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1
00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:03,879
86:
Are you drunk?
2
00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:06,590
The records clearly
state that Champ is older.
3
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,884
Older sea monster means
a hardier breeding stock!
4
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,928
Who has ever even heard of Champ?
5
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,305
The Loch Ness monster is a celebrity!
6
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,224
He could totally kick Champ's ass.
7
00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,099
21:
Ogopogo.
8
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,894
[HENCHMEN GASP]
9
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,854
21:
Champ is a picture of a log.
10
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:24,233
Nessie is a toy submarine with
a head made out of plastic wood.
11
00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:27,110
Ogopogo is a plesiosaur --
12
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:30,030
a fucking plesiosaur.
13
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,990
- Oh, we are screwed.
- What?
14
00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:33,617
- Nice job.
- Who is this guy?
15
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,619
You're gonna tell me a log,
or at best, a beaver
16
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,496
could kick the ass of a plesiosaur?
17
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,414
Seriously, what is he?
Like, a cryptozoologist?
18
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,624
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
19
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,293
Or is he Scully and Mulder's kid?
20
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,004
Ogo... pogo.
21
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:47,923
Well, uh, of course.
22
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,717
I mean, it's no contest.
23
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,344
Plesiosaur!
24
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:55,180
Well, uh, case closed then.
25
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,769
What was that?
26
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,146
That was 21. The 21!
27
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,940
It's not even his number anymore.
28
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,942
I mean, the guys is, like,
Henchman 1 or something,
29
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,902
but he won't change his number!
30
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,571
Why didn't you tell me that was two-ton 21?
31
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:11,989
That guy's, like, a living legend!
32
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,365
Man!
33
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,367
I'm so glad I didn't
mention the car accident.
34
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:16,952
Car accident?
35
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:19,621
Car accident?
36
00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:20,956
That was no car accident.
37
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,958
24 died in a car intentional.
38
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,751
What's your number, scrub?
39
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,253
I-I-I-I'm Henchman 86.
40
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,672
You're 87 now! Listen up, noobs!
41
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,967
I want henchmen 87
through 95 for field duty!
42
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,052
You got 15 minutes to put on your makeup
43
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:36,805
and fix your hair!
44
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,265
What are you smiling about?
45
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:39,975
- I have allergies.
- What? Who cares?
46
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,977
Dude, I was Henchman 87.
47
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,854
You just got me moved up to 86.
48
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,439
Now I don't have to rake leaves all week.
49
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,858
I have allergies.
50
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,321
MONARCH:
What are you complaining about?
51
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,823
21 has turned my obsessive war with Venture
52
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,618
into the slickest operation
in organized villainy.
53
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,453
I know, but I'm worried about him.
54
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:00,912
Worry about me!
55
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,873
I have an interview with
Modern Enemy Monthly,
56
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,500
and I have this huge zit
growing on the side of my nose!
57
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,002
You can't see it.
58
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,462
That's because it hasn't bloomed.
59
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,964
God, I can feel it pressing its way out.
60
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,716
Oooh, it will surface.
61
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,009
And it will be a whopper!
62
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,844
Aside from your pending blemish,
63
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,012
I'm not worried about you.
64
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,014
21 loses his only friend and--
65
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,098
What? Who?
66
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,433
24!
67
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:24,019
Really? Seriously? They were inseparable.
68
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,187
That? Oh, stop it.
69
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,022
He's seen hundreds of henchmen die.
70
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,608
He's personally killed some. He's fine.
71
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,026
Do you even know what he's done?
72
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,028
Yes, built us a mud room,
73
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,906
turned my henchmen into a
crack team of winged killers,
74
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,991
alphabetized my DVD collection,
75
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:41,203
put little lasers on my wrist shooters...
76
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,788
hired this guy.
77
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,540
Confit of duck served with a
raspberry balsamic vinaigrette
78
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,626
on a bed of rocket and sunchoke.
79
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:50,045
See! Rocket and sunchoke.
80
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,546
Sweetie, do you even know what that is?
