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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 2 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,551 Thanks for meeting, all right? 3 00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:10,386 I know everyone's busy, and we've been trying 4 00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:12,221 to make this happen for a while. 5 00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:14,015 The reason you're all here 6 00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:17,560 is because I am a big fan of your content. 7 00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:23,232 One of you has the chance to be our next new breakthrough star 8 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:26,527 of our "Based on a True Story" spinoff. 9 00:00:26,569 --> 00:00:29,322 Now, I'm looking for someone that America can relate to. 10 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,199 We need a sad story... 11 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,243 maybe cancer, maybe a dead sister. 12 00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:36,537 Just think, like, "American Idol." 13 00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:37,705 Go. 14 00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:39,165 My parents died in a car accident. 15 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:40,333 - Ooh, ooh, ooh. - I have diabetes. 16 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,043 My mom abused me. 17 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,461 Me too. Me too. 18 00:00:43,503 --> 00:00:45,922 Yeah, well, I mean, guys, no surprise there, right? 19 00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,966 If, uh... hey, I am so sorry. 20 00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:50,676 One second. 21 00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:52,929 Oh, hey, how are you? 22 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,222 - You fuck! - You fucking psychopath! 23 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,640 We've been calling you for an hour. 24 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:56,766 - What is wrong with you? - Why aren't you picking up? 25 00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:58,351 We called you ten times in an hour. 26 00:00:58,393 --> 00:01:00,853 Guys, guys, guys, one at a time, please, people. 27 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:03,523 Okay. You said you weren't gonna kill anyone. 28 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,982 Uh, no. 29 00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:08,194 What I think I said was, I wasn't gonna kill Michelle. 30 00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,737 Oh, my God! 31 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,531 I don't want to use the word "hero," 32 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,450 but she was gonna turn you in. 33 00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:16,035 - What? - How do you know that? 34 00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,286 You don't know that. 35 00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:18,329 How do you think I know, Nathan? 36 00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:19,414 She told me. 37 00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:20,790 She called the cops. 38 00:01:20,832 --> 00:01:22,458 Oh, that's bullshit. You... you know what? 39 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:23,876 We can't believe a word that you fucking say, Matt. 40 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:24,961 That's the thing. 41 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,129 Why did you frame me with the dart? 42 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,213 Yeah! 43 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,506 We're supposed to be partners. 44 00:01:28,548 --> 00:01:29,716 Nathan, if I wanted to frame you, 45 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:32,342 I'd have dumped her body on Sunset Boulevard, all right? 46 00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:33,511 I just want you to know 47 00:01:33,553 --> 00:01:35,722 that I could frame you if I ever wanted. 48 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,140 Okay, here's what you're gonna do. 49 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,391 You're gonna get your ass over here, 50 00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:40,184 and you're gonna clean this up. 51 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:42,311 Uh... oh, you mean the body? 52 00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:43,813 Yeah, no. 53 00:01:43,855 --> 00:01:45,022 That's on you guys. 54 00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:46,399 What... uh, I'm sorry. 