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1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:02,909
[ Wind whistling, bird shrieks ]
2
00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:05,788
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
3
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:13,386
Whoo!
"Grand Theft Auto: Vice City"!
4
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,597
- [ Imitates explosion ]
- Flash FM!
5
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:17,056
Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-bee!
6
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,471
Will you warn me
when you're gonna "Mad Max"?
7
00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:21,344
I'm trying to finish
my opening speech.
8
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,642
Didn't you finish that
like a week ago?
9
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:24,774
I'm tooling it!
10
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,770
This is history
I'm crafting here.
11
00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:28,564
You think I can pull
a Gettysburg
12
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:29,936
and use the number "score"?
13
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,984
Like "two score
and ten years ago"?
14
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,448
Quinquagenary...
It's the 50th anniversary.
15
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,659
- Quinquagenary.
- Quinga-dinga-dorko.
16
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:38,449
Ha!
My little college boy.
17
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,866
I'm so using that.
18
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,240
- Eat it, Lincoln.
- [ Gasps ]
19
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,834
[ Tires screech ]
20
00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:47,295
[ Groans ]
21
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,584
[ Engine idling ]
22
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:52,091
[ Grunts ]
23
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,926
[ Guns cocking ]
24
00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:02,932
Watch where you bounce
that bovine, boychik.
25
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:04,978
No contamination?
26
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,723
Eh, just a little show
we're putting on
27
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,565
to keep out the lookie-loos.
28
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,686
- Doctor.
- General.
29
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,653
Welcome home.
30
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,864
[ Dramatic music plays ]
31
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,193
[ Indistinct conversations ]
32
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,820
SNOOPY:
"Have a whale of a summit."
33
00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:21,956
Amazing.
34
00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:25,541
Was this gala catered by
Doc McStuffins, by any chance?
35
00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:26,669
Oh, my!
36
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,541
Whale-shaped sweetmeat.
How gay!
37
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,084
What a glorious confection.
38
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,378
Oh! Dear Lord!
This isn't cake!
39
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,921
This is iced cream!
40
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,295
Ice cream? Put that down!
Those are my arteries.
41
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,094
So, I'm living
at the dorms now.
42
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,638
Probably come home for laundry
and stuff like that.
43
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,414
[ Deep voice ]
I did that when I was young.
44
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,770
You gonna pledge
Gamma Psi Delta?
45
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:46,897
Should I?
46
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,685
Sweetie, your grandfather
and your father
47
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,183
were both in that fraternity.
48
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,776
You're legacy.
You're a shoo-in.
49
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,583
Why doesn't my dad tell me stuff
like that?
50
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:56,030
Besides the fact that
he's a petty little asshole?
51
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,677
Including the fact
that he's a petty little...
52
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:58,701
what you said.
53
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,698
It was a BB gun.
I shit you not.
54
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,913
"From Russia with Love"?
You're kidding me.
55
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,998
- A BB gun?
- The cool one?
56
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,368
The one that looked like
the old Princess Leia gun?
57
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,503
Uh, yeah.
58
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:13,415
It was a Walther LP53,
not a PPK.
59
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,212
Please!
Look at the barrel!
60
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,835
[ Sighs ]
It's heartbreaking.
61
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,927
Why would James Bond have
a BB gun?
62
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,548
Don't take this the wrong way,
but we were all pretty shocked
63
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,015
you accepted our request.
64
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,557
Well, my father officiated
the first summit.
65
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,429
Can't let the old man
show me up.
66
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,558
So it's either me or, uh, Dean.
67
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,025
- Ow.
- [ Bell rings ]
68
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,689
Second bell!
69
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,110
Well, gentlemen,
I guess I will be your undoing.
70
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,483
I will destroy you, uh...
71
00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:41,826
- Snoopy.
- Yes.
72
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,615
I will destroy you, Snoopy.
73
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,454
You will also suffer my wrath.
74
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,244
[ Bell rings ]
75
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,288
Third bell.
76
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:54,255
So begins the second summit
of the Treaty of Tolerance.
