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This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
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No way!
3
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Er...
4
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Gosh! Where's the hole?
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00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,760
ARDAL GROANS
SOPHIE CRIES OUT
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00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,800
CHRIS TRUMPETS
Are you having a laugh?
7
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GRUNTING
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JUDI GASPS
CHRIS CRIES OUT
Ooh!
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00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:28,080
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,360
Hello, and welcome
to another edition of Taskmaster.
11
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I'm Greg Davies, I'm middle-aged
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00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,680
but the pheromones I emit still
compel sailor-filled ships
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to dash themselves onto the rocks.
14
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Watch them work their magic
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as five sensible, and in some cases,
intelligent comedians
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get angry about rubber ducks.
17
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,760
All for the chance to take home
a trophy that is yet
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00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,840
to make its £3 reserve on eBay.
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00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:00,240
Feast your eyes on their hopeful
little faces.
20
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:01,920
They are...
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00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,680
..Ardal O'Hanlon...
22
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,400
APPLAUSE
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00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,400
..Bridget Christie...
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APPLAUSE
25
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,800
..Chris Ramsey... APPLAUSE
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00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,000
..Judi Love... APPLAUSE
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..and Sophie Duker.
28
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,640
APPLAUSE
29
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,240
And now for a man who once confided
in me that his first French kiss
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00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,240
was with his second cousin, Jacob,
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00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:25,400
now a legal underwriter on
the Isle of Man.
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It's little Alex Horne.
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APPLAUSE
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All right, sweet cheeks?
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Well, I'm just feeling quite pleased
with myself today.
36
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Mm-hm. I've done my, uh,
chores for the year,
37
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:45,080
I've finished my letter to Santa.
38
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:52,560
"Dear Santa, this year I want
spaghetti, press-up equipment floor,
39
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,920
"uh, a million earrings
and infinity wishes,
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"cos that way...
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"Thank you, Alex."
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LAUGHTER
And off we go.
43
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,720
Let's hear about today's
Prize Task category please, Alex.
44
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,000
Here you go.
They had to bring in today
45
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,080
the object that you would most like
to show to an alien.
46
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,720
Five points will be given
to the owner of the object
47
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,600
Greg thinks is the best one to show
to an alien
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00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,560
and all five objects
will go home with the person
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00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,680
who has the most points
at the end of the episode.
50
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,880
Whether they will ever get
to show them to an alien,
51
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:25,520
I'm afraid I just don't know
at this stage, Greg.
52
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,280
All scripted. Yeah. Incredible.
53
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:30,800
Bridget Christie.
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00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,240
Oh, me first? Yeah, why not?
55
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Ooh. Well, I thought that I would
show an alien the film ET.
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00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,520
He'd get... I'd get all cosy,
57
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get some treats in and then say,
58
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,840
"This is what we think you're like."
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And then we could watch the film
and I'd go,
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"Do you do that?"
And they'd go, "Oh, you know,
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00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,120
"none of us have done anything
like that really."
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00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,480
Do you think aliens would like that
representation of them?
63
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:03,480
I think they would be going, "Who
the hell is this guy?" You know.
64
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,640
What, ET?
65
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,360
He needs to be sacked.
Yeah. This is rubbish.
66
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,280
He needs to be sacked
from the aliens. Yeah.
67
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,680
Sophie, can you beat ET?
68
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,680
The answer is yes, by the way.
Yeah. Yes.
69
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,280
I think the thing about the aliens
is that they're a threat
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00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,400
so I would show them
a historical artefact.
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A portrait of me and my housemates
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but in the style of
a Dutch militia company.
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00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:31,040
Well, I, I, I feel like I've had
a stroke at this stage.
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THEY LAUGH
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00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,600
So you'd show it to the aliens.
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00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:38,360
I'd show it because
they want to know about the timeline
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00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,720
but this would confuse their
understanding of the timeline.
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00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,400
Enabling you to...
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Travel through time.
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00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,800
I dunno...
I dunno what's going on here.
81
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,520
He'll be like, "Let's go,
how are you here?
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00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,040
"Why aren't you in the Netherlands?"
83
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,320
I think they'd spend ages
analysing this. Yeah.
84
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,760
I think they'd spend most of their
time just...just colouring it in.
85
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,240
Judi. Yes. This should be fun.
86
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,160
What do you think's
the best thing to show an alien?
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00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,920
I would show an alien a ruby cubey.
88
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,160
That's what I call it, OK.
89
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,360
Yeah, cool.
90
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,800
I'm showing him this because these
aliens always going on like,
91
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,600
you know, they're so smart,
they're smarter than us,
92
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,320
I would be like, "Fix that, innit.
93
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:34,240
"Do that in ten seconds
and then I know you're real."
94
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,760
What if they had...
if you had a competition...
95
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,640
Yeah. ..and they asked you
to do it really quickly.
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00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,840
I would say, "I am Queen Zufufu
97
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:46,800
"and I do not take part in these
things because..."
98
00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,800
And your Queen Zufufu is powerful.
99
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:52,440
It's something I made up,
I made up in my head. No way.
100
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,600
I thought you really were
Queen Zufufu.
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00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,640
ARDAL: You're not Queen Zufufu?
Oh, no. No. No.
102
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:58,920
So if I've got this right,
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00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,320
you would present the alien
with a Rubik's Cube
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00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,560
and announce yourself Queen Zufufu. Yes.
105
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,720
And expect them to be your servants?
106
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:07,800
Yes.
107
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:10,760
OK. Thank you.
108
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,960
Yeah. Good, good answer.
109
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Chris.
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00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,520
It's me robot lawnmower.
111
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,200
Yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful.
112
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,200
I mean, separately,
away from this question,
113
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,560
that's a lovely bit of kit.
114
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,320
Thank you.
115
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:29,000
The reason is cos I feel like aliens
would either be well impressed
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00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:33,240
or they'd improve it somehow,
which'd be win-win for me.
117
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:36,320
I...I am struggling to see
how it would excite
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00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,120
the alien life force because of
their advanced technology, Chris.
119
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,440
Well, we don't know,
it's all hypothet... I mean, Al...
I'm looking at you, Alex.
120
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,920
You didn't even like the bit at
the beginning. Saw an alien,
121
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,920
we don't know anything about
these aliens...
Ooh, he's gone too Geordie for me.
122
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,880
Absolutely.
123
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:53,080
Yeah.
124
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,200
LAUGHTER
125
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,880
Right, let's see if Ardal can beat
robotic lawnmower.
