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1
00:00:06,890 --> 00:00:07,980
MONARCH:
Minions!
2
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,230
Reduce speed to impulse power!
3
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:11,730
Charge the lightning cannon!
4
00:00:11,860 --> 00:00:13,980
All battle stations at the ready!
5
00:00:14,110 --> 00:00:19,240
At my signal, we show this Dr. Venture
the true power of the cocoon!
6
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,870
JONAS: Well, team, it looks like I've got
myself a costumed arch enemy.
7
00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:27,450
Not quite sure what the flying
pine cone is all about,
8
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,710
but I'll give Mr. Evergreen
a run for his money!
9
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:30,960
? For he's a jolly good fellow ?
10
00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,920
No time for inappropriate
and baffling sing-song, Neddy!
11
00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:37,550
Venture team! Assemble Ventronic!
12
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,260
Ventronic Gold is go!
13
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:47,100
Ventronic Blue is go!
14
00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:50,640
Ventronic Red is go!
15
00:00:50,770 --> 00:00:53,310
Weee! Slide fun!
16
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:54,980
Nooo, no no!
17
00:00:55,110 --> 00:00:56,440
Neddy don't like!
18
00:00:56,538 --> 00:00:58,897
ALL:
Assemble Ventronic!
19
00:01:05,370 --> 00:01:06,660
JONAS:
Join me!
20
00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:08,323
I form the legs!
21
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,619
I form the right arm!
22
00:01:15,210 --> 00:01:16,340
I'm flying!
23
00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:18,300
Make a happy smile!
24
00:01:23,090 --> 00:01:25,640
ALL:
Go Ventronic!
25
00:01:28,730 --> 00:01:30,140
What the fuck is that thing?!
26
00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:32,640
Umm, I think it's a giant robot
27
00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:35,480
with an ice cream cone
for one of its arms... I think.
28
00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:36,940
Fire the lightning cannon!
29
00:01:37,070 --> 00:01:38,320
Aim for the head.
30
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,150
I want to be able to smell
the burning flesh
31
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,990
of that little Venture abomination!
32
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,370
The lightning cannon sucks!
33
00:01:48,490 --> 00:01:49,910
Who loaded it with robot food?
34
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,460
Evasive action. Hard astern.
35
00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:56,790
JONAS: Ventronic Blue,
use the energy blade!
36
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,050
CAPTAIN:
Aye, aye boss!
37
00:01:58,170 --> 00:01:59,170
[SCREAMING]
38
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,760
[UP-TEMPO MUSIC]
39
00:02:32,460 --> 00:02:33,620
The helm is not responding!
40
00:02:33,750 --> 00:02:35,000
DR. GIRLFRIEND:
All systems are down.
41
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,080
We're sitting ducks!
42
00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:39,380
Hail Venture on the big screen.
43
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,340
- Bringing him up--
- Wait!
44
00:02:41,460 --> 00:02:43,090
I wanna do something. Hold on.
45
00:02:43,220 --> 00:02:44,800
[BEEPING]
46
00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:48,600
You have one minute to surrender
your big robot thing!
47
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,180
If you refuse, we will open fire!
48
00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:52,430
How about this --
49
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,690
I'll give you 20 seconds
to kiss your wife for the last time,
50
00:02:55,810 --> 00:02:58,860
then I finish you off, Mr. Evergreen.
51
00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:00,900
I-I'm the Monarch.
52
00:03:01,030 --> 00:03:03,400
Oh, so the flying pine cone's a--
53
00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:05,900
Cocoon. Okay, I'll be right back.
54
00:03:06,030 --> 00:03:07,280
He didn't go for it.
55
00:03:07,410 --> 00:03:08,950
I even did that cool spin thing.
56
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,620
It's a bit of a clich�.
57
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:12,040
Okay, alright, I have another idea.
58
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,370
I'm trying to arch here!
59
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,120
This isn't how it's done! Honestly!
60
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:18,040
Wh-What are you doing, ya retard?!
61
00:03:18,170 --> 00:03:20,170
- No-no word!
- Yes it is, Neddy.
62
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,210
Did he just cut me off?
63
00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:24,510
Retard is a hateful word.
We don't use those slurs.
64
00:03:24,630 --> 00:03:25,920
I'm your arch enemy!
