Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,005 --> 00:00:04,008
♪ dramatic music ♪
2
00:00:08,514 --> 00:00:11,517
♪ theme song playing ♪
3
00:00:37,084 --> 00:00:40,087
♪
4
00:00:41,088 --> 00:00:42,089
[sighs]
5
00:00:43,006 --> 00:00:45,509
[sighs, sucking]
6
00:00:45,509 --> 00:00:47,636
- Aw. He's using his jacket
7
00:00:47,636 --> 00:00:49,680
as some kind of security blanket.
8
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,515
- That's so cute and pathetic.
9
00:00:51,515 --> 00:00:54,810
- It really is. You do you, weirdo!
10
00:00:54,810 --> 00:00:57,354
- Oh, hey, guys.
I'm just sucking on my jacket.
11
00:00:57,354 --> 00:00:59,731
A Clump-O-Honey candy
got stuck right there
12
00:00:59,731 --> 00:01:02,484
over a thousand years ago,
and I can still taste it.
13
00:01:02,484 --> 00:01:04,903
- You know who I bet
would like some of that?
14
00:01:04,903 --> 00:01:06,238
Me! Zoidberg.
15
00:01:06,238 --> 00:01:08,115
[slurping]
16
00:01:08,115 --> 00:01:10,325
- Oh, no! [slurping]
17
00:01:10,325 --> 00:01:12,411
Zoidberg, you residue hog!
18
00:01:12,411 --> 00:01:14,621
Now all I taste is crab juice.
19
00:01:14,621 --> 00:01:16,832
- So, buy another jacket candy.
20
00:01:16,832 --> 00:01:18,876
- I can't. They stopped making it
21
00:01:18,876 --> 00:01:22,004
after it got reclassified
as industrial glue.
22
00:01:22,004 --> 00:01:25,382
- Ah. Then I, Bender,
will recreate the recipe.
23
00:01:25,382 --> 00:01:28,385
Don't forget, I came in third
on MasterChef Junior.
24
00:01:29,094 --> 00:01:31,096
[bubbling]
25
00:01:31,096 --> 00:01:32,472
[squirting]
26
00:01:32,472 --> 00:01:34,474
- May I have a taste?
27
00:01:34,474 --> 00:01:37,269
- Sure. You seem like the kind of guy
who has a mouth.
28
00:01:37,269 --> 00:01:38,604
[slurps, smacking]
29
00:01:38,604 --> 00:01:41,773
- Whoa! Diabetic coma!
30
00:01:41,773 --> 00:01:44,693
- Hm. I better add some sugar
to make it less sweet.
31
00:01:46,486 --> 00:01:49,031
- And just a touch of treacle
32
00:01:49,031 --> 00:01:52,159
to remind me of my dear
departed Aunt Juanita.
33
00:01:52,159 --> 00:01:54,703
[sniffles] She drowned in treacle.
34
00:01:54,703 --> 00:01:57,706
- You know I'm dying on the floor.
35
00:01:57,706 --> 00:02:00,209
[Bender humming]
36
00:02:00,209 --> 00:02:03,212
[excited murmuring]
37
00:02:03,212 --> 00:02:05,589
- So, what do you think?
[Fry smacking]
38
00:02:05,589 --> 00:02:08,926
- Mm! It's perfect, Bender.
Totally jacket worthy.
39
00:02:08,926 --> 00:02:11,094
[smacking]
- It's a little sticky.
40
00:02:11,094 --> 00:02:12,888
- [muffled]:
It's a lot sticky!
41
00:02:12,888 --> 00:02:14,556
[muffled groaning]
42
00:02:14,556 --> 00:02:17,434
[smack] And there's something hard in it.
43
00:02:17,434 --> 00:02:18,477
♪ dramatic sting ♪
44
00:02:18,477 --> 00:02:20,062
[gasps]
[Bender yelps]
45
00:02:20,062 --> 00:02:23,649
- Luckily, I'm an expert
at fixing human beak bones.
46
00:02:23,649 --> 00:02:26,401
Are you free Friday
for an expensive appointment?
47
00:02:26,401 --> 00:02:28,904
- Let me check. Open calendar!
48
00:02:30,531 --> 00:02:32,699
Shmeird.
There's some old alert
49
00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:34,952
I set up 20 years ago.
50
00:02:34,952 --> 00:02:37,120
[gasps] Our babies?!
51
00:02:38,747 --> 00:02:40,207
- It's time, my love.
52
00:02:40,207 --> 00:02:42,000
- Oh, Kif!
53
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,669
- The hell are you talking about?
54
00:02:43,669 --> 00:02:46,004
Something to do
with the meatbag life cycle?
55
00:02:46,004 --> 00:02:48,090
- That's right, Bender.
Many years ago,
56
00:02:48,090 --> 00:02:50,509
I gave birth to a clutch of tadpoles
57
00:02:50,509 --> 00:02:52,302
with Amy by my side.
58
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,763
- I have video of the birth.
Wanna see it?
59
00:02:54,763 --> 00:02:55,931
ALL:
No!
60
00:02:55,931 --> 00:02:58,350
- That is the wrong kind of delivery!
61
00:03:00,352 --> 00:03:03,105
- Oh, Nelly! Oh!
[squishing]
62
00:03:03,105 --> 00:03:05,816
[screaming, groaning]
[splattering]
63
00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:07,609
[crew groans]
64
00:03:07,609 --> 00:03:09,486
- Life is disgusting.
65
00:03:09,486 --> 00:03:11,488
- No, it was beautiful.
66
00:03:11,488 --> 00:03:13,991
But I was so not prepared to be a mother.
67
00:03:13,991 --> 00:03:15,993
- In 20 years, they'll sprout legs
68
00:03:15,993 --> 00:03:18,871
and crawl back onto land as children.
