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1
00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:05,904
Hello,Beaver!
Hi, Wally!
2
00:01:10,479 --> 00:01:12,845
Mommy, there's Bert,
the pie man!
3
00:01:12,915 --> 00:01:15,008
- Morning, Bert!
- Hello, Mrs. Brown!
4
00:01:15,084 --> 00:01:17,678
Great day, isn't it?
Yep!
5
00:01:18,854 --> 00:01:22,620
- Have a good day, dear.
- You too, honey.
6
00:01:55,424 --> 00:01:57,016
[ Electricity Crackles ]
7
00:02:01,196 --> 00:02:04,996
- [ Barking ]
- Oh!
8
00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:07,661
I'll get you for this,
Beaver Cleaver!
9
00:02:09,938 --> 00:02:12,202
[ Gasping ]
10
00:02:12,975 --> 00:02:15,466
Oh!
11
00:02:23,052 --> 00:02:25,384
[ Cat Screeches ]
12
00:02:26,955 --> 00:02:30,618
[ Whistling ]
13
00:02:40,602 --> 00:02:42,001
[ Whistling ]
14
00:02:42,071 --> 00:02:43,402
- Morning, Bert!
- Morning, Bert!
15
00:02:43,472 --> 00:02:45,337
Morning, boys!
Great day, isn't it?
16
00:02:56,585 --> 00:02:58,519
[ Groaning ]
17
00:03:01,824 --> 00:03:03,951
[ Grunts ]
18
00:03:04,026 --> 00:03:08,520
Sorry, mister.
That was the first one I missed all day.
19
00:03:08,597 --> 00:03:10,531
Huh!
20
00:03:21,343 --> 00:03:24,710
Hey, Wally, stop, stop!
Please!
21
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:30,544
There it is. That's the most
beautiful thing I ever seen.
22
00:03:30,619 --> 00:03:35,283
Well, golly, gee! It's Wally
and the Beaver at the bike shop.
23
00:03:35,357 --> 00:03:37,791
What do you want,
Eddie Haskell?
24
00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:40,385
The usual. See how fast
I can make ya cry.
25
00:03:40,462 --> 00:03:44,228
Hey, knock it off, Eddie. Why you always
givin' Beaver the business?
26
00:03:44,299 --> 00:03:47,598
Well, basically because...
it's so easy.
27
00:03:47,669 --> 00:03:52,231
Wally, I want that bike more than
anything ever, even super powers.
28
00:03:52,307 --> 00:03:56,505
Don't go cry to Wally. You want advice
on how to get a bike? Ask the master.
29
00:03:56,578 --> 00:03:59,741
How will I know
when I see "the master?"
30
00:03:59,815 --> 00:04:02,443
Because he's wearin'
what I'm wearin'.
31
00:04:02,518 --> 00:04:05,885
Now, let's chat, squirt.
Have a seat in my office.
32
00:04:10,192 --> 00:04:13,093
Now, you want a bike,
but you're a screw up.
33
00:04:13,162 --> 00:04:15,392
- Eddie.
- Isn't this the same kid...
34
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:18,592
who lost his Nikes, broke his Walkman
and almost burned down the garage?
35
00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:21,192
The garage wasn't
Beaver's fault.
36
00:04:21,270 --> 00:04:24,171
You got a birthday comin' up.
As any normal kid knows,
37
00:04:24,239 --> 00:04:27,174
the way to score a cool present
is to suck up to your parents.
38
00:04:27,242 --> 00:04:31,838
- Suck up?
- It's so second nature to me,
I forget others find it hard.
39
00:04:31,914 --> 00:04:35,372
Yes, suck up. Do something
that'll make your old man proud.
40
00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:40,979
He's a frustrated jock. Why not do
something like... play football?
41
00:04:41,056 --> 00:04:43,286
Football?
He'll get demolished.
42
00:04:43,358 --> 00:04:46,987
As appealing as that may sound, Wallace,
it doesn't matter.
43
00:04:47,062 --> 00:04:50,725
The minute you get that bike--
Wham! You quit the team.
44
00:04:50,799 --> 00:04:54,030
But I don't do junk
like that, Eddie. You do.
45
00:04:54,102 --> 00:04:57,538
You flatter me.
Do you want that bike or don't you?
46
00:05:00,442 --> 00:05:02,376
[ Sighs ]
47
00:05:02,444 --> 00:05:06,073
[ Laughing, Chattering ]
48
00:05:09,284 --> 00:05:11,411
Hey, Dad! Dad!
49
00:05:13,455 --> 00:05:15,582
- Oh.
- Beaver, wait!
50
00:05:15,657 --> 00:05:19,559
- Aren't ya gonna say hi?
- Hi. When's Dad coming home?
51
00:05:19,628 --> 00:05:21,755
He should be home
any minute.
52
00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:24,424
Maybe I'll just wait
for him outside.
53
00:05:24,499 --> 00:05:28,833
Beaver? Is there somethin'
I can help ya with?
54
00:05:28,904 --> 00:05:33,170
Oh, no, Mom. I'm not supposed
to be sucking up to you.
55
00:05:40,482 --> 00:05:42,100
[ Boy ]
Here you go.
56
00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:45,968
- Dad! Dad! Dad!
- Hey, Beaver!
57
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:49,269
Here, Dad, let me help you
with your junk.
58
00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:51,274
Did you do something wrong?
59
00:05:51,342 --> 00:05:57,076
Gee, Dad, how come whenever I act nice,
people think I done something wrong?
60
00:05:57,148 --> 00:06:00,481
Just conditioning, Beav.
61
00:06:00,551 --> 00:06:03,111
Sure you don't want
a hand with those?
62
00:06:03,187 --> 00:06:05,781
Oh, no, Dad.
I want your hands free...
63
00:06:05,857 --> 00:06:09,156
to sign my permission slip
so I can play...
64
00:06:09,227 --> 00:06:11,525
for the Mayfield Mighty Mites.
65
00:06:11,596 --> 00:06:16,158
[ Clears Throat ]
You wanna play... football.
66
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:21,465
- [ Whistle Blows ]
- Yeah!
67
00:06:26,377 --> 00:06:28,504
Go, Beaver!
Pick it up!
68
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:32,981
[ Grunts ]
69
00:06:37,955 --> 00:06:40,651
Go! Go! Go!
70
00:06:40,725 --> 00:06:43,023
- Yeah!
- [ Whistle Blows ]
71
00:06:44,428 --> 00:06:46,658
[ Mom ]
Beaver? Play football?
72
00:06:46,731 --> 00:06:48,892
You didn't tell him
he could, did you, Ward?
73
00:06:48,966 --> 00:06:51,560
Of course not. I told him
I had to check with you first.
74
00:06:51,636 --> 00:06:53,695
Oh! And make me
the bad guy.
75
00:06:53,771 --> 00:06:55,864
Do you want a repeat
of T-ball season?
76
00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:57,874
Have you forgotten
about the Beaver--
77
00:06:57,942 --> 00:07:02,470
- Who's winning now, Wally?
- I don't know, Beav.
78
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:06,005
They're talking about stuff in the past
that they're still ticked off about.
79
00:07:06,083 --> 00:07:11,487
Tell me you're doing this because
it's in your son's best interest...
80
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:14,320
and not to fulfill some lingering
adolescent fantasy of yours.
81
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:17,555
What? Dear, when I was playing sandlot,
it really changed my life.
82
00:07:17,628 --> 00:07:21,086
I know what you're thinking, but
Beaver's not too small to play football.
83
00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:24,395
Hut! Hut! Hut!
84
00:07:24,399 --> 00:07:28,460
- Hut! Hut! Hut!
- Mayfield!
85
00:07:28,537 --> 00:07:30,903
- Beav, other way! Other way!
- Mayfield!
86
00:07:30,973 --> 00:07:35,569
- One, two, three, four!
- Your mommies, your daddies...
87
00:07:35,644 --> 00:07:38,112
think this isn't
about winning or losing!
88
00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:42,139
One, two, three, six!
One two, three, seven!
89
00:07:42,217 --> 00:07:45,584
One, two, three, eight!
One, two, three, nine!
90
00:07:45,654 --> 00:07:51,524
[ Coach ] They think it's about building
character, don't they, Cleaver?
91
00:07:51,593 --> 00:07:53,527
We're gonna go over
to this play here.
92
00:07:53,595 --> 00:07:55,927
We're gonna have this guard pull out
here. This guy pulls out here.
93
00:07:55,998 --> 00:07:57,932
The quarterback drops back.
We have an option.
94
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,934
He goes deep,
and we go to him.
95
00:08:00,002 --> 00:08:02,527
[ Coach's Voice ] Looks the same--
Different look--
96
00:08:02,604 --> 00:08:04,469
- This play is different.
- See?
97
00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:06,701
- It's all relative.
- [ Coach Continues, indistinct ]
98
00:08:06,775 --> 00:08:11,337
- Hmm? You understand?
- The quarterback sneaks back.
99
00:08:11,413 --> 00:08:14,177
We are here to do two things
and two things only.
100
00:08:14,249 --> 00:08:18,049
That is to win
and to win big!
101
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,951
- [ Together ] Yeah!
- Yeah!
102
00:08:20,022 --> 00:08:22,217
Break!
103
00:08:22,291 --> 00:08:26,523
- Break!
- Come on, Beaver! Go get 'em!
104
00:08:26,595 --> 00:08:31,157
Down! Set!
105
00:08:31,233 --> 00:08:34,566
- You're lunch meat!
- [ Growls ] You're mine!
106
00:08:36,038 --> 00:08:37,562
Go!
107
00:08:37,639 --> 00:08:39,834
- [ Grunting ]
- Put it up, Cleaver!
108
00:08:39,908 --> 00:08:42,877
- [ Coach ] Put it up!
- [ Screaming ]
109
00:08:42,945 --> 00:08:47,541
There's gotta be
an easier way to get a bike.
110
00:08:47,616 --> 00:08:49,811
Yeah, well, what'd
you expect, Beav?
111
00:08:49,885 --> 00:08:54,151
There is a reason football
players wear more equipment
than guys who train attack dogs.
112
00:08:54,223 --> 00:08:56,157
Bedtime, boys.
113
00:08:56,225 --> 00:08:58,819
Beaver, decided where you're gonna put
that Heisman trophy?
114
00:08:58,894 --> 00:09:02,057
You mean I don't have to wait till
the end of the season to get a trophy?
115
00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:06,430
He's just jokin' on ya, Beav. You don't
get the Heisman trophy till college.
116
00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:08,935
Well, after watching you today,
I wouldn't rule it out.
117
00:09:09,004 --> 00:09:12,064
You took some licks,
but you didn't quit.
118
00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:15,701
Your mom and I just want you
to know how proud we are of ya.
119
00:09:17,813 --> 00:09:22,841
I wanted to let you know I've decided
to become a doctor when I grow up.
120
00:09:22,918 --> 00:09:25,614
Oh, boy, wait'll
I tell your mom. Ha!
121
00:09:25,687 --> 00:09:28,713
I always said football
is a real confidence builder.
122
00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:32,419
Back when I was playing sandlot
I found that I learned the great many--
123
00:09:32,494 --> 00:09:36,521
Yeah, well,
you've heard this before.
124
00:09:36,598 --> 00:09:39,465
Where did we leave off?
125
00:09:40,535 --> 00:09:42,503
Here we are.
126
00:09:42,571 --> 00:09:46,166
"Now, Dottie the Dinosaur
had never seen a human being before.
127
00:09:46,241 --> 00:09:50,007
"Such a tiny creature who only walks
on two legs and eats berries.
128
00:09:50,078 --> 00:09:52,205
'Couldn't be much
of a hunter,' said Dottie."
129
00:09:52,281 --> 00:09:56,775
Dad! If a guy's old enough
to play football,
130
00:09:56,852 --> 00:10:02,085
then don't you think maybe he's too old
to have his dad read to him?
131
00:10:02,157 --> 00:10:04,216
Well, maybe you have
a point there, Beav.
132
00:10:04,293 --> 00:10:06,693
You read it yourself,
but don't stay up too late.
133
00:10:06,762 --> 00:10:10,459
- Thanks, Dad.
- [ Chuckles ] Well, good night, Beav.
134
00:10:10,532 --> 00:10:14,468
Uh, Dad, if a guy's
too old to be read to,
135
00:10:14,536 --> 00:10:18,302
then he's probably too old
to get kissed good night to.
136
00:10:26,081 --> 00:10:28,140
Good night, Dad.
137
00:10:29,584 --> 00:10:31,984
Good night.
138
00:10:44,066 --> 00:10:46,466
- I think he took that pretty well.
- Yeah.
139
00:10:46,535 --> 00:10:48,628
But I was worried,
'cause for a minute he had...
140
00:10:48,704 --> 00:10:53,300
that same blubbery look
he had at the end of The Lion King.
141
00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:56,760
[ Dog Barking
In The Distance ]
142
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,593
[ Mom ] Okay, everybody, gather around.
It's time for cake.
143
00:10:59,596 --> 00:11:01,530
- Come on!
- Let's go, boys!
144
00:11:01,598 --> 00:11:03,532
- Is everybody ready?
- I'm low on batteries.
145
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:07,627
Happy birthday to you
146
00:11:07,704 --> 00:11:11,663
Happy birthday to you
147
00:11:11,741 --> 00:11:17,008
You smell like a wino
148
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:21,949
Happy birthday to you
149
00:11:22,018 --> 00:11:23,952
- Make a wish, Beaver.
- Big wish, Beav.
150
00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:25,954
Make a wish.
151
00:11:31,895 --> 00:11:35,456
- [ Cheering ]
- Way to go, Beav!
152
00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:42,271
[ Murmuring ]
153
00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:47,673
[ Eddie ] Hey, Lumpy, quit stuffin'
your face and pay attention.
154
00:11:47,744 --> 00:11:53,114
I've put together a little photographic
compilation of my future soul mate.
155
00:11:53,183 --> 00:11:58,018
And here's Karen
takin' her dog for a walk.
156
00:11:58,087 --> 00:12:01,022
And here she is
at the store with her mom.
