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Subtitle By---KingJAIN
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[Clock Chiming]
5
00:01:12,645 --> 00:01:13,558
[Baby Crying]
6
00:02:54,363 --> 00:02:57,033
[Woman] Hey, look!
It's the President!
7
00:02:58,367 --> 00:02:59,836
And the Pope!
8
00:03:04,212 --> 00:03:06,370
Yee-aah! Yah!
9
00:03:06,457 --> 00:03:08,458
Ooh-la-la-la-la-la!
10
00:03:09,544 --> 00:03:10,327
Ow!
11
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,000
- Waah!
- Waah!
12
00:03:14,967 --> 00:03:19,346
[Man] Oh, my God! Look!
It's disgruntled postal workers.
13
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:20,743
[Click]
14
00:03:37,198 --> 00:03:40,618
Wait a minute!
Give me my baby back!
15
00:03:44,927 --> 00:03:45,941
Aah! Aah!
16
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:46,641
Frank!
17
00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:50,336
Frank, are you all right?
I'm soaking wet.
18
00:03:50,544 --> 00:03:52,838
I'll get the talcum powder.
No, no it's not that.
19
00:03:53,047 --> 00:03:56,300
I had a nightmare.
There was crime all around me, I couldn't stop it.
20
00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:59,845
Oh, Frank, it was just a dream.
You're right.
21
00:04:00,012 --> 00:04:04,350
All I need is a good night's rest.
In the morning everything will be just fine.
22
00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:06,950
- Aah!
- Aah!
23
00:04:07,037 --> 00:04:09,533
- Aah!
- Aah!
24
00:04:52,057 --> 00:04:52,614
Whoa!
25
00:04:52,758 --> 00:04:53,701
[Whistle Blows]
26
00:05:00,790 --> 00:05:01,964
Show me what you got!
27
00:05:04,439 --> 00:05:05,252
Ow!
28
00:05:06,661 --> 00:05:08,531
[Bells Ring]
29
00:05:28,892 --> 00:05:30,624
- Oh!
- Oh!
30
00:05:36,473 --> 00:05:38,191
- Aah!
- Aah!
31
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:45,077
Ah-ha ha ha ha ha!
32
00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:52,209
[Beep]
33
00:06:54,384 --> 00:06:55,210
[Buzzer]
34
00:07:24,383 --> 00:07:28,053
How's my little boy?
Getting along OK, sweetie?
35
00:07:28,262 --> 00:07:30,534
About as well as a heterosexual
can in prison.
36
00:07:31,062 --> 00:07:33,434
I don't know how much longer
I can take it in here.
37
00:07:33,501 --> 00:07:36,103
- Ma, How's Tanya?
- Tanya's the same.
38
00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:40,024
Milky, creamy skin,
pouting red lips, firm buttocks,
39
00:07:40,191 --> 00:07:43,394
ample breasts, ears you just love
to stick your tongue into...
40
00:07:43,614 --> 00:07:46,032
Ma, please I am gonna get guy cramps
if you keep this up.
41
00:07:46,319 --> 00:07:46,919
Sorry.
42
00:07:47,406 --> 00:07:49,442
Rocco, there's somebody here
to see you.
43
00:07:55,022 --> 00:07:56,207
Pahpshmir!
44
00:07:57,291 --> 00:07:59,609
My people are very upset.
45
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,531
They're always upset.
They're Arab terrorists.
46
00:08:02,727 --> 00:08:03,985
Ma, please.
47
00:08:04,227 --> 00:08:05,010
You're supposed to be
48
00:08:05,054 --> 00:08:06,933
the foremost terrorist bomber
in the world...
49
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,012
train stations, department stores,
government buildings.
50
00:08:10,099 --> 00:08:11,535
The devastation in south Florida?
51
00:08:11,577 --> 00:08:13,013
That was Hurricane Andrew.
52
00:08:13,056 --> 00:08:14,839
That's what they told the public.
53
00:08:15,643 --> 00:08:18,048
No matter we wanted to embarrass
the United States,
54
00:08:18,215 --> 00:08:20,648
Now you've made the police
look like international heroes.
55
00:08:20,815 --> 00:08:24,777
I told you. A first-class job
would cost five million.
56
00:08:25,085 --> 00:08:27,321
Now if you want to step up to the price,
57
00:08:27,488 --> 00:08:32,284
I got a target that'll make City Hall
look like chicken feed.
58
00:08:34,762 --> 00:08:36,066
That's a pretty big target.
59
00:08:36,462 --> 00:08:39,166
but why should I think anything
would be different?
60
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:41,460
Because five million dollars buys me!
61
00:08:42,753 --> 00:08:44,547
I'm breaking out of here.
62
00:08:44,653 --> 00:08:50,877
All right, but fail this time, Mr. Dillon,
my people won't be so forgiving.
63
00:08:51,011 --> 00:08:51,906
Fail?
64
00:08:52,161 --> 00:08:55,306
Show me one man
who can stop me.
65
00:08:56,015 --> 00:08:58,372
[Hip To Be Square Plays]
66
00:09:10,293 --> 00:09:12,376
♫ I used to be a renegade ♫
67
00:09:13,506 --> 00:09:15,072
♫ I used to fool around ♫
68
00:09:16,769 --> 00:09:18,160
♫ But I couldn't take ♫
69
00:09:18,247 --> 00:09:19,334
♫ The punishment ♫
70
00:09:19,421 --> 00:09:23,031
♫ And had to settle down ♫
71
00:09:24,074 --> 00:09:26,466
♫ Now I'm playing it real straight ♫
72
00:09:26,553 --> 00:09:29,815
♫ And, yes, I cut my hair... ♫
73
00:09:30,302 --> 00:09:31,207
Attention, shoppers.
74
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:33,034
Be sure to check out
our special on paper towels
75
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,643
on aisle 7.
76
00:09:35,729 --> 00:09:38,035
♫ It's hip to be square ♫
77
00:09:38,421 --> 00:09:39,513
That's aisle 7.
78
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,340
♫ It's hip to be square... ♫
79
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:44,428
Aah!
80
00:09:45,483 --> 00:09:46,515
Hey!
81
00:09:47,902 --> 00:09:48,298
Help!
82
00:09:48,385 --> 00:09:49,907
Give it to me!
83
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,908
My purse!
Somebody help me!
84
00:09:52,573 --> 00:09:54,967
- Let go of the purse, lady!
- Hey, help me!
85
00:09:55,152 --> 00:09:56,430
♫ He's a jolly good fellow ♫
86
00:09:56,474 --> 00:09:58,910
♫ For he's a jolly good fellow ♫
87
00:09:58,952 --> 00:10:02,823
♫ For he's a jolly good fellow ♫
88
00:10:03,334 --> 00:10:06,670
♫ which nobody can deny ♫
89
00:10:07,303 --> 00:10:09,043
Hear! Hear!
90
00:10:10,129 --> 00:10:10,564
Well...
91
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:13,565
we shot a lot
of people together.
92
00:10:13,653 --> 00:10:15,087
It's been great.
93
00:10:15,131 --> 00:10:16,566
But today I retire,
94
00:10:17,453 --> 00:10:18,567
so if I do any shooting now,
95
00:10:18,653 --> 00:10:21,089
it'll have to be
within the confines of my own home.
96
00:10:22,176 --> 00:10:23,089
Hopefully, it will be an intruder
97
00:10:23,177 --> 00:10:25,569
and not an in-law
like at my bachelor party.
98
00:10:26,655 --> 00:10:28,134
Well, Ed,
99
00:10:29,221 --> 00:10:30,091
I officially give you my gun...
100
00:10:31,178 --> 00:10:32,570
Oh...
101
00:10:33,657 --> 00:10:36,093
And my... my badge...
102
00:10:36,179 --> 00:10:37,180
Oh.
103
00:10:37,267 --> 00:10:39,094
Oh, I...
104
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,094
And, uh...
105
00:10:41,181 --> 00:10:44,094
Jane and I would like
to keep the handcuffs
106
00:10:44,582 --> 00:10:46,617
as a souvenir.
107
00:10:46,704 --> 00:10:48,139
Oh...
108
00:10:49,127 --> 00:10:51,010
Cheer up, Ed.
This is not good-bye.
109
00:10:51,454 --> 00:10:54,011
It's just
"I won't ever see you again."
110
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:55,620
Oh, Frank.
111
00:10:57,272 --> 00:10:58,186
My purse!
112
00:10:58,889 --> 00:11:02,435
- Somebody help me!
- Out of my way!
113
00:11:02,643 --> 00:11:06,689
- Lieutenant Drebin! Frank! Didn't you see that?
- What? Oh...
114
00:11:06,856 --> 00:11:10,317
Yes, kitty litter.
Two bags for a dollar. Great!
115
00:11:10,644 --> 00:11:11,636
Order in this court.
116
00:11:12,023 --> 00:11:14,059
The jury will disregard
that last statement.
117
00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:16,060
You may continue, Counselor.
118
00:11:16,657 --> 00:11:19,517
The alimony had been set by the court,
isn’t that right, Mr. Clayton?
119
00:11:20,103 --> 00:11:20,982
Yes, but...
120
00:11:21,226 --> 00:11:23,496
But not once have you
paid alimony to my client,
121
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:26,018
in the past two years,
repeatedly defying a court order.
122
00:11:26,105 --> 00:11:27,805
Isn't that right, Mr. Clayton?
123
00:11:27,949 --> 00:11:28,585
I lost her address.
124
00:11:29,028 --> 00:11:30,780
She moved twice.
I couldn't keep up.
125
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,500
Don't lie to me, Mr. Clayton.
126
00:11:32,607 --> 00:11:34,000
You're under oath.
127
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,652
Do you know the penalty for perjury is?
128
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,152
[Babies Crying]
129
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,457
I'll ask you that again.
130
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,457
Objection!
131
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:41,936
Your Honor, l...
132
00:11:41,979 --> 00:11:42,979
Ow, ow.
133
00:11:43,566 --> 00:11:44,284
Jeez.
134
00:11:45,028 --> 00:11:47,085
Counsel is leading the witness.
135
00:11:47,328 --> 00:11:47,850
Sustained.
136
00:11:47,894 --> 00:11:49,154
[Gavel Pounds]
137
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:52,646
Sweetie, Mommy said no pounding
when she's in session.
138
00:11:53,034 --> 00:11:55,808
Please read the prosecution's
last statement to the court.
139
00:11:55,852 --> 00:11:57,983
"Don't lie to me, Mr. Clayton.
You're under oath."
140
00:11:58,027 --> 00:11:58,548
[Burp]
141
00:11:59,036 --> 00:12:00,158
There. That a boy.
142
00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:02,532
"Do you know what the penalty
for perjury is?"
143
00:12:02,719 --> 00:12:03,332
[Burp]
144
00:12:06,237 --> 00:12:07,507
That's all I have, Your Honor.
145
00:12:07,851 --> 00:12:10,008
You may continue,
Ms. Spencer-Drebin.
146
00:12:11,552 --> 00:12:14,161
Uh... prosecution rests.
147
00:12:14,248 --> 00:12:16,510
Defense attorney
Ms. Davis-Jacobsteiner-Laszlo?
148
00:12:17,053 --> 00:12:18,928
I have no further questions,
Your Honor.
149
00:12:19,414 --> 00:12:21,729
Court will recess
until after the morning feed.
150
00:12:21,815 --> 00:12:22,989
[Squeak]
151
00:12:27,077 --> 00:12:28,978
We're going to win this.
I can feel it.
152
00:12:29,164 --> 00:12:30,556
Yes. Of course.
153
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:32,757
I married the wrong man.
154
00:12:34,301 --> 00:12:36,575
I never thought
that was possible.
155
00:12:36,862 --> 00:12:37,853
I beg your pardon?
156
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,733
Oh, nothing.
157
00:12:39,820 --> 00:12:43,212
Louise, there's no such thing
as the wrong man.
158
00:12:43,599 --> 00:12:45,082
You just have to work at it.
159
00:12:46,497 --> 00:12:49,934
Now, let's see.
Mr. and Mrs. Drebin, right?
160
00:12:50,459 --> 00:12:55,881
Now, you two have been married
for six months?
161
00:12:56,048 --> 00:12:59,843
Yes. We really appreciate
you seeing us, Doctor.
162
00:13:00,010 --> 00:13:02,000
You came highly recommended by
our last therapist.
163
00:13:02,471 --> 00:13:05,599
Yes, I was sorry
to hear about his suicide.
164
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,892
You know, I feel it's important
165
00:13:08,036 --> 00:13:09,702
for a couple to get off
on the right foot
166
00:13:09,888 --> 00:13:11,602
and not get caught up in blame.
167
00:13:11,731 --> 00:13:15,635
- Now, which one of you is impotent?
- That would be him.
168
00:13:15,701 --> 00:13:17,278
Ah, yes, of course.
169
00:13:17,445 --> 00:13:20,000
- Why don't you ask who's frigid?
- That would be him also.
170
00:13:20,248 --> 00:13:20,948
Oh..
171
00:13:21,115 --> 00:13:24,900
- How would you know? You're never home.
- He resents the fact that I'm a working woman.
172
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,080
In fact he has no idea
what a woman wants or needs.
173
00:13:28,247 --> 00:13:31,917
- You're so insensitive.
- This isn't that toilet seat thing again, is it?