69
00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:21,540
- I'll be ready then.
70
00:03:22,708 --> 00:03:25,210
- Well, Amy, are you ready now?
71
00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:27,087
- Having a family with you
72
00:03:27,087 --> 00:03:30,465
is the only thing
I want in the whole world.
73
00:03:30,465 --> 00:03:32,801
BENDER: Then can I have your car?
- No!
74
00:03:32,801 --> 00:03:34,553
- Too late. I already crashed it.
75
00:03:34,553 --> 00:03:35,971
[zooming]
76
00:03:35,971 --> 00:03:38,557
♪
77
00:03:38,557 --> 00:03:41,727
[creatures chirping]
78
00:03:41,727 --> 00:03:43,103
- Oh, this is so exciting!
79
00:03:43,103 --> 00:03:45,564
The birth ceremony will begin any minute.
80
00:03:45,564 --> 00:03:47,524
- Thanks for the warning.
81
00:03:48,483 --> 00:03:50,652
And don't describe it to me!
[car doors open]
82
00:03:50,652 --> 00:03:53,071
INEZ: We're here!
- Mom! Dad!
83
00:03:53,071 --> 00:03:55,282
Oh, I'm so glad you made it!
84
00:03:55,282 --> 00:03:58,118
- Oh, we wouldn't miss the birth
of our grandbabies
85
00:03:58,118 --> 00:03:59,745
for a million dollars.
86
00:03:59,745 --> 00:04:01,914
- 'Cause we're so rich,
that's like a penny.
87
00:04:01,914 --> 00:04:04,917
[bubbling, gurgling]
[Kif sputtering]
88
00:04:04,917 --> 00:04:07,544
- Oh, my. It's the Grand Midwife.
89
00:04:07,544 --> 00:04:10,088
- I am the Grand Midwife!
90
00:04:10,088 --> 00:04:11,757
- Big fan!
91
00:04:11,757 --> 00:04:14,051
- I am Kif of the clan Kroker.
92
00:04:14,051 --> 00:04:16,386
- I know. I recognize your head.
93
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:18,472
- And this is my smizmar, Amy.
94
00:04:18,472 --> 00:04:20,933
We have come to receive our offspring.
95
00:04:20,933 --> 00:04:23,227
- As you transition to parenthood,
96
00:04:23,227 --> 00:04:25,854
I shall be your counsel and guide.
97
00:04:25,854 --> 00:04:29,191
I do so out of solemn respect
for our traditions
98
00:04:29,191 --> 00:04:31,735
and not for any optional cash donation
99
00:04:31,735 --> 00:04:33,820
people sometimes place in that basket.
100
00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:35,197
- Thank you.
- It's green,
101
00:04:35,197 --> 00:04:37,449
and there's a little sign on it.
- Found it!
102
00:04:39,618 --> 00:04:42,871
- Then the Emergence shall now commence!
103
00:04:42,871 --> 00:04:45,415
[excited chattering]
104
00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:47,084
[chirping]
105
00:04:47,084 --> 00:04:49,670
Or not. It's unpredictable.
106
00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:52,714
Guess I'll have to wing it.
Anybody here from out of town?
107
00:04:52,714 --> 00:04:54,675
[splashing]
O-oh! Here they come.
108
00:04:54,675 --> 00:04:58,011
♪
109
00:04:58,011 --> 00:05:01,014
[bubbling, gurgling]
110
00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:06,186
- Oh my. I'm so anxious,
my camouflage reflex is kicking in.
111
00:05:06,186 --> 00:05:07,688
- No, it's helpful.
112
00:05:07,688 --> 00:05:10,190
I wanna look cute
for our hundreds of kids.
113
00:05:10,190 --> 00:05:11,775
♪
114
00:05:11,775 --> 00:05:15,153
- We shall now stand by,
without interfering,
115
00:05:15,153 --> 00:05:18,282
as we observe the sacred process
known as...
116
00:05:18,282 --> 00:05:19,700
the Winnowing.
117
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,118
- What's that mean?
118
00:05:21,118 --> 00:05:23,203
- It means don't start naming them yet.
119
00:05:23,203 --> 00:05:24,371
[cawing]
120
00:05:24,371 --> 00:05:26,373
♪
121
00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:28,333
[all gasp]
122
00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:31,753
[squawks]
123
00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:34,173
[chomp]
124
00:05:36,842 --> 00:05:40,179
♪
125
00:05:40,179 --> 00:05:41,680
- Four of them made it!
126
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:43,098
[snarling, crunching]
127
00:05:43,098 --> 00:05:44,725
Well, three and a half.
128
00:05:44,725 --> 00:05:47,269
- Young creatures
of the Black Lagoon,
129
00:05:47,269 --> 00:05:49,271
go now to your parents.
130
00:05:49,271 --> 00:05:52,816
[squishy footsteps]
131
00:05:52,816 --> 00:05:54,651
- Uh, can I help you?
132
00:05:54,651 --> 00:05:55,903
- Over here!
133
00:05:59,239 --> 00:06:02,242
[gasps] They're perfect.
134
00:06:02,242 --> 00:06:04,369
- Ew. She's touching them.
135
00:06:04,369 --> 00:06:07,372
- Cherish these children, Kif and Amy,
136
00:06:07,372 --> 00:06:09,541
for they are beautiful.
137
00:06:11,585 --> 00:06:12,586
BENDER:
Eh...
138
00:06:12,586 --> 00:06:15,547
- Well, in-in the sense that
all children are beautiful.
139
00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:18,675
[understanding chatter]
140
00:06:19,676 --> 00:06:22,429
♪
141
00:06:22,429 --> 00:06:24,056
[squishing]
142
00:06:24,932 --> 00:06:27,309
The transformation is complete!
