Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
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Morning, Sam.
2
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LAUGHTER
3
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WOMAN, FAINTLY:
'We are under no illusions...'
4
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KNOCK AT DOOR
5
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Hiya.
Hi.
6
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How are you doing?
7
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OK.
8
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:02,520
Look, er... I'm sorry
about the other night.
9
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,120
It's fine.
Your nose looks better.
10
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,120
Yeah.
11
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It is. Thanks.
12
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,320
Erm...
13
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so, look, I was hoping you
had a few things
14
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that I might be able to borrow,
like, erm... eggs and flour.
15
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Eggs and flour?
Yeah.
16
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For, erm... For pancakes.
17
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You need eggs and flour, right?
Yeah.
18
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And milk... and baking powder.
19
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Oh.
20
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,200
Do you... Do you have any of them?
HE CHUCKLES GENTLY
21
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:32,880
It's just I'm rubbish
and my cupboards
22
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are completely empty,
and, you know...
23
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I'd replace absolutely everything,
you know, I promise.
24
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Sure.
Yeah? Yeah.
25
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Amazing. You're a star.
26
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Oh, you're working?
Er... yeah.
27
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What exactly do you do?
28
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,120
Er... I'm a subtitler
for telly programmes.
29
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Get out! You mean,
the subtitles you turn on
30
00:01:54,479 --> 00:01:55,960
for the Deaf people, you do that?
31
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,759
Yeah.
Wow!
32
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Do they like cinnamon
and chocolate chips?
33
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Who?
Your kids.
34
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,760
Oh, I've got a banana as well.
Er, no.
35
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Don't worry about it.
Honestly, it's fine. It's, erm...
36
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,240
I've got it... got it all.
37
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,120
There you go.
38
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,760
OK.
39
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,040
How much of each?
SHE LAUGHS
40
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Want me to google that for you?
HE LAUGHS
41
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,840
OK, one cup flour,
two tablespoons sugar,
42
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one teaspoon baking powder,
then you add a cup of milk and...
43
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Sorry, sorry. Sorry, hang on.
44
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Sorry, one... two cups of flour?
No, one cup of flour.
45
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I need to write this down.
Why don't I just do it for you?
46
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What? No, no,
you're in the middle of working.
47
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Honestly, it'll take two secs.
You sure?
48
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It's easier, yeah.
49
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Erm... there we go.
50
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,000
Oh, you really know
what you're doing.
51
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:47,079
Yeah. Well, I should do.
It's the only thing I can cook.
52
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My dad taught me,
and it reminds me of him.
53
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Where is he?
54
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Erm... he's back with my mum.
They got back together.
55
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Oh.
Six feet under.
56
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Shit! Sorry.
57
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It's fine. It's ancient history,
but when I miss him....
58
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I make pancakes.
59
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It's, er...
Kind of feels like a hug.
60
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,880
Not that he was much of a hugger,
but...
61
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Erm...
62
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:13,920
Yep.
63
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,520
OK.
64
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,800
Wow!
65
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,360
Look at that wrist action.
Mm-hm.
66
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HE CHUCKLES
What a pro.
67
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SHE GIGGLES
Thank you.
68
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,320
Yeah. There we are.
69
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,320
Nice. Done.
70
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,440
Beautiful.
71
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,600
You've never made pancakes before,
have you? What?
72
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,880
Of course I have.
You know, you just...
73
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you toast it in the...
74
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I don't know. No.
You're a bit shit, aren't you?
75
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,079
Yeah.
76
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,880
Look, add a bit of butter
to the pan,
77
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,560
about a quarter of a cup, and then
wait for the bubbles to appear
78
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:50,920
and then you flip them over.
79
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,079
OK.
Yeah.
80
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,280
You'll get extra Brownie points
from them.
81
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,800
Yeah.
82
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,720
Erm... thanks again.
83
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,640
No worries.
84
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,240
Good luck.
85
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,960
Oh! Ah!
86
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:25,440
Hi.
87
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,520
For the pancakes.
88
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,080
Oh.
CHUCKLING
89
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,080
I'm just the neighbour.
90
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,440
You must be Shelley?
Shelley? No, I'm Jen.
91
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,200
Your neighbour dropped this off.
92
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,800
Oh. Thanks.
93
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:45,080
Yeah.
94
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,960
Oh, yeah, er... This is, er... Jen.
