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1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,831
[ Ship horn blows ]
2
00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:06,124
[ Blows ]
3
00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:09,090
[ Water splashes in distance ]
4
00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:14,716
- [ Shots land ]
- [ Groans ]
5
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,597
- [ Shrieks ]
- [ Gasps ]
6
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,466
[ Water splashes ]
7
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,520
Weesh-hoo.
8
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,820
[ Silenced pistols firing ]
9
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,531
[ Grunting ]
10
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,912
- [ Doors creak ]
- Paydirt.
11
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,582
MONARCH:
21... Uh, Number 2!
12
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,579
Step aside!
13
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,707
I'll do the honors.
14
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,009
[ Laughs evilly]
15
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,219
Oh, clever Venture.
16
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,259
So practiced
in the art of deceit.
17
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:01,556
But don't you know you can't
hide from your own shadow?!
18
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,178
[ Gasps ]
�Madre d�os!
19
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,475
God can't hear you, Diecis�is!
20
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:06,607
Minions!
21
00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:11,278
I hold in my hot little hand
the key to our bold new future!
22
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:15,695
At long last, the full power
of the Mighty Monarch
23
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,783
shall be unleashed!
24
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,824
[ Laughs evilly]
25
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,827
Mm, ahh!
26
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,291
Oh, that's the stuff.
27
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,001
- Um... Mr. Monarch?
- Mm...
28
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,916
- [ Laughs ]
- Honey?
29
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,233
- [ Clears throat ]
- Wha... What?
30
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,793
The Councilman
asked you a question.
31
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,417
I said, "What's up
with your eyebrows?"
32
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:37,261
- Oh, I... ran out of product.
- Mm-hmm.
33
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:38,829
What, is that gonna
count against me?
34
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:40,847
Personal grooming
is a factor, yes.
35
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:44,765
But determining your EMA level
is a calculus of many criterion.
36
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,730
I must say, so far,
your lair does not impress.
37
00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:50,218
Well, we're still in the process
of upgrading our equipment.
38
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:52,319
We weren't really expecting you
to come by so soon.
39
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,979
Precisely the point
of a "surprise inspection"!
40
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,277
You let your henchmen
speak out of turn?
41
00:01:57,409 --> 00:02:00,243
No, no. He's not a henchman.
He's... He's my Number 2.
42
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:03,909
The, uh... henchman army you're
looking for is right over here.
43
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,577
Hmph. "Army."
44
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,792
Taylor Swift rolls
with a bigger squad.
45
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:10,411
And these uniforms!
Cheap jersey knit.
46
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,288
Oh, who are you... Michael Kors?
47
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:14,086
Honey, help me out here.
48
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,503
Sweetie, my hands are tied.
49
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,674
I can't intercede in the
Councilman's impartial audit.
50
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:19,805
Then why are you here?!
51
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,547
- [ Groans ]
- Sorry.
52
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:22,969
Look, give it to me straight.
53
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,218
Do I qualify to arch Venture yet
or not?
54
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,970
Upon careful evaluation,
55
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,313
it is this Councilman's opinion
that The Guild
56
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:33,355
should officially reclassify
your EMA rating at a...
57
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,649
- Level Five.
- Five?! Mother...
58
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,194
Look, we know we're still
a little rough around the edges.
59
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,987
But five's kinda low, isn't it?
60
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,825
It is exceedingly generous!
61
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:44,536
Mr. Monarch, it will take
more than a coat of paint
62
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,951
to rise in our ranks.
63
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,575
MONARCH: But what about
my amazing new flying fortress?!
64
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,430
It's gotta be worth
at least a six or seven.
65
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,662
Ah, yes... that.
66
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:55,632
[ Air hissing ]
67
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,546
Five.
68
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:02,805
Sweet.
69
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,640
Let's do this.
70
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,141
[ Grunting ]
71
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,276
C'mon!
72
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,018
[ Grunting ]
73
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,732
[ Sighs ] Yeah.
74
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,512
- [ Beep, speed-dialing ]
- [ Clears throat ]
75
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,243
Hello, my lady-love.
76
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,158
Just chillin'
in the new Hank pad,
77
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,997
and there's just
one thing missing... you.
78
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,206
Wanna come over and cuddle?
79
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,205
Oh, sounds like fun,
but I got class.
80
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,669
HANK:
I'll say you do!
81
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:36,255
- Class, beauty, brains...
- School, Hank.
