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1
00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:06,333
and may contain
mature subject matter.
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00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:09,467
Viewer discretion
is advised.
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00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,433
and may contain
matur(theme music)ter.
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00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:37,533
- Ohh...
(groaning)
5
00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:39,100
(chuckling)
6
00:00:43,967 --> 00:00:45,467
Oh!
7
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,667
I've never seen a body
as toned as yours.
8
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,667
Or as veiny and girthy.
9
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,567
I want you, Red, badly.
10
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:59,166
So, take me, take me now.
11
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,900
(giggling)
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00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:05,100
It's like a fire consuming
my body from within.
13
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,467
(laughing)
14
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,133
- The vicious Fräulein
is an expert at playing
15
00:01:10,266 --> 00:01:12,934
the Russian
"femme fatale" cliché!
16
00:01:13,066 --> 00:01:15,100
(moaning)
- Oh... There's no need
17
00:01:15,233 --> 00:01:16,567
for this egregious seduction.
18
00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:19,600
- But, Herr Balenko,
their copulation could be
19
00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:23,800
the first step in spawning a
superior race of super-humans!
20
00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:28,600
Fräulein Dynamo is the perfect
Kandidat for this experiment.
21
00:01:28,734 --> 00:01:30,667
She embodies all of the robust
22
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,266
qualities of the Soviet people.
23
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,934
(Pervy giggles)
24
00:01:36,066 --> 00:01:39,600
Plus some of the
filthier qualities.
25
00:01:39,734 --> 00:01:43,100
Ja. Ein sehr schöner Kandidat!
26
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:45,266
(chuckling)
(sighing)
27
00:01:46,533 --> 00:01:48,200
- Give me a break.
28
00:01:48,333 --> 00:01:49,567
What kind of stupid country
29
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:51,967
can't make
a "quintuple screwdriver".
30
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:55,166
Honestly, it's just four shots
of vodka and orange juice!
31
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:59,000
- Orange juice is not permitted
in Soviet Union.
32
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:03,533
Its sweetness leads
to sexual liberation
and counterrevolution.
33
00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:07,400
- Oh... well, look
what the cat dragged in.
34
00:02:07,533 --> 00:02:09,800
After it gnawed off your lip.
35
00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:14,166
Ah, I haven't done
light bondage since college,
36
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,834
but hey, let's go...
37
00:02:16,967 --> 00:02:20,333
Let's talk turkey here,
what trumped-up charge
are you bring me in on?
38
00:02:20,467 --> 00:02:22,533
- Aiding and abetting
a serial killer.
39
00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:24,967
And impersonating a Canadian.
40
00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:27,400
- Oh, pfft, give me a break,
that's ridiculous.
41
00:02:27,533 --> 00:02:30,834
No one, and I mean no one,
42
00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:33,967
in their right mind,
would impersonate a Canadian.
43
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,867
As for the other thing,
when a psycho killer
44
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,633
asks me for help,
I give it to him.
45
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:41,867
I mean mainly, you know,
so he doesn't eat my face.
46
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,266
Ah shit, hang on, my bar tab...
47
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,800
I think I owe, I don't know,
3000 roubles,
48
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,000
sounds about right?
49
00:02:49,066 --> 00:02:50,467
Don't fucking judge me!
50
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,066
sI was traumatized, okay?
I needed some alcohol.
51
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:57,500
Ya! Free drinks, bitches! Woo!
52
00:02:57,633 --> 00:02:59,166
(groaning)
53
00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:01,066
(sensual music)
54
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,700
- Show me how you Americans
make love.
55
00:03:05,767 --> 00:03:07,233
Oh...
56
00:03:07,367 --> 00:03:08,967
- Mein Gott!
57
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:11,100
This becomes interesting!
58
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,000
(moaning)
59
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:17,033
Uh... it seems our
Meerschweinchen Ketchup
is slow to react.
60
00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:21,066
Perhaps he is eine homosexual
like his partner?
61
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:25,433
Or is it a ploy too obvious...
even for an American?
62
00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:27,166
(moaning)
63
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:28,533
(giggling)
64
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:31,266
- Don't wait any longer, Red.
65
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,233
Give in to your desire.
66
00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:34,867
(groaning)
67
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,433
Ugh, am I not your type?
68
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:40,133
Hmm, perhaps you don't trust me?
69
00:03:40,266 --> 00:03:43,567
Or maybe this electric field
is holding you back.
