Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,346
Did he say what it was about?
2
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,091
No, and I tried to
get him to tell me.
3
00:00:14,091 --> 00:00:15,922
He said he'd
only speak to you.
4
00:00:15,922 --> 00:00:17,684
Well, I've got
the weeks coming in.
5
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,686
They're fighting over
the Nantucket house again.
6
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,647
He says he'll
only speak to you.
7
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,881
Dwight, how are you?
8
00:00:27,916 --> 00:00:30,363
Oh, not good, Shirley.
9
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:34,534
–Why?
–Jeanie is leaving me.
10
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,043
What? Why?
11
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,720
And she's trying to
have the marriage annulled.
12
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,327
That's ridiculous,
not to mention impossible.
13
00:00:42,327 --> 00:00:44,367
You've been
married over 20 years.
14
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,046
She just wants it all erased
15
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:49,507
as if, as if I
never existed, I guess.
16
00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:52,302
Why? What's gotten into her?
17
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:57,515
Well, it's more of what I've
gotten into, I suppose.
18
00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,143
I strayed.
19
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,187
You?
20
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,613
Well, I, I can't
pretend I'm not shocked.
21
00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:10,695
Even so, infidelity
isn't grounds for annulment.
22
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,992
There's something
you're not telling me.
23
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,495
I strayed with Wendy.
24
00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:21,873
You've met Wendy.
25
00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:23,875
Wendy…
26
00:01:25,501 --> 00:01:28,970
Your cow?
27
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:31,014
We became very close.
28
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:34,677
One night, I'd had a
bit to drink, I suppose.
29
00:01:34,712 --> 00:01:38,306
Jeanie and I had been a
little estranged, and…
30
00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:41,142
You strayed…
31
00:01:41,177 --> 00:01:43,151
with livestock?
32
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,694
It's not what you think.
33
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,405
It was all very
loving. I know Jeanie.
34
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,769
She's gonna try and
make me out a big sicko.
35
00:01:49,769 --> 00:01:50,825
Geez.
36
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,702
Obviously, I made a mistake,
37
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,788
but I've been a good
husband for 23 years,
38
00:01:55,823 --> 00:01:58,485
a deacon at our church, a
model philanthropist,
39
00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:01,113
a respected professor
at a major university,
40
00:02:01,113 --> 00:02:03,556
a town selectman, even.
41
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:05,880
You sleep with one cow.
42
00:02:05,915 --> 00:02:08,230
Please don't make sport.
43
00:02:08,265 --> 00:02:10,546
And don't make light.
44
00:02:10,838 --> 00:02:13,522
I don't want to lose my wife.
45
00:02:45,826 --> 00:02:47,847
You cannot
turf this one to me.
46
00:02:47,927 --> 00:02:49,424
–Oh, but I can.
–Shirley…
47
00:02:49,504 --> 00:02:51,849
Look, I can defend almost
48
00:02:51,931 --> 00:02:54,235
anyone against
almost anything but…
49
00:02:54,315 --> 00:02:56,783
growing up, I had a cow.
50
00:02:56,863 --> 00:02:59,774
–You?
–Not sexually. As a pet.
51
00:02:59,855 --> 00:03:00,819
Bumpy.
52
00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:03,833
I had dogs, cats,
a tree frog, but…
53
00:03:03,914 --> 00:03:05,401
Bumpy.
54
00:03:05,481 --> 00:03:07,410
I cherished that animal.
55
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:10,104
To think what Dwight…
56
00:03:10,184 --> 00:03:11,350
I can't go there, Denise.
57
00:03:11,350 --> 00:03:12,515
What makes you think I can?
58
00:03:12,515 --> 00:03:13,801
You're being asked to.
59
00:03:13,881 --> 00:03:17,137
The name of this firm is
Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
60
00:03:17,217 --> 00:03:18,544
I'm Schmidt.
61
00:03:18,624 --> 00:03:20,192
Shirley, please,
I am begging you.
62
00:03:20,192 --> 00:03:21,559
–Someone's got
to do it, Denise
63
00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:23,603
Can't be me.
64
00:03:30,641 --> 00:03:32,884
Denny Crane.
65
00:03:32,924 --> 00:03:35,397
I don't know why I'm here.
66
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,093
Denny Crane.
I've been summoned.
67
00:03:39,256 --> 00:03:40,240
Denny Crane.
68
00:03:40,897 --> 00:03:42,045
Denny Crane.
69
00:03:42,536 --> 00:03:43,930
Denny Crane.
70
00:03:45,817 --> 00:03:47,853
Trial date is
set for December the
71
00:03:47,856 --> 00:03:50,181
2nd. We will
conference a week from today.
72
00:03:50,181 --> 00:03:52,470
Denny Crane. Who the
hell called, and why?
73
00:03:52,470 --> 00:03:53,733
Oh, Denny Crane.
74
00:03:53,768 --> 00:03:57,910
Ah, Mr Crane, recall
Jessel, would you, please?
75
00:03:57,945 --> 00:04:02,053
Docket number 166253,
commonwealth vs Ronald Jessel.
76
00:04:02,088 --> 00:04:03,802
Mr Crane,
you've been assigned to
77
00:04:03,802 --> 00:04:05,502
represent one of
our indigent defendants.
78
00:04:05,502 --> 00:04:06,543
Thank you for coming in.
79
00:04:06,543 --> 00:04:07,763
No can do, judge.
80
00:04:07,798 --> 00:04:09,748
–I beg your pardon?
–Indigent are poor.
81
00:04:09,748 --> 00:04:11,385
Hate the poor. Can't pay.
82
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,662
Mr Crane, this isn't a
request. It's a court order.
83
00:04:13,662 --> 00:04:15,250
Unless you think that senior
84
00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:16,790
partners are
exempt from civic duty.
85
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,331
Was it a hooker?
I can do hookers.
86
00:04:18,331 --> 00:04:21,411
It's a murder case.
Your client is right there.
87
00:04:25,742 --> 00:04:27,289
Defense pleads guilty.
88
00:04:27,324 --> 00:04:28,836
We accept the district
89
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,636
attorney's
recommendation for sentencing.
90
00:04:30,636 --> 00:04:31,638
Denny Crane.
91
00:04:31,723 --> 00:04:33,688
Come back here
this instant, or
92
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,780
you will be held
in contempt, sir.
93
00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:36,993
What did you just say?
94
00:04:36,993 --> 00:04:38,332
You will meet your client.
95
00:04:38,332 --> 00:04:39,628
You will return here this
96
00:04:39,628 --> 00:04:40,883
afternoon to enter your plea,
97
00:04:40,883 --> 00:04:43,392
and you will give him
adequate representation.
98
00:04:43,392 --> 00:04:45,378
He allegedly
killed a 13-year-old
99
00:04:45,442 --> 00:04:47,367
girl, hence the
presence of the media.
100
00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:51,382
He'll get high-profile
representation as well.
101
00:04:51,466 --> 00:04:53,515
Go.
102
00:05:05,687 --> 00:05:07,863
Hope you die.
103
00:05:08,448 --> 00:05:10,037
Denny Crane.
104
00:05:28,986 --> 00:05:31,815
Hey! Kid. Front and center.
105
00:05:33,609 --> 00:05:35,044
Bet you'd lick my shoes for a
106
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:36,313
murder case,
wouldn't you, kid?
107
00:05:36,313 --> 00:05:37,993
I would, sir.
108
00:05:38,232 --> 00:05:40,145
Because I like you, you
won't have to lick them.
109
00:05:40,145 --> 00:05:42,217
Just dust them
with your sleeve.
110
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:43,254
Yes, sir.
111
00:05:43,334 --> 00:05:44,888
We can't have a clown waxing
112
00:05:44,888 --> 00:05:46,442
on about G-8 and world issues.