65
00:03:26,050 --> 00:03:29,140
I'm not gonna use "bungling boobs,"
or "meddling kids."
66
00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:30,470
It's not my style.
67
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,180
That guy needs to get a thicker skin.
68
00:03:32,310 --> 00:03:33,310
Thicker skin?
69
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:36,140
Poor Ned has skin
that's three inches thick.
70
00:03:36,270 --> 00:03:38,350
Now how do you think
that makes him feel?
71
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:39,810
Itchy? I don't know.
72
00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:42,400
Just keep it cat and mouse,
not cat and missile.
73
00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:45,070
So it's a game? We fake fight?
74
00:03:45,190 --> 00:03:46,150
That's ridiculous.
75
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,820
No, we sharpen our claws.
76
00:03:47,950 --> 00:03:49,490
It's like fencing.
77
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:50,990
It's about the art of the fight.
78
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:51,990
Good.
79
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,000
Well, I'm about to deliver
my killing stroke. Then what?
80
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,000
Then the Guild steps up their game.
81
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,420
You throw a rock, they throw a knife.
82
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:02,250
You throw a knife they come
to your house when you're sleeping
83
00:04:02,380 --> 00:04:03,710
and murder your family.
84
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,340
Look, Dr. Venture...
85
00:04:05,470 --> 00:04:06,760
I love saying that.
86
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,010
You call the Guild
and you get the damned rulebook.
87
00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:10,010
I'll be waiting.
88
00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:14,470
One false move and I will
destroy you... utterly! Off screen!
89
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,310
How'd that look?
Could they see the fire?
90
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:17,850
I don't think we're fooling anybody.
91
00:04:17,980 --> 00:04:20,480
We have to come up
with something soon or it is over.
92
00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:21,860
You didn't marry a fool!
93
00:04:21,980 --> 00:04:24,610
Believe me, no Venture
will take down the Monarch!
94
00:04:24,730 --> 00:04:27,320
Engineering,
restore impulse power!
95
00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:29,740
Henchmen 21 and 24,
front and center!
96
00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:34,240
- And henchman number one.
- And henchman number one.
97
00:04:34,370 --> 00:04:38,710
I want you three to execute
a Dark S-7 Maneuver.
98
00:04:38,830 --> 00:04:39,830
On the double.
99
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,460
Yes, Monarch.
100
00:04:42,590 --> 00:04:44,590
I gotta ask this --
101
00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:48,090
is there a reason
you always use 21 and 24?
102
00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:49,720
I know it sounds crazy,
103
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:53,430
but they both have that rare blend
of expendable and invulnerable
104
00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:55,850
that makes for a perfect henchman.
105
00:04:56,970 --> 00:04:57,890
HENCHMAN 21:
Alright, please tell me you know
106
00:04:58,020 --> 00:05:00,140
what the hell a Dark S-7 Maneuver is.
107
00:05:00,270 --> 00:05:01,400
I think it's when, uh--
108
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,860
The "dark" prefix indicates
that it's a stealth maneuver.
109
00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:05,070
The S-7 indicates that--
110
00:05:05,190 --> 00:05:06,610
Dude, who are you?
111
00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:08,490
24 and I work as a duo.
112
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:10,320
We've done all we can.
113
00:05:10,450 --> 00:05:12,490
I'm sorry your placement
isn't working out.
114
00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:14,570
But really, it's not our problem.
115
00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:18,410
The Guild of Calamitous Intent
is antagonist relations only.
116
00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:20,460
Well, who handles the good guys?
117
00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:21,540
Whoa!
118
00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:24,080
I think the less hurtful term
is "protagonists."
119
00:05:24,210 --> 00:05:25,090
Oh, yeah, sorry.
120
00:05:25,210 --> 00:05:27,250
Who handles the protagonists?
121
00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:30,510
What, are you serious?
O.S.I., duh!
122
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:31,930
Can you patch me through?
123
00:05:32,050 --> 00:05:33,010
Oh, sure.
124
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:35,510
Just let me get my red phone, the hotline.
125
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,760
No, I'll shine the O.S.I. signal.
126
00:05:37,890 --> 00:05:41,270
No, no, no-- If we really believe
and click our heels, they'll--
127
00:05:41,390 --> 00:05:43,560
Okay, okay! I get it.