126
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:03,240
OK, the best thing, uh, to show an
alien would be a mirror.
127
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,200
Ooh. Like as in Frankincense?
128
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,520
Uh, no, a mirr-or.
129
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:10,640
Mirrurr.
130
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,400
Oh, you think it would be a mirror?
131
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,960
A hand-held mirror...
132
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:20,480
..because it's the thing, like,
we made the leap
133
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,800
towards self-awareness
when we invented the mirror
134
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:27,200
and if I held the mirror over
my face like this... Hmm.
135
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,440
..and met the alien,
so the alien would have to have
136
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,920
a good look at themselves,
possibly for the first time ever,
137
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,400
and I think if they had
a good look at themselves,
138
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,840
saw all the heads
and the slithery bits and the drool
139
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,360
and the slime, I mean,
I think, you know,
140
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,520
they might become quite
self-conscious and...and retreat.
141
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:43,840
Now... OK.
142
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,240
I want you all to take note
from what Ardal's done there.
143
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,760
He's brought something
totally shit in...
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00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,560
LAUGHTER
145
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,320
..but what he's done is
146
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,960
he's constructed quite a
clever argument
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00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,360
that means I can give him
more points than all of you.
148
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,240
So, is it points time?
It feels like it might be.
149
00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:06,400
I'm going to give Ardal
five points... Right, well.
150
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,160
..straight away, I'll tell you that.
151
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,560
APPLAUSE
152
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,040
Good work. Good work.
153
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,720
There's got to be a gulf between
Ardal and the others.
154
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:15,800
Of course there has.
155
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:19,600
Right, I'm going to give all
of the others two points each.
156
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,040
GASPS
157
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,160
Wow. Wow. Well, well done,
Ardal O'Hanlon gets five points.
158
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,680
APPLAUSE
159
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,840
Right, let's go.
The competition proper.
160
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,920
Yes. We're in. Yes, and we start
with one of my pet names for you,
161
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,680
Greg, it's the Pretty Maypole.
Here we go.
162
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:51,560
Hello, Ardal. Hi.
163
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:52,680
Lovely.
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00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,040
This is fun.
165
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,800
Oh, of course. They're all fun.
166
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,760
No, they're not. Oh.
167
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,840
It's a bit muddy and animals.
168
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,520
What animals were there?
169
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,080
Moos. Ah.
170
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,760
"Either tie a ribbon
round the maypole
171
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,160
"or strike it with a ping pong ball.
172
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,800
"You must be properly blindfolded
at all times."
173
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:15,320
Thank you, of course I must.
174
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,560
"And must never step
beyond the rope."
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00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,560
And when we say beyond the rope,
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you can step on the rope,
but not over it.
177
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,800
"Fastest wins.
178
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,960
"Your time starts when Alex gives
you a thumbs up."
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00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,960
CHRIS: Goggles, ribbon.
180
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,480
Is that a papoose.
181
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:32,920
You recognise the papoose?
182
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,040
Papa-who?
183
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,480
Oh, it's like a little baby.
184
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,520
Wait, I'm crying already.
185
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,400
Ah. Cos I'm feeling quite maternal.
186
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:44,480
Right.
187
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,040
Like, these are like my eggs.
188
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,840
They shouldn't be out and about.
189
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,120
Are you sure this is just not
for your pleasure?
190
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,400
Bit of both.
191
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,520
Oh, me eyelashes. Me eyelashes.
192
00:08:54,560 --> 00:09:01,080
Ow. You've never played role-playing
things at home, have you?
193
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,600
Have we got thumbs up?
194
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,280
No, I won't give you a thumbs up
till you spin round ten times.
195
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,760
It doesn't say I've got to do that.
196
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,800
I know, but that's what's
going to happen.
197
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,200
Oh. One.
198
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,280
Was that one? One.
199
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,520
It's a bit cruel, Alex.
200
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:15,560
Uh-huh.
201
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,040
Are you counting?
202
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,080
Yes.
203
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,880
Are you counting? Yes.
204
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:32,040
Happy?
205
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,120
Yes.
206
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,080
Oh, my God.
207
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,480
I'm actually losing my balance
a little bit now.
208
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,240
That's definitely ten times.
209
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,000
No, that's 12 now.
210
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,320
You...you said ten.
211
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:44,560
I've given you the thumbs up.
212
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,440
Oh, my God, you absolute twat face.
213
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,280
Ardal, I wrote down,
I hope this isn't insulting,
214
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,840
I wrote down, "Increasingly,
Ardal puts me in mind of
215
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,400
"a provincial vicar who comes round
to help in the garden
216
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,000
"but makes things worse."
217
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,680
Looks quite fun, I'm excited.
Let's go.
218
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,440
OK. Right, well, we're going
to start
219
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:13,360
with Ardal, Judi and Bridget.
Here are their attempts.
220
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,480
Have you given me the thumbs up?
221
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,000
Yep. Oh, OK.
222
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,280
Alex.
223
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,720
Yes. Am I close to the rope?
224
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,680
Hmm. You've been closer.
225
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:39,960
Was that good?
226
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000
One. Two.
227
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,800
Is it hitting it?
228
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:46,920
I don't know where I am.
229
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,960
Nope. I don't know where I am.
My head's spinning.
230
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,040
Oh, what's this?
231
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,960
That's not a pillar I don't think.
232
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,240
No.
233
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,040
Is that a fence? Yes.
234
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,400
Eh? The fence is miles away.
235
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,280
Maypole's flap...
236
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,480
Uh-huh. ..in my experience.
237
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,360
So you're listening out for
flapping?
238
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,920
I'm listening...listening out
for flapping. OK.
239
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,680
No, that's, that's you flapping,
Alex, is it?
240
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:27,760
I'm not flapping.
241
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,640
I'm just sort of wandering around.
242
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:30,800
Ooh.
243
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,080
Oh, is that another bloody fence?
244
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,560
Yeah, you've found the other fence.
245
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,760
Oh, my God.
246
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,480
Ooh, there's the rope.
247
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:43,880
If I just move the rope
up to the maypole
248
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,720
and then just not go beyond it.
249
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:46,960
OK.
250
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,320
Ooh, shit.
251
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,000
SHE LAUGHS
252
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,440
What are you doing, Judi?
253
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,240
I'm trying.
254
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,080
SHE SNORTS
255
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,360
POLE DINGS
256
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,920
I've stopped the clock.
ARDAL CHEERS
257
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,560
Yes. Ah.