113
00:05:46,442 --> 00:05:48,116
For God's sake,
it's a children's show.
114
00:05:48,116 --> 00:05:49,791
–Well, when did you fire him?
–Friday.
115
00:05:49,791 --> 00:05:51,775
He filed for
the TRO yesterday.
116
00:05:51,775 --> 00:05:54,037
Look, this could be a
public relations nightmare.
117
00:05:54,037 --> 00:05:57,683
He's the only Zozo
the station's ever had.
118
00:05:58,330 --> 00:05:59,907
May I help you ladies?
119
00:05:59,946 --> 00:06:02,851
We're here for the
assistant's position.
120
00:06:07,419 --> 00:06:09,744
Congratulations. You're hired.
121
00:06:09,779 --> 00:06:10,903
Thank you all.
122
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:12,028
Let's go inside.
123
00:06:12,111 --> 00:06:13,356
Alan, you can't just do that.
124
00:06:13,356 --> 00:06:14,685
You have to at
least interview.
125
00:06:14,685 --> 00:06:18,214
Why? I have a very
strong feeling about this one.
126
00:06:18,297 --> 00:06:20,207
Can you type?
127
00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:22,616
–Some.
–See?
128
00:06:24,402 --> 00:06:26,035
What happened to Shirley?
129
00:06:26,070 --> 00:06:28,400
Shirley likes to assign
cases to the hot hand and,
130
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,124
right now I'm hot.
131
00:06:30,159 --> 00:06:32,120
I've known her
since we were kids.
132
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:33,992
I mean, she knows
me. That's, that's why…
133
00:06:33,992 --> 00:06:35,792
Which is exactly why you
134
00:06:35,875 --> 00:06:38,295
should be with someone else.
135
00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:40,715
Shirley could be too close
136
00:06:40,799 --> 00:06:43,804
to see things objectively.
137
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:48,352
It's Bumpy, isn't it?
138
00:06:48,852 --> 00:06:52,023
I had such a
crush on that cow.
139
00:06:52,565 --> 00:06:54,672
That doesn't make me gay.
140
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:56,745
Mr Biddle, have you, um,
141
00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:59,409
–Gotten counseling for this?
–Yes.
142
00:06:59,444 --> 00:07:01,877
Yes. I'm working on it.
143
00:07:01,912 --> 00:07:05,271
Look, Jeanie married me for
better or worse, right?
144
00:07:05,306 --> 00:07:08,630
And for 20-plus years,
it's been a great marriage.
145
00:07:08,665 --> 00:07:10,758
I still love her.
146
00:07:11,342 --> 00:07:13,762
I don't want to lose her.
147
00:07:20,939 --> 00:07:23,067
Defense enters a plea
of not guilty, your honor.
148
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,361
At this time, we would like to
149
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,737
be heard on
bail. This matter…
150
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,318
Hold on just a
second. Where's Denny Crane?
151
00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:30,661
I'm an attorney from
Crane, Poole & Schmidt, sir.
152
00:07:30,661 --> 00:07:32,330
–I'm appearing…
–I didn't assign
153
00:07:32,330 --> 00:07:33,916
this case to
Crane, Poole & Schmidt.
154
00:07:33,916 --> 00:07:35,656
I assigned it to Denny Crane,
155
00:07:35,668 --> 00:07:37,254
counselor. Where is he?
156
00:07:37,337 --> 00:07:39,340
He's back at the firm, sir.
157
00:07:39,423 --> 00:07:42,094
I asked him to do
a little research.
158
00:07:42,177 --> 00:07:43,763
Are you making a joke in my
159
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,223
courtroom, counsel?
–No, sir.
160
00:07:45,223 --> 00:07:47,434
Step up here, counsel.
161
00:07:50,146 --> 00:07:52,567
Have you ever tried
a case before, counsel?
162
00:07:52,567 --> 00:07:56,864
I won my moot court
competition at Suffolk, sir.
163
00:07:57,365 --> 00:07:58,832
Turn around.
164
00:07:58,867 --> 00:08:00,370
What are you going to do?
165
00:08:00,453 --> 00:08:01,997
I asked you to turn around.
166
00:08:01,997 --> 00:08:03,918
I see members
of the media here.
167
00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:05,752
Some of you
have video cameras.
168
00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:08,423
I invite you to
point them this way.
169
00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:10,426
We like to think that all are
170
00:08:10,509 --> 00:08:12,964
entitled to a fair
trial in this country,
171
00:08:12,964 --> 00:08:15,384
that we have an
advocacy system about truth.
172
00:08:15,384 --> 00:08:17,526
But the real
truth, the ugly one,
173
00:08:17,561 --> 00:08:21,190
is that the indigent
get anything but fairness.
174
00:08:21,225 --> 00:08:24,045
On this side, we
have a district attorney
175
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,808
with 50 homicide
trials under his belt,
176
00:08:26,843 --> 00:08:29,536
and here,
representing the accused,
177
00:08:29,571 --> 00:08:31,998
we have a boy who won his moot
178
00:08:32,081 --> 00:08:34,418
court
competition in law school.
179
00:08:34,453 --> 00:08:36,125
This is how it is, people.
180
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:37,840
The poor get the lawyers who
181
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,522
can't get real
clients of their own.
182
00:08:39,522 --> 00:08:41,177
We have a
system where the state
183
00:08:41,177 --> 00:08:42,721
matches the best
and the brightest
184
00:08:42,721 --> 00:08:44,974
against defense
attorneys coming out of
185
00:08:44,974 --> 00:08:47,241
a pool of
inexperience and incompetence.
186
00:08:47,241 --> 00:08:49,480
It is an insult to
our notion of democracy.
187
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,650
It makes a mockery
of criminal justice.
188
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:54,696
I will not indulge a
mockery in my courtroom.
189
00:08:54,732 --> 00:08:56,371
Turn around, counsel.
190
00:08:56,406 --> 00:09:00,743
Put one arm behind your
back, as if it were tied.
191
00:09:00,778 --> 00:09:02,710
Now stand on one leg
192
00:09:02,745 --> 00:09:04,956
as if your
client barely has a leg
193
00:09:05,039 --> 00:09:07,208
to stand on with
you as his counsel.
194
00:09:07,243 --> 00:09:08,977
Now you hop on out of here.
195
00:09:09,012 --> 00:09:10,795
Tell Denny Crane if he doesn't
196
00:09:10,795 --> 00:09:12,290
show up to
represent his client,
197
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:14,924
he will be jailed.
198
00:09:14,959 --> 00:09:17,468
Hop, now!
199
00:09:32,524 --> 00:09:36,069
Clown goes up first.
Why don't you take him?
200
00:09:36,862 --> 00:09:39,030
Do you have a
real name on this guy?
201
00:09:39,065 --> 00:09:40,505
Yeah, Robert Berrin, but
202
00:09:40,532 --> 00:09:41,866
he's been Zozo for 13 years.
203
00:09:41,866 --> 00:09:44,744
I figure I'll take
our client on direct.
204
00:09:44,779 --> 00:09:46,628
This is at-will employment?
205
00:09:46,663 --> 00:09:49,241
Yes, but the discharge
has to be in good faith.
206
00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:51,461
He was up for a
big contract bump. So
207
00:09:51,542 --> 00:09:53,746
my bet is they're
gonna argue pretext.
208
00:09:53,746 --> 00:09:54,802
Excuse me.
209
00:09:54,837 --> 00:09:57,214
Could I steal
Alan for one second?
210
00:09:57,249 --> 00:09:59,317
We're in a meeting, Melissa.
211
00:09:59,352 --> 00:10:01,390
Oh. Yeah. It's, it's just…
212
00:10:01,425 --> 00:10:03,429
I started
thinking. I think the
213
00:10:03,512 --> 00:10:05,514
high of getting
the job kind of…
214
00:10:05,549 --> 00:10:07,057
It just hit me. Um, the
215
00:10:07,141 --> 00:10:08,823
criterion on
which I was hired,
216
00:10:08,823 --> 00:10:10,519
and now that I
am hired, I just
217
00:10:10,519 --> 00:10:12,379
thought that I
should be clear.