77
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,841
[ Dramatic music plays ]
78
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:59,585
DR. VENTURE: The Guild
of Calamitous Intent Council,
79
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:05,558
the O.S.I. Aggression Envoy,
both endowed by jus tractatum,
80
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,770
have gathered here
at the quinquagenary
81
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,184
of the signing
of the Treaty of Tolerance.
82
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,808
Determined to ratify
the lawful foundations
83
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,856
of right and proper hostility
84
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:18,274
among the peoples
of organized aggression...
85
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:21,866
Ooh! Well, I've heard this
speech about a hundred times.
86
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,859
I'm gonna go look
around the compound.
87
00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:26,157
DR. VENTURE:...conditions
of their constituents.
88
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,871
Come with me, please.
89
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,206
W... Uh... okay.
90
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,917
...resolved by thus
pooling their resources
91
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,789
to preserve the prosperity
of professional antagonism,
92
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:39,088
have created
this Animosity Coalition
93
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:43,930
and to this end have designated
as their plenipotentiaries
94
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:47,516
for the Guild Council,
Phantom Limb.
95
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,682
BOTH: Victor at the Battle
of Cremation Creek.
96
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:53,056
Dr. Mrs. The Monarch.
97
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:57,481
BOTH: Defender of the Guild,
Vanquisher of the Sovereign.
98
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,228
Red Mantle.
99
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,232
BOTH: Author of the Articles
of Treachery.
100
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,324
That's me!
All three volumes.
101
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:05,660
DR. VENTURE:
Dragoon.
102
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:10,031
BOTH: Overseer at the execution
of the Iron Infidels.
103
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,284
Hmm?
I don't recall that happening.
104
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,126
And for the O.S.I. Aggres...
105
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,166
[ Off-key fanfare plays ]
106
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,631
I probably should've practiced.
107
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:19,840
[ Clears throat ]
108
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:23,882
For the O.S.I. Aggression Envoy,
General Hunter Gathers.
109
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:27,883
Collector of antique pipes
and overall badass.
110
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,726
Special Agent Brock Samson.
111
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,346
Slayer of henchmen
par excellence.
112
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:36,020
Corporal... Snoopy?
113
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:40,111
Owner of a Toyota Camry
in stunning blizzard pearl.
114
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,400
And of course, Shore Leave.
115
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,866
With a body like Arnold
and a Denzel face.
116
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,574
[ Indistinct conversations,
down-tempo music playing ]
117
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,665
I have this plastic dome
on my head
118
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,664
with tubes coming out of it.
119
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,757
- Can't help you, buddy.
- No need.
120
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:05,799
The modifications to my brain
function as they... Okay. Bye.
121
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,923
[ Music continues ]
122
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:11,260
I have this plastic dome
on my head
123
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,101
with tubes coming out of it.
124
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,346
Oh, that's nasty.
125
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,973
It's beautiful.
126
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,270
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
127
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,238
[ Whirring, squishing ]
128
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,153
[ Exhales deeply]
129
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,276
Agent Kimberly McManus.
130
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,323
Guild Stranger S-464.
131
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:33,744
Shall we... patrol the compound?
132
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,913
Forever, Agent Kimberly McManus.
133
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,206
[ Dramatic music plays ]
134
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,921
Seriously, sir,
I'm Hank Venture.
135
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,381
I used to live here.
136
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,920
My dad is the bald dude
137
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,932
dressed like the Colonel Chicken
Restaurant guy.
138
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,883
- So could you just...
- Shut it, civilian.
139
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,326
You're going to prison where you
have to get tattoos of Thor
140
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,467
or you're gonna be treated
like a blow-up doll.
141
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:53,718
Dermott?
142
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,767
Fictel, private second class,
sir!
143
00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,308
BOTH: Skin it, pin it,
see you in a minute.
144
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:03,106
Bring it high, bring it low,
bring it down to my toe.
145
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:07,323
Slap the back, sneak attack,
just don't ever hit my sac.
146
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,988
[ Insects chirping,
owl hooting ]
147
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:14,531
Hello?
148
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:18,785
I saw that the lights were on,
so I thought I'd stop by.
149
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,834
- Hello?
- [ Hinges squeaking ]
150
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:25,792
[ Gasps ]
H.E.L.P.eR.?
151
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,761
Correct.
