All language subtitles for BostonLegal.3.01.Can tWeAllGetALung.EN

Previously on Boston Legal

Shirley kissed me.
She still loves me.

I'm seeing someone
who's dying of lung cancer.

I can't keep going.

“Hands” Espenson,

banking and finance genius,
only don't call him “Hands.”

I've been working very hard
to deal with my Asperger's syndrome.

It's called “friends with benefits.”

I have never had
that kind of friend before.

–Alan, Marlene Stanger.
–A pleasure, Ms Stanger.

We're going to make love.

We're going to get this
out of our system,

and then we will move on.

You want to marry me?

濠虞薯濛 –NSC 濠虞ぜ
(http://club.nate.com/tsm)

蛐纔檜暮
梯繹敕(kim1047@nate.com)

諒觼ら餵
彌摹艙(seedyun@nate.com)

и旋廓羲
譆翕⑷(brit01@nate.com)
QA: ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ

God!

Oh, God, please, no!

I'm in control.
Deep breaths.

You're in control.

License and registration, please.

Mr Espenson, you were driving
in the car pool lane.

That lane's reserved for vehicles
with two or more passengers.

Sir, that is not a person
in your passenger seat.

I'm sorry.
I'll pay the ticket.

Okay, I'm also going to have
to impound the doll.

–What?
–I'm afraid that's the law, sir.

You can't have her.

Sir, please get back in the vehicle.

No, you can't take her!
She's done nothing wrong!

It was all me, my fault!

Sir, please get back in the vehicle.

No!

No, no, no!

All right! Take it easy!

All right, hold him.

No!

We're developing pictures.

We're photography buffs.

Yes, and I hate to interrupt your buffing,

but there's an emergency.

Jerry Espenson is in jail.
Last night he tackled a police officer.

What?

He's totally flipped out.

If you like to watch,
I'm okay with that.

All right, Denny.

Um, have you got a sec?

Yeah, sure. What's up?

Uh, well, the good news is
I'm getting married…

to Daniel Post.
–Wow.

Denise…
–Thanks.

–Congratulations.
–Thank you.

–Denise…
–Thank you.

Thank you, Denny.

Denny! Denny!

Denny…

Denny!
–Denny!

The bad news is Daniel got arrested,

and I was hoping that
you could defend him.

What did he do?

Well, it seems he went out
and bought himself, um…

a lung.

Boston Legal
3x01 Can't We All Get a Lung?

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ORIGINAL AIR DATE
ON ABC: 2006/09/19

It's not that complicated.

I met this guy Tom
at my oncologist's office.

He's got a brainstem tumor.
It's inoperable.

So he had cancer, I had cancer,
and we, we became friends.

As you know, I lost a lung.
Coincidentally, Tom has two.

And even more of a coincidence,
our tissues match.

Gee, what do you know?

Now I'm not gonna need a lung
for a couple years,

but, you know, hey, why put off for tomorrow
what you can transplant today?

And as it turns out, I have all
this extra money lying around,

so I thought I'd help
Tom's daughter with college.

Wow. And these idiot prosecutors
thought you were buying a lung.

By the way, you see the ring?

Holy!

Denise.

Marlene.

–I hear you're getting married.
–I am.

Congratulations.

It must be a relief to have
some financial security.

Does Buzz know?

–Buzz?
–Buzz Lightyear.

Isn't that the nickname for
the Ken Doll with benefits?

Marlene, I'm finding it extremely
difficult not to assault you right now.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Am I being too familiar?

I thought we were girlfriends.

I was hoping the relationship
wouldn't change

when I made partner and you didn't,
but I guess it has.

Oh, well.

Brad, did you hear?
Denise is getting married.

Really?

I, I was going to tell you.

Sometimes it's easier to hear it
from a third party.

That could have hit me.

Alan, I know I was wrong
to drive in the car pool lane.

I stand ready to pay the fine,
but they have no right to take that…

Okay, Jerry.

I want you to take
a big, deep breath.

Oh, God. They're probably
violating her as we speak.

By “her” you mean the doll?

Some men do despicable things to them.

Some men get them specifically for…
sexual purposes.

You can't mean that.

The blow-up dolls advertised
with the lifelike genitalia?