258
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,120
What's that?
259
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,760
Ooh.
260
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:20,680
Well, I've got both now so I just
need to find the maypole. Yes.
261
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,040
Judi, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
262
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,400
Alex? Yes.
263
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,080
Yeah, I'm trying to get the
ribbon out.
264
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,040
Oh, no, that's not the ribbon.
The ribbon was on your... Ah.
265
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,200
I'm done.
266
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:36,400
Ooh.
267
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,400
It's obviously over here.
268
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,560
Ooh.
269
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:44,680
Striking.
270
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,720
Yes, I've stopped the clock, congratulations.
271
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,280
SHE LAUGHS
272
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,920
Right, I take back what I said
about Ardal being
273
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,920
an ineffective provincial vicar
274
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,960
because that was an elite athlete.
275
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,880
That was someone with a system
and I hope you don't mind,
276
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,960
I wrote down what I think
the system would be named
277
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,960
and it's called
Listening To The Flap.
278
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,000
Right, onto Bridget's system.
279
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,200
System? Yeah.
280
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,880
LAUGHTER
281
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,000
Well, he... Not my fault.
282
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,880
You did.
You made me spin too many times.
283
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,200
I think if I'd done ten spins
I'd have...
284
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,200
It would've been less of
a shit show, would it?
285
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:29,200
Oh, I'd have been... It would've
been seconds I expect.
286
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:33,160
Judi. I mean, I can short cut
and tell you that the final part
287
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,080
of the system was you on your hands
and knees
288
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,280
wheezing in front of a maypole, sure.
289
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,640
No-one else heard the wheezing, Greg,
290
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,360
you didn't have to say that bit, babes.
291
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,760
They heard the wheezing.
292
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,120
Go on, tell me some times.
293
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,960
Well, you know, I don't think you'll
be that disappointed by Bridget.
294
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,840
11 minutes 30. Not a disaster.
295
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,200
It felt longer,
I think we'd all agree.
296
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,160
Judi, she was quick. Can't be good.
297
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,440
It was four minutes 15 seconds.
298
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,160
How?
299
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,800
Ardal's finding flapping throwing,
two minutes ten.
300
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,200
Time for a break.
Go and drink some water,
301
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,200
what you're eating's full
of salt, your body needs water.
302
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,200
You need to start being
kind to yourselves.
303
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,840
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
304
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:33,720
Hello, and a very warm welcome back
to the second part of the show.
305
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,560
Before the break, the contestants
were trying to locate a maypole
306
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,480
to either strike with
a ping pong ball
307
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,880
or tie a ribbon around,
all whilst blindfolded.
308
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,120
There are only two people to go
309
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,480
and they're really, really young
compared to the others.
310
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,440
It's Sophie and Chris.
311
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:55,280
Oh, no. Oh, no,
I don't know where it is.
312
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,400
I can stand on the rope, yeah?
313
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,600
OK.
314
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:03,920
Why are you saying OK?
315
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,520
All the information's on the task.
316
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,760
Which I can't read. Oh.
317
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,280
I'll stop the clock.
318
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:18,480
Not quite.
319
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:19,600
Oh.
320
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,640
Yes. I've stopped the clock.
321
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,520
SHE CHEERS
322
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,240
Have you ever felt cooler?
323
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,960
It's the best thing that's ever
happened in me entire life.
324
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,840
Do not pan down,
I might have an erection.
325
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:37,840
Amazing.
326
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,880
First time. One ball. First time.
327
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,600
Perfection. Hmm.
328
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,720
That's what it was.
329
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,160
Yes, but was...was there a system?
330
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,360
Yeah, he held on to the pillar
while he was spinning,
331
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,800
so he never lost his bearings.
332
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,160
Oh. Wow. Clever.
333
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:53,600
Ooh, you never thought the flapping
system would be beaten, did you?
334
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,560
Now, the mother.
335
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:57,760
Yes.
336
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,840
You know, fairly decent performance.
337
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:03,160
She promised to pay anyone
who beat her £20.
338
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:07,360
So, I guess what we need to do is
339
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:12,480
see the two throws next to each
other in real, actual real-time.
340
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,080
I'm going to hit it.
341
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,600
Happy? Yes.
342
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,760
Oh, no. Oh, no, I don't know
where it is.
343
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,640
Down there.
344
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:27,760
No.
345
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,040
Right. Have I had a thumbs up yet?
346
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,440
Yes. OK. Are you sure?
347
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,680
Have I had a thumbs up?
348
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,240
Yeah, I'm not blindfolded.
349
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,680
Not quite. Oh.
350
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:47,960
Yeah, I've stopped the clock.
351
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,160
I've stopped the clock.
352
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,840
All right. Bye, Chris.
353
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:01,520
Bye, Alex.
Bye, easiest task of the series.
354
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,000
Hey, hey.
355
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:07,920
Wow.
356
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,280
Let's be honest, speaking on behalf
of the whole room.
357
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,640
Who thought that that
would be exciting?
358
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,040
LAUGHTER
359
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,120
Well, Bridget obviously one point,
she took ages.
360
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,520
Judi four minutes - two points.
361
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,440
Ardal, three points for his
two minutes in the flapping,
362
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,200
but Chris only gets four points,
363
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,680
in an impressive 38 seconds
364
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,320
but Sophie five points for 31 seconds.
365
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:29,880
There we go.
366
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,720
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
367
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,360
Let's have a scoreboard.
368
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,320
I think you'll be surprised
by who's in the lead.
369
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:38,680
It's Ardal O'Hanlon
with eight points at this stage.
370
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,960
Not surprised at all. Next.
371
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,840
Ooh. One...one second.
372
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,320
Greg, smile.
373
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,600
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
374
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,400
Lovely stuff, there it is.
375
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,160
That is very cool.
376
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,720
Ooh.
377
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,520
Hello, Alex. Hello, Ardal.
378
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,080
CHRIS: Very cosy, isn't it?
379
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:22,760
This is where I live.
380
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,040
It's horrible.
381
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,920
Everything I want. Yeah?
382
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,680
That's weird.
383
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,120
My hero.
384
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,440
Why's he your hero?
385
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,840
Is there any way
of not having that there?
386
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,320
No. OK.
387
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,800
Oh, I love them, man.
I'll never get sick of a wax seal.
388
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:45,440
"Reveal the coolest photo
in your phone.
389
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,400
"You have five minutes.
390
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,040
"Your time starts now."
391
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,640
Let me see, let me see,
let me see.
