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1
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,708
Now, be careful.
2
00:00:07,884 --> 00:00:11,011
These things have booby traps. Booby.
3
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Will do.
4
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,381
And it's a good thing
I have my trusty penknife.
5
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:15,816
Dean, those are nail clippers.
6
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:17,417
Got it!
7
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,287
It's treasure!
8
00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:23,190
Brownish chunks of pirate booty!
9
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:24,892
Hank, that's an old piece of candy.
10
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Booty!
11
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,828
And there's a little guy in there
made out of pipe-cleaners.
12
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:29,129
Aw, cool. I get that!
13
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:33,700
It's all macaroni and empty spools
and puffy paint, some yarn...
14
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:36,370
Felt scraps. Hey!
Packages of googly-eyes!
15
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:37,871
I'm totally taking these.
16
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,841
Hey, this is interesting.
It's in Sanskrit.
17
00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:43,343
And a dialect I'm not familiar with.
18
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,878
I'm not sure I can read it.
19
00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:46,013
Well, just try.
20
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:51,585
"It... We have to you
likely the opening now of this chest.
21
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:56,623
To all that protect mine
rainy-day craft box
22
00:00:57,157 --> 00:01:00,327
are cursed, when to not take away
23
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,832
things or objects,"
or something like that.
24
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:07,734
The prepositions and stuff are all screwy...
25
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,571
It's a cursed treasure!
26
00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,243
The boys are in trouble.
27
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:22,115
You have thieved from the sacred craft-bin
of Olee Janeema.
28
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,684
Give him back the googly-eyes!
29
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,319
- You!
- I didn't take 'em!
30
00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:28,555
Now your blood shall flow in his name...
31
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,292
My arm came off.
32
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,127
I can't believe that happened!
33
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,863
Out of the way, boys.
34
00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:38,732
I'm gonna give him something
to really cry about.
35
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,667
Aw, I wanted a piece of him.
36
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:47,641
Stop! Oh, I'm sorry.
37
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:49,243
Stop hitting yourself!
38
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:55,315
Ooh, the terrible hurting!
Ow! Please stop doing that.
39
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:57,451
Enough!
40
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:04,524
The Monarch!
41
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:09,329
While you were wasting your time
castrating a priceless antique,
42
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:12,766
I have been systematically
feeding babies
43
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,801
to hungry, mutated puppies!
44
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,703
Not likely, Monarch.
45
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,238
Silence!
46
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:26,580
You know what this means.
Mecha-shiva.
47
00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:28,815
Mecha-shiva go!
48
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,233
Oh, no!
Wait a minute!
49
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,635
That's insane!
They're total liars!
50
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:51,605
I kept my mouth shut when Dean said
he could read Sanskrit.
51
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,807
Then, when Hank said he
wanted a piece of him,
52
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,843
I was, like, fine. Whatever.
But Mecha-shiva?
53
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,479
No way! They are so lying. I'm innocent.
54
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,449
Sit down, Mr. Monarch,
you'll have your chance.
55
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,052
Order! Order! I will have order!
56
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,454
Mecha-shiva!
57
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,428
Excuse me, gentlemen.
58
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:16,096
Would this be the courtroom
59
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:19,099
where one might attend
"The People v. The Monarch"?
60
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,636
You got the right room, but no one goes
through these doors without clearance.
61
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:26,106
I'm sure you'll find that I have every right
to attend these proceedings.
62
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:36,683
I'm in, and I've made a bit of a mess.
63
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,686
Send a cleaner for 375 pounds.
64
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:41,855
Maybe more.
65
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:45,692
- So, Hank... It is Hank, isn't it?
- Yes, sir.
66
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:49,830
Well, Hank,
what's it like to be a... liar?
67
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:53,266
Do you like being a liar,
with pants constantly on fire?
68
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,802
Objection, your honor! Leading.
69
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,939
I'll rephrase that.
Hank, are you a liar?
70
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,474
No, sir.
I don't think so.
71
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,942
- Yes, you are!
- You're the liar!
72
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,411
And may I remind you
that I am rubber and you are glue
73
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:07,381
and whatever you say
bounces off of me and sticks to you!
74
00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:09,850
That's it! This court
will recess for one hour.
75
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,419
I want to see the attorneys
in my chamber now!
76
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,722
You're on thin ice here,
but do you get off the ice?
77
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,959
Hell, no! You jump up and down
like a lunatic having a conniption fit.
