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1
00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:03,837
- 911?
- Please, Rocky is killing people!
2
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,205
- It's Rocky!
- Sir, calm down.
3
00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:07,274
- Now, where are you?
- It's a big movie theater on Main.
4
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:08,876
Oh, my God, Rocky has a knife!
5
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:10,043
You're watching "Rocky"?
6
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,579
- Rocky what? Rocky 4 with Ivan Drago?
- Horror!
7
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:16,884
Another baffling mystery successfully
solved by the best family in the universe.
8
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,352
Whatever, keep it moving.
9
00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:20,487
These shoes are wreaking havoc
on my heel spurs.
10
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,956
I just can't believe
the Phantom of the Cineplex
11
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,858
was Old Man Johnson all along.
12
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,394
What I can't figure out is why he did it.
13
00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:29,897
Apparently to screw your father out of
yet another commission
14
00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:34,034
because you don't need a $100,000
spectral analytical ectoplasmic locator
15
00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:36,336
to catch a jackass in a rubber mask!
16
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,040
Doc, you okay?
What the hell is that?
17
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,308
It's nothing, Brock.
18
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:42,843
Probably a hernia... I've had it forever.
19
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,345
It'll pop back in in a few hours,
always does.
20
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,481
Oh, Doc, what the f...
21
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,149
Get back on the X-1.
22
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:50,984
We're taking you to a hospital, stat!
23
00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:53,554
Brock, will you stop worrying
for once and...
24
00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,393
This is serious.
25
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:00,727
You can say that again.
26
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,296
Dad's becoming a real fatty.
27
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:06,266
No, Hank!
I think Pop is... pregnant!
28
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:14,341
Medic!
29
00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,277
What's this?
Another one?
30
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:19,379
Were you guys at
"The Rocky Horror Show"?
31
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:23,050
Yeah. Could you please help him?
32
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,853
Orderly. Put him in O.R. Three.
33
00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:29,056
The O.R. is all full, doctor,
and they just keep coming!
34
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,424
The Cineplex just called.
35
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,426
They found a few more
in the projection booth!
36
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:33,894
Okay.
37
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:36,196
You'll have to put him in Maternity.
38
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:37,898
Maternity?
39
00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:39,867
You weren't kidding, Deano.
40
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,969
Pop really is having a baby.
41
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:45,072
I think I need a cigarette.
42
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,912
I'm sorry, sir, medical personnel only
beyond this point.
43
00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:54,314
I'm staying with him.
I go where he goes.
44
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,318
You must be his partner then.
45
00:01:58,418 --> 00:01:59,953
Not really, it's more like I work for him.
46
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,555
Wait a minute! No!
47
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,991
Look, you two, I'm dying in here.
48
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:06,093
Have you heard anything
from Dr. Girlfriend?
49
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:09,296
We've been calling her every hour,
and we keep getting her machine.
50
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,731
Did you try the cellular phone?
51
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,734
Yeah, we followed your instructions
to the letter. It's just that...
52
00:02:13,807 --> 00:02:15,498
Have you destroyed
the giant cocoon headquarters?
53
00:02:15,609 --> 00:02:16,389
Not yet.
54
00:02:16,497 --> 00:02:18,038
Have you sent the charred remains
of Wonderboy
55
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:19,473
to his beloved Captain Sunshine?
56
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,908
- Yes.
- Rewound and returned
57
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,542
the director's cut of Working Girl?
58
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:23,911
We tried, but...
59
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:27,314
Unleashed the herpes-smeared sexbots
upon the traitorous members of the Guild?
60
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,249
- Yep.
- Filled Phantom Limb's garage
61
00:02:29,367 --> 00:02:31,836
with clingy, static-charged
Styrofoam packing peanuts?
62
00:02:31,959 --> 00:02:32,619
No.
63
00:02:32,704 --> 00:02:35,555
Sent apology letters to each
of my sponsored Ugandan foster children?
64
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,624
- Check!
- Have you...
65
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:40,027
killed the Venture brothers?
66
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:42,930
I don't know.
67
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,198
It might be nice to have
a little brother or sister.
68
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:46,867
How are we supposed
to go on adventures
69
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,069
with some little crumb-snatcher
tagging along?
