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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:02,155 It hurts! Ahh! 2 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:06,273 - No! So no! - So yeah. 3 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,791 - Yes, yes. - No, it's better not. 4 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,718 - Yes. - Okay. 5 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:19,231 - Yes like this! - No. - Yes. - Okay. 6 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,750 Ah! Ouch! 7 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,873 Done. Now let's do the position of Kamasutra number 22. 8 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,992 That of the "horny" dentist! 9 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,071 I like! 10 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:38,193 We start from the front ankle and arrive at the meniscus of the knee. 11 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,710 What beautiful thighs, they are two columns. Why don't you talk? 12 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,833 We arrive at the duodenum. Give me that! 13 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,953 Ahh! What beautiful Mississippi mountains. 14 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,673 - What time is it? - 16.35. - Holy shit! 15 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,794 It's late, I have to go. Let me check the other watch. 16 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,710 - It's true. Come down. - No. 17 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,915 Bad teddy bear! I bet you go with another woman! 18 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:14,635 - What are you saying, my leopard? - Everyone knows you're a womanizer. 19 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:18,548 - They say you go with five women a day. - Exaggerated, three are enough. 20 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,672 You are worth 20! 21 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,588 Hurry up. I have to go to the station, my son is coming from London. 22 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:29,713 - I have to get my wife first. - Poor! With a husband like you! 23 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:34,436 - My wife is delighted! - How is your son? 24 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:39,554 It became gorgeous. In London he will have become a gentleman! 25 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,673 - It looks like you? - In everything! - Even as a boy? 26 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,793 There is no two without three in the Patanè family! 27 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,310 - Go. - Too bad it's your son, otherwise I'd give him a "little thought". 28 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,238 You are never satisfied! 29 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,353 - Where do you go? - I'm going home to pick up my wife. - Like this? 30 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,472 Because of you I lose my mind! 31 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:20,274 - Here you are. - Ahh! Ahh! 32 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,392 Stop crying, Maria! 33 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:29,314 - Always cries! - How agitated I am! 34 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,830 - Our son is coming today. - You must be cheerful! 35 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,953 - Go give yourself a powder. - I don't know what's wrong with me ... 36 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:41,119 ... I'm so upset! 37 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:46,633 - Peppino! - What's up? - Hurry to go to the station! 38 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,194 - Pope! - Hurry up! 39 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:53,313 - Stop it, dad! - Are you talking to me like that? I am your father! 40 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:56,477 That train comes from London, not from Barletta, don't wait! 41 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,593 You scream, she cries, there is too much confusion! 42 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,508 The more we mess, the more we mess up! 43 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:11,634 Did you put on my hat? You make me lose my mind! 44 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,752 Ahh! Let's go. 45 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:18,031 MARIA CRIES It seemed to you! 46 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,350 (loudspeaker) "The rapid from Naples is on its way." 47 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:29,873 "Ln tests the cars arriving from Paris, Brussels and London." 48 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,478 We are looking for the first class. 49 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,594 Gianluca! 50 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,188 - Gianluca! - What do you want? 51 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,470 Here. 52 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:24,038 It must be him! How beautiful, he looks like an English milord! 53 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:29,154 Gianluca, my son! How beautiful you are, you are taller! 54 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:33,273 There is a misunderstanding. Allows? Aldo Bergonzo, a commercial traveler. 55 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:37,393 I work for the renowned "Heavenly Journey". 56 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,512 - Tourist agency? - Undertakers. 57 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,632 - At your service. Until we meet again. - Goodbye! 58 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:56,274 - Stop crying! - Mum! Pope! 59 00:06:56,400 --> 00:07:00,393 - Gianluca! - Where do you go? Who is that? - Our son. 60 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:05,514 - Blessed Madonna! How has it changed! - Mum! 61 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,038 Hello, dad. 62 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:17,276 (in English) He no longer recognizes me. 63 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:24,397 - Dad, I'm your son! - Hello. - Pope! 64 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:29,193 - Good morning, Baroness. - Treats. 65 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:35,110 - Walk. Salutations. - That's Baronet Gianluca. 66 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:40,234 He came back from London. LAUGH 67 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:46,748 - See how he's dressed? - Until we meet again. 68 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:51,273 - Look at the hair! - I'm sending you to London too! 69 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:55,393 - How wonderful! - Beautiful! Salutations. 70 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,788 - The young one is the baroncino? - Studied in London. 71 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,309 To become "ricchione"! 72 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:24,273 - Welcome back. - Good morning. - How are you? - Fine, thanks. 73 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:29,394 - Hey! Luggage. - Let me see U. How cute you are! 74 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:34,513 How elegant and beautiful you are! 75 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:37,872 Gianluca! 76 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:43,393 Grandpa suffers from heartache, if he sees you dressed like this, he dies instantly. 77 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:47,513 - So go to your room and dress like a boy. - Yup. 78 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:51,633 - Gianluca? - Yup? - This thing here ... 79 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:55,355 ... it is better to take it off. Here you are. Good boy. 80 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:59,473 - We put this in its place! - What are you doing? You hurt him! - No! 81 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,194 This is a new Chinese method. 82 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:06,029 (in English) How are you? (in English) Well, thank you. 83 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:10,153 - It works. I prefer the method of Matilde di Canossa. - Which? 84 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:14,671 - If it doesn't line straight, I'll break his bones! - How bad you are! 85 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:19,951 - Shut up, let me. - No! Let yourself be touched. - No! 86 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:24,073 Stop! You have to be with me for five hours. 87 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,590 What a beautiful ass! Stop, Carmelina! 88 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,314 It says on the employment contract ... 89 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,432 ... "washing, ironing and 'tagging'!" 90 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:37,519 - Stay still! - No. Stop! 91 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:41,633 Come here, I'm horny! Do not you like me anymore? 92 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:46,959 - Do you like my son Peppino? - No. - Gianluca? Yes you like! 93 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:52,154 I'm happy, he stays in the family: One tit for me, one for Gianluca. 94 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:56,068 If you don't need anything else, I'll go to the kitchen to prepare lunch. 95 00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:00,990 Go, cursed servant, but sooner or later you have to come back here! 96 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:09,316 She likes young meat! He is no longer satisfied with the old! 97 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:14,434 - Where is he going? - May I come in, sir? > Come in. 98 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:20,553 Are we already at this point? We are in an advanced state! 99 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:25,674 My beautiful grandson! Honor yourself, grandpa blood doesn't lie! 100 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:29,793 What are they doing under the cool of the sheets ... 101 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,956 ...with this heat? 102 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,672 Well? Have you finished yet? 103 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,190 Do you like the kangaroos of Albania? Five shots and go! 104 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:50,313 - We did nothing! - Nothing? 105 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,432 By force! You stink! He is a boy ... 106 00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:57,553 ... he comes from London, he is used to LONDON who are "bone"! 107 00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:02,071 However, Gianluca, either from London or Budapest, they are always buttocks! 108 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,192 The servant has served me, she must also serve you ... 109 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:10,155 ... otherwise what good is it? Now I look at what it does. 110 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,632 What is he doing? 111 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,431 Law. 112 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:26,999 > Who is it? - I'm the grandfather! > One moment! - Go ahead. 113 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:31,112 > Holy shit! 114 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:36,633 Instead of "snagging" the servant, look at the pornographic magazines! 