78
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,828
Now, if it was up to me,
you'd have been in chains an hour ago.
79
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,464
But this is a trial by jury,
and it's up to your peers...
80
00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:27,334
Peers? Peers!
How dare you!
81
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,903
That repulsive display
of humanity out there?
82
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,405
No way!
83
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,640
Oh, look, freak-show decided to show up.
84
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:37,978
Would you be so kind
as to liberate me from my fetters?
85
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,313
It is a powerful hot in here.
86
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:51,391
Your Honor, I have some experience
87
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:55,729
with these what you might call
supervillain-types.
88
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:58,365
They're a specialty of mine.
89
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:01,168
What with this condition
I'm sorely afflicted with.
90
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,070
What? You have a condition?
No. No way.
91
00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:06,073
Most of them are wilder
than a peach orchard hog.
92
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,475
But this one here will go down
like all the others.
93
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,444
Yessir, that's a promise.
94
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:14,714
I'm gonna be working harder than a cat
trying to bury a turd on a marble floor.
95
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:15,782
Now, that's appealing.
96
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,651
I don't even have to open it.
97
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:20,454
I can just tell... egg salad.
98
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,390
Fart-sandwiches.
Dean, hold your breath.
99
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:25,158
We're going in for the cookie.
100
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,928
T-minus three, two, one.
101
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,730
If I knew you could just call
the cops on him,
102
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,566
I would have done it years ago!
103
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,367
Because I'm no sissy. No, sir.
104
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:38,472
I would just pick up that phone and,
"Officer, there's a man in a butterfly suit
105
00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,340
shooting my robot with a laser beam."
106
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:43,243
We'd still be waiting
for the cops to show up.
107
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:46,480
The police stay out of the way
of the Guild for the most part.
108
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:49,649
Who do you think supplied the department
with new cruisers last year?
109
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,151
My tax dollars, for one.
110
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,352
Santa Claus, for two.
111
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:53,753
Keep dreamin'.
112
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,889
No cop would respond to a call like that.
113
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:59,593
What about a supercop with a jet pack
and a devil-may-care attitude?
114
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,895
The only way the police
would get involved is
115
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,630
if the Guild screwed with them first.
116
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,299
So when the Monarch
messed with the police,
117
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,001
- he messed with...
- The Guild.
118
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,469
I was gonna say that.
119
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,238
Sovereign,
120
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:13,140
many of our operatives are in place.
121
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,741
We await your orders.
122
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:17,144
Good. Good.
123
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:19,946
Let us proceed to stage five.
124
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,015
It shall be done.
125
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,317
Great, way to make me look like a tool!
126
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,552
What are you doing back there?
127
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:28,388
- Have you seen my juice-box?
- Oh, that was yours?
128
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:29,923
- I thought that...
- Great. Thanks.
129
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,359
Why did I even bother
putting my initials on it?
130
00:06:35,905 --> 00:06:37,164
How rude of me.
131
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,999
Would you care for some Pez?
132
00:06:39,072 --> 00:06:41,301
Oh... No.
133
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,436
I think they taste too much like soap.
134
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:48,041
For my next witness,
I would like to call to the stand,
135
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:49,676
The Monarch!
136
00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:51,578
They are so gonna fry this idiot.
137
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,415
Just get on the stand
and give your testimony.
138
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:56,983
Oh. Okay. Right. Sorry.
139
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:00,554
How do I, uh?
140
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,889
Oh, any time, Mr. Monarch.
Today would be nice.
141
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,357
Okay, I should just go then?
142
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:05,425
Please!
143
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:10,864
This all started soon after
The Flight of the Monarch was published,
144
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:15,135
a mean little tell-all book filled with nothing
but lies and pictures of also-lies.
145
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,604
- What the hell is this?
- A book?
146
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:20,207
No! But you would think it was, right?
147
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:22,676
You can read it like a book.
Here, I'll show you.
148
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:27,781
"Rifling through his pockets for change,
the Monarch accidentally launches
149
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:31,284
a sodium-pentothal-tipped dart
deep into his own thigh.
150
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:34,454
Upon hearing a girlish symphony
of shrill wails,
151
00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:35,956
a waitress comes to his aid..."
152
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,057
I told you.
153
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,825
You told me he wouldn't find out.
154
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,528
You're such a dick.
You put his face on the cover!
155
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:42,896
"...plucking your eyebrows?!"