143
00:06:27,309 --> 00:06:30,854
We welcome these new beings
of the land.
144
00:06:30,854 --> 00:06:32,564
[cheering, applause]
145
00:06:32,564 --> 00:06:35,067
- They can call me Captain Uncle.
146
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:38,487
- Uh, I'll go dispose of
this medical waste.
147
00:06:38,487 --> 00:06:40,781
With a little butter and lemon.
148
00:06:41,406 --> 00:06:43,617
- Want a picture with the kids?
- No need.
149
00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:45,786
The way they look
is burned into my mind.
150
00:06:45,786 --> 00:06:48,497
- They're nice, you know?
Just a kinda little--
151
00:06:48,497 --> 00:06:49,790
- Super gross.
152
00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:52,376
- But, you're finally grandparents.
153
00:06:52,376 --> 00:06:54,169
- That'll be our little secret.
154
00:06:55,629 --> 00:06:58,173
[car door opens, shuts]
[engine starts, whirring]
155
00:07:00,092 --> 00:07:03,095
♪
156
00:07:05,013 --> 00:07:06,890
PROFESSOR: Oh my.
157
00:07:09,017 --> 00:07:11,770
- Thanks for bringing the kids by
for my lunch break.
158
00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:14,064
- They're the sweetest thing on the menu.
159
00:07:14,064 --> 00:07:14,940
BENDER: Not even close!
160
00:07:16,441 --> 00:07:17,943
- Uh, question.
161
00:07:17,943 --> 00:07:20,946
These three babies
are totally different sizes.
162
00:07:21,780 --> 00:07:22,865
Question mark.
163
00:07:22,865 --> 00:07:25,200
- Oh, well, they grew at varying rates
164
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,786
depending on the temperature
of the water they were in.
165
00:07:27,786 --> 00:07:31,081
Little Newt here was in a cold, deep area.
166
00:07:31,081 --> 00:07:33,333
- Mama!
- Wrong again.
167
00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:34,459
[Newt cooing]
168
00:07:34,459 --> 00:07:37,170
- Mandy is from
the temperate middle depths.
169
00:07:37,170 --> 00:07:38,755
- He's shrively!
170
00:07:38,755 --> 00:07:41,133
- [laughs]
You haven't seen the half of it.
171
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:43,343
- And Axl is from the warm shallows,
172
00:07:43,343 --> 00:07:45,179
just like his old man.
173
00:07:45,179 --> 00:07:48,056
- [groans] Do you always
have to talk about me?
174
00:07:48,056 --> 00:07:50,517
- So why does this one
keep calling me Mama?
175
00:07:50,517 --> 00:07:52,269
And what's with the big weird eye?
176
00:07:52,269 --> 00:07:54,563
- It's not weird. It looks like yours.
177
00:07:54,563 --> 00:07:55,898
- [whispers]:
It's pretty weird.
178
00:07:55,898 --> 00:07:57,399
- Why would he look like me?
179
00:07:57,399 --> 00:07:58,859
- Don't you remember?
180
00:07:58,859 --> 00:08:01,570
Twenty years ago, you impregnated Kif.
181
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,906
- Seriously? Oh, my God.
182
00:08:03,906 --> 00:08:05,699
I must have been super drunk.
183
00:08:05,699 --> 00:08:09,077
- Leela, you bone brain!
You didn't have sex.
184
00:08:09,077 --> 00:08:11,079
- [laughs] Bone.
185
00:08:11,079 --> 00:08:13,498
- Luckily, there's an educational movie
186
00:08:13,498 --> 00:08:17,044
that explains how
Kif's species reproduces.
187
00:08:17,044 --> 00:08:18,795
And it's filthy.
188
00:08:18,795 --> 00:08:21,965
NARRATOR:
YowzaVision Educational Films
189
00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:25,469
presents Sex Across The Universe.
190
00:08:25,469 --> 00:08:28,305
BENDER:
Oh, yeah! Educate me, baby.
191
00:08:28,305 --> 00:08:30,557
NARRATOR:
This week, the Amphibiosans.
192
00:08:31,308 --> 00:08:33,852
For every organism across the universe,
193
00:08:33,852 --> 00:08:37,523
reproduction is a steamy, erotic process.
194
00:08:37,523 --> 00:08:40,108
Except the Amphibiosans.
195
00:08:40,108 --> 00:08:42,319
They just barely touch hands
196
00:08:42,319 --> 00:08:45,030
while the rest of us are gettin' it on.
197
00:08:45,030 --> 00:08:47,157
Yowza.
[hologram ends]
198
00:08:47,157 --> 00:08:48,575
BENDER:
Eh, that was pretty hot.
199
00:08:48,575 --> 00:08:51,203
- So, you see, Amy was my smizmar,
200
00:08:51,203 --> 00:08:54,790
the one whose mere presence
made me receptive to pregnancy.
201
00:08:54,790 --> 00:08:57,876
- Which makes me their smizmama.
202
00:08:57,876 --> 00:09:01,171
- But it was Lila who contributed the DNA
203
00:09:01,171 --> 00:09:04,216
when she accidentally touched Kif's hand.
204
00:09:04,216 --> 00:09:06,093
- Are you sure I wasn't drunk?
205
00:09:06,093 --> 00:09:08,679
I-I mean, I'm drunk now. [gulping]
206
00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:10,180
- Mwah!
207
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:11,849
- Ew! Mom, Dad!
208
00:09:11,849 --> 00:09:13,684
[burps]
Leela!
