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1
00:00:00,250 --> 00:00:02,249
? Subbed By BARFNUTS ?
2
00:00:02,250 --> 00:00:04,612
MONSENOR: The big top got
a little smaller today,
3
00:00:04,670 --> 00:00:07,465
and the world got a little
less funny.
4
00:00:07,548 --> 00:00:10,635
Boggles The Clue Clown has
told his last joke.
5
00:00:10,718 --> 00:00:13,054
[robotic voice]
Sovereign has called an emergency meeting
6
00:00:13,137 --> 00:00:15,389
to appoint Councilman Four's
replacement.
7
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:18,643
His name was Boggles,
you chromium crossbreed!
8
00:00:18,726 --> 00:00:20,686
Stuff your meeting!
I'm mourning here!
9
00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:22,939
My apologies,
Red Mantle/Dragoon hybrid.
10
00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:25,399
I know you men were close.
- They were close.
11
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,151
I never much cared
for the man.
12
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,612
I found his jokes tedious,
his riddles obvious --
13
00:00:29,695 --> 00:00:30,738
Oh, the two of you!
14
00:00:30,821 --> 00:00:32,740
Honestly, if you hate Boggles
so much,
15
00:00:32,823 --> 00:00:35,243
why don't you go over there
with those dicks?
16
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:38,162
Can't believe
he's really gone.
17
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,206
Right? Who the hell are we
gonna fight now?
18
00:00:40,289 --> 00:00:42,166
Language, chum.
And stay alert.
19
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,501
If I know The Clue Clown,
20
00:00:43,584 --> 00:00:46,212
he's got one last trick
up his puffy sleeve.
21
00:00:46,295 --> 00:00:47,672
[camera shutter clicking ]
22
00:00:47,755 --> 00:00:49,340
SHORE LEAVE:
Ptchoo! Gotcha!
23
00:00:49,423 --> 00:00:51,092
Ptchoo! Ptchoo! Ptchoo!
Direct hit.
24
00:00:51,175 --> 00:00:52,301
Find your light, ladies.
25
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,720
Smile.
You're on covert camera.
26
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,557
All right, just take it easy
on the equipment there.
27
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,392
Anyone else find it
a little convenient
28
00:00:59,475 --> 00:01:02,186
the one guy on the Council
Monstroso I.D.'d
29
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,938
suddenly dropped dead?
30
00:01:04,021 --> 00:01:06,023
There's nothing convenient
about heart disease,
31
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,733
I can assure you,
Agent Samson.
32
00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,193
Especially when your ticker
taps out
33
00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:11,195
behind the wheel
of your clown car.
34
00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:13,656
Heard it took 20 minutes
to pull his hench-clowns out
35
00:01:13,739 --> 00:01:15,074
before they could even
get to him.
36
00:01:15,157 --> 00:01:17,326
I just hope Hunter's
hunch is right
37
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,829
and some of his Council
cronies show up
38
00:01:19,912 --> 00:01:21,539
to pay their respects.
39
00:01:21,622 --> 00:01:23,833
It was Boggles' last wish
that I read this.
40
00:01:23,916 --> 00:01:25,126
[ Clears throat]
41
00:01:25,209 --> 00:01:27,837
"To Captain Sunshine,
my longtime nemesis.
42
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,381
What kind of jack won't
help you fix a flat
43
00:01:30,464 --> 00:01:33,551
Or score a royal flush
or plug your phone in?
44
00:01:33,634 --> 00:01:35,595
The answer may surprise you."
45
00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:37,513
[ scoffs ]
Shucks, that one's easy.
46
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,808
Shh! Flat, flush, phone --
Boggles, you fiend!
47
00:01:40,891 --> 00:01:43,436
What does it mean?!
48
00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:45,229
[ Crowd gasps ]
49
00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:47,273
RED MANTLE: Too soon!
[spring squeaks]
50
00:01:47,356 --> 00:01:48,816
He always said he'd have
the last laugh.
51
00:01:48,899 --> 00:01:50,276
DRAGOON:
He was always wrong.
52
00:01:50,359 --> 00:01:53,779
[calliope plays Chopin's "Funeral March" ]
53
00:01:59,368 --> 00:02:01,829
No! No-o-o-o!
54
00:02:01,912 --> 00:02:04,290
[ crying ]
55
00:02:04,373 --> 00:02:06,584
No. Get off me!
56
00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:11,422
Hold up.
I think we've got an elemental.
57
00:02:11,505 --> 00:02:13,257
Boom! Yummy.
What's he look like?
58
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:17,803
She's an earth mover,
about 5'7", two heads.
59
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,391
Great.
Now my hand's all dirty, too.
60
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,644
Have you concluded
your mourning, Red Mantle?
61
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,646
You again?
Good god, man.
62
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:29,649
Have you no humanity
left in you whatsoever?
63
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:32,318
This is why you have no
friends, Vendata.
64
00:02:32,401 --> 00:02:35,404
[camera shutter clicks]
65
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,368
SNOOPY:
His name is Vendata.