70
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:45,300
(whirring)
71
00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:48,767
(groaning)
72
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:50,600
Ah...
73
00:03:50,734 --> 00:03:52,400
(sensual music)
74
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,233
(grunting)
(glass breaking)
75
00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:03,367
- Ha! Oh, that's
a new low, Dr. K.
76
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:06,800
Making communist pornography.
77
00:04:08,834 --> 00:04:10,667
(alarm sounding)
- Ugh, you were filming this,
78
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:17,000
you pervert!
Ugh, never trust Nazis.
79
00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:19,433
mu)
80
00:04:19,567 --> 00:04:22,367
(alarm blaring)
81
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,000
(screaming)
82
00:04:28,233 --> 00:04:30,500
(elevator dinging)
83
00:04:30,633 --> 00:04:32,066
(elevator dinging)
84
00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:37,900
(groaning)
- Hey, Tolstoy,
85
00:04:38,033 --> 00:04:40,433
you're boring and you suck.
86
00:04:40,567 --> 00:04:43,433
Hemingway says, "Hello."
87
00:04:46,333 --> 00:04:47,667
- Ah!
88
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,200
(screaming)
89
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,333
(rhythmic music)
90
00:04:55,834 --> 00:04:57,867
- Strap in, suckers.
91
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,734
(screaming)
92
00:05:05,066 --> 00:05:07,700
- He's escaped on a bus
with two hostages.
93
00:05:07,834 --> 00:05:09,133
We could simply blow it up.
94
00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:11,600
Two hostages is acceptable
collateral damage.
95
00:05:11,734 --> 00:05:13,600
- I need Ketchup alive!
96
00:05:13,734 --> 00:05:15,834
No matter what
the collateral damage!
97
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,000
- Incidentally, Herr Doctor,
98
00:05:18,133 --> 00:05:21,333
how dare you film
my seduction of Ketchup!
99
00:05:21,467 --> 00:05:24,400
- Never mind that!
I want Ketchup!
100
00:05:28,533 --> 00:05:33,066
By the way, there are sink holes
appearing all over Moscow.
101
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,700
They're blaming them
on counter-revolutionaries,
102
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:40,166
but let's be honest, it's poor
Soviet construction.
103
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:43,667
- Thank you for wasting my time
with irrelevant details.
104
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,834
- Just letting you know.
105
00:05:45,967 --> 00:05:48,133
(engine revving)
- Oh, you were fool enough
106
00:05:48,266 --> 00:05:50,233
to think I was attracted
to you, Ketchup...
107
00:05:50,367 --> 00:05:53,266
Ha! Now the real chase begins.
108
00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:57,867
(dramatic music)
109
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:07,133
(gunshots)
110
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:11,400
- Huh?
- We might die... why not?
111
00:06:13,233 --> 00:06:15,400
- Pull over!
You can't escape.
112
00:06:15,533 --> 00:06:19,467
- I hate to break it to you,
but I am escaping.
113
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:27,867
- Ha! Oh, always with the smart
mouth, that Ketchup.
114
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:36,367
- Come on, Tarkovsky,
let's talk it over.
115
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:39,767
Like, hey listen,
is that light bondage thing
still on the table there?
116
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:44,400
- This is secret KGB facility,
so, probably yes.
117
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:47,867
- Aww... Will you visit me
in the gulag?
118
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:52,834
- Lapotchka, you're cute, but
it's too bloody cold up there.
119
00:06:55,467 --> 00:06:58,033
- And... there goes
my documentary.
120
00:06:58,166 --> 00:06:59,967
- Let me help you with this.
121
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,600
(sensual music)
122
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,066
Well, the, uh,
tape's still intact.
123
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,600
What are you, some kind
of anti-communist filmmaker?
124
00:07:12,734 --> 00:07:15,600
- I'm more interested
in my brother, okay?
125
00:07:15,734 --> 00:07:17,333
- Oh, it's you!
126
00:07:17,467 --> 00:07:20,100
Funny, he never talks
about you.
127
00:07:20,233 --> 00:07:22,767
- Please, has he ever talked
about anything personal?
128
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,900
I've barely spoken to the guy
in thirty years,
129
00:07:25,033 --> 00:07:27,400
except for like, what,
three minutes a week ago?
130
00:07:27,533 --> 00:07:31,233
- And you came all the way
to Moscow to continue
the conversation?
