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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:45,547 --> 00:00:47,673 - Aw. He's using his jacket 2 00:00:47,674 --> 00:00:49,717 as some kind of security blanket. 3 00:00:49,718 --> 00:00:51,552 - That's so cute and pathetic. 4 00:00:51,553 --> 00:00:54,847 - It really is. You do you, weirdo! 5 00:00:54,848 --> 00:00:57,391 - Oh, hey, guys. I'm just sucking on my jacket. 6 00:00:57,392 --> 00:00:59,768 A Clump-O-Honey candy got stuck right there 7 00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:02,521 over a thousand years ago, and I can still taste it. 8 00:01:02,522 --> 00:01:04,940 - You know who I bet would like some of that? 9 00:01:04,941 --> 00:01:06,275 Me! Zoidberg. 10 00:01:08,153 --> 00:01:10,362 Oh, no! 11 00:01:10,363 --> 00:01:12,448 Zoidberg, you residue hog! 12 00:01:12,449 --> 00:01:14,658 Now all I taste is crab juice. 13 00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:16,869 - So, buy another jacket candy. 14 00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,913 - I can't. They stopped making it 15 00:01:18,914 --> 00:01:22,041 after it got reclassified as industrial glue. 16 00:01:22,042 --> 00:01:25,419 - Ah. Then I, Bender, will recreate the recipe. 17 00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:28,423 Don't forget, I came in third on MasterChef Junior. 18 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,511 - May I have a taste? 19 00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:37,306 - Sure. You seem like the kind of guy who has a mouth. 20 00:01:38,642 --> 00:01:41,810 - Whoa! Diabetic coma! 21 00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:44,731 - Hm. I better add some sugar to make it less sweet. 22 00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:49,068 - And just a touch of treacle 23 00:01:49,069 --> 00:01:52,196 to remind me of my dear departed Aunt Juanita. 24 00:01:52,197 --> 00:01:54,740 She drowned in treacle. 25 00:01:54,741 --> 00:01:57,743 - You know I'm dying on the floor. 26 00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:05,626 So, what do you think? 27 00:02:05,627 --> 00:02:08,963 - Mm! It's perfect, Bender. Totally jacket worthy. 28 00:02:08,964 --> 00:02:11,131 It's a little sticky. 29 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:12,925 It's a lot sticky! 30 00:02:14,594 --> 00:02:17,471 And there's something hard in it. 31 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:23,686 - Luckily, I'm an expert at fixing human beak bones. 32 00:02:23,687 --> 00:02:26,438 Are you free Friday for an expensive appointment? 33 00:02:26,439 --> 00:02:28,942 - Let me check. Open calendar! 34 00:02:30,569 --> 00:02:32,736 Shmeird. There's some old alert 35 00:02:32,737 --> 00:02:34,989 I set up 20 years ago. 36 00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:37,158 Our babies?! 37 00:02:38,785 --> 00:02:40,244 - It's time, my love. 38 00:02:40,245 --> 00:02:42,037 - Oh, Kif! 39 00:02:42,038 --> 00:02:43,706 - The hell are you talking about? 40 00:02:43,707 --> 00:02:46,041 Something to do with the meatbag life cycle? 41 00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:48,127 - That's right, Bender. Many years ago, 42 00:02:48,128 --> 00:02:50,546 I gave birth to a clutch of tadpoles 43 00:02:50,547 --> 00:02:52,339 with Amy by my side. 44 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,800 - I have video of the birth. Wanna see it? 45 00:02:54,801 --> 00:02:55,968 No! 46 00:02:55,969 --> 00:02:58,388 - That is the wrong kind of delivery! 47 00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:03,142 Oh, Nelly! Oh! 48 00:03:07,647 --> 00:03:09,523 - Life is disgusting. 49 00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:11,525 - No, it was beautiful. 50 00:03:11,526 --> 00:03:14,028 But I was so not prepared to be a mother. 51 00:03:14,029 --> 00:03:16,030 - In 20 years, they'll sprout legs 52 00:03:16,031 --> 00:03:18,909 and crawl back onto land as children. 53 00:03:19,618 --> 00:03:21,578 - I'll be ready then. 54 00:03:22,746 --> 00:03:25,247 - Well, Amy, are you ready now? 55 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,124 - Having a family with you 56 00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:30,502 is the only thing I want in the whole world. 