Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,273
Mayday! Mayday!
2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:07,608
We have broken orbit!
3
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:10,043
Repeat: Gargantua-1
has broken orbit!
4
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,913
We've lost stabilizers!
Retrorockets are offline
5
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,983
and all failsafes
have... failed!
6
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,118
Houston, do you copy?!
7
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:23,257
We're done for, Anna.
Make peace with your higher power.
8
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,425
There is one thing we could try.
9
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:28,295
Anna!
What are you doing?!
10
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:29,963
Restrain yourself!
11
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:59,459
Look at that! Clamoring
for a piece of that big phony.
12
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,228
- That should be me up there.
- Really?
13
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:04,565
- Why is that exactly?
- Is that supposed to be a joke?
14
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,633
Whose space station
just saved the world?
15
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,237
Manstrong's? No, mine.
He was just along for the ride.
16
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,072
They might as well
give a medal to the seats
17
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:14,074
while they're pinning one
on Luck Rogers.
18
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:15,576
Luck Rogers?
19
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,512
Do you like that?
I almost said Flash-In-the-Pan Gordon.
20
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:20,514
- Glad you didn't.
- No pictures, son.
21
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,717
Aw, gyp!
22
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:24,985
Hey, Hey!
23
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,723
Yeah! Join the bush club.
24
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,327
- Samson.
- Houser.
25
00:01:33,526 --> 00:01:36,629
- Samson.
- Houser.
26
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:40,300
Sam...
27
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,936
What's the matter?
Couldn't hack field work anymore...
28
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,239
so they made you
White House hall monitor?
29
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,608
You listen to me,
and you listen to me great, Samson.
30
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,810
You may be a O.S.I.,
but here, at the White House...
31
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:53,981
you're just another civilian.
And I got my eyes on you.
32
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,984
Both of you.
33
00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:00,053
- Friend of yours?
- We were in 'Nam together.
34
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,623
Wait! You were,
like, ten during Vietnam.
35
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,825
I didn't say during the war.
36
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,317
There I was,
37
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:32,519
grappling with the controls
38
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:36,023
of the proud and mighty
grande dame of the stars
39
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:38,859
as she burned up on re-entry.
40
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,627
Let him have his moment.
41
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,663
I'll have my turn,
as soon as the president
42
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,065
gets a load of a certain
little something something
43
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:46,733
I just happened to bring along.
44
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:49,136
Tell me you didn't bring
that thing with you.
45
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,838
Do you hate these things
as much as I do?
46
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,974
Bunch of back-patting phonies!
47
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:57,511
At least the wine is decent.
Keep it coming, honey!
48
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,147
And the next thing I knew,
49
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:04,451
I was waking up
in an army hospital in Iranistan.
50
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:08,555
Really? And that's all you remember
about the whole darned thing?
51
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,857
Unfortunately, yes.
52
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:15,095
I suppose it was that nasty bump
on the head I took in the crash.
53
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,197
Manstrong?
54
00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:19,566
Colonel Bud Manstrong,
can you hear me?
55
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:23,270
He's coming out of it.
The procedure was a success.
56
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,906
- What about the chip?
- It's not going anywhere.
57
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:29,376
- Who's your friend over here?
- That's Brock Samson.
58
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:32,946
- But he is no friend of mine.
- Too bad.
59
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:36,817
Remember when I called to tell you
I'd been accosted on Gargantua-1?
60
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,418
Of course I do!
61
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:41,355
Oh, the tears! The sniffling!
62
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,990
Yes, well...
63
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,325
- He's the fellow who did it.
- Him?!
64
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:48,895
So, why'd you beat my little boy up
and steal his girlfriend, blondie?
65
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,765
- Oh, mother.
- Don't say too much, do you?
66
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:55,836
Well, that's okay.
I like the strong and silent type.
67
00:03:56,036 --> 00:04:00,474
Ladies and gentlemen,
a toast to Colonel Bud Manstrong.
68
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:04,411
A man of bravery, integrity,
and indomitable spirit...
69
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:07,481
Oh, quit blowing smoke
up the boy's ass, Breyer.
70
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,916
We all know
the real reason Bud's here.
71
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,986
Your administration's
in the crapper, and you need
72
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:17,991
Mrs. Manstrong's little boyscout
on the team to polish that turd.
