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1
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All right, come on.
2
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,500
Come--
3
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,710
Damn it, White! How many times
do I have to tell you about refilling the roll?
4
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:09,960
Huh?
5
00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:13,550
I can-- Am I too short? I can't reach it.
6
00:00:14,220 --> 00:00:15,300
Oh, god!
7
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,440
And welcome...
8
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,150
You are not...
9
00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:29,610
superhuman.
10
00:00:31,690 --> 00:00:33,990
Whi--
White, White, White!
11
00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:35,400
White, get in here!
12
00:00:35,530 --> 00:00:37,450
Billy, I don't care how big it is...
13
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:39,490
I don't want to see
what you made in there.
14
00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:40,990
White, I just remembered something.
15
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,000
- What?
- Everything.
16
00:00:43,660 --> 00:00:45,910
It all came flooding back to me
like a tidal wave...
17
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,580
things that happened years ago.
18
00:00:47,710 --> 00:00:50,840
I fell off the toilet, and suddenly
my hand started doing this weird st--
19
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:51,960
Wait a minute.
20
00:00:52,090 --> 00:00:53,340
You! You were there, too!
21
00:00:57,260 --> 00:00:59,510
Hello, Goldilocks?
This is Casper.
22
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,600
Little Nemo has fallen out of bed.
23
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:10,074
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24
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:39,220
Hello, and welcome to "Quizboys"!
25
00:01:41,390 --> 00:01:43,350
I'm your host, the ever-popular Pete White.
26
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,640
Let's jump right in and meet
today's contestants, shall we?
27
00:01:46,770 --> 00:01:51,310
He's our reigning champion, who's won
over $40,000 in cash and prizes so far.
28
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,980
- Say hello to Master Billy Whalen.
- Hi, Mr. White.
29
00:01:55,110 --> 00:01:57,320
So, what are you gonna
do with all that money, Billy?
30
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,990
Well, I'm hoping
to save it for college tuition.
31
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,740
Any idea where you want to go yet?
32
00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:03,870
Yes, sir!
M.I.T.
33
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:06,700
I'm gonna be a superscientist
when I grow up...
34
00:02:06,830 --> 00:02:09,160
just like my hero,
Rusty Venture.
35
00:02:09,290 --> 00:02:10,750
Well, that's quite...
36
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:11,790
Barkeep!
37
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,500
Another Suffering Bastard.
Whoa!
38
00:02:14,630 --> 00:02:17,170
Yello?
39
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:18,510
There you are.
40
00:02:18,630 --> 00:02:19,840
How could you just leave like that...
41
00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:21,510
without telling me where
you were going?
42
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,800
Look, you're not my mother.
You're my bodyguard.
43
00:02:23,930 --> 00:02:26,220
How can I guard your body
if I can't be close to your body?
44
00:02:26,350 --> 00:02:31,190
Good god.
Barkeep, where's that Suffering Bastard?!
45
00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:34,150
- I'm looking at him.
- Oh, ha ha ha.
46
00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:37,440
OK, contestants, pens down.
Time's up.
47
00:02:37,570 --> 00:02:42,320
The question was, "Who was
the last king of the Plantagenet dynasty?"
48
00:02:42,450 --> 00:02:43,990
Todd, your answer.
49
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,200
Richard III.
50
00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:47,540
That's correct.
51
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:49,960
OK, Billy, you get this answer right...
52
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:54,170
you'll remain "Quizboys"
champion and return next week.
53
00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:56,040
For all the marbles...
54
00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:58,130
what's your answer?
55
00:02:58,260 --> 00:02:59,300
That's right!
56
00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:00,720
You win!
You're still...
57
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,300
Hey, he cheated!
That's not what he wrote!
58
00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:05,640
Now, Todd, let's not be a sore loser.
59
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,890
I'm not!
That isn't what he wrote!
60
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:10,730
He's a cheater!
Cheater!
61
00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:12,730
Cheater!
62
00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:15,560
Cheater.
Todd's the little cheater, I'll tell you that.
63
00:03:15,690 --> 00:03:18,940
How's he gonna know what you wrote
if he wasn't peeking at your answers?
64
00:03:19,070 --> 00:03:22,150
I'm done!
