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WEBVTT
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Top Gear 9x03
by TransGear subtitle team
the Sim-Race Federation of China
www.srfc.com.cn
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crew: RS4 Z102 bitcars catchup
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Thank you, Thank you!
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Hello and Welcome to what is,
tonight, a Top Gear special.
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It's special because it is just one big film.
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Yep. And to make it, we had to go on holiday.
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Well you say it was a holiday, but
actually it was a fly-drive holiday,
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so it wasn't a holiday at all.
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Because of course you get to the car hire desk,
and there is the gaudiness man with spiky hair.
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And he types "War and Peace" into his computer for 16
hours. And then he doesn't know where England is.
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And he steals your driving license.
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And that he directs you to a car park where your car isn't.
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So we're all gonna try and see if we could make it any better.
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Rather than suffer the misery of hiring a car,
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maybe it made more sense to buy one.
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We were each given the budget of 1000 dollars.
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Yeah, now here is the really clever bit.
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At the end of our holiday,
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which is essentially a road trip across 4 states,
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we would see if,
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instead of simply having to hand our hired car back,
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we can sell our cars
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and get most of the thousand dollars back.
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It's brilliant. Now, in the holiday we
had stones thrown at us by rednecks.
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We crashed into a river full of alligators.
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What else happened?
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We had to eat a squirrel.
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Ah, anyway, the big challenge was:
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could we buy a car for less than
it costs to rent one for a fortnight?
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Let's find out.
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Miami, cloudy sunny, 34 degrees.
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Yes, Miami, home to all the most successful drug dealers,
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this year's Mr. Big Mac,
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and Silicon Valley,
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all very glamorous. But our journey began here:
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in the city's used-car lots.
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This is where we had a morning to find a set
of wheels for less than a thousand dollars.
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I think I quite like to take this one for a test drive.
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What's under the bonnet of that?
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- It's a V6.
- V6?
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- Yes.
- Got anything with a V8?
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I wanted a muscle car. So I went straight
to a dealership that sells Corvettes.
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You got the keys? Thank you.
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Oh...
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- 400.
- 400 horse power for a 5.7 liter V8?
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Ah...
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Ok, how much is it?
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64,115
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si... sixty four?
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- thousand dollars?
- Yeah.
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What if I gave you 1 thousand dollars for it?
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- One thousand?
- Ehm...
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Richard it seems was being similarly ambitious.
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- How much is this?
- $89,900
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I need something a bit, a bit less than that.
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- A little bit less than that?
- Less than that.
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So how much for a Cougar?
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Cougars are anywhere from $35,000 to $200,000.
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Depending upon the condition and so on.
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I need something that's a bit less than that.
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- Less than that?
- How much for a Challenger?
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Challenger start at $20,000--$19,900.
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Less than that.
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- Less than that?
- Less than that.
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You see this, here, look, he is turning right on the red light.
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That's America's only contribution to Western civilization.
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(Radio)
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I was the only one using even a modicum of common sense.
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Would you take a thousand for this.
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OK, Err. That's gonna be a little bit difficult.
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Soon I took a leaf out of James's book.
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Lowered my sights and quickly found a
tidy Camaro at a place called "Adolf's"
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$2,900 this. It's a big ask to get him down to 1000.
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May I offer him a burger?
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Very popular with murderers these cars.
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Yeah.
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Meanwhile, I found something we don't have in Britain.
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A dealership specializing in ex-government cars.
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This would have been the police car. You can tell it by the colour,
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a hole for the aerial. And it says "police interceptor" on it.
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Now this one was probably, I don't know, maybe a spy?
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'Cos there is no badge on there. That could have
been a... man in black and that was a vet manner.
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Basically the important thing is:
They've all been properly maintained
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and I'm told that they are dirt cheap.
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And indeed they were.
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But even these were beyond my budget.
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I don't have anything right now for a 1000 dollars.
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Even sensible James was struggling.
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I want a real cold jack, smoking.
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- Ah... real cool car hum?
- Yeah.
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How about a '99 Honda Civic?
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Meanwhile, back at Adolf's, negotiations
on the Camaro had broken down.
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Eh, well, it's not going well, mate.
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I thought that we'd get here and we'd find all sort
of fantastic old American 80's cars for 300 dollars
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I know, I did, I did. I thought we would just be
tripping over Oldsmobiles, Cutlasses and Firebirds.
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So it's coz that we are buying that 90's
period when they were just making rubbish.
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And I'm looking at a Buick Le Sabre.
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- Oh, God, don't.
- It was rubbish when it was new.
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It was built by idiots. And it's rubbish now.
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I've got... You know we've got one hour left.
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And I've reached the bottom end of this town.
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Yeah, I wouldn't have the Chinese food
round here. Let's put it that way.
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The fact was though, if we were gonna find cars for $1,000,
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we'd have to go to a even lower bottom end of the town.
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How much murdering happens here?
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A lot. If you go one mile away here,
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you go to any street.
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- I'll be murdered.
- You'll find yourself killed
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Yeah. Everybody here, they have guns.
Including me, wanna see it?
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- He is not joking!
- It's real, here. 25.
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Now you see I wasn't ready for that.
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Welcome to United State.
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This is his other gun. That's not a
shot gun, Robert. That's a rifle.
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Right it's a rifle. The shot gun is somewhere
else. I don't know where it that one.
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You need these if you're gonna be a car sellsman.
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A guy right here if you go two blocks
down here. He got shot five times.
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Why? By someone buying the car?
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But he killed the guy.
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He killed a...
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He killed the guy finally.
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So why have you got telescopic sights on it?
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Because if they go far away, you just shoot them.
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You saw that movie with John Wayne?
A guy running all the way like 500 feet
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and 'Pooosh' you shoot him right there.
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- Hammond.
- Yes? Jeremy how are you doing?
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Just been told by my new best friend, Robert the Persian.
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if you go beyond 79 street, you will
definitely be murdered, shot. Good-bye.
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Hammond is wearing cowboy boots,
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They're gonna shoot him, aren't they?
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Is it south or north of 79 street I can't go?
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I decided the best plan was to
stay on 79 street itself.
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And came across what must be
the most optimistic dealer in town.
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Very well, these must.
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The lesson we've learned already was that
it was easier to rent a car than buy one.
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But we weren't giving up.
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Believe me, I'm desperate now. I'm desperate for wheels.
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Distressed look on the roof, gun shot holes.
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So car's got a history.
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It's messedбнoh, no. It's got tree growing out of it.
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There's been an accident over there,
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but the car's still running. And I was
just wondering if I could make an offer for it.
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We've been ambitious here I think.
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This $1000 is a low amount of money.
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I therefore decided to go beyond
the lower back end of town.
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You guys got any ideas where I
can find a car for a thousand dollars?
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A thousand dollars?
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Kind of cunning. You've got some great teeth
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You see these teeth! Haha...
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- You want it today?
- It's got to be today.
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OK. Alright, let me get back to you.
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Go right here to the stop front. Go to
right, go over exactly two blocks...
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- Over this way?
- Yeah.
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Amazingly the tip paid off. And I was the first
to arrive at our pre-arranged meeting point.
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the Miami Jai-Alai Stadium
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This is a Chevrolet Camaro, the RS model.
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5 liter V8 engine, 5 speed gear box, rear wheel drive
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a full-on American muscle car.
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Only three previous murderers
and I only paid 800 dollars for it.
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I am... It's a brilliant,
brilliant, brilliant find.
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Then Hammond turned up.
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Oh, dear. He's never been to America
before and now he's bought himself
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what he thinks all the Americans have.
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That is bluff.
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- What do you think?