73
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,394
To Bud!
74
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:22,763
Whoopsie.
75
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,465
Mother! You can't talk
to the president like that.
76
00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,467
Well, I didn't vote for him!
77
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:31,638
Listen, you just keep smiling,
and let your mother deal with the politics.
78
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:33,607
He's embarrassed by his mother.
79
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,976
I breast-fed this one
till he lost his baby teeth
80
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,644
and he's embarrassed by me?
81
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:38,812
Oh, mother!
82
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:42,682
Prudish! Takes after his father,
the late senator, God rest his soul.
83
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:46,253
Man couldn't find a G-spot
without a senate subcommittee.
84
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,488
- Oh, mother!
- Say, Bud!
85
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:50,891
Or is it Budly? Budward?
What's Bud short for?
86
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,926
Nothing. It's just Bud.
87
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,963
Yeah? Seeing as how you're
all tight with the big guy
88
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,899
because you broke my space station,
89
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:02,736
I was wondering, if maybe,
you might put in a good word for me.
90
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:06,373
Why don't you stop bothering my son,
you awful little nobody!
91
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,409
Vultures, Buddy! Everyone's
gonna want a piece of you now,
92
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,278
but you don't give 'em a thing.
93
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,713
- Are you listening to me?!
- Yes, Mother.
94
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,572
Colonel Bud Manstrong,
95
00:05:15,767 --> 00:05:17,317
listen to your mother!
96
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,952
Yes, Mother.
97
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:29,129
So, then the teacher said,
"Johnny Deeper!"...
98
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,099
and so he stuck it in deeper!
What?!
99
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:36,436
Seriously, lady!
100
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,872
Knock it off!
I'm not into it!
101
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,009
Smooth.
102
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:46,246
Well, perhaps
we should call it a night, eh, folks?
103
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,682
Thank y'all for coming,
and please, let's...
104
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:52,285
let's have another round of applause
for the good colonel.
105
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:55,255
Come on.
Hands together. You, too.
106
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:59,926
Bud, why don't you come see me
privately in the Oval Office?
107
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,797
You boys better come with me.
108
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,866
But... Johnny Deeper!
109
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,435
I'm terribly sorry, sir.
110
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:11,004
Mother is... headstrong.
111
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:12,806
She speaks her mind
112
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:15,408
and one has no choice
but to listen.
113
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,612
Now don't you sweat it, Colonel Hangdog.
Your mother's right.
114
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,281
My administration's
up to its ass in scandal.
115
00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:23,383
Hell, my VP is under indictment.
116
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:25,685
Anyways, I'm up
for re-election in November.
117
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:27,220
And I don't have
a Chinaman's chance
118
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,856
unless I find me
a squeaky-clean running mate.
119
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,292
Good luck in this town, though.
Cigar?
120
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:36,596
Well, I don't usually partake,
but... Shucks!
121
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:39,966
I'm not in an oxygen-rich
environment anymore!
122
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,868
And how can one
decline an offer
123
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:45,405
from the president
of these United States?
124
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,174
Wait. Not that one.
125
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,943
I'm glad you feel that way, Bud,
126
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,012
'cause I've got
a proposition for you.
127
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,181
How'd you like
to be vice president?
128
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,682
Me?!
129
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:57,984
Hell, yeah, you!
Who'd you think I'm talking about?
130
00:06:58,051 --> 00:06:59,786
You're a genuine hero, boy.
131
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,755
The bureau can't find
a damn thing on you,
132
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,891
and, plus, you're a little bit
of the eye candy for the ladies.
133
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,494
Speaking of which...
Take your pick.
134
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:10,096
I'm not sure I follow you, sir.
135
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,265
Any of my secretarial staff.
136
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:14,601
Except the one in the blue dress
that smells like this.
137
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:15,835
Dear Lord!
138
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:19,206
That Phyllis' got my name
written all over her!
139
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:20,774
Literally!
140
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,376
I once wrote my name on the front
of her dress with the tip of my...
141
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:27,047
Oh, no! I'm not hearing this!
I'm not hearing this!
142
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,015
Good evening, sir!
143
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,921
Cass?
144
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:37,190
I'll take that blowjob now.
145
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,893
Now, you boys
get yourselves some sleep
146
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,728
and don't you worry about a thing.