218
00:10:12,521 --> 00:10:14,446
I will not be objectified.
219
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:16,601
I will not be ogled.
If I am, I write you up.
220
00:10:16,601 --> 00:10:18,234
And no touching, no double
221
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:20,111
entendres, no
comments on what I'm wearing.
222
00:10:20,111 --> 00:10:22,071
If I get any of
that, I write you up.
223
00:10:22,071 --> 00:10:23,751
I'm your assistant, not your
224
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,491
subordinate. You
cross that line, I…
225
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:27,576
I write you up.
226
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:31,122
Follow the rules, we
should get along fine.
227
00:10:32,415 --> 00:10:34,125
That's all.
228
00:10:36,252 --> 00:10:38,546
I told you to interview.
229
00:10:42,632 --> 00:10:46,052
I will not indulge a
mockery in my courtroom.
230
00:10:46,087 --> 00:10:47,779
Turn around, counsel.
231
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,472
Now stand on one leg,
232
00:10:49,472 --> 00:10:51,474
as if your
client barely has a leg
233
00:10:51,474 --> 00:10:53,351
to stand on with
you as his counsel.
234
00:10:53,351 --> 00:10:55,075
Now you hop on out of here.
235
00:10:55,075 --> 00:10:56,813
Tell Denny Crane if he doesn't
236
00:10:56,813 --> 00:10:58,141
show up to
represent his client,
237
00:10:58,141 --> 00:10:59,649
he will be jailed.
238
00:10:59,684 --> 00:11:01,241
Hop, now!
239
00:11:01,276 --> 00:11:03,438
That was the scene at
the courthouse this morning.
240
00:11:03,438 --> 00:11:05,363
Channel 8 own
legal analyst Mike
241
00:11:05,363 --> 00:11:07,156
Turfer said he's
never seen anything…
242
00:11:07,156 --> 00:11:08,865
A judge says
to hop, you do it?
243
00:11:08,865 --> 00:11:10,283
All right, Denny, you
244
00:11:10,367 --> 00:11:11,952
obviously need to
take over this case.
245
00:11:11,952 --> 00:11:13,829
We can send Alan in as backup.
246
00:11:13,912 --> 00:11:15,330
–I don't need backup.
–Denny…
247
00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:19,668
I can handle this case.
I can handle this judge.
248
00:11:20,293 --> 00:11:22,503
A homicide, right?
249
00:11:22,538 --> 00:11:24,714
Homicide and rape.
250
00:11:34,808 --> 00:11:36,834
Mister Rogers, Sesame street,
251
00:11:36,868 --> 00:11:38,861
Thomas the tank engine, the
252
00:11:38,901 --> 00:11:40,604
magic school
bus, oh, you name it.
253
00:11:40,604 --> 00:11:43,927
All the top children's
entertainers are educators.
254
00:11:43,961 --> 00:11:45,711
He never said
he'd be in costume.
255
00:11:45,711 --> 00:11:46,702
Always in public.
256
00:11:46,765 --> 00:11:49,075
But, Mr Berrin,
why global warming?
257
00:11:49,156 --> 00:11:50,697
Mainly because
it's possibly the
258
00:11:50,697 --> 00:11:52,196
number one
threat to this planet,
259
00:11:52,196 --> 00:11:54,223
and our country's
doing almost nothing.
260
00:11:54,223 --> 00:11:55,804
Can you do the cross?
261
00:11:55,885 --> 00:11:58,033
Uh, even so, uh,
262
00:11:58,115 --> 00:12:02,006
none of this seems
funny, and you're a clown.
263
00:12:02,087 --> 00:12:04,682
Global warming could
result in a rising sea level
264
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,256
that could make a huge part
265
00:12:06,303 --> 00:12:07,802
of the world uninhabitable.
266
00:12:07,802 --> 00:12:10,518
We as Americans
have a responsibility.
267
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:14,450
The U.S. makes up 4%
of the world's population,
268
00:12:14,532 --> 00:12:18,511
but we produce 25% of the
carbon dioxide pollution,
269
00:12:18,598 --> 00:12:20,304
most of any country.
270
00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:22,098
The United States is the
271
00:12:22,185 --> 00:12:23,847
leading cause
of global warming.
272
00:12:23,847 --> 00:12:25,859
We need to take a leading
273
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,871
role in finding the solution.
274
00:12:35,262 --> 00:12:37,756
Let's go. You're up.
275
00:12:40,030 --> 00:12:41,641
You go.
276
00:12:41,676 --> 00:12:43,252
What?
277
00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:46,599
No questions, your honor.
278
00:12:48,022 --> 00:12:49,284
What are you doing?
279
00:12:49,319 --> 00:12:53,000
If you want to cross-examine
him, Brad, you do it.
280
00:12:53,035 --> 00:12:54,137
What's going on?
281
00:12:54,172 --> 00:12:57,351
Nobody ever said
he'd be in costume.
282
00:13:02,331 --> 00:13:05,604
I'm afraid of clowns.
283
00:13:08,504 --> 00:13:10,403
How can anybody
be afraid of a clown?
284
00:13:10,403 --> 00:13:11,826
Keep your voice down.
285
00:13:11,861 --> 00:13:13,393
Now his
testimony goes uncontested.
286
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,541
–You could have crossed.
–I didn't prep a cross.
287
00:13:15,541 --> 00:13:17,240
–What's going on?
–He's afraid of clowns.
288
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,745
I am not.
289
00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:20,644
It was strategy.
290
00:13:21,431 --> 00:13:22,716
Hey.
291
00:13:27,232 --> 00:13:28,620
Any calls?
292
00:13:28,655 --> 00:13:30,009
Not really.
293
00:13:30,174 --> 00:13:32,328
Afraid of clowns, huh?
294
00:13:38,212 --> 00:13:40,822
You cannot enter
a plea of guilty.
295
00:13:40,857 --> 00:13:41,948
Why not?
296
00:13:41,983 --> 00:13:43,532
It is your intent, sir, to
297
00:13:43,599 --> 00:13:45,049
plead guilty to these crimes?
298
00:13:45,049 --> 00:13:46,506
Um, no, sir.
299
00:13:46,540 --> 00:13:48,488
You're not gonna take
his word for it, are you?
300
00:13:48,488 --> 00:13:49,482
Come on, judge.
301
00:13:49,565 --> 00:13:51,140
If he'd murder, he'd lie.
302
00:13:51,222 --> 00:13:53,460
Step up here, Mr Crane.
303
00:13:53,543 --> 00:13:54,952
Yes.
304
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,374
You can stop trying to get
305
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:02,700
yourself off
the case, counsel.
306
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:03,860
That isn't going to happen.
307
00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:06,677
Look, judge, I
can't defend a man
308
00:14:06,761 --> 00:14:09,040
who raped and
murdered a 13-year-old girl.
309
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,779
–Somebody's got to do it.
–Why me?
310
00:14:10,779 --> 00:14:12,852
Because I said so.
311
00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:15,213
Which brings me
to my second issue.
312
00:14:15,295 --> 00:14:16,290
Which is
313
00:14:16,373 --> 00:14:18,519
You're a douche bag.
I don't do well
314
00:14:18,528 --> 00:14:20,517
with douche bags.
315
00:14:21,262 --> 00:14:22,898
That won't work either.
316
00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:24,397
You will try this case.
317
00:14:24,432 --> 00:14:25,862
All you will accomplish
318
00:14:25,944 --> 00:14:27,305
with this unfettered insolence
319
00:14:27,305 --> 00:14:29,507
is a jail sentence for contempt
320
00:14:29,591 --> 00:14:32,346
after you've tried this case.