My life is over!
65
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,780
I'll never quiz again!
66
00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:24,990
Forget M.I.T. now.
67
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,950
Aah!
I never asked for the answers.
68
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,330
I didn't want to cheat.
You did this to me.
69
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:34,040
Hey, hey. Let's not make me out
to be the bad guy here, huh?
70
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:36,630
- Us freaks have to stick together.
- Us freaks?
71
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,710
Yeah, like, fun.
A handsome TV guy like you...
72
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,840
you'll probably end up
with a talk show out of this.
73
00:03:41,970 --> 00:03:43,880
No, Billy.
You see...
74
00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:46,220
I'm a freak, too.
75
00:03:48,390 --> 00:03:51,310
Well, some of us can't make
our heads smaller with makeup, OK?
76
00:03:51,430 --> 00:03:54,140
Look, you said Rusty Venture
was your hero, right?
77
00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:55,270
And how?
78
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,020
Well, I happen to be
very good friends with him.
79
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:03,320
I am, and he told me that he's about
to start a huge new project.
80
00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:08,490
And he needs a new head scientist
and a new lab assistant.
81
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:09,990
But-- but-- but
what about my schooling?
82
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,250
Experience is the best
teacher, Billy.
83
00:04:12,370 --> 00:04:14,830
This is better than going
to 1 0 M.I.T.s.
84
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,380
The invisible hand of fate has
pushed us to this point, Billy.
85
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:22,510
Our destiny lies with Dr. Rusty Venture.
86
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:26,300
- You think he would have me?
- I told you I got an in.
87
00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:29,430
We just need to get out to his lab,
and I'll take care of the rest.
88
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,060
Now, you got all that prize
money, right?
89
00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:33,810
No, I don't.
The F.C.C. froze my assets.
90
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,440
Yeah, and I pissed away
most of my savings on blow...
91
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,150
but I've got a brand-new set of wheels,
and I think I just might know...
92
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,030
how we can earn
some gas money along the way.
93
00:04:46,450 --> 00:04:49,450
? O.S.I. ?
94
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:50,830
? ...little guy ?
95
00:04:50,950 --> 00:04:53,500
? O.S.I. ?
96
00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:56,080
? We'll tear a new hole in the sky ?
97
00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:58,210
? When it's time to start the war ?
98
00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:00,630
? You'll hear our mighty engines roar ?
99
00:05:00,750 --> 00:05:03,010
? A superarmy of superspies ?
100
00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:06,220
? Look out, kids
Look out, guy ?
101
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,840
? O.S.I. ?
102
00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:10,850
? ...we'll make the children cry ?
103
00:05:10,970 --> 00:05:13,850
? O.S.I. ?
104
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,930
? Here we come,
look up in the sky ?
105
00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:18,440
? O.S.I. ?
106
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:22,400
? Mass destruction, bombs away ?
107
00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:29,200
Well, well, well, well, well.
108
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,370
If it isn't Mr. McGee and
his little friend the Hulk.
109
00:05:32,490 --> 00:05:36,580
Didn't notice you ladies
out there in the battlefield, as usual.
110
00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:39,880
That's because we're doing
real spy work, Shore Leave.
111
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,540
Oh, that's right, I forgot.
112
00:05:41,670 --> 00:05:45,760
You're too busy chasing some
phantom costume terrorist organization...
113
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,880
to help us fight
the real enemies of freedom--
114
00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:48,880
Sphinx.
115
00:05:49,010 --> 00:05:50,390
Yo S.I.!
116
00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:53,640
We'll prove the Guild is still around,
and we'll take them down without you.
117
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,220
- Just you wait!
- I won't hold my breath.
118
00:05:56,350 --> 00:05:58,520
Let's hit the showers, fellas!
Whoo!
119
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,730
Yo S.I.! Yo S.I.! Yo S.I.!
120
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:03,900
Oh, Hunter,
Wayland Flowers called.
121
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,400
He wants his madame back.
Boom!
122
00:06:06,530 --> 00:06:08,240
Oh, yeah?
Well, the Village People called...
123
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,910
and they want you to go fucking
kill yourselves, you pansy bastards!
