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1
00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:06,333
and may contain
mature subject matter.
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00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:12,066
Viewer discretion
is advised.
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00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,400
until they complete
their investigation.
and may contain
mature subject matter.
4
00:00:14,533 --> 00:00:16,000
(agonized screams)
5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:17,533
- Quoi?
6
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:21,934
- Hein, voyons donc!
What did we just smoke exactly?
7
00:00:22,066 --> 00:00:25,000
- Just pot, my friend,
good old marijuana.
8
00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:26,100
I think?
9
00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:28,900
- Am I dreaming or what?
Réal, this is...
10
00:00:29,033 --> 00:00:31,367
this is simply unreal.
11
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:36,467
- Unless we redefine the word
"coincidence," Pierre.
12
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,967
- As an uncanny event occurring
when fiction meets reality!
13
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:41,500
(TV): Breaking news!
14
00:00:41,633 --> 00:00:44,100
Red Ketchup has since been
spotted in New York City.
15
00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:47,066
- Red Ketchup truly exists!
16
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,200
(laughing)
17
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:50,467
Pas vrai!
18
00:00:53,867 --> 00:00:59,467
(theme song)
19
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:25,300
(dramatic music)
20
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:28,266
- Good morning, Pandora.
21
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,100
Did you sleep well?
22
00:01:31,934 --> 00:01:33,900
(chuckling)
23
00:01:34,033 --> 00:01:37,900
Elsa Wolfsbane says
hi, by the way.
24
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:41,200
What?
25
00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:45,266
But meine Liebe, there's no need
to be jealous,
26
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,467
Elsa is an old friend,
nothing more.
27
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,033
We spent the night
talking business.
28
00:01:51,166 --> 00:01:54,600
She's just helping me
finance my research.
29
00:01:55,633 --> 00:01:59,800
I'm so sorry not to have
anything better to serve you.
30
00:02:00,867 --> 00:02:02,967
The Soviets are to blame!
31
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:05,533
They shut down
the Komrade Ultra program
32
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:09,066
and kicked us back to the USA!
33
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:12,367
Now, we have to start anew.
34
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,300
Ach, what a pity!
35
00:02:15,066 --> 00:02:19,867
But you will see, soon,
everything will change.
36
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,900
We are very close.
37
00:02:23,166 --> 00:02:27,500
(bubbling)
38
00:02:28,934 --> 00:02:32,700
Our first born is almost ready,
mein Schatz!
39
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:36,767
We will call him... Adam!
40
00:02:37,633 --> 00:02:40,300
He grew in only two weeks,
41
00:02:40,433 --> 00:02:44,166
but he already has your eyes,
mein Liebling.
42
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,867
I have yet to figure out
how to crack the red eyes.
43
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:57,333
(dramatic music)
44
00:02:57,467 --> 00:03:00,667
(screaming)
- FBI! Outta my way, freaks!
45
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,500
(panting)
- Ketchup, wait!
46
00:03:02,633 --> 00:03:05,000
(screaming)
47
00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:06,266
(fast-paced jazz music)
48
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,967
(grunts)
49
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:13,133
- Spit it out!
Tell me everything you know!
50
00:03:13,266 --> 00:03:14,967
(panting)
51
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:17,567
- Red, we're not here
to chase civilians.
52
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:18,467
(sniffs)
53
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,233
- I can smell them, Plywood!
54
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,800
Commies, all over the place,
55
00:03:21,934 --> 00:03:24,100
probably masquerading
as cheap knock offs
56
00:03:24,233 --> 00:03:25,834
like this giant penguin.
57
00:03:25,967 --> 00:03:28,233
- Again, seriously?
58
00:03:28,367 --> 00:03:30,967
(sighs)
What's with you
and penguins anyway?
59
00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:33,633
- The FBI simply can't
risk nerds
60
00:03:33,767 --> 00:03:39,266
who read propagandistic cartoons
being brought to the dark side.
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00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,934
(punching)
(pained moans)
62
00:03:42,066 --> 00:03:45,400
- Come on, Red. Let's try
and find some real crime.
63
00:03:45,867 --> 00:03:48,200
(grunts)
64
00:03:48,934 --> 00:03:50,667
Have you ever considered
therapy?
65
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:51,934
(groans)
66
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,200
(pained moan)
67
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,100
- Dr. K, this is Adam
reporting to base.
