Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,303
- The lawn mower really helps.
2
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:07,306
[kazoo music]
3
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:10,009
♪
4
00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,543
♪ I go to work
5
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,412
♪ although I hate my job
6
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:16,081
♪ but hating your job
7
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:21,353
♪ is better than no job
at all ♪
8
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:24,256
♪ I want an ipod
9
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:26,158
♪ 'cause I think they're cool
10
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,293
♪ but I can't afford it
11
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:32,664
♪ I can't afford things
that are cool ♪
12
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,466
♪
13
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:38,103
♪ I wanna work toward
14
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:42,174
♪ a better me
15
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:47,780
♪ but change
takes too much energy ♪
16
00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:50,215
♪ so why try?
17
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,418
♪ it's too hard to try
18
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:54,286
♪ so why try?
19
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:57,589
♪ we're all gonna die
20
00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,225
♪
21
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,795
♪ I got two friends
22
00:01:02,797 --> 00:01:05,164
♪ and they're kinda boring
23
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:07,099
♪ but I'm kinda boring
24
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:10,169
♪ I guess that's why
I have boring friends ♪
25
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,207
♪ I wanna be funny
26
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,842
♪ like those guys on tv
27
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:19,511
♪ when I pull down
my pants ♪
28
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:20,746
♪ my mom doesn't laugh
29
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:26,718
♪ at my jokes
30
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:32,724
♪ I wanna work toward
a better me ♪
31
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:38,730
♪ but change
takes too much energy ♪
32
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:41,266
♪ so why try?
33
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,602
♪ it's too hard to try
34
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,871
♪ why try?
35
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:48,207
♪ we're all gonna die
36
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:56,281
♪
37
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:10,162
♪ girls are real cute
38
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,164
♪ but I can't talk to girls
39
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,666
♪ I get really scared
40
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,235
♪ the priest
even told me ♪
41
00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,337
♪ I'm gay
42
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:22,641
♪
43
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:29,815
- Well...
This is awkward.
44
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,151
- Not an every day occurrence.
45
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:34,520
That's for sure.
46
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:38,557
- I suppose introductions
are in order.
47
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:42,294
Gregory.
48
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:45,364
- Gary.
49
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:49,334
Male narrator: And so began
the warm story
50
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:53,205
Of how two serial killers
became buddies.
51
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,641
Serial buddies.
52
00:02:55,643 --> 00:03:00,179
Gregory von gearhart
was a religious man.
53
00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:03,448
He even called
the church home...
54
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,918
Because it was.
55
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,820
He was a live-in maid.
56
00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:13,692
It was spring break
57
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,395
And gregory couldn't wait
to get his work done.
58
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:18,764
Father christopher
was also excited...
59
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,933
- [laughs]
60
00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:25,737
Narrator: Because it meant
a whole week without gregory.
61
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:29,641
- Good morning, father.
62
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,377
May I present you with
my farewell easter basket?
63
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,979
- Wow, super.
64
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:36,215
Just put it
with the others you made.
65
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:40,419
Narrator: Meanwhile,
gary "big mac" macarelli
66
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,755
Was also going to work.
67
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,694
He was punctual, stylish,
68
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:52,664
And as one of the country's
elite trophy makers,
69
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:56,501
He was proud
to wear the colors.
70
00:03:56,503 --> 00:04:00,405
Gary was also
eager to finish work...
71
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,773
[metal dings]
72
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:05,911
And head out on a spring break
of his own.
73
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,516
- Hey, chief.
74
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,318
- [snores]
75
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,021
- Maria.
76
00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:19,758
- No, no.
It's still a college ring.
77
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,993
Yep.
78
00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:23,462
Okay.
79
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:24,930
- Ring, ring.
80
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,732
I'll get it.
81
00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:28,267
Hello?
Gregory speaking.
82
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,002
Oh, hi, jesus,
how are you?
83
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:32,004
You like my easter baskets?
84
00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:34,039
You want me to make more?
85
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,908
I'll be sure
to let them know.
86
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,649
Oh, and good luck
with the ascension.
87
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:46,385
All right, bye-bye now.
88
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:49,588
- Chief, I blew the mothballs
off the old spring break jumper.
89
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:52,057
How do you like me now?
90
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:03,468
- Father, I know you
and the other parishioners
91
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,836
Desperately want me to stay,
92
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,004
But I'm afraid
I'm under strict orders
93
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,040
To begin my pilgrimage.
94
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:10,542
- The church doesn't
send people on pilgrimages.
95
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:13,612
Is that my stole?
96
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:17,582
- Just in time.
97
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:21,420
Gary, this is my nephew.
98
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:24,856
He wants to break into
the trophy business.
99
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,059
- My dad finally signed
my permission slip.
100
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,670
- Father, you know
I fully respect the church.
101
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:42,107
Why, as an altar boy,
I was practically raised
102
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:47,846
By the wandering,
loving hands of priests.
103
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,915
But I'm afraid...
[groans]
104
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:53,985
I don't work
for the church.
105
00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:58,957
I work for god.
106
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,126
- I'm hoping
you'll be my mentor.
107
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,462
Gramps says
you're the best ever.
108
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:06,565
Kravello was the best ever.
109
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:14,940
- One and two,
and one and two, and turn.
110
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:17,542
Narrator: And that's
when fate stepped in
111
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,144
In the form
of a news report.
112
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:20,645
- I'm emily frances.
113
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,080
Controversy is brewing
114
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,383
At laconia's annual
springle bell toy run
115
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,717
For underprivileged youth.
116
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,386
In attendance
at next week's event
117
00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,787
Will be infamous
motorcycle outlaw
118
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,956
Ralph "big chicken" morelli.
119
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,824
Recently paroled,
big chicken led
120
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,860
The chelsea white devils
in their heyday
121
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:38,764
When the gang, or "club,"
rivaled the hell's angels.
122
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:41,767
The white devils are expected
to have gathered the most toys,
123
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:46,938
With big chicken receiving
the event's top trophy.
124
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:04,790
Narrator:
Clearly, the buddies
125
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,158
Had different reasons
for killing.
126
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,427
One thing was for sure:
127
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:12,063
They both were determined
to get big chicken.
128
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:16,101
Spring break
had officially begun.
129
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:24,976
Along the way,
130
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:29,114
Gregory came upon
a haunted house of all things.
131
00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:35,854
[menacing laughter]
132
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,489
To gregory,
haunted houses
133
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:40,625
Were just
the devil's playground,
134
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:44,596
And someone
would have to pay.
135
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:48,033
Meanwhile,
gary came upon a vehicle
136
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:50,869
Owned by
a multi-sport athlete.
137
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:55,006
[drum beating]
138
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:58,076
[bell jingles]
139
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:12,491
- [grunting, choking]
140
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,662
- [wheezes]
141
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,771
Narrator: And this
brings us back to the woods,
142
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:29,140
Where our newly acquainted
serial buddies
143
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,810
Were burying
their respective kills.
144
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:34,145
Both: I was just--
145
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,882
You go first.
146
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:41,019
- Just a little me time
after the lenten madness.
147
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,922
- I'm on spring break
from work too.
148
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:46,691
Headed up to laconia...
For toy run.
149
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,194
- Well, this just
gets crazier and crazier.
150
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,863
I'm headed to the springle bell
toy run as well.
151
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:56,101
- Well, I guess
I'll just dig my hole then.
152
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,003
- Oh, don't be silly.
153
00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:01,973
There's--there's
plenty of room for two.
154
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:12,551
- Sir, you forgot
your wallet.
155
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:18,056
[shrieks]
156
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,624
I'm sorry I followed you.
157
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:21,159
- You're gonna pay
for this, rookie!
158
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:24,563
- I won't say anything!
I swear!
159
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,097
[thud]
160
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,600
- Back off, civilian.
This doesn't concern you.
161
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,101
- My goodness,
you're not going
162
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,236
To kill the poor lad,
are you?
163
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:35,740
- Back off I said!
164
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,109
So you want me
to be your mentor?
165
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,744
You wanna be my intern?
166
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,980
You do everything I say
from this moment forward.
167
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,349
Pick up that shovel.
168
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:48,587
Now March!
169
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,722
He won't say a word.
170
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,857
That is, if he wants me
to be his mentor.
171
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,093
- I don't understand.
- You wouldn't.
172
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,761
The intern-mentor
relationship
173
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,297
Is a sacred bond to we
old school trophy makers,
174
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:03,602
Forged centuries
before you were even born.
175
00:10:21,053 --> 00:10:22,187
- Oh.
[chuckles]
176
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,222
Castoreum.
177
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:27,092
It keeps animals
from digging up the remains.
178
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:28,393
Whoop.
179
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,662
Beavers secrete it
from their castor glands
180
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,063
To repel predators.
181
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,366
It's a wonderful
fertilizer too, however.
182
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:38,069
Which keeps
the whole process green.
183
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,871
[chuckles]
184
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:43,375
- Are you one of them scientific
geniuses or something?
185
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,677
- Well, if you consider
being a summa cum laude
186
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:49,948
From harvard university
a genius, then perhaps I am.
187
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,250
But a scientist?
A darwinian?
188
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:55,286
Heavens no.
I am a man of god.
189
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,855
- Oh.
190
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,990
- Now I'm sorry,
but in all this confusion,
191
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,792
I didn't catch your name.
192
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,127
- Oh--
- that's 'cause he only speaks
193
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,428
When spoken to.
194
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,064
- Well, I just spoke to him.
195
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:07,766
- I don't need that on me.
196
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,367
I don't need that on me!
197
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,702
Quit it!
198
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,303
That's it, I'm out of here.
199
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,905
I gotta get
to the springle bell toy run
200
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,907
And take out big chicken.
201
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,109
- Wait, gary, hold up.
202
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:21,446
Did I just hear you say
"big chicken"?
203
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,215
As in big chicken, evil outlaw
just released from prison?
204
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,117
- As in big chicken,
205
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,053
Predicted to win
the springle bell toy run.
206
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:30,355
- Oh, gary.
207
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,890
We should work together.
208
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,224
We--we do the same work.
209
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:34,459
We have the same
spring break.
210
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,428
And we're both
off to laconia
211
00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:38,463
To take out big chicken.
212
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,932
And we've been given
an intern.
213
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,701
Oh.
214
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:46,171
- Me spend my spring break
with a rookie?
215
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,139
Yeah, right.
216
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:51,843
Listen, out of respect
to mr. Prell,
217
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,912
Your grandfather
and my boss,
218
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,748
I'm giving you a ride
to the train station...
219
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,283
And you're going with him.
220
00:11:58,285 --> 00:11:59,784
- Oh, but we could help.
221
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:01,453
- I don't need help.
222
00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:04,489
I work alone.
223
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:18,737
- Permission
to speak freely, sir?
224
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:22,107
Back in the day, all
grandpa prell ever talked about
225
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:25,276
Was the madcap adventures
of gary "mac" macarelli
226
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,112
And kenny "fry" kravello.
227
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:30,949
- Dumb names the press gave
my old partner kravello and me.
228
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,517
Gramps used to go on and on
about all the records
229
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,319
You guys set
for assembly times.
230
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:35,854
- Not to mention
all the groupies
231
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,388
And parties back then.
232
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,958
Ooh.
233
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,860
What's your point, rookie?
234
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,762
- I've waited my whole life
to learn the trophy business,
235
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,064
And now
that kravello's gone
236
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:50,401
And grandpa prell's more or less
lost it, I just wanna--
237
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:54,439
- Mr. Prell
is as razor sharp as ever.
238
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,941
- [snores]
239
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,977
- Don't you ever
disrespect him.
240
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,245
Got it?
241
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:01,246
- Sieg.
All: Heil.
242
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:02,881
- Skinheads.
243
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,249
- Sieg.
All: Heil.
244
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:07,185
- As if the good lord
hand-delivered them.
245
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:10,155
My doctor's bag, stat!
246
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:14,259
Gary, our father
in heaven beckons already.
247
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:17,061
We have skinheads upon us.
248
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:21,032
Racist evildoers
who must be eliminated.
249
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,034
- You go to it, blondie.
250
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:26,471
But just remember, according
to the calculator watch...
251
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,472
[watch beeps]
252
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,941
This sled leaves in five.
253
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,043
Got it?
254
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,211
- Fine.
255
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:35,180
Narrator:
Unbeknownst to gregory,
256
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:37,315
These skinheads
were far more dangerous
257
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,217
Than ordinary skinheads.
258
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:42,320
They were the skinheads
for better television.
259
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,556
- We need more
white people shows
260
00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:48,226
Like friends, full house,andthe hills.
261
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:50,361
All: The hills.
262
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,097
- Today,
we declare skin-had,
263
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:58,203
Beginning with this local
jewish internet film critic.
264
00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:03,241
- Internet film critic?
[gasps]
265
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:08,479
Everyone should be able
to see me.
266
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,515
Gentlemen, good day.
267
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,050
My name is gregory
268
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,918
And I'm currently
on a pilgrimage
269
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,421
Granting doomed souls,
such as yours,
270
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:20,525
Safe passage to heaven
via lethal poison,
271
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,561
Which I mix with a tasty,
refreshing boxed fruit drink
272
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:27,065
To calcify your nerves.
273
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:30,168
- Boys, I think what
we have here is an f.P.
274
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,936
- An f.P.?
275
00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,571
Well, I'm not familiar
with that term.
276
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,406
- "free play."
277
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,575
That's when you get to beat
the piss out of somebody
278
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,077
Without having to answer
for it.
279
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,411
- Ooh.
280
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:41,412
Oh...
281
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:42,614
- [grunts]
282
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:45,383
- Not the face!
Just not the face!
283
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,019
You can't buy
this bone structure.
284
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,387
- Did you know the rotary
285
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,957
Does a skinhead of the year
award now?
286
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:56,361
- Probably just give out
some cheap ribbon or something.
287
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:59,330
- Actually, the--the winner
gets a silver trophy
288
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,900
With a giant figurine hitler
on top.
289
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:05,069
Next year, they're expanding
to include superlatives.
290
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:09,040
You know, best-dressed skinhead,
most likely to succeed,
291
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,642
Biggest flirt.
292
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:13,011
- [pained groans]
293
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:16,014
[triumphant german music]
294
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:22,287
♪
295
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:25,023
- [grunts]
296
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,691
[growls]
297
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:29,961
[yells]
298
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:34,699
- [gurgles]
299
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:43,341
- [roars]
300
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:47,612
[panting]
301
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:51,049
No time to bury the bodies.
Got a train to catch.
302
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,451
[shouts]
303
00:15:57,122 --> 00:16:00,692
[radio trilling]
304
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:03,127
- Gary, your strength.
305
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:06,597
It was like...
Samson.
306
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:10,168
Narrator: Seeing gary
annihilate the skinheads
307
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,737
Brought a positive vibe
to the buddies.
308
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,473
It also made gregory
mistakenly believe
309
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,409
That the two were killing
for the same reason.
310
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,578
- Gary, it was no accident
that we met,
311
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,613
And it was no accident
that you stopped the car
312
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,349
Back there of all places.
313
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:27,552
And were it not for
my cleverly playing possum,
314
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,120
Well, then you would not
have been able
315
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:31,723
To take them by surprise.
316
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:33,524
Don't you see
what all this adds up to?
317
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,426
We should join forces.
318
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,261
- I work alone.
319
00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:39,497
- Have you not listened
to anything that I've said?
320
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:44,268
Don't you see it's god's will
for us to work together?
321
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:48,339
- Gonna miss your train.
322
00:16:56,615 --> 00:17:01,686
- So that's how you'd like
to play it, is it?
323
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:06,691
Gary...
324
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,760
I could, of course,
use my standing in the church
325
00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:11,329
To ban you from
receiving holy communion.
326
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,131
- Huh?
- That's right.
327
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:17,268
Banned, along with divorcees
and women who have opinions.
328
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,103
- Ooh.
329
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:24,242
- I could then appeal
to another form of "authoritay"
330
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,677
And tell them...
331
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:29,447
Everything.
332
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:32,583
And I think you know
exactly what I mean.