70
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,771
And how's Brock gonna look all cool
71
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,874
if he has to wear one of those harnesses
on his chest?
72
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,443
Oh, God, it's Rocky!
No! Not again!
73
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:59,246
Well... has Pop... had it yet?
74
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:00,647
Not yet, Dean.
75
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,416
Don't you worry, though.
76
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,318
Your dad's a...
77
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,353
tough little dude.
78
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,188
He's gonna pull through.
79
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,290
Listen, there's no use in you two
hanging around.
80
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:12,459
I want you to take a taxi
back to the compound.
81
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,128
I called Dr. Orpheus.
He's gonna look after you.
82
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,899
Who wants pizza rolls?
83
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,434
Thanks, Dr. O.
84
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,402
Hey, what's the green stuff?
85
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:24,538
That's chai tea, Hank.
86
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,674
I've been receiving a steady shipment of it
ever since I saved the emperor
87
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:30,410
from an army of clay samurai warriors.
88
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:31,712
Oh. It's good!
89
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:34,915
I think it tastes a bit like Play-doh,
but Pumpkin adores it.
90
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,584
Is, uh... she coming home tonight?
91
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:39,019
Wouldn't you like to know.
92
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:42,122
She's attending
an electronic music recital.
93
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,091
She will be arriving home near midnight,
94
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:48,028
I suspect smelling mysteriously of cloves.
95
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:49,696
Do you know when we can go back home?
96
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:53,400
Mr. Samson seemed vague about that,
but it could be quite awhile.
97
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:55,402
So, I suggest that you get comfy.
98
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:58,071
There is a television
behind the El Greco.
99
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:01,375
Sadly, the remote has vanished
from the material sphere,
100
00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:03,310
so it's stuck on Animal Planet.
101
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,846
Thanks, Dr. O.
I'm sure we'll be fine.
102
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:12,586
Good night, you princes of Venture,
you kings of sleepovers.
103
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:16,757
Well, I have good news.
104
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,559
- Oh, thank...
- And bad news.
105
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:21,328
You son of a bitch!
106
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:22,763
Okay, fine.
107
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,531
Hit me with it.
Don't soft soap me.
108
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,033
Give it to me straight.
I can take it.
109
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,702
The good news is
the operation was a success.
110
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:31,805
We were able to remove the
entire tumor from your midsection.
111
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,540
See, you big worrywart.
112
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,142
What's the bad news?
113
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:36,343
I...
114
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,879
Oh, jeez...
This is really hard.
115
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,281
Oh, God.
It's the big "C," isn't it?
116
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,650
You did this to me!
All that secondhand smoke!
117
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,585
You should be the one in this bed, mister!
118
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:48,155
No, no, no, Dr. Venture.
The tumor was benign.
119
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:49,656
It's just that...
120
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:52,926
Well, uh, we cannot find it.
121
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,562
What do you mean you can't find it?
122
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,365
Well, we took it out, and I don't know.
123
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:02,402
When I finished sewing you up,
I turned around, and it was just gone.
124
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,637
Gone.
125
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:06,006
Well... I want a second opinion.
126
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:08,175
Oh, wait... I'm a doctor!
127
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,910
I can give myself one!
128
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,412
You suck, and I'm leaving.
129
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,714
This is how it's always gonna be.
130
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:15,782
What do you mean?
131
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:19,319
Now that Dad has a brand-new baby,
he's not gonna want us hanging around.
132
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,754
I'll bet he just leaves us here.
133
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:23,023
You're crazy.
Dad would never do that.
134
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,425
Well, I, for one,
ain't gonna stick around to find out.
135
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:26,793
I'm out of here.
136
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:30,797
I'm not gonna play second banana fiddle
to some stupid ol' baby!
137
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,433
Well, not me.
I'm staying right here.
138
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,103
I'll be sleeping in a room
right next to Triana.
139
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,538
And then she'll hear, like,
thunder or something,
140
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,941
and she'll run into my room
all scared and stuff.
141
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:46,446
And I'll be, like, "Hush, my darling.
It's just ionized air molecules expanding."
142
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:49,583
And she'll be, like, "Oh, hold me."
And then I'll, like...
143
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:52,986
Dude, if we stay here,
that means that we'll be Dr. Orpheus' kids.