156
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,365
Oh, it's almost exactly like a book.
157
00:07:45,454 --> 00:07:46,922
There's even some pictures.
158
00:07:46,978 --> 00:07:48,766
Why, here's one of me at Dance-eteria
159
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:51,137
making out with Stiv Bators
and Lydia Lunch!
160
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:55,742
But this is not a book.
This is a suicide note!
161
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:59,346
Good news! The euthanasia
will be carried out by me.
162
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:04,351
The author has twenty minutes
to seek my aid before I just kill all of you.
163
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:08,989
You'll find me in my room... crying.
164
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,692
After a heart-to-heart
with my family of friends,
165
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,694
a confession soon followed.
166
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:21,434
It must have been hard for him
to come to a man he saw as a mentor
167
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:25,038
and confess to penning
such libelous slander.
168
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,441
I was lenient on him.
He punished himself enough.
169
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:32,479
You should have replaced
his blood with acid after this part.
170
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,447
The sharks won't touch him now.
171
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,951
Thanks, Dr. Girlfriend.
Now you tell me.
172
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,387
Lower the giant hair dryer!
173
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:42,822
Objection!
174
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,391
On what grounds?
175
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:45,892
Boring me to tears.
176
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,727
Relevance, Your Honor.
177
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:52,365
Mr. Monarch hasn't been charged
with having a book written about him.
178
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:56,569
He's been charged
with the abduction or maybe, well,
179
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:59,973
disintegration of a police officer.
180
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:02,342
I'm getting to that!
Just keep your pants on.
181
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:04,377
Oh, wait.
You can't wear pants, can you?
182
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,379
Overruled.
Continue, Mr. Monarch.
183
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,914
But please get to the point.
184
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:11,418
But sadly, the repercussions
of The Flight of the Monarch
185
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:12,686
were far from over.
186
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:14,354
Okay, then who haven't you slept with?
187
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,790
- I'm sure that's a shorter list.
- Oh, you are insane!
188
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,926
I'm insane? I'm insane?
Look at these!
189
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,295
There's a picture of you
in Monstroso's lap.
190
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,231
That was a party.
Look at his lap... It's huge.
191
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,966
There's, like, five of us on it.
192
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:30,503
Yeah, right. And here's one of you
skinny dipping with Jim Foetus!
193
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,072
Let me see that.
I don't remember...
194
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,441
And there's a whole collage
of you and Phantom Limb.
195
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:36,943
All right, fine!
I used to work for him. So what?
196
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,412
Holy crap!
Look at your costume!
197
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:41,381
What, did Frank Frazetta design it for you?
198
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:42,515
It's tiny!
199
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,186
I can see your dirty pillows!
200
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:47,854
I am leaving!
201
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,322
If you can't calm down, I'm leaving.
202
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,958
You can't leave.
I'm throwing you out.
203
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:55,995
Get out of my cocoon, you whore!
204
00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:01,701
After an amicable parting of the ways,
life went on as usual.
205
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:06,373
And that was the last time
I saw Dr. Girl...
206
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,541
Dr. Ex-Girlfriend!
207
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,744
Good riddance to bad girlfriends, I say.
208
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:16,516
My guess is about then, well, she was
so sad about her failure to upset me
209
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,018
that she probably
went crazy, rampage nuts.
210
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,653
He's lying!
211
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:25,325
Oh, no way. That's a real big surprise.
212
00:10:30,883 --> 00:10:33,400
Good gracious.
What happened to you?
213
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,069
It's a long story. Can I come in?
214
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:39,139
Of course, of course.
It's horrid out there.
215
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:40,640
I insist on it.
216
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,676
Dear girl, you're soaked to the bone.
217
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,413
Come sit down and tell me all about it.
218
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:49,315
Now, let it all out.
219
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,284
I'm just going to get you
some dry clothes.
220
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,685
He threw me out.
221
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:56,156
After saying the most horrible things,
he threw me out.
222
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,991
The cad! How dare he!
223
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,528
Who does he think he is...
Mr. King Butterfly Man?
224
00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:03,062
Well, I'm nobody's doormat.
225
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,532
Before I met him, I was Lady Au Pair.
226
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:09,936
I was feared, and I was respected,
and not just by my murderous moppets,
227
00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:11,204
by everyone.
228
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,539
And after that, I was...
229
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,207
Queen Etherea.
230
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,711
Put it on. I want to see you in it again.