157
00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:03,058
Oh! That's my
favorite outfit of hers.
158
00:12:03,126 --> 00:12:06,289
Eddie, you might want to
back off a little bit, huh?
159
00:12:06,362 --> 00:12:08,830
What are ya talkin' about?
I'm doin' great.
160
00:12:08,898 --> 00:12:13,892
A week ago we were total strangers.
Last night... I was in her bedroom.
161
00:12:13,970 --> 00:12:16,666
Yeah, you were in her bedroom,
all right.
162
00:12:16,739 --> 00:12:19,401
But Karen and her family
were at the movies.
163
00:12:19,475 --> 00:12:23,502
Can't you ever just
be happy for me? Hmm?
164
00:12:25,582 --> 00:12:29,018
Mom, Dad, can we open the presents now?
Please, please, please, please.
165
00:12:29,085 --> 00:12:33,852
June, you really should monitor
the boy's sugar intake.
166
00:12:33,923 --> 00:12:35,857
Here we are.
167
00:12:35,925 --> 00:12:39,053
- This one is from Gilbert!
- Oh, come on, Mrs. Cleaver.
168
00:12:39,128 --> 00:12:41,358
Don't blame me, Beav.
It's a recycle.
169
00:12:41,431 --> 00:12:44,923
I wouldn't wear it when I got it,
so my mom's giving it to you.
170
00:12:45,001 --> 00:12:47,993
Well, that's
a lovely gesture, Gilbert.
171
00:12:49,873 --> 00:12:52,171
Well, I guess that's it.
172
00:12:52,242 --> 00:12:56,611
- No, Beaver. There's more.
- Really?
173
00:12:58,114 --> 00:12:59,741
Wheel it out, Ward!
174
00:13:03,786 --> 00:13:05,413
[ Together ]
Whoa!
175
00:13:07,257 --> 00:13:09,191
Wow.
176
00:13:09,259 --> 00:13:11,727
- A computer.
- From your Aunt Martha.
177
00:13:11,794 --> 00:13:15,252
Thanks. Nothin' I like more
than an educational gift.
178
00:13:15,331 --> 00:13:17,026
- Aw!
- [ Ward ] Well, Beav!
179
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,125
What more could
a boy ask for?
180
00:13:19,202 --> 00:13:23,969
Yeah. I guess that's about all
a guy could ask for, huh?
181
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:28,704
I'm glad you feel that way, but your mom
and I wanted to get you something else.
182
00:13:28,778 --> 00:13:31,611
[ Whistles ]
Wally!
183
00:13:34,050 --> 00:13:36,211
[ Boys ]
Whoa!
184
00:13:36,286 --> 00:13:38,720
Whoa!
185
00:13:43,259 --> 00:13:48,595
Thanks, Mom! Thanks, Dad! You're the
bestest parents in the whole universe!
186
00:13:59,642 --> 00:14:01,837
Whoa! Awesome!
187
00:14:01,911 --> 00:14:04,471
Whoo!
188
00:14:07,116 --> 00:14:09,107
Whoa!
189
00:14:16,059 --> 00:14:19,187
- Bye, Dad. Bye, Mom.
- Here you go.
190
00:14:19,262 --> 00:14:21,457
Bye.
191
00:14:21,531 --> 00:14:23,465
- Bye, Mom.
- Good-bye.
192
00:14:23,533 --> 00:14:25,592
- See ya, Dad.
- Oh, Wally, could you do us a favor?
193
00:14:25,668 --> 00:14:30,662
I'll do my homework every day without
you guys havin' to crawl up my a--
194
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:33,334
That's great, Wally,
but we weren't really going there.
195
00:14:33,409 --> 00:14:35,343
Beaver's never ridden his bike
to school before.
196
00:14:35,411 --> 00:14:37,345
We were hoping you could go with him
the first few days.
197
00:14:37,413 --> 00:14:41,179
- Show him the ropes.
- Oh! I get ya.
198
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:43,980
You just don't want some truck
turnin' the Beaver into road kill.
199
00:14:44,053 --> 00:14:46,453
Something like that.
Yeah.
200
00:14:46,522 --> 00:14:50,049
- See ya, Wal.
- Okay, Dad.
201
00:14:50,126 --> 00:14:52,959
- [ Sighs ]
- [ Sighs ]
202
00:14:53,029 --> 00:14:55,293
Well, there they go.
203
00:14:58,768 --> 00:15:03,467
[ Chattering ]
204
00:15:06,075 --> 00:15:08,635
- [ Bell Rings ]
- [ Chattering Stops ]
205
00:15:08,711 --> 00:15:12,738
L-A-N-D-E-R-S.
206
00:15:12,815 --> 00:15:17,081
I play tennis.
I like to travel.
207
00:15:17,153 --> 00:15:21,351
And I enjoy curling up in front of the
fire with a big pile of book reports.
208
00:15:21,424 --> 00:15:24,621
- Yes?
- Excuse me, Miss Landers.
209
00:15:24,694 --> 00:15:27,561
- But how many N's are there in tennis?
- Two.
210
00:15:27,630 --> 00:15:30,190
But you don't need to take notes.
You aren't going to be tested on this.
211
00:15:30,266 --> 00:15:32,826
- I'd rather be safe than sorry.
- [ Gags ]
212
00:15:32,902 --> 00:15:34,494
- [ Belches ]
- Then go right ahead.
213
00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:38,199
Now, why don't you tell me
about your summer vacations?
214
00:15:38,274 --> 00:15:41,869
- Susan Akatsu.
- Hi, Miss Landers.
215
00:15:41,944 --> 00:15:45,778
This summer we went to Mount Rushmore,
and then my grandmother died,
216
00:15:45,848 --> 00:15:47,782
but not at Mount Rushmore.
217
00:15:47,850 --> 00:15:50,546
- Oh, Susan, I'm very sorry to hear that.
- Yeah!
218
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:53,282
Everyone was sad,
except my dad,
219
00:15:53,356 --> 00:15:57,258
'cause she always said
he never made enough money.
220
00:15:57,326 --> 00:15:59,760
Thank you, Susan.
221
00:15:59,829 --> 00:16:02,195
Gilbert Bates.
222
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:06,929
Y o, I'm Gilbert. This summer,
my parents shipped me off to camp.
223
00:16:07,003 --> 00:16:10,700
I caught impetigo, and when I got back,
my dad had moved out.
224
00:16:10,773 --> 00:16:13,606
Only since then, he moved back.
225
00:16:13,676 --> 00:16:16,873
But he's still sleepin' in my room,
and I'm sleepin' on the couch.
226
00:16:16,946 --> 00:16:20,541
Thank you, Gilbert,
for being so candid.
227
00:16:20,616 --> 00:16:25,076
Oh! And while I was away,
my cat got "runned" over.
228
00:16:25,154 --> 00:16:27,452
[ Class ]
Ewww!
229
00:16:28,791 --> 00:16:31,282
Uh, Theodore Cleaver.
230
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,796
- [ Snickering ]
- [ Laughing ]
231
00:16:34,864 --> 00:16:37,162
Isn't that your name?
232
00:16:37,233 --> 00:16:40,669
Yeah, but everyone calls me Beaver
on account of it's my nickname.
233
00:16:40,736 --> 00:16:42,670
But you can call me
whatever you want,
234
00:16:42,738 --> 00:16:46,401
'cause I don't wanna get you mad
and have you give me a bad grade.
235
00:16:46,476 --> 00:16:49,673
Well, if it's okay with you,
I'll just call ya Theodore.
236
00:16:49,745 --> 00:16:54,239
I got an awesome bike. My brother
snuck me into an "R" rated movie.
237
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:57,480
And I'm playin' football,
so I gotta wear a cup.
238
00:16:57,553 --> 00:16:59,748
Thank you, Theodore.
239
00:16:59,822 --> 00:17:02,620
Oh, and nobody
in my family died.
240
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,634
- Hey, Wally!
- Hey, guys!
241
00:17:12,702 --> 00:17:16,468
- Ah, Wallace, how fortuitous.
- What do you want, Eddie?
242
00:17:16,539 --> 00:17:18,632
Karen is in there with
a litter of her friends.
243
00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:20,938
So? What you need me for?
244
00:17:21,010 --> 00:17:23,979
I thought you'd want to be
a witness to history.
245
00:17:24,046 --> 00:17:26,344
What's he talkin' about,
Wally?
246
00:17:26,415 --> 00:17:28,815
It means he's too chicken to try and
scam on her by himself.
247
00:17:28,885 --> 00:17:31,012
Hey, Lumpy, ain't you late
for your shrink appointment?
248
00:17:31,087 --> 00:17:33,351
You promised you weren't
gonna tell anyone!
249
00:17:33,422 --> 00:17:37,518
And you trusted me. Big mistake.
[ Laughing ]
250
00:17:37,593 --> 00:17:40,494
Come on, Wally, a little help?
You're my best friend, right?
251
00:17:40,563 --> 00:17:42,656
That's what you
keep tellin' me.
252
00:17:42,732 --> 00:17:45,462
Ah, what a sport.
253
00:17:46,536 --> 00:17:49,664
Hey, can't you read?
No dogs allowed.
254
00:17:49,739 --> 00:17:52,207
Aw, come on, Eddie.
I'm supposed to be watchin' him.
255
00:17:52,275 --> 00:17:54,334
This is for
mature audiences only.
256
00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:57,902
Tie him up to a lamppost,
and we'll bring him a bowl of kibble.
257
00:17:59,549 --> 00:18:03,110
Just wait here.
This won't take long.
258
00:18:06,923 --> 00:18:10,324
[ Laughing, Chattering ]
259
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,520
[ Sniffs ]
260
00:18:12,595 --> 00:18:14,529
[ Chattering ]
261
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,733
Man, I wish
I were that straw.
262
00:18:20,803 --> 00:18:24,762
- Oh, my God.
- I'll do the talking.
263
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,638
You just stand there and
laugh and shake your head,
264
00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:31,703
like, "Where the heck
does he come up with this stuff?"
265
00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:37,786
Take another step and I'll file
a restraining order.
266
00:18:37,853 --> 00:18:41,016
Easy. We come in peace.
267
00:18:41,090 --> 00:18:44,787
Hey. Aren't you
Wally Cleaver?
268
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:50,025
Yeah. And I guess you
already know my friend Eddie?
269
00:18:50,099 --> 00:18:52,067
We've never formally met.
270
00:18:55,605 --> 00:18:58,438
Well, we just came
to say hi.
271
00:19:02,812 --> 00:19:06,043
- See ya.
- You don't have to leave yet.
272
00:19:06,115 --> 00:19:08,481
Don't you wanna sit down?
273
00:19:08,551 --> 00:19:09,950
Really?
274
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,320
[ Humming ]
275
00:19:13,329 --> 00:19:18,631
- Choice wheels.
- Thanks. I got it by lying to my dad.
276
00:19:19,702 --> 00:19:21,966
You ridin' B.M.X., man?
277
00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:24,562
Oh, no. I'm only
allowed on the sidewalk.
278
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,667
Oh, a flatlander.
Let me do some wheelin', huh?
279
00:19:28,744 --> 00:19:31,907
- Y-You wanna ride it?
- Hey, thanks, dude!
280
00:19:44,927 --> 00:19:46,861
Cool!
281
00:20:04,113 --> 00:20:06,138
Where'd you learn
all that stuff?
282
00:20:06,215 --> 00:20:10,015
It's a feel thing.
I got a few more tricks.
283
00:20:10,085 --> 00:20:11,552
Cool!
Can you show me?
284
00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:15,215
Yeah, sure.
I got one you'll never forget.
285
00:20:18,794 --> 00:20:23,231
- Hey!
- Don't worry! I just need
to whip up a little torque.
286
00:20:25,901 --> 00:20:28,199
[ Beaver ]
Awesome, dude!
287
00:20:30,372 --> 00:20:33,239
Hasta la vista, baby.
288
00:20:33,309 --> 00:20:35,834
Hey!
289
00:20:38,214 --> 00:20:40,682
Hey!
290
00:20:49,825 --> 00:20:52,988
Come back here! Hey!
291
00:20:56,332 --> 00:20:59,529
[ Panting ]
292
00:21:07,610 --> 00:21:11,341
So, did you feel
the electricity between us?
293
00:21:11,413 --> 00:21:14,007
- You didn't say a word in there.
- Exactly!
294
00:21:14,083 --> 00:21:17,075
A few sorrowful looks,
some well-placed grunts,
295
00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:20,280
just like my man,
Brad Pitt.
296
00:21:20,356 --> 00:21:22,290
[ Scoffs ]
297
00:21:22,358 --> 00:21:24,292
Come on, Beav.
Let's go home.
298
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:27,693
- I can't.
- How come?
299
00:21:27,763 --> 00:21:30,755
This cool guy came up
and wanted to show me...
300
00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:33,597
these cool bike tricks,
and I let him ride my bide.
301
00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:35,728
He did these cool bike tricks.
I thought it was pretty cool.
302
00:21:35,804 --> 00:21:38,364
He wanted to show me another
trick, and I let him ride it.
303
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,738
Then he rode away and away
and never came back!
304
00:21:40,809 --> 00:21:43,573
You got your
new bike jacked?
305
00:21:43,646 --> 00:21:45,614
Beav, how could you
let that happen?
306
00:21:45,681 --> 00:21:49,617
I guess it's cause he stole it
a little bit at a time.
307
00:21:49,685 --> 00:21:51,890
Oh, man.
308
00:21:54,559 --> 00:21:56,652
Thanks again
for the ride, Fred.
309
00:21:56,728 --> 00:22:00,664
Don't worry. I won't let you forget it.
[ Laughing ]
310
00:22:02,567 --> 00:22:05,502
- Well?
- I don't know.
311
00:22:05,570 --> 00:22:09,301
But his hair looks kind of messed up,
like he's been yelled at all day.
312
00:22:22,921 --> 00:22:26,823
You know, Beav, you may have
lucked out, after all.
313
00:22:26,891 --> 00:22:30,349
- Yeah, it's pretty good.
- It's good, Mom.
314
00:22:30,428 --> 00:22:32,396
- It's just delicious.