209
00:09:13,684 --> 00:09:17,521
♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪
210
00:09:18,188 --> 00:09:21,149
♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪
211
00:09:21,149 --> 00:09:23,527
♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪
212
00:09:23,527 --> 00:09:25,112
[crying]
213
00:09:25,112 --> 00:09:28,824
♪ Soon you'll grow, so take a chance ♪
214
00:09:28,824 --> 00:09:33,537
♪ With a couple of kooks
hung up on romancing ♪
215
00:09:34,288 --> 00:09:38,125
♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪
216
00:09:38,125 --> 00:09:41,712
♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪
217
00:09:41,712 --> 00:09:43,630
♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪
218
00:09:43,630 --> 00:09:45,257
[quacking]
219
00:09:45,257 --> 00:09:48,677
♪ Soon, you'll grow,
so take a chance ♪
220
00:09:48,677 --> 00:09:50,804
♪ With a couple of kooks ♪
221
00:09:50,804 --> 00:09:53,724
♪ Hung up on romancing ♪
222
00:09:53,724 --> 00:09:55,184
[cooing]
223
00:09:55,184 --> 00:09:56,560
[giggling]
224
00:09:57,477 --> 00:10:00,189
- Let's reinflate my head and go home.
225
00:10:00,189 --> 00:10:04,151
- Yeah. Maybe they'll conk out
and we'll get a little us time.
226
00:10:04,151 --> 00:10:07,613
[kids laughing]
[Kif gasping]
227
00:10:08,322 --> 00:10:09,948
[laughing]
[splattering]
228
00:10:09,948 --> 00:10:13,035
- [sighs] Those little guys are the best,
but they're a lot.
229
00:10:14,036 --> 00:10:16,538
- Well, luckily, there's two of us
to split the work.
230
00:10:17,789 --> 00:10:19,833
♪ Doop, doo-doo-doop,
doop, doop, doop, doop! ♪
231
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:22,002
- Captain Brannigan!
At your service, sir.
232
00:10:22,002 --> 00:10:25,380
- With ease, Lieutenant.
I have a bit of news to say at you.
233
00:10:25,380 --> 00:10:28,342
- Is it about the baby gifts you claim
you sent? Because we still haven't--
234
00:10:28,342 --> 00:10:30,093
- I'm afraid there's no time to discuss
235
00:10:30,093 --> 00:10:32,888
the many presents I bought,
some of which are large.
236
00:10:32,888 --> 00:10:35,224
Soldier, you are ordered
to report for duty.
237
00:10:35,224 --> 00:10:36,225
[Amy gasps]
238
00:10:36,225 --> 00:10:39,603
- Is it war?
- I hope so, but we're not sure.
239
00:10:39,603 --> 00:10:42,397
All we know is that DOOP
has lost radio contact
240
00:10:42,397 --> 00:10:46,026
with a remote outpost in Ursa Major.
Over and under.
241
00:10:46,026 --> 00:10:47,319
[beep]
[clattering]
242
00:10:47,319 --> 00:10:48,362
[groans]
243
00:10:48,362 --> 00:10:50,697
- I'm sorry you'll have
to handle the kids alone.
244
00:10:50,697 --> 00:10:52,199
- [scoffs] I'm not worried.
245
00:10:52,199 --> 00:10:53,200
[yelps]
246
00:10:53,742 --> 00:10:56,745
♪
247
00:10:58,747 --> 00:11:00,415
KIF:
I love you!
248
00:11:00,415 --> 00:11:02,417
[engines sputtering]
249
00:11:02,417 --> 00:11:04,169
[gears grinding]
250
00:11:04,169 --> 00:11:05,754
[sniffling]
251
00:11:05,754 --> 00:11:08,090
[Axl crying softly]
252
00:11:08,090 --> 00:11:10,467
[Mandy crying]
253
00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:13,804
[Newt crying loudly]
254
00:11:13,804 --> 00:11:16,807
[Amy wailing]
255
00:11:16,807 --> 00:11:20,561
[all sobbing]
256
00:11:21,562 --> 00:11:24,231
[out-of-tune shofar playing]
257
00:11:24,231 --> 00:11:26,108
- Roll call!
258
00:11:26,108 --> 00:11:29,570
"Four eyes." "One-eye." "Crab man."
259
00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:31,989
"Can man." "Who cares?"
260
00:11:31,989 --> 00:11:33,740
Dammit! Where's Amy?
261
00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,742
What do I need, a bigger antler?
262
00:11:35,742 --> 00:11:38,453
[door opens]
- Oh, I'm so, so sorry.
263
00:11:38,453 --> 00:11:40,122
The babysitter didn't show up.
264
00:11:40,122 --> 00:11:42,040
[phone ringing]
Ah!
265
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:45,210
- Finally. Where are you?
- Sorry, toots.
266
00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:46,879
I must have the address wrong.
267
00:11:46,879 --> 00:11:49,298
784 West 28th Street?
268
00:11:49,298 --> 00:11:52,050
Uh-huh.
Weird, th-that's what I got.
269
00:11:52,050 --> 00:11:53,844
Oh, Earth! Ah!
270
00:11:53,844 --> 00:11:56,513
Coulda swore you said Kepler 10B.
271
00:11:56,513 --> 00:11:58,015
[wind blowing]
272
00:11:58,015 --> 00:12:01,643
Guess I'll catch the next
generation ship back to Nutley.
273
00:12:01,643 --> 00:12:03,478
- Oh...
274
00:12:03,478 --> 00:12:06,607
- Mom, Mom, Mom! Can you judge
our whispering contest?
275
00:12:06,607 --> 00:12:08,108
[whispers]:
Okay. You ready?
