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1
00:00:00,039 --> 00:00:04,045
- Sheila Gruff?
- Goff. She's new and she sounds...
2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:05,125
Petrified?
3
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:06,565
How could I even begin to...
4
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:07,815
- What?
- Compare.
5
00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:09,605
Oh, it's not a competition.
6
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,805
D'you actually want us to succeed?
7
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Since when was it "us"?
8
00:00:13,484 --> 00:00:17,565
If we can't provide what you need,
you should go elsewhere.
9
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,085
So no-one's arsed, then?
That mum's having an affair?
10
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:20,952
'Scuse me?
11
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,245
- Give over...
- She'd never do that.
12
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,325
Wouldn't she?
13
00:00:23,660 --> 00:00:24,980
I slept with Bel.
14
00:00:26,980 --> 00:00:28,825
HE SCREAMS
15
00:00:28,860 --> 00:00:30,385
He said it was just the once.
16
00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:33,325
She'd made a real effort and he felt
so bad for her, he just...
17
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,605
Poked her out of pity?
18
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:35,845
I feel bad for her.
19
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,445
And guilty? At cheating on her with me?
20
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:39,581
Of course.
21
00:00:39,617 --> 00:00:40,782
Then you still love her.
22
00:00:41,303 --> 00:00:43,005
You do know you're playing with fire?
23
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:44,365
What I know is
24
00:00:44,657 --> 00:00:48,417
I'm going to make them wish they'd
never set eyes on each other.
25
00:00:51,429 --> 00:00:53,069
Mirror, mirror on the wall...
26
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,646
Who's the fairest of them all?
27
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,781
Age before beauty?
28
00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,285
Pearls before swine?
29
00:01:02,985 --> 00:01:04,805
Handsome Prince Charming.
30
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,740
Will you be mine?
31
00:01:11,913 --> 00:01:15,579
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
32
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,232
I want blood.
33
00:01:45,985 --> 00:01:48,603
Come on, love. All this hate.
34
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,765
- It's not you.
- Why? Why do I have to be the good one?
35
00:01:52,086 --> 00:01:53,485
Because you are.
36
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,758
She can't do this to people
without consequences.
37
00:01:56,794 --> 00:01:59,514
And I'm sure there will be,
but don't you...
38
00:02:02,611 --> 00:02:05,096
What's her name? Lorelei?
39
00:02:05,606 --> 00:02:07,765
Oh, yeah, I know all about it.
40
00:02:08,049 --> 00:02:10,334
We don't have secrets any more.
41
00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:11,481
Since when?
42
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,525
I've told her to butt out.
43
00:02:13,761 --> 00:02:15,685
Swear. Not a word to Wes.
44
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,120
Not an utterance.
45
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,685
Whatever's going on
in that head of yours...
46
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,925
- Nobody walks over me.
- Nobody is walking over you.
47
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,525
I can't bear a woman who tramples
over other women's property.
48
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,714
- You swore...
- And I stand by it.
49
00:02:31,597 --> 00:02:35,440
I won't say a single solitary word
to that husband of hers.
50
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:40,840
But that Lore-lying-bitch has
got to know who she's messing with.
51
00:02:46,162 --> 00:02:48,685
Can't have either of 'em
thinking they're being pushed.
52
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,805
I'm on course with Wes.
What's Miss Lorelei saying?
53
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:55,880
That they're having fun, she still
feels like his "bit on the side".
54
00:02:58,251 --> 00:03:00,731
I'd hoped she'd feel more like
a permanent fixture by now.
55
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:06,120
We've got a night lined up
with the gang. He's invited.
56
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,339
You show him what he's missing.
57
00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:11,682
Get him high as a kite.
58
00:03:12,362 --> 00:03:14,882
Bright lights! Freedom!
59
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,845
And Bel's spag bol and
Thorn Birds box set
60
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,600
might not seem so appealing.
61
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,965
See, they're beating down
the doors to get in again.
62
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,005
All down to you, kid.
63
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,405
Come on in, ladies. Welcome to my world.
64
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,285
Oh, it's Lexie's first go at the promo.
65
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,605
Give us a look?
66
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:41,640
It's just the beginning, just a few
snippets to be getting on with...
67
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,005
THEY LAUGH
68
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,710
Oh, look at you!
69
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,880
- Cringe.
- No!
70
00:04:00,244 --> 00:04:02,535
That's good. She's
done a good job with it.
71
00:04:02,571 --> 00:04:03,559
And I'm where?
72
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,165
Obviously, I don't actually do
anything around here!
73
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,800
Obviously, I'm invisible!
74
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,560
You wish!
75
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:15,240
That's torn it!
76
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,765
You never say anything bad about Bel.
77
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,080
Why would I?
78
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:37,680
She's not enough for you.
Why is she not enough?
79
00:04:39,297 --> 00:04:40,558
I dunno.
80
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,125
So maybe one day,
this won't be enough either?
81
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,480
Whatever THIS is.
82
00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:49,685
It's just... THIS.
83
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,165
Kitchen sex?
84
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,845
In a very nice kitchen.
I mean, I'd shag whoever fitted it!
85
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,520
- Shag?
- Make love.
86
00:04:59,698 --> 00:05:00,698
I dunno.
87
00:05:02,057 --> 00:05:05,725
If people knew what
THIS was, they'd bottle it.
88
00:05:05,844 --> 00:05:07,009
They'd have it every day.
89
00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:09,285
And when it ran out,
they'd just make some more.
90
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,240
Nobody would be sad and
relationships would last for ever.
91
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:17,440
But they don't.
92
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,920
So, I don't know what to tell you
to stop your head from hurting.
93
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,880
Let's enjoy it. Make the most,
and hope it never runs out.
94
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,565
RECORDING: Hi, Sheila, it's Lorelei.
95
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,445
Your favourite PT... SHE GIGGLES
96
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:38,125
I just had a thought.
97
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,805
How about you nip round to my place
sometime this week and we can
98
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,725
check your weight and
measurements, yeah?
99
00:05:42,990 --> 00:05:45,885
Take your body fat percentage,
BMI, all that stuff?
100
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:49,579
Don't panic... I know it sounds scary,
101
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,417
and nobody likes having
their fat pinched.
102
00:05:51,453 --> 00:05:54,325
But trust me, it's totally the
best way to measure progress.
103
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:55,925
And you have made progress, Sheila.
104
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,285
You should be proud of yourself.
105
00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,085
I really, really want you to see
how amazing you're doing.
