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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,560 Since the beginning of time... 3 00:01:35,883 --> 00:01:38,807 Since the first little girl ever existed 4 00:01:39,753 --> 00:01:41,587 There have been 5 00:01:41,744 --> 00:01:43,744 Dolls 6 00:01:45,351 --> 00:01:47,870 But dolls were always and forever 7 00:01:48,032 --> 00:01:49,333 Baby dolls 8 00:01:51,426 --> 00:01:55,476 The girls who played with them could only every play at being mother 9 00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:57,675 Which can be fun... 10 00:01:58,607 --> 00:02:00,720 At least for a while anyway 11 00:02:02,007 --> 00:02:03,707 Ask your mother 12 00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:08,001 This continued until 13 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,889 Yes, Barbie changed everything 14 00:03:18,736 --> 00:03:21,177 Then she changed it all again 15 00:03:21,716 --> 00:03:23,469 All of these women are Barbie 16 00:03:23,762 --> 00:03:26,661 and Barbie is all of these women 17 00:03:27,476 --> 00:03:30,702 She might have started out as just a lady in a bathing suit, 18 00:03:30,822 --> 00:03:33,196 but she became so much more 19 00:03:33,845 --> 00:03:36,234 She has her own money, her own house, 20 00:03:36,354 --> 00:03:39,088 her own car, her own career 21 00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:44,569 Because Barbie can be anything, women can be anything 22 00:03:45,065 --> 00:03:47,282 And this has been reflected back 23 00:03:47,402 --> 00:03:50,784 onto the little girls of today in the real world 24 00:03:51,507 --> 00:03:53,259 Girls can grow into women 25 00:03:53,379 --> 00:03:57,193 who can achieve everything and anything they set their mind to 26 00:03:57,734 --> 00:03:59,086 Thanks to Barbie 27 00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:02,281 all problems of feminism and equal rights 28 00:04:02,717 --> 00:04:04,362 have been solved 29 00:04:05,706 --> 00:04:08,370 At least that's what the Barbies think 30 00:04:08,490 --> 00:04:11,204 After all, they're living in Barbie Land 31 00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:13,811 Who am I to burst their bubble? 32 00:04:14,867 --> 00:04:17,277 And here is one of those Barbies now 33 00:04:17,397 --> 00:04:20,220 Living her best day every day 34 00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:20,030 When you're playing with Barbies 35 00:06:20,182 --> 00:06:24,037 Nobody bothers to walk them down the stairs and out the door etc. 36 00:06:24,724 --> 00:06:27,581 You just pick them up and put them where you want them to go 37 00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:32,501 You use your imagination. 38 00:06:36,788 --> 00:06:38,367 - Hi, Skipper! - Hi, Barbie! 39 00:06:38,368 --> 00:06:38,980 Hi, Midge! 40 00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,272 Midge was Barbie's pregnant friend. 41 00:06:41,852 --> 00:06:45,029 Well let's not show Midge actually She was discontinued by Mattel 42 00:06:45,149 --> 00:06:47,620 because a pregnant doll is just too weird. 43 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:51,440 Anyway, Barbie has another big day ahead of her. 44 00:06:51,647 --> 00:06:52,731 Hi, Barbie! 45 00:06:54,204 --> 00:06:55,804 - Hi, Barbie! - Morning, Barbie! 46 00:06:56,126 --> 00:06:57,626 Hi! 47 00:06:57,726 --> 00:06:59,726 - Have another great day! - Good morning Barbie! 48 00:06:59,727 --> 00:07:01,426 Hi! 49 00:07:01,451 --> 00:07:03,051 Hey, ladies! 50 00:07:05,937 --> 00:07:07,684 Everybody, turn to the Barbie next to you. 51 00:07:07,708 --> 00:07:09,756 Tell her how much you love her, compliment her. 52 00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:11,963 Reporter Barbie, you can ask me any question you want. 53 00:07:11,987 --> 00:07:13,486 How come you're so amazing? 54 00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:14,700 No comment. 55 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,262 No seriously, no comment. 56 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,391 I love you guys. 57 00:07:21,511 --> 00:07:23,516 The Nobel Prize for Journalism 58 00:07:23,841 --> 00:07:25,491 goes to Barbie! 59 00:07:25,907 --> 00:07:28,255 I work very hard so I deserve it. 60 00:07:28,375 --> 00:07:31,311 And the Nobel Prize for Literature goes to Barbie. 61 00:07:31,739 --> 00:07:34,339 - You are the voice of a generation. - I know. 62 00:07:34,602 --> 00:07:36,645 In our assessment, money is not speech and 63 00:07:36,669 --> 00:07:39,413 corporations have no free speech rights to begin with 64 00:07:39,533 --> 00:07:41,954 So any claim on their part to be exercising their right 65 00:07:42,074 --> 00:07:45,641 is just their attempt to turn our democracy into a plutocracy 66 00:07:46,712 --> 00:07:48,893 This makes me emotional and I'm expressing it 67 00:07:49,313 --> 00:07:54,230 I have no difficulty holding both logic and feeling at the same time 68 00:07:54,288 --> 00:07:56,536 And it does not diminish my powers 69 00:07:56,881 --> 00:07:58,131 It expands them 70 00:08:07,165 --> 00:08:08,200 Hi Barbie! 71 00:08:09,012 --> 00:08:11,162 What can't Barbie do? 72 00:08:12,111 --> 00:08:13,139 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 73 00:08:13,988 --> 00:08:15,210 Yay space! 74 00:08:16,948 --> 00:08:18,048 Gosh 75 00:08:23,698 --> 00:08:26,098 Barbie has a great day every day 76 00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:30,026 But Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him. 77 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,457 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Ken! 78 00:08:39,777 --> 00:08:41,472 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 79 00:08:41,573 --> 00:08:42,587 Hi, Barbie! 80 00:08:42,612 --> 00:08:43,572 Hi, Ken! 81 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:44,573 Hi, Ken. 82 00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:45,973 Hi, Ken! 83 00:08:45,298 --> 00:08:46,453 - Hi, Ken! - Hi, Ken! 84 00:08:46,454 --> 00:08:48,054 - I us both got ice creams - Cool 85 00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:50,180 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 86 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,790 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 87 00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:52,285 Hi, Barbie! 88 00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:54,181 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 89 00:08:54,182 --> 00:08:55,076 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Ken! 90 00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,109 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 91 00:08:57,229 --> 00:08:58,505 Hi, Barbie! 92 00:08:58,525 --> 00:09:01,613 - Hi, Barbies! - Bye, Barbies! 93 00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:03,178 Hi, Barbie! 94 00:09:03,202 --> 00:09:04,590 Oh hi, Alan! 95 00:09:04,701 --> 00:09:07,489 There are no multiples of Alan, he's just Alan 96 00:09:07,509 --> 00:09:08,507 Yeah I'm ... uh .... 97 00:09:08,963 --> 00:09:10,307 confused about that 98 00:09:10,991 --> 00:09:12,957 Hey Barbie, check me out 99 00:09:31,296 --> 00:09:32,296 Ken! 100 00:09:49,527 --> 00:09:51,079 - Ken? - Oh hey, Barbie 101 00:09:51,099 --> 00:09:51,937 Hi 102 00:09:51,961 --> 00:09:53,482 How much of that did you see? 103 00:09:53,874 --> 00:09:54,974 We saw the whole thing 104 00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:56,636 Let's get you up on your feet Ken 105 00:09:56,756 --> 00:09:58,876 - You're just so strong - Use your legs 106 00:09:58,896 --> 00:10:00,975 - Are you ok? - Yep 107 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:04,014 Looks like this beach was a little too much beach for you, Ken 108 00:10:04,134 --> 00:10:07,316 If I wasn't severly injured I would beach you off right now, Ken 109 00:10:07,336 --> 00:10:09,312 I'll beach off with you any day, Ken 110 00:10:09,336 --> 00:10:10,786 Hold my ice cream, Ken 111 00:10:11,464 --> 00:10:12,964 Alright Ken, you're on 112 00:10:13,995 --> 00:10:14,923 Let's beach off 113 00:10:15,043 --> 00:10:17,507 Anyone who wants to beach him off has to beach me off first 114 00:10:17,527 --> 00:10:19,782 I will beach both of you off at the same time 115 00:10:19,902 --> 00:10:21,566 But you don't even know how to beach yourself off, how are 116 00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:22,504 - you going to beach both of - Okay... 117 00:10:22,528 --> 00:10:23,354 us off that doesn't make sense 118 00:10:23,386 --> 00:10:25,213 - Kens? - Why are you getting emotional? 119 00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:28,133 - You're going to beach both of us off? - No one's going to beach anyone off 120 00:10:29,148 --> 00:10:30,048 Okay? 121 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:31,300 Let's go 122 00:10:32,405 --> 00:10:33,556 Okay, okay 123 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,051 Let's go 124 00:10:46,676 --> 00:10:48,916 - Barbie, hold my hand - You're okay 125 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,982 Stay with me, Barbie 126 00:10:52,420 --> 00:10:55,243 Great, not even broken. You'll be fine 127 00:10:55,565 --> 00:10:58,208 Shredding waves is much more dangerous than people realize 128 00:10:58,232 --> 00:10:59,598 You're very brave, Ken 129 00:11:00,915 --> 00:11:02,539 - Thank you, Barbie - Yeah 130 00:11:02,634 --> 00:11:04,222 You know surfer is not even my job 131 00:11:04,342 --> 00:11:06,321 - I know - And it is not lifeguard 132 00:11:06,441 --> 00:11:08,144 Which is a common misconception 133 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,011 Very common 134 00:11:09,031 --> 00:11:10,331 Yeah cus actually my job 135 00:11:11,624 --> 00:11:13,943 - It's just beach - Right 136 00:11:14,063 --> 00:11:17,156 - And what a good job you do at beach - You should heal up in no time 137 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,742 Actually, in the time that it took for me to say that sentence 138 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:20,477 you healed 139 00:11:20,497 --> 00:11:22,022 - Fantastic - Nice! 140 00:11:22,142 --> 00:11:23,188 - Hey Barbie - Yeah? 141 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:25,242 - Can I come to your house tonight? - Sure! 142 00:11:25,362 --> 00:11:27,532 I don't have anything big planned, just a giant blow out party 143 00:11:27,652 --> 00:11:30,096 with all the Barbies and planned choreography and a bespoke song 144 00:11:30,216 --> 00:11:31,366 You should stop by 145 00:11:31,807 --> 00:11:33,814 - So, cool? - Yeah. Okay 146 00:11:33,849 --> 00:11:35,149 - Bye! - Ok, bye. Goodbye 147 00:12:43,149 --> 00:12:45,449 - Hi, Barbie - Hi, Ken 148 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:54,729 - Looking good, Barbie! - Thanks, Ken! 149 00:13:08,477 --> 00:13:10,127 - Oh hi, Ken! - Hi 150 00:13:11,919 --> 00:13:12,819 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 151 00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:13,519 Barbie! 152 00:13:14,644 --> 00:13:15,794 What's up, Ken? 153 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,575 Hey Barbie, check me out 154 00:13:34,505 --> 00:13:36,405 Bet you can't do a flip like that, Ken 155 00:13:37,993 --> 00:13:38,793 What? 156 00:13:39,263 --> 00:13:41,563 - This is a real rager, Barbie. - Thanks, Barbie! 157 00:13:41,564 --> 00:13:42,135 Gosh 158 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,746 This night is just perfect! 159 00:13:43,770 --> 00:13:45,296 It's perfectly perfect 160 00:13:45,380 --> 00:13:47,660 And you look so beautiful, Barbie 161 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:50,346 - Thanks, Barbie. I feel so beautiful - So do I 162 00:13:50,366 --> 00:13:52,875 - This is the best day ever - It is the best day ever 163 00:13:52,995 --> 00:13:54,967 And so was yesterday and so is tomorrow 164 00:13:54,987 --> 00:13:57,076 and so was the day after tomorrow and even Wednesdays 165 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,989 every day from now until forever! 166 00:14:01,247 --> 00:14:03,247 Do you guys ever think about dying? 167 00:14:13,381 --> 00:14:15,031 I don't know why I just... 168 00:14:16,713 --> 00:14:19,050 I'm just dying to dance! 169 00:14:59,396 --> 00:15:00,760 You can go now 170 00:15:01,436 --> 00:15:03,900 - I thought I might stay over tonight - Why? 171 00:15:04,485 --> 00:15:06,985 - Because we're girlfriend boyfriend - To do what? 172 00:15:08,732 --> 00:15:09,958 I'm actually not sure 173 00:15:10,897 --> 00:15:12,938 Oh, but, I don't want you here 174 00:15:13,614 --> 00:15:15,941 - Is it Ken? - Ken's just a really good friend 175 00:15:16,161 --> 00:15:18,406 And this is my Dream House, it's Barbie's Dream House 176 00:15:18,430 --> 00:15:20,682 It's not Ken's Dream House, right? 177 00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:24,207 - Right as always - And it's girl's night 178 00:15:24,327 --> 00:15:26,178 Come on, Barbie! Slumber Party! 179 00:15:26,298 --> 00:15:29,041 - Hurry up, the President's here - I am! You're welcome 180 00:15:29,926 --> 00:15:33,024 - Every night is girl's night? - Mmhm. Every night. Forever. 181 00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:36,609 - Every night - Forever and ever 182 00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:38,631 - Good night - Good night 183 00:15:44,794 --> 00:15:46,309 I love you too 184 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,846 Girl's night! Girls night! Girls night! 185 00:15:49,371 --> 00:15:51,171 I can't. I gotta go 186 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:54,201 Girl's night! Girls night! Girls night! 187 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:02,726 Good night, Barbies! I'm definitely not thinking about death anymore 188 00:16:30,042 --> 00:16:31,283 Hi, Barbie! 189 00:16:36,943 --> 00:16:38,344 Hi, Barbie! 190 00:16:40,574 --> 00:16:41,763 Hi, Barbie! 191 00:17:25,493 --> 00:17:26,993 Ooh, girl you okay? 192 00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:28,480 Hi, Barbie! 193 00:17:29,491 --> 00:17:31,587 I'm fine. A-okay! 194 00:17:32,607 --> 00:17:35,710 - You got it, Barbie! - Let's go, Barbie! 195 00:17:36,042 --> 00:17:37,099 Great cheer, Kens 196 00:17:39,821 --> 00:17:41,773 Come on, Barbie, let's run towards the water 197 00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:42,917 Okay 198 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:55,850 My feet! 199 00:17:58,810 --> 00:17:59,610 Oh no 200 00:18:07,685 --> 00:18:09,635 - Hey, Barbie! - Are you okay? 201 00:18:09,919 --> 00:18:12,362 - Yeah, Barbie, I just fell - Fell? 202 00:18:12,363 --> 00:18:13,157 I'm so embarrassed 203 00:18:13,182 --> 00:18:14,534 Barbie doesn't get embarrassed 204 00:18:14,558 --> 00:18:17,046 I know. Barbie, I... I don't even have context for this 205 00:18:17,066 --> 00:18:19,633 but my feet, my heels 206 00:18:19,753 --> 00:18:20,887 are on the ground 207 00:18:21,007 --> 00:18:24,034 - I'm no longer on tiptoes - That's okay. Let me see 208 00:18:27,699 --> 00:18:30,199 Flatfeet! 