276
00:12:08,108 --> 00:12:11,153
I lose! [laughing]
[Newt crying, Mandy yelling]
277
00:12:11,153 --> 00:12:12,487
Oh, come on! Oh--
278
00:12:12,487 --> 00:12:16,158
♪
279
00:12:16,158 --> 00:12:17,784
[burps, laughs]
280
00:12:17,784 --> 00:12:21,205
- Look at me, chugging
mineral water on a weeknight!
281
00:12:21,205 --> 00:12:23,248
So wild and free!
282
00:12:23,248 --> 00:12:24,291
♪
283
00:12:24,291 --> 00:12:25,334
[crying]
284
00:12:25,334 --> 00:12:27,377
I miss them so.
285
00:12:27,377 --> 00:12:29,296
- I feel you, soldier.
286
00:12:29,296 --> 00:12:32,257
And not in a handsy way this time.
287
00:12:32,257 --> 00:12:33,717
Mm. [smacking]
288
00:12:33,717 --> 00:12:35,093
Sticky...
289
00:12:36,011 --> 00:12:38,138
Bring a bowl
of these candies to my quarters
290
00:12:38,138 --> 00:12:39,515
when you're done crying.
291
00:12:39,515 --> 00:12:40,682
[hair rips]
292
00:12:40,682 --> 00:12:42,559
[kids laughing]
293
00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:45,103
- Thanks for offering
to watch the kids, Leela.
294
00:12:45,103 --> 00:12:48,190
I need a break so bad.
You have no idea.
295
00:12:48,190 --> 00:12:51,276
- No, it's clear you're a wreck,
and I get it.
296
00:12:51,276 --> 00:12:53,320
They're a nightmare.
[objects breaking]
297
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,864
A-A sweet, adorable nightmare.
298
00:12:55,864 --> 00:12:57,699
- That's fair. Kids!
299
00:12:57,699 --> 00:12:59,826
Mommy's gonna go nap-nap.
300
00:12:59,826 --> 00:13:01,995
Don't be scared of Leela. She's very--
301
00:13:01,995 --> 00:13:03,747
[Newt cheers]
MANDY: Yay! Mommy Leela!
302
00:13:03,747 --> 00:13:06,083
- Cowabunga, dude!
[kids giggling]
303
00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:09,127
♪
304
00:13:10,337 --> 00:13:13,131
- The Clump-O-Honeys you requested,
Capt-- Oh jeez.
305
00:13:13,131 --> 00:13:15,050
[humming]
[Kif sighs]
306
00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:17,886
If there's nothing further, I will--
- Oh no, you willn't.
307
00:13:17,886 --> 00:13:21,139
These delicious Clumps
aren't for eating. Mm!
308
00:13:21,139 --> 00:13:22,850
Mm...
309
00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:24,935
They're for manscaping.
310
00:13:24,935 --> 00:13:27,521
Manscape me, Kif. That's an order.
311
00:13:27,521 --> 00:13:29,773
[hair rips]
Owooga!
312
00:13:30,566 --> 00:13:32,818
NEWT: Ooh!
- Whoa! What's that?
313
00:13:32,818 --> 00:13:34,695
- I never saw one of those before,
314
00:13:34,695 --> 00:13:36,613
and I was born, like, four days ago.
315
00:13:36,613 --> 00:13:39,658
- It's a ship loader.
Any hyperactive kids here
316
00:13:39,658 --> 00:13:43,036
up for a nice, exhausting treadmill race?
[beep, whirring]
317
00:13:43,036 --> 00:13:46,456
- Oh wow! Cool! I mean, cool.
[Newt and Mandy cheering]
318
00:13:46,456 --> 00:13:48,458
- God, I hope this works.
319
00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:51,086
♪
320
00:13:51,086 --> 00:13:53,672
[snoring]
321
00:13:53,672 --> 00:13:54,673
[snorting]
322
00:13:55,716 --> 00:13:57,843
[yawns, stretches]
323
00:13:58,635 --> 00:14:02,055
[kids laughing]
324
00:14:04,308 --> 00:14:08,520
♪ somber music ♪
325
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,147
[sensors beeping]
326
00:14:10,147 --> 00:14:13,859
- Approaching the outpost, sir.
Still no response on any frequency.
327
00:14:13,859 --> 00:14:16,820
- My God.
What the hell happened down there?
328
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:19,573
It looks like the whole planet
has psoriasis.
329
00:14:19,573 --> 00:14:22,117
- You're looking at the back
of my head, sir.
330
00:14:22,117 --> 00:14:24,119
[shudders]
331
00:14:24,119 --> 00:14:26,622
♪
332
00:14:29,583 --> 00:14:31,084
[door whirring, clangs]
333
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:36,423
- Welcome to Exobiology Station 38.
334
00:14:36,924 --> 00:14:38,008
[clicking]
335
00:14:38,008 --> 00:14:40,219
- Dammit! I'm outta laser!
336
00:14:40,219 --> 00:14:43,305
- Um, hello, sir.
Is this outpost secure?
337
00:14:43,305 --> 00:14:46,225
The DOOP hasn't received
any response from you in months.
338
00:14:46,225 --> 00:14:48,727
- Oh, yeah.
Transmitter got ripped up by bears.
339
00:14:48,727 --> 00:14:50,020
[fizzling]
340
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,481
That's what we study here.
Bears. I'm a bear biologist.
341
00:14:52,481 --> 00:14:54,942
- Sounds like a fun job that pays bad.
342
00:14:54,942 --> 00:14:58,403
- I used to be a whale biologist,
but I hate whales.
343
00:14:58,403 --> 00:14:59,821
Hate them.
344
00:14:59,821 --> 00:15:02,366
- Well, then it's good you found
an animal you like.
345
00:15:02,366 --> 00:15:03,575
- Nope. Still looking.
346
00:15:03,575 --> 00:15:06,995
[bear growling, grunting]
This bear species is known as tardigrades.