115 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:41,390 Incredible! Evidently the LONDRINI are autarchists ... 116 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,909 ... people "in hand"! 117 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:51,076 - Finally! - I was busy. - I know it. - Do you need something? 118 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:55,990 - What do I need? - I do not know. - I have to say it, not you! - Of course. 119 00:11:56,120 --> 00:12:01,717 - I want some water. - That is fine. - Go to the kitchen, Carmelina is here. 120 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:06,038 - Remember that the servant is needed! - I know ... - Got it? 121 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,550 - Okay, but don't shout! - I'm not screaming. 122 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,713 I don't know how they get horny with pornographic magazines! 123 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:22,833 In my day, females had a little fat on them! 124 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,952 They are all skin and bones now! 125 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,470 Males! Naked males! 126 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:47,874 So Gianluca is ... "ricchione" ... 127 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,991 Gianluca... 128 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,911 I feel bad! Madonna, I feel bad ... 129 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,271 Ahh! 130 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:04,793 - Thanks for signing up. - Until we meet again. - Until we meet again. 131 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,508 - Mr. Notary, why did Dad change his will? - I am sorry. 132 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:16,634 - We're in the family, he can talk. - I am sorry. - I am the son ... 133 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:20,355 - I am sorry! - Arrederla, so many sorrows! 134 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:25,474 - Ahh! How's my dad doing? - Accursed wretch! 135 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,991 - Do not shout! - Is dead? - No. - Ahh! My dad! 136 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:35,513 - Now do you remember that you are his daughter? - When the blood calls, I run. 137 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:40,430 - Mrs. Linda ... - Give me courage! - Mind your own business! 138 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:44,155 - Why didn't you come earlier? - I was doing ... 139 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:48,273 - You were doing all the men in the hotel! Do not enter. - Pope! 140 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:52,393 - You stole 120 million for that hotel! - 118! 141 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:59,039 - You took three times what you were entitled to. - All documentable. 142 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:03,358 (softly) Peppino. Hey! 143 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:07,473 - He's calling me. - It is not true. - He said "Peppino". 144 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,592 Dad, your baby doll is here. 145 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,992 - Pope. - Peppino ... - Dad. - Peppino ... 146 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,599 What's up? 147 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:29,473 - Do you have a bad ear? - Gianl ... 148 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:34,671 - Gianl ... - How? 149 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,792 I do not understand. 150 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,312 - Ricchione! - To me? 151 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:48,070 Do you want to tell me something? Am I sending you a "rich ..." a priest? 152 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,910 It seemed strange! Do you want a girl? 153 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:01,033 Gianl... Gianl... 154 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,469 Gianl... 155 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,831 Gianl... 156 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,272 CRY 157 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:14,671 - Don Calogero was a gentleman. - Yup! 158 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,190 - He knew how to argue about everything. - He died "arguing". 159 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:23,314 He was telling me something. Excuse me. He spat at me and died. 160 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:58,671 Do you see the baroncino? He's a ricchione! 161 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,472 He's a ricchione! 162 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:09,671 - Peppino's son is a ricchione! - Peppino's son is a ricchione. 163 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:15,193 - The baroncino is ricchione. - Peppino's son is a ricchione! 164 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,311 Ricchione! 165 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:42,273 Cosimo, Gianluca is rich! 166 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,392 - Hey! Then? - Nothing. 167 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:51,911 Excuse me, Baron, with interest we have reached 11,111,000 lire. 168 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:57,637 - I seized the candlesticks from the funeral. - It was necessary? - Yup. 169 00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,752 - Until we meet again. - Condolences. 170 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,873 STABLES SOMETHING CRYING 171 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:21,674 "the undersigned Calogero Patanè, Baron of Martorana ..." 172 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:26,794 "... Knight of Frederick II, Grand Officer of the Garter ..." 173 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:32,517 "... in full possession of my faculties, sane ..." 174 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:37,031 "... I declare in the presence of the notary ..." 175 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:41,153 "... Alfonso Brindisi ..." CRIES AND SCREAMS 176 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:45,273 - Please, lady, calm down. - Shut up, Maria. 177 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:51,193 "I declare in the presence of the notary ..." CRIES AND SCREAMS 178 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:55,950 Stop it, must declare! You declare, notary. 179 00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:00,471 - One moment, I'll read. - Shall we play poker? I do it "dark"! 180 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:07,597 - Excuse me. - "I declare all my previous wills null and void." - Yup! 181 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:13,317 "And I appoint my son Giuseppe, known as Peppino, my universal heir." 182 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,238 - What happiness! - There is a mistake ... 183 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,158 You catch him in that place! 184 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,795 - Nothing to me? It's not right. - You spent everything ... 185 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:27,436 ... to build the hotel where you receive the men. - The? 186 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:31,348 So what about you who spent it all? 187 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:35,473 - With women and at play. - At the game yes, I always lose ... 188 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:39,593 ... but not with whores! It is not in the nature of the Patanè ... 189 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,713 ... pay the whores, if anything they pay us! 190 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:48,834 You all take advantage of it because I ... 191 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:53,954 ... I am a poor widow! - Poor widow! 192 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,914 Don't listen to her, don't you! 193 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,429 Silence, gentlemen! 194 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:04,553 - I still have to read a clause. - There is a clause. - Which? 195 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,070 - Shut up, please. - Yup. 196 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,636 "... Giuseppe called Peppino ..." - It's me. 197 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,752 "... on one condition ... - What is it? 198 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:20,876 "... otherwise all the inheritance passes to my daughter Linda ..." -To me! 199 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,993 "... dictates the ..." - Doll! 200 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:30,638 - "Strozzaminchie", notary public! - What do you say? - It's true! 201 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:35,151 Do you know why we call it that? 202 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,636 Mr. Notary, do you know why we call you that? 203 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:42,150 - Poor daddy knew that too. - Forget about it! 204 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:46,273 - Remember the Japanese coachman? - Yes, he had almond eyes! 205 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:50,393 - Remember the French groom? - Yes, he had black eyes! 206 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:55,514 - And the negro? - He had ... - I know what he had! 207 00:20:55,640 --> 00:21:02,034 - Understood? - "The condition is that my nephew Gianluca ..." 208 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:07,951 "... get married and have a child within exactly one year of my death." 209 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,072 "Thus giving proof of virility ..." 210 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:15,079 "... which has always distinguished our family." 211 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:19,193 CRY AND SCREAM Why are you crying? It's funny! 212 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:23,313 - That's bullshit! - I better cry. 213 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:28,434 - Got it, Gianluca? - Wait a minute, I have to think. - Everything's clear. 214 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:33,554 I was afraid of this condition, but it is stupid! 215 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:39,277 Gianluca is perky. As San Gerardo, protector of billiards said ... 216 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,597 ... "with Gianluca's cue every hit goes into the hole!" 217 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:51,874 31! Dear Peppino, you have lost again. 218 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,993 - With this they make ... - Two thousand lire? - Two million. 219 00:21:56,120 --> 00:22:00,113 - I can not hear. - Two million! - Don't shout, I'm not deaf! 220 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,038 Unfortunate! Two million! 221 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,152 - Pss! - Who is? 222 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,669 - Pss! - Ah! 223 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,431 Excuse me. 224 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:19,519 Signor Peppino, why do you keep playing with Cosimo? It breaks you down! 225 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:27,236 The interest on the money he owes us has reached 22,222,000 lire. 226 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:32,150 - I seized the silverware in the house. - The silverware? 227 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:37,274 - Was it really necessary? - Yes. - Goodbye. - Treats. 228 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:44,073 - He was a friend. - What is 22 million for Don Peppino? 