147
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:45,532
I'm just gonna get some club soda
on these here stains before they set.
148
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,100
All your troubles be over.
149
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,569
I don't think club soda
can fix my problem.
150
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:51,304
Child.
151
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,707
Little club soda
get out most anything.
152
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,710
- Wait! Don't leave!
- Dude, what is your damage?
153
00:07:56,876 --> 00:08:01,281
I saw something.
I think this place is... haunted.
154
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:03,383
You're just being superstitious.
155
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,952
I am not!
Just extra-stitious.
156
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,955
There's something wiggy going on.
I can feel it.
157
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,324
It's like... like we're being watched.
158
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:12,993
Yeah, well...
159
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,828
Lincoln bedroom is secure. Over.
160
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:19,466
Whoa! Whoa! Slow down, Buddy.
161
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:22,135
- Tell mama what happened.
- He was horrible, mother!
162
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:25,705
That drooling, foul-mouthed,
pervert of a man...
163
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,240
And crude!
164
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:31,678
He said the most
disgraceful, ribaldrous things.
165
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:34,014
Yeah, yeah.
Did he offer you vice president?
166
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,815
He did! And I told him
167
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:38,018
he could just take that job
and he could...
168
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,153
he could stick...
he could take it...
169
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,088
and he could stick the job in...
170
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,291
I ran away!
171
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:47,560
Then get back in there
and tell him you changed your mind.
172
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,063
You want me to come with you
and show you how?
173
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,865
Like when mama
held your pee-pee
174
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,767
and taught you
how to make your sisses?
175
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:56,770
But, mother, you said
not to give anyone anything.
176
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,205
Without getting
something in return, Buddy.
177
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:00,974
You gotta make him pay, Buddy!
178
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,142
But I don't want...
179
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:06,579
Colonel Bud Manstrong,
listen to your mother.
180
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,449
You will go back in there
and take this job
181
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:13,019
because it will put you next
to the most powerful man in the world.
182
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:16,423
Now, be a man
and do what has to be done!
183
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,992
Oh, come on, Brock.
184
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,861
Just buy me five minutes.
I've been practicing my pitch all week.
185
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:24,664
You just have no clue, do you?
186
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:28,168
These aren't a bunch of fake pirates
or dinks in rubber butterfly suits, Doc.
187
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,871
We're talking about
the United States Secret Service.
188
00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:35,842
Please. We'll both be off the hook when
he feasts his eyes on what I have to offer.
189
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:39,179
This thing sells itself. If it doesn't,
I can't afford to pay you this month.
190
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,915
- You don't pay me.
- Why do you keep looking around?
191
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,284
You're really afraid
of that Houser guy, aren't you?
192
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:48,455
No. Manstrong's mom.
She's got a few drinks in her
193
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:52,258
and she tried to free
Nelson Mandela under the table.
194
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,662
Say... Okay, plan B.
195
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,731
You throw the old broad a mercy lay
196
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:01,501
and in exchange
she sweet-talks the president for me.
197
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:06,005
Nice scene
you made at dinner, Samson.
198
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:09,376
Don't ever embarrass
the president like that again.
199
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,845
I don't think the agency
could possibly demote you
200
00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:13,913
any lower than they already have.
201
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:17,617
But I hear there's an opening
in the mail room.
202
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:20,453
Helsinki branch.
203
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:25,725
I gotta take...
I got a call. I gotta take this.
204
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,193
You know what, Doc?
205
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,395
- You're on.
- Really?
206
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:29,629
Plan A or plan B?
207
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:01,561
Venture brothers!
208
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:02,962
You must help me!
209
00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:07,434
Colonel Manstrong is going
to assassinate the president!
210
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:11,938
Hank, wake up!
It's the ghost of Abraham Lincoln!
211
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,073
Who?
212
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:18,645
Mr. President,
213
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:22,182
my boy had a little
crisis of conscience earlier.
214
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,185
But... Well...
215
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,986
Just do it, Buddy.
216
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,790
Mr. President...
217
00:11:33,199 --> 00:11:34,227
Oh, my God!
218
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,130
Hello, Dr. Venture.
219
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:41,034
If I could have a moment of your time,
I have something amazing to show you!
220
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:44,537
Security breach! Security breach!
