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1
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:09,962
Gentlemen,
we are about to embark.
2
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:13,420
Come on!
3
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,093
I wanted to say something
all profound for posterity.
4
00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:17,636
Save it, "Hobbit" Oppenheimer.
5
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,805
We don't even know
if it worked this time.
6
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:20,895
Well?
7
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,558
[ Sniffs ]
Seems like a apple.
8
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:23,689
Take a bite.
9
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:24,810
Uh, y-you.
10
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,308
I'm gonna run diagnostics,
11
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,560
make sure the genetic sequence
isn't compromised.
12
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,106
Yeah, make sure
there aren't any,
13
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,571
you know,
fly parts it in.
14
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,486
Seriously, double
and triple fly-check.
15
00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:36,280
Diagnostics look clean.
16
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,663
- Hmm.
- Well?
17
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:44,830
It tastes like success!
18
00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:45,962
Yes!
19
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:49,039
So who's gonna volunteer
to be our first human subject?
20
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,632
Whoa, what? Yeah, look, no way.
You're crazy.
21
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,440
We're nowhere near ready
for human testing.
22
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,928
White, go find Hank.
He'd do it for the free apple.
23
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,342
Doc, no!
24
00:00:57,474 --> 00:01:00,262
This is literally the first
apple we haven't massacred.
25
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,727
We need to study it,
repeat the experiment,
26
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,312
analyze and reanalyze
all the data
27
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:09,059
and then, maybe, in a couple
of months, move up to mice.
28
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,230
CAPTAIN:
Ahoy, chairmen!
29
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:11,648
If'n you're done fiddling
30
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,988
with your fancy
food processor,
31
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:16,358
we need your signature
on these here...
32
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,325
Aah!
33
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:21,036
Not ready
for human testing.
34
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,996
Congratulations, Captain!
35
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,539
You've just made
super science history!
36
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,957
Now, right this way, Captain.
Billy's just gonna...
37
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,089
He's done it!
38
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:33,712
Repeat, Venture has done it!
We are go for extraction.
39
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:40,932
[ Sighs ]
40
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,176
[ Grunts ] Huh?
What the...
41
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,429
Mayday! Mayday!
I've been spotted.
42
00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:46,850
Initiating evasive...
43
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,188
MONARCH: No! No way!
Absolutely...
44
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,861
I am not joining
some dumb team.
45
00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:58,403
You're not joining a team.
46
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,697
You're just filling in
for one job.
47
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,116
I had to pull a lot of strings
to get you this gig.
48
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,241
Well, unpull them, then.
Push them back! Whatever!
49
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:07,662
I don't want it!
50
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,330
No, but you need it!
51
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,204
The Guild wants this thing
so bad,
52
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,548
they're offering
a full EMA level upgrade
53
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:14,694
if the heist is successful.
54
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,756
A heist? Sweet!
What's the score?
55
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,254
Classified, Gary.
I'm sorry.
56
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,301
It doesn't matter
because I'm not inter...
57
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,720
Don't you dare put that
empty milk carton back!
58
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,593
There's still some left!
It's a sip.
59
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:29,063
A sip? A sip?
Go get more milk.
60
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,934
Look, I'm just not
a team player, okay, honey?
61
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,561
The Monarch is
strictly a solo act!
62
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,187
Yes, I know, sweetness.
63
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,781
You're a precious unicorn,
beautiful and unique,
64
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,117
but can you at least just go
and meet with them
65
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:45,033
before you make up your mind,
please, for me?
66
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,282
[ Sighs ]
67
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,876
[ Doorbell rings ]
68
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,370
Hi-o, guy-o!
69
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,668
Glad you could come
on such short notice.
70
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,258
Sashay on in here.
The meeting's started.
71
00:02:57,386 --> 00:03:00,595
Well, hey, all.
Look at what the me dragged in.
72
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,931
Team, this here's Tiny Eagle's
replacement, the Mighty Monarch.
73
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:06,096
Mighty Monarch,
meet the team.