321
00:14:32,381 --> 00:14:35,125
Do I make myself
clear, Mr Crane?
322
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:47,787
I can understand
that she's horrified,
323
00:14:47,822 --> 00:14:49,790
but to annul the marriage?
324
00:14:49,825 --> 00:14:51,723
Your honor, it is so aberrant.
325
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:54,767
It is such an abomination. It
is so abhorrent.
326
00:14:54,802 --> 00:14:56,473
And she's just
on the “A” words.
327
00:14:56,473 --> 00:14:58,075
Let's go to “B” then.
328
00:14:58,110 --> 00:15:00,450
Bestiality…
Is not, ever
329
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,714
has been
grounds for annulment.
330
00:15:02,749 --> 00:15:07,972
Mrs Biddle, why
erase the whole marriage?
331
00:15:09,017 --> 00:15:12,201
Because it was never real.
332
00:15:12,236 --> 00:15:14,952
He was always
in love with her.
333
00:15:15,035 --> 00:15:16,038
The cow.
334
00:15:16,122 --> 00:15:18,749
Over the last ten years or so,
335
00:15:18,832 --> 00:15:21,459
sometimes when we'd been
336
00:15:21,543 --> 00:15:24,128
together, which
was never a lot,
337
00:15:24,212 --> 00:15:27,756
he'd call out her name, Wendy.
338
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:31,842
And before her,
there was another cow.
339
00:15:31,926 --> 00:15:33,636
Another cow?
340
00:15:33,719 --> 00:15:35,179
Queenie.
341
00:15:35,262 --> 00:15:36,680
I never caught them,
342
00:15:36,763 --> 00:15:39,307
but I saw the
way he looked at her,
343
00:15:39,391 --> 00:15:41,392
and he would call
out her name, too,
344
00:15:41,392 --> 00:15:46,562
and then try to cover
by saying I was his queen.
345
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:50,525
This marriage is not real.
346
00:15:50,607 --> 00:15:53,652
And it hurts.
347
00:15:56,862 --> 00:16:01,199
Mr Biddle, I
need to hear from you.
348
00:16:01,449 --> 00:16:03,993
–Why?
–Because I do.
349
00:16:04,028 --> 00:16:05,834
It's shocking.
350
00:16:05,869 --> 00:16:08,448
Tomorrow you will
sit in that witness chair
351
00:16:08,448 --> 00:16:11,624
and tell me why I shouldn't
352
00:16:11,707 --> 00:16:14,835
annul this union
you've so disgraced.
353
00:16:20,006 --> 00:16:23,675
See, if you request
another lawyer, the judge…
354
00:16:23,710 --> 00:16:26,052
I ain't requesting nothing.
355
00:16:26,427 --> 00:16:28,047
You have to. We
don't get along.
356
00:16:28,047 --> 00:16:30,228
I like you just fine.
357
00:16:30,263 --> 00:16:32,008
You're a big
lawyer with big suck.
358
00:16:32,008 --> 00:16:34,191
You're just what I need.
359
00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:36,477
Look, I can't
bring myself to defend
360
00:16:36,518 --> 00:16:38,687
a man who killed
a 13-year-old girl.
361
00:16:38,722 --> 00:16:40,945
Oh, come on, man.
362
00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:43,650
Probably did her a favor.
363
00:16:45,025 --> 00:16:47,736
–What did you say?
–I got AIDS, Denny Crane.
364
00:16:47,771 --> 00:16:49,529
She could have
had a lot of suffering
365
00:16:49,529 --> 00:16:51,232
ahead because I
really went to town.
366
00:16:51,232 --> 00:16:53,080
You know what I mean?
367
00:16:53,115 --> 00:16:56,409
She's probably
lucky I ended it quick.
368
00:16:58,912 --> 00:17:00,878
Well, if you really have AIDS,
369
00:17:00,913 --> 00:17:02,623
there could be
other psychological
370
00:17:02,623 --> 00:17:04,166
defenses available to us.
Yeah.
371
00:17:04,166 --> 00:17:08,294
Like traumatic
distress, insanity, perhaps.
372
00:17:08,329 --> 00:17:09,503
On the other hand…
373
00:17:09,538 --> 00:17:10,552
What the…
374
00:17:10,587 --> 00:17:11,922
It was an accident.
375
00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:13,381
Oops!
376
00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:14,673
Freeze! Drop it!
377
00:17:14,757 --> 00:17:17,593
He came at me. I
feared for my life.
378
00:17:19,053 --> 00:17:21,429
He should
probably get new counsel.
379
00:17:55,247 --> 00:17:56,881
When's the arraignment?
380
00:17:56,916 --> 00:18:00,335
Paul's trying to head it off.
381
00:18:08,091 --> 00:18:10,259
Denny, for God's sake.
382
00:18:10,294 --> 00:18:12,094
You know, Alan…
383
00:18:13,511 --> 00:18:15,430
I'm old.
384
00:18:16,431 --> 00:18:22,081
And I'm not going to
spend what time I have left,
385
00:18:22,116 --> 00:18:27,732
not even a day, defending
child rapist killers.
386
00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:31,401
I'd rather go to jail myself.
387
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:36,113
I hear you're
afraid of clowns.
388
00:18:38,865 --> 00:18:41,159
First time in my
389
00:18:41,242 --> 00:18:43,461
professional
career I actually froze.
390
00:18:43,487 --> 00:18:46,038
What happened?
391
00:18:49,123 --> 00:18:51,083
When I was 3 years old, my
392
00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:54,648
mother put some decorative,
393
00:18:54,683 --> 00:18:58,130
hideous clown face in my room.
394
00:18:58,165 --> 00:19:00,671
It so terrified me.
395
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,141
I'd wet my bed,
396
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:07,388
too afraid to pass him
on my way to the bathroom.
397
00:19:07,423 --> 00:19:09,229
When I was 8,
398
00:19:09,264 --> 00:19:12,850
I was again
terrorized by a clown
399
00:19:12,933 --> 00:19:16,478
at a parade,
the very same face.
400
00:19:17,854 --> 00:19:20,648
I wet myself right
there in the street.
401
00:19:20,683 --> 00:19:22,489
And today…
402
00:19:22,524 --> 00:19:26,111
the same face again.
403
00:19:26,361 --> 00:19:29,822
I didn't dare get
up for fear I'd…
404
00:19:29,857 --> 00:19:33,283
leave a puddle
right in the courtroom.
405
00:19:34,659 --> 00:19:38,996
You do have issues, don't you?
406
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:43,005
Denny, this is serious.
407
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,919
You could be
looking at real jail time.
408
00:19:56,719 --> 00:19:59,303
Dwight, have you
sought professional help?
409
00:19:59,338 --> 00:20:00,304
Yes.
410
00:20:00,388 --> 00:20:04,850
My therapist, he said the
genesis of my infatuation
411
00:20:04,933 --> 00:20:07,685
could have the unconditional
412
00:20:07,768 --> 00:20:10,438
adoration and
acceptance I get from…
413
00:20:10,521 --> 00:20:11,564
Wendy.
414
00:20:11,647 --> 00:20:12,919
Yes.
415
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:15,252
And didn't your
therapist also tell you
416
00:20:15,252 --> 00:20:18,477
your love for your
wife Jeanie is in play here?
417
00:20:18,561 --> 00:20:19,835
Yes.
418
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,295
Could you elaborate?
419
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:27,683
Well, Jeanie looks
a little like a cow.
420
00:20:28,234 --> 00:20:29,253
You see?
421
00:20:29,337 --> 00:20:31,586
I fell in love with Wendy
422
00:20:31,670 --> 00:20:33,919
because she
reminded me of you.