209 00:18:39,353 --> 00:18:40,503 Stop it, Ken 210 00:18:40,682 --> 00:18:42,069 I'm sorry, I'm sorry 211 00:18:42,448 --> 00:18:45,059 I know I'm stereotypical Barbie and therefore don't form 212 00:18:45,179 --> 00:18:47,684 conjectures concerning the causality of adjacent unfolding events 213 00:18:47,704 --> 00:18:50,507 but some things are happening that might be related 214 00:18:52,270 --> 00:18:55,813 Bad breath this morning, a cold shower, burnt waffle, and falling off my roof 215 00:18:55,933 --> 00:18:58,780 - You're malfunctioning - What? No! I'm just, I'm... 216 00:18:59,666 --> 00:19:01,753 - Am I? - I've never seen this kind of malfunction before 217 00:19:01,873 --> 00:19:03,550 It's usually just hair related 218 00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:06,603 You know, you're going to have to visit Weird Barbie 219 00:19:06,917 --> 00:19:11,384 - I have never had to visit Weird Barbie - That's because you've never malfunctioned 220 00:19:11,472 --> 00:19:14,546 I heard she that she used to be the most beautiful Barbie of all 221 00:19:14,547 --> 00:19:17,919 but then somebody played with her too hard in The Real World 222 00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:32,071 And now she's fated to an eternity of making other Barbies perfect 223 00:19:32,191 --> 00:19:34,791 while falling more and more into disrepair herself 224 00:19:35,303 --> 00:19:38,800 That and we all call her Weird Barbie both behind her back and also to her face 225 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,420 She's so weird 226 00:19:42,019 --> 00:19:43,869 Why is she always in the splits? 227 00:19:51,855 --> 00:19:55,155 I would never wear heels if my feet were shaped this way 228 00:19:59,126 --> 00:20:00,076 Hello 229 00:20:00,724 --> 00:20:02,724 Woof 230 00:20:02,749 --> 00:20:03,549 Bark 231 00:20:05,393 --> 00:20:07,393 Woof 232 00:20:07,418 --> 00:20:08,368 Bark 233 00:20:09,289 --> 00:20:09,989 Hey 234 00:20:11,414 --> 00:20:12,978 What's cookin' good lookin'? 235 00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:14,620 - Hi - Welcome 236 00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:16,449 Welcome to my Weird House 237 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,695 - Hi, how are ya? - Nice to met you 238 00:20:22,715 --> 00:20:25,030 Sorry for the dog crap. What can I do ya for? 239 00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:27,884 I just had to come see you about my feet 240 00:20:28,336 --> 00:20:29,236 They're um... 241 00:20:36,055 --> 00:20:36,955 Flat! 242 00:20:37,525 --> 00:20:38,325 Yeah 243 00:20:38,596 --> 00:20:40,411 - Never seen that before - Really? 244 00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:43,083 Okay, well can you... 245 00:20:43,203 --> 00:20:44,423 you know, fix them? 246 00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:46,593 - You're stereotypical Barbie, right? - Mmhmm 247 00:20:47,569 --> 00:20:49,031 That Ken of yours 248 00:20:49,151 --> 00:20:53,033 - He is one nice lookin' little protein pot - I guess 249 00:20:53,153 --> 00:20:56,250 I'd like to see what kind of nude blob he's packing under those jeans 250 00:20:57,512 --> 00:20:59,977 - Anyway, what preceeded this? - Oh, nothing 251 00:21:00,364 --> 00:21:02,857 A really fun game of volleyball 252 00:21:03,856 --> 00:21:06,256 - That's it? - Thoughts of death... 253 00:21:06,817 --> 00:21:07,767 What is... 254 00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:11,103 Maybe some 255 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,651 - Thoughts of death? - Thoughts of death?! 256 00:21:14,216 --> 00:21:16,066 - Is that a problem? - Ohhh 257 00:21:16,310 --> 00:21:17,819 - What? - I've heard this 258 00:21:17,939 --> 00:21:19,986 Of course I didn't think it was possible 259 00:21:20,044 --> 00:21:21,444 But it's real 260 00:21:22,969 --> 00:21:25,253 Oh, you've done it. You've opened a portal 261 00:21:25,473 --> 00:21:28,428 - I didn't open a portal - Someone did 262 00:21:28,448 --> 00:21:29,993 And now there is a rift 263 00:21:29,994 --> 00:21:33,893 in the continuum that is the membrane between Barbie Land and the Real World 264 00:21:34,013 --> 00:21:36,374 and if you want to be stereotypical Barbie perfect again 265 00:21:36,398 --> 00:21:38,189 then baby girl, you've gotta go fix it 266 00:21:38,190 --> 00:21:40,799 Or you're going to keep going funny. Look at your upper thigh 267 00:21:42,752 --> 00:21:44,520 - What is that? - That's cellulite 268 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:46,127 - That's going to spread everywhere - What? 269 00:21:46,147 --> 00:21:49,030 And then you're going to start getting sad and mushy and complicated 270 00:21:49,050 --> 00:21:50,050 No! 271 00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:51,796 What do I have to do? 272 00:21:52,250 --> 00:21:54,991 You have to go to the Real World 273 00:21:55,288 --> 00:21:57,830 And you will find the girl who's playing with you 274 00:21:57,850 --> 00:21:59,837 - Playing with me? - We're all getting played with, babe 275 00:21:59,838 --> 00:22:02,260 But usually there's some kind of separation. Thanks 276 00:22:02,380 --> 00:22:04,392 There's the girl and the doll 277 00:22:04,512 --> 00:22:06,355 and never the twains shall cross 278 00:22:06,475 --> 00:22:07,765 - The twain is crossing? - Yes 279 00:22:07,789 --> 00:22:09,032 And the girl who's playing with you 280 00:22:09,052 --> 00:22:12,444 she must be sad and her thoughts and feelings and humanness 281 00:22:12,564 --> 00:22:14,559 are interferring with your dollness 282 00:22:14,779 --> 00:22:16,279 Why would she be sad? 283 00:22:16,299 --> 00:22:20,568 We fixed everything so that all women in the real world can be happy and powerful 284 00:22:20,588 --> 00:22:23,407 I don't know, but if you ask me you had something to do with this too 285 00:22:23,427 --> 00:22:24,921 - Me? - It takes two rift a portal 286 00:22:25,041 --> 00:22:29,193 I can't have. I've only every wanted for everything to stay exactly as it is 287 00:22:29,313 --> 00:22:33,693 Well be that as it may, the two of you are becoming inextricably intertwined 288 00:22:34,107 --> 00:22:36,657 And you gotta help her to help yourself 289 00:22:42,188 --> 00:22:42,881 So should... 290 00:22:43,601 --> 00:22:45,110 So what'll it be then? 291 00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:48,078 You can go back to your regular life and forget any of this ever happened 292 00:22:48,198 --> 00:22:50,841 Or you can know the truth about the universe 293 00:22:52,285 --> 00:22:54,522 The choice is now yours 294 00:22:55,518 --> 00:22:57,068 The first one. The high heel 295 00:22:57,337 --> 00:22:58,137 No. 296 00:22:58,457 --> 00:22:59,457 We'll do a redo 297 00:23:00,214 --> 00:23:01,851 You're supposed to want to know 298 00:23:01,875 --> 00:23:02,713 I don't 299 00:23:02,836 --> 00:23:06,125 Babe? Listen? You have to want to know, okay? Do it again 300 00:23:06,145 --> 00:23:08,472 I'm not Adventure Barbie, I'm Stereotypical Barbie 301 00:23:08,492 --> 00:23:11,710 I'm like the Barbie you think of when someone says, "Think of a Barbie" 302 00:23:12,255 --> 00:23:13,132 That's me 303 00:23:14,180 --> 00:23:15,903 I'm bummed. You're a bummer 304 00:23:16,214 --> 00:23:17,793 - That's a bummer - Okay 305 00:23:17,913 --> 00:23:21,390 - I'm ready to forget now - No, you're do-ing-this-one 306 00:23:21,510 --> 00:23:24,565 I just gave you choice so you could feel some sense of control 307 00:23:24,585 --> 00:23:26,214 So there is no option 1? 308 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,467 No, you have to fix the rift yourself 309 00:23:29,687 --> 00:23:32,054 Don't blame me, blame Mattel. They make the rules 310 00:23:32,274 --> 00:23:35,333 - I don't want too! - Fine, get cellulite. I don't care 311 00:23:35,353 --> 00:23:37,375 No, no no no, no. Okay 312 00:23:40,513 --> 00:23:42,063 Send me through the portal 313 00:23:43,311 --> 00:23:45,947 Okay, there's actually no portal. It's a figure of speech 314 00:23:46,067 --> 00:23:48,984 It's actually a sports car to a speedboat... 315 00:23:49,104 --> 00:23:51,444 to a rocketship to a tandem bike... 316 00:23:51,564 --> 00:23:53,754 to a camper van finally to a snowmobile 317 00:23:54,192 --> 00:23:57,020 Which will take you most of the way to the state of Los Angeles 318 00:23:57,140 --> 00:23:59,277 where you will don neon and rollerblades 319 00:23:59,301 --> 00:24:01,437 and then through the country of California 320 00:24:01,917 --> 00:24:04,186 Weird, I know. Best if you don't think about it too much 321 00:24:04,206 --> 00:24:07,029 And then when I get there, how do I find this girl? 322 00:24:07,671 --> 00:24:08,939 You will know 323 00:24:09,595 --> 00:24:10,595 Okay 324 00:24:11,058 --> 00:24:13,918 - And how do I get back? - The same way you came, but in reverse 325 00:24:13,938 --> 00:24:16,659 Like I should move forward, but through the order backward... 326 00:24:16,779 --> 00:24:18,652 - Don't overthink it - Oh, okay 327 00:24:18,672 --> 00:24:20,022 For you see... 328 00:24:20,371 --> 00:24:22,936 If you don't find her and fix things, 329 00:24:23,056 --> 00:24:26,766 what's ugly will become uglier, and what's weird will become weirder 330 00:24:27,030 --> 00:24:28,730 And then you'll look like me 331 00:24:31,143 --> 00:24:32,143 Sorry. 332 00:24:32,742 --> 00:24:33,842 I understand. 333 00:24:33,962 --> 00:24:36,570 I set myself up for that. Anyway, I believe in you 334 00:24:36,690 --> 00:24:38,991 - Thank you - Go. Be careful 335 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:40,200 I love you 336 00:24:40,434 --> 00:24:42,238 - Bye - Bye 337 00:24:42,358 --> 00:24:44,370 Bon voyage to reality 338 00:24:44,390 --> 00:24:47,257 and good luck restoring the membrane 339 00:24:47,377 --> 00:24:50,076 that separates our world from theirs 340 00:24:50,196 --> 00:24:52,367 so you don't get cellulite! 341 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,569 - I guess she's going without you - You're so lost, Ken 342 00:24:57,609 --> 00:24:59,359 She literally asked me 343 00:24:59,382 --> 00:25:02,144 - And I was like, "I prefer to stay here" - Why? 344 00:25:02,264 --> 00:25:04,014 - Are you scared? - No. 345 00:25:04,090 --> 00:25:07,140 I bet you're scared and I bet she doesn't even want you to go 346 00:25:07,853 --> 00:25:11,253 Well you bet both those things incorrectly, and I bet in the opposite direction 347 00:25:11,552 --> 00:25:12,609 - Yeah? - Yeah 348 00:25:12,729 --> 00:25:13,979 Which way is that? 349 00:25:14,677 --> 00:25:15,913 You don't even know 350 00:25:16,033 --> 00:25:19,299 I just don't want to leave. I'm trying to find reasons not to leave 351 00:25:19,334 --> 00:25:21,549 - Please stay - I'm going to miss you guys so much 352 00:25:21,769 --> 00:25:23,389 I just wish someone could come with me 353 00:25:23,413 --> 00:25:25,032 But you can't. I should do this alone. 354 00:25:25,052 --> 00:25:26,274 What bird am I thinking of? 355 00:25:26,394 --> 00:25:28,594 -Parrot -Dolphin. I mean, no, a bird 356 00:25:29,406 --> 00:25:30,356 Pelican 357 00:25:31,143 --> 00:25:31,943 Man 358 00:25:32,163 --> 00:25:33,115 We'll miss you, Barbie 359 00:25:33,139 --> 00:25:34,892 I'll be back in no time with perfect feet 360 00:25:34,912 --> 00:25:36,654 and we'll forget that this ever happened 361 00:25:36,674 --> 00:25:39,148 And you'll get to see all the good work we've done to fix the world 362 00:25:39,168 --> 00:25:41,022 You'll be such a hero to them 363 00:25:41,042 --> 00:25:45,409 All those grateful powerful women who owe their wonderful lives to Barbie 364 00:25:45,468 --> 00:25:48,878 I'll bet every woman will say thank you and give you a really big hug 365 00:25:49,188 --> 00:25:50,748 Yes, you're right! 366 00:25:51,146 --> 00:25:52,246 Here I go! 367 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:53,520 Bye! 368 00:25:54,168 --> 00:25:56,283 - Bye, Barbie. - Bye! 369 00:25:58,007 --> 00:26:00,591 Bye, Barbie. Good luck in reality 370 00:26:00,711 --> 00:26:02,411 Watch out for cellulite! 371 00:26:02,807 --> 00:26:06,907 I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains 372 00:26:07,242 --> 00:26:11,927 I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains 373 00:26:12,168 --> 00:26:15,970 There's more than one answer to these questions 374 00:26:16,357 --> 00:26:18,736 Pointing me in a crooked line 375 00:26:19,510 --> 00:26:23,396 And the less I seek my source for some definitive 376 00:26:23,684 --> 00:26:27,618 Closer I am to fine 377 00:26:28,451 --> 00:26:30,300 - Closer I am to fi... - Closer I am to fi... 378 00:26:38,563 --> 00:26:40,728 - What are you doing here? - I'm coming with ya 379 00:26:40,748 --> 00:26:42,972 - No, please get out - I can't 380 00:26:43,092 --> 00:26:45,330 I made a double bet with Ken, and... 381 00:26:45,450 --> 00:26:47,479 you can't make me look uncool in front of Ken 382 00:26:47,799 --> 00:26:50,167 - Ken's not cool! - He is to me 383 00:26:50,187 --> 00:26:52,184 You're just going to slow me down 384 00:26:52,408 --> 00:26:54,105 What if there's beach? 385 00:26:54,133 --> 00:26:56,083 You'll need someone who's a professional in that 386 00:26:58,351 --> 00:26:59,951 Did you bring your rollerblades? 387 00:27:00,656 --> 00:27:02,506 I literally go nowhere without them 388 00:27:04,006 --> 00:27:05,106 Please? 389 00:27:05,557 --> 00:27:06,457 Okay 390 00:27:07,533 --> 00:27:08,857 Let's do this 391 00:27:09,441 --> 00:27:10,669 - Can I sit in the front? - No 392 00:27:10,789 --> 00:27:12,504 REAL WORLD this way 393 00:27:12,524 --> 00:27:15,806 And so Barbie and Ken set off on their adventure 394 00:27:15,926 --> 00:27:17,676 to the Real World 395 00:27:41,199 --> 00:27:41,999 Hi 396 00:27:50,452 --> 00:27:51,352 Barbie! 397 00:28:03,067 --> 00:28:04,568 This is the Real World! 398 00:28:04,688 --> 00:28:07,094 Barbie, I told you there would be beach 399 00:28:07,214 --> 00:28:08,014 Yeah 400 00:28:20,512 --> 00:28:23,012 - What's going on? - Give us a smile, blondie 401 00:28:24,754 --> 00:28:27,556 - Why are these men looking at me? - Yeah, they're also staring at me 402 00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:30,674 - Ooh, love that - Wow 403 00:28:30,752 --> 00:28:33,604 I feel kind of ill at ease, like 404 00:28:33,782 --> 00:28:36,052 I don't know the word for it, but I'm... 405 00:28:36,352 --> 00:28:38,002 conscious, but it's... 406 00:28:38,122 --> 00:28:40,145 myself that I'm conscious of 407 00:28:40,265 --> 00:28:44,114 I'm not getting any of that. I feel what can only be described as "admire" 408 00:28:44,975 --> 00:28:46,218 But not ogle 409 00:28:47,091 --> 00:28:48,860 And there's no undertone of violence 410 00:28:48,884 --> 00:28:51,314 Mine very much has an undertone of violence 411 00:28:51,782 --> 00:28:53,334 Oh look, a construction site 412 00:28:53,704 --> 00:28:55,775 We need that good feminine energy 413 00:28:56,417 --> 00:28:57,867 Ladies, yoohoo! 414 00:28:58,537 --> 00:28:59,677 Oh, you got fries with that shake? 415 00:28:59,701 --> 00:29:01,887 If I said you had a hot body would you hold it against me? 416 00:29:01,907 --> 00:29:04,459 - You don't have a mirror in your pocket? - Baby, you are an angel! 