392
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,280
Ooh, that one's a bit naughty.
393
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,800
SHE LAUGHS
394
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,000
I'd like to see it.
395
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,440
No. No.
396
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,480
No.
397
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:02,080
There's me paddleboarding.
Oh, that's cool.
398
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,200
I've got me dressed as Charles II.
399
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,960
SHE LAUGHS
400
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,800
Judi...
401
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,640
Judi.
402
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,120
OK, that's not cool.
403
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,680
Are they beetles?
404
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,200
No, they're sockets.
Sockets. Hidden in a wardrobe.
405
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,920
OK, so you've got some options.
406
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,000
Oh, God.
407
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,480
I've got one of Margaret Atwood
reading her own book.
408
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:25,680
Lorraine Kelly.
409
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,920
Does he like Kingfishers?
410
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,200
Would this appeal to him?
411
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,920
Even though I live in the
countryside, I get 927 mg a second.
412
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,680
That is cool. That's the quickest.
413
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,520
Oh, I've a brilliantly cool photo.
It's not very clear.
414
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:41,080
Unfortunately, it's not really
visible to the human eye.
415
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,440
Can I see it? TM's going to love
it. He's going to love it.
416
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,200
I'm going to go with this one.
417
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,400
HE BLOWS WHISTLE
418
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:49,440
Oh, it's...
419
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,160
It was the worst blow
I've ever seen, I think.
420
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,400
Thank you for the photo.
421
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:54,600
I've only...
422
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,840
SHE GASPS
423
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,240
Oh, that's so evil.
424
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,680
"Recreate the coolest photo
in your phone.
425
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,400
"Most accurate recreation wins.
426
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,920
"You have 15 minutes.
427
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:12,080
"Your time starts now."
How am I going to do that?
428
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,640
Sockets would've been easy.
429
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:19,000
Sockets would've been so easy,
you're right.
430
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,760
I guess we should tuck into
what everyone's view of cool is.
431
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,960
Hmm. Yes.
432
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,960
Uh, sockets in a wardrobe.
433
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,120
They were hidden in a wardrobe. Hidden.
434
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,760
It's not the one I chose in the end.
435
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,200
But you thought about it.
436
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,720
Well, we're going to hold back the
photos for a little while.
437
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,360
Let's see them
preparing their replica photos.
438
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,400
Let us do that. Here we go.
439
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,400
I've got some ideas. Oh, my God,
this is the smallest caravan ever.
440
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:51,680
What's wrong with ya?
441
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,720
I'm going to do your nipples
and then I'm going to do your face.
442
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,040
Pardon?
443
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,280
BRIDGET: That's got to attach
to something.
444
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,560
CHRIS: I need a onesie.
Something grey.
445
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,560
JUDI: I need you to draw some faces. Faces.
446
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,120
Faces. Ahh.
447
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,240
HE SIGHS
448
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,680
Cheese. Take number one.
449
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,120
Well, that is dangerous.
450
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,840
CHRIS: No. No. No, that's not right.
451
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,000
They're mountains by the way.
452
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,280
I think the teats look like darker
and better if they're a bit wet.
453
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,000
OK, we're nearly there.
454
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,240
CHRIS: Can I have beer?
455
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,320
Yeah, look at that.
456
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:41,160
That foot is in that hole
457
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,400
and this foot is on top
of that one.
458
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,640
I...I don't think it's going to work.
459
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,040
Oh, you're doing real good work
there you know, babes.
460
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,720
Yeah, thank you. Uh...
461
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,720
Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh...
462
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:52,920
Great.
463
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,440
OK. Well, I think I'm done.
464
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,560
Hmm, intriguing. Very intriguing.
465
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,080
Well, I think I've got a bit of
a handle on what
466
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,600
Judi, Ardal and even Chris
are up to.
467
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,080
The other two, I mean,
literally scare the shit out of me.
468
00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:17,480
"I'm going to do your nipples first
then your face,"
469
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,280
and then there were some wet teats?
470
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,080
Yeah, there was wet...wet teats.
"I'm going to make your teats wet."
471
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:27,120
I'm going to, yeah. Lovely. And I
don't know what this madness is.
472
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,800
It's, you know, I'm off the ground.
473
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,280
Now that's the sort of teaser
we need to go into a break.
474
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,240
Just time for you to pull your
trousers down
475
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:43,920
in front of your partner and scream,
"Why don't you see me any more?"
476
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,560
Hello, and welcome back
to Taskmaster.
477
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,800
It's part three and it's
little Alex Horne with the news.
478
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,800
Dong. Before the break...
479
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:06,480
How they do it.
480
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,120
Before the break,
the cast showed me their cool photos
481
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,120
and then had to try and physically
recreate those cool photos.
482
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,320
Dong. Off we go then.
483
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:18,560
First of all, here's Chris'
recreation of the cool photo.
484
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,120
It's a nice...nice photo,
isn't it, Greg?
485
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,280
Yeah. This was the original photo.
486
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,040
Aw!
487
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,920
The future man.
488
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,640
LAUGHTER AND GASPS
489
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,560
Oh, my God, you know I'm a qualified
social worker, right?
490
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:37,880
Wow. We can see the original
491
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,760
and the recreation
next to each other.
492
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,200
Ahh.
493
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,520
SOPHIE: You could've pissed in the
bottle or something
494
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:44,720
to make it yellow.
495
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,200
There's a lot more stars on your...
496
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,440
OK. Well, this time I'm going to
start with the cool photo
497
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:52,720
and then the recreation.
498
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,240
So this is Bridget's coolest photo
in her phone.
499
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,800
GASPS
500
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,160
Wow. Oh, my God.
501
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,520
Yeah, she's in the air
holding herself up
502
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,720
just with her arms on the rope.
503
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:03,920
Pretty cool.
504
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,280
Would you like to see
the 15-minute recreation?
505
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,240
Who's that?
506
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,560
So we can see the two next
to each other. Yeah.
507
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:20,640
There are hoops,
there's a hoop in there.
508
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:24,800
The...the hooded man in the original
isn't pissing against a wall.
509
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,720
That's what I thought
but I hadn't seen that,
510
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,960
otherwise I'd have changed like
to say you look like you're pissing.
511
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,120
JUDI: Quite good though.
512
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,240
OK, again, we're going to see
Sophie's original photo first.
513
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:37,520
Her coolest photo was of
a dog in Ghana.
514
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,840
There it is.
515
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,840
It's a pretty odd choice
but there... Thank God.