- I'm /, well.
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- It's a Dodge Ram.
- It's terrible.
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A dent?
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I know, there are a few dents and
a bit's missing. But it's basic.
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It's basic motoring in its very best.
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You know how Mercedes goes?
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It's not a Mercedes. It's not a Mercedes.
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- How much?
- A thousand.
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That shuts. A thousand? 800.
I'm already 200 dollars ahead of you.
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800 dollars?
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The RS model.
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Was that the basic one?
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Of course it wasn't the basic one. RS is rally sport.
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I'd ask James on that one when he arrives.
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But I'm not entirely sure it was.
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It was the RS, the IROC-Z. The RS was the... yes...
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Yes the queerest.
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I'll keep quiet about it.
Every single thing on it works, nearly.
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It's a manual.
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Yeah, five on the floor, rear wheel drive,
I've got a muscle car. How many horse power?
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- 200 and... 170.
- Oh, rubbish. 190.
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How do they get such a small amount
of horse power from a car?
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The more pressing question though was where was James?
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When he walks into a dealership,
'Hello', and they will shoot him.
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Hahaha...
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How can it take so long?
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Because that's what he does.
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And he may have been lost.
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Good Grief!
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That's Tinanic. No, wait, I changed
my mind. It's an aircraft carrier.
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That's really big.
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That, gentlemen, is how you do it.
It's a 1989 Cadillac Brougham sedan.
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What do you think?
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Well, this is terrible.
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It's like a long walk round it. It's a really long walk.
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- I like that though.
- It doesn't just move up and down, look.
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It goes from side to side.
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Have you seen the roads around here? That is
a perfect car for the environment. 900 dollars.
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And you can see why.
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Oh look, well you don't do that, mate.
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Oh it's got newspaper in it.
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You can date it, find out when it was repaired.
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It was a Wednesday.
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What size engine does this thing got?
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5 liter V8. It's not fast, but it is fabulous.
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You don't say it's not fast. Is it not, mate?
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I'll tell you when you look at the...
Oh... it's like a Lotus Exige.
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James then turned on our cars.
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- The wheels are odd.
- No I've got an alloy.
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That's my alloy. Check out my alloy.
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This just has been made out of bits.
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It hasn't. Have you? Ah...
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Smells of bodies. Oh, it does smell a bit ripe.
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Hold on. This is...
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Er. No, that's the clothes of the
last person they killed.
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Oh, Jeez.
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Oh my.
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Oh God, no.
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That's the last person the driver killed.
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Don't look.
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Poor man, tried to get out.
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- James and I bought cars.
- Yes
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You've bought a pick-up truck.
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Now the reason that yours is in better
condition is because it's just a pick-up truck.
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It's lovely. I'm delighted with it.
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I quite like the pick-up truck.
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- Oh, come on. Compared to the Camaro...
- It's the land of the pick-up truck.
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- What you don't like the Camaro?
- I don't. I'm sorry I don't.
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Well, I do. I mean, one of those in
good nick. Yes. Yours is a dog.
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- It isn't.
- It is... Jeremy.
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But every one of us has got something better
than you get from a rental desk in an airport.
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- Oh, Yeah.
- Oh, Yeah.
13:10.450 --> 13:14.550
To find out how good our cars were. We were told to head to a race track.
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90 miles north of Miami.
13:17.685 --> 13:21.615
There we'll be given a seris of challenges.
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I'm in a murderer's muscle car, heading through Miami.
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Yes
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This is brilliant. I love pick-up trucks.
13:38.812 --> 13:44.070
It's a Cadillac. I'm absolutely staggered.
13:46.000 --> 13:52.074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
13:53.800 --> 13:57.400
I've even got a functioning radio.
13:58.420 --> 14:02.820
Although there is only one station it'll
pick up, which is gospel. Ready?
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(Radio)... the people of the holy spirit,
- Yes
14:06.193 --> 14:09.890
(Radio) - Jesus Christ is my lord...
- Yes I agree with you.
14:12.598 --> 14:16.558
(Radio) Temperatures very high today,
we're well into the 90s, near 100.
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The mono radio staion however was the tip of an iceberg.
14:22.750 --> 14:27.320
If I'm honest, there are one or two issues with my Camaro.
14:27.355 --> 14:30.165
Ah... the rev counter for example, broken.
14:30.200 --> 14:35.120
Then there is an alarming knocking noise
from the front suspension when it goes over a bump,
14:35.155 --> 14:36.500
or when you are on full lock.
14:38.220 --> 14:41.120
The others too, were finding problems.
14:41.121 --> 14:45.665
Now we're alone you and I, I've got to admit
to one or two very small faults with my Cadillac.
14:45.666 --> 14:49.009
First is that squeak, which is a loose
belt or a belt ring or something.
14:49.107 --> 14:52.749
The other, it is fantastically slow this thing.
14:52.750 --> 14:58.425
I'm doing 55 and I'm putting my foot down.
And I'm really struggling to get it up to 60
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If I'm honest,
15:03.242 --> 15:05.431
it does pull a little bit to the right.
15:05.432 --> 15:09.167
And if I brake, it pulls to the left really badly.
15:09.370 --> 15:11.622
I'm right behind Richard Hammond's Dodge Ram,
15:11.623 --> 15:15.020
but I just noticed for the first time
that the body doesn't line up...
15:17.439 --> 15:19.204
... with the wheels quite right.
15:21.193 --> 15:25.927
But the worst problem by a mile is the air-conditioning,
15:25.962 --> 15:30.363
which, as you can probably see from the
state of my shirt, is broken
15:31.659 --> 15:35.763
92% humidity. Ha... No air-con.
15:35.764 --> 15:40.393
The only consolation I have is that Hammond's
air-conditioning doesn't work either.
15:40.924 --> 15:44.167
Apart from the air-conditioning
not working, it's pretty much perfect.
15:44.202 --> 15:47.400
For the first time I've got a radio on one of these trips.
15:56.592 --> 15:59.279
But enough of the car's little foibles.
15:59.314 --> 16:04.272
It was time to settle down and enjoy our
journey across the Sunshine State.
16:08.385 --> 16:10.342
God, Florida's awful!
16:11.553 --> 16:15.750
Nasty insects, old people, fat people,
16:15.785 --> 16:21.072
a lot of people who all offer you cheese: 'you
want cheese with that? You want cheese with that'?
16:21.107 --> 16:23.135
And they'll shoot you.
16:30.429 --> 16:34.871
While Hammond roasted, James remained smug and cool.
16:34.906 --> 16:39.581
It's get a bit of parky actually. I think I'll
just turn the temperature up very slightly.
16:43.581 --> 16:47.111
Look, I'm Burt Reynolds, I'm the Bandit.
16:54.507 --> 16:57.293
Eventually, we turned off the high way.
16:58.685 --> 17:00.818
And arrived at the race track.
17:02.873 --> 17:06.583
The Moroso Motorsports Park is unusual in the America.
17:06.759 --> 17:11.976
Because it has left-handed turns,
and some which go right as well.
17:13.057 --> 17:16.458
Perhaps that's why it was deserted:
too complicated for the colonials.
17:17.297 --> 17:19.549
Or maybe everyone had been murdered.
17:20.167 --> 17:24.292
Whatever. It was time for our first challenge.
17:24.537 --> 17:28.297
It says here that each of our cars
must complete one lap of the track.
17:28.298 --> 17:30.067
The target is 1 minute 10 seconds
17:30.102 --> 17:34.335
Get points for every second under that time,
and you lose points for every second over it.
17:34.336 --> 17:36.250
Yeah, but the thing is none of us has ever seen that track.