- Yeah, I cooked dinner.
315
00:22:32,463 --> 00:22:36,422
- Would you pass the meat, please?
- Sure, Dad.
316
00:22:36,501 --> 00:22:40,801
- June, you've outdone yourself.
This meat is outstanding.
- It's great, Mom.
317
00:22:40,872 --> 00:22:45,673
Here you go.
Did you get some bread?
318
00:22:45,743 --> 00:22:49,645
Beaver? Why are you
eating so fast?
319
00:22:49,714 --> 00:22:51,705
So I can be excused.
320
00:22:51,783 --> 00:22:55,844
Don't be in such a hurry.
Tell us everything you did today.
321
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,820
Everything?
322
00:22:57,889 --> 00:23:00,323
Yes, tell us about
your first day of school.
323
00:23:00,391 --> 00:23:03,189
Oh, yeah, school.
324
00:23:03,261 --> 00:23:06,128
I rode my bike there.
My teacher's name is Miss Landers.
325
00:23:06,197 --> 00:23:09,792
She was real nice, but they always are
on the first day so you don't freak.
326
00:23:09,867 --> 00:23:13,303
Then the bell rang and I got on
my bike and left and, uh--
327
00:23:13,371 --> 00:23:16,499
Now I'm talking to you.
May I be excused?
328
00:23:16,574 --> 00:23:19,407
What about after school?
329
00:23:19,477 --> 00:23:22,002
After school?
330
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,914
Uh, what did we do
after school, Wally?
331
00:23:28,052 --> 00:23:33,251
Well, I picked him up on his bike,
just like you told me to.
332
00:23:33,324 --> 00:23:36,691
And then we just did...
stuff.
333
00:23:36,761 --> 00:23:39,594
Yeah, Dad, we did stuff.
334
00:23:39,664 --> 00:23:41,757
Well, what kind of stuff?
335
00:23:41,833 --> 00:23:45,997
Well-- Hey, Mom,
can I have some broccoli?
336
00:23:46,070 --> 00:23:48,538
Are you sure that's all
that happened today?
337
00:23:48,606 --> 00:23:50,767
Oh, yeah, sure.
Right, Beav?
338
00:23:52,910 --> 00:23:56,846
Boys, there's something
bothering you, isn't there?
339
00:23:56,914 --> 00:23:59,439
No, Dad.
Why do you say that?
340
00:23:59,517 --> 00:24:02,179
Well, for one thing,
you hate broccoli.
341
00:24:02,253 --> 00:24:07,122
All right, I'm going to ask you again.
This time I want an honest answer.
342
00:24:07,191 --> 00:24:10,558
Did something happen that you
don't want us to know about?
343
00:24:15,199 --> 00:24:17,793
Yes.
344
00:24:19,370 --> 00:24:21,565
Well?
What was it?
345
00:24:21,639 --> 00:24:27,305
I'm on the football team, and I'm going
to be a doctor, maybe even in Africa.
346
00:24:27,378 --> 00:24:28,936
Beaver.
347
00:24:29,013 --> 00:24:32,073
My bike got "stoled."
348
00:24:32,150 --> 00:24:34,983
Stole?
How could this happen?
349
00:24:35,053 --> 00:24:37,146
You've only had that bike
for five days!
350
00:24:37,221 --> 00:24:41,624
Actually, it's only been four.
Dad, I'm sorry! Honest!
351
00:24:41,692 --> 00:24:44,559
Well, "sorry" isn't gonna bring
back your bicycle, is it?
352
00:24:44,629 --> 00:24:48,793
Or your Ken Griffey Junior
rookie card.
353
00:24:50,701 --> 00:24:52,828
Or your Game Boy.
354
00:24:52,904 --> 00:24:55,873
I'm not even gonna
mention the garage.
355
00:24:55,940 --> 00:24:58,966
Ward, the garage
was not Beaver's fault.
356
00:24:59,043 --> 00:25:01,273
All right, fine.
You're right, dear.
357
00:25:01,345 --> 00:25:04,644
What bothers me is that you have no
respect for your personal possessions.
358
00:25:04,715 --> 00:25:06,649
- Do you?
- No, sir.
359
00:25:06,717 --> 00:25:10,346
- How can you say that?
- I thought that's what
you wanted me to say.
360
00:25:10,421 --> 00:25:13,219
- Ward.
- This is another example
of what happens...
361
00:25:13,291 --> 00:25:16,783
when you're not paying attention,
isn't that right, Wally?
362
00:25:16,861 --> 00:25:21,127
But, Dad,
I didn't do anything.
363
00:25:21,199 --> 00:25:24,635
Exactly. Weren't you supposed to be
looking after your brother today?
364
00:25:24,702 --> 00:25:28,866
- Yeah--
- Well, where were you
when all this happened?
365
00:25:28,940 --> 00:25:31,966
Inside the soda shop
havin' a shake with Eddie.
366
00:25:32,043 --> 00:25:34,477
Oh! Fine! Fine!
367
00:25:34,545 --> 00:25:37,378
We looked everywhere
for it, Dad!
368
00:25:37,448 --> 00:25:40,645
We really expected
a lot more from you, Wally.
369
00:25:44,088 --> 00:25:46,556
Boy, parents are weird, huh?
370
00:25:46,624 --> 00:25:49,218
I mess up, and
they get even madder at you.
371
00:25:49,293 --> 00:25:54,230
[ Groans ] Hey--
[ Groans ]
372
00:25:57,602 --> 00:25:59,797
What did ya shove me for?
373
00:25:59,871 --> 00:26:02,135
I'm sick of always
baby-sitting ya.
374
00:26:02,206 --> 00:26:04,299
I'm sick of ya
following me around.
375
00:26:04,375 --> 00:26:07,469
"Hey, Wally, can I come?
Can I play too? Can l, Wally?"
376
00:26:07,545 --> 00:26:09,570
- Shut up!
- Make me, fart breath!
377
00:26:09,647 --> 00:26:12,309
- That's it. I'm telling.
- No! You're not!
378
00:26:12,383 --> 00:26:14,317
- [ Beaver Screams ]
- You know what bothers me?
379
00:26:14,385 --> 00:26:17,877
When something like this happens, why
do they feel they have to cover it up?
380
00:26:17,955 --> 00:26:22,654
Maybe they were afraid
you'd fly off the handle without
giving them a chance to explain.
381
00:26:22,727 --> 00:26:26,686
You didn't disappoint them,
did you?
382
00:26:26,764 --> 00:26:29,255
- [ Grunts ]
- [ Grunting ]
383
00:26:29,333 --> 00:26:32,029
When I was growing up, I said
I'd never holler at my kids...
384
00:26:32,103 --> 00:26:35,732
like my dad did,
and I did it again, didn't l?
385
00:26:35,806 --> 00:26:38,673
Why is it all men are more concerned
about their relationships...
386
00:26:38,743 --> 00:26:41,041
with their fathers than they are
their own children?
387
00:26:41,112 --> 00:26:45,071
My father was like that too.
Hmph.
388
00:26:45,149 --> 00:26:48,516
[ Beaver Shouts,
Faint ]
389
00:26:48,586 --> 00:26:50,383
[ Grunting ]
390
00:26:52,089 --> 00:26:54,887
- [ Growling ]
- [ Grunting ]
391
00:26:54,959 --> 00:26:57,689
[ Beaver Grunts ]
392
00:27:05,536 --> 00:27:09,700
I got it.
Whoa!
393
00:27:09,774 --> 00:27:12,436
[ Shouting ]
394
00:27:12,510 --> 00:27:14,205
[ Wally Grunts ]
395
00:27:14,278 --> 00:27:18,078
Don't let go, Beav.
Don't let go.
396
00:27:18,149 --> 00:27:21,915
- I still think you overreacted.
- Well, maybe you're right, dear.
397
00:27:21,986 --> 00:27:26,582
You know, I ought
to go right up there...
398
00:27:26,657 --> 00:27:28,648
and apologize for losing it.
399
00:27:28,726 --> 00:27:30,250
That would be nice.
400
00:27:30,328 --> 00:27:32,888
I just don't want them to
get off the hook so easily.
401
00:27:32,964 --> 00:27:35,524
Is it too much to ask
for them to accept...
402
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,330
a little responsibility
for themselves?
403
00:27:38,402 --> 00:27:44,307
For what that bike cost,
they can sweat it out a little longer.
404
00:27:44,375 --> 00:27:47,071
[ Both Straining ]
405
00:27:47,144 --> 00:27:49,169
Come on, Beav.
406
00:27:49,247 --> 00:27:51,977
Thanks. Oops!
407
00:27:52,049 --> 00:27:53,914
Oh, no!
408
00:27:54,986 --> 00:27:57,011
Tsk.
409
00:27:57,088 --> 00:28:00,251
[ Grunts ]
410
00:28:02,660 --> 00:28:07,154
You know, June, maybe I should give
those boys a little more credit.
411
00:28:07,231 --> 00:28:09,791
- Mm-hmm.
- [ Thudding ]
412
00:28:11,569 --> 00:28:14,333
[ Grunting ]
413
00:28:14,405 --> 00:28:16,373
[ Grunting Continues ]
414
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,466
Whoo! That was close.
415
00:28:19,543 --> 00:28:22,876
Just because you saved my life doesn't
mean I forgot you called me fart breath.
416
00:28:22,947 --> 00:28:26,007
[ Grunts, Shouts ]
417
00:28:29,754 --> 00:28:31,688
Boys!
418
00:28:31,756 --> 00:28:34,316
[ Gulps ]
419
00:28:35,426 --> 00:28:37,360
[ Barking ]
420
00:28:56,914 --> 00:29:02,750
Good afternoon, Mrs. Cleaver. I took
the liberty of bringing you your mail.
421
00:29:02,820 --> 00:29:08,019
Well, thank you, Eddie. But the boys
are grounded so you can't come in.
422
00:29:08,092 --> 00:29:10,060
Do I detect
a new fragrance?
423
00:29:10,127 --> 00:29:14,029
- Would that be patchouli oil?
- Thank you for noticing.
424
00:29:14,098 --> 00:29:17,898
You know, Mrs. Cleaver,
and I say this with all due respect,
425
00:29:17,968 --> 00:29:20,493
for a mom,
you're quite the babe.
426
00:29:24,241 --> 00:29:26,175
[ Door Closes ]
427
00:29:26,243 --> 00:29:31,681
Uh, behold a prime specimen
of "teenus screw-upius."
428
00:29:31,749 --> 00:29:33,740
What do you want?
429
00:29:33,818 --> 00:29:36,150
You know how it is
when you're driving on the freeway.
430
00:29:36,220 --> 00:29:40,418
You see an accident.
You can't help but look at the wreckage.
431
00:29:40,491 --> 00:29:43,585
Yeah, thanks for
stoppin' by, Eddie.
432
00:29:43,661 --> 00:29:47,597
Now, what I need you to do
is call up my petite flower...
433
00:29:47,665 --> 00:29:52,125
and find out how much she digs
me without sounding like I'm
the guy that put ya up to it.
434
00:29:52,203 --> 00:29:54,364
Oh, yeah?
What's in it for me?
435
00:29:54,438 --> 00:30:00,308
The proud glow you'll feel realizing
you've helped launch a successful union.
436
00:30:00,378 --> 00:30:05,577
And who knows, maybe she has
some nice quiet friend for you.
437
00:30:05,649 --> 00:30:07,742
Forget it, Eddie.
438
00:30:07,818 --> 00:30:09,945
You're not gonna sucker me
into being the go-between.
439
00:30:10,020 --> 00:30:14,252
[ Phone Ringing ]
440
00:30:14,325 --> 00:30:16,259
Hello?
441
00:30:16,327 --> 00:30:19,524
Um, hello? It's me!
442
00:30:19,597 --> 00:30:22,088
[ Laughs ]
W-Wally Cleaver.
443
00:30:22,166 --> 00:30:24,157
- Oh, hi.
- [ Purring ]
444
00:30:24,235 --> 00:30:28,069
Yeah, um, I'm just callin'
out of the blue to,
445
00:30:28,139 --> 00:30:30,073
you know, say hi.
446
00:30:30,141 --> 00:30:33,542
Well, I'm glad you did.
I'm sort of...
447
00:30:33,611 --> 00:30:38,412
having this boy-girl party on Saturday,
and I wanted to invite you.
448
00:30:38,482 --> 00:30:42,248
- Really?
- I wanted to ask you at the soda shop,
449
00:30:42,319 --> 00:30:46,278
but it was a little awkward
with that Eddie standing there.
450
00:30:46,357 --> 00:30:49,155
Yeah, I can understand that.
451
00:30:50,726 --> 00:30:52,990
Enough with the cutesy banter.
Start talkin' me up.
452
00:30:53,062 --> 00:30:57,590
- Do you wanna do this?
- No. Fine.
453
00:30:57,667 --> 00:31:01,763
You know, Eddie's not such a creep
once you get to know him.
454
00:31:01,837 --> 00:31:06,865
Oh, my God. He's standing right
next to you, isn't he?
455
00:31:06,943 --> 00:31:09,935
Yeah, that's--
that's quite true.
456
00:31:10,012 --> 00:31:13,209
I guess I can't invite you
without inviting him too.
457
00:31:13,282 --> 00:31:16,774
- That would be terrific.
- What? What-- [ Gasps ]
458
00:31:16,852 --> 00:31:19,685
Listen, Wally,
459
00:31:19,755 --> 00:31:22,690
now that you have
my number and all,
460
00:31:22,758 --> 00:31:25,693
next time you're alone,
why don't you give me a call?
461
00:31:25,761 --> 00:31:28,730
It was great talking
to you too, Karen.
462
00:31:28,798 --> 00:31:31,062
Good-bye.
463
00:31:35,171 --> 00:31:38,902
- Something on your mind, Beaver?
- Kinda.
464
00:31:38,975 --> 00:31:42,138
On TV it showed this guy
who used to play football,
465
00:31:42,211 --> 00:31:45,305
but can't anymore on account of
he got tackled so hard.
466
00:31:45,381 --> 00:31:50,080
Come on, Beav. When I was your age,
playing peewee, I took my lumps.