Men get them for sexual purposes?

–You're making fun of me.
–No, Jerry.

This doll is a virgin.

Now the police have her.

You've got to get her back!
That officer was groping her!

That's why I had to take action.

Jerry, I will help you,
but you're talking about a doll.

But I can talk to her.

As inanimate as she may be,
I feel safe with her.

I can talk…
about things.

Okay.

But, Jerry, could we perhaps
get another doll?

No!

As much as I know that
she's not real,

she's real to me.

You need to help, Alan.

She's real to me.

I got a second and third opinion,
and they all say it's inoperable.

I've been through
the whole stages of death thing.

I cried, I begged,
I threw stuff.

I made it to acceptance.

And now you seem to have made it
to the final stage, profiteering.

These nonterminals
have no sense of humor.

My daughter, she wants me
to fight the cancer,

but the thing is, if I do
the chemo and the radiation,

the most I may buy is three
or four really nasty months.

I don't want that.

Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna plead not guilty

and go with your story that this is
just two friends helping each other out.

–Great.
–Except that's probably not gonna work,

so we'll also need to file a motion
to dismiss on Constitutional grounds.

And then hope that
in the Constitution somewhere

it says it's okay to sell your body
parts to the highest bidder.

All right, you wanna marry some
guy, a criminal no less, that's fine,

but to lie to me?
–Don't yell at me!

I did not lie to you.
–Yes, you did.

Denise, we're sleeping together,
and you're engaged.

–Stop yelling at me!
–Don't you think that I deserve some…

–It just happened.
–Oh, it just happened,

you just happened to get engaged?

–Yeah, you know what? Get out!
–So this is the modern-day woman, huh?

She has her friends with benefits
and collects her marriage
proposals on the side?

–Get out!
–You really have it all, don't you?

Yeah, yeah, I really have it all.

I'm in love with a man who is dying.
Lucky, lucky me.

You son of a bitch.

Why didn't you just tell me
that you were seeing him?

Because he was in Switzerland
getting an experimental treatment,

and I didn't think
he was coming back.

I'm sorry that I love him.

I don't want to love him,

but I do.

I've got to get him help.

My God, if you saw the way
he hugged her.

Is she cute?

Denny, it's a doll.

Oh, come on. Don't tell me you've
never gone to town on a doll.

No, as a matter of fact.

Have you?

Denny… –Well, not just any doll.
I'm, I'm not, uh…

uh, what's the word?
–Peculiar.

But I suppose I've been with…

a special doll.

Would I like her?

Do you want to meet her?

She's in the closet.

–Denny, I've been in that closet.
–Not this closet.

I'm the only one with the key
to this closet.

Alan Shore, meet Shirley Schmidtho.

Oh, my God.

This little ho knows how
to please, let me tell you.

You had this custom-made.

Here's the thing
about rich people, Alan.

We get whatever we want.

Shirley Schmidtho.

All rise.
Judge Clark Brown presiding.

–Oh, dear.
–Problem?

Judge Brown, I'm not his favorite.

Be seated.

Ms Schmidt…

I have before me your motion to dismiss
on Constitutional grounds.

Denied.

You better take this.

Your honor, I would ask that you would
reconsider the defense's motion.

I will not.

He wanted to purchase a lung,
and he wanted to sell a lung.

Horrible, horrible
and shocking!

In the interest of fairness, your honor,
it's imperative that you…

No, I'm ruling on your papers.

The law as it stands is Constitutional,

and my decision stands firm.

I am not one of your
activist judges, Ms Bauer.

I follow the law as it is written,

a practice that makes
neither nansy nor pansy.

We will proceed.

I spoke with a few psychologists.

And while they can appreciate
how a person with Asperger's

might find comfort
in an imaginary soul mate…

You're choosing your words carefully.

Why are you talking this way?

When you talk to me like that,
I do not hear your words.

I only hear the pitter-patter of somebody
tiptoeing lightly around a crazy person.

I know she's not real.
I'm not delusional. I just…

I spent a lot of money on it.
That's all.

Jerry, that isn't truthful.

You may not be having sex with it,
but you've completely individualized it.

You call it “her.”
You treat her as a loved one.

You've just described every man's
relationship with his car.

