All language subtitles for The Venture Bros s02e01 Powerless in the Face of Death.eng

? Brother and sister, together
we'll make it through ?

? Someday a spirit will lift you
and take you there ?

? I know you've been hurtin' ?

? But I'll be there waitin'
to be there for you ?

? And I'll be there just helpin'
you out whenever I can ?

? 'Cause ?

? Everybody's free
to feel good ?

? Everybody's free
to feel good ?

? Everybody's free ?

? Everybody's free ?

No! No!

I don't want to go back!
I'm not done finding myself.

- You gotta!
- No!

Please, Brock. I feel amazing!
I never want the night to end.

You can't run away from
your life forever, Doc!

This is my life now, mom.
Deal with it!

You got responsibilities at home.
The bills are stacking up

and you have to deal with
what happened to the boys.

Screw the boys! I want to stay here with
my new family and their feel-good candy.

- You've had your fun, Doc, it's time.
- No, Brock.

No! This is Sky.

We're going to have a child!
Please!

But we're the Venture brothers!

Shouldn't we work together?

What does it take to get rid of you,
you parasite? Tweezers and a match?

I give you life, I give you half my stuff,
I gave you the X-2 for God sake!

What more do you want?! My blood?
Here! Take it!

Take my blood! Or better yet,
just climb right on back inside me!

Go on! Jump back in there.
Come on!

Fine. Never mind. Just let me get
my stuff from the lab and I'll go.

- The lab. Try my lab.
- Mine, yours. What's the difference?

We're the Venture brothers!
What's mine is yours.

Yeah, yeah. You're very generous
with my things. Look, Twiki,

I have some bitty, bitty, bitty big
government contracts I gotta get cracking on!

I'm bitty, bitty, bitty back in action,
and there are bitty, bitty bills to pay.

Super! I could use your help.
I've got most of them complete.

I think there are two left.
Yeah.

The sound that kills and a teleporter.
Dibs on the killing sound.

Dibs? Screw you! Those
are my contracts!

They were addressed to Dr. Venture,
and since you've been gone,

I've received two doctorates.
So I'm a Dr. Venture, too.

- I was only gone a month.
- You can have the teleporter.

- Fine. I'll clean up your mess.
- Great! I'm half done with it.

It's in the manufacturing wing.
I put your staff on the job.

Wait. I have a manufacturing wing?
I have a staff?

I did this.

I let this happen to them.

The boys were in my charge,
and I failed!

It's not your fault.
These things happen.

What is it with you people?

Those children were
cut down in their prime,

and my negligence is to blame.

- Hate me!
- All right. Fine, I hate you.

You hungry? Thinkin' about
making grilled cheese.

I accept your hatred! Now I don't want
to worry you with the particulars,

but I am by trade a necromancer!
You know what that means, right?

- That you have sex with dead people.
- Phile. Necrophile!

A necromancer can
bring the dead

to life!

- He was right.
- No, here. Swifty, switch it.

No, look here. Righty
tighty, lefty loosy.

- I don't know.
- Come on, man. Eyes down here!

Where are you looking?

How the hell did they get in here?!
I padlocked this wing years ago.

Rusty! How ya doing?
Long time no see!

Not again.
Just let me take the ID's out.

Here. Now you can't kill me.
Hobo code, right?

This one always a kidder.
I know him for 30 years!

Swifty, say hi to Rusty.

He was so flipped up,
turned around, and...

Whoever you are,
I don't want any trouble.

Just pack up your little
shantytown and leave.

You really don't remember me?
All those adventures we had?

That little brown boy
saved your life.

This Aztec calendar says
today is your lucky day!

Can we keep him, pa?

- Yeah. No. No, not ringing a bell.
- JJ?

Hey, hon. You ready?

- Just a sec.
- Hello!

- Tell me she works here, too.
- My ride to the marina.

- Well, I'll be seeing you, big brother.
- You're leaving me with these people?

Yep. Off to Spider-Skull Island.
Did you bring your bi-kini?

- One for me and one for Colette.
- Go, Team Venture!

I used to be pretty.

Yeah, but not no more.
Look at my nose.

What the? Are you raping me?!

- No. Well, I was gonna, but...
- Gonna?!

- What the [bleep], King?
- I couldn't get it up.

You felt too much like a girl,
I couldn't get into it!

Wait. Wait a... What?

This isn't even my cell!
What, did you take me to your place?!

Well, I got porn here. It helps.

Hank!

Dean!

Hey, head. On my head.

My apologies. I didn't see you...
Wait, perhaps you could help.

From your helmet I can judge that
you've been here long enough to know...