131
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:33,467
- Yeah, yeah,
something like that.
132
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,467
But instead, I wound up
in a dark cell,
133
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:40,100
in darkest Russia,
with a handsome FBI agent.
134
00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:41,900
Hooah!
135
00:07:43,567 --> 00:07:46,567
- Ah!
(retching)
136
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,266
- Uh, not as smooth as when it
goes down, that's for sure.
137
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,100
- Oh, dear...
138
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:54,467
- To hell with you, Dynamo.
139
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,533
You can't stop me!
140
00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:58,400
Nothing can stop
141
00:07:58,533 --> 00:08:00,767
Steve Red Ketch...
(gunshots)
142
00:08:01,967 --> 00:08:03,367
(creaking)
143
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:04,367
(chuckling)
144
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:05,934
She got my tire,
145
00:08:06,066 --> 00:08:08,333
but she won't get me.
(tires screeching)
146
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:13,567
- Yeah, so after
the serial killer and I
snuck off the train,
147
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:17,033
I figured might as well try to
find this Komrade Ultra program.
148
00:08:17,166 --> 00:08:19,367
- Sounds like secret
agent skills run
149
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,934
in the Ketchup family.
Along with substance abuse.
150
00:08:23,066 --> 00:08:26,300
I need to get the hell out
of here and contact the Chief.
151
00:08:26,433 --> 00:08:27,834
- God, this would be
a piece of cake
152
00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:30,000
if we were at Komrade Ultra
head-quarters.
153
00:08:30,133 --> 00:08:31,934
Lem actually told me
the door codes.
154
00:08:32,066 --> 00:08:34,533
- We are at Komrade Ultra
headquarters!
155
00:08:34,667 --> 00:08:36,700
How did you not realize that?
- Hey!
156
00:08:36,834 --> 00:08:39,000
You know what, it's not like
we passed a neon sign
157
00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:42,233
on the way in, all right?
- Ugh, buckle up!
158
00:08:42,367 --> 00:08:44,400
Let's get going!
- Yeah, one problem.
159
00:08:44,533 --> 00:08:46,233
(clears throat)
I...
160
00:08:46,367 --> 00:08:48,467
(coughing)
...cannot remember the codes.
161
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,033
God, I'm still hammered.
162
00:08:50,166 --> 00:08:51,867
Holy hammered.
163
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,000
- Just think really hard.
164
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,533
But try not to puke on me again.
165
00:08:59,834 --> 00:09:01,567
(groaning)
166
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,000
(motorcycle revving)
167
00:09:09,834 --> 00:09:11,700
- Ah!
(groaning)
168
00:09:11,834 --> 00:09:15,300
- Dead or alive, you're coming
with me, Ketchup.
169
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:18,100
- Think, Sally.
170
00:09:18,233 --> 00:09:19,867
It can't be
that hard to remember.
171
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,100
- Listen, man, I'm just
a civilian, okay?
172
00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:25,233
- Oh! It's a door code.
173
00:09:25,367 --> 00:09:29,567
Not 3.141592653589...
174
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:31,433
- Okay hang on, wait,
back in school,
175
00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:34,000
I was failing math big time.
I know, shocker.
176
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:38,934
I couldn't remember anything
to do with numbers, so...
my dad "helped" me.
177
00:09:39,066 --> 00:09:40,400
(screaming)
178
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,567
You gotta slap me, Plywood.
- What is this?
179
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:47,266
Blue Velvet?
I'm not slapping you.
180
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,533
- Seriously, you'll knock
the numbers loose.
181
00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:51,567
I mean, I know
it sounds horrible,
182
00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:54,100
and completely
politically incorrect, but...
183
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:56,133
I'm here to tell you, it works.
184
00:09:56,266 --> 00:09:58,700
- No, slapping a woman is wrong.
185
00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:01,133
- Look, dude,
if you wanna get me out of here,
186
00:10:01,266 --> 00:10:02,900
you gotta slap me.
187
00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:05,967
And then... I don't know,
maybe a little light spanking.
188
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:09,233
(chuckling)
- Sally, I'm no Emil Kraepelin,
189
00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:11,700
but I'd say both you
and your brother
190
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:13,700
suffer from traumatic
re-enactment syndrome.
191
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:15,734
- Holy shit balls!
I remember now!
192
00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:18,000
The door code,
it's Kraepelin's birthday.