417 00:29:04,460 --> 00:29:05,554 - I can see myself in your shorts 418 00:29:05,779 --> 00:29:08,718 I don't know exactly what you meant with all of those little quips 419 00:29:08,738 --> 00:29:12,333 But I'm picking up on some sort of entendre which appears to be double 420 00:29:12,411 --> 00:29:16,434 and I would just like to inform you: I do not have a vagina 421 00:29:17,574 --> 00:29:19,274 And he does not have a penis 422 00:29:19,574 --> 00:29:21,872 - We don't have genitals - That's okay 423 00:29:24,621 --> 00:29:26,285 I have all... all the genitals 424 00:29:27,111 --> 00:29:29,252 Geez, you would think a construction site at lunchtime 425 00:29:29,276 --> 00:29:31,617 would be the perfect place for a little woman power 426 00:29:31,737 --> 00:29:33,375 This one was so... 427 00:29:33,887 --> 00:29:34,887 male 428 00:29:35,692 --> 00:29:37,201 Everything's almost like... 429 00:29:38,119 --> 00:29:39,619 reversed here 430 00:29:42,389 --> 00:29:43,190 Oh look! 431 00:29:43,391 --> 00:29:46,141 - The Supreme Court - They're so smart 432 00:29:53,462 --> 00:29:57,117 - I love me a leotard - I love the elbow pads 433 00:29:57,173 --> 00:29:59,023 I... I think we should get some different clothes 434 00:30:01,351 --> 00:30:02,601 We look great 435 00:30:02,870 --> 00:30:04,696 - I love fringe - I love denim 436 00:30:06,275 --> 00:30:07,275 Hey, man! 437 00:30:07,976 --> 00:30:09,626 You guys gotta pay for that stuff 438 00:30:12,763 --> 00:30:15,751 - She looks even better in more clothes - Because you can imagine more 439 00:30:15,771 --> 00:30:17,505 Do you know what? Keep 'em. 440 00:30:18,551 --> 00:30:23,133 Weird Barbie said I would know how to find this girl, but I have no idea 441 00:30:23,937 --> 00:30:25,464 What would a Smart Barbie do? 442 00:30:25,488 --> 00:30:27,912 I just need to clear my mind so I can think 443 00:30:28,261 --> 00:30:30,387 Who is playing with me? 444 00:30:30,528 --> 00:30:32,421 I hate it when people think. It gets so boring 445 00:30:32,541 --> 00:30:34,843 The faster I figure it out, the faster we get to go home 446 00:30:34,963 --> 00:30:38,060 - What am I supposed to do? - Ken! Go for a walk or something 447 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:38,635 By myself? 448 00:30:38,636 --> 00:30:40,070 - Yes - Really? Where? 449 00:30:40,095 --> 00:30:41,108 Anywhere! 450 00:30:41,128 --> 00:30:43,313 - Can I go that way? - Yes. Okay 451 00:30:48,868 --> 00:30:50,718 - Don't go far. - Okay! 452 00:30:55,246 --> 00:30:56,543 Excuse me, sir 453 00:30:57,261 --> 00:30:58,581 Thanks, man 454 00:31:09,109 --> 00:31:10,309 What's up, man? 455 00:31:10,514 --> 00:31:12,459 - We gotta man up on this one - Great workout, man 456 00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:14,111 Men, men, men! 457 00:31:14,231 --> 00:31:16,363 - You're the man! - No, you're the man 458 00:31:16,483 --> 00:31:18,562 Men, men, men! 459 00:31:28,476 --> 00:31:30,822 Based on earnings, we exceeded expectations 460 00:31:31,743 --> 00:31:32,735 So I'm not worried about it 461 00:31:32,755 --> 00:31:34,511 Not now, Margaret. Let's shake on this 462 00:31:34,631 --> 00:31:36,770 We're officially important 463 00:31:59,804 --> 00:32:00,804 Yes! 464 00:33:08,690 --> 00:33:09,790 That felt... 465 00:33:10,998 --> 00:33:11,998 achy... 466 00:33:12,523 --> 00:33:13,573 but good 467 00:34:08,023 --> 00:34:09,423 You're so beautiful 468 00:34:11,126 --> 00:34:12,126 I know it 469 00:34:19,428 --> 00:34:20,328 Barbie! 470 00:34:20,448 --> 00:34:21,348 Barbie! 471 00:34:21,672 --> 00:34:22,472 Yes! 472 00:34:22,908 --> 00:34:24,237 - I've got it! - I've got it! 473 00:34:24,357 --> 00:34:26,045 - What do you got? - You go first 474 00:34:26,165 --> 00:34:27,816 - We'll go at the same time - Okay 475 00:34:27,976 --> 00:34:29,866 - She's at school! - Men rule the world! 476 00:34:30,204 --> 00:34:31,932 - What was that? - The kid's at the school? 477 00:34:31,952 --> 00:34:32,719 But what did you say? 478 00:34:32,739 --> 00:34:34,039 - Nothing - Okay 479 00:34:34,215 --> 00:34:36,080 - Well, let's go to the school! - Okay! 480 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,000 Now come on 481 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,966 MATTEL HEADQUARTERS LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 482 00:34:55,268 --> 00:34:57,220 - Hello - This is Dan with the FBI 483 00:34:57,340 --> 00:34:58,844 This is Aaron at Mattel... 484 00:34:58,868 --> 00:35:00,485 I don't give a flying squirrel who you are, Aaron 485 00:35:00,505 --> 00:35:02,380 - What are you? Like an intern? - No... 486 00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:05,638 - Two of your dolls have gotten loose - Impossible. How do you know... 487 00:35:05,758 --> 00:35:08,959 Don't sass me, Aaron. Couple of blondes, answering to Barbie nd Ken 488 00:35:09,079 --> 00:35:10,560 Rollerblading in Santa Monica 489 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,680 We're going to need Mattel's help landing the eagle 490 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,050 -Don't crap the bed, Aaron - I won't 491 00:35:17,762 --> 00:35:19,612 This is bad. This is really bad 492 00:35:19,832 --> 00:35:21,682 - What? - Th...th... this happened before 493 00:35:22,013 --> 00:35:22,945 What? When? 494 00:35:23,065 --> 00:35:25,505 I heard about 10 years ago, a woman named, Skipper 495 00:35:25,525 --> 00:35:29,332 turned up at some family's home in Key West, asked to babysit the kids 496 00:35:29,352 --> 00:35:31,060 She then tried to take their toddler surfing 497 00:35:31,061 --> 00:35:31,755 - Jeez - I know 498 00:35:31,780 --> 00:35:35,301 They where able to straighten it out, keep it under wraps, but this is... 499 00:35:35,302 --> 00:35:36,709 serious 500 00:35:36,734 --> 00:35:38,721 - I'm going all the way up - No one goes all the way up 501 00:35:38,841 --> 00:35:40,660 - I have to - You may never come back 502 00:35:42,368 --> 00:35:43,268 I know 503 00:35:59,424 --> 00:36:00,852 - Hey - Oh hi, Aaron 504 00:36:00,972 --> 00:36:02,798 - New drawings? - Yeah 505 00:36:02,818 --> 00:36:05,447 I just started drawing these weird designs 506 00:36:05,467 --> 00:36:09,031 - These are different - It's Irrepressible Thoughts of Death Barbie. 507 00:36:09,762 --> 00:36:11,512 Full Body Cellulite Barbie 508 00:36:11,895 --> 00:36:13,495 Crippling Shame Barbie 509 00:36:13,913 --> 00:36:16,872 Okay, listen, I have to speak to the top brass 510 00:36:16,992 --> 00:36:18,399 - No - I must 511 00:36:18,519 --> 00:36:19,372 - No. - I'm going to 512 00:36:19,492 --> 00:36:22,619 Aron, they're in a big corporate idea sesh, no one is to be admitted 513 00:36:22,739 --> 00:36:25,559 ... we empowering girls. Always! 514 00:36:25,866 --> 00:36:27,485 But what do we really sell? 515 00:36:27,605 --> 00:36:30,846 I'll tell you what. We sell dreams. And imagination 516 00:36:32,344 --> 00:36:33,439 And sparkle 517 00:36:34,315 --> 00:36:35,692 I get excited, I'm passionate. 518 00:36:35,812 --> 00:36:38,816 And when you think of sparkle, what do you think of after that? 519 00:36:38,936 --> 00:36:40,536 Female agency 520 00:36:41,290 --> 00:36:42,490 Excuse me 521 00:36:43,234 --> 00:36:45,152 - Who are you? - Aaron Dinkins, sir 522 00:36:45,272 --> 00:36:47,665 We're in the middle of a major sit down here, Aaron Dinkins 523 00:36:47,785 --> 00:36:49,476 I think you're going to want to hear this, sir 524 00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:52,290 Can you just email it? And you can send it to me E.O.D. 525 00:36:52,294 --> 00:36:53,594 End Of Day 526 00:36:55,368 --> 00:36:58,229 May I put it in a whisper, sir? 527 00:36:58,687 --> 00:37:00,237 Fine, whisper me 528 00:37:22,890 --> 00:37:23,690 No. 529 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:27,830 Pointed the chair. 530 00:37:27,957 --> 00:37:28,757 You're okay 531 00:37:30,334 --> 00:37:32,411 - You alright? - He's okay 532 00:37:36,703 --> 00:37:38,453 It's a repeat of Skipper in Key West 533 00:37:38,573 --> 00:37:40,173 And with all due respect... 534 00:37:40,655 --> 00:37:43,443 That was Skipper, sir. This is... 535 00:37:44,304 --> 00:37:45,304 Barbie. 536 00:37:47,645 --> 00:37:51,355 If this got out that our dolls were coming to Los Angeles from Barbie Land 537 00:37:51,475 --> 00:37:54,125 As life sized versions of themselves 538 00:37:54,988 --> 00:37:56,488 Roaming the earth 539 00:37:57,949 --> 00:37:59,649 This would be very bad 540 00:38:00,371 --> 00:38:02,462 Barbie in the real world? 541 00:38:03,647 --> 00:38:04,627 That's impossible 542 00:38:04,747 --> 00:38:07,392 We've got a definite situation on our hands 543 00:38:07,464 --> 00:38:09,033 Catastrophic! 544 00:38:09,645 --> 00:38:11,647 - I can't stress that enough! - What? 545 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,345 - What's your name again? - Aaron Dinkins, sir 546 00:38:14,465 --> 00:38:15,944 - Aaron Dickinson? - Dinkins 547 00:38:15,964 --> 00:38:16,764 Yes, Aaron 548 00:38:16,784 --> 00:38:20,202 Is Barbie Land like an alternate reality or is it like a place where 549 00:38:20,322 --> 00:38:22,684 - Uh, your imagination -Yes. 550 00:38:23,076 --> 00:38:25,261 - Okay. - Think of it as town in Sweden. 551 00:38:25,581 --> 00:38:26,881 Aaron Dinkins 552 00:38:27,232 --> 00:38:28,232 Sweden 553 00:38:28,474 --> 00:38:29,474 Right 554 00:38:31,721 --> 00:38:33,005 How much do you weigh? 555 00:38:33,125 --> 00:38:34,475 Doesn't matter 556 00:38:35,164 --> 00:38:36,615 Sounds like a job for the box 557 00:38:36,878 --> 00:38:41,220 No one rests until this doll is back in a box 558 00:38:42,619 --> 00:38:45,558 Look, Davy Crockett Junior High School, just like a saw in my vision 559 00:38:45,582 --> 00:38:46,754 A man on a horse 560 00:38:46,782 --> 00:38:48,758 I've started to get all these weirdo feelings 561 00:38:48,878 --> 00:38:51,537 Like I have fear with no specific object 562 00:38:51,735 --> 00:38:53,374 - What is that? - Anxiety 563 00:38:53,652 --> 00:38:55,989 I have it too. They're just awful at this age 564 00:38:56,109 --> 00:38:57,861 I feel amazing. 565 00:38:57,885 --> 00:38:59,965 That's because kids don't take it out on their dads 566 00:39:00,130 --> 00:39:03,422 She's gotta be here somewhere. We need to find her soon 567 00:39:03,542 --> 00:39:06,877 I'm just going to pop into the library and see if I can find any books on trucks 568 00:39:06,897 --> 00:39:09,474 - Okay, just don't get in trouble - I won't! 569 00:39:24,112 --> 00:39:25,012 What are you doing? 570 00:39:25,013 --> 00:39:26,754 Oh! Uhh 571 00:39:26,779 --> 00:39:28,229 What's that girl's name? 572 00:39:28,504 --> 00:39:29,504 That's Sasha 573 00:39:29,829 --> 00:39:30,704 Hey, Sasha! 574 00:39:30,728 --> 00:39:31,737 - Don't talk to her! - Oh 575 00:39:31,757 --> 00:39:34,887 Sasha can talk to you but you never talk to Sasha 576 00:39:34,907 --> 00:39:36,951 - She'll crush you - Don't worry 577 00:39:37,071 --> 00:39:39,665 Everyone really likes me and thinks I'm cool and pretty 578 00:39:40,453 --> 00:39:42,703 - Huh - Thank you 579 00:39:45,345 --> 00:39:47,792 Hey, ladies. Sasha 580 00:39:47,912 --> 00:39:48,973 What's up? 581 00:39:51,950 --> 00:39:53,200 Who are you? 582 00:39:55,462 --> 00:39:58,378 I'm only your favorite woman of all time 583 00:39:58,966 --> 00:40:00,112 Barbie! 584 00:40:02,054 --> 00:40:04,482 You really think you're Barbie? 585 00:40:04,706 --> 00:40:05,841 - Yeah - She's crazy 586 00:40:05,860 --> 00:40:07,262 Do you think she escaped from like an insane asylum? 587 00:40:07,282 --> 00:40:09,887 - So you're like Barbie Barbie - Like a professional bimbo? 588 00:40:09,907 --> 00:40:14,238 No, Barbie's not a bimbo. Barbie is a doctor and a lawyer and a senator and a... 589 00:40:14,286 --> 00:40:17,068 - ... Nobel prize winner. - You're a Nobel prize winner? 590 00:40:17,088 --> 00:40:18,682 Oh, no, not me, but... 591 00:40:19,347 --> 00:40:21,537 Barbie is ... yeah 592 00:40:21,850 --> 00:40:25,086 Aren't you guys going to thank me and give me a big hug? 593 00:40:27,467 --> 00:40:29,254 For being your favorite toy 594 00:40:29,474 --> 00:40:32,658 We haven't played with Barbie's since we were like five years old 595 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,322 Yeah, I hated dolls with hair 596 00:40:34,346 --> 00:40:36,929 I mean, I played with Barbie, but it was like the last resort 597 00:40:36,982 --> 00:40:38,282 I loved Barbie 598 00:40:39,987 --> 00:40:42,149 Anyways, even then it was horrible for us 599 00:40:42,419 --> 00:40:43,619 It was horrible? 600 00:40:45,006 --> 00:40:46,006 Why? 601 00:40:46,255 --> 00:40:47,646 - Come on, Sasha - Give it to her 602 00:40:47,647 --> 00:40:49,029 Destroy Barbie 603 00:40:50,054 --> 00:40:51,454 Okay, Barbie 604 00:40:52,042 --> 00:40:53,042 Let's do this 605 00:40:53,882 --> 00:40:57,218 You've been making women feel bad about themselves since you were invented 606 00:40:57,238 --> 00:40:58,991 I think you have that the wrong way around 607 00:40:59,015 --> 00:41:01,241 You represent everything wrong with our culture 608 00:41:01,614 --> 00:41:04,667 Sexualized capitalism, unrealistic physical ideals 609 00:41:04,787 --> 00:41:08,070 No, no, no... You're describing something stereotypical. 610 00:41:08,190 --> 00:41:09,514 Barbie is... 611 00:41:09,634 --> 00:41:12,430 - So much more than that - Look at yourself 612 00:41:14,619 --> 00:41:16,437 I am technically Stereotypical Barbie 613 00:41:16,461 --> 00:41:18,940 You set the feminism movement back 50 years 614 00:41:19,112 --> 00:41:20,820 You destroy girls' innate sense of worth 615 00:41:20,940 --> 00:41:24,501 and you are killing the planet with your glorification of rampant consumerism 616 00:41:24,597 --> 00:41:28,970 No, I'm supposed to help you and make you happy and powerful 617 00:41:28,990 --> 00:41:32,811 Oh, I am powerful. And until you showed up here and declared yourself Barbie 618 00:41:32,931 --> 00:41:35,370 I hadn't thought about you in years, you fascist 619 00:41:39,795 --> 00:41:41,795 Oh. Um 620 00:41:42,220 --> 00:41:43,220 Okay 621 00:41:43,624 --> 00:41:45,105 It's happening again 622 00:41:45,433 --> 00:41:47,822 I have to... will you excuse me? 623 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,404 It was really nice talking to you 624 00:41:57,757 --> 00:41:59,307 They never listen 625 00:42:13,034 --> 00:42:14,784 Excuse me, sir, do you have time? 626 00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,708 - You respect me - Sorry, no, do you know what time it is? 627 00:42:19,884 --> 00:42:21,084 No, I do not 628 00:42:23,066 --> 00:42:25,238 - Okay - Why didn't Barbie tell me about patriarchy? 629 00:42:25,758 --> 00:42:29,408 Which, to my understanding, is where men in horses run everything? 630 00:42:29,849 --> 00:42:30,849 Sure 631 00:42:31,245 --> 00:42:33,680 - I shall seek my fortune then - Alright 632 00:42:36,146 --> 00:42:38,629 I'll take a high level, high paying job with influence, please 633 00:42:38,749 --> 00:42:41,542 Okay, you'll need at least an MBA. And a lot of our people have PhDs 634 00:42:41,662 --> 00:42:44,556 - Isn't being a man enough? - Actually right now it's kind of the opposite. 