68
00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:00,567
I'm at the Convention.
Ketchup's here.
69
00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,667
Standing by to enact the plan.
70
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,533
Commencing first test.
71
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:08,100
(coughing)
72
00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:10,200
(dramatic music)
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00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,700
(Bill): Hey, Sally, wait!
74
00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:14,700
Did you miss me?
75
00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:16,900
- Listen, Bill, if you're gonna
be two-faced,
76
00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:18,967
how about you make
one of them good-looking?
77
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:21,166
- Have you forgotten
the good old days,
78
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:23,567
back when we were
partners in crime?
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00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:27,133
- Nope, no, no matter
how hard I try.
80
00:04:29,867 --> 00:04:32,433
- Let me help you
with your film, Sally.
81
00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:36,066
I need this! And so do you.
82
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,934
- I was willing
to give you a chance.
83
00:04:38,066 --> 00:04:40,066
But then, you ditched me
in Antarctica.
84
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,166
That's an asshole move, Bill!
85
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,000
- Hey, how'd you find me here
anyway?
86
00:04:45,133 --> 00:04:49,400
- I saw Red on the news,
so I surmised you'd be here too.
87
00:04:49,533 --> 00:04:51,033
- Oh, hey, there he is!
88
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:54,133
Ah, if I throw you a stick,
Bill, will you leave me alone?
89
00:04:54,266 --> 00:04:57,400
- I swear I've changed, Sally.
90
00:04:57,533 --> 00:04:58,667
- Fuck off.
91
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:04,967
(investigative music)
92
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:05,834
(chuckles)
93
00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:07,767
Okay, how dare you inhibit
94
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:09,567
my transgressive behaviours
95
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:14,333
with your continual
onslaught of derogatory
unconscious biases,
96
00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:16,633
micro-aggressions, which I hate,
97
00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:18,800
and intersectional
regressions.
98
00:05:18,934 --> 00:05:20,867
You're a patriarchal bastard.
99
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,600
(groans)
(woman): You're outta here!
100
00:05:22,734 --> 00:05:24,867
- "The Collected Essays
of Andrea Dworkin"?
101
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,567
Wow, these guys sure lead off
with the big guns.
102
00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:30,400
All righty, ciao, Bill.
(groans)
103
00:05:30,533 --> 00:05:32,867
- All right, Commies,
here I come.
104
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,133
- Huh. This feels like
another one of Sullivan's
105
00:05:36,266 --> 00:05:40,633
bogus missions, so we might
as well enjoy our time here.
106
00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:45,100
I don't know about you,
but I'm a huge comic book fan!
107
00:05:45,233 --> 00:05:47,300
- You mean huge nerd.
108
00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:53,000
- Just because I'm smart
and like cool things doesn't
make me a nerd.
109
00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:57,033
"The legend says that
Templars were after
110
00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:59,200
the Seven Cups
of the Apocalypse,
111
00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:01,233
among other sacred treasures."
112
00:06:01,834 --> 00:06:03,700
- Get serious, Plywood.
113
00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:07,367
- "Seven angels were given
seven cups of God's wrath,
114
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:10,467
after the sounding
of the seven trumpets..."
115
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:11,834
(panting)
116
00:06:11,967 --> 00:06:13,200
(screaming)
(crowd gasping)
117
00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:14,166
(malicious laugh)
118
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:15,166
(screaming)
119
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:16,700
(grunts)
120
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:20,467
- See, Plywood? Nothing
but Commies and degenerates!
121
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:21,900
(groans)
122
00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:25,000
All right Commie, spit it out
123
00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:27,166
or you'll be sleeping
in your own guts tonight!
124
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:28,467
Who are you working for?
125
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:29,767
(groaning)
126
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:31,266
(screaming)
127
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,700
(grunts)
128
00:06:32,834 --> 00:06:34,100
(scream of rage)
129
00:06:34,967 --> 00:06:36,734
- What the hell was
that guy's problem?
130
00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:39,333
Too much sugar?
Not enough My Little Pony?
131
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:42,000
(groans)
- Where are my damn sunglasses?
132
00:06:43,133 --> 00:06:44,400
- Your eyes...
133
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:48,166
(crowd gasping)
You're the real Red Ketchup!
134
00:06:48,934 --> 00:06:51,900
- Who are you? And why are you
dressed like me?
