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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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Thanks for meeting, all right?
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I know everyone's busy,
and we've been trying
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to make this happen for a while.
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The reason you're all here
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00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:17,560
is because I am a big
fan of your content.
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One of you has the chance to be
our next new breakthrough star
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00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:26,527
of our "Based on a True Story" spinoff.
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Now, I'm looking for someone
that America can relate to.
10
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We need a sad story...
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00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,243
maybe cancer, maybe a dead sister.
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Just think, like, "American Idol."
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Go.
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My parents died in a car accident.
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- Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- I have diabetes.
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My mom abused me.
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Me too. Me too.
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Yeah, well, I mean, guys,
no surprise there, right?
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If, uh... hey, I am so sorry.
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One second.
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Oh, hey, how are you?
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- You fuck!
- You fucking psychopath!
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We've been calling you for an hour.
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- What is wrong with you?
- Why aren't you picking up?
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We called you ten times in an hour.
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Guys, guys, guys, one at
a time, please, people.
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Okay. You said you
weren't gonna kill anyone.
28
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Uh, no.
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What I think I said was, I
wasn't gonna kill Michelle.
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Oh, my God!
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I don't want to use the word "hero,"
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but she was gonna turn you in.
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- What?
- How do you know that?
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You don't know that.
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How do you think I know, Nathan?
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She told me.
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She called the cops.
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Oh, that's bullshit.
You... you know what?
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We can't believe a word
that you fucking say, Matt.
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That's the thing.
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Why did you frame me with the dart?
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Yeah!
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We're supposed to be partners.
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Nathan, if I wanted to frame you,
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I'd have dumped her body on
Sunset Boulevard, all right?
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I just want you to know
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that I could frame you if I ever wanted.
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Okay, here's what you're gonna do.
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You're gonna get your ass over here,
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and you're gonna clean this up.
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Uh... oh, you mean the body?
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Yeah, no.
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That's on you guys.
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What... uh, I'm sorry.
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We're not gonna dispose
of Ruby's fucking body.
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- Are you out of your mind?
- All right,
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but, uh, she's gonna start
to stink up the place,
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and your new fancy Malibu neighbors
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are gonna be up your ass.
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All right, I'm back.
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So sorry.
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Any more trauma? Keep it coming.
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- Fucker!
- Okay. He can't hear us.
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Just call him back. Call him back.
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- Okay, okay.
- Oh, my God.
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Oh, my God.
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Guys, keep 'em coming.
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Write 'em down.
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I'll be one sec.
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Hello.
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- Um, we can't...
- No, we can't do this.
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Please, you have to come help us.
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- We can't do this.
- Please, Matt, please. Please.
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Ah, Jesus Christ.
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It's like dealing with children.
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All right, fine.
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Meet me at your place in an hour.
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Our place? No, we're not...
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we're not meeting at our
place. Absolutely not, no.
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It's totally cool.
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I'll just... I'll hang with Tory.
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- What?
- Uh, no.
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- No.
- You will not hang with Tory.
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Don't be late. Bring the body.
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Oh, my God.
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We're fucked.
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Okay.
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She's gonna be okay.
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He's not gonna do anything.
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- Try her again.
- I'm calling.
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Hi, it's Tory. Leave a message.
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Voice mail again. Oh, my God.
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- He's gonna kill her.
- He's not.
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Don't say that.
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He's not gonna... he's not
going to kill her, okay?
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He's gonna kill her.
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Move!
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- Got the keys?
- Yeah. Let's go.
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Okay. Okay.
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Okay, okay. All right.
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Come on.
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- Tory.
- Tory?
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00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:01,993
- Tory? Hey.
- Tory.
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Tory.
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00:04:03,161 --> 00:04:05,413
Surprise!
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Happy anniversary!
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- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. Hi.
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- Oh, my God, hi!
- Hey.
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Are you surprised?
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- Yes!
- Ah, what a surprise.
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- How you doing, buddy?
- Hey.
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Oh, my God, yes, I almost gave birth.
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- We got you so good.
- We got you good.
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Okay, wait, get together.
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Smile.
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Cute. Say "ten years."
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- Yeah, you can frame that.
- Cute.
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Oh, my God.
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I don't know what he
said to get you guys here,
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but he guaranteed it
would be on the dot.
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I kept my promise, right?
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What did he say to you guys?
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- Oh, you don't want to know.
- Yeah.
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- It was crazy.
- It was crazy.
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- Yeah. Yeah.
- We had to race here.
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You know what?
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You're gonna get me back.