467
00:31:50,152 --> 00:31:52,620
Got knocked down
and I picked myself up.
468
00:31:52,688 --> 00:31:55,486
That's football.
That's a lot like life really.
469
00:31:55,558 --> 00:31:58,721
I just wanna make sure all
my body parts are workin' right.
470
00:31:58,794 --> 00:32:01,092
What are you saying?
You wanna quit the team?
471
00:32:01,163 --> 00:32:05,156
Do l? Thanks, Dad!
What a relief.
472
00:32:12,375 --> 00:32:15,003
Well, you can't.
473
00:32:15,077 --> 00:32:17,011
Why not?
474
00:32:17,079 --> 00:32:20,014
Because first it's this,
next thing you quit school.
475
00:32:20,082 --> 00:32:24,041
Then one day you quit your job,
your marriage and anything else
that gives you trouble in life.
476
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,850
- I can quit school?
- Beaver--
477
00:32:26,922 --> 00:32:30,050
You're not listening to me.
478
00:32:30,126 --> 00:32:34,256
If you really wanna make your dad proud,
then don't be a quitter.
479
00:32:34,330 --> 00:32:38,630
Okay, Dad. I'll quit
tryin' to be a quitter.
480
00:32:38,701 --> 00:32:41,295
Beaver.
481
00:32:41,370 --> 00:32:44,237
You stick with it.
Keep playin' hard.
482
00:32:44,306 --> 00:32:49,020
Who knows? One day you may be riding
a new bike around Mayfield.
483
00:32:54,025 --> 00:32:55,959
[ Growls ]
484
00:32:56,027 --> 00:32:58,621
[ Growling ]
485
00:33:04,835 --> 00:33:06,769
[ Growls ]
486
00:33:06,837 --> 00:33:08,771
[ Chattering ]
487
00:33:08,839 --> 00:33:10,773
[ Man On P.A. System ]
Welcome to Centennial Field...
488
00:33:10,841 --> 00:33:14,607
for the opening game
of Mighty Mite football.
489
00:33:14,678 --> 00:33:18,307
Thank you. Oh, boy,
you want some popcorn, huh?
490
00:33:18,382 --> 00:33:22,512
- How are sales, June?
- Good, dear! What would you like?
491
00:33:22,586 --> 00:33:26,818
[ Grunting ]
492
00:33:26,891 --> 00:33:29,325
[ Grunting ]
493
00:33:29,393 --> 00:33:31,327
[ Both Groaning ]
494
00:33:31,395 --> 00:33:35,195
[ Announcer ] Mayfield will be
kicking off to Oak Park.
495
00:33:36,667 --> 00:33:40,467
[ Coach ] Okay, everybody,
get ready for the kickoff.
496
00:33:40,538 --> 00:33:41,869
Look alive!
497
00:33:45,676 --> 00:33:48,144
[ Whistle Blows ]
498
00:33:51,182 --> 00:33:52,649
Beav! Go!
499
00:33:55,052 --> 00:33:57,520
[ Whistle Blows ]
500
00:33:58,923 --> 00:34:00,857
[ Whistle Blows ]
501
00:34:00,925 --> 00:34:04,918
Hey! Mayfield!
Don't take uh-uh!
502
00:34:04,995 --> 00:34:07,293
[ Announcer ] With 38 seconds
left in the game,
503
00:34:07,364 --> 00:34:10,629
Mayfield has a five-point lead
and the ball.
504
00:34:11,969 --> 00:34:15,063
Okay, the rules say
I gotta play everyone.
505
00:34:15,139 --> 00:34:17,801
Let's see.
506
00:34:17,875 --> 00:34:19,342
Cleaver.
507
00:34:19,410 --> 00:34:22,777
Yeah, Coach?
508
00:34:22,847 --> 00:34:27,784
Son, I want you to run
a strong right 28 "T" on go. Got it?
509
00:34:27,852 --> 00:34:30,082
Got it.
510
00:34:30,154 --> 00:34:34,386
All right, fellas! Be strong
out there! Protect that ball!
511
00:34:39,797 --> 00:34:42,664
Go tell the quarterback
the play.
512
00:34:42,733 --> 00:34:45,497
- Oh! I get it.
- [ Chuckles ]
513
00:34:45,569 --> 00:34:46,934
Go, Beaver!
514
00:34:47,004 --> 00:34:51,998
Strong right 28 "T" on go.
Strong right 28 "T" on go.
515
00:34:52,076 --> 00:34:55,807
So, what's the play?
516
00:34:56,881 --> 00:35:00,442
- Well?
- Uh, I'll be right back.
517
00:35:00,518 --> 00:35:05,046
[ Announcer ] Seems to be a little
confusion at the Mayfield huddle.
518
00:35:07,491 --> 00:35:10,221
- Go, Beaver!
- Go, Beaver!
519
00:35:10,294 --> 00:35:13,695
- Yeah!
- Break!
520
00:35:13,764 --> 00:35:17,860
[ Man ] Move it, boys!
Move it!
521
00:35:19,303 --> 00:35:20,930
Down!
522
00:35:26,277 --> 00:35:29,212
Set! Go!
523
00:35:30,614 --> 00:35:31,911
Yeah!
524
00:35:32,950 --> 00:35:35,544
Whoa!
525
00:35:40,191 --> 00:35:43,160
[ Grunts ]
526
00:35:43,227 --> 00:35:45,252
- Go!
- Yes!
527
00:35:46,497 --> 00:35:49,432
- Yes!
- [ Growling ]
528
00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:52,060
- Beaver, throw me the ball.
- No!
529
00:35:53,037 --> 00:35:54,265
No!
530
00:35:57,074 --> 00:35:59,269
- What?
- [ Spectators Gasping ]
531
00:36:00,744 --> 00:36:04,236
- [ Whimpers ]
- [ Spectators Shouting ]
532
00:36:08,352 --> 00:36:10,286
[ Whistle Blowing ]
533
00:36:10,354 --> 00:36:14,791
[ Announcer ]
Unbelievable! Oak Park wins!
534
00:36:30,808 --> 00:36:35,643
Hey, Beav, how could you throw the ball
to an Oak Park guy?
535
00:36:35,713 --> 00:36:40,150
That was George Tibbles. At camp
we were on the same team in Color War.
536
00:36:40,217 --> 00:36:45,211
Maybe if you started crying,
people would feel sorry for ya.
537
00:37:18,088 --> 00:37:21,649
Don't worry about it, Beav.
You'll get 'em next time.
538
00:37:21,725 --> 00:37:26,219
In fact, I'm looking
forward to it.
539
00:37:26,297 --> 00:37:29,164
Thanks a lot, Eddie.
540
00:37:29,233 --> 00:37:33,602
I am very pleased with the results
of the astronomy test.
541
00:37:33,671 --> 00:37:37,232
Although, there's still
some confusion about Pluto.
542
00:37:37,308 --> 00:37:41,074
While its planetary classification
is still uncertain,
543
00:37:41,145 --> 00:37:43,739
it is definitely
not Mickey's dog.
544
00:37:43,814 --> 00:37:45,076
Rats.
545
00:37:46,483 --> 00:37:50,044
Wow, Beaver, you really
pulled up your grade.
546
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,520
- You got a "C"!
- I did?
547
00:37:52,589 --> 00:37:56,184
Yeah, a "See me after class."
[ Laughs ]
548
00:37:56,260 --> 00:37:59,024
- [ Bell Rings ]
- [ Gasps ]
549
00:37:59,096 --> 00:38:02,395
[ Screaming ]
550
00:38:02,466 --> 00:38:07,426
Okay. Good-bye, Judy.
Thank you, Judy. Bye-bye.
551
00:38:07,504 --> 00:38:12,737
Theodore, I thought it might be better
if we had a chance to talk in private.
552
00:38:12,810 --> 00:38:16,143
I want you to understand
this is not a punishment.
553
00:38:16,213 --> 00:38:18,807
Don't worry. I know what you look like
when you get mad.
554
00:38:18,882 --> 00:38:22,443
I was there the time you caught
Larry going through your purse.
555
00:38:22,519 --> 00:38:25,511
Theodore,
556
00:38:25,589 --> 00:38:30,720
did you have a chance
to study for this test?
557
00:38:30,794 --> 00:38:35,424
I worked real hard, Miss Landers.
I studied till my head hurt.
558
00:38:35,499 --> 00:38:38,161
I guess I just
didn't get any of it.
559
00:38:38,235 --> 00:38:41,636
- I'd really hate to see ya fall behind.
- Yeah, me too.
560
00:38:41,705 --> 00:38:46,108
Nobody likes being the guy who makes you
listen to the same junk over and over...
561
00:38:46,176 --> 00:38:49,441
that you got bored
listening to in the first place.
562
00:38:49,513 --> 00:38:52,073
I'm sure that's
a terrible feeling.
563
00:38:52,149 --> 00:38:56,108
Would it help if you and I reviewed this
material after school for a few days?
564
00:38:56,186 --> 00:39:00,122
[ Whistle Blowing,
Boys Shouting ]
565
00:39:00,190 --> 00:39:02,886
[ Coach ]
Let's go! What are ya doin'?
566
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:06,987
You mean you'd be willing to help me
after school more than just today?
567
00:39:07,064 --> 00:39:08,827
If you needed to.
568
00:39:08,899 --> 00:39:14,462
If I was real dumb, could we meet every
Tuesday and Thursday until about 4:30?
569
00:39:14,538 --> 00:39:17,268
And maybe even
some Saturdays too?
570
00:39:19,610 --> 00:39:22,170
[ Door Slams ]
571
00:39:22,246 --> 00:39:26,012
It is the mental errors
that will cause a team to lose.
572
00:39:26,083 --> 00:39:31,214
- I don't wanna name any names--
- Go ahead and say his name
all you want.
573
00:39:31,288 --> 00:39:35,281
Beaver's not here. He's falling behind,
and he's gotta stay after school.
574
00:39:35,359 --> 00:39:39,056
Oh. He will be missed.
575
00:39:39,129 --> 00:39:41,063
[ Dog Barking ]
576
00:39:51,842 --> 00:39:54,572
[ Bicycle Approaching ]
577
00:39:54,645 --> 00:39:56,738
[ Tires Skidding ]
578
00:39:57,881 --> 00:40:01,476
[ Chuckling ]
579
00:40:01,552 --> 00:40:03,577
[ Whirring ]
580
00:40:03,654 --> 00:40:07,556
[ Humming ]
581
00:40:07,624 --> 00:40:10,923
- Hi!
- You're home early.
582
00:40:18,836 --> 00:40:20,827
- June.
- [ Vacuum Off ]
583
00:40:20,904 --> 00:40:24,863
You're vacuuming in pearls.
You know what that does to me.
584
00:40:24,942 --> 00:40:27,502
Hmm. Stick around.
585
00:40:27,578 --> 00:40:30,513
Later I'll slip into
a pair of oven mitts.
586
00:40:31,682 --> 00:40:33,843
Oh!
587
00:40:35,853 --> 00:40:38,845
Geez! Why don't
you two get a room?
588
00:40:38,922 --> 00:40:41,755
- [ Laughs ] Wally.
- Oh.
589
00:40:42,860 --> 00:40:46,091
- [ Chuckles ]
- [ Chuckles ]
590
00:40:46,163 --> 00:40:48,791
Oh, hi.
I'm just getting home.
591
00:40:48,866 --> 00:40:53,963
- How was practice today?
- Uh, about the same as always, I guess.
592
00:40:54,037 --> 00:40:56,369
I want to talk to you
about your game on Saturday.
593
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,068
You do?
[ Gulps ]
594
00:40:59,142 --> 00:41:02,543
I'm sorry I can't be there.
I have to go out of town on business.
595
00:41:02,613 --> 00:41:05,138
Oh!
596
00:41:05,215 --> 00:41:07,547
I'll be there the following
Saturday for sure.
597
00:41:07,618 --> 00:41:09,415
You will?
598
00:41:09,486 --> 00:41:12,580
But, Dad, you promised you were
comin' to my game that day.
599
00:41:12,656 --> 00:41:14,590
I did?
600
00:41:14,658 --> 00:41:17,752
Now, boys, your father
can't be two places at once.
601
00:41:17,828 --> 00:41:20,388
You go ahead
and see Wally play, Dad.
602
00:41:20,464 --> 00:41:23,490
He's older than I am, so he's got
a lot less games left in him.
603
00:41:23,567 --> 00:41:26,161
That's very considerate
of you, Beaver.
604
00:41:26,236 --> 00:41:30,730
Yeah, I'm real 'siderate. That's what
it said on my second grade report card.
605
00:41:30,807 --> 00:41:33,275
Come on, my little
football star.
606
00:41:33,343 --> 00:41:35,402
Why don't you go upstairs
and get cleaned up for dinner?
607
00:41:35,479 --> 00:41:37,413
Okay, Mom.
608
00:41:41,051 --> 00:41:44,782
- Hello, Mr. Haskell.
- Hey, Wally.
609
00:41:44,855 --> 00:41:49,121
Oh, I guess nobody skimped
on the aftershave. [ Laughs ]
610
00:41:54,565 --> 00:42:00,094
So, your first boy-girl party.
[ Laughs ]
611
00:42:00,170 --> 00:42:04,300
Let me take this opportunity
to impart upon you a little wisdom...
612
00:42:04,374 --> 00:42:06,968
culled from years of
experience in the field.
613
00:42:07,044 --> 00:42:10,070
That's very generous
of you, Dad.
614
00:42:10,147 --> 00:42:14,015
Boys, women are all
a bunch of bloodsuckers,
615
00:42:14,084 --> 00:42:16,814
out to get ya
any way they can.
616
00:42:16,887 --> 00:42:20,687
When they finally succeed
in breaking your spirit,
617
00:42:20,757 --> 00:42:24,124
they'll flush you
like a dead goldfish.
618
00:42:30,567 --> 00:42:34,750
Now, you boys be on your way
and have a great time.
619
00:42:34,750 --> 00:42:36,809
There was a time my brothers
didn't want me tagging around with them.
620
00:42:36,818 --> 00:42:40,117
- Did it bum you out?