144
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,188
And that means Triana will be your sister.
145
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:57,691
And that means you two will have
extra-retard babies.
146
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,660
I never thought of that.
147
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,963
All right, I'm with you.
148
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,899
The medical board
will be getting one stern little letter
149
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,335
from Dr. Thaddeus S. Venture,
I can assure you.
150
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,170
I can have quite the poison pen when I...
151
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,638
- What?
- What?
152
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:15,375
Hey, buddy,
you didn't happen to see a, uh...
153
00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:18,044
experimental supersonic aircraft, did you?
154
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,913
Oh, you're kidding me!
155
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:23,683
Silver... about 100 feet long. No?
156
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,186
Nuclear engines...
157
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,521
No?
158
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:29,956
Pumpkin, you're up early,
159
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,792
and you've changed
out of your jam-jams into
160
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:36,129
the clothes you wore last night.
161
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,598
How frugal of you.
Did you just get home?
162
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:41,334
Kim was totally plastered,
and then we were like...
163
00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,537
Sweetie, let me love you.
164
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,205
Don't make this hard for us.
165
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,474
Now we have the Venture twins
staying with us
166
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:50,177
and they're not in the den.
167
00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:52,479
I sense something is amiss.
168
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:56,550
Is there something else
you forgot to tell Daddy?
169
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,684
They ran away.
170
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:02,422
They said they were going to the city
to become famous lion-tamers.
171
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:04,925
Mr. Venture trusted me
with his offspring.
172
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,359
I have failed him!
173
00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:08,662
For, even now, they could be in peril!
174
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,163
Remember when I ran away?
175
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,898
I just went to Rachel's house.
176
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:15,035
So try not to embarrass them... for me.
177
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:18,705
Don't worry, Pumpkin,
it is not my intention to shame them.
178
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,340
I just have to keep them safe.
179
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,609
I will be their shadow,
180
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:26,246
nay, their unseen guardian angel!
181
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:29,549
Pumpkin, get me my cloak.
182
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:30,984
Why don't you wear the...
183
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,719
All right, fine.
184
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:36,523
Get me my blue windbreaker!
185
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:50,971
Dude, look on that mountain!
186
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,806
A haunted mansion.
187
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,107
So what?
188
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,775
A haunted mansion!
189
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,844
Ghosts and evil scientists and stuff.
190
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,512
What? Am I hearing things?
191
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,214
Am I all alone out here?
192
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,217
Didn't you just feel the wind of freedom
ripping through your sweater vest?
193
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,287
Can't you hear the wind calling,
little miss, little miss can't-be-wrong?
194
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:09,522
We're free.
We are the future.
195
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,291
You're still thinking like the old Dean.
196
00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:14,194
You're right.
Screw that junky old mansion!
197
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:16,630
Boy, the world better watch out for us
198
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:19,499
because we're on the fast road
to now-town!
199
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,668
Haunted castles!
Who needs 'em?
200
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,903
- Not me!
- Not me!
201
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,538
Go Team...
202
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:27,974
- Guys?
- Brothers?
203
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:30,610
I'll tell you what the problem is,
204
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,979
they just give Ph.D.s out in India.
205
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,115
The medical schools
over there are like Apex Tech...
206
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:36,356
with bigger bugs.
207
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:37,884
You should have stayed
at the hospital, Doc.
208
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,586
Just put me on the bed.
209
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,288
And bring up the big TV.
210
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,156
Oh, and can you fluff up the husband?
211
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:44,357
There you go.
212
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,159
Here's the clicker,
here's H.E.L.P.eR.'s remote.
213
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,395
I'm gonna go downstairs,
make you some soup.
214
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,096
What would I do without you, Brock?
215
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,398
You would have died.
216
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:54,868
Oh, Brock, don't forget the big TV
when you come back up.
217
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,970
And maybe a couple
of my special aspirins
218
00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:01,641
and some applesauce,
ginger ale, a couple more blankets,
219
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:06,880
the New York Times,
Britney records...
220
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,948
What the?
221
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,583
Doc, we've got a problem.
222
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,086
I want you to stay put.
There's someone in the compound.
223
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,723
Yeah, what about the big TV?
224
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,766
What'll it be, sugar?