174
00:13:32,126 --> 00:13:36,547
It's babies, Frank. I want to have a baby
and every time we start to make love,
175
00:13:36,926 --> 00:13:37,747
You have a headache.
176
00:13:37,814 --> 00:13:40,150
I'm not a piece of meat, Jane. I'm trying!
177
00:13:40,217 --> 00:13:44,597
I've got ointments, lotions, creams,
books, things that vibrate...
178
00:13:44,764 --> 00:13:47,074
- Frank!
- Well maybe it's your fault.
179
00:13:47,241 --> 00:13:52,729
Have you tried sexy lingerie?
Some lacy underwear? A black teddy?
180
00:13:52,896 --> 00:13:56,317
- I've tried wearing them all. They don't work.
- Oh!
181
00:13:56,484 --> 00:13:58,402
Frank, Why don't you want
to have a child?
182
00:13:58,569 --> 00:14:02,065
Didn't I try to adopt
that 18-year old Korean girl?
183
00:14:03,532 --> 00:14:07,153
Jane, Frank, here's what I suggest.
184
00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:13,501
Make tonight a special night.
Dinner, wine, romantic music.
185
00:14:13,667 --> 00:14:18,297
Put on the 24-hour Johnny Mathis
station. Just be Jane and Frank.
186
00:14:18,464 --> 00:14:20,466
Lovers!
187
00:14:20,674 --> 00:14:24,804
We haven't had a night like that
in a..in a long time.
188
00:14:25,012 --> 00:14:27,757
- Not together.
- Frank!
189
00:14:29,225 --> 00:14:32,812
Jane, having a baby
is a big responsibility.
190
00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:35,981
It's like being in charge of sanitation
at a Haitian jail.
191
00:14:36,148 --> 00:14:37,892
I'm just frightened.
192
00:14:38,059 --> 00:14:41,487
Frank, let's make tonight something special.
193
00:14:41,695 --> 00:14:44,615
Oh, honey, it's just
that I love you so much.
194
00:14:44,782 --> 00:14:47,410
My little lover sparrow.
195
00:14:47,576 --> 00:14:50,287
My puppy wuppy wuvver.
196
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,873
My little love biscuit.
197
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:57,394
- My little snookie wookums.
- My little lady cheesy puffy.
198
00:14:58,337 --> 00:15:03,508
Mr. and Mrs. Drebin, please, I'm
a diabetic. I think you ought to go now.
199
00:15:04,885 --> 00:15:09,807
- I never thought we'd end this way.
- How did you think we'd end?
200
00:15:11,058 --> 00:15:15,479
I don't know. Some other way.
201
00:15:16,230 --> 00:15:18,983
[Frank Crying]
Oh, Jason, please...
202
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:21,318
Bobbi...
203
00:15:22,611 --> 00:15:27,700
[Doorbell Rings]
- I've been hurt before.
- We have to fight this thing together.
204
00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:33,414
Ed, Nordberg! It's been a long time!
205
00:15:33,581 --> 00:15:36,542
- Hiya, Frank! Good to see you, buddy.
- You look terrific.
206
00:15:36,709 --> 00:15:40,629
Thank you, Ed. I'm taking a step class,
and the little woman got me a Thighmaster for Christmas.
207
00:15:40,796 --> 00:15:43,657
But look at me
Where are my manners? Come on in, Come in!
208
00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:48,012
- How charming!
- Sit, sit sit.
209
00:15:48,179 --> 00:15:53,392
Excuse the mess. It's my ironing day.
I've just frosted some cupcakes.
210
00:15:53,559 --> 00:15:56,187
- Would you care for one?
- Oh, not just now.
211
00:15:56,353 --> 00:15:59,231
Frank, we're having a little problem
with a terrorist threat.
212
00:15:59,398 --> 00:16:02,193
- Police Squad is certain that...
- I'd love a cupcake.
213
00:16:02,359 --> 00:16:05,279
- That coffee smells great.
- I grind my own beans.
214
00:16:05,446 --> 00:16:10,134
Frank, the reason we're here
is we need your help with something.
215
00:16:17,966 --> 00:16:20,169
- Oh, it's great!
- I'd hoped you'd like them.
216
00:16:20,836 --> 00:16:23,947
Made them from scratch.
I'll just get off my feet for a second.
217
00:16:24,014 --> 00:16:28,344
Frank, we may have a lead on a suspect
in the City Hall bombing attempt.
218
00:16:28,411 --> 00:16:29,122
Have a look
219
00:16:29,371 --> 00:16:31,222
These pictures were taken by a
news photographer.
220
00:16:31,388 --> 00:16:34,433
- We think this girl was used as a diversion.
- We've had them enlarged.
221
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:38,171
- They look familiar.
- No, no, Frank, the pin. She's a nurse.
222
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,973
All right yeah.
Can I, I keep this one?
223
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:45,879
We traced her to the Karlson Clinic on
Myrtlewood. Her name is Tanya Peters.
224
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,279
Tanya Peters?
225
00:16:47,446 --> 00:16:51,992
- Do you know her?
- Don't you remember back in the 1970s?
226
00:16:52,159 --> 00:16:54,370
The big disco shoot out.
227
00:16:56,006 --> 00:16:58,451
♫ ell, you can tell
by the way I use my walk ♫
228
00:16:58,538 --> 00:16:59,495
♫ I'm a woman's man ♫
229
00:17:00,038 --> 00:17:01,143
♫ No time to talk ♫
230
00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:03,147
♫ The music loud, the women warm ♫
231
00:17:03,235 --> 00:17:05,723
♫ I've been kicked around
since I was born ♫
232
00:17:05,865 --> 00:17:07,945
♫ But now it's all right
and that's okay ♫
233
00:17:08,231 --> 00:17:10,105
♫ And you may look the other way ♫
234
00:17:10,193 --> 00:17:11,802
♫ we can try to understand ♫
235
00:17:12,012 --> 00:17:14,890
Hey, Ed. What's happening, my man?
236
00:17:15,057 --> 00:17:18,552
Frank, we missed you last night
at the fondue party.
237
00:17:18,619 --> 00:17:22,581
I couldn't make it.
Went to see the Village People.
They're stone cold gas, man.
238
00:17:22,648 --> 00:17:24,984
- Far out, I can dig it!
- What have we got here?
239
00:17:25,151 --> 00:17:27,820
One dead disco dancer.
240
00:17:28,028 --> 00:17:32,241
- Bummer! What a mind bender ah.
- We think it was some sort of a love triangle.
241
00:17:32,408 --> 00:17:35,828
This is the suspect's girlfriend, Tanya Peters.
I will be right back.
242
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:39,039
- Cigarette?
- Yes, I know.
243
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:44,086
Well, we'll need a statement from you
down at the station.
244
00:17:44,593 --> 00:17:45,202
Nordberg!
245
00:17:46,089 --> 00:17:47,550
Coming, Lieutenant!
246
00:17:47,594 --> 00:17:49,986
♫ Somebody help me ♫
247
00:17:52,204 --> 00:17:56,074
♫ I'm stayin'alive... ♫
248
00:17:57,266 --> 00:18:02,229
I do remember! You were one of the first
test cases for minoxidil, weren't you?
249
00:18:02,396 --> 00:18:05,483
- What?
- Well I'm glad I could be of help.
250
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:08,378
If you don't mind, now I've got a
rump of lamb to put in the oven.
251
00:18:08,444 --> 00:18:12,448
- Frank, We need to ask you a favor.
- Not that big a rump roast, Nordberg.
252
00:18:12,615 --> 00:18:16,927
No no, not that Frank. We need you
to go undercover at the clinic today.
253
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,940
Hey, whoa.. wait a minute
I've given up police work, Ed.
254
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,940
No, You're whistling up the
wrong neck of the woods.
255
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,143
I wouldn't ask, but we're in a bind Frank.
256
00:18:24,510 --> 00:18:26,691
What about those two new guys
Hedges and O'Malley?
257
00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:30,091
They're in Hawaii
together.
258
00:18:30,257 --> 00:18:33,761
Oh, I can't. Jane and I have
a special evening planned.
259
00:18:33,928 --> 00:18:37,306
Frank, It'll only take a couple of hours.
You'll be home in plenty of time to make dinner.
260
00:18:37,473 --> 00:18:40,226
I don't know.
I'll have to make pork chops.
261
00:18:40,434 --> 00:18:45,731
Frank, think of all the crime out there..
Nobody is safe. You'd be protecting Jane.
262
00:18:45,898 --> 00:18:48,767
You'd be protecting
all the Janes of the world.
263
00:18:49,076 --> 00:18:52,655
- Besides, you haven't shot anybody in 6 months.
- That's true.
264
00:18:52,822 --> 00:18:55,157
Funny how you miss the little things.
265
00:18:55,324 --> 00:18:59,286
Might be good to feel cold hard steel
pressed against my thigh once again.
266
00:18:59,453 --> 00:19:01,914
The thrill of a chase... to be a man!
267
00:19:03,541 --> 00:19:06,168
After folding the laundry,
I set out for the Karlson clinic.
268
00:19:06,335 --> 00:19:09,839
In any police operations it's important
to have a foolproof disguise.
269
00:19:10,505 --> 00:19:13,259
And this operation was no different.
270
00:19:14,969 --> 00:19:19,598
I had no idea if Tanya would still recognize me,
so I slipped on a fake pair of glasses.
271
00:19:19,807 --> 00:19:22,435
I combed my hair little differently,
just in case.
272
00:19:22,601 --> 00:19:27,273
The plan was to get in, get any information I could
about Tanya's connection with the bombing,
273
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,775
and get out as quickly as possible.
274
00:19:29,942 --> 00:19:32,256
I figured faking an old football injury
would do the trick.
275
00:19:34,577 --> 00:19:35,290
[Cough]
276
00:19:35,622 --> 00:19:38,684
- Can I help you?
- Yes I'd like to see a doctor please.
277
00:19:39,285 --> 00:19:43,622
Sign in here, please.
Do you have an appointment, Mr.?
278
00:19:43,989 --> 00:19:46,125
Uh, Smith.
Uh, no, I don't.
279
00:19:46,692 --> 00:19:49,295
- Then take a number.
- Six.
280
00:19:49,803 --> 00:19:52,298
- What?
- Is six taken?
281
00:19:52,465 --> 00:19:55,926
Does it have to be
between one and ten?
282
00:19:58,671 --> 00:20:02,308
- You'll be called.
- Thank you.
283
00:20:08,606 --> 00:20:10,000
Uh, Mr. Smith?
284
00:20:11,567 --> 00:20:15,154
Sir, we've just had a cancellation.
We can take you now. Dr. Kohlzak?
285
00:20:15,321 --> 00:20:18,616
Good morning, Mr. Smith. Right this way.
286
00:20:18,783 --> 00:20:24,013
I really appreciate you seeing me like this.
I'm sure it won't take too long.
287
00:20:30,127 --> 00:20:35,633
- When did you first notice the problem?
- Uh, in the back yard with my uncle.
288
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:40,846
- In the back yard? With your uncle?
- Yes, when he comes over to visit,
289
00:20:41,013 --> 00:20:45,476
...we like to go out in the back yard
and throw it around for a while.
290
00:20:45,643 --> 00:20:48,354
And what did you and your
uncle find out?
291
00:20:48,562 --> 00:20:52,525
I can't keep up with him.
Mine hurt, especially on the long ones.
292
00:20:52,833 --> 00:20:58,697
I, I can't seem to straighten it out.
It has no feeling. It, it's kind of numb.
293
00:20:58,906 --> 00:21:01,534
I may have yanked it too much, maybe.
294
00:21:05,413 --> 00:21:09,125
- If you would...
- For what?
295
00:21:09,291 --> 00:21:12,211
- A sperm count.
- In here?
296
00:21:12,378 --> 00:21:16,006
Well, it's not exactly the back yard,
but it will do.
297
00:21:16,715 --> 00:21:18,342
Well...
298
00:21:21,082 --> 00:21:22,561
[Zipper]
299
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,083
[Slap]
300
00:21:24,171 --> 00:21:25,562
Oh!
301
00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:27,084
[Clang]
302
00:21:27,371 --> 00:21:28,563
[Glass Breaking]
303
00:21:28,950 --> 00:21:29,781
[Zipper]
304
00:21:35,067 --> 00:21:39,572
Follow me, and we'll do
the necessary paperwork.
305
00:21:41,949 --> 00:21:46,262
Sign these at the bottom,
and leave them with the nurse
on your way out.
306
00:21:47,913 --> 00:21:49,915
- This way, please.
- What?
307
00:21:50,124 --> 00:21:52,885
- Number 17. Oh no
- A problem?
308
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,297
- No, no not at all.
- This is 17. You're next.
309
00:21:56,864 --> 00:22:00,560
- Have we met before?
- If you'll excuse me, I'm next.
310
00:22:00,701 --> 00:22:01,615
Ooh! Aah!
311
00:22:01,702 --> 00:22:02,615
[Glass Breaking]
312
00:22:02,702 --> 00:22:04,050
Aah!
313
00:22:04,137 --> 00:22:05,050
[Clang]
314
00:22:05,138 --> 00:22:06,050
[Knock Knock]
315
00:22:06,265 --> 00:22:06,925
Sir...
316
00:22:07,138 --> 00:22:08,051
Aah!