82
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,716
- [ Indistinct shouting ]
- I have... What the fuck?
83
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:40,881
[ Tires screeching ]
84
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,424
Ah! Sorry.
85
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,802
Traffic in this city
really grinds my nuts.
86
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,769
Took one look
at this nice, open lawn
87
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,638
and just had
to open Adrienne up.
88
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:53,774
It's okay, Brock.
89
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,062
I know what it's like
to feel bottled up inside.
90
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,561
I know ya do, Dean.
And that's why...
91
00:03:58,697 --> 00:03:59,904
I want you to have her.
92
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,818
Whoa. Really?
93
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,236
No!
What are you... nuts?
94
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,054
I thought you were supposed
to be the smart one.
95
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,489
C'mon, grab your shit.
96
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,657
[ Groans, grunts,
breathes sharply]
97
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:11,953
[ Door opens ]
98
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,872
- What the... Dude!
- JARED: Whoa!
99
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,040
He... Hey!
100
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,289
Is today the day
you're moving in?
101
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,881
Y-Yeah.
102
00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,877
Um, Brock, this is
my roommate, Jared.
103
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,719
- Jared...
- [ Stammers ] We... We've met.
104
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,304
You fucking that thing?
105
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,140
Wha... No! No.
I would n-never.
106
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,351
No, this is my fightin' beaver!
Right?
107
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:32,220
It's for cheering.
Not for...
108
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,722
I'm... I'm gonna...
I should go... ahem...
109
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,815
get dressed,
check on my student loans.
110
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,026
Maybe it's better
the family didn't care enough
111
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,235
to come see me off.
112
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,980
Ah, c'mon, Dean.
They... They care.
113
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,357
At least H.E.L.P.eR does.
114
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,576
All Hank cares about
is getting my old room.
115
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,741
And Pop's still sore I'm not
taking any science classes.
116
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,911
Yeah, look, um, there's
something you should know.
117
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,659
You don't have to say it, Brock.
118
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,913
Your dad signed you up for
a shitload of science classes.
119
00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:00,756
We're in a shitstorm o' trouble,
Dr. Venture!
120
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,968
Ven-Tech is still in the red
from the Gargantua-2 fiasco,
121
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:07,133
and we spent a fortune gettin'
this here skyscraper seaworthy
122
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:09,131
after yer pappy shanghaied her.
123
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,805
So whatever
ye and yer junior science club
124
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:14,054
have been cookin' up
down in spec sci,
125
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,602
ya better produce some
measurable results right quick,
126
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,020
or Ven-Tech's gonna go belly up!
127
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,815
[ Clears throat ]
Well, gentlemen,
128
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:24,360
there's only one thing left
to do.
129
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,240
PIRATE CAPTAIN: Uh...
130
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:27,825
what are you doing there, Doc?
131
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,364
Uh, wa...
132
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,742
Oh, geez, Doc!
133
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,080
[ Laughs ]
134
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,791
"No measurable results," eh?
135
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:38,002
What do you call this?!
136
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:41,918
Uh, ain't that the doohickey
yer brother used to wear?
137
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,167
No! Not... Not exactly.
138
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,716
Gentlemen, I give you the future
of personal conveyance.
139
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,009
And the future...
140
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,177
belongs to Ven-Tech!
141
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:52,595
[ Laughs ]
142
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:55,435
Uh, you got a bit of a...
143
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:58,523
Oh, geez!
Oh, look at yer leg!
144
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,437
Nah, nah,
you don't wanna pull that... Oh!
145
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,526
Oh, boy.
146
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:03,861
Doc?
147
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:07,027
Mm-hmm.
148
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,070
And you're looking
to borrow how much?
149
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,159
- $20 million.
- Oh, yeah.
150
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,530
Which you would use to acquire
a new flying fortress,
151
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,657
uniforms and equipment,
and, uh...
152
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,704
- What is this item?
- Handy Dandy.
153
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:20,294
Very difficult to acquire,
on account of the ambergris,
154
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:23,085
but, I assure you,
it is essential to my work.
155
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:26,505
Hmm.
No proof of income...
156
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,343
Uh, he does own his own home.
157
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,339
You're referring to the
condemned property in Newark?
158
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,474
Formerly condemned.
159
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,509
I spent a small fortune
fixing it up.
160
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,135
Hence the business loan.
161
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,888
Don't want to strain the ol'
trust fund too much, you know.