- Not really. I'd tag along anyway.
621
00:42:40,188 --> 00:42:43,555
They'd go to the drive-in with their
girlfriends. I'd sit in the backseat--
622
00:42:43,625 --> 00:42:45,024
- Ward.
- Shh.
623
00:42:45,093 --> 00:42:46,856
- Ward?
- Oh, yeah.
624
00:42:46,928 --> 00:42:49,954
We didn't ask if Karen's party
was gonna be chaperoned.
625
00:42:50,031 --> 00:42:54,024
June, please, they're
12-year-old boys. Come on.
626
00:42:54,102 --> 00:42:56,593
Underneath all that
preening and strutting,
627
00:42:56,671 --> 00:43:00,402
they live in wide-eyed fear
of the opposite sex.
628
00:43:05,914 --> 00:43:07,074
No.
629
00:43:14,756 --> 00:43:17,589
Ewww!
630
00:43:19,227 --> 00:43:21,252
I'll be waiting
in the laundry room...
631
00:43:21,329 --> 00:43:23,763
while you two budding
beauties fight it out.
632
00:43:23,832 --> 00:43:26,824
[ Together ]
Ewww!
633
00:43:28,203 --> 00:43:31,969
So, Tammy, you won, huh?
634
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:36,943
No, I lost.
Let's just get this over with.
635
00:43:42,350 --> 00:43:44,818
Wow! All new
copper plumbing.
636
00:43:44,886 --> 00:43:47,514
Must have set Karen's
old man back a pretty penny.
637
00:43:47,589 --> 00:43:49,523
Do you not want to do this?
638
00:43:49,591 --> 00:43:53,823
- Don't you?
- Sort of, but not with you.
639
00:43:53,895 --> 00:43:56,386
I can appreciate that.
640
00:43:58,567 --> 00:44:03,368
- Whoo!
- All right! All right!
641
00:44:05,941 --> 00:44:08,034
[ Girl ]
How was it?
642
00:44:08,109 --> 00:44:11,545
- So, did you?
- Do you even have to ask?
643
00:44:11,613 --> 00:44:13,740
- Wow.
- [ Girl ] Wally's up.
644
00:44:13,815 --> 00:44:16,750
- Come on, Wally. Yeah.
- Hey, come on, Wally.
645
00:44:16,818 --> 00:44:18,752
[ Girl ]
Wally, Wally.
646
00:44:58,493 --> 00:45:00,461
You want the lights
on or off?
647
00:45:00,528 --> 00:45:03,463
I think maybe off is better.
648
00:45:17,479 --> 00:45:20,573
- This is pretty awkward, huh?
- Yeah.
649
00:45:22,317 --> 00:45:27,653
But if I have to do this with someone,
I'm glad it's someone I really like.
650
00:45:27,722 --> 00:45:30,555
Really?
651
00:45:30,625 --> 00:45:32,991
You couldn't tell?
652
00:45:33,061 --> 00:45:36,963
I was really trying
not to notice...
653
00:45:37,032 --> 00:45:39,398
because of Eddie and all.
654
00:45:39,467 --> 00:45:41,935
You're a good friend, Wally.
655
00:45:42,003 --> 00:45:46,463
But I don't think you two
will ever be this close.
656
00:46:08,863 --> 00:46:11,923
- Hi, Miss Drucker!
- Hi, Miss Drucker!
657
00:46:18,139 --> 00:46:22,667
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Barking ]
658
00:46:24,746 --> 00:46:26,839
[ Laughing ]
Sorry.
659
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:34,454
[ Shrieking ]
660
00:46:35,557 --> 00:46:37,684
- [ Camera Clicks ]
- [ Laughing ]
661
00:46:41,730 --> 00:46:44,722
[ Quacking ]
662
00:46:56,778 --> 00:46:58,973
[ Together ]
Ewww!
663
00:47:01,583 --> 00:47:04,017
Well, maybe it's like
when you get a new toy,
664
00:47:04,085 --> 00:47:06,485
and after a few days
you get sick of playin' with it.
665
00:47:06,554 --> 00:47:09,819
Looks like he's havin' more fun with her
than I ever did with a Slinky.
666
00:47:09,891 --> 00:47:14,260
- I'm gonna miss Wally.
- He's still my brother.
667
00:47:14,329 --> 00:47:17,264
Beav, the friend or brother
you once knew is dead.
668
00:47:17,332 --> 00:47:19,698
No, Wally's different.
669
00:47:19,768 --> 00:47:23,829
Hey, my brother and I were pretty tight
too, then he got a girlfriend.
670
00:47:23,905 --> 00:47:25,896
Now all we ever do is fight.
671
00:47:25,974 --> 00:47:30,468
- Really?
- Every time she gets mad
at him, I get my butt kicked.
672
00:47:30,545 --> 00:47:35,414
- Don't worry, Beav. You still got us.
- Yeah.
673
00:47:35,483 --> 00:47:37,678
- Let's go.
- [ Grunts ]
674
00:47:37,752 --> 00:47:42,018
I used to want to stay a kid
my whole life.
675
00:47:42,090 --> 00:47:44,558
But lately, I just
want to get it over with.
676
00:47:47,580 --> 00:47:51,016
[ Landers ]
Theodore is my best helper.
677
00:47:51,016 --> 00:47:54,281
His lima bean has grown
faster than anyone else's.
678
00:47:54,353 --> 00:47:57,220
But there's a problem,
isn't there, Miss Landers?
679
00:47:57,289 --> 00:48:02,886
Why don't we take a look
at Theodore's "Me" book?
680
00:48:02,962 --> 00:48:05,021
- Oh, it's great.
- Oh! [ Laughs ]
681
00:48:05,097 --> 00:48:07,998
- His bike.
- Bike.
682
00:48:08,067 --> 00:48:11,901
He did a lovely job with
the bay windows in the front.
683
00:48:11,971 --> 00:48:16,101
At this age, we're looking
for more detail in the drawings.
684
00:48:16,175 --> 00:48:19,838
For example, clothes.
685
00:48:19,912 --> 00:48:22,142
Fingers. Feet?
686
00:48:22,214 --> 00:48:26,617
I hardly think a few missing fingers
is anything to be alarmed over.
687
00:48:26,685 --> 00:48:30,246
Here in class Theodore is having
a lot of trouble keeping up.
688
00:48:30,322 --> 00:48:33,621
I think his self-image
is really suffering as a result.
689
00:48:33,692 --> 00:48:37,253
I took the liberty of discussing this
matter with our principal, Mrs. Rayburn.
690
00:48:37,329 --> 00:48:42,289
She would like a meeting between your
family and our district psychologist.
691
00:48:46,071 --> 00:48:47,936
- Ward?
- Hmm?
692
00:48:48,007 --> 00:48:50,976
I'm worried
about the Beaver.
693
00:48:59,785 --> 00:49:03,721
So, Theodore, why don't you tell
me a little about yourself?
694
00:49:03,789 --> 00:49:06,815
Well, I'm four foot, three.
695
00:49:06,892 --> 00:49:10,191
I go to school, and I got
some European in my blood.
696
00:49:10,262 --> 00:49:13,993
That's very nice.
Do you enjoy school?
697
00:49:14,066 --> 00:49:16,660
Oh, yes, excepting
for "noman ruminals."
698
00:49:16,735 --> 00:49:19,101
That's a tough one,
all right.
699
00:49:19,171 --> 00:49:21,662
So, what do you
like to do for fun?
700
00:49:21,740 --> 00:49:27,508
I'm a normal kid. I like to do normal
junk just like normal regular kids do.
701
00:49:27,579 --> 00:49:29,979
The Beaver has always shown
a real interest in science.
702
00:49:30,049 --> 00:49:32,711
He's very close
with his brother.
703
00:49:32,785 --> 00:49:35,720
And he plays football
for the Mayfield Mighty Mites.
704
00:49:35,788 --> 00:49:39,417
I didn't know they played
football at that age.
705
00:49:39,491 --> 00:49:43,086
You're never too young to play
a sport that teaches you...
706
00:49:43,162 --> 00:49:45,562
self-confidence,
coordination, discipline.
707
00:49:45,631 --> 00:49:49,431
- Were you a football player, Ward?
- I played some sandlot.
708
00:49:49,501 --> 00:49:51,833
- Interesting.
- [ Ward ] Oh!
709
00:49:51,904 --> 00:49:56,637
Wait a minute. I know what you're doing.
I can assure you you're wrong.
710
00:49:56,709 --> 00:50:00,338
- Wrong about what?
- I'm not one of those fathers.
711
00:50:00,412 --> 00:50:03,939
- What do you mean?
- One of those fathers
who push their kids...
712
00:50:04,016 --> 00:50:07,179
to try to fill the gaps
in their own lives.
713
00:50:07,252 --> 00:50:10,915
No, no.
June, back me up here.
714
00:50:10,989 --> 00:50:15,119
I've always felt that eight was a little
young to be playing such a violent game.
715
00:50:15,194 --> 00:50:16,923
Oh, really?
716
00:50:16,995 --> 00:50:20,260
I do not think this is the time
or place to have this discussion.
717
00:50:20,332 --> 00:50:26,237
Oh, I think learning to have discussions
is exactly why we're here.
718
00:50:26,305 --> 00:50:29,797
No. What you really want
to do is gang up on me...
719
00:50:29,875 --> 00:50:32,173
for pushing my kids
into sports.
720
00:50:32,244 --> 00:50:37,705
Let me remind you that Wally started
playing football the same age as Beaver.
721
00:50:37,783 --> 00:50:42,516
Last year he was M.V.P., an honor
student, president of his class.
722
00:50:42,588 --> 00:50:48,493
I don't know many boys his age who can
whip up a better Spanish omelet, right?
723
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:53,054
No. I'm not
who you think I am.
724
00:50:53,132 --> 00:50:55,430
I'm a terrible person.
725
00:50:55,501 --> 00:50:58,026
My best friend just wanted to know
what she thought of him,
726
00:50:58,103 --> 00:51:02,130
and the next thing I knew
we were in her laundry room,
727
00:51:02,207 --> 00:51:05,472
- makin' out.
- Making?
728
00:51:05,544 --> 00:51:09,674
I can't eat. I can't sleep.
My whole body feels heavy.
729
00:51:12,317 --> 00:51:17,311
I can't go on like this any longer,
but I won't give her up!
730
00:51:17,389 --> 00:51:19,755
I won't!
731
00:51:19,825 --> 00:51:22,350
Please, continue.
732
00:51:22,427 --> 00:51:25,453
[ Clicks, Whirs ]
733
00:51:38,110 --> 00:51:40,943
[ Ringing ]
734
00:51:42,681 --> 00:51:44,774
I'm sorry, Eddie. I don't believe Wally
is expecting you--
735
00:51:44,850 --> 00:51:47,045
Don't think you need to create a
smoke screen for your son, Mr. Cleaver.
736
00:51:47,119 --> 00:51:50,054
Wallace and I have discussed
his relationship with Karen...
737
00:51:50,122 --> 00:51:53,319
and ultimately we feel our friendship
is strong enough...
738
00:51:53,392 --> 00:51:56,361
to survive some
schoolboy dalliance.
739
00:51:56,428 --> 00:52:01,866
Oh, hello, Eddie.
Beaver's upstairs in his room.
740
00:52:01,934 --> 00:52:05,370
- What? You're here to see Beaver?
- Yes.
741
00:52:05,437 --> 00:52:07,530
We're having
a little PJ party.
742
00:52:07,606 --> 00:52:10,541
Now that Wallace doesn't have as much
time as he used to for young Theodore,
743
00:52:10,609 --> 00:52:14,511
I have taken it upon myself
to slip in and fill that void.
744
00:52:16,882 --> 00:52:20,409
Well, I'm gonna sleep
a lot better knowing that.
745
00:52:23,322 --> 00:52:28,350
Oh, hi, Eddie. I got a model.
I rented a video.
746
00:52:28,427 --> 00:52:32,193
And look at these. I got
about a thousand pennies we can wrap up.
747
00:52:32,264 --> 00:52:34,289
Let's get something
straight, Beavis.
748
00:52:34,366 --> 00:52:36,857
I didn't come here to have a good time.
I'm just using you.
749
00:52:36,935 --> 00:52:38,766
Oh.
750
00:52:38,837 --> 00:52:43,536
Wallace, what's the occasion?
Job interview?
751
00:52:43,609 --> 00:52:46,908
Cut it out, Eddie. You know I'm taking
Karen skating tonight.
752
00:52:46,979 --> 00:52:49,277
Oh, sure, throw it in my face.
753
00:52:49,348 --> 00:52:53,409
You're out having a Ice Capade
with my babe, while I watch
Balto with the Beaver.
754
00:52:53,485 --> 00:52:56,010
So we are going
to watch the movie?
755
00:52:56,088 --> 00:52:58,955
- Shut up.
- Eddie, what did you come over for?
756
00:52:59,024 --> 00:53:03,120
-To see how miserable you could make me?
-Pretty much.
757
00:53:03,195 --> 00:53:07,188
Well, I got news for you. Karen was
never interested in you at all.
758
00:53:07,266 --> 00:53:09,666
Then why'd she invite me
to her party?
759
00:53:09,735 --> 00:53:15,105
I made sure she invited you,
because I felt sorry for you.
760
00:53:15,173 --> 00:53:20,406
So, in other words,
you're a backstabber and a liar.
761
00:53:20,479 --> 00:53:23,073
All right. That's it, Haskell.
Let's do it right now!
762
00:53:23,148 --> 00:53:27,448
You know, he just hasn't been the same
since the growth spurt.
763
00:53:27,519 --> 00:53:32,786
Come, Theodore. Last time I was here l
hid pudding pops in back of the freezer.
764
00:53:32,858 --> 00:53:34,655
Hmph!
765
00:53:36,461 --> 00:53:39,396
Boy, Wally, I never knew
you were such a crummy guy.
766
00:53:42,501 --> 00:53:44,435
- Me first!
- I'll race ya!
767
00:53:44,503 --> 00:53:46,767
- All right! Come on!
- Come on!