317
00:22:08,392 --> 00:22:11,604
Mr. Smith, how are we doing?
318
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:12,431
[Sheep Bleats]
319
00:22:12,563 --> 00:22:14,707
I've been busy, if that's what you mean.
320
00:22:14,915 --> 00:22:17,735
Would you like a video tape
to assist you?
321
00:22:17,902 --> 00:22:21,989
Do you have "Dances With Wolves"?
"Rocketeer"? "Lady And The Tramp"?
322
00:22:22,156 --> 00:22:25,367
An adult movie.
323
00:22:25,673 --> 00:22:27,534
Well...
324
00:22:27,622 --> 00:22:28,578
Ooh! Aah!
325
00:22:28,666 --> 00:22:30,057
Yeow!
326
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:31,623
Oh! Yes!
327
00:22:36,504 --> 00:22:38,714
The tape was very entertaining.
328
00:22:39,081 --> 00:22:41,133
Follow me.
329
00:22:41,801 --> 00:22:44,637
Do you have "Spartacus"?
330
00:23:05,866 --> 00:23:10,621
Maintenance, clean up Room 7.
Maintenance, clean up Room 7.
331
00:23:10,788 --> 00:23:12,415
Stat.
332
00:23:17,628 --> 00:23:20,423
- What are you doing?
- Just freshening up.
333
00:23:20,589 --> 00:23:25,136
You should always look your best,
even though you're by yourself.
You know what I mean?
334
00:23:25,302 --> 00:23:27,638
Are you sure we've never met?
335
00:23:27,805 --> 00:23:30,975
Oh, here's my cup. Back to work.
336
00:23:32,055 --> 00:23:32,812
[Knock Knock]
337
00:23:33,060 --> 00:23:35,938
Mr. Smith, are you OK in there?
338
00:23:36,105 --> 00:23:38,524
I could use a little help.
339
00:23:39,692 --> 00:23:42,913
Dr. Rosenblatt,
foreplay in Room 7, please.
340
00:23:43,062 --> 00:23:43,997
Dr. Rosenblatt
341
00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:48,555
[Scraping]
342
00:23:54,065 --> 00:23:56,122
[Johnny Mathis Sings Misty]
343
00:24:02,715 --> 00:24:05,384
Honey, I've been waiting all day.
344
00:24:06,427 --> 00:24:11,474
I'm wearing the nightgown
you bought me for our honeymoon.
345
00:24:12,933 --> 00:24:18,731
Tonight's gonna be special night. I'm gonna make
love to you for hours and hours.
346
00:24:18,939 --> 00:24:20,900
Wouldn't Mr. Happy like that?
347
00:24:22,693 --> 00:24:25,362
- Hours?
- Just like we did the first time we were together.
348
00:24:25,529 --> 00:24:30,242
Jane, why don't I get ready and soak
in the tub for a couple of days?
349
00:24:30,451 --> 00:24:32,411
Possibly a week.
350
00:24:32,620 --> 00:24:36,616
Oh, you're so cute. Let me go get
the oysters and clams.
351
00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:40,655
♫ Walk my way ♫
352
00:24:40,699 --> 00:24:44,048
♫ And 1,000 violins ♫
353
00:24:44,091 --> 00:24:47,222
♫ Begin to play ♫
354
00:24:47,310 --> 00:24:49,179
♫ Or it might be the sound ♫
355
00:24:49,223 --> 00:24:52,485
♫ Of your hello ♫
356
00:24:52,871 --> 00:24:55,760
♫ That music I hear ♫
357
00:24:56,546 --> 00:24:58,138
♫ I get misty ♫
358
00:24:58,725 --> 00:25:04,314
♫ The moment you're near ♫
359
00:25:04,601 --> 00:25:06,793
♫ You can say ♫
360
00:25:06,879 --> 00:25:11,359
♫ That you're leading me on... ♫
361
00:25:12,076 --> 00:25:15,621
Here. I'll shave your back like last time.
362
00:25:15,830 --> 00:25:18,958
Jane, I really don't think we should.
363
00:25:19,959 --> 00:25:24,296
- Frank, what's this?!
- I fell... on a rake.
364
00:25:24,463 --> 00:25:28,426
You're lying.
Now I know why Ed's been calling
every half hour.
365
00:25:28,592 --> 00:25:32,796
- You've been back on the case haven't you?
- No, no. I swear. It's another woman.
366
00:25:33,063 --> 00:25:34,765
In your wildest dreams!
367
00:25:34,932 --> 00:25:39,103
It's bad enough you won't have a baby.
But I warned you what happen if you
went back to Police Squad
368
00:25:39,270 --> 00:25:41,689
You you, white Anglo male!
369
00:25:41,856 --> 00:25:48,154
Jane, Aah.. Jane it was nothing Jane.
I was only doing Ed a small favor.
370
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:53,159
Some retirement! I'm leaving Frank. I never
thought you'd go back on your word.
371
00:25:53,367 --> 00:25:56,495
- Aren't you being a little hasty?
- I don't think so.
372
00:25:56,504 --> 00:25:57,200
[Doorbell Rings]
373
00:25:57,221 --> 00:26:00,541
That should be the cab.If you need to
You can reach me at Louise's.
374
00:26:00,708 --> 00:26:05,045
Oh Frank, how could you? We need
some time apart to think about us.
375
00:26:05,212 --> 00:26:08,424
Well I'm not going to think.
Why should I start now? I love you.
376
00:26:08,591 --> 00:26:11,719
Look, baby, I am what I am,
and I do what I do.
377
00:26:11,886 --> 00:26:16,515
A few guys make shoelaces, some lay sod,
others make a very good living neutering animals.
378
00:26:16,682 --> 00:26:19,076
- I am a cop.
- Pretty speech Frank.
379
00:26:19,143 --> 00:26:21,270
But my mind is made up, I'm leaving!
380
00:26:21,437 --> 00:26:24,398
All right, then take this with you.
381
00:26:27,465 --> 00:26:29,118
♫ I am too misty... ♫
382
00:26:30,112 --> 00:26:32,616
I guess you know
how my lips feel about things.
383
00:26:32,823 --> 00:26:33,645
[Doorbell Rings]
384
00:26:39,697 --> 00:26:41,207
Goodbye, Frank.
385
00:26:41,373 --> 00:26:45,753
Your listening to K.S.A.D.
All depressing, all the time.
386
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:50,274
And now here's a dedication to Frank
from Jane who just called from a taxi
and it reads
387
00:26:50,341 --> 00:26:54,428
Frank, you lying weasel-weenie
It's bad enough you're shooting blanks.
now you leave the door wide open,
388
00:26:54,595 --> 00:26:57,181
letting all the heat out.
Were you born in a barn? you stupid
389
00:26:59,967 --> 00:27:04,371
He promised he'd never go back to his police work.
Once a cop, always a cop.
390
00:27:04,538 --> 00:27:08,651
- He's married to his work, not me.
- That's the way it is with them
- You'll always come in second.
391
00:27:08,818 --> 00:27:13,322
There was this great article in Cosmo this month,
"Why All Men Are Pigs". You should read it!
392
00:27:13,689 --> 00:27:18,035
Frank's just another word for "loser" as far as I am concerned
Oh I never want to see him again.
393
00:27:18,202 --> 00:27:20,871
I want to get as far away from
this town as possible.
394
00:27:21,038 --> 00:27:25,584
We'll headed to my friend's cabin
it's up by the smelting plant,
fresh air will do you good.
395
00:27:25,751 --> 00:27:28,421
Jane, go easy!
That's your second bottle of Chanel.
396
00:27:28,587 --> 00:27:32,174
Louise, You're witnessing the beginning
of a new Jane Spencer-Drebin.
397
00:27:32,341 --> 00:27:36,178
No more little Miss Perky
who devoted her life to one man.
398
00:27:36,345 --> 00:27:40,099
I'm out for the new me.
Let's burn rubber!
399
00:27:42,977 --> 00:27:45,872
You didn't forget anything, did you?
[Louise] I hope not.
400
00:27:50,401 --> 00:27:54,697
Just calm down, ma'am. How many bodies
did you find in your swimming pool?
401
00:27:54,864 --> 00:27:59,318
No sir, in this state killing a gang member
is only an 18 Dollar fine just mail it in.
402
00:27:59,626 --> 00:28:02,955
- Frank! Glad you could make it.
- Welcome, buddy.
403
00:28:03,164 --> 00:28:05,958
- Nordberg, Ed.
- Did you happened to find Tanya's address? Frank.
404
00:28:06,167 --> 00:28:10,379
Ed, I wrote it down on a hanky,
and I can't remember what I did with it.
405
00:28:10,546 --> 00:28:13,758
- I guess I'm getting a bit rusty.
- Oh, that's all right.
- It could happen to anybody.
406
00:28:13,924 --> 00:28:17,553
Anyway I brought you some of
"Frank's Never Fail Fudge".
407
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,681
- Now you go on go on about your business.
- Smells great.
408
00:28:20,848 --> 00:28:25,061
Don't mind me I'll stay out of your hair.
It'll be just like...
409
00:28:25,494 --> 00:28:26,243
[Vacuum]
410
00:28:26,645 --> 00:28:30,816
Uh, Frank, let me take that.
We've got a little surprise for you.
411
00:28:30,983 --> 00:28:33,019
It's in honor of your 30 years
on the force.
412
00:28:33,306 --> 00:28:34,411
Nordberg.
413
00:28:35,497 --> 00:28:35,911
- Yay!
- Yay!
414
00:28:36,098 --> 00:28:36,811
Congratulations, buddy!
415
00:28:37,031 --> 00:28:41,243
Oh, boy. This is really great.
416
00:28:44,438 --> 00:28:46,032
Thank you, guys.
417
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,086
We thought it might cheer you up.
We heard about you and Jane.
418
00:28:50,252 --> 00:28:54,507
Jane, Jane...
The name will always remind me of her.
419
00:28:55,382 --> 00:28:59,853
Frank I feel really bad about all of this.
If there's anything that you need?
420
00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:04,767
- Dr. Kevorkian's home phone number.
- Nordberg, put it together!
421
00:29:05,234 --> 00:29:07,820
- Frank I want you to know we're here for you.
- Thanks Ed.
422
00:29:07,928 --> 00:29:11,148
- Well, look who's here.
Hi, Frank nice to see you.
- Ted.
423
00:29:11,315 --> 00:29:14,819
- Ed, I've got that data for you on the bomb.
- Good what did you find out?
424
00:29:15,085 --> 00:29:19,198
- Well the explosive it self is a very fine powder.
- It tastes like...
425
00:29:19,407 --> 00:29:22,201
That would be fertilizer, Frank,
it's for another case.
426
00:29:22,410 --> 00:29:24,870
This is what I'm talking about.
427
00:29:25,579 --> 00:29:29,908
- We detected a high quantity of nitroglycerine.
- Can you tell us where it came from?
428
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,310
I'd be glad to.
429
00:29:31,919 --> 00:29:35,314
Billions of years ago,
the earth was a molten mass...
430
00:29:35,481 --> 00:29:39,376
- Ted, I'm talking about the powder.
- Oh, we haven't got a clue about that Ed.
431
00:29:39,443 --> 00:29:42,012
Here let me take that urine
specimen from you Frank.
432
00:29:42,179 --> 00:29:45,766
How ever we found a detailed list of
the bomber's plans at the scene.
433
00:29:46,133 --> 00:29:48,769
- On a hunch we analyzed the paper.
- And you got something?
434
00:29:48,936 --> 00:29:51,931
Yes the paper came from
Statesville Prison.
435
00:29:52,039 --> 00:29:53,899
- Are you sure?
- Positive.
436
00:29:54,066 --> 00:29:56,266
We analyzed the wood fibers in the paper
437
00:29:56,466 --> 00:29:59,366
and found them to be from the rare Canary Island pine
438
00:29:59,666 --> 00:30:01,565
which grows only in Oregon.
439
00:30:01,731 --> 00:30:06,036
Contacting several paper mills in that area
led us to a distribution center in Tacoma.
440
00:30:06,245 --> 00:30:08,522
But unfortunately,
that's where the trail ended.
441
00:30:08,789 --> 00:30:12,518
And how did you trace it to Statesville Prison?
Right here on the letterhead, Frank.
442
00:30:12,626 --> 00:30:18,048
After comparing the handwriting samples with every known
bomber currently serving a stretch in Statesville,
443
00:30:18,257 --> 00:30:20,860
we came up with a suspect...
Rocco Dillon.
444
00:30:21,068 --> 00:30:23,979
He's must be masterminding
the bombings from inside the prison.
445
00:30:24,046 --> 00:30:27,808
If that's true there's only one way to
find out where Rocco's gonna strike next.
446
00:30:27,975 --> 00:30:31,270
We gonna have to send someone into Statesville Prison.
I'll do it.
447
00:30:31,479 --> 00:30:34,231
Frank I couldn't, I wouldn't
feel right about that.
448
00:30:34,398 --> 00:30:36,901
If Rocco finds out you're a cop,
you might end up dead.
449
00:30:37,109 --> 00:30:39,487
"You might end up dead"
is my middle name.
450
00:30:39,653 --> 00:30:42,439
What about Jane?
I don't know her middle name.
451
00:30:42,906 --> 00:30:46,368
But Ed I need the action.
I'm going inside the big house.