81
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,256
- Not a clue.
- Neither do I!
82
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,883
And that is fancy!
83
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,051
21 did that!
84
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,053
I wish that was all he was doing.
85
00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,846
No, it wasn't my pool.
86
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,765
That's not the point.
87
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,475
She was, like, hanging on my shoulders,
88
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:06,269
and I could feel her big
chest bumps against my back.
89
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,647
She was totally into me-- What?
90
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,732
No, she was a strong swimmer!
91
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:13,652
I'm telling you, she wasn't
drowning she was into me!
92
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:18,073
It was a one piece with a
racing stripe down the side.
93
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,409
That's ridiculous!
94
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,369
Why would that mean she was sloppy!
95
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,787
Didn't have a detachable skirt.
96
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,080
It was a regular bathing suit.
97
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,832
Please! That's it?
98
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,667
Come on, I still talk
to my friend's corpse.
99
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,585
That's a stuffed cat! It's different.
100
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,879
I mean, it's about as creepy,
but it's different.
101
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,673
Mr. Mostly Mittens was my best friend!
102
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,883
That cat could fetch a rubber band!
103
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,719
He'd bring it back every time!
104
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,262
It's the same kinda thing, it's just--
105
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,139
What are you doing?
106
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,099
They didn't have dinner yet.
107
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,476
If you feed them table scraps,
they'll just keep doing it!
108
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,104
Get out! Now! Go!
109
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,106
All right, Sam. Relax.
110
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,191
It's all good.
111
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,110
I'm more concerned about
those rotten little things
112
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,194
than I am Henchman 21.
113
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:59,114
I'm just worried he's
gonna do something crazy.
114
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,074
He's a model hench--
115
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,118
Man, oh man!
116
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:06,413
Rocket and sunchoke
tastes like burning soap!
117
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,873
The training is complete.
118
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,207
The timing is right.
119
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:13,128
It's time I let you in on
"The Lazarus Project."
120
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,630
No, does it sound like I was
gonna bring you back from the dead?
121
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,132
Okay, whatever.
122
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,759
I just thought it sounded cool.
123
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,343
I also have "Avenging Angels,"
124
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,220
"Dragon Thunder Undertaking,"
125
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,848
and, my second choice:
"Eye for an I."
126
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,058
The second "eye" is the letter I.
127
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,060
It's pretty cool.
I also have a logo for it.
128
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,146
Sweet, I like that one, too.
129
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,231
I have a list of your possible murderers.
130
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:35,317
We shall apprehend, interrogate,
131
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:39,070
and if need be, execute each suspect.
132
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,947
I am totally being serious.
133
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,074
"An Eye for an I" begins tonight!
134
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,159
And it begins...
135
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,661
with the Venture family.
136
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,169
Snap!
137
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,170
That was your neck, Hank.
138
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,338
I just broke your neck.
139
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,006
Now I'm gonna take your skin off
140
00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:59,883
and wear it to the ding dong prom!
141
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,009
I knew it was you.
142
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,177
What is going on?
143
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,179
Well, good morning, Mr. Sleepy Kill Me!
144
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,556
I just murdered your brother
and had enough time
145
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,558
to rip his leg off and beat you with it.
146
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,019
You boys gotta get with the program!
147
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,229
I knew it was you!
148
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,190
And you were so lucky I did,
because I was about to--
149
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,817
That is horse poop!
150
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:20,195
Look, I don't wanna fake
dismember you boys every night,
151
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,989
but you have to realize
that you are just...
152
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,408
more fragile than you're accustomed to.
153
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,368
All right, fine.
154
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:29,037
But in the future, could you
warn us before you do that?
155
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,207
In the future, the lazy eloi
will be living above ground.
156
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:35,001
But underground,
there will be cave monsters
157
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,587
that use the above ground people for food.
158
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,673
Dean, they eat them.
159
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,758
Now I know what happened to
my copy of The Time Machine.
160
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,385
See, I didn't take it!
161
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,011
I expect an apology.
162
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,221
And also, I want a dollar.