516
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:50,320
I think we know where this is going.
This is what happened next.
517
00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:52,440
APPLAUSE
518
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,080
That is excellent. I just...
519
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,120
Can we see them next to each other?
Course we can, side by side.
520
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,200
I won't know which one's which.
521
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,960
I think you've got the breed wrong.
522
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,120
I think that's
clearly an Alsatian over there.
523
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:09,680
Wow.
524
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,080
I've got the teats,
the teats are wet. The bags.
525
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:15,040
I'm... I'm very aware
of the wet teats.
526
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,960
Let's see Judi's cool photo.
527
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,840
It's her performing at
Wembley Arena.
528
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,280
Beautiful. I mean,
it is an undeniably cool picture
529
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,000
but I'm marking you on
the accuracy of the recreation.
530
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,080
Good luck, Judi.
Oh, well, you know me, babes.
531
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:33,040
All right,
so just keep looking at that.
532
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,880
I'm just gonna put the other one up.
You'll barely notice the change.
533
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,160
Here we go.
534
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,400
I'm not going to tell you when
I've done it.
535
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,280
JUDI LAUGHS
536
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:46,080
Now, bear in mind
that was a quarter of an hour,
537
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:47,920
just a quarter of an hour
she did that.
538
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,040
I mean, what? The SSE is there,
the guy is that,
539
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,600
look, same expression with
the guy with the...
540
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:54,680
Look, look at the teeth,
541
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,960
the one at the top with
the teeth on the... Yeah, yeah.
542
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,560
The dog from the last photo's
in it.
543
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,960
You've got the...
Oh, the dog is there. The dog...
544
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,640
THEY LAUGH
545
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,680
OK, here's them side by side.
546
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,320
Look at that, you see, look.
547
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:14,000
Good. We've heard a lot from
the last guy.
548
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,720
Yeah, he has, he's really been
chopsy through this.
549
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,000
Hmm. This is what he created,
again, in just 15 minutes.
550
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,760
Here's his picture.
551
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,080
So...
JUDI LAUGHS
552
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:27,760
OK, here we go, with just a touch
of a button. There's the original.
553
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,880
It's some sheep playing football.
554
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,440
Some sheep playing football
in Ireland.
555
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,280
The nerve of the man.
556
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:43,280
SOPHIE: You said the breed
of my dog was different.
557
00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:48,000
You was saying there was too many
stars on my onesie.
558
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:53,440
At least I mead some effort
to make sheep.
559
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,320
OK, all ten photos here.
560
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:56,680
Here we go.
561
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,160
There's some quality there.
562
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:00,400
Shall we get this over with?
563
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,040
Yes, here we go. Here we go.
Ready?
564
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,800
In last place first please, Greg.
565
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,880
Well, I mean, come on.
566
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:07,440
Ardal gets one point. Correct.
567
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,520
Really?
568
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,120
Well, look. I mean, obviously
569
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,680
it's the preposterous
wet-teated dog, isn't it?
570
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:18,480
That's...that's me
you're talking about, I think.
571
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,600
For accuracy's sake,
I must put Judi at three points.
572
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,080
OK, three points to Judi.
573
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,400
It feels... Is it another tragic
silver medal for Chris?
574
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,560
Yeah, and I do think it's cruel
575
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,760
because I very much enjoyed
his picture
576
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,040
but Bridget takes it.
577
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:33,320
It's the best recreation,
578
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,080
it's five points to Bridget Christie.
579
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,480
All right, you will give me
another task, please.
580
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,000
Yes, I will. How about this?
581
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,560
It's the first team task
of the series.
582
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,280
CHEERING
583
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:02,040
Hey.
584
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:03,520
Hello. How are ya?
585
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,880
Ah, how's it going, man?
Good to see you.
586
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:07,520
You all right?
Yeah, nice to see you.
587
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:08,600
Ahh.
588
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,320
Ahh. Yeah.
589
00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:11,760
Hello, babes.
590
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,640
So what...what
the hell's going on here?
591
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,560
In this task, you two are a team.
592
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:16,880
Oh, that's good to know.
593
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,320
Ahh.
594
00:28:19,360 --> 00:28:21,400
Hello. Some company at last.
595
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,600
This must be what it feels like when
you're on like
596
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,400
Love Island or something. Yeah.
597
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,880
"Score a goal.
598
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:30,600
"With each of the exercise balls.
599
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,440
"You may only move the exercise
balls on the pitch
600
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,200
"when driving the buggy.
601
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,520
"Each person must score a goal using
their own personal wheels
602
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,360
"to drive the buggy and no-one may
score two goals in a row.
603
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,920
"Fastest hat-trick wins.
604
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,280
"The fastest hat-trick wins.
605
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,280
"Your time started when you
broke the seal."
606
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,120
Ooh, sorry. I mean, honestly.
I'm so sorry.
607
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,560
I didn't listen to any of that.
608
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:54,800
Ahh.
609
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,840
Could the instructions be
any clearer?
610
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:58,000
Ahh.
611
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,840
Right, I need to do things
really slowly. OK...OK.
612
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:02,280
"Score a goal."
613
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,160
Oh, no. This is going to really
stress me out.
614
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,160
Then there's a line. Oh, no.
615
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:07,640
Where's the buggy?
616
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:08,680
ALEX: It's not far away.
617
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,320
Is it within the confines
of the hockey pitch?
618
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,240
Yes. OK, thank you.
619
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:15,760
Uh...
620
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,440
Someone look for the buggy.
Oh, is that the buggy?
621
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,120
I haven't finished, we're... OK.
Oh, no. ..only halfway through.
622
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,040
Is part of the task to find
the buggy?
623
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,640
Well, we didn't think it was,
but apparently it is.
624
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,880
OK. Uh, well, let's...
625
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:30,320
Are we stupid?
Let's have a look for the buggy.
626
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,800
Ahh. Oh, there it is.
627
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,600
APPLAUSE
628
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,400
Very hard to pick who
I think's going to be worse.
629
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,040
JUDI LAUGHS
630
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:46,320
Very hard.
631
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,560
Uh, the angle is unfair.
From where we were,
632
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,560
that bit of wood was obstructing
the view of the buggy.
633
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,440
You... Oh, you was the same place
where we was, weren't you? Yeah.
634
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,480
We found it straight away.
635
00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,160
Yes.
636
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,400
Let's let the chaos commence.
637
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:06,040
All right, and we're going to begin
with the boys. Good luck.