452
00:30:46,535 --> 00:30:49,413
Frank, Ed, I think you might
want to see this.
453
00:30:49,580 --> 00:30:53,084
We're testing out a prototype
for a new anti-carjacking device.
454
00:30:53,250 --> 00:30:55,628
You'll get a chance to see how it works.
455
00:30:55,836 --> 00:30:57,713
Get out! Get out!
No.
456
00:30:57,880 --> 00:30:58,615
Don't make me use...
457
00:30:58,708 --> 00:31:00,535
Aah!
458
00:31:02,535 --> 00:31:03,927
Aah!
459
00:31:05,012 --> 00:31:06,430
We call it the Denver Jockstrap.
460
00:31:14,855 --> 00:31:18,692
After being retired for six months,
I was finally back in action.
461
00:31:18,859 --> 00:31:23,823
Faster than you say "Spread 'em!",
I was inside the cold, gray walls of Statesville Prison.
462
00:31:23,989 --> 00:31:26,951
I was surrounded by pimps,
rapists and murderers.
463
00:31:27,118 --> 00:31:30,246
It was like being in the stands
of an Los Angeles Raiders' game.
464
00:31:30,413 --> 00:31:36,752
It was going to take all my police
experience just to stay alive in here.
465
00:31:46,887 --> 00:31:51,058
After a long and generous cavity
search, I finally reached my destination:
466
00:31:51,225 --> 00:31:56,413
Maximum security, home of the most
violent sociopaths in the country.
467
00:31:56,580 --> 00:32:00,693
And the worst of them all, Rocco Dillon.
468
00:32:02,695 --> 00:32:04,363
All right, in here.
469
00:32:04,572 --> 00:32:09,910
Ain't no prison yet could hold me.
Attica! Attica! Power to the brothers.
470
00:32:10,077 --> 00:32:13,414
Kill whitey, kill whitey!
471
00:32:13,581 --> 00:32:15,575
Knock it off!
472
00:32:19,420 --> 00:32:21,747
You're chirping awfully loud for a new canary.
473
00:32:21,856 --> 00:32:25,509
Keep flashing the big eyes,
and I'll personally balance and rotate your jaw.
474
00:32:25,676 --> 00:32:31,348
Hey! You know who you're talking to?
The man is Rocco Dillon.
475
00:32:31,515 --> 00:32:34,894
- Where's your prison number?
- It's unlisted.
476
00:32:35,102 --> 00:32:38,647
Just call me
Nick "The Slasher" Magirk.
477
00:32:39,231 --> 00:32:43,227
Look, ham head. I'm the muscle
in this pen. You just stay out of my way.
478
00:32:43,394 --> 00:32:45,529
Just watch your step, Magirk.
479
00:32:45,696 --> 00:32:48,465
Take it from me,
this place here changes a man.
480
00:32:48,532 --> 00:32:51,577
- Oh, yeah, in what way?
- I used to be white.
481
00:32:53,621 --> 00:32:56,165
I was the drummer for the Osmonds.
482
00:32:56,332 --> 00:33:00,753
Screw with me, he'll make you feel pain
like you never felt before.
483
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,923
I know, I remember the Osmonds.
484
00:33:04,965 --> 00:33:08,135
- Better hit the rack, Magirk.
- In a minute.
485
00:33:08,302 --> 00:33:12,890
First I wanna to make up a list of the people
I'm gonna kill in the next couple of days.
486
00:33:13,057 --> 00:33:16,977
Lights out!
Lock down in two minutes!
487
00:33:19,688 --> 00:33:22,900
My dearest snookie wookums dumpling buns,
488
00:33:23,067 --> 00:33:27,279
I miss you so much.
I haven't hurt this bad since...
489
00:33:27,488 --> 00:33:29,782
since the last time I was dumped.
490
00:33:29,990 --> 00:33:33,411
I remember it well.
Her name was Gabriella.
491
00:33:34,078 --> 00:33:35,788
We were supposed to be marry,
492
00:33:35,996 --> 00:33:39,075
but on the day of our wedding day,
she never showed up.
493
00:33:39,136 --> 00:33:42,285
Aah!
494
00:33:43,462 --> 00:33:48,217
I was heartbroken, destroyed.
I figured she'd fallen for another man.
495
00:33:48,384 --> 00:33:51,137
Someone who could do to her
what I never could.
496
00:33:51,345 --> 00:33:56,475
I thought my life was over
until that one glorious day.
497
00:33:56,684 --> 00:34:02,148
That was the day you became my wife.
All our friends gathered to celebrated our love.
498
00:34:02,356 --> 00:34:06,193
It seemed like only yesterday.
We were all so overjoyed.
499
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:11,323
I remember how we wished we could take everyone with us.
That was the happiest day of my life.
500
00:34:11,490 --> 00:34:15,786
I'll never forget the plans we made for our future.
Things were going to be so perfect.
501
00:34:15,953 --> 00:34:19,123
We were finally going to get
that housekeeper you always wanted.
502
00:34:19,290 --> 00:34:21,500
Hi, Mr. D.
Hi, Mrs. D.
503
00:34:21,667 --> 00:34:24,670
I knew that eventually our dream
would come true.
504
00:34:24,879 --> 00:34:28,007
One day we'll have
our own little Frank Drebin Jr.
505
00:34:28,215 --> 00:34:30,509
Shut up, Magirk. I'm trying to to get some sleep.
506
00:34:30,718 --> 00:34:33,512
Nah, it's no use.
She'll never come back.
507
00:34:40,047 --> 00:34:43,091
♫ You shake my nerves
and you rattle my brain ♫
508
00:34:43,178 --> 00:34:46,092
♫ Too much love
drives a man insane ♫
509
00:34:46,179 --> 00:34:47,614
♫ You broke my will ♫
510
00:34:47,701 --> 00:34:49,092
♫ But what a thrill ♫
511
00:34:49,180 --> 00:34:52,093
♫ Goodness gracious
Great balls of fire ♫
512
00:34:52,181 --> 00:34:55,094
♫ I laughed at love
'cause I thought it was funny ♫
513
00:34:55,182 --> 00:34:58,181
♫ You came along
and moved me, honey ♫
514
00:34:58,269 --> 00:34:59,617
♫ I changed my mind ♫
515
00:34:59,704 --> 00:35:01,096
♫ This love is fine ♫
516
00:35:01,140 --> 00:35:04,575
♫ Goodness gracious
Great balls of fire ♫
517
00:35:07,575 --> 00:35:09,576
[Singing]
518
00:35:39,495 --> 00:35:41,539
Bend over and pick it up for me...
519
00:35:42,706 --> 00:35:44,417
...would you, lover?
520
00:35:44,583 --> 00:35:46,252
No problem.
521
00:35:57,263 --> 00:36:01,934
Rocco could tell from my little escapade in the
shower that I was well-endowed with courage.
522
00:36:02,143 --> 00:36:03,978
Now, I had to get on the inside.
523
00:36:04,145 --> 00:36:08,690
Like a blind man at an orgy,
I was going to have to feel things out.
524
00:36:09,817 --> 00:36:14,864
Tyrone, I've got the escape plans right here.
Just you and me.
525
00:36:15,030 --> 00:36:18,033
- Burnett wants in, too.
- Burnett's one of the guards.
526
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:22,371
- I know, but he's unhappy here.
- All right, all right whatever.
527
00:36:23,330 --> 00:36:26,459
Got it all worked out right here.
528
00:36:28,502 --> 00:36:32,465
What's this?
Another letter from your mommy?
529
00:36:32,673 --> 00:36:35,734
- Hey, that's private, screw.
- Let's see what we have here.
530
00:36:35,801 --> 00:36:39,972
- Why dont you give the man back his letter.
- Buzz off, butter cheeks.
531
00:36:40,181 --> 00:36:43,726
What's so special about a little letter?
532
00:36:43,893 --> 00:36:46,812
Wait a minute... an escape plan!
533
00:36:47,521 --> 00:36:52,902
This is your ticket to another 20 years, Dillon.
If the Warden gets one look at this...
534
00:36:52,941 --> 00:36:53,751
Hey!
535
00:36:54,695 --> 00:36:59,116
You call this slop?
Real slop has got chunks of things in it.
536
00:36:59,283 --> 00:37:01,577
This is more like gruel!
537
00:37:02,203 --> 00:37:07,750
And this Chateau LeBlanc '68 is supposed
to be served slightly chilled.
538
00:37:07,917 --> 00:37:10,044
This here room temperature.
539
00:37:10,211 --> 00:37:14,298
- What do you think we are? Animals?
- No!
540
00:37:14,465 --> 00:37:16,175
What are we?
541
00:37:17,343 --> 00:37:19,178
Homo sapiens?
542
00:37:20,221 --> 00:37:24,809
You're right! We are men!
We are men!
543
00:37:24,975 --> 00:37:28,687
We are men! We are men!
544
00:37:32,199 --> 00:37:33,852
Aah!
545
00:37:39,941 --> 00:37:42,072
Come on, knock it off!
546
00:37:42,115 --> 00:37:43,681
Everybody stop!
547
00:37:44,767 --> 00:37:45,629
Whoa!
548
00:37:56,799 --> 00:37:59,176
No, no. Stop!
549
00:38:02,596 --> 00:38:06,892
Right hand red, left hand blue.
Who's got a hand in my pocket?
550
00:38:16,110 --> 00:38:19,989
Come on, son. You can do it.
Eat some beans.
551
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:46,057
You saved my bacon Magirk.
I'd be in solitary right now if you hadn't done that.
552
00:38:46,323 --> 00:38:49,185
Listen, I've been watching you McGirk.
You handle yourself really good.
553
00:38:49,351 --> 00:38:51,395
- Really well.
- Yeah, whatever.
554
00:38:51,604 --> 00:38:53,433
Look I got something really big
coming up on the outside.
555
00:38:53,633 --> 00:38:55,933
something really big. I could use
someone like you in my gang.
556
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,686
- You've got a dental plan?
- Full coverage.
- What's the caper?
557
00:38:58,752 --> 00:39:03,783
Now, first we've got to bust out of this playpen.
Thanks to you, We still have our escape plan.
Let's have it.
558
00:39:03,949 --> 00:39:06,619
- It's a good plan.
- I've had better.
559
00:39:06,786 --> 00:39:10,122
Listen, I've got a foolproof plan.
560
00:39:11,482 --> 00:39:12,792
Oh, my God.
They got Tyrone.
561
00:39:14,043 --> 00:39:17,588
Can't we all just get along?
562
00:39:22,885 --> 00:39:26,430
Now that Tyrone was in solitary,
it was just me and Rocco.
563
00:39:26,639 --> 00:39:30,434
He had no choice but to trust me...
Shh! Hold on!
564
00:39:31,102 --> 00:39:34,438
[Whispering] Okay, anyway.
I convinced Rocco to dig a tunnel.
565
00:39:34,605 --> 00:39:36,732
It was either that or go out in a laundry truck.
566
00:39:36,899 --> 00:39:40,361
The thought of lying in a pile of underwear
nose down and skid marks
567
00:39:40,528 --> 00:39:42,846
just didn't leave a good taste in my mouth.
568
00:39:47,860 --> 00:39:51,539
Disposing of the dirt was a problem
I solved early in the construction.
569
00:39:51,705 --> 00:39:55,459
Outside of some major chaffing,
we were making good progress.
570
00:39:55,626 --> 00:40:00,823
We kept digging, at night dummies gave
the impression we were still on our cell.
571
00:40:01,090 --> 00:40:02,108
Lights out, Magirk.
572
00:40:02,716 --> 00:40:07,812
There was more dirt than I anticipated.
Disposing of it was becoming tricky business.
573
00:40:29,535 --> 00:40:31,287
Safe!
574
00:40:32,245 --> 00:40:34,442
♫ 99 bottles of beer on the wall ♫
575
00:40:34,484 --> 00:40:36,094
♫ 99 bottles of beer ♫
576
00:40:36,137 --> 00:40:38,659
♫ If one of those bottles
should happen to fall ♫
577
00:40:38,703 --> 00:40:40,400
♫ 98 bottles of beer on the wall ♫
578
00:40:40,486 --> 00:40:42,530
♫ 98 bottles of beer on the wall ♫
579
00:40:42,617 --> 00:40:44,313
♫ 98 bottles of beer ♫
580
00:40:44,717 --> 00:40:48,387
Where are you going?
You're not thinking of Frank again
Are you?
581
00:40:48,596 --> 00:40:52,892
- They are playing our song.
- I understand. Take your time.
582
00:41:09,825 --> 00:41:11,410
- Hello, there.
- Excuse me.
583
00:41:11,619 --> 00:41:14,538
I'm hauling a load of rice cakes down to Big D.
584
00:41:14,705 --> 00:41:16,740
- What do you say to coming with me?
- No. thank you.
585
00:41:16,807 --> 00:41:18,417
- Then how about a kiss?
- No!
586
00:41:18,626 --> 00:41:23,155
I know When a woman says "No," she really means "Yes."
Now, how about that kiss?
587
00:41:23,464 --> 00:41:26,358
- Yes.
- What do you mean "No"? I know your type.
588
00:41:26,467 --> 00:41:28,886
Come on, baby, we're two of a kind.
589
00:41:30,434 --> 00:41:31,391
Ow!
590
00:41:31,435 --> 00:41:33,348
Aah!