163
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:47,430
Emotional damage.
164
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:48,890
This is ridiculous.
165
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:49,975
I'm going back to sleep!
166
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,476
Yes, it is!
167
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,145
It's ridiculous that you two
can't hit the panic room button
168
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,273
when someone tries to kill you!
169
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,859
Brock never had problems protecting us.
170
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,236
Low blow, Hank.
171
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,404
Umm, Dean?
172
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:03,446
What?
173
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:07,242
Which book comes after
Mystery of the Burning Island?
174
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:08,243
Giant Boy Detective
175
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,245
and the Secret of the Disappearing Pyramid.
176
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,163
Okay, I'm, uh...
177
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,373
I'm just gonna borrow that.
178
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:16,251
DR. GIRLFRIEND:
And this little piggy went "wee wee wee"
179
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,460
all the way home.
180
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,337
Wait, another little piggy.
181
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,256
What does this piggy do?
182
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:22,966
MONARCH:
Hardly a little piggy.
183
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,260
DR. GIRLFRIEND:
Well, he already did all his shopping.
184
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,721
MONARCH: So there is no need
for him to go to market.
185
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,265
DR. GIRLFRIEND: And there's no way
he's gonna go "wee wee wee--
186
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,100
MONARCH: I didn't think
you'd let me do that the first time.
187
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,685
I'm not gonna push it.
188
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:37,439
Well, what if I find a
nice place for the piggy?
189
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,649
I have some ideas.
190
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,818
Ugh. Honey, your face!
191
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,279
Sweety-- Ugh! It's disgusting!
192
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:45,405
That bad?
193
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,657
I told you that zit was ready to bloom.
194
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,659
I'm gonna go hit this with some tweezers.
195
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,036
Don't get dressed!
196
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,038
If that's a zit, I'm gonna call Guiness.
197
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:54,623
That's a world record.
198
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:55,624
This is something way worse.
199
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:58,209
Aaah! Motherfucker!
200
00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,377
What is that?
201
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:05,842
Eat it! Too fast for ya.
202
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,302
One is mint in box.
203
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,845
The other is out of stock. Over.
204
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,306
Copy that. I'll handle it. Over.
205
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,475
Dean. Dean?
206
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,924
Hey, dude! Sleep heavy enough?
207
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,272
Aaahh! Oh, gross!
208
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:20,315
The kid's packing wood.
209
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,150
Copy. Do you require backup? Over.
210
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,319
No, no, not that kind of
"packing wood." Seriously.
211
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,321
And trust me,
nobody else needs to see this.
212
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,978
It's rank.
213
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:29,771
Ugh.
214
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,243
Grim.
215
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,412
All right, let's move.
216
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,334
[CLATTER]
217
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,629
Ow! Goddamn coffee table! Motherfucker!
218
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,297
Come on, let me see!
219
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,341
My face is massive! I'm a freak!
220
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,177
[LAUGHS]
Can I come in if I have a ticket?
221
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,054
I promise not to bang on your cage.
222
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,764
Yes, please make light of this.
223
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:53,640
It's helping.
224
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,600
I feel much better about
my hideous deformity.
225
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,852
Should we change our
costume theme, sweetie?
226
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,354
Maybe you could be Glob Face,
227
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,356
and I could be Lady Glob Face.
228
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,442
Maybe we'll get a Globmobile
and Globbo the Wonder Dog.
229
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,361
Why are you not helping me?
230
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,196
Well, what do you want me to do?
231
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,657
Clearly, you're allergic
to whatever rocket is.
232
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,909
Or whatever sunchoke is.
233
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,703
Maybe a fortress of Globitude?
234
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,287
[SIGHS]
235
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,331
I'm going back in the bathroom.
236
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,457
Get up!
237
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:20,792
Emergency!
238
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,127
Our home has been violated!
239
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,920
What time is it?
240
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,046
Go time!
241
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,341
I was downstairs sitting in front
of the computer masturbating,
242
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,342
and then zip!