17:36.251 --> 17:37.249
Yes, that's gonna be tricky.
17:37.284 --> 17:39.192
- We're not driving.
- Well who is?
17:39.853 --> 17:45.757
Some say that he's a C.I.A. experiment that
went wrong, and that he only eats cheese.
17:45.758 --> 17:51.296
All we know is, he's not the Stig.
But he is the Stig's American cousin!
17:54.203 --> 17:54.871
Woo!
17:59.700 --> 18:01.753
- Big Stig!
- Hahaha...
18:05.445 --> 18:09.009
First, he squeezed himself into my Camaro.
18:09.243 --> 18:14.325
One, Two, Three, Go!
18:14.969 --> 18:18.852
Hahaha... I was expecting: 'Rarara... '
18:22.224 --> 18:25.934
- Nought to 60 in 7.9 seconds.
- Yeah, once.
18:27.602 --> 18:31.049
- Can do 110 and he is doing that now!
- And no more.
18:31.294 --> 18:33.641
- It's limited. It's electronically limited.
- No.
18:33.641 --> 18:37.325
It's just naturally limited to 110 'cos it's rubbish.
18:43.264 --> 18:45.955
Lean that weight in there Big Stig.
18:46.134 --> 18:50.662
Here it goes. 1 minutes 9 seconds on our Top Stopwatch.
18:50.822 --> 18:52.801
- Is that good?
- We don't know, do we?
18:52.822 --> 18:55.690
What we did know was that the Pipmobile was next.
18:55.934 --> 18:58.968
- I'm gonna need a calendar for this. Not a stopwatch.
- Yeah.
18:58.969 --> 19:00.433
- You got a diary?
- I might...
19:00.434 --> 19:03.428
I'm gonna hold this stone and as it's eroded by the wind
19:03.463 --> 19:05.607
That'll give us an idea of how long he has been.
19:05.608 --> 19:07.218
Air-con, max.
19:12.452 --> 19:14.268
Oh, cock.
19:14.268 --> 19:16.422
Hahaha...
19:16.817 --> 19:19.072
- It's broken, isn't it?
- It's run out of electricity.
19:19.280 --> 19:22.355
To raise the Titanic, we borrowed a battery booster.
19:22.369 --> 19:25.154
Is that for starting your watch while it stopped.
19:26.757 --> 19:28.673
- Oh, it's begun.
- Oh, it's very good.
19:28.773 --> 19:32.331
One, Two, Three, go!
19:32.492 --> 19:34.925
- Hahaha...
- It's moved off.
19:34.926 --> 19:37.265
It's still moving off.
19:46.336 --> 19:47.636
24 days.
19:50.695 --> 19:52.001
I'm getting older.
19:56.446 --> 19:58.716
Hey, look, it's fabulous. Come on, admit it.
19:58.751 --> 20:00.285
Well, we've got plenty of time to admire it.
20:03.534 --> 20:08.176
The Cadillac certainly seemed to suit
Big Stig's relaxed driving style.
20:11.975 --> 20:14.192
- Hahaha...
- On the grass!
20:14.193 --> 20:18.968
But would the match made in Heaven be able to beat the Camaro's 1:09?
20:19.844 --> 20:20.767
Yeah!
20:20.767 --> 20:22.673
- Go on.
- One minute fourteen.
20:22.836 --> 20:25.824
So now it's all down to Hammond's hillbilly-mobile.
20:25.859 --> 20:27.384
- One, two, three, go!
- Let it rock, Yeah!
20:28.356 --> 20:29.440
Oh, nice. Haha.
20:29.512 --> 20:31.637
- Is that manual?
- It sounds very... Yeah.
20:31.672 --> 20:33.878
Stick shift, four on the floor with overdrive.
20:35.909 --> 20:38.639
Actually it all looked pretty promising.
20:38.640 --> 20:40.628
This beats mine I'm gonna have to kill you.
20:40.629 --> 20:43.434
And I am in a Camaro, so don't think that won't happen.
20:46.435 --> 20:48.723
Oh, it's a proud and noble thing.
20:51.665 --> 20:54.915
You've seen Brokeback Mountain and thought:
'I want a piece of that life. '
20:54.916 --> 20:57.355
Not that piece, I'll have the pick-up truck.
20:59.153 --> 21:04.566
Although the truck had started well, in the
last few tight corners it was rubbish.
21:04.903 --> 21:07.226
Have you seen that my alloy dancing in the sun.
21:08.243 --> 21:10.040
- Where were you? 1:14?
- Yeah.
21:10.075 --> 21:13.697
- 12:13, 1:14, Yes!
- No it can't be... No!
21:13.698 --> 21:17.038
- How can that happen?
- 1:16.9.
21:17.039 --> 21:20.005
I think that's more to do with
the Stig being too big to get...
21:23.081 --> 21:25.001
He didn't make the turn.
21:25.898 --> 21:28.282
Fat Stig's work was done.
21:29.726 --> 21:33.075
And so it was time for the next challenge.
21:33.650 --> 21:37.047
You must each accelerate your car to 50 mph,
21:37.048 --> 21:40.433
when you reach 50 mph you must brake as hard as you can.
21:40.434 --> 21:43.731
So this is a test of acceleration and braking all together?
21:43.732 --> 21:46.312
Yes, you must brake before the end of the track.
21:46.411 --> 21:48.926
At the end of the track, there is a river...
21:49.255 --> 21:50.313
That's no big deal.
21:50.663 --> 21:52.230
... full of alligators.
21:52.824 --> 21:55.157
And that wasn't a missprint.
21:56.273 --> 22:00.643
I should explain. That is the track. So
if you look out there, OK? There it is. OK?
22:00.644 --> 22:04.304
And here, this is alligator infested.
22:05.503 --> 22:07.672
There's another one.
22:08.535 --> 22:11.709
We drew hot dogs, and mine was the shortest.
22:12.465 --> 22:13.861
I hope he doesn't die at the end.
22:14.011 --> 22:17.922
It's salt-water crocodiles you need to worry about, I think.
22:17.957 --> 22:20.615
Oh, no. I hope he doesn't go in the river. That'd be awful.
22:20.650 --> 22:23.800
Here we go, the hell with the clucks.
22:24.230 --> 22:25.209
Spirited start.
22:25.344 --> 22:28.354
Come on. 30, I don't wanna be eaten by an alligator.
22:29.272 --> 22:35.505
35, 40, 45, it's 50!
22:40.246 --> 22:44.387
- That's doubly disappointing. No. 1, he is not dead.
- Yeah.
22:44.422 --> 22:49.433
And No. 2 the fastest accelerating car
here only just stopped before the grass.
22:49.930 --> 22:55.924
Surely though, the Huggy Bear-mobile would
struggle to do 0 to 50 to 0 in the distance.
23:00.228 --> 23:02.452
- That is movement.
- Oh, come on car!
23:04.208 --> 23:07.438
Come on, come on, come on, I'm nearly there!
23:07.438 --> 23:08.895
Break!
23:13.375 --> 23:15.673
Strewth, I'm worried.
23:15.814 --> 23:21.154
I should imagine he's clenched in there...
8 tons of Caddy.
23:22.464 --> 23:23.931
I was really nervious.
23:23.931 --> 23:28.989
I'd just seen Big Stig try to stop
my truck, and fail completely.
23:30.642 --> 23:32.450
We're away, 20...
23:33.286 --> 23:35.659
Here he comes to a certain death!
23:35.731 --> 23:40.033
40. 45. Takes ages...
23:40.034 --> 23:41.138
Oh, my God.
23:41.491 --> 23:42.806
- God
- Oh, my.