66
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:42,370
Guild cyborg, started henching
in the late '70s,
67
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:43,913
earned level-1 status
with a string
68
00:02:43,996 --> 00:02:45,915
of high-profile super crimes
in the '80s.
69
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,333
Largely inactive since '98.
70
00:02:47,416 --> 00:02:50,294
And a dead ringer for
Councilman #1.
71
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:52,296
All right,
this is it, sports fans --
72
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:53,297
the brass ring.
73
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,466
If we can get to this guy,
we can get to the Guild.
74
00:02:55,549 --> 00:02:57,301
So, what else
do we know about him?
75
00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,011
Someone must have built him, right?
76
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:00,805
I've tried searching
earlier records,
77
00:03:00,888 --> 00:03:02,556
but all of that data is classified.
78
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,600
As you know, I don't have
clearance to --
79
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,310
- I sure as hell do.
- Okay.
80
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,895
So, um, should I not
look, or...
81
00:03:07,978 --> 00:03:12,149
There it is. "Vendata --
formerly known as Venturion.
82
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:16,487
Cyborg prototype built by
Venture industries circa 1976."
83
00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:19,031
- He's The Bicentennial Man.
- Whoa.
84
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:21,867
Old Jonas pulled some strings
to get that buried.
85
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,536
- SNOOPY: I'm not listening.
- GATHERS: Hmm.
86
00:03:23,619 --> 00:03:26,497
"Project abandoned after subject
exhibited erratic behavior,
87
00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:28,332
attempted to strangle
Rusty Venture."
88
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,667
Been there.
89
00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:34,130
So, uh, how do we put the screws
to a rogue robocop?
90
00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:36,424
Simple -- check out
this morning's Guildslist.
91
00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:38,384
"Bot seeks bot.
92
00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:40,386
Mature professional
man of metal
93
00:03:40,469 --> 00:03:42,471
looking to make a meaningful
connection"?
94
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,181
A cyborg placed
a personals ad.
95
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:46,058
Well, he's still half a man,
ain't he?
96
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,435
Now we know which half.
97
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,603
Everyone gets lonely...
sometimes.
98
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,147
They're not as lucky as us.
99
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:53,149
"Might we make good alloys."
100
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:55,109
What's that, a typo?
Does he mean allies?
101
00:03:55,192 --> 00:03:56,610
Cyborgs don't make typos.
102
00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:59,029
It's a pun -- a god-awful one,
but that's our in.
103
00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:00,698
Classic honey trap.
104
00:04:00,781 --> 00:04:02,533
Sir, I'm willing to volunteer
for this mission.
105
00:04:02,616 --> 00:04:04,535
Mm, nope. Sorry, Goldie.
You ain't his type.
106
00:04:04,618 --> 00:04:06,579
Well, I'm not doing a robot.
107
00:04:06,662 --> 00:04:08,372
Well, then, who is?
108
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,583
Appreciate you coming in
on such short notice.
109
00:04:10,666 --> 00:04:13,419
We wouldn't have called
if it wasn't real important.
110
00:04:13,502 --> 00:04:15,421
[ Robotic voice ]
I am glad to be of assistance.
111
00:04:15,504 --> 00:04:18,257
We are all on the same team,
right?
112
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:20,968
SOVEREIGN:
And teamwork is what it's all about,
113
00:04:21,051 --> 00:04:22,845
so it is with great pleasure
114
00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:26,849
that I officially introduce
the new Councilman Four
115
00:04:26,932 --> 00:04:28,893
to our little family.
116
00:04:28,976 --> 00:04:30,728
Thanks, guys.
Really looking forward --
117
00:04:30,811 --> 00:04:32,480
So, if there's no other
business,
118
00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:34,190
I hereby adjourn
this session
119
00:04:34,273 --> 00:04:37,067
of the Council of 13.
120
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:38,235
Wait, is that it?
121
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:40,279
First new member in,
like, 15 years.
122
00:04:40,362 --> 00:04:42,281
Shouldn't we celebrate
or something?
123
00:04:42,364 --> 00:04:44,283
Yes! Take the new guy out?
124
00:04:44,366 --> 00:04:45,576
Welcome him to the team?
125
00:04:45,659 --> 00:04:47,286
[all murmur agreement]
126
00:04:47,369 --> 00:04:49,330
There will be no celebration!
127
00:04:49,413 --> 00:04:52,541
Anonymity is essential to the
business of this committee.
128
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:55,336
Oh, please.
Whom are we trying to kid?
129
00:04:55,419 --> 00:04:57,213
We all know who we really are,
and the new guy --
130
00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:58,881
well, it's clearly Phage.
131
00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:00,591
Look at his head,
for god's sake.
132
00:05:00,674 --> 00:05:03,052
Councilmen Three and Eight,
I am willing to overlook
133
00:05:03,135 --> 00:05:05,429
your indiscretion
at The Clue Clown's funeral.