333
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:37,088
- You'd write an official letter
of complaint to mr. Trophy?
334
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:40,792
- Indeed, I would.
To a mr. Prell, was it?
335
00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:43,094
- You'd go that far?
336
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,797
- I could go that far,
but I won't.
337
00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:48,533
Consider that
as you cast me off,
338
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:52,537
Someone proven
to help you get big chicken.
339
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:55,506
- [annoying whimpering]
mentor.
340
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,341
I may have a lot to learn
about the trophy business,
341
00:17:57,343 --> 00:18:02,413
But I know I can help.
342
00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:13,091
- There's no need, graham.
343
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:17,662
He works alone.
344
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:23,568
- Wait!
345
00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:32,243
Get in.
346
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,712
We ain't got all day.
347
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,848
Narrator: It was settled.
348
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:38,783
The buddies
would join forces,
349
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,452
With gregory believing
they were killing for god
350
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,121
And gary thinking
they were killing
351
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,889
Potential trophy winners.
352
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:47,358
But it didn't matter...
Yet.
353
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,527
For now, they had
more pressing matters.
354
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:51,329
- [through speaker]
wardrobe change.
355
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,231
You guys are gonna love
my next outfit.
356
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,466
By the way, gary,
love the jumpsuit.
357
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,901
So fashion forward.
358
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,169
You know the thing
about modeling--
359
00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:00,371
[microphone clicks off]
360
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:36,240
- In the car now!
361
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:39,544
Around the other side.
362
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:42,914
That van's
full of achievers.
363
00:19:42,916 --> 00:19:44,615
We gotta take 'em out.
364
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,517
- But gary, they're
just fraternity students.
365
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,819
- Students with a lifetime
366
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:54,225
Full of achievements
and conquests ahead of 'em.
367
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,527
Fine,
I'll take 'em out myself.
368
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,496
- But mentor,
there are five of them
369
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,198
And only one of you.
370
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,301
- Rookie, it ain't
how hard you get hit.
371
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:07,905
It's how hard you can get hit
and keep moving forward.
372
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,440
Narrator:
A line from rocky balboa,
373
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,709
A favorite movie
amongst trophy makers.
374
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,311
- Six 20-year-olds.
375
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:16,380
40 years of competition.
376
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:19,884
2.3 awards per year.
377
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,419
Narrator: And that's
probably where comparisons
378
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:24,322
To gary
and rocky balboa end.
379
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:28,392
- [grunts]
380
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,299
- I must admit,
I don't fully understand
381
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:36,867
The way of the trophy maker
just yet,
382
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:40,371
But what he's attempting,
it's murder.
383
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,240
- If it makes you
feel any better,
384
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,575
I don't understand it
yet either.
385
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,844
I say let those jocks
go to that sorority
386
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,546
With their
lame date rape drug
387
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:50,514
So we can get back
on course.
388
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:53,651
- Sorority?
Date rape drug?
389
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:56,921
- Yeah, I heard 'em
talk about it on pee break.
390
00:20:56,923 --> 00:21:00,725
- [roars]
391
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:02,793
- I'm coming, gary.
392
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:04,629
- Mentor!
393
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,564
- I think he might be dead.
394
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:07,965
- Self defense, bro.
395
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,734
Right? Right?
396
00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:11,535
- Gentlemen, relax.
397
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:13,904
I have a medical background.
398
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:17,041
Graham, refreshing
boxed fruit drink, please.
399
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,443
30ccs of meyer lemon prune.
400
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,612
No, wait,
apple walnut berry.
401
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,347
Its clotting effects
are stronger.
402
00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:26,584
Mm-hmm.
Oh, wow.
403
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:29,687
Oh, it's been a while since
I've seen a case like this.
404
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,555
Gentlemen, I'm afraid
I'm going to need access
405
00:21:31,557 --> 00:21:33,557
To your team's medical kit.
406
00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:37,028
I need an ice pack and a roll
of stretchable gauze.
407
00:21:37,030 --> 00:21:40,831
Somebody, please?
408
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,834
Leave me.
409
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:49,540
Oh, why thank you.
[slurps]
410
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:54,478
And that should do it.
411
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,047
Take that, please.
412
00:21:56,049 --> 00:21:57,715
- Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
413
00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:58,783
Are we done here?
414
00:21:58,785 --> 00:22:00,651
Can we leave?
- Uh, yes.
415
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:04,322
Oh, wait.
416
00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:06,991
Dear lord,
please forgive these boys
417
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:09,960
For the sins
that they wish to commit.
418
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:14,065
Amen.
419
00:22:15,967 --> 00:22:17,068
Now we're done.
420
00:22:17,070 --> 00:22:19,470
Okay, graham, come on.
421
00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:23,374
[strained grunts]
422
00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:25,976
[plays kazoo]
423
00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:28,779
I studied at
the kazoo conservatory...
424
00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:30,848
[plays kazoo]
425
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:34,085
And attended
kazoo camp each summer,
426
00:22:34,087 --> 00:22:36,354
Until one of
the camp counselors
427
00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:38,856
Fondled my kazoo.
428
00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:42,960
Oh.
429
00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:46,731
- You--you think we should
use that ice pack for mentor?
430
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:47,732
- Oh, no, no.
431
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:49,033
He'll be fine.
432
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:51,602
- I don't know
if mentor wants us
433
00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:52,937
To mess around
with his equipment.
434
00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:54,472
- Oh, no, no.
435
00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:56,941
The, uh, stereo vibrations
and so forth
436
00:22:56,943 --> 00:22:59,910
Will help activate
the neurons in his brain.
437
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:02,747
- Wow, you some
kind of doctor too?
438
00:23:02,749 --> 00:23:05,116
- Well, my grandfather,
father, and brother are,
439
00:23:05,118 --> 00:23:08,386
And though I could dissect
a frog like nobody's business,
440
00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:10,755
It really wasn't for me.
441
00:23:10,757 --> 00:23:12,790
Wee bit of the black sheep,
I'm afraid.
442
00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:14,492
- I know the feeling.
443
00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:16,160
All my brothers
are amazing athletes.
444
00:23:16,162 --> 00:23:20,831
But mr. Trophy constructed
382 of their trophies.
445
00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:22,900
I was always more into
the trophies they won
446
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,402
Than the sports
they played.
447
00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:26,537
- Not that close,
I take it?
448
00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:31,609
Narrator: Not close at all.
449
00:23:34,045 --> 00:23:36,614
He may not
look like it now,
450
00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:39,116
But graham's step brother,
golden graham,
451
00:23:39,118 --> 00:23:42,019
Was a big-time
trophy winner.
452
00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:45,122
These days, he was much more
content talking about the past.
453
00:23:45,124 --> 00:23:48,893
- Hey, stavros, your kids
going away for spring break?
454
00:23:48,895 --> 00:23:51,629
You know, panama city,
cancun?
455
00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:55,199
Back in the day, me and my boys
used to rock fort lauderdale.
456
00:23:55,201 --> 00:23:58,669
- [speaks greek]
baby gorilla.
457
00:23:58,671 --> 00:24:01,539
- Fix the lawn mower,
you lousy greek.
458
00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:05,576
- Ah.
- Ah. Ah.
459
00:24:05,578 --> 00:24:09,079
- Hi, stavros.
460
00:24:09,081 --> 00:24:10,981
- Where are you going?
461
00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:12,817
- To start my new job.
462
00:24:12,819 --> 00:24:14,919
- You got a job,
being mentally disabled
463
00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:16,987
So the government sends pop
a check once a month.
464
00:24:16,989 --> 00:24:19,723
You know, being born stupid
pays very well.
465
00:24:19,725 --> 00:24:21,492
- [sighs]
466
00:24:21,494 --> 00:24:23,093
- Ah. Yeah.
Like a little broad. Ah.
467
00:24:23,095 --> 00:24:24,795
Get out of here.
468
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:26,797
You look great though.
469
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:27,965
Beautiful outfit.
It matches.
470
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:32,470
[chuckles]
jerkoff.
471
00:24:39,744 --> 00:24:42,480
Narrator: Graham had no choice
but to run away from home.
472
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:45,182
In many ways,
his last chance at happiness
473
00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:47,251
Was at mr. Trophy
with gary.
474
00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:48,819
- Finally, he wakes.
475
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:50,554
- Show him
the beanstalk chart.
476
00:24:50,556 --> 00:24:52,690
- Oh, yes.
477
00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:55,192
Just a fun way
to chart our progress.
478
00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:58,896
We color in a piece of the stalk
after every ten kills,
479
00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:00,898
Making sure to color
the entire stalk
480
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:03,200
Before we get
to big chicken.
481
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:11,175
- Huh?
482
00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:12,877
The jocks
from the fraternity.
483
00:25:12,879 --> 00:25:15,012
- Yes, you'll notice
they're quite dead.
484
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:17,515
I inserted a lethal mix
of alcohol and iodine
485
00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:19,950
Into the air vents.
486
00:25:24,589 --> 00:25:26,790
Gary, had you
specified to me
487
00:25:26,792 --> 00:25:28,726
What you meant by
"their conquests,"
488
00:25:28,728 --> 00:25:32,296
You never would have
been hurt.
489
00:25:32,298 --> 00:25:34,899
- [sniffs]
490
00:25:34,901 --> 00:25:37,668
Is that food I smell?
491
00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:40,170
- It certainly is.
492
00:25:40,172 --> 00:25:41,572
Narrator: The seeds
of friendship
493
00:25:41,574 --> 00:25:43,140
Had at last sprouted.
494
00:25:43,142 --> 00:25:45,142
- And, uh...
495
00:25:45,144 --> 00:25:48,546
One refreshing
boxed fruit drink, please.
496
00:25:48,548 --> 00:25:50,848
Narrator: Indeed,
spring break was about to go
497
00:25:50,850 --> 00:25:52,850
To a whole new level.
498
00:25:52,852 --> 00:25:55,052
- Rook, crank the tunes.
499
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:59,023
I need to get these,
uh, neurons activated.
500
00:25:59,025 --> 00:26:01,625
Doctor's orders.
501
00:26:01,627 --> 00:26:04,628
[black lips' bad kids plays]
502
00:26:04,630 --> 00:26:12,236
♪
503
00:26:12,238 --> 00:26:13,704
- ♪ bad kids
504
00:26:13,706 --> 00:26:15,839
♪ all my friends
are bad kids ♪
505
00:26:15,841 --> 00:26:18,008
♪ product of no dad kids
506
00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:20,678
♪ kids like you and me
507
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,780
♪ bad kids
508
00:26:22,782 --> 00:26:24,982
♪ ain't no college grad kids
509
00:26:24,984 --> 00:26:27,217
♪ livin' out
on the skids ♪
510
00:26:27,219 --> 00:26:30,754
♪ kids like you and me
511
00:26:30,756 --> 00:26:33,023
- ♪ in class
- ♪ we are a minority
512
00:26:33,025 --> 00:26:35,125
- Trophy making's
all about speed, rook.
513
00:26:35,127 --> 00:26:36,894
Don't get caught
napping on the job.
514
00:26:36,896 --> 00:26:40,331
- ♪ and steal
- ♪ from all your mothers
515
00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:42,333
- ♪ they'll try
- ♪ to give us pills
516
00:26:42,335 --> 00:26:45,002
- ♪ oh wait
- ♪ give us all the pills
517
00:26:45,004 --> 00:26:47,137
- ♪ go cry
- ♪ mom, I gotta go to court
518
00:26:47,139 --> 00:26:49,373
- ♪ dad won't
- ♪ pay his child support
519
00:26:49,375 --> 00:26:54,712
♪ well, you gotta
understand ♪
520
00:26:54,714 --> 00:26:58,916
♪ we only do these things
because all we are is ♪
521
00:26:58,918 --> 00:27:00,150
♪ bad kids
522
00:27:00,152 --> 00:27:02,386
♪ all my friends
are bad kids ♪
523
00:27:02,388 --> 00:27:04,922
♪ product of no dad kids
524
00:27:04,924 --> 00:27:08,192
♪ kids like you and me
525
00:27:08,194 --> 00:27:09,727
♪ bad kids
526
00:27:09,729 --> 00:27:11,862
♪ ain't no college grad kids
527
00:27:11,864 --> 00:27:14,164
♪ livin' out
on the skids ♪
528
00:27:14,166 --> 00:27:16,667
♪ kids like you and me
529
00:27:16,669 --> 00:27:19,403
♪ like you and me
530
00:27:19,405 --> 00:27:21,305
Narrator: While our buddies
were busy bonding,
531
00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:24,775
The area had seen a surge
in missing children,
532
00:27:24,777 --> 00:27:27,244
And nobody was paid
to care more
533
00:27:27,246 --> 00:27:30,381
Than tv's
kathie lee gifford.
534
00:27:30,383 --> 00:27:32,916
Today in the common room.
535
00:27:32,918 --> 00:27:34,251
All: Lambdas!
536
00:27:34,253 --> 00:27:36,720
- I'm here today
as a paid spokesperson
537
00:27:36,722 --> 00:27:40,324
For gotjared.Com
538
00:27:40,326 --> 00:27:43,193
Now, you all know that jared
was recently abducted,
539
00:27:43,195 --> 00:27:44,862
And I think it is our duty
540
00:27:44,864 --> 00:27:46,930
To do everything
we can to help him.
541
00:27:46,932 --> 00:27:50,367
Can anyone here tell me why?
542
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,203
- Because
with all great power
543
00:27:53,205 --> 00:27:55,406
Comes great responsibility.
544
00:27:55,408 --> 00:27:56,940
- No.
545
00:27:56,942 --> 00:28:01,378
Because it's
a terrific tool for...
546
00:28:01,380 --> 00:28:02,913
[singsong]
networking.
547
00:28:02,915 --> 00:28:04,314
Think about it,
you're out there,
548
00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:06,350
You're selling
your gotjared.Com t-shirts
549
00:28:06,352 --> 00:28:07,851
All over the place,
550
00:28:07,853 --> 00:28:09,420
And you are not only
raising awareness
551
00:28:09,422 --> 00:28:14,758
For poor jared,
but also, the best part:
552
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:18,796
3% of all the net sales
go to charity.
553
00:28:18,798 --> 00:28:19,930
[excited murmurs]
554
00:28:19,932 --> 00:28:22,299
3%!
555
00:28:22,301 --> 00:28:26,370
How's that
for responsibility?
556
00:28:32,077 --> 00:28:33,877
Narrator: You can't have
spring break
557
00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:35,979
Without sorority girls,
558
00:28:35,981 --> 00:28:37,448
And you can't become
a trophy maker
559
00:28:37,450 --> 00:28:40,017
Without learning
how to scoop babes.
560
00:28:40,019 --> 00:28:42,753
- Rook,
make sure I'm secure.
561
00:28:42,755 --> 00:28:45,122
Narrator: Gary was about
to teach the buddies how.
562
00:28:45,124 --> 00:28:48,058
Trophy maker style.
563
00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:50,260
- All right, come here.
564
00:28:50,262 --> 00:28:53,497
We're gonna do what's known
as "the animal house plan."
565
00:28:53,499 --> 00:28:55,966
- Oh, as in the movie?
- Oh, yeah.
566
00:28:55,968 --> 00:28:57,167
Me and kravello,
567
00:28:57,169 --> 00:28:59,737
We had that on lockdown
back in the day.
568
00:28:59,739 --> 00:29:02,239
It's even easier
in today's information age.
569
00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:04,341
Rook,
this the sorority house?
570
00:29:04,343 --> 00:29:07,077
- Lambda omega mu,
st. A's college.
571
00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:09,413
- Oh, I know the very scene
you're emulating.
572
00:29:09,415 --> 00:29:10,748
Brilliant.
573
00:29:10,750 --> 00:29:13,784
But gary.
574
00:29:13,786 --> 00:29:18,055
Why the belt?
575
00:29:18,057 --> 00:29:21,091
- 'cause chicks
dig champions.
576
00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:22,860
You got your corsages?
577
00:29:22,862 --> 00:29:24,495
- Check.
- Check-check.
578
00:29:24,497 --> 00:29:27,030
- Then let's scoop
some babes.