74
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:09,096
Dot Com,
hackstress extraordinaire.
75
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:10,147
Hey.
76
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:12,435
And to her lovely left
is Tunnel Vision,
77
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,567
our resident digger.
78
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,610
Hey there, chief.
79
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:17,191
That funny-looking fella
is called Presto Change-O.
80
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,359
Greetings!
[ Cackles ]
81
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,778
And over here
you've got Ramburglar,
82
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,401
top-shelf smash-and-grab man.
83
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,328
'Sup?
84
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,286
Lastly, there's Driver X.
85
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:27,701
Ooh, he ain't much for words,
86
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:31,577
but his getaway driving's
poetry in motion.
87
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:32,873
Hey.
88
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:35,121
So, uh, I'm a little late
to this party, and my wi...
89
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:38,250
the councilwoman, uh,
was kind of hazy on the details.
90
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,923
Uh, what exactly is the job?
91
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,797
Oh, you're in for a treat,
june bug.
92
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:47,141
We're fixing to hit that there
Venture headquarters.
93
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:49,556
BROCK: Listen, Doc,
I really need to talk to you
94
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,145
about this security breach.
95
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:52,559
Oh, pfft, later.
96
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,460
I want to get right to work
on my press release.
97
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,004
[ Laughing ] I mean,
this is it, Brock.
98
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,898
Telepor-freaking-tation.
99
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:58,988
Can you believe it?
100
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:01,447
Oh, this is
the kind of game-changer
101
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,316
I've been working for
my entire life.
102
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:06,945
Yeah, uh, got to make
a quick stop.
103
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,197
[ Elevator bell dings ]
104
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,415
Huh, didn't know we had tenants
on this floor.
105
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,580
Or even this floor.
106
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,578
Welcome back, Mr. Samson.
107
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,876
Ohh.
Who's your little friend?
108
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,340
You want to meet her?
109
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:22,802
Heya, sexy.
A little later. What do you say?
110
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,045
Hmm? Yeah.
111
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,798
Well [Clears throat]
Mm...
112
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,809
And now my erection
is completely gone, thank you.
113
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,806
[ Sighs ]
What is all this?
114
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:39,902
Doc, it's, uh...
Uh, it's time we had the talk.
115
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,692
COPYCAT:
Now, at 21:00 sharp,
116
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,985
Tunnel V. will move
into position underground,
117
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,655
snug as a bug
next to ol' Doc Venture's lab.
118
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,028
With the subway as cover,
119
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,807
I can tunnel through
the foundation over there,
120
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:50,892
and no one will
even hear a peep.
121
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,499
At 21:20, I reach
the Ven-Tech ventilation access.
122
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,414
Oh!
That's where I come in!
123
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,753
The vents are laser-shielded
and too small
124
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:58,962
for any old dum-dum,
125
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:02,128
so I just presto change-o
into a snake
126
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,297
and slither into the lab.
127
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:05,886
Presto plugs
this transmitter
128
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,550
into Venture's
security mainframe,
129
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,265
and voilà,
his whole system is my bitch.
130
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,430
Once Dot shuts off the alarms
and opens the doors,
131
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,645
I grab the goods,
load them into Presto.
132
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,891
After I presto change-o
into a human hand truck,
133
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:20,734
Ooh! A man truck.
[ Laughs ]
134
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:23,070
We haul them out
the loading dock, south exit.
135
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,406
Where Driver X will be waiting
to whisk y'all
136
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,821
to the safe house
for champagne and revelry.
137
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,069
Questions?
138
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:30,536
New guy.
How'd I guess?
139
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,584
Yeah, uh, where am I
while all this is happening?
140
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,165
Oh, you're our eyes in the sky,
pretty bird.
141
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,750
Aerial reconnaissance.
142
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,165
You'll be making a big old
loop-de-loop all around
143
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,297
that there Ven-Tech.
144
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,710
- So I'm a lookout?
- Now he gets it.
145
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,425
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wait a minute!
