All language subtitles for Luis Carlos de Alencar - Homens Invisíveis (2019) En

They caught me red-handed.

They approached me...

The cops approached me.
"Freeze!" And so on...

"Hands on your back!"

Then they were startled.

"I'm a man, I'm trans.”

"I did notice
something different."

INVISIBLE MEN

Friends called me to go
to a nightclub. So I went to have fun.

I left the place
at 5am to go to work.

I saw two men coming after me.

They started to beat me up.

They confused me with two guys
who had robbed them.

Then I said "I'm a girl"
to ease the situation.

Because of prejudice, it got worse
and they beat me up even more.

Then I said "If it was me,
call the police."

Then, two girls came and said
I had nothing to do with that.

They got scared
because they beat me up

and kept on accusing me
to make me feel frightened.

So I ended up going to jail.

The cops thought I was a man.

So they beat me up.
I did a forensic examination.

I felt the gun barrel
on my forehead.

And he pushed me at the wall.

-I was really frightened.
-I was arrested by GOPE,

the Police Special Ops.

They said, “Men on one side,
women to the other.”

I went to men's side.

It was dark
and they couldn't see me properly.

He grabbed a wooden chair
like this, closed it

and hit this guy in the back.

"Holy shit!

I won't withstand
something like that.”

That guy was so buff,
he was hit and fell.

They cop said: "Get up!
Aren't you a man?"

I thought:
"Soon it'll be my turn."

Then he went one by one.

Oh, God!
My number was coming up.

Then a woman said:
"No, she's a woman."

I said: "I'm a man!"
And my girlfriend: "Shut up!"

"I'm a man!"
"Then you'll get hit as a man!"

He hit me with the chair,
but not as hard. I didn't fall.

Then another woman came and said:

"No! Afterwards, there'll be
a forensics examination."

"Then go to the women's side!"

"No, I'll stay here!"
"What?" And he slapped my ear.

And he pulled me by the ear
and put me there.

Then I went to the Police Station.
I was really stressed out.

"Put this guy back there!"

The left me with no shirt,
just a top.

My mom went there,
saw me and talk to them,

but they were totally strict
because I looked different.

So it was tough,
I got sick.

When I got there, the first thing
that really bothered me,

the frisk.

That's when...

I argued saying I wanted
to be frisked alone.

I didn't feel at ease taking
my clothes off in front of the girls.

They put a mirror under your...

under you and you have to squat
to see if there's nothing in you.

"Lady, look at me. Do you think
I'd put something inside me?"

"I don't want to know.
You're like everyone else here.

Squat ten times!"

At the time,
it was a female police chief.

You'd lay down
and she'd stand on top.

"What's the color of my undies?"
Blue, pow! Black, pow! Red, pow!

Whatever color you said,
you'd get beaten anyway.

They didn't give me
a chance to talk.

I could only talk in my first
hearing eight months later.

The judge talked to me
and the alleged victim

and saw that the story
was totally nonsense,

so she allowed me
a defense hearing.

My witness went and I was released.

There was a gender norm embedded
in our background as a human being.

And this gender system
causes several issues.

It causes sexism.

It's set to annihilate all that's
different or that rises against it.

Identifying this Gender system,
we can also identify some individuals

who will escape this present gender
norms and will transgress it.

And then we talk
about transgender people.

It's those people who are all
the time transgressing this norm.

As you begin to understand
a bit of the universe, the world,

you know you don't fit in.

It's always difficult to walk
around the streets, and scary.

Since very young,
"She's a lesbian and so on."

So I've always
stayed home a lot.

At the first day of junior school,
you must use a girl's uniform.

My mother came to dress me
and I said I wouldn't use it.

She said: "You'll use it!
You're a girl!"

That moment was
a great trauma for me.

I understood my transsexuality
in a very harsh way,

when that small-town society
came to tell me

that I couldn't be who I am.

Many transgender men and women
and transsexual leave school

because they can't
withstand transphobia.

So the pressure on
me was really strong,

but I held on and managed
to get to college.

The prison system
becomes aggravated

because of
a dichotomy established

between what's health and security
and justice within this space

As it was a space design
to deny people of their freedom,

all the other rights
become secondary.

And health is not apart from that.

It's not different from education,
culture and leisure.

So they're arrested, deprived

and then we look for different
alternatives to keep people alive.

Usually, people who had their
freedom denied

they were also denied other rights
and assets throughout their lives.

So we see these transgender
people marginalized

within these control devices.

One of these powerful
control devices

is the prison system.

It determines which bodies
are approved or not.

It's unbelievable the amount
of transgender men in jail.

In my cell, there were two,
in the next, three more.

The transgressive body
always expects something to happen,

that it will occupy
this space someday.

That's a personal experience,
I've been in the prison system.

When I got there,
I was already pretty big.