579
00:29:27,032 --> 00:29:30,000
Narrator: "scooping"
was trophy maker terminology
580
00:29:30,002 --> 00:29:31,135
For "hooking up."
581
00:29:31,137 --> 00:29:35,072
- Hello, ladies.
582
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:40,277
- Oh, my god.
583
00:29:40,279 --> 00:29:42,513
Miss kathie lee gifford.
584
00:29:42,515 --> 00:29:44,047
Big fan.
585
00:29:44,049 --> 00:29:45,115
Here it is.
586
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:46,250
Morning talk show.
587
00:29:46,252 --> 00:29:49,019
Couch, coffee table,
you, me.
588
00:29:49,021 --> 00:29:50,120
Mostly me.
589
00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:51,822
- No.
590
00:29:51,824 --> 00:29:54,391
- Uh, mrs. Frank gifford.
- Oy.
591
00:29:54,393 --> 00:29:57,027
- I've waited my whole life
to ask you this.
592
00:29:57,029 --> 00:30:00,230
The heisman trophy--
593
00:30:00,232 --> 00:30:04,501
Solid nickel chrome
or brass dip?
594
00:30:04,503 --> 00:30:07,304
Narrator: Like most women,
kathie lee was hot
595
00:30:07,306 --> 00:30:08,405
For trophy makers.
596
00:30:08,407 --> 00:30:10,140
- Trophy maker?
597
00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:11,542
- Uh-huh.
598
00:30:11,544 --> 00:30:12,543
- Oh.
599
00:30:12,545 --> 00:30:14,912
Oh, god.
600
00:30:14,914 --> 00:30:16,113
[breathless]
call me.
601
00:30:16,115 --> 00:30:18,182
Call me.
602
00:30:18,184 --> 00:30:20,851
- Oh!
603
00:30:20,853 --> 00:30:25,055
[laughs]
604
00:30:25,057 --> 00:30:27,558
- Can I help you?
605
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:28,992
- Uh, yes.
606
00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:31,562
We're here to see
fawn liebowitz.
607
00:30:31,564 --> 00:30:32,930
- Who?
608
00:30:32,932 --> 00:30:35,499
- [whispering]
lisa dooner.
609
00:30:35,501 --> 00:30:40,370
- Oh, I mean,
lisa dooner.
610
00:30:45,310 --> 00:30:48,045
- I think you'd better
have a seat in the living room.
611
00:30:48,047 --> 00:30:51,615
- Don't mind if we do.
612
00:30:53,518 --> 00:30:57,287
- Snacks!
613
00:31:16,374 --> 00:31:21,511
[clock ticks]
614
00:31:21,513 --> 00:31:23,113
Narrator:
Like all trophy makers,
615
00:31:23,115 --> 00:31:27,951
Gary had mastered
the art of seduction.
616
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,256
And graham,
he bought a shirt.
617
00:31:32,258 --> 00:31:34,191
- Thanks for the shirt.
618
00:31:34,193 --> 00:31:36,393
Best 70 bucks I ever spent.
619
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:40,898
- No prob.
620
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:44,568
I'm brittany.
621
00:31:44,570 --> 00:31:47,271
- I'm katelyn.
622
00:31:47,273 --> 00:31:50,007
You guys are here
to see lisa?
623
00:31:50,009 --> 00:31:53,243
- Lisa and I are engaged.
624
00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:58,515
Actually, we're engaged
to be engaged.
625
00:31:58,517 --> 00:32:00,017
Narrator: Gary and lisa
weren't engaged.
626
00:32:00,019 --> 00:32:01,618
They didn't even
know each other.
627
00:32:01,620 --> 00:32:04,388
See, it was all part
of the animal house plan.
628
00:32:04,390 --> 00:32:06,657
Find a dead sorority girl...
629
00:32:06,659 --> 00:32:08,292
[both sob]
630
00:32:08,294 --> 00:32:10,227
Meet up with
her grieving sisters...
631
00:32:10,229 --> 00:32:12,329
Tell them you
were her boyfriend...
632
00:32:12,331 --> 00:32:14,665
- Lisa and I are engaged.
633
00:32:14,667 --> 00:32:19,670
Narrator: So they'll feel
sorry enough to go out with you.
634
00:32:19,672 --> 00:32:23,407
- Guys, I know
you came to see lisa,
635
00:32:23,409 --> 00:32:26,543
But how about we all
go get some drinks and talk?
636
00:32:26,545 --> 00:32:28,578
- Brit, we're supposed
to see the guys
637
00:32:28,580 --> 00:32:31,415
From the red key tonight.
638
00:32:35,687 --> 00:32:39,323
[low]
uh, no.
639
00:32:43,695 --> 00:32:45,095
Fine.
640
00:32:45,097 --> 00:32:47,631
- It is on.
641
00:32:47,633 --> 00:32:49,066
- Oh, yeah.
642
00:32:49,068 --> 00:32:51,201
- ♪ one will live
in infamy ♪
643
00:32:51,203 --> 00:32:53,270
[bass guitar music]
644
00:32:53,272 --> 00:32:54,705
Narrator:
The local ron-a-roll,
645
00:32:54,707 --> 00:32:58,475
A.K.A. Scoop city.
646
00:32:58,477 --> 00:33:00,077
♪
647
00:33:00,079 --> 00:33:03,547
- You know,
this actually might be fun.
648
00:33:03,549 --> 00:33:05,015
- Here's little doggie.
649
00:33:05,017 --> 00:33:07,751
He's going to the...
Pound!
650
00:33:07,753 --> 00:33:09,486
[laughter]
651
00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:12,155
- Proper rolling attire.
652
00:33:12,157 --> 00:33:14,091
- This place is awesome.
653
00:33:14,093 --> 00:33:16,460
Narrator:
And an opportunity for gary
654
00:33:16,462 --> 00:33:19,529
To catch up
with old friends.
655
00:33:19,531 --> 00:33:22,733
- ♪ my attempts at sex
are pointless ♪
656
00:33:22,735 --> 00:33:25,736
♪ my body bruised,
been ridiculous ♪
657
00:33:25,738 --> 00:33:27,671
♪ I'm a cautionary tale
658
00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:30,640
♪ for the lazy
and the blind ♪
659
00:33:30,642 --> 00:33:33,677
♪ I'm your two delusions
660
00:33:33,679 --> 00:33:37,214
- But then she said,
"don't worry,
661
00:33:37,216 --> 00:33:39,416
These slacks
are stain resistant."
662
00:33:39,418 --> 00:33:44,421
[all laugh]
663
00:33:44,423 --> 00:33:47,524
- [forced laugh]
664
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:48,525
- Oh! Oh!
665
00:33:48,527 --> 00:33:50,127
- Look.
[pounds table]
666
00:33:50,129 --> 00:33:53,730
One of us has to tell you
already, okay?
667
00:33:53,732 --> 00:33:58,201
Lisa died last semester.
668
00:33:58,203 --> 00:34:00,504
Narrator: Up till now,
the animal house plan
669
00:34:00,506 --> 00:34:04,274
Was working to perfection.
670
00:34:04,276 --> 00:34:06,676
But there was one thing
they hadn't planned on.
671
00:34:06,678 --> 00:34:09,446
- But I brought
this picture for you, gary.
672
00:34:09,448 --> 00:34:13,617
Narrator: Even though
gary had never met lisa,
673
00:34:13,619 --> 00:34:16,520
All he had to do
was take one look at her.
674
00:34:16,522 --> 00:34:18,655
- You're dead?
675
00:34:18,657 --> 00:34:21,458
Narrator: Gary was now
madly in love with lisa.
676
00:34:21,460 --> 00:34:24,428
- Why?
677
00:34:24,430 --> 00:34:29,232
Why, god?
678
00:34:29,234 --> 00:34:32,169
Oh, no.
679
00:34:32,171 --> 00:34:35,172
She's a angel.
680
00:34:35,174 --> 00:34:37,641
[heavenly music]
681
00:34:37,643 --> 00:34:41,511
Narrator: The following images
are not real.
682
00:34:41,513 --> 00:34:46,550
- ♪ I wonder
where you will be ♪
683
00:34:46,552 --> 00:34:48,185
♪ where you'll be
684
00:34:48,187 --> 00:34:49,619
Narrator:
They're figments of gary's
685
00:34:49,621 --> 00:34:52,823
Instant and inexplicable
romance with lisa,
686
00:34:52,825 --> 00:34:56,593
And they exist
only in his delusions.
687
00:34:56,595 --> 00:35:02,265
- ♪ you'll always
be a part of me ♪
688
00:35:02,267 --> 00:35:04,167
♪ nothing lasts
689
00:35:04,169 --> 00:35:07,404
♪ that's how it is
690
00:35:07,406 --> 00:35:11,575
♪ so I'll slip away
between...♪
691
00:35:14,178 --> 00:35:17,180
- Gary, remember
the animal house plan.
692
00:35:17,182 --> 00:35:20,250
We looked online,
found lisa's obituary
693
00:35:20,252 --> 00:35:24,554
And pretended to know her
in order to scoop girls.
694
00:35:24,556 --> 00:35:27,357
You don't really know lisa.
695
00:35:27,359 --> 00:35:30,193
- Look, we have
other plans tonight,
696
00:35:30,195 --> 00:35:32,429
So is there anything else?
697
00:35:32,431 --> 00:35:36,199
Narrator: With that, gary
put his newfound feelings aside,
698
00:35:36,201 --> 00:35:39,169
For it was at last time
to seal the deal
699
00:35:39,171 --> 00:35:41,438
And scoop the girls.
700
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:45,408
- Well, if I were
in your shoes, I'd be--
701
00:35:45,410 --> 00:35:47,544
- Leaving.
What a good idea.
702
00:35:47,546 --> 00:35:49,746
Both: Whoo!
703
00:35:49,748 --> 00:35:51,381
[both laugh]
704
00:35:51,383 --> 00:35:53,216
Narrator:
Suffice it to say,
705
00:35:53,218 --> 00:35:55,886
The buddies' interpretation
of scooping and hooking up
706
00:35:55,888 --> 00:35:58,388
Was, like them, idiotic.
707
00:35:58,390 --> 00:36:01,391
[rock music]
708
00:36:01,393 --> 00:36:02,659
♪
709
00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:05,629
- I can't believe
we just scooped.
710
00:36:05,631 --> 00:36:10,300
This is gonna be
the best spring break ever.
711
00:36:10,302 --> 00:36:12,502
- ♪ and I
712
00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:15,539
♪ yeah I got a bunch
713
00:36:15,541 --> 00:36:17,741
♪ of homemade cookies
714
00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:22,546
♪ you wanna eat 'em
with me? ♪
715
00:36:22,548 --> 00:36:25,916
- Speed, kid, speed.
716
00:36:25,918 --> 00:36:27,551
- [whimpers]
- whoa.
717
00:36:27,553 --> 00:36:30,287
- ♪ yeah, we're friends
718
00:36:30,289 --> 00:36:31,688
♪ yeah,
you know we're pals ♪
719
00:36:31,690 --> 00:36:33,223
- ♪ we're totally pals
720
00:36:33,225 --> 00:36:35,659
- ♪ yeah,
we're best friends ♪
721
00:36:35,661 --> 00:36:38,895
♪ yeah,
we're totally pals ♪
722
00:36:38,897 --> 00:36:41,364
♪ well, the girls
come and go ♪
723
00:36:41,366 --> 00:36:42,899
♪ but my friends,
they stick around ♪
724
00:36:42,901 --> 00:36:44,568
- Glass, crystal, acrylic.
725
00:36:44,570 --> 00:36:47,404
- Oh, uncanny.
726
00:36:47,406 --> 00:36:50,340
- ♪ got a bunch
727
00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:52,943
♪ of heartache hurting
728
00:36:52,945 --> 00:36:54,778
♪ you wanna talk to me
729
00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:56,880
[all cheer]
730
00:36:56,882 --> 00:36:58,348
- Oh!
731
00:36:58,350 --> 00:36:59,349
Oh!
732
00:36:59,351 --> 00:37:00,350
Oh!
733
00:37:00,352 --> 00:37:02,652
- ♪ got a bunch
734
00:37:02,654 --> 00:37:03,920
- You're really bringing it!
735
00:37:03,922 --> 00:37:05,355
You're bringing it home!
736
00:37:05,357 --> 00:37:07,257
Rook!
737
00:37:07,259 --> 00:37:08,558
I got speed!
738
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:09,993
- [clears throat]
739
00:37:09,995 --> 00:37:14,631
♪
740
00:37:14,633 --> 00:37:16,333
- ♪ yeah, we're friends
741
00:37:16,335 --> 00:37:18,735
♪ yeah,
you know we're pals ♪
742
00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:20,270
- ♪ totally pals
743
00:37:20,272 --> 00:37:22,706
- ♪ yeah,
we're best friends ♪
744
00:37:22,708 --> 00:37:26,476
♪ yeah,
we're totally pals ♪
745
00:37:26,478 --> 00:37:27,877
♪ well, the girls
come and go ♪
746
00:37:27,879 --> 00:37:31,815
♪ but my friends
they stick around ♪
747
00:37:40,992 --> 00:37:42,892
Narrator:
The buddies were closing in,
748
00:37:42,894 --> 00:37:46,263
But over at the springle bell
toy run donation center,
749
00:37:46,265 --> 00:37:52,335
Big chicken was closing in
on a prize of his own.
750
00:37:55,873 --> 00:37:57,307
- This.
751
00:37:57,309 --> 00:37:59,576
This is what
it's all about.
752
00:37:59,578 --> 00:38:02,512
We win this trophy--
753
00:38:02,514 --> 00:38:04,781
- And then we can make
all the clown films we want.
754
00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:08,051
[chuckles]
narrator: You heard right.
755
00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:13,423
As in pornography
with clowns.
756
00:38:15,626 --> 00:38:17,627
And big chicken,
with his white devils,
757
00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:21,631
Were the biggest
producers of it.
758
00:38:21,633 --> 00:38:24,701
But clown shoots
had been illegal
759
00:38:24,703 --> 00:38:29,773
Since the bush administration.
760
00:38:29,775 --> 00:38:33,877
Collecting toys for needy kids
and winning the trophy
761
00:38:33,879 --> 00:38:36,379
Would keep police
off their backs
762
00:38:36,381 --> 00:38:39,649
And away from their
illegal clown activities.
763
00:38:39,651 --> 00:38:45,655
- All we need...
Is our little elves...
764
00:38:45,657 --> 00:38:48,425
To make us more toys.
765
00:38:48,427 --> 00:38:52,495
Mmm mmm mmm.
766
00:38:52,497 --> 00:38:54,998
Narrator:
On the other side of town,
767
00:38:55,000 --> 00:39:00,003
The boys settled in
after another productive day.
768
00:39:00,005 --> 00:39:01,738
Unfortunately,
769
00:39:01,740 --> 00:39:05,442
Eyes were still upon them.
770
00:39:06,977 --> 00:39:08,578
- And on the local front,
we're just days away
771
00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:10,980
From the annual
springle bell toy run.
772
00:39:10,982 --> 00:39:13,917
Rival bikers are pouring in
with the hopes of winning
773
00:39:13,919 --> 00:39:16,353
The prestigious
springle bell trophy.
774
00:39:16,355 --> 00:39:19,989
In other news, two other
children have gone missing.
775
00:39:19,991 --> 00:39:22,926
- I just--
I just wish lisa was here
776
00:39:22,928 --> 00:39:25,462
To see us get big chicken.
777
00:39:25,464 --> 00:39:27,030
- Oh, she sees it, gary.
778
00:39:27,032 --> 00:39:30,100
She sees it.
779
00:39:30,102 --> 00:39:31,968
I-I too wish I could share
what we were doing.
780
00:39:31,970 --> 00:39:34,938
My father and brother
live but 15 minutes from here.
781
00:39:34,940 --> 00:39:37,440
- They must be proud of you.
782
00:39:37,442 --> 00:39:38,742
- Oh, of course.
783
00:39:38,744 --> 00:39:41,378
All they do is brag.
