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1
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,316
Smoking makes you dead.
2
00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:43,433
It means you get all black inside
and swell up like a whale,
3
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,312
and explode in hospital.
4
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,079
Daddy says criminals
and bad people smoke.
5
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,953
Timmy? He's not bothering you, is he?
6
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,719
Not at all, no,
but no ice cream in the shop.
7
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:57,913
- I don't have an ice cream.
- I think Timmy's telling a naughty fib.
8
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,469
For goodness' sake. Outside, now!
9
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,511
No books for you.
10
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,995
- I'm so sorry.
- Not at all.
11
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:11,351
"My, what a lovely carrot,'
said the hippo.
12
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,871
"Yes, but is it organic?"
said the fussy rabbit in a squeaky voice."
13
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:20,198
Oh, sorry. (Squeaky voice) "Yes,
but is it organic?' said the..."
14
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,394
- Bernard. Bernard!
- What?
15
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:29,354
It's hot in the worm. Can I have a break?
16
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,870
You'd shatter the magic
for the lovely children,
17
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,639
so no, certainly not.
18
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,320
"No, it's not organic,' said the hippo.
19
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:42,035
"Oh, I don't want it then,'
said the fussy rabbit." Ow.
20
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,674
Ow! Look, it's a real beard, I told you!
21
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:50,435
I'm finished.
They're picking me up for the hen night.
22
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:54,269
A big, old house in the country.
It'll be brilliant.
23
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,995
I doubt it, since your night begins
with the word "hen", prefix of doom..
24
00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,999
It'll be great -
all the old school gang back together.
25
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,396
- I thought you hated school?
- I never said that.
26
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,512
I just look at your life now
and work backwards.
27
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,239
- Bernard.
- You haven't finished, worm!
28
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,476
What happened to the rabbit?
29
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,955
He...starved to death. The end.
30
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:21,351
Look, I could write
a better kids' book than this.
31
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:26,634
Pretty pictures, simple story, something
for the little tykes to really enjoy.
32
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:31,231
See the film, collect the stickers,
play the Xbox game, eat the yoghurt.
33
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:34,557
It'll be my gift
to children-kind everywhere.
34
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,718
Everyone thinks they could write one.
It's not that easy.
35
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,717
It is. They go for any old rubbish.
36
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:45,199
- Children are actually very discerning.
- They're not, they lap up any old gumph.
37
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:49,916
Not gumph! Let's write a children's
classic. You and me, together!
38
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:54,238
- You two could never do it.
- We could! Before you even get back.
39
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:58,035
OK. By tomorrow. A million
billion pounds says you have nothing.
40
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:01,550
Oh, the old million billion.
Make it interesting - say 50?
41
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:02,874
OK.
42
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:06,993
And another 50 says you have
an appalling, excruciating night.
43
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,869
Oh, Fran, you forgot your bag!
44
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,911
(Grunts)
45
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,120
(Fran) Look, there it is
(Woman) Oh, fantastic!
46
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,151
(Fran) Let's make a huge dinner.
47
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,352
(Woman) No, don't let me eat!
Chain me to the radiator.
48
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,596
(Fran) Oh, yeah, yeah! Come on! Oh!
49
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,790
- Now...booze.
- Oh, yes.
50
00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:42,712
Oh. Is that enough?
51
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,990
Oh, great, we've got loads!
52
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:53,113
(Continues unloading bottles)
53
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,590
Did you bring anything else, Dr Death?
54
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,711
- Just this.
- Oh, my God. Life Cry.
55
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,878
I haven't seen that
since our school reunion.
56
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:12,276
(Sighs) You always know
you're in for a good night
57
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,597
when there's a polar bear
bleeding on the label.
58
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:27,473
Manny, we haven't written anything!
You're not pulling your weight.
59
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,638
Manny? Agree with me
when I'm talking to you!
60
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,991
Manny?
61
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,840
- Manny?
- (Thud)
62
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,271
- Manny?
- Hello?
63
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,351
Back in the worm.
64
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,914
- I don't want to.
- Back in the worm!
65
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:54,033
I've been ready to write for ages,
I've been waiting for you.
66
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:57,198
- Well, I've been waiting for you.
- I'm ready.
67
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,231
Well, I'm ready.
68
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,231
Let's start then. Come on.
69
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,391
(Clears throat)
70
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:35,433
- We should do some research!
- So we know what we're up against!
71
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,471
Yeah.
72
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:43,671
(Manny) Hmm.
73
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,714
- Hmph! Ha!
- (Laughs) Look at...
74
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,037
I hadn't realised
the competition was this bad.