Damn it! Houser, where are you?!
221
00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:46,639
Thank God!
222
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,842
Arrest this ma...
Hey, you're not my guy.
223
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,543
Got about a minute, Doc.
Make it count.
224
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:53,646
Hear me out, your Excellency!
If you're anything like me,
225
00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:56,282
then you're super concerned
about security.
226
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:59,385
Because in these uncertain times,
what could be more important
227
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,721
than the safety
of your family, your home,
228
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:04,357
your country,
and your troops on the battlefield?
229
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,327
Down in front, stick!
We were talking here!
230
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,162
Allow me to formally
make your acquaintance
231
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,898
with the Venture Dome,
the world's first fully portable,
232
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:14,033
battery-powered,
invisible force field.
233
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,134
Gun!
234
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:19,339
A microchip! Microchip!
It's in the back of his head.
235
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,140
His mother is using it to control him
236
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:24,344
and she's going to make him
assassinate the president!
237
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:27,447
It just sounds
a little far-fetched.
238
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,682
Yeah. Thank you.
I'm glad you said it.
239
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:33,086
What? Didn't either of you see
The Manchurian Candidate?
240
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,655
Not even the remake with Denzel?
Come on!
241
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:38,024
I've been dead
for seven score years and even...
242
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,326
- Who is this guy?
- Abraham Lincoln!
243
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:44,030
16th President of the United States!
Come on! You're kidding me!
244
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,299
Yeah, didn't you learn
anything in bed?
245
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:49,002
All right.
All right, how about this?
246
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:50,970
I'm the $5.00 bill guy.
247
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,872
You invented the $5.00 bill?
248
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:54,908
Yes, Hank. Yes, I did.
249
00:12:54,995 --> 00:12:57,944
Dean, you seem
a little more on the ball here.
250
00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:00,914
- Help me stop Manstrong.
- Why do you need us?
251
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:04,717
Because I'm immaterial.
Look at this. It's a no-go.
252
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:08,054
I need to possess one of your bodies
just for a little while
253
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:11,624
till I can stop him.
Will one of you do that for me?
254
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,927
- For the Union?
- Not it!
255
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:17,263
One, two, three... nine, ten. Jinx!
You owe me a coke!
256
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:21,267
You are in for a world of suck, mister.
257
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,003
Why are you men lollygagging?!
258
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,705
- Lock this jackass up!
- They can't hear you.
259
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,140
Sound-proof.
260
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,043
- What the Sam-crazy...
- It's a force field.
261
00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:33,046
- Of my own design.
- All right, turn it off, smart face.
262
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:36,716
- You smashed the remote.
- Well, unplug it then. Whatever.
263
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,252
What am I, an amateur?
It's battery-powered.
264
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:42,155
- Excellent for armies in the field.
- All in a package this small?
265
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,390
- Stand back, sir.
- I wouldn't do that.
266
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,926
- They're... nuclear batteries.
- Nucular?
267
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,695
That's not actually
a word, but, yes!
268
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,197
All right, people, we got a situation here.
I'm gonna need troops...
269
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:54,467
Not gonna work either.
Jams radios, phones, intercoms...
270
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,135
Only on the deluxe model, of course.
271
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:58,638
So, how the hell
are we supposed to get out of here?
272
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,674
Well, it'll run out of juice
on it's own in about...
273
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:03,610
What's the half-life
on cobalt again?
274
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:06,879
- 5.24 years.
- 5.24 years.
275
00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:08,414
Give or take.
276
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:17,724
Yes, yes. Of course, general.
You can count on me.
277
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,593
Sorry, hon. Gotta work tonight.
National emergency.
278
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,295
Little man need Ned help?
279
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,664
- Ned protect little man.
- No, no, Ned. Thank you.
280
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:27,433
- I won't be in any danger.
- Ned love little man!
281
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,803
Okay! A little too tight, Ned!
282
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,673
Ned give little man the brain vein.
283
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,009
It's okay, Ned.
You ready, captain?
284
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,977
Gassed up
and on the runway, chairman.
285
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,646
Don't wait up, hon.
286
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,589
Dude! What the dilly?!
287
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:51,157
Did it work?
What happened?
288
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,992
Honest Abe's a mo,
that's what happened!
289
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,528
Sorry! Sorry!