128
00:05:44,190 --> 00:05:46,440
Newbie. Did you see his creepy little body?
129
00:05:46,570 --> 00:05:48,020
Oh, my God, when you were a kid,
130
00:05:48,150 --> 00:05:50,860
did you ever make G.I. Joe
hump Rainbow Brite?
131
00:05:50,990 --> 00:05:51,900
Yeah.
132
00:05:52,030 --> 00:05:53,700
He's what their kid would have looked like.
133
00:05:56,410 --> 00:05:58,120
They're retreating, follow them!
134
00:05:58,240 --> 00:05:59,290
Belay that order!
135
00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:01,250
Sweetie, what are you doing?
136
00:06:01,370 --> 00:06:02,290
I'm sorry.
137
00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:04,370
We barely have enough power
to stay afloat.
138
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,460
And we don't have
one weapon online.
139
00:06:06,590 --> 00:06:08,130
Do you trust me?
140
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:09,630
Uh...
141
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:10,760
Kind of.
142
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,050
Well, it's now or never.
143
00:06:12,180 --> 00:06:13,470
You have to trust me!
144
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,220
Follow them!
145
00:06:15,340 --> 00:06:16,930
Incoming from Venture.
146
00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:20,810
Perfect. Bring him up on the big screen!
147
00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:22,770
Monarch, you have been bested.
148
00:06:22,890 --> 00:06:23,980
Now cease this non--
149
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:25,980
Butterfly!
[LAUGHS]
150
00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:27,310
Pretty!
151
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,480
Thank you, Neddy. I'll handle this.
152
00:06:29,610 --> 00:06:32,400
Sorry, we like to let Ned
make his own decisions.
153
00:06:32,530 --> 00:06:35,780
Then I hope he decides to kiss
his leathery ass goodbye.
154
00:06:35,910 --> 00:06:38,240
You have played right into my trap
155
00:06:38,370 --> 00:06:40,660
and now you die!
156
00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:43,460
Fire the lightning cannon!
157
00:06:46,170 --> 00:06:49,460
Engineering, jettison the lightning cannon
out the port hatch!
158
00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:53,170
Navigation,
adjust attitude X and Y 20 degrees!
159
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:57,090
Dr. Girlfriend, cut all external power!
160
00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:03,850
What was that about?
161
00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:06,020
Some men are controlled
by their hatred.
162
00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:09,690
Clouds their senses and leads
them down the path of ruin.
163
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,230
Let that be a lesson to you.
164
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,490
I guess I shouldn't finish
that giant cocoon
165
00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:14,530
I was building, then.
166
00:07:14,650 --> 00:07:17,030
Okay! I was a pirate! I get it!
167
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,570
Look, if you can't get over my pirate past,
168
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,240
we'll never move forward.
169
00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:23,620
Boys, the Monarch is retreating.
170
00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,210
Now isn't the time for this.
171
00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:28,540
Agreed. Back to Spider Skull Island.
172
00:07:28,670 --> 00:07:30,210
We'll reformulate our methods there!
173
00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:32,500
Yes, let's ignore the pirate.
174
00:07:32,630 --> 00:07:33,840
He used to be bad.
175
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:37,220
JONAS:
Ventronic, take us home!
176
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:39,550
CAPTAIN:
I know you can hear me.
177
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:40,970
MONARCH:
Navigation!
178
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,520
Get this heap to the lair.
179
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:44,560
Get up.
180
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,350
We need to make some
modifications to the cocoon.
181
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,440
Yeah, are you gonna tell me
what the hell you have planned?
182
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,110
Why? You don't trust me?
183
00:07:51,230 --> 00:07:53,320
I mean, I'm trying to.
184
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,610
It's not that I don't--
You know, you--
185
00:07:55,740 --> 00:07:57,610
You...
186
00:07:57,740 --> 00:07:59,860
Just help me get
this chair loose.
187
00:07:59,990 --> 00:08:01,950
MAN [ON PHONE]:
O.S.I., can I help you?
188
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,080
Yes, this is Dr. Jonas Venture, Jr.
189
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,460
Can you connect me to the office
of Arch Relations, please?
190
00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:10,460
This is O.S.I. Dry Cleaning
and Laundromat.
191
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,340
I think you have
the wrong number.
192
00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:14,170
I'm quite sure I dialed it correctly.