Yes, pilgrim! I, in life, was a
personal guard to the great Caesar!

Liar! You choked on a popsicle
stick at a Halloween party.

- Tell everyone, why don't you?!
- Everybody knows.

Why do you think you're in hell
'cause you're [bleep]-ing lying.

Well, I'm trying to find the
souls of two innocents.

One, Dean,
has rust-colored hair.

The other, Hank, is tow-headed.

And I ask for...

Teleporter.

Money in the bank. So this baby
is almost finished, right?

Don't quote me on this,

but I believe there was a ring,
and I loved the radio.

- What is he talking about?
- Swifty's a little punchy.

He was a prize fighter
but after his brain went soft,

his wife left him and your father
put him to work here.

My dad's dead.
So, Swifty, you're fired.

Your... Your father died?

Like 20 years ago!
Where have you been?

Here. 20 years?

I'm 45? I haven't even
kissed a girl yet!

My God. That's sad.
Well, you're fired, too.

- So, we just leave?
- Yes.

Where's the?
Where's the door out?

Those uniforms are
Venture property.

Can you leave them in
the bathroom hamper?

From the... government.

Half-done, my ass.
Looks good to me!

I'll tart it up with a coat
of baby blue enamel

and ship her off to the government.
Oh, come on!

No wonder my power bill's
been through the roof.

What now?

I got the stuff. How are
you doing with Phase Two?

Just finishing up.
All right. Here.

They don't hand-write
microdots on the outside.

They use, like, computers.

They don't use photos of
Macaulay Culkin as money

on the outside either.

And they don't have
tiny men in their employ.

Can't believe they
let you keep those.

They think a hobby
aids in rehabilitation.

It's only fair. I mean, Catlady gets to
keep her cats. Beetlebomb, his beetles.

And King Gorilla's got
all those Tarzans.

There.

Fly! Fly, my pet!

Let the beating of your wings
ignite the hurricane

of my glorious second coming!

Tell the world,

The Monarch shall return!

Eagle-1 to Guild Base-5.

Have intercepted message
from Butterfly to Cocoon.

- Ready to transmit data.
- Copy, Tiny Eagle.

Ready to receive.

"Hello, friend. Good news.
Fantastic Caribbean Getaway..."

Idiot! It's printing from memory!

When was the last time
you put paper in?

I told you, you can't run the microwave
and the blow-dryer at the same time.

They're on the same circ...

What the hell are you doing?
How did you even do that?

- Don't do that!
- Doc?

Lab!

- Doc!
- My [bleep]-ing brother is an idiot!

- Should I ask?
- Teleporter. This is all I need.

Your legs are sticking out of the TV.
Where's the rest of you?

I can't tell, hold on.
Wait, did you hear that?

- I just threw something.
- Wait, do it again.

- No.
- Okay, just a sec, I'll...

I just put my hand in sludge.
Oh, don't tell me!

I think the rest of me
is in the bathroom.

My clock is blinking twelve!
I think the power went out!

- What are you doing?
- I like digging.

Can't a man leave his home with a
shovel without an inquisition?

No. Dad, you have
to let them go.

I can't. Sweetie,
I can feel them.

They are between worlds.
They can be raised!

It's so simple. I just need
their bodies and their souls.

But I can't find their souls!
How do you lose a soul?

- They're not like car keys.
- Stop it!

- You don't simply misplace them.
- Stop it!

I don't even want to think
about them as zombies!

No, no, sweetie.

Zombies are animated
bodies without souls.

This is a regular resurrection.
Stop crying, Pumpkin.

I've done this
hundreds of times.

David Blaine, Evel Knievel,
both daddy's clients.

As was Ronald Reagan
till he bounced a check.

- I'm gonna throw up.
- Pumpkin, no.

This is routine!
I just raise this sword and go...

Rise and be one with the living!

It's all very humdrum.
Let me get the door.

Now, don't touch any of this.

You could accidentally make
the cats huge or something.

Yes, I heard you the first time.

Milkshake.

While it is comforting to see my legs,
it's not really fixing anything.

I don't know, Doc.
I'm just trying to help.

Maybe if we put all of your
parts back in the machine...

- Right. Like in that Jeff Goldblum movie.
- Yeah. See?

We still can't find my right side,
which I'm now certain is outdoors.

How come?

Because it's raining on a third of me.
I'm freezing.

I discovered my nipples
work as a team.

Come here.
Feel this crab eye I got going.

I believe you.

No. Really. Feel it!
It's like a pencil eraser.

- We have a door, Orpheus.
- Oh, no!

You, too, are trapped
between worlds!

- What have I done?!
- Relax.