95
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,200
Yeah, we've met.
96
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,400
Pancakes for the kids, huh?
Yeah. No, er...
97
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,480
You know, I just... I...
98
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,480
It all got a bit weird.
Weird, how?
99
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,640
Well, you know,
you assumed and then...
100
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,240
you carried on.
101
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,960
The only thing that's weird
is that you lied to me.
102
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I'd have helped you anyway.
103
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,080
But I didn't lie.
You said it was for the kids.
104
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,920
No, I didn't actually say
it was for the kids.
105
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,760
You didn't say it wasn't.
106
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,080
Erm, why don't I just...?
No, that's fine.
107
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,840
Hey, no. Hey, no. That's OK.
Look, you're right. I'm sorry.
108
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I didn't wanna piss you off.
109
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Piss me off?
110
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,440
Yeah. You see, the fact
that you thought I'd be pissed off
111
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:29,800
is what really pisses me off.
112
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I'm not a kid.
Go ahead and impress who you like.
113
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Do I look like I care?
Er... no.
114
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No.
No.
115
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Er... OK, good.
Yeah.
116
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You're right, and I'm glad
you're not pissed off. Yeah.
117
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And the next time, I'll tell you.
118
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Great.
119
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Great.
120
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,440
Yeah.
121
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Right, pancakes.
Er... no, thanks.
122
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,640
I'm gonna jump in the shower.
Oh, really?
123
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:05,200
Is it because of...?
Yeah, OK. Look, um...
124
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:07,960
..we had a thing.
125
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I mean, not a thing, but, you know,
like...
126
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,400
it just... just the once.
127
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:15,680
It's all good. I'm late,
and also I don't eat gluten.
128
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,960
Right, yeah, me too.
Yeah. It really gives me gas.
129
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,000
Oh! Sake!
130
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,280
Oh, hi again.
Let me get that for you.
131
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:46,840
Hi. Thank you.
No, it's fine.
132
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,480
It's just... boxes.
133
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:50,480
Fine.
134
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,960
OK.
Boxes, boxes.
135
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,680
OK.
Thanks very much.
136
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,120
Erm... look, about earlier,
137
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that had nothing to do with you,
sorry.
138
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,040
Oh, I know. Sam filled me in.
139
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,560
Oh.
140
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,840
About your two.
Oh, OK.
141
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,320
What did he say?
142
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Just, you know,
that you had a thing.
143
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,120
Oh.
144
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,720
Look, it's nothing to do with me,
145
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,960
but just for the record,
it was totally a one-off thing.
146
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,400
I met him on Lay.
147
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,560
Lay?
Yeah, the app.
148
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,240
There's an app called Lay?
Yeah.
149
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:20,840
It's where I met my primary partner.
150
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,920
Oh, you have a partner?
Yeah.
151
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,560
Lay is for people who are ENM.
152
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:27,800
Ethically non-monogamous.
153
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,520
Oh, wow! OK.
154
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,080
Yeah, I know
it's not everyone's bag.
155
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,720
You're probably more
of a Bumble girl, right?
156
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,480
I wouldn't know.
I... I don't use apps.
157
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,720
You don't use apps?
No.
158
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,400
Why not?
I don't know.
159
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,360
I guess...
Then how do you meet people?
160
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,800
SNAPS
161
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,040
Ooh, dear.
162
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:24,400
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, Darren,
I really am.
163
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:37,200
Oh, hello, you.
How many apps are you on?
164
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,600
37 years old? Come on!
165
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,840
SHE EXHALES DEEPLY
166
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,360
36.
167
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,320
No. No.
168
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,800
Ooh.
169
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,960
Oh, jazz fan.
170
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:57,920
PHONE CHIMES
171
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,160
Oh, yes!
172
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,280
BAR PATRONS CHATTER
173
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,080
SOFTLY: Oh.
174
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,200
Mm.
175
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:28,760
Oh, wow!
176
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,680
Whew!
The food's meant to be nice.
177
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,440
It's had good reviews.
178
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,360
And actually, I have already eaten.
179
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,920
Oh.
I-I like to eat early.
180
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,640
Also, erm...
181
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,960
you never really know how long
these things are gonna last, so...
182
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:48,720
HE CLEARS THROAT
183
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:58,880
You like jazz?
Yeah.