193
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,170
I'm quite sure I'm ironing a shirt.
194
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,170
You have the wrong number
there, buddy.
195
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:20,800
Boss, there's somebody
knocking at the front door.
196
00:08:20,930 --> 00:08:22,430
Knock at the front door?
197
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:23,890
This is an isolated island.
198
00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:26,180
Who just drops by and knocks
at the front door?
199
00:08:26,310 --> 00:08:29,100
Didn't even know we had a front door.
200
00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:30,520
Jonas Venture, Jr.?
201
00:08:30,650 --> 00:08:32,770
Oh, sorry, matey,
you want the boss man.
202
00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:34,150
I'll-- Urgh.
203
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,610
Is there a reason you just darted my man?
204
00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:38,530
I didn't see you down there.
205
00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,320
- Jonas Venture, Jr.?
- I am.
206
00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:42,280
So who are the dead men
I'm speaking to?
207
00:08:42,410 --> 00:08:43,830
- That's a joke.
- Regular cut-up.
208
00:08:43,950 --> 00:08:45,410
They should give him
a reality show.
209
00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:47,120
- I'd watch it.
- I'd watch it twice.
210
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:48,290
Even if Flavor Flav was in it.
211
00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:49,620
My name is Mr. Doe
212
00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:51,750
and this is my associate,
Mr. Cardholder.
213
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,250
Sorry about putting
your man down.
214
00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:54,290
Precautionary.
215
00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:56,340
A harmless tranquilizer dart.
You understand.
216
00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:58,880
Judging from your shoot first
ask questions later tactics,
217
00:08:59,010 --> 00:09:00,630
I'll just assume you men
are with the O.S.I.?
218
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,340
O.S.I.? Never heard of it.
219
00:09:02,470 --> 00:09:04,970
Dr. Venture, you know that
the O.S.I. denies any knowledge
220
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,970
of the Guild of Calamitous Intent?
221
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:08,430
I never mentioned the Guild.
222
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:09,480
No, but I did.
223
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:10,640
We were just passing by
224
00:09:10,770 --> 00:09:12,650
and heard that you have
a butterfly problem.
225
00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:16,150
And you see, me and my associate here
are amateur lepidopterists.
226
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,490
You... wanna see my stamp collection?
227
00:09:19,610 --> 00:09:21,200
Only if we were philatelists.
228
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,200
Which we aren't, Mr. Smart guy.
229
00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:28,330
Oh, my head's gonna explode.
I can't hear squat.
230
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,500
You should perform
the Valsalva Maneuver.
231
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:33,500
Look, Mister
"I'm the Best Henchman Ever,"
232
00:09:33,630 --> 00:09:35,000
we'll get to business in a second.
233
00:09:35,130 --> 00:09:36,170
I'm trying to pop my ear.
234
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:37,840
The Valsalva Maneuver is
235
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,300
when you adjust the pressure
in your middle ear, silly.
236
00:09:40,420 --> 00:09:42,010
A swallow or a yawn should do the trick.
237
00:09:42,130 --> 00:09:43,220
That has a name?
238
00:09:43,340 --> 00:09:44,840
Listen, dude, don't get cozy with us.
239
00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:46,350
You're the guy who doesn't come back.
240
00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:48,100
Yes, some guy who just shows up
241
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:50,270
that nobody's ever seen before.
242
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,770
Right, and he's all professional.
243
00:09:51,890 --> 00:09:53,520
Yeah, dude, you're a goner.
244
00:09:53,650 --> 00:09:59,190
Let me tell you a story
about a little henchman named Speedy.
245
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,650
[GROANING]
246
00:10:02,780 --> 00:10:04,360
Oh! Argh!
247
00:10:04,490 --> 00:10:06,620
[GASPS]
Captain! You okay?
248
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:09,200
Man, get off my back... Mom!
249
00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:11,450
Sorry. You look like you needed help.
250
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:13,210
So I'm a disappointment, I guess.
251
00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:14,370
Help the pirate.
252
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:16,710
The pirate can't do anything for himself.
253
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,550
Why are you such a bitch?
Like you're perfect.
254
00:10:19,670 --> 00:10:21,170
What has gotten into you?
255
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:24,260
Sweet tranquilizer dart, that's what.
256
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:25,390
So get out!