638
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,520
Um, I'm weirdly confident
with these, can I go first?
639
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,960
OK, yeah. You go first, yeah.
I'm weirdly confident with it.
640
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,320
Please, please go first.
641
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:15,680
That'll do.
642
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,720
Vroom-vroom-vroom.
643
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:22,520
Chris. Bye.
644
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,320
So I'll be...
I'll be kind of a cox, yeah?
645
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:25,720
You can't touch the balls, Ardal.
646
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,760
Go on, Chris.
You gonna do a Panenka?
647
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,280
I don't like football,
so I don't know who that is.
648
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,040
It's good. It's good, it's good.
649
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,760
Ahh. Ahh. Don't touch it,
we'll get told off.
650
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,840
Ahh.
651
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,000
This way. Come on, come on,
come behind it,
652
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:48,600
come behind it, come behind it.
653
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,240
Uh, nice, nice. Oh, that's good.
654
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:53,600
Ah, shit.
655
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:54,960
Oh, no, no.
656
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,040
Ah, God.
657
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,240
It's much harder than
I thought it would be, Ardal.
658
00:30:58,280 --> 00:30:59,520
Gentle. Gentle.
659
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,240
Yes. Yes, to the pit stop,
let's go.
660
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:06,400
Yay.
661
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,120
Let's put a clock on the pit stop.
662
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:10,440
And he's in.
663
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,080
OK, you do the mechanics there.
664
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,360
Done it. OK, grab yours.
665
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:14,400
OK.
666
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:17,440
OK. Fit? Yeah, yeah, good.
667
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:21,320
Oop. No, no, no,
that's the wrong way.
668
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,680
Down, yeah. Both hard.
Put your feet up, whack it.
669
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:24,840
What do I do?
670
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:25,920
Up to stop.
671
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,440
Oh, I see. Yeah.
And then it's like that. Yeah.
672
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:29,800
So that's that and that's that.
673
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:31,040
Going for the start.
674
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,440
Lovely. Lovely start.
675
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,880
Oh, my God. He's done it.
676
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,000
Oh, my! Brilliant. Ha-ha!
677
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:40,960
That is absolutely amazing.
678
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,120
HE CHEERS
679
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:44,360
Smashed it. We're in.
680
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,600
Where do we go? Wonderful work, sir.
681
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:52,680
Turn us on.
682
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:54,560
Yeah.
683
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,360
Ooh, nice control.
684
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:00,680
Look at that ball control. Come on.
685
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:03,800
Ahh. Turn, turn, turn.
686
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,120
Ah, no.
687
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:07,200
Ah, this is good.
This is good technique.
688
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,800
Go on ya... It's stuck.
689
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,760
It's in, it's over the line.
690
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,920
No, that's not fully over,
it's not fully over.
691
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,240
Yes. Now it's fully over.
692
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,080
I've stopped the clock.
693
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:22,120
Well done, Chris.
694
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,480
Amazing stuff. Whoo.
695
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,880
Right, I've written this
sentence down. OK.
696
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,920
See what you make of it.
697
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:36,360
"Throughout that, I felt like
a proud father watching his two
weird sons have fun together."
698
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,640
Have we got a picture of Ardal?
699
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:44,640
Yes, you could see how much fun
he was having.
700
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:48,320
This is... There we are.
..his face mid-flow.
701
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:49,960
There's Ardal, aged nine.
702
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,720
My tongue helped a lot.
703
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,520
Um, my tongue is a sort of
a throttle. Uh...
704
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,080
We'll take that quote in isolation.
705
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,720
My tongue is some sort
of a throttle.
706
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:03,200
Yes. Their total time was
eight minutes and 38 seconds.
707
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,120
Hmm. OK. Time for a quick break.
708
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:06,880
Go into the street and egg the windows
709
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:10,280
of anyone not watching this show,
we need to smoke these people out.
710
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,240
Welcome back, everyone,
it's the final part of the show
711
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,800
and we're in the thick of
our first team task.
712
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,280
Yes, it's boys versus girls
this series. The boys have been
713
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:31,800
and now it's the turn of the girls
714
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,040
to score three gym ball goals
on a hockey pitch
715
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,960
whilst driving a hover cart.
Here's how they got on.
716
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,000
Bridget. Bridget.
You want to go first?
717
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:41,880
Bridget, you look like...
No. Last night,
718
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:45,280
I genuinely pointed
the remote control at the oven
719
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,040
and so I'm not going first.
720
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:48,360
OK.
721
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:51,360
Do you want to go first?
Cos I'm obviously going second.
722
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:52,680
I'll go first.
723
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,080
Oh, God. OK, it's heavy.
724
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:57,560
Oh, God.
725
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:00,720
And then off you go really.
726
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,200
SHE SCREAMS SOFTLY
727
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,920
SHE SCREAMS
728
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:06,800
Wrong way.
729
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,840
Get that goal, girl. Get that goal.
730
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:13,120
Ahh.
731
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:14,840
Oh, you've gone past them.
732
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,600
Oh, God. OK.
733
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,720
OK. This is... Oh, God.
734
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:25,520
Ahh. There's a slug.
735
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:26,880
Would you like me to help?
736
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,840
I think we can touch the ball
when it's not on the pitch.
737
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,680
Ahh.
738
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,560
Go on, girl.
739
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:38,720
Ahh.
740
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:42,080
Yes. Goal.
741
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:43,160
That's one goal.
742
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:44,600
Yeah. Congratulations, Sophie.
743
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:45,960
Let's go, next. Next.
744
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,920
Right, you're in the pit area.
745
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,840
OK. Alex, I love the way you're
just watching us but...
746
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,920
Ah, do you want me to applaud?
747
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,360
Uh, you could applaud when we
do a goal.
748
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,120
Let's go.
749
00:34:58,160 --> 00:34:59,640
Is it on? No.
750
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,520
I'll turn it on for you.
751
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:03,480
SOPHIE LAUGHS
752
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:09,800
OK...
753
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,440
OK.
754
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:13,960
Oh, good control. Guys, guys.
755
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,960
Yeah. Have you done this before?
756
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,680
No.
757
00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:20,080
This seems like
a lot more civilised.
758
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,520
Guys, I just need it
to go straight.
759
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,200
Right, one more goal to score.
760
00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:49,560
How do you turn it?
761
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,600
Judi. This way, Judi.
762
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,240
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
763
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,360
Straight for the ball.
764
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,240
She is fast.
765
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:06,640
You can do it.