106
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,760
So, yeah... Let me know.
107
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:12,605
SHE SIGHS
108
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,782
What you doing to yourself?
109
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,125
LORELEI LAUGHS LOUDLY
110
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,645
No! No! No! Wesley Finch,
I'm not doing it now!
111
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,365
Oh, yes, you are! C'mon! Why do
you think I bought you a new dress?
112
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,925
So you could put it on!
113
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,045
Yeah? And then you can take it off?
114
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,957
Now we are talking!
115
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,045
SHE LAUGHS
116
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,480
Go on...
117
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:52,485
Can't do that. I've got
a meeting with Mitch.
118
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:53,501
Who?
119
00:06:53,537 --> 00:06:56,445
Guy I've got coming to finalise
designs for our billboard.
120
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,205
What billboard?
Does Bel know about this?
121
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,535
I've texted her.
122
00:07:01,496 --> 00:07:05,125
I care about the future of
this business. Unlike some.
123
00:07:05,673 --> 00:07:08,445
Suppose I decided to swan off
whenever I fancied?
124
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:09,765
Do it.
125
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,685
We've sat for years listening to you
skrike about being stuck in here
126
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,285
while the world's going on outside.
Now's your chance. Get out.
127
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,325
- Do it.
- What's it look like I'm doing?
128
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,800
I'm dragging us into the 20th century!
129
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,000
21st.
130
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,920
Billboards, tellin' you, it's the key.
131
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,685
Me? Do one? No chance. She'd love that.
132
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,965
I doubt she'd even notice.
She don't give you a second thought.
133
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:40,645
But for you, it's like she's your
obsession. You want revenge.
134
00:07:41,008 --> 00:07:43,013
- Be happy.
- How's that work?
135
00:07:43,157 --> 00:07:46,357
I dunno. But you're jealous
as hell whenever she is.
136
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,400
SHE SNIFFLES, SOBS
137
00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:02,180
Shit. Shit!
138
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,365
That was supposed to be a quickie.
139
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,565
- Was for me.
- PHONE RINGS
140
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,725
You know what?
Don't just stand there starkers.
141
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,160
Clothes on, out.
142
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,987
It's Dante - wants to know if you're
coming for that drink tonight.
143
00:08:16,023 --> 00:08:17,988
Think he's got a soft spot for you.
144
00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:20,645
You could maybe even stay again?
145
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,120
Where's my under-crackers?
146
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:24,640
I know it's a big ask.
147
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,417
But I'd love it if we could
have the night together.
148
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,480
You know, like a proper couple.
149
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,440
PHONE RINGS
150
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:46,645
Hi, love.
151
00:08:47,185 --> 00:08:48,365
You all right?
152
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,045
Yeah, er, I've got a job
on in Leeds tonight.
153
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,286
So I've got to stay over. Is that OK?
154
00:08:53,921 --> 00:08:55,405
Yeah, sure.
155
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,800
OK. OK, see you later.
156
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,680
SHE SIGHS
157
00:09:18,145 --> 00:09:20,164
Let's see how many mils you lost.
158
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:24,125
Right, now, we set you
a target of three mils.
159
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,000
Don't worry if we don't hit it.
160
00:09:27,486 --> 00:09:29,526
Did you get a glance at my fella?
161
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,680
What d'you reckon?
162
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,090
SHE LAUGHS
163
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,879
- Not your type?
- I wouldn't say that.
164
00:09:38,413 --> 00:09:42,165
You know, I finally decided to stop
beating myself up about it.
165
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,525
Is that right?
166
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:46,365
Well, yeah. We all have a right
to be happy, don't we?
167
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,405
Happy people don't have affairs.
168
00:09:49,069 --> 00:09:50,525
He's happy when he's with me.
169
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:53,405
Gives me that stupid loved-up look,
you know the one?
170
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:57,805
The, er, the foam roller.
The roller! In your car.
171
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,725
For my muscles.
You said I could borrow it?
172
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,845
Yeah. Sure. I'm sorry. Wittering on.
173
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,200
This can be a very confronting
process, can't it?
174
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:12,320
OK, er... Two ticks, I'll...
You take a minute to yourself.
175
00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:18,100
SHE EXHALES LOUDLY, DOOR SHUTS
176
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,320
Shit!
177
00:10:43,608 --> 00:10:45,278
_
178
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,845
I'm so sorry. I was just
getting a drink of water.
179
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,205
SHE LAUGHS
180
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,680
I'm sorry all you could find
to mop up with was Wes's knickers!
181
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,365
See? This is how I know
she's not fussed!
182
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,600
Three-for-a-quid grundies
off the market?
183
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,165
Seriously, to say you've lost
nine mils is amazing.
184
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,000
You should be so proud of yourself.
185
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,240
Poor Mrs Parjour.
Who'd do that to her car?
186
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,845
You know, when I came down before,
187
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,160
there was some weird old bloke
on a Vespa over there.
188
00:12:39,156 --> 00:12:40,316
It doesn't sit right.
189
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,805
When it's just me and Lorelei,
it's this secret thing.
190
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:44,965
But going out, it's like
191
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,965
I'm cheating on Bel with all her
mates as well. Know what I mean?
192
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,072
No.
193
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,565
But the sex is amazing.
194
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:53,765
It's not about sex.
195
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,280
It is when you're not having any!
196
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,485
It's like the good old days.
197
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,485
All the fun, less of the fumbling.
198
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:07,000
One wife. Two lives.
It's a lot of faff for a fumble.
199
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:09,960
Someone's going to get hurt.
200
00:13:13,169 --> 00:13:16,165
That's art, that is.
You're a proper Picasso.
201
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,965
Well, I'm only as good as
the material I work with.
202
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,165
The billboards are just the start.
203
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,543
There's cinema,
TV adverts we can exploit.
204
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,760
I am so ready for my close-up.
205
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,845
So will the billboards be ready
for the big launch tomorrow?
206
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,085
I want the family to share
in the grand unveil.
207
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,825
Of course. The Excelsior package
guarantees a 24-hour printing service.
208
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,685
It's the best five grand
we'll spend. You watch.
209
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,525
It'll put this salon on the map.
210
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:43,440
Least the bailiffs'll know
where to find us.
211
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,485
Sorry about my sister, she's
great for a tattooed anchor
212
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:52,045
or a borstal spot, but no appreciation
for the finer things in life.
213
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,445
You'll end up saving.
Signing with us gives you access
214
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,485
to very competitive rates
with our partners.
