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1
00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:03,450
Ooh, no table.
2
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,510
- Hello, Josh.
- Hello, Alex.
3
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,530
"Sing along to the
Taskmaster theme tune."
4
00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:16,280
"Most powerful and
champion-like wins."
5
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:17,660
"Your time starts now."
6
00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:19,480
Absolutely my worst nightmare.
7
00:00:20,260 --> 00:00:21,605
[Alex] Are you ready?
8
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,550
♪ Rrrrrump! ♪
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00:00:23,550 --> 00:00:26,400
♪ Buh, buh, buh, buhh ♪
10
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,000
♪ Buh, duh, buh, buh ♪
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00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,800
♪ Buh, buh, buh, buhh ♪
12
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,330
♪ Buhh, buh, buh, baoww ♪
13
00:00:34,330 --> 00:00:37,260
♪ Bah, buh, bah, baoww ♪
14
00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:39,910
♪ Buh, buh, buh, boohhh ♪
15
00:00:39,910 --> 00:00:42,620
♪ Buh, buh, buh, baoww ♪
16
00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:44,370
♪ Buh, buh, buh, boop ♪
17
00:00:44,370 --> 00:00:47,040
♪ Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup! ♪
18
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,010
♪ Bowwww ♪
19
00:00:50,660 --> 00:00:58,100
[cheers and applause]
20
00:00:58,910 --> 00:01:01,040
Hello! Thank you, thank you.
21
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,400
I'm Greg Davies and welcome,
ladies and gentlemen,
22
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,310
to the Taskmaster
Champion of Champions!
23
00:01:06,310 --> 00:01:10,040
[cheers and applause]
24
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,310
This is it. The final showdown.
25
00:01:13,310 --> 00:01:16,570
Soon we'll find out which of our
champions has proven they are
26
00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:21,080
the one and only competitor worthy of
the Champion of Champions title.
27
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,710
Let's get on with it, shall we?
28
00:01:22,710 --> 00:01:24,310
[cheers and applause]
29
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Here for your entertainment,
awe and pity, are...
30
00:01:27,910 --> 00:01:29,505
Bob Mortimer!
31
00:01:29,505 --> 00:01:31,505
Josh Widdicombe!
32
00:01:31,505 --> 00:01:33,750
Katherine Ryan!
33
00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,350
Noel Fielding!
34
00:01:35,350 --> 00:01:36,960
And Rob Beckett!
35
00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:43,230
And next to me, hanging on my every word like a rabid little puppy...
36
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,510
[high-pitched] It's little Alex Horne!
37
00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:49,820
[cheers and applause]
38
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,440
Anything to say for yourself?
39
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,800
I, uh, I look nice. I've done my hair.
40
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,970
I've made it wet and straightened it.
41
00:01:55,970 --> 00:01:58,860
And I've done my teeth, I've
had the worst one removed.
42
00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:00,310
- [laughter]
- That's good.
43
00:02:00,310 --> 00:02:01,910
Like the film stars.
44
00:02:01,910 --> 00:02:03,260
[laughter]
45
00:02:03,260 --> 00:02:05,110
It's an exciting day. I've got some...
46
00:02:05,110 --> 00:02:07,040
In case it all kicks off,
I've got some...
47
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,060
some safety party poppers.
48
00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:10,330
So they're just normal party poppers,
49
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:13,170
but I've taped a sandwich
bag around it to collect...
50
00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:15,150
- [laughter]
- ...the insides.
51
00:02:15,150 --> 00:02:16,820
To protect your eyes and limbs.
52
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:17,970
- Do you want me to do one?
- Yes, please.
53
00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:18,910
OK.
54
00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:20,600
[laughter]
55
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,530
[faint pop]
56
00:02:21,530 --> 00:02:22,820
- [laughter]
- I took the bang out.
57
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- I took the bang out as well.
- Took the bang out as well, did you?
58
00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:27,240
[laughter]
59
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,420
OK, well, first, let's remind people,
60
00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:33,720
this is the second part of the
two-part champions special.
61
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,310
The first part was won
by Katherine Ryan.
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00:02:36,310 --> 00:02:39,200
[applause]
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00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,680
But anything could happen
this time round,
64
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,930
and for this final of the Champion
of Champions special, we thought
65
00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:46,840
we should create a super
tough prize category.
66
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,220
And by super tough, I mean vague,
67
00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:53,275
because we've asked them
to bring in the best thing.
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00:02:53,275 --> 00:02:56,280
- [laughter]
- Very vague, very vague.
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00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,400
Whoever's thing you deem
best will kick off the final
70
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,070
with five useful points, and
the winner of this episode
71
00:03:01,070 --> 00:03:03,930
will go home with five
of the best things ever.
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00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:06,460
OK, here we go. Let's start
the other end to last time.
73
00:03:06,460 --> 00:03:08,000
Rob Beckett, what have you brought in,
74
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,310
and why, Rob, why?
75
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:12,680
I've brought in Del Boy's ring.
76
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,440
- [audience gasps]
- Oooh.
77
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:18,110
I did a sitcom and the lady who
did all the wardrobe stuff,
78
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,420
her first job was on
Only Fools and Horses.
79
00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:22,620
And she, in her bag, had his ring.
80
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,620
And we got on well, and at the of it,
81
00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:27,370
as a present, she gave it to
me at the end of the episode.
82
00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:30,000
So I've got Del Boy's ring.
83
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:30,750
Yeah.
84
00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:32,240
[laughter]
85
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:33,370
Um, who's next?
86
00:03:33,370 --> 00:03:36,280
Noel, what have you brought in
and why's it so incredible?
87
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,530
It's the Kasabian boys
and they've composed
88
00:03:38,530 --> 00:03:41,880
a little song for the winner,
called "You're the Best Thing".
89
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,000
- OK.
- Here are the Kasabian boys.
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00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,800
♪ You're the best thing ♪
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00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,680
♪ You're the best thing ♪
92
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,600
♪ You're the best thing ♪
93
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,570
♪ You're the best thing, you're ♪
94
00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:53,500
♪ You're the best thing, you're ♪
95
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♪ You're the best thing, you're ♪
96
00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,270
♪ You're the best thing, you're ♪
97
00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:02,970
[laughter and applause]
98
00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:07,330
What an awful forum for the Kasabian
boys to lose their record contract.
99
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,910
[laughter]
100
00:04:08,910 --> 00:04:10,400
[Greg] Katherine?
101
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,970
Well, Romesh Ranganathan,
Taskmaster alumnus,
102
00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:20,710
he tweeted out his outrage when an
embroidery artist called Alison
103
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:24,280
created a photo of him that
was less than flattering.
104
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:27,310
And I thought, it makes him
so angry, I've gotta buy it.
105
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:29,330
- It's spectacular.
- Oh, great.
106
00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:31,800
And then, just to really upset Romesh,
107
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:36,110
I made it into a jacket
emblazoned with the date
108
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:39,420
that he's doing quite an important gig at the Greek Theatre in LA.
109
00:04:39,420 --> 00:04:40,520
Here it is.
110
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[laughter]
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[Josh] Wow, that is amazing.
112
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:47,960
And look at his boobs!
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00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:52,330
[Greg] Because the actual head's
fairly accurate, isn't it?
114
00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:55,680
So, presumably, he has got one tit
in the middle of his chest.
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00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:56,440
[laughter]
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00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,550
[Alex] Josh?
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Are we not discussing the fact
118
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that you made me sing the theme tune
119
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under the guise that it was a
task everyone was doing?
120
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,880
We're gonna slip by that.
121
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,460
- So I don't even get a point?!
- Correct.
122
00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:11,220
Josh, when we did our series,
he made me paint his shed!
123
00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:13,170
[laughter]
124
00:05:13,170 --> 00:05:13,970
What did you bring in?
125
00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:17,750
I thought, "What thing in my
life is the most valuable?"
126
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,610
You know, so I thought...
127
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Well, my house.
128
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,800
[Alex] There we go.
129
00:05:24,310 --> 00:05:26,660
Now obviously I still need
to live in that house.
130
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,840
[laughter]
131
00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:30,265
But you can have the keys...
132
00:05:30,265 --> 00:05:32,570
You can come and go
as you please...
133
00:05:32,570 --> 00:05:33,950
Who else lives in the house?
134
00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:35,640
Er, my girlfriend and our baby.
135
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,530
[Rob] Oh. Pfffbt.
136
00:05:37,530 --> 00:05:38,450
So...
137
00:05:38,450 --> 00:05:39,840
[laughter]
138
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,400
- [Noel] Sounds like a cult.
- You are more than welcome to...
139
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,600
be part of the thing that
I think is the best.
140
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,150
My house and my family.
141
00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:48,600
[everyone] Aww.