The psychologists tell me as understandable
as your attraction may be,

it isn't healthy.

Have you ever been with
a real woman, sexually?

I think you know the answer
to that question, Alan.

There was a time years ago
when I had some…

difficulty of a certain stripe.

I was referred to a sex therapist,
a surrogate, in fact.

I'd like you to meet with her.
–That's disgusting!

It is not disgusting.
What's more, she helped me enormously.

I believe she could help you.

For God's sake, Jerry,

you're smart enough to realize your disability
with intimacy is profound here.

You need to get help

I was accepted to Penn this spring.

I knew it was out of our price range,
so I contacted the financial aid office.

Did you qualify for financial assistance?

I didn't need to.

My tuition was paid,
all four years in full.

Who paid your tuition, Megan?

It took some digging, but I eventually
learned that it was Daniel Post.

I asked my father who Daniel Post was
and if he knew anything about it.

He said I should be grateful
and to keep it between us.

Then I found the test.

Commonwealth exhibit A.

–Was this the test you discovered?
–Yes, in my dad's desk.

It's a comparison study
between my father and Mr Post.

They're a perfect match for each other.

Megan, why are you here
testifying against your father?

My mother died when I was 6.

My dad is my whole family.

You have to at least try.

Megan, it's clear that you love
your father very, very much,

and he has a tumor in his brain
that cannot be removed.

And there's no getting
around that, is there?

No.

But there's no real evidence

that Daniel Post paid your tuition
in exchange for one of your father's lungs.

There's no contract between them.
Nothing's signed. No receipt.

There's no real proof of a connection
between the two of them, correct?

So they just got typed
and matched for the hell of it?

Megan, your father still has
both of his lungs.

Isn't it possible that Daniel Post
paid your tuition to be nice?

Because he could,
for the daughter of a friend.

Joanna.
My name is Alan Shore.

I'm not sure if you remember me.
–Yes.

How are you, Alan?

I have a matter of great urgency.
I wonder if I could speak with you.

And I'm just afraid
the more isolated he becomes…

I mean, I would imagine men
who bond with dolls,

some kind of intervention has
to take place here.

Alan, I'm retired.

I've remarried,

and my husband has problems
with his wife being a sexual surrogate.

You've retired?

But I can refer you
to several other therapists.

Without even meeting these women,

I know they simply cannot be you.

Well, I suppose I'm flattered.

I mean to connote despair,
not flattery.

My friend is extremely disenfranchised,
both sexually and emotionally,

and time is running out.
He's in his 40s.

His best friend is a doll.

Could you please come out of
retirement for just one case?

I beg you.

I don't want to be alone with her.

Can't I do this over the computer?

No, Jerry, you have to be
in the same room.

I'm not comfortable.
I don't want to be alone with her.

And don't go rushing off to court
trying to get some kind of order.

You can't make me, Alan!

Would it help if Patty went with you?

That'll just make me look
more like a freak.

No, it won't.

How about we both join you,

Patty and I, just for
the initial consultation?

11:30 sounds perfect.
Thank you, Joanna.

You have no idea how grateful I am.

We'll see you then.

You missed your 10 o'clock.

Um, something came up.

Something was supposed to come up
in the closet at 10 o'clock.

I've got a few minutes now if you'd like
to go somewhere and grab a bite.

I'm leaving for New York.

–Now?
–Friday.

I'm transferring
to the New York office.

What?

Why? –I don't feel I'm doing
my best work here.

I assure you, Marlene, you are.

I'll miss you.

Huh? That's it?

You'll miss me?

Dear…

Mr Post, who is Eugene Volokh?

Eugene is a security guard
at my office building.

Why did you write him
a check for $50,000?

Eugene's son is autistic.
He has to go to a special school.

So you just gave him the money?

So in addition to Katrina relief,

the children's hospital of Boston
and a dozen other charities,

you just give money to people
that you meet?

Have you ever asked any of the people
that you've helped for something in return?

–No.
–Not even say, um…

a body part?

Not a one.

Uh, Mr Post, how did you get
to court this morning?

–Car.
–You drove?

–I was driven.
–You have a car and driver?

Let's just stipulate
I'm a rich guy, right?