- Doc did that to himself.
- My stupid brother did this.

I have destroyed your life!

I have brought your sons back

as soulless zombies!

So, is everyone clear on
what his or her job is?

Tigerrific? You look pensive.

There's no way I can
tear the gates down.

I'm not even close to strong enough!

Don't sell yourself short, man.

I once watched you cleave an
eyewitness news van in twain!

All costume. I don't have any
powers without that thing.

No powers? I thought you were,
like, half tiger or something.

- No!
- Raised by tigers then?

Like Moogli?

Mowgli! And that was wolves.
But still no.

You know, I could pull the gate off.
Kinda wasted as lookout anyway.

Sure you're strong enough?

I don't want you talkin' about,
"That's a gorilla suit."

- I can do it.
- Great! Then Tigerrific's on lookout.

Or can't you see without
your tiger helmet?

So, if no one has any questions...
Question? Mr. Monday.

What exactly will my title be for
this new criminal syndicate of ours?

Title? What? I don't know!

I want to be President
of Calendars!

Whatever, crazy.
Okay, anyone else?

This is going to be
so Monday-licious!

Anyone not totally retarded?

White Noise?

This organization ain't gonna
be racially mixed, is it?

I can't allow my pure white
blood to be... muddied.

Do you even have blood? I mean,
you're, like, made out of static.

- How do you even know you're white?
- I was white once

before my tragic life-altering
television repair accident.

Fine. Idiot! Can we move on?

- So, right at lockdown tonight, we...
- Can we please wait till Monday?

No! God, you're worse
than my old henchmen!

Flames filled the crock-pit.
We all knew the score.

Crimeodile hits the eject,
saving me.

He was like that,
his henchmen always came first.

Anyway, Captain Sunshine kept on his tail,
kept on it, ship goes down,

Captain Sunshine takes
out one more evil doer.

Me, big deal. I'm out of a job, right?
Just like that. Sorry, Charlie.

I think we've all been there.
Thank you for sharing that, Charlie.

Does anyone else have anything to...
Yes? You.

Yeah. Gary, former
henchman, scullion class.

I could totally relate to Charlie's deal,
but, Charlie, don't give up hope, man.

Escape pods, got your
secret parachutes...

I wouldn't be surprised
if you go home tonight

and find a message on your
machine from Crimeodile.

Gentlemen, please. Gary, was it?

Gary, the point of this group, is not
the enable the henching habit,

but to learn how to
hench for ourselves.

I hear what you're saying.
Instead of being henchmen,

we should become
supervillains ourselves.

Now, that's not at all...

Like in a beehive!
When the queen dies.

One of the workers eats, like, a
whole bunch of royal jelly

and he morphs into
the new queen.

No, gentlemen! Don't listen to...

I even have the Monarch's
crown someplace.

I can call myself "The Viceroy!"

- I like that!
- Can I hench for you?!

No!

That's why I've been looking
everywhere for their souls.

Because I accidentally
resurrected their bodies!

Wait. You saw their bodies?

Saw them?!
I made them a [bleep]-ing milkshake!

- Nice. Way to go, Brock.
- Must have been that power surge.

Who is your grief counselor?
Mother Teresa?

How can you be so
nonchalant about this?

My stupid talismans and I have
made movie monsters of your sons!

I don't deserve to wear them!

It glows!

Your sons' souls are near!

Okay, why don't you go home
and take a shower?

- You're starting to hallucinate.
- No shower for Byron Orpheus!

I can feel them, hear them.

Your boys' souls are
in this very room!

Will you stop with the soul crap?
There's a scientific explanation for this.

They are speaking to me.
Their voices like thunder!

It's Dean! Speak to me, son!

- Will ya tell him already?
- What, and miss this? No way.

Yes, I hear them!
Dean loves you!

He understands and forgives you!

But Hank, no, Hank is quite upset!
Rage, I can hear his rage!

He calls you a crumb-bum!

Or maybe a crampon!
It's hard to hear him.

Isn't a crampon a little
hook for mountain climbing?

- He's definitely calling me a crumb-bum.
- Here!

It comes from this machine.

What is this machine?

That machine? Nothing.

It makes robots or something.
Oh, no!

Have I made scary boy robots?!

Oh, I should never
have played God!

Doc, stop jerking the poor guy
around and just tell him.

He's getting ectoplasm
everywhere.

This isn't a request, King.

You and your Guild can go screw!
Ten years of payin' dues

and what did they do to keep me
out of here when I got caught?

Oh, what could we do?

You eviscerated and sodomized
Vince Neil on national television!

I only sodomized half of him!