142
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,840
I do put it on the chain from 11 p.m., so you will need to text ahead.
143
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:55,770
[laughter]
144
00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:58,130
Bob, you can steal this. I feel it.
145
00:05:58,130 --> 00:06:00,620
Well, I brought in my
best possession,
146
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:05,930
which is my broccoli rotation
and delivery unit.
147
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:08,220
[laughter]
148
00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:12,510
which I've used both to teach my kids
to fall in love with broccoli,
149
00:06:12,510 --> 00:06:14,850
and if you're having, like, a do.
150
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:18,020
The adults quite enjoy it as well.
151
00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:19,720
Best thing I've got, Greg.
152
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,840
[laughter]
153
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,420
It does move. Do you want
to see it in action, Greg?
154
00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:26,040
- Yes, please.
- OK, this is the broccoli...
155
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,550
I tell you now, it's...
it's right up there.
156
00:06:28,550 --> 00:06:37,620
[laughter]
157
00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:39,530
Oh, here he goes again.
158
00:06:39,530 --> 00:06:41,730
I would say it's quite similar
to the sausage dispenser
159
00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,410
you brought in earlier in the year.
160
00:06:43,410 --> 00:06:45,040
You've got that right.
161
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,800
But it's a completely
different purpose.
162
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,370
Alright, then. Five things.
163
00:06:49,370 --> 00:06:50,710
- Yep.
- Which is the best?
164
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:53,800
In last place, sorry,
I just don't want to see
165
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,820
- a mid-titted Romesh Ranganathan.
- Whoa!
166
00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:59,550
I'm gonna do a joint third place,
if that's alright.
167
00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:01,730
- OK, so for three points.
- Yeah.
168
00:07:01,730 --> 00:07:07,040
I think that an elephant with a piece
of broccoli on the end of it
169
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:10,610
is exactly as good as, um...
170
00:07:11,910 --> 00:07:14,310
- Josh Widdicombe's house and family.
- You absolute...!
171
00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:17,970
[laughter and applause]
172
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,700
And imagine if you were the
biggest band in the country,
173
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:23,150
and you were beaten
by Del Boy's ring.
174
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:26,150
But they're just pissing
around outside a toilet!
175
00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:28,720
That's what happened.
Noel is in second.
176
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,440
- [Alex] The winner of the task?
- [Greg] Beckett takes it.
177
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,080
There we go. Rob Beckett
gets five points.
178
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:35,400
[cheers and applause]
179
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,510
We're off. Hit me with a task that
really tested their mettle.
180
00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:39,610
Here we go.
181
00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:54,960
Hmm, briefcase.
182
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,160
Whoa, yep!
183
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,260
- [Alex] Hello there, Bob.
- Hello there.
184
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:04,170
[digital beeping]
185
00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:06,260
Wow, what does that mean?
186
00:08:08,510 --> 00:08:10,170
"What's in the case?"
187
00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:11,550
What's in the case?
188
00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:12,840
So it's locked.
189
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:17,480
"Your time starts..."
190
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:18,740
"...now."
191
00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:21,680
You know when you get a vibe that
something's not your bag?
192
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:22,780
What?!
193
00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:28,000
[applause]
194
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:28,930
Who are we gonna see first?
195
00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:30,510
Well, they've got to crack the code.
196
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,040
It's a three-digit number. There's
a thousand possibilities there.
197
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:36,170
We're gonna see Katherine
and Bob first of all.
198
00:08:36,170 --> 00:08:37,270
[Greg] Lovely.
199
00:08:38,370 --> 00:08:39,330
That number!
200
00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:40,460
No, it's an H.
201
00:08:41,330 --> 00:08:42,595
Um...
202
00:08:42,595 --> 00:08:44,205
[he groans]
203
00:08:44,205 --> 00:08:47,280
"How much rice is in the
drawer?" No way.
204
00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:50,130
Could be a long 'un, lads.
205
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,370
Buckle down. [he laughs]
206
00:08:52,370 --> 00:08:53,980
These are not real drawers.
207
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,730
- [laughter]
- These are painted-on drawers.
208
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,600
I mean, I'm at a loss here, uh...
209
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,020
Why can't, if there was a drawer,
I'd be able to see it...
210
00:09:05,330 --> 00:09:08,550
200,000 divided by 40.
211
00:09:08,550 --> 00:09:11,020
Equals... I don't fucking know.
212
00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:13,000
[he laughs]
213
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,080
[frustrated noise]
214
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,440
Drawer!
215
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:16,540
[Alex] Pineapple.
216
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,660
Oh, my fucking God!
217
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,110
What is real?!
218
00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:22,530
And there's rice in there.
219
00:09:22,530 --> 00:09:24,310
[laughing] Oh, no!
220
00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:26,650
It's probably bloody written
somewhere, innit?
221
00:09:27,930 --> 00:09:30,430
[audience groans]
222
00:09:31,350 --> 00:09:34,780
60... 62...
223
00:09:34,780 --> 00:09:37,740
64... 66...
224
00:09:43,370 --> 00:09:45,480
[laughter]
225
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,420
If it isn't that, that's great.
226
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,080
[he laughs]
227
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,800
98, 99, 200...
228
00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:54,350
Are there 201...?
229
00:09:54,350 --> 00:09:56,110
Yep, yep, yep!
230
00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:57,210
It is!
231
00:09:59,510 --> 00:10:01,850
I hope it's sweets.
232
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:04,820
Frozen peas.
233
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:06,240
Frozen peas.
234
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,930
[applause]
235
00:10:07,930 --> 00:10:10,400
Katherine, it was just drawers
all the way for you.
236
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,600
I was worried that, like, the
British had a different...
237
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,040
'cause we don't say wardrobe,
we say closet.
238
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,930
So I was thinking, "Maybe drawers
means a pineapple."
239
00:10:18,930 --> 00:10:22,310
[laughter]
240
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:23,370
Want to know how long she took?
241
00:10:23,370 --> 00:10:24,930
201... Yes I do, please.
242
00:10:24,930 --> 00:10:26,600
Well, it was five minutes,
243
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,680
and four minutes, and three
minutes, and two minutes,
244
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:29,680
so 14 minutes.
245
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,170
[laughter]
246
00:10:31,170 --> 00:10:32,620
And three seconds.
247
00:10:32,620 --> 00:10:33,640
Lovely.
248
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:37,760
Bob, I believe that the first conclusion that Einstein reached was
249
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:39,450
E equals I don't fucking know.
250
00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:41,460
[laughter]
251
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,460
One thing Bob said during it was that he'd had his maths removed from his anus.
252
00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:48,020
[laughter]
253
00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:52,660
How long till Bob used his brain and found your little ticker tape?
254
00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:55,800
He found my ticker tape in
seven minutes 42 seconds.
255
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,150
Ooh.
256
00:10:57,150 --> 00:10:58,460
OK, time for some ads,
257
00:10:58,460 --> 00:11:00,060
or adverts, or advertising,
258
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,150
whatever you wanna call it.
259
00:11:01,150 --> 00:11:03,850
See you 201 seconds.
260
00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:16,045
Good morning.
261
00:11:16,045 --> 00:11:19,260
Welcome back to Taskmaster
Champion of Champions.
262
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:20,600
What have people missed, Alex?
263
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,570
Oh, just some really top-level
entertainment television, Greg.
264
00:11:23,570 --> 00:11:27,350
The champions were trying to work out
a code to crack open a briefcase.
265
00:11:27,350 --> 00:11:29,800
We've seen two of the contestants
find some of the clues.
266
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,370
Next up, it's Josh Widdicombe.
267
00:11:31,370 --> 00:11:33,950
Do you want to see if his technique reflects his personality?
268
00:11:33,950 --> 00:11:35,275
- Yes, please.
- OK.
269
00:11:35,275 --> 00:11:38,970
So 200,000 divided by 40.
270
00:11:38,970 --> 00:11:40,270
Equals X.
271
00:11:40,270 --> 00:11:42,260
So 5,000...
272
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:44,420
minus...
273
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,910
What the f... I mean, what?!
274
00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:48,530
This is just maths.
275
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:52,440
How is that a TV show?
276
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,855
No offence to Countdown.
277
00:11:54,855 --> 00:11:57,510
So 5,000...
278
00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:59,240
minus ten...
279
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,320
So that's 4,900...
280
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,530
...divided by...
281
00:12:03,530 --> 00:12:05,260
0.25...
282
00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:07,080
2,005... plus ten...
283
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,555
...divided by...
284
00:12:08,555 --> 00:12:11,750
...times... four times 0.25...
285
00:12:13,130 --> 00:12:14,480
One.
286
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,820
So the answer is 201.
287
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,085
Oh!
288
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:19,480
[Josh gasps]
289
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:20,580
First one's off.
290
00:12:21,930 --> 00:12:23,445
Second one's not.