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We sure are, yeah.
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I have to pee.
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- Guys...
- Yes.
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- Thank you.
- And then this is gonna be...
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we're gonna party.
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What a night we're gonna have here.
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Thank you, everybody, for coming.
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I'm gonna be right back.
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- Oh, hi. Look at you.
- Hey, great to see you.
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What are we gonna do?
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We act normal.
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- Oh, act normal.
- Yeah.
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Okay, cool.
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Act normal with Ruby's fucking
body in the trunk of our car?
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Fucking nuts.
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How did he know?
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How did he know that she knew?
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I have no idea.
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- Like, I...
- Hey, guys.
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Get out there right now
and take care of the body.
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Hey, it's a party.
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Get your ass out there right
now and fucking fix this.
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Guys, I really think
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you need to fix this yourselves.
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Yeah? And when you do... bonus...
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I figured out how we
can protect the spinoff
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- from the woke police.
- What?
155
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We're gonna make the spinoff inclusive.
156
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Okay, I can't talk about this right now.
157
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Hey, would you just hear me out?
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Thank you.
159
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Right, so what we're gonna do is,
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we're gonna give a voice
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to the marginalized serial killers...
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the BIPOC killers, the disabled killers.
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We are gonna take their voice,
and we're gonna raise it up.
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- Marginalized serial killers?
- Mm-hmm.
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Are you fucking insane?
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Where would you even find those people?
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We have a chat room.
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It's kind of like an affinity group.
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Huh, 'cause it kind of sounds
like a forum for terrible people.
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It's a safe space where people
can trade stories, talk craft.
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Dead body right in the fucking driveway.
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You have lost your mind.
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Really?
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Because I've already had some Zooms,
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and the response is amazing.
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Oh, my God, you've...
you've had some Zooms?
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That's so great.
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Did you guys also make
some TikTok videos,
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you and your little killer friends?
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Do a little couple dances together?
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Let me tell you something.
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There's not gonna be a spinoff.
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There's not gonna be a universe.
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- Nothing.
- All right, fine, fine.
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00:06:23,259 --> 00:06:25,344
All right, fine. Fine.
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00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:26,387
- You don't have to do it.
- Great.
187
00:06:26,388 --> 00:06:27,388
- All right.
- Fantastic.
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00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,388
Yeah, I don't need you.
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I'll do it on my own.
190
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- What?
- What?
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The hell you will.
192
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This was my idea. I
created this podcast.
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I am the podcast.
194
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,152
- Hey, guys?
- Hey, Tory.
195
00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:42,194
Hey, Tor.
196
00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:43,279
Hi.
197
00:06:43,321 --> 00:06:45,156
Um, someone crashed the party.
198
00:06:45,198 --> 00:06:46,324
What?
199
00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:55,291
Hey, here's the happy couple.
200
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,587
Can I talk to you outside?
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00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:00,630
Yeah.
202
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,133
Sure.
203
00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:16,562
I don't know what you're doing here.
204
00:07:16,563 --> 00:07:17,563
- Yeah.
- You weren't invited.
205
00:07:17,564 --> 00:07:20,483
I know. I know, and
look, I totally get it.
206
00:07:20,525 --> 00:07:22,443
I just thought that we've
been friends so long...
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00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:24,570
Give me a fucking break.
You shot my dog, Simon.
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00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:25,696
No, I know.
209
00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:27,657
And I am really, really sorry.
210
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,117
Are you sorry you put a gun to my head?
211
00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,576
Sorry about that?
212
00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,412
I can't even believe that I did that.
213
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:34,455
- It's like...
- The fuck is wrong with you?
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00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:35,790
I think I just fucking lost it.
215
00:07:35,832 --> 00:07:38,876
And this whole open marriage bullshit,
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00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,838
it's just... it's just been
eating away at me, Nathan.
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00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,841
And I... I just... like, I...
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00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,759
I think I was just doing it to be cool.
219
00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:48,136
And I'm not.
220
00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,178
It's just not me.
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00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:50,263
I don't care.
222
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,140
Thank God Ruby and I worked it out.
223
00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:55,101
You worked it out?
224
00:07:55,143 --> 00:07:57,145
Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're doing great.
225
00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:59,814
Just had to hit reset,
and she's gonna come here.
226
00:07:59,856 --> 00:08:01,149
She'll tell you.
227
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:02,984
But we're not gonna fuck
around on each other.
228
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:05,528
We got a new dog, Duke Jr.
229
00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:06,988
Are you kidding me? Duke Jr.?