215
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,208
Has Bel agreed to this?
216
00:13:58,474 --> 00:14:00,565
Those who turn up get
to make the decisions.
217
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,485
Not when those who don't
still hold the cheque book!
218
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,845
DOOR OPENS
219
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:10,205
Oh, here she is. Manchester's
Olympic hopeful, "Older Korbut".
220
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:15,445
Nice of you to show.
I'm just saving the business.
221
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,245
First she's late, then she's rude!
222
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,125
I think you owe Mitch an apology!
223
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,565
Real card, your sister.
224
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,485
These mobile billboards that
I've facilitated are the media
225
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,485
strategy that'll turn
this business around.
226
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:27,085
- Where's Mum?
- On the roof.
227
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:28,125
Right!
228
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,480
We need to finalise
the budget for the...
229
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,765
I envy you, mate.
Two women to keep happy?
230
00:14:41,123 --> 00:14:42,365
I can't even please one!
231
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,205
Maybe I should make the most of it.
232
00:14:44,504 --> 00:14:48,149
Nights out, fresh flesh, sex on tap...
233
00:14:48,185 --> 00:14:49,665
That's what keeps you young!
234
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,004
Rest of us sad sacks end up wearing
Lycra and running marathons!
235
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,205
I was always the sensible one,
growing up.
236
00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:01,520
Mm! Job, wife, kids...
237
00:15:03,477 --> 00:15:05,762
Before you had a chance
to be young and daft.
238
00:15:05,968 --> 00:15:07,488
So maybe I've earned this.
239
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,960
Trip to the Pleasure Beach...
240
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,285
..while the rest of us
sit at home playing dominoes.
241
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,405
Oh, I just don't want
to hurt Bel, though.
242
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,694
Then don't. Be daft.
243
00:15:19,605 --> 00:15:20,733
And careful.
244
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,175
What d'you do to that woman's car?
245
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,205
Exactly what she had coming to her.
246
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,765
The 68-year-old librarian?
You got the wrong car!
247
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,965
Oh. Collateral damage.
I'll get her next time.
248
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,045
Next time?
249
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,525
Well, you'll do sod-all.
You haven't got the balls.
250
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,965
I'm going to put hair-dye
in her washing machine.
251
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,685
Oh, well, that'll show her...
252
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,320
..what her kecks look like
with caramel highlights!
253
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:56,580
How much does all this hurt?
254
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,520
Sometimes, I can't get
breath in my body.
255
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:08,325
Take hold of that. Tie a big bow on it.
256
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:13,325
And know that the only time
that hurt stops
257
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,520
is when hers starts.
258
00:16:31,048 --> 00:16:33,201
_
259
00:16:35,391 --> 00:16:40,059
_
260
00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:51,100
We need to do something so bad...
261
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:56,405
..that they'll still wake up
sweating in 20 years' time.
262
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,525
Them?
263
00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,280
- Her and Wes.
- Not him. He can't know that I know.
264
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,765
It's tying one hand behind your back
before you even start.
265
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,200
Don't you dare say a word to him.
266
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,205
Me and Wes still have a chance
to work things out.
267
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,685
What? By pretending it never happened?
268
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:13,765
Hopefully.
269
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,304
Until the next time.
270
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,845
You can't let him think
he's got away with it.
271
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,497
Men are dogs.
272
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,045
It's your fault for not training him.
273
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,125
Don't blame the dog, blame the owner.
274
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,754
All right, you two?
275
00:17:26,954 --> 00:17:28,086
Yeah.
276
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,085
Deep down, Wes knows that
what he's doing is wrong.
277
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,325
He's still doing it!
278
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,925
And he'll keep lying to your face
and laughing behind your back
279
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,240
until you teach him he can't.
280
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,885
I might lose him for good.
281
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,533
He's already gone.
282
00:17:45,291 --> 00:17:47,411
Wes stays out of this.
283
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,542
I tried to get out of it, but Marco...
284
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,485
You remember me saying about Marco?
285
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,085
Great guy, solid, but he's going
to owe this bloke
286
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:59,005
a shed-load if he can't get
his contract job done tonight,
287
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,445
and he's helped me out in the past,
288
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,405
so we're going to pull an all-nighter,
289
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,336
which, in my shoes,
you'd do the same, right?
290
00:18:04,442 --> 00:18:05,799
Sure.
291
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,188
Is there any chance you could
get me some new pants?
292
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,005
- These are a bit...
- Knackered?
293
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,086
Naff.
294
00:18:12,122 --> 00:18:14,125
I thought you liked those,
you said they didn't ride up.
295
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,240
Did I? 20 years ago!
296
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,400
Have you seen the state?
297
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,285
Cheers, love!
298
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,360
PHONE BEEPS
299
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:31,146
_
300
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,080
She said yes?
301
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,720
You make sure Wes has a good night.
302
00:18:38,980 --> 00:18:41,100
And I'll make sure Bel
gets to hear of it.
303
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:45,965
Where is he?
304
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,045
Be here any minute.
305
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,125
I'm telling you, this guy Wes
is hot, hot, hot!
306
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,760
He is!
307
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,080
Wes!
308
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,405
Do I look all right?
309
00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:10,980
You look amazing. Ten years younger.
310
00:19:13,494 --> 00:19:16,334
Here he is. Everybody, this is Wes.
311
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,365
And you've met Dante already.
312
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,000
Mate. Come and sit over here.
313
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,200
Right, cheers, everybody.
314
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,805
Leanne's lying to me about where
she's going. Where she's been.
315
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,920
I've been following her.
316
00:19:43,219 --> 00:19:45,325
If you know someone's password,
317
00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:48,001
you can enter it
and trace where they are.
318
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,520
It's meant to be for when
you lose your phone.
319
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,485
But it also works when
your partner's lying through
320
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,405
their back teeth about who
they're shagging.
321
00:20:01,082 --> 00:20:02,240
Hey...
322
00:20:05,032 --> 00:20:10,965
Part of me wants to scream,
kick and fight to win her back.
323
00:20:11,648 --> 00:20:13,140
And the other part?
324
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,920
Thinks I should just walk away.
325
00:20:17,060 --> 00:20:21,180
She lies so easily now,
I'm not sure I could ever trust her.
326
00:20:25,580 --> 00:20:27,060
It's like a bone.
327
00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:29,660
Once it's broken...
328
00:20:30,839 --> 00:20:33,364
..you're always wondering,
if you put pressure on it,
329
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,920
is it going to snap?