134
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:06,889
DRAGOON:
I didn't want to do that!
135
00:05:06,972 --> 00:05:10,601
But I will tolerate no
further violations of Council code.
136
00:05:10,684 --> 00:05:13,312
Meeting adjourned.
137
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:17,608
You guys still here?
138
00:05:17,691 --> 00:05:19,443
Right.
Where are we doing this?
139
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:22,488
Uh, why don't y'all just
swing by my club tonight?
140
00:05:22,571 --> 00:05:23,948
Drinks on the house.
141
00:05:24,031 --> 00:05:26,826
I can't make it tonight,
guys. I'm sorry.
142
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,702
Tele-screening in
from Phoenix.
143
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,496
The grandkids are here.
144
00:05:30,579 --> 00:05:33,123
Oh, I have, uh,
youth group tonight.
145
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:34,792
And, uh, uh,
I'm on the moon.
146
00:05:34,875 --> 00:05:36,502
[robotic voice]
I cannot attend either.
147
00:05:36,585 --> 00:05:38,796
Oh, good-time Charlie
can't make it.
148
00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:40,506
Big surprise.
[all chuckle]
149
00:05:40,589 --> 00:05:42,341
What, do you have
a hot date?
150
00:05:42,424 --> 00:05:43,884
- COUNCILMEN: Ooh.
- VENDATA: No, no, no.
151
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:46,929
It is more just dinner with --
with a friend.
152
00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:49,265
Oh, since when do you
have friends?
153
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:51,475
Who is this "friend"?
A Cuisinart?
154
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,060
This jocularity is quite amusing,
155
00:05:53,143 --> 00:05:54,770
but I really must go.
156
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:58,190
I am programmed for strict punctuality.
157
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,985
So, how about the rest of you?
Should we carpool?
158
00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:02,903
Oh, we're all so
spread out.
159
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:05,364
Let's just meet at the club
around 9:00.
160
00:06:05,447 --> 00:06:08,742
Done deal.
It's a party, then.
161
00:06:10,035 --> 00:06:12,830
So much for your precious
anonymity.
162
00:06:12,913 --> 00:06:14,248
Least I tried.
163
00:06:14,331 --> 00:06:16,792
And you -- moon.
You're coming out.
164
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:20,170
BROCK:
Nice. The tech boys did a good job.
165
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:21,672
You look just like him.
166
00:06:21,755 --> 00:06:24,508
Now, remember,
your name is Galacticon.
167
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,177
You downloaded his profile?
You got it all memorized?
168
00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,013
Fingers. Fingers.
169
00:06:29,096 --> 00:06:30,431
Pay attention,
Ghost Robot.
170
00:06:30,514 --> 00:06:32,641
Galacticon.
My name is Galacticon.
171
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:35,519
Level-3 terror-bot,
Guild member five years.
172
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:36,979
I work out of Tucson.
173
00:06:37,062 --> 00:06:39,023
That's my bot.
All right, he's ready.
174
00:06:39,106 --> 00:06:41,191
- Where do I stick this?
- Not gonna go there.
175
00:06:41,275 --> 00:06:42,693
There is no need.
176
00:06:42,776 --> 00:06:44,653
I have a wire built
into my head.
177
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,113
Okay.
Better head in.
178
00:06:46,196 --> 00:06:49,241
Something tells me this guy's
the punctual type.
179
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,577
So, where do you guys want me --
on that ridge over there?
180
00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:53,037
Honey of a shot from
over there.
181
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,539
No, Headshot.
Just... hang tight for now.
182
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,541
Yeah, you just park that cute
little derriere of yours
183
00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,001
right here.
184
00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:00,711
You know, enough,
Shore Leave.
185
00:07:00,794 --> 00:07:02,546
We're all just a little tired
186
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,549
of the whole sassy,
gay-guy schtick, okay?
187
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:06,842
You know I'm with Amber.
188
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,345
Mm, really? [chuckling]
Does Amber know that?
189
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,013
What?
What's that supposed to mean?
190
00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:12,681
Hey, you know, yeah,
that, uh, ridge up there
191
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,350
does look pretty good.
192
00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:16,936
Yeah, you got a good shot
from up there.
193
00:07:18,562 --> 00:07:21,565
Er, uh, sweet ride,
Steppenwolf.
194
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:25,861
Thanks. Built the old Doom buggy
here myself back in '66.
195
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:29,573
Ford Cobra engine, chrome-plated
Stromberg carburetors,
196
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,867
Bobby Barr racing headers --
197
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,577
She's not street legal,
of course,
198
00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:35,579
but then,
l am a supervillain.
199
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:37,748
Oh, but those were
heady times.
200
00:07:37,831 --> 00:07:39,667
We'd all get together
on the weekends
201
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,460
and race one another.
202
00:07:41,543 --> 00:07:45,172
I, in my Mantle-mobile, and
Boggles in his Clue Car.
203
00:07:45,255 --> 00:07:46,882
Boggles...
