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1
00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:19,553
You're kidding me!
2
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,322
Take that!
3
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:25,759
Hank, are you even close to finished?
Dad!
4
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,962
Dean, you smell like a whore.
What's that? Not again!
5
00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:30,798
- Brock!
- What?
6
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:33,267
- You said to put on your best outfit.
- Outfit, Hank.
7
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,068
- Not costume.
- What the f...?
8
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,204
I guess you can't come.
Right? Hank can't come?
9
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,305
Nice try, Dean.
10
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,741
I'm giving you three minutes
to get changed
11
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:43,377
or you walk and
I let Dean drive the Charger.
12
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,479
Dead, what did you do,
shave with a hatchet?
13
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,447
I used the razor
with the pink handle.
14
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:50,751
That's my daisy!
I use that one for my head.
15
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,120
- I thought God shaved your head.
- He does!
16
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,722
But he leaves the sides,
Mr. Wisenheimer.
17
00:00:55,889 --> 00:01:00,260
I have been attempting to stave off
this awkward, yet necessary conversation.
18
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:03,197
- Please, dad.
- This is my duty!
19
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:07,534
What is funny about my duty?
You know I take my duty quite seriously.
20
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,169
You said...
21
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:12,573
- Never mind.
- I share your nervousness.
22
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,976
But there are certain facts that a
father must impart to his daughter
23
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,846
on occasions such as this...
Yes, "doody". Clever.
24
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,514
- Dad...
- Hear me out!
25
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,518
When young women reach oestrus,
26
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,754
the lingam craves,
27
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:31,925
the stamen-like skills of the yoni.
28
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:35,963
- This is quite natural.
- Dad, come on. I'm doing you a favor.
29
00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:39,533
Yes, Mr. Venture has been kind enough
to give me some leeway with the rent
30
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,270
if I get the boys, as he says,
"out of his hair" for the evening.
31
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:47,374
But as you know, tonight
I teach conjuring at the new school.
32
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,943
It's not a problem.
Kim and I could use a free dinner.
33
00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:53,247
It's just that boys at their age
have unchecked desires coursing,
34
00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:57,684
nay, raging, as a tempest would,
through their tingling nethers!
35
00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,053
Come on, Dad!
36
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:04,124
I'm going on a date with...
the Venture Brothers!
37
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:32,252
Rembrandt van Rijn.
38
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,589
150 years ago,
Delacroix said of Rembrandt
39
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:39,026
that his works would be held
higher than those of Raphael.
40
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:42,829
His blasphemous prophecy
came true within 50 years.
41
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:46,733
And this one could be yours
for the pittance of 10 million. American.
42
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,369
- No, I want the Mona Lisa.
- Look.
43
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:52,472
The Mona Lisa's not a better painting,
merely more famous.
44
00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:54,741
And it was made more famous
because it was stolen.
45
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:59,379
- And this was stolen, so...
- What about her famous smile?
46
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,448
Whatever. She looks like a horse!
47
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:04,584
It's tiny, you know,
the thing is like, this big.
48
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,054
- Really?
- Yes, really. So this is cheaper.
49
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,389
By the... By the foot.
50
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,492
My queen has arrived.
51
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,228
And bearing wine shandies.
52
00:03:15,502 --> 00:03:19,132
My own variation
on tinto de verano.
53
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:22,202
Just a little what-not
I picked up in Costa de la Lu...
54
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,671
- What is this crap?
- It's a Rembrandt, how dare you?
55
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,307
I know it's a Rembrandt.
This is arch-villainy to you!
56
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:30,477
It's a stolen Rembrandt.
That's nefarious.
57
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:32,779
That's... That's kind of evil. No?
58
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,682
When I met you, you wouldn't
even bother with guys like that.
59
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:38,719
Not everybody has a trust fund
like your insect ex-boyfriend.