225
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:31,171
The flask of sugar seems to be filled,
but your concern has been noted.
226
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,906
Now, please stand to the side.
227
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,674
You gonna order anything or not?
228
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:38,278
I made the purchase of
this Homeboy figurine
229
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:41,047
from the vending machines
in your sitting room.
230
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,549
I've had a long day.
231
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,417
You can either order some food or leave.
232
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:45,719
Fine.
233
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,455
Now, let me see.
234
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:52,892
No, no.
235
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:54,828
I will have a tonic.
236
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:57,497
- What kind of tonic?
- Moxie.
237
00:09:57,864 --> 00:09:59,032
We don't have that.
238
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,500
Birch beer.
239
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,835
Nope.
240
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,336
The pancakes, please.
241
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,238
And, yes, I know what time it is.
242
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:08,274
I'll be having them for lunch.
Pretty cool, right?
243
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:09,743
And you?
244
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,945
And the gentleman will be having
the lamb dinner
245
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:13,880
and a side of whatever disco fries are.
246
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,382
Mr. Pibb?
247
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:17,417
Tell me you have Mr. Pibb.
248
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,387
Grape, orange, or cola?
249
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:22,922
Grape.
250
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,558
That waitress was totally into me.
251
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:28,061
She knows a good deal
when she sees it.
252
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:31,598
I might let her kick the tires
of the old Hank machine.
253
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:32,932
Me, ah!
254
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:34,667
I got a girl back home.
255
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,236
So you can have her.
256
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:39,339
Hey. Check that yokel with long hair.
257
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,775
Oh, I think she's cute.
258
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,449
Hello, Rusty.
259
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:50,583
Daddy?
260
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,318
What are you doing in Mommy's womb?
261
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:57,991
I came to tell you, son,
there is another Venture.
262
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,626
Why are you talking like Yoda?
263
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,495
This is your dream, Rusty,
you tell me.
264
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,105
Hello, Rusty.
265
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,306
Who the hell are you?
266
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,442
Don't you recognize me, Rusty?
267
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:17,377
It's been a while, I know.
268
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,979
I get it, you're supposed
to be my father, right?
269
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,781
- I'm still dreaming.
- This is no dream.
270
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:23,650
Fine... hallucination... whatever.
271
00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:25,251
I must be still woozy from
the painkillers, though.
272
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,560
I got your head all wrong.
273
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:28,455
Forty-three years ago,
274
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,256
you tried to kill me.
275
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:31,891
Forty-three years ago I wasn't even...
276
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:33,359
I'll give you a hint.
277
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,429
We used to share a rather cramped
little one-bedroom
278
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,198
down on Mommy Street.
279
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,866
Is that my oven?
280
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:43,036
And that bit there...
That's the capacitator from my robot!
281
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,004
Just what is going on here, mister?
282
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,373
Consider these bits of crap I've stolen,
283
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,843
the first small installments
of what you owe me, Rusty.
284
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:54,013
That's okay, Rusty,
285
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,015
I've waited this long.
286
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:59,085
I can wait a few minutes more.
287
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:02,322
Hey, boy.
288
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:04,023
Why don't you get a haircut?
289
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,059
You hear me, boy?
290
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:09,062
Are you deaf,
or are you just a faggot?
291
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:13,500
May I suggest that you two gentlemen
take your local color elsewhere?
292
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,401
You're drawing undesirable attention
to my presence.
293
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,971
What are you gonna do about it?
294
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,639
You're wearing pantyhose.
295
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,574
- What?
- He is...
296
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,510
'cause he's a gay-boy.
297
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,845
Consider this your final warning.
298
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,748
You do not know the risk you are taking.
299
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:32,452
For a whisper from my lips
could open your mind
300
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:36,155
to a world of arcane tortures.
301
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,857
Faggot.
302
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,528
Check, please.
303
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,899
Brock, come in, Brock.
304
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:48,268
Your beloved Brock
won't be saving you this time.
305
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,702
I've already seen to that.
306
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:53,273
Go ahead, try and hurt me, mister,
because you're not getting in here.
307
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,109
Those walls are solid ste...
308
00:12:58,077 --> 00:13:00,179
Oh, you just don't get it,
do you, Rusty?