231
00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:20,547
Oh, I can't believe you saved it.
232
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,215
What are these hard chunks?
233
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:23,416
My tears.
234
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,952
Tears? You have to be kidding me!
235
00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:28,321
You know that sick, deformed slob,
236
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,457
you know he was pounding
his invisible meat...
237
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,358
That's it. Objection!
238
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,694
Your honor, I have children listening
to this potty talk!
239
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:38,698
Sustained. I want that last bit stricken
from the record... and my mind.
240
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,733
Dr. Venture, you might want
to take your sons out.
241
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,670
Not me! There's no way
I'm gonna miss this.
242
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,638
Brock, be a lamb,
and take the boys somewhere.
243
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:48,141
Aw, come on, Pop.
We're not babies.
244
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,642
Dean told me how he pounds his...
245
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,344
All right. Yeah, boys.
246
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:57,484
Uh, hey, why don't we go scrounge up
some adventure,
247
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:58,985
do some, uh...
248
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:01,754
Control, delay order.
We've lost full containment.
249
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,756
I repeat, delay order.
250
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,291
Copy on delay.
251
00:12:05,367 --> 00:12:07,427
- We are on standby.
- Knew it.
252
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,496
- I thought you went to the can.
- I did. I'm back.
253
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,231
That was, like, ten seconds ago.
254
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,899
What, are you pissing in the corner?
255
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:16,436
There's gum in this fountain...
Our first clue.
256
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:19,539
It seems our thirsty mystery man
was a gum-chewer.
257
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,474
Look, Brock. Hank found a clue.
258
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:22,609
Oh, great.
259
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:24,344
Boys, don't touch that clue.
260
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,546
That clue was in somebody's mouth.
261
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,915
That clue's filthy.
262
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,050
Now, take your time.
263
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:34,954
I know this is very upsetting for you.
264
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,823
Would you like a tissue?
265
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,659
It's fine. I have one.
266
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,730
If this is too much for you...
267
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,899
No, please. I want to finish.
268
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,667
Go on, then.
269
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:51,704
I was there for maybe a half an hour.
270
00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:54,641
We were eating some aged...
something-or-other cheese.
271
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,075
I don't recall what it was.
272
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:57,377
Asiago.
273
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,245
I developed a love
for this playful provision
274
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,548
during my stay in Florence, Italy.
275
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,583
It's really nothing more
than a common table cheese,
276
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:06,219
but I find it a charming yang
to merlot's impish ying.
277
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,955
It tastes like the inside of an old thermos.
278
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,790
Will you knock that off?
279
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:11,824
Let me get that.
280
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,993
You must be strong.
Remember who you are.
281
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:15,929
His lies can't hurt you anymore.
282
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,131
Stop that.
We heard you the first time.
283
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,066
I knew you were here!
284
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,468
The henchmen were all,
"She went to her mother's,"
285
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:25,438
but I knew you went crawling back to him!
286
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:26,906
Keep your voice down.
287
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,174
Holy crap!
What are you wearing?
288
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:31,511
Is that your Queen Etherea suit?
You're wearing your old costume now?
289
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,112
My clothes were wet, and he...
290
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,348
I can't believe you're falling
for that floating
291
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,884
smooth-talking jackass!
292
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:40,520
I can't even look at you in that... slut,
293
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,121
slut slutty slut suit!
294
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:44,190
I was wearing this when you first met me.
295
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,359
I don't remember you complaining then.
296
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,161
That's because I had you out of that rag
297
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:49,929
within the first five minutes
of meeting you.
298
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,698
I made you the Monarch's!
299
00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:53,932
You are a monster!
300
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,368
All right.
301
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:58,338
- That was supposed to be romantic.
- Oh, go to hell!
302
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:00,607
Fine!
303
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,876
Then he just hung around the yard yelling
till somebody called the cops.
304
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,945
That was all you saw?
305
00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:08,548
Well, I saw the flashing lights
from, I guess, the police
306
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,617
and I heard some talking. Then...
307
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,252
- Then?
- Then... nothing.
308
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:14,887
- Nothing?
- Nothing.
309
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:16,689
- Nothing?
- Nothing!
310
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,225
Ow! What the dealy-o?
311
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,128
Saliva is nature's glue.
312
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,830
And raisins are nature's candy!
313
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,765
It's the oldest trick in the book.
314
00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:28,735
If I place a hair between the door
and frame...