766
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:08,360
Yes, girl.
767
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,680
Ah.
768
00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:10,880
Bring it home.
769
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,400
I...I can't move round. Oh, hang on.
That's it, girl.
770
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:14,560
Do it.
771
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:16,920
That ball's between your legs.
772
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,200
Ahh. Ah-ah.
773
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:24,200
Yes.
774
00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:25,600
WHISTLE BLOWS
775
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,000
It's a goal.
776
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:29,000
APPLAUSE
777
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:42,520
Sophie, I hope this isn't offensive,
uh, screamed like a lamb.
778
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,120
No, that's fine, you can say that.
779
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:45,920
I think that's...that's...that
is valid.
780
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:49,000
And yet, you employed full power.
781
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,640
I thought...
Thought it was a confident lamb.
782
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,240
Yeah, I was trying to go fast.
783
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,080
You went fast but for a long time.
784
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,600
Yeah.
785
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,440
Judi, I hope this isn't insulting.
786
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,160
THEY LAUGH
787
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,440
Initially, I thought you had
788
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:11,800
"the rictus grin of Davros
from the Daleks."
789
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:17,040
There was something about
the stillness.
790
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,400
I...I think there was something
wrong with mine,
791
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,320
it was really slow.
792
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:22,760
It was going really slow.
793
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:24,640
I thought that was you doing
that on purpose.
794
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:26,240
I thought you were being
quite poised.
795
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,600
Oh, was I can I control the speed?
796
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,440
Yeah? Bridget's ball technique,
pretty sweet. Hmm.
797
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:33,840
Didn't say I couldn't.
798
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,920
No. Popped it on your lap.
Popped it on me lap.
799
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,640
Scored with yourself. Yep.
800
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,240
It took them a long time
to read the task,
801
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:43,880
a long time to construct the machine
and their pit stops were also long.
802
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:45,920
But what an entertaining team
they are.
803
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,320
Oh, they're lovely to watch.
The flare of the individuals.
804
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,280
Yes, useless but fun. Yeah.
805
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:53,880
But it all added up to, uh,
806
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:55,920
eight minutes 38 from the boys,
807
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,400
15 minutes and two seconds
from the girls.
808
00:37:58,440 --> 00:37:59,680
Ahh. So there we go.
809
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:05,280
But it's up to you, Greg,
to divide the points.
810
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,280
Normally it's five points
split between the two teams,
811
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:09,720
so it could be five and zero,
812
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,160
four and one, three and two, it's
up to you.
813
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,560
Oh, well I can't give my
lovely boys nothing.
814
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,080
No, no, well they won.
815
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:17,880
LAUGHTER
816
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,440
Oh, that...that make...
817
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:26,840
I can easily give
the baby lamb nothing.
818
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,040
I think five and three feels fair.
819
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:33,080
Oh, right, OK.
820
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,320
No, that's fine, yeah. Yes, cool.
821
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,200
So we're getting three points?
Three points.
822
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:39,960
Yeah, I think it was, uh... Ahh.
SHE BLEATS
823
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,560
Three points to the girls,
five points to Ardal and Chris.
824
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:55,640
Quick look at the scores.
825
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,240
OK, then. At the top,
826
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,520
he won the last episode,
he's winning this one as well.
827
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,600
With 15 points, it's Chris Ramsey.
He's getting away with it.
828
00:39:05,240 --> 00:39:07,760
Pretty close. Right, you better
make your way to the stage
829
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,240
for the final task of the show.
830
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,120
APPLAUSE
831
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:21,960
Right, who's going to read
the task out, lovely pretty boy?
832
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,600
Thank you again, Greg,
for my compliment.
833
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,720
I would like Chris Ramsey
to read the task today, please.
834
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:29,840
"Identify the object
under your table
835
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:33,240
"and draw it on the canvas
on the underside of your table.
836
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,280
"You must also write down
three words
837
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:36,920
"to describe your object.
838
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:38,680
"Most accurate drawing wins.
839
00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:42,920
"You must also stare menacingly at
the Taskmaster at all times.
840
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:44,320
"You have 100 seconds."
841
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,840
Stare at him at all times? Yeah.
842
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:50,200
Menacingly. Greg, are you ready
for me to reveal the objects?
843
00:39:50,240 --> 00:39:51,680
Oh, God, yes.
844
00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:53,080
OK, off we go.
845
00:39:55,720 --> 00:39:57,240
Lovely.
846
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:58,840
AUDIENCE: Ooh.
847
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,720
I was quite pleased with my
little trot. Shall we start?
848
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:03,560
Yes. Your 100 seconds...
849
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,200
Chris.
850
00:40:07,240 --> 00:40:08,680
..starts...
851
00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:10,000
WHISTLE BLOWS
852
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:11,160
And they're off.
853
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,600
Do not stop looking at me. Do not...
854
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:15,640
HE SHRIEKS
855
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:17,840
CHRIS: Oh, what's happening?
Why does it feel weird?
856
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:20,240
What's happening?
857
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,240
Oh, wait, we've
got to put our hand in this...?
858
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:24,800
Just keep looking at me.
859
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,520
It's...it's on the bucket, Judi.
On the bucket, Judi.
860
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:29,920
It's on the bucket, Judi.
861
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,160
What is this? And why does it
feel the worst thing ever?
862
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:33,400
Urgh.
863
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:34,960
ALEX: That's exactly the question.
864
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,720
Ahh.
865
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,320
Ah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah.
Oh, the words on the table?
866
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,360
Yes, I should've said that. I'm
watching you. Watching your eyes.
867
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,200
We're looking for colours, textures.
868
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,160
CHRIS: I don't know what
she's doing.
869
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,440
Are you all right, Sophie?
870
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:04,320
Uh-huh. OK.
871
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,520
You look happy. All good, Sophie.
Yeah?
872
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,320
Make sure you've written
your three words.
873
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,080
Have you all written your
three words?
874
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,000
CHRIS: Yes. Yes?
875
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:16,960
WHISTLE BLOWS OK.
876
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,800
OK, relax. Don't look.
877
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:21,440
APPLAUSE
878
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,400
Right.
879
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,800
Hello, Ardal. Hi.
Hello. So, Ardal. How are you?
880
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,200
What three words did you write down
for your object?
881
00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:29,680
I wrote - wet, horse, green.
882
00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:31,840
Wet, horse, green.
883
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,560
Not a wet, green horse.
884
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,640
No, a wet horse green.
No, wet horse green.