330
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,266
What will you do?
331
00:20:38,812 --> 00:20:41,692
If I don't respect myself
enough to walk away...
332
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,800
..how can she respect me enough to stay?
333
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,000
Do you moisturise?
334
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,325
No, I didn't think so.
335
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:01,885
Hey, we've all been trying
to score Lol for years.
336
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,381
What's your secret?
337
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,365
Not wearing make-up.
338
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,285
HE LAUGHS
339
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,230
Nah, we all reckon you're
working that old-man-daddy-shit.
340
00:21:10,266 --> 00:21:11,235
Oh, yeah?
341
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,325
So, how d'you nab her?
Did you buy her a pony?
342
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,965
Take her to Disneyland?
343
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,965
What are you two gassing about?
Or shouldn't I ask?
344
00:21:20,001 --> 00:21:22,707
Hey, Wes! Get one of these down you.
345
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,925
CHEERING, YELLING
346
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:30,760
Yeah, baby!
347
00:21:44,015 --> 00:21:45,615
_
348
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,040
Wow.
349
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,405
Where to next?
350
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,205
Next? I'm a bit knacked.
351
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:23,925
C'mon, mate. Need to
get some practice in.
352
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,741
We've booked a villa in Ibiza
next year. You been?
353
00:22:26,777 --> 00:22:29,497
Lol's going to ask you to come. Say yes?
354
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,080
It's mad out there. You'll love it!
355
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,205
Wow. Look at you.
356
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,120
Gorge or what, huh?
357
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,085
Ding-Dong won't engage
with my billboards.
358
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:01,325
She's scared shitless of me having
even one split second of success.
359
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,485
Couldn't get her even
to look at the budget.
360
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,125
So I signed the paperwork anyway.
361
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:07,564
Is that so?
362
00:23:08,174 --> 00:23:11,525
Why's everyone trying to shove
Bel in, 'stead of me?
363
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,285
I am that salon.
364
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,085
Without me, it'd be as popular
as a dead dog at Crufts!
365
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,245
Why won't she treat me as her equal?
366
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,325
Maybe you need to show Bel
you've changed.
367
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:23,767
- What's wrong with who I am?
- Nothing. You're amazing.
368
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,584
You just need to let Bel see that.
369
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:31,315
You've got your big launch tomorrow.
Whole family will be there.
370
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,565
To celebrate you.
And your billboard campaign.
371
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:39,165
Yeah, and so will she, being
all nicey-nicey so I look bad!
372
00:23:39,488 --> 00:23:41,125
But you're right, I am totes amazing!
373
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,120
It's time they all knew it.
374
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,445
I will not be seen
as some second-rate Bel!
375
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:51,240
I am not keeping her seat warm! Am I?
376
00:23:52,522 --> 00:23:55,967
- Teddy Bear? Am I?
- Huh? No, Baby Bear.
377
00:23:56,744 --> 00:23:58,640
You're nobody's substitute.
378
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,325
Watch your step.
You're going to knock me over.
379
00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:07,560
She just looks at me
and says, "So tasty!"
380
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,200
Hang on, hang on, wait for us.
381
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,765
SHE HYPERVENTILATES
382
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,765
SHE SCREAMS
383
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,280
Oh, my God!
384
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,040
MUFFLED SCREAMS
385
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:07,867
You're right, Mum.
386
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,040
He's lying to me
and laughing behind my back.
387
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,400
Let's get both the bastards.
388
00:25:39,704 --> 00:25:41,045
Great night, eh?
389
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,200
Yeah!
390
00:25:44,926 --> 00:25:46,366
(IRONICALLY) Great.
391
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,685
At this morning's session with
Lorelei, I'm going to tell her
392
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:53,965
that I'm so...
393
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,045
Grateful for everything
you've been doing.
394
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,365
Everybody's been saying
how great I'm looking.
395
00:25:58,400 --> 00:25:59,405
You are.
396
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:00,525
Yeah, you are.
397
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,725
Thanks.
398
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,565
Our Leanne's stupid marketing nonsense
399
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,005
might actually come in handy.
400
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,045
I'm going to tell Lorelei...
401
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:11,965
I've got a friend, owes me a favour,
runs a marketing company.
402
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,165
They do these big billboards
that you drive around the city,
403
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,725
and I thought maybe we could do one
of them with your business on it.
404
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,205
What do you reckon?
405
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,285
She'd lap it up.
406
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,565
Then, I'll tell her I want to
organise an unveiling of the
407
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,965
billboard outside a bar in town
and that she should...
408
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,280
Get all your clients
and your mates there.
409
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,845
Our lot will be at Leanne's
billboard bollocks next door.
410
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,525
And that's when we unleash the beast.
411
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,565
Yes!
412
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,080
SHE LAUGHS Love it.
413
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:48,560
A minute?
414
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,565
You two seem very...
chummy at the moment.
415
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,697
- Anything you want to tell me?
- No.
416
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,485
I just think we've finally found
a few things in common.
417
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:04,084
Well, whatever you and her
are cooking up, stop it.
418
00:27:04,210 --> 00:27:07,895
This won't just end up hurting him.
Think about the kids.
419
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,325
D'you want to poison
them against him, eh?
420
00:27:10,735 --> 00:27:12,215
Oh, Dad...
421
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,686
Oh, come on, you must have had
something in common with her mates.
422
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,319
In common with her mates? Er, zilch.
423
00:27:19,859 --> 00:27:22,544
They sing theme tunes to kids' shows
I've never heard of.
424
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:27,345
They go on about Giggs.
As in footy? No. Grime artist.
425
00:27:27,706 --> 00:27:32,325
Seriously? I've only just caught
onto Banksy. And I'm knackered.
426
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:34,285
Like, Walking Dead knackered.
427
00:27:34,597 --> 00:27:37,565
Now Lorelei's invited me to some
media do for her PT business.
428
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,760
Which is on the same night as I'm
meant to rock up to Leanne's launch.
429
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,165
What d'you know about this media
thing she's invited Wes to?
430
00:27:46,614 --> 00:27:49,294
One of her clients sprung it on her.
431
00:27:50,151 --> 00:27:51,606
He told her he's going.
432
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:57,485
That'll go down well, Wes not
showing at a family gig.
433
00:27:57,683 --> 00:27:59,208
How'd he get on last night?
434
00:27:59,244 --> 00:28:00,524
Everyone loved him.
435
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,920
Apart from being a nasty little
cheat, he's a lovely guy.