55 00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:48,651 We're not gonna dispose of Ruby's fucking body. 56 00:01:48,693 --> 00:01:49,986 - Are you out of your mind? - All right, 57 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:52,488 but, uh, she's gonna start to stink up the place, 58 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:55,158 and your new fancy Malibu neighbors 59 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:58,077 are gonna be up your ass. 60 00:01:58,119 --> 00:01:59,620 All right, I'm back. 61 00:01:59,621 --> 00:02:00,621 So sorry. 62 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,498 Any more trauma? Keep it coming. 63 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,583 - Fucker! - Okay. He can't hear us. 64 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:04,624 Just call him back. Call him back. 65 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,170 - Okay, okay. - Oh, my God. 66 00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:08,588 Oh, my God. 67 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:09,839 Guys, keep 'em coming. 68 00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:10,881 Write 'em down. 69 00:02:10,882 --> 00:02:11,966 I'll be one sec. 70 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:13,926 Hello. 71 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,511 - Um, we can't... - No, we can't do this. 72 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:17,096 Please, you have to come help us. 73 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:18,473 - We can't do this. - Please, Matt, please. Please. 74 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,516 Ah, Jesus Christ. 75 00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:22,268 It's like dealing with children. 76 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,770 All right, fine. 77 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,980 Meet me at your place in an hour. 78 00:02:26,022 --> 00:02:27,022 Our place? No, we're not... 79 00:02:27,023 --> 00:02:29,192 we're not meeting at our place. Absolutely not, no. 80 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,526 It's totally cool. 81 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:33,404 I'll just... I'll hang with Tory. 82 00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:34,572 - What? - Uh, no. 83 00:02:34,614 --> 00:02:36,866 - No. - You will not hang with Tory. 84 00:02:36,908 --> 00:02:40,286 Don't be late. Bring the body. 85 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:43,164 Oh, my God. 86 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,458 We're fucked. 87 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,837 Okay. 88 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,356 She's gonna be okay. 89 00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:09,440 He's not gonna do anything. 90 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:27,083 - Try her again. - I'm calling. 91 00:03:28,543 --> 00:03:30,712 Hi, it's Tory. Leave a message. 92 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:32,255 Voice mail again. Oh, my God. 93 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,840 - He's gonna kill her. - He's not. 94 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,091 Don't say that. 95 00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,093 He's not gonna... he's not going to kill her, okay? 96 00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:38,136 He's gonna kill her. 97 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:39,470 Move! 98 00:03:50,732 --> 00:03:51,858 - Got the keys? - Yeah. Let's go. 99 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,401 Okay. Okay. 100 00:03:53,443 --> 00:03:55,653 Okay, okay. All right. 101 00:03:55,695 --> 00:03:56,729 Come on. 102 00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:00,616 - Tory. - Tory? 103 00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:01,993 - Tory? Hey. - Tory. 104 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,119 Tory. 105 00:04:03,161 --> 00:04:05,413 Surprise! 106 00:04:05,455 --> 00:04:08,332 Happy anniversary! 107 00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:10,209 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. Hi. 108 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,211 - Oh, my God, hi! - Hey. 109 00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:13,254 Are you surprised? 110 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,922 - Yes! - Ah, what a surprise. 111 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:17,759 - How you doing, buddy? - Hey. 112 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,762 Oh, my God, yes, I almost gave birth. 113 00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:24,223 - We got you so good. - We got you good. 114 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,308 Okay, wait, get together. 