60
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:42,723
If you think I'll go back to a diet
of Rammen Noodles and Spaghetti-Os
61
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,559
driving around in a Honda Accord
with a ghost on the hood, sorry.
62
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,694
I have plans.
63
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:53,166
- What are you doing?
- I'm wringing my hands... menacingly.
64
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,969
Well, nobody can see that!
You're a bookkeeper.
65
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,373
Nothing more than an accountant
in spandex, and you don't even know it!
66
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:03,310
You want evil!
You want the old stuff?
67
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:04,878
Fine!
68
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,016
Happy?
69
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:11,451
[bleep]-ing great,
I think I killed him.
70
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:13,920
No, I'm not happy.
All of this is ludicrous!
71
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,189
Great! He's bleeding
from his wounds.
72
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,625
- Way to over-react!
- I'll need some seltzer.
73
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:21,862
- What are you thinking?
- This carpet is Persian! Irreplaceable!
74
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,197
What with there not
being a Persia anymore.
75
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:26,299
Forget it!
I'm gonna go change.
76
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:29,469
We've those stupid dinner plans
with the Monarch at eight.
77
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,672
That seltzer isn't going to get itself!
78
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,817
24! Ready the Monarch Mobile!
79
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,285
Your leader has a date.
80
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:48,422
We kind of don't have
a Monarch Mobile anymore.
81
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,923
- Why not?
- We ditched it!
82
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,226
The heat was on us, after that
Venture brother thing, so we thought...
83
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:56,663
- All right, fine. What are our options?
- We can take my Nissan Stanza.
84
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,566
- Shotgun call, totally!
- What color is it?
85
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:03,003
Is it diabolical?
Or at least butterfly colored?
86
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:05,405
- It's powder blue. Mostly.
- Great.
87
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,575
- 21, what do you drive?
- His powder blue Stanza.
88
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:12,612
Lab, schmab.
I'm finished with work for today.
89
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:15,916
No, I wanted the boys away
because I made a discovery of the...
90
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,984
Bond scientific kind.
91
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:21,154
- What did you find? Are you okay?
- I'm more than okay.
92
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:26,126
While perusing TV Guide,
I found a little, shall I say, flick,
93
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:29,763
starring a one Miss Dolly Parton.
94
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,299
Yeah, it seems she
made a racy film called
95
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,935
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas!
96
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,637
Yeah, Doc, you're gonna
be disappointed there...
97
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,306
Don't ruin it for me!
98
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:42,275
I have popcorn popping
and the VCR set for stun.
99
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:46,213
- You wanna watch it with me?
- No, I'm cool, I...
100
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,315
I gotta drive the boys to dinner.
101
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,917
Oh, I get it!
102
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:55,722
Yeah, this kind of films are meant
to be watched solo, a mono.
103
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,424
Yeah, that's it.
104
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,529
So, are they cute?
105
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:05,966
Well, Dean, he's kinda cute.
He dresses like Buddy Holly.
106
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,668
- That's cool.
- But I think he does it accidentally.
107
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,204
- What about my date?
- Hank? Yeah. Well,
108
00:06:11,295 --> 00:06:15,375
he's blond, and more, like, athletic.
109
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,411
- Sounds good. How does he dress?
- Like Fred from Scooby Doo.
110
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:22,015
Well, put in my mix tape,
it's right on the dash.
111
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:26,019
It says, "Chillin' with my peeps,
and my main man the Monarch."
112
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,622
We have to stop
and pick up my... date.
113
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:30,423
I thought Dr. Girlfriend
was gonna be there!
114
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,526
Yes, with that dick, Phantom Limb!
115
00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:35,629
I plan to use
the never-failed strategy of jealousy!
116
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,198
- Who's your date?
- I met her on the Live Journal.
117
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,368
Which I kept in prison.
I have been blogging.
118
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:46,305
After posting an especially attractive
picture of my prison-sculpted abs,
119
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,876
she commented
that I was not only "lean",
120
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:54,047
I was "teh sex",
whatever that means.