I was really fit,
and handsome as hell.

The women inmates
didn't know I was transgender,

they thought I was
a prison guard,

so they were all quiet.

When they were told
I was a transgender man,

everyone went nuts,
I even had a beard.

"Dude, there's a man
inside the jail!"

It was insane.
All those women went crazy:

"Come here, get in here,
for the love of God!"

People desire you in there.

I really went to town,
I had three women in a single cell,

not mentioning the others
from other cells.

The women fight for you, really.

They ganged up to beat him up,
because he was cheating,

lying to the girls.

He can't hit the girl
he's cheating on,

so the girls would
gang up on him.

All I said was:
"Don't hit me.

Go fight away from here.

I won't hook up with any of you
if you hit me."

They wouldn't hit me,
but they would hit each other.

Not me, thank God, I'd be in trouble
if they all ganged up to beat me up.

So you always
get something out of it.

If you need something just ask
the girl and she'll get it for you.

It's unusual for a transgender man
to have it bad in there.

Pot, blow, candy,
it's all there.

And because I was single,
I got all these gifts.

The girls send them to you
to win you over.

They treat you like a king
until you're married,

that's the truth.

I LOVE YOU

So I hooked up with this woman,
the prettiest and biggest criminal.

It was about survival,
I didn't know how to deal with it,

how to talk, how to act.

I hooked up with her for two months,
in separate cells, just visiting,

but at a certain point,

I really wanted us to have
a serious relationship.

In New Year's Eve,
I wrote her a letter,

told her I really liked her
and wanted to be with her,

even out here.

Our life in there is in there,
it's separate from out here.

Many people
don't mix the two,

they want to live something
in there and that was that.

We decided to carry it forward.

It was so shocking
to everyone in that jail,

we shut that place down.

I walk like a man, I'm a man,
I feel I'm a man,

and she walks around
in large shorts and robes,

so other people see her
as a lesbian in that jail,

the man.

So let's put two men,
two people hooking up,

who dress alike...

I'll tell you the truth, I started
having some happy times in there.

It was a wonderful ending
to my time in jail,

after I met her.

All the girls addressed me
with male pronouns.

All of them. I was immediately
seen as a man.

They asked me what was my alias,
and I didn't get it.

"My name's Pablo."
"No, Pablo's your name."

"Pablo's my name? All right."
"So your alias is PL."

So they started
calling me Pablo, PL, "he",

and I liked it,
it was a good fit.

I think the hardest thing in there,
at least for me,

was to embody a stereotype
of a cisgender criminal male.

I didn't have it in me at all.

I spent 5 years in that jail,

and I got out afraid of robbers,

afraid of the police,
afraid of everything.

I should've gotten out
with a PhD,

as a big time criminal, but no.

I became an animal.

In jail,
I started disrespecting women,

which I hadn't done
before going to prison.

I lost myself a bit.

Until my previous relationship,

I was still a very sexist
and bigoted man,

and I learned it in jail.

Now I'm seeing a therapist
to work through this,

because I realize
I didn't use to be like this.

FEMALE ENTRY

"MY JOB ISN'T TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE,
BUT TO MAKE THEM BETTER."

Torture is the idea that someone

is systematically
causing you pain,

intense suffering,

which can be both physical,
psychological or moral.

The system as a whole can already
be considered torture.

This manifests itself within
the structures of oppression

we have inside prisons.

So people with physical disabilities
will be under more oppression,

women will be
under more oppression,

black people are already
under oppression,

already have more chances
to be imprisoned as a group,

and on top of that, they'll suffer
more psychological damage

because they're targeted.

There's a repression

in regards...

to the sexual orientation

as well as the aesthetics
of those who are sent to this jail.

It's based on the idea that women
should be sweet, feminine...

It's the inmates who respect us,
the guards don't,

all they care about
is themselves.

"What, are you going
to come out and get me?"

The system saw me as a girl.

"Who are you?"
"I'm Pablo." "No, you're not."

That was even used to justify
sending me to solitary,

or getting beaten up.

"If you're a man,
you'll get hit like one."

If they didn't like you, they'd call
your name from across the room.

They'd shout it out.

Twice a day you have to...

I can't remember what it's called,
but they'd call your name,

it was embarrassing.

They have to use your name.
"No, you're a woman!"

Even with an amended ID,
I didn't have any rights,

and I was really shaken
psychologically.

The girls, the inmates,
respected and understood me.

"Don't worry, man,
don't get in trouble over it.

If you keep saying that they'll
take you to the back room."

They like to screw
with your mind in there,

to destabilize you,
force you to engage

and stay another year.

The chief of security
persecuted me.

One day she decided
to open up the cell

and put everyone in there,
all 45 women,

over me, because
I looked too much like a man.

All the time, she'd take me away
from the cell, shave my mustache.