257
00:10:25,510 --> 00:10:27,640
You're always trying
to bring me down.
258
00:10:29,010 --> 00:10:30,770
And bring me a fucking sandwich!
259
00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:34,190
- The Monarch has killed...
- As in cold blooded murdered.
260
00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:35,600
...his last five arch enemies.
261
00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:37,230
Now that sounds like a violation to me.
262
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,230
Sounds like a violation
to anyone with ears.
263
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,230
So what now?
264
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,240
I'm not sure
what the proper procedure is
265
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,610
for dealing with unhinged,
266
00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:46,280
and quite honestly,
incompetent arch enemies.
267
00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:47,410
We are recommending
268
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:49,740
that you pin this butterfly
to a piece of cardboard.
269
00:10:49,870 --> 00:10:51,410
As in cold-blooded murder.
270
00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:55,000
To assist us in this matter we took
the liberty of inviting an exterminator.
271
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,920
A specialist in your
specific bug problem.
272
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,590
Little man has friend waiting to play.
273
00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:02,210
[LAUGHS]
Tickles.
274
00:11:02,340 --> 00:11:04,420
That's quite a monster you got.
He have a leash?
275
00:11:04,550 --> 00:11:06,510
I bet his eyes are
as gooey as the next guy's.
276
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,760
Funny hat!
277
00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:09,050
Ned wants funny hat!
278
00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:11,100
Lower it, Cardholder. The ape's daffy.
279
00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:13,310
Head full of pudding.
280
00:11:13,430 --> 00:11:14,350
Friend!
281
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,600
Looks like our exterminator
has arrived.
282
00:11:16,730 --> 00:11:18,560
Hey! Hey, hey!
283
00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:20,480
I'm not supposed to be in here!
284
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:24,280
[MOANS]
285
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,400
[THUD]
286
00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:30,660
I see, so you just want
to kill the Monarch.
287
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,160
That seems like
the sporting thing to do.
288
00:11:33,290 --> 00:11:36,160
You wanna what, shoot him?
And all his men and his wife?
289
00:11:36,290 --> 00:11:38,120
You could steal his cattle, too.
290
00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:40,210
Maybe burn his village down?
291
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:41,920
It's an antiquated system.
292
00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:45,840
I mean, my father did this
fake arch enemy nonsense in the '60s.
293
00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:48,180
Maybe my brother is good
with this namby-pamby
294
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:51,180
guy-in-a-costume-chases-you-around
nonsense, but I'm not.
295
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:54,600
No disrespect, Jonas,
but it isn't so easy.
296
00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:57,850
These guys like their system.
It's what they do.
297
00:11:57,980 --> 00:11:58,980
You take that away
298
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:01,730
and you are looking at a bunch
of pissed off nut bags
299
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:04,530
with ray guns and giant-- I don't know,
300
00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:08,280
a giant octopus slash tank
with laser eyes.
301
00:12:08,410 --> 00:12:09,360
I've seen one of those.
302
00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:10,870
I like the cut of this guy's jib.
303
00:12:10,990 --> 00:12:11,990
I like the cut of his hair.
304
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,160
All right, fine.
305
00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:15,160
Then what if we keep it traditional?
306
00:12:15,290 --> 00:12:18,120
This Monarch character has
broken some rules.
307
00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:19,870
If by "rules," you mean skulls.
308
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,290
And if by "broken," you mean pulverized.
309
00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:23,840
So we put on a big show.
310
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,460
We do it like
dear old Daddy Venture would've.
311
00:12:26,590 --> 00:12:27,800
Then everybody's happy.
312
00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:29,130
Everybody but the Monarch.
313
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:31,140
What do you have in mind?
314
00:12:32,930 --> 00:12:34,140
I'm gonna fall off it.
315
00:12:34,270 --> 00:12:36,980
Just use nails for now, or glue.
I don't care.
316
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,980
- All right, here it is.
- Give me the news!
317
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,900
If Protagonist aggression
exceeds Level 8--
318
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:43,860
I think trying to actually
kill me is at least that.
319
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:46,900
The Antagonist, in the case
of survival or escape
320
00:12:47,030 --> 00:12:48,780
is granted extended vengeance.
321
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:52,620
This includes Guild sanctioned
immediate relatives.