121
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:58,885
Any advice? You know,
this being our first big date and all?
122
00:06:58,952 --> 00:06:59,860
Yeah.
123
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,055
- No?
- No.
124
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:06,459
Don't pull out her chair, kiss her hand,
or anything like that, it's kind of dorky.
125
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:10,230
Just be yourself.
Wait! Here, take this.
126
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,233
It's got plenty of money,
and it doesn't have a cartoon bee on it.
127
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:17,270
Don't let them pay for anything,
and if you end up going to, like, a movie,
128
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,406
you call me on the two-way, okay?
129
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,774
What about me?
130
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,710
Any advice to help me score
with my mystery date?
131
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:28,315
Yeah, don't say "score" or anything close
to "mystery date" in front of her.
132
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:33,053
And don't do that
"Do you like seafood?" joke either.
133
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,922
Can do! Gosh, she would
totally know that joke already.
134
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,328
You're awfully quiet.
135
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:44,931
What?
136
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,235
Stop that!
137
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:54,441
And then you go, "My brother
can jump over, like, ten garbage cans!"
138
00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,409
And then I'll say something cool, like,
139
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,846
"If I can keep the front wheel
from bursting into flames." okay?
140
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:02,282
And don't forget to call me
"the Hankanator."
141
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,517
I'll do no such... They're here!
142
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,020
Dude, sit down!
We have to play it cool.
143
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,956
Observe how I scope out
my mystery date
144
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,260
whilst I pretend
to look at my watch.
145
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,095
Holy moly, look at my date!
146
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,797
She's a supervillain!
Possibly a Medusa.
147
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:22,102
Dean, I am not kidding.
She has rope for hair and a shiny costume!
148
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,671
Not fair, she's wearing goggles!
149
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,974
Told you she would dig
my Batman suit, but no!
150
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:32,012
Go sit somewhere! Watch my back
and pretend you don't know me.
151
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,448
We're dressed like butterflies,
it's gonna be kinda difficult.
152
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:38,385
Jollyrancher82,
never get henchmen.
153
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,654
You know, that's not my real name.
154
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,390
Well, how was I supposed to know?
I used my real name.
155
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:47,761
I just thought, you know, "The Monarch,"
I thought you were into cosplay.
156
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:52,499
Real name. And I am into
costume business, not costume play.
157
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:55,935
[bleep] They're here! Fawn over me!
Treat me as if I am candy!
158
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,171
Wow! She's gorgeous!
159
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,240
She is heat incarnate.
160
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:04,110
When I met her she looked like
that girl Saffron from the band Republica.
161
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,212
She had those red
streaky things in her hair.
162
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,715
- I heard she was kind of manly.
- That's ridiculous!
163
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,851
Who would say such things?
The woman is a delicate flower.
164
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:14,754
That dude she's with?
That's Phantom Limb.
165
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:17,190
When he was at college,
he was a scrawny little wuss.
166
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:20,193
In a desperate attempt
to be cooler than guys like me,
167
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:24,597
he had his 12-year old roommate create
a machine that speeds up muscle-building.
168
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:28,268
The machine worked so well
that every molecule in his extremities
169
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,670
was accelerated
beyond the speed of light!
170
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,672
There were two side effects.
171
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:36,443
One, he can mess up a guy
just by touching him.
172
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:39,646
And two, he became a humorless dick!
173
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:41,614
How do you think
he floats like that?
174
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:43,750
He's not floating,
his legs are invisible.
175
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,251
- What?
- Yeah.
176
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,115
Used to be a good guy actually.
177
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,191
When he and Billy, that weird midget
who won a bunch of money on Card Sharks,
178
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,759
invented a time machine.
179
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:55,228
He became a villain,
and the story is that
180
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,497
the time machine was,
like, broken or something.
181
00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:00,500
So Phantom Limbs' arms and legs
and Billy's hand
182
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,936
were sent 40 years into the future.