243
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:30,927
This is sticking out of my neck,
244
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,971
my clothes are gone,
and the boys are missing!
245
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,139
Oh my God!
246
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,391
Don't you worry! We'll get 'em back.
247
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,809
No, I mean, oh my God, you just told me
248
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,395
you were masturbating in
front of the computer. That's foul!
249
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,521
Oh, what -- and you don't?
250
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,940
Well, yeah. But I'm not proud of it.
251
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,317
Look, you can talk about
your needless shame later.
252
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,153
We have to rescue your sons!
253
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,946
Fine.
254
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,115
Well, that's a Monarch dart, so we...
255
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,033
get them or something?
256
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,409
Not so simple.
257
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,411
Look, I was in the
Guild of Calamitous Intent.
258
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,330
And I'm also a recovered pedophile.
259
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:00,999
So if anyone knows the rules
260
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,126
about abducting young boys from their bed,
261
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,961
it's old Sergeant Hatred.
262
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,838
Why did I let you take this job?
263
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,423
Because I'm great!
264
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,384
Plus I had no job, no home,
and refused to leave yours.
265
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,969
And not the point!
266
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:17,265
This abduction malarkey is
completely against Guild law.
267
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:20,977
So we're gonna handle
this one the Hatred way.
268
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,854
Take some antihistamines!
269
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,606
I don't have a little tickle in my chest,
270
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,066
I look like John Merrick!
271
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,401
I need, like, a cortisone
injection or something, duh!
272
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,361
I don't know, I'm not a doctor!
273
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,237
[PHONE RINGS]
274
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:32,113
Oh, you're not?
275
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,449
Then why the fuck have I been
calling you "Dr. Girlfriend," huh?
276
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:35,909
I'm not that kind of a doctor.
277
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,494
Hold on, I'm gonna get that.
278
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,787
Monarch residence.
279
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,455
Ahem, yeah. Hi.
280
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,123
This is Sergeant Hatred.
281
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,459
I used to live next door, but
now I'm kinda your arch enemy?
282
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,835
Yeah?
283
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,463
Yeah, well, it seems you
illegally took the Venture boys.
284
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,132
So, you're gonna have to hand 'em over,
285
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,551
or I'll come over to your
house and blow it up.
286
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:56,429
And I guess I'll probably
have to kill the both of you, too.
287
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,223
- Hold on.
- Okay.
288
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,308
So, you like the briefs?
289
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,602
I find them a tad too tight
on my little battalion.
290
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,771
Sweetie, I have to take this call!
291
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,106
Who is it?
292
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:07,232
Is it Modern Enemy Monthly?
293
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,483
Uh, yeah.
294
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,527
And they wanna do a blurb on me.
295
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,362
This always happens!
296
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,489
Next thing you know,
it's you naked on the cover!
297
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,324
I knew it!
298
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,367
All right, fine.
299
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,701
But when you talk about me,
300
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,830
constantly use the words,
"genius" and "visionary."
301
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:24,374
So, Giant Boy Detective just puts Elizabeth
302
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,585
on his huge head and
walks right across that lake.
303
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,964
You see, the little waif
leads them to the island--
304
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,507
Hup, she's back on the horn.
305
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:33,716
I'll tell you the rest later.
306
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,510
Listen, I can assure you
307
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:37,512
that the Monarch and I did not take them.
308
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:40,265
Well, I can ass-sure
you, little Miss So-and-so,
309
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,100
that somebody there did.
310
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,726
And if you don't help us get 'em back,
311
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,520
I can ass-sure you
312
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,856
that the Guild will have
your collective heads!
313
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,524
Okay, I'll take care of this.
314
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,151
Wrong! We'll take care of this.
315
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,903
Doc and I are gonna be
at your door in one hour!
316
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,530
Not the door!
317
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,491
I'll meet you at the old observatory.
318
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,009
Looks like the set of The Gilmore Girls.
319
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,552
Looks can be deceiving.
320
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,846
Ever wonder where villains
get their mail sent?
321
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,890
It ain't to their hollowed out volcano!