322
00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:55,410
So, all I gotta do is stay alive
323
00:12:55,540 --> 00:12:57,290
and Rusty Venture is mine?
324
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,540
That's what it says.
325
00:12:58,660 --> 00:13:00,830
Dr. Venture is a Guild
sanctioned rel-- Whoa!
326
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,460
Finally! Vengeance is mine!
327
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,420
Which one of you idiots
broke my wife?
328
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:21,690
What are you guys doing?
329
00:13:21,810 --> 00:13:23,730
I'm freezing. Can we be done, please?
330
00:13:23,860 --> 00:13:25,610
Yeah, I swallowed
too much water.
331
00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:28,190
Now I'm gonna get diarrhea,
thank you very much.
332
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,400
That tunnel down there leads
to the main room.
333
00:13:30,530 --> 00:13:32,410
Take a deep breath.
I'm not sure how long it is.
334
00:13:32,530 --> 00:13:36,450
No way! I got freaked out
when I had to do that playing Tomb Raider.
335
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:38,950
Oh, and she did that creepy
drowning, contortion thing.
336
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,040
That was grizzly.
Yeah, no way.
337
00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:42,290
What? We have to.
338
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,040
This is how we get to the main room
339
00:13:44,170 --> 00:13:46,130
to complete the Dark S-7 Maneuver.
340
00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:48,760
Okay, fine, I'll go ahead alone.
341
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,050
Going alone?
342
00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:53,840
This is why you new guys always die.
343
00:13:53,970 --> 00:13:55,930
You just can't smell
a clich� coming.
344
00:13:56,060 --> 00:13:57,930
Dude, you are way too into this.
345
00:13:58,060 --> 00:13:59,680
Seriously, what kind of douche
346
00:13:59,810 --> 00:14:01,770
would blindly swim
an underwater tunnel?
347
00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:02,850
Then what--
348
00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:04,560
Yeah, what about going that way?
349
00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:05,900
It's hardly the best route.
350
00:14:06,020 --> 00:14:08,152
Hands up, who peed in the water?
351
00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:12,240
Well, I guess we could go that way.
352
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:13,740
JONAS:
Check it out, gentlemen.
353
00:14:13,860 --> 00:14:17,580
Constructed by a little old
villain named Scaramantula
354
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:19,990
and only used on Sundays
to go to church.
355
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,080
Been dying to give it a spin.
356
00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:23,410
Aww, no fucking way.
357
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:25,380
Late '60s Ultra Death Ray!
358
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:26,750
She's amazing.
359
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,420
Saddle operated
with Doom Co. Gearing.
360
00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:31,260
Freaking gorgeous.
361
00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:32,920
If that were a woman, I'd marry her.
362
00:14:33,050 --> 00:14:35,470
And I'd jeopardize our friendship
by nailing your hot wife.
363
00:14:35,590 --> 00:14:37,100
Gyroscopic positioning?
364
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:38,970
At six points.
365
00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:42,520
And get this, it comes up
out of the top of the Skull.
366
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,940
That's how it's done.
367
00:14:44,060 --> 00:14:46,310
HENCHMAN 24:
I didn't know there was a museum
368
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,020
to Dr. Venture on this island.
369
00:14:48,150 --> 00:14:49,480
This is awesome!
370
00:14:49,610 --> 00:14:51,940
You think there are rides,
or, like, a moonwalk?
371
00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:54,240
One of you have an extra electro patch?
372
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,280
No, we don't wear our utility belts.
373
00:14:56,410 --> 00:14:57,320
Yeah, they're dorky.
374
00:14:57,450 --> 00:14:59,120
Kinda like fanny packs for henchmen.
375
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,830
Plus they make me look fat.
376
00:15:00,950 --> 00:15:02,500
Blame it on the utility belt.
377
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:04,290
And you guys think I'm gonna die.
378
00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:06,580
I carry my full complement of utilities.
379
00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:09,290
He says as he electrocutes himself.
380
00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:10,960
I'm not gonna die! Stop it!
381
00:15:11,090 --> 00:15:13,510
He grabs a bomb on accident right here.
382
00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:14,670
Kaboom!
383
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,970
I'm not gonna die.
384
00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:19,640
Yeah, and then the snake jumps out
and bites you right on your eye.
385
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:20,850
Stop it!