768
00:53:55,013 --> 00:53:56,947
[ Laughing ]
Come on.
769
00:53:57,015 --> 00:54:01,452
Karen, I-I was thinking...
770
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:04,978
-that maybe if tonight went real well...
-[ Boy ] Karen!
771
00:54:05,057 --> 00:54:06,854
- that--
- Kyle!
772
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:11,058
- [ Gasps ]
- [ Laughs ]
773
00:54:11,129 --> 00:54:14,860
- Hey.
- I thought you, like, moved?
774
00:54:14,933 --> 00:54:17,959
My mom booked, so now we're
living with my dad's parents.
775
00:54:18,036 --> 00:54:22,370
- It sucks, but I'm never home anyway.
- Yeah.
776
00:54:24,009 --> 00:54:26,739
Oh, this is my--
777
00:54:26,812 --> 00:54:29,178
Uh, this is Wally.
778
00:54:30,582 --> 00:54:33,813
- Cool sweater.
- Nice earring.
779
00:54:33,885 --> 00:54:38,083
Kyle and I grew up
across the street from each other.
780
00:54:38,156 --> 00:54:43,321
- We used to, like, take baths together.
- Ha, ha.
781
00:54:43,395 --> 00:54:46,387
Ha, ha. Ha.
782
00:54:46,465 --> 00:54:49,923
- [ Keyboard Keys Clicking ]
- Hey, Eddie, did you know there was...
783
00:54:50,002 --> 00:54:54,598
a real dog named Balto,
and he cured diphtheria?
784
00:54:54,673 --> 00:54:56,607
Well, I'll be.
785
00:54:56,675 --> 00:55:02,238
Your old man's always cryin' poverty,
but he's sittin' on a sweet nest egg.
786
00:55:02,314 --> 00:55:05,340
Are you supposed to be
looking at all that stuff?
787
00:55:05,417 --> 00:55:09,080
What's with you? Don't you like
doin' things you're not supposed to?
788
00:55:09,154 --> 00:55:11,748
I would if I could
get away with 'em,
789
00:55:11,823 --> 00:55:14,485
but I'm just not
as good at it as you are.
790
00:55:14,559 --> 00:55:17,551
[ Clicks, Tone Strikes ]
791
00:55:17,629 --> 00:55:21,588
It's a good thing you found out
what a rat your brother is now,
792
00:55:21,666 --> 00:55:24,157
instead of waitin' for when they're
carvin' up your old man's estate.
793
00:55:24,236 --> 00:55:26,170
Yeah, I've been real
'spicious of him...
794
00:55:26,238 --> 00:55:29,696
since that time at the Twin Pools when
he held me underwater.
795
00:55:29,775 --> 00:55:33,176
I'm tellin' ya,
ya just can't trust the guy.
796
00:55:33,245 --> 00:55:37,682
I think we should sneak off to the
skating rink, spy on the little gigolo.
797
00:55:37,749 --> 00:55:41,549
I don't think my parents
would like that.
798
00:55:44,389 --> 00:55:48,382
What to do.
What to do.
799
00:55:50,262 --> 00:55:55,700
Mom! Dad! Can we
camp out in the backyard?
800
00:55:55,767 --> 00:56:00,431
Far be it from me to inhibit
the boy's sense of adventure.
801
00:56:00,505 --> 00:56:04,339
[ Eddie ] "...in the living room, while
my parents either read or play Scrabble.
802
00:56:04,409 --> 00:56:09,142
Come time to go to bed, it took several
times to get the Nintendo shut off."
803
00:56:09,214 --> 00:56:15,119
I'm not so sure I like Eddie
being so nice to the Beaver.
804
00:56:15,187 --> 00:56:19,487
Oh, now, Ward, if you gave the boy half
a chance, he might just surprise you.
805
00:56:19,558 --> 00:56:24,325
Maybe so, but there's
something about him I just don't trust.
806
00:56:24,396 --> 00:56:26,489
[ Eddie ]
"He said I was crazy.
807
00:56:26,565 --> 00:56:28,556
[ Eddie Continues,
indistinct ]
808
00:56:28,633 --> 00:56:33,161
"Well, something about that TV
must have been bothering me.
809
00:56:33,238 --> 00:56:35,798
"Because I just laid awake
in bed staring at the ceiling.
810
00:56:35,874 --> 00:56:38,980
The more I tried not to feel
scared, the scareder I became."
811
00:56:38,980 --> 00:56:42,575
[ Chattering ]
812
00:56:47,888 --> 00:56:50,652
[ Beaver ]
There's Karen.
813
00:56:50,725 --> 00:56:53,319
But where's Wally?
814
00:57:04,238 --> 00:57:06,536
There he is,
pickin' up splinters.
815
00:57:10,745 --> 00:57:13,236
Hey, babe, let me
go grab my stuff,
816
00:57:13,314 --> 00:57:16,408
then we can blow
outta here.
817
00:57:16,484 --> 00:57:20,045
- Thanks for the fizz, bud.
- Anytime.
818
00:57:28,396 --> 00:57:33,333
Listen, Wally,
I hope you don't mind?
819
00:57:33,401 --> 00:57:37,531
Kyle's really upset.
He really needs someone to talk to.
820
00:57:39,473 --> 00:57:42,909
Are you mad at me?
821
00:57:42,977 --> 00:57:47,277
No. I mean, it's obvious
the guy's got a lot of problems.
822
00:57:47,348 --> 00:57:51,876
Thanks. You're
such a nice guy.
823
00:57:51,952 --> 00:57:54,352
[ Kissing Sound ]
824
00:57:55,423 --> 00:57:58,017
I wish people
would quit saying that.
825
00:58:10,104 --> 00:58:12,436
She dumped him.
826
00:58:12,506 --> 00:58:16,306
Once again, fate has
dealt me a winning hand.
827
00:58:16,377 --> 00:58:21,713
If Wally hadn't have stole Karen
from you, you'd be the one down there...
828
00:58:21,782 --> 00:58:25,445
Lookin' like you're about ready
to cry in front of the whole world.
829
00:58:25,519 --> 00:58:29,478
So, in a way, it's kind of
like Wally did you a favor.
830
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:39,111
So then at the ice skating rink, right?
I'm skating, and I'm--
831
00:58:39,149 --> 00:58:42,016
- Hey, dude!
- Hey, Kyle!
832
00:58:42,086 --> 00:58:46,352
- Dig the ride.
- Thanks. Stole it from some kid.
833
00:58:46,423 --> 00:58:48,618
So, uh, who's the Betty?
834
00:58:49,927 --> 00:58:52,828
Uh, just some chick.
I stole her from some guy.
835
00:58:52,897 --> 00:58:56,389
Oh! See ya later.
836
00:58:56,467 --> 00:59:00,198
See ya, man.
Hey, Karen. Pizza?
837
00:59:11,315 --> 00:59:14,341
So, back to the story
about the ice skating rink--
838
00:59:21,325 --> 00:59:25,352
- Hey, Romeo.
- What are you guys doin' here?
839
00:59:25,429 --> 00:59:28,887
Just educating young Theodore
on the perils of teen dating.
840
00:59:28,966 --> 00:59:32,402
Wait. Were you guys
at the rink?
841
00:59:32,469 --> 00:59:36,667
[ Beaver ] But don't worry, Wally.
We still love you.
842
00:59:36,740 --> 00:59:39,937
Hey, look, my bike!
843
00:59:40,010 --> 00:59:42,069
Come back here!
Give me back my bike!
844
00:59:42,146 --> 00:59:47,345
[ Wally ] Come on! Come on!
Stop, you thief!
845
00:59:47,418 --> 00:59:50,080
Let's get him!
846
00:59:52,489 --> 00:59:54,423
[ Wally ]
Hurry up!
847
00:59:54,491 --> 00:59:57,085
Where'd he go? There he is.
Get back here!
848
00:59:57,161 --> 00:59:59,391
- Hmm?
- [ Beaver ] Hey, you, come back here!
849
01:00:01,832 --> 01:00:06,895
- Fish!
- Whoa!
- Ewww!
850
01:00:13,844 --> 01:00:16,711
Adios, amigos!
851
01:00:19,483 --> 01:00:22,316
Good evening,
Mrs. Hensler.
852
01:00:22,386 --> 01:00:25,617
And what a fine automobile
you're driving tonight.
853
01:00:25,689 --> 01:00:30,126
- What are you boys doing here?
- Well, Wallace, um,
854
01:00:30,194 --> 01:00:34,324
Theodore and myself just got
a sudden craving for sushi.
855
01:00:34,398 --> 01:00:36,559
Ha!
856
01:00:40,704 --> 01:00:43,002
Hey, that was
Mrs. Hensler.
857
01:00:43,073 --> 01:00:45,234
[ Wally ]
Big mouth.
858
01:00:45,309 --> 01:00:47,436
[ Together ]
Dad! We gotta get home!
859
01:00:47,511 --> 01:00:50,378
[ Phone Ringing ]
860
01:00:50,447 --> 01:00:53,939
- Hello?
- Ward, Claire Hensler.
861
01:00:54,018 --> 01:00:57,920
Isn't it a little late
for Beaver to be vandalizing a
fish market on a school night?
862
01:00:57,988 --> 01:01:01,048
Beaver's not vandalizing a
fish market on a school night.
863
01:01:01,125 --> 01:01:04,617
He's safely tucked away in a tent in our
backyard, listening to scary stories.
864
01:01:04,695 --> 01:01:06,629
What a relief.
865
01:01:06,697 --> 01:01:09,928
What I must have seen was only the clone
of young Theodore covered in mackerel.
866
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:14,596
Despite what you may think,
I know my boys better than you do.
867
01:01:14,671 --> 01:01:17,606
- [ Phone Slams, Dial Tone Hums ]
- [ Chuckles ]
868
01:01:19,376 --> 01:01:22,209
Beav, stay back.
You smell rank!
869
01:01:27,418 --> 01:01:32,355
- [ Thudding ]
- Eddie.
870
01:01:32,423 --> 01:01:35,881
[ Eddie ] "My mouth got dry,
and my heart started thumping so hard.
871
01:01:35,959 --> 01:01:38,553
I thought it was going to
come clear out of my chest."
872
01:01:42,966 --> 01:01:45,696
[ Whistling ]
873
01:01:52,276 --> 01:01:55,074
- Oh!
- [ Tires Screeching ]
874
01:01:57,548 --> 01:02:01,006
- Sorry again, mister!
- [ Sighs ]
875
01:02:01,085 --> 01:02:03,485
[ Grunts ]
876
01:02:04,822 --> 01:02:06,756
Ick!
877
01:02:06,824 --> 01:02:08,382
[ Eddie ]
"...downstairs.
878
01:02:08,459 --> 01:02:11,292
"l walked into the living room
and checked out the TV.
879
01:02:11,361 --> 01:02:14,524
"It was real warm, as if someone
had just been watching it.
880
01:02:14,598 --> 01:02:16,532
"Then out of nowhere,
it pops on...
881
01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:21,230
"and begins to play that same weird
Nintendo game I saw earlier.
882
01:02:21,305 --> 01:02:23,432
"Well, I almost
jumped out of my skin.
883
01:02:23,507 --> 01:02:25,532
"To make matters worse,
the piano...
884
01:02:25,609 --> 01:02:28,203
"begins to sound off
with a strange little song.
885
01:02:28,278 --> 01:02:30,610
I turned back
to stare at the cat--"
886
01:02:32,149 --> 01:02:35,676
- W-Wally?
- Shh. This is the good part.
887
01:02:35,752 --> 01:02:38,687
All right.
Good night, boys.
888
01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:44,284
[ Sniffs ] Anyone ever hear
the word bath?
889
01:02:44,361 --> 01:02:47,558
"Pepper is strutting
across the keys.
890
01:02:47,631 --> 01:02:50,429
His tail straight up
behind him."
891
01:02:50,501 --> 01:02:54,801
Scary stories just aren't as scary
when you don't have a bike anymore.
892
01:02:54,872 --> 01:02:59,605
Yeah, they're not that great when
you don't have a girl anymore either.
893
01:02:59,676 --> 01:03:03,612
Maybe I should get something stolen
from me so I can join you two mopesters.
894
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:05,807
You better help us
get that bike!
895
01:03:05,883 --> 01:03:08,113
[ Bell Ringing ]
896
01:03:08,185 --> 01:03:10,676
Okay, good work, everybody.
897
01:03:10,754 --> 01:03:14,212
Don't forget.
We have a spelling pretest tomorrow.
898
01:03:14,291 --> 01:03:19,456
Wanna come over to my house and watch my
sister making out with her boyfriend?
899
01:03:19,530 --> 01:03:24,297
I can't. I got
"football" practice.
900
01:03:24,368 --> 01:03:27,735
Oh, right. Gotcha.
901
01:03:29,573 --> 01:03:34,738
I've been having a hard time
keeping up with the math stuff again.
902
01:03:34,811 --> 01:03:37,279
Maybe we should
go over it some more.
903
01:03:37,347 --> 01:03:40,111
I'm sorry. I won't be
able to help you today.
904
01:03:40,184 --> 01:03:43,449
I have a teacher's conference,
but maybe Judy could help you.
905
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:46,080
Certainly, Miss Landers!
906
01:03:46,156 --> 01:03:49,523
I sure would hate to see
Beaver get left behind.
907
01:03:49,593 --> 01:03:55,498
Thank you, Judy. I'm sure
Theodore will be in very good hands.
908
01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:59,267
[ Drum roll ]
909
01:03:59,336 --> 01:04:01,531
All right!
Sit down and shut up!
910
01:04:01,605 --> 01:04:04,540
You're gonna learn this stuff
if I have to shove it down your throat!
911
01:04:06,009 --> 01:04:11,379
And where do you think
you're going, Beaver Cleaver!
912
01:04:11,448 --> 01:04:16,249
Thanks anyway, Judy, but I'd rather go
through third grade a hundred times...
913
01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:18,788
than listen to your ugly voice
for one minute.
914
01:04:35,806 --> 01:04:38,741
- Gee, Larry, take a breath.
- [ Chattering ]
915
01:04:38,809 --> 01:04:40,674
Hello, Beaver.