115 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:26,601 Smile. 116 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,311 Cute. Say "ten years." 117 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:29,352 - Yeah, you can frame that. - Cute. 118 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:30,813 Oh, my God. 119 00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:32,065 I don't know what he said to get you guys here, 120 00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,567 but he guaranteed it would be on the dot. 121 00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:35,777 I kept my promise, right? 122 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,111 What did he say to you guys? 123 00:04:37,153 --> 00:04:38,654 - Oh, you don't want to know. - Yeah. 124 00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,448 - It was crazy. - It was crazy. 125 00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:42,158 - Yeah. Yeah. - We had to race here. 126 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,326 You know what? 127 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:44,535 You're gonna get me back. 128 00:04:44,577 --> 00:04:46,329 We sure are, yeah. 129 00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:47,997 I have to pee. 130 00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:49,207 - Guys... - Yes. 131 00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:50,208 - Thank you. - And then this is gonna be... 132 00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:51,375 we're gonna party. 133 00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:52,502 What a night we're gonna have here. 134 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,920 Thank you, everybody, for coming. 135 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,171 I'm gonna be right back. 136 00:04:55,213 --> 00:04:57,507 - Oh, hi. Look at you. - Hey, great to see you. 137 00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,133 What are we gonna do? 138 00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:00,385 We act normal. 139 00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:01,511 - Oh, act normal. - Yeah. 140 00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:02,678 Okay, cool. 141 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,933 Act normal with Ruby's fucking body in the trunk of our car? 142 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,059 Fucking nuts. 143 00:05:08,101 --> 00:05:09,185 How did he know? 144 00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:10,603 How did he know that she knew? 145 00:05:10,645 --> 00:05:11,854 I have no idea. 146 00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:13,606 - Like, I... - Hey, guys. 147 00:05:13,648 --> 00:05:15,358 Get out there right now and take care of the body. 148 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,026 Hey, it's a party. 149 00:05:17,068 --> 00:05:20,363 Get your ass out there right now and fucking fix this. 150 00:05:20,405 --> 00:05:21,697 Guys, I really think 151 00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:22,907 you need to fix this yourselves. 152 00:05:22,949 --> 00:05:27,036 Yeah? And when you do... bonus... 153 00:05:27,078 --> 00:05:29,997 I figured out how we can protect the spinoff 154 00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:32,166 - from the woke police. - What? 155 00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:34,544 We're gonna make the spinoff inclusive. 156 00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:36,003 Okay, I can't talk about this right now. 157 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:38,881 Hey, would you just hear me out? 158 00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:39,923 Thank you. 159 00:05:39,924 --> 00:05:41,384 Right, so what we're gonna do is, 160 00:05:41,426 --> 00:05:42,552 we're gonna give a voice 161 00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,637 to the marginalized serial killers... 162 00:05:44,679 --> 00:05:46,431 the BIPOC killers, the disabled killers. 163 00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:49,434 We are gonna take their voice, and we're gonna raise it up. 164 00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:50,768 - Marginalized serial killers? - Mm-hmm. 165 00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:52,103 Are you fucking insane? 166 00:05:52,145 --> 00:05:53,646 Where would you even find those people? 167 00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:54,772 We have a chat room. 168 00:05:54,814 --> 00:05:56,107 It's kind of like an affinity group. 169 00:05:56,149 --> 00:05:58,776 Huh, 'cause it kind of sounds like a forum for terrible people. 170 00:05:58,818 --> 00:06:02,572 It's a safe space where people can trade stories, talk craft. 171 00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,657 Dead body right in the fucking driveway. 