635 00:42:44,676 --> 00:42:48,628 You guys are clearly not doing patriarchy very well 636 00:42:48,648 --> 00:42:50,607 No, we're uh... 637 00:42:50,922 --> 00:42:54,579 We're doing it well, yeah. We just, uh, hide it better, you know. 638 00:42:54,580 --> 00:42:56,044 Oh 639 00:42:56,369 --> 00:43:00,025 No, I won't let you do just one appendectomy 640 00:43:00,045 --> 00:43:01,415 - But I'm a man - But not a doctor 641 00:43:01,435 --> 00:43:02,456 - Please? - No 642 00:43:02,576 --> 00:43:04,586 - Can I talk to a doctor? - You are talking to a doctor 643 00:43:04,606 --> 00:43:05,846 - Can you get me a coffee - No 644 00:43:05,966 --> 00:43:07,100 - And I need a clicky pen - No 645 00:43:07,220 --> 00:43:08,860 - And a white coat. And a sharp thing - No. No 646 00:43:08,980 --> 00:43:11,314 - There he is. Doctor! - Somebody get security 647 00:43:11,434 --> 00:43:15,057 - I'd like to apply for your job of beach? - So you wanna be a lifeguard? 648 00:43:16,028 --> 00:43:19,744 Oh, I'm not trained to go over there. I'm trained to stand confidently right here. 649 00:43:19,864 --> 00:43:23,798 - There's nobody in danger here. - And even if there were, I'm not trained to save them 650 00:43:24,313 --> 00:43:27,484 - Then I can't hire you - I can't even beach here! 651 00:43:31,285 --> 00:43:33,727 She thinks I'm a fascist? 652 00:43:33,806 --> 00:43:35,750 I don't control the railways 653 00:43:35,870 --> 00:43:37,823 or the flow of commerce 654 00:43:40,532 --> 00:43:41,630 - There you are - Oh no... 655 00:43:41,750 --> 00:43:42,912 That went terrible 656 00:43:43,032 --> 00:43:46,983 I need to find somewhere where I can start patriarchy fresh 657 00:43:50,735 --> 00:43:53,143 - Miss Barbie? - It's just "Barbie". 658 00:43:53,263 --> 00:43:54,874 We're going to need you to come with us 659 00:43:55,021 --> 00:43:56,521 Oh 660 00:43:57,046 --> 00:43:58,617 - Who are you? - We're Mattel 661 00:43:58,737 --> 00:44:00,711 - Mattel? - Mattel 662 00:44:00,766 --> 00:44:04,212 Thank goodness. I've got to talk to somebody in charge 663 00:44:04,332 --> 00:44:07,688 Everything is backwards here. Men look at me like I'm an object 664 00:44:07,808 --> 00:44:10,187 Girls hate me, everyone thinks I'm crazy 665 00:44:10,211 --> 00:44:11,670 and I keep getting arrested! 666 00:44:11,790 --> 00:44:14,264 - Would you step this way, ma'am? - I also just learned to cry 667 00:44:14,471 --> 00:44:16,732 First it I got one tear and then I got a whole bunch 668 00:44:16,852 --> 00:44:20,729 What to do? Do I follow Barbie into that scary unmarked black truck car? 669 00:44:21,246 --> 00:44:23,696 A truck car I'd like to have, actually 670 00:44:24,174 --> 00:44:25,161 You're right 671 00:44:25,281 --> 00:44:27,160 She's fine. It's Mattel 672 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:28,497 - Yeah - I know 673 00:44:28,617 --> 00:44:31,164 I'll go back to Barbie Land and I'll tell the Kens what I've learned 674 00:44:31,284 --> 00:44:32,834 Oh! It's going to be beautiful 675 00:44:33,831 --> 00:44:36,246 - Okay. Let's go that way - Back to Barbie Land. 676 00:44:37,494 --> 00:44:39,355 - Hi, bunny boo boo - Don't call me that 677 00:44:39,475 --> 00:44:40,369 Sorry 678 00:44:40,489 --> 00:44:42,463 I'm off early because of a crisis at work, 679 00:44:42,487 --> 00:44:44,928 but I thought we could go get some soft serve 680 00:44:45,248 --> 00:44:47,459 Thank god they arrested that nutjob 681 00:44:48,987 --> 00:44:52,498 That reality challenged woman. She thinks she's Barbie 682 00:44:52,618 --> 00:44:55,264 - Wait, what did you say? - She thinks she's Barbie 683 00:44:55,384 --> 00:44:56,734 She's like really convinced 684 00:44:58,208 --> 00:45:00,002 What are you doing? What are you doing? 685 00:45:00,357 --> 00:45:01,834 Mom. Mom! 686 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:04,180 Mom, get back in the car! 687 00:45:06,695 --> 00:45:07,795 Are you kidding me? 688 00:45:09,881 --> 00:45:10,681 Mom! 689 00:45:12,968 --> 00:45:16,478 Mattel! Of course it was you guys that brought me here 690 00:45:16,599 --> 00:45:18,521 Because it definitely wasn't that Sasha girl 691 00:45:19,979 --> 00:45:21,994 Thanks for the ride. This has been so much fun 692 00:45:22,922 --> 00:45:25,622 Wow! The mother ship! 693 00:45:29,852 --> 00:45:32,095 Barbie! So happy to see you! 694 00:45:32,215 --> 00:45:34,363 - Hi! - Would you like some mineral water? 695 00:45:34,577 --> 00:45:35,827 - Yes! Thank you 696 00:45:39,879 --> 00:45:41,829 I'm used to that having anything in it 697 00:45:46,198 --> 00:45:46,996 Thank you 698 00:45:47,020 --> 00:45:50,139 So we've been very anxious to get some quality face time with you 699 00:45:50,159 --> 00:45:53,892 Of course. So what can I do to repair the rift in the space time continuum 700 00:45:53,912 --> 00:45:55,844 and get my feet back and that one cellulite gone 701 00:45:55,864 --> 00:45:58,524 and just generally not turn into Weird Barbie? 702 00:45:58,544 --> 00:46:00,451 We have been discussing that very topic 703 00:46:01,743 --> 00:46:05,278 If you're agreeable to it, we would love it if you could just... 704 00:46:06,137 --> 00:46:08,385 get into that giant box 705 00:46:10,964 --> 00:46:15,373 Get into the box and you'll go back to Barbie Land. And everything will be as it was 706 00:46:15,737 --> 00:46:17,559 You know what? We should probably get Ken first 707 00:46:19,108 --> 00:46:21,578 - Ken - You know, Ken. Barbie and Ken 708 00:46:23,144 --> 00:46:24,683 - Yes, Ken! Yeah - The guy, yeah 709 00:46:27,260 --> 00:46:29,060 Back to Barbie Land! 710 00:46:30,541 --> 00:46:32,183 I'm going to be so... I'm going to be sick 711 00:46:33,068 --> 00:46:35,718 Ken isn't something we're worried about 712 00:46:36,914 --> 00:46:37,914 Ever 713 00:46:38,260 --> 00:46:40,868 - Okay, I'll just um... I'll get in the box then - Alright! 714 00:46:41,113 --> 00:46:41,913 Yes! 715 00:46:43,192 --> 00:46:47,464 Oh, but since I came all this way, could I just meet the woman in charge? 716 00:46:47,483 --> 00:46:49,083 Your CEO? 717 00:46:49,563 --> 00:46:50,705 Oh, that would be me 718 00:46:50,825 --> 00:46:52,423 - Oh, your CFO - Me 719 00:46:52,424 --> 00:46:53,518 - Your COO? - Here 720 00:46:53,643 --> 00:46:55,157 - President of the Barbie Division - Present 721 00:46:55,277 --> 00:46:58,077 I'm a man with no power, does that make me a woman? 722 00:46:58,457 --> 00:47:00,190 Are any women in charge? 723 00:47:00,857 --> 00:47:01,857 Listen... 724 00:47:02,277 --> 00:47:04,366 I know exactly where you're going with this and 725 00:47:04,486 --> 00:47:06,939 I have to say I really resent it! 726 00:47:07,059 --> 00:47:09,805 We are a company literally made of women 727 00:47:09,825 --> 00:47:12,024 We had a woman CEO in the 90s 728 00:47:12,452 --> 00:47:14,272 And there was another one... 729 00:47:15,392 --> 00:47:17,800 at some other time 730 00:47:19,676 --> 00:47:22,063 So that's... that's two right there 731 00:47:22,503 --> 00:47:27,761 Women are the freaking foundation of this very long phallic building 732 00:47:28,252 --> 00:47:30,979 We have gender neutral bathrooms up the wazoo 733 00:47:31,099 --> 00:47:33,467 Every single one of these men love women 734 00:47:33,974 --> 00:47:35,424 I'm a son of a mother 735 00:47:35,904 --> 00:47:37,554 I'm the mother of a son 736 00:47:38,309 --> 00:47:40,787 I'm... I'm the nephew of a woman aunt 737 00:47:42,090 --> 00:47:43,740 Some of my best friends are Jewish 738 00:47:45,551 --> 00:47:47,651 What I'm trying to say is... 739 00:47:47,938 --> 00:47:49,821 Get in the box, you jezebel 740 00:47:51,076 --> 00:47:52,582 What? I can't say "jezebel" now? 741 00:47:52,606 --> 00:47:55,112 I haven't been in a box in ages 742 00:47:55,303 --> 00:47:57,031 You see? It's easy 743 00:47:58,351 --> 00:47:59,351 Oh, okay 744 00:48:00,772 --> 00:48:03,297 Oh my gosh, I remember this smell 745 00:48:04,051 --> 00:48:06,056 I'm having a real Proustian flashback 746 00:48:06,269 --> 00:48:09,469 Remember Proust Barbie? That did not sell very well 747 00:48:17,536 --> 00:48:20,054 Do you know what? Um, before I get in the box 748 00:48:20,174 --> 00:48:22,912 Could I just run to the restroom and make sure my hair is perfect? 749 00:48:23,032 --> 00:48:24,782 - Fine. Can you be speedy about it? - Mmhm 750 00:48:26,590 --> 00:48:28,492 - Down this way? - It's just down the hallway 751 00:48:28,612 --> 00:48:30,312 - Thank you - On the right 752 00:48:34,614 --> 00:48:36,164 Guess she really had to go the bathroom 753 00:48:37,709 --> 00:48:39,159 Get that Barbie! 754 00:48:41,308 --> 00:48:43,512 Don't you dare push that button. Let me do it 755 00:48:48,323 --> 00:48:50,023 I said, get that Barbie! 756 00:48:52,042 --> 00:48:53,042 Where's Barbie? 757 00:48:54,451 --> 00:48:55,452 I'm gaining on you 758 00:48:57,439 --> 00:48:58,458 I'll capture you 759 00:49:04,114 --> 00:49:06,098 Quicker to go over the cube 760 00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:08,309 - It's quicker - Sure 761 00:49:13,809 --> 00:49:15,259 Get that Barbie! 762 00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:16,535 Barbie! 763 00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:17,239 Barbie! 764 00:49:17,964 --> 00:49:18,464 Barbie! 765 00:49:18,589 --> 00:49:19,489 I will get you! 766 00:49:20,497 --> 00:49:20,997 Barbie! 767 00:49:51,122 --> 00:49:53,197 Don't worry, you're safe here 768 00:49:54,675 --> 00:49:56,008 What is this place? 769 00:49:57,262 --> 00:50:00,775 I always find I think best at kitchen tables 770 00:50:04,168 --> 00:50:05,168 Tea? 771 00:50:05,966 --> 00:50:07,666 Uh... yes, please 772 00:50:12,662 --> 00:50:14,431 So a woman does work here 773 00:50:15,020 --> 00:50:18,007 Oh sweety, we do more than work here 774 00:50:47,297 --> 00:50:48,297 What? 775 00:50:49,172 --> 00:50:51,992 - It's because I don't know how to drink tea? - No 776 00:50:52,598 --> 00:50:54,148 You look different 777 00:50:55,331 --> 00:50:59,247 It's not how I normally look. I usually look perfect 778 00:50:59,656 --> 00:51:00,790 Oh, I don't know 779 00:51:01,546 --> 00:51:03,312 I think you're just right 780 00:51:11,410 --> 00:51:14,008 Real World isn't what I thought it was 781 00:51:14,774 --> 00:51:16,024 It never is 782 00:51:16,211 --> 00:51:17,815 And isn't that marvelous? 783 00:51:19,743 --> 00:51:21,387 Who... are you? 784 00:51:22,686 --> 00:51:23,686 Which way did she go? 785 00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:26,885 If you go through that closet 786 00:51:27,005 --> 00:51:29,270 You'll find a stairwell down to the lobby 787 00:51:29,917 --> 00:51:30,917 Okay 788 00:51:33,982 --> 00:51:35,078 Thank you 789 00:51:37,194 --> 00:51:38,194 Ruth 790 00:51:39,310 --> 00:51:41,060 Ruth. Thank you, Ruth 791 00:51:42,277 --> 00:51:43,677 You're welcome, Barbie 792 00:52:00,683 --> 00:52:01,904 Oh, we've got her! There she is! 793 00:52:04,737 --> 00:52:07,264 Keycard! Wait, I don't have my keycard! 794 00:52:09,835 --> 00:52:10,835 Get in! 795 00:52:16,251 --> 00:52:18,187 Now! Get in now! 796 00:52:19,402 --> 00:52:20,402 Come on! 797 00:52:24,786 --> 00:52:25,886 Oh no! 798 00:52:25,911 --> 00:52:27,758 Now we're never going to get Barbie 799 00:52:27,778 --> 00:52:28,968 Oh, we didn't need it 800 00:52:29,088 --> 00:52:30,088 Barbie! 801 00:52:30,937 --> 00:52:32,537 Let's form a plan here 802 00:52:33,324 --> 00:52:36,209 I would normally have shotgun. I'll get the first one 803 00:52:36,919 --> 00:52:37,969 Hang on! 804 00:52:40,899 --> 00:52:44,026 God, I hope nobody from school saw us put a life-sized Barbie in our car 805 00:52:44,146 --> 00:52:45,579 - How did this even happen? - I don't know 806 00:52:45,699 --> 00:52:47,648 How are you here? You're like an idea 807 00:52:47,768 --> 00:52:48,856 A great idea 808 00:52:48,976 --> 00:52:51,582 So, I've been a little lonely lately 809 00:52:51,702 --> 00:52:54,402 - And I found those Barbies we used to play with - I thought we gave those away 810 00:52:54,421 --> 00:52:57,783 So I started playing with them and making drawings like we used to do, remember? 811 00:52:57,903 --> 00:52:59,858 - Because I thought it would be joyful - Was it? 812 00:52:59,978 --> 00:53:04,412 No, it wasn't. I got sad and weird, and then the drawings got sad and weird 813 00:53:04,532 --> 00:53:08,740 and maybe because I couldn't be like you, I ended up making you like me 814 00:53:09,813 --> 00:53:13,549 Did any of these drawings by chance have thoughts of death and cellulite? 815 00:53:14,301 --> 00:53:15,105 Yes! 816 00:53:15,225 --> 00:53:17,054 Irrepressible Thoughts of Death Barbie! 817 00:53:17,274 --> 00:53:19,809 -Oh my god! -And cellulite 818 00:53:23,156 --> 00:53:25,406 - I came for you - You came for me 819 00:53:25,899 --> 00:53:27,849 Those were your memories 820 00:53:56,732 --> 00:53:58,197 Hello? Hello? 821 00:53:58,508 --> 00:54:00,065 Are you two, like, Shining? 822 00:54:00,385 --> 00:54:01,965 No, no, it's nothing like that 823 00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:03,386 Are you Shining with a real Barbie? 824 00:54:03,406 --> 00:54:04,444 No! 825 00:54:04,993 --> 00:54:07,245 I mean, maybe, like a little... yes 826 00:54:07,365 --> 00:54:10,358 I don't even know where to start with this wishing your Barbie to life crap 827 00:54:10,478 --> 00:54:11,528 Oh Sasha, listen 828 00:54:11,648 --> 00:54:15,288 I'm just a boring mom with a boring job and a daughter who hates me 829 00:54:15,308 --> 00:54:17,453 Can you blame me for wanting to have a little fun? 830 00:54:18,705 --> 00:54:20,204 I gotta lose these chuckleheads 831 00:54:22,705 --> 00:54:23,705 Mom! 832 00:54:26,146 --> 00:54:27,472 I think I owe you ladies an apology 833 00:54:27,592 --> 00:54:30,404 I thought that Barbie had made the Real World better 834 00:54:30,524 --> 00:54:33,460 But the Real World is forever and irrevocably messed up 835 00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,360 Well, the Real World is not perfect, but you inspired me 836 00:54:38,543 --> 00:54:40,444 I love women. I want to help women 837 00:54:40,464 --> 00:54:42,347 Oh come off it, everybody hates women 838 00:54:42,367 --> 00:54:45,107 Women hate women and men hate women, it's the one thing we can all agree on 839 00:54:45,127 --> 00:54:47,528 - Is that true? - It's complicated. "Hate" is a strong word 840 00:54:47,548 --> 00:54:48,623 Wake up, mom! 841 00:54:49,725 --> 00:54:51,581 I'm wide awake, Sasha! 842 00:54:55,501 --> 00:54:57,719 Mom, where did you learn to drive like this? 843 00:54:58,139 --> 00:55:00,728 - There was this guy... - Was it Dad? 844 00:55:00,751 --> 00:55:02,545 Yeah, yeah... it was... it was Dad 845 00:55:22,097 --> 00:55:23,097 Okay, duck! 846 00:55:24,098 --> 00:55:25,779 - You look so pretty - Don't look at me 847 00:55:25,899 --> 00:55:26,759 Okay, sorry 848 00:55:31,384 --> 00:55:34,216 I can't hold them off forever. Where can we go? 849 00:55:34,536 --> 00:55:37,352 Wait, I have an idea. Can you get us to Venice Beach? 850 00:55:37,472 --> 00:55:38,472 Sure can! 851 00:55:39,232 --> 00:55:41,878 I love rollerblades. Where are we going? 