204
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,217
Hey, who was that one
fellow --
205
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,844
uh, what's his name?
With the mustache?
206
00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:52,388
Oh, that narrows it down.
207
00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:53,889
No, no.
You know the one.
208
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,641
He had a dog
whom he taught to drive,
209
00:07:55,724 --> 00:07:57,643
and it would taunt
and snicker at us.
210
00:07:57,726 --> 00:07:59,353
What?!
Oh, you senile, old fool.
211
00:07:59,436 --> 00:08:01,063
You're thinking
of the "Wacky Races."
212
00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:04,608
Yes, yes. They could get
quite wacky at times.
213
00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:06,944
DRAGOON:
Ooh! We should get a dog.
214
00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,824
- So...
- So...
215
00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:14,076
You look different from your photographs.
216
00:08:14,159 --> 00:08:16,996
- Are you disappointed?
- Ambivalent.
217
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:20,457
Merely re-calibrating expectations.
218
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,960
There.
- I guess you do this a lot.
219
00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:25,337
Actually, it is
my first time.
220
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,006
Really, now.
You don't say.
221
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:28,465
Affirmative.
222
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,676
I have difficulty connecting
with people.
223
00:08:30,759 --> 00:08:33,470
Some of my co-workers have been
razzing me about it.
224
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:35,639
Tell me about your
co-workers.
225
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,516
Nice, G.R.
Real subtle.
226
00:08:37,599 --> 00:08:38,976
VENDATA:
Are you ready to order?
227
00:08:39,059 --> 00:08:41,395
Full disclosure --
I do not eat.
228
00:08:41,478 --> 00:08:43,522
I do.
However, I can only consume
229
00:08:43,605 --> 00:08:46,150
a specially formulated
enzyme paste.
230
00:08:46,233 --> 00:08:47,651
So...
231
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:50,487
Yes.
Let us go somewhere else.
232
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:52,114
No, no. Don't!
233
00:08:52,197 --> 00:08:54,450
Abort. Abort.
Can he even hear me?
234
00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:55,576
VENDATA:
Where is your vehicle parked?
235
00:08:55,659 --> 00:08:57,911
I took the public transportation.
236
00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:59,830
Then we will take
my vehicle.
237
00:08:59,913 --> 00:09:02,082
[car alarm chirps]
238
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:08,797
BROCK:
Where the hell is he taking him?
239
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,340
We're in the middle
of nowhere.
240
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:12,092
Maybe he's looking for a nice,
quiet place
241
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:13,343
to park and neck.
242
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,095
Or a nice, quiet place
for a hit.
243
00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:16,805
Not if I take him out first.
244
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,807
BROCK:
No. Headshot, Headshot, wait a sec.
245
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:22,269
Snoop, throw the cloak up.
Dude!
246
00:09:22,352 --> 00:09:24,271
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
I'm on it.
247
00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:26,148
Oh, where did
all my windows go?
248
00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:28,233
Come on, man.
You're gonna blow our cover.
249
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,240
Is something the matter?
250
00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:37,159
VENDATA:
Negative.
251
00:09:37,242 --> 00:09:39,703
I thought I saw something,
but I did not.
252
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:41,121
Have you been here before?
253
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,040
No. I have not.
254
00:09:43,123 --> 00:09:44,833
Welcome to Don Hell's,
gentlemen.
255
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,753
Guild I.D.'s, please.
256
00:09:47,836 --> 00:09:50,881
Sorry, Galacticon, you know
how Don is about rules.
257
00:09:50,964 --> 00:09:53,926
You fellas have a good time
tonight, okay?
258
00:09:54,009 --> 00:09:56,178
So, it's a, uh...
nightclub?
259
00:09:56,261 --> 00:09:58,180
And... we just lost
his signal.
260
00:09:58,263 --> 00:09:59,807
- What? Get it back.
- Well, I can't.
261
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,183
They must have gone
underground.
262
00:10:01,266 --> 00:10:02,351
Stupid machine!
263
00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:04,061
BROCK:
So, you're telling me
264
00:10:04,144 --> 00:10:06,438
we just sent our unarmed
civilian informant
265
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,732
into an underground nest
of supervillains,
266
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,568
and we're deaf,
dumb, and blind out here?!
267
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:14,696
[electronic dance music plays]
268
00:10:18,325 --> 00:10:20,285
BROCK:
Got a lot of old villain crap here
269
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,412
from my bodyguard days.
270
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:24,081
Should find something
that will fit you.
271
00:10:24,164 --> 00:10:26,041
So, what is this, like your
Fortress of Brockitude?
272
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,334
Secret Brock cave?
273
00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:29,211
Shouldn't you have blindfolded
me before you let me in?
274
00:10:29,294 --> 00:10:30,420
Gassed me or something?
275
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:31,797
Keep it up, and I might.
Here.
276
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,757
So, what, did you kill
all these guys?
277
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:36,593
Most, yeah. Some of them just
dropped their shit and ran.