75
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:56,553
This is drivel.
Ball, duck, umbrella. On and on it goes.
76
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,557
With no hint of plot.
77
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,798
Precisely. Now we know
just how easy it's gonna be.
78
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,956
Yeah.
79
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,150
All right, then. Get that...
80
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,756
- We have to think about children.
- Absolutely!
81
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:32,556
- ~ Let us consider the modern child.
- Yes.
82
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,114
What do they want in a book?
83
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,157
Who cares?
84
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,352
We have to write for ourselves
as children.
85
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:46,236
You know, when innocence was legal.
When summers seemed to go on forever.
86
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:50,831
A-A-And you'd cycle miles
just to tell a friend you'd seen a frog.
87
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:55,238
(Chuckles) When you could play
in your back yard with any old thing.
88
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,636
All I needed was a... was a breeze block.
89
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,672
And... and a bit of an old bone.
90
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,909
I bet you could make whole worlds?
91
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:11,433
Oh, I could! One minute I'd be laying
siege to a castle with a bit of an old bone
92
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:15,394
and the next minute
I'd be setting sail on a Spanish galleon
93
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,431
towards a breeze block.
94
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:22,036
- Mm. Come on, let's start.
- Yes.
95
00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,751
Ah. Right...
96
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:41,189
I'm so happy for you
and your lovely fiancé.
97
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,880
- (Whispers) Mark...
- (All) Ahh...
98
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,833
Now, speeches.
99
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,753
Now, Becky... I love you.
100
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,269
- (All) Ahh...
- Don't interrupt!
101
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:57,312
Look, we have known each other
for a long time.
102
00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,510
- (Belches)
- But what's time?
103
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,359
There's no such thing, there's only love.
104
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,789
- Ahh...
- Don't interrupt!
105
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,554
I love you, all the time.
106
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,951
1 would like to say...
107
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,709
No, brides don't say. Right...
108
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:20,390
- Eat cake.
- Ahh.
109
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,756
(Cheering)
110
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,713
- (+ Bananarama: Venus)
- Barmanararmba!
111
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,599
♪ Burning like a silver flame
112
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,758
♪ The summit of beauty and love
113
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,517
♪ And Venus was her name... ♪
114
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:45,839
(Sighs) Manny Bianco, nul points. My go.
115
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,110
(Phone)
116
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,113
- Hello.
- Wah-hey!
117
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,833
Oh, hello.
118
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:58,909
Just thought you'd want to hear the
sound of four girls having the best time.
119
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,154
(Cheering)
120
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,591
Yeah, yeah,
I bet you're crying on the inside.
121
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:09,270
- How's the book coming?
- Brilliant. Very well.
122
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:14,872
- Fran, come and dance!
- I'm just listening to Bernard lying!
123
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:19,676
And remember, £100, and I want cash,
not forged book tokens this time.
124
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,796
Becky! Tell me you're happy.
125
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,480
I'm so happy,
and any more would be bad.
126
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,275
Well, it gets better...
for now is the time...
127
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,517
- for Life Cry.
- No, Fran, no more.
128
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,154
But yes, and we shall play a game.
129
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,029
- (Music stops)
- Remember this?
130
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,675
It's time for a nice game of...Truth.
131
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,996
Oh, I hate that.
132
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,351
Maybe you'll enjoy it more
after some more cake.
133
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:54,792
- No, no more cake, please.
- Games! Cake! Booze! Truth!
134
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,914
- We can't let her win. Come on, to work.
- Right.
135
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:06,398
- OK. OK.
- Here we go. Er, book for...
136
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:12,713
All right, let's just, you know,
get some ideas bouncing around.
137
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,991
- Go crazy, no rules...
- Anything goes.
138
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,554
No, not anything goes! I said no rules!
139
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,400
- Hit me, hit me.
- Right. Something...
140
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,636
er...with a... a fox!
141
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,311
Right. Er... Ah!
142
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,671
What about a London pigeon?
143
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:41,679
No, that's terrible,
that makes me cringe. No, no, no, no.
144
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:46,998
Something, you know, something...
How about... how about...
145
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:50,874
How about a mouse?
Now we're getting somewhere! A mouse.
146
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:57,358
Now, who is this mouse?
Where is he from, where's he going?
147
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,391
Where does he live?
148
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,431
Er, he lives... he lives...
149
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,552
This had better be good.
It better be perfect.
150
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,752
He lives in a...bottle bank!
151
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,070
Oh-ho! Brilliant! Fabulous!
152
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,875
Er, and, er, he... he plays the trombone!
153
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,474
And, er, he only eats...