436
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:06,525
I knew you'd get on.
437
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,040
He was really cool
when his son came out.
438
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:12,805
What d'you mean?
439
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,874
Huh? Just that the whole gay thing
wouldn't get in the way.
440
00:28:17,556 --> 00:28:18,958
Who said I was gay?
441
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:24,120
Nobody, er... I just knew.
442
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:26,080
How?
443
00:28:28,155 --> 00:28:29,477
So, you're not?
444
00:28:29,513 --> 00:28:31,968
No, I am. But you can't just assume it.
445
00:28:32,007 --> 00:28:33,685
- Why would I think you were anything but?
- Because!
446
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:37,965
You dress nice. You're polite.
You look after yourself.
447
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,165
You go to the gym.
You're never out the salon.
448
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:42,840
Homophobe!
449
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,197
How...?
450
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:47,598
Dante!
451
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:57,920
Taxis will be here soon.
452
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:09,125
I love you, girl, and I've long
since give up trying to make you
453
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:10,445
something you're not.
454
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,845
But I'll not stand by whilst you
poison the well with our kids.
455
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,365
Oh, keep your callipers on.
456
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:17,605
If we had it your way,
457
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,005
they'd be laying on the road
with tyre marks up their back.
458
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:21,240
Bollocks!
459
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:27,765
I picked that dress up
from the dry cleaners.
460
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,250
I've never seen it before.
461
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,285
Which meant she wore it on
a night out I didn't know about
462
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:37,285
with someone I didn't know,
looking for someone else's approval.
463
00:29:37,712 --> 00:29:38,920
Mitchell?
464
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:42,582
Yeah.
465
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,205
The billboard driver's parking outside,
466
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,325
after Lorelei's lot have arrived.
467
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:48,965
Wes will be there about ten.
468
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,360
And I've told Lorelei to meet me
next door in about an hour.
469
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:54,765
Since when were they such bezzies?
470
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,485
I think it's lovely her and Mum
are getting closer.
471
00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:58,920
Like me and Diz.
472
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,925
It's always about her, though.
I've organised all of this.
473
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,805
And "blot on the landscape" is
acting like she's star of the show.
474
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,485
Were just saying how amazing you looked.
475
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:12,038
Beautiful dress. Few more weeks,
you'll fit it a treat.
476
00:30:13,264 --> 00:30:14,970
What? I said it was nice.
477
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:19,565
Any news of the billboard?
478
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,845
Driver said it should be there
in the next hour.
479
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,885
Sign-up fee seems hefty, but it means
480
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,125
I could negotiate a massive discount.
481
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:27,960
And I looked gorge on an iPad.
482
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,445
Imagine me blown up
on the back of a truck.
483
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:35,152
Mitchell calls me
Manchester's Alan Sugar.
484
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,005
I know you can't bear me
being in the spotlight.
485
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:39,360
But you should sack the frown.
486
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,725
Adds years to you. Trust me,
you can't afford it.
487
00:30:44,244 --> 00:30:46,605
Do you know what else we can't afford?
488
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,605
You, you daft cow.
489
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,645
No wonder Mitchell loves you.
490
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,485
You've just given him five and
a half grand for a 1K billboard!
491
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,885
Bel, give it a break.
Leanne, we can make use of it.
492
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:57,005
Tell her, Teddy Bear!
493
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,520
Yeah, tell her, Teddy Bear.
You're the accountant.
494
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,600
It's way overpriced.
495
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:06,605
But we can write it off
as a loss for the company.
496
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,805
Genius! You are hired!
497
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,880
(YELLS) Bel! Over 'ere.
498
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,845
I've never seen you look more
like your mother than in the last
499
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,950
- five minutes. What's going on?
- Nothing.
500
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,205
You've never lied to me.
And you are now.
501
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,827
So... what are you and her up to?
502
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,325
Teaching them a lesson.
503
00:31:32,230 --> 00:31:35,365
Whatever comfort you think you're
going to take from this, you won't.
504
00:31:35,777 --> 00:31:38,325
- I have to see this through.
- Your mother...
505
00:31:39,181 --> 00:31:41,244
..put me into this wheelchair.
506
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,965
What? How?
507
00:31:46,515 --> 00:31:47,640
Oh...
508
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,525
It was my idea to start the swinging.
509
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:53,974
Your mother weren't keen.
510
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,565
But I knew how much she loved me,
511
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:00,880
and I took advantage of that.
We had this one rule.
512
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:04,760
No shitting in our own back yard.
513
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,405
She had a best friend. Claire.
514
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:12,765
As you might imagine,
your mum don't make friends easy.
515
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,605
But Claire was special.
516
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,205
Which, er, shouldn't have,
but the fact she was off bounds
517
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,160
made her more attractive to me.
518
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,485
I didn't know she'd found out about us
519
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:27,040
until half a second before
she'd pushed me out that window.
520
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,365
She don't know I know.
I mean, I was pissed.
521
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:37,285
We were both pissed as parrots.
Anyway...
522
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:43,605
..in the hospital, I could see
how bloody devastated she was,
523
00:32:44,139 --> 00:32:45,880
so I lied.
524
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,805
I said I fell.
525
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:50,890
Oh, Dad...
526
00:32:50,926 --> 00:32:54,075
No, no. Save your sympathy.
I deserve this.
527
00:32:55,240 --> 00:33:00,880
What I did cost her.
She's never trusted anyone since.
528
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:06,800
And revenge has a funny way
of bouncing back on you.
529
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:09,520
I'm in this chair...
530
00:33:11,510 --> 00:33:13,685
..but she's had to look after me
the last 30 years.
531
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,200
HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY
532
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,280
You want to sort this?
533
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:23,525
Talk to him.
534
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:24,840
Tell him how you feel.
535
00:33:26,722 --> 00:33:28,250
Taxis are here!
536
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:32,844
We've got to call it all off.
537
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:42,485
Anyone for starters?
538
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:46,205
There's a waiter and breaded
crab claw I've got me eye on!
539
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,605
- Oh!
- He's not picking up!
540
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,245
- Who?
- The billboard guy!
541
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,405
I need to tell him not
to drive the van here!
542
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,085
Did I not say? I've texted him.
543
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,342
You have? Oh, thank God for that!
544
00:33:56,378 --> 00:33:57,447
Was he OK about it?
545
00:33:57,483 --> 00:33:59,365
Yeah, he had some sort
of family emergency,
546
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,205
couldn't deliver within the hour.