423
00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:42,523
I won't insult you, Scott,
424
00:20:42,603 --> 00:20:44,256
by condoning Denny's actions.
425
00:20:44,256 --> 00:20:46,655
–Self-defense.
–But a district attorney,
426
00:20:46,689 --> 00:20:49,034
and I know you know
this because I taught you,
427
00:20:49,034 --> 00:20:51,345
a district attorney
should not bring a case
428
00:20:51,345 --> 00:20:52,853
when he lacks a good faith
429
00:20:52,884 --> 00:20:54,375
belief of conviction.
–Hero!
430
00:20:54,375 --> 00:20:56,472
Even if you could
refute self-defense.
431
00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:57,439
Can't.
432
00:20:57,519 --> 00:21:00,463
No jury is going to
convict him of wounding a man
433
00:21:00,543 --> 00:21:03,325
who raped and
strangled a 13-year-old girl.
434
00:21:03,406 --> 00:21:05,945
What message are you
asking me to send, Paul?
435
00:21:05,945 --> 00:21:08,445
If a crime is popular
enough, don't prosecute?
436
00:21:08,445 --> 00:21:10,380
You haven't got evidence.
437
00:21:10,461 --> 00:21:12,315
It's Denny's word against the
438
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,290
child rapist's.
–Feared for my life.
439
00:21:14,290 --> 00:21:18,281
And since you broached
the topic of popularity…
440
00:21:18,362 --> 00:21:21,143
you want to make
attorney general, Scott.
441
00:21:21,225 --> 00:21:23,736
One needs public
support to accomplish that.
442
00:21:23,736 --> 00:21:26,248
How popular do
you think you'll
443
00:21:26,330 --> 00:21:28,802
be if you
prosecute Denny Crane?
444
00:21:28,884 --> 00:21:31,611
Denny Crane.
445
00:21:33,983 --> 00:21:36,892
It's a children's
show, for God's sake.
446
00:21:36,926 --> 00:21:38,886
He's a clown, and he's waxing
447
00:21:38,969 --> 00:21:40,881
on about the end of the world.
448
00:21:40,916 --> 00:21:42,590
Did you talk to him?
449
00:21:42,624 --> 00:21:44,230
Over and over and over.
450
00:21:44,264 --> 00:21:47,282
He said he had a
social responsibility.
451
00:21:47,316 --> 00:21:49,280
My God, we had
viewers clicking
452
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,562
over to Aaron
Brown for a laugh.
453
00:21:51,596 --> 00:21:53,489
Our show became
preachy, unfunny.
454
00:21:53,489 --> 00:21:55,279
Ratings started to reflect it,
455
00:21:55,313 --> 00:21:58,004
and we simply had
to get a new clown.
456
00:21:58,085 --> 00:21:59,716
Zozo talked about 9/11?
457
00:21:59,798 --> 00:22:01,591
Yes, to help children cope.
458
00:22:01,673 --> 00:22:02,896
The Columbine shootings?
459
00:22:02,896 --> 00:22:05,383
Many times he discussed
tragic current events.
460
00:22:05,383 --> 00:22:07,259
So you're firing him for
461
00:22:07,340 --> 00:22:09,216
discussing
serious subject matter,
462
00:22:09,216 --> 00:22:11,866
when he's done so in
the past with your approval?
463
00:22:11,866 --> 00:22:12,844
There is a line.
464
00:22:12,925 --> 00:22:14,638
Telling our
viewers the planet is
465
00:22:14,638 --> 00:22:16,268
about to become
extinct crosses it.
466
00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:18,225
After he told the kids to ask
467
00:22:18,307 --> 00:22:20,184
their parents
about hybrid cars,
468
00:22:20,223 --> 00:22:21,813
that's when he
got fired, wasn't it?
469
00:22:21,813 --> 00:22:23,566
This has nothing
to do with hybrid…
470
00:22:23,566 --> 00:22:26,502
WKNW is owned by an
oil and gas company.
471
00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:28,173
Nothing to do with our
472
00:22:28,254 --> 00:22:29,845
parent company.
He wasn't funny.
473
00:22:29,845 --> 00:22:32,888
We needed a funny clown.
474
00:22:45,915 --> 00:22:47,789
How's it going?
475
00:22:48,130 --> 00:22:50,214
I'm sitting here
trying to come up
476
00:22:50,218 --> 00:22:52,171
with a closing to
defend bestiality.
477
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:53,676
That's how it's going.
478
00:22:53,710 --> 00:22:57,360
You don't have to
defend it so much as…
479
00:22:57,567 --> 00:22:58,914
What's this?
480
00:22:58,949 --> 00:23:00,227
Research.
481
00:23:00,262 --> 00:23:02,833
Do you realize
that studies show
482
00:23:02,916 --> 00:23:05,404
10 to 30% of
sexually active adults
483
00:23:05,438 --> 00:23:08,431
have fantasized or had some
484
00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:11,416
form of
encounter with an animal?
485
00:23:11,451 --> 00:23:13,282
Denise, I…
486
00:23:15,023 --> 00:23:16,972
Are we ready?
487
00:23:17,007 --> 00:23:18,755
All set.
488
00:23:20,206 --> 00:23:22,238
You don't have to treat
me like a leper, Shirley.
489
00:23:22,238 --> 00:23:24,353
I don't have a disease.
490
00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:26,374
Dwight, you're my friend,
491
00:23:26,454 --> 00:23:30,330
and I will try to stand
by you through this but,
492
00:23:30,412 --> 00:23:33,157
let's not pretend you don't
have a serious illness.
493
00:23:33,157 --> 00:23:35,337
There are worse
things than loving an animal.
494
00:23:35,337 --> 00:23:38,043
Really? Name three.
495
00:23:38,123 --> 00:23:40,667
You know, I was
never gonna tell you this.
496
00:23:40,748 --> 00:23:44,503
When you were 13, and your
parents sent Bumpy away,
497
00:23:44,583 --> 00:23:46,482
it wasn't to
some greener pasture
498
00:23:46,482 --> 00:23:48,339
where he'd be
happier like they told you.
499
00:23:48,339 --> 00:23:50,559
Bumpy went to
a slaughterhouse.
500
00:23:50,641 --> 00:23:53,507
And then he
returned to your freezer.
501
00:23:53,588 --> 00:23:55,687
You ate him, Shirley.
502
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:58,150
So don't get so
high and mighty with me.
503
00:23:58,232 --> 00:24:01,226
You ate your precious Bumpy!
504
00:24:10,256 --> 00:24:12,425
Why should I have to close?
505
00:24:12,460 --> 00:24:14,289
Why should I have
done everything else?
506
00:24:14,289 --> 00:24:15,287
Exactly.
507
00:24:15,371 --> 00:24:19,237
You've got a
connection going that…
508
00:24:19,446 --> 00:24:20,662
I lack.
509
00:24:20,697 --> 00:24:25,286
Why are you
afraid of clowns? Really.
510
00:24:26,496 --> 00:24:28,560
Because…
511
00:24:28,595 --> 00:24:30,590
they're evil.
512
00:24:30,625 --> 00:24:33,510
And it simply isn't right
513
00:24:33,545 --> 00:24:38,801
for parents to tell
their children to just…
514
00:24:38,836 --> 00:24:42,222
trust them so.
515
00:24:43,641 --> 00:24:47,604
Did a clown ever…
do anything to you?
516
00:24:47,639 --> 00:24:49,356
No!
517
00:24:49,689 --> 00:24:51,775
They're just…
518
00:24:51,810 --> 00:24:53,587
evil.
519
00:24:53,622 --> 00:24:55,363
Alan…
520
00:24:55,654 --> 00:24:57,288
you need to close.
521
00:24:57,323 --> 00:24:58,950
First, you have
a better grip on
522
00:24:58,950 --> 00:25:00,820
this whole
global warming issue,
523
00:25:00,820 --> 00:25:02,621
which I tend to dismiss as…
524
00:25:02,656 --> 00:25:04,244
Fuzzy math.