347
00:15:06,995 --> 00:15:09,498
It's a fancy word for ugly.
348
00:15:09,498 --> 00:15:12,251
[roaring]
Oh, shut up, you stupid bear!
349
00:15:12,251 --> 00:15:13,794
They're also stupid, by the way.
350
00:15:13,794 --> 00:15:15,963
I discovered that. Bear biologist.
351
00:15:17,965 --> 00:15:19,883
♪
352
00:15:19,883 --> 00:15:21,218
[clicking]
353
00:15:21,218 --> 00:15:23,220
[zapping]
[shuddering]
354
00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:25,931
[hissing]
- I fixed the transmitter.
355
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:29,518
Now, may I please head home
to my family?
356
00:15:29,518 --> 00:15:31,854
- Without delay. But first,
357
00:15:31,854 --> 00:15:33,313
candy break?
358
00:15:33,313 --> 00:15:36,525
[chomping loudly]
359
00:15:36,525 --> 00:15:38,902
♪ dramatic music ♪
360
00:15:38,902 --> 00:15:40,737
- Are you bat crackers?
361
00:15:40,737 --> 00:15:43,282
If they smell human food,
they go bat crackers!
362
00:15:45,784 --> 00:15:48,745
[tardigrades growling]
363
00:15:48,745 --> 00:15:52,457
- It seems they recognize
a fellow apex predator.
364
00:15:52,457 --> 00:15:54,835
Well, four can play at that game.
365
00:15:56,086 --> 00:15:57,588
[confused grumbling]
366
00:15:57,588 --> 00:15:59,673
[screaming]
367
00:15:59,673 --> 00:16:02,301
Kif! Help!
368
00:16:03,093 --> 00:16:04,344
[Kif groans]
369
00:16:04,344 --> 00:16:05,888
[birds chirping]
[Leela imitating horse]
370
00:16:05,888 --> 00:16:08,599
[kids laugh]
AXL: Let's go! Faster! Faster!
371
00:16:08,599 --> 00:16:11,435
- Go, horseface, go!
[sighs]
372
00:16:11,435 --> 00:16:13,562
- [panting] Neigh!
373
00:16:14,396 --> 00:16:17,191
- Now, buy us ice cream!
[Leela sighs]
374
00:16:17,191 --> 00:16:20,194
♪
375
00:16:21,528 --> 00:16:24,364
Rum raisin tastes just like caterpillars!
376
00:16:24,364 --> 00:16:26,617
- We love you, Leela.
377
00:16:26,617 --> 00:16:29,786
- Aw, hell no!
You're not the mom of them!
378
00:16:29,786 --> 00:16:32,915
- What?
- Are you done spoiling my kids rotten
379
00:16:32,915 --> 00:16:34,666
so they'll love you more?
380
00:16:34,666 --> 00:16:36,835
- I'm just a beaten-down horse.
381
00:16:36,835 --> 00:16:39,755
- Well, you can trot back to the barn now!
382
00:16:39,755 --> 00:16:43,008
Kif's coming home soon,
and you are not their mom!
383
00:16:43,008 --> 00:16:45,677
- Uh, actually, I sort of am.
384
00:16:45,677 --> 00:16:47,679
- Go on! Git! Hyah!
385
00:16:50,098 --> 00:16:52,601
[Zapp screaming]
386
00:16:52,601 --> 00:16:55,103
[tardigrades growling quietly]
ZAPP: Oh God, they're nuzzling me!
387
00:16:55,103 --> 00:16:56,897
[phone ringing, click]
388
00:16:56,897 --> 00:16:58,815
- Hello?
[crying]
389
00:16:58,815 --> 00:17:01,443
- Please come home, Kiffy!
390
00:17:01,443 --> 00:17:04,863
The kids like Leela more than me,
and it really hurts.
391
00:17:04,863 --> 00:17:06,240
[sobbing]
392
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,992
I'm the worst mom ever.
393
00:17:08,992 --> 00:17:11,328
Except for my own mom.
394
00:17:11,328 --> 00:17:14,540
ZAPP: Stop licking my velour!
It's dry clean only!
395
00:17:14,540 --> 00:17:17,084
- Amy, darling, the children love you.
396
00:17:17,084 --> 00:17:18,669
And I love you.
397
00:17:18,669 --> 00:17:21,255
ZAPP:
And stay away from my scrotums!
398
00:17:21,255 --> 00:17:24,383
- You're their mother,
and you always will be.
399
00:17:24,383 --> 00:17:26,134
Nothing can change that.
400
00:17:26,134 --> 00:17:27,219
♪ dramatic sting ♪
401
00:17:27,219 --> 00:17:29,888
- Amy Wong, a challenge has been filed
402
00:17:29,888 --> 00:17:32,266
for the motherhood of these children.
403
00:17:32,266 --> 00:17:35,018
- No...
[static]
404
00:17:35,018 --> 00:17:36,937
- [breaking up]:
Amy? Amy, I'm coming home, I swear.
405
00:17:38,981 --> 00:17:41,233
I have to leave right now, sir!
406
00:17:41,233 --> 00:17:44,570
ZAPP: No, Kif! The DOOP
never leaves a man behind!
407
00:17:44,570 --> 00:17:45,988
Not when I'm the man!
408
00:17:45,988 --> 00:17:47,114
[groans]
409
00:17:47,114 --> 00:17:49,366
♪ dramatic music ♪
410
00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:55,581
- Alright, bears.
Daddy's coming to tuck you in...
411
00:17:55,581 --> 00:17:56,623
[shotgun cocks]
412
00:17:56,623 --> 00:17:58,292
...to your graves.