852 00:55:41,898 --> 00:55:43,552 - Barbie Land - What? Mom! 853 00:55:43,672 --> 00:55:45,873 Are you really going to let Barbie take you 854 00:55:45,897 --> 00:55:47,817 and your tween daughter to an imaginary land? 855 00:55:47,818 --> 00:55:49,994 Yes, and you want to know why? Because I never get to do anything 856 00:55:50,114 --> 00:55:51,969 I didn't even go on that cruise I won at your school raffle 857 00:55:52,089 --> 00:55:54,770 because I didn't have enough vacation days and your dad's allergic to sun 858 00:55:54,771 --> 00:55:55,065 Oh 859 00:55:55,090 --> 00:55:57,927 - What about Dad? We can't just leave him - He'll be fine 860 00:55:58,539 --> 00:56:01,939 Boligrafos. Boligrafos. Boligrafos 861 00:56:04,164 --> 00:56:06,177 - Yeah, yeah, he'll be fine - Ready for fun? 862 00:56:06,297 --> 00:56:07,580 Yes! 863 00:56:07,700 --> 00:56:11,041 Here we go! Come on and feel the magic 864 00:56:12,786 --> 00:56:14,148 Where are we? 865 00:56:14,268 --> 00:56:17,005 - How did we get into these clothes? - How did we get into this vehicle? 866 00:56:17,025 --> 00:56:18,695 When I was a kid I lost these boots and 867 00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:20,535 my mom wouldn't let me buy a whole new Barbie 868 00:56:20,555 --> 00:56:22,679 - ...just to replace the boots - They look so good on you! 869 00:56:22,799 --> 00:56:23,677 Why thank you! 870 00:56:23,878 --> 00:56:25,940 - Hey you - She was always my favorite Barbie 871 00:56:25,965 --> 00:56:27,550 You're my favorite human 872 00:56:27,570 --> 00:56:30,086 Don't tell him, but I never got a Ken 873 00:56:30,106 --> 00:56:34,203 That's because Ken is totally superfluous... I didn't say that 874 00:56:34,288 --> 00:56:36,141 Women hold all major positions of power 875 00:56:36,261 --> 00:56:39,971 control all the money, basically everything that men do in your world, women do in ours 876 00:56:40,229 --> 00:56:41,752 I mean, that sounds kind of cool 877 00:56:41,776 --> 00:56:43,755 Sasha, look! Dolphins! 878 00:56:44,492 --> 00:56:48,802 Closer I am to fine, yeah 879 00:56:49,034 --> 00:56:51,304 Closer I am to fi... 880 00:56:51,305 --> 00:56:52,689 What is this song?! 881 00:56:52,709 --> 00:56:54,698 Oh! And we have a female president and it's 882 00:56:54,722 --> 00:56:56,911 fun, and work, and friendship and females 24/7 883 00:56:57,431 --> 00:56:59,484 No giant hands come in and play with you? 884 00:56:59,508 --> 00:57:00,596 No, that's crazy 885 00:57:00,675 --> 00:57:03,966 Excuse me, have you seen a group of women on wheels? 886 00:57:03,986 --> 00:57:05,761 Actually yeah, there was blonde, brunette and a 887 00:57:05,785 --> 00:57:07,559 ...tween, they rollerbladed in that direction 888 00:57:07,647 --> 00:57:08,647 Oh no 889 00:57:09,466 --> 00:57:11,216 First step is always rollerblading 890 00:57:11,336 --> 00:57:13,836 - Excuse me, sir? - They've gone to Barbie Land 891 00:57:14,677 --> 00:57:16,518 - Oh no - And she's brought humans there with her 892 00:57:16,538 --> 00:57:18,863 This could mean extremely weird things for our world 893 00:57:18,887 --> 00:57:19,754 Like what? 894 00:57:19,774 --> 00:57:22,859 Nothing any of our collective imaginations could ever dream of 895 00:57:22,879 --> 00:57:26,179 A podcast hosted by two wise trees 896 00:57:26,299 --> 00:57:29,727 Or a choir of 2,000 young fathers 897 00:57:29,847 --> 00:57:32,508 Not even close. We've got to get to Barbie Land 898 00:57:32,628 --> 00:57:35,631 Go, find some blades now! Just pick a direction and run 899 00:57:37,116 --> 00:57:40,601 I can practically feel my heels lifting already. Yes! 900 00:57:40,643 --> 00:57:43,456 This is what I was supposed to do. Bring you back here 901 00:57:43,576 --> 00:57:45,376 - It feels right - It does 902 00:57:45,724 --> 00:57:47,812 Okay, this is... oh 903 00:57:48,752 --> 00:57:49,852 That's strange 904 00:57:59,031 --> 00:58:00,291 Incoming brewski beer 905 00:58:02,380 --> 00:58:04,162 See that's our President with the beer 906 00:58:04,382 --> 00:58:07,449 and the cheering squad is the Supreme Court 907 00:58:07,476 --> 00:58:10,041 This is so much better than being President 908 00:58:10,574 --> 00:58:12,374 Something's weird today 909 00:58:12,980 --> 00:58:14,380 Hi, Barbie! 910 00:58:15,250 --> 00:58:17,611 Oh, okay! Hi, Ken! 911 00:58:17,631 --> 00:58:19,256 Have a brewski beer 912 00:58:19,276 --> 00:58:21,385 My big guy is thirsty 913 00:58:22,860 --> 00:58:24,110 Anyway... uh 914 00:58:24,753 --> 00:58:26,037 Wait until you see my Dream House 915 00:58:26,061 --> 00:58:28,888 Everything I've bought and own will totally inspire you 916 00:58:28,908 --> 00:58:30,818 And we can change clothes again! 917 00:58:33,739 --> 00:58:34,828 That's the Capitol! 918 00:58:35,306 --> 00:58:37,106 - It's pink? - Pink! 919 00:58:37,126 --> 00:58:38,126 And that's... 920 00:58:42,662 --> 00:58:45,627 These are the Dream Houses. This is where I live 921 00:58:45,647 --> 00:58:47,315 You can see through the houses 922 00:58:47,435 --> 00:58:49,618 So does each Barbie like have their own house? 923 00:58:49,619 --> 00:58:50,463 Mmhmm 924 00:58:50,488 --> 00:58:52,847 That's cool. Where do the Kens stay? 925 00:58:54,033 --> 00:58:55,403 I don't know 926 00:58:55,719 --> 00:58:58,078 At first I thought the Real World was run by men 927 00:58:58,198 --> 00:59:01,433 And then, there was a minute, where I thought it was run by horses 928 00:59:02,420 --> 00:59:05,556 But then I realized that horses just men extenders 929 00:59:07,982 --> 00:59:11,756 Oh, I had that tree house! I saved up my allowance to buy it. 930 00:59:11,776 --> 00:59:15,559 I've never seen a car like that before. What happened here? 931 00:59:16,582 --> 00:59:22,044 Everything, basically everything, exists to expand and elevate the presence of men! 932 00:59:22,392 --> 00:59:23,861 - That's amazing - Beautiful. 933 00:59:23,981 --> 00:59:25,831 - I know - Barbie's here 934 00:59:26,422 --> 00:59:27,422 Ken? 935 00:59:29,818 --> 00:59:30,981 What have you done? 936 00:59:31,785 --> 00:59:32,924 What are you wearing? 937 00:59:34,413 --> 00:59:37,163 Don't question it, just roll with it, tiny baby 938 00:59:37,902 --> 00:59:39,236 Don't call me baby 939 00:59:39,260 --> 00:59:41,771 What about mini baby? Like this mini fridge? 940 00:59:42,206 --> 00:59:43,206 No, Ken 941 00:59:43,374 --> 00:59:46,511 This is my Dream House. It is MY Dream House! 942 00:59:46,512 --> 00:59:47,206 It's mine! 943 00:59:47,331 --> 00:59:49,358 No, this is no longer Barbie's Dream House 944 00:59:49,461 --> 00:59:51,449 This shall henceforth be known as 945 00:59:51,473 --> 00:59:54,661 Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House 946 00:59:55,086 --> 00:59:57,962 - You don't have to say dojo and house - And casa 947 00:59:57,982 --> 01:00:00,707 But you do because it feels good. Try it 948 01:00:00,727 --> 01:00:02,550 - Mojo Dojo - No, don't... don't say it 949 01:00:02,570 --> 01:00:04,546 Mojo Dojo Casa House 950 01:00:06,516 --> 01:00:07,968 Give it to me straight. How weird is it? 951 01:00:08,088 --> 01:00:13,746 Whoa, boss. These Mojo Dojo Casa Houses are literally flying off the shelves 952 01:00:13,836 --> 01:00:15,403 The kids are clamoring for 'em 953 01:00:15,427 --> 01:00:17,194 Ken is on t-shirts, mugs... 954 01:00:17,592 --> 01:00:19,830 - It's the number 1 tattoo - Oh no 955 01:00:19,850 --> 01:00:22,668 Warner Bros has started auditions for the Ken movie 956 01:00:22,788 --> 01:00:25,087 Which is already a blockbuster hit 957 01:00:26,616 --> 01:00:28,574 It's happening. The thing we could never imagine. 958 01:00:28,694 --> 01:00:30,621 - And if we don't get my work lady... - "Executive assistant" 959 01:00:30,741 --> 01:00:33,899 My executive work lady and someone who's probably her daughter back here 960 01:00:33,919 --> 01:00:36,322 and close the portal, our worlds could be altered forever 961 01:00:36,442 --> 01:00:39,383 So what does it matter if it's Barbie or Ken? The money is pouring in 962 01:00:39,503 --> 01:00:41,351 Shame on you, Executive Number 2 963 01:00:41,741 --> 01:00:45,159 You think I spent my entire life in boardrooms because of a bottom line? 964 01:00:45,398 --> 01:00:48,698 No! I got into this business because of little girls and their dreams 965 01:00:49,047 --> 01:00:50,869 In the least creep way possible 966 01:00:51,394 --> 01:00:54,087 Now blade faster! Time is running out 967 01:00:54,207 --> 01:00:59,157 Look, I'm just having some brewski beers at my Dojo Mojo Casa House 968 01:01:00,206 --> 01:01:02,267 - Ken! - You can stay if you want 969 01:01:02,387 --> 01:01:04,078 As my bride-wife. 970 01:01:04,102 --> 01:01:06,493 Or my long term, low committment distance girlfriend 971 01:01:06,882 --> 01:01:08,248 - Ugh! - What do you say? 972 01:01:09,148 --> 01:01:10,398 Brewski beer me? 973 01:01:10,753 --> 01:01:13,068 I will not brewski beer you 974 01:01:14,383 --> 01:01:15,383 That's fine 975 01:01:16,057 --> 01:01:17,574 You know now that you Barbies aren't around to run everything 976 01:01:17,598 --> 01:01:19,084 We can do our hair however we like 977 01:01:19,204 --> 01:01:20,123 I have hats 978 01:01:20,243 --> 01:01:23,519 Where are my hungry boys? Who wants snacks? 979 01:01:24,333 --> 01:01:27,405 Barbie, I am so happy to see you. Can you believe what is happening? 980 01:01:27,425 --> 01:01:29,075 I know, isn't it great? 981 01:01:29,278 --> 01:01:31,262 Anyone need a brewski beer? 982 01:01:31,482 --> 01:01:34,043 What are you doing? You're a doctor! 983 01:01:34,063 --> 01:01:35,879 I like being a helpful decoration 984 01:01:35,999 --> 01:01:38,451 And Alan likes to help me give all the Kens foot massages 985 01:01:38,671 --> 01:01:40,015 No I don't... I don't like that 986 01:01:40,039 --> 01:01:40,952 We love it! 987 01:01:41,198 --> 01:01:43,809 - Ugh, so gross - I'm so blotto face day drunk right now 988 01:01:44,411 --> 01:01:45,572 Ditto, same... same that 989 01:01:45,592 --> 01:01:49,210 I like not having to make any decisions. It's like a spa day for my brain 990 01:01:49,230 --> 01:01:50,230 Forever 991 01:01:50,909 --> 01:01:52,005 What is wrong with them? 992 01:01:52,025 --> 01:01:54,018 We just explained to them the immaculate, impeccable, 993 01:01:54,042 --> 01:01:56,498 seamless garment of logic that is patriarchy and they crumbled 994 01:01:56,618 --> 01:02:00,630 Oh my god, this is like in the 1500s with the indigenous people and smallpox 995 01:02:00,650 --> 01:02:02,265 They had no defenses against it 996 01:02:02,385 --> 01:02:04,473 Yeah! Buckle up, babe 997 01:02:05,470 --> 01:02:07,127 Because Barbie Land... 998 01:02:07,351 --> 01:02:08,780 ...is now Ken Land 999 01:02:08,819 --> 01:02:11,316 And it's going to be just like Century City in Los Angeles 1000 01:02:11,436 --> 01:02:14,723 Because they had it all figured out in Century City 1001 01:02:14,969 --> 01:02:17,009 The minute you get out of your car, you're like 1002 01:02:17,033 --> 01:02:19,473 "I can't believe how great this place is!" 1003 01:02:19,664 --> 01:02:22,336 No no no, they don't have it figured out in Century City 1004 01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:24,332 Because we failed them 1005 01:02:24,352 --> 01:02:26,231 No, you failed ME! 1006 01:02:32,478 --> 01:02:34,631 Out there I was somebody 1007 01:02:36,913 --> 01:02:38,913 And when I walked down the street... 1008 01:02:40,836 --> 01:02:43,336 ...people respected me just for who I am 1009 01:02:47,298 --> 01:02:48,398 One lady 1010 01:02:49,218 --> 01:02:50,524 She even asked me for the time 1011 01:02:50,644 --> 01:02:52,335 - No way! - Way 1012 01:02:55,628 --> 01:02:57,863 And if it weren't for these technicalities like... 1013 01:02:58,136 --> 01:03:01,300 MBAs, medical degrees, and... I don't know... 1014 01:03:01,997 --> 01:03:04,567 ...swim lessons, I could've ruled that world 1015 01:03:04,857 --> 01:03:06,955 But I don't need any of those things here 1016 01:03:12,592 --> 01:03:14,442 Here I'm just a dude 1017 01:03:14,977 --> 01:03:16,056 And you know what? 1018 01:03:20,334 --> 01:03:21,334 That's enough 1019 01:03:21,933 --> 01:03:23,033 TV remote? 1020 01:03:27,179 --> 01:03:27,929 Which one is it? 1021 01:03:28,349 --> 01:03:29,349 Oh, it's that one right there 1022 01:03:31,254 --> 01:03:33,308 Call me Mr. Ken President Prime Minister Man 1023 01:03:33,328 --> 01:03:36,512 Let's recap all the amazing changes and innovations thanks to the Kens 1024 01:03:36,513 --> 01:03:38,553 The Nobel Prize in horses... 1025 01:03:38,573 --> 01:03:40,459 Goes to... Ken! 1026 01:03:41,014 --> 01:03:43,014 Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! 1027 01:03:44,314 --> 01:03:45,014 Wow 1028 01:03:45,139 --> 01:03:47,139 And now you're making it permanent with a 1029 01:03:47,163 --> 01:03:50,084 special with election to change the Constitution 1030 01:03:50,104 --> 01:03:52,265 That's right, in just 48 hours all the Kens will 1031 01:03:52,289 --> 01:03:54,774 head to the polls and vote to change the Constitution 1032 01:03:54,894 --> 01:03:58,423 To a government for Kens, of the Kens, and by the Kens! 1033 01:04:02,804 --> 01:04:04,697 You can't do this 1034 01:04:04,817 --> 01:04:07,551 This is Barbie Land. The Barbies worked hard 1035 01:04:07,571 --> 01:04:10,521 and they dreamed hard to make it everything that it is you- 1036 01:04:11,443 --> 01:04:14,243 You can't just undo it in a day 1037 01:04:14,873 --> 01:04:17,173 Literally and figuratively watch me 1038 01:04:18,427 --> 01:04:19,477 Now... 1039 01:04:19,889 --> 01:04:21,189 If you'll excuse me 1040 01:04:22,199 --> 01:04:24,737 This is my Mojo Dojo Casa House 1041 01:04:24,857 --> 01:04:25,957 It's not... 1042 01:04:26,477 --> 01:04:28,927 Barbie's Mojo Dojo Casa House 1043 01:04:30,980 --> 01:04:31,980 Right? 1044 01:04:36,447 --> 01:04:37,797 How's that feel? 1045 01:04:41,299 --> 01:04:43,349 It is not fun, is it? 1046 01:04:45,229 --> 01:04:47,771 It's Boys' Night! 1047 01:05:03,098 --> 01:05:05,198 Every night is Boys' Night. 1048 01:05:17,469 --> 01:05:21,495 Barbie! Take your lady fashions with you! 1049 01:05:21,615 --> 01:05:24,636 Take your Celebrate Disco Bell Bottoms 1050 01:05:26,301 --> 01:05:30,831 And your Icecapade Pretty Practice Suit and Dazzling Show Skirt 1051 01:05:31,583 --> 01:05:35,620 - These are archival - Your Pajama Jam in Amsterdam set! 1052 01:05:36,455 --> 01:05:39,104 And your Pretty Paisley Palazzo Pants! 1053 01:05:40,401 --> 01:05:43,435 - Not the Palazzo! - And get out! 1054 01:05:46,076 --> 01:05:48,064 Leave the skirt! 1055 01:05:51,340 --> 01:05:52,259 Honey 1056 01:05:52,379 --> 01:05:55,642 Why did you wish me to your messed up world using your 1057 01:05:56,446 --> 01:05:59,358 ...complicated human thoughts and feelings? 1058 01:05:59,478 --> 01:06:02,035 - What? - Barbie Land was perfect before 1059 01:06:03,270 --> 01:06:05,150 I was perfect before 1060 01:06:06,028 --> 01:06:09,728 I'm so sorry, I... I wasn't trying to do anything 1061 01:06:09,748 --> 01:06:11,148 Don't apologize 1062 01:06:11,569 --> 01:06:13,073 Don't blame my mom 1063 01:06:13,706 --> 01:06:14,964 Oh Sasha, that's sweet 1064 01:06:15,084 --> 01:06:18,091 Maybe you wished us. Maybe it's your fault, Barbie. 