Rich guys play by different
rules, don't they?

The same rules,
just I have more toys.

You did hear that
I share mine, right?

I did. You're obviously a generous man
and a lucky one.

Except for the whole cancer thing.

Well, but you got the best treatment
money could buy, right?

And then you got yourself into the most
promising drug trial in this country, right?

Along with about 2,000 other people.

You were sued for manipulating
that study to your benefit.

–Uh, the suit went away.
–Because the plaintiff died,

but not before you tried to buy your way
out of the inconvenience of a trial.

And when the study here
at home didn't work,

you just got yourself into
another one in Switzerland, didn't you?

I mean, a man like you, used to
controlling everything in your world…

–Objection!
–Sustained.

I'm just saying, Mr Post,
you've got deep pockets,

and you're able to use them
to get what you want.

And the one lung that you have left,
it's not gonna last forever, is it?

And every time you have
to stop on the street,
and you feel that tightness in your chest,

it reminds you of how vulnerable
you are, doesn't it?

Objection!

Your honor, this trial shouldn't be
about who offered what to whom.

It should be about whether or not
our government has the right to control

what we can and cannot do
with our own bodies…

What you should be able to do
to save your own life.

–Your honor!
–Disregard her.

Judge Brown doesn't want
to hear about these issues,

because they cut a little
too close to the bone.

You see, I did some research,

and it seems judge Brown
is himself a survivor of colon cancer.

But his is treatable.

He could throw a couple of
radioactive seeds in the back door,

and then you don't have to
face the hard truth

about what you would be
willing to do if you were dying.

You know, Jerry, Alan is
very concerned about you.

He thinks your social isolation
is rather extreme.

But the good news is,

it's not.

Many men your age are living alone
these days without partners.

It's become all too common, in fact,

and I've treated many like you,
who prefer dolls.

Mainly they're motivated
by a desire to avoid rejection,

which, when you think about it,

every man fears rejection
from women on some level.

Thank you.

Do you lie in your bed
next to Patricia?

–I do not have sex with her.
–Oh, I believe you.

I believe you.

Because what you're looking for
isn't sex so much

as intimacy in a relationship.

Jerry, I want to have another session
when you and I just lie together.

No sexual touching.
We just lie next to each other.

Oh, I don't know.

It won't be about sex,
but body awareness…

and relaxation.

–Naked?
–Yes.

I wouldn't want you there for that.

Understood.

That didn't go very well.

No, it didn't.

–Are you okay?
–Mm, fine.

A penny for your thoughts?

My thoughts are not for sale,
unlike the rest of…

Ouch.

Yeah.

My father didn't have a lot to leave
when he died,

but he actually executed
something called an ethical will.

Have you heard of them?
–I've drafted them.

He believed that a person's final legacy
shouldn't be so much about his money

as about his character, his values.

Sometimes I wonder what
Daniel's legacy is going to be.

Why don't you ask him?

He'd say that legacies are for dead people,
and he doesn't want to be dead.

I guess that's the only answer
he can live with.

The question is, can you?

How are you feeling?

Fine, thank you.

Before I get into bed,

I'd like to take off my robe,
and I just want you to look at me.

Do you think you can do that?

I'll try.

Could you look at me, Jerry?

See, there's nothing terribly foreign
about the female body, Jerry.

I'm going to climb in
with you now, okay?

Okay.

–How are you feeling?
–I'm afraid.

Would you like me to hold you?

Okay.

Freeze!

Oh, no, no, no!
You can't be in here!

–No, no, no!
–All right, come on, buddy.

–What are you doing?
–No, no, no!

–You can't just barge in here!
–Cuff her. Let's go.

–Let go of them!
–Just one moment, please!

Oh, my God.
God, no!

I am looking for him.

As soon as I find him, I will
get him down to the station. I…

I hear you, Jerry.

Alan!

Oh, come on!

Alan!

What?

You can't blame Daniel Post
for wanting to live.

What's the harm, he asked?

We have many individual liberties
that are dearly cherished in this country.

Equally cherished is the notion

that our law-making bodies
seek to protect the public good.

As a result, we don't have carte blanche
to do whatever we please with our bodies.

Well, Daniel Post decided
that he was above the law.