229 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:48,193 Soon Gianluca is getting married and the inheritance is all his! 230 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,313 Speaking of Gianluca, where are we with the wedding? 231 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,238 Have you found the right woman? 232 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:58,750 You know that we are not good-natured in the family. 233 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,872 My son is of difficult tastes! 234 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,788 We also say "details"! 235 00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:09,749 In what sense? 236 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:14,874 - He's not satisfied with just any girl. - No. 237 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,276 Maybe he would prefer it with pants! 238 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:23,235 Now my son is getting married to a sergeant of the Bersaglieri! 239 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,513 - Carmelina, are there a lot of customers? - I do not know! 240 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,633 You must know, I called you to be an assistant nurse. What do you do? 241 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:39,151 I prepare the walnut sauce for the spaghetti. 242 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:43,671 I recommend that the dentist's spaghetti be "al dente". 243 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:48,191 - Why do you use that? - The nutcracker broke. 244 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:53,713 You're using the pliers I use to remove the teeth! 245 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,833 You have to be a servant, not a nurse! Go disinfect them. 246 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,350 I disinfect them immediately. 247 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,551 Do you want them more disinfected? What a fucking family! 248 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:14,073 - Carmelina! Go! - The Baron! - I `ll kill you! 249 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:18,990 You look! Come on the first. Incredible! 250 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:24,275 - Good morning. - Sit down, lady. - Stuff from the other world! 251 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,392 PHONE RINGS 252 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:33,073 - Hello? - I'm Peppino. - Tell me, I'm in a hurry. 253 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,397 - I meant to tell you ... - Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. 254 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:40,513 You are always in a hurry! Sit down and listen. 255 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,633 - That is fine. - You're sitting? You promised to send me ... 256 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:48,150 ... a nurse from the convent of the Incoronata of Foggia. 257 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:52,671 I don't want her good, but young. Here is my son, there is me ... 258 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:57,078 ... she must help in the study ... I mean, she must have two nice boobs. 259 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,237 - Peppino! - As they say? 260 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:02,476 God forgives everyone! 261 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,592 Isn't there a girl like that? 262 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:11,274 - I think I have it. - Good! - But I must warn you ... 263 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:16,349 ... which had a stormy past and is now undergoing a moral restoration! 264 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:22,396 - How long does it take? - I don't know, I'm in a hurry, we'll talk about it tomorrow. 265 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,239 What do you need to do that is so urgent? 266 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:29,512 A funeral. If you hold me still, it starts to stink! 267 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,633 - I don't understand, what stinks? - The dead! - Holy shit! 268 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:39,915 - Bye see you. - Peppino, don't scratch! - Hello. 269 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,877 Have you heard? (from the phone) Peppino! 270 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,594 Mom... 271 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:52,511 - Excuse me, ma'am ... - Happy anniversary, love. 272 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,632 You are crazy? 273 00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:01,151 Today it is three years since we first made love. 274 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:06,070 Why do you always do this? This chair gives me arthrosis. 275 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:11,957 - Are you going to have a filling for me? - I'd make you two or three! 276 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,072 Will you use the drill again today? 277 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,590 If you say so you make me horny like an Eskimo kangaroo! 278 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:23,510 - Another time, today I have a thousand thoughts. - What's wrong? 279 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:28,031 - I'm worried about my son. - The fag! 280 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,948 Gianluca is a fagot. The whole country knows. 281 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,878 - Fagot? - Yup. 282 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:41,388 So here's why ... 283 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:48,278 Carmelina! Carmelina! 284 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,790 - Carmelina! - What's up? 285 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,708 - Has the mail arrived? - Yes. - Go get it. - Immediately? 286 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,832 No, go there tomorrow! Hurry up, otherwise I'll kill you! 287 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:04,353 - Peppino, what's going on? - Nothing. - A misfortune? - Perhaps. 288 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,472 Don't hide anything from me. I want to know it. 289 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:11,593 Mind your business, otherwise I'll kill you too! 290 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:16,510 - Here's the mail. - The mail. Go away! 291 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,632 Why so many letters? Is it an anniversary? 292 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:23,355 - Yes, of the Bersagliere! - Are the Bersaglieri coming here? 293 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:27,951 Yes, with the mustache and the plume! 294 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:33,676 This is not, this is not ... 295 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:43,273 It's this one! Silence! It's this one. 296 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,790 "Giuseppe Patanè". It's aimed at me. 297 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:56,068 "Your son is a ricchione". It is directed to Gianluca. 298 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,192 They even did the drawing! 299 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:06,676 So that's true! The anonymous letter is always the only truth! 300 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:17,196 - Gianluca! - Yes, dad? - Do you know what they say in the village? - No. 301 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,118 - Do you know Grandpa's will? - Yup. 302 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,312 - Do you know about the condition? - Yup. 303 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:27,433 - Don't always say "yes". - No. - Don't say "no". - What do you want me to say? 304 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:32,554 - You have to tell me what you want to do. - I'd like to ... - What? 305 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:36,673 - The cul ... - What cul? - The cul ... 306 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:40,634 - The bodybuilder. - My Jesus! II bodybuilder! 307 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,752 Did you slap me? 308 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,872 Carmelina... a me! 309 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,993 He did ... to me! 310 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:10,633 Our son wants to be a bodybuilder. What an asshole! 311 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,752 Those ricchioni who lift weights! 312 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,270 He didn't have the courage to tell me he likes men! 313 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:21,393 He was going to say "culattone" and at the end he said "bodybuilder". 314 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:25,513 Sorry, but if you wanted a precise answer ... 315 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,632 ... why didn't you ask a specific question? 316 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:34,357 But ... I came close to the speech, I tried to convince him ... 317 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:39,474 I can't say to my son, "I found out you're a fagot." 318 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:46,199 Sorry, what exactly does the word "ricchione" mean? 319 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:50,313 We've been talking about it for two hours! 320 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:56,231 Ricchione is one who loves men more than women. 321 00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:01,354 Then Gianluca is not at all ricchione. 322 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:05,871 How do you say this? 323 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,594 He has always loved me very much ... 324 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,712 ... and her grandmother too, when she was alive. 325 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:17,233 I'm not spitting in your face just because I don't feel like it today. 326 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:22,354 When I say "females" I mean females with a capital F! 327 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:27,315 - F like "fuck"! - You mean "whores"! 328 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:31,433 Yes, even whores. Whores? 329 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:37,115 You had a great idea! Whores equals whores ... 330 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:41,233 ... whoremonger is the same as cuckold, cuckold like Cosimo ... armory! 331 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:46,354 - Why do I have to buy cartridges? - Shut up! - The armory is closed. 332 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:51,474 - I organized everything. - Did you get the bidet? - Because? 333 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:55,593 Why do cartridges need ... 334 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,712 - I mean, do you want to go in? - No! 335 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:02,628 Yup! You understand now? Hurry up! 336 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:07,151 Remember I take four cartridges in there at a time! 337 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:13,073 - Pope! - Lia, it's on its way. - Gianluca, come on! 338 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,271 Excuse me. 339 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:27,997 - Did you come to get the cartridges for Daddy's shotgun? - Yup. 340 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:33,513 There aren't those cartridges here, they're in the house. Will you accompany me? 341 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:38,031 - If you want ... - Give me your hand. 342 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,752 Let's get the cartridges for Dad's shotgun. 