547
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:02,685
Oh, my God, relief!
548
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,565
So he's had to drop it off early.
549
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:05,725
What?
550
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,405
And he can't pick it up till tomorrow.
551
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:08,920
Get your coat!
552
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,960
I'll tell you who's a genius...
553
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:23,040
Oh, well, I get what he sees in her.
554
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:28,640
Well, you wanted to rip
her face off? Get ripping.
555
00:34:35,930 --> 00:34:37,885
Well, don't just stand there, help me!
556
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,400
He's going to be here any minute.
557
00:34:42,300 --> 00:34:44,140
This is you all over.
558
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:46,525
Leanne's a snidey little cow,
559
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,085
but least she's got the guts
to stick up for herself.
560
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,061
Not now!
561
00:34:50,097 --> 00:34:52,885
Well, when? You do realise
you've asked for all this?
562
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:56,365
I have not! I've been a good,
loving, loyal wife.
563
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:57,532
Not like you!
564
00:34:57,568 --> 00:35:00,315
Oh, do you want the
coconut or the cuddly toy?
565
00:35:00,351 --> 00:35:03,045
Least me and your dad aren't
shagging around behind
566
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,525
- each others' backs.
- Yeah, but you still hurt each other.
567
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:07,645
Oh, that's love. Grow up!
568
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,925
Least I know where my
old man is every night.
569
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:11,165
Yeah! In a wheelchair.
570
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,800
PHONE RINGS
571
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,125
Long story short, gave taxi
wrong pick-up time,
572
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,845
so I'm going to be there stupid early.
573
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,725
- Where are you?
- Er, nowhere near.
574
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:28,285
Er, exactly how "stupid early"
are you going to be?
575
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:32,205
Er, just around the corner?
No worries. I'll just wait.
576
00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:33,760
No, Lorelei...
577
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:38,685
She's only seconds away.
So, I don't care how you do it,
578
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:40,120
but sort it!
579
00:35:44,403 --> 00:35:48,043
Where are you going? Mum!
You're not ripping!
580
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,320
GLASS SHATTERS
581
00:35:53,190 --> 00:35:54,125
Get in.
582
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,519
- What you doing?
- Sorting it.
583
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:05,600
Ah! Ha-ha!
584
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:16,445
Oh, if you don't want tonight
to go totally tits-up, call her,
585
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:20,040
distract her before she sees this van.
586
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:22,760
Oh, shit.
587
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,365
Come on, come on, come on.
588
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,022
That's it.
589
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:30,405
Hi.
590
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:35,548
Lorelei. Er, there's been
a terrible mix-up and the, er...
591
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,605
..the man...
592
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,405
..the man that was doing the poster,
593
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:41,525
he's had a problem and
he can't, he can't do it.
594
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,685
Oh, it's fine. Sheila, you
sound really stressed.
595
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:50,645
You've no idea! Er, I'm so sorry.
596
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:54,000
I, er... I, er... Can we cancel?
597
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:58,880
I feel really awful. I feel
like I've let you down.
598
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,722
I can't believe how upset you are.
Honestly, it's fine.
599
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:04,632
PHONE BEEPS
600
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,341
- Oh, it's Wes.
- Where?
601
00:37:06,414 --> 00:37:09,900
- On the phone.
- I've got to go.
602
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:15,880
Hi.
603
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,000
No. That's terrible news.
604
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,725
OK. So we're going somewhere else.
605
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:37,240
It's not going to be a late one, is it?
606
00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:43,680
OK. I've just got to nip somewhere
else first. Won't be long.
607
00:37:46,663 --> 00:37:49,040
- It's raw.
- You don't like raw?
608
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:52,640
Smile, Mum!
609
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:57,605
Oh, here she is. Waltzing in and out
whenever she fancies.
610
00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,005
It's just like at work.
611
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:00,565
Up the duff, off she goes.
612
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,845
- Kids go to uni, back she swans.
- It was her choice.
613
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:07,445
Yeah? You should've seen her face
when YOU came back to work.
614
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,325
"Only just popped it out
and now she's back at the salon.
615
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,365
"Can't understand women
who put career before kids."
616
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,325
No. What I said was
I couldn't with mine.
617
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,205
So, Disney's not as
important as your two?
618
00:38:17,240 --> 00:38:18,805
I don't want any rows.
619
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,514
Did you want to win
your ice-skating final?
620
00:38:21,550 --> 00:38:22,755
When I was nine?
621
00:38:22,791 --> 00:38:24,805
Some wounds don't heal.
622
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:28,085
Especially when your sister loosens
your blades before you go on!
623
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,245
You dared me. I didn't know
you'd break your ankle!
624
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,645
It's ancient history.
Can we just have a quiet night?
625
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:34,405
My ankle's never been the same.
626
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:38,045
Did Bel ever tell you she thinks
tattooing's a waste of space?
627
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:39,325
- That's not true!
- No?
628
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,725
OK, yeah, when we started,
I did wonder if the rooms could be
629
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,885
better used, you know,
for other beauty treatments.
630
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,205
She was getting us all ganged-up.
Ready to get rid of you.
631
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:49,245
- I was thinking about you.
- If you thought it, you could've said it to my face.
632
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,125
Too busy, two-faced
and so high-and-mighty,
633
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:52,765
she's started collecting air miles!
634
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:56,005
That ain't true! Mum don't look down
and she don't talk behind your back!
635
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,391
Did she tell you she
sobbed her heart out
636
00:38:58,427 --> 00:39:00,645
when you shook your little
spangles out the closet?
637
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:01,863
Pack it in, Leanne.
638
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:03,605
Mum?
639
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,445
Swear on his life you didn't wish
him straight when he told you.
640
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:07,422
Did you?
641
00:39:07,925 --> 00:39:10,765
For less than a second.
It's not how she's making out.
642
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,280
Mum...
643
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:16,885
Bloody hell!
644
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:18,525
You were never there for Mum.
645
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,525
No, you're right.
646
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:21,725
Ty...
647
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,165
Gave her no support
when Dad had his accident.
648
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:25,765
Almost like you blamed her!
649
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,725
You did. Very judgmental.
650
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:29,565
And was I wrong, eh?
651
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:32,520
Since it turns out it was you
who pushed him out of the window!
652
00:39:43,620 --> 00:39:47,060
He deserved it. Cheating bastard.
653
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:50,685
Speaking of cheats...
654
00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:53,000
- Sorry I'm late.
- Mum!