291
00:12:23,445 --> 00:12:24,980
Yes, it fucking is.
292
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:27,220
[laughter]
293
00:12:27,220 --> 00:12:32,030
- Peas. Frozen peas.
- [cheers and applause]
294
00:12:32,030 --> 00:12:33,480
It's really impressive.
295
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,970
Oh, thank you, 'cause I did it and then suddenly I was the dweeb.
296
00:12:36,970 --> 00:12:38,420
[laughter]
297
00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:40,310
I will have you know,
I am not a dweeb.
298
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:42,730
[laughter]
299
00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:44,860
I wasn't expecting it.
Were you expecting it?
300
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:45,800
Yes, I think so.
301
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,240
[laughter]
302
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,420
But he was very quick. I mean,
it was lots of difficult maths.
303
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,400
There were three equations
that all related to each other,
304
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,220
and he worked it out in five
minutes and 30 seconds.
305
00:12:54,220 --> 00:12:54,710
Wow!
306
00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:56,640
[applause]
307
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,060
Fastest so far. Blimey. Who's next?
308
00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:00,910
Now let's see series three champion
309
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,140
Rob Beckett give it a crack. Here we go.
310
00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:10,020
I could just keep shouting guesses.
311
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:10,600
[Alex] Mm-hm?
312
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,170
Water, rice...
313
00:13:12,170 --> 00:13:13,270
Pasta.
314
00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:15,640
Big block of something frozen.
315
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,060
Ice creams, lollies.
316
00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:19,240
Big block of ice, innit?
317
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:24,640
I don't know what's in it.
318
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:25,730
Erm...
319
00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:28,060
- [Alex] You can leave the room, obviously.
- Frozen peas.
320
00:13:28,060 --> 00:13:29,460
[audience gasps]
321
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:30,370
Oh, hello.
322
00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:33,150
[cheers and applause]
323
00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:34,420
Stopped, has it?
324
00:13:34,420 --> 00:13:35,640
[Alex] Well, I've stopped
the clock, yeah.
325
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,750
Why? It's a bit weird, innit?
326
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,870
[Alex] Well, it's fastest to
get the correct answer.
327
00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:42,000
It's frozen peas, innit?
328
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,400
- Brilliant. Thanks, Rob.
- No worries.
329
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:46,150
[cheers and applause]
330
00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:47,280
You've nailed it. Incredible.
331
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,660
It just sounded like peas, I dunno.
332
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:51,960
- That was absolutely amazing.
- Don't think, just do.
333
00:13:53,030 --> 00:13:53,750
What time?
334
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:57,680
Well, as we know, Josh worked
it out in five minutes 30.
335
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:01,130
Rob sussed it out in
five minutes 45.
336
00:14:01,130 --> 00:14:02,970
[everyone gasps]
337
00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:03,950
Oh, so close.
338
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:05,480
It's just, er, Noel.
339
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,370
Yes, we're gonna going form
guesswork to fieldwork.
340
00:14:07,370 --> 00:14:08,600
- Noel Fieldwork.
- [Greg] Fieldwork.
341
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,310
Noel Fielding-work. It doesn't
quite work. Here we go.
342
00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:14,540
"Your time... starts..."
343
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,060
"...now." A slipper?
344
00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:19,060
Um... [he laughs]
345
00:14:19,060 --> 00:14:20,440
Some cheese?
346
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,000
Er, a balaclava?
347
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,460
[Alex] I'll stop the clock
if you get it right.
348
00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:25,600
Er, a goalkeeping glove?
349
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,570
An anteater. A drawing
of an anteater.
350
00:14:28,570 --> 00:14:29,710
Some corks?
351
00:14:29,710 --> 00:14:32,040
- Tim Key?
- [Alex] I wish.
352
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,910
Can I smash this case to pieces?
353
00:14:33,910 --> 00:14:35,770
- [Alex] Do whatever you want.
- OK, see you later.
354
00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:37,640
[laughter]
355
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,940
[laughter]
356
00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:43,120
[laughter]
357
00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:45,950
I'm never gonna break this.
358
00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:47,670
Hammer! There's got to be a hammer.
359
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:53,160
[laughter]
360
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,340
Yes!
361
00:15:11,130 --> 00:15:13,000
[he laughs]
362
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,510
[Alex] What's in the case?
363
00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:15,880
Peas!
364
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,730
[applause]
365
00:15:18,730 --> 00:15:19,840
It's an incredible job.
366
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,710
You guessed the following things,
as far as I could work out:
367
00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:25,660
slipper, some goalkeeper's
gloves, some cheese,
368
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:28,110
an anteater, a picture of an anteater,
369
00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:30,200
and then went straight to,
"I'm gonna fuck this case up."
370
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:34,420
[laughter]
371
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:35,750
I thought, if it was an anteater,
372
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,060
I've got to get that guy out of there.
373
00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:42,400
[laughter]
374
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,480
Great. What, um...?
375
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:45,570
- The time?
- Yeah.
376
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,530
What's the time?
377
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:48,680
At the moment, Josh is in the
lead with five minutes 30.
378
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:49,240
[Greg] Yes.
379
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,170
Noel Fielding took 19 seconds...
380
00:15:52,170 --> 00:15:53,480
and three minutes.
381
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:54,660
[everyone gasps]
382
00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:55,600
He wins the task!
383
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,170
[cheers and applause]
384
00:15:59,170 --> 00:16:01,840
Can we see your messy little
scoreboard, please, Alex?
385
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,840
Of course we can. Well, thanks
to the two slender hammers,
386
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:07,930
we've got a new leader. Noel
Fielding's on nine points.
387
00:16:07,930 --> 00:16:11,950
[cheers and applause]
388
00:16:11,950 --> 00:16:15,060
Do you have another really testing
task for our former champions?
389
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:17,330
Well, this is what me and
the guys have been calling
390
00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:18,680
Face Off Bake Off.
391
00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:36,300
Hmm.
392
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,170
Head.
393
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,550
[Alex] Hello.
394
00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:39,280
Hello.
395
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:40,840
Oh! Argh!
396
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,650
[laughter]
397
00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:47,420
"Make a mask that tastes
delicious and looks great."
398
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:49,000
Totally in my wheelhouse.
399
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,020
"Your mask must be entirely
edible and entirely wearable."
400
00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:55,770
"You have ten minutes to plan your
mask and 20 minutes to make it."
401
00:16:55,770 --> 00:16:58,835
"You must then wear your mask
so that Alex can taste it."
402
00:16:58,835 --> 00:17:01,750
Je. Sus. Christ.
403
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:03,820
"Most delicious and great-
looking mask wins."
404
00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:05,150
I mean...
405
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:08,380
Noel Fielding is the
fucking mask-maker.
406
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,500
I went to Venice recently.
They had some good masks there.
407
00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:15,895
First instinct's
omelette on the head.
408
00:17:15,895 --> 00:17:18,170
I am so good at making masks.
409
00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:21,510
You couldn't know how unfair
this is on the other people.
410
00:17:21,510 --> 00:17:22,970
I'll get some Skittles.
411
00:17:22,970 --> 00:17:25,250
And some... some Wotsits.
412
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:28,660
The cheaper the Wotsit,
the greater the adhesion.
413
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:30,370
I need a large watermelon.
414
00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:31,730
Hundreds and thousands.
415
00:17:31,730 --> 00:17:33,550
Some hundreds and thousands.
416
00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:35,910
This is gonna be so good, man.
417
00:17:35,910 --> 00:17:38,640
Those long shoestring,
like, chewy candies.
418
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,370
Liquorice bootlaces.
419
00:17:40,370 --> 00:17:42,330
Who don't love a strawberry lace?
420
00:17:42,330 --> 00:17:44,200
Could I get all the different sweets?
421
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,530
[Alex] No.
422
00:17:45,530 --> 00:17:46,730
Spinach.
423
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:48,350
Who don't like strawberry jam?
424
00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:50,460
Some jam. Some red jams.
425
00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:51,600
[Alex] Jams?
426
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:55,260
Yes, I want a palette.
A palette of jams.
427
00:17:55,260 --> 00:18:00,480
[applause]
428
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,730
"First instinct, stick an
omelette on me head."
429
00:18:02,730 --> 00:18:04,910
[laughter]
430
00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:06,550
Who don't like omelettes?
431
00:18:06,550 --> 00:18:08,880
"The cheaper the Wotsit, the
greater the adhesion."
432
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,800
Mm-hm, it's very true.
433
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:11,900
Poetic.
434
00:18:12,690 --> 00:18:14,420
"I want a palette of jams."
435
00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:16,420
- [laughter]
- Fuckin' hell. Who's first?
436
00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:17,330
Well, there are a lot of...
437
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,480
A lot of confidence there
from these three.