885
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,640
OK, well, let's have a look
at your wet horse green.
886
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,480
There it is.
887
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:47,800
And here is...
888
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:49,600
Here is your wet horse green.
889
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,120
There's the actual object.
890
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:54,560
It's a wet camel. It is soaking wet,
he has got wet right.
891
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:58,640
Sorry, is it worth me saying,
uh, making a comment on Ardal's?
892
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,200
Yes, always. It's rubbish.
893
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:02,160
OK.
894
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,160
Hello, Bridget, what have you drawn?
895
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:09,640
Birdy hand finger.
896
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,560
OK, well, let's have a look
at your birdy hand finger.
897
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,800
It's like a character
from a '60s film.
898
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,040
Ooh. Ooh, birdy hand finger.
899
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:18,880
Yes, there's your birdy hand finger.
900
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:20,440
OK, well, let's pop that down there
901
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,040
and let's show you
your birdy hand finger.
902
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:25,640
There you go.
903
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:28,160
Ooh, it was a... It's not awful.
904
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:31,640
It's pretty credible,
because honestly, from here
905
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,280
I don't know what that object is.
906
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:36,440
Well, it was a rubber glove
frozen in a fridge
907
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:38,400
with two fingers snapped off, obviously.
908
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:39,800
Oh, of course.
909
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:41,200
Hello, Chris. Hello.
910
00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:43,480
You've written three words.
I've got stuff on me hands.
911
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,960
Yes, what do you think you've got
on your hand? I don't know.
912
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:48,160
I've sniffed it, but I'm
frightened to lick it.
913
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:49,480
Do not lick it. Do not lick it.
914
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:52,120
Good rule of thumb.
Good rule of thumb.
915
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:53,880
What have you written down there,
Chris?
916
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,320
"Gunky slime,"
and I've tried to write "vase"
917
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:57,840
but I don't know, that's terrible.
918
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,080
Gunky slime vase.
919
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:01,960
Gunky, gunky slime vase.
920
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,760
OK. That's his picture of
a gunky slime vase.
921
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:07,840
Oh, I mean, honestly...
AUDIENCE GASP
922
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:09,400
That's a gunky slime vase.
923
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,520
To be fair...
I can't wait to see what this is.
924
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:14,160
..unlike Ardal's, it's a shape.
925
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:17,000
It is a shape and he's got
the opening of the fish vase.
926
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,000
Oh, you... It's a gunky slime vase.
927
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:20,720
Gunky slime vase.
928
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:23,080
Yeah, it's a fish vase
covered in jam.
929
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:25,720
Right, Judi, what have you,
uh, what have you written down?
930
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:29,400
Sea, crab, lobster.
931
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,200
AUDIENCE: Ooh.
932
00:43:31,240 --> 00:43:33,080
Oh. Given yourself a couple
of options.
933
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:34,480
You said three words.
934
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:37,760
Yes, no, I... Yes. All right,
here it is.
935
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:43,480
Look, let me show you something.
936
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:45,400
OK. Let me show you something. Yes.
937
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:47,680
The sea. That's the sea. Oh, yeah.
938
00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:50,480
And that's the lobster bit
at the sides.
939
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:54,120
But I'm a... I'm a special child
940
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:56,680
and I colour on the outside
of the lines.
941
00:43:56,720 --> 00:43:58,720
Yeah. I mean, she's got the
colour right.
942
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:00,560
There we go.
943
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,520
Come on. Come on.
944
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,200
APPLAUSE
945
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:05,640
CHRIS: Nice.
946
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:10,560
She has captured something
of the essence of that beast.
947
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,000
She has. Yeah.
948
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:13,960
Finally, Sophie Duker. Yeah.
949
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,000
You've written down
a little sentence.
950
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,920
I've written down,
"Difficult to see."
951
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:20,320
Yes.
952
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:23,400
What do you think it is?
953
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,360
Like, a really effective condom.
954
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,520
Can we have a look at the picture
of her really thick condom?
955
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:32,760
Pfft!
956
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,320
That spells pregnancy.
957
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,360
LAUGHTER
958
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:38,400
It does spell pregnancy, yeah.
959
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,440
OK, do you mind if I just
pop it now?
960
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:42,880
It's a pineapple, that's all it is.
961
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:44,480
Yeah. Yeah, it's just a pineapple.
962
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,280
Well, there we go, Greg, that's it.
963
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,400
Well, it would be very unfair for me
964
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:51,640
to make a distinction between
Ardal's and Sophie's
965
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,800
being as they both are rubbish.
966
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,520
One point?
One point for both of them.
967
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:58,920
OK, we're moving up,
I guess, to three points now.
968
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:02,400
I think gunky slime vase
is probably the three points
969
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,360
because it's a basic interpretation
970
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,320
of quite an elaborate
jam-covered fish.
971
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:11,960
Judi's flavours of the sea
takes second place with four.
972
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:15,040
Wonderful. And whatever that pointy
finger thing was
973
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:17,640
takes the full five points.
Congratulations, Sophie.
974
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:19,560
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
975
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:26,240
Come back down and we'll see how
that's affected the final scores.
976
00:45:29,720 --> 00:45:30,840
Ooh.
977
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:33,560
Well, there we are. Welcome back.
978
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,480
Thank you. Nail-biting stuff.
979
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,800
Yes. Bridget did very well,
she got the five points
980
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,320
and it was almost enough
to give her the episode win
981
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:41,600
but not quite.
982
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,520
For the second episode
in a row we have... Oh.
983
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:46,360
We have the winner,
it's Mr Chris Ramsey.
984
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,640
This time with 18 points. Wow!
985
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:49,840
Again.
986
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,120
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
987
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,280
Chris Ramsey is tonight's winner.
988
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,040
Please beam yourself onto the stage
989
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,720
and collect your
alien-friendly goodies.
990
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,200
SPEECH DROWNED OUT BY APPLAUSE
991
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,760
So what have we learnt today?
992
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:06,720
We've learnt that in hundreds
of years
993
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,760
when the Earth is scorched
and the human race is long gone,
994
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:13,240
hopefully, aliens will visit
and find something that tells them
995
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:18,560
that Queen Zufufu and her army of
Dutch militia reign supreme over ET,
996
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:22,880
robot lawnmowers and
the mysterious shining mirrurr.
997
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,800
That's it then. Until next time,
take care of yourselves
998
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:28,960
and well done again to Chris Ramsey.
999
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,200
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1000
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:49,320
INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE
1001
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:55,080
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