916
01:04:42,112 --> 01:04:44,410
Oh. Hi, Karen.
917
01:04:44,481 --> 01:04:46,642
Go ahead. Ask him.
918
01:04:46,717 --> 01:04:48,514
[ Karen ]
Uh--
919
01:04:48,585 --> 01:04:53,249
Beaver, so, how's
Wally been doing?
920
01:04:53,323 --> 01:04:55,723
He's been kind of crummy.
921
01:04:55,792 --> 01:04:58,056
Why has he been so crummy?
922
01:04:58,128 --> 01:05:02,656
Lately he's had the same look
on his face the Hunchback did...
923
01:05:02,733 --> 01:05:05,725
when Esmeralda ran off
with the good-looking guy.
924
01:05:05,802 --> 01:05:07,770
Bye, Beaver.
925
01:05:10,741 --> 01:05:15,701
Hey, we got an hour and a half
to kill till practice is over.
Wanna go to the library?
926
01:05:15,779 --> 01:05:19,738
Okay. We can look at
that National Geographic...
927
01:05:19,816 --> 01:05:21,750
with the native girls
of Chiluaga.
928
01:05:21,818 --> 01:05:25,345
- Yeah.
- Hey, Beav, you gonna eat that?
929
01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:27,356
Mm-mm.
930
01:05:29,993 --> 01:05:32,962
[ Fred ]
Well, Frank, you did it again.
931
01:05:33,030 --> 01:05:35,123
Now, come on. Get outta here
before I call Security.
932
01:05:35,198 --> 01:05:37,530
- Bye-bye.
- Bye!
933
01:05:37,601 --> 01:05:40,126
- Bye-bye.
- Thanks again.
934
01:05:40,203 --> 01:05:43,001
That is how the game
is played, Ward, old man.
935
01:05:43,073 --> 01:05:45,041
Drill 'em, fill 'em
and bill 'em.
936
01:05:45,108 --> 01:05:48,908
Take notes and one day, maybe,
you'll have a corner office.
937
01:05:48,979 --> 01:05:53,040
I'll say this, Fred.
What I saw today, I'm sure
they don't teach in any business school.
938
01:05:53,116 --> 01:05:56,085
Learn it, use it
and pass it on.
939
01:05:56,153 --> 01:06:00,214
The best part is, I finally have time
to make it to one of Beaver's games.
940
01:06:00,290 --> 01:06:02,240
So long, Fred.
941
01:06:03,975 --> 01:06:06,205
It's due back
on the 19th.
942
01:06:07,478 --> 01:06:09,412
I want to check this out.
943
01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:12,210
Hey, Beav, look.
944
01:06:12,283 --> 01:06:15,446
That's the biggest
coffee cup I've ever seen.
945
01:06:15,519 --> 01:06:17,749
Hey, that place
finally opened, huh?
946
01:06:17,822 --> 01:06:21,656
Yeah, and I can't wait to have
my first iced "mochaccino."
947
01:06:21,726 --> 01:06:23,819
Hey, it's you!
Give me back my bike!
948
01:06:23,894 --> 01:06:27,523
Your bike? I get the feelin'
I'm being accused of somethin' here.
949
01:06:27,598 --> 01:06:29,589
You know what he's
talkin' about, Kyle?
950
01:06:29,667 --> 01:06:31,794
Yeah. You stole his bike,
and he wants it back.
951
01:06:31,869 --> 01:06:33,860
Give me my bike back,
or I'll call my brother.
952
01:06:33,938 --> 01:06:35,565
You mean, Wally?
953
01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:39,076
Doesn't he have enough trouble
hanging onto his own belongings?
954
01:06:39,143 --> 01:06:44,046
I'll tell you what.
I'll make you a deal.
955
01:06:44,115 --> 01:06:47,175
Me and Kyle have been arguing
about that big cup up there.
956
01:06:47,251 --> 01:06:49,310
He says there's coffee in it,
and I say there isn't.
957
01:06:49,387 --> 01:06:53,517
It's probably not coffee. They probably
got a machine up there that makes steam.
958
01:06:53,591 --> 01:06:56,617
That's what I said,
but the sign says it's coffee,
959
01:06:56,694 --> 01:06:59,686
and Kyle thinks there's a law
against fake advertising.
960
01:07:01,232 --> 01:07:02,665
So what's the deal?
961
01:07:02,733 --> 01:07:04,667
You climb up there
and prove I'm right...
962
01:07:04,735 --> 01:07:08,398
and that there's no coffee in it,
I'll give you your bike back.
963
01:07:10,107 --> 01:07:15,238
You want me to
climb up there? No way!
964
01:07:15,313 --> 01:07:19,909
I guess you're right, man.
This kid here, he's got no spine.
965
01:07:19,984 --> 01:07:22,885
Come on, man. Let's blow outta here.
I gotta meet Karen.
966
01:07:22,953 --> 01:07:28,118
Wait. How do I know once I get up there,
you'll really give me my bike back?
967
01:07:28,192 --> 01:07:30,752
Dude, what other choice
you got?
968
01:07:30,828 --> 01:07:32,762
[ Sighs ]
969
01:07:32,830 --> 01:07:36,095
[ Snickers ]
970
01:07:47,278 --> 01:07:51,977
[ Grunting ]
971
01:07:53,884 --> 01:07:57,320
[ Shouting ]
972
01:07:57,388 --> 01:08:00,221
[ Coach ] Let's see some hustle now.
Come on. Move it!
973
01:08:00,291 --> 01:08:03,624
- There's so sign of the Beaver.
- Maybe he was drafted by the Packers.
974
01:08:03,694 --> 01:08:05,093
[ Fred Laughing ]
975
01:08:05,162 --> 01:08:08,290
Ah! There he is.
976
01:08:08,366 --> 01:08:10,800
Surprise, Beaver.
977
01:08:12,703 --> 01:08:16,969
Oh! Uh, have a good game, son.
Go get 'em!
978
01:08:17,041 --> 01:08:19,066
Boy, it's high up here.
979
01:08:19,143 --> 01:08:22,112
It just looks that way,
'cause you're way up there.
980
01:08:22,179 --> 01:08:24,272
But from down here,
it's not that high at all.
981
01:08:24,348 --> 01:08:26,782
[ Panting ]
982
01:08:28,853 --> 01:08:32,755
Coach Gordon?
Hello. Ward Cleaver.
983
01:08:32,823 --> 01:08:34,814
Oh, yeah, hi.
How are ya?
984
01:08:34,892 --> 01:08:37,656
- This is Fred Rutherford.
- Coach.
985
01:08:37,728 --> 01:08:39,787
So, your son doing
any better in school?
986
01:08:39,864 --> 01:08:41,832
Pardon?
987
01:08:41,899 --> 01:08:46,632
That's why he had to leave
the team, so he could get
extra help after school, right?
988
01:08:46,704 --> 01:08:49,696
Geez, you'll have
to excuse me, Coach.
989
01:08:49,774 --> 01:08:52,868
I seem to find myself
out of the loop on this one.
990
01:08:57,181 --> 01:09:00,014
[ Grunts ]
991
01:09:04,955 --> 01:09:08,186
- Whoa!
- Come on, Beav! Quit screwin' around!
992
01:09:08,259 --> 01:09:11,786
[ Grunting ]
993
01:09:21,505 --> 01:09:23,996
You made it, Beaver!
You made it!
994
01:09:24,074 --> 01:09:26,508
Hey, Larry!
I can't see inside!
995
01:09:26,577 --> 01:09:31,514
Whoa!
[ Grunts ]
996
01:09:31,582 --> 01:09:35,643
Hey, guess I win the bet!
I didn't hear a splash.
997
01:09:35,719 --> 01:09:40,179
- Do I get my bike back now?
- Deal's a deal.
Come on down and get it.
998
01:09:43,727 --> 01:09:49,290
- I can't get out!
- Are you welching on your deal?
999
01:09:49,366 --> 01:09:54,599
- Kids today!
They just got no moral code.
- Yeah.
1000
01:09:54,672 --> 01:09:57,072
Hey, Larry, I'm gonna
be stuck in here forever.
1001
01:09:57,141 --> 01:10:00,338
Okay, okay, don't panic.
I'll get the police.
1002
01:10:00,411 --> 01:10:05,041
No, the cops will tell my
parents, and then they'll find
out I quit the football team!
1003
01:10:05,115 --> 01:10:09,745
If that's what you're worried about,
you deserve to be seeing a shrink.
1004
01:10:10,821 --> 01:10:14,018
[ Feet Scraping Side ]
1005
01:10:15,092 --> 01:10:17,083
[ Whistling ]
1006
01:10:17,161 --> 01:10:21,689
Wally! What are you doing?
We're gonna be having dinner soon.
1007
01:10:21,765 --> 01:10:23,699
Don't worry, Mom.
I'll be done by then.
1008
01:10:23,767 --> 01:10:27,601
Hello, dear.
How was your day at the salt mines?
1009
01:10:27,671 --> 01:10:29,866
June, where's the Beaver?
1010
01:10:29,940 --> 01:10:32,374
Um, he's at his game.
1011
01:10:32,443 --> 01:10:36,470
No, he's not. They haven't
seen him in two weeks.
1012
01:10:36,547 --> 01:10:39,539
I think this is one of those
conversations I should go upstairs for.
1013
01:10:39,617 --> 01:10:44,054
Wally, your father and I need
to know what's goin' on right now.
1014
01:10:44,121 --> 01:10:48,990
Okay, but if you
don't mind me saying so,
1015
01:10:49,059 --> 01:10:51,619
I don't think that going and thrashing
on the Beaver is gonna help any.
1016
01:10:51,695 --> 01:10:54,994
I was not planning
to thrash on anyone, Wally.
1017
01:10:55,065 --> 01:10:57,124
I'd just like to know what's
going on under my own roof.
1018
01:10:57,201 --> 01:11:00,637
All right.
[ Sighs ]
1019
01:11:00,704 --> 01:11:03,332
Well, we all
like the Beaver,
1020
01:11:03,407 --> 01:11:05,967
except we all know
he's not the smartest guy...
1021
01:11:06,043 --> 01:11:10,639
or the best-lookin' and that he's got
a tendency to lose things.
1022
01:11:10,714 --> 01:11:13,080
Your point being?
1023
01:11:13,150 --> 01:11:15,710
The guy's got enough
trouble in his life...
1024
01:11:15,786 --> 01:11:19,916
without always havin' to
worry about lettin' ya down.
1025
01:11:21,725 --> 01:11:24,660
- [ Doorbell Rings ]
- I'll get it.
1026
01:11:25,529 --> 01:11:28,327
Hi, Mrs. Cleaver.
1027
01:11:28,399 --> 01:11:31,425
I sure hope you're
in a good mood.
1028
01:11:31,502 --> 01:11:33,640
[ Giggles Nervously ]
1029
01:11:46,019 --> 01:11:48,385
[ Siren Wailing ]
1030
01:11:48,454 --> 01:11:51,685
Stand back!
Step aside here!
1031
01:11:51,758 --> 01:11:56,320
[ Dispatcher On Police
Radio, indistinct ]
1032
01:11:57,830 --> 01:12:01,197
Hey, Wally, looks like we just crowned
a new village idiot.
1033
01:12:01,267 --> 01:12:03,167
[ Helicopter Whirring ]
1034
01:12:03,236 --> 01:12:05,704
Ah, Mr. Cleaver,
I hope you're as moved...
1035
01:12:05,772 --> 01:12:08,639
by this fine show of civic support
for your second born as I am.
1036
01:12:08,708 --> 01:12:10,676
- Be right back.
- Okay.
1037
01:12:10,743 --> 01:12:13,177
I might add, Mrs. Cleaver,
even in the most dire circumstances...
1038
01:12:13,246 --> 01:12:15,237
you look as though you've
just walked off the runway.
1039
01:12:15,314 --> 01:12:17,544
- Eddie.
- Yes, Mrs. Cleaver.
1040
01:12:17,617 --> 01:12:19,482
Cut the crap.
1041
01:12:24,257 --> 01:12:27,158
Things are really percolating
here in downtown Mayfield...
1042
01:12:27,226 --> 01:12:30,354
as a little boy,
caught in a giant coffee cup,
1043
01:12:30,430 --> 01:12:33,661
has refused attempts
by rescue personnel to extricate him.
1044
01:12:33,733 --> 01:12:38,670
Now it appears that that job has landed
on the shoulders of his father.
1045
01:12:39,739 --> 01:12:42,435
- Th-That's Dad!
- Beaver?
1046
01:12:47,480 --> 01:12:48,777
Oh!
1047
01:12:48,848 --> 01:12:52,579
- [ Helicopter Whirring ]
- Hello, Beaver.
1048
01:12:52,652 --> 01:12:55,815
- You all right?
- Yes, sir.
1049
01:12:55,888 --> 01:12:59,688
If it's okay, I'd rather you yell at me
up here than in front of the whole town.
1050
01:12:59,759 --> 01:13:03,126
I have no intention
of yelling at you.
1051
01:13:03,196 --> 01:13:09,101
You say that now, but you just might
forget once you hear everything.
1052
01:13:09,168 --> 01:13:12,763
I know all about
the football team, Beaver.
1053
01:13:12,839 --> 01:13:14,773
Thanks a lot, Wally.
1054
01:13:14,841 --> 01:13:18,572
The problem isn't who I heard it from.
It's that I didn't hear it from you.
1055
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:22,978
- I wanted to tell ya, Dad!
- Then why didn't ya, Beav?
1056
01:13:23,049 --> 01:13:25,609
'Cause I couldn't
decide which was worser:
1057
01:13:25,685 --> 01:13:28,051
screwin' up by playin'
or screwin' up by quittin'.
1058
01:13:28,121 --> 01:13:33,115
Either way, I didn't want to
go disappointin' ya again.
1059
01:13:33,192 --> 01:13:35,319
Why would you say
something like that?
1060
01:13:35,394 --> 01:13:38,420
'Cause it's true.
Ever since my bike got stole,
1061
01:13:38,498 --> 01:13:40,625
you've been
givin' me the look.