162
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,024
A trust fund, you say?
163
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:42,065
Do you happen to have
documentation on that account?
164
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,523
No. You do. It's been at this
bank for, like, 40 years.
165
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,691
- Look it up!
- MAN: Ah. Okay. Yes.
166
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:47,904
Well, I see it here now.
167
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,275
I do apologize,
Mr. Fitzcarraldo...
168
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,278
Monarch. And no need to
apologize. Just gimme money.
169
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,030
...but that account
is overdrawn.
170
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,283
[ Echoing ] Overdrawn.
Overdrawn.
171
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,455
[ Gasping ]
172
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,874
Oh, okay.
Just try to breathe here.
173
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,417
We can try
the Guild Credit Union,
174
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:05,693
or maybe your wife
could give us...
175
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:08,175
Go wait in the car.
176
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,384
- What?
- Do it!
177
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:11,555
[ Clears throat ]
178
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,681
Listen to me very carefully.
179
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,175
You're going
to give me that money.
180
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,223
Because this is a robbery!
181
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,142
Everybody drop to the ground!
182
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,812
I am an armed
and deadly supervillain!
183
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,277
And if anyone tries
anything funny...
184
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,530
...that happens!
185
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,072
BROWN WIDOW:
"Not in my parlor..."
186
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,738
said the Spider
to the Butter-Fly.
187
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,735
This bank is protected by...
188
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,329
the Brown Widow!
189
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,540
- Aw! Did that just come out...
- Widow kick!
190
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,124
- Start the car!
- BROWN WIDOW: Going somewhere?
191
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,042
Start the... Aaah!
192
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,836
- [ Screaming ]
- [ Crash ]
193
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,043
All right, everybody, listen up!
194
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,045
My name is Professor Tompkins,
195
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,922
and I'm gonna be
filling in for Dr. Nidaba
196
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,345
while he is still incapacitated.
197
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,015
- Hey, Bjorn Borg, you're late!
- Sorry. [ Chuckles ]
198
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,389
Little about me. I normally
teach U.S. Military History,
199
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:06,142
and I'm head coach of
the Stuyvesant wrestling team...
200
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,277
Go, Beavers!
201
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:10,988
So I'm a little new to all this
namby-pamby philosophy crap.
202
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:14,200
So, today, I'm gonna start
you out on the classics
203
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:18,412
with a little help from visiting
professor Mr. Zack Snyder.
204
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:19,701
[ School bell rings ]
205
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,576
Somehow I don't think
the moral of Plato's "Republic"
206
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:25,044
was "kickin' ass
and takin' names."
207
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,585
Yeah, no, but how cool
was it to see "300" again, huh?
208
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,379
Dean? Dean Venture?
209
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,126
Oh, my God!
I thought that was you.
210
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:33,673
Oh. Hi, Sirena.
211
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,842
- Hi, Sirena.
- Bye, Jared.
212
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,326
[ Unenthusiastically]
"Bye, Jared."
213
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,307
SIRENA: So, you're livin'
on campus now, huh?
214
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,643
Oh, I'm so jelly.
215
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:43,103
It's only, like, 50 blocks,
or whatever,
216
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,223
but it's like a totally
different world up here.
217
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,021
- Yeah. I sure hope so, anyway.
- Hey, where you headed?
218
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,873
You wanna grab a cup of coffee
or something?
219
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,653
Oh, uh, well, I-I can't.
220
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,397
Oh, do you have
that same Hank thing,
221
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,899
where coffee makes you crazy?
222
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,948
No. I have to go cancel
all my science classes
223
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,162
because my dad makes me crazy.
224
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,156
DOCTOR:
Well, he's lucky to be alive.
225
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,659
We were able to stop
the bleeding in time,
226
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,535
but the glass nicked
his femoral artery,
227
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:10,164
so we're gonna want to keep him
overnight for observation.
228
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,134
Heckuva job bodyguarding there,
Samson.
229
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,048
I had to drop Dean off.
Where were you?
230
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,637
Where am I always?!
231
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,006
Down at the front desk.
232
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:20,383
A real soldier
never leaves his post.
233
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,475
So, who's watching
the place now?
234
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:23,765
[ People screaming ]
235
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,147
Yeah,
I should probably get back.
236
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,892
Uh, did... did Dean come?
237
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:31,394
Where's my boy?
238
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,316
He's at class, Doc.
First day.
239
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,448
I'm here, though, Pop!