124
00:06:12,030 --> 00:06:15,040
Place has gone to hell in a ham sandwich
since they eighty-sixed the dress code.
125
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,910
Those fellas razzing you?
126
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,000
You want me to say something to them?
127
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,920
- No, we got it covered, Red.
- Ha ha.
128
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,630
Adi�s, muchachos.
129
00:06:23,210 --> 00:06:25,550
Oh, you hear they're
gonna ban smoking in here soon?
130
00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:26,960
Hmm, let the swines try it.
131
00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:30,630
Colonel Gathers, this just came in
over the telex for you guys.
132
00:06:32,140 --> 00:06:33,760
We got one.
133
00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:37,310
I've only heard about these.
I didn't know they were real.
134
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,480
Oh, this is as real as it gets, Billy.
135
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,270
No lightning rounds, no bonus
questions, no mercy.
136
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:44,940
You're going down, Whalen.
137
00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:48,240
Don't even think about pulling
any of that cheating crap in here.
138
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,360
Yeah. Yeah, you know what they do
if they catch you cheating, don't you?
139
00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:52,780
They take one of your hands--
140
00:06:52,910 --> 00:06:55,660
your buzzer hand.
141
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,240
W-White-- White,
I can't do this.
142
00:06:57,370 --> 00:06:58,700
Oh, yes, you can, fella.
143
00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:03,500
I've seen a lot of quiz boys come and go,
and you are by far the best I've ever seen.
144
00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:08,050
You were put on this Earth
for one purpose, Billy, to quiz.
145
00:07:08,170 --> 00:07:11,300
Now, I robbed you of that
purpose once, and I'm sorry.
146
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:13,090
Will you let me make it up to you?
147
00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:16,300
Stage moms,
clear the arena.
148
00:07:16,430 --> 00:07:20,980
Ladies and gentlemen,
quiz boys and girls...
149
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:24,980
Welcome to the quiz doom.
150
00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:27,940
"Jeopardy!" rules apply--
answers in the form of a question.
151
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:30,900
You have five seconds after buzzing.
Winner take all.
152
00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:33,200
And first question:
153
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,990
in 121 5...
154
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,700
Billy Whalen.
155
00:07:36,830 --> 00:07:39,870
- What is the Magna Carta?
- Correct!
156
00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:58,390
Cows on my side.
That's 6-2, me.
157
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:00,770
Monster!
I'll catch you yet.
158
00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:02,520
Show yourselves, you cowards!
159
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:06,230
This is a farm belt.
Let's see some action on this side!
160
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,860
- Cows on my side.
- Unconscionable bastards.
161
00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:13,400
Oh! Oh! Cemetery!
You lose all your cows.
162
00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:17,820
Damn it, this side's cursed.
Your turn to drive, you lurid golem.
163
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:22,330
This is it, Billy.
Our new life is calling.
164
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:26,790
Mr. White, how can I ever begin to repay
you for-- what-- what's going on?
165
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,880
...touch me, don't touch me,
don't touch me!
166
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,510
Ya-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na!
167
00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:38,350
Aah!
168
00:08:40,260 --> 00:08:42,810
It's OK, H.E.L.P.eR.
She's gone now.
169
00:08:42,930 --> 00:08:45,940
- What's goin' on, Rust?
- What the hell are you doing here?
170
00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:47,480
"All staffed up.
171
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,520
"Try back in a few months.
172
00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:51,270
"Never much good at science any--"
173
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,860
Who does he think he is?
174
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:55,820
My life is over.
I have no prospects.
175
00:08:55,950 --> 00:08:58,370
And my boyhood hero
is a total dick.
176
00:08:58,490 --> 00:09:00,410
All right, just don't you worry, fella.
177
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,240
The pink pilgrim's gotten you this far.
178
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:04,540
I'm not gonna leave you hanging
when the chips are down.
179
00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:08,120
In fact, I've already lined up another quiz.
180
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,380
This doesn't look
like the usual quiz crowd.
181
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,340
Yeah, well, I guess
we're close to the border...
182
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:16,220
but the game's still the same.
183
00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:18,510
You get in there and work
the old magic, huh?
184
00:09:19,050 --> 00:09:22,220
Listos, a pelear!
185
00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:24,850
Aah!