146
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,761
If anyone should be taking lead
on this thing,
147
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:47,969
it's the Mighty Monarch.
148
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,841
I've got decades
of hot skinny on Venture.
149
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:53,184
I know how he thinks,
how he takes his coffee.
150
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,973
I... I can tell you
his Sleep Number!
151
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,892
Sure.
That sounds super useful.
152
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,390
It's 25!
He's soft.
153
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,564
I say we scrap this whole plan
and start from the top.
154
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,777
You don't arch a Venture
155
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,487
by sneaking around
in his crawl space.
156
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,777
You hit him high,
and you hit him hard!
157
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,866
Copycat, you have, like,
a Copy-copter
158
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,702
for the initial aerial assault?
159
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:14,038
Told you we should've
just bought a drone.
160
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,406
Looky here now, songbird.
161
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,249
I'm the leader
of this here band,
162
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,790
and I say we ain't changing
the set list
163
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,287
an hour before showtime.
164
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:22,959
An hour before...
Wait. What?!
165
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,172
Oh, yes, sir.
166
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:29,513
Curtain goes up at 21:00 sharp,
tonightsville.
167
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,596
So you've licked
teleportation, huh?
168
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,466
Well, give yourself
a fat pat on the back.
169
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,343
That's what we
in the supersecret biz
170
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,844
call a game-changer.
171
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,812
Right?
I was just telling Brock...
172
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,647
- That's why you have to kill it.
- What?
173
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,128
Decommission it.
Scrap it for parts.
174
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:45,486
Torch all your files and never,
ever speak of it again.
175
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,150
Uh, why would I do that?
176
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,989
Okay, let's say
you grace the world
177
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,325
with this technological
brain fart of yours.
178
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,410
Have you given any thought
to what happens next?
179
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:56,155
Pfft, you mean after
they slap a Nobel on me?
180
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:59,329
I retire to Spanakopita
on a pile of money and women.
181
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,498
What happens to FedEx
when grandma could just zap
182
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:04,122
her famous fruitcake
to her kiddies in Kalamazoo?
183
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,624
How about the auto industry,
the airlines, big oil?!
184
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,298
Global economy would go ass
over teakettle, that's what.
185
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,263
Some extremely powerful people
ain't gonna like that,
186
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,382
and they're gonna
come a-gunning for you.
187
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,600
Isn't it kind of your job
to protect me?
188
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:19,721
We kind of are, Doc.
From yourself.
189
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,563
Shut it down
and hand it over,
190
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:24,650
or we'll shut it down
and get real handsy about it.
191
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,770
Ugh, this is crazy.
It's a free country.
192
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,147
Mm-hmm.
Is it, now?
193
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,774
What, are you gonna
torture me now?
194
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:32,910
Brock, what the "F"?
195
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:36,154
- It ain't like that, Doc.
- More like group therapy.
196
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,326
But wait a minute!
Where are you going, Brock?!
197
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,324
[ Grunts ]
What's gonna happen to me?
198
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,043
Hello? Brock?
199
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,208
Judas!
200
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,543
ILLUMINATI #1:
Greetings, Dr. Venture.
201
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,797
We've been watching you
for some time.
202
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,423
And you are...?
203
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:59,051
Oh, we've gone by many names
throughout the centuries.
204
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,600
- The Knights Templar.
- The Illuminati.
205
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,644
The Rothschild/Bilderberg
Super Sentinels.
206
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:09,066
We... Well, we kind of
secretly control the world.
207
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,780
Until now we've been happy
to remain in shadows
208
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:15,151
insomuch as your business
has not interfered with ours,
209
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:18,825
but this teleporter of yours,
it's really a game-changer.
210
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,914
What is this,
some kind of threat?
211
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:24,001
No, Dr. Venture,
an invitation.
212
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,416
As we said,
we've been watching you,
213
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:30,462
and we think you have what
it takes to become one of us.
214
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,176
Think of it...
power beyond your imagining,
215
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:37,093
untold riches,
your every desire fulfilled.