343 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:47,237 - You have a shotgun too, right? - No. - Yes, you do! 344 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:01,673 Take a seat, come here. Come on, don't be nervous. 345 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,792 I am not nervous. 346 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,913 Yes you are. Tonight we will load your shotgun too! 347 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,838 Now sit down. 348 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,952 - Here, don't be afraid. - No. 349 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:24,069 He turned on the light, kicked off. Here we are! 350 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:29,159 - A little whiskey? - No, thanks, I'm a teetotaler. 351 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:34,274 Come on, a drop of whiskey never hurts. In reverse! 352 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:38,590 You will see that you will feel better afterwards. 353 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:42,713 - Sorry, it's late. I came for the cartridges. - We'll talk about that later. 354 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:46,833 - Dad is waiting for me. - Who cares? Let him wait. 355 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:51,953 - What have I done to you! - Don't worry, it's nothing. 356 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:56,312 No. It needs to be cleaned, otherwise the stain remains. 357 00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:00,433 First I dry you well here and here. 358 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,791 Don't worry ... it was a mistake. 359 00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:07,754 Relax, let me do it. 360 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,471 Bravo. 361 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:16,594 Now let's look for the stain! It's here? 362 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:21,510 He is rich, he is not rich, he is rich, he is not rich ... 363 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,589 This is advanced! 364 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,712 - No thanks. I have to go. - Wait up. 365 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,832 - He has to come away. - I have to go. 366 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,952 This stain does not come. 367 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,639 He does not come! 368 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:48,675 He's a fagot, he's not a fagot, so-so ... 369 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:53,191 - I got dirty too. - No, it seems to me not. 370 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:57,711 Yes, I'm sure. I'm going to change my dress. 371 00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:03,233 Please, do not spy on me while I change. 372 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:07,831 - Do not worry. - I'm not closing the door, but don't spy on me. 373 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:13,592 The second light came on! There is a penalty kick, make a goal! 374 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:53,068 - You're watching? - No, I don't look. 375 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:57,398 He is rich, he is not rich, he is rich, he is not rich ... 376 00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:01,274 Rich ... He's a ricchione! 377 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,996 Ah! Here I am! 378 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:10,716 Enough with the games now, baby ... 379 00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:16,951 - The time has come to use your rifle. - No! 380 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:31,474 (sings) "What a great job being a whorehouse!" 381 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,832 "What a great job being a whorehouse." 382 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:43,553 - Heaven! My husband! - No! - Gianluca! 383 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:49,437 - Quick, hide. - Where is it? - On the balcony. - No come on! 384 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:53,951 - Gianluca! Throw yourself off the balcony. - It's too high! 385 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:58,710 It is not too high. Go for it, the cuckold knows how to shoot very well! 386 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,029 Go ahead and hurry. 387 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,310 Dai! 388 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,272 PHONE RINGS 389 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:13,517 Ready? House of Doctor Baron Patanè. 390 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:18,998 - Peppino, it's me. - Love! Tell me everything about Gianluca. 391 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:25,355 When Cosimo was entering your son's house, something moved! 392 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,472 - What do you mean? - In that sense! 393 00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:33,594 Did he have some kind of "presentat'arm"? 394 00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:37,395 - Are you sure? - Sure, I understand! 395 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:41,911 Yes, you understand! Then I believe it. I'm glad then it's not! 396 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:46,033 What does it matter if he reacted in the moment of danger! 397 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,230 Hello, love, thank you. 398 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:53,912 - When are you coming to see me? - Soon. - How many cartridges will you buy? 399 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:59,034 Unfortunate! We pack the cartridges together with you and me! 400 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:03,472 Let's do 12 or 15 ... Let's do two! They are enough. Hello. 401 00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:09,232 Then my son is not a fagot! 402 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:13,717 (sings) "My son is not a fagot!" 403 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:18,834 "He's not rich, he's not rich!" 404 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:23,954 "He's not rich, he's not rich!" 405 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:29,871 - Peppino! - Who is? - Are you feeling bad? - I'm fine. 406 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,390 I was doing the finale of the opera: "He's not a fagot!" 407 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:37,513 - I miss the C from the chest! - This letter arrived this morning. 408 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,432 - My hand hurts. - Poor thing. 409 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,552 Blessed Madonna! 410 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,752 What happens, Peppino? More misfortunes? 411 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,271 Speak out. 412 00:37:56,400 --> 00:38:01,474 - "Don't worry about 'Gianculino' ..." Got it? - No. 413 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:05,798 You do not understand anything. Don't worry about 'Gianculino' ... 414 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,913 "... maybe your nephew gives birth directly to him. A friend." 415 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:13,635 - Ahh! I have to let off steam! - Who is this friend? 416 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:17,753 No man, he's a son of a bitch! I'll kill him! 417 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:21,873 - I do not understand. - I said I'll kill him! 418 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:27,597 You are my wife, if I laugh, you must laugh too. Four laughs ... 419 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,912 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 420 00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:42,670 ALL SPEAK TOGETHER IN THE APULIAN DIALECT 421 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,272 THEY ALL SPEAK TOGETHER 422 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,392 THEY ALL SPEAK TOGETHER 423 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:05,470 - Did you want to say something? - We wanted to know how Gianluca is. 424 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:08,194 Maybe he is indisposed? 425 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:16,117 Yes, my son is indisposed, he is waiting for his period. 426 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,672 Your whore sister is waiting for the motorcycle! 427 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,394 Don't you laugh anymore? 428 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:29,516 When you come to heal that tooth, I'll break it in three. Country of shit. 429 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,431 Scusi... 430 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,878 - Is there anything I can do? - Yup. 431 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,355 Ahh! 432 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,472 Ahh! Ahh! 433 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:48,271 It hurts! 434 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:52,868 - What's up? - Who is there? - Nobody. I said "What is it?". 435 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,992 - She said it! - Yes. What do you want to tell me? 436 00:39:56,120 --> 00:40:00,113 Interest reached 33,333,000 lire. 437 00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:04,233 I foreclosed on the furnishings, the sheets and the blankets. 438 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,352 - It was necessary? - Yup. 439 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,472 - Goodbye. - Mr. Baron ... 440 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:16,391 You wait ... in the end I'll give you the money with my dick! 441 00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:18,558 Mortacci! 442 00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:25,879 - And she? - No. - Too bad! Look at those boobs and thighs! 443 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,390 I mean, are you looking for a nurse or what? 444 00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:33,911 Do you know the inheritance clause? Gianluca must have a son. 445 00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:38,033 - But he's not dating anyone. - Are you hoping I'll marry the nurse? 446 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:41,152 Yes, but it must be a blast, Gianluca has difficult tastes. 447 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,670 My God! I don't know if I did well! 448 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,190 I also talked to God, he said it's okay! 449 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,629 - Yes. - Down! 450 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:53,149 - And she? - No. 451 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:56,670 I offer board and lodging but I want her to be a "fan"! 452 00:40:56,800 --> 00:41:00,588 Don't worry, Sonia was a stripper. 453 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:04,315 - Peppino! - I'm taking this. - No. 454 00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:11,036 This one doesn't come anymore. You could have avoided me coming to the station! 455 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:15,153 You made me stay here 35 minutes! Fuck off! 456 00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:18,078 Now stop! 457 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,193 Excuse me! I was joking with the priest and ... 