315
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:30,770
- We've been made.
- It works as a burglar alarm.
316
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:34,407
All we have to do is come back,
and if the hair is gone,
317
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,309
somebody used this door.
318
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:37,543
Help!
319
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,880
Do not be too hasty entering that room.
320
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,650
I had Taco Bell for lunch!
321
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:50,189
Expert witness Dr. Byron Orpheus
has arrived!
322
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,859
The hair's gone! A clue!
323
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,495
It was Dr. O. the whole time.
324
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,163
I wonder what that means.
325
00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,699
It means Dr. Orpheus
had to take a dump.
326
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,301
So, nice job.
Case closed.
327
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,337
Place your right hand on the...
328
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,739
How sweet. A Bible.
329
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:10,643
Well, if you don't mind, sir,
I have a book of my own for this little ritual.
330
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,981
Keep your fingers clear of its mouth.
331
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,149
He's a nibbler.
332
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:18,051
Do you swear to tell
the truth, the whole truth,
333
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:22,088
and nothing but the truth,
so help you... Uh, whoever?
334
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,090
I swear it.
335
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:29,896
Dr. Orpheus, could you tell the court
what it is that you do?
336
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,098
You're a type of magician?
337
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:34,867
Oh, they have no idea
what they're in for.
338
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:41,541
Well, if you must call me that, yes.
But if you are after mere parlor tricks,
339
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,743
you will be sorely disappointed.
340
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:49,816
For if I reach behind your ear,
it will not be a nickel I pull out,
341
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,617
but your very soul!
342
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,187
Good night, ladies and gentlemen.
You've been a great crowd.
343
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,622
A mind reader, huh?
344
00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:01,094
That seems kind of hocus-pocus,
now, don't it?
345
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:04,330
It's as crazy as,
oh, let's say the fact
346
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:07,700
that nobody can recall
what happened that night,
347
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:12,171
the night that a policeman
and his motorcycle simply vanished.
348
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,875
Well, maybe I'm just
an ignorant old country lawyer,
349
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,077
but this sounds like a cover-up.
350
00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:21,180
Or is it magic?
Do you believe in magic?
351
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:26,352
The Monarch must, for he's given us
no other rational explanation.
352
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:28,955
Something big is going down.
353
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:31,057
This place is crawling with Strangers.
354
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:32,592
You can't expect to know everybody.
355
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:33,659
No, Hank.
356
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,262
Strangers are undercover Guild operatives.
357
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,497
We gotta warn Pop!
358
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,198
No, Dean.
This is Guild business.
359
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:40,600
Your father isn't in any harm.
360
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,902
The Guild works clean, professional.
361
00:16:43,035 --> 00:16:44,337
It's surgical with them.
362
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,340
In a way, they're the only organization
I still respect.
363
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,010
And they kill clean.
Don't let dames get in the way.
364
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:54,280
Honestly, Hank, where
do you pick that stuff up?
365
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,615
I never see you read.
366
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:56,849
It's weird, right?
367
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,718
It's like he channels dead crazy people.
368
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,353
You think it's a cry for help?
369
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,222
So... a mind reader.
370
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,657
Fascinating.
371
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:09,128
Could you read the mind of, let's say,
for instance, the Monarch?
372
00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:10,696
If it would please the court.
373
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,098
Objection. No way!
374
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,766
This is most unorthodox.
375
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,168
Unorthodox?
376
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,470
The defendant's in a crown,
for God's sake!
377
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:21,340
I myself am growing from the torso
of an inbred simpleton.
378
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,943
I promise not to make his eyes boil.
379
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:28,114
I'll... allow it.
380
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:29,849
Hug me.
381
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,485
Fine. Whatever gets you off, man.
382
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,187
Just don't go for the reach-around
383
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,022
because the Monarch doesn't swing that...
384
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:37,423
Sleep!
385
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,525
Dream.
386
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,701
All right, what's going on here?
387
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:52,438
Oh, just doing some... gardening.
388
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:56,042
I got a call from a concerned citizen
there's a domestic going on here.
389
00:17:56,309 --> 00:18:00,713
Listen, Officer Poncharello,
my second-in-command just left me.
390
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,916
So why don't you put
your fat Tom-of-Finland ass
391
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,519
back on your big gay bike
and go home?
392
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,154
This is none of your beeswax.
393
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,723
Okay, pal, let's just keep those hands
where I can see them.