216
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,593
And all you need do is give up
one little invention.
217
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:41,311
Ugh.
218
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,645
You don't have to
make your mind up now.
219
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:47,392
As it happens, we're convening
in secret this very night,
220
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,644
and we'd very much like
to meet you...
221
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,736
in the flesh, as it were.
222
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,949
Come.
See what we can offer you.
223
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,068
Then decide.
224
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:02,666
Otra vez.
225
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,996
Come on.
Más fuerte.
226
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:06,335
[ Cellphone rings ]
227
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:08,420
Mucho mejor.
Tiempo fuera, Manolo.
228
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,130
Hey. How's your
super-heist meeting?
229
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,796
Super fucked! This heist
is going down tonight.
230
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,795
Tonight? I thought it was
just a meet-and-greet.
231
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,796
So did I!
Like a get-to-know-ya.
232
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,514
- A go-see.
- Exactly!
233
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:20,974
No, it's all happening
like now,
234
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,329
and I'm supposed
to fly and shit,
235
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,560
and I don't have my wings!
236
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:24,974
Check your back, dude.
237
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:27,314
No, smartass,
these are my cape wings.
238
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:28,802
They're for showing,
not for going.
239
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,943
I need the good wings,
the Glengarry wings.
240
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,438
They're in the, uh,
basement, cave, whatever.
241
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,111
- Find them!
- All right, all right! Hold on.
242
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,700
[ Sighs ]
Aerial reconnaissance.
243
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:39,864
Dicks.
244
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,158
Yeah, Copycat's place
is pretty rad, though.
245
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,170
It's got these fancy
guest soaps that smell like
246
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,617
an Italian gigolo
smoking a grapefruit cigarette.
247
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,189
- [ Knock on door ]
- RAMBURGLAR: Hey, bug boy!
248
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,690
What, you curling
your eyebrows in there?
249
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:50,830
Giddyap!
250
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,456
- [ Toilet flushes ]
- Just a minute!
251
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,952
- #21: Okay, I found them.
- Great.
252
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,217
Now get them over here fast.
253
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,007
And make up a good cover story,
will you?
254
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:59,846
These people already look at me
like I'm a Johnny Stupid.
255
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,221
BROCK:
Just a little further, Doc.
256
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,393
Oh, did you say something?
257
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:05,887
Because I don't speak
to traitors.
258
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,638
[ Sighs ]
It's for your own good.
259
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,891
Oh, sure!
That's what the Nazis said!
260
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,358
No, they didn't.
261
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,478
Well, I... I thought you
were about to say
262
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,151
you were only
following orders.
263
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,865
All right.
You can take it off now.
264
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,742
[ Scoffs ]
Get a load of this guy.
265
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,035
I don't know if you should
trust him with your car.
266
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,167
I'm not.
267
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,327
[ Tires screeching ]
268
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,580
Huh. So hard finding
good help these days.
269
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,590
Uh...
270
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,755
Your hosts
are all waiting inside.
271
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,256
- May I take your coat, sir?
- What?
272
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:45,681
Oh, uh, sure.
Uh, thanks.
273
00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,990
[ Soft ecstatic moaning ]
274
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,154
Oh.
275
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,662
I think I'm overdressed.
276
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:13,083
All right, team. This ain't
no dress rehearsal now.
277
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,627
Curtain's fixing to go up.
Y'all on your marks?
278
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,841
We've, uh,
reached the entry point there.
279
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,710
We're, uh, ready to drill
on Dot's signal.
280
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,132
DOT COM:
I'm all set up out here.
281
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,130
All systems online
and ready to go.
282
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:26,259
Sergeant Sloppy is about
to start his nightly rounds,
283
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,057
and I've got a northbound
"A" train approaching
284
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:32,648
in five, four, three, two...
285
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:33,836
- [ Train rumbling ]
- Okay, go.
286
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,068
You've got 60 seconds.
287
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,279
Swell, swell.