186
00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:28,100
I didn't know, Billy, I swear.
187
00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:30,060
I'm finished with this, finished.
188
00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:32,440
Just give me my 40% and let me off.
189
00:09:32,570 --> 00:09:34,610
Uh, there is no money.
190
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:38,780
I-I bet our whole wad, and, well,
let's be honest here, Billy, you did lose.
191
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:42,200
I was disqualified
because you jumped in the ring.
192
00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:43,580
To get your hand.
193
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:47,410
Stop the moped.
Stop this thing right now.
194
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:51,460
Billy, there's coyotes out here.
You want to lose your other hand?
195
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:55,130
It would be safer than spending
one more minute with you.
196
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:58,550
You brought me nothing but
trouble since I met you.
197
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:02,010
I never want to see you again.
198
00:10:03,930 --> 00:10:08,060
Oh, by the way,
I talked to the other quiz boys.
199
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,770
Managers get 1 5%!
200
00:10:16,530 --> 00:10:19,240
Son, you look like you could
use a hand.
201
00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:23,070
Yello?
202
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,660
Rust, it's White.
Let me in, I--
203
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,870
Venture residence.
204
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:27,950
Hey, Rust, let me in.
205
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,000
I need to see Bro--
206
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,250
Whom shall I say is calling?
207
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,170
Come on, Rust, don't be a dick.
208
00:10:38,130 --> 00:10:40,680
Please do not be alarmed.
209
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,680
We are about to engage...
210
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,930
the nozzle.
211
00:10:46,770 --> 00:10:50,480
Please do not move while
the nozzle is engaging.
212
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,230
Moving will disrupt calibration of...
213
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,150
the nozzle.
214
00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:59,030
Please wait while we calibrate...
215
00:10:59,150 --> 00:11:00,820
the nozzle.
216
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,200
Please do not look away from...
217
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,160
the nozzle.
218
00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:12,000
The nozzle is now calibrating.
219
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,580
The nozzle is still calibrating.
220
00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:18,960
The nozzle has completed calibration.
221
00:11:19,090 --> 00:11:20,220
Thank you.
222
00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:22,510
There's our pink-cheeked
junior G-man.
223
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,640
What was that thing?
224
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,470
I have no idea.
Standard, uh...
225
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,100
How do you like your new body buddies?
226
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:32,980
Amazing. You-- you totally fixed
everything, but I-I'm still a little confused.
227
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:34,400
I mean, why me?
228
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,810
You fit the profile.
229
00:11:35,940 --> 00:11:37,570
Deformed, disgraced.
230
00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:40,530
An extra-intelligent superfreak
shunned by an unforgiving world.
231
00:11:40,650 --> 00:11:43,070
Yeah, that sounds like a profile
for, like, suicide.
232
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,410
Or an international supervillain.
233
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,910
We've been investigating
a university professor...
234
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,910
we believe is secretly a major recruiter...
235
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,910
for a global underground
crime syndicate.
236
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,580
Drumroll.
The Guild of Calamitous Intent.
237
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,050
From the old Rusty Venture TV show?
238
00:11:59,170 --> 00:12:01,090
You see? You see?!
239
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,300
Well, that's just a dramatiz-iz-iza--
240
00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:04,550
Dramatization.
241
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:08,470
Yeah, the real Guild is still out there
operating in secret-- we think.
242
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,270
And this professor is the key.
243
00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:12,930
Check out his cuff links.
244
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:16,600
So-- so, you, what, you want me
to assassinate this guy or something?
245
00:12:16,730 --> 00:12:18,980
No. We want you to ace his class.
246
00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:20,440
Congratulations, lad.
247
00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:23,280
You're now a fully matriculated
student of State University.
248
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,030
Oh. I-I kind
of wanted to go to M.I.T.
249
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,700
And I wanted to be born
with big, beautiful tits!
250
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:33,040
Make some lemonade with this, will ya?
251
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,580
Ah, young Mr. Whalen.
252
00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:37,750
Do find a seat quickly, Quizboy.
253
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,130
I was starting to teach your
more punctual peers.
254
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:44,130
Sorry, Professor Fantomos.
I had trouble finding the building.
255
00:12:44,260 --> 00:12:48,090
Yes, yes.