They wanted The Surreal Life.
KG gave it to him.

I'd just hate for you to be
in the shower one day

when out of the shadows
steps a man

with a smuggled-in molecular
destabilizer and zap!

What was once your penis

is now a tasteful reproduction Noguchi
coffee table by Herman Miller.

- I don't respond to threats, Limb.
- Of course you don't.

Well, they don't call you
King Gorilla for nothing, do they?

And what king is complete
without a queen?

That's a cake.

But what's inside it, I wonder?

Marzipan?

Tarz-ipan.

Slow down.
What about the zombies?

Now, I call those "clone slugs."

Grew those years ago from
nail clippings, I think.

Anyway, after the slugs have
been activated, that machine...

- Purgatory.
- Whatever.

That computer feeds all their
nocturnally recorded memory synapses.

And memories, hopes, and dreams?
Their immortal soul!

You're killing me with that crap.
Let me finish.

That computer feeds synaptic
data to their incubation beds.

That information is supplemented
with basic knowledge

that my dad recorded for me,
so I didn't have to go to school.

And that is why I didn't lose
my virginity until I was 24.

- That is awful!
- You didn't even see her. It was horr...

No, it is awful that you
would do this to your boys!

- Please! You do this crap every day.
- That's different.

Why? Because you call it
by a different name?

Church-lab, souls-synapses,
purgatory-computer, get over yourself.

- I must lie down.
- If it makes you feel better,

the ones you knew weren't the originals.
We've been through this...

- How many times, Brock?
- This'll be fourteen.

Fourteen times.

We had a gas leak that time.
The silent killer.

Then this other time...

I remember that.

That was when we
both grew the...

Oh, God! I know, I know.
What were we thinking?

Oh, that wasn't half as bad as
when I had those hair plugs.

What is that? A royal jelly donut
you got there, you big queen?

24? Get out of town!
Is that you?

Come here, you big lug!

All right, all right.
No touching.

I can't believe that's what you
look like under your costume.

Hilarious! You look like
Seinfeld with a unibrow.

- Who knew?
- You should talk, all Kevin Smith.

Oh, and here's a tip.

A beard is not a substitute for a jaw line,
no matter how you trim it.

You haven't changed,
same old 24!

- This is weird.
- Totally!

When is the Monarch going
to bust out already?

282, 283.

Okay, lockdown, gentlemen!

- Close gates!
- Closing gates.

- What the?
- Hey, Monarch!

What the hell are you
doing out of your cell?!

You assholes! Tonight!
It's supposed to be tonight!

What the?
What is this, Liquid Plumber?

It's that orange powder we use
when someone throws up.

I got hit with a
tiny little man.

Monday! There's my
President of Calendars!

Where's the big diversion?
Hello?!

Septapus! White Noise!
What are you doing?

Remember those guards you were
supposed to take out? Guess what?!

King!

Anytime you feel like
making a move, buddy!

Et tu, King Gorilla?

I'm sorry, I can't.

It's a Guild thing.
Phantom Limb said...

Phantom Limb?! He's doing this?!
Listen to me, King!

King! This has nothing
to do with the Guild!

He stole my girlfriend! He just wants me
out of the picture permanently!

- Come on!
- King! King!

A month in solitary
ought to chill you out.

You chicken-[bleep] bastards!

This isn't the end of this!
The Monarch will return!

You will...

Come on! The rest will
be here any minute.

King, this is hardly the time...

Oh, my God, that's...

The pipes empty out
a mile from here.

I won't be able to
hold them off for long.

What changed your mind?

Believe it or not... love.

It was there in your eyes when
you spoke of your girlfriend.

I always thought you were a schmuck,
but what kind of monster would I be

to stand in the way of love?

Go find her. Get her back.

And when you do, you love her
and you never let go!

It's all too much.

I... I... What am I going
to tell my daughter?

Tell her what I tell everybody
when this crap happens.

- The boys never die.
- But they did!

They shed their mortal coil
as a snake sheds its skin.

Stop it! They are Hank and Dean.
They have all the same memories,

same annoying tendencies,
same everything.

Look, if you have a clumsy child,
you make them wear a helmet.

If you have death-prone children,

you keep a few clones
of them in your lab.

Speak of the devils!
Their half-formed ears must be burning.

Brock, you should put
them back in the oven.

I hate touching them.
They feel like giant...

Stretch Armstrongs.

Split between life and death.

The universe weeps for them.

Hank, you are never to call your
father a crumb-bum in front of company.

And where are your manners?
What do you have to say to Dr. Orpheus?

Go, Team Venture!

Thank God you guys are here.

I thought the whole plan got...

What?

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