386
00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:22,970
Okay, done. Easy peasy.
387
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:25,310
So now you know what
the Dark S-7 Maneuver is.
388
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,100
We do?
389
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,310
I'm getting good at rebuilding this thing.
390
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:31,440
It looks like it should.
391
00:15:31,570 --> 00:15:34,190
No, it looks pretty good
if you don't turn your head.
392
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,650
Monarch, the S-7 Maneuver is complete!
393
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:38,910
It was? Those idiots are amazing.
394
00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:41,620
All right. Engage the Capricorn Device!
395
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:44,500
Then bring the wee Venture freak
up on the...
396
00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:47,620
little screen we just wheeled
in front of my throne.
397
00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:48,830
Hailing him now.
398
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,250
[BEEPING]
399
00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:52,170
Thought you got rid of me?
400
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:56,340
On the contrary, my dear Monarch,
I was hoping to hear from you.
401
00:15:56,470 --> 00:15:58,510
And were you hoping that I was racing
402
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,260
my newly revamped flying cocoon
toward your island?
403
00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:03,430
[LAUGHS]
404
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,810
He's about 20 miles offshore.
405
00:16:06,940 --> 00:16:08,100
He is really humming.
406
00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:10,190
I didn't even know that thing
could move like that.
407
00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:12,480
Goodbye, Dr. Venture.
408
00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:16,780
You might want to make a list
of questions for your father.
409
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:19,860
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
410
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,200
- Did you get that?
- It was kinda vague.
411
00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:25,500
Well, his father's dead.
412
00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:29,210
So, you know, he can ask him stuff
because he'll be joining him in Hell.
413
00:16:29,330 --> 00:16:32,090
Ah! I should have said the "Hell" part.
That would have been cool.
414
00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:33,750
Yeah, that would have been
the way to go.
415
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,760
That, and then the menacing laugh.
416
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,930
So the butterfly falls willingly
into the Spider Skull's web.
417
00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:41,890
- Mmmm, nope.
- Just a bit confusing.
418
00:16:42,010 --> 00:16:43,640
Good try though.
419
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,390
It's my first shot at it.
420
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,680
You know, I'm starting to see
the allure of all this.
421
00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:49,560
So, I guess you wanna
shoot it yourself?
422
00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:50,600
Of course!
423
00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:52,730
Well, do you have any
Death Ray experience?
424
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:54,270
I mean, those things can kick.
425
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,320
Is the great Brock Samson jealous
426
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,400
of my super sweet Death Ray?
427
00:16:58,530 --> 00:17:00,150
- Kinda.
- Tough tiddlywinks!
428
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,490
Fire her up!
429
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:08,660
This floor is laser trip-wired.
430
00:17:08,790 --> 00:17:10,160
We have to find an alternate route.
431
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,830
Yeah, maybe over a shark tank
or something.
432
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,590
Yeah, you go off and meet your Maker
while 24 and I keep going this way.
433
00:17:16,710 --> 00:17:19,300
Knock it off, you guys.
It's starting to get to me.
434
00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:20,590
You still don't get it.
435
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,010
24 and I have been on, like,
1,000 missions.
436
00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:25,470
We've been shot at, dipped in acid.
437
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,890
Brock Samson hit me with a car.
438
00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:29,930
Drove right into my kidney. Here I am.
439
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:32,730
Yeah, we could walk across this floor
and nothing would hit us.
440
00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:35,900
But then this huge log would swing down
and take your head off.
441
00:17:36,020 --> 00:17:37,110
Here... what's your name?
442
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:39,530
- Henchman Number One.
- See, you are nameless.
443
00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:42,950
I'm Scott Hall.
My name is Scott Hall, okay?
444
00:17:43,070 --> 00:17:44,620
Nope. Won't help.
445
00:17:44,740 --> 00:17:46,080
Yeah, now it's just pathos.
446
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,740
When you're dying in my lap, and I'm all,
447
00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:51,370
"Scott, Scott! Don't you quit on us!
Don't you dare!"
448
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:55,080
You just made your
unavoidable death more pathetic.
449
00:17:55,210 --> 00:17:58,420
Fuck it.
Nothing's gonna happen to me.
450
00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:00,800
HENCHMAN 24:
Well?
451
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,430
- [ALARM BLARES]
- HENCHMAN 1: Oh, come on!