23:46.278 --> 23:48.444
Haha... That is quite funny.
23:49.218 --> 23:51.968
- Hammond, alligators, mate.
- Are you alive?
23:52.530 --> 23:57.119
Yeah, I suggest we may have made them angry.
23:57.120 --> 24:00.223
We have just driven in their...hahaha... into the living room.
24:00.224 --> 24:02.263
Such an insufferarable oaf.
24:02.264 --> 24:04.402
Oh, there is my pickup, look!
24:04.403 --> 24:08.738
The cars had survived their ordeal by track, just.
24:11.282 --> 24:13.920
But the next morning, the real test began.
24:17.157 --> 24:22.308
A sweltering 800-mile road trip to New Orleans.
24:28.315 --> 24:34.488
Today, probably cloudy, high sun all over 90's,
chance of thunderstorms 30%
24:36.172 --> 24:38.079
Things started badly.
24:46.239 --> 24:48.551
- Has it got petrol in it?
- Yeah, look it's full.
24:48.552 --> 24:52.860
Well, yeah, but has it got petrol in it? It could be broken.
24:52.895 --> 24:58.176
- When did you last put petrol in it?
- Erm... Miami.
24:58.211 --> 25:02.496
- Now you come to mention it.
- You stupid man.
25:02.496 --> 25:05.655
It's a 5 liter V8! See you then.
25:05.766 --> 25:09.648
The car was fine. What's happened is... Hahaha.
25:09.649 --> 25:11.392
Mine ran out of electricity again.
25:11.393 --> 25:12.888
You're joking.
25:12.889 --> 25:15.449
Can I borrow your van and your jump leads?
25:15.484 --> 25:18.811
See how prepared we are on this sh... show.
25:20.279 --> 25:22.713
You have the err.. leads in your car.
25:22.748 --> 25:24.414
No, no, you have the leads.
25:24.415 --> 25:26.773
I'm not stupid, man!?
25:28.021 --> 25:31.829
I've got a door panel, some bolts, and that's it.
25:31.830 --> 25:33.354
What's the matter?
25:33.355 --> 25:36.619
- He's lost the Jump Leads...
- He's lost the Jump Leads, HE has lost the Jump Leads...
25:36.849 --> 25:39.286
This isn't going well is it?
25:40.555 --> 25:42.956
If you're thinking of coming to
America this is what it's like:
25:43.028 --> 25:46.914
you got your Comfort Inn; you got your Best
Western; you got your Red Lobster where you eat.
25:47.443 --> 25:51.325
Everybody's very fat, everybody's very
stupid and everybody's very rude.
25:53.654 --> 25:56.262
It's not the Holiday programme - it's the truth.
25:57.349 --> 26:01.906
Eventually the leads were found and Hammond
positioned himself for the jump start.
26:01.907 --> 26:05.685
- No it's not funny.
- Hahaha...
26:08.567 --> 26:09.758
We're off!
26:09.793 --> 26:11.814
I'm sweating already.
26:12.030 --> 26:13.433
Yes, I'm not going be to for much longer.
26:13.433 --> 26:15.859
It's not a sunny day, It's just a humid day this day.
26:15.894 --> 26:17.517
You know what this is?
26:17.552 --> 26:18.986
Tropical.
26:19.021 --> 26:21.318
No, that's the approach of a cold front.
26:21.319 --> 26:23.859
That's tall cumulonimbus with a high...
26:31.020 --> 26:34.602
It's bigger than you expect. You don't feel like...
26:43.263 --> 26:45.798
I'd love to know what Hammond thinks he looks like.
26:45.799 --> 26:49.721
Chewing gum, his aviators, his cowboy hat, his pickup truck.
26:53.052 --> 26:58.927
To help relieve the tedium of the journey, the
production office had provided us with C.B. Radios
26:58.928 --> 27:02.110
And for those, we needed appropriate call signs
27:02.111 --> 27:05.198
Brokeback, Brokeback, this is Murderer.
27:07.021 --> 27:09.461
This is Brokeback, to Murderer and Captain that...
27:09.462 --> 27:13.073
!@#$%^&
27:13.173 --> 27:16.843
No wonder these C.B. Radios never caught on.
27:16.844 --> 27:21.325
Break break one nine contact eye ball ten
ten, should we do it again? Captain Slow.
27:21.326 --> 27:24.117
!@#$%^&
27:24.118 --> 27:27.757
There, he is there and I can't understand him.
27:29.153 --> 27:32.572
This was hopeless. So we changed channals.
27:32.941 --> 27:35.108
Hello, I'm on 22, are you there?
27:35.109 --> 27:37.816
- Yooo, big boy!
- Hahaha...
27:38.164 --> 27:41.232
And finally made contact with a native.
27:43.332 --> 27:44.980
That's him in that truck!
27:47.964 --> 27:51.131
He is asking...
27:51.132 --> 27:56.120
He's asking another lorry driver where
he might find a lady friend for the afternoon.
27:57.450 --> 28:02.744
All they've got to talk about on that
C.B. is the weather, and prostitutes.
28:02.779 --> 28:07.792
Yeah, It's raining, ah, I'm going north, and I'm looking for a whore.
28:11.002 --> 28:15.760
As we headed northwest, the heat and humidity became unbearable.
28:19.187 --> 28:21.568
You are sitting there, in the winter,
28:21.569 --> 28:26.352
you can't imagine what it's like to be in a
non-airconditioned car in Florida now.
28:26.353 --> 28:28.086
It's so hot!
28:29.964 --> 28:31.867
(Radio) Danger persists in the hot West.
28:31.867 --> 28:36.960
(Radio) Even if almost a quarter of the fire is contained,
much of it is still burning out of control.
28:38.785 --> 28:42.354
Only the insufferable May wasn't suffering.
28:42.950 --> 28:47.159
Chaps it's May here, just to let you know
that my air-conditioning is working very nicely.
28:47.159 --> 28:49.053
it's 69 degrees Fahrenheit
28:49.054 --> 28:50.676
Yes, alright.
28:50.677 --> 28:55.270
But then the smile was wiped from his face, again.
29:01.971 --> 29:03.679
I brought you some presents.
29:03.680 --> 29:06.810
I've got you steak and cheese biscuit.
29:06.971 --> 29:07.504
What?
29:07.505 --> 29:10.534
- I bought you a fan.
- really?
29:10.535 --> 29:13.390
- Yeah, we've got fans. How do you feel now?
- That's fantastic, mate.
29:13.391 --> 29:15.767
Yeah, air-con, there it is.
29:18.460 --> 29:19.575
See what I've got.
29:19.576 --> 29:21.008
- Harman cheese?
- Yeah.
29:21.009 --> 29:24.105
Dandy Harman Cheese, original ingredients, blablabla...
29:24.106 --> 29:27.024
And, imitation American cheese.
29:27.025 --> 29:29.315
So is there anything that hasn't actually got any cheese on this?
29:29.910 --> 29:35.116
After our imitation American lunch,
it was my turn to help restart the Cadillac.
29:38.538 --> 29:39.447
Oh, yes!
29:45.210 --> 29:47.044
Oh I'm back in the sweat box.
29:55.756 --> 30:00.248
Now what that is doing is just turbo charging warm air into my face.
30:14.915 --> 30:20.805
Nice bit. Jeremy, this is Brokeback, did you cut the wire?
30:26.319 --> 30:30.282
(Radio) You want your man to look good,
but words like 'ex-foliant' scare him?
30:35.724 --> 30:39.796
The miles passed with the Cadillac endlessly breaking down.
30:42.074 --> 30:44.125
- Have you got the leads?