Right on schedule.
288
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:41,490
Hey, Mighty Monarch,
how we looking topside?
289
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,326
Uh, everything looks great
from up here,
290
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:46,912
where I am currently flying.
291
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,085
Oh. Hmm.
292
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,924
You don't see that every day.
293
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,052
Oh, hi!
294
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:01,881
Are, uh...
Are you one of the guys
295
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,720
I spoke to earlier
on the, uh...
296
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,931
Ah. [ Chuckles ]
297
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,016
[ Clears throat ]
298
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,557
[ Zebra neighs ]
299
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,268
- Thinking of joining?
- Hmm?
300
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,890
I haven't
made up my mind yet.
301
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:19,361
Ohh! You mean joining
the, uh [Clears throat] orgy?
302
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,526
Perhaps a bit
of liquid courage?
303
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,071
Ah! [ Laughs ]
Capital idea, Jeeves.
304
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,945
Oh, uh, is it an open bar?
305
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,196
But of course, sir.
306
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,788
Ah! Swell.
[ Chuckles ]
307
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,374
Don't suppose you know how to
make a Red Mocho Kooler, do you?
308
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:33,913
Whatever you desire.
309
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,415
- [ Man laughs ]
- [ Moaning continues ]
310
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:42,088
Oh!
These are amazing.
311
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,136
Yes.
312
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:46,096
The orphan sashimi
is positively decadent.
313
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:47,510
I'm sorry?
Orphan...
314
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,759
Sashimi.
Extra virgin, of course.
315
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:53,262
Our chef insists on only
the very cleanest orphans.
316
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:54,559
[ Gags ]
317
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,812
[ Coughing ]
318
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,233
Bah, ugh!
319
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:03,981
MAN:
Ooh, swell party, hmm?
320
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,614
[ Retching ]
321
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,201
[ Deep voice ]
Having a good time?
322
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,041
Well, apparently,
I just ate part of a small child
323
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,876
and then washed it down
with penis, so...
324
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,245
Hey, if that's
what you're into.
325
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,831
What? No!
Actually, I'm a little lost.
326
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,503
Are you a member
of this, uh...
327
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,423
Pseudo-religious
capitalist crony club?
328
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:26,555
God, no.
329
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,138
Just an anonymous
working girl
330
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,508
here to service
the masters of the universe.
331
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,259
Oh. Ohh.
332
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,978
This gig was a lot easier
before they inducted the guy
333
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,563
who invented Viagra,
I'll tell you.
334
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:40,105
That's him over there next
to big oil and big tobacco.
335
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,898
They're the ones
double-teaming Patty.
336
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,272
Uh, do I know you?
337
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,444
No.
You don't want to do that here.
338
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:52,038
Uh, then perhaps we should
go somewhere more private.
339
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,407
May I borrow her?
340
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:58,203
Meet me by the tapestries
in 20 minutes.
341
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,334
[ Electricity humming ]
342
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,137
[ Coughing ]
343
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,006
Presto change-o, I'm in!
344
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:12,142
DOT COM: Good!
345
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,472
Find the mainframe and get
that transmitter plugged in.
346
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:15,604
[ Elevator bell dings ]
347
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,346
Ooh!
Someone's coming!
348
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,943
[ Gasps ] It's Samson!
What do I do?
349
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:25,438
Dude, what?!
He's not supposed to be here!
350
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:26,842
TUNNEL VISION: Oh, good Lord.
This ain't good.
351
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:27,986
Ah, that's it.
Let me at him.
352
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,696
Hold your position, Ramburglar.
353
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,467
You bust in before
I've hacked the system,
354
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,115
you'll trigger
a total lockdown.
355
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,704
Monarch, plan B.
356
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,869
Plan B?
What... What plan B?
357
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:40,210
God, did you pay, like,
no attention at the meeting?
358
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,338
Proceed to
the Venture penthouse
359
00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:42,750
and create a diversion
360
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,374
to draw Samson away
from the lab stat!