135
00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:55,500
- You're psychotic because
you were bullied by your father!
136
00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:56,800
(groans)
137
00:06:56,934 --> 00:06:58,800
- How do you know about that?
138
00:06:58,934 --> 00:07:01,533
You spying on me, numb nuts?
139
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:02,767
- Like all true heroes,
140
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,233
bullies were bullied
in their youth.
141
00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:06,767
(cool music)
142
00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:08,700
- Dammit, the suspect's gone!
143
00:07:08,834 --> 00:07:12,266
Buzz off or I'll haul
you dorks in for obstruction!
144
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:16,233
- Easy, big guy. They're just
fans of the Red Ketchup comics.
145
00:07:16,367 --> 00:07:20,300
- There's Red Ketchup
comic books? Jesus H. Christ.
146
00:07:20,433 --> 00:07:23,200
- Yeah, that's kind of who
these fans see you as,
147
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:26,567
so let's avoid all
of this undue attention.
148
00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:30,900
- Okay, but I'm not dressing up
like a Star Track.
149
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,967
- "Trek."
- Whatever, nerd!
150
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,266
(gasps)
151
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:41,033
(suspenseful music)
152
00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:42,700
- Hey, fuckface!
153
00:07:42,834 --> 00:07:44,700
How does it feel to be
on national television
154
00:07:44,834 --> 00:07:47,233
for the mass murder
of innocent creatures?
155
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,367
Come on, speak your mind,
Steve.
156
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,900
It is a new format I invented
just for you
157
00:07:52,033 --> 00:07:53,800
called "reality TV."
158
00:07:53,934 --> 00:07:54,734
(groans)
159
00:07:54,867 --> 00:07:56,033
Oh, holy shit, wait a second,
160
00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:57,300
you're not Steve, are you?
161
00:07:58,567 --> 00:08:00,467
Well, there's only one way
to find out.
162
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,567
Steve,
why don't you talk to me
163
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:04,900
about our childhood
for a change, huh?
164
00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:08,633
Tell me, what was
your best memory of Dad?
165
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:11,266
Okay then, you are
definitely not Steve.
166
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,600
The resemblance is
freaky-deaky, though.
167
00:08:14,734 --> 00:08:18,133
I mean, your costume is like
spot on. And your hair.
168
00:08:18,266 --> 00:08:21,333
But Steve would never take off
his sunglasses,
169
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:22,800
not even at night.
170
00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:25,433
His eyes are way too sensitive.
- No filming!
171
00:08:25,567 --> 00:08:27,767
(suspenseful music)
172
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:29,133
- Hey, dude, wait a second!
173
00:08:29,266 --> 00:08:31,200
Can I interview you
for my documentary?
174
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,567
Balls.
175
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:35,066
(medieval music)
176
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,300
- If you want to avoid
attention,
177
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:39,433
why are you dressed like me?
178
00:08:39,567 --> 00:08:41,533
- You're too obvious
as the original Red.
179
00:08:41,667 --> 00:08:43,800
I'm simply blending in.
180
00:08:46,433 --> 00:08:50,433
"The Red Iceberg," "How Stalin
Hopes We Will Destroy America,"
181
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,667
"Is This Tomorrow?,"
"How I Fell for a Commie."
182
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,000
Red, listen to this,
183
00:08:58,133 --> 00:09:02,333
"Today, there are approximately
85,000 official members
184
00:09:02,467 --> 00:09:04,367
of the Communist Party
in the U.S.
185
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:07,266
These people are working
day and night,
186
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,166
laying the groundwork to
overthrow our government."
187
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,700
(groans)
- A nun with blood
on her hands...
188
00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:15,166
That's highly suspicious.
189
00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,834
- "They have wormed their way
into key positions
190
00:09:17,967 --> 00:09:20,333
in government offices,
trade unions...
191
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,667
(Red groans)
and even the Catholic Church."
192
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,333
Red?
193
00:09:25,467 --> 00:09:29,467
(investigative music)
194
00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:36,700
(sighs)
Oh, man, not these kooks.
195
00:09:36,834 --> 00:09:40,333
- They're like giant
gross penguins.
196
00:09:40,467 --> 00:09:42,533
- They're the "Penguins of
the Cross,"
197
00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:46,100
an organization of suburban moms
who are against comic books.