438
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,600
Josh was less confident, but we're
gonna start with Katherine's,
439
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,640
'cause I'm very awkward around all
humans but particularly that gender.
440
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:25,950
[laughter]
441
00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:29,310
He can't even say women.
Isn't that awful?
442
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:31,950
I haven't decided yet whether that's what I am or not, so you're fine.
443
00:18:31,950 --> 00:18:34,330
Mm-hm... Oh, God. OK.
444
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,670
[laughter]
445
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,670
[laughter]
446
00:18:45,620 --> 00:18:47,330
[laughter]
447
00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:48,150
[Alex] Hello.
448
00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:49,330
Do you like it?
449
00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:50,000
Do I?
450
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,100
- Mm-hm?
- Yes.
451
00:18:52,110 --> 00:18:53,040
Nice skin.
452
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:53,860
Thank you.
453
00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:55,260
Um, which bit would you...
454
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:56,950
Which bit's the starter?
455
00:18:56,950 --> 00:18:59,930
Um, you like savoury, so you
could have a Wotsit eyebrow.
456
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,120
A Wotsit eyebrow.
457
00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:04,530
- Good?
- Mm-hm.
458
00:19:04,530 --> 00:19:06,010
Nice texture. Good flavour.
459
00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:07,750
- Lots of flavours.
- Mm-hm.
460
00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:09,570
Your eyes are... quite piercing.
461
00:19:09,570 --> 00:19:10,710
- Mm-hm.
- Mm-hm.
462
00:19:10,710 --> 00:19:14,280
I have also... My mask
includes head and hair.
463
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,680
Yeah, I might go for the hair next, is it?
464
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,050
- Delicious, right?
- Mm-hm.
465
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:23,260
- Your lips are... dripping a bit.
- Mm-hm.
466
00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:25,220
- [laughter]
- I guess I'll just eat one of your eyes?
467
00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:26,900
- And then we're done.
- Mm-hm.
468
00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:30,950
[laughter]
469
00:19:30,950 --> 00:19:32,150
Mmm.
470
00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:32,950
Nice.
471
00:19:32,950 --> 00:19:34,280
- Mm-hm.
- Very sweet.
472
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,040
Your mask tastes delicious,
thank you.
473
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:36,930
You're welcome.
474
00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:39,985
[applause]
475
00:19:39,985 --> 00:19:42,440
What most interested me is how
476
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,470
unamused you were throughout that.
477
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,640
I, uh, started to get really hot.
478
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:52,370
And then I felt kind of sick, so I just chose not to move or speak.
479
00:19:52,370 --> 00:19:55,150
- You looked really forlorn.
- So sad.
480
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:55,770
Yeah.
481
00:19:55,770 --> 00:19:57,820
It seemed like real low point for you.
482
00:19:57,820 --> 00:19:59,480
[laughter]
483
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,150
And it certainly was for Alex.
484
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:03,310
- [Katherine] Sorry, Alex.
- "Oh, your lips are melting."
485
00:20:03,310 --> 00:20:05,910
[laughter]
486
00:20:05,910 --> 00:20:08,880
Yeah, I didn't... I didn't go
near the lips in the end.
487
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:10,770
- I got a bit nervous.
- Did you contemplate it?
488
00:20:10,770 --> 00:20:13,910
Yes, it felt like hours of thinking,
"Do I...? Should I...?"
489
00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:16,170
What I found was quite weird,
he never ate off my face.
490
00:20:16,170 --> 00:20:17,200
I don't know about you lads.
491
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,910
[laughter]
492
00:20:19,910 --> 00:20:21,040
Do you want to see
Josh Widdicombe's?
493
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,620
- Yeah, who's next?
- Uh, Josh Widdicombe's.
494
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:24,520
- OK.
- [laughter]
495
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,980
[audience gasps]
496
00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:35,840
Hello, Josh.
497
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,530
- It's Alex, actually.
- Hello, Alex.
498
00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:40,580
- Would you like to kiss me?
- Pardon?
499
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:53,270
[laughter]
500
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,840
- Lovely tongue.
- Thank you.
501
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,105
[laughter]
502
00:20:59,105 --> 00:21:01,430
- [Josh snorting]
- [laughter]
503
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,480
- I'm gonna eat one of my eyes.
- [Josh giggling]
504
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,280
Oh, no!
505
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,950
[Josh giggles]
506
00:21:08,950 --> 00:21:10,950
Oh, I don't like it!
507
00:21:10,950 --> 00:21:13,910
- Bit of my hair and then we're done.
- No! Argh!
508
00:21:15,820 --> 00:21:19,680
[Josh laughs] Oh, God!
509
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:20,950
Oh, no!
510
00:21:20,950 --> 00:21:22,020
Thank you for that.
511
00:21:22,020 --> 00:21:24,080
[muffled] Oh... Thank you...
512
00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:26,220
Argh!
513
00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:28,970
[applause]
514
00:21:28,970 --> 00:21:31,515
You weren't at all uncomfortable
there, were you?
515
00:21:31,515 --> 00:21:34,010
It was quite an intense experience.
516
00:21:34,950 --> 00:21:37,620
I felt a slight sense of
revenge, 'cause he was...
517
00:21:37,620 --> 00:21:39,220
trying to recreate my own face.
518
00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:40,830
Yeah, it looked exactly like you.
519
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,015
He said I had, "Sad eyes and
a thin little mouth."
520
00:21:44,015 --> 00:21:46,330
"An idiosyncratic medieval face."
521
00:21:46,330 --> 00:21:48,600
- [laughter]
- Tick, tick, tick, tick.
522
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,130
[laughter]
523
00:21:50,130 --> 00:21:52,130
That's the halfway point reached.
524
00:21:52,130 --> 00:21:53,870
Not long now until someone gains
525
00:21:53,870 --> 00:21:56,000
free access to Josh Widdicombe's house,
526
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,620
and I give my body away.
527
00:22:08,420 --> 00:22:09,950
Hi, hello, and hi.
528
00:22:09,950 --> 00:22:12,420
It's part three and we've
been luxuriating
529
00:22:12,420 --> 00:22:13,480
in a spot of face-eating.
530
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:14,860
We certainly have.
531
00:22:14,860 --> 00:22:17,540
Now I've eaten some pretty
tasty faces in my time,
532
00:22:17,540 --> 00:22:21,680
but tonight proves how champion-
worthy these competitors are.
533
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,840
Just Bob, Rob and Noel to gobble.
534
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,830
First, Rob Beckett and
Noel Fielding's attempt.
535
00:22:28,710 --> 00:22:30,630
[laughter]
536
00:22:35,770 --> 00:22:36,720
Hello, Noel.
537
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,020
[Noel] Hi, how are you?
538
00:22:38,020 --> 00:22:39,580
- Let's taste some mask.
- Yep.
539
00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:43,970
Mm, that's lovely.
540
00:22:43,970 --> 00:22:46,060
I'm gonna start off with the
Crunchy Nut Cornflake.
541
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:46,660
[Noel] OK.
542
00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:47,760
- Ready?
- Yeah.
543
00:22:48,570 --> 00:22:50,675
[laughter]
544
00:22:50,675 --> 00:22:52,800
Got a lot of seeds.
545
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,020
Mm-hm.
546
00:22:54,020 --> 00:22:55,860
It's so sinister.
547
00:22:55,860 --> 00:22:57,840
OK, I'm gonna go in for
the dessert now, Rob.
548
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,760
Yeah, yeah, so there's
pancakes up there.
549
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:03,020
Oh, that's... I feel vulnerable.
550
00:23:03,020 --> 00:23:04,600
Feels like brain surgery.
551
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,630
Yep, I felt that fork then.
552
00:23:06,630 --> 00:23:08,950
- Is that your head just there?
- Yeah, that's my brain.
553
00:23:08,950 --> 00:23:10,350
[laughter]
554
00:23:10,350 --> 00:23:12,370
- The old noggin.
- Mm, now that's lovely.
555
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,350
I'll eat the bridge of your
nose. You ready?
556
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,170
[Noel laughs]
557
00:23:19,170 --> 00:23:20,460
I'll have a little bit more.
558
00:23:20,460 --> 00:23:22,860
- Yeah, that is my hair.
- [Alex laughs]
559
00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:24,770
Just seen the hair.
The hair's poking through.
560
00:23:24,770 --> 00:23:26,510
Yeah, it will be, when you cut it.
561
00:23:26,510 --> 00:23:28,510
Your mask tastes delicious, Rob.
562
00:23:28,510 --> 00:23:31,910
Wow, I feel like a scarecrow
who's getting pecked.
563
00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,900
By a sort of red-headed
crow. [he laughs]
564
00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:36,300
In a good way?