361
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,923
- Okay!
- Uh! I'm here, I'm here.
362
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,216
- Subway took forever.
- Oh, thank God!
363
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,510
- You got my wings, Mr. Late?
- Yeah, yeah, here.
364
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,508
Dude, can I use
Copycat's bathroom?
365
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:57,307
Yeah, whatever. Wait.
What... What the fuck is this?
366
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,475
It's your wings. That was
gonna be my cover story.
367
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:02,224
Your cover story is
I shit myself?
368
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,712
Hey, you make a lie
embarrassing enough,
369
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,977
and nobody questions it.
370
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,105
Eh, all right.
371
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:11,908
Samson's going
for the teleporters.
372
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,356
We ain't got time for this
flying fuck-up to make his move.
373
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,037
I've got an idea.
374
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,001
H.E.L.P.eR.
Heya, buddy.
375
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,293
I didn't see you...
Ah, geez, did Doc paint you?
376
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:29,214
Nice work, Presto.
I'm in.
377
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,632
- H.E.L.P.eR.?
- Uh...
378
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,255
[ Horn honks ]
379
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,974
Dot, do something!
380
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,765
[ Alarm blaring ]
381
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,140
Oh, good Lord.
382
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:44,892
Dottie, what in the "H"
did you do?
383
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,268
I'm not doing that!
384
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,487
It's some kind of
emergency evac or something!
385
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,855
I can't stop it.
386
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,620
Aha! I got one!
387
00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:00,957
Good for you, toy man.
Now you're gonna get dead.
388
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,247
[ Elevator bell dings ]
389
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,208
[ Indistinct conversations ]
390
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,420
- Who needs a refill?
- Yeah!
391
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,798
Rejiggered that
old emergency evac
392
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:18,141
to send the goods
exactly where we want them.
393
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,385
Swell hacking, Mac.
394
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,136
Our little old decoy team
395
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,730
must be in a whole heap
of hot water.
396
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:26,316
That was the plan, my man.
397
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:29,986
[ Cellphone rings ]
398
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,777
[ Grunts ]
Not a good time!
399
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,447
Dude, dude, you got to abort!
Abort!
400
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,615
Copycat has got
another heist team!
401
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,955
You're being set up!
You're decoys!
402
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,082
You're [Static crackling]
403
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:44,160
You're breaking up.
Wait! What? Aah!
404
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,505
Oh! Ah!
405
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,046
Owie.
406
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,294
Enh! Aah!
407
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,421
Ow!
408
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,548
[ Groans ]
409
00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:00,016
What? No way.
410
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,015
[ Door opens ]
411
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:11,566
"The Unicorn is in Captivity
and No Longer Dead,"
412
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,404
Late 15th century.
413
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,900
A truly exquisite piece.
414
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,072
And such an apt metaphor.
415
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:21,038
[ Sighs ] Because, let me guess,
I'm the unicorn,
416
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,326
and now I'm your prisoner.
417
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,916
[ Chuckles ] No, you're looking
at it all wrong.
418
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:28,128
Look at that little unicorn,
the beatific smile.
419
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,872
He's happy now.
420
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:33,626
He gets to live
in a beautiful garden.
421
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,047
Yeah, in a cage.
422
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,045
A protective barrier.
423
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,218
No one's hunting him anymore,
424
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:42,138
nor can he hurt anyone
with that horn of his.
425
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,932
Yeah, well,
if it's all the same to you,
426
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,474
this little unicorn
427
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,472
would rather take his chances
in the wilderness
428
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:50,191
with his sweet-ass teleporter.
429
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,237
MAN:
Oh, I'm afraid that's not
430
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:56,823
one of your options,
Dr. Venture.
431
00:17:56,951 --> 00:18:00,444
No doubt you've read
"The Lady or the Tiger"?
432
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,287
Well, not word for word, but...
433
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,032
Behind door number one,
the lady.
434
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,375
I believe you two
have already met.