198
00:09:46,233 --> 00:09:48,100
They sometimes do
these protests
199
00:09:48,233 --> 00:09:50,266
where they put red ink in the
sprinkler system
200
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,500
and then spray
comic conventions.
201
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,767
- Why do the organizers
let them in if they might
ink the joint?
202
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:59,700
- If they ban them, the Birds
sue on First Amendment grounds.
203
00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:01,734
I think the red ink is supposed
to represent
204
00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:04,367
the blood of Christ. Or...
205
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,233
maybe the prom scene
from Carrie?
206
00:10:06,367 --> 00:10:08,900
- As long as it doesn't
represent communism.
207
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:12,233
Either way, let's keep
an eye on them.
208
00:10:13,166 --> 00:10:15,600
(static noise)
209
00:10:16,166 --> 00:10:18,867
- Wie geht es dir, mein Schatz?
210
00:10:19,867 --> 00:10:22,867
These nuns' ridiculous protest
is going to be
211
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,000
hijacked by Adam.
212
00:10:25,133 --> 00:10:27,567
He will add
the experimental version
213
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:30,233
of my new nerve gas to the ink.
214
00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:31,467
(kisses)
215
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,967
Anyone who comes in contact
with it
216
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,867
will be infused
with murderous rage.
217
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,467
(malicious laugh)
218
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,967
This is the best way
to test Adam's obedience
219
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,667
to our orders, Pandora.
220
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:48,266
By the same token, we will be
removing America's
221
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:52,734
smartest segment of society:
the nerds.
222
00:10:52,867 --> 00:10:57,600
Now, I'm making the popcorn
for you, mein Spatz.
223
00:10:57,734 --> 00:11:02,100
And we will watch the costumed
comic fans destroy each other
224
00:11:02,233 --> 00:11:05,900
for our first date night
in a long time!
225
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:11,200
(deflated squeal)
(dramatic music)
226
00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:13,433
- Holy!
227
00:11:13,567 --> 00:11:15,667
(cool music)
228
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,200
(chuckling)
229
00:11:17,333 --> 00:11:19,000
Don't you wanna
meet these guys?
230
00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:20,266
(groans)
231
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,967
- Damn! The inky nuns are gone.
232
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,967
This is your fault, Plywood!
233
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,900
Hey, dipshit! No filming!
234
00:11:29,033 --> 00:11:32,133
- Oh, you know what, I just
heard that, but not from you.
235
00:11:32,266 --> 00:11:35,266
I'm shooting a documentary
about you, remember?
236
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,600
- I'm sure it'll bring you
far, Sally.
237
00:11:37,734 --> 00:11:41,633
And this time, please do me
a favour and stay far!
238
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:43,166
- What are you doing here,
Sally?
239
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:45,734
- Peter! Long time no see!
240
00:11:45,867 --> 00:11:47,667
Love the costume, by the way.
241
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,934
- Get lost, Sally. We've got
serious work to do.
242
00:11:51,066 --> 00:11:54,533
"Serious" as in shooting
these penguins in Antarctica?
243
00:11:54,667 --> 00:11:57,533
(groans)
Don't be ashamed
of what you did, Steve.
244
00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:58,934
Everybody else is.
245
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,166
- Innocent lives are
at stake here,
246
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,834
and it's my duty to save them.
247
00:12:03,967 --> 00:12:08,200
- Oh, that's right, I forgot
the entire world is waiting
248
00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:09,900
for you to be saved.
249
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:12,266
My apologies, how stupid of me.
250
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:16,100
- Did you say something, Sally?
'Cause all I heard was a fart.
251
00:12:16,233 --> 00:12:19,000
- Fart jokes.
You're going with fart jokes.
252
00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:20,834
Just like when you were five.
253
00:12:20,967 --> 00:12:22,567
(groans)
Don't worry, Steve,
254
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,567
the first 40 years of childhood
are the toughest.
255
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:28,200
You're almost through it,
though, buddy. Just keep on
trucking.
256
00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:32,000
- Buzz off, Sally! And quit
following me once and for all!
257
00:12:32,834 --> 00:12:34,500
- Yeah, the reason
I tag along is just
258
00:12:34,633 --> 00:12:36,867
so I don't have
to kiss you goodbye.
259
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:37,800
- Huh?