- No, you've got the leads.
30:44.126 --> 30:46.230
(Radio) ...on my first qualify while it sounds a little modest...
30:46.769 --> 30:50.750
Still, thanks to the automatic windscreen
washers at Florida Service Stations
30:51.310 --> 30:52.445
No, no!
30:52.446 --> 30:57.407
Hammond and I could at least enjoy some refreshing
showers, while he got it going again.
31:01.306 --> 31:04.591
The Cadillac, however, was not the only trouble maker.
31:05.155 --> 31:09.669
After just 200 miles my Camaro was hardly tiptop, either.
31:11.427 --> 31:17.333
Right, sit-rep on the Camaro, some of the headlights
are working, the dashboard's come off,
31:17.368 --> 31:22.650
all the dials are broken, one radio speaker
remains, however, and it's good!
31:24.698 --> 31:28.060
(radio) Good news is that with God's help we can stop Global Warming.
31:28.934 --> 31:35.342
(Radio) In a world where the tails stop wagging,
sticks don't get fetched and chew toys stay dry,
31:35.343 --> 31:37.643
(Radio) one man dares to step forward and declare:
31:37.842 --> 31:40.680
(Radio) I can get to the root of your dog's depression.
31:44.589 --> 31:49.974
Eventually, our Top Gear fly-drive holiday
convoy reached the 300 mile mark.
31:50.785 --> 31:54.626
And as a reward, the production office gave each of us $100
31:54.626 --> 31:59.295
to buy an accessory that might in some way make our journey less arduous.
32:00.958 --> 32:05.532
Hoping and praying that James had bought a new
battery for his stupid Cadillac,
32:05.533 --> 32:08.385
We all met up to show off our new toys.
32:08.386 --> 32:09.847
A trailer?
32:09.848 --> 32:12.413
No, a Freedom Grill 500.
32:12.414 --> 32:13.414
A grilling system?
32:13.415 --> 32:15.745
- It's a grilling system.
- What is it?
32:17.197 --> 32:20.859
- I have been...no way!
- No.
32:21.056 --> 32:26.011
Look at that. Drop tail gate, cooking
platform, what do you think?
32:26.012 --> 32:31.719
Gordon Ramsey hasn't got anything like that in
his kitchen. You got anything that good James?
32:32.045 --> 32:32.738
No.
32:32.739 --> 32:36.822
Right, I got a clothes rack.
32:36.823 --> 32:40.209
- What?
- Look at my perfectly pressed linen jacket.
32:40.210 --> 32:42.498
- He has a linen jacket on the clothes...
- He has got...
- Don't wobble it.
32:42.499 --> 32:48.969
Ok, you step into your car. And here if you look, is a shower.
32:48.970 --> 32:50.867
- In your car?
- Yeah.
32:50.868 --> 32:52.772
Where do you get the water from then?
32:52.773 --> 32:55.398
It comes from the cool box in the back, it's tuned.
32:55.399 --> 33:00.900
And then you just plug this into the cigarette
lighter, hit that button, refreshing shower.
33:00.900 --> 33:02.266
I bet you're all jealous.
33:04.580 --> 33:10.161
Sadly though our dreams of luxury living
were shattered when we received the next challenge
33:11.245 --> 33:13.629
Tonight, you will be camping.
33:13.630 --> 33:15.089
- What?
- I know.
33:15.090 --> 33:20.428
And you're only allowed to eat what you find dead at the side of the road.
33:20.429 --> 33:22.889
What? You mean road kill?
33:22.890 --> 33:24.733
Yeah, you're only allowed...it's on the... yeah.
33:24.734 --> 33:27.656
It says animals that we find by the side of the road, dead.
33:27.657 --> 33:29.093
Yeah, that's our supper.
33:29.094 --> 33:33.420
Hey, just think about it: you can prepare the food, like for cooking wash it.
33:33.421 --> 33:35.880
I can then cook it. James can dress for dinner.
33:38.667 --> 33:43.070
...these potatos, tomatos, it's lightened up.
I can see that, so let me ask you,
33:43.071 --> 33:45.845
how high should a pineapple bounce when it's ripe?
33:46.965 --> 33:53.445
OK, sit-rep, the power steering pump really is on its last legs,
33:53.446 --> 33:55.781
I've got a terrible wheel wobble.
33:56.853 --> 34:02.755
Er... but I'm cool for the first time
since I set off. I am cool now!
34:04.727 --> 34:09.949
To increase our chances of finding some road kill,
we swapped the interstate for smaller roads.
34:12.568 --> 34:15.132
And very quickly, we got lucky.
34:16.112 --> 34:17.192
On the right, what's that?
34:20.822 --> 34:23.786
You know what, I... I don't fancy it.
34:28.436 --> 34:33.713
No matter though, because further down the
road I came across a fresh and tasty possum.
34:33.714 --> 34:35.168
But then...
34:35.168 --> 34:40.475
James don't ran over it you stupid...!
You blithering idiot, you just ran over it.
34:41.949 --> 34:43.616
That's not edible now, is it?
34:45.237 --> 34:48.603
For flattening our supper, James was punished.
35:00.348 --> 35:05.079
Eventually, we did find fresh meat,
but it was a bit too fresh.
35:06.766 --> 35:10.180
- I thought you were gonna run it over.
- No, even I wouldn't do that.
35:11.851 --> 35:14.792
Errr...Don't do that tortoise.
35:14.793 --> 35:17.690
How can you have wild...there is no wild tortoises.
35:17.691 --> 35:19.048
Well, they're gonna be somewhere.
35:19.049 --> 35:20.867
He's escaped from some eight-year-old girl and...
35:20.868 --> 35:24.228
How does a tortoise escape? Come back, come back!
35:25.741 --> 35:28.489
Finally though, 10 miles down the road.
35:28.490 --> 35:29.707
We've got dinner!
35:31.941 --> 35:34.266
- Squirrel.
- Check that out!
35:34.708 --> 35:38.049
I think that with a bit of cheese will be delicious.
35:42.502 --> 35:45.783
I never told you about my vegetarianism, did I?
35:49.751 --> 35:53.690
Soon, we were near the field where
we would be camping for the night.
35:53.869 --> 35:54.691
Right now.
35:55.651 --> 36:01.845
Sun's going down, with my mates, it's down below 90 degrees,
36:01.846 --> 36:06.776
we're in the deep south, it's a pleasant evening.
36:06.777 --> 36:08.695
This is nice.
36:16.935 --> 36:22.024
But we still only had a squirrel for dinner, so I peeled off for one last forage
36:22.025 --> 36:25.166
while the others went ahead to set up camp.
36:27.662 --> 36:28.610
Sorry.
36:29.142 --> 36:30.426
Right, we've got work to do.
36:31.344 --> 36:35.896
Begin, squirrel on the rack, and then maybe... here is my plan:
36:35.897 --> 36:39.594
with a few herbs, garnished, something like that.
36:40.178 --> 36:42.441
Em... I'm thinking if I cook it once,
36:43.646 --> 36:48.509
and then maybe cook it again, so it'll
go like crispy duck, only it's a squirrel.
36:52.497 --> 36:54.442
Is he ever coming back?
36:54.722 --> 36:55.977
We can't just lob it on, can we?
36:55.978 --> 36:59.665
OK, when with a rabbit, you take the head off, you go down the middle.
36:59.666 --> 37:01.698
But all we've got to do with is this tent pick
37:01.761 --> 37:03.351
- Didn't you bring a penknife?
- No.
37:07.374 --> 37:11.610
Time passed and still no sign of Jeremy.
37:12.101 --> 37:15.004
I'm not peeling it, mate. I don't see why I should do it.