525
00:25:04,279 --> 00:25:05,833
And second,
526
00:25:05,917 --> 00:25:07,835
at some point, every man,
527
00:25:07,919 --> 00:25:09,795
even the half-evolved kind,
528
00:25:09,879 --> 00:25:11,882
needs to confront his fears.
529
00:25:11,965 --> 00:25:16,596
You need to stand up
and deliver this closing.
530
00:25:16,763 --> 00:25:19,182
Will the clown be there?
531
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:37,453
Animal rights activists
are obviously very upset,
532
00:25:37,453 --> 00:25:39,790
though it should
be noted there is no
533
00:25:39,873 --> 00:25:42,153
evidence that the
cow ever complained.
534
00:25:42,167 --> 00:25:45,164
Your client's behavior
doesn't shock you, counsel?
535
00:25:45,164 --> 00:25:49,258
Of course it does.
But sex with animals?
536
00:25:49,293 --> 00:25:51,018
It's hardly a new concept.
537
00:25:51,053 --> 00:25:54,014
Greek literature is
full of it. So is art.
538
00:25:54,049 --> 00:25:55,892
Chagall. Picasso.
539
00:25:55,975 --> 00:25:57,769
Rembrandt.
They've all depicted it.
540
00:25:57,769 --> 00:26:00,821
To this day, men
still dream of mermaids.
541
00:26:00,856 --> 00:26:04,693
And what woman hasn't had a
friend with a half-man,
542
00:26:04,728 --> 00:26:07,370
half-bull fantasy?
543
00:26:07,405 --> 00:26:09,914
Your honor, I
need you to listen.
544
00:26:09,949 --> 00:26:13,287
Look, if you intend to
romanticize the idea…
545
00:26:13,370 --> 00:26:14,955
Shakespeare already did that
546
00:26:14,955 --> 00:26:16,415
in “A
midsummer night's dream.”
547
00:26:16,415 --> 00:26:20,337
So did Yeats in his famous
poem “Leda and the swan.”
548
00:26:20,420 --> 00:26:24,050
“How can these
terrified, vague fingers”
549
00:26:24,133 --> 00:26:28,888
“push the feathered glory
from her loosened thighs?”
550
00:26:28,972 --> 00:26:30,474
Lord, love a duck!
551
00:26:30,557 --> 00:26:31,683
So did Leda.
552
00:26:31,767 --> 00:26:33,810
And who can forget
King Kong and Fay Wray?
553
00:26:33,810 --> 00:26:36,356
And where did
Stuart Little come from?
554
00:26:36,439 --> 00:26:39,734
Sex with a cow is outrageous.
555
00:26:39,817 --> 00:26:41,278
It's gross.
556
00:26:41,362 --> 00:26:42,905
And it's every bit as
557
00:26:42,988 --> 00:26:44,531
shocking as the
plaintiff contends,
558
00:26:44,531 --> 00:26:46,701
but it is not
grounds for annulment.
559
00:26:46,785 --> 00:26:49,662
And if you suddenly
declare that it is, watch out.
560
00:26:49,662 --> 00:26:51,042
Because there very well
561
00:26:51,081 --> 00:26:52,416
may be more of this out there
562
00:26:52,416 --> 00:26:55,753
than any of us
want to believe.
563
00:26:56,420 --> 00:26:58,680
He cheated on his wife.
564
00:26:58,715 --> 00:27:01,009
She's entitled to a divorce.
565
00:27:01,051 --> 00:27:03,471
But bestiality is not, never
566
00:27:03,554 --> 00:27:05,932
has been
grounds for annulment.
567
00:27:05,967 --> 00:27:08,435
By the way, in some states
568
00:27:08,518 --> 00:27:10,938
it's not even
expressly outlawed.
569
00:27:11,563 --> 00:27:16,986
Of course, she's humiliated
and feeling disgraced.
570
00:27:17,021 --> 00:27:19,614
But that
doesn't change the fact
571
00:27:19,650 --> 00:27:22,530
they had a marriage.
572
00:27:38,694 --> 00:27:40,407
None of this is to say we
573
00:27:40,407 --> 00:27:42,031
believe in Mr.
Crane's innocence.
574
00:27:42,031 --> 00:27:42,993
We don't.
575
00:27:42,999 --> 00:27:44,831
But we have to
face the reality
576
00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:46,343
we lack a good faith
577
00:27:46,343 --> 00:27:47,840
belief of
securing a conviction.
578
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:49,519
We're therefore declining to
579
00:27:49,519 --> 00:27:51,108
make an arrest at this time.
580
00:27:51,108 --> 00:27:54,242
Personally, I am
disgusted by his conduct,
581
00:27:54,277 --> 00:27:56,333
and I will report his actions
582
00:27:56,333 --> 00:27:58,381
to the board of bar overseers.
583
00:27:58,381 --> 00:28:00,387
The putz.
584
00:28:00,847 --> 00:28:03,313
–You ought to be happy.
–I'm not happy.
585
00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:04,979
He insulted me
on live television.
586
00:28:04,979 --> 00:28:06,622
You dodged a bullet, Denny.
587
00:28:06,657 --> 00:28:09,708
And took one right
in the ass. The putz!
588
00:28:10,836 --> 00:28:12,551
He had incorporated many
589
00:28:12,634 --> 00:28:14,348
serious subjects
into his programs,
590
00:28:14,348 --> 00:28:16,647
all with the
station's approval.
591
00:28:16,730 --> 00:28:18,862
But when he moved on to global
592
00:28:18,946 --> 00:28:20,991
warming, carbon
dioxide pollution,
593
00:28:21,036 --> 00:28:23,084
he suddenly had to be stopped?
594
00:28:23,167 --> 00:28:25,968
Because he was
suddenly less funny?
595
00:28:26,052 --> 00:28:27,097
No.
596
00:28:27,180 --> 00:28:31,402
Because the station
was owned by Globoco oil.
597
00:28:31,485 --> 00:28:34,997
This discharge was
wrongful. It was in bad faith.
598
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,881
My client has
built this company's
599
00:28:37,965 --> 00:28:40,639
fortunes for 13
years being Zozo.
600
00:28:40,724 --> 00:28:42,228
It is his livelihood.
601
00:28:42,312 --> 00:28:45,530
He's perhaps the most popular
clown in this country.
602
00:28:45,614 --> 00:28:48,080
And this court
should issue a TRO
603
00:28:48,164 --> 00:28:52,092
to stop this outrageous
travesty of justice.
604
00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:19,985
I could be wrong, but a
605
00:29:20,066 --> 00:29:23,005
clown's main
job is to be funny.
606
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,497
Global warming is not.
607
00:29:25,537 --> 00:29:28,762
Your honor, the
Arctic polar ice cap is
608
00:29:28,844 --> 00:29:31,783
declining at the
rate of 9% per decade.
609
00:29:31,818 --> 00:29:34,723
We're talking
about a rising sea level
610
00:29:34,757 --> 00:29:36,845
that could wipe out huge
611
00:29:36,927 --> 00:29:38,927
pieces of the
world's landmass,
612
00:29:39,009 --> 00:29:41,744
more importantly, us.
613
00:29:41,826 --> 00:29:45,337
Massachusetts,
California, our coastlines.
614
00:29:45,418 --> 00:29:48,439
That simply isn't funny.
615
00:29:48,521 --> 00:29:50,930
Unless, of course,
you live in Nevada.
616
00:29:51,011 --> 00:29:52,195
Don't get me wrong.
617
00:29:52,276 --> 00:29:55,746
Millions of
Americans go to sleep at night
618
00:29:55,828 --> 00:29:58,768
praying that the
nation's number one clown
619
00:29:58,849 --> 00:30:01,788
will finally start
caring about global warming.