193
00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:20,700
- A German psychiatrist's
birthday is the code?
194
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:22,567
(door beeping)
195
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:24,934
Aren't you glad we didn't
resort to slapping?
196
00:10:25,066 --> 00:10:28,066
- I... Well, where are we
on the spanking?
197
00:10:28,834 --> 00:10:31,066
(grunting)
198
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:36,767
- You seem to be
holding back, Ketchup.
199
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:38,700
Is it because I'm a woman,
200
00:10:38,834 --> 00:10:41,000
or is your freakish
strength failing you?
201
00:10:41,133 --> 00:10:44,667
(groaning)
- You're a freak, boy.
202
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,266
A freak!
203
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:51,900
- I am not a freak,
you lying commie!
204
00:10:52,033 --> 00:10:53,433
(grunting)
205
00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:55,800
(rumbling)
- Vot der'mo...
206
00:10:55,934 --> 00:10:57,700
Dr. K warned me about these!
207
00:11:00,233 --> 00:11:01,333
(grunting)
208
00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:04,033
(groaning)
209
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:06,967
Ah, ah! I'll see you
in hell, Ketchup!
210
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,033
- Oh, heading home, are ya?
211
00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:12,133
(grunting)
212
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:23,300
(spitting)
Damn Commies...
213
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:26,500
- So, any chance
you happen to be single?
214
00:11:26,633 --> 00:11:29,633
- Um, let's just say I'm...
215
00:11:29,767 --> 00:11:33,600
in a serious relationship
with my career.
216
00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,133
- Yeah, my Russian's
kind of rusty,
217
00:11:37,266 --> 00:11:40,000
but I think that says "rejects".
218
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:44,533
- Whoa. Look at the lats
and pecs on those guys.
219
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,800
- Oh! Scooch over!
- Ugh!
220
00:11:50,066 --> 00:11:52,433
- I don't know,
I think that means "Exit"?
221
00:11:52,567 --> 00:11:55,700
- And what if it means "Horrible
Room of Torture and Death"?
222
00:11:55,834 --> 00:11:58,333
- All right, look,
the only way to find out
223
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,433
is to run a gauntlet
of sleeping rejects
224
00:12:00,567 --> 00:12:02,266
from a Soviet
super-soldier program.
225
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:03,467
Got it?
226
00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,400
(door closing)
227
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,533
(groaning)
228
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:18,834
(beeping)
Oh, yes!
229
00:12:18,967 --> 00:12:21,033
(groaning)
- Ah!
230
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:25,033
- It is about to be raining men,
and not the way I like.
231
00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:28,567
- Sally? Sally Ketchup?
232
00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:31,100
Is this you?
- No way!
233
00:12:31,233 --> 00:12:33,033
Yevgeny Bonkofski!
234
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,767
Yeah, he and I used
to get it on... all the time.
235
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:41,266
- Man, you Ketchups
are a wild, wild ride.
236
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:46,100
- I hear that Ketchup
was last seen walking down
237
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,533
Gorky Street to the South.
238
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:51,700
We need to intercept him
before he reaches Red Square
239
00:12:51,834 --> 00:12:55,166
or you and I are both
out of a job, General!
240
00:12:55,300 --> 00:13:00,367
Where the hell is that
incompetent pair of bosoms
known as Dynamo?!
241
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:02,300
- I'm here.
242
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,300
- Explain yourself!
243
00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:07,700
Why haven't you
captured Ketchup?
244
00:13:07,834 --> 00:13:10,467
- Because I ran into a pothole
that's the size
245
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,734
of Ronald Regan's ego,
that's why!
246
00:13:12,867 --> 00:13:14,567
- Ah, you imbecile!
247
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:17,467
I warned you about
the sinkholes, didn't I?
248
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:21,867
Now go get Ketchup
or you'll be digging yourself
into your own grave!
249
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:26,033
And I mean that literally,
you ignorant Soviet strumpet!
250
00:13:26,166 --> 00:13:27,367
- Ah...
251
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,867
(chuckling)
252
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,500
Remember when I said
we would have words
253
00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:35,867
about you videotaping me
with Ketchup, Dr. K?
254
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,300
I think I'll speak
with actions instead...
255
00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:40,233
- What do you mean?
256
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,133
(screaming in slow motion)
257
00:13:44,266 --> 00:13:46,433
- Ah! Ah!