1062
01:13:40,700 --> 01:13:43,066
What look is that?
1063
01:13:43,136 --> 01:13:46,731
It's a look like you don't like what
I'm doin', but you don't wanna tell me.
1064
01:13:46,806 --> 01:13:49,741
Beaver, I don't
give you any--
1065
01:13:52,011 --> 01:13:55,879
Oh, I do that, huh?
1066
01:13:55,948 --> 01:13:58,644
My dad used to do that.
1067
01:13:58,718 --> 01:14:02,347
Used to make me feel like nothin'
I ever did was good enough for him.
1068
01:14:02,421 --> 01:14:05,584
If you didn't like it when
your dad gave you the look,
1069
01:14:05,658 --> 01:14:07,626
then why'd you
give it to me?
1070
01:14:11,230 --> 01:14:13,164
Well, Beaver, l--
1071
01:14:18,337 --> 01:14:23,274
I guess I just forgot
what it felt like...
1072
01:14:23,342 --> 01:14:25,742
to be a little boy.
1073
01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:31,111
Maybe one day
when you're in my shoes,
1074
01:14:31,184 --> 01:14:34,881
you won't make some of
the same mistakes with your son.
1075
01:14:34,954 --> 01:14:37,445
Yeah, but if I grow up
and have as dumb a kid as me,
1076
01:14:37,523 --> 01:14:39,650
it'd be hard
not to want to belt him.
1077
01:14:39,725 --> 01:14:43,559
[ Laughs ]
Oh, Beav.
1078
01:14:43,629 --> 01:14:46,325
You know what unconditional
love is, Beaver?
1079
01:14:46,399 --> 01:14:49,129
Uh-uh.
1080
01:14:49,202 --> 01:14:52,399
It means that
when you're a parent,
1081
01:14:52,471 --> 01:14:54,871
you love your children
exactly the same,
1082
01:14:54,941 --> 01:15:00,743
no matter if they get straight A's
or stuck in a giant coffee cup.
1083
01:15:00,813 --> 01:15:04,909
- You understand?
- Well, sure, I get it, Dad,
1084
01:15:04,984 --> 01:15:10,650
'cause that's the way
I feel about you.
1085
01:15:10,723 --> 01:15:13,556
Oh, Beaver.
1086
01:15:15,494 --> 01:15:17,587
Thank you, son.
1087
01:15:17,663 --> 01:15:20,757
That's the nicest thing
anyone has ever said to me.
1088
01:15:23,169 --> 01:15:25,535
Let's get out of this steam bath.
What do you say? Come on.
1089
01:15:25,605 --> 01:15:29,974
Hey, Dad, now that we talked
about all this junk,
1090
01:15:30,042 --> 01:15:33,705
do you think it'd be all right
if I sorta went back to the team?
1091
01:15:33,779 --> 01:15:38,443
You don't have to play football, Beaver,
or do anything you don't want to,
1092
01:15:38,517 --> 01:15:40,951
except take a bath.
1093
01:15:41,020 --> 01:15:45,389
It's just next week the game's against
Benton, and we're gonna get killed,
1094
01:15:45,458 --> 01:15:49,861
so all the parents will probably
buy us pizza to make us feel better.
1095
01:15:49,929 --> 01:15:52,056
[ Laughs ]
Come on. Up you go.
1096
01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:54,065
I got ya.
[ Grunts ]
1097
01:15:54,133 --> 01:15:57,261
[ Crowd Cheering ]
1098
01:15:57,336 --> 01:16:01,067
Yay!
1099
01:16:01,140 --> 01:16:03,938
- [ Whistle Blows ]
- Go, Mayfield!
1100
01:16:04,010 --> 01:16:09,073
Don't forget to visit the Mayfield
Harvest Festival after the game.
1101
01:16:11,851 --> 01:16:15,947
Here we are. Look at this beautiful
chocolate pie.
1102
01:16:16,022 --> 01:16:19,389
Look at that. You were
last year's winner, weren't you?
1103
01:16:19,458 --> 01:16:21,653
- Come on, Stacy!
- [ Girl ] Coming, Judy.
1104
01:16:21,727 --> 01:16:23,661
Here we go.
1105
01:16:23,729 --> 01:16:28,393
- Here you go.
- Hey, this is good.
1106
01:16:28,467 --> 01:16:32,665
- Hey, Kyle, could you get me a soda?
- Oh, sure.
1107
01:16:32,738 --> 01:16:36,265
I'm a little short.
You got a buck?
1108
01:16:38,744 --> 01:16:41,838
Be right back, babe.
1109
01:16:41,914 --> 01:16:45,247
- Hey, couple of sodas.
- [ Man ] Sure thing.
1110
01:16:45,318 --> 01:16:47,309
Thanks, bud.
1111
01:16:47,386 --> 01:16:51,152
[ Announcer ] Time-out, Mayfield, with
ten seconds left in the game.
1112
01:16:51,223 --> 01:16:53,521
- Hey, Karen! Here's your soda.
- Thanks.
1113
01:16:53,592 --> 01:16:55,685
Hey, man,
let's get some popcorn.
1114
01:16:55,761 --> 01:16:57,695
Yeah, but you
better stay here.
1115
01:16:57,763 --> 01:17:00,755
You might see something
that'll kill your appetite.
1116
01:17:00,833 --> 01:17:03,427
- You wanna go to the festival?
- Sure.
1117
01:17:03,502 --> 01:17:06,665
- Cool.
- Yeah.
1118
01:17:11,610 --> 01:17:17,105
Mayfield is down to its final play,
trailing Benton 24 to 20.
1119
01:17:20,753 --> 01:17:23,950
[ Giggles ]
Hi, everybody.
1120
01:17:24,023 --> 01:17:28,289
If you're worried about us
jumping all over you for losin'
that game for us, forget it.
1121
01:17:28,361 --> 01:17:31,023
Yeah. The coach said makin' fun
of a guy is un sportsmanlike.
1122
01:17:31,097 --> 01:17:34,191
- Thanks, guys.
- Huddle up!
1123
01:17:34,266 --> 01:17:36,632
[ Together ]
We are alive! Go!
1124
01:17:36,702 --> 01:17:40,001
So, uh, what's the play?
1125
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:43,337
Oh! Pass protection,
86 on go.
1126
01:17:43,409 --> 01:17:44,740
- Ready!
- Break!
1127
01:17:44,810 --> 01:17:47,142
[ Whistle Blows ]
1128
01:17:47,213 --> 01:17:48,740
- Come on!
- Go, Beaver!
1129
01:17:49,574 --> 01:17:53,374
Down! Set!
1130
01:17:53,444 --> 01:17:55,674
- Go!
- [ Grunting ]
1131
01:18:02,086 --> 01:18:03,883
- There goes Beaver!
- Go, Beaver!
1132
01:18:03,955 --> 01:18:05,047
[ Grunts ]
1133
01:18:43,427 --> 01:18:46,157
- [ Crowd Cheering ]
- Go, Cleaver! Run!
1134
01:18:47,632 --> 01:18:50,192
- Run, Beaver!
- Run!
1135
01:18:50,268 --> 01:18:52,998
- Cleaver, run!
- Come on, Beaver!
1136
01:18:53,070 --> 01:18:56,403
- Run!
- Oh, no! Wrong way!
1137
01:18:56,474 --> 01:18:59,068
- Cleaver's running the wrong way...
- Stop him!
1138
01:18:59,143 --> 01:19:01,338
toward the Benton goal line!
1139
01:19:01,412 --> 01:19:03,778
- Beaver!
- [ Grunting ]
1140
01:19:03,848 --> 01:19:05,509
Cleav--
1141
01:19:10,321 --> 01:19:14,052
My bike! Stop!
1142
01:19:14,125 --> 01:19:16,184
- Come on!
- Come back here!
1143
01:19:19,864 --> 01:19:21,422
Go!
1144
01:19:30,141 --> 01:19:31,608
- Go!
- Go, Beaver!
1145
01:19:31,676 --> 01:19:34,270
[ Coach ]
Go, Cleaver! Go!
1146
01:19:35,713 --> 01:19:38,800
- [ Whistle Blows ]
- Touchdown!
1147
01:19:38,800 --> 01:19:41,735
[ Announcer ] Unbelievable!
Cleaver scores! Mayfield wins!
1148
01:19:44,605 --> 01:19:45,799
[ Panting ]
1149
01:19:45,873 --> 01:19:48,364
- You want some fudge?
- Sure.
1150
01:19:48,442 --> 01:19:49,602
- How about a brownie?
- Okay.
1151
01:19:49,677 --> 01:19:52,612
- Hey, bro.
- Give me back my bike!
1152
01:19:54,248 --> 01:19:58,344
[ Kyle Laughing ]
Go, brother! Go!
1153
01:19:58,419 --> 01:20:02,014
- What a loser family.
- Oh, yeah?
1154
01:20:02,089 --> 01:20:04,557
Aah!
1155
01:20:04,625 --> 01:20:09,824
- Aah!
- Nobody messes with my brother!
1156
01:20:09,897 --> 01:20:11,626
I'll be right back.
1157
01:20:11,699 --> 01:20:15,362
Here. You need
a little bit of topping.
1158
01:20:15,436 --> 01:20:18,564
[ Murmuring ]
1159
01:20:18,639 --> 01:20:20,903
[ Gasps ]
1160
01:20:32,420 --> 01:20:34,581
One hot dog with mustard.
Here you go, sir.
1161
01:20:41,562 --> 01:20:43,689
- Hey! Hey!
- Careful!
1162
01:20:52,940 --> 01:20:56,501
Whoa!
[ Grunts ]
1163
01:20:56,577 --> 01:20:59,239
- Not again!
- Ooh!
1164
01:20:59,914 --> 01:21:02,348
[ Gasps ]
1165
01:21:04,752 --> 01:21:08,188
- Ha, ha, ha.
- [ Groans ]
1166
01:21:08,256 --> 01:21:10,724
Yes!
1167
01:21:13,828 --> 01:21:19,733
- Gotcha!
- All right, Beav!
1168
01:21:19,800 --> 01:21:23,566
- Nice dress, Judy.
- [ Gasps ]
1169
01:21:28,609 --> 01:21:29,430
[ Beaver Humming ]
1170
01:21:29,430 --> 01:21:32,126
[ Beaver Humming ]
1171
01:21:32,132 --> 01:21:37,069
[ Humming Continues ]
1172
01:21:40,240 --> 01:21:42,174
Give it a rest, Beav.
1173
01:21:42,242 --> 01:21:45,177
You're gonna be so tired from polishing
it, you won't be able to ride it.
1174
01:21:45,245 --> 01:21:49,875
Don't worry about that. I figure it's
a lot safer if I don't ride it anymore.
1175
01:21:49,950 --> 01:21:54,284
- Come on, boys. Time for bed.
- [ Humming ]
1176
01:21:54,354 --> 01:21:58,051
Beaver, this bike isn't going
to stay up here forever, is it?
1177
01:21:58,125 --> 01:22:01,492
Oh, no, Mom. When I get married,
I'll move it into my new house.
1178
01:22:01,562 --> 01:22:04,292
Well, good night, Wally.
1179
01:22:04,364 --> 01:22:07,390
- Good night, Mom.
- Good night. [ Kissing Sound ]
1180
01:22:07,468 --> 01:22:09,402
- Good night, Beaver.
- Night, Wally.
1181
01:22:09,470 --> 01:22:12,871
- [ Kissing Sound ]
- [ Sighs ]
1182
01:22:12,940 --> 01:22:18,845
Hey, maybe we can make an exception
tonight about me giving you a kiss.
1183
01:22:22,149 --> 01:22:24,709
Yeah, Dad, I guess
it wouldn't kill anybody.
1184
01:22:26,820 --> 01:22:31,723
- Good night, Beaver. [ Kissing Sound ]
- Good night.
1185
01:22:33,227 --> 01:22:36,856
Dad, even though
I'm playing football,
1186
01:22:36,930 --> 01:22:40,923
it might still be okay for you to read
to me now and then, wouldn't it?
1187
01:22:45,339 --> 01:22:47,569
Are you sure
about that, Beaver?
1188
01:22:47,641 --> 01:22:50,633
I figure I'm not gonna
be a little kid forever.
1189
01:22:50,711 --> 01:22:54,670
So we ought to do as much
of this kind of junk while we still can.
1190
01:22:59,253 --> 01:23:03,553
"Now, Dottie the Dinosaur
had never seen a human being before.
1191
01:23:03,624 --> 01:23:06,855
"Such a tiny creature who only walks
on two legs and eats berries.
1192
01:23:06,927 --> 01:23:11,057
"'Couldn't be much
of a hunter,' said Dottie.
1193
01:23:11,131 --> 01:23:14,066
"'l heard that,' Billy cried to
the towering beast above him.
1194
01:23:14,134 --> 01:23:18,195
"'Could you speak up?' Dottie said.
'l can barely hear you down there.'
1195
01:23:18,272 --> 01:23:20,206
"Billy could hardly imagine
what the next insult...
1196
01:23:20,274 --> 01:23:24,005
"coming out of this long-necked,
sharp-toothed, drooling beast would be.
1197
01:23:24,077 --> 01:23:26,477
"And as Billy
started to walk away,
1198
01:23:26,547 --> 01:23:30,574
"a big leathery-fanged paw scooped
him up and held him to its nose.
1199
01:23:30,651 --> 01:23:32,881
"But this time, in a quieter,
sweeter voice, Dottie said...
1200
01:23:32,953 --> 01:23:35,387
with what seemed like a tear
running down her cheek--"
1201
01:23:35,455 --> 01:23:38,515
Hey, Dad, I really
like the way you read to me.
1202
01:23:38,592 --> 01:23:42,926
Why, thank you, Beaver. You wouldn't
be suckin' up again, would ya, son?
1203
01:23:42,996 --> 01:23:47,558
Oh, no, Dad. It's still a while
till Christmas.
1204
01:23:47,634 --> 01:23:50,467
"'Well, what did she
look like,' Billy said--"
1205
01:23:50,537 --> 01:23:53,995
[ Continues Reading,
indistinct ]
96912
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