154
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:25,195
- liquorice!
- Manny, this is solid gold. Solid gold!
155
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,593
His... his best friend is a panda!
156
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,390
Awful! Bilge!
157
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:38,159
Child poison!
You stay away from the story.
158
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:43,149
I'll deal with the plot. You can...
do pictures as I hand you the pages.
159
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,271
Something bright and idiotic.
160
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:51,274
And I will co-write this with myself.
161
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,951
- Huh? Huh?
- Ah.
162
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,991
Ah-ha-ha.
163
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,955
Yah!
164
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,037
Hah-hah. Huh?
165
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,911
That's rubbish!
166
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,231
Start again!
167
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,111
So what do you think?
168
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,515
It's, erm, it's brilliant.
169
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:29,159
Er, it might be a little long
at a 1,030 pages.
170
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:36,230
Well, we could lose about a page
and a half but the rest is totally essential.
171
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:42,393
The plot's...interesting. Might be
a little complex for the three to sixes.
172
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,871
It couldn't be simpler.
173
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:49,709
There's the academic
who survived the Stalinist purges
174
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,593
and is now having flashbacks
to that time.
175
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:56,838
His daughter, whose long marriage
is collapsing around her,
176
00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:00,430
and the journalist who suspects
the academic was never in Russia,
177
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,120
who falls obsessively in love
with the daughter
178
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,630
and sacrifices his career
to become a lens grinder in Omsk.
179
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:11,914
I mean...what's the problem? I don't think
we should talk down to children.
180
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:17,353
It's... Bernard, it's brilliant. It is.
It's so good. I mean, I'm excited -
181
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:22,236
I'm very excited about how excited
everybody will be when they see it.
182
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,271
It is exciting.
183
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:28,393
I just have two teeny-weeny
suggestions for changes.
184
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,040
- Which are?
- Well...
185
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,674
instead of...the, er,
186
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,076
academic
and the journalist and the daughter,
187
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:42,512
erm, perhaps it could be about...
an elephant?
188
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,829
- An elephant?
- That's right.
189
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,196
What's your other suggestion?
190
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:59,031
Well, instead of the Stalinist purges
and the divorce and the investigation,
191
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:03,711
erm, it could be about...losing a balloon.
192
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,435
An elephant who loses his balloon?
193
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,830
That's it.
194
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,431
(Mouths)
195
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,438
- ~ But still my story in essence?
- Oh, yes.
196
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,471
- My vision.
- Completely.
197
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,789
Yes, all right, let's do that then! Come on!
198
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,436
Oh, look, it's me again.
199
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:42,713
Here's one. Tanya,
I told Hugh Conti, remember,
200
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,230
that you were the one
who gave him crabs.
201
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,115
You wouldn't do that.
202
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:57,516
- Why did you do that?
- He was really itchy!
203
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,354
(Cackling)
204
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,991
Who's next?
205
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,680
I can't believe you kissed my dad.
206
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:12,590
Why didn't you tell us you were the one
stealing clothes from college?
207
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,234
- We were freaked out!
- I was young.
208
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:20,036
- Have you still got my dress?
- No. I made it into toilet curtains.
209
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:26,277
As we're playing Truth, Fran,
1 think you're a bit jealous.
210
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:30,314
That's why you got us pissed
and made us play your stupid game,
211
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,671
- to bring us down to your level.
- Who am I jealous of?
212
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,916
- I've got a career.
- (Scoffs)
213
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,600
- I've got a job and a family.
- (Scoffs)
214
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,598
- I'm getting married.
- (Scoffs)
215
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:46,760
And you are still
the same old Auntie Millicent.
216
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,911
Who... who's Auntie Millicent?
217
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,474
It was what we used to call you,
218
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,831
because we knew
you'd turn into a crazy spinster.
219
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:04,311
And you have, hanging out with
your two freaks from the book shop.
220
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,749
(Laughter)
221
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:12,079
It was, wasn't it?! Oh, yes, Auntie
Millicent who lived in the crooked house.
222
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,670
- With loads of cats.
- That's right - purple cats.
223
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,156
- And you had sex with them all.
- (Laughing)
224
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:28,310
At least I didn't have a threesome
with Mark after the school reunion.
225
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,237
Oh, did I just say that?
226
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:38,237
- Becky, we were going to tell you...
- Obviously we were going to tell you,
227
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,271
just not like this.
228
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:45,838
Do you know what, Fran? You could
have just kept your mouth shut.
229
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,951
Exactly, Fran - least said...
230
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,469
Shut up, Tanya!