37:15.005 --> 37:16.785
- Come on.
- I don't want to peel a squirrel.
37:16.785 --> 37:19.036
- I'm gonna bring a squirrel over to you.
- Is that a car?
37:19.251 --> 37:20.381
Is it Jezza?
37:21.955 --> 37:24.979
James, in all seriousness,
37:25.743 --> 37:28.667
That's ... what?!
37:30.811 --> 37:33.212
You have got to be...
37:44.738 --> 37:46.582
It's a flaming cow, mate.
37:57.870 --> 37:59.803
- Main course.
- Yeah.
37:59.804 --> 38:02.863
I'm thinking how long have I've been in the sun putting the tent up.
38:02.864 --> 38:06.590
- Why?
- Because, what I'm seeing, heha, you'll love it.
38:06.591 --> 38:08.652
Is a cow on the roof of your Camaro.
38:09.208 --> 38:11.341
It is, isn't it? That is a cow on there.
38:11.342 --> 38:13.303
I don't want to be pedantic, but is it a road kill?
38:13.593 --> 38:15.327
Well you're suggesting I ran it down?
38:15.328 --> 38:17.343
- Well...
- Check out the front of my car.
38:17.344 --> 38:19.571
I had to find someone to help me getting it on there.
38:19.572 --> 38:24.462
But I didn't ran it down. It was at the side of the
road, and now it's on the roof, and now it's our supper.
38:24.497 --> 38:25.831
Do you know what to do with it?
38:25.832 --> 38:26.806
Well, we gotta...
38:26.807 --> 38:29.544
Peel it. I'm not peeling that.
38:31.036 --> 38:33.993
First though, we had to get it off the roof.
38:33.994 --> 38:36.866
What if I go round a corner quite quickly, backwards?
38:36.867 --> 38:40.053
- If I reverse.
- Em... Left hand down, yeah.
38:40.054 --> 38:42.653
Left hand down, it'll roll over that way, do we think?
38:42.654 --> 38:43.852
I reckon it's just good to go.
38:47.217 --> 38:48.892
Yes, there you go!
38:49.731 --> 38:51.546
- Hey, Jeremy.
- What?
38:51.547 --> 38:54.678
I'm better, I can't see a cow on the roof of your Camaro anymore.
38:54.679 --> 38:55.777
- I've done.
- I'm not hungry.
38:55.778 --> 38:57.951
- What?
- I'm not hungry.
38:58.603 --> 38:59.501
You son...
39:00.087 --> 39:02.058
It stinks, Jeremy.
39:05.687 --> 39:09.446
That night, Brokeback and I feasted on beef and squirrel.
39:09.807 --> 39:16.951
And then with May in bed, we decided it would be better for
all of us if the air-conditioning in his car were to break.
39:28.571 --> 39:29.352
- Shh...
- OK.
39:29.353 --> 39:30.575
Sorry.
39:32.398 --> 39:34.142
Why don't we just hit it with a hammer?
39:37.305 --> 39:39.089
Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on.
39:43.417 --> 39:45.962
They really built it on buses. It's ridiculous!
39:45.962 --> 39:47.224
That's come off. Hehehe...
39:49.123 --> 39:51.232
I'm just hitting it with a spatula.
39:51.232 --> 39:53.405
Another mosquito's bit my face.
39:53.406 --> 39:54.659
It's not working, isn't...?
40:05.128 --> 40:06.712
He is gonna notice, isn't he?
40:13.341 --> 40:17.904
Another humid day dawned and now May knew what it felt like.
40:18.982 --> 40:29.318
Those pathetic, lager swilling, barbequing, redneck thugs
that I call my co-presenters have vandalised my car.
40:33.287 --> 40:37.002
I have had to make a few modifications to car on...
40:37.003 --> 40:43.577
this morning, because of the cow incident I lost the aerial.
So now I've got an i-station instead.
40:43.578 --> 40:47.578
And that teemed with a fan means I really can't see where I'm going.
40:47.579 --> 40:52.743
Also, because some cow did get into the car,
I'm using air fresheners to cover up the smell
40:52.743 --> 40:54.730
So I can't really see where I've been.
40:55.480 --> 41:01.955
Oh, and the passenger seat, I've got lots of cow juice
on it, so it's now at the back of Hammond's truck.
41:06.021 --> 41:11.082
(radio) At this afternoon, skys will be considerably
cloudy, with showers and thunderstorms likely.
41:11.082 --> 41:14.343
Northeast winds, 5 to 10 miles per hour.
41:14.957 --> 41:18.573
Come on. Alabama's only 40 miles now.
41:20.531 --> 41:27.426
Our scrapyard cars had covered 650 miles and
inevitably they were becoming more than just metal.
41:27.570 --> 41:32.035
This whole thing now really sums up why I love cars.
41:32.070 --> 41:37.900
Now you take this Camaro, the dash is more
plastic than an American newsreader,
41:37.935 --> 41:39.985
the engine's got less power than Belgium,
41:40.020 --> 41:44.000
the suspension is softer than journalism in an
in-flight magazine,
41:44.035 --> 41:47.220
and of course it reeks of cow.
41:47.255 --> 41:49.015
But, I adore it.
41:49.050 --> 41:52.915
because you can just sense it wants to keep going.
41:52.950 --> 41:57.250
And I bet James is exactly the same there in the Cadillac.
41:57.285 --> 42:00.620
I bet he is having exactly the same emotions.
42:01.450 --> 42:05.350
I'd rather be in this now than an Enzo. And I'm not joking.
42:07.000 --> 42:12.077
But before we entered Alabama, we have to go to
Bagdad for our next challenge.
42:18.750 --> 42:22.115
This is it. We're in Bagdad.
42:22.150 --> 42:26.600
Not a place I was expecting to visit on this trip.
42:43.221 --> 42:44.817
Challenge time.
42:44.850 --> 42:48.065
Lose 5 pounds in 1 hour.
42:48.100 --> 42:49.469
Yep, sweat it away.
42:49.504 --> 42:50.670
Come on then.
42:50.705 --> 42:52.265
No.
42:52.300 --> 42:59.020
OK. It says here we must not be shot or arrested
as we drive across the proud state of Alabama.
42:59.055 --> 43:04.620
But we will get bonus points if we can get
one of the others shot or arrested.
43:04.655 --> 43:07.165
I don't understand. How do we do that?
43:07.200 --> 43:13.070
You will therefore decorate one another's cars
in such a way to draw maximum attention to yourself in this
43:13.070 --> 43:16.750
Bible-bashing, redneck, deeply Christian
part of the Union.
43:16.785 --> 43:18.235
Decorate?
43:18.270 --> 43:22.770
I think what it means is we each have to write
slogans on the other one's car, so you...
43:22.805 --> 43:24.027
to get them killed?
43:24.062 --> 43:25.215
- Yeah, so...
- Alright?
43:25.250 --> 43:28.470
You do Hammond's. Take it away into the bushes. You do...
43:28.505 --> 43:29.385
I'll do yours, I'm getting you killed.
43:29.472 --> 43:31.263
- I've got an idea.
- Well, come on.
43:35.100 --> 43:41.135
The south, the south. It is Christian,
short hair, they don't like Communists.
43:41.170 --> 43:45.447
What is closest to their heart. I gotta get him
killed. This is once-in-a-life oppotunity.
43:45.447 --> 43:47.971
I (won't) be letting you down, me down, everybody down.
43:51.870 --> 43:55.545
Revenge for all those height cacks.
Every time he's called me Hamster.
43:55.580 --> 43:59.220
This is for every time you've been late and lost.