240
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,760
And while I got you
in a groovy mood,
241
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,025
I need a quick cash injection
242
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,573
for, uh, some upgrades
I want to do to my new room.
243
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:40,904
Now, I can keep the costs down
244
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,675
by do-it-myself'ing
the paint and wallpaper,
245
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,029
but frankly, I'm out of my depth
246
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,872
- when it comes to this skylight.
- No, Hank. Just... no.
247
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,414
I'm not giving you any money.
248
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,546
Wh...? C'mon!
249
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,418
You gave Dean his own checkbook!
250
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,211
And I gave you a choice.
251
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,834
Either you enrolled in school...
252
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,447
- Well...
- Clown college doesn't count.
253
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,007
Or you get a job.
254
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:01,723
I'm sorry, gentlemen,
but visiting hours are over.
255
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,309
You're free to come
back tonight, okay?
256
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,437
Can I get one of those?
257
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,980
Because while my dad
might be a billionaire,
258
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,100
I don't have a pot to piss in!
259
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,147
You're lucky I'm not
charging you rent, Hank!
260
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,644
Wait.
Where are you going?
261
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,646
Nurse, this man is my bodyguard.
262
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,398
He's authorized
to stay the night.
263
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,534
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
264
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,156
Wait.
Stay with me, Bro-o-o...
265
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,779
[ Ominous music plays ]
266
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,504
[ Door opens, closes ]
267
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,043
It's bad.
268
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,588
Hey, sweetie.
Rough day, huh?
269
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,884
[ Moaning loudly]
270
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,553
Yeah. New York is lousy
with superheroes.
271
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:44,845
Y-You'll do better next time.
272
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:48,304
You don't understand, baby.
There is no next time!
273
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:51,648
I'm broke. Game over.
I have nothing left.
274
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,187
You have me.
You have 21.
275
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,652
- You have this beautiful house.
- You mean this money pit!
276
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,238
What the hell was I thinking,
pouring all my...
277
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:00,653
These sconces!
Look at these sconces.
278
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,388
- $1,200 apiece.
- [ Electricity crackles ]
279
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:03,493
Was I out of my mind?
280
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,408
Okay, well, breaking them
isn't gonna...
281
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,327
This vintage
rosewood executive desk
282
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,744
by Arne Vodder for Sibast.
283
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,288
$8,000!
284
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,457
- Oh! Ohh!
- You're gonna get it all back.
285
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,876
The Guild has assigned you
a cherry new arch.
286
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,001
- Yeah, a cruddy Level Five.
- It's a start.
287
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:20,469
Baby steps, sweetie.
Just work the program.
288
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,214
Log some arches.
Earn your way up the ladder.
289
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,807
- I-I can't.
- Yes, you can!
290
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,803
Because you are
the Mighty Fucking Monarch.
291
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:31,851
You're a survivor,
just like your namesake.
292
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,440
Every spring, these little guys
293
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:36,311
migrate thousands of miles
from Mexico to Canada.
294
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,278
They average
maybe 50 miles a day,
295
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,886
but, little by little,
they get there.
296
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,690
And in the fall,
they pick themselves up,
297
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,738
and they make
the long journey back.
298
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:47,363
The point is, you can do
anything you set your mind to.
299
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,912
Because Monarchs never quit.
300
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,285
[ Breathes deeply]
301
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:55,163
You're right.
Thank you, honey-bunny.
302
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,540
I wish you could've met her
when she was alive.
303
00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,257
She would've liked you.
304
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,844
VON HELPING: I was quite excited
to see your name on my roster.
305
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:06,056
I mean, your grandfather
was a huge inspiration to me.
306
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:09,552
Well, thank you. But my father's
the real reason I'm here.
307
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,457
Uh-huh. Yeah, I've, uh...
I've heard of him, too.
308
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,768
See, he signed me up
for all these classes,
309
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,643
and the truth is, I'm not
really interested in science.
310
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,895
Oh, no?
What are you interested in?
311
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,693
Well... I don't really know.
312
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,565
That's kind of
why I'm in college.
313
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,141
But I definitely know
that I don't...
314
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:27,240
Want to be like your father.
315
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,536
I myself was born the scion
of a powerful family.
316
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,034
Daddy wanted me to go
into the family business.
317
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,330
I can relate.
318
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,954
With all due respect, Professor,
I don't think you can.
319
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,090
It's not just him.