591
00:41:33,392 --> 00:41:34,566
Aah!
592
00:41:38,088 --> 00:41:41,437
Aah!
593
00:41:43,024 --> 00:41:43,916
Oh, my God!
594
00:41:44,002 --> 00:41:44,872
You killed him!
595
00:41:45,016 --> 00:41:47,029
It was an accident.
We have to call the police.
596
00:41:47,113 --> 00:41:52,393
Jane, come to your senses. You killed a man.
You're a hero to every women in this country.
597
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,787
Frank, We have to call Frank.
He'll protect us.
598
00:41:54,995 --> 00:41:58,215
Frank is a man.
He'll see you locked away for the rest of your life.
599
00:42:00,301 --> 00:42:04,546
Jane, I wanna join you to help you
kill as many men as possible.
600
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:05,791
Yipes!
601
00:42:07,174 --> 00:42:10,002
Louise, do what you have to do.
I'm calling Frank.
602
00:42:13,467 --> 00:42:15,598
Oh, boy, did that hurt.
603
00:42:15,649 --> 00:42:19,171
Be home, Frank, please. Answer
the phone, snuggie pants.
604
00:42:19,681 --> 00:42:20,882
[Telephone Picks Up]
Frank!
605
00:42:20,980 --> 00:42:23,816
- Hi, this is Frank.
- And Jane. We're the Drebins.
606
00:42:23,983 --> 00:42:27,745
We're not home right now.
So leave a message.
607
00:42:27,845 --> 00:42:28,853
[Laughter]
608
00:42:29,238 --> 00:42:31,741
- Oh, which button do I press?
- No no not that one.
609
00:42:31,989 --> 00:42:32,902
[Dial Tone]
610
00:42:42,835 --> 00:42:47,039
Tanya? It was another woman.
Frank was telling the truth.
611
00:42:47,647 --> 00:42:51,969
Honeymoon Bay Road, I bet they're
all alone there right now. Oh, Frank!
612
00:42:52,136 --> 00:42:54,847
Cell inspection!
613
00:42:56,182 --> 00:42:59,351
There's been a rumor
of a possible break-out.
614
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:03,731
If we suspect anyone
of attempting to escape,
615
00:43:03,898 --> 00:43:06,525
they will be punished severely.
616
00:43:07,610 --> 00:43:11,572
Once word of the escape was out,
we had to move quickly
so we headed for the tunnel.
617
00:43:11,739 --> 00:43:13,866
The last few feet
had to be dug on the run.
618
00:43:14,075 --> 00:43:18,204
We were sure that another 47 yards
would take us well beyond the prison walls.
619
00:43:18,412 --> 00:43:22,792
May he rest in peace in the arms
of our loving... Jesus Christ!
620
00:43:22,958 --> 00:43:24,543
Amen.
621
00:43:24,752 --> 00:43:28,580
Rocco had arranged for a getaway car
to meet us at our destination.
622
00:43:30,132 --> 00:43:34,645
After making a slight adjustment in our direction,
we finally arrived at the rendezvous point...
623
00:43:35,054 --> 00:43:37,056
... a Los Angeles city high school.
624
00:43:51,237 --> 00:43:55,199
Hey, that was close.
Hey, Rocco, who's the old hag?
625
00:43:55,366 --> 00:43:58,702
- She she, take one in the face?
- She's my mother!
626
00:43:59,712 --> 00:44:03,916
Oh, Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless,
sadistic, cold-blooded animal.
627
00:44:04,125 --> 00:44:06,627
- You must be very proud of him.
- I am.
628
00:44:06,794 --> 00:44:11,353
Ma, I want you to meet a real
square egg, Nick "The Slasher" Magirk.
629
00:44:11,450 --> 00:44:13,309
There are fresh clothes in the back.
630
00:44:13,676 --> 00:44:18,015
Rocco's mom was quiet. I had a feeling
she didn't care for me coming along.
631
00:44:20,507 --> 00:44:25,138
Like a midget at a urinal,
I was gonna have to stay on my toes.
632
00:44:36,699 --> 00:44:38,701
Hey! Stop! Stop!
633
00:44:42,780 --> 00:44:44,081
Oh, Frank!
634
00:45:00,047 --> 00:45:03,693
Well, it wasn't my fault.
That cow shouldn't have been
standing in the middle of the road.
635
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:05,945
Any way, Hurry up,
you're letting the flies in!
636
00:45:06,353 --> 00:45:08,731
- What do you think, kid?
- Sweet setup.
637
00:45:08,898 --> 00:45:13,360
No phones. Miles from the nearest
town. Playboy Channel. Perfect.
638
00:45:13,627 --> 00:45:19,316
Nice digs, but I'm here for the action.
What are we going after, banks or armored cars?
Dodgers' payroll?
639
00:45:20,050 --> 00:45:24,413
- You're getting a little bit too nosy, Magirk.
- Relax, Ma.
640
00:45:24,580 --> 00:45:27,917
- She's been itching to try out her new gun.
- I know the feeling.
641
00:45:49,105 --> 00:45:53,359
It was Tanya.
That bathing suit was never happier.
642
00:45:53,567 --> 00:45:57,238
I had only a second to admire the view.
I had to watch out.
643
00:45:57,405 --> 00:46:00,866
If she made me as a cop,
I'd be tonight's meat loaf.
644
00:46:01,075 --> 00:46:05,750
- Come here, sexy.
- You're all woman.
I can tell by just looking at you
645
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:08,749
Hey, she's referring to me.
646
00:46:08,916 --> 00:46:12,470
Uh... I was talking about your mother.
647
00:46:13,996 --> 00:46:16,799
That's no way to be walking around.
Get some clothes on.
648
00:46:16,966 --> 00:46:20,011
And what are you doing
in my bathing suit?
649
00:46:20,678 --> 00:46:26,008
- Hey, who's the stud?
- I'd like you to meet
the newest member of our gang.
650
00:46:26,475 --> 00:46:29,395
Slasher Magirk,
meet Tanya Peters.
651
00:46:29,562 --> 00:46:32,823
Wait a minute.
Don't I know you from somewhere?
652
00:46:33,032 --> 00:46:35,960
I smelled cop on him
the minute I saw him.
653
00:46:36,126 --> 00:46:39,063
I get that all the time.
The underwear ads played everywhere.
654
00:46:39,755 --> 00:46:42,700
Are you saying you're not a cop?
655
00:46:42,867 --> 00:46:44,869
Well, yeah.
656
00:46:45,035 --> 00:46:47,696
- Well that's good enough for me.
- Me, too
- I'm fine.
657
00:46:47,963 --> 00:46:50,007
All right.
I'm glad that's all cleared up.
658
00:46:50,516 --> 00:46:53,878
Ma, why don't you two
kiss and make up, huh?
659
00:46:54,044 --> 00:46:56,246
Well, all right.
660
00:47:00,831 --> 00:47:01,501
[Spits]
661
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,559
Now that's more like it.
662
00:47:24,524 --> 00:47:25,637
Aah.
663
00:47:26,237 --> 00:47:27,837
Ow.
664
00:47:30,164 --> 00:47:32,208
I had to get a message to Police Squad.
665
00:47:32,374 --> 00:47:35,294
This scene was turning into
more than I could handle by myself.
666
00:47:35,503 --> 00:47:40,674
No phone and miles from civilization,
my prospects looked bleaker than
a gerbil's in a bath house.
667
00:47:40,941 --> 00:47:42,385
Who's down there?
668
00:47:43,803 --> 00:47:47,839
Slasher...
have you seen my pigeon?
669
00:47:48,516 --> 00:47:50,559
Pigeon?
What pigeon?
670
00:47:51,268 --> 00:47:52,772
What you doing?
671
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:57,116
I'm... just
contemplating my next move.
672
00:47:57,525 --> 00:47:59,819
Your bishop is exposed.
673
00:47:59,985 --> 00:48:03,823
It's these pants.
I usually wear a fuller cut.
674
00:48:03,989 --> 00:48:06,951
You're all man.
I like that in my men.
675
00:48:07,118 --> 00:48:11,055
You're coming on to me big time, sister.
you're purring like a kitten with a fresh mouse.
676
00:48:11,122 --> 00:48:13,249
- But we got a problem.
- You're Jewish?
677
00:48:13,816 --> 00:48:16,168
No. You're Rocco's girl.
678
00:48:16,335 --> 00:48:20,715
In my book that chapter is called
"Look, But Don't Touch".
679
00:48:22,666 --> 00:48:24,468
I could have two lovers.
680
00:48:26,303 --> 00:48:29,807
Kinky. But I like my sex
the way I play basketball,
681
00:48:30,015 --> 00:48:33,978
one on one and with
as little dribbling as possible.
682
00:48:41,026 --> 00:48:44,447
Oh, you're tense, Slasher.
683
00:48:44,613 --> 00:48:48,033
Well, I could relax more,
if I knew what was going on tomorrow.
684
00:48:48,242 --> 00:48:51,328
You wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?
685
00:48:51,495 --> 00:48:56,709
All I know is that it's downtown
and... big.
686
00:48:56,917 --> 00:49:01,505
That's the way I like it.
What else?
687
00:49:01,672 --> 00:49:03,758
Just this...
688
00:49:07,332 --> 00:49:08,724
What are you doing?
689
00:49:09,011 --> 00:49:10,260
Uh... well thank you for the advice.
690
00:49:10,446 --> 00:49:12,795
I'll.. try that recipe out,
Miss Peters.
691
00:49:12,982 --> 00:49:14,030
How could you?
692
00:49:14,168 --> 00:49:16,862
Well you just shove your tongue
as far down his throat as you can.
693
00:49:16,959 --> 00:49:17,553
Oh...
694
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:21,817
Quiet. You're not supposed
to know me here.
695
00:49:21,984 --> 00:49:23,986
That's a goodbye kiss, sister.
696
00:49:24,153 --> 00:49:28,741
- What's all this? Who's the skirt?
- Uh, just some dizzy dame.
697
00:49:28,849 --> 00:49:31,160
Probably her car broke down.
I'll take her to the bus depot.
698
00:49:31,327 --> 00:49:34,989
Hey, look at this she's married.
What if her husband comes looking for her?
699
00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:38,225
- He probably will. He must be great a great guy.
- He breaks promises.
700
00:49:38,325 --> 00:49:41,420
Oh, look at you, traipsing all over the country
just to spite a big wonderful guy.
701
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,581
- He left me.
- More like you left him.
702
00:49:43,847 --> 00:49:44,717
- You should talk!
703
00:49:44,816 --> 00:49:46,304
- Well listen to you.
- Listen to you.
704
00:49:46,390 --> 00:49:47,738
- Listen to you.
- Listen to you.
705
00:49:47,826 --> 00:49:48,861
- Listen to you!
- Listen to you!
706
00:49:48,926 --> 00:49:49,661
- Listen to you!
707
00:49:49,845 --> 00:49:53,257
Jeez, you two, knock it off!
You'd think you were married or something.
708
00:49:53,324 --> 00:49:56,435
- So. what do you want to do with her Rocco?
- Well, one thing is for sure...
709
00:49:56,644 --> 00:50:00,189
...there's no room for her here.
- I say we bump her off.
710
00:50:00,456 --> 00:50:04,435
- Let's plug her right here.
- No. I've been on jobs where things went hooey
711
00:50:04,602 --> 00:50:08,906
I'd have given my eyeteeth for a hostage.
Now We all know that,
women make the best hostages.
712
00:50:09,073 --> 00:50:12,268
They are smaller, easy to take along,
eat less, smell nice.
713
00:50:13,035 --> 00:50:17,623
Yeah, we got us an insurance policy.
Good thinking, kid.
714
00:50:17,832 --> 00:50:21,053
Now, let's get some shut-eye.
Come on we got a big day ahead of us.
715
00:50:27,967 --> 00:50:31,178
All right, it's rigged.
Keep your eye on the tower, Slasher.
716
00:50:31,646 --> 00:50:33,359
It's what's going to happen tonight.
717
00:50:33,546 --> 00:50:35,963
Hey, aren't we awfully far away?
718
00:50:36,051 --> 00:50:37,790
Oh!
719
00:50:38,269 --> 00:50:39,582
All right, now, pay attention.
720
00:50:39,669 --> 00:50:43,482
On the top of that tower is a device
that's going to net us five million bucks.
721
00:50:43,591 --> 00:50:45,352
It's a little thing I've been working on.
722
00:50:45,452 --> 00:50:46,752
We're going to detonate it
later this evening
723
00:50:46,861 --> 00:50:49,280
at an event the whole world
will be watching.
724
00:50:49,447 --> 00:50:52,950
- Your crowning achievement.
- It's for both of us, Ma.
725
00:50:53,159 --> 00:50:55,661
- All set?
- Set.
726
00:51:18,559 --> 00:51:19,079
Very impressive.
727
00:51:19,192 --> 00:51:21,193
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
728
00:51:21,645 --> 00:51:22,172
Cool.
729
00:51:22,237 --> 00:51:24,194
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
730
00:51:24,356 --> 00:51:25,716
Cool.
731
00:51:25,816 --> 00:51:26,894
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
732
00:51:30,404 --> 00:51:34,533
Yes, America will be brought to its knees
by this ultimate terrorist act.
733
00:51:34,641 --> 00:51:38,079
That's right this will be more embarrassing
to the United States than Tonya Harding.