What came over me?
290
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:58,564
I was just a bit overwhelming
having a body again.
291
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:02,035
All those hormones!
All right.
292
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:06,506
Just let me try this again.
I'm ready for it this time.
293
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:09,642
- Who's Triana, by the way?
- Just get in.
294
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,378
- And no funny business.
- Yes, already.
295
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,580
Like you boys
never experimented.
296
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:15,882
Dean!
297
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,518
There. You're safe now, sir.
298
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,654
- I've secured a perimeter.
- That's great, Houser.
299
00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:24,323
You hear that, people?
Nobody crosses this line.
300
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:27,026
You think you could
maybe not smoke in here?
301
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:30,029
- Fine.
- Thank you.
302
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,498
It's still going.
303
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:36,035
Now the other one's caught.
Nice one.
304
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,238
Everything you touch
turns to suck. It's official.
305
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:41,507
Oh, no!
They called my brother?
306
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,209
Could this be
any more embarrassing?
307
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:46,846
Yeah, all right, hi.
I see you. Go to hell.
308
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,348
Well, Doc, can you
break it down or what?
309
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:53,352
Well, I could try to generate
an artificial Einstein-Rosen bridge,
310
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:57,724
but I can't guarantee we wouldn't be
sucked into another dimension.
311
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:01,227
Well! Hey, there, nephew!
What are you doing?
312
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:03,763
That little bastard!
313
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,898
How'd he do that?
314
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,703
- Gotta go.
- What are you trying to do, Dean?
315
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,371
We're helping our new ghost pal.
316
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,840
Ain't that something!
317
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:16,576
I wish my boy
had that kind of creativity.
318
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:19,078
Colonel Manstrong's going
to assassinate the president!
319
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:21,647
It's not really his fault though.
His mom's controlling him.
320
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,584
Don't give me that psycho-babble, son.
After a certain age...
321
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:27,754
a man needs to take responsibility
for his own actions.
322
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,322
- Okay.
- Sure!
323
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:31,390
Maybe if I had hugged
my thick-headed son more,
324
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:35,294
he wouldn't have started them fires
or stolen all that lacrosse equipment,
325
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,797
but, damn it,
sometimes they're just bad apples.
326
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,665
Damnation!
327
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:43,035
Force field! I didn't see
that one coming. Sorry, Dean.
328
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,737
Okay, okay. New plan.
329
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,606
Well, you just KO'ed Uncle Sam.
330
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,908
Why can't you just do that
to an astronaut and his mom?
331
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:50,810
That's not Uncle Sam, it's me!
332
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,912
Couldn't lay a glove on it
if it weren't.
333
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:56,816
I can only move things
in the material world that bear my image.
334
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,185
Wait! That penny
in your pocket, Dean.
335
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,587
I was able to get that through
the force field. That's it!
336
00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:04,056
We build a gun
made out of pennies!
337
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,359
Exactly! Wait, no!
That's insane.
338
00:17:06,425 --> 00:17:07,727
But I have another idea.
339
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:12,231
Boys, I need $5.00 bills.
Scores of them! Ten score at least.
340
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:13,666
How are we gonna find that many?
341
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,702
How, how? What are you, an owl?
He can make them with his magic.
342
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:20,072
For the last time, Hank,
I'm a ghost, not a genie.
343
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:22,375
You two must find a way!
344
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:26,045
Wait! Does it matter
if it's the new fives or the old ones?
345
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:29,715
I prefer the new ones.
But whatever! Go, go!
346
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:56,776
Score! Thank you,
Ambassador Mumbattu.
347
00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:02,615
Well, I promised my wife and Jesus
I wouldn't anymore.
348
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:05,551
But things being
as they are, well...
349
00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:08,154
Thank you, no, sir.
I'm on duty.
350
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:10,456
- Hey! Hey! Perimeter!
- Do something.
351
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:12,058
Am I the only one that cares about...
352
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,727
Am I the only one
that cares about perimeters?
353
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,063
'Cause I'm starting to think I am.
354
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:19,332
And I don't... and I don't like it.
355
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,768
Mother's had a bit too much already.
356
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,971
- How about you?
- I don't drink.
357
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:29,141
- I'm sorry.
- For what?
358
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:32,278
Lieutenant Baldavich.