230
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,073
You can't just pretend
this didn't happen.
231
00:08:09,115 --> 00:08:10,283
- Oh...
- You shouldn't be here.
232
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:11,701
- You weren't invited.
- Okay, I get it.
233
00:08:11,743 --> 00:08:13,161
- You should leave, okay?
- No...
234
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,662
'Cause I'm starting to get
really fucking pissed off,
235
00:08:14,663 --> 00:08:15,663
- Simon.
- Okay, no, no, no, no, no.
236
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,165
Let me make this up to you.
237
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,709
Uh, I'll get a house in Belize,
238
00:08:19,751 --> 00:08:22,128
and we'll get the whole gang
together, you know? We'll...
239
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:25,006
Yeah, that's the thing about you, Simon.
240
00:08:25,048 --> 00:08:28,676
You think you're better
than me, but you're not.
241
00:08:36,392 --> 00:08:39,812
- You hear that?
- No.
242
00:08:39,854 --> 00:08:41,814
- Is that a phone?
- What?
243
00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:43,483
I don't hear anything.
244
00:08:48,029 --> 00:08:49,530
That... there's a phone.
245
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,074
- It's, uh...
- I don't think so.
246
00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:54,077
Maybe it's coming
from across the street?
247
00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:55,495
No, it's definitely not.
248
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,913
It's definitely, uh...
249
00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:01,375
it's definitely coming from in here.
250
00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:04,003
Yeah. Let's open it.
251
00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:05,588
- You got the keys?
- They're inside.
252
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:06,964
Hey, don't worry about it.
253
00:09:07,006 --> 00:09:08,549
Whoa, what if somebody's trapped inside?
254
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,385
- Get the keys.
- Hey, hey, look.
255
00:09:11,386 --> 00:09:12,845
You know what?
256
00:09:12,887 --> 00:09:14,847
Let's put that stuff in the past, okay?
257
00:09:14,889 --> 00:09:16,391
You and I are cool.
258
00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:18,184
- Come back inside.
- Really?
259
00:09:18,226 --> 00:09:20,978
Yeah, we are... we're totally cool.
260
00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:22,146
Let's put it behind us.
261
00:09:22,188 --> 00:09:23,189
Oh.
262
00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:25,400
I've done some crazy shit too.
263
00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:26,859
Yeah.
264
00:09:30,405 --> 00:09:31,864
What about the prenatal classes?
265
00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:33,241
- How are they?
- You know what?
266
00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:34,492
I never went.
267
00:09:34,534 --> 00:09:35,534
- Girl...
- Yeah, no.
268
00:09:35,535 --> 00:09:36,869
But it's, like, showtime.
269
00:09:36,911 --> 00:09:39,038
Well, um, kind of. Not really.
270
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,165
Well, look, has anyone
told you about the guy?
271
00:09:41,207 --> 00:09:42,750
- The who?
- The shit guy.
272
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:44,585
- The shit guy.
- The what?
273
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:45,878
No, I mean, you're
gonna shit on the table,
274
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,213
- and that's okay.
- Okay, quiet.
275
00:09:47,255 --> 00:09:49,048
- He's gonna wipe it...
- Okay, guys, you know...
276
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:51,968
And the diapers, the
big, giant vagina diapers.
277
00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:53,344
- Oh, huge.
- All right,
278
00:09:53,386 --> 00:09:54,429
you know what, guys? Maybe
we can stop talking...
279
00:09:54,429 --> 00:09:55,555
With the ice inside.
280
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,265
It's like a snowman is going down you.
281
00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:59,684
Your pussy is gonna be
on ice for weeks, months.
282
00:09:59,726 --> 00:10:01,227
Well, this is a great party.
283
00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:02,895
You got a guy in the kitchen
putting edibles up his ass.
284
00:10:02,937 --> 00:10:04,480
- Right up his ass.
- Oh, my God.
285
00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:06,566
I would do that.
286
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,192
Uh, give me one second, okay?
287
00:10:08,234 --> 00:10:09,902
Bye.
288
00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:11,320
We're not ready for this, baby.
289
00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:12,739
Ruby's phone is ringing in the trunk.
290
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:13,823
What?
291
00:10:13,865 --> 00:10:15,575
Yes, come on.
292
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,076
Seriously?
293
00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:20,037
You left her phone in
her pocket in the car?
294
00:10:20,079 --> 00:10:21,372
- Are you nuts?
- I'm sorry.
295
00:10:21,414 --> 00:10:22,915
It's my first time
dealing with a dead body.