260
00:12:37,934 --> 00:12:39,667
- What are you dorks looking at?
261
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,367
And I'm totally fine
if you say my ass.
262
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:42,867
(gasping)
263
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,800
(Fournier): Uh,
sorry to interrupt...
264
00:12:44,934 --> 00:12:47,000
Are you Sally Ketchup?
265
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,734
- That depends on who's asking.
266
00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:52,266
- I believe we've invented you
and your brother Steve.
267
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,100
- In our comics that is.
268
00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:56,100
- Yeah, I've read your comics.
269
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,834
So, what's the deal
here, guys, huh?
270
00:12:57,967 --> 00:12:59,867
You spying on my family
since childhood?
271
00:13:00,066 --> 00:13:02,333
What, are you sickos
or just weirdos?
272
00:13:02,467 --> 00:13:04,967
- Oh, no, no, believe us,
all of this is pure coincidence.
273
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:07,333
This should be
on the next episode of
"Unsolved Mysteries."
274
00:13:07,467 --> 00:13:10,967
- Don't play who's most
esoteric with me, Frenchie,
275
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,367
'cause you'll lose.
276
00:13:12,934 --> 00:13:14,834
- In fact, our books have
suddenly gained
277
00:13:14,967 --> 00:13:17,934
a lot of popularity since
they happen to depict events
278
00:13:18,066 --> 00:13:20,300
that turned out to be
true in real life!
279
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:24,767
- How dare you? This is
an invasion of our private life!
280
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:27,033
Plus, you're scooping
my documentary out
281
00:13:27,166 --> 00:13:29,133
from underneath me!
I will sue you,
282
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,600
and then, I'll beat
the shit out of you!
283
00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:32,400
(clears throat)
284
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:34,900
You assholes!
285
00:13:36,266 --> 00:13:37,934
- Come on, Deadwood!
286
00:13:38,066 --> 00:13:39,734
We have to find the
"Penguins of the Cross"
287
00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:42,567
and stop their stupid ink plan.
288
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:43,700
(Red gulps)
- You got it!
289
00:13:43,834 --> 00:13:46,800
Let's nail those Tipper Gore
wannabes.
290
00:13:46,934 --> 00:13:51,367
(suspenseful music)
291
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:57,066
(laughing)
- Hey, what the hell
are you geeks doing?!
292
00:13:58,233 --> 00:14:01,734
(crowd cheering)
293
00:14:01,867 --> 00:14:05,667
Every single dork out there
is dressed like me.
294
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,900
- I know! Cool, right?
295
00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:12,967
(fan): Red, tell us everything!
296
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:17,100
(Red): All right, who are
these fucking assholes...
297
00:14:17,934 --> 00:14:20,633
- Sally, won't you
introduce us to Red?
298
00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:23,667
- Guys, seriously,
you're ruining my shot!
299
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,467
Don't you nerds have books
to sign? Or anything else to do?
300
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:31,967
- All we want is talk to him
face to face for a few minutes.
301
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:35,100
- Look, guys. I can't
introduce you to Red.
302
00:14:35,233 --> 00:14:36,033
(both sigh)
303
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,967
- But I can offer you
304
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:39,400
the next best thing:
305
00:14:40,066 --> 00:14:42,033
Bill Bélisle!
(gasps)
306
00:14:42,166 --> 00:14:44,333
I know he's also a star
of your comics,
307
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:47,700
and he happens to be here
at the convention.
308
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,266
But if, and I mean if,
309
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,166
I do introduce you to him,
310
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:57,200
you have to swear to me to stop
inventing stories about us.
311
00:14:57,333 --> 00:14:58,166
(giggling)
312
00:14:58,300 --> 00:14:59,400
No more inventing!
313
00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:01,667
(crowd cheering)
(groans)
314
00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:04,400
(microphone feedback)
315
00:15:04,533 --> 00:15:05,367
- I've had enough.
316
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:06,433
(door slamming)
317
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,567
- Um, I may not look like much
to you guys,
318
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:15,300
uh, not even close to being
"the next best thing" after Red,
319
00:15:15,433 --> 00:15:19,100
uh, but I'm actually Red's
partner on the field.
320
00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:20,467
(crowd gasping)
321
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,567
I'm not sure why the authors
haven't included me
322
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:23,900
in their comics yet.