57 00:03:30,503 --> 00:03:32,838 - Then can I have your car? - No! 58 00:03:32,839 --> 00:03:34,590 - Too late. I already crashed it. 59 00:03:41,765 --> 00:03:43,140 - Oh, this is so exciting! 60 00:03:43,141 --> 00:03:45,601 The birth ceremony will begin any minute. 61 00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:47,562 - Thanks for the warning. 62 00:03:48,521 --> 00:03:50,689 And don't describe it to me! 63 00:03:50,690 --> 00:03:53,108 - We're here! - Mom! Dad! 64 00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:55,319 Oh, I'm so glad you made it! 65 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,155 - Oh, we wouldn't miss the birth of our grandbabies 66 00:03:58,156 --> 00:03:59,782 for a million dollars. 67 00:03:59,783 --> 00:04:01,951 - 'Cause we're so rich, that's like a penny. 68 00:04:04,955 --> 00:04:07,581 - Oh, my. It's the Grand Midwife. 69 00:04:07,582 --> 00:04:10,125 - I am the Grand Midwife! 70 00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:11,794 - Big fan! 71 00:04:11,795 --> 00:04:14,088 - I am Kif of the clan Kroker. 72 00:04:14,089 --> 00:04:16,423 - I know. I recognize your head. 73 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,509 - And this is my smizmar, Amy. 74 00:04:18,510 --> 00:04:20,970 We have come to receive our offspring. 75 00:04:20,971 --> 00:04:23,264 - As you transition to parenthood, 76 00:04:23,265 --> 00:04:25,891 I shall be your counsel and guide. 77 00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:29,228 I do so out of solemn respect for our traditions 78 00:04:29,229 --> 00:04:31,772 and not for any optional cash donation 79 00:04:31,773 --> 00:04:33,857 people sometimes place in that basket. 80 00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:35,234 - Thank you. - It's green, 81 00:04:35,235 --> 00:04:37,487 and there's a little sign on it. - Found it! 82 00:04:39,656 --> 00:04:42,908 - Then the Emergence shall now commence! 83 00:04:47,122 --> 00:04:49,707 Or not. It's unpredictable. 84 00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:52,751 Guess I'll have to wing it. Anybody here from out of town? 85 00:04:52,752 --> 00:04:54,712 O-oh! Here they come. 86 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:06,223 - Oh my. I'm so anxious, my camouflage reflex is kicking in. 87 00:05:06,224 --> 00:05:07,725 - No, it's helpful. 88 00:05:07,726 --> 00:05:10,227 I wanna look cute for our hundreds of kids. 89 00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:15,190 - We shall now stand by, without interfering, 90 00:05:15,191 --> 00:05:18,319 as we observe the sacred process known as... 91 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,737 the Winnowing. 92 00:05:19,738 --> 00:05:21,155 - What's that mean? 93 00:05:21,156 --> 00:05:23,240 - It means don't start naming them yet. 94 00:05:40,217 --> 00:05:41,717 - Four of them made it! 95 00:05:43,136 --> 00:05:44,762 Well, three and a half. 96 00:05:44,763 --> 00:05:47,306 - Young creatures of the Black Lagoon, 97 00:05:47,307 --> 00:05:49,308 go now to your parents. 98 00:05:52,854 --> 00:05:54,688 - Uh, can I help you? 99 00:05:54,689 --> 00:05:55,941 - Over here! 100 00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:02,279 They're perfect. 101 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,406 - Ew. She's touching them. 102 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:07,409 - Cherish these children, Kif and Amy, 103 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,579 for they are beautiful. 104 00:06:11,623 --> 00:06:12,623 Eh... 105 00:06:12,624 --> 00:06:15,584 - Well, in-in the sense that all children are beautiful. 106 00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:27,346 The transformation is complete! 107 00:06:27,347 --> 00:06:30,891 We welcome these new beings of the land. 108 00:06:32,602 --> 00:06:35,104 - They can call me Captain Uncle. 109 00:06:35,105 --> 00:06:38,524 - Uh, I'll go dispose of this medical waste. 110 00:06:38,525 --> 00:06:40,819 With a little butter and lemon. 111 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,654 - Want a picture with the kids? - No need. 112 00:06:43,655 --> 00:06:45,823 The way they look is burned into my mind. 113 00:06:45,824 --> 00:06:48,534 - They're nice, you know? Just a kinda little... 114 00:06:48,535 --> 00:06:49,827 - Super gross. 