183
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,538
- I loved Card Sharks!
- Great show.
184
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:09,309
Wow! That guy's, like, just a torso.
185
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:10,977
Yeah! That's Phantom Limb.
186
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:14,447
I don't think he professionally hates
my dad, but he totally hates my dad.
187
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:16,750
I think he used to be
a famous magician.
188
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:20,086
And one time, while performing
for the Queen of England,
189
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,256
he accidentally made
his arms and legs disappear.
190
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,626
They're now on the moon,
with a whole bunch of rabbits and doves
191
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:29,262
and playing cards
and pretty assistants and some milk.
192
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,697
- Never happened.
- Did!
193
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,999
I also heard
that he sliced off a kid's hand.
194
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:35,101
And ate it! Yeah.
195
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,504
It was that bigheaded guy
that operated on your balls, Dean.
196
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:40,073
Hank, don't you have
to go to the bathroom?
197
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,542
What are you, psychic?
I totally do!
198
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,911
Weird! Well ladies,
199
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:48,214
seems that young Dean here
needs an escort to the bathroom.
200
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:51,418
If there's any trouble,
you just give the Hankanator a holler.
201
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:55,622
Now this one allows the holder
to watch three separate scientists.
202
00:10:55,722 --> 00:11:00,059
Headquarters insurance, with the exception
of bog or volcano hideouts,
203
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,229
full henchmen coverage,
and a nice little mutiny clause.
204
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,866
Whatever! Just give me the one
that lets me take down Venture!
205
00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:09,335
We like to keep
our dreams small, don't we?
206
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,571
Fine, another 38 with henchmen.
207
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,073
Look who's talking!
The Great Phantom Limb!
208
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,609
The most deadly villain of all time,
my ass!
209
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,845
You're in granny glasses,
selling me insurance!
210
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,847
- Keep it down, please.
- I'll have you know,
211
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:23,683
I could take the entire Venture family out
with one phone call!
212
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:26,219
Sure you could!
That family's indestructible!
213
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,488
- I dare you!
- Fine!
214
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:33,293
I need an immediate blackout.
Four, and a robot.
215
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:37,564
Syndicate number,
Victor. Echo. November. Seven-Niner.
216
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:40,467
Roger, dispatching
Blackout Team now.
217
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,369
- What are you doing?
- I hate that song.
218
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,672
Niner, nice touch.
219
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,407
Within the hour,
220
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,609
the entire Venture family
221
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,611
will be dead.
222
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:03,756
Come on! Not again!
223
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:07,427
I need you in the panic room,
The compound is on full lock-down.
224
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:12,065
I am this close to seeing Dolly's goods!
I mean, they can't sing forever!
225
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,801
Honestly, this nonsense happens
once a week, I'm not gonna...
226
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,837
- Why are you naked?
- To prey on their fear.
227
00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:20,340
Move like an animal to feel the kill.
228
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,510
Right, now you're scaring me.
What's going on?
229
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,713
I don't know. But judging
from these goggles, it's the Guild.
230
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:29,415
Seems like you made it
to the big league, what did you do?
231
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,886
Nothing, I was just sitting here
watching the worst porno ever.
232
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,554
Is that a head?
233
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:36,556
Don't be a nervous nellie.
234
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:39,859
The generators'll kick in in...
There you go.
235
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:44,430
This is different, Brock. Isn't it?
236
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,933
We might not win this one.
You get to the panic room!
237
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,602
Okay. Just let me finish
peeing on myself.
238
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:52,505
H.E.L.P.eR., institute tactical
and defensive weaponry.
239
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:55,241
Escort the doctor to the panic room!
240
00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:00,113
Well, isn't this wonderful?
241
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:03,883
My favorite part is when you decided
to kill the Venture family.
242
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:08,021
No, wait! It was
when your fake date ran off crying!
243
00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:11,024
- Come on, Monarch, how old was she?