458 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,311 What's up? 459 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:33,232 Interest reached 44,444,000 lire. 460 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:38,753 - Fuck! - I seized the whole library. 461 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:44,876 - It was necessary? - Yes. - Goodbye. 462 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,992 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 463 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,918 He was a friend of mine ... 464 00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:55,033 - Reverend! - Sonia! 465 00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,752 The stripper? But how? 466 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,915 - Yes it's her. - But how? 467 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:09,716 BALBETTA That has nothing! 468 00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:15,310 - Are you really the nurse from Foggia? - Yup. 469 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,238 Brava, nice and beautiful! 470 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:23,354 - Good morning. - Good morning. He is the doctor Patanè you will be working with. 471 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,471 Pleasure. 472 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:33,393 - We want to go? - Yup. 473 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,309 What do you say? 474 00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:48,035 How can my son get horny with a skinny one? 475 00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:51,152 I expected two tits and two thighs like this ... 476 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,875 ... instead it's skin and bones. - Peppino! - I come. 477 00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,391 Salve. 478 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,509 I do not sleep. 479 00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:13,636 How can I sleep? I have too many thoughts in my head! 480 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:21,153 Peppino! Why did you get up so early? 481 00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:24,875 - It's only 7.00. - I'm worried about Gianluca. 482 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:29,994 - Because? What happened? - Don't shout, you annoy me! 483 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:34,910 You only know how to cry and eat! 484 00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:39,033 I'm worried because everyone in the village teases me. 485 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:44,154 Yesterday morning an asshole at the bar while I was having an aperitif ... 486 00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,670 Darnit! Damn bed, it slips! 487 00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:53,674 Everyone teases me. They make me raspberry! 488 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:57,190 Ahh! We also missed the ugly nurse! 489 00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:01,313 She seems very polite to me, I like her a lot. 490 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,432 In fact, I'm worried because she looks like a nun. 491 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:08,553 I had seen her when she arrived at the station! Why did I get it? 492 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:12,673 The priest gave us the rip off! 493 00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:16,793 - I don't understand you, Peppino. - I understand! 494 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,912 I want proof from Gianluca! 495 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:24,192 I put one with two tits next to him like this, I want to see what she does! 496 00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:27,710 - Talk to your son. - You piss me off! 497 00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:31,230 I can go to my son and say ... 498 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:36,558 Not a bad idea. You wouldn't think ... 499 00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:40,116 ... you have some good ideas in that belly! 500 00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:43,835 Do not Cry! Now I go to him and say: "Dear Gianluca ..." 501 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:48,351 "... you have to get married and have a child, otherwise we lose the inheritance." 502 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,232 Will understand. 503 00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:55,273 In an hour I wake him up and tell him to have breakfast with me. 504 00:44:55,400 --> 00:45:02,192 "Lia said she pulls you. I want to know what kind of woman pulls you ..." 505 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:23,953 You understood! Is that the station nun? 506 00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,675 Where did he keep this good of God hidden? 507 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:31,793 - Dad, what are you doing here? - The? And you? 508 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:36,994 - I look at how he does gymnastics. - It's not gymnastics, it's music ... 509 00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:42,114 ... is mandolin. The priest was right: He did the restoration. 510 00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:47,234 As the doctor said to the insane patient, "take off my frock that stands up ..." 511 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:52,150 - How? - Maybe I should have said "fuck". 512 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:04,393 - See how well he gets on the saddle! - You ride, my son! 513 00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:09,116 - Moves well. - Sure, she was a stripper. 514 00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:12,277 It would make an army of castrati horny! 515 00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:16,188 It is really true that the nun does not make the dress! Listens... 516 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:19,835 - You like? - Yes, it's a nice exercise bike. 517 00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:23,350 I'm talking about the girl, asshole! 518 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,790 Look what beautiful buttocks! I'm the end of the world! 519 00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:31,914 - You like? - Yes, I think so. - I knew it! 520 00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:36,033 I thought that ... it doesn't matter, I'll explain later. 521 00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:39,357 Good Patanè does not lie! 522 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:41,516 Shh! 523 00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:46,634 - Gianluca, would you marry this one? - Yes, I think yes. 524 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:52,193 Would you make us a baby right away on your wedding night? 525 00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:55,312 - Yes. - Thank you, my son. 526 00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:59,228 Then it's yours. It's decided, it's yours. 527 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:03,353 - How? - It's yours. Come here. - My? 528 00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:08,474 - Let me do it, I'll arrange everything. - Dad, what are you thinking? 529 00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:14,391 Let me do it. We will have a big party, they will also talk about it on TV. 530 00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:18,513 - The important thing is that you have a son! - Male? 531 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:22,633 Do you want a sissy? Okay, as long as you have a child! 532 00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:27,356 - How you do it? - Should I teach you how to do it? 533 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,272 Take a woman very gently. 534 00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:37,393 You caress her, you touch her whole body with your lips ... 535 00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:41,115 ... then ... SCREAMS INCOMPRENSIBLE WORDS 536 00:47:41,240 --> 00:47:45,233 - I already knew that. - Then do it, holy shit! 537 00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:56,274 - You are welcome. - Hello. - Walk! Hi beautiful. 538 00:47:56,400 --> 00:48:01,997 Looks like he's going to the guillotine! Now I'm going to clean your teeth. 539 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:06,113 - You cleaned them for me last month! - I still do. 540 00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:09,232 I make them very white for you! 541 00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:16,833 - Sonia. - Yes, doctor? - Come and clean Gianluca's teeth. 542 00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:22,592 - I'm not very practical. - It doesn't matter, he's my son ... 543 00:48:22,720 --> 00:48:27,316 I've never done it, I'm a little scared. 544 00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:33,037 It's easy and Gianluca is good. Come, I'll teach you. 545 00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:37,553 Go through here. This tool is very sensitive. 546 00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,069 It is very easy. 547 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:43,192 Here you are. Use it gently. 548 00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:49,312 - Dad ... - Shut up! 549 00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:52,432 Open your eyes wide. 550 00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,154 Brava. Chinati. 551 00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:57,874 Your guard! 552 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,992 Look! You're watching? 553 00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:03,353 Me too. 554 00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,274 Wake Up! You're watching? 555 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:12,269 Look at it. She is healing you. 556 00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,392 - Is that okay? - Agonfie sails! 557 00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:19,798 This is the Frankfurt system: Direct contact with the patient. 558 00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:23,913 - Are you sure ... - Shut up! Keep it going. Good boy! 559 00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,110 "Look"! 560 00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:30,437 So, slowly, don't worry. Good boy! 561 00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:37,671 - So I can't move well. - It doesn't matter, I'm moving. 562 00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:42,191 Just stay close to him. And you stay close to her. 563 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:46,279 - Stay "stuck"! - Dad, what do we do? 564 00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,517 - This is the Barletta technique. - Barletta? 565 00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:55,590 Yes. "The nose against the tit, the more you have, the more you put!" 566 00:49:56,720 --> 00:49:59,712 Here is the blessing, now you can go. 567 00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,477 - Tell me, son. - We're on horseback! 568 00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:08,991 - Peppino! Not even in the confessional do you leave me alone! - Excuse me. 569 00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:14,114 - I said we're on horseback ... - How? - There is no sound! 570 00:50:14,240 --> 00:50:19,837 (aloud) Prepare the wedding. - Did you find a good girl? 571 00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:23,953 It's Sonia! The girl you sent me. 572 00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:28,073 It is beautiful and my son is cooked. They will have four children ... 