184
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,480
Yeah? It's good background music
in the car.
185
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,280
Hmm.
186
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:07,240
You? Er... I'm more of a post-punk
kind of girl.
187
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,680
A bit too noisy for me,
I must admit.
188
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,240
SOFTLY: OK. Good.
189
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,640
RINGING TONE
190
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,720
GIRL: 'Hiya.'
Hey, sweetie.
191
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,320
'Leave a message. I might
call you back if I feel like it.'
192
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,480
LINE BEEPS
193
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,320
RINGING TONE
194
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,440
BOY: 'Dad, I can't talk.
I'm on Call Of Duty with my mates!'
195
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,600
HE CHUCKLES,
LINE BEEPS
196
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,240
Oh, shit!
197
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,680
Ah!
198
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,120
Do you do this often?
Sorry, do what?
199
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:21,320
The dating apps?
Oh, well, it's very handy, really.
200
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,880
If you're a discerning shopper,
you need access to a big market.
201
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,920
Right. Discerning... shopper.
202
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:31,880
You know, I pretty much
know straight away what I like,
203
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,240
what I don't.
204
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,080
Mm.
There again, I am very particular.
205
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:37,560
Yeah.
I must admit.
206
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,720
Mm.
Also, it's-it's a gut feeling.
207
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,400
Most people just don't
really trust their gut feelings,
208
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:44,720
but I trust mine.
209
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,400
No. Yeah. I'm really in touch
with my gut feeling.
210
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,640
Yeah... especially now.
211
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,840
MAN ON TV: 'And the home team
finished the game with 117 runs
212
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,600
'with a loss of two wickets.
213
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,600
'They declared after 30 overs.
214
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,360
'The medium-fast bowler is in
a great run of form at the moment.
215
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,720
'He really has come on
since the start of the season.
216
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,560
'The captain's moved the fielding
position into attacking...'
217
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,320
'..moved to silly-mid
and moving out of deep cover.'
218
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,440
WOMAN: 'We've got a great show...'
219
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,360
'The bowler approaches.
220
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,680
'And he's edged it!
221
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,440
'Just clear of the fielder's hand.
222
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,120
'They'll get at least two runs
from that.
223
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,320
'The throw comes in.
It's a good one.'
224
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,120
So, that's it, basically.
225
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,680
Subtitles for the Deaf
and hard of hearing.
226
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,240
Right.
Yeah.
227
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:38,280
So, basically, you just type
what people are saying?
228
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,800
Yeah.
229
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,840
When I do use headphones.
230
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,880
When we do scripted programmes,
we have a script,
231
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,000
but not when we do
unscripted programmes.
232
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,920
I mean, some people
use voicing software,
233
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,400
but it can be quite unreliable.
234
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,200
You know,
you lose some of the nuance.
235
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,720
Right. I mean,
it can be really interesting.
236
00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:02,200
I do all sorts. You know, films,
TV, erm... conferences, talks...
237
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,520
I work with an agency,
so it always changes.
238
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:11,400
Yeah, working from home, you know,
I get to be my own boss.
239
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,200
I don't have to think
about Secret Santa.
240
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,240
Yeah, that's good
about Secret Santa.
241
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,520
Though, personally,
I go for vouchers.
242
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,080
People really love that.
243
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,160
How about you, what do you do?
244
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,440
Oh, I've got my fingers
in a few pies.
245
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,160
It's recruitment, mainly.
246
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,840
Actually, recruitment
doesn't really sum it up,
247
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,280
it's more professional profiling,
corporate headhunting,
248
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,800
that sort of thing.
249
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:40,080
Yeah, there's a fair bit
of psychology involved.
250
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,360
You know, you have to be good
with people...
251
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,800
Right.
..in my line of work.
252
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,480
It's very creative.
Is it?
253
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:47,760
Oh, yeah.
Mm.
254
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:51,240
You've got to like people,
and I am very much a people person.
255
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,480
Yeah, you said.
256
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,400
Then, obviously,
I couldn't work from home.
257
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:55,440
PHONE RINGS
258
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,560
Sorry. Excuse me.
259
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,400
Johnno.
260
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,440
OK. OK.
261
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,960
Oh, dear. Oh, crap.
262
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,040
So-So where are you now?
263
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,440
Mm.
264
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,360
No, no, no.
You're all right. No.