It's a great big, new world for you.
256
00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:50,930
And, Mr. Quizboy, I heard you
were recently exonerated...
257
00:12:51,060 --> 00:12:52,970
but allow me to impress one
thing upon you--
258
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:56,480
we do not tolerate
cheating at State University.
259
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,020
The punishment is severe.
260
00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:01,360
Professor Fantomos,
you're needed in the office.
261
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,780
Ah, well, if you'll excuse me, class.
262
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:06,200
Stevie, would you please take
over the lecture for me?
263
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,200
Kessler's, chapter four.
264
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:11,080
And, students, I expect those
papers on my desk...
265
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,790
at the start of the next class.
266
00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:17,000
OK, guys, uh, page 72.
267
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,130
Um, we're learning...
268
00:13:21,130 --> 00:13:26,970
? Suddenly,
I'm not so different ?
269
00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:33,850
? Suddenly,
I'm not so all alone ?
270
00:13:33,970 --> 00:13:36,480
? Suddenly, I'm-- ?
271
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:46,820
Hmm, wonder if it's the same Stevie.
272
00:13:48,530 --> 00:13:49,530
Oh! Ge--
273
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,240
Get ahold of yourself
and stop hyperventilating!
274
00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:54,870
This is a small car god damn it.
275
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,410
Just keep your cool
and don't blow the mission.
276
00:13:57,540 --> 00:13:59,120
We're getting excellent intel out of you.
277
00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:01,250
What intel?
I've-- I've been here for a day.
278
00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:02,630
I haven't done any spying yet.
279
00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:04,590
Sure, you have.
That new eye of yours--
280
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:07,420
actually a 3-D laser matrix
holographic camera.
281
00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:09,550
And this little pud puller
stores all the data.
282
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:10,890
What?
You guys wired me?
283
00:14:11,010 --> 00:14:14,060
Are you kidding?
You're a walking wire, and right now...
284
00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:16,720
you need to walk back in there
and do your god-given duty.
285
00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:19,230
There are no free hands
in this business, son.
286
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,900
Ehm--
I'm sorry, Sheila...
287
00:14:24,020 --> 00:14:27,240
but if I extend the deadline
for one student...
288
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,650
I'd have to extend it
for all of them.
289
00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:32,820
Well, thank you, anyway,
Professor Fantomos.
290
00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:35,580
Mr. Whalen, thank you for coming.
291
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:38,330
Professor Fantomos,
if this is about my paper, I'm really sorry.
292
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:41,170
We'll get to that, but first I wanted
to see how you were holding up...
293
00:14:41,290 --> 00:14:44,090
and extend my deepest
condolences about Stevie.
294
00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:46,090
Oh, I'm the one who should be sorry.
295
00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:49,420
I understand he was your lab
assistant for some time?
296
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:51,840
Yes, he was
quite a clever boy--
297
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:58,680
regrettable, which brings us
to the other reason I asked you here.
298
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,020
My paper.
You see--
299
00:15:00,140 --> 00:15:04,440
I'll be needing a new lab assistant,
and I'd like him to be you.
300
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,820
Me? Oh-- oh-- oh,
I-I don't think I'm ready.
301
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:11,360
Nonsense! I read your paper.
It was brilliant, perfect.
302
00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:14,280
Frankly, I think my class
may be beneath you.
303
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,910
And this ingenious contraption
you've built--
304
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,830
based on a Mike Sariamo design,
is it not?
305
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,920
He was a student of mine, you know.
306
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:26,500
Ah, the brightest mind I've ever
taught-- until now.
307
00:15:26,630 --> 00:15:29,010
There's something you should
know, William.
308
00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:32,340
Like you, I was born...
different.
309
00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:34,800
Yes, my family rejected me...
310
00:15:34,930 --> 00:15:38,810
the last son in a long line
of costumed adventurers.
311
00:15:38,930 --> 00:15:41,390
Clearly, I couldn't take
on the mantle of my forebears...
312
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:46,770
with this body, so I instead
turned to science.
313
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:50,190
What nature, in her caprice,
left unfinished...
314
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,780
science had the power
to make whole again.
315
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:57,990
And now that I've acquired this,
my work here is nearly complete.