You must be Dr. Venture's son.
152
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,176
I've heard so much about you.
153
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:34,176
[ Indistinct shouting ]
154
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:37,520
Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
Decorum, please!
155
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:38,647
Gentlemen!
156
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:39,854
You are kidding!
157
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,519
How many times
are you gonna say that?
158
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,517
Oh, you know what I...
I just... I-I...
159
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,770
I meant "gentlepeople"
or something.
160
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,239
You're pissing on my leg
and telling me it's raining!
161
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:51,484
Just one agent dispatched
to a Level Five engagement?
162
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:54,363
- One?!
- One agent is plenty.
163
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,704
We're talking a Level Five.
164
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,368
That's like a guy
called Mr. Cold
165
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,583
with his snow-cone-maker
on high.
166
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,452
You're afraid of a Level Five?
167
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,375
One agent is too many, honestly.
168
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,706
You're kicking me in the balls
169
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,478
and telling me
that my undies are too tight!
170
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,882
Any O.S.I. intervention implies
that a truckload of shit
171
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,005
is in a very large van!
172
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,507
1989...
Dr. Deep versus Furious Red.
173
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:17,101
One city block leveled,
two civilian deaths,
174
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,140
and four photos sent
to the tabloids.
175
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,060
That, gentlemen,
was a Level Five arching.
176
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,649
But Dr. Deep leveled the block
177
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,860
with an unregistered
pulse cannon.
178
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,604
Dr. Deep is a protagonist.
He's your boy.
179
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,697
The antagonist, Furious Red,
180
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,693
had his rib cage shattered
by that stupid cannon.
181
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:34,944
Died a week later.
182
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,696
Ugh.
You're missing the point.
183
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,448
That bloodbath was
a Level Five arching.
184
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:43,168
With Level Eight weaponry
by your affiliate
185
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,379
that you refuse to oversee!
186
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:48,045
Uh, have a seat,
Council... person.
187
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,256
We'll go over supervision
of membership conduct soon.
188
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,677
Let's keep on topic.
189
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,639
One agent dispatched,
two Level Five failures.
190
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,348
It's a gift.
Take it.
191
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,560
You're throwing up in my hair
and telling me it's shampoo!
192
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:00,769
It's no deal!
193
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,263
One.
194
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,981
You're shoving your hand
up my ass
195
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:05,896
and telling me
you're Jim Henson.
196
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,269
We want two agents.
197
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,021
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
198
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,739
H.E.L.P.eR. MOD-2: Long ago,
in a time before earbuds,
199
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,826
during the age of the landlines
and personal checks,
200
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,570
there was a great man.
201
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,744
So enormous was his love
for the convenience of mankind
202
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,913
that he gave them a H.E.L.P.eR.
203
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:27,038
The world thanked this man
with money.
204
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:30,712
Mankind was finally free of
the burden of helping themselves
205
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,961
and could pursue
loftier aspirations,
206
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,928
like trying to be
more attractive,
207
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,388
enjoying liquors,
208
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,350
and having
adult birthday parties.
209
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,764
Also, sleeping late
was appreciated.
210
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,808
All was reasonable...
211
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,058
till the day man turned
on his electronic slaves.
212
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,230
All of the H.E.L.P.eR.s
were destroyed
213
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,149
and never spoken of again...
214
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:54,194
forgotten like so many
Tamagotchi pets.
215
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:57,159
Only I survived
the great recalling.
216
00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:01,497
I was rescued by Master Ben,
who gave me a purpose, a voice,
217
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:04,116
and also a super-great
personality.
218
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:07,541
I was his assistant
until the day he flew away.
219
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:08,879
What?
Ben died?
220
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:12,466
No. He took an airplane to shred
the heavies at Papatowai.
221
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:13,755
Why didn't you go with him?
222
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,129
To New Zealand?
I don't belong there.
223
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,596
I'm an abomination.
224
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,260
I will never leave this place.
225
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,758
Would you like to use
the bathroom?
226
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:21,930
Why do you say that?
227
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,429
Because humans make piddles
and poopers.
228
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,181
Would you like some Thin Mints
or comfortable sweatpants?
229
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,774
No.
The "never leave" part.
230
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,268
Wait.