573 00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:33,957 ... and the inheritance will be mine. - The girl didn't tell me anything. 574 00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:37,152 - He still doesn't know. - How? 575 00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:40,272 (aloud) He still doesn't know. 576 00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:45,073 - Can you hear me now? - What are you doing? - I can't speak to the grate! 577 00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:50,593 - Speak slowly. - You don't know, I decided. Here you come in. 578 00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:53,712 - The? - Ahh! - Shh! 579 00:50:56,240 --> 00:50:58,834 Damn the misery! 580 00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:05,953 - You have to help me. - No. - Yes, yes. - Ninth. 581 00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,675 - Do you want to treat your teeth? - Yup. 582 00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:15,796 - We've known each other since we were kids, you're like a dad. - Yup! 583 00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:21,711 - Inheritance goes to your head. - I'm not doing it for me. 584 00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:25,833 I do it for the balls on the coat of arms and for the honor of the family. 585 00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:29,953 If that doesn't marry my son, I'm screwed! 586 00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:35,876 Don't shed crocodile tears, I don't believe a single word! 587 00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,992 Then I'll tell you jokingly. If that doesn't marry my son ... 588 00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:43,113 ... I'm screwed. And I'll kill myself. Do I do it in the church next to Jesus? 589 00:51:43,240 --> 00:51:47,028 Peppino! Do you know who Sonia is? 590 00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:51,756 What does it matter to me? I just want you to make me four grandchildren. 591 00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:55,873 Two males and two females. I don't care if she does them for 7 months ... 592 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:59,993 ... the septets are sons of bitches. Screwed! We are one to one. 593 00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:05,514 Sonia ... let's say ... she had a past. 594 00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:09,030 You mean it's a pu ... a peripatetic? 595 00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:14,154 No, but he has had experiences. 596 00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:19,673 She has had experiences, he has not, there is the law of compensation. 597 00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:24,032 But she is a good girl, she studied with the nuns ... 598 00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:28,597 ... has changed his life and is now looking for a good accommodation. 599 00:52:28,720 --> 00:52:35,512 Modestly, I can offer you ... Ahh! 600 00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,271 Tu li hai! 601 00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:42,712 I can offer her accommodation and wealth, but you must help me. 602 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:47,231 No, for you, no! I will do it only for the happiness of Gianluca! 603 00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:50,352 Thank you. But there is a problem. 604 00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:54,473 I have to tell you the truth. These are all my ideas. 605 00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:58,195 - My son still doesn't know anything. - He does not know? 606 00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:03,110 - Not yet. - What if he doesn't want it? - Does not want? 607 00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:07,233 Do not make me laugh! He can't tell me no, I'm the father! 608 00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:11,558 I break his fifth vertebra and then I spit in his face! 609 00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:12,669 Excuse me. 610 00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:23,075 Peppino, such a hasty engagement with a nurse! 611 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:27,193 - I wanted something more for him. - Let's say she's a doctor! 612 00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:32,713 Now things are done! "ACaporetto capo ha"! Wait up. 613 00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:43,674 - I have to tell you something. - Pope! - Stop this bullshit! 614 00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:47,588 - Here in front of everyone? - Yes. Fuck you! 615 00:53:47,720 --> 00:53:51,713 Don't scare me, I'll break your biceps. 616 00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:59,791 - Peppino, we're here, all right. - Does everything have to go wrong? 617 00:53:59,920 --> 00:54:03,913 - You are beautiful! Give me a kiss. - Give your boyfriend a kiss. 618 00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:10,034 - What a pretty girl! - And then they call him ricchione! 619 00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:16,548 We made it, finally! Tiè! 620 00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:23,070 - When its needed its needed. Shall we go to church? - Yup. 621 00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:26,988 After you. See, dear? 622 00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:32,068 - How happy I am! - Why are you always crying? 623 00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:38,433 WEDDING MARCH 624 00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:48,551 Cheer! 625 00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:55,878 Here! You take! 626 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:03,513 You take! 627 00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:06,871 Second! 628 00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:18,070 - Seen? Rice abounds and you are a stranger! - Pig! 629 00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:22,591 - Greetings, my son. Right back at you. - Peppino! - Who is? 630 00:55:22,720 --> 00:55:25,518 Don Cosimo! Thank you. 631 00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:30,031 - Compliments. - When will we meet? - Later. 632 00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,352 Dear notary, have you seen? We are in the first act. 633 00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:37,870 Thank you all. Don't always cry! 634 00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:42,994 Interest reached 55,555,000 lire. 635 00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:48,114 I have foreclosed on all the wedding presents. 636 00:55:48,240 --> 00:55:53,234 - It was necessary? - Yes. - Goodbye. Treats to his wife. 637 00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:58,388 - Say hello to your whole family. Exquisite person. - Comets! 638 00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:02,911 - He doesn't look like a fagot! - The ways of the Lord ... 639 00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:05,838 ... and those of sex are endless. 640 00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:09,953 - All right for a photo. - A photo! 641 00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:14,437 - Come on. - Squeeze and you spread out. 642 00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:19,554 There are no relatives of the bride, so they are all my relatives! 643 00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:22,592 One moment, I'll put on my hat. 644 00:56:22,720 --> 00:56:26,713 - Widen in the center. - Let's get bigger. Well done. 645 00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:30,355 You smile! It is not a funeral, you are the bridegroom! 646 00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:32,471 Ready! 647 00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:34,713 Fermi! 648 00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:43,596 - Goodbye, lawyer. - Greetings, Baron. - Until we meet again. 649 00:56:43,720 --> 00:56:47,918 - Dear Engineer. - Good night, Baron. 650 00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:52,433 - Goodbye, notary. - Wonderful party, Baron! 651 00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:55,950 - Thank you. - Congratulations. - Thank you! 652 00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:59,072 Happy fucking, if you don't give me the inheritance right away! 653 00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:02,988 The hour has struck! Maria! 654 00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:07,511 MARIA CRIES - Maria! - What happened? 655 00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:11,235 Maria, don't always cry! 656 00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:16,354 - Are the newlyweds in bed? - Yes. - Did you take the tonic? - Yup. 657 00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:20,871 - Did you have the intravenous injection of Gerovital? - Yup. 658 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:24,993 Stop crying, you have to shut up! 659 00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:29,113 - I'll go check what they do. - Because? - It's our interest. 660 00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:35,671 You have to decide! Either cry or eat! 661 00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:38,792 You cry! At least you don't get fat! 662 00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:42,913 - What's that for? - Shut up! Mind your own business! 663 00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:46,032 Ahh! MARIA CRIES 664 00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:48,151 Shh! 665 00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:35,113 Our daughter-in-law has two boobs! 666 00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:39,233 - Are you tired, Gianluca? - A bit'. 667 00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:43,751 Relax, love. 668 00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:51,350 - Do I like you? - Yup. 669 00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:57,476 - Let's go. - Gianluca does nothing. - He'll be tired, poor thing! 670 00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:01,388 - The first night I made 32. - It was 29! 671 00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:15,278 - Peppino, what happened? - She undressed! 672 00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:18,790 Gianluca! You fell asleep? 673 00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:22,515 Love, look at me! 674 00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:39,070 - Here we are! It's done! - That's good! 675 00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:42,590 - Did Mom tell you anything? - Yup. 676 00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:47,714 (in a drunken voice) He told me a lot of all kinds of things. 677 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,149 You're drunk? 678 00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:52,271 Gianluca! 679 00:59:55,400 --> 01:00:00,155 - Love, come here. What do you have? - I feel sleepy. - Are you afraid of me? 680 01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:07,072 - I'm tired and I drank too much. - Let me do it. 681 01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:11,553 - Then? - Nothing. Gianluca is like this ... - He's excited! 682 01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:14,399 Come on! You come! 683 01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:19,310 She's taking him to the bathroom. Wet son, lucky son! 684 01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:28,719 - You will see that you pass the hangover! - Plan! 685 01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:05,072 That's okay ... 686 01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:19,072 - Peppino, what do you want to do? - Silence! 687 01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,998 What are you thinking about? 