452
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:09,350
BROCK:
Six miles and closing fast!
453
00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:12,270
Trajectory target at X-15, Y-23!
454
00:18:12,390 --> 00:18:14,560
Blind fire available at two miles!
455
00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:15,980
Re-targeting!
456
00:18:16,110 --> 00:18:17,020
[ALARM BLARES]
457
00:18:17,150 --> 00:18:20,230
I have an intruder alert,
museum floor!
458
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,900
Who puts a museum
on a hidden island fortress?
459
00:18:23,030 --> 00:18:25,740
Jonas, there's an intruder
in the museum!
460
00:18:25,870 --> 00:18:28,240
What?
Zapruder films in the museum?
461
00:18:28,370 --> 00:18:31,830
No! There's someone in the museum.
462
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,120
Can't be. We're closed on the weekends!
463
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:37,460
I'll check it out unless you feel like
letting me shoot that thing.
464
00:18:37,590 --> 00:18:39,460
No chance, Samson.
465
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:56,150
I've always wanted to try this
but the opportunity never comes up!
466
00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:59,360
Poor guy missed out on, like
the greatest clich� in deception.
467
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,070
But getting killed by Brock,
468
00:19:01,190 --> 00:19:03,030
that's a glorious way
for a henchman to go.
469
00:19:03,150 --> 00:19:04,570
You guys are henchmen, aye?
470
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,070
Aah! Jeez, you're real!
471
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:07,450
I used to be.
472
00:19:07,570 --> 00:19:10,580
Say, you gents don't carry
dart guns, do ya?
473
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:12,540
Yeah... tranquilizers. Gonna rat us out?
474
00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:14,710
Not if you give me a hit of dart.
475
00:19:14,830 --> 00:19:17,290
You wanna be shot
with a tranquilizer dart?
476
00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:19,210
I have the dart monkey
on me back.
477
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:20,250
Just one, man.
478
00:19:20,380 --> 00:19:22,130
After this one, I'm going straight.
479
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:25,220
I just need that one last dart.
480
00:19:25,340 --> 00:19:26,720
Just one more.
481
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,800
Okay, but dude,
you know this is creepy.
482
00:19:29,930 --> 00:19:32,850
Right in the neck,
if you don't mind.
483
00:19:33,850 --> 00:19:36,520
[GRUNTS]
Yes!
484
00:19:36,650 --> 00:19:39,360
It's like getting sucked off
by an angel,
485
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,440
a sweet angel
with a tranquilizer.
486
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,490
MONARCH:
Steady...
487
00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:52,660
Steady...
488
00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:54,410
Get ready to light that thing!
489
00:19:56,620 --> 00:19:58,500
He's almost on you!
490
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,850
BOTH:
Now!
491
00:20:49,590 --> 00:20:51,930
HENCHMAN 21:
So, I guess we're retired again.
492
00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:54,720
Oh, and I have to move
back in with my dad.
493
00:20:54,850 --> 00:20:56,470
It's so humiliating.
494
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:57,520
[BEEPING]
495
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,810
Hello?
496
00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:01,230
MONARCH:
21 and 24, prepare for pickup
497
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,940
at drop point Alpha-7.
498
00:21:03,070 --> 00:21:03,980
Monarch...
Monarch?
499
00:21:04,110 --> 00:21:05,320
We thought you died!
500
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,110
What? That midget shot
his cannon into a cloud.
501
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,200
How do you not know that?
502
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,820
You dinks are the ones who installed
503
00:21:10,950 --> 00:21:12,200
the video surveillance patch.
504
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,160
We did? Oh.
505
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,370
That's what the Dark S-7 Maneuver is?
506
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:20,330
[SIGHS]
I hate that you're my best men. Honestly.
507
00:21:20,460 --> 00:21:22,880
Hey, what happened
to Henchman One?
508
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,710
Death by Samson.
509
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,170
Perfect! We shall avenge his death!
510
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:30,260
We raid the Venture compound at dawn!
511
00:21:30,380 --> 00:21:32,090
Sweet! Over and out.
512
00:21:32,220 --> 00:21:35,100
- So we saved the day?
- I think so.
513
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:38,506
Ah, dude, tell me you know
where drop point Alpha-7 is?
514
00:21:38,556 --> 00:21:43,106
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