784
00:39:44,615 --> 00:39:48,385
My father would be more
proud though, if I, uh,
785
00:39:48,387 --> 00:39:50,019
If I were practicing
medicine.
786
00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:52,922
- You could.
You're a medical genius.
787
00:39:52,924 --> 00:39:56,526
- [laughs]
788
00:39:56,528 --> 00:39:59,562
Graham really
looks up to you, you know.
789
00:39:59,564 --> 00:40:01,931
- Kravello.
790
00:40:01,933 --> 00:40:04,634
That was the guy
to intern under.
791
00:40:04,636 --> 00:40:06,703
- Your old mentor.
792
00:40:06,705 --> 00:40:07,937
What happened to him,
gary?
793
00:40:07,939 --> 00:40:10,974
If you don't mind me asking.
794
00:40:13,944 --> 00:40:17,180
Narrator: Michelangelo...
Da vinci...
795
00:40:17,182 --> 00:40:19,949
Kravello.
796
00:40:19,951 --> 00:40:22,786
Kenny kravello
was a master trophy maker
797
00:40:22,788 --> 00:40:25,455
Whose radical concepts
would permanently alter
798
00:40:25,457 --> 00:40:29,692
The landscape
of trophy construction.
799
00:40:29,694 --> 00:40:32,695
The greatest rookie in
the history of mr. Trophy,
800
00:40:32,697 --> 00:40:37,200
Kravello displayed trophy making
skills never before seen,
801
00:40:37,202 --> 00:40:40,003
Till years later,
when gary arrived.
802
00:40:40,005 --> 00:40:41,871
In no time,
the two became
803
00:40:41,873 --> 00:40:44,007
The finest rookie-mentor
partnership
804
00:40:44,009 --> 00:40:46,209
In the trophy business.
805
00:40:46,211 --> 00:40:48,178
It all appeared perfect
806
00:40:48,180 --> 00:40:51,214
Till the mr. Trophy
company christmas party.
807
00:40:51,216 --> 00:40:53,716
The morning began
like all the others.
808
00:40:53,718 --> 00:40:55,919
- Hey, chief.
809
00:40:55,921 --> 00:40:57,854
Maria.
810
00:40:57,856 --> 00:40:59,989
Narrator: Kravello,
mr. Prell, and gary,
811
00:40:59,991 --> 00:41:01,758
Known as "the big three,"
812
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:04,060
Were getting ready
for the night of their lives.
813
00:41:04,062 --> 00:41:06,196
- Whoo!
Good morning, ladies.
814
00:41:06,198 --> 00:41:07,897
[laughter]
815
00:41:07,899 --> 00:41:09,566
First, I'm gonna
start off like this.
816
00:41:09,568 --> 00:41:11,634
Hey, help me sing it, homeboy.
Come on.
817
00:41:11,636 --> 00:41:13,970
♪ said colt 45
and two zig zags ♪
818
00:41:13,972 --> 00:41:15,839
♪ baby, that's all we need
819
00:41:15,841 --> 00:41:17,941
Narrator: It was the height of
the participation generation--
820
00:41:17,943 --> 00:41:20,143
The era of everyone
gets a trophy
821
00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:21,978
Just for participating.
822
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:26,549
- ♪ we can take our turn
singing them dirty rap songs ♪
823
00:41:26,551 --> 00:41:28,251
♪ stop and hit the bong
like cheech and chong ♪
824
00:41:28,253 --> 00:41:31,020
♪ and sell tapes
from here to hong kong ♪
825
00:41:31,022 --> 00:41:33,223
♪ so roll, roll,
roll my joint ♪
826
00:41:33,225 --> 00:41:35,692
♪ pick out the seeds
and stems ♪
827
00:41:35,694 --> 00:41:36,860
♪ feeling high as hell
828
00:41:36,862 --> 00:41:38,261
♪ flyin' through palmdale
829
00:41:38,263 --> 00:41:39,929
♪ skatin' on dayton rims
830
00:41:39,931 --> 00:41:42,565
Narrator: It became
a high-stakes world of women...
831
00:41:42,567 --> 00:41:44,667
- [laughs]
narrator: Drugs...
832
00:41:44,669 --> 00:41:45,668
And trophies.
833
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:46,870
- Here's to trophies.
834
00:41:46,872 --> 00:41:48,805
Narrator: Until...
[record scratch]
835
00:41:48,807 --> 00:41:50,840
- Oh, you did it!
836
00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:54,744
You did it.
837
00:41:54,746 --> 00:41:59,015
- [wheezes and gasps]
838
00:41:59,017 --> 00:42:00,583
- Kravello!
839
00:42:00,585 --> 00:42:01,985
Mr. Prell!
840
00:42:01,987 --> 00:42:07,991
Kravello!
841
00:42:07,993 --> 00:42:09,292
Narrator:
And from that day on,
842
00:42:09,294 --> 00:42:12,262
Life at mr. Trophy
was never the same.
843
00:42:12,264 --> 00:42:15,665
- Well, maybe mr. Trophy
can get back on top
844
00:42:15,667 --> 00:42:17,934
Now that you have graham.
845
00:42:17,936 --> 00:42:19,836
- Why?
846
00:42:19,838 --> 00:42:23,573
So I can end up
like kravello?
847
00:42:23,575 --> 00:42:26,643
When we get back, that kid's
working in the front office.
848
00:42:26,645 --> 00:42:28,311
- But you've been training him
like you want a partner.
849
00:42:28,313 --> 00:42:29,979
- Look...
850
00:42:29,981 --> 00:42:34,551
He ain't making trophies
alongside me--period.
851
00:42:38,255 --> 00:42:41,157
Now let's just
get some shut-eye.
852
00:42:41,159 --> 00:42:45,862
Tomorrow's a big day.
853
00:43:02,313 --> 00:43:07,250
- Mentor wants to put you
in the front office.
854
00:43:07,252 --> 00:43:10,353
Well, graham, you're gonna
have to prove to him
855
00:43:10,355 --> 00:43:12,355
That you can be
a trophy maker.
856
00:43:12,357 --> 00:43:15,024
Two creams, no sugar?
857
00:43:15,026 --> 00:43:18,695
A refreshing
boxed fruit drink?
858
00:43:18,697 --> 00:43:22,332
Mentor, I've been thinking
of ways I can step up my game.
859
00:43:22,334 --> 00:43:24,200
- [slurps]
- for example,
860
00:43:24,202 --> 00:43:25,335
Have you considered
creating awards
861
00:43:25,337 --> 00:43:26,803
For people who give awards?
862
00:43:26,805 --> 00:43:28,905
It's a--
it's an untapped market.
863
00:43:28,907 --> 00:43:32,742
- [screams]
864
00:43:32,744 --> 00:43:36,012
[anguished grunts]
865
00:43:36,014 --> 00:43:38,047
Where's the pinto?
866
00:43:38,049 --> 00:43:39,349
- All of our money's
in there.
867
00:43:39,351 --> 00:43:44,687
- [screaming]
868
00:43:48,392 --> 00:43:50,360
- Hey, fellas,
what's the problem?
869
00:43:50,362 --> 00:43:51,394
- Uh, nothing.
No problem at all.
870
00:43:51,396 --> 00:43:55,832
- My card.
871
00:43:55,834 --> 00:43:57,934
- Vincent van go.
872
00:43:57,936 --> 00:43:59,869
- Uh, vinny.
Vinny van go.
873
00:43:59,871 --> 00:44:01,804
I drive the osco drug
samaritan van.
874
00:44:01,806 --> 00:44:04,307
We're a promotional/courtesy van
for road emergencies.
875
00:44:04,309 --> 00:44:05,742
"courtesy" as in free.
876
00:44:05,744 --> 00:44:07,710
- How clever.
877
00:44:07,712 --> 00:44:11,347
- [laughs]
878
00:44:11,349 --> 00:44:14,384
Look, I've been tracking you
and I know everything,
879
00:44:14,386 --> 00:44:17,186
Every little detail
down to every dead body.
880
00:44:17,188 --> 00:44:20,757
That's right.
881
00:44:20,759 --> 00:44:23,226
Now, if you know
what's good for you,
882
00:44:23,228 --> 00:44:25,094
You're gonna take a ride
with your new best buddy,
883
00:44:25,096 --> 00:44:27,397
Vinny van go.
884
00:44:27,399 --> 00:44:29,198
If you know
what's good for you.
885
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:33,269
So do you guys myspace?
886
00:44:33,271 --> 00:44:34,671
I have a myspace account,
887
00:44:34,673 --> 00:44:37,040
But I don't have
any friends.
888
00:44:41,879 --> 00:44:44,847
[women screaming]
889
00:44:44,849 --> 00:44:47,116
Oh, gregory?
890
00:44:47,118 --> 00:44:48,418
Can I have one of those
891
00:44:48,420 --> 00:44:52,321
Refreshing
boxed fruit drinks, please?
892
00:44:52,323 --> 00:44:56,926
I said give me a
refreshing boxed fruit drink!
893
00:44:58,328 --> 00:45:00,229
Thanks.
[chuckles]
894
00:45:00,231 --> 00:45:02,131
Ooh, oh, guys!
895
00:45:02,133 --> 00:45:03,466
We should pretend
to be the a-team.
896
00:45:03,468 --> 00:45:05,268
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
897
00:45:05,270 --> 00:45:06,903
I get to be hannibal.
Called it!
898
00:45:06,905 --> 00:45:09,472
No, no, wait.
I'm driving the van.
899
00:45:09,474 --> 00:45:11,174
Yeah,
I should be b.A. Baracus,
900
00:45:11,176 --> 00:45:12,709
Because I pity the fool!
901
00:45:12,711 --> 00:45:15,445
Oh, yeah,
I pity the fool!
902
00:45:15,447 --> 00:45:19,282
- We've been taken captive
by an energy vampire.
903
00:45:19,284 --> 00:45:21,284
- You geniuses
and your imaginations.
904
00:45:21,286 --> 00:45:23,786
Vampires are make-believe.
905
00:45:23,788 --> 00:45:25,054
- Vampires are
fictional characters
906
00:45:25,056 --> 00:45:27,290
Based on real life
"energy vampires."
907
00:45:27,292 --> 00:45:29,726
Instead of sucking blood,
they suck energy.
908
00:45:29,728 --> 00:45:33,996
- Welcome to the opening night
of my new musical.
909
00:45:33,998 --> 00:45:35,465
[giggles]
910
00:45:35,467 --> 00:45:37,200
Vinny.
911
00:45:37,202 --> 00:45:38,968
- The coffin-like interior,
912
00:45:38,970 --> 00:45:41,504
Our pulse rates falling
with every frivolous subject,
913
00:45:41,506 --> 00:45:44,040
The heavy smell
of drakkar noir--
914
00:45:44,042 --> 00:45:45,475
- [sniffs]
915
00:45:45,477 --> 00:45:48,344
- Okay, who can hold a note
the longest?
916
00:45:48,346 --> 00:45:49,812
Me first.
917
00:45:49,814 --> 00:45:55,518
Laaaaaa...
918
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,488
Ahhh!
919
00:45:58,490 --> 00:46:00,990
Ah, man!
920
00:46:00,992 --> 00:46:03,459
Narrator: Vinny hoped
buying the buddies a pizza
921
00:46:03,461 --> 00:46:05,461
Would solidify a friendship,
922
00:46:05,463 --> 00:46:07,830
Not that they
had any choice.
923
00:46:07,832 --> 00:46:09,832
- This missing kid jared
has his picture
924
00:46:09,834 --> 00:46:12,435
All over the place.
925
00:46:14,338 --> 00:46:16,105
[laughs]
926
00:46:16,107 --> 00:46:19,776
Guys, we should totally
draw a hitler mustache on him.
927
00:46:26,850 --> 00:46:28,084
- The bread--
928
00:46:28,086 --> 00:46:29,552
It's garlic bread.
929
00:46:29,554 --> 00:46:32,955
The garlic will repel his power
and restore our energy.
930
00:46:32,957 --> 00:46:34,457
Eat.
931
00:46:37,394 --> 00:46:40,997
- More cherry cola,
you filthy whore!
932
00:46:40,999 --> 00:46:42,865
Now, about me.
[laughs]
933
00:46:42,867 --> 00:46:46,369
Now, you can already tell
I'm a great listener.
934
00:46:46,371 --> 00:46:50,039
That's why my nonie bought me
the samaritan van.
935
00:46:50,041 --> 00:46:53,309
- Vinny.
936
00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:56,045
You're close with
your grandmother then?
937
00:46:56,047 --> 00:46:59,282
- Yeah, I live with her.
938
00:46:59,284 --> 00:47:01,450
- If you allow us
to part ways
939
00:47:01,452 --> 00:47:03,452
And agree to forget
all of this,
940
00:47:03,454 --> 00:47:06,522
No harm will come to her.
941
00:47:08,992 --> 00:47:11,460
- You guys would kill
my grandmother?
942
00:47:11,462 --> 00:47:12,929
- Yes.
- Yes.
943
00:47:12,931 --> 00:47:15,998
- We would, vinny.
- We would, vinny.
944
00:47:17,401 --> 00:47:18,901
- This is gonna be amazing!
945
00:47:18,903 --> 00:47:20,469
Oh, my god.
946
00:47:20,471 --> 00:47:24,473
When are we gonna kill her?
What do I wear?
947
00:47:24,475 --> 00:47:25,908
Oh, wait.
948
00:47:25,910 --> 00:47:28,277
I want you guys to know
that killing her
949
00:47:28,279 --> 00:47:31,347
Isn't gonna get in the way
of our getting big chicken.
950
00:47:31,349 --> 00:47:34,283
You'll just have to find
a way to pay for gas.
951
00:47:34,285 --> 00:47:38,020
- Didn't you say your family
lives near here?
952
00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:43,092
- No, no. I will not ask
my father for money.
953
00:47:57,307 --> 00:47:58,341
- [scoffs]
954
00:47:58,343 --> 00:48:00,576
Another accident?
955
00:48:00,578 --> 00:48:04,380
- Oh, no, my friend and I
have merely broken down.
956
00:48:05,616 --> 00:48:08,351
- Have a seat in the library.
957
00:48:08,353 --> 00:48:12,455
I'll tell your brother
you're here.
958
00:48:12,457 --> 00:48:15,458
- Gary.
959
00:48:20,664 --> 00:48:22,031
Ooh.
960
00:48:22,033 --> 00:48:23,633
Nice place.
961
00:48:23,635 --> 00:48:26,636
Is that crystal?
962
00:48:26,638 --> 00:48:28,170
- [whispers]
gary...
963
00:48:28,172 --> 00:48:31,240
- How many bathrooms
in a place this big?
964
00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:33,643
Whew.
965
00:48:33,645 --> 00:48:36,279
Granite, marble.
966
00:48:36,281 --> 00:48:39,115
- [sighs]
967
00:48:39,117 --> 00:48:41,284
- A lot of shelf space
in here.
968
00:48:41,286 --> 00:48:42,652
Whew.
969
00:48:42,654 --> 00:48:46,155
- This room brings back
many memories for me.
970
00:48:46,157 --> 00:48:50,192
My brother garth's
graduation in particular.
971
00:48:50,194 --> 00:48:53,195
[classical music]
972
00:48:53,197 --> 00:48:59,402
♪
973
00:48:59,404 --> 00:49:01,370
- Thank you.
974
00:49:01,372 --> 00:49:03,606
Thank you very much.
Thank you for coming.
975
00:49:03,608 --> 00:49:05,608
Really appreciate it.
976
00:49:05,610 --> 00:49:07,543
Thank you all for coming.
Thank you.
977
00:49:07,545 --> 00:49:11,681
Thank you all for coming.
Thank you, thank you.
978
00:49:11,683 --> 00:49:14,283
Thank you very much.
979
00:49:14,285 --> 00:49:19,055
- Congratulations,
doctor von gearhart.
980
00:49:19,057 --> 00:49:21,457
- Well, I couldn't have done it
without you, mom and dad,
981
00:49:21,459 --> 00:49:23,960
Or without
the love and devotion
982
00:49:23,962 --> 00:49:26,028
Of my beautiful fiancee.