309
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:01,848
You can't escape me.
310
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,783
I know all your tricks.
311
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,503
Do you know that you were doing fifteen
on a sixty-five-mile-per-hour highway?
312
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,004
We did not, officer.
313
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:27,440
But if you call our father,
he should be able to clear all this up.
314
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,575
Dean!
315
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,209
We don't have a father anymore.
316
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,978
All right, what's going on here?
317
00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:33,446
And what are those?
318
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,881
Hover-bikes.
319
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:38,651
Where do kids like you get hover-bikes,
selling weed to classmates, huh?
320
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,788
Get 'em hooked early, right?
Nothing like a steady customer.
321
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:45,458
Which reminds me,
shouldn't you boys be in school right now?
322
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,793
We don't go to school.
323
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,394
We have a bed that
teaches us everything.
324
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,530
Oh, I get it now...
325
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:51,798
dust head.
326
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,600
Let's get off the floating chopper.
327
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:55,268
He's not a dusty head.
328
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,171
We really do have beds equipped
with audio-suggestive learning aids.
329
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,139
Dabbling in super-science, eh?
330
00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:04,077
All right, you two,
I know just the place for boys like you.
331
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,351
- Oh, dear.
- Help us!
332
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,894
- Who the hell are you?
- Who else?
333
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:25,131
I'm your brother, Rusty.
Your twin brother.
334
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,766
That's impossible. I don't have a...
335
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,601
You sucker-punched me in the womb.
336
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,503
I've been inside you all your life,
337
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,973
watching, listening, planning, waiting.
338
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,742
You jerry-rigged my body.
339
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:38,411
That's why I have all these blackouts.
I thought it was the pills.
340
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,079
Your body's a mess.
341
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,948
It's become absolutely uninhabitable.
342
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:44,283
Yeah, well, I don't remember
asking you to live in me.
343
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,785
Wait a minute!
344
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:48,588
You're why I've been having
all these F-ed up dreams.
345
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:51,190
You're probably why
I lost my hair, too, aren't you?
346
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,925
You stole my hair!
347
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,696
You're probably wondering
why you're here.
348
00:14:57,296 --> 00:15:00,733
You're here because you done
[bleep] up too many times!
349
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:03,036
You think you're hot [bleep]
in a champagne glass,
350
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:06,072
but you're really
cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!
351
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:08,107
And if you keep up
like you been doing,
352
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,509
this is where you're headed.
353
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:11,778
That's funny to you, right?!
354
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,513
'Cause you're so [bleep] bad?
355
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:14,847
I know your type.
356
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:17,650
You think I'll just get me a costume,
rip off the neighborhood kids.
357
00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:20,753
Next thing you know,
you've got a jet shaped like a skull
358
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,188
with lasers on the front.
359
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,656
This is totally gay.
360
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,658
What?
Think this is gay, huh?
361
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,127
Is that what you [bleep] said,
you scrawny piece of [bleep]?
362
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:29,896
Oh, this isn't gay.
363
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,397
But King Gorilla over there is.
364
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:34,867
And I'll bet he just can't wait to snap off
a piece of your [bleep] in his [bleep].
365
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,703
You! Get up!
366
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,337
I said get the [bleep] up!
367
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,806
- What's your name?
- Dean Vent...
368
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,542
Your name is bitch!
And I own you.
369
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:43,910
You're property!
370
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,712
And when I'm tired of having sex
371
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:49,048
with every hole God drilled
in your slender frame...
372
00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:50,783
King Gorilla, you got a cigarette?
373
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:52,418
There.
374
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:55,822
I just sold you for a cigarette
and I don't smoke!
375
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:59,358
Holy [bleep]!
You're Dean [bleep] Venture!
376
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,828
King, I gotta buy my bitch back.
Here's your cigarette.
377
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,296
[Bleep] you. Give me a dollar.
378
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,066
H.E.L.P.eR!
379
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,102
H.E.L.P.eR., listen to me.
380
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,338
Doc's in trouble.
I need you to drive my car.
381
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,176
You can fly the X-1,
but you don't know how to drive stick?
382
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:19,812
That's great, now punch it.
383
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,347
I'll navigate.
384
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,517
No, H.E.L.P.eR., it's the...
It's the right one and...