320
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,461
It's his whole
super-science world.
321
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,710
It's like it has its own gravity
322
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,383
that just attracts
all these... these freaks,
323
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,195
a-and if you're stuck
in his orbit, then...
324
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,557
This was Pop.
325
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,972
Pop wanted
only two things in life...
326
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,563
to rule the world and to make
his son just like him.
327
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,978
Uh, also to destroy
Dr. Atomicus,
328
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,476
so three...
three things in life.
329
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,194
- Y-Your father was a s...
- Big-time.
330
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,188
And, man, did he mess me up.
331
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,281
I went to a really dark place
332
00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:06,992
when I wasn't
much older than you.
333
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,361
But you know what saved me?
334
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,362
The power of science.
335
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,080
Not the kind of power
he was after.
336
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:15,542
I'm talking about the power to
make the world a better place,
337
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,377
the power to help mankind.
338
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,121
That's the kind of power
you need
339
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,543
if you want to escape gravity.
340
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,463
- I-I want.
- Then tell you what.
341
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,883
You take just one of my classes,
see if you like it,
342
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,506
and we move on from there?
343
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,303
Well... okay.
344
00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:33,428
What's the least
super-science-y class you have?
345
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,429
All science is super,
young Dean.
346
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,147
- Uhh...
- Uh, botany.
347
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,732
Let's try you on botany.
348
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:42,061
HANK: The communal areas are
for your lounging enjoyment.
349
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,937
You'll find the kitchen
one level down
350
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,689
and stocked with snacks aplenty.
351
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,316
The shared bathroom
is conveniently
352
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,318
across the hall
from your room...
353
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:52,788
and here is
your honeymoon suite!
354
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,372
WOMAN:
[ Speaking German ]
355
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,500
Uh, questions?
356
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,453
[ German accent ]
Uh... are you having ze Wi-Fis?
357
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,331
Ah! Yes. Our network's
named "Rust-4-Life,"
358
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,129
and the password is... Huh.
359
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,343
MAN:
"Kate-Jackson-Meow"?
360
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:07,781
Please don't share it
with anyone.
361
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,922
'Cause it's embarrassing.
So, there's just the matter
362
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:11,845
of your, uh... ahem... rent.
363
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,593
It's $250 per night,
plus the $30 cleaning fee...
364
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,095
Cash! Aces.
365
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:19,143
[ Clears throat ] Well, I hope
you enjoy your stay,
366
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,892
and thanks again
for choosing AirB&Me...
367
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,645
a wholly-owned subsidiary
of HankCo.
368
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,826
Hey, mami.
I like what I see.
369
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,616
Ugh.
Piss off, you pervert.
370
00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:35,705
Aw, why you gotta be like that?
371
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,199
I mean it, you dickhead.
372
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,702
- I've got Mace!
- And I've got flowers!
373
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,375
Hank! Jesus!
What are you doing here?
374
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:44,624
I suddenly found myself
flush with cash
375
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,796
and wanted to share
the wealth with my best gal.
376
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,261
What say we paint the town?
You name the color.
377
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,005
Aww, that's sweet, boo-boo.
378
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,348
But I told you... I got class.
379
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,842
But that was this morning.
380
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,218
Yeah, I got more than one.
381
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,220
- It's college.
- Well, that seems excessive.
382
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,689
Look, I-I gotta go.
I'm gonna be late.
383
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,059
We will do something
this weekend, okay?
384
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,194
I promise.
[ Smooches ]
385
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:07,521
Uh, o... o-kay.
386
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:12,068
MONARCH: Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
387
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,320
- Hey, how do I look?
- You look good.
388
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,321
Well... except don't
do that with your face.
389
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,789
Ugh! Can't help it.
390
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,704
This gel, it's just so stiff.
391
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,327
I need pliable hold!
392
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,749
At least you don't look like
Piter De Vries anymore.
393
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,668
Who the hell is Piter... Oh!
394
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,837
He's from one of
your geek things, isn't he?
395
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,086
21: So, uh, what's the deal
with this new arch?
396
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:31,221
Is he cool or what?
397
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,090
"Professor Victor Von Helping."
398
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,558
- Oh. Guess not.
- Helping. So cheesy.
399
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,645
"Dean of Sciences, Stuyvesant
University," blah-blah-blah.
400
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,685
"Active member of Greenpeace,
Doctors Without Borders."
401
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,149
Oh, shit!