565
00:23:36,300 --> 00:23:40,220
[applause]
566
00:23:40,220 --> 00:23:42,770
See, I made a mask, I didn't just
put it straight on my face.
567
00:23:42,770 --> 00:23:44,970
I think that's what...
I made a barrier...
568
00:23:44,970 --> 00:23:48,000
No, because it's meant to be
entirely edible and wearable.
569
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,620
Thank you, I was about to point
that out myself, Katherine.
570
00:23:49,620 --> 00:23:52,305
It's not supposed to have
gaffer tape in it.
571
00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:55,220
Very dangerous for a dolphin to eat.
572
00:23:55,220 --> 00:23:57,110
That's what I call Alex.
The dolphin.
573
00:23:57,110 --> 00:23:58,800
[laughter]
574
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,710
Rob, was it themed?
It looked like a sort of
575
00:24:00,710 --> 00:24:02,950
Northern, flat cap-wearing man.
576
00:24:02,950 --> 00:24:04,930
It's just supposed to be a
working man's lunch.
577
00:24:04,930 --> 00:24:05,530
[Greg] Right.
578
00:24:05,530 --> 00:24:08,480
- Yeah, but as a mask.
- But as a working man.
579
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,110
Yeah, yeah, so I had a
Yorkshire pudding starter,
580
00:24:12,110 --> 00:24:14,000
- left over from Sunday roast.
- [Greg] Oh, lovely.
581
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,950
And then there was a
peanut butter wrap,
582
00:24:16,950 --> 00:24:17,970
- on the face.
- Of course.
583
00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:19,000
And then pancakes for dessert.
584
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,750
That staple Northern meal.
585
00:24:20,750 --> 00:24:22,280
[laughter]
586
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,310
Mmmm!
587
00:24:23,310 --> 00:24:25,150
- [Alex] One person left.
- OK.
588
00:24:25,150 --> 00:24:26,860
- That person is Bob Mortimer.
- Let's see it.
589
00:24:26,860 --> 00:24:27,960
[Alex] OK.
590
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:35,940
[laughter]
591
00:24:36,660 --> 00:24:39,105
[Geordie accent]
Come to me, human man!
592
00:24:39,105 --> 00:24:41,980
Taste my facial flesh!
593
00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:44,530
Howay, what's not to like?
594
00:24:44,530 --> 00:24:45,630
Hello, Bob.
595
00:24:48,150 --> 00:24:50,240
- [laughter]
- That's it. Tuck in.
596
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,470
Go for my nose, pet. Come on.
597
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,180
Oh, oh. Come on.
598
00:24:58,510 --> 00:25:00,730
Oh, yes, I'm a sinner!
599
00:25:00,730 --> 00:25:02,920
I have sinned! Come on, eat me up!
600
00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:05,250
Oh, thank you!
601
00:25:07,060 --> 00:25:08,380
[Bob groans]
602
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,130
Beautiful, mate.
603
00:25:11,130 --> 00:25:13,880
Are there more like you
on your planet?
604
00:25:15,170 --> 00:25:17,170
Argh, more!
605
00:25:17,170 --> 00:25:18,550
Please!
606
00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:21,125
Enclose me! Howay!
607
00:25:21,125 --> 00:25:23,840
Oh, no, I've sinned again!
608
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:25,930
I've sinned again, mon!
609
00:25:25,930 --> 00:25:28,120
Hmm. Well, I've tasted your mask.
610
00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:29,760
Hey, Alex, it were just me.
611
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,660
- [laughter]
- It was just me!
612
00:25:31,660 --> 00:25:34,430
What do you reckon? Sexy, yeah?
613
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:37,510
Thank you!
614
00:25:37,510 --> 00:25:39,340
[laughter]
615
00:25:42,020 --> 00:25:45,440
[applause]
616
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,640
Bob, I think you were
shouting out, "I'm a s..."
617
00:25:48,370 --> 00:25:50,040
"I'm a sinner. I have sinned."
618
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,080
[laughter]
619
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,750
Is that what that was...?
620
00:25:54,750 --> 00:25:57,370
I think that's what you were shouting out while Alex was eating your face.
621
00:25:57,370 --> 00:25:58,660
[laughter]
622
00:25:58,660 --> 00:26:00,110
Did he cure me?
623
00:26:00,110 --> 00:26:02,150
- Was that the little story?
- Yeah, you kept saying thank you.
624
00:26:02,150 --> 00:26:03,870
It was your fucking mask, mate.
625
00:26:03,870 --> 00:26:05,600
[laughter]
626
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,550
Do you wanna see all five masks?
627
00:26:07,550 --> 00:26:09,750
Yeah, yeah, I do.
628
00:26:09,750 --> 00:26:11,220
Here they are.
629
00:26:11,220 --> 00:26:13,330
[laughter]
630
00:26:13,330 --> 00:26:15,400
Rob's is a little bit Phil Collins, innit?
631
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:16,950
[laughter]
632
00:26:16,950 --> 00:26:19,480
There was a period when he
was like that, wasn't there?
633
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:20,980
- [Alex] The hat?
- [Bob] Yeah!
634
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,110
I genuinely think they're all amazing.
635
00:26:24,110 --> 00:26:24,600
OK.
636
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,280
And it's very difficult, but based on
637
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:27,930
what you told me about the flavours,
638
00:26:27,930 --> 00:26:29,640
I'm going mark Noel and Rob...
639
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,750
I'm going to give them
two points each.
640
00:26:31,750 --> 00:26:33,040
Because the combination of flavours...
641
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:34,440
He's got fucking glue on his!
642
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,020
[laughter]
643
00:26:36,020 --> 00:26:37,840
And they're not edible!
644
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:42,025
Yours looks like a sort of
naan matador gone wrong.
645
00:26:42,025 --> 00:26:44,640
Fucking horrifying.
646
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,950
It's like a Yorkshire remake
of the Halloween films.
647
00:26:47,950 --> 00:26:50,200
[laughter]
648
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,200
"Ey up, you're all in trouble now!"
649
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,910
[laughter]
650
00:26:53,910 --> 00:26:55,670
"I'm gonna eat the lot of youse."
651
00:26:55,670 --> 00:26:57,150
[laughter]
652
00:26:57,150 --> 00:26:59,900
This is one of my favourite
ones ever, this is.
653
00:26:59,900 --> 00:27:02,000
- [Greg] Right, OK.
- [Alex] OK.
654
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,310
- We've got two points for Noel and Rob.
- OK, it's really hard.
655
00:27:04,310 --> 00:27:05,970
OK, I'm gonna give Katherine
three points,
656
00:27:05,970 --> 00:27:07,890
because I can't award
a lot of points to
657
00:27:07,890 --> 00:27:10,050
something that made
her that unhappy.
658
00:27:10,050 --> 00:27:13,220
And Josh, I think it
genuinely looks like you,
659
00:27:13,220 --> 00:27:16,730
and he deserves the four points
for your awful assault.
660
00:27:17,530 --> 00:27:19,050
And I mean, I just...
661
00:27:20,060 --> 00:27:22,350
I can't not give Bob first place.
662
00:27:22,350 --> 00:27:23,530
OK, five points to Bob.
663
00:27:23,530 --> 00:27:29,020
[cheers and applause]
664
00:27:29,020 --> 00:27:31,710
I guess we have to be brave
now, take a deep breath,
665
00:27:31,710 --> 00:27:35,740
and prepare to see the last task these champions ever tackled in the house.
666
00:27:35,740 --> 00:27:36,840
Here's the last one.
667
00:27:52,260 --> 00:27:53,360
Alright?
668
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,600
"Make the biggest mess and..."
[he laughs]
669
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,370
"Make the biggest mess and
completely clear it up."
670
00:28:02,370 --> 00:28:03,910
"You have ten minutes."
671
00:28:03,910 --> 00:28:05,600
"Your time starts now."
672
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:08,900
OK.
673
00:28:08,900 --> 00:28:10,530
D'you reckon I could tip that?
674
00:28:10,530 --> 00:28:14,820
[laughter and applause]
675
00:28:14,820 --> 00:28:17,420
Well, I for one am hoping
we get to see him try.
676
00:28:17,420 --> 00:28:19,260
[laughter]
677
00:28:19,260 --> 00:28:20,420
We can start with them if you want.
678
00:28:20,420 --> 00:28:22,060
Rob and Noel were both caravan-bound.
679
00:28:22,060 --> 00:28:23,550
Do you wanna see where they
went and what happened?
680
00:28:23,550 --> 00:28:24,650
Hit me up.
681
00:28:27,510 --> 00:28:29,090
There's a bit of go in it,
ain't there?
682
00:28:31,020 --> 00:28:32,495
Harder than it looks.
683
00:28:32,495 --> 00:28:34,400
That's it. That's it.
684
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:35,840
- [Alex] That's the mess, is it?