385
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,085
It's a pedal!
386
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:27,487
It's on the floor!
387
00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:31,924
Reverse, H.E.L.P.eR., reverse!
388
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,361
Okay, right.
389
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,729
Right, H.E.L.P.eR.
390
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:38,397
No, my right!
391
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:42,034
I wish I had a program
like this when I was young,
392
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:45,338
someone to tell me to knock off
all the evil science [bleep].
393
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:47,473
Man, I was just like you.
394
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:48,941
Then one [bleep] day,
395
00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:52,245
a vat of super-heated [bleep] plasma
blew up in my [bleep] face...
396
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,313
What the [bleep] are you boys doing
in the big house?
397
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,116
Well, our dad had a baby,
so we ran away.
398
00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:59,418
And then we got arrested
for not speeding enough.
399
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:00,953
You shouldn't even be alive.
400
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:03,589
- Huh?
- I put out a hit on you.
401
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:04,924
Super-sorry.
402
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,059
But, you know, I'm in
mother-[bleep] prison here.
403
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,761
My life is [bleep].
404
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:10,229
Dr. Girlfriend left me.
405
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,764
Why would you want to kill us?
406
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,466
Because she needs her space!
407
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,767
Like I didn't give her space!
408
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,569
She had the whole [bleep] cocoon!
409
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,504
Now I'm gonna show you all
what it feels like
410
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,807
to be a victim of supervillainy.
411
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,508
Give me your shoes.
412
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:24,677
I said get those
mother-[bleep] shoes off
413
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,512
and throw them here!
414
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,815
Now, give me your wallet.
415
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:30,650
There!
How does that feel?
416
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,852
- How does what feel?
- I just took your wallet!
417
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,720
Still want to be a supervillain?
418
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,657
Well, I do now.
You have my wallet.
419
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:40,860
Stand back, or so help me,
I'll blast you to kingdom come!
420
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,328
Please.
421
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,431
You couldn't blast me to kingdom
three-feet-from-here with that thing.
422
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:49,635
But this, on the other hand,
will incinerate you where you stand.
423
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:53,039
Nice try, junior,
but I know you're bluffing.
424
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:54,740
I never got that stupid thing to work.
425
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:58,411
You, no. But I did.
426
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:02,849
You see, I was meant to be the son
of the late, great Jonas Venture.
427
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:05,585
I'm superior to you in every way.
428
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,553
Every way?
Check the mirror.
429
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,789
You look like a talking fist
sticking out of an oven.
430
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:12,458
You stole my life from me.
431
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:13,960
Well, guess what, Rusty,
432
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,629
I'm taking yours,
and I'm claiming my birthright.
433
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,999
The Venture empire is mine!
434
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:51,597
I'm in for murder!
435
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,399
You boys don't want to end up in here.
436
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,001
This place is full of [bleep] animals.
437
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:57,503
I don't mean King Gorilla, Hank.
438
00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:00,273
I mean, this place will chew you up
and spit you out.
439
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,608
No, I'm not talking
about Mecha Mouth, Hank.
440
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,844
Oh, this was a big mistake.
441
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,178
[Bleep]-A, right!
442
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:07,346
This is all wrong.
443
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,415
You boys are the [bleep]
Venture brothers!
444
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,984
You've had your little adventure,
go the hell home.
445
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:13,185
[Bleep] that [bleep]!
446
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,454
Hank Venture,
what is wrong with you?
447
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,924
You're changing into
an extra-bad person.
448
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:21,494
Do you even know how many baby angels
you just killed by saying that?
449
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,229
Oh, my glory!
450
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,497
You're right!
451
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,165
What's happening to us?
452
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:28,000
We searched for freedom,
453
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,535
And it landed us in jail.
454
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,504
I bet Dad's worried sick.
455
00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:34,307
And Brock... He loves you, Hank,
I just know it.
456
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,108
Oh, this is just gay.
457
00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:38,544
Look, I gotta get back to yelling
at regular kids, all right?
458
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,726
Brock! Wait!
459
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,127
Don't!
460
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,862
He tried to kill you, Doc.
461
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:58,531
I know, but...
462
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,666
He's my... brother.
463
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,369
You're in shock, Doc.
Let me handle this.