322
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,559
It's right here -- Malice.
323
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,603
Yeah, that would be more
impressive if I hadn't been here,
324
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,480
like 50 times, and
usually to rescue the boys.
325
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:32,233
We just have to stop at my
old place and pick up some gear.
326
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:35,236
Never know what kinda--
327
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,738
Uh, problem?
328
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,865
You're gonna have to
turn your vehicle around.
329
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,075
This is a gated community.
330
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,745
Yeah, I'm a pretty little flower.
331
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,580
Like a prom date, maybe?
332
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:46,873
This is a gated community.
333
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,876
Enjoy the silence. Are you for supper?
334
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,085
Gated... Gated...
335
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,045
Turtles!
336
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:55,882
Now let's go dream about
little breaded chicken fingers.
337
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,383
Ha! Robots!
338
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,844
Programmed to respond to
over 700 different questions.
339
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:02,513
None of which includes chicken fingers.
340
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,140
Hey, souvenir!
341
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,600
You can use 'em like halloween masks.
342
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:10,313
Maybe Dean can go as a middle-aged
security guard this year, huh?
343
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,398
What is going on?
344
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,651
You have been driven insane!
345
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,528
You have been subjected to
the dreaded Chinese water torture
346
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,614
for easily a half an hour.
347
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,115
You have lost your grip on reality.
348
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:22,575
We're delirious?
349
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,619
So, this is a dream,
350
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:25,703
and we're not really here--
351
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:27,247
Oh, no, you're actually here.
352
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:30,625
But if I'm half monster, and
like half goat and half hor--
353
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:31,918
That's stupid.
354
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,628
Okay, if my bottom half is a horse,
355
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,630
and on top I'm Sin-Eater.
356
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:36,631
Who's Sin-Eater?
357
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,549
Or Wolverine! With bat wings.
358
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:39,717
Dude, you're that henchman guy.
359
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,970
- With bat wings?
- No, that is mental!
360
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,596
You're regular.
361
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,722
Are you sure you did this right?
362
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,557
Because I'm not really tortured.
363
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,226
Just kinda wet.
364
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,395
The real torture is that farty smell.
365
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:51,729
Did you put something in the water?
366
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,147
The water's clean.
367
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,899
But those are totally the buckets we used
368
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,734
to mop up the level 4 bathroom.
369
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:00,738
Hi, honey.
370
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:01,948
What happened? Did you leave?
371
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,118
Yeah, the magazine wanted
to do a quick photo shoot.
372
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,745
At night. At the old observatory.
373
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,872
That was supposed to be my photo shoot!
374
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,958
Wait! What do you have on under your robe?
375
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,167
Clothing?
376
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,795
Not good enough! Let's see it.
377
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:16,879
Knew it!
378
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,047
It's not what you think, sweetie!
379
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,757
Oh, yeah, it's just what I think.
380
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,801
Well, I'm gonna go to the cocoon
381
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,636
and maybe go arching without you.
382
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,679
You like that idea?
383
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:25,847
That's a horrible idea.
384
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,765
Seriously, baby, don't go to the cocoon.
385
00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,684
Why? I haven't been
there in, like, forever.
386
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:30,977
What are you hiding from me?
387
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,770
Sweetie, please don't go--
388
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:35,023
We'll handle the Monarch, mum.
389
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:37,191
He won't be going anywhere.
390
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:40,486
Tim-Tom, I mean just keep him busy
so he doesn't leave.
391
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:41,863
Don't go all crazy.
392
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,448
He'll flip if he knows what's going on.
393
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,700
All right, hold on a second.
I have another call.
394
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,869
- Hi.
- Hi.
395
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,704
I didn't get cut off. I hung up on you.
396
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:51,706
- Oh, I know.
- Why didn't you call me back?
397
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:52,999
I thought you'd just hang up--
398
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,709
DOC:
Are we gonna get your gear, or what?
399
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:57,503
HATRED:
I can't go in there. My ex is in there.
400
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:58,838
Okay, then let's go.