620
00:30:01,870 --> 00:30:05,544
But this is a
children's entertainment show.
621
00:30:05,625 --> 00:30:07,136
And let me ask you.
622
00:30:07,218 --> 00:30:09,749
If our own
government is allowed to
623
00:30:09,830 --> 00:30:12,321
edit and alter
scientific findings,
624
00:30:12,402 --> 00:30:14,321
if it can control the
625
00:30:14,403 --> 00:30:16,322
information
flow on this subject,
626
00:30:16,322 --> 00:30:20,698
why then shouldn't a
private television station
627
00:30:20,792 --> 00:30:24,650
get to enjoy
that same freedom?
628
00:30:24,745 --> 00:30:27,145
You're a clown.
629
00:30:27,239 --> 00:30:29,197
Be funny.
630
00:30:32,028 --> 00:30:34,860
Global warming is not.
631
00:31:08,926 --> 00:31:10,754
In 35 years, Denny, I have
632
00:31:10,833 --> 00:31:12,655
never forbidden
you to do anything.
633
00:31:12,655 --> 00:31:13,575
Don't start now.
634
00:31:13,654 --> 00:31:16,118
I will call the
partners together right now.
635
00:31:16,118 --> 00:31:17,071
What's going on?
636
00:31:17,150 --> 00:31:18,979
He's going on…
637
00:31:19,058 --> 00:31:20,608
“Larry King.”
638
00:31:20,688 --> 00:31:22,277
What?
Tonight. He's
639
00:31:22,356 --> 00:31:23,946
catching the 7
o'clock shuttle.
640
00:31:23,946 --> 00:31:25,547
Denny, you can't be serious.
641
00:31:25,576 --> 00:31:27,726
Why does everybody
insist I can't be serious?
642
00:31:27,726 --> 00:31:30,035
The district attorney
643
00:31:30,114 --> 00:31:32,305
slathered me on
live television.
644
00:31:32,385 --> 00:31:34,017
I think you mean “slandered.”
645
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:35,570
–Well, I'll
have the last word
646
00:31:35,570 --> 00:31:36,725
Listen to me.
647
00:31:36,804 --> 00:31:39,154
They could
still bring charges,
648
00:31:39,233 --> 00:31:41,424
if you say something
to incriminate yourself.
649
00:31:41,424 --> 00:31:43,486
Give me some
credit, will you, Paul?
650
00:31:43,535 --> 00:31:44,490
Credit?
651
00:31:44,570 --> 00:31:47,837
You shot out your
client's kneecaps!
652
00:31:47,943 --> 00:31:51,630
The public needs to
hear from Denny Crane!
653
00:31:51,737 --> 00:31:53,983
TiVo me, will you?
654
00:31:59,170 --> 00:32:01,805
Please, God, have mercy.
655
00:32:02,851 --> 00:32:04,295
How could you not stop him?
656
00:32:04,295 --> 00:32:05,727
We tried to stop him. We
657
00:32:05,753 --> 00:32:07,073
tried to get you to stop him.
658
00:32:07,073 --> 00:32:08,455
Larry King.
659
00:32:08,490 --> 00:32:12,951
Alan, judge is back
with a ruling. Let's go.
660
00:32:13,535 --> 00:32:15,536
–Tonight?
–Come on.
661
00:32:15,571 --> 00:32:17,502
Can't you go by yourself?
662
00:32:17,537 --> 00:32:20,831
–It's just a ruling.
–You're doing this.
663
00:32:28,127 --> 00:32:29,843
Disgusting.
664
00:32:29,878 --> 00:32:32,672
Regrettably, this
fetish with animals
665
00:32:32,707 --> 00:32:34,090
may indeed be more
666
00:32:34,173 --> 00:32:35,632
prevalent than
we'd like to think.
667
00:32:35,632 --> 00:32:37,925
And it's a slippery slope.
668
00:32:38,008 --> 00:32:40,551
Many women derive sexual
669
00:32:40,635 --> 00:32:43,096
pleasure from
riding on a horse. Sick.
670
00:32:43,179 --> 00:32:45,555
But we can't just go
around annulling marriages
671
00:32:45,555 --> 00:32:50,975
every time Debbie
goes for a canter. Gross.
672
00:32:51,059 --> 00:32:54,770
I'm afraid your only
legal recourse, Mrs Biddle,
673
00:32:54,853 --> 00:32:58,104
is divorce.
674
00:32:59,105 --> 00:33:01,732
Sick!
675
00:33:04,025 --> 00:33:06,486
We're adjourned.
676
00:33:09,695 --> 00:33:12,114
–Congratulations.
–Thank you.
677
00:33:21,370 --> 00:33:23,372
I may have
manifested my love for
678
00:33:23,455 --> 00:33:25,408
you in ways that
brought you shame,
679
00:33:25,408 --> 00:33:27,099
perhaps revulsion,
680
00:33:27,134 --> 00:33:28,792
but I do love you.
681
00:33:28,833 --> 00:33:32,169
And love is hard
enough to find, Jeanie,
682
00:33:32,252 --> 00:33:35,588
without attaching a
lot of restrictions.
683
00:33:35,623 --> 00:33:38,180
“A lot of restrictions”?
684
00:33:38,215 --> 00:33:41,549
It's not like I set
a lot of ground rules.
685
00:33:41,591 --> 00:33:44,052
But limiting yourself to a
686
00:33:44,135 --> 00:33:46,511
single species is one of them,
687
00:33:46,553 --> 00:33:48,721
our species, Dwight.
688
00:33:48,756 --> 00:33:50,187
I broke it off.
689
00:33:50,222 --> 00:33:51,721
I'm gonna get rid of her.
690
00:33:51,723 --> 00:33:54,725
I think I'd like to
sell the whole farm,
691
00:33:54,808 --> 00:33:57,727
move to the city,
outside of all temptation.
692
00:33:57,762 --> 00:33:59,561
You broke it off?
693
00:33:59,596 --> 00:34:01,396
Yes.
694
00:34:01,897 --> 00:34:04,774
You're never
going to see her again?
695
00:34:04,809 --> 00:34:06,779
I promise.
696
00:34:28,970 --> 00:34:31,282
Welcome back to
“Larry King live.”
697
00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:33,595
And with me now
is Denny Crane, the
698
00:34:33,684 --> 00:34:36,575
legendary Boston
attorney who just yesterday…
699
00:34:36,613 --> 00:34:39,462
apparently opened
fire on his own client.
700
00:34:39,500 --> 00:34:41,970
–It was self-defense.
–You're kidding.
701
00:34:42,003 --> 00:34:43,337
Self-defense?
You're not really
702
00:34:43,337 --> 00:34:44,509
asking people to believe that?
703
00:34:44,509 --> 00:34:46,299
Larry, it's a
crime to shoot people,
704
00:34:46,299 --> 00:34:48,571
even child-raping, murdering
705
00:34:48,649 --> 00:34:50,953
schmucks like my
client was and still is.
706
00:34:50,954 --> 00:34:52,796
Okay. But
clearly you're not saying
707
00:34:52,796 --> 00:34:55,702
if the defendant is
repugnant enough, fair game,
708
00:34:55,783 --> 00:34:57,748
you're entitled as a criminal
709
00:34:57,830 --> 00:34:59,832
defense attorney
to shoot someone?
710
00:34:59,835 --> 00:35:01,023
No, no, no.
Come on.
711
00:35:01,104 --> 00:35:02,373
It's self, it's self-defense.
712
00:35:02,373 --> 00:35:04,134
But even if I did
713
00:35:04,215 --> 00:35:06,672
simply choose to
shoot him, which I
714
00:35:06,753 --> 00:35:09,086
didn't, because
it's against the law,
715
00:35:09,168 --> 00:35:10,519
so what?