265
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,880
No. It's fine, really. Oh, shut up.
266
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,400
Shut up, it's not a hassle.
267
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,920
Yeah, just...
I'll be with you in 20 minutes.
268
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,400
Sorry, it's a...
269
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,600
a mate stuck in Stretford.
270
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,600
His, erm... van's died on him.
271
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:28,800
I've got to go and pick him up.
272
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,200
Don't worry. I will get this.
273
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,800
Thank you.
SHE EXHALES DEEPLY
274
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,000
Ah.
I'll call you a taxi.
275
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,720
No. It's fine. I'll get my own.
276
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,600
It's just he's stuck
in the middle of nowhere
277
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,200
and there's no-one else, so...
278
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:43,720
Of course.
Shame.
279
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,720
We just got going.
280
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,160
Do it again another time, yeah?
281
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,520
Well, the evening
doesn't have to end here.
282
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,880
I could always come to Stretford
with you.
283
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,680
So, why would you want to do that?
I don't know.
284
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,400
Why would you want to pull
such a stupid act?
285
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,720
Sorry, what act? What act?
286
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:04,320
"What act? What act?" So lame.
287
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,880
You know, you text someone
while I'm talking
288
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,560
and then you just happen
to get an emergency call.
289
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:13,000
Please.
You're not interested, it's fine.
290
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,880
I'm not either. Just say so.
291
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:21,560
Why, why, why do men always assume
they have to lie, huh?
292
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,800
I'm not gonna collapse
into some big heap. God!
293
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,760
Look, just because sparks
didn't fly... No.
294
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,560
..I am not gonna pull something
like that. No?
295
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,640
No. No?
No. Well, prove it then.
296
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,800
Let's go there now. Yeah.
297
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,160
I'm serious. Come on.
298
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,000
Let's go to Stretford.
299
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,240
OK.
Let's go to Stretford.
300
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,520
This is ridiculous.
I could have just dropped you off.
301
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,120
Yeah, but then that would have added
ten minutes to your journey,
302
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,080
and Johnny needs you.
303
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,160
HE EXHALES SHARPLY
304
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,800
Where is he?
305
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,400
Maybe he's been eaten by a wild cat.
306
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:14,160
The wild cat of Sale Water Park.
307
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,760
He said it was about a mile
after the MOT centre.
308
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,240
Oh. Why don't you call him?
309
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:22,440
Because his phone was about to die!
Wow! From one disaster to another.
310
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,680
I don't know,
maybe he did call the AA.
311
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,440
The plot thickens.
312
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,840
Come out, come out,
wherever you are!
313
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,720
Hey!
314
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,280
Here we are. There he is.
315
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,840
Wahey!
316
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,320
Thank fuck! The mobile just died.
JOHNNO CHUCKLES
317
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:42,800
Johnno.
318
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,520
Ho-ho! Johnno!
Oh.
319
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:53,320
Nice one, Ray. Yes! Oh, hello.
RAY CHUCKLES
320
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,400
Are you all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am now, mate.
321
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,480
Good.
I owe you one big time, mate.
322
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,520
He's got a heart of gold, this guy.
Oh.
323
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,280
There is nothing he wouldn't do
for you. Oh.
324
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,680
Anyway, and I'm gutted
I ruined your evening.
325
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,200
You know what Siobhan's like
when she's out with the girls.
326
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,680
I do indeed.
SHE CHUCKLES SHARPLY
327
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,839
I'll tell you what.
Let me make it up to you, right?
328
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,400
Let's go for a drink,
and I am buying.
329
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,359
Oh, no, no. There's really no need.
Give over. The night is still young.
330
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,119
Oh, no, I'm tired,
and I've got a thing.
331
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,800
Come on, girl, you come all the way
out here to save my arse,
332
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:22,599
the least I can do
is to buy you a drink.
333
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,560
Give it up, Johnno.
Why? Come on!
334
00:17:24,599 --> 00:17:27,000
She only came because she thought
I was putting on an act
335
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,200
to get out of the date.
Eh?
336
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,280
She thought that I arranged
for you to call.
337
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,640
You know,
she wanted to catch me out.
338
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,280
JOHNNO CACKLES
339
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,720
SHE LAUGHS
340
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,560
Listen, sweetheart.
It's Anna.
341
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,080
Sorry?
It's Anna, not sweetheart.