401
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,215
Honestly, what gear do we need --
an H-shaped grapple gun?
402
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:04,052
Oh, will you look at that sweet squaw.
403
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,220
She is just sitting there missing me.
404
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:09,015
What a woman she is-- What? Who's he?
405
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,224
There's a guy in there? Let me see!
406
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,352
- Who is that other guy?
- I can't tell.
407
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,187
Everyone looks the same in a leather mask.
408
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,022
Okay, I recognize the
one with the ball gag.
409
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,607
That's Private Schwa.
410
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,734
I can't look! Tell me what's going on!
411
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,778
Okay, the big guy with
the saddle on his back
412
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:22,820
is just driving his--
413
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,740
Aah! Lie to me! Damn you, lie to me!
414
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,200
Fine, just relax.
415
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,785
Okay, I think they're
rehearsing for a play.
416
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,849
Is there a non-musical, mostly
nude version of Oklahoma!?
417
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,833
Hello. Where is you going?
418
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,335
For a walk. What's it to you?
419
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:38,753
You aren't going anywhere.
420
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,296
I wouldn't even try to move--
421
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,964
Aah aah! Don't finish that sentence.
422
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,342
I'm only gonna say this once.
423
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,760
I don't like you two.
424
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:49,764
And if you ever, ever try
to give me an order again,
425
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,474
I will kill you both,
426
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,726
and feed your tiny rotting bodies
427
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,770
to the neighborhood dogs.
428
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,480
Now, what were you saying?
429
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,065
Have a nice walk?
430
00:14:59,148 --> 00:14:59,941
How about you?
431
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,567
Do I have to get a can
of Raid and spray you?
432
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,736
I didn't say nothing.
433
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,363
Anything?
434
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,781
Nope. Still sane.
435
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,366
Okay.
436
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,784
Well, just tell me when
you're driven so crazy
437
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,786
with the water torture
that you wanna confess.
438
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:12,787
To what?!
439
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,789
Okay, I don't wanna
sound like a know-it-all, but--
440
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,958
It's a little too late for that, Deano.
441
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,085
Aw, Smack! I was just gonna say that!
442
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,795
Har-dee-har.
443
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:21,712
Pwned!
444
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:23,756
This is unprovoked torture and kidnapping.
445
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,591
It's completely against Guild procedure.
446
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,385
The Monarch could
get in big trouble for this.
447
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,803
Do you see the Monarch around?
448
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:29,804
I don't.
449
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,807
Dean, this is about me, and
the murder of my best friend.
450
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:33,891
Your friend was murdered?
451
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:34,809
Duh!
452
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,811
You don't remember a
car blowing up in your yard,
453
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,813
killing my only friend?
454
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:40,148
Oh, wasn't that the same day
455
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:41,941
that 100 gooey copies of me and my brother
456
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,819
were mowed down by a
lunatic in a spinning laser suit?
457
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:48,489
And the day that my best
friend Brock left us forever?
458
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:51,492
How could we forget
one of, like, a million guys
459
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,327
who died on my lawn?
460
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:55,329
Yeah, and that happened
a pretty long time ago.
461
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,331
Why are you doing this now?
462
00:15:57,415 --> 00:16:00,001
After that happened, I was devastated.
463
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,837
I buried most of what I could find of 24.
464
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,840
And with him, I buried my dreams.
465
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,550
HENCHMAN:
Company!
466
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,843
Fire!
467
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,052
Fire!
468
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,554
21:
I couldn't go on being a henchman.
469
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,639
Nothing made sense with 24 gone.
470
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,851
So I went back to my life before I was 21.
471
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:17,894
I went back to being--
472
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:18,853
GARY'S MOM:
Gary!
473
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:19,854
What?
474
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,272
Keep it down in there!
475
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,399
Mom, I'm podcasting my life story!
476
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,859
This is important.
477
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:26,819
GARY'S MOM:
Well, be important quietly!
478
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,321
Okay! Fine!
479
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:29,655
Geesh.
480
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,450
"This was no ordinary
eighth grade Washington trip.