316
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,870
You see, I've recently become
the beneficiary...
317
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:06,790
of a rather generous grant from the Guild...
318
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,000
of collegiate investors.
319
00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:10,250
Oh, I-I-- what?
Oh.
320
00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:12,340
Well, OK, well, I'd love to help you,
professor...
321
00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:14,260
but I don't know if I can handle
the extra work.
322
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,300
Nonsense!
323
00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:18,510
The university bylaws clearly
stipulate that the roommate...
324
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:22,100
of a suicide is automatically
granted a 4.0 for the semester.
325
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:23,600
You've got a free ride...
326
00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:27,310
Mr. Whalen, that I might have
you all to myself.
327
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:31,480
The invisible hand of fate
has brought us together, Quizboy.
328
00:16:31,610 --> 00:16:35,860
We freaks-- if you'll pardon
the crude vernacular...
329
00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:38,120
must work in tandem.
330
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,490
I don't think he's your guy.
331
00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:43,660
Of course he is.
All the intel points to it, damn it.
332
00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:45,790
Again with the intel.
You saw what he said.
333
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,960
He's not in the Guild of Calamitous Intent.
334
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,880
It's like a businessman's club
or something.
335
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,090
That's what they said about
the Bilderberg group, son...
336
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:55,680
and then whammo!
Berlin Wall comes tumbling down.
337
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,890
- No, it hasn't.
- Oh, it will, kiddo.
338
00:16:58,010 --> 00:16:59,680
It was decided at the last meeting.
339
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,720
Billy, you got to do
the lab-assistant gig.
340
00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:03,850
- You're our only hope now.
- What do you mean, "now"?
341
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:05,850
Well, look, I didn't
want to tell you this...
342
00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:08,060
but Stevie was our other
man on the inside.
343
00:17:08,190 --> 00:17:09,770
Code name-- Pussyface.
344
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,230
Is that why he killed himself?
345
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:12,530
Open your eyes, kid.
346
00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:13,650
Your real one.
347
00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:17,910
Fantomos killed him because
he was getting too close-- we think.
348
00:17:18,030 --> 00:17:20,580
And you expect me to take his place?
349
00:17:21,370 --> 00:17:22,740
No way, Jos�!
350
00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:25,120
Relax, he's not gonna kill you.
351
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:26,210
How can you be so sure?
352
00:17:26,330 --> 00:17:27,580
Because he's crazy about you.
353
00:17:27,710 --> 00:17:28,880
He loved your paper.
354
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,380
I never wrote my paper.
355
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:35,550
I spent the night explaining the dead Stevie
in the closet to the campus police.
356
00:17:35,670 --> 00:17:36,880
That's why we wrote it for you.
357
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:39,590
Well, Stephen Hawking did.
We called in a favor.
358
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:40,760
That's cheating.
359
00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:43,220
Cheating is what the spy
business is all about, boy chick.
360
00:17:43,350 --> 00:17:45,430
Why, if we don't keep our eyes
on our neighbof's paper...
361
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,060
the baddies get the bomb,
and the whole world goes kablooey.
362
00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:51,060
You keep thinking you're here
on the G.I. bill or something, kid.
363
00:17:51,190 --> 00:17:52,770
You are not here to write essays!
364
00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:54,280
You're not even in college!
365
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:59,320
You are in the office of secret intelligence,
you damn, dirty, little crybaby freak!
366
00:17:59,450 --> 00:18:01,370
- Hyah!
- Ow!
367
00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:02,490
Oh, watch the balls!
368
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:04,160
Get him!
369
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,080
Ah, there you are.
Come at once.
370
00:18:07,210 --> 00:18:09,040
The reactor's all fired up and ready.
371
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:10,920
I need you to monitor the experiment.
372
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,170
Wait, I don't think
I'm qualified to do that.
373
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:15,670
I-I cheated.
374
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,170
Don't you think
I know that, William?
375
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,470
- You do?
- Of course.
376
00:18:20,590 --> 00:18:22,260
You did what any of us
who were born different...
377
00:18:22,390 --> 00:18:24,310
need to do to get
a leg up on everyone else...
378
00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:26,770
particularly when we're born
without proper ones.