278
00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,220
- Who was this chief?
- I don't know.
279
00:10:38,303 --> 00:10:40,430
I was too busy road-hauling him
to catch his name.
280
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:43,475
Unless it was
"Wait, wait, please stop"-man.
281
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,644
Snoop, we're gonna need
two Guild I.D.'s.
282
00:10:45,727 --> 00:10:47,604
One for a, uh, yeti mummy,
283
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,815
and, uh, who do you
wanna be?
284
00:10:49,898 --> 00:10:52,943
Hmm.
How about The Fruit Bat.
285
00:10:53,026 --> 00:10:54,319
And one for
The Fruit Bat.
286
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:57,823
Wait, wait. No, no, no.
I'm Conquista-dorable.
287
00:10:57,906 --> 00:10:59,658
Oh, just hurry up
and pick one.
288
00:10:59,741 --> 00:11:01,118
HATRED:
All right, whoever's in there,
289
00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:03,829
put your hands
where I can see them.
290
00:11:03,912 --> 00:11:05,122
[gun cocks]
291
00:11:05,205 --> 00:11:06,665
Ah, hey.
It's just you guys.
292
00:11:06,748 --> 00:11:10,586
Uh, what are you up --
[exclaims]
293
00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:13,380
- Aw, dude.
- What? He startled me.
294
00:11:13,463 --> 00:11:15,257
Besides, we're on a secret
mission here.
295
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:17,342
You know he would have tried
to crash the party.
296
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:19,344
DOC:
Party? You guys having a party in here?
297
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,305
Hope I'm invited,
seeing as it's my house
298
00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:22,973
you're breaking
and entering.
299
00:11:23,056 --> 00:11:25,475
Oh, hey, Doc, uh, no.
No party.
300
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,729
Just, uh, came to, uh, grab
some of my old stuff.
301
00:11:28,812 --> 00:11:30,355
So, we're just leaving.
302
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:32,274
Great.
Hatred's off the wagon again.
303
00:11:32,357 --> 00:11:33,567
Nice work, Brock.
304
00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:35,611
Wh-- is that
my yeti-mummy costume?
305
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:37,279
You never returned it
to the shop'?
306
00:11:37,362 --> 00:11:40,157
Uh, yeah, no. That's what
I had to come back here for.
307
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,284
Sorry about that. I'll take care
of the late fee.
308
00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:44,286
Come on, Brock.
You never could lie to me.
309
00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:45,996
Where's the party?
310
00:11:46,079 --> 00:11:47,289
Doc, I really gotta go.
311
00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:49,291
The costume shop closes
in 10 minutes.
312
00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:51,293
I don't want to get charged
for another day.
313
00:11:51,376 --> 00:11:53,545
[tires squeal]
314
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:57,382
BARTENDER: All right, that's
a rum and coke, Torn Collins,
315
00:11:57,466 --> 00:12:00,427
old fashioned,
absinthe and soda, kamikaze,
316
00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:03,013
single-malt scotch neat,
and a light beer.
317
00:12:03,096 --> 00:12:04,514
Enjoy, guys.
318
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,516
What were you thinking?!
We're mixing drinks.
319
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,561
Beer before liquor,
never been sicker.
320
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,647
- Then drink yours first.
- Never.
321
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,649
You made it. Welcome.
Welcome.
322
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,901
Look who else
decided to show up.
323
00:12:15,984 --> 00:12:18,153
If it isn't Councilman fun.
324
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,864
Who the hell's he with?
ls that G-G-G-G-Galacticon?
325
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:24,701
[laughs]
I didn't know Vendata was into rough trade.
326
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:26,536
That Galacticon guy is
in here every week
327
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,747
picking up a new john.
328
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:30,332
And here is another thing
329
00:12:30,415 --> 00:12:32,501
that has always vexed me
about that show.
330
00:12:32,584 --> 00:12:34,211
Why do they call it "Chips"
331
00:12:34,294 --> 00:12:37,172
as an acronym for California
Highway Patrol?
332
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,049
It should logically be
pronounced "chipes,"
333
00:12:39,132 --> 00:12:41,927
with a long
334
00:12:42,010 --> 00:12:44,554
My co-workers
I told you about.
335
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,431
I should probably say "hello."
336
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,350
Great.
I am eager to meet them.
337
00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:51,770
No. No.
I will only be a moment.
338
00:12:51,853 --> 00:12:54,022
ST. CLOUD:
I don't see what the problem is.
339
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,942
I'm a fully licensed member of
this Guild in good standing.
340
00:12:57,025 --> 00:12:58,944
Club's full,
Truman Ca-blow-me.
341
00:12:59,027 --> 00:13:02,030
'Sup, guys.
Can I see some l.D.?
342
00:13:03,323 --> 00:13:06,243
All right.
Enjoy yourselves, gentlemen.
343
00:13:06,326 --> 00:13:08,829
How come they get to go in?
344
00:13:09,913 --> 00:13:12,624
Geez, look at this place.