He figures he doesn't have to play by
the same rules that apply to you and me.

So where's the harm?

And it's not just a matter of anarchy
or the sanctity of the law.

Hundreds of thousands of people
donate their organs every year

so that others might live,

and they count on the system
of distribution to be fair.

If it's not, those organ donations
could stop

or most certainly decline,
and people die.

And that's a harm
he doesn't care about.

I'm hoping that the 12 of you do.

I have a nephew.
He's in college.

During his semester break,

he offered himself as a subject for
medical research in exchange for money.

This is legal.

The woman who lives down the block
from me had her eggs harvested

so that another woman could have a baby.

She did this in exchange for money.

This is legal.

People can sell their hair,
their blood, their sperm.

Legal.

Our nation already embraces the notion

that we have the right
to sell parts of ourselves,

that we are free to make these
kinds of decisions about our own bodies.

Well, sort of.
Certain parts, we have no rights.

But the truth is,

organ sales are happening anyway.

Would, would you like a kidney?

I can get you one in Brazil
for as low as $3,000,

in the Philippines for $1,800.

I can get you an achilles tendon
in South Korea

for anywhere between
$200 and $1,200 dollars.

Why does this black market exist?

Because our current system of organ
donation is woefully failing us.

Sure, you can put your name on a list,

along with 92,000 people who are
left on the list each year.

In the meantime, anyone who can
circumvent that list is doing so.

Families and friends donate directly.

Police and firefighters
have an informal network

where they donate
their organs to each other.

And, and for a stiff monthly fee,

any patient can subscribe
to a donor-matching web site.

And Daniel Post found Tom Raulston.

The Washington DC circuit court
previously found

we have a Constitutional right
to save ourselves.

That's all Daniel Post
was trying to do.

Jerry, I am so, so sorry.

I feel completely responsible,
and I will make this go away.

–I give you my absolute word.
–What happened?

It seems the awful Mr Ginsberg,

our politically ambitious
zealot of a prosecutor,

has begun a citywide crackdown
on a broad assortment of

what he considers
immoral sexual activity,

and somehow you and Joanna
got caught up in it.

But I promise you, Jerry,
this will not stand.

It's prostitution,
pure and simple.

Not prostitution,
it was treatment.

What's more, they didn't even
engage in any sexual activity.

Because they didn't have time.

You bumptious moron!

Your honor, the depravity
of this society

when it comes to sex
has become epidemic.

Somebody has to be a guardian
of decency and…

This depraved society for which you've
anointed yourself decency guardian

spends billions of dollars
on sexual dysfunction.

You can't turn on a cartoon today

without seeing an ad
for erectile dysfunction.

It's one of the fastest-growing
industries in our country,

better sex through chemicals.

I'm not sure I see your point.

My point is, we're cultivating an obsession
with sexual performance,

and while it's perfectly
acceptable to take a pill,

if you seek behavioral therapy,

well, that just goes against everything
we stand for as a pharmaceutical nation.

Well, this man has Asperger's syndrome.

He has a disability

when it comes to establishing
intimate, social, emotional

and yes, sexual relationships.

He sought treatment,

and this pompous buffoon wants
to make a case out of it

to get some face time with Nancy Grace.

I move for an immediate motion to dismiss.
I move for costs,

and I'd ask your honor to sentence
this idiot to sensitivity training,
preferably for life.

All right, I'm gonna take this
under advisement,

and I will rule quickly.

Adjourned.

I am very, very sorry.

I feel so awful.
I've ended up hurting them both.

It'll probably make the news,
compounding their embarrassment.

Alan, face it.
You screwed up,

so all you can do is apologize,

accept responsibility
and check yourself into rehab.

What?

–She's gone.
–Who?

Marlene. She left…
the firm.

No, no, no, she went
to the New York office.

She'll be back.

–This girl mean something to you?
–Don't be silly.

Denny!

There's a rather monstrous rumor
going around

that you customized a doll
in my likeness,

a doll you were caught
having sex with in a closet.

That was him.

I assure you I'm holding out
for the real thing.

Did you have a doll made
in my likeness, Denny?

Come on, Shirley,
you should be flattered.

To be a sexual prop,
that's every woman's dream.