435
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,961
Give up your teleporter
and join us,
436
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,625
and she's all yours,
437
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,589
as is anything else
you could ever desire.
438
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:17,883
Behind door number two,
meet Tiger.
439
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:21,007
Tiger has desires, too.
440
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:22,349
Wha... What?
441
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,513
Please tell me
this is another metaphor.
442
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:27,604
Cold, hard truth,
Dr. Venture.
443
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:32,147
In this world,
it's fuck or be fucked.
444
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:35,362
So which will it be?
445
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,822
Just go, Rambo.
We got one of them.
446
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,532
No, job was for both.
447
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:40,971
You're gonna drill
this boy's knees
448
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,112
till he tells us
where the other one went.
449
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,909
[ Chuckles ]
450
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,283
Oh, you are good, Monarch.
451
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,455
Aah!
452
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,670
Oh, dang, I'm hit!
453
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,044
Aah! Uh, uh!
454
00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:57,213
[ Groans ]
455
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:59,803
- Oh, God.
- Oh, he's coming to! Grab it!
456
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,046
I... How?!
457
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:03,014
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
458
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:07,056
Ahhh.
Amateurs.
459
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:08,269
I need backup.
460
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,810
Hostiles have taken the package,
and I'm in pursuit.
461
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,649
Come on out of there
right now, Monarch,
462
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,485
and I promise
I'll only wound you.
463
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:16,694
Just come out of there!
464
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,859
There really is no way out!
465
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,526
[ Beeping ]
466
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:35,794
Copycat 3 to Copycat Prime,
the package is secure.
467
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:36,961
Aah!
468
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,093
[ Grunts ]
469
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:44,006
How in the...?
This is just bananagans!
470
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,231
[ Snaps fingers ]
471
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,024
[ Panting ]
472
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,517
Listen, you guys don't know me,
but you got to trust me.
473
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,144
You guys...
What the fuck?!
474
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:59,862
- Dude, who the hell are you?
- I'm... I'm with the Monarch!
475
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,218
You guys
got to get out of here!
476
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,403
This whole thing
is a setup!
477
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,572
- What did you do to Driver X?
- What? I didn't...
478
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,570
There wasn't even
a guy in there.
479
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,288
Start...
Start the truck, Chief.
480
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,248
Samson is right on our tails.
I think [Grunts]
481
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,242
Aah! Aaaah!
482
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,119
You're Driver X now, fatty.
483
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,622
Take this!
I'll slow him down!
484
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:19,295
Presto change-o!
485
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,089
[ Cackling ]
486
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,054
Oh, stop!
487
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,013
Stupid!
488
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:27,929
Aaah!
489
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:31,975
- [ Tires screeching ]
- DOT COM: Whoa! W-T-F?!
490
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:36,141
Aaaaah!
491
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:37,563
Geez!
492
00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:42,572
Copycat 3 to Copycat Base,
493
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,566
got a big old mayday
on my hands here.
494
00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:47,160
Holy mackerel, the engine
is shot, literal like.
495
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:48,768
Abort-a-rooney time.
[ Snaps fingers ]
496
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:55,293
Well, now doesn't that
just put a turd in your soup?
497
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:01,549
Come on!
498
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,168
Aah!
499
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:07,639
Aaah!
500
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,508
[ Both screaming ]
501
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:17,308
[ Groaning ]
502
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,480
- 'Sup?
- Hey.
503
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,695
[ Creaking ]
504
00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:31,989
Move, move,
move, move, move, move!
505
00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:08,283
DR. VENTURE: Ah!
[ Laughing ]
506
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:09,742
You were right!
507
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:13,409
Oh, this is the best decision
I ever made.
508
00:22:13,541 --> 00:22:17,205
I'm the king of the world!
509
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,669
Ahh.
[ Chuckles ]
510
00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:21,629
Get a nerd laid,
511
00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:24,625
and they think
they're masters of the universe.
512
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:29,171
Ooh!
513
00:22:29,221 --> 00:22:33,771
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