172 00:06:04,699 --> 00:06:07,118 You have lost your mind. 173 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,161 Really? 174 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,579 Because I've already had some Zooms, 175 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,539 and the response is amazing. 176 00:06:11,581 --> 00:06:13,416 Oh, my God, you've... you've had some Zooms? 177 00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:14,751 That's so great. 178 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,085 Did you guys also make some TikTok videos, 179 00:06:16,127 --> 00:06:17,420 you and your little killer friends? 180 00:06:17,462 --> 00:06:18,462 Do a little couple dances together? 181 00:06:18,463 --> 00:06:19,547 Let me tell you something. 182 00:06:19,589 --> 00:06:20,673 There's not gonna be a spinoff. 183 00:06:20,715 --> 00:06:21,924 There's not gonna be a universe. 184 00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:23,217 - Nothing. - All right, fine, fine. 185 00:06:23,259 --> 00:06:25,344 All right, fine. Fine. 186 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:26,387 - You don't have to do it. - Great. 187 00:06:26,388 --> 00:06:27,388 - All right. - Fantastic. 188 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,388 Yeah, I don't need you. 189 00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:29,557 I'll do it on my own. 190 00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:30,599 - What? - What? 191 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,060 The hell you will. 192 00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:35,104 This was my idea. I created this podcast. 193 00:06:37,065 --> 00:06:39,317 I am the podcast. 194 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,152 - Hey, guys? - Hey, Tory. 195 00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:42,194 Hey, Tor. 196 00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:43,279 Hi. 197 00:06:43,321 --> 00:06:45,156 Um, someone crashed the party. 198 00:06:45,198 --> 00:06:46,324 What? 199 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:55,291 Hey, here's the happy couple. 200 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,587 Can I talk to you outside? 201 00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:00,630 Yeah. 202 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,133 Sure. 203 00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:16,562 I don't know what you're doing here. 204 00:07:16,563 --> 00:07:17,563 - Yeah. - You weren't invited. 205 00:07:17,564 --> 00:07:20,483 I know. I know, and look, I totally get it. 206 00:07:20,525 --> 00:07:22,443 I just thought that we've been friends so long... 207 00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:24,570 Give me a fucking break. You shot my dog, Simon. 208 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:25,696 No, I know. 209 00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:27,657 And I am really, really sorry. 210 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,117 Are you sorry you put a gun to my head? 211 00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,576 Sorry about that? 212 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,412 I can't even believe that I did that. 213 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:34,455 - It's like... - The fuck is wrong with you? 214 00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:35,790 I think I just fucking lost it. 215 00:07:35,832 --> 00:07:38,876 And this whole open marriage bullshit, 216 00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,838 it's just... it's just been eating away at me, Nathan. 217 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,841 And I... I just... like, I... 218 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,759 I think I was just doing it to be cool. 219 00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:48,136 And I'm not. 220 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,178 It's just not me. 221 00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:50,263 I don't care. 222 00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,140 Thank God Ruby and I worked it out. 223 00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:55,101 You worked it out? 224 00:07:55,143 --> 00:07:57,145 Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're doing great. 225 00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:59,814 Just had to hit reset, and she's gonna come here. 226 00:07:59,856 --> 00:08:01,149 She'll tell you. 227 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:02,984 But we're not gonna fuck around on each other. 228 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:05,528 We got a new dog, Duke Jr. 229 00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:06,988 Are you kidding me? Duke Jr.? 230 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,073 You can't just pretend this didn't happen. 