655
00:39:55,980 --> 00:39:58,940
So, that's what you two's
been thick as thieves about?
656
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,560
Little Miss Perfect is shagging around!
657
00:40:06,380 --> 00:40:08,973
- I'd never cheat on you.
- Do we believe her?
658
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,005
Ah! There's your answer.
659
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:20,525
You hard-faced, snide-arsed witch!
660
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,205
There's nothing you love more
than other people's misery!
661
00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:26,165
Jealous, are we? That somebody
might have a better life than you?
662
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,525
Who'd be jealous of you?
Yeah, your kids despise you,
663
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,405
your husband's sussed you out
664
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,325
and the guy you really
wanted is married to me!
665
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:37,925
Is he? Wow! And what makes you
think he really wanted you?
666
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,205
Well, just ask anyone! Ask Teddy!
667
00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:41,800
You ask him.
668
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:51,688
Did you see that?
669
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,920
She's the witch, not me.
670
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,400
DISTANT SIRENS
671
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,920
How did we not know
about Dad and Bel did?
672
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,445
- How long has she known?
- And why didn't she tell us?
673
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,320
Cos she'll say anything to
be centre of attention.
674
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:29,205
Oh, come on, sack the sympathy!
It's complete and utter bollocks.
675
00:41:29,522 --> 00:41:30,920
Dad fell.
676
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,160
And Teddy wouldn't touch
her with a Taser!
677
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:36,965
She's ruined my night,
678
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,485
but if you think I'm going
to sit here snivelling,
679
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:42,596
wrecking me 50 quid mascara
over that sack of spuds...
680
00:41:43,526 --> 00:41:45,801
I'm grabbing Ted, we're out of here.
681
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:50,706
I'm sorry, Ted, I...
682
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:55,600
I don't know why I said that to Leanne.
683
00:41:57,469 --> 00:41:59,605
You and I have only ever been mates.
684
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:01,085
Good mates.
685
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:02,387
Best mates.
686
00:42:03,340 --> 00:42:04,712
But that was it.
687
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,920
I think we did once grab
a Christmas kiss.
688
00:42:13,022 --> 00:42:14,342
Did we?
689
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,014
You don't remember?
690
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,485
Yeah, actually, it's coming back to me.
691
00:42:22,366 --> 00:42:24,002
I think I kind of liked it.
692
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:29,000
Then later, you talked me
into giving Wes a go.
693
00:42:30,340 --> 00:42:31,481
Did I?
694
00:42:31,517 --> 00:42:35,085
I remember, I said, "I
think he's a bit immature."
695
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,880
- And you said...
- Don't go off first impressions.
696
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,720
The right guy might be
right in front of you.
697
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,160
Still good advice, Bel!
698
00:42:51,403 --> 00:42:52,843
You're right.
699
00:42:56,077 --> 00:42:58,717
I shouldn't let anything
stop me and Wes being happy.
700
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,365
I have to go home.
701
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,800
Need a lift?
702
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,200
No, I just need time on my own to think.
703
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,720
PHONE VIBRATES
704
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,000
So, I hope you're not picking up
because you're out with Wes.
705
00:43:48,240 --> 00:43:51,720
Well, it's all kicked off.
Exactly as we wanted.
706
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:56,000
So, now I need you to give Wes
the night of his life!
707
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:05,085
- Where've you been?
- Er, just putting money in the meter.
708
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:06,400
I was upset.
709
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:14,400
I'm just glad everyone's finally
seen Bel for who she really is.
710
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,525
Can we go home?
711
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,594
Yep.
712
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:38,560
Bloody hell.
713
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:49,045
Oh, my goodness me!
714
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:52,000
Oh, my God, look at the state!
715
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:01,200
- Are we dropping you off?
- No, I'm coming with you.
716
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,600
- Home?
- Home? It's early!
717
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,645
Josh has got us on the guest list
for this secret club night in Salford.
718
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:11,005
I've got work in the morning.
719
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,964
It's a retro '80s throwback night.
You'll fit right in.
720
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:13,923
Come on.
721
00:45:13,959 --> 00:45:16,365
If you can't keep up, we can swing
by the retirement home on the way.
722
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,365
Keep your snotty schneb
out of this, Josh.
723
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:20,005
- The pair of you!
- Or you'll what?
724
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:21,925
All right, out of the car,
you little shit.
725
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,445
- Ready when you are!
- Stop it!
726
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,407
Wes, what's wrong?
727
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,325
I'm sorry, but I can't cope
with this. Not tonight.
728
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,085
- Come on!
- I am shagged out, I'm stressed,
729
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:33,884
I'm too old for this shit.
730
00:45:34,381 --> 00:45:36,765
And I am sick of hanging out
with dickheads
731
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:39,445
who think they invented dancing,
drinking and drugs
732
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:42,325
and refer to the '80s as retro!
733
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,440
Ever heard of the Hacienda,
you cock-end?
734
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:49,400
Wes!
735
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,200
You should have told us about Dad.
736
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:32,400
How about you take the day off?
737
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,445
KLAXON BLARES, SHE GASPS
738
00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:59,520
(YELLS) Stupid cow!
739
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:10,525
You were miles away. You weren't
still worrying about last night?
740
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,285
The no-show billboard?
741
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:14,640
I can't quite figure you out.
742
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:20,925
It's weird, cos you pay me to help you,
743
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:22,600
but you're always there, helping me.
744
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:27,204
Willing to listen. Never judging.
745
00:47:27,877 --> 00:47:32,000
It's like we have this connection,
like we share this thing...
746
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:35,280
..I can't put my finger on.
747
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,120
But despite that, I feel
like there's something else.
748
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:43,720
Some sadness...
749
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:46,880
..that you're too scared to talk about.
750
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,480
You know, life isn't perfect.
751
00:47:53,643 --> 00:47:56,965
I think it's about finding a way to say,
752
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:01,485
"This is how it is, and can
I be at peace with that?"
753
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:04,685
And the tree that doesn't
bend in the wind, breaks.
754
00:48:04,720 --> 00:48:06,205
Does that make sense?
755
00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:08,320
- I guess.
- Hey.
756
00:48:11,274 --> 00:48:12,714
It's a make-up pressie.
757
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:16,360
We had our first barney last night.
758
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:20,685
And I did think when I were buying
'em, he moans about the ones
759
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:23,400
his missus gets, so why doesn't
he buy his own bloody pants?
760
00:48:27,487 --> 00:48:31,285
You know that dress he got me?
Nothing happened, did it?