296
00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:25,084
Oh, my God.
297
00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,419
Oh, God, I can't look at her.
298
00:10:28,004 --> 00:10:30,506
Okay, how do you turn
this fucking thing off?
299
00:10:30,548 --> 00:10:31,799
Don't turn it off.
300
00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:33,843
The cops can fucking track us.
301
00:10:33,885 --> 00:10:35,094
I'm sure this thing has been pinging
302
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:36,763
every cell tower since we left Malibu.
303
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,014
We'll deal with that later.
304
00:10:38,056 --> 00:10:39,474
We have to see if Matt's
telling us the truth.
305
00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:40,683
Okay.
306
00:10:40,725 --> 00:10:41,726
Well, do you have the code?
307
00:10:41,768 --> 00:10:43,102
Uh, no.
308
00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:44,312
All right, well, what do you want to do?
309
00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,439
Oh, my God.
310
00:10:46,481 --> 00:10:47,523
Uh...
311
00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:49,067
okay, okay.
312
00:10:49,108 --> 00:10:52,153
Just, uh... oh, my God,
move her face towards me.
313
00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:53,905
Okay.
314
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:57,325
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
315
00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:58,743
- Oh, it worked.
- It worked.
316
00:10:58,785 --> 00:11:01,079
Okay. All right, I'm gonna
check if anyone's called.
317
00:11:03,122 --> 00:11:04,499
Uh, unknown caller.
318
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,292
There's a voice mail seven minutes ago.
319
00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:08,711
- Play it.
- Okay. Okay.
320
00:11:08,753 --> 00:11:11,297
Now, this is a message for Ruby Gale.
321
00:11:11,339 --> 00:11:13,257
Detective Quincy Burrell of the LAPD
322
00:11:13,299 --> 00:11:15,468
Westside Ripper Task
Force returning your call.
323
00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:17,303
- Oh, my God.
- It sounds like you have
324
00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:18,388
- very relevant information.
- Shit.
325
00:11:18,429 --> 00:11:20,306
She did call! She was gonna turn us in!
326
00:11:20,306 --> 00:11:21,641
Here's my personal cell.
327
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:22,892
310-700...
328
00:11:22,934 --> 00:11:24,102
What did she tell them?
329
00:11:24,143 --> 00:11:25,937
- Fuck.
- 5647.
330
00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:27,814
Fucking mother... relevant information?
331
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,274
What kind of fucking relevant
information do they have?
332
00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:32,819
She was gonna make baby an orphan.
333
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,862
What are you guys doing?
334
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:36,864
Hey.
335
00:11:36,906 --> 00:11:38,491
Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off.
336
00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:41,369
Yeah, we're coming!
337
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,250
Okay, speech time.
338
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,169
Everybody come in from
the kitchen, please.
339
00:11:50,211 --> 00:11:52,755
God, I love a speech.
340
00:11:54,132 --> 00:11:56,050
You know, you're a fucking asshole.
341
00:11:56,092 --> 00:11:58,386
You left the fucking
phone on her on purpose.
342
00:11:58,428 --> 00:11:59,470
Yeah.
343
00:11:59,512 --> 00:12:00,638
I wanted to throw you in the deep end,
344
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:01,931
see if you could swim.
345
00:12:01,973 --> 00:12:03,141
Guys, shut the fuck up.
346
00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:04,600
Simon was out there.
347
00:12:04,642 --> 00:12:05,685
What if he saw something?
348
00:12:05,727 --> 00:12:07,228
What if he knows her fucking ringtone?
349
00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:09,147
Well, then we take care of Simon.
350
00:12:10,356 --> 00:12:11,941
When does this end?
351
00:12:11,983 --> 00:12:14,610
Well, that's the beauty of it.
352
00:12:14,652 --> 00:12:16,446
Never ends.
353
00:12:17,739 --> 00:12:21,117
All right, okay.
354
00:12:21,159 --> 00:12:24,746
So I don't really know
if anybody knows this,
355
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:30,126
but Ava and Nathan
kind of saved my life.
356
00:12:30,168 --> 00:12:35,048
Um, our mom died when I was 10,
357
00:12:35,089 --> 00:12:39,343
and Ava was living out here with Nathan.
358
00:12:39,385 --> 00:12:45,099
And I got stuck with my dad
and step-monster in Chicago,
359
00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:49,729
and I kind of wanted
to blow my brains out.