- No.
685
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,440
I tell you what, have you got a hose?
686
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:38,540
[Alex] Yes.
687
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,530
I'd say that was a mess, right?
688
00:29:01,530 --> 00:29:02,730
[Alex] Oh, it's a big mess.
689
00:29:02,730 --> 00:29:04,280
Looks great, doesn't it?
690
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,460
Seven and a half minutes
to put that back?
691
00:29:06,460 --> 00:29:07,570
Let's go.
692
00:29:07,570 --> 00:29:09,995
I mean, this is working
absolutely...
693
00:29:09,995 --> 00:29:11,760
Absolute charm, this!
694
00:29:12,620 --> 00:29:15,090
This is great, 'cause
I actually love tidying up.
695
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:18,700
Is there a broom?
696
00:29:18,700 --> 00:29:21,260
It's like a game of memory.
I know where everything goes.
697
00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:24,100
It's not really the kind of
broom I was after, but...
698
00:29:24,100 --> 00:29:25,200
Oh!
699
00:29:28,460 --> 00:29:29,440
Ugh.
700
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,480
Can you see any flour...?
Is there any flour on my face?
701
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:32,860
[Alex] Not that I can s-- Oh.
702
00:29:32,860 --> 00:29:35,470
[laughter]
703
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,150
[whistle blows]
704
00:29:41,150 --> 00:29:42,250
[Alex] Thank you, Rob.
705
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:48,495
[whistle blows]
706
00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:49,640
[Alex] Thank you, Noel.
707
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,570
[applause]
708
00:29:51,570 --> 00:29:54,910
This show brings up strange things
that come out of people's mouths,
709
00:29:54,910 --> 00:29:56,910
and I never thought I'd
hear Noel Fielding say,
710
00:29:56,910 --> 00:29:58,020
"I really like tidying."
711
00:29:58,020 --> 00:29:59,730
[laughter]
712
00:29:59,730 --> 00:30:01,370
Is that a thing in your life?
You like a tidy?
713
00:30:01,370 --> 00:30:02,950
I do like hoovering, yeah.
714
00:30:02,950 --> 00:30:05,245
You left the caravan tidier than when...
715
00:30:05,245 --> 00:30:07,170
you arrived in it.
716
00:30:07,170 --> 00:30:08,350
So we appreciated that.
717
00:30:08,350 --> 00:30:10,220
Yeah, he covered quite a big area.
718
00:30:10,220 --> 00:30:12,750
Rob probably covered a bigger
area with his flour, right?
719
00:30:12,750 --> 00:30:15,080
Yes, there was a lot of flour.
It covered the whole driveway.
720
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,370
- [Greg] Bigger mess.
- [Alex] A bigger mess.
721
00:30:16,370 --> 00:30:17,220
Who's next?
722
00:30:17,220 --> 00:30:19,860
Bob and Josh, these two men.
723
00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:21,000
[Greg] Bobby Josh.
724
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,930
Let's get a grounding
of cheese puffs.
725
00:30:24,930 --> 00:30:26,310
Oh, that's beautiful.
726
00:30:29,330 --> 00:30:31,710
I don't know what I'm doing,
Alex. I'm panicking.
727
00:30:31,710 --> 00:30:32,830
I'm panicking.
728
00:30:36,420 --> 00:30:37,860
Argh, I'm panicking!
729
00:30:41,970 --> 00:30:43,070
Panicking!
730
00:30:48,750 --> 00:30:49,850
That's good.
731
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:52,850
[laughter]
732
00:30:55,620 --> 00:30:57,095
So that's the mess.
733
00:30:57,095 --> 00:30:58,950
This is now the challenge.
734
00:30:58,950 --> 00:31:00,370
[Alex] You've got six and
a half minutes.
735
00:31:00,370 --> 00:31:03,100
I'm sprinkling unsalted peanuts.
736
00:31:03,100 --> 00:31:05,060
Messy bastards.
737
00:31:05,060 --> 00:31:07,340
[laughter]
738
00:31:07,340 --> 00:31:08,620
How long, Alex?
739
00:31:08,620 --> 00:31:10,150
You've got two and a half minutes.
740
00:31:10,150 --> 00:31:13,080
[laughter]
741
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:14,330
Oh, Jesus.
742
00:31:14,330 --> 00:31:16,120
This bin's worse than I imagined.
743
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,700
[laughter]
744
00:31:21,170 --> 00:31:22,040
How long, Alex?
745
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,570
- One minute 40, Bob.
- One minute 40. One more thing.
746
00:31:24,570 --> 00:31:25,860
Sugar cubes.
747
00:31:25,860 --> 00:31:29,340
Away you go, you sweet little imps!
748
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:31,920
Right, tidy it up.
749
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,000
You've got 50 seconds, Bob.
750
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,400
[whistle blows]
751
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:40,930
[DING!]
752
00:31:42,970 --> 00:31:44,410
[Alex] Spilled a bit of tea there.
753
00:31:49,970 --> 00:31:51,070
[whistle blows]
754
00:31:52,370 --> 00:31:54,220
[Bob exhales] Sorry.
755
00:31:54,220 --> 00:31:55,970
I'm finished.
756
00:31:55,970 --> 00:31:57,620
Gave it my best shot.
757
00:31:57,620 --> 00:31:58,480
Made a big mess.
758
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,350
Yeah, not a very good hoover.
759
00:32:00,350 --> 00:32:05,110
[laughter and applause]
760
00:32:05,110 --> 00:32:07,330
Bob, I put it to you that
you never had
761
00:32:07,330 --> 00:32:09,680
any intention of clearing
all that mess up.
762
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,370
None whatsoever, no.
763
00:32:12,370 --> 00:32:15,400
On the two sides of the
equation, you know,
764
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,170
I realised that the mess
was where the fun lay.
765
00:32:18,170 --> 00:32:19,530
[Greg] Where the fun was.
766
00:32:20,550 --> 00:32:22,460
Amazing. Josh...
767
00:32:22,460 --> 00:32:24,595
It was the neatest mess
I've ever seen.
768
00:32:24,595 --> 00:32:26,200
- but it was lovely.
- It was really messy.
769
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:27,820
By the time you'd finished,
it was lovely.
770
00:32:27,820 --> 00:32:30,350
It looked really... There was
bins and there was eggs,
771
00:32:30,350 --> 00:32:32,060
and there was... biscuits.
772
00:32:32,060 --> 00:32:33,460
I fantasised about you coming and
773
00:32:33,460 --> 00:32:35,440
living with me at one point during that.
774
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,480
Which bit? When I was messing
or when I was tidying?
775
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:39,300
Both.
776
00:32:39,300 --> 00:32:40,770
[laughter]
777
00:32:40,770 --> 00:32:43,260
Only one part left, and in that part,
778
00:32:43,260 --> 00:32:46,870
we will find the Champion of
Champions. Yes, we will.
779
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,220
Here we are, then. We made it.
780
00:33:00,220 --> 00:33:03,740
The last chapter in our Champion
of Champions special story.
781
00:33:03,740 --> 00:33:05,750
But first, what was left
to clear up, Alex?
782
00:33:05,750 --> 00:33:09,040
Well, Rob, Bob, Nob and Job
have all been making messes
783
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:10,660
and clearing them up.
They are men.
784
00:33:10,660 --> 00:33:15,030
We're yet to see Katherine Ryan's slightly
different take on making a mess.
785
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,550
OK, I'm gonna make some phone calls.
786
00:33:18,550 --> 00:33:20,170
Mess with my family.
787
00:33:20,170 --> 00:33:21,970
I'm just gonna tell them each a lie.
788
00:33:21,970 --> 00:33:23,110
[phone dials]
789
00:33:23,110 --> 00:33:24,840
[her sister] I'm in class,
what do you want?
790
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,230
Yeah, um, I just need
to talk to you about
791
00:33:26,230 --> 00:33:28,165
something quite serious
for a minute.
792
00:33:28,165 --> 00:33:29,310
Are you OK?
793
00:33:29,310 --> 00:33:34,260
Yeah, I'm fine, it's just that I
have news from people back home
794
00:33:34,260 --> 00:33:36,670
that Alan is cheating on you.
795
00:33:37,700 --> 00:33:39,020
Pff, no he's not.
796
00:33:39,020 --> 00:33:42,660
No, they saw him in a bar and he
was making out with this lady.
797
00:33:42,660 --> 00:33:45,570
Well, I've been cheating on him for the
last six months, so what's your deal?
798
00:33:45,570 --> 00:33:46,950
OK, well...
799
00:33:46,950 --> 00:33:49,200
I'll get more information for
you when I have it, though.
800
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,800
It might be not true, but it feels true.
801
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:53,055
Bye.