Tragic.
345
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:15,252
Ugh, right?
Jungle is so '90s.
346
00:13:15,335 --> 00:13:17,087
All right.
I'm gonna go look for Ghost --
347
00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:18,964
for, uh, Galacticon.
348
00:13:19,047 --> 00:13:21,925
You hang close to the door in
case things get weird... er.
349
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,094
You got it,
Chew-brock-a.
350
00:13:26,888 --> 00:13:29,975
Ooh, somebody's been
working out.
351
00:13:30,058 --> 00:13:32,394
Oh, are you kidding?
I practically live at the gym.
352
00:13:32,477 --> 00:13:35,605
Oh. [giggles]
I'm called Vespertina.
353
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:37,274
Well, I call you adorable.
354
00:13:37,357 --> 00:13:40,068
Girlfriend, that costume
is to die for.
355
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:44,072
Barkeep, two appletinis,
s'il vous plait.
356
00:13:47,492 --> 00:13:49,244
[car horn honks]
357
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:52,789
All right.
All right, already.
358
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,458
Where's White?
Isn't he coming?
359
00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:56,460
Who? Steve Albino'?
[chuckling] No.
360
00:13:56,543 --> 00:13:58,211
He's still mixing
the "Jacket" single.
361
00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,963
[chuckles]
That thing.
362
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:02,049
No wonder you were so eager
to get out.
363
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:05,010
- Hey.
- Greetings, Brock Samson.
364
00:14:05,093 --> 00:14:06,678
- Shh.
- Apologies.
365
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:09,306
I regret to report my date
is not going well.
366
00:14:09,389 --> 00:14:10,974
Conversation -- strained.
367
00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:12,309
Rapport -- wanting.
368
00:14:12,392 --> 00:14:13,977
Never mind about that.
We're aborting.
369
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,103
Where's Vendata?
370
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,563
He ditched me for his
co-workers.
371
00:14:16,646 --> 00:14:17,814
No. Don't point.
372
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:20,317
Well, I just wanted to say
"hello."
373
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,486
I do not want to leave
my friend waiting.
374
00:14:22,569 --> 00:14:25,197
Don't look now, Vendata,
but your so-called "friend"
375
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,699
looks like he found himself
another "friend."
376
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,910
That yeti mummy is oddly
familiar.
377
00:14:29,993 --> 00:14:33,080
20 bucks says Galacticon
gets him down to the bathroom
378
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,790
in less than five minutes.
379
00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:37,459
Guy's into bears.
380
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:39,586
HEADSHOT:
I'm just saying I'm exceptionally talented
381
00:14:39,669 --> 00:14:41,797
at two things in this world,
Snoopy --
382
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,424
sniping and being extra
handsome.
383
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:47,010
And they're both being
squandered on this mission.
384
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:49,721
[warbling ]
385
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,515
Crap, oh, crap,
oh, crap, oh, crap.
386
00:14:51,598 --> 00:14:55,352
Uh, moving target, 110 --
no, 120 yards, no wind --
387
00:14:55,435 --> 00:14:58,355
I got this.
388
00:14:58,438 --> 00:15:00,065
BILLY:
I told you.
389
00:15:00,148 --> 00:15:01,608
Put your real
damn glasses on already.
390
00:15:01,691 --> 00:15:03,318
Fine.
Who puts a rock
391
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,028
In the middle
of a driveway, anyway?
392
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:07,614
Are you sure this is where
Brock said the party is?
393
00:15:07,697 --> 00:15:10,033
Well, he didn't
say exactly.
394
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,618
I, uh...
kind of followed him.
395
00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:14,704
Wait a minute. Are we even
invited to this thing?
396
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,415
Hey, if he's gonna
borrow my costume,
397
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,875
I think I'm entitled to go
to his costume party.
398
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:21,503
What party?
Do you hear any music?
399
00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:22,838
There isn't even a door
on this.
400
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:25,674
Well, here.
Take a peek in that window.
401
00:15:25,757 --> 00:15:27,968
There's nothing.
It's a big elevator shaft.
402
00:15:28,051 --> 00:15:30,220
[gun cocks]
403
00:15:30,303 --> 00:15:32,389
I think you guys
must be lost.
404
00:15:32,472 --> 00:15:35,851
Um... is this
the costume party?
405
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:37,519
[laughs]
That's pretty good.
406
00:15:37,602 --> 00:15:39,479
I didn't even see your lips move
or nothing.
407
00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:41,982
[chuckles]
I don't think you understand.
408
00:15:42,065 --> 00:15:44,067
We're with Brock.
I'm Dr. Ven--
409
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:46,945
...triloquist.
Dr. Ventriloquist.
410
00:15:47,028 --> 00:15:47,946
Work with me.
411
00:15:48,029 --> 00:15:49,823
Yeah, but don't let his title
fool you.
412
00:15:49,906 --> 00:15:51,950
I'm the smart one.
Now, we got a show to do.