413
00:17:58,292 --> 00:18:00,085
[panting]
414
00:18:00,085 --> 00:18:01,503
♪ music crescendos ♪
415
00:18:01,503 --> 00:18:02,921
- I'll be out here.
416
00:18:03,922 --> 00:18:06,717
♪
417
00:18:06,717 --> 00:18:08,719
- Nobody's taking my babies!
418
00:18:08,719 --> 00:18:10,387
They're everything to me!
419
00:18:10,387 --> 00:18:13,390
- I appreciate your emotional
shouting in my ear hole,
420
00:18:13,390 --> 00:18:16,768
but I must intervene whenever parenthood
is called into question.
421
00:18:18,103 --> 00:18:19,396
- Grand Midwife?
422
00:18:19,396 --> 00:18:21,899
- Oh, drop the surprised act, Leela.
423
00:18:21,899 --> 00:18:24,276
How could you do this?
- Do what?
424
00:18:24,276 --> 00:18:27,112
Suck the jelly out of
the jelly donuts with a straw?
425
00:18:27,112 --> 00:18:30,365
- This jelly hound did not summon me.
The challenge is automatic
426
00:18:30,365 --> 00:18:33,911
when tests show the smizmar
contributed no DNA.
427
00:18:33,911 --> 00:18:35,954
[beep]
The children inherited genes
428
00:18:35,954 --> 00:18:37,789
only from Kif and Leela,
429
00:18:37,789 --> 00:18:40,667
plus trace DNA from a certain Scruffy.
430
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:43,670
[creaking]
- Scruffy's stuff gets around.
431
00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:45,255
[sniffles, groans]
432
00:18:45,255 --> 00:18:48,133
- Should the challenge indicate
someone else is the mother,
433
00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:49,384
then that person...
434
00:18:49,384 --> 00:18:51,553
eh, or whatever...
435
00:18:51,553 --> 00:18:53,055
shall raise the children.
436
00:18:53,055 --> 00:18:54,389
- But... But...
437
00:18:54,389 --> 00:18:58,393
- You and Kif must be present
for the challenge tomorrow. Good day.
438
00:18:58,393 --> 00:18:59,853
♪ music crescendos ♪
439
00:18:59,853 --> 00:19:02,356
Yeah, FYI,
y-you've got a little jelly right there.
440
00:19:03,315 --> 00:19:04,316
[door hisses]
441
00:19:04,316 --> 00:19:07,319
[tardigrades sniffing, grumbling]
442
00:19:07,319 --> 00:19:09,154
♪
443
00:19:09,863 --> 00:19:12,074
- Did somebody call an exterminator?
444
00:19:12,074 --> 00:19:13,700
♪
445
00:19:15,536 --> 00:19:17,204
[growling]
446
00:19:17,204 --> 00:19:18,830
[zapping, poofing]
447
00:19:20,332 --> 00:19:23,001
It's been a blast.
ZAPP: Help me, Kif!
448
00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:25,963
They found the secret candy in my girdle!
449
00:19:25,963 --> 00:19:27,464
[grunting]
450
00:19:27,464 --> 00:19:28,465
♪
451
00:19:28,465 --> 00:19:30,509
[sniffing, growling]
452
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,223
KIF:
I'm a camouflaged killing machine.
453
00:19:38,308 --> 00:19:40,102
[crying]
454
00:19:40,102 --> 00:19:41,311
- I'm...
455
00:19:41,311 --> 00:19:44,273
I'm sorry I got so jealous, Leela.
456
00:19:44,273 --> 00:19:47,317
I just kinda lost it.
- It's okay.
457
00:19:47,317 --> 00:19:50,612
The bond parents feel
with their kids is intense...
458
00:19:50,612 --> 00:19:51,905
so I hear.
459
00:19:51,905 --> 00:19:54,616
[video game beeping]
I'm just proud I helped you become a mom.
460
00:19:54,616 --> 00:19:55,742
[sniffling]
461
00:19:55,742 --> 00:19:58,036
[crying]
462
00:19:58,036 --> 00:20:00,163
I hope it works out for you tomorrow.
463
00:20:00,163 --> 00:20:01,832
- And if it doesn't,
464
00:20:01,832 --> 00:20:05,335
[sniffles] I'm sure
you'll take good care of them.
465
00:20:05,335 --> 00:20:07,588
[wailing]
466
00:20:08,088 --> 00:20:09,798
[sucking]
467
00:20:09,798 --> 00:20:12,634
- I refuse to die groveling.
468
00:20:12,634 --> 00:20:14,303
But I'm open to sniveling.
469
00:20:14,303 --> 00:20:15,304
[sniveling]
470
00:20:15,304 --> 00:20:17,306
♪
471
00:20:20,184 --> 00:20:21,810
[stabbing]
[tardigrades grunting]
472
00:20:24,646 --> 00:20:26,064
Naked Kif,
473
00:20:26,064 --> 00:20:27,482
you saved my life!
474
00:20:27,482 --> 00:20:29,443
You have my undying loyalty.
475
00:20:29,443 --> 00:20:30,694
[tardigrades growling]
476
00:20:30,694 --> 00:20:32,070
Eat Kif! He's boneless!
477
00:20:32,070 --> 00:20:34,031
[sniveling]
478
00:20:34,031 --> 00:20:35,782
[tardigrades roaring]
479
00:20:35,782 --> 00:20:37,326
♪
480
00:20:37,326 --> 00:20:39,494
- This one's for Axl, Mandy,
481
00:20:39,494 --> 00:20:41,121
and little what's-his-name.