231
00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,710
I was...waiting for the right time
to tell you, Becky.
232
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,195
Like her anniversary or something?
233
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,311
(+ Bananarama: More More More)
234
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:08,955
♪ Any time you want to
do what you gotta do... ♪
235
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,150
Anyone for a nightcap?
236
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,271
♪ How do you like it, how do you like it?
237
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:16,278
♪ More more more,
how do you like it?;
238
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,320
(Slurring) I'm going to read it again.
239
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:32,999
There's the elephant,
he's happy with his balloon.
240
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,759
Oh, no! It's gone!
241
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,631
Where is it?
242
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,796
It's not behind the rhino.
243
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,469
Look in the alligator's mouth.
244
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,511
(Both) It's not there either.
245
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,959
Ohh...the monkey's got it in the tree!
246
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:03,752
- He brings it back...
- (Both) They all drink lemonade.
247
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,791
The end!
248
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,154
- Here's to us.
- (Sighs)
249
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:19,559
Bernard, I feel sorry for the children
who grew up before they could read this.
250
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:24,754
Manny, we are going to be...
very very rich.
251
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,950
How rich, Bernard?
252
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,197
Oh, uncontrollably, incontinently rich.
253
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,551
- And...and Fran will be humiliated.
- Yeah!
254
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:37,639
See, we don't need
this dirty, filthy everyday money.
255
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,356
Success will bring problems.
256
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:45,758
I don't wanna wake up
in rehab with Shergar.
257
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:50,636
What problems? We're on the pig's back,
charging through a velvet field.
258
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,320
There will be pressure for a follow-up.
259
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:58,389
People will say, "You are the elephant
balloon guys! Where's the next one?"
260
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:02,479
Who cares? Who cares what
our disgusting public think?
261
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,956
And all the houses -
you'll be in your Mustique house.
262
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,436
You'll think,
"Where's my designer underpants?
263
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,551
"Oh, in my Kong Hong house.”
264
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:15,389
- Oh, no!
- And there's the press intrusion.
265
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,716
The press, will they be onto us?
266
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:21,037
Bernard, they'll hound us
like a pack of...hounds!
267
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,071
But I'm not doing anything.
268
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:28,798
I'm just strolling up the beach with my
discreetly pregnant Brazilian girlfriend.
269
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:32,720
And then the boat appears
with...laden with pappa-ritzy,
270
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,718
- and I'll say, "You filth!"
- Filth!
271
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,799
"Take a photo of me if you must,
but leave her out of it!
272
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:44,869
"She didn't ask for any of this.
She's just an ordinary lingerie model.”
273
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:50,910
I can't deal with it.
I just wanna live in my normal mansion
274
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,839
with my normal helicopter
and normal yacht.
275
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,554
- Is that too much to ask?
- No!
276
00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,070
- Manny, we must undo this thing.
- What do you mean?
277
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:03,158
~ It has to go.
- Yeah, you're right, Bernard.
278
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,318
It's our only chance
of living a normal life.
279
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,511
- Ready?
- Yeah.
280
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,997
This is the right thing to do.
281
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,998
Yeah, Mustique's
probably quite nice but...
282
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,550
- Get it!
- Oh!
283
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,032
It was a big animal,
like a hippo or a whale.
284
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,310
- think it was a camel.
- Was it?
285
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:33,399
- It had lost something.
- Yeah, a...wheelbarrow, er...
286
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,637
chest of drawers, er, microlight, er...
287
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,799
Oh, I don't know. It's not coming back.
It's never coming back!
288
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,874
- Oh.
- You haven't written anything.
289
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,878
Actually, we wrote
a very good children's book.
290
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,879
We had to burn it
because it was too good.
291
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,119
It happens all the time. £50, please.
292
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,960
What sort of time did you have? Really.
293
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,916
It couldn't have been better.
Best time in the world.
294
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,069
Oh, there you go, it was awful.
295
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,436
But, well, the wedding's off...
296
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,275
So I don't have to buy a present.
I'm up on the weekend.
297
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,311
Mister, how much is this?
298
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:38,432
That's a first edition, that's expensive.
299
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:42,075
I've saved all my pocket money
and I've got nine pounds.
300
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:45,351
- Oh, well done, you.
- That is a lot of money.
301
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,074
Yeah, but that's still £50 though.
302
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:51,954
Oh, it's my favourite book ever.
1 wish I had £50.
303
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,676
Is it really your favourite book?
304
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,394
I love it more than anything in the world.
305
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:08,911
Well, you...
306
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,712
I've never said this
to anybody before but...
307
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,400
you're gonna have to get a job.
24640
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