360
00:12:49,771 --> 00:12:52,690
So I called Ava,
361
00:12:52,732 --> 00:12:57,070
and she drove cross-country,
362
00:12:57,111 --> 00:13:01,324
picked me up, and brought me here.
363
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:05,530
She and Nathan gave me a life and a home
364
00:13:05,531 --> 00:13:08,550
and a family.
365
00:13:09,707 --> 00:13:14,295
You guys always looked out for me,
366
00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:20,176
and that baby is so lucky
to have you guys as parents.
367
00:13:20,218 --> 00:13:22,178
Seriously.
368
00:13:22,220 --> 00:13:23,429
Am I right?
369
00:13:23,471 --> 00:13:26,015
Yes.
370
00:13:26,057 --> 00:13:27,475
I love you.
371
00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:28,851
Love you.
372
00:13:28,893 --> 00:13:31,270
Thank you.
373
00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:37,312
Happy 10-year anniversary
to Ava and Nathan.
374
00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:39,737
To Ava and Nathan.
375
00:13:39,779 --> 00:13:41,072
Ow, ow!
376
00:13:41,114 --> 00:13:43,032
All right, let's party.
377
00:13:43,074 --> 00:13:44,534
- Bye. Thank you.
- Yeah, take care.
378
00:13:44,575 --> 00:13:46,411
Thank you. Hey, buddy.
Thanks... thanks for coming.
379
00:13:46,452 --> 00:13:47,912
- Bye. Thank you so much.
- Oh, buddy.
380
00:13:47,954 --> 00:13:49,914
Bye. Too many ass gummies.
381
00:13:49,956 --> 00:13:51,124
They are really kicking in now.
382
00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:52,208
- Wow.
- Nathan.
383
00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:53,543
- You okay to drive?
- Yep.
384
00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:55,837
We'll see.
385
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,088
All right.
386
00:13:57,130 --> 00:13:58,881
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
387
00:13:58,923 --> 00:14:00,925
Guys?
388
00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:03,219
I got you an anniversary present.
389
00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:24,615
Have fun.
390
00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:35,668
Okay.
391
00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:37,295
Okay. Come on, let's go.
392
00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:14,373
Thank God for the pickleballers.
393
00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:34,394
Are you sure this is okay?
394
00:15:34,435 --> 00:15:38,523
Yeah, they're gonna cement it tomorrow.
395
00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:41,359
Cameras haven't worked here
in years, so it's perfect.
396
00:15:49,951 --> 00:15:52,537
How come we never talk about the baby?
397
00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:55,039
We talk about the baby.
398
00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:57,583
Uh, no, we don't.
399
00:15:57,625 --> 00:16:00,712
We haven't even bought
anything for this little human.
400
00:16:00,753 --> 00:16:03,089
I mean, we don't have a stroller
401
00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:05,425
or car seats, diapers... nothing.
402
00:16:05,466 --> 00:16:08,094
Don't you think that's
a little bit weird?
403
00:16:08,136 --> 00:16:11,055
I guess.
404
00:16:11,097 --> 00:16:13,141
Uh...
405
00:16:13,182 --> 00:16:14,475
I mean, I'm super excited.
406
00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:21,232
But I'm fucking terrified.
407
00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,861
Yeah, me too.
408
00:16:27,613 --> 00:16:31,743
I just want to be a good dad.
409
00:16:31,784 --> 00:16:34,579
I don't wanna let you down.
410
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:37,081
You could never let me down.
411
00:16:37,123 --> 00:16:39,751
Ava, come on, you've been...
412
00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:41,627
you've been so excited
these last few months.
413
00:16:41,669 --> 00:16:45,590
You're so... you're so alive.
414
00:16:45,631 --> 00:16:48,134
It's because we're finally
getting somewhere, right?
415
00:16:48,176 --> 00:16:49,385
Yeah, but for me,
416
00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:51,095
it was never about getting somewhere.
417
00:16:51,137 --> 00:16:54,474
It was about being together,
418
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:57,185
connecting again like
we used to, you know?
419
00:16:57,226 --> 00:17:00,063
That's literally all I ever wanted.
420
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,900
That's all I wanted.
421
00:17:08,446 --> 00:17:09,489
Let's do this.
422
00:17:15,286 --> 00:17:16,954
Wow.
423
00:17:19,582 --> 00:17:21,459
Oh, God, good job.
424
00:17:37,058 --> 00:17:42,188
You know, we... we met at
a party for Taylor Lautner.
425
00:17:42,230 --> 00:17:43,856
We were so young.
426
00:17:43,898 --> 00:17:46,025
She was just, like, the
coolest girl in the room.