481
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,577
This was the day that I was to be stolen
482
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,870
into the life of a hench--"
483
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,872
- Gary!
- Mom!
484
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,624
But there was nothing for me there.
485
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,460
I knew my purpose was to
make 24's death mean something.
486
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,879
I knew that I had to become
not only a henchman,
487
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:46,589
but a leader of henchmen.
488
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:49,467
I trained myself in the mystic arts.
489
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,468
Lightning bolt!
490
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,053
Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!
491
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:54,138
21:
And in the fighting arts.
492
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:57,558
Hey, that's not --
[GRUNTS]
493
00:16:57,642 --> 00:17:00,770
21: My body became a
muscled killing machine.
494
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,230
HANK:
Well... don't go crazy.
495
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,523
21:
Oh, you should have seen it before.
496
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,149
I did, like a million times.
497
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,484
Anyway, Hank.
498
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,611
I was ready to rejoin my old unit.
499
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:15,576
And under my tutelage,
500
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,370
that unit became the most feared henchmen
501
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,205
ever to don the wings.
502
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:22,875
I vowed never again will we
lose a man to my cowardice.
503
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,919
Oh, yeah.
504
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,254
I did it.
505
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,005
It was me. I killed 24.
506
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,925
We all did, Gary. We all did.
507
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,552
Don't blame me, I didn't!
508
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,095
And you seriously gotta untie me
509
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,222
or you're gonna have to scratch my heinie.
510
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:39,016
Because my heinie totally itches.
511
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,317
Bar's closed.
512
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,944
Gonna have to ask you to leave.
513
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,696
Excuse me, you insolent
soon-to-be-corpse...
514
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,239
Did you just refuse me a drink?
515
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,782
No serving past midnight.
516
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,075
General 21's orders.
517
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:58,035
General 21? General?!
518
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,620
Do you know who you are speaking to?
519
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:00,997
All right, let's go, pal.
520
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,206
I asked nice.
521
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,917
I don't care if you whisper it into
my ear and give me a corsage,
522
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,502
I am not leaving
523
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:10,506
till I get my Fresca.
524
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,216
Whhyyyy!
525
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,844
Why would let them do that to you?
526
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,430
Wait a minute -- I asked
you to do that position.
527
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,599
Apparently I didn't ask you
528
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:22,101
while wearing buttless leather chaps!
529
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:25,730
[THUNDER CRASHES]
530
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:30,901
Oh, what would Giant Boy Detective do?
531
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,990
What the fuck! Why are you here?
532
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,241
Where were you?
533
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,327
The tree fort back there. Who are you?
534
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:41,037
Go home.
535
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,622
Now.
536
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:43,664
I don't need this.
537
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:45,666
Man, what's wrong with your face?
538
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:46,667
What's wrong with yours?
539
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,002
Henry, that's rude.
540
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,337
Clearly he's deformed.
541
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,005
Probably the kindly old groundskeeper.
542
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,965
Yeah. Kindly old groundskeeper.
543
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,550
I was once young and handsome
544
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,052
and then a witch cast a spell on me.
545
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,303
Well, sorry.
546
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,429
So do you want Dean to kiss you?
547
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,014
He's a princess!
548
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:02,683
No! I want you to go home.
549
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:03,601
Okay. Where are we?
550
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,478
The magical land of Narnia.
551
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:06,896
I'll call you a cab.
552
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,023
And the telescope is really a laser.
553
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,441
Never seen it fired.
554
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,443
I did. I was like four, maybe five.
555
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,236
Super loud.
556
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,030
Probably the reason I have tinnitus.
557
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,406
Yeah, that was in one of the episodes
558
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,783
of the Rusty Venture show.
559
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,035
So you're a fan. Figured.
560
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,036
And here we are.
561
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,037
Alone.
562
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,080
What would the neighbors think?
563
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,248
The neighbors are Auntimatter,
564
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,334
who's a spinster that shape shifts,
565
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,795
and Flying Squid,
he's pretty self-explanatory.