1065 01:06:18,211 --> 01:06:22,231 No, I didn't wish anything. I never wanted anything to change 1066 01:06:22,950 --> 01:06:25,266 Oh, honey, that's life 1067 01:06:26,045 --> 01:06:27,745 It's all change 1068 01:06:28,944 --> 01:06:30,344 Well that's... 1069 01:06:30,369 --> 01:06:31,969 That's terrifying 1070 01:06:36,602 --> 01:06:37,702 I don't want that 1071 01:06:38,927 --> 01:06:41,727 Not my life. No thank you 1072 01:06:41,815 --> 01:06:44,997 Just... no. I don't want this 1073 01:06:51,361 --> 01:06:55,157 I'm just going to sit here and wait and hope that one of the more... 1074 01:06:55,408 --> 01:06:57,258 ...leadership oriented Barbies just... 1075 01:06:57,622 --> 01:07:00,702 ...snaps out of it, does something about this whole mess 1076 01:07:01,022 --> 01:07:03,400 I really understand this feeling 1077 01:07:03,620 --> 01:07:06,552 It's basically like being a human person all the time 1078 01:07:06,572 --> 01:07:08,982 Please just leave me here, just leave me, go back 1079 01:07:09,006 --> 01:07:11,616 to your messed up world and just leave me to mine? 1080 01:07:12,573 --> 01:07:14,658 - So you're just going to give up? - Yes. 1081 01:07:19,797 --> 01:07:20,797 Okay 1082 01:07:21,229 --> 01:07:25,231 You know I almost feel bad for you, but you are exactly what I thought you were 1083 01:07:26,688 --> 01:07:27,688 Um 1084 01:07:28,713 --> 01:07:30,369 Let's go, honey, let's just... 1085 01:07:30,489 --> 01:07:33,089 - Okay, how do we even... - Do everything we did in reverse 1086 01:07:35,642 --> 01:07:36,642 Unbelievable 1087 01:07:37,236 --> 01:07:39,137 Come on, mom. She doesn't deserve you 1088 01:07:44,237 --> 01:07:46,341 This is the lowest I've ever been 1089 01:07:47,174 --> 01:07:50,020 Emotionally and physically 1090 01:07:51,739 --> 01:07:55,495 Okay kids, it's time to run out and get the new Depression Barbie 1091 01:07:55,515 --> 01:07:57,524 She wears sweatpants all day and night 1092 01:07:57,544 --> 01:07:59,755 She spent 7 hours today on Instagram 1093 01:07:59,779 --> 01:08:01,989 Looking at her estranged best friend's engagement photos 1094 01:08:02,309 --> 01:08:04,363 While eating a family sized bag of Starbursts 1095 01:08:04,383 --> 01:08:06,916 And now her jaw is killing her and she's going 1096 01:08:06,940 --> 01:08:09,069 to watch the BBC's Pride and Prejudice 1097 01:08:09,089 --> 01:08:12,135 for the seventh time until she falls asleep 1098 01:08:12,155 --> 01:08:14,480 Our families is such that any alliance between us 1099 01:08:14,504 --> 01:08:16,829 must be regarded as a highly reprehensible connection 1100 01:08:17,016 --> 01:08:19,872 Anxiety, panic attacks, and OCD sold separately 1101 01:08:20,691 --> 01:08:22,857 Barbie, Barbie. Wake up 1102 01:08:25,849 --> 01:08:27,399 I'm like you now 1103 01:08:27,595 --> 01:08:29,306 Ugly and unwanted 1104 01:08:30,576 --> 01:08:31,576 Thanks 1105 01:08:32,546 --> 01:08:34,076 Let's get her in the back, come on 1106 01:08:35,715 --> 01:08:37,463 - Isn't this great? - Yes 1107 01:08:37,583 --> 01:08:40,149 - Wait until you see the boat - The boat 1108 01:08:41,963 --> 01:08:43,539 Beautiful countryside 1109 01:08:44,982 --> 01:08:46,945 He said he could see through me 1110 01:08:46,965 --> 01:08:50,556 I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind 1111 01:08:50,731 --> 01:08:53,527 Got my paper and I was free 1112 01:08:54,650 --> 01:08:59,342 I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains 1113 01:08:59,343 --> 01:09:04,281 I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains 1114 01:09:04,282 --> 01:09:06,949 We interrupt to this broadcast to bring you our new radio station 1115 01:09:07,069 --> 01:09:09,080 Only playing Ken's favorite song 1116 01:09:14,944 --> 01:09:16,994 Turn this song off, for Christ's sake! 1117 01:09:23,700 --> 01:09:24,989 - Who are you? - I'm Alan 1118 01:09:25,109 --> 01:09:29,021 - Oh you are Alan, that's great! - Don't tell the Kens, I'm trying to escape 1119 01:09:29,141 --> 01:09:32,445 I cannot sit on one more leather couch. It's going to break my spirit 1120 01:09:32,765 --> 01:09:36,203 As soon as they figure out how to build that wall sideways and not just up 1121 01:09:36,323 --> 01:09:38,620 No one is going to be able to get in or out 1122 01:09:38,740 --> 01:09:40,323 So we want to leave, we'd better make a run for it 1123 01:09:40,347 --> 01:09:41,597 No Alan, you can't go 1124 01:09:41,617 --> 01:09:43,094 Having a Barbie in the Real World is what 1125 01:09:43,118 --> 01:09:44,782 caused all these problems in the first place 1126 01:09:44,902 --> 01:09:47,095 Not one person would care if Alan was in the Real World 1127 01:09:47,119 --> 01:09:48,350 In fact, it's happened before 1128 01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:50,179 All of NSYNC, Alan 1129 01:09:50,507 --> 01:09:52,511 Yes, even him. So come on! 1130 01:09:52,631 --> 01:09:53,631 Hey, you there! 1131 01:09:54,607 --> 01:09:57,320 - What... what do we do? - Just get in the car and keep it singing 1132 01:09:57,540 --> 01:09:59,635 Hey man! Be ready for anything 1133 01:09:59,860 --> 01:10:01,657 - Who are you? - I'm Alan 1134 01:10:01,777 --> 01:10:04,575 I'm uh... I'm Ken's buddy. Yeah. All his clothes fit me 1135 01:10:08,156 --> 01:10:09,156 Get in the car 1136 01:10:14,197 --> 01:10:16,879 - Wait, you don't have a driver's license - Well this car doesn't have an engine 1137 01:10:17,142 --> 01:10:18,142 Fine 1138 01:10:18,772 --> 01:10:21,306 KINGDOM OF KEN 1139 01:10:21,981 --> 01:10:24,618 - What are you doing? We gotta go - We have to go back 1140 01:10:24,738 --> 01:10:27,386 Barbie Land needs saving. Barbie needs saving 1141 01:10:27,853 --> 01:10:29,076 Wh... you hate Barbie 1142 01:10:29,100 --> 01:10:31,194 But you don't. You've always believed in what she could be 1143 01:10:31,214 --> 01:10:34,702 Yeah, well, I was wrong. Barbie gave up. The Kens won 1144 01:10:35,732 --> 01:10:37,311 You have to try. Even if... 1145 01:10:37,431 --> 01:10:39,757 Even if you can't make it perfect, you can make it better 1146 01:10:39,877 --> 01:10:41,723 I can't make anything better. I'm the one who ruined 1147 01:10:41,747 --> 01:10:43,588 Barbie Land with my stupid drawings in the first place 1148 01:10:43,608 --> 01:10:45,609 They're not stupid, they're amazing 1149 01:10:48,230 --> 01:10:49,508 You like my drawings? 1150 01:10:49,857 --> 01:10:52,665 They're weird and dark and... crazy 1151 01:10:53,162 --> 01:10:54,976 Everything you pretend not to be 1152 01:10:57,010 --> 01:11:00,338 I am.... I am. I'm weird and I'm dark and I'm crazy 1153 01:11:03,481 --> 01:11:05,232 Easy. Easy... 1154 01:11:07,759 --> 01:11:08,659 Okay 1155 01:11:09,284 --> 01:11:11,184 - Do you want some more Alan? - No! 1156 01:11:12,386 --> 01:11:15,736 - We have to get out of here right now - Shut up, Alan! We're going back 1157 01:11:16,405 --> 01:11:18,058 Let's go get my doll 1158 01:11:21,995 --> 01:11:23,655 I'll never get out of here 1159 01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:25,407 Where do we find Barbie? 1160 01:11:25,431 --> 01:11:27,033 There's only one place she'd be 1161 01:11:29,095 --> 01:11:30,355 You're a writer 1162 01:11:30,475 --> 01:11:33,301 This is your Nobel prize. Remember winning it? 1163 01:11:33,516 --> 01:11:36,231 It's useless trying to deprogram her, I already did everything I could 1164 01:11:36,255 --> 01:11:37,152 Oh my god 1165 01:11:37,856 --> 01:11:39,667 I don't even know how I got here 1166 01:11:39,787 --> 01:11:41,191 I don't deserve this 1167 01:11:41,311 --> 01:11:43,042 Um, I'd like to thank... 1168 01:11:43,273 --> 01:11:44,073 Ken 1169 01:11:44,996 --> 01:11:46,396 Thank you, Ken 1170 01:11:46,807 --> 01:11:48,263 I love you, Ken 1171 01:11:48,673 --> 01:11:50,345 The fork in my soup is this Barb... 1172 01:11:50,369 --> 01:11:53,241 Why didn't the brainwashing work on you? 1173 01:11:53,338 --> 01:11:56,358 My exposure to the Real World must have made be immune 1174 01:11:56,478 --> 01:11:59,273 Either you're brainwashed or you're weird and ugly 1175 01:11:59,297 --> 01:12:00,394 There is no in between 1176 01:12:00,414 --> 01:12:01,592 Sing it, sister 1177 01:12:01,687 --> 01:12:04,033 Well, get ready kids. Because in 48 hours... 1178 01:12:04,057 --> 01:12:05,603 Barbie Land becomes Ken Land 1179 01:12:05,622 --> 01:12:07,955 Come on, gang. We'll find Barbie at the top of these stairs 1180 01:12:08,075 --> 01:12:09,525 The Kens... they found us 1181 01:12:13,557 --> 01:12:14,557 Ken! 1182 01:12:14,935 --> 01:12:15,935 Ken? 1183 01:12:19,743 --> 01:12:20,943 Hello? 1184 01:12:21,711 --> 01:12:23,609 Humans. We're fine 1185 01:12:23,729 --> 01:12:24,779 And Alan 1186 01:12:25,596 --> 01:12:28,237 Come into my Weird House, hi! I'm Weird Barbie 1187 01:12:28,357 --> 01:12:31,361 I am in the splits, I have a funky haircut and I smell like basement 1188 01:12:31,481 --> 01:12:34,271 Oh my god, I had a Weird Barbie! 1189 01:12:34,391 --> 01:12:37,361 - Yeah, you did - You make then weird by playing too hard 1190 01:12:37,585 --> 01:12:38,405 It's cool 1191 01:12:38,829 --> 01:12:41,309 That's Sugar Daddy Ken, and Earring Magic Ken 1192 01:12:41,429 --> 01:12:42,616 Mattel discontinued them 1193 01:12:42,736 --> 01:12:45,396 - Sugar daddy? - No no no, I'm not a sugar daddy 1194 01:12:45,516 --> 01:12:47,916 This is Sugar. And I'm her daddy 1195 01:12:48,158 --> 01:12:49,931 And I have an earring, a magic earring 1196 01:12:50,051 --> 01:12:51,901 These were actual Kens 1197 01:12:52,419 --> 01:12:54,577 More discontinued Barbies 1198 01:12:54,697 --> 01:12:57,603 - Growing Up Skipper? May I? - Okay 1199 01:12:57,723 --> 01:12:58,623 Watch this 1200 01:13:00,002 --> 01:13:02,469 - Her boobs grow! - Why would they do that? 1201 01:13:02,589 --> 01:13:04,239 And Barbie Video Girl? 1202 01:13:04,259 --> 01:13:06,019 I have a TV in my back 1203 01:13:06,039 --> 01:13:09,214 You know whose dream that is? Nobody. Nobody's dream 1204 01:13:09,534 --> 01:13:11,504 And that's Barbie Barbie, of course 1205 01:13:11,524 --> 01:13:13,774 She's not dead, she's just having an existential crisis 1206 01:13:14,054 --> 01:13:15,244 Okay, come on 1207 01:13:18,792 --> 01:13:19,792 What's wrong? 1208 01:13:23,718 --> 01:13:24,818 I'm not... 1209 01:13:25,697 --> 01:13:27,183 pretty anymore 1210 01:13:29,161 --> 01:13:31,028 What? You're so pretty 1211 01:13:31,148 --> 01:13:34,433 I'm not "Stereotypical Barbie" pretty 1212 01:13:34,553 --> 01:13:36,631 Note to the filmakers: Margot Robbie is the wrong 1213 01:13:36,655 --> 01:13:38,733 person to cast if you want to make this point 1214 01:13:38,852 --> 01:13:40,242 But you're beautiful 1215 01:13:40,857 --> 01:13:42,627 It's not just that. I'm not... 1216 01:13:44,358 --> 01:13:46,150 smart enough to be interesting 1217 01:13:46,270 --> 01:13:48,583 - You're so smart - I can't do brain surgery 1218 01:13:48,703 --> 01:13:50,358 I've never flown a plane 1219 01:13:51,991 --> 01:13:53,441 I'm not the President 1220 01:13:54,943 --> 01:13:57,093 No one on the Supreme Court is me 1221 01:13:59,173 --> 01:14:00,273 I'm not... 1222 01:14:00,991 --> 01:14:02,191 good enough... 1223 01:14:02,699 --> 01:14:03,999 for anything 1224 01:14:10,411 --> 01:14:13,161 It is literally impossible to be a woman 1225 01:14:15,026 --> 01:14:17,226 You are so beautiful 1226 01:14:17,346 --> 01:14:19,882 And so smart, and it kills me that 1227 01:14:19,906 --> 01:14:22,042 you don't think you're good enough 1228 01:14:22,290 --> 01:14:23,288 Like... 1229 01:14:23,541 --> 01:14:26,191 we have to always be extraordinary 1230 01:14:27,429 --> 01:14:28,198 But somehow 1231 01:14:28,276 --> 01:14:31,402 we're always doing it wrong 1232 01:14:33,989 --> 01:14:35,895 You have to be thin, but not too thin 1233 01:14:36,015 --> 01:14:38,190 And you can never say you want to be thin 1234 01:14:38,214 --> 01:14:40,581 You have to say you want to be healthy 1235 01:14:40,601 --> 01:14:43,371 But also you have to be thin 1236 01:14:43,972 --> 01:14:46,805 You have money, but can't ask for money 1237 01:14:46,825 --> 01:14:48,375 Because that's crass 1238 01:14:50,512 --> 01:14:52,418 You have to be boss, but can't be mean 1239 01:14:52,538 --> 01:14:55,596 You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas 1240 01:14:55,716 --> 01:14:57,596 You're supposed to love being a mother, but 1241 01:14:57,620 --> 01:14:59,499 don't talk about your kids all the damn time 1242 01:14:59,619 --> 01:15:04,248 You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people 1243 01:15:04,689 --> 01:15:07,784 You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane 1244 01:15:07,904 --> 01:15:10,851 But if you point that out, you're accused of complaining 1245 01:15:11,041 --> 01:15:12,752 You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but 1246 01:15:12,776 --> 01:15:15,089 not so pretty that you tempt them too much or 1247 01:15:15,109 --> 01:15:18,240 that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood 1248 01:15:18,260 --> 01:15:19,821 but always stand out 1249 01:15:19,941 --> 01:15:22,074 And always be grateful 1250 01:15:22,574 --> 01:15:25,815 But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that 1251 01:15:25,935 --> 01:15:27,929 But also, always be grateful 1252 01:15:28,026 --> 01:15:29,925 You have to never get old 1253 01:15:30,045 --> 01:15:32,857 Never be rude, never show off 1254 01:15:32,977 --> 01:15:37,052 Never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear 1255 01:15:37,271 --> 01:15:40,236 Never get out of line, it's too hard 1256 01:15:40,356 --> 01:15:44,487 It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says "thank you" 1257 01:15:44,607 --> 01:15:46,941 And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing 1258 01:15:46,965 --> 01:15:49,999 everything wrong, but also everything is your fault 1259 01:15:55,273 --> 01:15:56,722 I'm just so tired... 1260 01:15:57,316 --> 01:16:02,652 of watching myself and every single other woman 1261 01:16:02,884 --> 01:16:07,032 tie herself into knots so that people will like us 1262 01:16:10,556 --> 01:16:12,224 And if all of that... 1263 01:16:13,424 --> 01:16:16,303 is also true for a doll... 1264 01:16:19,481 --> 01:16:21,631 representing a woman... 1265 01:16:24,052 --> 01:16:26,519 then I don't even know 1266 01:16:32,787 --> 01:16:33,937 Wait... 1267 01:16:35,138 --> 01:16:36,638 I did write a book 1268 01:16:37,359 --> 01:16:39,378 It's like I've been in a dream 1269 01:16:39,498 --> 01:16:42,412 where I was somehow really invested 1270 01:16:42,436 --> 01:16:45,471 in the Zack Snyder cut of Justice League 1271 01:16:47,038 --> 01:16:50,024 But what you said broke me out of it 1272 01:16:51,076 --> 01:16:53,123 - Really? - Yeah 1273 01:16:53,154 --> 01:16:54,862 You're back! She's back! 1274 01:16:54,982 --> 01:16:57,995 By giving voice to the cognitive dissonance required to be a woman 1275 01:16:58,015 --> 01:17:00,581 under the patriarchy, you robbed it of its power 1276 01:17:00,601 --> 01:17:01,601 Yes 1277 01:17:03,137 --> 01:17:04,211 I just said all of that 1278 01:17:04,331 --> 01:17:06,714 Hell yes, White Savior Barbie! 1279 01:17:06,966 --> 01:17:09,916 No, it was your mom. Your mom did the saving 1280 01:17:10,334 --> 01:17:11,858 We have to stop the Kens 1281 01:17:11,882 --> 01:17:14,382 And you need to say all of those things to the other Barbies 1282 01:17:14,402 --> 01:17:15,760 - That's the key - Got it 1283 01:17:15,880 --> 01:17:18,125 But how are we going to get the Barbies away from their Kens? 1284 01:17:18,363 --> 01:17:20,202 We have experience with a world like this one 1285 01:17:20,322 --> 01:17:22,142 Do you have a map of Barbie Land? 1286 01:17:22,262 --> 01:17:23,642 What do you think? 