Isn't it?

What's her name?

Sorry? –I'm told she has a name.
What is it?

Oh, that.

Why that's, uh…

Shirley Schmidtho.

I'd like to meet her.

–Well, I don't think that's a very…
–You will bring me the doll.

–This won't be good.
–No.

It's a fluke that you're both
wearing the same outfit.

I know how you women don't like
to see yourselves.

Denny, can you not appreciate
how this degrades me?

Well, I'm just objectifying you
for pleasure.

You truly can't see
how this might humiliate me?

You're jealous?

Here's my problem.

There's no licensing or regulation
of surrogate partners.

As Mr Ginsberg notes,

I suppose any prostitute
could claim she's a surrogate,

but Ms Miller was at one time
a member of the international
professional surrogate association,

and that is a legitimate
and often effective treatment.

Oh, please.

I'm also mindful of the hypocrisy
Mr Shore alluded to earlier.

Big pharmaceutical spends
billions of dollars

cultivating a national obsession
with sexual performance.

We're okay with pushing pills,
but we condemn behavioral treatment?

The charges against Mr Espenson
and Ms Miller are dismissed.

Mr Ginsberg,
I'm sure if you look hard,

you'll be able to find something
better to do with your time.

Adjourned.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

You heard what the judge said
about the treatment being very effective.

I hope you'll see Joanna again.

–Can I think about it?
–Of course. –Okay.

Thank you again, Alan.

My friend.

Thank you.

What's wrong?

Sorry?

You're blue.

Me?

I'm not, actually.

We got the desired result here.

I'm still concerned about any embarrassment
I might have caused you or Jerry.

But I wouldn't describe myself as…

Blue?

Yeah.

There was a girl.
She left.

It's not as if we had any kind
of meaningful relationship,

but I suppose when I was with her,
I could be my…

true, unadulterated self,
which is, as you know…

Degenerate.

These past few years,
I've felt this inexplicable compulsion
to be somewhat redeeming,

as if I were some series regular
on a television show.

Something about Marlene
allowed me to be…

Degenerate.

In addition to your treatment of Jerry,

do you think you could maybe
squeeze me in?

How about we measure you
for some trousers?

Defendant will please rise.

Madam foreperson, the jury has
reached a unanimous verdict?

–We have.
–What say you?

“In the matter of the Commonwealth
vs Daniel Post”

“on the charge of violating
the uniform anatomical gift act,”

“we find the defendant,”

“not guilty.”

Wow.

Are you gonna talk to me at all?

Do you still love me?
Because I still love you.

All right, tell you what.

You know that, that new fur coat
in the window of Bergdorf Goodman's?

I'll buy you Bergdorf Goodman's.

Daniel…

I think I fell in love
with most of you.

Well, I can live with that.

It's just the rest of this stuff,
I, um…

I need some time.

Well, you know what?
That, that works out, too, because, uh…

Tom and I are gonna be going
on a little vacation.

For how long?

Five, six weeks.

Uh, where?

Probably best you don't know.

Right.

What do you mean, she's
measuring you for trousers?

Is that some kind of fetish?

Would I like it?

My mother wasn't a particularly
doting woman, Denny.

She never held me much or…

except every Fall before
the school year began, she'd…

prepare my school clothes,
measure me for my pants,

the hems and so forth.

I'd stand there, her hand would be
on my leg, my seam…

You had a thing for your mother.

It wasn't sexual.

Her touch was just…

I guess, loving.

One of the reasons
I buy so many suits, I think.

While the tailors do what they do,

I suppose it reminds me of the times

in my childhood I allowed myself
to feel cared for.

Now Joanna…

the way she would touch me,

running her fingers up the inseam
and around in the back, here and there,

it did become erotic.

Getting measured for pants.

It's not entirely about sex, Denny.

It's about being touched in…

gentle, intimate ways.

I suppose I'm starved for a little
tenderness sometimes.

I'm never taking you fishing again.

Do you ever get lonely, Denny?

What's with all this deep thinking?

It's a simple question.
Do you ever get lonely?

Do you?

No.

You?

No.

I guess we're both lucky that way.

濠虞薯濛 –NSC 濠虞ぜ
(http://club.nate.com/tsm)