(moaning in pain)
258
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:48,100
(chuckling)
259
00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:50,500
(moaning in pain)
260
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:54,133
(bell tolling)
261
00:13:55,867 --> 00:14:00,100
- Time to wipe Communism off
the face of the earth forever.
262
00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:03,867
Except for Cuba, China,
North Korea, Angola,
263
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:08,200
and parts of Eastern Europe...
But they're next!
264
00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:11,166
(shouting indistinctly)
265
00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:13,233
- Huh?
266
00:14:13,367 --> 00:14:15,400
- Let me talk to him first.
267
00:14:15,533 --> 00:14:18,133
Ketchup, surrender now,
or we open fire!
268
00:14:18,266 --> 00:14:22,900
- I can smell your filthy breath
from here, Dynamo!
269
00:14:23,934 --> 00:14:25,767
(laughing)
270
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,066
(clears throat)
271
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,667
- This is your last chance
to get out of this alive, Red.
272
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,500
- This is on you and Dr. K,
273
00:14:34,633 --> 00:14:38,100
and Moscow will pay
for your betrayal.
274
00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:41,066
It's just you and me,
275
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,867
come and face me once
and for all, Communism.
276
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,433
(yelling)
277
00:14:46,567 --> 00:14:48,266
(screaming)
278
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,433
(yelling)
279
00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:52,233
(soldiers screaming)
280
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:57,767
(eerie music)
281
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,834
(chirping)
282
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:04,633
(beeping)
283
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:08,133
(beeping intensifying)
284
00:15:08,266 --> 00:15:10,734
(screaming)
285
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:17,000
(screaming)
286
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:20,433
- What in the name of
Pasternak's poems is he doing?!
287
00:15:21,834 --> 00:15:23,767
Oh no, penguins!
288
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,166
Come on!
289
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,734
(screaming)
290
00:15:30,533 --> 00:15:33,633
- Sir, you must leave your
Kalashnikov at the front desk!
291
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,233
(groaning)
292
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,934
(gunfire)
(screaming)
293
00:15:40,066 --> 00:15:42,900
(glass breaking)
(crashing)
294
00:15:45,066 --> 00:15:47,867
(baby crying)
295
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,066
(squawking)
296
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,266
(grunting)
297
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:03,000
- Get the hell off me,
I gotta kill those penguins!
298
00:16:03,133 --> 00:16:07,700
Take this, ya Leninist mollusk!
299
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:10,867
(sighing)
300
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,066
- Yeah, I was covering
the 1976 Olympics
301
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,000
in Montreal for Rolling Stone.
302
00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:17,567
Yevgeny here was on the Soviet
weight-lifting team.
303
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:20,166
Our eyes met across
a crowded press room...
304
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,567
- And we fell deeply in love.
305
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:26,033
- Yeah, fell into the sack
is more like it.
306
00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:27,600
Anyway, when the Games ended,
307
00:16:27,734 --> 00:16:29,433
he had to go back behind
the Iron Curtain.
308
00:16:29,567 --> 00:16:31,367
Also, he was pretty clingy.
309
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:32,900
- You don't say...
310
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:36,300
- Clearly, our reunion
was written in stars, no?
311
00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:38,133
- See what I'm saying?
312
00:16:38,266 --> 00:16:41,500
Hey, Yevgeny, can you drop us
off at the Canadian embassy?
313
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:45,567
- Can agent man give Yevgeny
asylum in Canada?
314
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,000
- Oh, I would be happy to.
315
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:51,900
Oh... I mean, uh,
that's not my call, sir.
316
00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:54,266
Chances are slim.
317
00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:09,900
- We - If I had a nickel, but
yofor every time some scumbag
318
00:17:10,033 --> 00:17:12,233
told me we were alike,
319
00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:15,867
I could afford to buy you
a personality.
320
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,033
- Others don't see it, but I do.
321
00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:21,133
You're a good soul, Red Ketchup.
- Cram it.
322
00:17:21,266 --> 00:17:24,066
- You're a decent man
with a sense of duty and honor.
323
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,967
But so angry.
(groaning)
324
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:30,133
Who hurt you, Red?
Who made you this way?
325
00:17:31,266 --> 00:17:33,367
- I'm warning you...
326
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,433
- Because whoever did it,
they were wrong.
327
00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:37,000
You didn't deserve it.