- Will you look at me?
244
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,759
I'm in a [bleep]-ing
evil butterfly costume.
245
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:14,694
What age group do you
think is attracted to me?
246
00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:18,031
Super. Well, if you gentlemen
will excuse me,
247
00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:21,801
I'm going to powder my nose,
or whatever the clich� is.
248
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:24,504
Nice one!
Look what you did!
249
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,239
Yeah. I did that.
250
00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:37,016
Strange, you almost can't feel it.
251
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,785
No, don't move.
252
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:43,356
The knife is still in you, the blade right
between the kidney and the spleen.
253
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,792
- Just a twitch...
- It feels almost cold.
254
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:48,895
You tell me your target,
and I slide the knife out.
255
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,496
You might live, or...
256
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,332
Blackout. Four and a robot.
257
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,666
Good boy.
258
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:57,702
I think you may have got the kidney.
I don't wanna die alone.
259
00:13:57,904 --> 00:14:01,007
- Don't go.
- I don't think I hit your kidney.
260
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,176
No, no, you totally did.
261
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,579
Please, hold me.
262
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,348
I'm pretty sure I missed the kidney.
263
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:11,417
You could bleed to death
in, like, four hours, but...
264
00:14:11,558 --> 00:14:14,427
I see a tunnel. I'm scared.
265
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,623
Could you stroke my hair?
266
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,124
Look, you are not gonna...
267
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:21,628
Can you sing to me?
Could you sing a Technotronic song?
268
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:25,164
- Maybe Pump up the Jam?
- I don't know...
269
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:28,101
What about Move This?
Do you know that one?
270
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:30,837
? Baby let me ?
271
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,873
All signed.
Guess I'm back in the Guild.
272
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:37,076
Not that it matters, with you believing
you destroyed the Venture Family.
273
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,511
Do you love her?
274
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:42,649
Don't do this crap. This is way
too high school for me. It's embarrassing.
275
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:47,687
I'm not letting her go.
So for your sake, I hope you do.
276
00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:49,455
I hope you don't.
277
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,392
H.E.L.P.eR.,
I need you to get the boys!
278
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:56,362
H.E.L.P.eR., the boys are in danger!
What the?
279
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:59,098
H.E.L.P.eR! Damn it!
280
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:03,603
Doc! Doc!
Stay in the panic room!
281
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,439
I have to protect the boys, Doc!
282
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,741
Don't move! I'll be back.
283
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:13,279
Totally ruined!
Special thanks to you, Hankanator!
284
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:16,516
- She'll never talk to me again!
- You can't hide in here all night.
285
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,686
You have to get back on that horse.
You gotta grab her and go,
286
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,988
- "Triana, I'm gonna kiss you."
- Hank.
287
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:25,024
"I'm gonna kiss you on the mouth,
and you're gonna love..."
288
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,492
- Hank!
- What?!
289
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:29,762
- You have a stain.
- What? Come on!
290
00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:31,197
Why does that happened?
291
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:33,533
I shook it so hard
I almost hit that pink puck.
292
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,068
- Well, did you dab?
- What?
293
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,270
- Dab! Did you dab?
- No.
294
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,738
- I dab.
- I don't.
295
00:15:38,781 --> 00:15:40,416
- You should dab.
- Stop saying dab!
296
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,008
Brock? Brock?
297
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:45,578
- Brock, please, Brock!
- Doc, I'm going for the boys.
298
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,780
- They're a target.
- Brock? Brock?
299
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,717
- Doc, you okay?
- Emphatically no, Brock.
300
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,553
- Can't see you, what's going on?
- I'm on the V-com.
301
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:55,922
I made it to the panic room.
302
00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:59,058
H.E.L.P.eR. kept them off at first,
but man, those guys were persistent!
303
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,260
Most of my blood is on the floor
304
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,731
and the only thing keeping me alive
is our lack of storage.