761
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:32,677
When you were there?
762
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,485
No, nothing. How d'you mean?
763
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:37,965
No, I just, er...
764
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:42,080
I found a rip in it that
I'd not noticed before.
765
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:45,280
- How strange.
- Yeah.
766
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:52,245
You know what, we should make up for
our missed night out, go for drink.
767
00:48:52,803 --> 00:48:54,807
Yeah, great.
768
00:48:56,325 --> 00:48:58,405
Me, you and our other halves?
769
00:49:03,993 --> 00:49:05,753
Bye.
770
00:49:16,240 --> 00:49:18,960
PHONE BEEPS
771
00:49:21,522 --> 00:49:22,522
_
772
00:49:26,737 --> 00:49:28,782
_
773
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:33,920
PHONE BEEPS
774
00:49:35,574 --> 00:49:37,340
_
775
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:42,120
Sorry. Didn't handle
that well yesterday.
776
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:48,565
I just wanted you to see me as
your son before you met me as a...
777
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,200
..gay bloke.
778
00:49:51,229 --> 00:49:52,389
Why?
779
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:58,680
Mate, it makes no difference to me.
Why does it to you? Hm?
780
00:50:00,875 --> 00:50:06,436
What I feel for Bel, I've
never known anything like it.
781
00:50:06,998 --> 00:50:10,645
From the moment I first felt it,
I promised myself I'd make it happen.
782
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:12,405
You've seen what I'm willing to do.
783
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:15,280
So who am I to tell you
who you can and can't love?
784
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:17,920
And anyway, why would you care?
785
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:20,700
I just want you to be proud of me.
786
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,040
Then you find someone you love...
787
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:32,440
..and don't let anything
come between you. Hm?
788
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,525
Did she get to hear? About him cheating?
789
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:53,320
No, hopefully next time.
790
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:56,920
Right, then.
791
00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:00,760
We nearly lost Wes last night
because you went AWOL.
792
00:51:02,934 --> 00:51:06,654
I need my best lieutenant...
793
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,120
..back in action.
794
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:26,805
TV PLAYS QUIETLY
795
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:28,713
Room on there for a little one?
796
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,600
- I haven't been having an affair.
- You don't need to say it.
797
00:51:40,222 --> 00:51:42,747
Wouldn't blame you if you had,
the way I've been with you lately.
798
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,085
Last few weeks, since the kids left.
799
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:46,965
It's all been a bit crazy.
800
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:51,165
Relationships change. Maybe
we haven't acknowledged that.
801
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:53,200
Too scared to ask questions.
802
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:55,720
Things have to evolve.
803
00:51:58,280 --> 00:51:59,400
Or die.
804
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:03,117
Are you bored of us?
805
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:06,120
No.
806
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:15,845
What's wrong with boring?
I like boring. I like this.
807
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:21,680
Staying in with you.
We don't have to try. New's nice.
808
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:24,187
Normal's better.
809
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:26,640
Mum and Dad aren't normal.
810
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:28,880
(LAUGHS) Nope. They are not.
811
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,245
From the outside, it looks
like they'd be miserable.
812
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:38,160
Screwing around and cheating
on each other. But they're not.
813
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:40,840
They love each other.
814
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:44,720
And they've lasted.
815
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:51,160
Maybe it's because they accept
that life isn't perfect.
816
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:57,580
The tree that doesn't bend... breaks.
817
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:20,080
PHONE BEEPS
818
00:53:23,318 --> 00:53:25,941
_
819
00:53:56,151 --> 00:53:57,956
I can't quite figure you out.
820
00:53:57,992 --> 00:53:59,712
Is it Sheila?
821
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:03,760
Like we share this thing
I can't put my finger on.
822
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:13,325
Latte?
823
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:15,325
Kale & beetroot spritzer.
824
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:16,800
Yum.
825
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:55,325
Oh, hi there, bitch!
Or should I say, Bel?
826
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:56,845
I took you at face value.
827
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,285
I went the extra mile on your
programme because I really
828
00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:01,485
wanted to help you get fit,
turn back the clock.
829
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:04,845
And in return, you've used me.
Talk about two-faced.
830
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,485
Yeah, let's talk about that.
831
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:09,165
About the conniving witch
832
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:12,405
who got her claws into
someone else's husband.
833
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:16,205
How's that working out by the way?
Dumped me yet, has he?
834
00:55:16,240 --> 00:55:18,405
Asked for a divorce
and moved in with you?
835
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:21,520
Oh, wait, he hasn't!
Why d'you think that is?
836
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:26,500
Come on.
837
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:30,898
There you go.
838
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:34,954
I've been thinking
about where we'll live.
839
00:55:34,990 --> 00:55:35,932
Oh?
840
00:55:35,968 --> 00:55:38,725
Yeah, I've seen this amazing thatched
cottage in the middle of nowhere.
841
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:41,085
I'm more of a townie...
842
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:43,885
- No shops, no traffic...
- I kind of like the city.
843
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:46,651
Two bedrooms, you know,
for when the kids come to stay.
844
00:55:46,687 --> 00:55:48,865
Kids? What kids?
845
00:55:48,901 --> 00:55:51,805
Your kids. My step-kids.
846
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaking of which, when do I meet them?
847
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:58,165
Is that really a good idea?
848
00:55:58,200 --> 00:55:59,805
Obviously, they'll hate me at first.
849
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:01,845
But once they realise
I make you happy...
850
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:03,885
Their mum made me happy,
that's what they'll say.
851
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:06,005
And I'll say, "Watch me
take it to the next level."
852
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:07,365
It's not a competition.
853
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:08,845
What would you call it, then?
854
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:10,765
PHONE RINGS
855
00:56:11,609 --> 00:56:14,824
Client. Won't be a sec.
856
00:56:15,199 --> 00:56:18,324
Hello. Yep, speaking.
857
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:19,960
What can I do for you?
858
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:23,844
- What am I up to?
- Mm.
859
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:25,645
I'm spying on your life!
860
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:28,365
I'm trying to work out
how to stitch you up!
861
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:29,845
And how about this?
862
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:31,245
D'you blame me?
863
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:33,885
Believe me, I never wanted any of this.
864
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:37,440
But if you won't fight fair,
why should I?
865
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:07,885
�4, please.
866
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:09,560
Keep the change.
867
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:15,520
Bye.
868
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:20,925
Sorry.
869
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:22,960
HE SIGHS
870
00:57:23,010 --> 00:57:27,560
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