43:59.255 --> 44:01.700
Can you tell what it says yet?
44:10.450 --> 44:12.535
James, I hate you for that.
44:12.570 --> 44:13.835
I really hate you for that.
44:13.870 --> 44:16.735
All the time you drove into the back of my Cadillac.
44:16.770 --> 44:20.629
Do you know, actually, I think honestly
we've all done a good job here
44:20.745 --> 44:25.650
but I do believe that the person most
likely to be shot is indeed Hammond.
44:25.685 --> 44:29.070
- I think the thing done there James is killed your friend.
- Yeah.
44:30.220 --> 44:33.550
Gingerly, we rejoined the open road.
44:35.800 --> 44:38.135
3 religions down here.
44:38.170 --> 44:41.970
George Bush, God, Country and Western.
44:42.005 --> 44:45.820
In that order, ascending order.
44:46.774 --> 44:52.521
'Country and western is rubbish'
44:54.345 --> 44:58.863
'Hillary for president'
44:59.600 --> 45:03.970
I'll be honest. I have felt less conspicuous than this.
45:05.114 --> 45:09.837
'Man-love rules OK'
45:14.420 --> 45:17.350
Here we are. Sweet home Alabama.
45:26.400 --> 45:31.522
They've shot their own sign. What are they gonna do to us.
45:51.200 --> 45:54.015
To understand what Jeremy's actually done to my car,
45:54.050 --> 45:57.770
You have to remember that this is deep Republican territory.
45:57.805 --> 46:02.800
That woman is the arch Democrat. She is the anti-Christ.
46:03.220 --> 46:05.335
It's not just the slogan,
46:05.370 --> 46:11.772
It's the fact that it's painted on
a pickup, symbol of the South, I mean...
46:14.500 --> 46:18.065
And then Jeremy's written on the boot: NASCAR sucks.
46:18.100 --> 46:21.370
That's a type of saloon car racing that is very very big
in this part of the world.
46:21.405 --> 46:22.970
This is where all the drivers come from,
46:23.005 --> 46:24.877
All the building of the cars is done.
46:24.912 --> 46:26.715
All the supporters come from down here.
46:26.750 --> 46:31.870
To say it sucks is a bit like going up
and punching somebody's sainted mother.
46:48.350 --> 46:53.120
We've survived the highway but then
we had to pull into a town for fuel.
46:59.800 --> 47:03.950
Oh, this is really terrifying.
47:11.570 --> 47:17.950
OK. Just, that's diesel.
47:18.735 --> 47:24.400
Listen, listen...The / president. Tha..That's not going down well.
47:25.370 --> 47:29.691
This lady was cross. But not as cross as the garage's owner.
47:29.789 --> 47:31.091
I'll ask you!
47:31.550 --> 47:35.915
Now are you all gay, hooking to see I want it takes your beat up in a hick town?
47:35.950 --> 47:40.100
I'm not gay. I'm married. I've got three children.
47:40.135 --> 47:41.665
No, we are not. No.
47:41.700 --> 47:45.670
We just sort of decorated ours cars in a distinctive manner.
47:45.705 --> 47:49.237
NASCAR sucks. Country and western is rubbish.
47:49.272 --> 47:51.370
Guess what you are on a hick town, man.
47:51.405 --> 47:52.550
We are gonna die now.
47:52.550 --> 47:55.015
- That's it.
- Don't you dare...
47:55.050 --> 47:58.700
She said she was gonna get the boys.
47:58.735 --> 48:00.900
So we decided to scarper.
48:02.450 --> 48:05.650
I've just remembered I've actually got loads of petrol.
48:10.020 --> 48:12.360
And then, of all the moments,
48:12.395 --> 48:14.700
- Oy, Jump leads.
- You're joking.
48:14.735 --> 48:16.970
- Jump leads.
- Not now!
48:22.100 --> 48:24.200
This is gonna be the quickest jump in history.
48:24.235 --> 48:26.500
Very well, you get the leads I'll start it.
48:27.187 --> 48:30.670
Tell your friend to reject off my parking, I'm getting more people.
48:30.671 --> 48:32.050
The rednecks arrived.
48:33.150 --> 48:35.570
We just got a slight problem here.
48:38.470 --> 48:39.770
This is bad.
48:40.650 --> 48:42.600
Then they turned on the film crews.
48:49.820 --> 48:52.779
Rocks started pelting our vans.
48:53.935 --> 48:56.362
Go! Get out of here!
48:57.100 --> 48:58.670
What's happening?
49:09.270 --> 49:14.100
For the next few moments our TV program became a radio showing.
49:15.884 --> 49:18.292
They're with pick-up trucks.
49:18.327 --> 49:22.450
Can you put your foot down, I think we've got
a load of them on our tail.
49:24.486 --> 49:25.915
Something is going on here.
49:25.950 --> 49:31.170
I'm telling you because these strange trucks that were
in the petrol station have now just torn past us.
49:31.205 --> 49:34.670
We need to get these slogans all flushed.
49:34.705 --> 49:36.350
Pull over, pull over.
49:41.750 --> 49:43.535
Get the other side
49:45.105 --> 49:47.350
Got anything to wipe it off with now?
49:50.655 --> 49:51.718
- There.
- Got it!
49:53.500 --> 49:57.400
With the artwork gone, we hit the road, hard.
50:00.550 --> 50:02.800
Now I'm doing something I never thought I do.
50:02.835 --> 50:04.935
I'm running for the border.
50:04.970 --> 50:07.900
God, I never know that was actually frightening.
50:09.069 --> 50:11.235
They could have killed us.
50:11.270 --> 50:13.965
They really do have an irony deficiency.
50:14.000 --> 50:19.770
I honestly believe that in certain parts of America now,
people have started to mate with vegetables.
50:19.805 --> 50:24.770
And then with one problem behind us,
we ran straight into another.
50:26.095 --> 50:28.137
God! Lightning!
50:28.650 --> 50:31.664
You hear? This is God punishing us.
50:32.001 --> 50:32.754
I'm just...
50:35.070 --> 50:37.320
Did you hear that?
50:42.000 --> 50:47.070
It was a great time to discover that the wipers in
my car were worse than useless.
50:47.105 --> 50:49.970
This is like something out of a horror film now.
50:53.570 --> 50:57.965
I'm in serious trouble, I cannot see a damn thing.
50:58.000 --> 51:03.300
There were no exits and stopping on the hard shoulder
in rain like this would have been suicidal,
51:03.335 --> 51:05.885
so there was only one choice.
51:06.917 --> 51:08.150
You're on the lane. Go right Jeremy.
51:08.185 --> 51:12.020
Yep, now, this is very bad.
51:13.061 --> 51:13.815
Left a bit...
51:14.709 --> 51:18.170
Please stop raining, please stop raining, please stop raining.
51:18.205 --> 51:20.098
You're on the lane. Go right.
51:20.098 --> 51:22.320
I think I am just gonna get out and kill myself,
51:22.355 --> 51:24.370
put myself out of misery
51:24.405 --> 51:27.050
God, help us. It's me.
51:37.320 --> 51:43.120
What with the storm and the rock-throwing rednecks,
our fly-drive holiday wasn't going that well.
51:43.155 --> 51:47.550
I just wanted to get on the big British jet and go home.
51:50.300 --> 51:52.765
I want to be met by a...
51:52.800 --> 51:57.670
homosexual in gray flannel trousers saying: "welcome
onboard Mr. Clarkson, can I get you a scull?"
52:02.750 --> 52:06.850
111 miles till New Orleans. Come on, Camaro.
52:09.520 --> 52:13.420
Yes, that's it. We're in Louisiana.