983
00:49:26,030 --> 00:49:29,465
- The good lord has certainly
blessed our family.
984
00:49:29,467 --> 00:49:32,702
- Hi, daddy. Hi, mommy.
[vibrator buzzes]
985
00:49:32,704 --> 00:49:35,604
Ladies and gentlemen,
invited guests.
986
00:49:35,606 --> 00:49:39,275
Congratulations, garth.
Really.
987
00:49:39,277 --> 00:49:41,978
And winter.
988
00:49:41,980 --> 00:49:44,347
Instruction manual's
included.
989
00:49:44,349 --> 00:49:48,150
- He was never supposed
to be here.
990
00:49:48,152 --> 00:49:49,652
Once winter and I
are married,
991
00:49:49,654 --> 00:49:52,054
I'm cutting off all contact
with this family.
992
00:49:52,056 --> 00:49:54,223
I will not have my wife
or my children
993
00:49:54,225 --> 00:49:55,358
Exposed to this...
994
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:56,592
Stain.
995
00:49:56,594 --> 00:50:01,230
- Garth, please.
We'll fix this.
996
00:50:01,232 --> 00:50:02,732
- You should've fixed it
997
00:50:02,734 --> 00:50:05,568
When poor mother was pregnant
at 44 years old.
998
00:50:05,570 --> 00:50:06,635
- [gasps]
999
00:50:06,637 --> 00:50:08,404
- [sniffs]
- [coughs]
1000
00:50:08,406 --> 00:50:11,741
- Daddy, can I help by handing
out some hors d'oeuvres?
1001
00:50:11,743 --> 00:50:14,010
- Sit down!
1002
00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:22,551
- Honey, let's do a song
from the church play.
1003
00:50:22,553 --> 00:50:24,053
- Winter, not now.
1004
00:50:24,055 --> 00:50:25,254
- One verse.
Come on.
1005
00:50:25,256 --> 00:50:28,491
- Son,
you're a von gearhart.
1006
00:50:28,493 --> 00:50:31,394
You love being the center
of attention.
1007
00:50:34,398 --> 00:50:38,234
- Well, guilty.
1008
00:50:38,236 --> 00:50:40,269
[laughter]
1009
00:50:40,271 --> 00:50:41,704
- [laughs]
1010
00:50:45,108 --> 00:50:48,778
- ♪ jesus is my best friend
forever ♪
1011
00:50:48,780 --> 00:50:52,782
♪ everything we do,
I do together ♪
1012
00:50:52,784 --> 00:50:56,285
♪ you're not gonna find him
on myspace ♪
1013
00:50:56,287 --> 00:50:59,488
♪ every day but Sunday
he's at my place ♪
1014
00:50:59,490 --> 00:51:03,325
- ♪ what kind of jackass
wouldn't love jesus? ♪
1015
00:51:03,327 --> 00:51:06,762
♪ what kind of douche bag
wouldn't love the lord? ♪
1016
00:51:06,764 --> 00:51:10,800
Both: ♪ what kind of retard
wouldn't pray to heaven? ♪
1017
00:51:10,802 --> 00:51:13,235
♪ the kind of guy
that never should been born ♪
1018
00:51:13,237 --> 00:51:14,370
- Everybody!
1019
00:51:14,372 --> 00:51:15,538
All: ♪ what kind of jackass
1020
00:51:15,540 --> 00:51:17,807
♪ wouldn't love jesus?
1021
00:51:17,809 --> 00:51:20,843
♪ the kind of guy that
never should been born ♪
1022
00:51:20,845 --> 00:51:22,178
- Once again!
1023
00:51:22,180 --> 00:51:23,379
All: ♪ what kind of jackass
1024
00:51:23,381 --> 00:51:25,681
♪ wouldn't love jesus?
1025
00:51:25,683 --> 00:51:28,451
♪ the kind of guy
that never should been born ♪
1026
00:51:28,453 --> 00:51:31,520
[cheering]
1027
00:51:31,522 --> 00:51:34,457
- My fiance, the doctor!
1028
00:51:34,459 --> 00:51:36,392
- My son, the doctor.
1029
00:51:36,394 --> 00:51:39,328
[cheering]
1030
00:51:39,330 --> 00:51:41,197
- That was the night
I injected my brother's spine
1031
00:51:41,199 --> 00:51:42,731
With lighter fluid,
1032
00:51:42,733 --> 00:51:46,635
Leaving him with sensitivity
in only three fingers.
1033
00:51:52,676 --> 00:51:55,277
Garth!
How lovely to see you.
1034
00:51:55,279 --> 00:51:57,146
And winter.
1035
00:51:57,148 --> 00:51:59,248
- [robotic voice]
why are you here?
1036
00:51:59,250 --> 00:52:02,151
- I need money.
1037
00:52:02,153 --> 00:52:03,719
Daddy.
1038
00:52:03,721 --> 00:52:05,421
Let me make this.
1039
00:52:05,423 --> 00:52:07,723
I make it all the time
at the rectory.
1040
00:52:07,725 --> 00:52:11,127
Please?
1041
00:52:11,129 --> 00:52:13,362
- Garth, we need
to make this fast.
1042
00:52:13,364 --> 00:52:15,865
As president-elect
of the special olympics,
1043
00:52:15,867 --> 00:52:19,335
You need to meet
with your transition team.
1044
00:52:19,337 --> 00:52:21,704
- Your brother's
become quite the star.
1045
00:52:21,706 --> 00:52:26,208
Son of a gun makes twice what
I did when I was practicing.
1046
00:52:26,210 --> 00:52:29,311
- [robotic voice] and I
am better-looking than you.
1047
00:52:29,313 --> 00:52:35,217
[laughter]
1048
00:52:35,219 --> 00:52:38,287
- [laughs]
1049
00:52:44,494 --> 00:52:47,463
- How's the tea, daddy?
1050
00:52:47,465 --> 00:52:49,532
The tea?
1051
00:52:55,372 --> 00:52:57,940
- It's actually perfect.
1052
00:52:57,942 --> 00:53:01,210
Speaking of which,
I received a letter
1053
00:53:01,212 --> 00:53:03,179
From one of your priests.
1054
00:53:03,181 --> 00:53:04,780
You've become quite
the little homemaker
1055
00:53:04,782 --> 00:53:06,415
Around the rectories.
1056
00:53:06,417 --> 00:53:07,750
- Seriously,
1057
00:53:07,752 --> 00:53:09,285
How many harvard graduates
would give up
1058
00:53:09,287 --> 00:53:11,820
A career in medicine
to work with the church?
1059
00:53:11,822 --> 00:53:13,389
- [robotic voice]
ha, ha, ha.
1060
00:53:13,391 --> 00:53:14,557
Ha, ha, ha.
1061
00:53:14,559 --> 00:53:16,192
Ha, ha, ha.
1062
00:53:16,194 --> 00:53:17,526
- [laughs]
1063
00:53:17,528 --> 00:53:19,628
Oh, I think
you misunderstood me, gary.
1064
00:53:19,630 --> 00:53:22,565
It was my brother garth
that went to harvard.
1065
00:53:22,567 --> 00:53:24,300
- Huh?
1066
00:53:24,302 --> 00:53:25,534
- [robotic voice] gregory
attended community college
1067
00:53:25,536 --> 00:53:29,471
For one semester
before flunking out.
1068
00:53:31,841 --> 00:53:33,342
- So...
1069
00:53:33,344 --> 00:53:35,344
[lisps]
garwee.
1070
00:53:35,346 --> 00:53:37,446
What do you do for work?
1071
00:53:37,448 --> 00:53:39,782
- Well--
- gary is an engineer.
1072
00:53:39,784 --> 00:53:44,320
He works with colorful resins
and plastics.
1073
00:53:44,322 --> 00:53:46,855
Uh, he recently lost
his girlfriend, lisa.
1074
00:53:46,857 --> 00:53:49,925
I'm providing
spiritual counsel.
1075
00:53:49,927 --> 00:53:52,228
If anything good
has come out of the loss,
1076
00:53:52,230 --> 00:53:54,496
It's that the two of us
are actually now dating
1077
00:53:54,498 --> 00:53:56,899
Katelyn and brittany--
lisa's old roommates.
1078
00:53:56,901 --> 00:54:00,970
- Gregory,
you're dating?
1079
00:54:00,972 --> 00:54:02,972
- It's very exciting.
1080
00:54:02,974 --> 00:54:05,574
- A girl?
- Yeah!
1081
00:54:05,576 --> 00:54:09,845
- You've had intercourse
with her?
1082
00:54:09,847 --> 00:54:11,614
- Why, we were on our way
1083
00:54:11,616 --> 00:54:13,315
To have intercourse
with the two of them
1084
00:54:13,317 --> 00:54:16,719
When gary's car was stolen.
1085
00:54:16,721 --> 00:54:19,655
Daddy.
1086
00:54:21,825 --> 00:54:23,993
I know I've been
a constant source of grief
1087
00:54:23,995 --> 00:54:26,895
For this family, but...
1088
00:54:26,897 --> 00:54:28,497
[sighs]
1089
00:54:28,499 --> 00:54:31,834
I've grown.
1090
00:54:33,903 --> 00:54:36,639
- Son.
1091
00:54:40,310 --> 00:54:43,946
Mother and I had you
so late in life.
1092
00:54:43,948 --> 00:54:46,982
You were...
1093
00:54:46,984 --> 00:54:49,318
An accident.
1094
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:51,453
But with--
1095
00:54:51,455 --> 00:54:55,924
With your cleaning,
1096
00:54:55,926 --> 00:55:01,030
I-I guess
you've finally found
1097
00:55:01,032 --> 00:55:03,699
A way to fit in.
1098
00:55:07,804 --> 00:55:10,306
- Daddy, can I perform
a little number
1099
00:55:10,308 --> 00:55:13,942
I composed for you
and for garth?
1100
00:55:13,944 --> 00:55:16,378
We von gearharts love being
the center of attention.
1101
00:55:16,380 --> 00:55:17,680
Guilty.
1102
00:55:17,682 --> 00:55:18,981
It's just a little ditty
1103
00:55:18,983 --> 00:55:21,083
That I've been working on...
1104
00:55:21,085 --> 00:55:24,787
[under breath]
for the past 20 years.
1105
00:55:25,989 --> 00:55:29,325
♪ daddy, daddy
1106
00:55:29,327 --> 00:55:33,962
♪ how I love thee so
1107
00:55:35,498 --> 00:55:37,666
♪ daddy, daddy
1108
00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:40,502
♪ dancin' to and fro
[thud]
1109
00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:44,807
All part of the performance.
1110
00:55:44,809 --> 00:55:47,876
♪ dancin' to and fro
1111
00:55:47,878 --> 00:55:51,513
♪ will you think of me,
daddy ♪
1112
00:55:51,515 --> 00:55:56,852
♪ as I'm dancin' slow
1113
00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:58,387
Kazoo solo.
1114
00:55:58,389 --> 00:56:01,390
[plays kazoo]
1115
00:56:01,392 --> 00:56:06,762
♪
1116
00:56:06,764 --> 00:56:10,999
- Uh, son...
1117
00:56:11,001 --> 00:56:14,069
Let me get the money.
1118
00:56:19,409 --> 00:56:21,143
- I do more than cleaning,
garth.
1119
00:56:21,145 --> 00:56:23,879
I do the lord's work.
1120
00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:26,548
- [robotic voice]
you are a sociopath.
1121
00:56:26,550 --> 00:56:28,417
[tapping keys]
1122
00:56:28,419 --> 00:56:30,953
Your actions are dictated
by a psychotic need
1123
00:56:30,955 --> 00:56:33,922
For attention
and adulation.
1124
00:56:33,924 --> 00:56:37,693
You are incapable
of forming bonds with others.
1125
00:56:37,695 --> 00:56:39,895
I can only imagine what
you and one hour photo here
1126
00:56:39,897 --> 00:56:41,730
Are really up to.
1127
00:56:41,732 --> 00:56:43,732
- Gary is my friend.
1128
00:56:43,734 --> 00:56:46,168
- You have no friends,
only victims,
1129
00:56:46,170 --> 00:56:51,607
And accomplices who end up
as victims.
1130
00:56:52,909 --> 00:56:58,981
[chair whirring]
1131
00:57:04,487 --> 00:57:06,422
- Oh.
That's okay.
1132
00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:08,157
[chair whirring]
1133
00:57:08,159 --> 00:57:10,659
Oh. Ow!
1134
00:57:10,661 --> 00:57:11,927
Ow.
1135
00:57:11,929 --> 00:57:12,961
All right.
1136
00:57:12,963 --> 00:57:14,596
Aah!
1137
00:57:14,598 --> 00:57:15,764
No, you--I got it.
Let me just get your hands off.
1138
00:57:15,766 --> 00:57:18,967
Get--I got it.
Leave it alone.
1139
00:57:20,437 --> 00:57:21,904
[struggling]
shit.
1140
00:57:21,906 --> 00:57:24,106
God--
1141
00:57:27,043 --> 00:57:29,611
Oh. Okay, fine.
Do it yourself.
1142
00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:30,813
That was my foot!
1143
00:57:30,815 --> 00:57:32,881
[loud crash]
1144
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:39,621
- Mentor, I know you
may have alternative plans
1145
00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:41,824
For my internship, but if
I could just have a second--
1146
00:57:41,826 --> 00:57:42,825
- Not now, rook.
1147
00:57:42,827 --> 00:57:47,095
This is why I work alone.
1148
00:57:47,097 --> 00:57:50,065
- Well, that was
a pleasant visit.
1149
00:57:50,067 --> 00:57:51,733
Sorry for the delay.
1150
00:57:51,735 --> 00:57:55,204
I just had to slip into
something more comfortable.
1151
00:57:55,206 --> 00:57:57,206
- I just got word
on the two-way.
1152
00:57:57,208 --> 00:57:59,475
Big chicken and the white devils
are holing up
1153
00:57:59,477 --> 00:58:00,642
At santa's plantation.
1154
00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:02,110
- The old abandoned
theme park
1155
00:58:02,112 --> 00:58:03,779
Just outside laconia.
1156
00:58:03,781 --> 00:58:06,715
Why, we could take out
big chicken
1157
00:58:06,717 --> 00:58:10,018
Before he even gets
to the springle bell toy run.
1158
00:58:10,020 --> 00:58:14,122
Not bad, energy vampire.
1159
00:58:14,124 --> 00:58:16,091
- Energy what?
1160
00:58:16,093 --> 00:58:18,694
[scoffs]
and I thought I was weird.
1161
00:58:18,696 --> 00:58:21,830
- Just take us
to santa's plantation.
1162
00:58:26,135 --> 00:58:27,836
Well, today rings anew.
1163
00:58:27,838 --> 00:58:30,973
We get to rid the earth
of a motorcycle outlaw heathen
1164
00:58:30,975 --> 00:58:32,875
And fulfill our quota.
1165
00:58:32,877 --> 00:58:34,710
Hey, gar?
1166
00:58:34,712 --> 00:58:38,680
- Our quota?
From here on in, it's my quota.
1167
00:58:38,682 --> 00:58:42,284
- ♪ going down
to whisperville ♪
1168
00:58:42,286 --> 00:58:45,120
♪ where the living
love songs grow ♪
1169
00:58:45,122 --> 00:58:48,257
♪ they beat their wings
and whisper things ♪
1170
00:58:48,259 --> 00:58:49,758
♪ man was not meant
to know ♪
1171
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:51,059
- All right, guys.
1172
00:58:51,061 --> 00:58:52,794
Once we get
to santa's plantation
1173
00:58:52,796 --> 00:58:54,196
And take out big chicken,
we're gonna have to stay
1174
00:58:54,198 --> 00:58:55,864
And have the best time
of our lives, all right?
1175
00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:58,033
We're gonna do the snow globe
eating contest,
1176
00:58:58,035 --> 00:58:59,768
We're gonna
make candy canes,
1177
00:58:59,770 --> 00:59:01,169
And I want to reenact
the nativity scene, all right?
1178
00:59:01,171 --> 00:59:03,305
Because last year,
I messed up really bad.