231 00:08:09,115 --> 00:08:10,283 - Oh... - You shouldn't be here. 232 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:11,701 - You weren't invited. - Okay, I get it. 233 00:08:11,743 --> 00:08:13,161 - You should leave, okay? - No... 234 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,662 'Cause I'm starting to get really fucking pissed off, 235 00:08:14,663 --> 00:08:15,663 - Simon. - Okay, no, no, no, no, no. 236 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,165 Let me make this up to you. 237 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,709 Uh, I'll get a house in Belize, 238 00:08:19,751 --> 00:08:22,128 and we'll get the whole gang together, you know? We'll... 239 00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:25,006 Yeah, that's the thing about you, Simon. 240 00:08:25,048 --> 00:08:28,676 You think you're better than me, but you're not. 241 00:08:36,392 --> 00:08:39,812 - You hear that? - No. 242 00:08:39,854 --> 00:08:41,814 - Is that a phone? - What? 243 00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:43,483 I don't hear anything. 244 00:08:48,029 --> 00:08:49,530 That... there's a phone. 245 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,074 - It's, uh... - I don't think so. 246 00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:54,077 Maybe it's coming from across the street? 247 00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:55,495 No, it's definitely not. 248 00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,913 It's definitely, uh... 249 00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:01,375 it's definitely coming from in here. 250 00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:04,003 Yeah. Let's open it. 251 00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:05,588 - You got the keys? - They're inside. 252 00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:06,964 Hey, don't worry about it. 253 00:09:07,006 --> 00:09:08,549 Whoa, what if somebody's trapped inside? 254 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,385 - Get the keys. - Hey, hey, look. 255 00:09:11,386 --> 00:09:12,845 You know what? 256 00:09:12,887 --> 00:09:14,847 Let's put that stuff in the past, okay? 257 00:09:14,889 --> 00:09:16,391 You and I are cool. 258 00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:18,184 - Come back inside. - Really? 259 00:09:18,226 --> 00:09:20,978 Yeah, we are... we're totally cool. 260 00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:22,146 Let's put it behind us. 261 00:09:22,188 --> 00:09:23,189 Oh. 262 00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:25,400 I've done some crazy shit too. 263 00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:26,859 Yeah. 264 00:09:30,405 --> 00:09:31,864 What about the prenatal classes? 265 00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:33,241 - How are they? - You know what? 266 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:34,492 I never went. 267 00:09:34,534 --> 00:09:35,534 - Girl... - Yeah, no. 268 00:09:35,535 --> 00:09:36,869 But it's, like, showtime. 269 00:09:36,911 --> 00:09:39,038 Well, um, kind of. Not really. 270 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,165 Well, look, has anyone told you about the guy? 271 00:09:41,207 --> 00:09:42,750 - The who? - The shit guy. 272 00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:44,585 - The shit guy. - The what? 273 00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:45,878 No, I mean, you're gonna shit on the table, 274 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,213 - and that's okay. - Okay, quiet. 275 00:09:47,255 --> 00:09:49,048 - He's gonna wipe it... - Okay, guys, you know... 276 00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:51,968 And the diapers, the big, giant vagina diapers. 277 00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:53,344 - Oh, huge. - All right, 278 00:09:53,386 --> 00:09:54,429 you know what, guys? Maybe we can stop talking... 279 00:09:54,429 --> 00:09:55,555 With the ice inside. 280 00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,265 It's like a snowman is going down you. 281 00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:59,684 Your pussy is gonna be on ice for weeks, months. 282 00:09:59,726 --> 00:10:01,227 Well, this is a great party. 283 00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:02,895 You got a guy in the kitchen putting edibles up his ass. 284 00:10:02,937 --> 00:10:04,480 - Right up his ass. - Oh, my God. 285 00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:06,566 I would do that. 286 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,192 Uh, give me one second, okay? 287 00:10:08,234 --> 00:10:09,902 Bye. 288 00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:11,320 We're not ready for this, baby. 289 00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:12,739 Ruby's phone is ringing in the trunk. 