402
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,984
Oh, my God.
Guess whose kid he is.
403
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,946
21: Holy!
Is that Vigo Von Hellfire?!
404
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,564
He's, like, Guild royalty.
405
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:51,941
Apparently, little Victor
406
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:53,716
was being groomed
for the family business,
407
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,280
but had a change of heart after
408
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:58,747
"a freak super-science accident
left him hideously scarred
409
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,537
on over 80% of his body."
410
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:03,081
Ew. Is he all melty-looking
and stuff?
411
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:06,080
- No. He looks fine.
- Huh. Handsome, even.
412
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,332
In, like,
a Paul Atreides kind of way.
413
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:12,382
- [ Sighs ] Geek! Geek! Geek!
- Sorry! Sorry!
414
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,308
Hiya, stranger.
415
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,597
We botany buddies?
416
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,415
[ Chuckles ] I thought
you was quittin' science.
417
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:23,396
No.
Just my dad's kind of science.
418
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:24,640
Ugh!
Tell me about it.
419
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,892
My dad tried to push me
into marine biology,
420
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,308
but, like,
no, fucking thank you.
421
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:29,520
Are you out of your mind?
422
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,455
That didn't work out
so hot for him, you know?
423
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,865
- Or me, to be quite honest.
- I know, right?
424
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,485
It's like they don't even see
what their whole obsession
425
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,578
with super-science
is doing to their own kids.
426
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,948
You know I'm a clone?
Me and Hank both.
427
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,325
- Yeah, I know. He told me.
- How messed up is that?!
428
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,623
Not as messed up
as being, like, dead.
429
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:46,871
So, you know...
430
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,588
maybe super-science
ain't all bad.
431
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,799
Brr! Hoo!
It's a brisk one out there!
432
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,463
Sorry I'm late, students.
433
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,177
Ah! Well.
434
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,012
Looks like it's just
the three of us, then.
435
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,678
- [ Glass shatters ]
- Not anymore!
436
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,222
The Monarch
is auditing this class!
437
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,687
[ Laughs evilly]
438
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,601
Oh! Hey.
Hey, Dean Venture!
439
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,851
No, no, no, no!
440
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,399
[ Rapid beeping ]
441
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,355
[ Grunts ]
442
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,359
[ Beeping continues ]
443
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:17,494
[ Gasps ]
444
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,832
[ Sighs deeply]
445
00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:25,538
[ Remote clicks ]
446
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,332
[ Groans ]
447
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,499
Hank.
448
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:31,339
Hey, Pop?
You awake?
449
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,465
- [ Sighs ]
- [ Slow guitar music plays ]
450
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:38,054
[ As Dr. Venture ] Well, hello
there, son. How was your day?
451
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,094
[ Normal voice ]
Honestly, it started good,
452
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,559
but it turned out to be
kind of a bummer.
453
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:45,087
[ As Dr. Venture ] Well, that
doesn't sound very Hank of you.
454
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,792
[ Normal voice ] Yeah, well,
it ain't easy maintaining
455
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,227
my famous can-do attitude
456
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:51,227
when you're always
all "can't-don't" to me.
457
00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:52,443
[ Sighs ]
458
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,938
I don't get it.
459
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,905
I mean, Dean cuts and runs
on Team Venture,
460
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,649
and you give him
whatever he wants.
461
00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,152
But I stick around,
and you punish me for it.
462
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,950
I mean, I know
he's your favorite,
463
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,447
but do you have to act like it?
464
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,576
- MAN: ? Take my hand ?
- You know...
465
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,044
I just feel so...
466
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,003
kind of alone now that...
467
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,130
What is that?
468
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:17,299
MAN: ? Take my hand,
I can take you there ?
469
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,639
? I'm feeling kinda fragile
'cause I... ?
470
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:24,055
[ Clears throat ] They...
They say that music helps.
471
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,722
[ Dr. Venture muttering ]
472
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:27,471
See?
473
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,600
I-I heard music.
474
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:31,976
Am I dreaming?
475
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,852
It's no dream, Pop.
It's...
476
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:36,401
Wait a minute.
Uh, how much did you hear?
477
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,398
You really came to see me?
478
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,696
Yeah.
I-I guess I did.
479
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:41,828
Aww.
480
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,243
I want you to know
you've always been my favorite.
481
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,661
- [ Sniffles ]
- I love you...
482
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:48,874
[ Gulps ]
483
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,336
...Kate Jackson.