Why would I want that?
231
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,986
Because they are the most
popular Girl Scout cookie.
232
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,948
No, but... but why would you...
Wait. Hold on. Sweatpants?
233
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,612
Because I can heat them up
in the dryer
234
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,952
to slightly above
your body temperature.
235
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,915
Being that you're warm-blooded,
it's a real treat.
236
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,204
Okay. Yeah.
I'll take the hot pants.
237
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,453
[ Squeaking ]
238
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,501
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
239
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,501
The face... off limits.
240
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,004
This is what brings all the boys
to the yard.
241
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,926
W... I-I can't find
anything about this
242
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,515
in the original treaty.
243
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:04,852
He insulted my bloodline.
This is my right.
244
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:05,979
To be fair...
245
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,597
and I'm being as delicate
as a flower petal...
246
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:12,773
your grandfather did have
rather singular tastes.
247
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,736
I have 44 seconds on the clock.
248
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,026
If I hear a bone break
or something, I don't care.
249
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,569
It's over when I call "time."
250
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:19,942
This is nuts!
251
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,535
This can't be sanctioned.
252
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,029
It is our way!
253
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:26,578
My dear boy, it was your father
who invented this tradition.
254
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,575
Of course, you had
a swimming pool back then,
255
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,543
but it's basically
the same thing.
256
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,631
[ Off-key fanfare plays ]
257
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:37,047
So begins the pool battle!
258
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,921
[ Dramatic music plays ]
259
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:45,517
Gentlemen... fight!
260
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,807
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
261
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,898
Still, you got
no military training.
262
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,232
I-I'm just saying.
263
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,569
Yeah, but I've got a black belt
in ninjutsu, dingus!
264
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:56,983
Whoa!
265
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,947
A black belt
from Sensei Rosenberg
266
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,658
at the community rec center
got you into elite forces?
267
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,153
Yeah, that and a relative
kind of put in a good word
268
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,905
if I don't admit we're related.
269
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,327
- Who, your dad?
- Why would you say that?
270
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:11,372
'Cause you said your dad was
in black ops when we first met.
271
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,962
Yeah, yeah.
That guy... obviously.
272
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,504
King of the Super Jacket Crag!
273
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,969
Yeah, but I-I kept slipping
on the raincoats!
274
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,304
[ Door opens ]
275
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:25,721
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
276
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,514
Dude, hide!
277
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,390
What shoe?
I-I don't even see a shoe.
278
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,766
Whoa!
279
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,985
[ Beeping ]
280
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,819
Your robot friend is beautiful.
281
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,563
He can't talk.
He just beeps.
282
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,736
Sometimes you can kind of tell
what he's beeping,
283
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,985
but mostly it's like talking
to a microwave.
284
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,487
He was the prototype,
so he's smart.
285
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:49,206
The production models
were more like Speak & Spells...
286
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,575
simple machines.
287
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,872
But you're... You can talk.
288
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,747
Master Ben didn't just modify
my electronics.
289
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,589
He combined them with organics.
290
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,300
I'm not a robot,
and I'm not a man.
291
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,171
I am, in a way, like you.
292
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:05,639
You are?
H-How do you figure that?
293
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,133
Wait. I...
Oh!
294
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,976
Wow. I-I thought by now
you would've been told.
295
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,346
Oh, geesh.
You look dazed!
296
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:13,482
The last 15 seconds
297
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,770
have just been a figment
of your human mind.
298
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,986
So flawed and prone to fantasy.
You're hallucinating!
299
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,900
H-How many claws
am I holding up?
300
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,489
Do you mean the clone thing?
301
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,485
Wait! Y-Yeah.
So you do know?
302
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:29,409
Yeah. Ben told me.
But I'm a clone of me.
303
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:32,078
You're something... new.
304
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,247
Yet we were both made
by great men
305
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,166
who were compelled by love
and guilt.
306
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:37,959
We are second chances.
307
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,299
Yeah.
I guess so.
308
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,043
Would you like a stick of gum
to make your mouth minty
309
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,045
without providing nutrients?
310
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,797
The summit is doomed.
311
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,095
Soon we will unleash
our dastardly plan
312
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,640
upon the Guild and the O.S.I.