One time, I let my hair grow a bit,
I didn't want to keep cutting it.

I don't know why
she was mad at me,

she wanted to shave my head.

She'd make me face the wall.

"A black girl without breasts,
and with a mustache?"

In her mind...

I don't really know
what she felt.

Since 2014,
we have a national policy

for the full-time care of the health
of those deprived of freedom,

and what is also
an innovation to me,

a resolution from the National Council
for Criminal and Penitentiary Policy

which describes a set
of specific measures

for the LGBT population.

And within these measures,
gender issues are very well described.

So we're innovative
when it comes to legislation,

but in practice, we can see
that between the law books

and what takes place at the other end,
where things happen,

there's an enormous gap.

Health isn't just about illness,

as described
by the World Health Organization.

It encompasses leisure, a home,
an education

and it even encompasses
the desire to be beautiful.

That's health too.

So the demands of a population
who is cut off aesthetically

are absolutely legitimate.

You couldn't even
wear male underwear,

you'd have to pay
R$ 70 or 80 for a pair.

I did all my time
with a single pair of underwear.

You guys can't even imagine
what it's like

to go a whole year and 8 months
with a single pair of underwear.

I didn't get visitors, and I didn't
take anything from anyone.

Sometimes visitors would bring
new pairs of underwear

to the other inmates,
so they could sell us.

My mother would always send two,

and if there was someone in line
who wasn't carrying panties,

my mom would go "here's two more,
give them to my son".

People would come to me a lot...

For your underwear.

Right, everyone wanted a pair.

To feel bad would lead
to psychological damage, in fact.

Health is not just about
bodily, physical health,

it's also about
the psychological.

If a person points out
the need for change,

some bodily transformation,

for them to feel comfortable
psychologically, that's health.

By law, if you're
already transitioning,

it has to keep going, but we know
that doesn't really happen.

I had a prescription, but I needed
an authorization to get the medicine,

so I didn't take
any of my hormones.

You start getting your period,

which is what bothers
us men the most.

Our hormones just freeze.

I was totally embarrassed,
it felt awful.

We take these hormones
that change our entire bodies,

we need medical supervision,

and the healthcare system
doesn't even care, the system itself.

He's deprived of his freedom,

but not of the rights
he's entitled to.

In the prison system,
we do need support.

There's no reason not to,
we're all the same,

and we're paying
for our mistakes.

We don't have any data

about how many transgender women,
how many transgender men,

how many gays, bisexuals,
we don't have that information.

First because it's hard for us
as healthcare providers

to understand that this is part
of the process of care,

to acknowledge that identity.

If you treat people as things,
there's no humanity,

no pain, no suffering,
no rights,

no chance to become something.

To get to a clinic,
you have to write a letter,

but you never get to go,
you don't have the opportunity.

I had a friend,
a transgender man.

He ended up dying of syphilis

because he couldn't get
to the infirmary.

He couldn't get treatment,

because of bigotry, a bunch of stuff,
he was a beautiful boy,

no older than 20,
and he died of syphilis.

We should add a very important point
regarding access to health:

respect to gender identity.

To me, a gynecologist's office

is one of the most
oppressive places.

The doctor who's there to see me
doesn't understand

why I, a transgender man,
would need access to gynecology.

Gynecology, to me,
needs to have its name changed.

Because the way it is,

it's implied to be
just for women,

because just "women"
would have vulvas,

just "women"
would have vaginas.

The gynecological policy
needs to change.

Is there a male vulva?
I'd say so.

So it's hard
to get to a gynecologist.

I'd get a transvaginal
ultrasound every year.

He was a huge, brutish man.

When he took one of those things,
he decided to get a bigger one.

It even made me bleed,
because there are specific sizes.

He jammed it in there, and I said
"Are you crazy, my dude?"

I just stood there,
and a woman come in.

She put that stick in there,
poked it around...

I told her "oh, darling..."
"Does it hurt?"

I said "no, not at all."

She yanked it out:

"Why didn't you tell me
you were on your period?"

"Because I wasn't", I said.

"Women are victims
of more violence."

"No, dude, we're victims too."

"You're an alien, you don't exist,
transgender men don't exist anywhere."

And that's why the suicide rates
for transgender men are so high,

because being a man
means you're silent,

you can't open up.

We don't have an idea,
for instance,

of how many transgender men
are killed.

If transgender women
got all those public policies,

it was because they fought really hard
for a really long time,

ever since the '70s and '80s.

When we got to the '90s,
it really started getting traction.

When did we start talking
about transmasculinity in Brazil?

We started in the '2000s.

We still have ways to go.

There's still no elaboration,

it was just created,
having started in the '2000s,

and these bodies are still
too recent as a concept,

although they have
had experiences.

We know these people exist,
and that they're there.