328
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,600
In your whole life,
have you ever had
329
00:17:43,734 --> 00:17:45,867
a kind word from anyone?
330
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,567
Let me in, Red.
I can help you.
331
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:53,500
(epic music)
332
00:17:53,633 --> 00:17:54,967
Now!
333
00:17:56,266 --> 00:17:58,500
(gasping)
(screaming)
334
00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:03,667
(crying)
335
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,433
- Look, I'm sorry Yevgeny,
336
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:08,066
but, you know, I just don't see
a future for us together.
337
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,400
1976 was a long time ago.
338
00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:13,200
(sniffing)
Also, you really need a shower.
339
00:18:13,333 --> 00:18:16,400
Dude, you are ripe.
- Farewell, Sally.
340
00:18:16,533 --> 00:18:21,667
Somewhere, my love,
we may yet be together.
341
00:18:24,767 --> 00:18:28,200
- We did it, Ketchup!
Uh, I mean Sally.
342
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:30,400
- Hey, now we can get
to know each other
343
00:18:30,533 --> 00:18:32,700
on the ten-hour
flight back home.
344
00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:35,367
- Uh, yeah...
I'll send you on ahead.
345
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,834
I should call in a debrief
to headquarters.
346
00:18:37,967 --> 00:18:39,433
(chuckling)
- Well, after that,
347
00:18:39,567 --> 00:18:42,433
I could "debrief" you
on the plane.
348
00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:44,600
Ever heard of
the mile-high club?
349
00:18:44,734 --> 00:18:47,066
(laughing nervously)
- Funny...
350
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,133
Let's get you on that plane.
351
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:53,066
Great to meet you, Sally. Bye!
352
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,700
Taxi!
(tires screeching)
353
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,867
- Ah, crap...
(car door closing)
354
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,867
Why are the handsome ones
always married to their work?
355
00:19:00,767 --> 00:19:02,800
(groaning)
356
00:19:06,266 --> 00:19:08,166
(grunting)
357
00:19:12,066 --> 00:19:17,433
- Once again, you find yourself
in my clutches, Ketchup.
358
00:19:17,567 --> 00:19:22,266
Meine time here in Russia
has come to an end.
359
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:27,000
I have not the resources
to take you with me, Ketchup.
360
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:30,367
(laughing)
361
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:35,967
- Could you explain to me how
you can fuck such an ugly wife?
362
00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:39,967
(groaning)
363
00:19:44,867 --> 00:19:46,934
(chuckling)
364
00:19:49,266 --> 00:19:52,834
- Komrade Ultra
is being shuttered,
365
00:19:52,967 --> 00:19:57,600
but you haven't seen
the last of me, Ketchup!
366
00:20:03,433 --> 00:20:05,266
(groaning)
367
00:20:07,266 --> 00:20:09,300
- We need to rid Mother Russia
368
00:20:09,433 --> 00:20:11,700
of this Ketchup vermin,
for good.
369
00:20:11,834 --> 00:20:14,467
Anyone have any ideas?
370
00:20:15,734 --> 00:20:18,000
(whispering)
371
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:22,033
(chuckling)
Oh, that's brilliant, General.
372
00:20:22,166 --> 00:20:23,667
(clears throat)
373
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,000
Bring me a wooden box and
a hell of a lot of packing tape.
374
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:29,800
(groaning)
375
00:20:29,934 --> 00:20:33,433
Do svidaniya, Red Ketchup.
376
00:20:36,066 --> 00:20:40,567
- You're ugly when you cry,
Olga Dynamo.
377
00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:44,400
- What do you mean this
package is from Moscow?!
378
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:47,467
(knocking on door)
379
00:20:50,934 --> 00:20:52,800
(screaming)
380
00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:57,000
Ketchup?! What?
381
00:20:57,133 --> 00:20:59,567
What the hell are you
doing here?
382
00:21:03,133 --> 00:21:05,033
Postage due?
383
00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:06,700
Cheap ass commies...
384
00:21:06,834 --> 00:21:10,300
(sighing)
Can you spot me a hundred bucks?
385
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,200
(clanking)
386
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:32,900
- What do you think,
my little Knuddelbar?
387
00:21:33,033 --> 00:21:35,100
Am I still handsome?
388
00:21:35,233 --> 00:21:36,867
(squeaking)
389
00:21:39,333 --> 00:21:41,000
(laughing)
390
00:21:42,867 --> 00:21:44,800
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