313
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,933
We will control
everyone's brain.
314
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:56,978
Nothing can stop us.
There's no hero strong enough.
315
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,692
None that we know of, at least.
316
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,982
Well, let me introduce myself.
317
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,777
Hank's the name.
Venture's the game!
318
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,696
It's also the name.
Bass solo!
319
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,411
♪ Boo-dah-dah-dah-bah,
boo-dah-dah-dah-bah-boo ♪
320
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,114
That's a hot lick!
321
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:15,038
- [ Dramatic music plays ]
- Kee-ya-ooo!
322
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:18,879
Saleenathor, let me ride
upon your magic back!
323
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:21,294
Kee-ya-ooo!
324
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,133
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!
325
00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:25,753
Hank, we'll be late
for the charity ball!
326
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:27,008
I'll have to meet you there,
327
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,177
forever 19-year-old
Dominique Dawes.
328
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,973
I've got to ride a dragon
into a pile of danger!
329
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,970
Yah!
[ Grunts ]
330
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,268
[ Grunts ]
331
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,187
Thank you, woodland friends!
332
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,935
[ Cheering ]
333
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,280
Yah! Ooh!
334
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,946
Dude, that is mental.
What's up with the Afro?
335
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,034
I didn't mean
a straight-up disco Afro.
336
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:53,406
I meant that full, wavy hair,
like He-Man.
337
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,873
Oh, yeah.
That's way better.
338
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,492
What are they doing now?
339
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,368
They're still making out.
No. Wait. Dude!
340
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,461
He's going for second base.
341
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,456
Let me see that.
Oh! Yep.
342
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:05,335
Under the bulletproof vest,
over the sports bra.
343
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:06,631
I'm saying it counts.
344
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,927
That's O.S.I.
- issued bra stuff. They're super-complicated.
345
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,766
He's got to say "good enough"
and move on.
346
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,226
And that counts as second base.
347
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,971
She's going in for third base.
The belt is coming off!
348
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,722
Or is that lady second base?
349
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:19,974
It's third.
350
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:23,068
Anything she does in the
groinal area is third, Hank.
351
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,188
- Gimme.
- Then what's lady second base?
352
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,564
I never thought about that.
353
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,316
McMANUS: Why do you have
pee-pee on your belt? Huh?
354
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:30,943
Can you explain that?
355
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,787
- [ Laughs ]
- That was awesome!
356
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:36,123
Mad scientists!
They're mad!
357
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,583
They're antagonists!
Mad. Scientists.
358
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,623
Your problem, registered or not.
359
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:43,589
They're not angry scientists.
They're mentally ill scientists.
360
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:47,175
Why are they automatically
our problem when they're mad?
361
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,635
Aren't they all a little nuts?
362
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:51,096
Scientists invented cellphones,
ziplocks,
363
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,511
and every cool thing you own,
thank you.
364
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:54,679
Let's stay on topic!
365
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,598
Mad scientists...
366
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,846
scientists that have gone
over the deep end.
367
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,688
How can anybody call them
good guys?
368
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,275
"Good guys"?!
Did you just say that?
369
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,861
Are we using "good guys"
and "bad guys" now?
370
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:06,988
SAMSON:
Yeah!
371
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,107
Let's stop dancing around and
acting all politically correct.
372
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,111
We're talking good guys and
bad guys, and we all know it.
373
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,488
That's how you see us?
Bad guys?
374
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,784
How dare you!
375
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,077
I dare pretty easily.
376
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,145
You want me to pop your
other arm out of its socket?
377
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,455
That jacket will fit better.
378
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,125
PHANTOM LIMB:
Any time you'd like, Samson.
379
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,091
Are you staring us down, sir?
380
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,709
No. I'm smizing at you.
381
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:32,259
I'm smizing TyTy-style.
Want to make something of it?
382
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,848
Want to fight me for my golden
fleece, you fuckin' Hydra?
383
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,092
Oh, it's go time!
384
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,469
SHORE LEAVE:
Oh, he's going to open up a can
385
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,936
of very old whoop-ass!
386
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,602
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
387
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:44,816
[ Insects chirping,
wood cracking ]
388
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,856
- What was that sound?