802
00:33:53,055 --> 00:33:55,400
She wasn't that surprised. OK.
803
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,770
Um, OK, I'm gonna call my dad.
804
00:33:57,770 --> 00:33:59,150
[Alex] How long has she
been with Alan?
805
00:33:59,150 --> 00:34:01,440
They've been married for two years.
806
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,350
[phone dials]
807
00:34:03,350 --> 00:34:04,860
- Got it.
- Hello?
808
00:34:04,860 --> 00:34:06,420
Hi, dad, how are you?
809
00:34:06,420 --> 00:34:07,510
Good. How are you?
810
00:34:07,510 --> 00:34:11,820
I'm well, I've got something
that Kerrie just told me.
811
00:34:11,820 --> 00:34:12,420
OK.
812
00:34:12,420 --> 00:34:15,570
She's pregnant and it's not Alan's.
813
00:34:15,570 --> 00:34:18,910
[he chuckles]
814
00:34:18,910 --> 00:34:20,930
Why are you laughing? I'm serious.
815
00:34:20,930 --> 00:34:22,730
April the first, is it?
816
00:34:22,730 --> 00:34:26,805
No, no. I'm dead serious.
It's like... some bad news.
817
00:34:26,805 --> 00:34:29,350
- [he chuckles]
- [laughter]
818
00:34:29,350 --> 00:34:30,800
You're gonna give me
a heart attack.
819
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,150
No, I'm not, I'm not. It's like...
820
00:34:33,150 --> 00:34:36,130
[he laughs]
821
00:34:36,130 --> 00:34:39,750
Hey, I didn't come over here in the last banana boat, you know.
822
00:34:40,650 --> 00:34:42,350
- OK, well, I've gotta go then.
- I know you.
823
00:34:42,350 --> 00:34:44,280
I've gotta go then and
lie to someone else.
824
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:45,710
- Alright. Bye.
- OK, bye.
825
00:34:45,710 --> 00:34:47,260
Fucking... God!
826
00:34:47,260 --> 00:34:48,330
[Alex] You've got one minute 45.
827
00:34:48,330 --> 00:34:51,820
One minute 45 seconds. This is no good for a mess. Damn it!
828
00:34:51,820 --> 00:34:52,930
Um...
829
00:34:52,930 --> 00:34:54,240
So, sorry to bother you again,
830
00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:57,440
I just realised that it was
not Alan who was
831
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,060
making out with that girl at the bar.
832
00:34:59,060 --> 00:35:00,820
It was someone else who
works with Alan,
833
00:35:00,820 --> 00:35:04,280
but because they're both Filipino, my friend got terribly confused.
834
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,550
So I'm really sorry, I hope you didn't...
835
00:35:06,550 --> 00:35:07,770
I hope I didn't make a mess.
836
00:35:07,770 --> 00:35:09,820
Well, I just told him that
I'd been cheating on him.
837
00:35:09,820 --> 00:35:12,380
[she laughs] No, you didn't.
838
00:35:13,300 --> 00:35:13,990
I did.
839
00:35:13,990 --> 00:35:15,770
Well, just tell him you were joking.
840
00:35:15,770 --> 00:35:19,215
Oh, my God. OK,
love you. Thanks.
841
00:35:19,215 --> 00:35:21,950
[laughter]
842
00:35:21,950 --> 00:35:23,910
I'll call Alan. I'll call Alan
real quick and just
843
00:35:23,910 --> 00:35:25,530
tell him my sister's
not cheating on him.
844
00:35:25,530 --> 00:35:26,820
[phone dials]
845
00:35:26,820 --> 00:35:27,800
- Hello?
- Hello, yeah?
846
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:31,910
Hi, I just want you to know Kerrie was
just playing a big joke on you,
847
00:35:31,910 --> 00:35:35,040
so she's not cheating on you,
Alan. Everything's cool.
848
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:36,110
Enjoy your marriage.
849
00:35:36,110 --> 00:35:38,370
[he laughs] No, this is Abe.
850
00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:40,295
Shit, is Alan there?
851
00:35:40,295 --> 00:35:42,020
- Can you call Alan and...?
- [laughter]
852
00:35:42,020 --> 00:35:43,120
Oh, no!
853
00:35:44,130 --> 00:35:45,600
Well, I'll see Alan tonight.
854
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,550
Good, well, tonight be
far too late, so...
855
00:35:48,550 --> 00:35:49,970
OK. OK, thanks.
856
00:35:51,700 --> 00:35:52,880
[whistle blows]
857
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,680
[laughter]
858
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,170
[Alex] Enjoy Christmas.
859
00:35:57,170 --> 00:35:58,680
Merry Christmas, everybody.
860
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:04,570
[applause]
861
00:36:04,570 --> 00:36:05,800
Jesus Christ.
862
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:07,640
[laughter]
863
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,370
Are Alan and your sister still together?
864
00:36:10,370 --> 00:36:13,660
Well, my sister, like my dad,
knew I was lying,
865
00:36:13,660 --> 00:36:16,770
so she lied to me and said she
cheated on her husband,
866
00:36:16,770 --> 00:36:18,080
but of course she never would.
867
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:19,700
They have a wonderful marriage.
868
00:36:21,020 --> 00:36:23,110
Your commitment to entertainment...
869
00:36:23,110 --> 00:36:24,510
[laughter]
870
00:36:24,510 --> 00:36:26,130
- ...is impressive.
- Yeah.
871
00:36:26,130 --> 00:36:29,110
And you know what, people shouldn't
be getting married anyway.
872
00:36:29,110 --> 00:36:30,770
[laughter]
873
00:36:30,770 --> 00:36:31,880
Yeah...
874
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:33,480
You're probably helping
them out in the long run.
875
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,080
[laughter]
876
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:36,530
Well, we've seen all
the messes, Greg.
877
00:36:36,530 --> 00:36:39,110
Yeah, OK. Man...
878
00:36:39,110 --> 00:36:40,950
Alright, well, I'm gonna
put Bob in last place,
879
00:36:40,950 --> 00:36:42,970
because he was just having fun.
880
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,040
So you can have one point.
881
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:46,900
- It's not about fun, is it?
- It's not about fun.
882
00:36:48,370 --> 00:36:50,550
This is gonna sound really harsh, but...
883
00:36:50,550 --> 00:36:52,370
I don't think Josh's mess
was very messy.
884
00:36:52,370 --> 00:36:53,640
What?!
885
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,840
There was eggs everywhere,
there was bins on the floor!
886
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:57,770
One bin.
887
00:36:57,770 --> 00:36:59,400
[laughter]
888
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,970
I do feel bad, though, because he
did a lovely job cleaning up,
889
00:37:01,970 --> 00:37:03,330
so can we give him three points?
890
00:37:03,330 --> 00:37:03,970
[Alex] OK.
891
00:37:03,970 --> 00:37:05,710
- Joint second...
- Joint second?
892
00:37:05,710 --> 00:37:07,200
- [Greg] ...Noel and Rob.
- [Alex] Because of the mess.
893
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,150
You know, they both made a nice mess,
894
00:37:09,150 --> 00:37:11,040
they both did a nice job of cleaning up.
895
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:12,440
But Jesus Christ, if for...
896
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,170
[laughter]
897
00:37:14,170 --> 00:37:17,370
If for the sake of an
entertainment show on Dave,
898
00:37:17,370 --> 00:37:19,740
Katherine Ryan's prepared
to fuck her own family up,
899
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,170
she's gonna get the five points.
900
00:37:22,170 --> 00:37:24,680
- So in a way, she won the task.
- Bang, she won the task!
901
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:29,770
[cheers and applause]
902
00:37:29,770 --> 00:37:32,000
How are things looking before
the final task, then, Alex?
903
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,460
There's five points
separating the five people,
904
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:36,400
Katherine is now on
double figures with ten,
905
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,600
but Noel's in the lead on 15.
906
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:39,930
- [Greg whistles]
- Here we go.
907
00:37:39,930 --> 00:37:44,910
[cheers and applause]
908
00:37:44,910 --> 00:37:46,240
Just one thing left, then.
909
00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:49,620
Will you all please take the
stage for the final task
910
00:37:49,620 --> 00:37:52,120
of the Champion of Champions!
911
00:37:54,840 --> 00:38:01,385
[cheers and applause]
912
00:38:01,385 --> 00:38:04,330
Um, I think we should get Katherine to read out the task, please.
913
00:38:04,330 --> 00:38:05,910
[Alex] Oh, I've...
914
00:38:05,910 --> 00:38:08,350
I've got Heelys on but they
don't work on this floor.
915
00:38:10,350 --> 00:38:11,530
Thank you, Alex.
916
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:14,300
OK.
917
00:38:16,770 --> 00:38:20,550
"Record the highest total of
steps on your pedometers."