I didn't know she was...
359
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,413
your girlfriend.
That wasn't cool.
360
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,315
Mr. Samson,
361
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:39,986
Gargantua-1 was
an orbiting metal Eden
362
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:44,290
until you sullied it
with your Brando-esque sensuality
363
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:47,260
and your non-regulation apparel.
364
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:51,030
Sorry doesn't quite make up
for deflowering my Eve.
365
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:54,333
Come on. Enough with
the boyscout act.
366
00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:57,603
You two were alone
on that thing for years.
367
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,072
Now, don't tell me
you never hit that.
368
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,875
What?!
I never struck her!
369
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:06,178
How dare you
even imply that I did!
370
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,447
I loved her!
371
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,487
This ain't good.
372
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,925
FDR.
Now, he was a real president.
373
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,726
I loved to watch him sleep.
374
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:23,596
Weight of the world
on his little polio shoulders.
375
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,631
The Depression, World War II.
376
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:29,635
He slept like a baby.
Now, that is a clear conscience.
377
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,439
This Breyer guy, though,
he's the worst president I've ever seen.
378
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:35,608
Then why am I wasting
my time with this?
379
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,911
Honestly? I'm kind of hoping
to earn my wings on this deal.
380
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,981
So, we're not just
saving the president,
381
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,816
we're saving you, too!
382
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,319
My Lincoln sense is tingling!
383
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,955
Manstrong's making his move!
Hurry, boys!
384
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:50,323
Svengali!
385
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,959
No, no!
Look, this is not what it looks like.
386
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,462
First Anna, now my mother?!
387
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,764
Have you no shame, you...
388
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,167
You mandingo!
389
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,736
Okay, get up! We're doing this!
390
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,639
You and me, Samson,
right now! Let's go!
391
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:09,542
Come on, man. You know
I'm just gonna beat you stupid.
392
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,978
- I've done it before.
- With a sucker punch.
393
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:15,648
This time, school-yard rules.
No cheap shots.
394
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,817
This is ridiculous.
Your mother just...
395
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:19,652
No mothers!
396
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,223
What?!
397
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,359
Here comes the Rail Splitter!
398
00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:28,794
What the hell's going on now?!
399
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,463
What? Did my brother make that?
400
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:34,133
Mr. President, this man's
an assassin programmed to kill you!
401
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,802
There's a microchip
in his brain. Look!
402
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,971
Perimeter, sir! Perimeter!
403
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,873
Damn it! Not again!
404
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:47,013
Stop bothering my son!
405
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:49,715
Did I graze you, Niblets?
406
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:53,019
You did it, boys.
You saved the president.
407
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,820
Go, Team Venture!
408
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:58,391
You're supposed to be a doctor.
Is my Buddy gonna be okay?
409
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,292
Wait a minute. I recognize this.
410
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,029
It's a Venture Industries microchip.
Hang on a sec.
411
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,234
It's the mother board
from Gargantua-1.
412
00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:10,970
Anna! What are you doing?!
413
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:12,972
Restrain yourself!
414
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,207
If we are going to die,
415
00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:18,344
I want to go out with a bang,
as they say.
416
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:26,285
I knew it!
Told you this clown was no hero!
417
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:29,488
He just blacked out
in the middle of a hand-job.
418
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,458
Someone's playing
with his Lincoln logs.
419
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:37,530
Oh, my God!
It's full of stars!
420
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:40,566
Penny for his thoughts.
421
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,797
You're... still here.
Shouldn't you have crossed over?
422
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:15,401
Apparently, stopping my bodyguard
from beating up a repressed masturbator
423
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,970
isn't enough to get you
into heaven these days. Go figure.
424
00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:20,873
You're one to judge, Rusty.
425
00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:24,443
I seem to remember a certain
fast-handed little redhead
426
00:22:24,643 --> 00:22:28,180
sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom
a score and a half years back.
427
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,016
- All right.
- Not that you did much sleeping.
428
00:22:31,217 --> 00:22:32,284
Okay.
429
00:22:32,384 --> 00:22:34,587
I... never would
have thought that.
430
00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:37,823
Don't know why you people
gotta complicate everything.
431
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:41,393
I told y'all, a little club soda
fix most everything.
432
00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:45,993
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34146
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.