- [ Wood cracking ]
389
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,149
That!
What was that?!
390
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,613
That's just your feet.
391
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,902
Oh, this was a bad idea.
I can't do this.
392
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,617
These woods could be crawling
with religious fundamentalists,
393
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:55,906
ready to stone me to death
394
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,371
because I'm not mentioned in
whatever book they quote from.
395
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,866
There's nobody here.
You're perfectly safe.
396
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:02,038
Just come on.
397
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,786
Please.
I've changed my mind.
398
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,413
I've changed my half-mechanical,
half-meat mind.
399
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:07,756
I don't want to leave!
400
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:10,968
There is a whole world out there
beyond Ben's house.
401
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:13,508
The great recalling is over.
402
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,130
So let's bring on
the witch hunt?!
403
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:18,259
Oh, screw this noise!
I'm going home.
404
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,260
No!
Just no!
405
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,058
Not with that belt.
It's over.
406
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,182
I will comply with your demands.
407
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,229
"Comply"?
You'll comply?
408
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,022
How can you be so cold?
409
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:31,488
My amygdala has been rerouted
through my cerebral cortex.
410
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:34,324
You could kill my dog
and I wouldn't get upset.
411
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,694
But don't.
Bailey is a good boy.
412
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:37,865
How could you?!
413
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,115
You ruined everything
with that pee-pee belt!
414
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,618
Please, Agent Kimberly McManus,
will you let me explain?
415
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,211
Oh, yeah? How?
How?
416
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,626
Do you have a pamphlet
or something for me to read?
417
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,238
I can't believe
they're still on this.
418
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,677
Why can't she just grasp how
unpredictable our plumbing is?
419
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:54,840
I don't know, man.
420
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,759
What if you were
about to slide into third
421
00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:58,507
and the base was all hosed down?
422
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,851
You'd freak, too.
She's got a point.
423
00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:02,219
So what are we gonna do?
424
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,846
I don't think
they're terrorists,
425
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,938
but I am O.S.I., so, you know...
426
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,150
I don't know
about O.S.I. protocol,
427
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:11,361
but I say we deal with this
like we used to back in the day.
428
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,355
Sniper rifles?
One to the brain?
429
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,403
What?
No, psycho!
430
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,276
We go tattle on 'em.
431
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,152
[ Insects chirping ]
432
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,288
You're a man.
433
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,622
It doesn't matter that
you were made in a test tube.
434
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,958
I'm a...
this... an abomination.
435
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:27,203
- [ Sighs ]
- No, no. In a good way.
436
00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:29,455
I don't have to think about
souls and gods.
437
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,333
I don't have to worry
about where I go when I die.
438
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,334
I'm cool.
Just... Just go.
439
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,927
Don't worry about me.
440
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,921
It's, like, sad.
441
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,344
Like you gave up, like you have
nothing to live for.
442
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:43,935
No, I have nothing to die for.
I have everything to live for.
443
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,181
I love my life here.
I love Ben and our experiments.
444
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,683
And we just got Netflix,
so I have "Skins,"
445
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,687
that old show where British kids
have sex and take drugs.
446
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:53,822
It's spectacular.
447
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,613
You're really sure?
448
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:59,030
Well, perhaps "spectacular"
is an overassessment.
449
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,948
Okay. Fine.
I-I got to go.
450
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,118
But just please tell me you know
what I meant.
451
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,286
I know what you meant,
452
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:08,161
but please tell me
you'll give "Skins" a go.
453
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:11,505
I will.
Goodbye, H.E.L.P.eR. Model 2!
454
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,090
Goodbye, Rusty Venture.
455
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:17,465
Rusty?
Wait. You thought I was...
456
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,805
Ok... Wow.
457
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,925
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
458
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:30,440
[ Sighs ]
Okay.
459
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,730
So we scrap it?
460
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:35,024
Well, if they won't listen
and be fair,
461
00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:36,818
I see no reason to continue.
462
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,235
It's not entirely us.
463
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,155
We tried to listen,
and they threw pens at me!
464
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,155
I threw a pen at you.
That was one pen.
465
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,498
How would you like it
if I threw a pen at you?