734
00:51:38,245 --> 00:51:41,707
We're almost there.I don't want to miss this.
Give my regards to Mrs. Gaddafi.
735
00:51:41,916 --> 00:51:44,144
Oh, and tell her thanks for the cookies.
736
00:51:47,338 --> 00:51:49,382
It's another beautiful night
in Los Angeles,
737
00:51:49,590 --> 00:51:54,345
and the stars are shining bright
for the 66th annual Academy Awards.
738
00:51:54,512 --> 00:51:57,640
Thousands of fans are clamoring
to get a glimpse of their favorite celebrities.
739
00:51:57,907 --> 00:52:01,960
And here are two of them it's
"Weird Al" Yankovic and Vanna White.
740
00:52:12,980 --> 00:52:14,865
Slasher, put the dame in the trunk.
741
00:52:15,532 --> 00:52:18,394
I'll meet you and Ma
around the back in ten minutes.
742
00:52:19,961 --> 00:52:21,080
Got the passes?
743
00:52:21,789 --> 00:52:25,209
- We pull this up, it's 5 million big ones.
- Not bad, Ma.
744
00:52:25,318 --> 00:52:28,662
- Frank, what's going to happen to me?
- Shh! I have an idea.
745
00:52:28,929 --> 00:52:31,257
- All right, Slasher, you know what to do.
- Right.
746
00:52:31,465 --> 00:52:33,843
Make sure the spare tire and fed it,
check all the fluid levels.
747
00:52:34,009 --> 00:52:38,347
No, you muffin head, the dame. Keep an eye on her.
We hit trouble, she's a bullet shield.
748
00:52:42,518 --> 00:52:47,039
Ladies and gentlemen, here now to present
the Academy's Lifetime Achievement Award
749
00:52:47,106 --> 00:52:52,695
is James Simmons.
Ready, 3. Roll tape. Go to clip.
Aspirin, please. Go to 3. Ready, 4.
750
00:52:54,655 --> 00:53:00,878
This year's Lifetime Achievement Award
winner's credits include some of the greatest moments
ever captured on celluloid.
751
00:53:01,045 --> 00:53:04,623
Films such as
"Sandals and Loincloth", 1958.
752
00:53:04,832 --> 00:53:07,460
"Sweaty Boatmen", 1959.
753
00:53:07,626 --> 00:53:09,962
"The Leather Clad Centurion", 1960,
754
00:53:10,171 --> 00:53:15,801
and his first color feature in 1966,
"Big Shiny Spears".
755
00:53:22,224 --> 00:53:24,894
Okay, there's the man
from Bryce/Porterhouse.
756
00:53:25,061 --> 00:53:30,107
He is the guy who guards the envelopes until they're handed out.
That pinhead not gonna budge from that table.
757
00:53:30,316 --> 00:53:33,736
Now, you know what to do distract him
so I can get to the envelope and plant the bomb.
758
00:53:34,403 --> 00:53:38,115
Accepting the award for Mr. Bronkowitz
is Margaret Red Feather.
759
00:53:55,841 --> 00:53:57,094
That ought to do it.
760
00:53:58,260 --> 00:54:02,014
You'll never get away with this.
Rocco's gonna kill whoever you are.
761
00:54:02,181 --> 00:54:05,868
- Frank Drebin, Police Squad.
- Frank, isn't that a little unusual?
762
00:54:05,935 --> 00:54:10,022
- Not really it happened to me a
couple of times. Here's the plan.
- Plan, you'll never stop Rocco.
763
00:54:10,122 --> 00:54:13,192
- Your chances are one in a million.
- That's still better than any state lottery.
764
00:54:13,401 --> 00:54:18,280
Look I'm the good guy. I can't let the bad guys
win our children can't be raised in fear.
765
00:54:18,447 --> 00:54:22,743
Dont you see If we can't stop them, they'll blow
that place sky-high. It'll be a tragedy,
766
00:54:22,910 --> 00:54:26,455
unless of course, it happens during
a dance number. Come on.
767
00:54:33,938 --> 00:54:34,973
[Giggling]
768
00:54:43,897 --> 00:54:44,858
Does that radio work?
769
00:54:45,075 --> 00:54:47,097
[Speaking Arabic]
770
00:54:51,038 --> 00:54:53,650
Call Police Squad.
Tell them Frank Drebin says...
771
00:54:53,721 --> 00:54:55,508
[Speaking Jamaican]
772
00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:02,908
Forget it.
773
00:55:03,175 --> 00:55:06,203
I wonder what the devil he wanted?
774
00:55:11,584 --> 00:55:14,687
- Hold on.
- Sergeant Frank Drebin,
detective lieutenant, Police Squad.
775
00:55:14,795 --> 00:55:18,507
- Yeah, and I'm Robert De Niro.
- Mr. De Niro, we've got to get inside.
776
00:55:18,674 --> 00:55:23,304
Aha, You and 10,000 other people.
Now move along. Movie stars only.
777
00:55:23,471 --> 00:55:26,515
Come on.
I've got a better idea.
778
00:55:27,082 --> 00:55:28,267
And cue talent.
779
00:55:28,476 --> 00:55:31,270
And now to present the award
for Best Supporting Actress
780
00:55:31,812 --> 00:55:34,774
Are Mariel Hemingway and Elliot Gould.
781
00:55:44,658 --> 00:55:45,951
Thank you.
782
00:55:46,118 --> 00:55:49,080
The nominees
for Best Supporting Actress are:
783
00:55:49,288 --> 00:55:51,582
Mary Lou Retton, "Fatal Affair",
784
00:55:51,749 --> 00:55:55,044
one woman's ordeal to overcome
the death of her cat,
785
00:55:55,211 --> 00:55:57,922
set against the background
of the Hindenburg disaster.
786
00:56:00,220 --> 00:56:02,482
[Pop Pop Pop]
787
00:56:04,011 --> 00:56:06,555
Morgan Fairchild, "Final Proposal",
788
00:56:06,722 --> 00:56:10,935
one courageous pioneer woman's
triumphant victory over Bulimia,
789
00:56:11,102 --> 00:56:13,971
set against the background
of the Donner Party Crossing.
790
00:56:17,838 --> 00:56:18,760
Ahem. Ahem.
791
00:56:21,860 --> 00:56:22,835
[Pop Pop]
792
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:29,000
Aaah... Aaah... Aaah...
793
00:56:31,956 --> 00:56:34,817
Very sorry about this,
but it's official police business.
794
00:56:37,712 --> 00:56:39,922
Shannen Doherty, "Basic Analysis",
795
00:56:40,089 --> 00:56:42,508
one woman's triumph
over a yeast infection,
796
00:56:42,675 --> 00:56:46,762
set against the background of the tragic
Buffalo Bill season of 1991.
797
00:56:57,189 --> 00:56:59,016
Thank you, sheriff.
798
00:56:59,483 --> 00:57:02,394
Still no word of Frank
or Rocco and his gang.
799
00:57:02,461 --> 00:57:04,797
Frankly, I'm getting worried.
Frank should have phoned in by now.
800
00:57:06,216 --> 00:57:08,550
[Beep Beep]
801
00:57:16,917 --> 00:57:20,247
Let me check your tickets folks.
lovely gown is that Cool Whip?
802
00:57:20,347 --> 00:57:21,283
Uh-huh.
803
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:25,384
All right, Tim and Erica Brown.
OK, enjoy the show.
804
00:57:26,093 --> 00:57:29,638
Let's see. Vanna White
and "Weird Al" Yankovic.
805
00:57:29,805 --> 00:57:31,931
Okay, enjoy the awards.
806
00:57:32,516 --> 00:57:33,893
Ready, 3... and 3.
807
00:57:34,060 --> 00:57:36,979
And Florence Henderson,
"Analysis of a Proposal"...
808
00:57:38,589 --> 00:57:41,600
- Rocco could be anywhere.
- He had plenty of time to plant the bomb.
Where could it be?
809
00:57:41,867 --> 00:57:44,737
- And the winner is...
- Boy, this is going to be dynamite.
810
00:57:44,804 --> 00:57:47,464
- Jane.
- Frank, Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
811
00:57:47,531 --> 00:57:50,659
Yes. Florence Henderson is going to win it,
it's about time.
812
00:57:50,826 --> 00:57:53,680
No, the bomb is in one of those envelopes.
813
00:57:53,826 --> 00:57:54,480
You're right!
814
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,280
And the winner is...
815
00:57:57,089 --> 00:57:58,025
- Aah!
- Aah!
816
00:57:58,250 --> 00:58:00,586
...Mary Lou Retton for "Fatal Affair".
817
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:02,565
Yes! Yes!
818
00:58:04,548 --> 00:58:07,051
I'm sorry, we were rooting
for Florence Henderson.
819
00:58:07,218 --> 00:58:09,954
We've got to get to the envelopes.
before they open any more of them.
820
00:58:13,946 --> 00:58:14,951
Yes!
821
00:58:19,355 --> 00:58:23,058
- I never realized there'd be this many.
- They added 75 new categories.
822
00:58:23,225 --> 00:58:25,403
"Best Actor in a Columbus movie"?
823
00:58:25,569 --> 00:58:29,949
To present the award for Best Director is
star of stage and screen Raquel Welch
824
00:58:30,157 --> 00:58:33,886
and the distinguish host of his own
award-winning talk show Phil Donahue.
825
00:58:33,994 --> 00:58:37,790
That might be the envelope
for the bomb. Keep looking here.
826
00:58:37,957 --> 00:58:40,793
One more second, Mr. Donahue.
827
00:58:40,900 --> 00:58:41,792
Ugh!
828
00:58:56,142 --> 00:58:59,395
Oh, my God! Look at Donahue.
829
00:59:06,318 --> 00:59:09,155
[Director]
Stop the stairs, Joey. Joey!
830
00:59:09,838 --> 00:59:10,400
Whoa!
831
00:59:11,449 --> 00:59:15,453
Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen,
it's my pleasure to present the...
832
00:59:21,417 --> 00:59:22,668
What the hell?!
833
00:59:25,521 --> 00:59:26,740
Jesus!
834
00:59:26,921 --> 00:59:27,840
Go to commercial.
835
00:59:28,849 --> 00:59:31,886
Easy now easy talk to me.
What happened, Ma?
836
00:59:32,053 --> 00:59:35,447
Slasher is Frank Drebin
of Police Squad.
837
00:59:35,614 --> 00:59:41,328
Lousy, two-bit copper punk!! I treated him
like my brother... the one I didn't kill.
838
00:59:41,495 --> 00:59:45,074
- He might find the bomb.
- Not if I find him first.
839
00:59:46,358 --> 00:59:51,130
- Back from commercial in 5 seconds.
- Hurry up with the mike. Cue Donahue.
in 3, 2...
840
00:59:51,397 --> 00:59:52,297
Ahem.
841
00:59:54,325 --> 00:59:56,285
Read it, Read it,
Read the card, moron.
842
00:59:59,914 --> 01:00:03,959
"Well, Raquel, this certainly is
a special evening. Phew!"
843
01:00:04,126 --> 01:00:06,921
"I can barely catch my breath.
Turn it over to Raquel."
844
01:00:07,088 --> 01:00:10,424
"Raquel: I'm used to being out of breath,
working out to my..."
845
01:00:10,591 --> 01:00:11,767
What's the hell he doing?!
846
01:00:11,894 --> 01:00:13,850
"Hold for laughter and applause."
847
01:00:13,893 --> 01:00:16,764
"To Phil: 'Gets me
out of breath just watching you."'
848
01:00:16,951 --> 01:00:19,091
"To Raquel: 'Oh, Phil..."'
849
01:00:19,377 --> 01:00:20,644
I'm supposed to read that.
850
01:00:20,918 --> 01:00:24,471
But let's get to the subject at hand.
Pick up the envelope..."
851
01:00:24,638 --> 01:00:29,318
The nominees for best director are:
Sir Richard Attenborough
852
01:00:29,485 --> 01:00:34,073
for his musical based on the life
of Mother Teresa, "Mother".
853
01:00:34,281 --> 01:00:36,817
♫ Food, I love food
and I'm really in the mood ♫
854
01:00:36,984 --> 01:00:40,287
♫ for a big corn dog of pooh-pooh platter
two ding-dongs, it doesn't matter ♫
855
01:00:40,454 --> 01:00:43,416
♫ and some tuna helper,
I'll be racing back for more ♫
856
01:00:43,582 --> 01:00:47,111
♫ But don't get any sausage
cause I'll blow chunks on the floor, hey ♫
857
01:00:47,207 --> 01:00:49,251
♫ Ooh ♫
858
01:00:49,293 --> 01:00:51,077
♫ Ooh ♫
859
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:52,077
♫ Ooh ♫
860
01:00:52,621 --> 01:00:54,121
♫ Ya-hoo ♫
861
01:00:55,761 --> 01:00:59,223
Spike Lee, "X II - The Merchandising"
862
01:00:59,849 --> 01:01:03,853
Nordberg, look. That's Frank
at the Academy Awards.
863
01:01:04,019 --> 01:01:05,613
Hey, how did he get tickets?
864
01:01:05,881 --> 01:01:06,211
Nordberg!
865
01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:12,069
That's where Rocco Dillon is going to strike next
He's planning on blowing up the Academy Awards.