413
00:15:52,033 --> 00:15:54,161
You gonna let us in, or are you
just gonna stand there
414
00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:55,829
letting the flies out?
415
00:15:55,912 --> 00:15:58,039
[laughs mechanically]
416
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,751
[spits]
Guess who just showed up?
417
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,754
Oh, holy crap.
We gotta go right now.
418
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:07,007
I'll try to run
interference.
419
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:10,385
Hey, watch it!
420
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:13,680
Oh, no, please.
After you.
421
00:16:13,763 --> 00:16:15,765
Ack! I hate this place.
422
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:18,643
I love this place! Whoo!
423
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,274
Other way.
Other way.
424
00:16:24,357 --> 00:16:25,609
I got an idea.
425
00:16:25,692 --> 00:16:27,611
And... they're off.
Sorry, Vendata.
426
00:16:27,694 --> 00:16:29,613
I just call them
like I see them.
427
00:16:29,696 --> 00:16:31,114
Sorry to bother you, boss,
428
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,657
but, uh, Dr. Venture
just walked in
429
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,284
with a one-eyed midget,
430
00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:36,286
pretending to be
a ventriloquist act.
431
00:16:36,369 --> 00:16:39,247
Well, gentlemen, it's been
swell, but I must run.
432
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,041
Boss is always on the clock,
you know?
433
00:16:41,124 --> 00:16:44,377
But, uh, make sure you stick
around for the show.
434
00:16:46,713 --> 00:16:48,423
Wow. He is fast.
435
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:52,385
Hello.
Galacticon, are you in here?
436
00:16:53,386 --> 00:16:55,722
Gasp.
It is true.
437
00:16:55,805 --> 00:16:57,849
Ow.
438
00:16:59,809 --> 00:17:01,978
Shore Leave, get ready.
We're going.
439
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:05,815
You know, I've been
watching you all night.
440
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,442
It's a real nice outfit
you've got.
441
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,819
Take it somewhere else,
Captain Calamari.
442
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,196
I don't dig on seafood.
443
00:17:11,279 --> 00:17:12,948
I liked it even more
when it belonged
444
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:14,741
to Sri Lankan Devil Bird.
445
00:17:14,824 --> 00:17:17,744
Well, uh, maybe we have
the same evil tailor --
446
00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:21,039
Sy's, Route 19?
A lot of us bird guys use him.
447
00:17:21,122 --> 00:17:23,208
Yeah, hi.
I'm The Red-Throated Loon.
448
00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:25,502
Sri Lankan Devil Bird was
a good friend of mine.
449
00:17:25,585 --> 00:17:27,504
They never found his body,
450
00:17:27,587 --> 00:17:31,550
and you ain't him, so just
who are you?
451
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,635
There a problem here?
452
00:17:33,718 --> 00:17:35,387
Uh, no.
No problem at all.
453
00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:36,888
- Sorry.
- Beat it.
454
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:39,391
Now, can we please get
the fuck out of here?
455
00:17:39,474 --> 00:17:40,559
[ Record scratches ]
456
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,227
DON HELL:
Don't leave now.
457
00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:44,980
Party's just getting started.
458
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:47,482
Let's give a warm
Don Hell's welcome
459
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:50,318
to the star of tonight's
entertainment --
460
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,320
the man you loved to hate
461
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:55,782
since he was just
a little boy.
462
00:17:55,865 --> 00:17:59,327
Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture!
463
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:00,328
[cheering ]
464
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:04,124
BOTH:
[ muffled screams ]
465
00:18:04,207 --> 00:18:05,375
What the fuck?
466
00:18:05,458 --> 00:18:07,377
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
That's right.
467
00:18:07,460 --> 00:18:11,089
Boy Venture himself and his
little boy-man friend
468
00:18:11,172 --> 00:18:13,675
have agreed to play...
469
00:18:13,758 --> 00:18:18,221
ALL:
Wheel of torture!
470
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,765
No, we're almost
out of here.
471
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,018
Don't go fishing for trouble,
Brock Cousteau.
472
00:18:23,101 --> 00:18:25,228
He's not our mission.
- Just take Ghost -- or Galact--
473
00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:28,481
Get him out of here!
I can do this on my own.
474
00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:30,483
What? Commit suicide?
475
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,069
Blow your cover and start
an inter-agency war?
476
00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:34,821
I know he's your old
sugar daddy,
477
00:18:34,904 --> 00:18:36,740
but is he really
worth it?
478
00:18:36,823 --> 00:18:40,118
What manner of torture awaits
the feckless physicist
479
00:18:40,201 --> 00:18:42,120
and his funny little friend?
480
00:18:42,203 --> 00:18:43,747
The Human Pifiata?
481
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:46,416
Five Pains of Li Si?
482
00:18:46,499 --> 00:18:47,876
Ooh! Ass to ass!
483
00:18:47,959 --> 00:18:49,919
Oh, dear.
I'm not with him.
484
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:52,380
Wrong night, Dragoon.