1287 01:17:26,676 --> 01:17:28,336 - Wow - Thanks, I built it 1288 01:17:28,337 --> 01:17:29,131 Okay, here's the deal 1289 01:17:29,156 --> 01:17:32,988 It's not just about how they see us, it's about how they see themselves 1290 01:17:33,108 --> 01:17:35,915 Ken Land contains the seeds of its own destruction 1291 01:17:35,935 --> 01:17:38,296 First we have to get the Barbies away from their Kens 1292 01:17:38,700 --> 01:17:41,406 We could use a decoy Barbie who pretends 1293 01:17:41,430 --> 01:17:43,636 to be brainwashed. That should be you 1294 01:17:50,505 --> 01:17:52,787 Distract them by appearing helpless and confused 1295 01:17:52,907 --> 01:17:54,864 Kens cannot resist a damsel in distress 1296 01:17:54,984 --> 01:17:57,604 You have to make them believe that they're complacent 1297 01:17:57,804 --> 01:18:00,642 That they have the power. And when their guard is down... 1298 01:18:00,762 --> 01:18:02,512 You take the power back 1299 01:18:05,314 --> 01:18:07,484 The influence that Porsche 356 has 1300 01:18:07,508 --> 01:18:09,677 had on the motoring world as a whole... 1301 01:18:09,797 --> 01:18:10,953 it can't be overstated 1302 01:18:11,073 --> 01:18:13,033 Ugh, Photoshop is so hard 1303 01:18:13,057 --> 01:18:15,316 I just don't understand how to use the select tool 1304 01:18:15,436 --> 01:18:17,710 Honey, you can only use the select tool if 1305 01:18:17,734 --> 01:18:19,707 the layer is highlighted. Let me show you 1306 01:18:19,727 --> 01:18:22,326 My tiny head is just swimming with technical jargon like... 1307 01:18:22,446 --> 01:18:26,004 Color bands and magnetic lassos and bitmap 1308 01:18:26,124 --> 01:18:28,434 Do you think that you, with strong arms, can explain to me... 1309 01:18:28,554 --> 01:18:30,691 - What's happening? - Alan, go around 1310 01:18:32,901 --> 01:18:34,105 - But what about Ken? - No no no... 1311 01:18:34,225 --> 01:18:36,132 - No, but I love him! - Come on, Alan 1312 01:18:37,863 --> 01:18:39,298 What's going to happen to Ken? 1313 01:18:39,418 --> 01:18:40,468 Just listen 1314 01:18:41,043 --> 01:18:43,646 You have to be their mommies, but no remind them of their mommy 1315 01:18:43,766 --> 01:18:46,099 Any power you have must be masked under a giggle 1316 01:18:48,865 --> 01:18:49,833 What happened? 1317 01:18:49,853 --> 01:18:51,749 One minute I was President and then the next 1318 01:18:51,773 --> 01:18:54,230 I was cutting Ken's steak for him? 1319 01:18:54,548 --> 01:18:56,206 Welcome back, Madame President 1320 01:18:56,326 --> 01:18:59,884 Then we'll recruit the now un-brainwashed Barbies to our cause 1321 01:19:00,004 --> 01:19:01,589 They can be the new decoys 1322 01:19:01,709 --> 01:19:04,209 You can tell them that you've never seen The Godfather 1323 01:19:04,233 --> 01:19:06,402 and that you'd love them to explain it to you 1324 01:19:07,371 --> 01:19:10,458 - Ooh, are you guys watching The God Father? - The Godfather 1325 01:19:10,578 --> 01:19:13,310 - I've never seen it! - Oh my god, you've never seen The Godfather? 1326 01:19:13,430 --> 01:19:16,361 This movie is a rich blend of Coppola's aesthetic genius 1327 01:19:16,381 --> 01:19:19,400 and a triumph to Robert Evans and the architecture of the 70s studio system 1328 01:19:19,520 --> 01:19:22,065 Can you just start the movie over and just talk through the whole thing? 1329 01:19:22,085 --> 01:19:25,428 You have to find a way to reject a man's advances without damaging their egos 1330 01:19:25,548 --> 01:19:27,444 Because if you say yes to them, you're a tramp 1331 01:19:27,468 --> 01:19:29,198 but if you say no to them, you're a prude 1332 01:19:31,057 --> 01:19:33,449 - I don't want to touch a foot - No, you don't 1333 01:19:33,569 --> 01:19:36,034 Another one: be confused about money 1334 01:19:36,154 --> 01:19:38,497 I just have all my money in a savings account 1335 01:19:38,617 --> 01:19:41,450 That's totally wrong! You need treasury bonds, corporate bonds, CDs... 1336 01:19:41,570 --> 01:19:43,173 No one has CDs anymore! 1337 01:19:43,293 --> 01:19:46,098 Ah sweetheart, you are so cute when you're confused 1338 01:19:46,218 --> 01:19:50,350 But no, not music. CD stands for certificate of deposit 1339 01:19:50,470 --> 01:19:53,510 Stephen Malkmus really harnessed the cervic toxing of Lou Reed 1340 01:19:53,630 --> 01:19:56,445 with post-punk influences such as Wire and The Fall. 1341 01:19:56,565 --> 01:19:59,669 - What am I wearing? I would never choose this - Because you're a physicist 1342 01:19:59,789 --> 01:20:01,690 - Do you want some pants? - Yeah 1343 01:20:03,903 --> 01:20:05,188 Welcome back, Barbie. 1344 01:20:05,208 --> 01:20:08,176 Gee, I am so awkward and don't feel pretty at all 1345 01:20:08,296 --> 01:20:09,985 And will anyone ever like me? 1346 01:20:10,205 --> 01:20:11,636 Or distract them with the old standby 1347 01:20:11,756 --> 01:20:14,115 Wearing glasses so that they can discover that you're pretty 1348 01:20:14,235 --> 01:20:16,094 - May I? - Sure, go ahead 1349 01:20:20,611 --> 01:20:23,378 There. Now we see your beautiful face 1350 01:20:24,493 --> 01:20:27,928 And then there's pretending to be terrible at every sport ever 1351 01:20:28,048 --> 01:20:29,913 Here, let me show you 1352 01:20:30,304 --> 01:20:32,011 Here, let me show you 1353 01:20:32,131 --> 01:20:34,181 - Here, let me show you - Here, let me show you 1354 01:20:34,301 --> 01:20:36,211 Here, let us show you 1355 01:20:36,331 --> 01:20:39,748 We do this until every single Barbie is deprogrammed 1356 01:20:39,868 --> 01:20:41,760 and ready to take back Barbie Land 1357 01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:42,680 Yes! 1358 01:20:49,222 --> 01:20:52,657 Tomorrow the Kens vote to change the Constitution 1359 01:20:52,914 --> 01:20:54,402 So we have to get there first 1360 01:20:54,426 --> 01:20:56,157 The final stage of our of the plan 1361 01:20:56,277 --> 01:20:58,166 To turn the Kens against each other 1362 01:20:58,286 --> 01:21:00,443 Now that they think they have power over you 1363 01:21:00,563 --> 01:21:03,783 You make them question whether they have enough power over each other 1364 01:21:04,233 --> 01:21:05,688 What if this doesn't work? 1365 01:21:06,574 --> 01:21:07,674 What if he doesn't... 1366 01:21:09,368 --> 01:21:10,879 ...like me anymore? 1367 01:21:12,201 --> 01:21:15,063 - He likes you - He was really upset 1368 01:21:16,398 --> 01:21:17,848 Because he likes you 1369 01:21:18,323 --> 01:21:20,241 And because he knows deep down that... 1370 01:21:20,544 --> 01:21:23,874 - ...you don't like him the same way - It still doesn't mean I want to hurt him 1371 01:21:25,263 --> 01:21:26,663 He took your house 1372 01:21:27,153 --> 01:21:30,355 He brainwashed your friends, he wants to control the government 1373 01:21:30,475 --> 01:21:31,475 True 1374 01:21:31,812 --> 01:21:33,799 - Girl - Yeah 1375 01:21:35,964 --> 01:21:38,014 It's like I'm a woman already 1376 01:21:38,318 --> 01:21:39,418 Welcome 1377 01:21:39,897 --> 01:21:41,134 Is this what it's like? 1378 01:21:42,618 --> 01:21:44,277 - It's time - I'm ready 1379 01:21:45,742 --> 01:21:46,892 Thank you 1380 01:21:47,457 --> 01:21:48,657 Here I go 1381 01:21:55,399 --> 01:21:56,199 Hi! 1382 01:22:06,427 --> 01:22:07,377 Oh, hey 1383 01:22:08,093 --> 01:22:08,909 You've caught me reading 1384 01:22:11,140 --> 01:22:14,310 -I've been thinking, Ken Land? - Kendom 1385 01:22:14,312 --> 01:22:16,044 - Kendom - Kendom Land 1386 01:22:16,164 --> 01:22:17,380 - Land of... - Land of the Free and the Men 1387 01:22:17,381 --> 01:22:20,144 - Right, well, this place... is... - Kendom Land 1388 01:22:20,569 --> 01:22:21,619 Really great 1389 01:22:21,835 --> 01:22:23,817 And the Kens really are just better at 1390 01:22:23,841 --> 01:22:25,662 ruling than the Barbies ever were 1391 01:22:25,961 --> 01:22:28,742 Well, we just took patriarchy and, you know, made it patriarchy 1392 01:22:28,862 --> 01:22:31,232 - Yeah, well, I was thinking... - Yes? 1393 01:22:31,252 --> 01:22:34,989 I'm ready to be your long term distance 1394 01:22:35,009 --> 01:22:37,071 low committment casual girlfriend 1395 01:22:37,191 --> 01:22:38,792 if you'll still have me 1396 01:22:40,576 --> 01:22:42,726 - Can you just hold on for one second? - Oh, okay 1397 01:22:48,340 --> 01:22:49,416 Sublime! 1398 01:22:53,754 --> 01:22:55,654 I don't know, I'm going to have to think about that 1399 01:22:55,978 --> 01:22:56,978 Oh 1400 01:22:58,279 --> 01:22:59,115 Please? 1401 01:23:02,031 --> 01:23:03,874 Okay. Come on in 1402 01:23:04,304 --> 01:23:06,548 - I'll play the guitar at you - Oh, yay! 1403 01:24:15,276 --> 01:24:18,086 This is the final stage of our plan 1404 01:24:18,950 --> 01:24:21,112 Give them their dream come true 1405 01:24:21,695 --> 01:24:23,601 And at the peak of their happiness 1406 01:24:23,721 --> 01:24:26,695 when they think you actually care about this song... 1407 01:24:30,012 --> 01:24:31,662 You take it all away 1408 01:24:44,543 --> 01:24:45,647 What are you texting? 1409 01:24:45,767 --> 01:24:47,667 - What? - Who are you texting? 1410 01:24:48,553 --> 01:24:50,304 - No one - Hm, let me just... 1411 01:24:51,813 --> 01:24:54,056 - Ken! - Sorry, one sec 1412 01:24:56,588 --> 01:24:58,636 That's a beautiful song that you're playing 1413 01:24:59,327 --> 01:25:00,577 Did you write it? 1414 01:25:00,697 --> 01:25:02,517 Yes. Do you want to sit here and watch me do it 1415 01:25:02,637 --> 01:25:05,061 while I stare uncomfortably into your eyes for four and a half minutes? 1416 01:25:05,181 --> 01:25:06,181 I would love that 1417 01:25:07,242 --> 01:25:08,642 Sorry, one sec 1418 01:25:10,286 --> 01:25:11,186 I'll be right back 1419 01:25:14,858 --> 01:25:17,794 You play on their egos and their petty jealousies 1420 01:25:17,914 --> 01:25:19,902 and you turn them against each other 1421 01:25:20,022 --> 01:25:20,822 One sec 1422 01:25:25,233 --> 01:25:26,183 Sorry 1423 01:25:26,841 --> 01:25:30,338 While they're fighting, we take back Barbie Land 1424 01:25:32,682 --> 01:25:37,348 Does the title of long term distance casual low committment girlfriend mean nothing? 1425 01:25:37,468 --> 01:25:41,293 - What do we do? - We beach every individual one of them off 1426 01:25:41,495 --> 01:25:42,295 No 1427 01:25:43,377 --> 01:25:44,696 We go to war 1428 01:25:45,800 --> 01:25:47,353 - Against the Barbies? - No, against the Kens 1429 01:25:47,473 --> 01:25:48,944 - But we are the Kens - The other Kens 1430 01:25:49,064 --> 01:25:50,330 Well we should probably call them something 1431 01:25:50,354 --> 01:25:51,398 else so that it doesn't get confusing 1432 01:25:51,418 --> 01:25:52,793 No, because we'll know what we mean 1433 01:25:52,817 --> 01:25:54,882 But when we're on the battlefield and you "Ken at 4 o'clock"... 1434 01:25:54,902 --> 01:25:59,063 - ...how will I if you mean us Kens or the other Kens? - Because my dudes, we attack at 10 o'clock 1435 01:25:59,395 --> 01:26:01,436 We take advantage of the morning waves 1436 01:26:01,556 --> 01:26:04,277 But not so early, because we're going to want to sleep in 1437 01:26:05,025 --> 01:26:06,918 But what will we fight with? We have no guns 1438 01:26:07,038 --> 01:26:09,125 Tennis rackets and volleyballs 1439 01:26:09,245 --> 01:26:11,728 - And slap fights - And beach offs 1440 01:26:11,952 --> 01:26:13,952 - Yes! - Oh yeah 1441 01:26:19,576 --> 01:26:23,876 ♪ Doesn't seem to matter what I do 1442 01:26:23,900 --> 01:26:27,200 ♪ I'm always number two 1443 01:26:27,924 --> 01:26:33,225 ♪ No one knows how hard I tried, oh-oh, I 1444 01:26:33,249 --> 01:26:37,549 ♪ I have feelings that I can't explain 1445 01:26:38,373 --> 01:26:40,973 ♪ Drivin' me insane 1446 01:26:41,797 --> 01:26:45,197 ♪ All my life, been so polite 1447 01:26:45,221 --> 01:26:48,221 ♪ But I'll sleep alone tonight 1448 01:26:48,445 --> 01:26:50,345 ♪ 'Cause I'm just Ken 1449 01:26:50,369 --> 01:26:53,669 ♪ Anywhere else I'd be a ten 1450 01:26:53,693 --> 01:27:01,793 ♪ Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blonde fragility? 1451 01:27:02,417 --> 01:27:04,017 ♪ I'm just Ken 1452 01:27:04,041 --> 01:27:07,141 ♪ Where I see love, she sees a friend 1453 01:27:07,465 --> 01:27:11,453 ♪ What will it take for her to see the man 1454 01:27:11,477 --> 01:27:15,265 ♪ behind the tan and fight for me? 1455 01:27:29,966 --> 01:27:34,099 I'll see you on the Malibu Beach! 1456 01:27:48,731 --> 01:27:52,904 You can Ken, you can Ken, you can Ken... 1457 01:28:18,977 --> 01:28:20,977 And now they destroy themselves 1458 01:28:21,364 --> 01:28:24,342 You know what I think, I think we should put our fricken Constitution back 1459 01:28:24,868 --> 01:28:26,268 - Yes! - Yes! 1460 01:28:32,631 --> 01:28:34,620 This is a real hornet's nest in here 1461 01:28:35,186 --> 01:28:36,536 Watch your flank! 1462 01:28:38,831 --> 01:28:40,631 - I got shot - Impossible! 1463 01:28:41,431 --> 01:28:43,281 - Are there real weapons here? - No 1464 01:28:43,905 --> 01:28:46,905 ♪ I wanna know what’s like to love 1465 01:28:47,129 --> 01:28:49,329 ♪ To be the real thing 1466 01:28:50,453 --> 01:28:56,753 ♪ Is it a crime? Am I not hot when I’m in my feelings? 1467 01:28:56,777 --> 01:29:03,877 ♪ And is my moment finally here or am I dreaming? 1468 01:29:04,301 --> 01:29:07,601 ♪ I’m no dreamer 1469 01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:50,025 ♪ Ken! 1470 01:29:54,749 --> 01:29:55,749 ♪ Ken! 1471 01:30:00,374 --> 01:30:04,174 ♪ Can you feel Ken-ergy? 1472 01:30:05,998 --> 01:30:06,998 ♪ Ken! 1473 01:30:11,022 --> 01:30:14,722 ♪ They are, you are, we are 1474 01:30:14,746 --> 01:30:16,646 ♪ I’m just Ken 1475 01:30:16,670 --> 01:30:19,170 ♪ Anywhere else I'd be a ten 1476 01:30:19,894 --> 01:30:27,994 ♪ Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blonde fragility? 1477 01:30:28,518 --> 01:30:30,118 ♪ I’m just Ken 1478 01:30:30,142 --> 01:30:33,142 ♪ Where I see love, she sees a friend 1479 01:30:33,666 --> 01:30:37,454 ♪ What will it take for her to see the man 1480 01:30:37,478 --> 01:30:42,166 ♪ behind the tan and fight for me? 1481 01:30:42,190 --> 01:30:43,490 ♪ I’m just Ken 1482 01:30:43,514 --> 01:30:45,514 ♪ And I’m enough 1483 01:30:45,738 --> 01:30:48,638 ♪ And I’m great at doing stuff 1484 01:30:49,362 --> 01:30:54,062 ♪ So, hey, check me out, yeah, I’m just Ken 1485 01:30:55,686 --> 01:30:57,086 ♪ My name's Ken 1486 01:30:57,110 --> 01:30:59,110 ♪ And so am I 1487 01:30:59,334 --> 01:31:02,834 ♪ Put that manly hand in mine 1488 01:31:03,258 --> 01:31:07,858 ♪ So, hey world, check me out, yeah I’m just Ken 1489 01:31:09,782 --> 01:31:16,782 ♪ Baby, I’m just Ken ♪ Nobody else, nobody else, I'm just Ken! 1490 01:31:17,306 --> 01:31:19,320 - Ken! - Huh? Yeah? 1491 01:31:19,440 --> 01:31:21,790 - Aren't we supposed to vote today? - What? 1492 01:31:22,051 --> 01:31:25,123 - To change the Constitution - That was today, wasn't it? 1493 01:31:30,957 --> 01:31:32,972 Okay ladies, let's do this! 1494 01:31:33,092 --> 01:31:36,372 All those in favor of letting Barbie Land, be Barbie Land... 1495 01:31:36,832 --> 01:31:37,840 ...say "I" 1496 01:31:37,864 --> 01:31:39,864 I! 1497 01:31:53,294 --> 01:31:54,894 I'm so happy 1498 01:31:55,475 --> 01:31:57,386 Go, Barbie! Go, Barbie! 1499 01:31:57,410 --> 01:31:59,321 Go, Barbie! Go, Barbie! 1500 01:32:14,016 --> 01:32:15,520 Is it just my imagination... 1501 01:32:15,544 --> 01:32:17,982 Or do these Mojo Dojo Casa Houses... 1502 01:32:17,983 --> 01:32:19,583 ...just get dreamier? 