484
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,705
BROCK: Hank?!
485
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,172
It's game night, man!
486
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,383
I'm comin' for that flat-screen!
487
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,836
- What are you doin'?
- Alarm went off in Hank's room.
488
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,338
That ain't Hank's room anymore.
489
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,557
And Hank went out an hour ago.
490
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:05,683
We go in on three.
491
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:06,927
One...
492
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,224
Three!
493
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:11,019
[ Indistinct shouting,
gunshots ]
494
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,769
No. Nothing.
495
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,942
Where is it, Von Hippie?
496
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,282
Where is what?
It's a botany lab.
497
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:23,197
Is this some kind
of rush-week prank?
498
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:26,788
No, we're your new arches,
you condescending putz!
499
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:30,205
We're here to fight you
and steal your shit!
500
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,498
[ Sighs ] Well, I'm not going
to fight you.
501
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,270
- Okay, that'll work.
- [ Metallic clank ]
502
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,376
Aah! Mother...
503
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,795
Nice.
Step aside, you child.
504
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,135
- [ Metallic clank ]
- Ow!
505
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,628
This is absolutely broken!
506
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:44,097
- Why is there metal...
- This is just fucking sad.
507
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,387
Shut up!
21! Grab her!
508
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,476
- Dude, that's Wide Wale's dau...
- Do it!
509
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:50,724
- Really?
- Hey!
510
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,848
Now give us
your secret science shit!
511
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,224
Or my Number 2's gonna go
512
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,712
"Mama had a baby,
and its head popped off"
513
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,693
on your little dandelion here!
514
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,154
- Enough!
- [ Gasps ]
515
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:00,897
Do as you like to me,
516
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:05,323
but you do not
threaten my students!
517
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,741
You wanted to get
a rise out of me.
518
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,616
- Hey.
- Well, how do you like me now?!
519
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:13,494
How do you like facing
the full wrath
520
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:16,793
of
Professor Victor Von Hellfire?!
521
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,276
DEAN: No, no.
No, please, Professor!
522
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,166
Don't let him drag you
down to his level.
523
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,339
- Hey!
- What's it gonna take, Monarch?!
524
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:26,340
Huh?! To rid my life of creeps
like you once and for all?!
525
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:29,013
Why do you even do this?!
Do you even know anymore?!
526
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,182
Oh, what do you know,
rich bitch?!
527
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,679
You never had to work
for a living.
528
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,898
Taking shit arches
instead of doing
529
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,436
what you really want to do!
530
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,356
Or hating
who you really want to hate!
531
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:42,197
Fine! There's only one way
to end this, then, isn't there?
532
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,360
Gun!
533
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,405
One... million...
534
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:47,537
dollars.
535
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,495
There!
Is that gonna be enough
536
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:51,364
for you to leave
my professor alone?
537
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,457
To leave me alone? Huh?!
538
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,124
Well, I... Uh, yeah?
539
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,497
Then... Oh.
Uh, okay.
540
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,544
T-That okay with you, Professor?
541
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,168
I should be calling
you professor.
542
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,216
Because you've taught me
something here tonight,
543
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:06,838
- young Dean.
- Oh, my God!
544
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,432
Can we please leave
this after-school special?
545
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,973
Oh, uh, but, first,
can we get you to sign this?
546
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,471
Standard Guild form 4-B,
arch confirmation...
547
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:18,317
Oh, of course. Oh. [ Chuckles ]
I seem to have lost my pen.
548
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,278
- Hey, are you okay?
- Oh, please, are you kidding me?
549
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,772
I grew up
around Level Nines and Tens.
550
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:26,070
These guys are,
like, negative threes.
551
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,444
I dunno what they were.
That was an embarrassment.
552
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:31,447
Um, but you're...
but you're so sweet for asking.
553
00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:33,949
My hero.
[ Chuckles, smooches ]
554
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:36,622
Oh! Oh, come on.
555
00:21:36,754 --> 00:21:38,620
- It was nothin'. I didn't...
- [ Door opens ]
556
00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:40,167
[ Chuckles ]
557
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:42,550
Oh, no!
558
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:15,040
Top earner for the month!
Oh, so proud!
559
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,499
I knew you could do it, honey.
560
00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:18,163
Even Z was impressed.
561
00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:20,332
He sent this over.
562
00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:29,546
Geek!
563
00:22:29,596 --> 00:22:34,146
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