52:16.100 --> 52:20.050
All we had to do was get there and sell our cars.
52:34.220 --> 52:38.300
And that, actually, would be quite a sad moment.
52:38.335 --> 52:42.000
I love my Cadillac.
52:42.950 --> 52:44.665
I mean, we've known each other like what?
52:44.700 --> 52:49.120
A few days and we've had this fantastic
adventure to get all across America.
52:49.120 --> 52:52.215
And it's my car now, and there are always foibles.
52:52.250 --> 52:56.200
It's not the biggest truck, it's not the fastest, not best looking,
52:56.235 --> 52:59.800
but it just keeps going, it is like a little Welsh pony.
52:59.835 --> 53:01.500
I respect that.
53:02.070 --> 53:04.585
This car really is like living in an old house.
53:04.620 --> 53:08.585
You know to keep the backdoor in a certain way to make it open.
53:08.620 --> 53:12.070
This is the same with this. I know how to keep the power steering going.
53:12.105 --> 53:15.670
I know how to get the best out of what's left of the clutch.
53:15.705 --> 53:18.820
I liked it as a kind of joke when we started but now,
53:18.855 --> 53:21.520
we're like... we're like that.
53:31.220 --> 53:35.150
Of course, there were certain other
problems with selling our cars.
53:35.185 --> 53:40.101
This very very bad Cadillac weave going along
this, straight stretch,
53:40.101 --> 53:42.139
so I'll keep my worry beads to hand...
53:44.070 --> 53:45.122
Relax.
53:53.100 --> 53:57.120
We're in New Orleans and something has come off the Camaro.
53:58.870 --> 54:02.050
Temperature gauge is off the scale. Come on!
54:02.085 --> 54:04.770
Finally though, we made it.
54:09.850 --> 54:12.670
And my word were we in for a shock.
54:17.050 --> 54:20.985
We had seen on the news what Hurricane Katrina had done.
54:21.020 --> 54:24.920
But seeing the devastation for real was truly astonishing.
54:24.955 --> 54:26.200
Oh my God!
54:30.370 --> 54:32.165
Oh, look at that.
54:32.200 --> 54:33.935
Well now, this is extraordinary.
54:33.970 --> 54:37.415
Every house, I've been driving now, what, 15 miles,
54:37.450 --> 54:43.100
there isn't a pavement, there isn't a building,
there isn't anything that isn't smashed.
54:43.135 --> 54:47.500
It's such a vast scale of destruction.
54:48.770 --> 54:52.235
A year had passed since Katrina had blown through and...
54:52.270 --> 54:56.950
we sort of assumed that after 12 months the wealthiest
nation on earth would have fixed it.
54:56.985 --> 54:59.200
But we were wrong.
55:01.270 --> 55:07.120
How can the rest of America sleep at night knowing that this is here?
55:09.270 --> 55:10.965
It certainly gave us a problem:
55:11.000 --> 55:14.300
The original plan had been for us to sell our cars here
55:14.335 --> 55:16.235
and see who can get the most money.
55:16.270 --> 55:20.300
But in the midst of all this, that just seemed... wrong.
55:26.550 --> 55:31.885
We therefore had a con-flat and decided that we
should give our cars away.
55:31.920 --> 55:37.850
So we called a local mission who put us in
touch with some families who lost theirs in Ketrina.
55:37.885 --> 55:40.500
It got an alloy. It's all standard. It's not been messed with anyway.
55:40.535 --> 55:44.370
I met the guy who had it before. It's 150,000 miles and look:
55:44.405 --> 55:45.635
It's like new under there.
55:45.670 --> 55:48.050
- I like it.
- Done. It's yours. Take the truck.
55:48.085 --> 55:49.615
It's yours.
55:49.650 --> 55:52.020
Look after it. It's...it's been a good friend to me.
55:52.055 --> 55:53.985
Alright. I will sure do.
55:54.020 --> 55:57.850
Jeremy did his usual trick of telling it like it is.
55:57.885 --> 56:00.800
Rev counter, not good. Speedo, not good.
56:00.835 --> 56:03.815
Fuel gauge, not good.
56:03.850 --> 56:06.500
Dent on the roof, that was caused by a cow.
56:06.535 --> 56:08.615
As far as driving is concerned,
56:08.650 --> 56:12.970
the engine is brilliant. Gear box, tiptop.
56:13.005 --> 56:15.520
It's a good car. It's all yours.
56:18.800 --> 56:22.270
So, although it hadn't been the most relaxing holiday
56:22.305 --> 56:26.550
It had been a proper boys-own adventure.
56:42.520 --> 56:43.585
And what's more,
56:43.586 --> 56:49.026
we could go home knowing that we'd done a little bit to
help those less forturnate than ourselves.
56:50.770 --> 56:55.650
Well, Richard and I could but James sadly couldn't
even give his car away.
56:57.750 --> 57:02.135
- It's still here.
- A family came around this corner, not 10 minutes ago,
57:02.170 --> 57:05.920
- Oh, thank you. We lost everything in Hurricane Katrina.
- And rejected it.
57:05.955 --> 57:08.370
Do you want a lift to the airport, in my car?
57:08.405 --> 57:12.120
- No. I don't
- No. I will walk. Thank you.
57:15.450 --> 57:18.266
- Hammond, can I borrow the jump leads?
- No.
57:33.820 --> 57:38.920
I reckon if you look on Google Earth you'll be able to
see his car, cause it'll still be there.
57:38.955 --> 57:41.465
Plus, it won't be that hard to see it, either, it's big enough.
57:41.500 --> 57:45.400
No. Ok. So there is no doubt that James lost that challenge.
57:45.435 --> 57:46.915
And equally no doubt that I won.
57:46.950 --> 57:48.750
Hang on. How did you arrive at that?
57:48.785 --> 57:50.965
Well, my Camaro was the fastest,
57:51.000 --> 57:55.400
It had the best brakes, it didn't break down apart
from the wipers... much.
57:55.435 --> 57:56.915
So it was the best.
57:56.950 --> 58:01.570
It wasn't actually quite as easy to give away as
you made out in that film, was it?
58:01.605 --> 58:03.315
Well, I sort of...
58:03.350 --> 58:08.170
Why don't you tell the ladies and gentlemen what happened
after the cameras had been turned off.
58:08.205 --> 58:13.337
Well, a lady came and she said she was a lawyer
representing the Christian mission that we'd gone to.
58:13.372 --> 58:18.470
And she said she'd been promised by one of our researches
a 1991 Camaro, and it was an 89.
58:18.505 --> 58:22.500
and she said that was misrepresentation and she was going to sue me.
58:23.320 --> 58:25.015
It really did happen.
58:25.050 --> 58:27.875
Then she said that if I gave her $20,000 in cash,
58:27.910 --> 58:30.665
she might be able to make the case go away.
58:30.700 --> 58:33.265
And you won't believe what happened to us next.
58:33.300 --> 58:39.200
No. Which was that a very very large pickup turned up
full of heavily armed very burly men,
58:39.235 --> 58:41.115
told us to get off their street.
58:41.150 --> 58:45.600
Yes. So really, we do have 2 Top Gear Top Tips for you tonight.
58:45.635 --> 58:50.150
One: yes, you can buy rather than rent,
58:50.185 --> 58:52.370
and Two: don't go to America!
58:53.720 --> 59:00.309
Top Gear is back to its normal self next week.
So we'll see you then. Thanks for watching. Good night!
59:00.310 --> 59:10.310
TransGear subtitle team
The Sim-Race Federation of China
www.srfc.com.cn
59:11.305 --> 59:17.676
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