716
00:35:10,601 --> 00:35:12,566
“So what”?
Larry, you
717
00:35:12,648 --> 00:35:14,490
know what the real problem is?
718
00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:16,986
Too many
criminals get away with it.
719
00:35:17,068 --> 00:35:18,893
We got
hundreds of thousands of
720
00:35:18,910 --> 00:35:20,671
unsolved
murders in this country.
721
00:35:20,671 --> 00:35:21,940
So what you're saying is
722
00:35:21,940 --> 00:35:23,167
it's okay for defense lawyers
723
00:35:23,167 --> 00:35:25,909
To take the law
into their own hands.
724
00:35:25,992 --> 00:35:26,974
No! Come on.
725
00:35:27,056 --> 00:35:29,676
You know what's
gonna happen with
726
00:35:29,757 --> 00:35:32,337
this child
rapist murdering scum?
727
00:35:32,418 --> 00:35:33,400
Ashcroft.
728
00:35:33,482 --> 00:35:35,488
God bless him,
he's gonna swoop in,
729
00:35:35,488 --> 00:35:36,675
and he's gonna transfer
730
00:35:36,675 --> 00:35:37,944
this case to the federal court
731
00:35:37,944 --> 00:35:39,499
so we can impose
the death penalty.
732
00:35:39,499 --> 00:35:43,183
Denny, Ashcroft is no
longer the attorney general.
733
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:46,718
Well, whatever.
The Spanish guy.
734
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,568
Even better.
735
00:35:48,650 --> 00:35:50,994
My client's gonna
get the death penalty,
736
00:35:50,994 --> 00:35:52,926
bad knees and all,
because he deserves it.
737
00:35:52,926 --> 00:35:55,804
And all the bleeding
liberals and all of Hollywood
738
00:35:55,804 --> 00:35:58,064
will come running to defend
739
00:35:58,147 --> 00:36:00,335
him, make him a cause celèbre.
740
00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:04,683
But who's crying for
the 13-year-old girl?
741
00:36:04,766 --> 00:36:07,767
The problem with the
criminal justice system,
742
00:36:07,767 --> 00:36:09,534
the criminals have more
743
00:36:09,534 --> 00:36:11,220
rights, they
have more attention,
744
00:36:11,220 --> 00:36:14,138
they get more
sympathy than the victims.
745
00:36:14,221 --> 00:36:16,399
It's disgusting, Larry.
746
00:36:16,482 --> 00:36:20,058
It's, it's…
747
00:36:20,141 --> 00:36:22,978
It's disgusting.
Let's go to the listeners.
748
00:36:23,060 --> 00:36:27,194
Hey! Donna in
Cincinnati, what do you got?
749
00:36:28,537 --> 00:36:31,067
And while I find
that the petitioner may
750
00:36:31,087 --> 00:36:33,455
very well have a
legitimate cause of action,
751
00:36:33,455 --> 00:36:35,317
I don't find such a
752
00:36:35,359 --> 00:36:37,446
substantial
likelihood of victory
753
00:36:37,481 --> 00:36:39,730
that would allow
me to issue a TRO.
754
00:36:39,766 --> 00:36:42,016
Accordingly, I
find for the defendant.
755
00:36:42,016 --> 00:36:44,090
I wish you all good luck
756
00:36:44,174 --> 00:36:46,157
and a satisfactory resolution.
757
00:36:46,192 --> 00:36:48,054
Adjourned.
758
00:36:48,687 --> 00:36:50,747
Oh, thank you
both. That's a relief.
759
00:36:50,747 --> 00:36:52,820
We're going to
have to settle this.
760
00:36:52,820 --> 00:36:54,465
We will.
761
00:36:54,549 --> 00:36:56,194
Okay then. Let's go home.
762
00:36:56,230 --> 00:36:58,038
Alan.
763
00:37:02,581 --> 00:37:04,690
You have to do this.
764
00:37:04,724 --> 00:37:06,798
You're 44 years old.
765
00:37:11,261 --> 00:37:14,905
Tell him you're a
fan. Shake his hand.
766
00:37:14,939 --> 00:37:16,682
Will you go with me?
767
00:37:16,716 --> 00:37:18,425
Right by your side.
768
00:37:35,251 --> 00:37:39,352
Mr Zozo, I, uh…
769
00:37:39,387 --> 00:37:43,487
I just wanted to say…
770
00:37:43,521 --> 00:37:46,919
how much I've
always enjoyed your work.
771
00:37:46,954 --> 00:37:48,885
Thank you.
772
00:37:49,990 --> 00:37:51,464
Would you like
to squeeze my nose?
773
00:37:51,464 --> 00:37:52,447
No, no, no.
774
00:37:52,528 --> 00:37:55,845
You've been more than kind.
775
00:37:55,927 --> 00:37:57,671
Alan.
776
00:38:02,608 --> 00:38:05,460
Well, perhaps
one little squeeze.
777
00:38:43,294 --> 00:38:45,446
You waited up for me.
778
00:38:45,481 --> 00:38:47,599
And I've been frantic.
779
00:38:47,850 --> 00:38:50,734
You, out at all hours.
780
00:38:51,654 --> 00:38:53,494
Did you see the show?
781
00:38:53,529 --> 00:38:54,838
I did.
782
00:38:54,873 --> 00:38:57,422
You were inimitable.
783
00:39:00,224 --> 00:39:02,941
Denny, what possessed you?
784
00:39:04,655 --> 00:39:07,518
Everybody's so
convinced I lost it,
785
00:39:07,553 --> 00:39:10,137
I was becoming
convinced myself.
786
00:39:10,172 --> 00:39:12,722
So I decided to
sail right into it.
787
00:39:12,757 --> 00:39:15,649
And I was Denny Crane.
788
00:39:15,684 --> 00:39:17,738
Yes, you were.
789
00:39:18,741 --> 00:39:21,418
I squeezed a
clown's nose tonight.
790
00:39:21,501 --> 00:39:22,469
Good for you.
791
00:39:22,504 --> 00:39:25,806
Guess we're never too
old to conquer our fears.
792
00:39:25,842 --> 00:39:27,312
I got a call from the
793
00:39:27,353 --> 00:39:28,774
Republican
national party tonight.
794
00:39:28,774 --> 00:39:31,108
They think I might
have a future in politics.
795
00:39:31,108 --> 00:39:33,749
They want to put
some feelers out.
796
00:39:33,784 --> 00:39:38,013
Maybe me running for mayor.
797
00:39:38,138 --> 00:39:40,312
Of Boston?
798
00:39:42,652 --> 00:39:44,994
We wouldn't get to
be flamingos again.
799
00:39:45,029 --> 00:39:46,464
Of course we would.
800
00:39:46,499 --> 00:39:49,968
What would you do as
mayor, Denny, really?
801
00:39:50,511 --> 00:39:53,229
Oh, I don't know. I'd, uh…
802
00:39:53,438 --> 00:39:56,280
attack Rhode island.
803
00:39:56,615 --> 00:39:59,123
It's small.
804
00:39:59,207 --> 00:40:01,339
What was the word you used to
805
00:40:01,422 --> 00:40:03,428
describe me on
the show tonight?
806
00:40:03,512 --> 00:40:05,101
–Inimitable.
–That's it.
807
00:40:05,184 --> 00:40:08,361
That's the kind
of mayor I would be.
808
00:40:08,445 --> 00:40:10,828
Inimitable.
809
00:40:13,461 --> 00:40:16,095
It's fun being me.
810
00:40:18,269 --> 00:40:20,867
Is it fun being you?
811
00:40:20,902 --> 00:40:23,996
Most of the
time, yes, actually.
812
00:40:24,031 --> 00:40:26,879
Well, what else is there?
813
00:40:26,914 --> 00:40:29,137
Indeed.53318
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.