688 01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:27,114 Our son is only aroused by fear. I'll play him a treat! 689 01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:30,232 I think you're going crazy! 690 01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:37,354 SPEECH IN GERMAN BY THE RECORDER 691 01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:44,274 - What are you doing? - I was wrong, damn it! 692 01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:50,394 - Maybe it's the other side. - You're going crazy! - I'm going back now. 693 01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:57,110 NOISE OF BOMBING FROM THE RECORDER 694 01:01:57,240 --> 01:02:00,312 - What happen? - Wait up. 695 01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:05,833 No! Just now that I had succeeded! 696 01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:09,748 I'm sorry, can't you hear? Beyond is the war! 697 01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:16,278 - What's up? - Ahh! 698 01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:30,793 IMITATE THE SOUND OF THE TRUMPET 699 01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:34,515 8 million bayonets ... 700 01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:39,031 ... they opened the trench ... Ah! The head! 701 01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:42,550 Is the war over? Where am I? 702 01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,511 Peppino! 703 01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:48,633 How do you feel, Peppino? 704 01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:52,753 How the head weighs! And how it turns! 705 01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:56,873 - Our son is a wretch! I'll kill him! - Do not panic. 706 01:02:57,000 --> 01:03:00,595 - Calm down. - I'll kill him! 707 01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:04,315 - Do not panic. - I choke him! 708 01:03:04,440 --> 01:03:07,432 She was undressing and he ... 709 01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:11,553 - What a headache! What time is it? - 10.00. 710 01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:17,676 - In the morning? - Yes. - Ah! What a headache! - I believe! 711 01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:23,193 - Have they consumed? - Yes, a coffee. 712 01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:26,111 A coffee! 713 01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:30,631 - I want to know if they did ... - I don't know, I think so. 714 01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:35,151 - Where am I now? - Honeymoon in Capri. They will call. 715 01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:38,750 That's better. I sleep. 716 01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:42,668 - Wake me up in nine months. - Yes. - With a coffee! 717 01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:52,274 - How happy I am! My dear grandchildren! - Auntie! 718 01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:55,790 Here is your aunt! Look what a hypocritical smile! 719 01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:58,912 - It is not his fault! - For real? 720 01:03:59,040 --> 01:04:02,635 So why have we been here for 8 hours and we don't have the room yet? 721 01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:05,513 How are my dear doves? 722 01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:10,031 - Bored, tired and nervous. - Yes, but don't worry ... 723 01:04:10,160 --> 01:04:15,154 ... your room is ready. - It was time! 724 01:04:15,280 --> 01:04:19,751 But first there is a nice surprise for you! 725 01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:22,872 - Another one? - Yup! 726 01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:27,791 - Who I am? - Piero! 727 01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:33,913 - I just came from the academy. - What elegance! 728 01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:38,431 Sonia, this is my cousin Piero, Aunt Linda's son. 729 01:04:38,560 --> 01:04:43,554 You are Sonia, Gianluca's wife, so you are my new cousin! 730 01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:46,591 Already! 731 01:04:50,480 --> 01:04:55,474 Sons of bitches, bastards! Why are you angry with my family? 732 01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:58,592 They made him horns! 733 01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:04,716 Already the horns! He's just married! It's that old man's fault! 734 01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:08,833 Today is Tuesday, it's 4pm. They're in Capri, I think. 735 01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:11,952 Hotel Miramare. 736 01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:14,071 There is the sea! 737 01:05:14,200 --> 01:05:20,196 Zero, eight, one, four, three, two, one. 738 01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:26,314 Ready? I am Baron Patanè. Is there my son, the Baroncino? 739 01:05:28,080 --> 01:05:31,470 How? No, you are wrong ... 740 01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:36,594 ... I'm on my honeymoon there at the Hotel Miramare! 741 01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:39,712 You don't cry out! Who the fuck does he think he is? 742 01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:44,675 I am Baron Patanè! Go fuck it! It preceded me. 743 01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:50,873 - Maria, someone is betraying us. - What happens? 744 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:55,994 - The two boys are not in Capri! - No? - I phoned. 745 01:05:56,120 --> 01:06:00,113 - Where am I? - I know nothing. - Do you know something! 746 01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:04,233 I didn't feel like sending them to an unfamiliar place. 747 01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:09,753 - Where am I? - Ataranto, at your sister Linda's hotel! 748 01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,235 No! The strozzaminchie! 749 01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:17,150 He insisted so much! He wanted to assist them, take care of their food. 750 01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:21,273 She gives him nothing to eat! Indeed it gives him bromide ... 751 01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:25,188 ... so he becomes limp and does not have children. I have to leave! 752 01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:28,710 - Where do you go? - Hunting. - Hunting? - Yup. 753 01:06:28,840 --> 01:06:33,834 - Peppino, don't be crazy! - No, I'm a gentleman. 754 01:06:33,960 --> 01:06:38,670 - I'll kill him! - My Madonna! What a horror! 755 01:06:45,720 --> 01:06:48,518 At the hotel of the strozzaminchie! 756 01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:52,030 She wants the inheritance, who knows what she's done! 757 01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:06,792 PHONE RINGS 758 01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:13,115 - Yup? What's up? - There's Peppino. 759 01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:18,360 - Is Peppino with the gun? - With the rifle? 760 01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:27,910 Here's what the chokehold's plan is: Piero! 761 01:07:28,040 --> 01:07:31,476 If Sonia falls in love with Piero, who does my son have a child with? 762 01:07:33,680 --> 01:07:37,275 Now the days are numbered, there are only nine months left. 763 01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:40,392 The accounts add up and the barons do not proliferate. 764 01:07:43,080 --> 01:07:47,073 He's courting her! As General Famigliulo said ... 765 01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:50,636 ... "it is urgent to find another ..." I never rhyme! 766 01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:53,752 PHONE RINGS 767 01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:58,270 - Hello? - Lia, it's me. - Who's talking? 768 01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:00,391 I'm Peppino. 769 01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:05,116 Peppino! Did you know that Cosimo has left! 770 01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:08,232 - Are you in the studio? - No, in Taranto. 771 01:08:08,360 --> 01:08:12,353 - Lia, I need you. - Like this? In remote dialing? 772 01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:15,472 Can it be? Tell me how to do it! 773 01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:18,592 He takes the handset and puts himself on top of the token! 774 01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:21,917 I need to see you, it's a matter of life or death! 775 01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:27,034 - Gianluca again! - Unfortunately, yes, but this time it's a different thing. 776 01:08:27,160 --> 01:08:30,152 Lia, if you join me here ... 777 01:08:30,280 --> 01:08:35,274 ... let's do the position 78 of the Kamasutra! 778 01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:40,190 - How wonderful! I'll come right away! - I am waiting for you. Hello. 779 01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:47,271 With this stuff the cadet sleeps until Lia arrives. 780 01:08:47,400 --> 01:08:51,871 - Pope! - Auntie dear! - Salutations! 781 01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:54,992 I have a little itch. He how are you? 782 01:08:55,120 --> 01:08:59,159 Get down, otherwise how do I kiss you? Hello. 783 01:08:59,280 --> 01:09:02,078 Accomodatevi. 784 01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:05,192 - Today is a beautiful day! - Yup. 785 01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:10,713 - Dad, it's not what you think. - For heaven's sake, I didn't say anything! 786 01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:14,833 - You won't think ... - Don't worry, I'm a 'sailed' man! 787 01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:18,953 I do not care! We drink. Let's celebrate your license. 788 01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:23,073 - Take this, there's more gin. - No, I want this. 789 01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:26,988 Take this, it's more alcoholic. 790 01:09:27,120 --> 01:09:30,908 - I want this. - Take this, it's better. 791 01:09:31,040 --> 01:09:34,430 This to you and this to me. 792 01:09:34,560 --> 01:09:37,358 Drink! You are young. 793 01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:46,674 Good? Drink it all out of one breath like me! 794 01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:50,311 Drink! 795 01:09:57,400 --> 01:09:58,913 That is fine? 796 01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:06,033 - How do you feel? - Very well! 797 01:10:07,080 --> 01:10:11,676 Is nice! Tall and slender, I like it! 798 01:10:14,200 --> 01:10:19,797 - Are you sleepy? - Not me and you? - No, not at this time! 799 01:10:24,520 --> 01:10:28,035 - Are you OK? - Yes, but why do you keep asking me? 800 01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:31,152 Since you took a bath ... 801 01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:41,230 It makes me laugh! 802 01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:46,878 I don't even want to think about it! 803 01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:49,992 Maybe I got confused and I ... 804 01:10:50,120 --> 01:10:52,509 I risked dying! 805 01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:04,992 I am expected by Mr. Patanè, I am Mrs. Mancuso. 806 01:11:05,120 --> 01:11:09,113 Mrs Mancuso! PHONE RINGS 807 01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:14,909 - Hello? What's up? - Mrs. Mancuso is in the hall. 808 01:11:15,040 --> 01:11:19,750 - Mrs. Mancuso is here! - My wife? 809 01:11:19,880 --> 01:11:24,476 Is there much to wait? I want to speak to Mr. Patanè. 810 01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:29,037 I'll pass Baron Patanè straight away. 811 01:11:29,160 --> 01:11:32,152 PHONE RINGS 812 01:11:32,280 --> 01:11:37,274 - What is that? - The phone. - How long have I slept? - Two hours. 