1503 01:32:20,710 --> 01:32:23,207 That's because they're dreamhouses, mother------ 1504 01:32:23,667 --> 01:32:27,874 That's right, we've reinstated the Barbie Land Constitution to what it should be 1505 01:32:27,994 --> 01:32:31,296 And restored all the Barbies' brains and autonomy 1506 01:32:35,257 --> 01:32:37,628 And we seriously disinfected those houses 1507 01:32:37,748 --> 01:32:38,798 What do we do? 1508 01:32:40,886 --> 01:32:42,081 Kens?! 1509 01:32:44,055 --> 01:32:45,355 Who are we attacking, sir? 1510 01:32:45,379 --> 01:32:47,979 No 1511 01:32:48,403 --> 01:32:49,503 No! 1512 01:32:53,085 --> 01:32:54,430 Don't look at me! 1513 01:32:55,994 --> 01:32:56,844 Is he crying? 1514 01:32:57,493 --> 01:32:59,193 Just... give us a minute. 1515 01:33:04,834 --> 01:33:05,634 Ken? 1516 01:33:08,732 --> 01:33:11,457 - Are you ok? - Yeah. Totally 1517 01:33:11,739 --> 01:33:13,499 It's okay if you're crying. You know, I 1518 01:33:13,523 --> 01:33:15,655 cried too and it's actually kind of amazing 1519 01:33:15,775 --> 01:33:18,216 I'm a liberated man, I don't cry, he's not weak 1520 01:33:18,336 --> 01:33:19,336 Okay... 1521 01:33:21,919 --> 01:33:23,469 Do you want to sit up for a minute? 1522 01:33:30,609 --> 01:33:32,209 It was hard running stuff 1523 01:33:33,370 --> 01:33:34,570 I didn't love it 1524 01:33:36,337 --> 01:33:37,437 I get it 1525 01:33:41,749 --> 01:33:44,205 And those mini fridges are so small 1526 01:33:44,788 --> 01:33:46,256 You can only fit a six pack in there 1527 01:33:46,280 --> 01:33:49,048 and the freezers are basically useless 1528 01:33:51,215 --> 01:33:54,299 To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn't about horses 1529 01:33:54,419 --> 01:33:56,055 I had lost interest anyway 1530 01:33:57,286 --> 01:33:58,436 That's okay 1531 01:34:03,773 --> 01:34:06,418 I always thought this would be our house 1532 01:34:09,242 --> 01:34:10,242 Oh... 1533 01:34:13,530 --> 01:34:14,330 Ken... 1534 01:34:16,810 --> 01:34:18,785 I think I owe you an apology 1535 01:34:19,563 --> 01:34:21,763 I'm really sorry I took you for granted 1536 01:34:24,197 --> 01:34:26,997 Not every night had to be Girl's Night 1537 01:34:30,298 --> 01:34:32,098 Thank you for saying that 1538 01:34:33,299 --> 01:34:34,299 Thank you 1539 01:34:36,466 --> 01:34:39,115 Oh, I didn't mean suggest...uhh 1540 01:34:39,571 --> 01:34:41,721 I just don't know who I am without you 1541 01:34:43,652 --> 01:34:44,923 You're Ken 1542 01:34:46,288 --> 01:34:48,800 But it's "Barbie... and Ken" 1543 01:34:50,873 --> 01:34:53,141 There is no just Ken 1544 01:34:54,530 --> 01:34:56,080 That's why I was created 1545 01:34:56,788 --> 01:34:58,186 I only exist... 1546 01:34:59,970 --> 01:35:02,004 within the warmth of your gaze 1547 01:35:03,274 --> 01:35:04,424 Without it... 1548 01:35:05,616 --> 01:35:09,391 i'm just an another blonde guy who can't do flips 1549 01:35:18,376 --> 01:35:23,009 Maybe it's time to discover who Ken is. 1550 01:35:23,734 --> 01:35:25,484 Ok, I think I get it now 1551 01:35:26,115 --> 01:35:28,578 No no no no no, this isn't the answer 1552 01:35:32,015 --> 01:35:33,415 I feel so stupid 1553 01:35:34,469 --> 01:35:36,121 I look so stupid 1554 01:35:36,977 --> 01:35:39,616 I look so stupid! 1555 01:35:39,736 --> 01:35:41,850 - No! - You look cool! You look so cool! 1556 01:35:43,151 --> 01:35:47,296 Okay Ken, you have to figure out who you are without me 1557 01:35:49,119 --> 01:35:51,627 - Why? - You're not your girlfriend 1558 01:35:52,018 --> 01:35:54,580 You're not your house, you're not your mink 1559 01:35:55,181 --> 01:35:58,124 - Beach; - Nope, you're not even beach 1560 01:35:59,156 --> 01:36:01,248 Maybe all the things that you thought 1561 01:36:01,727 --> 01:36:03,838 made you you aren't... 1562 01:36:05,124 --> 01:36:07,060 ...really you. 1563 01:36:11,764 --> 01:36:14,384 Maybe it's Barbie and... 1564 01:36:16,374 --> 01:36:17,974 It's Ken 1565 01:36:21,214 --> 01:36:22,114 Ken... 1566 01:36:23,374 --> 01:36:24,274 is... 1567 01:36:26,264 --> 01:36:27,710 - ...me? - Yes! 1568 01:36:28,072 --> 01:36:30,506 Ken is me 1569 01:36:32,291 --> 01:36:33,641 And I'm Barbie 1570 01:36:36,774 --> 01:36:37,574 Ken... 1571 01:36:39,609 --> 01:36:40,899 ...is me! 1572 01:36:41,019 --> 01:36:42,345 - Ken is me! - Ken is me! 1573 01:36:42,369 --> 01:36:43,094 Ken is me! 1574 01:36:43,818 --> 01:36:46,552 I don't even care about being Ken anymore, I just miss my friend Barbie 1575 01:36:46,672 --> 01:36:48,222 - That's cool - Barbie. Barbie! 1576 01:36:48,476 --> 01:36:49,476 I'm right here 1577 01:36:50,119 --> 01:36:50,919 Ken! 1578 01:36:55,638 --> 01:36:57,457 I want you to have it 1579 01:36:59,334 --> 01:37:00,384 It's nice 1580 01:37:07,838 --> 01:37:10,688 We were only fighting because we didn't know who we were 1581 01:37:12,764 --> 01:37:14,643 Ken is... 1582 01:37:15,407 --> 01:37:17,408 ME! 1583 01:37:26,343 --> 01:37:27,693 Ken is right 1584 01:37:27,942 --> 01:37:30,416 It's just so hard to be a leader 1585 01:37:30,650 --> 01:37:32,664 - You know... - That's... my boss 1586 01:37:34,566 --> 01:37:35,466 Midge. 1587 01:37:36,756 --> 01:37:38,456 I thought we discontinued her 1588 01:37:40,452 --> 01:37:42,599 Look, you know how many times 1589 01:37:43,296 --> 01:37:45,417 I've wanted to stand up in a boardmeeting 1590 01:37:45,537 --> 01:37:47,945 and just say "can we just tickle each other?" 1591 01:37:48,448 --> 01:37:51,408 - Really? - Let's have a company retreat and just tickle each other! 1592 01:37:51,528 --> 01:37:53,091 Someone get me. Someone get me 1593 01:37:55,665 --> 01:37:57,367 I love being tickled 1594 01:37:57,749 --> 01:38:00,239 No no no no no no. Don't hug me 1595 01:38:03,320 --> 01:38:04,670 But thanks to Barbies, 1596 01:38:04,972 --> 01:38:09,107 I too can now relieve myself of this heavy existential burden while 1597 01:38:09,227 --> 01:38:12,177 holding onto the very real title of CEO 1598 01:38:12,899 --> 01:38:17,021 And we can restore everything in Barbie Land to exactly the way it was 1599 01:38:17,141 --> 01:38:18,991 - Mr. Mattel... - Please 1600 01:38:19,512 --> 01:38:21,582 - Call me mother - No thank you 1601 01:38:22,067 --> 01:38:25,189 I don't think that things should go back to the way that they were 1602 01:38:25,309 --> 01:38:29,156 No Barbie or Ken should be living in the shadows 1603 01:38:29,550 --> 01:38:30,650 Or Alan 1604 01:38:31,644 --> 01:38:33,126 - Hey - Yeah 1605 01:38:34,008 --> 01:38:36,033 - Hello - I just want to say I'm sorry... 1606 01:38:36,153 --> 01:38:39,033 we called you Weird Barbie behind your back and also to your face 1607 01:38:39,153 --> 01:38:41,203 It's okay. I'm owning it 1608 01:38:41,323 --> 01:38:43,115 Would you like a job in my Cabinet? 1609 01:38:43,416 --> 01:38:45,266 May I please have Sanitation? 1610 01:38:46,437 --> 01:38:48,730 - It's yours! - Yeah, uh, thank you 1611 01:38:48,850 --> 01:38:50,550 - Alright - Madame President 1612 01:38:51,411 --> 01:38:53,795 Please may the Kens have one Supreme Court justice? 1613 01:38:53,915 --> 01:38:55,428 Oh, I can't do that 1614 01:38:55,863 --> 01:38:58,402 But maybe a lower circuit court judgeship... 1615 01:38:58,422 --> 01:39:00,330 We accept! As long as we can wear robes 1616 01:39:00,450 --> 01:39:02,507 Well the Kens have to start somewhere 1617 01:39:02,627 --> 01:39:07,009 And one day the Kens will have as much power and influence in Barbie Land 1618 01:39:07,129 --> 01:39:09,557 As women have in the Real World 1619 01:39:09,677 --> 01:39:10,797 I don't want to... 1620 01:39:10,917 --> 01:39:12,227 - Just go! - I can't! 1621 01:39:12,347 --> 01:39:14,435 - Grow up and go - I have an idea 1622 01:39:15,433 --> 01:39:17,110 Tell me your secret dream, child 1623 01:39:17,230 --> 01:39:19,530 Okay, what about Ordinary Barbie? 1624 01:39:20,475 --> 01:39:22,214 She's not extraordinary. She's... 1625 01:39:22,238 --> 01:39:24,349 not president of anything. Or maybe she is 1626 01:39:24,469 --> 01:39:26,787 Maybe she's a mom, maybe she's not 1627 01:39:26,907 --> 01:39:29,945 Because it's okay, to just want to be a mom 1628 01:39:30,065 --> 01:39:32,415 or to want to President, or a mom who is President 1629 01:39:32,439 --> 01:39:34,345 or not a mom who is also not President 1630 01:39:34,469 --> 01:39:36,353 She just has a flattering top 1631 01:39:36,473 --> 01:39:40,373 And she wants to get through the day feeling kind of good about herself 1632 01:39:42,813 --> 01:39:43,663 That's a... 1633 01:39:44,007 --> 01:39:46,218 - ...terrible idea - Yeah, that's going to make money 1634 01:39:46,408 --> 01:39:48,550 Oh, Ordinary Barbie, I love it! 1635 01:39:49,170 --> 01:39:50,220 Fantastic. 1636 01:39:51,049 --> 01:39:52,281 - Great - Great 1637 01:39:52,401 --> 01:39:53,652 - Cool - Yeah 1638 01:39:54,052 --> 01:39:55,402 I think we're good, right? 1639 01:39:55,939 --> 01:39:59,389 Alright, let's begin the work to close the portal between our two worlds 1640 01:40:01,282 --> 01:40:03,353 - And about Barbie? -What do you mean? 1641 01:40:05,171 --> 01:40:06,357 What's her ending? 1642 01:40:06,794 --> 01:40:08,044 What does she get? 1643 01:40:09,965 --> 01:40:10,915 Well that's easy 1644 01:40:10,976 --> 01:40:12,426 She in love with Ken 1645 01:40:13,067 --> 01:40:14,590 That is not her ending 1646 01:40:16,633 --> 01:40:18,261 I'm not in love with Ken 1647 01:40:18,955 --> 01:40:19,955 What do you want? 1648 01:40:21,874 --> 01:40:23,150 I don't know... I'm... 1649 01:40:25,453 --> 01:40:28,143 I'm not really sure where I belong anymore 1650 01:40:33,052 --> 01:40:34,878 I don't think I have an ending 1651 01:40:34,998 --> 01:40:36,748 That was always the point 1652 01:40:37,235 --> 01:40:40,236 I created you so you wouldn't have an ending 1653 01:40:41,854 --> 01:40:42,837 It's you 1654 01:40:45,438 --> 01:40:46,917 You're Ruth from Mattel 1655 01:40:47,717 --> 01:40:49,700 Baby, I am Mattel 1656 01:40:50,222 --> 01:40:52,954 Until the IRS got to me, but that's another movie 1657 01:40:53,074 --> 01:40:55,018 - So you're... - Ruth Handler 1658 01:40:55,439 --> 01:40:57,189 Inventory of Barbie 1659 01:40:58,654 --> 01:40:59,688 That's so cool 1660 01:40:59,848 --> 01:41:02,179 Her ghost keeps an office on the 17th floor 1661 01:41:02,299 --> 01:41:03,237 - What? - What? 1662 01:41:03,357 --> 01:41:08,114 You guys, do you think the lady who invented Barbie looks like Barbie? 1663 01:41:08,697 --> 01:41:13,422 I'm a 5 foot nothing grandma with a double mastectomy and tax evasion issues 1664 01:41:14,055 --> 01:41:16,205 Nobody looks like Barbie 1665 01:41:16,705 --> 01:41:19,777 Except, of course, Barbie. Take a bow down, honey 1666 01:41:22,229 --> 01:41:24,854 I don't really feel like Barbie anymore 1667 01:41:29,085 --> 01:41:30,585 Come. Walk with me 1668 01:41:50,940 --> 01:41:52,090 Thank you 1669 01:41:53,919 --> 01:41:55,519 Thank you, Barbie 1670 01:41:57,342 --> 01:41:58,342 Thank you 1671 01:42:08,188 --> 01:42:10,028 I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do now 1672 01:42:10,036 --> 01:42:13,449 I've always been Stereotypical Barbie and... 1673 01:42:14,176 --> 01:42:16,116 and don't think I'm really good at anything else 1674 01:42:16,371 --> 01:42:20,314 - You saved Barbie Land from patriarchy - That was very much a group effort 1675 01:42:21,208 --> 01:42:23,472 And you helped that mother and daughter connect 1676 01:42:24,175 --> 01:42:25,725 They really helped each other 1677 01:42:27,131 --> 01:42:29,266 Maybe you're Self-Effacing Barbie? 1678 01:42:31,478 --> 01:42:33,478 Maybe I'm not Barbie anymore 1679 01:42:42,717 --> 01:42:46,172 You understand that humans only have one end 1680 01:42:46,562 --> 01:42:48,262 Ideas live forever 1681 01:42:48,732 --> 01:42:50,282 Humans not so much 1682 01:42:50,765 --> 01:42:52,065 You know that, right? 1683 01:42:52,302 --> 01:42:53,102 I do 1684 01:42:53,415 --> 01:42:55,970 Being human can be pretty uncomfortable 1685 01:42:57,818 --> 01:42:58,718 I know. 1686 01:42:59,137 --> 01:43:03,002 People make up things like the patriarchy and Barbie... 1687 01:43:03,576 --> 01:43:06,263 just to deal with how uncomfortable it is 1688 01:43:07,075 --> 01:43:08,325 I understand that 1689 01:43:08,800 --> 01:43:10,248 And then you die 1690 01:43:12,400 --> 01:43:13,200 Yeah 1691 01:43:15,448 --> 01:43:16,248 Yeah 1692 01:43:23,298 --> 01:43:26,764 I want to be part of the people... 1693 01:43:27,420 --> 01:43:29,020 that make meaning 1694 01:43:30,714 --> 01:43:32,317 Not the thing that's made 1695 01:43:35,257 --> 01:43:38,063 I want to do the imagining. I don't want to be the idea 1696 01:43:38,326 --> 01:43:39,476 Does that makes sense? 1697 01:43:40,417 --> 01:43:44,932 I always knew that Barbie would surprise me, but I never expected this 1698 01:43:45,721 --> 01:43:47,238 Do you give me permission to... 1699 01:43:48,255 --> 01:43:49,605 become human? 1700 01:43:50,372 --> 01:43:53,445 - You don't need my permission - But you're the Creator, you... 1701 01:43:54,572 --> 01:43:55,872 Don't you control me? 1702 01:43:55,992 --> 01:44:00,022 I can't control you, anymore than I can control my own daughter 1703 01:44:00,939 --> 01:44:03,311 I named you after her: Barbara 1704 01:44:03,631 --> 01:44:06,731 And I always hoped for you, like I hoped for her 1705 01:44:08,328 --> 01:44:11,048 We mothers stand still so our daughters 1706 01:44:11,168 --> 01:44:14,279 can look back and see how far they've come 1707 01:44:19,352 --> 01:44:21,859 So being human's not something I need to... 1708 01:44:22,836 --> 01:44:24,036 ask for? Or... 1709 01:44:25,298 --> 01:44:26,948 even want? I can just... 1710 01:44:28,830 --> 01:44:30,976 It's something I just discover I am? 1711 01:44:33,340 --> 01:44:35,331 I can't in good conscience let you take 1712 01:44:35,355 --> 01:44:37,779 this leap without you knowing what it means 1713 01:44:41,856 --> 01:44:43,105 Take my hands 1714 01:44:50,083 --> 01:44:51,567 Now, close your eyes... 1715 01:45:02,102 --> 01:45:03,448 Now, feel 1716 01:46:35,282 --> 01:46:39,833 So Barbie left behind the pastels and plastics of Barbie Land... 1717 01:46:39,953 --> 01:46:42,600 for the pastels and plastics of Los Angeles 1718 01:46:42,998 --> 01:46:45,144 Okay. Thanks for the lift 1719 01:46:46,033 --> 01:46:48,310 - You've got this - I'm really proud of you 1720 01:46:48,634 --> 01:46:52,234 Estoy muy orguoso de ti 1721 01:46:52,258 --> 01:46:53,858 Orgu-LLO-so 1722 01:46:53,882 --> 01:46:55,882 Orgulloso 1723 01:46:55,906 --> 01:46:57,316 Orgulloso de ti 1724 01:46:57,340 --> 01:46:58,906 There you go. Close enough 1725 01:46:59,279 --> 01:47:01,383 You guys are the best. Thank you. 1726 01:47:01,407 --> 01:47:02,407 Okay! 1727 01:47:04,067 --> 01:47:04,867 Sí se puede! 1728 01:47:04,892 --> 01:47:07,756 - That's a political statement - That's appropriation, Dad 1729 01:47:09,169 --> 01:47:10,590 We'll be here when you're done 1730 01:47:12,611 --> 01:47:13,892 We love you! 1731 01:47:22,981 --> 01:47:23,981 Hi 1732 01:47:24,463 --> 01:47:25,963 - Name? - Oh, um 1733 01:47:26,188 --> 01:47:28,967 Handler, Barbara 1734 01:47:31,085 --> 01:47:32,783 And what are you here for today, Barbara? 1735 01:47:34,713 --> 01:47:36,713 I'm here to see my gynecologist 1736 01:47:37,305 --> 01:48:37,734 api.OpenSubtitles.org is deprecated, please implement REST API from OpenSubtitles.com 130381