323
00:15:24,033 --> 00:15:25,400
But uh, who knows,
324
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,633
perhaps I'll pop up
at some point.
325
00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:29,300
(cheering and whistling)
326
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,333
(sniffing)
327
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,066
(gasps)
328
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,400
(grave music)
329
00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:38,834
(groans)
330
00:15:38,967 --> 00:15:40,066
(nun): Oh...
331
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:42,867
All right, you dirty penguin,
332
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,200
what happened?
Who did this to you?
333
00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:47,767
(whimpers)
334
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:53,400
(groans)
335
00:15:53,533 --> 00:15:54,667
(pencil scribbling)
336
00:15:55,834 --> 00:15:57,000
(groans)
337
00:15:57,133 --> 00:15:58,233
- Sorry folks,
338
00:15:58,367 --> 00:16:01,300
time to go back to work, eh!
(crowd laughing)
339
00:16:01,433 --> 00:16:04,033
- A guy who looks like me
kidnapped the nuns
340
00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:05,934
and demanded to know
where they accessed
341
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,033
the sprinkler pipes
for their ink.
342
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:11,100
(gasps)
- So, those skanks were gonna
ink the convention?
343
00:16:11,233 --> 00:16:14,867
- Yeah, but this double of me is
aiming to do a lot worse.
344
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,934
(sniffing)
I can smell it.
345
00:16:17,066 --> 00:16:20,367
Which is amazing because
this place smells like ass.
346
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:24,500
- Cleanliness and nerdliness
rarely go hand-in-hand.
347
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:28,433
(romantic jazz music)
348
00:16:28,567 --> 00:16:30,600
- I figured I'd find you here.
349
00:16:30,734 --> 00:16:32,800
- Old habits die hard.
350
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,767
Like your bitterness
towards me, I reckon.
351
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:38,734
- Okay, just listen
and don't talk.
352
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:39,867
I need a favour.
353
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:43,066
Let's put aside the fact that
you screwed me over
354
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,100
by running off with Boobs.
- Babs.
355
00:16:46,233 --> 00:16:47,734
Barbara, actually.
356
00:16:47,867 --> 00:16:49,467
And she ditched me.
357
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,734
She said I wasn't trustworthy.
358
00:16:51,867 --> 00:16:54,166
- Huh, sounds like her brains
are even bigger than her tits,
359
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:55,500
which is saying something.
360
00:16:55,633 --> 00:16:57,266
Now, let's also put aside that
361
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,934
you ran off on me
down in Antarctica.
362
00:17:00,133 --> 00:17:03,400
- You sank my boat
and stranded me in the ocean!
363
00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:05,934
- Yeah, that was in reprisal,
therefore justified.
364
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:07,266
But you know what,
never mind that.
365
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,367
I am here to eat a big old
slice of humble pie
366
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,633
and ask for your help.
367
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,066
Ah. Despite the fact that
I barely like you
368
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,533
and I definitely
don't trust you.
369
00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:22,033
- Okay, you got it.
370
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,066
- And I will not owe you
for helping me,
371
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,734
and it will not lead
to us having sex.
372
00:17:28,533 --> 00:17:29,700
- Okay.
373
00:17:29,834 --> 00:17:31,700
- Because you have a way
of weaselling yourself
374
00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:34,033
into my bed and I-- wait,
hang on, what did you say?
375
00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:36,834
- I said yes, I'll help you.
376
00:17:36,967 --> 00:17:38,567
- Okay, that was easier
than I thought.
377
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:42,834
- So, when exactly do you eat
the humble pie?
378
00:17:42,967 --> 00:17:45,667
- Never. That was just
an expression now, come on.
379
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:50,600
Jesus Christ,
oh, here I go again.
380
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,367
(crowd chatting)
381
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:58,734
(suspenseful music)
382
00:17:58,867 --> 00:17:59,867
(dramatic bell)
383
00:18:00,066 --> 00:18:00,934
(groans)
384
00:18:01,066 --> 00:18:03,266
(intense music)
(bomb ticking)
385
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,867
(groans)
386
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:15,900
What's wrong?
- Godbout and Fournier won't
bother you again.
387
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:20,633
In fact, they were quite
disappointed with me.
388
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,633
They said I'm not
the man I should be.
389
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:26,433
- Oh, God bless them,
it is about time
390
00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:28,900
you realize this,
seriously.