918
00:38:20,550 --> 00:38:23,330
"You may not touch your blindfold."
919
00:38:23,330 --> 00:38:25,060
"You have 100 seconds."
920
00:38:25,060 --> 00:38:28,170
OK, please don your blindfolds.
921
00:38:28,170 --> 00:38:29,370
[Greg] Blindfolds on.
922
00:38:29,370 --> 00:38:33,280
You have six pedometers on your ankles, wrists, midriff and head.
923
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,400
Most steps recorded as a total wins.
924
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,750
You have 100 seconds,
starting on the whistle.
925
00:38:38,750 --> 00:38:39,510
[blows whistle]
926
00:38:39,510 --> 00:38:44,610
[cheers and applause]
927
00:38:49,780 --> 00:38:51,440
Where is the fucker?
928
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,520
[laughter]
929
00:38:55,220 --> 00:38:57,560
[laughter]
930
00:38:58,460 --> 00:39:02,180
[cheers and applause]
931
00:39:06,610 --> 00:39:08,290
[Rob] I don't know where I am!
932
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,750
Where are you going, Josh?
Where are you going?
933
00:39:12,750 --> 00:39:14,870
You're drifting, you're drifting.
934
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,000
You have a nice time, Bob?
935
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,630
- Yes, thank you.
- Good, good.
936
00:39:22,310 --> 00:39:24,620
Go on, Josh! Go on, Josh!
937
00:39:26,170 --> 00:39:27,480
Go on, Katherine.
938
00:39:29,970 --> 00:39:31,240
Ten!
939
00:39:31,240 --> 00:39:34,750
[audience] Nine, eight, seven, six...
940
00:39:34,750 --> 00:39:39,550
five, four, three, two, one...
941
00:39:39,550 --> 00:39:41,000
[whistle blows]
942
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,875
Stay still, stay still, stay still!
943
00:39:43,875 --> 00:39:47,000
What a glorious end to the
Champion of Champions.
944
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,310
Please make your way down and
945
00:39:48,310 --> 00:39:50,660
we'll see how that's affected
the final scores!
946
00:39:50,660 --> 00:39:52,300
[Alex] This way, please.
947
00:39:55,110 --> 00:39:58,850
[cheers and applause]
948
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,800
- Have you added up the steps, Alex?
- Of course I have.
949
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,640
I did what you told me to do,
I added them up.
950
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:04,170
And?
951
00:40:04,170 --> 00:40:09,620
Well, um, the lowest score
was 627 steps,
952
00:40:09,620 --> 00:40:12,240
and that was recorded
by Noel Fielding.
953
00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:13,710
[audience] Aww.
954
00:40:13,710 --> 00:40:16,480
The lowest score. He was
going like the clappers.
955
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,820
I think he did move a couple of them.
956
00:40:18,820 --> 00:40:19,820
Put 'em on my feet.
957
00:40:19,820 --> 00:40:22,600
And I think the moving
affected the score.
958
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:25,530
They were adjusted that well when
they were re-positioned.
959
00:40:25,530 --> 00:40:26,660
Aww.
960
00:40:26,660 --> 00:40:29,150
For which... I'm truly sorry.
961
00:40:29,150 --> 00:40:30,330
[laughter]
962
00:40:30,330 --> 00:40:31,530
[Greg] And who was next?
963
00:40:31,530 --> 00:40:35,730
Well, Noel did 627.
Bob did 730 steps.
964
00:40:35,730 --> 00:40:38,330
- Not bad.
- Just by using them on his hands.
965
00:40:38,330 --> 00:40:39,310
Yes.
966
00:40:39,310 --> 00:40:42,060
[laughter]
967
00:40:42,060 --> 00:40:45,840
840 steps were taken... by Rob.
968
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:47,480
[audience] Oooh.
969
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:50,090
He was going fast. He looked
like he was gonna die.
970
00:40:51,020 --> 00:40:54,020
- Josh took over 1000. 1095.
- [Bob] Whoa!
971
00:40:54,020 --> 00:40:55,220
- [Rob] Wow!
- Whoa.
972
00:40:55,220 --> 00:41:00,950
Katherine, over 200 on each
part of the body. 1263 steps.
973
00:41:00,950 --> 00:41:03,330
[cheers and applause]
974
00:41:03,330 --> 00:41:05,040
Thank you, thank you.
975
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:07,040
How's that affected the
final scoreboard?
976
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,310
The final scoreboard is
very close at the top,
977
00:41:09,310 --> 00:41:11,150
but with a score of 18, the
winner of this episode
978
00:41:11,150 --> 00:41:12,400
is Mr Josh Widdicombe!
979
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:16,680
[cheers and applause]
980
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:17,640
Josh is the winner.
981
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:21,550
Please, Josh, go up and collect
the best prizes of all time!
982
00:41:21,550 --> 00:41:24,970
[cheers and applause]
983
00:41:24,970 --> 00:41:26,770
So, what have we learnt today?
984
00:41:26,770 --> 00:41:29,350
We've learnt that in life,
if you're battling demons,
985
00:41:29,350 --> 00:41:30,950
and you need to be set free,
986
00:41:30,950 --> 00:41:33,020
just get Alex to eat your face off.
987
00:41:33,020 --> 00:41:37,020
But also we've learnt that Josh is
the winner of all the best stuff,
988
00:41:37,020 --> 00:41:38,510
so well done to Josh!
989
00:41:38,510 --> 00:41:50,210
[cheers and applause]
990
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:58,130
[cheers and applause]
991
00:41:58,130 --> 00:42:02,600
[fanfare plays]
992
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,930
[applause]
993
00:42:05,930 --> 00:42:09,460
Thirty-four hours of
task-based television
994
00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:12,550
and six million years
of human evolution
995
00:42:12,550 --> 00:42:15,660
have brought us to this
monumental point in time.
996
00:42:15,660 --> 00:42:18,400
Out five champions have
all proven their worth
997
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,530
but only one of them can win.
998
00:42:20,530 --> 00:42:24,150
Just one person can be
the best of the best.
999
00:42:24,150 --> 00:42:26,840
The greatest person ever...
1000
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,595
to complete my important tasks.
1001
00:42:29,595 --> 00:42:34,720
It's now that I have to hand over to
Alex to give us the final scores.
1002
00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:36,900
Well, at this point,
I also should mention
1003
00:42:36,900 --> 00:42:39,060
that of course the winner
will get this little trophy
1004
00:42:39,060 --> 00:42:40,940
to complete their Taskmaster set.
1005
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,400
But in series one,
we didn't have this trophy,
1006
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,350
because we didn't know if
we'd have another series.
1007
00:42:46,350 --> 00:42:49,370
So instead we gave them quite
a cheap karate trophy.
1008
00:42:49,370 --> 00:42:51,660
So if Josh Widdicombe wins,
1009
00:42:51,660 --> 00:42:56,350
he will have to slot his karate trophy into the top of the statue.
1010
00:42:56,350 --> 00:42:57,310
And the others will...
1011
00:42:57,310 --> 00:42:59,480
The others will slot the head,
which will be more satisfying.
1012
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,260
- Fully understood.
- OK.
1013
00:43:01,260 --> 00:43:04,040
So, I've totted up the scores.
1014
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:05,620
In fifth place,
1015
00:43:05,620 --> 00:43:07,440
with 24 points, it's Bob Mortimer!
1016
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:12,710
[cheers and applause]
1017
00:43:12,710 --> 00:43:16,440
In fourth place with 32 points,
it's Noel Fielding!
1018
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,330
[cheers and applause]
1019
00:43:19,330 --> 00:43:23,130
In third place with 35 points,
it's Katherine Ryan.
1020
00:43:23,130 --> 00:43:25,480
[cheers and applause]
1021
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:29,220
With 36 points, one point off the lead,
1022
00:43:29,220 --> 00:43:30,460
it's Rob Beckett!
1023
00:43:30,460 --> 00:43:33,530
[cheers and applause]
1024
00:43:33,530 --> 00:43:36,080
So the winner, with 37 points...
1025
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,475
...is Josh Widdicombe!
Josh, you've done it.
1026
00:43:39,475 --> 00:43:42,800
Well done, you've collected
all the parts you need
1027
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:45,510
- to complete the winner's trophy!
- [cheers and applause]
1028
00:43:45,510 --> 00:43:47,330
[cheers and applause]
1029
00:43:47,330 --> 00:43:51,030
The final task is to add the head!
1030
00:43:51,030 --> 00:43:54,380
You are the Taskmaster
Champion of Champions!
1031
00:43:55,330 --> 00:43:56,260
Thank you, everyone.
1032
00:43:56,260 --> 00:43:58,010
Thanks for watching. Good night!
1033
00:44:01,330 --> 00:44:07,810
[subtitles by tribbletown]
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