305
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:08,568
If you don't come save me,
I'm going to fire you, Brock.
306
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:12,371
You gotta try to hold on, Doc.
I'll be back soon!
307
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,440
Brock, you're fired.
308
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:17,910
Steak fries.
309
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:20,146
Always soggy.
310
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:23,683
[bleep] this!
311
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:26,686
Well, maybe you could
put more water on it.
312
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:29,856
Then it'll look like you accidentally
splashed it washing your hands.
313
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:33,192
Or like I completely hauled off
and whizzed all over myself.
314
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:35,061
I'll get it. Hi, Brock.
315
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,163
Dean, are you safe?
Where are you?
316
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,298
Yeah, we're fine.
We're in the bathroom.
317
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:40,967
Date's over, I'm coming to get you.
318
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:44,504
You heard? I swear,
I didn't kiss her hand or anything.
319
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,806
- But Hank...
- Enter ingenuity, Deano!
320
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:49,842
You've gotta try this.
It feels too good!
321
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:53,146
It feels like somebody with a fever
is yelling at my pants!
322
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,914
- This rules!
- Okay.
323
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,517
Brock, this place is crawling
with guys who hate Dad.
324
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:58,818
I figured as much.
325
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,287
- Stay in the bathroom! Don't move!
- Alright!
326
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,623
Where did everybody go?
327
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:06,292
- When did that happen?
- It beats me.
328
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:10,363
The Monarch is probably waiting in the car,
he's gonna kill us for dawdling.
329
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:13,900
- Pay the bill, I gotta use the can.
- I'm not gonna sit here alone.
330
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,234
I look like an idiot!
331
00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:17,870
You just ate dinner with a guy
dressed exactly like you.
332
00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:20,139
At least I look
like a popular idiot.
333
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:22,074
We need one of these at home!
334
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:24,577
It's better than sitting
sideways on a swing!
335
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:28,181
You have got to try this! Okay?
You know, like, in the pool?
336
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:30,783
- What are they doing here?
- How do I know?
337
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,186
- Gotta tell the boss.
- I'm not going out there.
338
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:35,788
Dude, get outta here,
I gotta take a Count Dooku.
339
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:39,725
I swear...
My pants are on fire! Dean! Dean!
340
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,328
My pants are on fire! Don't!
341
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,832
Dude, stop wailing on my junk!
Throw water on it!
342
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:47,867
No way!
That's what started this!
343
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,503
Well, then take it easy.
Just dab, dab it!
344
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:53,439
Can't believe
it's hard to kill these two.
345
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:56,843
Don't talk to me, if I push any harder
I'm gonna pop a gasket!
346
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:58,311
Pretend you're alone.
347
00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:01,981
- Wait. You hear Phantom Limb?
- Blackout target,
348
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:05,218
Victor, Echo, November, Seven-Niner
is in daddy's lap.
349
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,153
Repeat, in daddy's lap.
350
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,921
Call off Blackout Team.
351
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:13,693
Daddy is going
to put the boys to bed... himself.
352
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,697
Yes, I'm going to kill them.
It's a very simple metaphor.
353
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:18,965
Copy, big daddy.
354
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,434
Quick, just play something.
355
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:24,070
How many Yazz albums
do you have on here?
356
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:27,340
Control to Blackout Team, stand down.
357
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:30,943
Daddy is going to put
the boys to bed himself.
358
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:36,749
Can I ask you a question?
359
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,719
Yes, I belong in here,
I just have a deep voice.
360
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:42,154
- Okay, can I ask you another one?
- Sure.
361
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:45,424
- What color lipstick is that?
- Pink poodle. It's a matte color.
362
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,027
They give a Guild discount.
You're in the Guild, right?
363
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:50,596
- I don't know what the Guild means.
- Tell me about it!
364
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,365
I don't know anymore myself.
365
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,268
So, do you work single,
number two a man?
366
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,537
- I don't really have a guy.
- Well, let me give you my card.