566
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,922
So I don't think they'd find this weird.
567
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,383
I have a magic guy living in my house.
568
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,927
Oh, and my former arch enemy
is now my bodyguard.
569
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,179
So, looks like we made it.
570
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,890
Exactly what my parents wanted for me.
571
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,058
Guaranteed.
572
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:47,061
Yeah, my father would be proud.
573
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,354
So you haven't seen the boys?
574
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:51,315
No. Did you try calling them?
575
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,817
Aww!
576
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,902
Hatred, what an idiot.
577
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:58,406
No, he never-- World's worst bodyguard.
578
00:19:58,489 --> 00:19:59,740
What's up, Pop?
579
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:00,991
Where are you?
580
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:01,909
In bed.
581
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:03,536
Really? Where were you tonight?
582
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,079
We were in Gary's tree fort.
583
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,997
We took a cab home like an hour ago.
584
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,254
[KNOCKING]
585
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:15,005
What's the password?
586
00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:16,340
I forgot.
587
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:17,466
Oh, wait, I remember.
588
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,094
I'm the fucking Monarch! Let me in, now!
589
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,387
It's open.
590
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,097
What the hell are you doing?
591
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,099
It's the Chinese water torture.
592
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,059
It's not really torture.
593
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,145
It's like, uh, napping under
an air conditioner, kinda.
594
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,688
Whoa!
595
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:32,106
You know, I think the
water torture has given me
596
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:33,816
second sight, or something.
597
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,818
I can see your true, evil self.
598
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,194
It has been revealed.
599
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,237
Hardly.
600
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,197
It's an allergic reaction to a fancy salad.
601
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:41,157
Oh.
602
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,117
So, uh, why are you
not with Dr. Girlfriend?
603
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,036
She's taking her clothes
off for my interview.
604
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,663
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
605
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:48,789
Your wife naked?
606
00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:49,665
No!
607
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,292
I mean, she's pretty, but no, that's--
608
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,586
Yeah, phase out the Monarch
609
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,004
so you can take his place, huh?
610
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,589
- What?
- I'm onto you!
611
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,132
I know you had the Venture brothers here.
612
00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,300
Who told you that?
613
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:00,676
Nobody. I can smell them.
614
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,137
Hank wears more Stetson
cologne than a gigolo,
615
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,889
and Dean smells like Selsun Blue.
616
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,390
So, uh, what?
617
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,017
Are you torturing them without me?
618
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,685
Hardly. I blew it.
619
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,145
I tried to get them to confess to a murder
620
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:12,897
that I think I committed.
621
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,732
[SIGH]
I'm not you.
622
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:16,275
I don't have that natural hate.
623
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:17,401
You were born for this.
624
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,278
You don't know the half of it.
625
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:21,489
I hate everything. Seriously.
626
00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:23,199
I hate myself more than most villains
627
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,492
hate their arch enemies.
628
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,160
I'm all hate.
629
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,161
No, it's true.
630
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,831
And I am honored to
serve in your ranks, sir.
631
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,166
- Really?
- Totally.
632
00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:33,959
Oh, hey, you wanna hang out?
633
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:36,879
We can play cards, or watch
Josie and the Pussycats.
634
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,006
Slo-mo the Rosario Dawson scenes.
635
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:41,300
Like when 24 was still here.
636
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:42,885
Old times?
637
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:45,846
This is very touching,
so here's what I'll do.
638
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:48,057
Instead of having you
executed for suspected treason,
639
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,184
I'll leave you to play in your tree fort
640
00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:54,063
before I burn it down, okay?
641
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:55,940
See, total pro!
642
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:58,192
You are the mighty Monarch!
643
00:21:58,275 --> 00:22:01,695
Don't ever forget that.
644
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:34,186
Dude, guess who did a spread
645
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,813
for Modern Enemy Monthly?
646
00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:38,065
Ta-da!
647
00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:40,192
Dude, where are you?
648
00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:43,320
What are you doing over there?
649
00:22:43,370 --> 00:22:47,920
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