1179
00:59:03,307 --> 00:59:04,873
Yeah, I pissed off
one of the wise men
1180
00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,708
And I ate the baby jesus,
okay?
1181
00:59:06,710 --> 00:59:09,711
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry!
1182
00:59:09,713 --> 00:59:10,879
Aah!
[tires screeching]
1183
00:59:10,881 --> 00:59:13,649
I almost ran over a kid.
1184
00:59:13,651 --> 00:59:15,083
Wouldn't be the first time,
right?
1185
00:59:15,085 --> 00:59:16,752
[laughs]
1186
00:59:16,754 --> 00:59:19,988
I gotta stop killing people.
1187
00:59:19,990 --> 00:59:21,189
[gasps]
1188
00:59:21,191 --> 00:59:22,691
Fresh cherries?
1189
00:59:22,693 --> 00:59:24,760
I'm pulling over.
1190
00:59:27,964 --> 00:59:30,132
Narrator: Even though
their date with big chicken
1191
00:59:30,134 --> 00:59:32,968
Was minutes away,
vinny couldn't help himself.
1192
00:59:32,970 --> 00:59:36,572
He'd never had
spring cherries.
1193
00:59:38,808 --> 00:59:41,310
[thunder rumbles]
1194
00:59:41,312 --> 00:59:44,079
- Gary, please talk to me.
1195
00:59:44,081 --> 00:59:45,747
We're friends.
1196
00:59:45,749 --> 00:59:47,282
- Oh, really?
1197
00:59:47,284 --> 00:59:49,351
Because the computer
on your brother's wheelchair
1198
00:59:49,353 --> 00:59:51,186
Said we're accomplices.
1199
00:59:51,188 --> 00:59:53,355
And computers don't lie.
- Oh, no, no.
1200
00:59:53,357 --> 00:59:54,990
All of that was based
on psychological exams
1201
00:59:54,992 --> 00:59:56,992
That were done years ago.
1202
00:59:56,994 --> 00:59:59,294
A year ago.
1203
00:59:59,296 --> 01:00:03,031
Oh, gary.
I think that may be jared.
1204
01:00:03,033 --> 01:00:05,167
The boy that katelyn
and brittany were seeking.
1205
01:00:05,169 --> 01:00:06,201
See?
1206
01:00:06,203 --> 01:00:07,769
- Oh, no.
1207
01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:09,738
Jared has
a hitler mustache.
1208
01:00:09,740 --> 01:00:12,074
- No, no, no.
Vinny added that.
1209
01:00:12,076 --> 01:00:15,177
I think it's him.
1210
01:00:16,813 --> 01:00:18,146
Excuse me, sir.
1211
01:00:18,148 --> 01:00:19,781
Do you have
any information regarding
1212
01:00:19,783 --> 01:00:21,383
The owner
of that there truck?
1213
01:00:21,385 --> 01:00:25,387
And who's the boy with him
in the front?
1214
01:00:25,389 --> 01:00:26,989
- Look, I don't know
who you are,
1215
01:00:26,991 --> 01:00:30,859
But paul-of-the-shed
ain't the friendly type.
1216
01:00:30,861 --> 01:00:33,028
Sure does love
his cherries though.
1217
01:00:33,030 --> 01:00:35,364
- Is that so?
1218
01:00:35,366 --> 01:00:37,866
Thank you, neighbor.
1219
01:00:41,170 --> 01:00:43,905
We have to take him out.
1220
01:00:43,907 --> 01:00:46,041
- Wow, you see
the size of that guy?
1221
01:00:46,043 --> 01:00:48,877
- He is unusually large.
1222
01:00:48,879 --> 01:00:52,180
But gary, you have
what's referred to
1223
01:00:52,182 --> 01:00:56,818
In medical terms
as "super retard strength."
1224
01:00:56,820 --> 01:00:58,120
- It's true.
1225
01:00:58,122 --> 01:01:00,055
I get an abnormal surge
of adrenaline
1226
01:01:00,057 --> 01:01:01,423
Whenever I get emotional.
1227
01:01:01,425 --> 01:01:05,394
- Well, then.
Cover me.
1228
01:01:07,296 --> 01:01:09,831
Mr. Of-the-shed,
1229
01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:11,299
You're headed to hell,
sir,
1230
01:01:11,301 --> 01:01:12,901
But I can help you
get to heaven.
1231
01:01:12,903 --> 01:01:15,037
Nope, I'm afraid
I can't let you go,
1232
01:01:15,039 --> 01:01:16,104
Friend!
1233
01:01:16,106 --> 01:01:17,406
[groans]
1234
01:01:17,408 --> 01:01:19,975
- Hey, kids.
Let's sing a song.
1235
01:01:19,977 --> 01:01:24,312
♪ twinkle, twinkle
little star ♪
1236
01:01:24,314 --> 01:01:26,014
Narrator: Whether it was
the missing jared or not,
1237
01:01:26,016 --> 01:01:28,250
Paul-of-the-shed fled.
1238
01:01:28,252 --> 01:01:31,853
- Okay, gary,
you got your revenge on me.
1239
01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:35,157
But now we need
to go after that demon!
1240
01:01:35,159 --> 01:01:38,293
- Why?
1241
01:01:38,295 --> 01:01:41,463
- Gary, the man
may have abducted a child.
1242
01:01:41,465 --> 01:01:44,366
- I wouldn't kill someone
'cause of that.
1243
01:01:44,368 --> 01:01:47,269
- Then what have we
been doing?
1244
01:01:47,271 --> 01:01:50,172
The spring break of our lives,
answering a calling
1245
01:01:50,174 --> 01:01:51,840
To profile evil people
and kill them
1246
01:01:51,842 --> 01:01:53,475
So they get safe passage
to heaven.
1247
01:01:53,477 --> 01:01:55,343
Come on.
1248
01:01:55,345 --> 01:01:57,412
- Our calling
is to profile and kill
1249
01:01:57,414 --> 01:02:00,182
Potential trophy winners.
1250
01:02:01,417 --> 01:02:04,286
- [laughs]
let me get this straight.
1251
01:02:04,288 --> 01:02:06,054
You're saying you want
to kill people
1252
01:02:06,056 --> 01:02:07,456
Based on the fact
that they might precipitate
1253
01:02:07,458 --> 01:02:10,826
Increased trophy sales?
1254
01:02:10,828 --> 01:02:12,461
Then why on earth
are you pursuing
1255
01:02:12,463 --> 01:02:14,896
A murderous cretin
like big chicken?
1256
01:02:14,898 --> 01:02:17,466
- 'cause if big chicken wins
the springle bell toy run,
1257
01:02:17,468 --> 01:02:21,369
Outlaw bikers everywhere
will be pursuing trophies.
1258
01:02:21,371 --> 01:02:23,405
Narrator: And what's
when gregory realized
1259
01:02:23,407 --> 01:02:26,775
That he and the buddies
hadn't been killing for god.
1260
01:02:26,777 --> 01:02:29,144
- Oh, dear me.
1261
01:02:29,146 --> 01:02:31,913
Narrator: They'd been killing
to curb trophy sales.
1262
01:02:31,915 --> 01:02:34,750
- All this time,
1263
01:02:34,752 --> 01:02:37,452
All those innocent...
1264
01:02:37,454 --> 01:02:40,155
The world
of the trophy maker, huh?
1265
01:02:40,157 --> 01:02:42,491
The power of the trophy.
1266
01:02:42,493 --> 01:02:47,395
You screw together
pieces of fucking plastic!
1267
01:02:47,397 --> 01:02:49,798
- Lisa didn't think so.
1268
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:53,502
- Oh, you never even met lisa,
you delusional twit!
1269
01:02:53,504 --> 01:02:57,839
- What about you,
mr. Community college?
1270
01:02:57,841 --> 01:03:03,245
You're one of them psycho,
born-again, holy rollers...
1271
01:03:03,247 --> 01:03:07,783
Whose family hates him.
1272
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:13,989
- I know about your plan
to put me away
1273
01:03:13,991 --> 01:03:15,290
In the front office.
1274
01:03:15,292 --> 01:03:17,325
- Well, since we're all
being so open...
1275
01:03:17,327 --> 01:03:19,427
[spits]
1276
01:03:19,429 --> 01:03:22,964
I stole your car
1277
01:03:22,966 --> 01:03:26,401
So you'd all be forced
to be my friends.
1278
01:03:26,403 --> 01:03:29,404
- Well, that was stupid.
1279
01:03:31,007 --> 01:03:37,012
I for one, am incapable
of being friends...
1280
01:03:37,014 --> 01:03:39,481
With anyone.
1281
01:03:39,483 --> 01:03:43,552
Especially not
with some lowly,
1282
01:03:43,554 --> 01:03:47,823
Small-minded,
warehouse grunt,
1283
01:03:47,825 --> 01:03:50,892
Trophy maker.
1284
01:04:08,144 --> 01:04:10,979
- [shouts]
oh, yeah?
1285
01:04:10,981 --> 01:04:15,450
Well, I hate refreshing
boxed fruit drinks!
1286
01:04:15,452 --> 01:04:19,187
They're gross!
1287
01:04:19,189 --> 01:04:23,191
[acoustic guitar music]
1288
01:04:23,193 --> 01:04:27,329
- ♪ daddy, daddy,
how I love thee so ♪
1289
01:04:27,331 --> 01:04:30,432
♪ daddy, daddy,
dancin' to and fro ♪
1290
01:04:30,434 --> 01:04:32,567
♪ will you think of me,
daddy ♪
1291
01:04:32,569 --> 01:04:37,472
♪ when I'm dancin' slow
1292
01:04:37,474 --> 01:04:39,007
♪
1293
01:04:39,009 --> 01:04:40,642
♪ mommy, mommy
1294
01:04:40,644 --> 01:04:42,644
♪ how I love thee so
1295
01:04:42,646 --> 01:04:46,314
♪ mommy, mommy,
dancin' to and fro ♪
1296
01:04:46,316 --> 01:04:49,150
♪ will you think of me,
mommy ♪
1297
01:04:49,152 --> 01:04:54,022
♪ when I'm dancing slow
1298
01:04:54,024 --> 01:04:57,926
♪ can I count
all the tears ♪
1299
01:04:57,928 --> 01:05:01,263
♪ we collected
all these years? ♪
1300
01:05:01,265 --> 01:05:04,499
♪ can I count 'em?
1301
01:05:04,501 --> 01:05:06,234
- Look at you,
making trophies.
1302
01:05:06,236 --> 01:05:07,469
You know what trophy
you could win?
1303
01:05:07,471 --> 01:05:09,337
"gayest jumpsuit."
1304
01:05:09,339 --> 01:05:11,306
[laughs]
that's one I never won, pal.
1305
01:05:11,308 --> 01:05:12,908
You look good though.
1306
01:05:12,910 --> 01:05:17,312
- ♪ daddy, daddy,
how I love thee so ♪
1307
01:05:17,314 --> 01:05:21,182
♪ daddy, daddy,
why'd you make me go? ♪
1308
01:05:21,184 --> 01:05:23,518
♪ do you miss me, daddy?
1309
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:28,089
♪ 'cause I miss you so
1310
01:05:28,091 --> 01:05:30,992
♪ mommy, mommy
1311
01:05:30,994 --> 01:05:32,627
♪ how I love thee so
1312
01:05:32,629 --> 01:05:36,264
♪ mommy, mommy,
why'd you have to go? ♪
1313
01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:38,566
♪ do you miss me, mommy?
1314
01:05:38,568 --> 01:05:41,670
♪ 'cause I miss you so
1315
01:05:41,672 --> 01:05:49,945
♪
1316
01:05:51,981 --> 01:05:54,983
- [sobbing]
1317
01:05:54,985 --> 01:06:03,058
♪
1318
01:06:11,233 --> 01:06:14,703
- I'm crazy!
Come back, jackoff!
1319
01:06:14,705 --> 01:06:18,006
Where the hell's my belt?
I told you I needed a belt.
1320
01:06:19,575 --> 01:06:22,577
[kazoo music]
1321
01:06:22,579 --> 01:06:29,184
♪
1322
01:06:29,186 --> 01:06:31,186
- Hey, chief.
1323
01:06:31,188 --> 01:06:33,488
Maria.
1324
01:06:47,403 --> 01:06:50,005
Rookie.
1325
01:06:52,241 --> 01:06:55,577
Narrator: It was cocktail hour
at the von gearharts.
1326
01:06:55,579 --> 01:06:58,580
[lively music]
1327
01:06:58,582 --> 01:07:00,482
♪
1328
01:07:00,484 --> 01:07:02,317
[laughter]
1329
01:07:02,319 --> 01:07:04,652
- Hey!
1330
01:07:04,654 --> 01:07:10,425
- Just another moment in time
when gregory didn't belong.
1331
01:07:13,062 --> 01:07:14,362
- Yes!
1332
01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:17,232
- [laughs]
1333
01:07:17,234 --> 01:07:19,734
[glass shatters]
1334
01:07:19,736 --> 01:07:23,738
- [laughs hysterically]
1335
01:07:28,711 --> 01:07:30,045
[glass shatters]
1336
01:07:42,291 --> 01:07:45,293
[guitar music]
1337
01:07:45,295 --> 01:07:52,267
♪
1338
01:07:52,269 --> 01:07:55,403
- ♪ daddy, daddy,
now I have to go ♪
1339
01:07:55,405 --> 01:07:57,305
♪ daddy, daddy
1340
01:07:57,307 --> 01:07:59,374
♪ leave you and my bro
1341
01:07:59,376 --> 01:08:02,143
♪ now you'll think of me,
daddy ♪
1342
01:08:02,145 --> 01:08:07,148
♪ when you're dancin' slow
1343
01:08:07,150 --> 01:08:11,086
♪ mommy, mommy,
I gotta let you go ♪
1344
01:08:11,088 --> 01:08:15,123
♪ mommy, mommy,
it's time for me to grow ♪
1345
01:08:15,125 --> 01:08:17,425
♪ please think of me,
mommy ♪
1346
01:08:17,427 --> 01:08:21,663
♪ when you're dancin' slow
1347
01:08:27,136 --> 01:08:28,470
Hello, chief.
1348
01:08:28,472 --> 01:08:29,604
- [snores]
1349
01:08:29,606 --> 01:08:32,407
- Maria.
1350
01:08:32,409 --> 01:08:33,475
Chief, I need to see gary.
1351
01:08:33,477 --> 01:08:34,776
- He's not here.
1352
01:08:34,778 --> 01:08:40,548
You can leave a note
on his desk.
1353
01:08:40,550 --> 01:08:43,885
- "mentor."
1354
01:08:43,887 --> 01:08:46,888
"mentor,
I'm taking out big chicken,
1355
01:08:46,890 --> 01:08:48,456
"not to curb
the trophy population,
1356
01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:50,158
"but to prove to you
my value.
1357
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:52,127
Wookie."
1358
01:08:54,163 --> 01:08:56,865
Narrator: The old abandoned
santa's plantation--
1359
01:08:56,867 --> 01:09:00,902
Top secret hideout
to the dreaded white devils.
1360
01:09:02,638 --> 01:09:05,640
[radio playing
triumphant music]
1361
01:09:05,642 --> 01:09:08,743
♪
1362
01:09:08,745 --> 01:09:10,311
- Gary tagler here,
1363
01:09:10,313 --> 01:09:11,613
Once again,
if you're just tuning in,
1364
01:09:11,615 --> 01:09:13,648
Two more children
have been abducted,
1365
01:09:13,650 --> 01:09:15,350
Bringing the number
of missing children
1366
01:09:15,352 --> 01:09:17,352
In the area
to the hundreds.
1367
01:09:17,354 --> 01:09:19,220
Police are asking for your help.
If you have any--
1368
01:09:19,222 --> 01:09:21,890
[radio turns off]
1369
01:09:21,892 --> 01:09:26,194
Narrator: Oh, the white devils
were thirsty all right,
1370
01:09:26,196 --> 01:09:28,296
But for a lot more
than beer.