379
00:18:26,890 --> 00:18:27,810
And what of it?
380
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,520
Those quiz-show simpletons have
no right to keep a genius...
381
00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:32,360
from his dreams over petty money.
382
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,190
Quiz show?
No, that's not what I was--
383
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,230
Could you be a dear and get that for me?
384
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:37,320
Oh, sure, Professor.
385
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:38,360
What are you doing?
386
00:18:38,490 --> 00:18:40,820
Being born again,
my little friend.
387
00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:43,490
These mechanical husks
are more than mere prosthetics.
388
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:45,790
They're muscle-growth accelerators...
389
00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:49,210
incubators for my
glorious new normal limbs.
390
00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:51,080
You're gonna grow new arms and legs?
391
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:54,420
Precisely, my prodigiously
perspicacious prot�g�.
392
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,130
Only the tremendous power
I require to do so...
393
00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:58,670
was always beyond my grasp.
394
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,840
That is, until the Guild provided
the atomic get-up-and-go.
395
00:19:02,970 --> 00:19:05,680
Now, fire it up, my boy.
396
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:13,350
It's-- it's working.
I feel it.
397
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:17,530
Unspeakable power courses through
my every fibrous sinew.
398
00:19:17,650 --> 00:19:20,400
I feel as if I could take over the world!
399
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:22,660
More power!
400
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,620
Yes!
401
00:19:25,370 --> 00:19:29,910
They're becoming more than normal--
better, stronger...
402
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,120
dare I say superhuman?
403
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:35,290
More power, William!
404
00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:41,050
Something's amiss.
405
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,880
Check the core wall
displacement sequencer.
406
00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:45,220
I-I-I don't know what that is.
407
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,640
Of course you do.
You wrote a paper on it.
408
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,310
No, Professor Fantomos, I didn't.
409
00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:52,140
I didn't write it.
410
00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:53,980
I cheated!
411
00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:57,110
Oh, bother.
Ohh!
412
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,980
Aah!
413
00:19:59,530 --> 00:20:00,740
Aaahh!
414
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:03,610
Aaaahhh!
415
00:20:07,370 --> 00:20:09,490
He died for my sin.
416
00:20:09,620 --> 00:20:11,910
Billy, don't worry, we're here!
417
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:12,960
Bad news.
418
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,540
The most asinine...
419
00:20:14,670 --> 00:20:18,960
slop-happiest piece of espionage
I've ever seen!
420
00:20:19,090 --> 00:20:21,130
Look at me when
I'm talking to you, Samson!
421
00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:23,420
Don't you want to wait
till Hunter gets here?
422
00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:25,890
You're gonna strain your voice
yelling twice.
423
00:20:26,010 --> 00:20:28,550
Colonel Gathers has been
transferred to Guam...
424
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,810
effective 0700 this morning.
425
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:34,140
Your windmill-chasing days
are over, Sancho Panza.
426
00:20:34,270 --> 00:20:37,360
You got a new assignment.
427
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,570
Aw, come on.
This is rookie stuff.
428
00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:42,440
- Dismissed, Samson!
- What about the kid?
429
00:20:42,570 --> 00:20:43,990
What, do you want to adopt him?!
430
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,950
I said take it on the arches.
431
00:20:47,070 --> 00:20:51,580
Psi-Ops needs guinea pigs
for their memory-wipe project, OK?
432
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:55,120
So, unlike you, he still works here.
433
00:22:21,710 --> 00:22:22,880
Billy?
434
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,210
Billy, you OK, fella?
435
00:22:26,340 --> 00:22:27,380
White.
436
00:22:27,510 --> 00:22:28,380
Brock.
437
00:22:28,510 --> 00:22:29,470
Dr. Venture, where--
438
00:22:29,590 --> 00:22:32,850
It's OK, Pally.
You just took a little fall is all.
439
00:22:32,970 --> 00:22:33,890
You're safe now.
440
00:22:34,010 --> 00:22:35,930
Oh, I was having
the weirdest--
441
00:22:36,060 --> 00:22:38,230
you sons of bitches!
442
00:22:38,350 --> 00:22:39,640
Come on!
Oh, hey, hey!
443
00:22:40,305 --> 00:23:40,354
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