342
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,440
Yeah, listen, Anna, sweetheart,
343
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,360
I've known this guy
for 30-odd years,
344
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,640
and one thing's for sure,
what you see...
345
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:51,760
is what you get.
346
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:52,840
Thank you.
347
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,960
Apologies.
Accepted.
348
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,800
Brill. Now we can defo go
for that drink.
349
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,280
I think you owe him one.
Like I say, I'll pass, thank you.
350
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,440
It's one drink.
No, I'm tired, you know?
351
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,680
It's still early! Give it up, John,
she's not the type.
352
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,480
Not the type to what?
It doesn't matter.
353
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,240
No, go on.
Why?
354
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,760
Enlighten me. What "type" am I?
You really want me to say?
355
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,840
Yes, I do. Yeah.
356
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:18,120
Hmm. right, OK.
Well, no offence, your words.
357
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,720
"Tired, kissing 50..."
358
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:21,920
45.
Ah!
359
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,520
So not 36 as stated on your profile?
360
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,440
Oh, I see.
You were expecting someone younger.
361
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,320
You're disappointed.
Well, it did say.
362
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,200
OK. When was your photo taken,
15 years ago?
363
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,240
Oh, but he hasn't aged a day.
I can vouch for that.
364
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,000
Yeah, but he's never 45!
There's no need to go into that.
365
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,080
It really doesn't matter.
366
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,680
When a man does it, but when
the woman does it, it does matter.
367
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,280
But who cares?
368
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,240
You know, if you ask me,
all women are wonderful.
369
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,440
Any shape, any size,
and they only get better with age.
370
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,240
Unless it makes them chippy
and paranoid. Paranoid?
371
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,480
You have put zero effort in.
I might as well have been invisible.
372
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,760
Guys, this vibe, it's no good.
Let's just go for a drink.
373
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,280
No chance!
See what I mean?
374
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,400
There's no need to bite.
He's just trying to be nice.
375
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:02,560
Look, I know he can come across
as a boring old fart.
376
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,640
Mm-hm.
Oi!
377
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,120
But... But believe you me,
you get a few drinks in him,
378
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,880
this guy's a fiend, I'm telling you.
379
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,200
RAY CHUCKLES
Is he?
380
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,440
I am telling you.
381
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,640
We've had some adventures,
haven't we? Oh, yeah.
382
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,400
What about that time
at the ABV Festival?
383
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,320
RAY CHUCKLES
Who can forget?
384
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,440
You had the ladies eating out
of the palm of your hand.
385
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,480
Not all of them.
386
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,320
We ended up back at that Liz's flat,
didn't we?
387
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,360
Oh, yeah.
Oi.
388
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,560
What was the name of her friend,
the very flexible one?
389
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,080
Katy.
Katy!
390
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,360
RAY AND JOHNNO CACKLE
391
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,640
Oh, I wish we still had her number.
Well, actually, I do.
392
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,000
You're kidding me?
No.
393
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,200
Sometimes it pays
to be "a boring old fart".
394
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,720
You legend!
What are we waiting for?
395
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,960
Let's give her a ring.
Right. Yes! Let's!
396
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,840
Thank you so much
for a delightful evening,
397
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,880
but can you pull over now, please?
398
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,520
What, here?
Yes, please, here.
399
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,040
But this is the middle of nowhere.
It's fine. I'll find my way.
400
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,640
What's up with her?
Who knows?
401
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:48,960
Here, please!
Right, fine!
402
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,520
Thank you.
403
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,080
Thank you.
404
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,320
Thanks. Have a great night.
405
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:02,960
I hope Katy's around!
Oh, come on!
406
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,680
Ah!
Twats!
407
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,680
ENGINE REVS
408
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,720
Oh, 23 minutes.
409
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,120
SHE SIGHS
410
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,520
SHE SEETHES
411
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,240
SOFTLY: Oh, God.
412
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,840
Ouch.
413
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,760
LOCK RATTLES
414
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,280
SHE GROANS
415
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:04,880
SHE SEETHES
416
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,480
Hey.
417
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,760
Good night?
418
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,160
Oh, the best.
419
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,880
Hey, erm...
420
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,760
I'm sorry about earlier.
421
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:15,880
Yeah.
422
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,720
Do you fancy some pancakes?
423
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,640
PAN SIZZLES
424
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:18,560
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