813 01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:41,393 - No, I answer. - Hello? 814 01:11:41,520 --> 01:11:45,798 - Who is? - Dear, I'm here waiting for you. - Who are you? 815 01:11:45,920 --> 01:11:49,913 - Lia, dear. - Lia! 816 01:11:50,040 --> 01:11:54,079 - The engineer. - Say, engineer. 817 01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:59,274 You made me come here to "zig zag"! 818 01:11:59,400 --> 01:12:03,188 Zig Zag? We have to build a zigzag road. 819 01:12:03,320 --> 01:12:06,835 - I'm going up. - I'm coming down. - No, I'll go up! 820 01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:12,956 No, don't go up! I am in my son's room he has to do ... 821 01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:15,071 See you. 822 01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:17,589 He is the engineer. 823 01:12:17,720 --> 01:12:21,713 - We have to build a thing ... - All right, Dad, goodbye. 824 01:12:21,840 --> 01:12:27,233 Goodbye? See you soon. Do you think I'm sleeping? 825 01:12:27,360 --> 01:12:30,352 YAWAY Don't move. 826 01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:32,789 This does not move! 827 01:12:37,360 --> 01:12:40,352 NOISE OF CRACKING SHOES 828 01:12:40,480 --> 01:12:44,871 Cuckold shoes. Then it's Cosimo! Blessed Madonna! 829 01:12:58,480 --> 01:13:02,473 The cornutone! He followed Lia. That shoots! 830 01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:05,794 Damn the bitch! 831 01:13:07,200 --> 01:13:12,194 If the mountain doesn't go to Mohammed ... I'll go to Peppino! 832 01:13:20,280 --> 01:13:23,272 Lia! Lia! 833 01:13:23,400 --> 01:13:26,710 Lia, where are you? There's your husband, he shoots us both! 834 01:13:26,840 --> 01:13:30,549 - Where is Peppino? - He woke up and went to the lobby. 835 01:13:30,680 --> 01:13:31,954 No! 836 01:13:35,480 --> 01:13:36,595 No! 837 01:13:36,720 --> 01:13:40,110 - Why not? - Sonia ... 838 01:13:40,240 --> 01:13:44,233 - Have you seen Peppino? - He's gone! - Excuse me. 839 01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:48,352 Do we want to consummate this marriage? 840 01:13:48,480 --> 01:13:50,072 Yup. 841 01:13:53,200 --> 01:13:58,194 - Sorry, have you seen Peppino? - He got out. - Excuse me. 842 01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:09,071 - Um! Have you seen Linda? - It's gone down. - Excuse me. 843 01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:19,274 - Have you seen Linda, Piero, Lia and Cosimo? - Yes, they got out! 844 01:14:19,400 --> 01:14:22,392 - Do not get mad! - Learn to knock on the door! 845 01:14:23,320 --> 01:14:26,312 Because? 846 01:14:26,440 --> 01:14:31,434 Why does everyone have to piss me off right now? 847 01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:34,552 Dear Gianluca, I'm really annoyed! 848 01:14:35,560 --> 01:14:38,950 Song: "Wife is better in white, lover is better peppered ... 849 01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:44,029 "... and the husband is cooked with garlic, oil and turnip greens." 850 01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:47,948 "Lunch is delicious, the taste is delicate ..." 851 01:14:48,080 --> 01:14:51,675 "... you will be a little cuckold but you are not beaten anymore." 852 01:14:51,800 --> 01:14:53,392 Ahh! 853 01:15:00,280 --> 01:15:04,273 "He calls you 'cicciolino', 'darling', 'pacioccone' ..." 854 01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:08,188 "... but with the beautiful friend then he burns you in a cauldron." 855 01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:09,753 Oh mama! 856 01:15:09,880 --> 01:15:12,872 "Your friend is nice, your wife is beautiful too." 857 01:15:13,000 --> 01:15:17,232 "With her eyes she undresses it and then she gets cravings." 858 01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:22,752 They touch me! Is busy. 859 01:15:30,280 --> 01:15:35,070 - Always stay in the middle, damn! - Strozzaminchie! 860 01:15:35,200 --> 01:15:37,236 What do I do with these madmen? 861 01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:41,478 - Do not touch me. - Who touches you! - You disgust me! - You too. 862 01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:44,592 It is really hard to be a wife! 863 01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:49,830 But I'll make it! In spite of everyone! 864 01:15:53,960 --> 01:15:56,952 - Now enough, I'm bored! - Sonia! 865 01:15:57,080 --> 01:16:00,470 I'll fix everything, you don't worry. 866 01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:16,992 - Sonia. - Here's the first. 867 01:16:17,120 --> 01:16:20,510 - I was waiting for you. - 322! 868 01:16:20,640 --> 01:16:23,757 - What? - Room 322. 869 01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:27,072 - Room 322. - Leave me. 870 01:16:27,200 --> 01:16:33,196 - After you! Room 322. - What am I going to do there? 871 01:16:39,280 --> 01:16:42,192 - Halt! - You are welcome? - Room 321. 872 01:16:42,320 --> 01:16:46,313 - But ... - I said room 321! 873 01:16:46,440 --> 01:16:50,433 - Because? - There's a surprise for you. 874 01:16:50,560 --> 01:16:54,348 Stanza 321! 875 01:16:59,880 --> 01:17:03,668 - Sonia! - She too! 876 01:17:03,800 --> 01:17:07,793 - Mum! - Sonia, what a joy! 877 01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:13,916 - How is Gianluca? Ate? - Yes. - Have you slept? - All time! 878 01:17:14,040 --> 01:17:17,635 - Now where? - Room 321. 879 01:17:17,760 --> 01:17:21,548 I go to my baby. Hello. 880 01:17:25,080 --> 01:17:28,675 - No! Please don't push me! - Come on! 881 01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:34,716 - What do you want to do? - Don't leave the room! 882 01:17:35,280 --> 01:17:39,671 - Get your hands off me! - Come in! - Do I have to go in? 883 01:17:39,800 --> 01:17:42,394 - I enter. - Come in! 884 01:17:45,480 --> 01:17:49,268 And what if some mess happens? 885 01:17:52,760 --> 01:17:55,558 To us two, Gianluca! 886 01:17:55,680 --> 01:17:59,275 "Come in and stay there." And I'm here! 887 01:18:02,280 --> 01:18:05,272 COUGH SHOTS 888 01:18:09,080 --> 01:18:13,073 What a strange cat! Kitty, kitty ... COUGH SHOT 889 01:18:18,200 --> 01:18:21,192 COUGH SHOT Here is the cat! 890 01:18:21,320 --> 01:18:25,711 > Who is it? - I'm Baron Patanè. My daughter-in-law forced me ... 891 01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:29,638 - Strozzaminchie! - Whorehouse! 892 01:18:29,760 --> 01:18:32,752 - Unfortunate! What did you do to my son? - The? 893 01:18:32,880 --> 01:18:36,873 - You gave him bromide so he can't do it! - The? 894 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:39,992 You are the father of a ricchione! 895 01:18:40,120 --> 01:18:45,148 You sent your son because you don't want my son to have a baby. 896 01:18:49,280 --> 01:18:51,953 This is Don Peppino's rifle. 897 01:18:52,080 --> 01:18:56,073 - Monster! Monster! - I'm your! 898 01:18:56,800 --> 01:19:00,588 Strozzaminchie! Strozzaminchie! 899 01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:04,715 Little monster! Little monster! 900 01:19:04,840 --> 01:19:09,436 Strozzaminchiette! Strozzaminchiette! 901 01:19:09,560 --> 01:19:13,553 Show it off! Show it off! 902 01:19:13,960 --> 01:19:18,670 - Strozzaminchione! Strozzaminchione! - Load! 903 01:19:27,200 --> 01:19:30,192 Now I really want to have fun! 904 01:19:31,520 --> 01:19:35,718 - Heaven! My husband! - Don Peppino! 905 01:19:35,840 --> 01:19:39,833 URLACONFUSE 906 01:19:44,240 --> 01:19:46,913 - Strozzaminchie! - Then I'll choke you! 907 01:19:47,040 --> 01:19:49,759 Ahh! 908 01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:56,478 - Shall we go for it? - Yes, let's go! 909 01:19:56,600 --> 01:19:59,239 - I'll throw you downstairs. - I do it by myself. 910 01:20:02,840 --> 01:20:05,798 - Do you think I'm afraid? - Ahh! 911 01:20:19,680 --> 01:20:21,477 Who are you? 912 01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:25,593 You two were together, wretches! 913 01:20:28,520 --> 01:20:31,512 All your fault, unfortunate stranger! 914 01:20:31,640 --> 01:20:34,154 Maria, come here, I'll eat you! 915 01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:38,712 URLACONFUSE 916 01:21:08,880 --> 01:21:13,874 - Gianluca! - It happens to me when I get scared. 917 01:22:19,480 --> 01:22:22,278 What do you want to call it? 918 01:22:22,400 --> 01:22:25,198 Calogero, Giuseppe, Maria, Federico. 919 01:22:25,320 --> 01:22:29,916 I baptize you with the name of Calogero, Giuseppe, Maria, Federico. 920 01:22:30,040 --> 01:22:33,032 Just Calogero and Giuseppe, or rather Peppino. 921 01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:42,879 I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 922 01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:46,993 MARIA CRIES Hey! Is working. 923 01:22:48,520 --> 01:22:53,514 Hurry up. Here, the ceremony is over. 924 01:22:54,280 --> 01:22:56,271 Dammelo. 925 01:22:58,400 --> 01:23:02,188 - How cute! - Here is Calogerino! 926 01:23:02,320 --> 01:23:06,313 - Beautiful! - Stay still! You scare him. 927 01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:10,228 - Your father is really unpleasant. - This is Uncle Cosimo ... 928 01:23:10,360 --> 01:23:13,352 ... that I always give money to shooting range. 929 01:23:13,480 --> 01:23:17,075 He is holding a candle, luckily not the rifle! 930 01:23:17,480 --> 01:23:21,473 - It's all his grandfather. - He also has a mustache! 931 01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:24,592 Here is your little cousin Piero ... 932 01:23:24,720 --> 01:23:28,508 He is a cadet and wants to be the wives of others. 933 01:23:28,640 --> 01:23:31,632 This is Aunt Linda. 934 01:23:32,760 --> 01:23:35,752 Make Aunt Linda a parnacchietta. He doesn't know how to do it. 935 01:23:35,880 --> 01:23:37,871 I do it. 936 01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:40,992 Mr. Notary, have you seen? 937 01:23:41,120 --> 01:23:43,918 Look here, it's male! 938 01:23:44,040 --> 01:23:48,716 Now let's go to the population that awaits us. Calogero, the people. 939 01:23:52,080 --> 01:23:55,072 Calogerino, "the people". 940 01:23:56,080 --> 01:23:59,072 Here they are! 941 01:24:01,680 --> 01:24:06,151 - Hurray! - Make another one now! 942 01:24:06,280 --> 01:24:09,670 It's difficult! My son doesn't repeat, he's like Paganini! 943 01:24:17,280 --> 01:24:19,555 "Thank you." 944 01:24:21,480 --> 01:24:24,472 Mr. Catafalco! Can you hear me? 945 01:24:25,480 --> 01:24:29,075 I want to tell you something. Sorry, here. 946 01:24:31,200 --> 01:24:33,191 Third! 947 01:24:33,640 --> 01:24:36,632 What a satisfaction! 948 01:24:43,280 --> 01:24:48,479 Italians, citizens, fellow villagers near and far ... 949 01:24:48,600 --> 01:24:52,991 ... I have to tell you something important. Today I got rich! That is... 950 01:24:53,120 --> 01:24:57,910 ... my family has been enriched by another male: Calogero Patanè. 951 01:24:58,040 --> 01:25:01,032 Which cheered us on to another male member. 952 01:25:01,160 --> 01:25:06,154 And when I say "member" I mean the true sense of the word! 953 01:25:06,280 --> 01:25:09,875 Without subterfuge. Reality: Male! 954 01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:12,468 Now another good news. 955 01:25:12,600 --> 01:25:16,991 Dear girls aged 13 to 70, be careful! 956 01:25:17,120 --> 01:25:20,510 Calogerino is not joking, he took from his grandfather! 957 01:25:20,640 --> 01:25:23,632 He will also follow the family tradition. 958 01:25:23,760 --> 01:25:26,672 As the great poet said in canticle thirty-three ... 959 01:25:26,800 --> 01:25:30,793 ... no woman has ever gone blank with a Patanè. 960 01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:42,514 Men and women of little faith, poets, authors and writers ... 961 01:25:42,640 --> 01:25:47,873 ... especially those of anonymous letters, sons of bitches ... 962 01:25:48,000 --> 01:25:53,074 ... remember that the Patanè do not make fun of themselves. Who do it... 963 01:25:53,200 --> 01:25:57,318 ... must go through a lot of trouble. Calogerino is male ... 964 01:25:57,440 --> 01:26:00,796 ... like all Patanè in direct line. 965 01:26:12,280 --> 01:26:15,670 Pissing on grandpa's face brings good luck! 79374

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