290 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:13,823 What? 291 00:10:13,865 --> 00:10:15,575 Yes, come on. 292 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,076 Seriously? 293 00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:20,037 You left her phone in her pocket in the car? 294 00:10:20,079 --> 00:10:21,372 - Are you nuts? - I'm sorry. 295 00:10:21,414 --> 00:10:22,915 It's my first time dealing with a dead body. 296 00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:25,084 Oh, my God. 297 00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,419 Oh, God, I can't look at her. 298 00:10:28,004 --> 00:10:30,506 Okay, how do you turn this fucking thing off? 299 00:10:30,548 --> 00:10:31,799 Don't turn it off. 300 00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:33,843 The cops can fucking track us. 301 00:10:33,885 --> 00:10:35,094 I'm sure this thing has been pinging 302 00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:36,763 every cell tower since we left Malibu. 303 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,014 We'll deal with that later. 304 00:10:38,056 --> 00:10:39,474 We have to see if Matt's telling us the truth. 305 00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:40,683 Okay. 306 00:10:40,725 --> 00:10:41,726 Well, do you have the code? 307 00:10:41,768 --> 00:10:43,102 Uh, no. 308 00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:44,312 All right, well, what do you want to do? 309 00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,439 Oh, my God. 310 00:10:46,481 --> 00:10:47,523 Uh... 311 00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:49,067 okay, okay. 312 00:10:49,108 --> 00:10:52,153 Just, uh... oh, my God, move her face towards me. 313 00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:53,905 Okay. 314 00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:57,325 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. 315 00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:58,743 - Oh, it worked. - It worked. 316 00:10:58,785 --> 00:11:01,079 Okay. All right, I'm gonna check if anyone's called. 317 00:11:03,122 --> 00:11:04,499 Uh, unknown caller. 318 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,292 There's a voice mail seven minutes ago. 319 00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:08,711 - Play it. - Okay. Okay. 320 00:11:08,753 --> 00:11:11,297 Now, this is a message for Ruby Gale. 321 00:11:11,339 --> 00:11:13,257 Detective Quincy Burrell of the LAPD 322 00:11:13,299 --> 00:11:15,468 Westside Ripper Task Force returning your call. 323 00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:17,303 - Oh, my God. - It sounds like you have 324 00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:18,388 - very relevant information. - Shit. 325 00:11:18,429 --> 00:11:20,306 She did call! She was gonna turn us in! 326 00:11:20,306 --> 00:11:21,641 Here's my personal cell. 327 00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:22,892 310-700... 328 00:11:22,934 --> 00:11:24,102 What did she tell them? 329 00:11:24,143 --> 00:11:25,937 - Fuck. - 5647. 330 00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:27,814 Fucking mother... relevant information? 331 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,274 What kind of fucking relevant information do they have? 332 00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:32,819 She was gonna make baby an orphan. 333 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,862 What are you guys doing? 334 00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:36,864 Hey. 335 00:11:36,906 --> 00:11:38,491 Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off. 336 00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:41,369 Yeah, we're coming! 337 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,250 Okay, speech time. 338 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,169 Everybody come in from the kitchen, please. 339 00:11:50,211 --> 00:11:52,755 God, I love a speech. 340 00:11:54,132 --> 00:11:56,050 You know, you're a fucking asshole. 341 00:11:56,092 --> 00:11:58,386 You left the fucking phone on her on purpose. 342 00:11:58,428 --> 00:11:59,470 Yeah. 343 00:11:59,512 --> 00:12:00,638 I wanted to throw you in the deep end, 344 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:01,931 see if you could swim. 345 00:12:01,973 --> 00:12:03,141 Guys, shut the fuck up. 346 00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:04,600 Simon was out there. 347 00:12:04,642 --> 00:12:05,685 What if he saw something? 348 00:12:05,727 --> 00:12:07,228 What if he knows her fucking ringtone? 349 00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:09,147 Well, then we take care of Simon. 