367
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:01,440
I like your look. Now,
I've had it up to here with men
368
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,476
and I think we
might make a nice team.
369
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:04,944
Call me.
370
00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:09,682
Did you see that?
That woman just totally hit on me.
371
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,652
She wasn't hitting on you,
read the card.
372
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:18,024
Oh, my God! I knew it!
She's a supervillain, that is so cool.
373
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:20,826
She thought I was a bad guy.
I am so gonna do this.
374
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,566
Naked.
375
00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:33,439
- Holy crap!
- Whatever it is, we didn't do it.
376
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:35,675
I believe you.
Stay here, don't do anything.
377
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:39,145
- Do you understand?
- Yes, sir. Yes, I understand, sir.
378
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,781
Well, on the up side,
I finally dropped one.
379
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:42,982
Yeah, me too.
380
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,718
Hello, Brock.
381
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:49,288
I was wondering when you'd show up.
I had nothing to do with this.
382
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:53,259
Phantom Nimrod was showing off
in front of my girlfriend. I told him...
383
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,963
- Alright, stay out of this one.
- No, duh? He's in the next stall.
384
00:19:57,096 --> 00:20:00,266
- He has that dickweed boss of yours.
- Don't push it.
385
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:02,101
Nice ass, Samson.
386
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:06,706
Brock Samson, the Venture mule.
387
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,908
Do you always hang out naked
in the men's bathroom?
388
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:10,142
Why did you do it?
389
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,645
Why do men like us do anything?
Because we can.
390
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:16,782
Wrong answer! How would you like
your neck to match your arms?
391
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:19,251
You take me out
and the Guild of Calamitous Intent
392
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,087
will rain down on you en masse.
393
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,723
Every woman you've loved,
every mouth you've kissed,
394
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,926
every hand you've shaken
will fall dead to the ground.
395
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:30,196
I'm aware of that.
So let me give you a warning.
396
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:33,899
If you ever stick your goons
on the Venture family,
397
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,335
my family, I will...
398
00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,804
Yes, of course.
Scary, scary.
399
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,140
It won't happen again.
400
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:45,845
Funny, what we men are capable of
when we fear our women leaving us.
401
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:50,349
Being a man,
it's so much easier to kill than to love.
402
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,451
I'm sorry.
403
00:20:52,651 --> 00:20:56,222
Thank you.
We're not so different, you and I.
404
00:20:56,422 --> 00:21:00,359
Yeah, I don't need another "we're not
so different" speech, I get those a lot.
405
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:01,861
Yes, I'm sure you do.
406
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:05,598
Then shall we just shake hands
and leave as enemies?
407
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:22,214
For a minute there,
408
00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:25,651
I thought you were going to do
your... killer hand thing.
409
00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:27,186
So did I.
410
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:31,490
- What happened in there?
- You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
411
00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:33,759
You wanna get dessert?
412
00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:36,095
I do!
413
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:39,031
- I'm gonna be a supervillain!
- Yeah, I'm gonna be Batman.
414
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:41,167
Go, Team Venture!
415
00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:43,769
Dude, I warned you.
416
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:45,938
I think I just found
my first arch-enemies.
417
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,103
Oh yeah, it's a musical.
You never get to see anything!
418
00:22:17,203 --> 00:22:19,271
Here it is new, Dr. Venture.
419
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:21,640
Don't lift anything for a while
or your arm might fall off.
420
00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:23,542
- Really?
- No, I'm joking, but seriously,
421
00:22:23,642 --> 00:22:26,011
don't lift anything,
cause it could fall off.
422
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:28,481
- Thanks, Billy. What are you doing?
- Nothing.
423
00:22:28,547 --> 00:22:31,951
The hand gets kinda buggy when I use it
for delicate work, it's fine now.
424
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:35,087
- How did you get that thing?
- Excellent question, I've no idea.
425
00:22:35,137 --> 00:22:39,687
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