866
01:01:12,278 --> 01:01:15,798
- We have to get there.
- But, Captain We're not invited. We're cops.
867
01:01:17,742 --> 01:01:19,371
- It's for you.
868
01:01:20,242 --> 01:01:22,571
- Nordberg, Police Squad.
- [Ed] Men, it's a code red alert!
869
01:01:22,838 --> 01:01:24,708
- Hello. Hello.
- [Ed] C'mon! There's not a moment to loose.
870
01:01:24,808 --> 01:01:25,775
All right, let's go!
Hustle!
871
01:01:25,975 --> 01:01:28,003
Henderson, see about this phone.
I think it's broke.
872
01:01:30,921 --> 01:01:34,050
And now, here are today's
lucky lotto numbers.
873
01:01:34,250 --> 01:01:39,556
Get your tickets ready because
here they come: 12, 22, 18 and 9.
874
01:01:39,677 --> 01:01:40,581
- Ahh!
- Ahh!
875
01:01:40,923 --> 01:01:45,244
And for his tale of genetics gone
haywire in a retirement community,
876
01:01:45,511 --> 01:01:48,731
Steven Spielberg, "Geriatric Park".
877
01:01:49,443 --> 01:01:51,879
[Rumbling]
878
01:01:54,227 --> 01:01:55,836
- Aah!
- Aah!
879
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,402
[Coughing]
880
01:01:57,489 --> 01:01:59,751
- Aah!
- Aah!
881
01:01:59,838 --> 01:02:00,751
Ah...
882
01:02:00,838 --> 01:02:01,752
Ah...
883
01:02:01,838 --> 01:02:02,795
Ah... Ah...
884
01:02:02,922 --> 01:02:03,709
Ah... Ah...
885
01:02:04,682 --> 01:02:05,709
Ah-choo!
886
01:02:08,867 --> 01:02:11,279
And the winner is...
887
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:13,403
Uh,
888
01:02:13,672 --> 01:02:15,950
- Raquel, just a second.
- Now what?
889
01:02:16,006 --> 01:02:18,202
- I just had a thought.
- Oh, great.
890
01:02:18,369 --> 01:02:21,472
This show is being seen
all over the world, I was thinking
891
01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:24,950
if we could all just send good thoughts
transmit them through these cameras here,
892
01:02:25,317 --> 01:02:29,855
to men like the leader of China,
Wing Wa Woo Tong,
893
01:02:30,522 --> 01:02:33,284
so that they might finally be nice.
894
01:02:33,951 --> 01:02:35,236
Thank you.
895
01:02:37,638 --> 01:02:39,532
And the winner is...
896
01:02:39,698 --> 01:02:45,721
Uh, Raquel, so many go to bed hungry
in this nation, yet cat food is full of tuna.
897
01:02:45,888 --> 01:02:51,410
I can't help think each time I go to the zoo and
see those porpoises crammed into those tiny tanks,
898
01:02:51,519 --> 01:02:54,213
What a waste that is.
899
01:02:54,380 --> 01:02:59,593
Butcher half of them now! That's hundreds of pounds of
dolphin meat that can be fed to our cats,
900
01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:03,064
freeing up that tuna
for our nation's hungry.
901
01:03:03,664 --> 01:03:05,564
[Clapping]
902
01:03:08,811 --> 01:03:12,857
- And the winner is...
- So many are cold,
903
01:03:13,065 --> 01:03:18,471
shivering in the night. So I say,
"Take those cats, skin them."
904
01:03:18,738 --> 01:03:21,826
Use their fur to keep hundreds warm.
905
01:03:22,226 --> 01:03:23,826
Jesus, Phil.
906
01:03:24,093 --> 01:03:25,987
And... the winner is...
907
01:03:35,162 --> 01:03:36,945
- You!
- Give me that!
908
01:03:38,076 --> 01:03:39,380
Ohh!
909
01:03:39,468 --> 01:03:40,946
Hyah!
910
01:03:45,535 --> 01:03:46,382
Not one move.
911
01:03:46,470 --> 01:03:47,487
That barrel's cold.
912
01:03:47,574 --> 01:03:49,192
It's room temperature.
Let's go.
913
01:03:51,078 --> 01:03:53,856
It's OK.
It's not the bomb.
914
01:03:58,790 --> 01:03:59,646
Ohh!
915
01:03:59,690 --> 01:04:01,169
Oh, no!
916
01:04:02,690 --> 01:04:03,147
Jane?
917
01:04:04,090 --> 01:04:04,670
Jane?
918
01:04:04,856 --> 01:04:07,019
Big trouble... aah!
919
01:04:07,649 --> 01:04:08,519
[Pop Pop Pop]
920
01:04:08,962 --> 01:04:09,519
Jane?
921
01:04:09,662 --> 01:04:10,997
[Pop Pop Pop]
922
01:04:12,585 --> 01:04:13,041
Jane?
923
01:04:13,241 --> 01:04:14,154
Silver hair...
924
01:04:14,242 --> 01:04:15,216
About 6' 2"...
925
01:04:15,303 --> 01:04:17,286
- Kinda of looked like Phil Donahue.
- Yeah
926
01:04:17,373 --> 01:04:18,287
Jane...
927
01:04:18,373 --> 01:04:19,635
That's the guy!
928
01:04:19,721 --> 01:04:20,983
Get him!
Get him!
929
01:04:22,968 --> 01:04:24,218
Ladies and gentlemen,
930
01:04:24,368 --> 01:04:27,765
Please welcome internationally
renowned actress and singing star
931
01:04:27,932 --> 01:04:29,184
Pia Zadora.
932
01:04:29,532 --> 01:04:31,620
♫ You're walkin' along the street ♫
933
01:04:31,707 --> 01:04:33,620
♫ Or you're at a party... ♫
934
01:04:33,707 --> 01:04:34,620
There he is!
935
01:04:34,708 --> 01:04:36,143
♫ Or else you're alone... ♫
936
01:04:36,148 --> 01:04:40,594
- Excuse me, is that snot on your shoe?
- Snot? Where?
Ouuh....
937
01:04:40,883 --> 01:04:42,618
We've lost him.
He gotta be here some place.
938
01:04:42,805 --> 01:04:44,058
I'll stay here.
You check the wings.
939
01:04:44,145 --> 01:04:47,929
♫ That this could be
the start of somethin' big ♫
940
01:04:47,972 --> 01:04:48,928
♫ There's no... ♫
941
01:04:49,686 --> 01:04:52,523
Oh, no. Not him again.
Please, God.
942
01:04:52,538 --> 01:04:53,443
He got away.
943
01:04:53,487 --> 01:04:56,687
♫ Who knows what's written
in that magic book? ♫
944
01:04:57,174 --> 01:05:00,193
♫ But when a lover you discover ♫
945
01:05:00,279 --> 01:05:01,976
♫ At the gate, my friend ♫
946
01:05:02,062 --> 01:05:06,368
♫ Invite him in
without a second look ♫
947
01:05:06,455 --> 01:05:09,020
♫ You're watchin' the sun come up ♫
948
01:05:09,108 --> 01:05:10,412
♫ Or countin' your mon... ♫
949
01:05:51,057 --> 01:05:52,641
Grab him!
Come on, get off the stage!
950
01:05:55,641 --> 01:05:57,338
Aah!
951
01:06:03,069 --> 01:06:06,105
I'm Ed Hocken. This is
Officer Nordberg, from Police Squad.
952
01:06:06,272 --> 01:06:09,450
- We're here to prevent a disaster.
- You're too late for that.
953
01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:16,342
♫ You're watchin' the sun come up ♫
954
01:06:16,345 --> 01:06:17,563
Hey, it's Frank.
955
01:06:17,951 --> 01:06:20,821
♫ Or countin' your money ♫
956
01:06:20,909 --> 01:06:24,475
♫ Or else in a dim cafe ♫
957
01:06:24,562 --> 01:06:28,128
♫ You're orderin' wine ♫
958
01:06:28,215 --> 01:06:30,954
♫ Then suddenly there he is ♫
959
01:06:31,042 --> 01:06:33,172
♫ You want to be where he is ♫
960
01:06:33,373 --> 01:06:36,126
Come on, Nordberg.
We've got to get to Frank.
961
01:06:36,226 --> 01:06:37,087
♫ The start of somethin' ♫
962
01:06:37,130 --> 01:06:39,957
♫ This could be
the heart of somethin' ♫
963
01:06:40,044 --> 01:06:43,001
♫ This could be
the start of somethin' ♫
964
01:06:43,045 --> 01:06:53,047
♫ Big..... ♫
965
01:06:53,178 --> 01:06:55,221
Aah!
966
01:06:57,004 --> 01:06:57,831
Ohh!
967
01:07:07,032 --> 01:07:07,925
Jane!
968
01:07:13,455 --> 01:07:14,149
Jane!
969
01:07:16,125 --> 01:07:16,710
Aha!
970
01:07:16,810 --> 01:07:21,088
I knew I'd bump into you around here somewhere.
I want answers, cherry cakes.
971
01:07:21,255 --> 01:07:22,723
- I love you.
- Wrong answer.
972
01:07:22,881 --> 01:07:25,390
I've dropped out of
the "Sap of the Month" Club long time ago.
973
01:07:25,477 --> 01:07:28,047
Now, listen to me angel drawers,
you've got one last chance.
974
01:07:28,179 --> 01:07:32,283
And I don't mean one of those Major-League-
Baseball-Steve-Howe kind of last chances.
975
01:07:32,450 --> 01:07:34,961
- Now, where is Jane?
- I swear I don't know.
976
01:07:35,127 --> 01:07:38,247
- All right then where is the bomb?
- It's in the Best Picture envelope.
977
01:07:38,514 --> 01:07:39,809
Oh, Mr. Drebin, I want to go straight.
978
01:07:42,176 --> 01:07:47,765
I'm tired of the lies.
Oh, kiss me. Please, kiss me.
979
01:07:47,932 --> 01:07:52,195
I've never kissed lips
so innocent, so pure.
980
01:08:13,198 --> 01:08:15,633
He looked little like Phil Donahue,
white hair...
981
01:08:16,221 --> 01:08:17,312
That's the guy!
982
01:08:17,599 --> 01:08:18,113
Frank?
983
01:08:18,199 --> 01:08:19,331
I'll get him, Captain.
984
01:08:19,365 --> 01:08:20,365
Ladies and gentlemen,
985
01:08:20,465 --> 01:08:24,510
To present the Best Picture Award
are two of America's most distinguished actors.
986
01:08:24,777 --> 01:08:27,680
Olympia Dukakis
and James Earl Jones.
987
01:08:35,725 --> 01:08:37,108
Lord, what's that?
988
01:08:37,596 --> 01:08:40,197
Looks like Phil Donahue
throwing up in a tuba.
989
01:08:40,683 --> 01:08:41,906
Someone make a note.
990
01:08:42,092 --> 01:08:44,728
I dont think we shouldn't have
Phil Donahue back next year.
991
01:08:44,814 --> 01:08:47,076
Thank you.
Thank you. Good evening.
992
01:08:47,564 --> 01:08:50,477
It's a privilege for us
to present the final award
993
01:08:50,563 --> 01:08:51,781
of tonight's ceremony.
994
01:08:51,869 --> 01:08:53,326
(...The nominees for Best Picture are...)
Frank, we've been worried about you.
995
01:08:53,469 --> 01:08:55,644
(...Basic Attraction..)
Where's Rocco? Where's Tanya?
996
01:08:55,687 --> 01:08:57,544
(...Unlawful Affair, Fatal Analysis...)
Come on Frank, sit down.
Take it easy.
997
01:08:57,688 --> 01:08:59,122
Frank, thank God you're alright.
998
01:08:59,210 --> 01:09:03,211
... Indecent Instincts,
and Sawdust and Mildew.
999
01:09:03,582 --> 01:09:07,837
Oddly enough Olympia, Every one of these movies
was a box office hit except for one.
1000
01:09:08,003 --> 01:09:10,174
(...And now...)
- What's that?
- It's the Best Picture Award.
1001
01:09:10,334 --> 01:09:12,074
(...the moment we 've all been waiting for...)
Yeah, my money's on Sawdust and Mildew
1002
01:09:12,341 --> 01:09:14,343
Olympia,
would you do the honors, please?
1003
01:09:14,436 --> 01:09:15,827
Oh, my God!
1004
01:09:16,515 --> 01:09:17,163
That's the one!
1005
01:09:17,449 --> 01:09:20,076
The award for
this year's Best Picture
1006
01:09:20,163 --> 01:09:21,276
goes to...
1007
01:09:21,864 --> 01:09:22,424
Wait!
1008
01:09:22,512 --> 01:09:23,512
Oh, great.
1009
01:09:23,898 --> 01:09:25,034
Sorry about this.
1010
01:09:25,077 --> 01:09:27,034
Loved you in Coneheads.
You, too.
1011
01:09:27,078 --> 01:09:28,731
Let me open this.
1012
01:09:30,688 --> 01:09:32,079
[Beep Beep]
1013
01:09:32,903 --> 01:09:35,489
It's the bomb!
1014
01:09:42,856 --> 01:09:44,857
- Aah!
- Aah!
1015
01:09:45,291 --> 01:09:47,927
Freeze, and nobody gets hurt!
1016
01:09:49,336 --> 01:09:51,797
Well, from now on.