464
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,004
Brock, seriously.
465
00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,872
Samson, I'm giving you an order.
466
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:08,341
You're my bodyguard, right?
467
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:09,809
Well, he came out of my body.
468
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,278
So, you'd be violating your primary...
469
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,914
Yeah, yeah, I get it, Doc.
470
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:20,152
Looks like botched attempted fratricide
runs in the family.
471
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:21,787
So, does this mean we're even now?
472
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:24,056
Oh, not by a long shot, Rusty.
473
00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:27,793
I think you owe me something
for forty-three years of hell.
474
00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:30,529
Fine. Whatever. I'll give you the old
Venture compound on Spider-Skull Island.
475
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,932
Just, please,
stop calling me Rusty.
476
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:35,167
I haven't been called that
since I was out of college.
477
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:36,369
Wait a minute.
478
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,070
What do I call you?
479
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,638
Jonas.
480
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,775
Jonas Venture, Junior.
481
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,310
Hello!
482
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,212
My apologies, Dr. Venture.
483
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:49,415
I'm loathe to intrude
while you're entertaining...
484
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:50,983
guests,
485
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:53,285
but there's a matter that needs
your urgent attention.
486
00:20:53,519 --> 00:20:54,687
What is...
487
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:57,323
That's Doc's deformed twin brother
he absorbed in the womb
488
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:59,959
who's come back for revenge,
but now they've made up, so...
489
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,331
Fine, take the busted up chifforobe.
490
00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:07,333
That's fair.
And you can have the X-2.
491
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,735
The boat? What do I need the boat for?
492
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,637
Okay, take it easy.
What else do you want?
493
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,672
Do you want Dean?
You can have Dean.
494
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:16,509
He can carry you on his back
like Masterblaster.
495
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:18,277
What's with the low-speed chase?
496
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,012
Come now, Mr. Venture,
497
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:22,181
I think your boys have suffered
enough embarrassment
498
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:26,919
what with being bailed out of prison
by the rumble-bumble likes of us.
499
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:30,256
I figure letting the boys drive ahead
might return an ounce
500
00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:33,025
of their well-earned independence.
501
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:35,027
For the folly of youth has...
502
00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:36,228
Fine!
503
00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,764
I can't believe we
have a new baby uncle!
504
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:40,666
Every Christmas,
he's probably gonna give us
505
00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:42,468
a Jovan Musk gift pack.
506
00:21:42,568 --> 00:21:44,437
And we'll have to pretend he's not
all creepy-looking.
507
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:46,705
Oh, I'll bet we're gonna
have to kiss him!
508
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,974
Right? Dude, did you shake his hand?
509
00:21:49,108 --> 00:21:51,977
It was like shaking hands
with a chicken dinner.
510
00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:55,314
That's all of them but
"Kill the Venture brothers."
511
00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:57,616
So, if you see a place
we can get ammo for this, pull over.
512
00:21:57,827 --> 00:22:00,630
I think the Monarch
meant that metaphorically.
513
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:01,987
What have you got here?
514
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:03,889
That's a Homeboy.
515
00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:05,124
But be careful.
516
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:10,229
That houses the souls
of two foul-mouthed rednecks!
517
00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:13,165
Oh, my hair's in my goggles again.
I can't see squat!
518
00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:15,468
I'm so sick of you complaining.
519
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:18,504
That's it, next salon we see,
you're getting a trim.
520
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:20,139
I'm growing a ponytail.
521
00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:22,908
Hold on. I'm gonna ask those
kids on the mini bikes up there.
522
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,878
Where can we get a haircut?
523
00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:27,446
And ammo for this?
524
00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:30,282
Hey, you're on the stick shift!
I can't see the road!
525
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:48,868
? Two angels are plucked
from the heavenly sky ?
526
00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,970
? In an instant they're gone ?
527
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:53,139
? In the blink of an eye ?
528
00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:55,908
? If you listen close you'll hear ?
529
00:22:56,008 --> 00:22:58,077
? Cherubs cry ?
530
00:22:58,177 --> 00:23:01,647
? Oh ?
531
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:03,482
? Look away ?
532
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:05,451
No!
533
00:23:08,854 --> 00:23:10,990
All right, get their clothes.
534
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:15,590
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