427
00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:47,527
Everyone wanted to be around her,
428
00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:49,612
but we just... I don't know.
429
00:17:49,654 --> 00:17:53,825
We just, like, bonded and sat
in a corner and drank all night.
430
00:17:53,866 --> 00:17:57,078
And she was the most
adorable, the most fun.
431
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,122
And the one that was gonna turn us in.
432
00:18:05,378 --> 00:18:06,921
Hey, where's the dart?
433
00:18:09,132 --> 00:18:11,718
Ahh!
434
00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:13,219
Ahh!
435
00:18:13,261 --> 00:18:14,387
Fuck!
436
00:18:14,429 --> 00:18:16,264
Oh, God!
437
00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:17,348
No, don't!
438
00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:20,017
Ahh!
439
00:18:23,104 --> 00:18:25,148
Nathan?
440
00:18:26,899 --> 00:18:28,901
Ruby, no, no. Ruby, no, please!
441
00:18:28,943 --> 00:18:30,570
Ruby, Ruby, please. I'm so sorry.
442
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:32,238
- Please, please.
- Oh, please don't.
443
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,240
Ruby, I'm so sorry.
Ruby, no, no, no, no, no.
444
00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:35,408
Ruby, no, no, no, please.
445
00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:37,243
Please, please, my baby.
446
00:18:37,285 --> 00:18:38,995
Fuck the baby.
447
00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:40,621
Ah!
448
00:18:41,164 --> 00:18:43,583
Yes! Yes!
449
00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:48,171
The hot bitch wins for fucking once!
450
00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:49,464
And you know what?
451
00:18:49,505 --> 00:18:51,632
I'm gonna create my own podcast,
452
00:18:51,674 --> 00:18:53,384
and it's gonna be called
453
00:18:53,426 --> 00:18:55,762
"How My Shitty-Ass Friends Protected
454
00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:59,390
a Fucking Serial Killer
and Ended Up in a Ditch
455
00:18:59,432 --> 00:19:01,476
Instead of Me," okay?
456
00:19:01,517 --> 00:19:04,812
Fuck you!
457
00:19:08,816 --> 00:19:10,818
She looks so peaceful.
458
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,115
Oh, God, oh, God.
459
00:19:17,325 --> 00:19:19,035
Okay.
460
00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,047
Anything else you want to say?
461
00:19:31,089 --> 00:19:33,800
Yeah, hurry up.
462
00:19:33,841 --> 00:19:36,135
We got a lot of cleanup to do.
463
00:20:51,377 --> 00:20:52,378
How long have we got?
464
00:20:52,420 --> 00:20:53,713
I don't know.
465
00:20:53,755 --> 00:20:55,506
They're having a sexy hotel night.
466
00:20:55,548 --> 00:20:57,383
That's perfect.
467
00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:03,598
Hey, we've gotta tell them sometime.
468
00:21:03,639 --> 00:21:05,433
We will.
469
00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:13,024
Oh, God, this dress.
470
00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:18,196
What about the name Jack for a boy?
471
00:21:18,237 --> 00:21:21,032
- I like that.
- I know. I do too.
472
00:21:21,074 --> 00:21:23,743
It's, like, very old-school,
rock and roll, classic.
473
00:21:23,785 --> 00:21:25,078
- What up, Jack?
- Yeah.
474
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:26,812
- Hey, what's up, Jack?
- What's up, Jack?
475
00:21:26,954 --> 00:21:28,748
- Jack Nicholson.
- That's a cool kid.
476
00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:30,458
Jack Kerouac, Jack London.
477
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:31,667
- Like it.
- Yeah.
478
00:21:31,709 --> 00:21:33,586
Mm-hmm.
479
00:21:33,628 --> 00:21:35,380
And what if it's a girl?
480
00:21:35,421 --> 00:21:37,632
I like the name Ellie.
481
00:21:37,673 --> 00:21:38,716
Oh, Ellie.
482
00:21:38,858 --> 00:21:39,858
Do you like that one?
483
00:21:39,859 --> 00:21:42,862
Ellie or Jack.
484
00:21:42,904 --> 00:21:43,946
I love it.
485
00:21:43,988 --> 00:21:47,116
Yeah, me too. It's sweet.
486
00:21:51,245 --> 00:21:53,706
Oh...
487
00:21:53,748 --> 00:21:55,458
whose blood is that?
488
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:05,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
489
00:22:55,226 --> 00:22:57,311
Nice shot, Dad.
33438
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