350 00:12:10,356 --> 00:12:11,941 When does this end? 351 00:12:11,983 --> 00:12:14,610 Well, that's the beauty of it. 352 00:12:14,652 --> 00:12:16,446 Never ends. 353 00:12:17,739 --> 00:12:21,117 All right, okay. 354 00:12:21,159 --> 00:12:24,746 So I don't really know if anybody knows this, 355 00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:30,126 but Ava and Nathan kind of saved my life. 356 00:12:30,168 --> 00:12:35,048 Um, our mom died when I was 10, 357 00:12:35,089 --> 00:12:39,343 and Ava was living out here with Nathan. 358 00:12:39,385 --> 00:12:45,099 And I got stuck with my dad and step-monster in Chicago, 359 00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:49,729 and I kind of wanted to blow my brains out. 360 00:12:49,771 --> 00:12:52,690 So I called Ava, 361 00:12:52,732 --> 00:12:57,070 and she drove cross-country, 362 00:12:57,111 --> 00:13:01,324 picked me up, and brought me here. 363 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:05,530 She and Nathan gave me a life and a home 364 00:13:05,531 --> 00:13:08,550 and a family. 365 00:13:09,707 --> 00:13:14,295 You guys always looked out for me, 366 00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:20,176 and that baby is so lucky to have you guys as parents. 367 00:13:20,218 --> 00:13:22,178 Seriously. 368 00:13:22,220 --> 00:13:23,429 Am I right? 369 00:13:23,471 --> 00:13:26,015 Yes. 370 00:13:26,057 --> 00:13:27,475 I love you. 371 00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:28,851 Love you. 372 00:13:28,893 --> 00:13:31,270 Thank you. 373 00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:37,312 Happy 10-year anniversary to Ava and Nathan. 374 00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:39,737 To Ava and Nathan. 375 00:13:39,779 --> 00:13:41,072 Ow, ow! 376 00:13:41,114 --> 00:13:43,032 All right, let's party. 377 00:13:43,074 --> 00:13:44,534 - Bye. Thank you. - Yeah, take care. 378 00:13:44,575 --> 00:13:46,411 Thank you. Hey, buddy. Thanks... thanks for coming. 379 00:13:46,452 --> 00:13:47,912 - Bye. Thank you so much. - Oh, buddy. 380 00:13:47,954 --> 00:13:49,914 Bye. Too many ass gummies. 381 00:13:49,956 --> 00:13:51,124 They are really kicking in now. 382 00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:52,208 - Wow. - Nathan. 383 00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:53,543 - You okay to drive? - Yep. 384 00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:55,837 We'll see. 385 00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,088 All right. 386 00:13:57,130 --> 00:13:58,881 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 387 00:13:58,923 --> 00:14:00,925 Guys? 388 00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:03,219 I got you an anniversary present. 389 00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:24,615 Have fun. 390 00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:35,668 Okay. 391 00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:37,295 Okay. Come on, let's go. 392 00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:14,373 Thank God for the pickleballers. 393 00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:34,394 Are you sure this is okay? 394 00:15:34,435 --> 00:15:38,523 Yeah, they're gonna cement it tomorrow. 395 00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:41,359 Cameras haven't worked here in years, so it's perfect. 396 00:15:49,951 --> 00:15:52,537 How come we never talk about the baby? 397 00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:55,039 We talk about the baby. 398 00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:57,583 Uh, no, we don't. 399 00:15:57,625 --> 00:16:00,712 We haven't even bought anything for this little human. 400 00:16:00,753 --> 00:16:03,089 I mean, we don't have a stroller 401 00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:05,425 or car seats, diapers... nothing. 402 00:16:05,466 --> 00:16:08,094 Don't you think that's a little bit weird? 403 00:16:08,136 --> 00:16:11,055 I guess. 404 00:16:11,097 --> 00:16:13,141 Uh... 405 00:16:13,182 --> 00:16:14,475 I mean, I'm super excited. 406 00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:21,232 But I'm fucking terrified. 407 00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,861 Yeah, me too. 408 00:16:27,613 --> 00:16:31,743 I just want to be a good dad. 409 00:16:31,784 --> 00:16:34,579 I don't wanna let you down. 410 00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:37,081 You could never let me down. 411 00:16:37,123 --> 00:16:39,751 Ava, come on, you've been... 412 00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:41,627 you've been so excited these last few months. 413 00:16:41,669 --> 00:16:45,590 You're so... you're so alive. 414 00:16:45,631 --> 00:16:48,134 It's because we're finally getting somewhere, right? 415 00:16:48,176 --> 00:16:49,385 Yeah, but for me, 416 00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:51,095 it was never about getting somewhere. 417 00:16:51,137 --> 00:16:54,474 It was about being together, 418 00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:57,185 connecting again like we used to, you know? 419 00:16:57,226 --> 00:17:00,063 That's literally all I ever wanted. 