1371
01:09:28,298 --> 01:09:30,798
- [blowing note]
1372
01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:32,534
Narrator: Alas,
graham had found himself
1373
01:09:32,536 --> 01:09:35,837
Caught in none other
than big chicken's talons.
1374
01:09:35,839 --> 01:09:41,476
Outside, gary tried to summon
his super retard strength,
1375
01:09:41,478 --> 01:09:43,878
And for some reason...
1376
01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:44,879
He couldn't.
1377
01:09:44,881 --> 01:09:47,182
- [grunts]
1378
01:09:58,594 --> 01:10:01,529
[phone beeps]
1379
01:10:01,531 --> 01:10:04,232
Yeah, it's gary.
1380
01:10:04,234 --> 01:10:07,502
I need reinforcements.
1381
01:10:07,504 --> 01:10:09,337
Yeah.
1382
01:10:09,339 --> 01:10:11,206
[phone beeps]
1383
01:10:13,409 --> 01:10:16,377
- Gary, wait!
1384
01:10:18,547 --> 01:10:20,682
I'm sorry I lied.
1385
01:10:20,684 --> 01:10:24,719
And I know what my brother
said was right.
1386
01:10:24,721 --> 01:10:27,522
My motivations
have been solely based
1387
01:10:27,524 --> 01:10:29,424
On my need
for adulation.
1388
01:10:29,426 --> 01:10:32,760
But I'm sorry for what
I said about your career,
1389
01:10:34,396 --> 01:10:36,864
And especially sorry
for what I said about lisa.
1390
01:10:36,866 --> 01:10:39,300
Your relationship with her,
1391
01:10:39,302 --> 01:10:43,304
Whether in your mind
or reality,
1392
01:10:43,306 --> 01:10:47,508
Is yours to be respected.
1393
01:10:47,510 --> 01:10:50,578
- And I'm sorry I said
I hate boxed fruit drinks.
1394
01:10:50,580 --> 01:10:52,914
I mean, I did not
like them at first,
1395
01:10:52,916 --> 01:10:56,384
But now I find them
refreshing.
1396
01:10:56,386 --> 01:10:58,987
And hey, if you're here,
1397
01:10:58,989 --> 01:11:02,457
Maybe what your brother
said was wrong.
1398
01:11:02,459 --> 01:11:07,462
I mean, some guys
in wheelchairs are stupid.
1399
01:11:08,897 --> 01:11:11,466
- It isn't the trophy
that makes the man.
1400
01:11:11,468 --> 01:11:15,336
It isn't even the man
who makes the trophy.
1401
01:11:15,338 --> 01:11:19,474
It's the man who madethe trophy.
1402
01:11:20,976 --> 01:11:24,045
- A man doesn't put
his trophy intern in danger.
1403
01:11:24,047 --> 01:11:27,548
- No.
1404
01:11:27,550 --> 01:11:30,785
He saves him.
1405
01:11:30,787 --> 01:11:32,920
So you get in there
1406
01:11:32,922 --> 01:11:37,558
And you go and get
those trophy-monger bastards.
1407
01:11:37,560 --> 01:11:39,394
- That's just it.
1408
01:11:39,396 --> 01:11:41,996
My super retard strength
is gone.
1409
01:11:41,998 --> 01:11:43,798
- Oh.
1410
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:48,403
I can't seem to bring myself
to poison them either.
1411
01:11:48,405 --> 01:11:50,905
My goodness, gary.
1412
01:11:50,907 --> 01:11:56,311
Have we become human?
1413
01:12:00,549 --> 01:12:03,651
- It couldn't have come
at a worse time.
1414
01:12:03,653 --> 01:12:05,086
- Fellas!
1415
01:12:05,088 --> 01:12:06,554
They're gonna kill graham!
1416
01:12:06,556 --> 01:12:08,556
- We know.
- Yeah.
1417
01:12:08,558 --> 01:12:10,391
- Wait.
How do you know?
1418
01:12:10,393 --> 01:12:12,727
- [pants]
1419
01:12:12,729 --> 01:12:15,363
You know big chicken's
reputation.
1420
01:12:15,365 --> 01:12:17,665
Graham had me drive him here,
and I did.
1421
01:12:17,667 --> 01:12:19,367
I dropped him off
and I left.
1422
01:12:19,369 --> 01:12:22,970
Then I realized
we're serial buddies,
1423
01:12:22,972 --> 01:12:24,839
And we need
to stick together.
1424
01:12:24,841 --> 01:12:27,475
And I have a plan
to fix everything
1425
01:12:27,477 --> 01:12:30,511
If you'll just trust me.
1426
01:12:30,513 --> 01:12:33,681
Narrator: Vinny's plan was
to infiltrate the white devils
1427
01:12:33,683 --> 01:12:35,717
By posing as fellow bikers.
1428
01:12:35,719 --> 01:12:38,820
Unfortunately, vinny didn't
have any biker clothes,
1429
01:12:38,822 --> 01:12:42,790
But he did have
a van full of s&m gear.
1430
01:12:42,792 --> 01:12:45,426
- I don't even know
how this stuff even got here.
1431
01:12:45,428 --> 01:12:46,861
- All right,
enough daydreaming, you guys.
1432
01:12:46,863 --> 01:12:49,497
We gotta save rook.
1433
01:12:49,499 --> 01:12:52,100
Give me this.
1434
01:12:52,102 --> 01:12:55,069
[heavy metal music]
1435
01:12:55,071 --> 01:12:56,871
- Oh, yes.
1436
01:12:56,873 --> 01:13:04,946
♪
1437
01:13:36,044 --> 01:13:39,781
[glass shatters]
both: Shh!
1438
01:14:10,779 --> 01:14:14,081
- I'm gonna ask you
for the last time.
1439
01:14:14,083 --> 01:14:17,452
What are you doing here?
1440
01:14:17,454 --> 01:14:19,754
- Oh!
1441
01:14:19,756 --> 01:14:21,489
Who are these clowns?
1442
01:14:21,491 --> 01:14:24,725
[horn honking]
1443
01:14:24,727 --> 01:14:27,995
Narrator: Unfortunately,
big chicken didn't appreciate
1444
01:14:27,997 --> 01:14:30,131
His clown shoot
being interrupted.
1445
01:14:30,133 --> 01:14:34,502
- So this--
this must be your friends, huh?
1446
01:14:34,504 --> 01:14:38,005
- Actually, we're brothers
in a rival motorcycle gang.
1447
01:14:38,007 --> 01:14:39,841
Tell them, gary.
1448
01:14:39,843 --> 01:14:42,877
- My intern was merely trying
to make a name for himself.
1449
01:14:42,879 --> 01:14:45,513
- And so we're hoping
that you'll forgive
1450
01:14:45,515 --> 01:14:46,914
The way jesus forgave
1451
01:14:46,916 --> 01:14:49,083
The outlaw donkey gangs
of his time.
1452
01:14:49,085 --> 01:14:51,619
- Whoever you are,
1453
01:14:51,621 --> 01:14:54,789
I don't want
any problems, okay?
1454
01:14:54,791 --> 01:14:56,691
So take your "intern"
1455
01:14:56,693 --> 01:14:59,527
And just be grateful
1456
01:14:59,529 --> 01:15:01,929
You didn't catch up with me
20 years ago.
1457
01:15:01,931 --> 01:15:05,233
- Thank you.
1458
01:15:05,235 --> 01:15:07,702
- Oh.
1459
01:15:07,704 --> 01:15:11,939
Paul-of-the-shed.
Director on the set.
1460
01:15:11,941 --> 01:15:13,608
- What's this?
1461
01:15:13,610 --> 01:15:15,243
- Oh, these are some fruits.
They were just leaving.
1462
01:15:15,245 --> 01:15:17,912
- Bullshit!
These were the assholes
1463
01:15:17,914 --> 01:15:21,749
From the cherry stand.
1464
01:15:21,751 --> 01:15:23,751
- They're trophy makers,
big chicken!
1465
01:15:23,753 --> 01:15:25,553
They came here to try
and stop you from getting
1466
01:15:25,555 --> 01:15:27,755
Your big trophy
at the springle bell toy run.
1467
01:15:27,757 --> 01:15:29,957
- I knew
we couldn't trust you.
1468
01:15:29,959 --> 01:15:31,592
Narrator: Getting in the way
of big chicken
1469
01:15:31,594 --> 01:15:33,194
Winning that trophy
was just a death sentence
1470
01:15:33,196 --> 01:15:36,531
Waiting to be carried out.
1471
01:15:36,533 --> 01:15:38,599
- I'd love to see the look
on you boys' face
1472
01:15:38,601 --> 01:15:41,269
When paul-of-the-shed's
killing you.
1473
01:15:41,271 --> 01:15:43,204
Oh, wait.
I will.
1474
01:15:43,206 --> 01:15:46,641
He's filming it.
[laughs]
1475
01:15:46,643 --> 01:15:50,578
Narrator: Paul-of-the-shed
was a giant clown director.
1476
01:15:50,580 --> 01:15:52,813
Well, he was 8 feet tall.
1477
01:15:52,815 --> 01:15:55,550
Paul also shot clown snuff.
1478
01:15:55,552 --> 01:15:57,084
Hey, that's
when you murder someone
1479
01:15:57,086 --> 01:15:58,853
In real life
and you film it!
1480
01:15:58,855 --> 01:16:03,658
All paul needed now
was his new clowns.
1481
01:16:03,660 --> 01:16:06,661
- Won't be long now,
serial buddies.
1482
01:16:06,663 --> 01:16:11,232
[laughs]
1483
01:16:11,234 --> 01:16:14,135
That's a large.
No sauce and cold sardines.
1484
01:16:14,137 --> 01:16:18,172
- Where are my reinforcements?
1485
01:16:18,174 --> 01:16:21,042
- I'm sorry I got you guys
into this.
1486
01:16:21,044 --> 01:16:23,010
- Oh, no, graham.
1487
01:16:23,012 --> 01:16:24,812
This is the lord's doing.
1488
01:16:24,814 --> 01:16:27,848
The catholic way
of "sin now, sorry later"
1489
01:16:27,850 --> 01:16:29,884
Is as much a myth
as the easter bunny
1490
01:16:29,886 --> 01:16:33,254
And energy vampires.
1491
01:16:33,256 --> 01:16:37,992
[indistinct chatter]
1492
01:16:37,994 --> 01:16:40,628
- I told you
it wouldn't be long.
1493
01:16:40,630 --> 01:16:42,029
[giggles]
- what?
1494
01:16:42,031 --> 01:16:43,230
What?
1495
01:16:43,232 --> 01:16:45,066
- All right,
I am an energy vampire.
1496
01:16:45,068 --> 01:16:47,134
Happy now?
[groans]
1497
01:16:48,170 --> 01:16:50,338
- Are they dead?
- Comatose.
1498
01:16:50,340 --> 01:16:52,139
Normally, I would've
talked 'em to death,
1499
01:16:52,141 --> 01:16:53,874
But I've changed too.
1500
01:16:53,876 --> 01:16:56,243
- Well, let's bust this joint.
1501
01:16:56,245 --> 01:16:58,613
- Yeah,
we're busting a joint.
1502
01:16:58,615 --> 01:17:01,983
- A real life energy vampire.
1503
01:17:01,985 --> 01:17:04,352
I can't believe
you pulled it off, vinny.
1504
01:17:04,354 --> 01:17:06,921
- Fellas, we're serial buddies.
We can do anything.
1505
01:17:06,923 --> 01:17:08,222
Now let's go drive
in circles
1506
01:17:08,224 --> 01:17:09,657
And have me talk
at you not to you.
1507
01:17:09,659 --> 01:17:10,925
- Hey.
1508
01:17:10,927 --> 01:17:15,696
Why don't you just stop
and talk at me,
1509
01:17:15,698 --> 01:17:17,665
Energy vampire.
1510
01:17:17,667 --> 01:17:20,067
- Aah!
1511
01:17:20,069 --> 01:17:21,969
- Gary's reinforcements
from ron-a-roll
1512
01:17:21,971 --> 01:17:24,905
Finally arrived.
1513
01:17:24,907 --> 01:17:26,741
- You know you're dead,
right?
1514
01:17:26,743 --> 01:17:29,377
- Oh, absolutely.
- Pretty dead.
1515
01:17:29,379 --> 01:17:31,212
- Yeah, we're done.
- Mm-hmm.
1516
01:17:31,214 --> 01:17:34,382
- Uh, can I get a minute?
Thanks!
1517
01:17:35,884 --> 01:17:37,652
You know what we gotta do,
right?
1518
01:17:37,654 --> 01:17:40,888
- Oh, not that.
It's inhuman.
1519
01:17:40,890 --> 01:17:45,893
- We're dead anyways.
1520
01:17:45,895 --> 01:17:51,966
- We are dead.
Good-bye, vinny.
1521
01:17:55,871 --> 01:17:59,240
Now bite down.
1522
01:17:59,242 --> 01:18:02,309
[crunching]
it will be over soon.
1523
01:18:02,311 --> 01:18:05,413
- Oh, I'm bored.
1524
01:18:05,415 --> 01:18:07,448
Get 'em!
1525
01:18:07,450 --> 01:18:10,151
[the monkees' goin' down plays]
1526
01:18:10,153 --> 01:18:12,053
- ♪ floatin' down the river
with a saturated liver ♪
1527
01:18:12,055 --> 01:18:13,821
♪ and I wish I could forgive her
but I do believe she meant it ♪
1528
01:18:13,823 --> 01:18:14,922
♪ when she told me
to forget it ♪
1529
01:18:14,924 --> 01:18:16,223
♪ and I bet she will regret it
1530
01:18:16,225 --> 01:18:17,258
♪ when they find me
in the morning ♪
1531
01:18:17,260 --> 01:18:18,859
♪ wet and drowned
1532
01:18:18,861 --> 01:18:21,328
♪ and the word gets 'round
1533
01:18:21,330 --> 01:18:23,431
♪ goin' down,
goin' down ♪
1534
01:18:23,433 --> 01:18:25,966
♪ goin' down
1535
01:18:25,968 --> 01:18:27,468
♪ coming' up for air
it's pretty stuffy under there ♪
1536
01:18:27,470 --> 01:18:28,936
♪ I'd like to say
I didn't care ♪
1537
01:18:28,938 --> 01:18:30,137
♪ but I forgot to leave
a note ♪
1538
01:18:30,139 --> 01:18:32,039
[door lock clicks]
1539
01:18:32,041 --> 01:18:33,774
♪ I'm soakin' wet
without a boat ♪
1540
01:18:33,776 --> 01:18:35,876
♪ and I knew I should
have taken off my shoes ♪
1541
01:18:35,878 --> 01:18:36,877
♪ it's front page news
1542
01:18:36,879 --> 01:18:38,212
[lasso whooshes]
1543
01:18:38,214 --> 01:18:43,184
♪ goin' down,
goin' down ♪
1544
01:18:43,186 --> 01:18:47,455
♪
1545
01:18:47,457 --> 01:18:49,757
[rope creaking]
1546
01:18:49,759 --> 01:18:51,192
[saw scraping]
1547
01:18:51,194 --> 01:18:52,326
[string snaps]
1548
01:18:55,464 --> 01:18:56,764
[laughter]
1549
01:18:56,766 --> 01:18:57,898
[fan blowing]
1550
01:18:57,900 --> 01:18:59,233
♪ I wish I had another drink
1551
01:18:59,235 --> 01:19:00,735
♪ it wouldn't be
so hard to sink ♪
1552
01:19:00,737 --> 01:19:02,069
♪ I should have taken
time to think ♪
1553
01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:03,370
♪ besides I got
the picture straight ♪
1554
01:19:03,372 --> 01:19:04,905
♪ she must have
had another date ♪
1555
01:19:04,907 --> 01:19:06,407
♪ I didn't need
this extra weight ♪
1556
01:19:06,409 --> 01:19:07,942
♪ I wish that I could see
the way to shore ♪
1557
01:19:07,944 --> 01:19:10,077
♪ I don't want no more
1558
01:19:10,079 --> 01:19:11,779
- I'm so sor--
what's that on your nose?
1559
01:19:11,781 --> 01:19:13,981
[honks horn]
oh! I got it!