391
00:18:29,033 --> 00:18:32,333
- The Bill Bélisle in
their comics is independent,
392
00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:36,633
autonomous, while I'm apparently
needy, obsessed with sex,
393
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,367
and your little dog.
394
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:41,467
But I know I'm not
the "perfect asshole"
395
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,100
they're describing.
396
00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:47,233
Sally, will you please
give me another chance?
397
00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:49,967
- I still don't trust you, Bill.
398
00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:52,900
Yeah, sure, you helped me out,
but only to get on my good side.
399
00:18:53,033 --> 00:18:54,734
As if I only have one.
400
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,400
- Okay, so here's my offer:
401
00:18:57,533 --> 00:19:00,367
if you agree to let me come
along with you,
402
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:04,667
I promise to not report
on Red Ketchup again
403
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,133
until the documentary is
complete.
404
00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:08,567
That way, you can be sure
405
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,400
I'm not there to scoop
your story.
406
00:19:10,533 --> 00:19:11,667
Deal?
407
00:19:12,967 --> 00:19:14,467
(romantic jazz music)
408
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,166
(groans)
409
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,200
- Ugh!
410
00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:20,967
- Oh, yeah.
411
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:24,000
You know we make a good team.
412
00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:25,400
(record scratch)
- Okay, all right, fine,
413
00:19:25,533 --> 00:19:27,300
you can come with me,
but it's only to help, okay?
414
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,200
I am not sleeping
with you again.
415
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,467
Ever. Like ever.
416
00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:33,533
Okay, maybe if I get a little
bit drunk, but that's it.
417
00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:37,533
(fighting grunts)
418
00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:38,934
(crowd gasping)
419
00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:42,600
(intense music)
420
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:46,834
(groans)
421
00:19:47,834 --> 00:19:49,600
(scream of rage)
422
00:19:49,734 --> 00:19:51,767
(bomb ticking)
423
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,100
(fighting grunts)
424
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:01,333
- I knew it: Dr. K's
behind this!
425
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:04,367
- This is the first
of many attacks.
426
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:07,834
You see, Dr. K made us smarter
than the original host.
427
00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:10,200
If your brain was dynamite,
428
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:13,567
there wouldn't be enough
to blow your hat off.
429
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:15,633
- Right back at you...
430
00:20:15,767 --> 00:20:17,000
Dad.
431
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:19,834
- Oh, yeah, smarty-pants?
432
00:20:20,633 --> 00:20:24,000
My guess is Dr. K's created
a nerve gas
433
00:20:24,133 --> 00:20:27,333
that turns people into
kill-crazy nut jobs.
434
00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:30,066
Like the guy dressed
as Deputy Penguin.
435
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,533
Gag once for "yes,"
twice for "no."
436
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,667
(one gagging sound)
437
00:20:36,533 --> 00:20:39,367
- Red, the gas bomb is
about to go off!
438
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,567
(crowd panicking)
439
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,200
(bomb ticking)
440
00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:47,000
What are you doing?
441
00:20:47,133 --> 00:20:49,400
- Better dead than red.
442
00:20:51,567 --> 00:20:55,467
(suspenseful music)
443
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:56,934
(bomb ticking rapidly)
444
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,934
(deep inhale)
445
00:21:04,066 --> 00:21:06,266
(deep exhale)
446
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,934
(coughing)
447
00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:09,367
(sniffing and groaning)
448
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,400
(sirens wailing in distance)
449
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,433
(Fournier): Uh,
Monsieur Ketchup?
450
00:21:17,033 --> 00:21:18,633
- What do you want?
451
00:21:18,767 --> 00:21:20,033
- Uh, uh, well,
452
00:21:20,166 --> 00:21:22,433
we were drawn
to the commotion earlier, hein,
453
00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:24,433
and after you ran outside,
454
00:21:24,567 --> 00:21:27,066
your double escaped
the handcuffs.
455
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,533
- And took your partner
Plywood hostage!
456
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,633
- Plywood...
457
00:21:33,767 --> 00:21:36,200
Kind of a cool name
for an FBI agent,
458
00:21:36,333 --> 00:21:37,266
hein, Réal?
459
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,667
(shouting): Plywood!
460
00:22:08,767 --> 00:22:11,700
Subtitling: difuze
33244
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