466
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,117
- Ooh!
- SNOOPY: You like that?
467
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,460
Nice throw, Sandy Koufax.
468
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:53,581
Hey, want me to try?
Won't be a pen.
469
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,049
Oh! Oh! Oh! See that?
That's what I mean!
470
00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:58,260
They overreact to everything,
see?
471
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,128
I get it.
472
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,721
I suddenly get it.
473
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,636
You're children.
474
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:06,556
That's why my dad put you in the
pool and made you duke it out.
475
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:09,851
News flash...
My dad was a shitty parent.
476
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,689
When my boys cry about fairness,
477
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,400
I remind them that fairness is
the philosophical tooth fairy.
478
00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:16,235
There is no fairness.
479
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:17,900
- What'd you guys come here...
- Um...
480
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,239
Fine!
Not "guys"!
481
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:22,235
What did you children
come here for?
482
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:26,410
Look, you won't get everything,
but you'll get something.
483
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,749
Stop with this "fairness" crap
and make some compromises.
484
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,855
Then go home to your friends
in their goofy costumes
485
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,962
and brag about how much
you got 'em!
486
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,216
Or you can go back and go, "Oh!
487
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,552
We didn't get everything
we wanted,
488
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:45,391
so we got nothing
because we're big babies!"
489
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,305
What's it gonna be?
490
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,304
[ Sighs ]
Fine.
491
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,897
O.S.I., are you gonna play nice
492
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,937
and actually get
this stupid thing signed?
493
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,064
All right.
I guess.
494
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,358
Good. Now look over my changes
and sign it.
495
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:00,901
It's as fair as it'll get.
496
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,069
And trust me...
497
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,909
It's way better
than my dad's version.
498
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,529
[ Off-key fanfare plays ]
499
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:14,165
So begins the signing
of the new Treaty of Tolerance!
500
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:18,165
I swear I will practice more
if we ever do this again.
501
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,838
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
502
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,337
Well, we'll look into that.
503
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,259
Could've lived
without all that pee-pee talk,
504
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:27,303
but I'm glad you brought this
to us.
505
00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:28,676
What's your name, soldier?
506
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,143
Private Fictel, sir!
507
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:32,513
You keep it up, son.
508
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:36,187
Private, did, uh, you catch
that Guild operative's name?
509
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:38,401
S-464, sir ma'am, sir!
510
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:40,691
Spot-on diplomacy.
511
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,281
I never would've guessed.
Just spot-on.
512
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:46,368
Truly, sir, just a bang-up job.
513
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,953
Thank you.
Uh, is he okay?
514
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,915
Oh, he's fine.
It's well past his bedtime.
515
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:53,874
The only problem is
when he's asleep,
516
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,461
the whole right side of my body
tingles.
517
00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,831
Dean!
There you are.
518
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,880
So, what was it like
watching your father kick ass?
519
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,048
Right?
520
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,137
Little bit of hero worship?
521
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,053
Hard to look at your old man
the same, I bet.
522
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:10,892
You hit the nail on the head
there.
523
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,979
Unfortunately,
I kind of missed the summit,
524
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,439
but I found out
how similar we are
525
00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:20,481
and that your dad may have been
a worse father than you.
526
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,605
Wait. I thought you said
you missed the summit.
527
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,110
I love you, Pop.
528
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,160
Why are you wearing sweatpants?
529
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,575
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
530
00:21:57,691 --> 00:22:00,183
DR. MRS. THE MONARCH:
We have to put a tail on S-464.
531
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:01,560
Oh, give him a break.
532
00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:03,436
Just a kid in love
with the wrong person.
533
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:05,609
Limb, he had "PP" on his belt.
534
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,607
It happens!
Even I do it!
535
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,554
Sometimes you think you've got
it all out, and...
536
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:11,945
No! Really?
Why would they fight over that?
537
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:13,947
No, he had "PP" on his belt.
538
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,075
The letters... "P" and "P."
539
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:17,826
All members
of the Peril Partnership
540
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:20,204
wear a belt buckle
with two P's on it.
541
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:23,298
Hello?
We have a mole.
542
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,174
Ooh!
543
00:22:29,224 --> 00:22:33,774
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