1560
01:19:13,983 --> 01:19:16,784
I got your nose!
I got it.
1561
01:19:16,786 --> 01:19:18,085
I got it.
- [screams]
1562
01:19:18,087 --> 01:19:19,153
Narrator:
Just when it looked
1563
01:19:19,155 --> 01:19:23,190
Like all hope was lost...
1564
01:19:24,359 --> 01:19:26,060
[microphone feedback]
1565
01:19:26,062 --> 01:19:28,863
[crazed laughter]
1566
01:19:28,865 --> 01:19:30,331
[thunder rumbling]
1567
01:19:30,333 --> 01:19:31,999
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
1568
01:19:32,001 --> 01:19:33,267
I was watching rachael raythe other day,
1569
01:19:33,269 --> 01:19:35,970
And she made
these amazing spinach--
1570
01:19:35,972 --> 01:19:38,405
Like, almost, like,
spinach lasagna rolls.
1571
01:19:38,407 --> 01:19:40,441
They're so good.
Oh, my god.
1572
01:19:40,443 --> 01:19:43,210
I'm having a tea party later,
and I want to invite everybody.
1573
01:19:43,212 --> 01:19:45,412
Everybody here can come
to my tea party.
1574
01:19:45,414 --> 01:19:48,816
I'm having
spanish spinach lasagna rolls.
1575
01:19:48,818 --> 01:19:52,553
Yeah, spanish because I'm also
putting jalapenos in there.
1576
01:19:52,555 --> 01:19:55,990
When I was 13, I finally
was let out of the incubator.
1577
01:19:55,992 --> 01:19:57,224
I was in an incubator
for 13 years,
1578
01:19:57,226 --> 01:19:58,225
And it actually
was kind of nice.
1579
01:19:58,227 --> 01:19:59,493
People just came to me,
1580
01:19:59,495 --> 01:20:01,228
And I got to play
with my own stuff.
1581
01:20:01,230 --> 01:20:05,132
- Pity you can't mime
taking garlic supplements.
1582
01:20:05,134 --> 01:20:07,067
- I hated gym class, except
when it was dodge ball day,
1583
01:20:07,069 --> 01:20:09,069
'cause that was the only day
we get to hit girls.
1584
01:20:09,071 --> 01:20:10,905
And my best friend anthony
used to have
1585
01:20:10,907 --> 01:20:13,007
A little super soaker for me,
and we would play all the time.
1586
01:20:13,009 --> 01:20:14,041
And he'd invite me over
to his house
1587
01:20:14,043 --> 01:20:15,409
And we'd go swimming.
1588
01:20:15,411 --> 01:20:16,510
Well, I'd go to his house
and go swimming.
1589
01:20:16,512 --> 01:20:18,345
He wasn't there.
[giggles]
1590
01:20:18,347 --> 01:20:20,147
He really didn't know
I went swimming at his house.
1591
01:20:20,149 --> 01:20:24,251
- He's gone
full energy vampire.
1592
01:20:24,253 --> 01:20:26,253
- I got to go
after big chicken.
1593
01:20:26,255 --> 01:20:28,923
You got the ball, rook.
1594
01:20:28,925 --> 01:20:30,491
- Oh, man.
High school was the best.
1595
01:20:30,493 --> 01:20:32,326
There was this one day that
I forgot my lunch at home.
1596
01:20:32,328 --> 01:20:34,829
Luckily, my biology teacher
was like, "hey, guys.
1597
01:20:34,831 --> 01:20:36,430
Here's some frogs."
1598
01:20:36,432 --> 01:20:38,032
And everybody started cutting
them and I just was like,
1599
01:20:38,034 --> 01:20:39,934
"nah, I just like
to eat things whole."
1600
01:20:39,936 --> 01:20:41,602
So I picked up my frog
and I ate it.
1601
01:20:41,604 --> 01:20:43,838
They call it "dissecting,"
1602
01:20:43,840 --> 01:20:46,373
Which is I think is
the jewish word for "feeding."
1603
01:20:46,375 --> 01:20:51,011
- Going somewhere?
1604
01:20:51,013 --> 01:20:52,446
[knock on window]
1605
01:20:52,448 --> 01:20:55,049
- So what's it going to be?
1606
01:20:55,051 --> 01:20:58,319
Me or your friend?
1607
01:20:58,321 --> 01:21:01,889
- Rookie!
1608
01:21:01,891 --> 01:21:04,091
- Have a nice day.
1609
01:21:10,065 --> 01:21:14,435
Narrator: But in the end,
it all came down to gary.
1610
01:21:18,907 --> 01:21:22,977
- We're getting out of here,
rookie.
1611
01:21:25,180 --> 01:21:27,414
Go.
1612
01:21:33,622 --> 01:21:35,055
- Mentor!
1613
01:21:47,369 --> 01:21:49,169
[clatter]
1614
01:22:00,649 --> 01:22:05,019
- Rook,
it's kravello.
1615
01:22:05,021 --> 01:22:06,320
What was it you said
to the kid?
1616
01:22:06,322 --> 01:22:08,589
Same thing rocky balboa
said to his kid.
1617
01:22:08,591 --> 01:22:10,057
"it ain't how hard
you can hit.
1618
01:22:10,059 --> 01:22:11,258
"it's how hard
you can get hit
1619
01:22:11,260 --> 01:22:12,459
"and keep moving forward.
1620
01:22:12,461 --> 01:22:14,495
"how much you can take
1621
01:22:14,497 --> 01:22:17,998
And keep moving forward."
1622
01:22:18,000 --> 01:22:19,400
Get up, gary!
1623
01:22:19,402 --> 01:22:22,403
[kazoo playing
theme from rocky]
1624
01:22:22,405 --> 01:22:30,477
♪
1625
01:22:38,520 --> 01:22:41,722
- I must break you.
1626
01:22:41,724 --> 01:22:44,358
- Go for it.
1627
01:22:44,360 --> 01:22:46,727
- [grunts]
1628
01:22:46,729 --> 01:22:49,196
- Hey, guys!
We did it!
1629
01:22:49,198 --> 01:22:51,198
- Oh, you think so, huh?
1630
01:22:51,200 --> 01:22:55,336
Well, where are your two buddies
now, huh, energy vampire?
1631
01:22:55,338 --> 01:22:57,972
- They're in the shed
with paul.
1632
01:22:57,974 --> 01:23:00,074
Or their bodies are anyhow.
[laughs]
1633
01:23:00,076 --> 01:23:03,277
- [groaning]
1634
01:23:03,279 --> 01:23:06,280
[elegiac music]
1635
01:23:06,282 --> 01:23:12,353
- ♪ we're all gonna die
1636
01:23:14,356 --> 01:23:17,558
[thud]
1637
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:20,561
[triumphant music]
1638
01:23:20,563 --> 01:23:23,063
♪
1639
01:23:23,065 --> 01:23:24,631
- It ain't how hard
you can hit.
1640
01:23:24,633 --> 01:23:26,667
It's how hard
you can get hit.
1641
01:23:26,669 --> 01:23:29,670
[triumphant kazoo music]
1642
01:23:29,672 --> 01:23:36,443
♪
1643
01:23:36,445 --> 01:23:39,480
- Mentor got his super retard
strength back.
1644
01:23:39,482 --> 01:23:41,648
- How?
You thought about lisa?
1645
01:23:41,650 --> 01:23:44,118
Oh, mr. Trophy.
1646
01:23:44,120 --> 01:23:48,789
- Actually, I just thought
about how he hurt my friends.
1647
01:23:48,791 --> 01:23:51,291
[both laugh]
1648
01:23:51,293 --> 01:23:56,363
[children screaming]
1649
01:23:58,767 --> 01:24:00,434
- It's jared
and the missing kids.
1650
01:24:00,436 --> 01:24:04,738
[screaming continues]
1651
01:24:04,740 --> 01:24:07,741
- Who raised these brats?
1652
01:24:07,743 --> 01:24:10,611
- This is why
I hate abducted children.
1653
01:24:10,613 --> 01:24:13,614
They're so inconsiderate.
1654
01:24:13,616 --> 01:24:16,817
Delinquents!
1655
01:24:16,819 --> 01:24:18,685
- I'm emily frances
live on the scene,
1656
01:24:18,687 --> 01:24:21,255
And police are en route
as we speak.
1657
01:24:21,257 --> 01:24:23,490
It's a bizarre
and insidious scheme.
1658
01:24:23,492 --> 01:24:26,193
Motorcycle outlaw
ralph "big chicken" morelli
1659
01:24:26,195 --> 01:24:29,830
Was abducting children
to use as slave labor
1660
01:24:29,832 --> 01:24:31,698
To build toys,
of all things.
1661
01:24:31,700 --> 01:24:35,269
Well, it turns out
the alleged plan
1662
01:24:35,271 --> 01:24:36,804
Was to make enough toys to win
1663
01:24:36,806 --> 01:24:40,140
The springle bell toy run
trophy.
1664
01:24:40,142 --> 01:24:42,609
A $200,000 reward
was offered.
1665
01:24:42,611 --> 01:24:44,611
- Hmm. Thoughts?
1666
01:24:44,613 --> 01:24:46,680
- [laughs]
it is jared.
1667
01:24:46,682 --> 01:24:48,115
- Yeah,
I think this look
1668
01:24:48,117 --> 01:24:49,650
Really works on him.
- Yeah.
1669
01:24:49,652 --> 01:24:52,419
- Okay, we're done here.
I said go.
1670
01:24:52,421 --> 01:24:54,455
Kids.
[laughs]
1671
01:24:54,457 --> 01:24:57,324
- Gregory, you want to do
this interview with me?
1672
01:24:57,326 --> 01:24:58,826
- Well, thank you, friend,
1673
01:24:58,828 --> 01:25:03,630
But I no longer
require the adulation.
1674
01:25:03,632 --> 01:25:07,301
Besides,
you like working alone.
1675
01:25:18,680 --> 01:25:20,514
- Hello.
- Hello.
1676
01:25:20,516 --> 01:25:23,350
With me now is--
is a true american hero.
1677
01:25:23,352 --> 01:25:26,420
This man single-handedly
saved dozens of lives.
1678
01:25:26,422 --> 01:25:28,222
How did you do it?
1679
01:25:28,224 --> 01:25:30,791
- Uh, well,
it wasn't single-handedly.
1680
01:25:30,793 --> 01:25:34,828
I had help from
my new partner, graham.
1681
01:25:34,830 --> 01:25:36,730
- Gary and graham,
1682
01:25:36,732 --> 01:25:39,800
What message would you convey
to the rescued children,
1683
01:25:39,802 --> 01:25:42,302
Their parents,
and everyone else watching?
1684
01:25:43,638 --> 01:25:45,806
- Please make mr. Trophy
1685
01:25:45,808 --> 01:25:48,175
Your number one choice
in awards.
1686
01:25:48,177 --> 01:25:51,879
- Mr. Trophy,
proudly servicing
1687
01:25:51,881 --> 01:25:57,217
Your plaque, medal, ribbon,
and trophy-winning needs.
1688
01:26:06,261 --> 01:26:09,329
- Whoo!
1689
01:26:09,331 --> 01:26:10,898
- [laughs]
1690
01:26:10,900 --> 01:26:13,901
[triumphant music
1691
01:26:13,903 --> 01:26:17,237
♪
1692
01:26:17,239 --> 01:26:18,405
- Help!
1693
01:26:18,407 --> 01:26:19,406
Mommy, mommy.
Help!
1694
01:26:19,408 --> 01:26:27,481
♪
1695
01:26:35,523 --> 01:26:37,824
Narrator: Turned out
the buddies were right.
1696
01:26:37,826 --> 01:26:41,428
It was truly
the best spring break ever.
1697
01:26:41,430 --> 01:26:44,431
[triumphant kazoo music]
1698
01:26:44,433 --> 01:26:52,506
♪
1699
01:27:20,335 --> 01:27:22,803
- The lawn mover really helps.
1700
01:27:22,805 --> 01:27:25,806
[kazoo music]
1701
01:27:25,808 --> 01:27:29,643
♪
1702
01:27:29,645 --> 01:27:30,944
♪ I go to work
1703
01:27:30,946 --> 01:27:33,247
♪ although I hate my job
1704
01:27:33,249 --> 01:27:35,749
♪ but hating your job
1705
01:27:35,751 --> 01:27:41,755
♪ is better than no job
at all ♪
1706
01:27:41,757 --> 01:27:43,690
♪ I want an ipod
1707
01:27:43,692 --> 01:27:45,592
♪ 'cause I think
they're cool ♪
1708
01:27:45,594 --> 01:27:47,828
♪ but I can't afford it
1709
01:27:47,830 --> 01:27:51,932
♪ I can't afford things
that are cool ♪
1710
01:27:51,934 --> 01:27:54,001
♪
1711
01:27:54,003 --> 01:27:56,970
♪ I wanna work toward
1712
01:27:56,972 --> 01:28:01,742
♪ a better me
1713
01:28:01,744 --> 01:28:07,514
♪ but change
takes too much energy ♪
1714
01:28:07,516 --> 01:28:09,750
♪ so why try?
1715
01:28:09,752 --> 01:28:11,952
♪ it's too hard to try
1716
01:28:11,954 --> 01:28:13,820
♪ so why try?
1717
01:28:13,822 --> 01:28:16,890
♪ we're all gonna die
1718
01:28:16,892 --> 01:28:20,627
♪
1719
01:28:20,629 --> 01:28:22,529
♪ I got two friends
1720
01:28:22,531 --> 01:28:24,698
♪ and they're kinda boring
1721
01:28:24,700 --> 01:28:26,700
♪ but I'm kinda boring
1722
01:28:26,702 --> 01:28:30,370
♪ I guess that's why
I have boring friends ♪
1723
01:28:30,372 --> 01:28:32,706
♪
1724
01:28:32,708 --> 01:28:34,741
♪ I wanna be funny
1725
01:28:34,743 --> 01:28:37,077
♪ like those guys on tv
1726
01:28:37,079 --> 01:28:38,879
♪ when I pull down
my pants ♪
1727
01:28:38,881 --> 01:28:42,683
♪ my mom doesn't laugh
at my jokes ♪
1728
01:28:42,685 --> 01:28:45,519
♪
1729
01:28:45,521 --> 01:28:48,322
♪ I wanna work toward
1730
01:28:48,324 --> 01:28:52,893
♪ a better me
1731
01:28:52,895 --> 01:28:58,899
♪ but change
takes too much energy ♪
1732
01:28:58,901 --> 01:29:01,501
♪ so why try?
1733
01:29:01,503 --> 01:29:03,837
♪ it's too hard to try
1734
01:29:03,839 --> 01:29:06,106
♪ why try?
1735
01:29:06,108 --> 01:29:08,442
♪ we're all gonna die
1736
01:29:08,444 --> 01:29:16,516
♪
1737
01:29:36,104 --> 01:29:37,671
♪ girls are real cute
1738
01:29:37,673 --> 01:29:39,873
♪ but I can't talk to girls
1739
01:29:39,875 --> 01:29:42,075
♪ I get really scared
1740
01:29:42,077 --> 01:29:46,480
♪ the priest
even told me I'm gay ♪
1741
01:29:46,482 --> 01:29:48,081
♪
1742
01:29:48,083 --> 01:29:50,450
♪ I probably should shower
1743
01:29:50,452 --> 01:29:52,452
♪ got work in an hour
1744
01:29:52,454 --> 01:29:54,388
♪ to pay for my power
1745
01:29:54,390 --> 01:29:58,058
♪ I'd probably
get fired again ♪
1746
01:29:58,060 --> 01:30:00,460
♪ so why try?
1747
01:30:00,462 --> 01:30:02,462
♪ it's too hard to try
1748
01:30:02,464 --> 01:30:04,464
♪ why try?
1749
01:30:04,466 --> 01:30:05,999
♪ we're all gonna die
1750
01:30:06,001 --> 01:30:08,702
♪ so why try?
1751
01:30:08,704 --> 01:30:12,773
♪ everyone listening to this
will die ♪121725
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.