420 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,900 That's all I wanted. 421 00:17:08,446 --> 00:17:09,489 Let's do this. 422 00:17:15,286 --> 00:17:16,954 Wow. 423 00:17:19,582 --> 00:17:21,459 Oh, God, good job. 424 00:17:37,058 --> 00:17:42,188 You know, we... we met at a party for Taylor Lautner. 425 00:17:42,230 --> 00:17:43,856 We were so young. 426 00:17:43,898 --> 00:17:46,025 She was just, like, the coolest girl in the room. 427 00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:47,527 Everyone wanted to be around her, 428 00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:49,612 but we just... I don't know. 429 00:17:49,654 --> 00:17:53,825 We just, like, bonded and sat in a corner and drank all night. 430 00:17:53,866 --> 00:17:57,078 And she was the most adorable, the most fun. 431 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,122 And the one that was gonna turn us in. 432 00:18:05,378 --> 00:18:06,921 Hey, where's the dart? 433 00:18:09,132 --> 00:18:11,718 Ahh! 434 00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:13,219 Ahh! 435 00:18:13,261 --> 00:18:14,387 Fuck! 436 00:18:14,429 --> 00:18:16,264 Oh, God! 437 00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:17,348 No, don't! 438 00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:20,017 Ahh! 439 00:18:23,104 --> 00:18:25,148 Nathan? 440 00:18:26,899 --> 00:18:28,901 Ruby, no, no. Ruby, no, please! 441 00:18:28,943 --> 00:18:30,570 Ruby, Ruby, please. I'm so sorry. 442 00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:32,238 - Please, please. - Oh, please don't. 443 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,240 Ruby, I'm so sorry. Ruby, no, no, no, no, no. 444 00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:35,408 Ruby, no, no, no, please. 445 00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:37,243 Please, please, my baby. 446 00:18:37,285 --> 00:18:38,995 Fuck the baby. 447 00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:40,621 Ah! 448 00:18:41,164 --> 00:18:43,583 Yes! Yes! 449 00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:48,171 The hot bitch wins for fucking once! 450 00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:49,464 And you know what? 451 00:18:49,505 --> 00:18:51,632 I'm gonna create my own podcast, 452 00:18:51,674 --> 00:18:53,384 and it's gonna be called 453 00:18:53,426 --> 00:18:55,762 "How My Shitty-Ass Friends Protected 454 00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:59,390 a Fucking Serial Killer and Ended Up in a Ditch 455 00:18:59,432 --> 00:19:01,476 Instead of Me," okay? 456 00:19:01,517 --> 00:19:04,812 Fuck you! 457 00:19:08,816 --> 00:19:10,818 She looks so peaceful. 458 00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,115 Oh, God, oh, God. 459 00:19:17,325 --> 00:19:19,035 Okay. 460 00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,047 Anything else you want to say? 461 00:19:31,089 --> 00:19:33,800 Yeah, hurry up. 462 00:19:33,841 --> 00:19:36,135 We got a lot of cleanup to do. 463 00:20:51,377 --> 00:20:52,378 How long have we got? 464 00:20:52,420 --> 00:20:53,713 I don't know. 465 00:20:53,755 --> 00:20:55,506 They're having a sexy hotel night. 466 00:20:55,548 --> 00:20:57,383 That's perfect. 467 00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:03,598 Hey, we've gotta tell them sometime. 468 00:21:03,639 --> 00:21:05,433 We will. 469 00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:13,024 Oh, God, this dress. 470 00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:18,196 What about the name Jack for a boy? 471 00:21:18,237 --> 00:21:21,032 - I like that. - I know. I do too. 472 00:21:21,074 --> 00:21:23,743 It's, like, very old-school, rock and roll, classic. 473 00:21:23,785 --> 00:21:25,078 - What up, Jack? - Yeah. 474 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:26,812 - Hey, what's up, Jack? - What's up, Jack? 475 00:21:26,954 --> 00:21:28,748 - Jack Nicholson. - That's a cool kid. 476 00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:30,458 Jack Kerouac, Jack London. 477 00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:31,667 - Like it. - Yeah. 478 00:21:31,709 --> 00:21:33,586 Mm-hmm. 479 00:21:33,628 --> 00:21:35,380 And what if it's a girl? 480 00:21:35,421 --> 00:21:37,632 I like the name Ellie. 481 00:21:37,673 --> 00:21:38,716 Oh, Ellie. 482 00:21:38,858 --> 00:21:39,858 Do you like that one? 483 00:21:39,859 --> 00:21:42,862 Ellie or Jack. 484 00:21:42,904 --> 00:21:43,946 I love it. 485 00:21:43,988 --> 00:21:47,116 Yeah, me too. It's sweet. 486 00:21:51,245 --> 00:21:53,706 Oh... 487 00:21:53,748 --> 00:21:55,458 whose blood is that? 488 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 489 00:22:55,226 --> 00:22:57,311 Nice shot, Dad. 33438

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