482
00:20:41,121 --> 00:20:42,122
[gun cocks]
483
00:20:42,122 --> 00:20:45,542
[soft, high growling]
484
00:20:45,542 --> 00:20:47,961
♪
485
00:20:52,549 --> 00:20:54,468
[tardigrades growl]
486
00:20:56,428 --> 00:20:57,429
[shotgun cocks]
487
00:20:57,429 --> 00:20:58,555
[panting]
488
00:20:58,555 --> 00:21:00,265
[zapping]
489
00:21:00,265 --> 00:21:01,266
[yelps]
490
00:21:01,892 --> 00:21:03,894
♪
491
00:21:03,894 --> 00:21:07,523
- I am the Grand Midwife
from the other day,
492
00:21:07,523 --> 00:21:10,943
inquisitor for the challenge of Amy Wong.
493
00:21:10,943 --> 00:21:13,362
Amy, where is your smizmale?
494
00:21:13,362 --> 00:21:14,988
- He isn't with me.
495
00:21:14,988 --> 00:21:18,867
- Oh, the sorrow! Oh, the shame!
496
00:21:18,867 --> 00:21:20,327
- There he is!
497
00:21:20,327 --> 00:21:22,287
[helicopter whirring]
498
00:21:22,287 --> 00:21:24,581
- Okay, but it doesn't lessen the shame.
499
00:21:25,791 --> 00:21:27,668
- Kif!
- Amy!
500
00:21:27,668 --> 00:21:29,169
MANDY/AXL:
Daddy!
501
00:21:30,379 --> 00:21:32,256
- I don't remember him.
502
00:21:32,256 --> 00:21:34,383
- So, like, did you do war stuff?
503
00:21:34,383 --> 00:21:37,219
- I did what a Daddy had to do.
504
00:21:37,219 --> 00:21:38,262
♪
505
00:21:38,262 --> 00:21:41,014
[baby tardigrades growl]
506
00:21:42,224 --> 00:21:43,225
[shotgun cocks]
507
00:21:43,225 --> 00:21:45,936
- Bear number 23 was also stupid,
508
00:21:45,936 --> 00:21:49,231
fighting for scraps
while I dined on salmon tartare.
509
00:21:49,231 --> 00:21:51,149
[mocking chewing]
510
00:21:51,567 --> 00:21:53,569
None for you, losers! [laughs]
511
00:21:54,278 --> 00:21:55,737
[yelps]
512
00:21:57,155 --> 00:21:58,532
Oh!
513
00:21:58,532 --> 00:21:59,950
[splat]
514
00:21:59,950 --> 00:22:02,035
[tardigrades growl]
515
00:22:02,035 --> 00:22:04,746
♪ dramatic music ♪
516
00:22:05,289 --> 00:22:08,500
- The challenge may play out
over days or weeks
517
00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:11,879
within the brutal confines
of the Inquisidome.
518
00:22:11,879 --> 00:22:13,630
Some call it a tiki hut.
519
00:22:13,964 --> 00:22:16,925
- Leela's gonna watch you guys
while we're in there.
520
00:22:16,925 --> 00:22:18,051
[sniffles]
521
00:22:18,051 --> 00:22:20,095
And maybe a little longer.
522
00:22:20,470 --> 00:22:22,389
But whatever happens,
523
00:22:22,389 --> 00:22:24,391
you're going to be okay.
524
00:22:24,808 --> 00:22:25,809
[sniffles]
525
00:22:25,809 --> 00:22:27,561
- You are, too.
526
00:22:27,561 --> 00:22:30,564
[bubbling]
527
00:22:30,564 --> 00:22:33,567
♪
528
00:22:38,488 --> 00:22:41,074
- The challenge is
a challenging challenge,
529
00:22:41,074 --> 00:22:44,077
dating from when our language
had few words.
530
00:22:44,077 --> 00:22:46,872
It will incorporate
a battery of genetic tests
531
00:22:46,872 --> 00:22:49,875
and a full neuropsychological
obstacle course,
532
00:22:49,875 --> 00:22:52,878
but it begins with a simple question.
533
00:22:52,878 --> 00:22:54,046
Amy Wong.
534
00:22:54,046 --> 00:22:57,716
Do you or do you not love those children?
535
00:22:57,716 --> 00:23:00,719
♪
536
00:23:01,595 --> 00:23:04,640
- More than I knew I could love anything.
537
00:23:05,849 --> 00:23:07,851
- Which is all that truly matters.
538
00:23:08,894 --> 00:23:10,729
The challenge is over.
539
00:23:10,729 --> 00:23:12,314
You are their mother
540
00:23:12,314 --> 00:23:14,942
and always will be.
541
00:23:14,942 --> 00:23:15,943
[gasps]
542
00:23:17,653 --> 00:23:19,655
[creaking, cracking]
543
00:23:20,614 --> 00:23:22,574
Oops! That wasn't supposed to happen.
544
00:23:22,574 --> 00:23:24,409
Cheap, lousy wall.
545
00:23:24,409 --> 00:23:28,038
Children! You may now come hug
your mother and father.
546
00:23:28,038 --> 00:23:30,207
For only a small additional fee.
547
00:23:30,207 --> 00:23:33,794
[kids laughing]
548
00:23:33,794 --> 00:23:36,505
- You're my favorite mommy.
549
00:23:36,505 --> 00:23:39,049
♪
550
00:23:39,049 --> 00:23:40,884
[cork pops]
[sniffles]
551
00:23:40,884 --> 00:23:42,594
- Who wants treacle?
552
00:23:42,594 --> 00:23:45,264
[cooing]
553
00:23:45,681 --> 00:23:47,391
- Strong stuff, huh?
554
00:23:47,391 --> 00:23:48,433
[Leela sniffles]
555
00:23:49,268 --> 00:23:50,269
[clink]
556
00:23:50,269 --> 00:23:53,272
[Newt cooing]
557
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,362
♪
35901
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