394
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,526
Oh, you want some of this?
Let's go, Fonzie.
395
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,761
Come on. Take your best shot!
396
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:18,431
Think you can take this?
So, too fast for you?
397
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,071
It's all there.
Do you want to count it?
398
00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:26,572
No. That's bad form.
399
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,642
There's a passport,
name change information, the works.
400
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,444
Even got you a new wife.
401
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,579
You won't see her much,
being a supermodel.
402
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:34,981
She'll be traveling a lot.
403
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,450
Uh, do I have an erection?
404
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:39,118
I feel like I might have one.
405
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,053
Pleasure doing business
with you, gentlemen.
406
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,222
If we see you,
hear your voice in a crowd...
407
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:46,392
Don't worry about me. I'm a ghost.
408
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,027
Good. We'll take it from here.
409
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,001
You won't believe this.
410
00:18:55,301 --> 00:19:00,373
I've seen the greasy interior
of many a mind
411
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,208
and I'm not sure I believe this.
412
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,543
Now! It must be now! Now!
413
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,145
- What'd I miss?
- Now!
414
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:07,914
It's a Freeze-Team!
415
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,782
Down on the ground and hold your breath.
416
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,150
There's pee pee on the floor!
417
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:12,685
I told you to hold your breath.
418
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:23,729
Take the prisoner.
419
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:27,800
For everyone else, I want
a level three memory wipe. Move!
420
00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:37,176
Finally, number three
on the Guild's most wanted list,
421
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:39,045
Tiny Attorney.
422
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:43,916
It's time the Guild sentences him
to a "Trial Separation."
423
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:45,351
Ha! I just made that up.
424
00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:46,852
It's funny on a lot of levels.
425
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,087
Right. It just came out.
426
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:49,922
What about the necromancer?
427
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:51,891
Memory wipes don't
work on his kind.
428
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:55,828
True, but they take to hypnotic suggestion
like cancer to a prostate.
429
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:57,630
Wait! I know this one.
430
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:00,800
Filed with us five times
to get an arch-rival
431
00:20:00,884 --> 00:20:02,802
part of the Venture clique, I think.
432
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,604
You know the Monarch did it.
433
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:09,809
He's a very bad man who wants
to hurt the Venture family,
434
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,577
and once he's put away,
435
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:16,015
we'll get all of you a new arch-rival,
just like you've always wanted.
436
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:17,817
You're gonna put the Monarch away?
437
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,185
You never told me that.
438
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,287
Somebody has to take the fall.
439
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:25,558
But you, my dear, you were perfect,
a regular Mata Hari.
440
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:28,561
Trust me.
The Guild will reward you handsomely.
441
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:31,731
But as for your precious Monarch,
forget him.
442
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,866
He's totally screwed.
443
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:37,036
Will that hypnotic suggestion thing
work on him?
444
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:38,270
I think so.
445
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:41,073
I had nothing to do with this crap.
446
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:44,877
It was, like, I don't know, those weird kids,
the Venture brothers.
447
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:46,245
They did it.
448
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:48,381
Strangers, withdraw!
449
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:54,020
All clear, Mr. Samson. The Guild
appreciates your non-interference.
450
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:55,921
Whatever. How much time?
451
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:57,556
Twenty seconds.
452
00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:01,794
Continue, Mr. Orpheus.
You were saying?
453
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,662
I hope they find me a girl villain.
454
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:04,997
- Mr. Orpheus?
- A redhead.
455
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,766
He's gonna blow it.
456
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,035
Brock, when did you get back?
457
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,170
What happened to the little guy
riding the retard?
458
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,171
Don't worry about it.
459
00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:14,040
Mr. Orpheus, you were
telling us what you learned.
460
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:16,008
That is true, I was.
461
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:20,780
With my own eyes,
I have seen into his senses.
462
00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:23,716
I have been a witness to his doings!
463
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:28,721
And I have found
that the Monarch is
464
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:32,425
without any shadow of a doubt...
465
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,362
guilty!
466
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:08,094
Oh, my precious pookums,
of course I forgive you.
467
00:22:08,294 --> 00:22:12,231
Why, in a few, oh, I don't know, decades,
468
00:22:12,364 --> 00:22:14,366
I'll be out of here,
and we can...
469
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:17,670
we can just start again.
470
00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:19,839
Can I go now?
471
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,740
Everybody's staring at me.
472
00:22:21,790 --> 00:22:26,340
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