1017
01:09:51,980 --> 01:09:54,981
Back in your seats, you little weasels!
the party's over!
1018
01:09:55,067 --> 01:09:56,894
This program's been
permanently interrupted.
1019
01:09:56,938 --> 01:09:58,938
OK, everybody don't panic.
Stay with it.
1020
01:09:59,338 --> 01:10:01,191
Camera 2,
move in on the old lady.
1021
01:10:01,278 --> 01:10:02,608
Woh... better move back, 2.
1022
01:10:02,696 --> 01:10:04,014
I said, no one move!
1023
01:10:04,300 --> 01:10:06,214
Sit down!
Now, pay attention!
1024
01:10:06,401 --> 01:10:09,967
I want to kill nobody
unless I have to, you here me.
1025
01:10:10,010 --> 01:10:12,794
All right, drop your guns
and kick them over here.
1026
01:10:17,314 --> 01:10:21,193
I believe that bomb belongs to me.
Hand it over, Drebin.
1027
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:24,029
You want to do the honors
of killing him, Ma?
1028
01:10:24,613 --> 01:10:27,408
Blink, and I start shooting.
1029
01:10:33,038 --> 01:10:34,999
[Frank]
Give me that gun.
1030
01:10:35,916 --> 01:10:39,628
- Oh, my God!
- I'm not falling for that one, sister.
1031
01:10:41,183 --> 01:10:43,880
Aah!
1032
01:10:45,014 --> 01:10:46,529
I'm not well!
1033
01:10:47,015 --> 01:10:49,368
Get this thing off me!
1034
01:10:50,056 --> 01:10:50,778
Ohh! Great
1035
01:10:50,956 --> 01:10:52,578
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
1036
01:10:55,017 --> 01:10:55,665
Ma!
1037
01:10:55,709 --> 01:10:56,840
She's a goner, Rocco.
1038
01:10:57,627 --> 01:10:59,584
Dead. Then that's it.
1039
01:10:59,671 --> 01:11:02,411
I'm coming with you, Ma!
1040
01:11:03,598 --> 01:11:05,777
Pull out the bomb Drebin.
If you don't, I'll shoot the dame
1041
01:11:05,977 --> 01:11:07,790
All right, Rocco.
All right.
1042
01:11:08,157 --> 01:11:09,286
I'll do what you say.
1043
01:11:09,430 --> 01:11:10,187
Frank...
1044
01:11:10,330 --> 01:11:11,360
Just don't harm her.
1045
01:11:11,627 --> 01:11:14,687
Frank if you pull out the bomb, you'll kill me anyway
and everyone else in the theater.
1046
01:11:14,714 --> 01:11:16,018
Yeah. No dice, Rocco.
1047
01:11:16,462 --> 01:11:17,549
Then I'll plug her.
1048
01:11:17,636 --> 01:11:19,723
You shoot her,
I'll empty this envelope.
1049
01:11:19,811 --> 01:11:21,000
Frank, think about it.
1050
01:11:21,020 --> 01:11:22,368
It's all right,
You'll be dead.
1051
01:11:23,455 --> 01:11:26,456
Then you'll kill yourself
and everyone here.
1052
01:11:26,543 --> 01:11:27,378
Yeah.
1053
01:11:27,422 --> 01:11:30,031
I'll shoot you Drebin.
if you don't do as I say.
1054
01:11:30,118 --> 01:11:31,205
Jane?
1055
01:11:31,592 --> 01:11:33,462
I'd be safe so did everyone else,
1056
01:11:34,348 --> 01:11:35,271
but you'd be dead.
1057
01:11:35,415 --> 01:11:37,241
This is getting little complicated, Rocco.
1058
01:11:37,928 --> 01:11:39,099
Let's look at this logically.
1059
01:11:39,485 --> 01:11:41,486
You're the psychotic.
You should have the envelope.
1060
01:11:41,678 --> 01:11:42,559
I should have the gun.
1061
01:11:42,659 --> 01:11:43,259
Frank.
1062
01:11:43,325 --> 01:11:44,870
I know what I'm doing.
1063
01:11:52,749 --> 01:11:53,972
All right!
1064
01:11:55,776 --> 01:11:57,124
Here's your Best Picture!
1065
01:11:57,212 --> 01:11:58,903
In front of the whole
world wide audience,
1066
01:11:59,141 --> 01:12:00,343
this place is going up.
1067
01:12:00,543 --> 01:12:04,221
Well, if I'm going out, I'm going out happy.
1068
01:12:04,388 --> 01:12:07,516
Wait a minute, Rocco.
before we're all blown to bits.
1069
01:12:07,683 --> 01:12:11,937
Mind if I pull the underwear out of my crack?
A man's got to go comfortable.
1070
01:12:12,104 --> 01:12:13,574
All right, but that's it.
1071
01:12:16,556 --> 01:12:18,513
All right, Give it up, Rocco.
You're a history.
1072
01:12:18,613 --> 01:12:20,026
Look, George Hamilton!
1073
01:12:22,013 --> 01:12:23,732
Ah ha ha ha!
1074
01:12:24,218 --> 01:12:25,480
Come and get me, Drebin.
1075
01:12:28,758 --> 01:12:29,685
Throw me a gun!
1076
01:12:29,872 --> 01:12:31,399
Nordberg
Get rid of the bomb!
1077
01:12:31,540 --> 01:12:32,833
Hold on, sweetheart.
1078
01:12:36,002 --> 01:12:37,413
Frank, help me!
1079
01:12:37,780 --> 01:12:39,523
- Frank!
- I know what I'm doing.
1080
01:12:40,736 --> 01:12:42,006
Aah!
1081
01:12:43,243 --> 01:12:44,879
I hate heights.
1082
01:12:45,372 --> 01:12:47,285
Ohh! Oh, no!
1083
01:12:48,772 --> 01:12:49,938
Move it, sister!
1084
01:12:51,425 --> 01:12:52,083
Aah!
1085
01:12:52,225 --> 01:12:53,882
Screw the commercials!
We're sticking with this.
1086
01:12:54,226 --> 01:12:56,883
All right, copper,
you killed my ma!
1087
01:12:57,227 --> 01:12:59,262
I'm taking the dame
away from you.
1088
01:12:59,306 --> 01:13:00,884
You hear me, copper?
1089
01:13:01,328 --> 01:13:03,437
One push and Mrs. Drebin
here becomes linoleum.
1090
01:13:03,925 --> 01:13:06,812
Get a camera up there. I dont care how.
This could be my best work.
1091
01:13:07,099 --> 01:13:09,334
Any last words sweetheart,
before I throw you off this catwalk?
1092
01:13:09,621 --> 01:13:11,466
Yes. Don't do it.
1093
01:13:12,308 --> 01:13:13,557
Anything else?
1094
01:13:13,744 --> 01:13:15,279
Frank, I love you.
1095
01:13:15,751 --> 01:13:18,587
Yes, I want the world to know
you're the perfect man.
1096
01:13:18,954 --> 01:13:22,750
- Oh, Frank I hope you can hear me.
- They told me I couldn't do drama.
1097
01:13:22,917 --> 01:13:26,600
I was wrong taking you away from
Police Squad was a mistake.
1098
01:13:26,679 --> 01:13:31,234
I know now that's why you couldn't
perform decent sex with me.
1099
01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:34,520
Yes I realize that now Frank
and a lot of other things.
1100
01:13:34,687 --> 01:13:36,856
[Beep Beep]
Everything's under control.
1101
01:13:37,022 --> 01:13:40,651
Nobody moves!
Any vibration might set this thing off.
1102
01:13:40,851 --> 01:13:41,951
Aaaah....
1103
01:13:42,319 --> 01:13:44,572
Frank, I've learned my lesson.
1104
01:13:44,939 --> 01:13:50,444
And even though it may be too late for me,
I want all you ladies out there to remember something
1105
01:13:50,611 --> 01:13:53,155
Don't ever take your men for granted.
1106
01:13:53,322 --> 01:13:56,016
Because good men don't just fall out of the sky.
1107
01:13:56,115 --> 01:13:57,624
Aah!
1108
01:13:59,147 --> 01:14:00,713
Aah!
1109
01:14:01,500 --> 01:14:03,017
He's caught up in the cable
1110
01:14:03,105 --> 01:14:04,618
Frank, do something!
1111
01:14:06,285 --> 01:14:07,919
Hurry.
1112
01:14:12,937 --> 01:14:13,955
Ohh!
1113
01:14:15,994 --> 01:14:17,212
I'm coming, Ma!
1114
01:14:21,550 --> 01:14:22,679
Rocco?
1115
01:14:23,566 --> 01:14:24,695
Pahpshmir!
1116
01:14:38,075 --> 01:14:38,618
Jane,
1117
01:14:39,105 --> 01:14:41,087
I never want us
to be apart again.
1118
01:14:41,453 --> 01:14:42,358
Oh, Frank.
1119
01:14:42,801 --> 01:14:46,300
You like me.
You really like me!
1120
01:15:05,994 --> 01:15:07,529
Frank, slow down.
1121
01:15:07,817 --> 01:15:08,951
Hurry up! We're late!
1122
01:15:09,039 --> 01:15:10,852
Relax Frank
We've got plenty of time.
1123
01:15:10,939 --> 01:15:11,775
You bring the camcorder?
1124
01:15:11,817 --> 01:15:13,275
Right here.
What room's she in?
1125
01:15:13,375 --> 01:15:14,905
Delivery room.
This must be it.
1126
01:15:17,281 --> 01:15:19,667
Jane, I'm here.
Frank is here now
1127
01:15:19,767 --> 01:15:21,570
Push!
Bear down now.
1128
01:15:21,916 --> 01:15:23,270
Breathe, honey.
Breathe, Jane.
1129
01:15:23,337 --> 01:15:25,612
One more push.
That's it.
1130
01:15:26,400 --> 01:15:28,834
Congratulations, Dad, it's a boy.
1131
01:15:29,048 --> 01:15:30,092
[Baby Cries]
1132
01:15:32,430 --> 01:15:33,658
Nordberg!
1133
01:15:33,745 --> 01:15:34,974
You come back here!
1134
01:15:35,398 --> 01:15:36,937
Frank,
it's a boy.
1135
01:15:37,724 --> 01:15:38,769
I know.
1136
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:50,000
Subtitle By---KingJAIN
1137
01:20:07,028 --> 01:20:09,420
♫ You're walkin' along the street ♫
1138
01:20:09,506 --> 01:20:11,594
♫ Or you're at a party ♫
1139
01:20:11,681 --> 01:20:13,464
♫ Or else you're alone ♫
1140
01:20:13,507 --> 01:20:16,464
♫ And then you suddenly dig ♫
1141
01:20:16,508 --> 01:20:18,769
♫ You're lookin' in someone's eyes ♫
1142
01:20:18,856 --> 01:20:21,466
♫ You suddenly realize ♫
1143
01:20:21,552 --> 01:20:25,945
♫ That this could be the start
of somethin' big ♫
1144
01:20:26,032 --> 01:20:28,468
♫ There's no controllin'
the unrollin' ♫
1145
01:20:28,554 --> 01:20:30,468
♫ Of your fate, my friend ♫
1146
01:20:30,555 --> 01:20:35,295
♫ Who knows what's written
in that magic book? ♫
1147
01:20:35,382 --> 01:20:37,818
♫ And when a lover you discover ♫
1148
01:20:37,905 --> 01:20:39,819
♫ At the gate, my friend ♫
1149
01:20:39,905 --> 01:20:44,645
♫ Invite him in
without a second look ♫
1150
01:20:44,733 --> 01:20:46,733
♫ You're watchin' the sun come up ♫
1151
01:20:46,820 --> 01:20:48,908
♫ Or countin' your money ♫
1152
01:20:48,995 --> 01:20:51,561
♫ Or else in a dim cafe ♫
1153
01:20:51,647 --> 01:20:53,909
♫ You're orderin' wine ♫
1154
01:20:53,995 --> 01:20:56,257
♫ And suddenly there he is ♫
1155
01:20:56,301 --> 01:20:59,084
♫ You want to be where he is ♫
1156
01:20:59,171 --> 01:21:01,824
♫ And this must be
the start of somethin' ♫
1157
01:21:01,911 --> 01:21:04,433
♫ This could be
the heart of somethin' ♫
1158
01:21:04,477 --> 01:21:07,521
♫ This could be
the start of somethin' big ♫
1159
01:21:27,353 --> 01:21:30,701
♫ You're watchin' the sun come up ♫
1160
01:21:30,787 --> 01:21:34,354
♫ Or countin' your money ♫
1161
01:21:34,441 --> 01:21:38,268
♫ Or else in a dim cafe ♫
1162
01:21:38,355 --> 01:21:41,964
♫ You're orderin' wine ♫
1163
01:21:42,052 --> 01:21:44,444
♫ Then suddenly there he is ♫
1164
01:21:44,530 --> 01:21:47,401
♫ You want to be where he is ♫
1165
01:21:47,445 --> 01:21:50,576
♫ And this could be
the start of somethin' ♫
1166
01:21:50,619 --> 01:21:53,445
♫ This could be
the heart of somethin' ♫
1167
01:21:53,445 --> 01:21:56,446
♫ This could be
the start of somethin' ♫
1168
01:21:56,490 --> 01:22:06,449
♫ Big... ♫
94879
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