485
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,716
Hello.
Hey, yeah, it's Flying Squid.
486
00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:55,842
Yeah, long time, no --
listen.
487
00:18:55,925 --> 00:18:57,052
I'm down at the club,
488
00:18:57,135 --> 00:18:58,970
and you will not believe
what's going on.
489
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:00,972
You got to get down here now.
490
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,932
No, there's no cover.
491
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,518
Your lovely hellstesses are
coming around now.
492
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:08,021
The lucky villain with the
winning torture ticket
493
00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:10,774
gets to come on up and do the
deed him or herself.
494
00:19:10,857 --> 00:19:12,942
You in position?
- Almost.
495
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,487
So, let's get spinning.
496
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:17,697
[cheering ]
497
00:19:19,699 --> 00:19:20,950
Hurry up, man.
498
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,577
That thing's not gonna
spin all night.
499
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:23,578
I need more time.
500
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,830
I've never taken
this much girth.
501
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,291
[cheering continues]
502
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:36,007
The winner is...
503
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,927
Acid Dip.
504
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:41,471
- Ooh, I have --
- Winner!
505
00:19:41,554 --> 00:19:43,682
DON HELL:
And Vendata -- the big winner.
506
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,684
[chuckles]
Finally got lucky today, bud.
507
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:49,145
Kidding, kidding.
Come on up and do the honors.
508
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,690
What are you doing?
509
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:54,317
I don't know, man.
Just be ready for anything.
510
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:56,194
No!
511
00:19:56,277 --> 00:19:58,321
The metal murder man
from my nightmares!
512
00:19:58,405 --> 00:19:59,656
He was real.
513
00:19:59,739 --> 00:20:03,243
MONARCH:
What the fuck is going on here?!
514
00:20:03,326 --> 00:20:07,664
That man you are illegally
holding is myarch.
515
00:20:07,747 --> 00:20:09,332
Thanks for the tip, Squid.
Honey.
516
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:10,333
[ Clears throat]
517
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:13,503
Guild of Calamitous Intent
bylaws, article 97-D --
518
00:20:13,586 --> 00:20:15,922
"No villain may arch previously
claimed nemesis without
519
00:20:16,005 --> 00:20:20,218
first consulting the primary
arch of said nemesis."
520
00:20:20,301 --> 00:20:21,720
THE NERVE:
Except...
521
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:24,723
the articles of collusion,
paragraph stipulates
522
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:27,726
in the event of a team-up,
the team's right to arch
523
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,978
supersedes that
of the primary.
524
00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:33,189
Just studied this
for the Council exams.
525
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:35,817
But... not without offering
the primary arch
526
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,902
first right of refusal
527
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:41,781
to participate in
and/or lead said team-up.
528
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:44,284
She's, uh -- she's right.
529
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:46,911
All right. All right.
Looks like the show is over.
530
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:49,372
- [ Grumbling]
- Thank you for coming,
531
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:51,207
and, uh, be sure to thank
the Monarch
532
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:52,751
for his untimely arrival.
533
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,712
Be sure to tip your waitstaff
on your way out.
534
00:20:55,795 --> 00:20:57,130
Good night.
- Hey!
535
00:20:57,213 --> 00:20:58,715
Yeah, keep walking, Tin Man.
536
00:20:58,798 --> 00:21:00,592
Oh, is everybody leaving?
537
00:21:00,675 --> 00:21:02,469
Is there an after party?
538
00:21:06,681 --> 00:21:09,100
Where is my wife?
Have you -- honey --
539
00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:12,020
Does not compute.
540
00:21:12,103 --> 00:21:14,397
Oh, hey. Sorry, man.
I haven't seen her.
541
00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:16,024
Does not com-- who am I?
542
00:21:16,107 --> 00:21:18,026
I think the plane is
going down...
543
00:21:18,109 --> 00:21:19,861
Are we done here?
Please say you're not gonna
544
00:21:19,944 --> 00:21:22,238
make me save him from
the Monarch now, are you?
545
00:21:22,322 --> 00:21:25,658
Oh, what's he gonna do?
He's the Monarch.
546
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:28,661
Well, well, well,
Venture.
547
00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:33,583
Looks like I've finally got you
right where I --
548
00:21:33,666 --> 00:21:35,335
[ up-tempo music plays]
549
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:43,074
Do you want subtitles for any video?
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550
00:22:01,152 --> 00:22:04,113
And so, in acknowledgement
of your expertise
551
00:22:04,197 --> 00:22:07,116
and extensive history
of service to this Guild,
552
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,118
I hereby invite you to join
553
00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:12,831
this esteemed
Council of 13.
554
00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:16,000
Um... could I have a day
to think about it?
555
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:19,128
I should really probably talk
this over with my husband.
556
00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:23,132
Ah...
best show on television.
557
00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:25,927
Who wants more popcorn?
558
00:22:26,010 --> 00:22:28,012
What did I miss?
559
00:22:29,305 --> 00:23:29,803
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