115 00:06:49,828 --> 00:06:52,413 - But, you're finally grandparents. 116 00:06:52,414 --> 00:06:54,207 - That'll be our little secret. 117 00:07:05,051 --> 00:07:06,928 Oh my. 118 00:07:09,055 --> 00:07:11,807 - Thanks for bringing the kids by for my lunch break. 119 00:07:11,808 --> 00:07:14,101 - They're the sweetest thing on the menu. 120 00:07:14,102 --> 00:07:15,022 Not even close! 121 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:17,980 - Uh, question. 122 00:07:17,981 --> 00:07:20,984 These three babies are totally different sizes. 123 00:07:21,818 --> 00:07:22,902 Question mark. 124 00:07:22,903 --> 00:07:25,237 - Oh, well, they grew at varying rates 125 00:07:25,238 --> 00:07:27,823 depending on the temperature of the water they were in. 126 00:07:27,824 --> 00:07:31,118 Little Newt here was in a cold, deep area. 127 00:07:31,119 --> 00:07:33,370 - Mama! - Wrong again. 128 00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:37,207 - Mandy is from the temperate middle depths. 129 00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:38,792 - He's shrively! 130 00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:41,170 You haven't seen the half of it. 131 00:07:41,171 --> 00:07:43,380 - And Axl is from the warm shallows, 132 00:07:43,381 --> 00:07:45,216 just like his old man. 133 00:07:45,217 --> 00:07:48,093 Do you always have to talk about me? 134 00:07:48,094 --> 00:07:50,554 - So why does this one keep calling me Mama? 135 00:07:50,555 --> 00:07:52,306 And what's with the big weird eye? 136 00:07:52,307 --> 00:07:54,600 - It's not weird. It looks like yours. 137 00:07:54,601 --> 00:07:55,935 It's pretty weird. 138 00:07:55,936 --> 00:07:57,436 - Why would he look like me? 139 00:07:57,437 --> 00:07:58,896 - Don't you remember? 140 00:07:58,897 --> 00:08:01,607 Twenty years ago, you impregnated Kif. 141 00:08:01,608 --> 00:08:03,943 - Seriously? Oh, my God. 142 00:08:03,944 --> 00:08:05,736 I must have been super drunk. 143 00:08:05,737 --> 00:08:09,114 - Leela, you bone brain! You didn't have sex. 144 00:08:09,115 --> 00:08:11,116 Bone. 145 00:08:11,117 --> 00:08:13,535 - Luckily, there's an educational movie 146 00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:17,081 that explains how Kif's species reproduces. 147 00:08:17,082 --> 00:08:18,832 And it's filthy. 148 00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:22,002 YowzaVision Educational Films 149 00:08:22,003 --> 00:08:25,506 presents Sex Across The Universe. 150 00:08:25,507 --> 00:08:28,342 Oh, yeah! Educate me, baby. 151 00:08:28,343 --> 00:08:30,595 This week, the Amphibiosans. 152 00:08:31,346 --> 00:08:33,889 For every organism across the universe, 153 00:08:33,890 --> 00:08:37,560 reproduction is a steamy, erotic process. 154 00:08:37,561 --> 00:08:40,145 Except the Amphibiosans. 155 00:08:40,146 --> 00:08:42,356 They just barely touch hands 156 00:08:42,357 --> 00:08:45,067 while the rest of us are gettin' it on. 157 00:08:45,068 --> 00:08:47,194 Yowza. 158 00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:48,612 Eh, that was pretty hot. 159 00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:51,240 - So, you see, Amy was my smizmar, 160 00:08:51,241 --> 00:08:54,827 the one whose mere presence made me receptive to pregnancy. 161 00:08:54,828 --> 00:08:57,913 - Which makes me their smizmama. 162 00:08:57,914 --> 00:09:01,208 - But it was Lila who contributed the DNA 163 00:09:01,209 --> 00:09:04,253 when she accidentally touched Kif's hand. 164 00:09:04,254 --> 00:09:06,130 - Are you sure I wasn't drunk? 165 00:09:06,131 --> 00:09:08,716 I-I mean, I'm drunk now. 166 00:09:08,717 --> 00:09:10,217 - Mwah! 167 00:09:10,218 --> 00:09:11,886 - Ew! Mom, Dad! 168 00:09:11,887 --> 00:09:13,721 Leela! 169 00:09:13,722 --> 00:09:17,559 ♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪ 170 00:09:18,226 --> 00:09:21,186 ♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪ 171 00:09:21,187 --> 00:09:23,564 ♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪ 172 00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:28,861 ♪ Soon you'll grow, so take a chance ♪ 173 00:09:28,862 --> 00:09:33,575 ♪ With a couple of kooks hung up on romancing ♪ 174 00:09:34,326 --> 00:09:38,162 ♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪ 175 00:09:38,163 --> 00:09:41,749 ♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪ 176 00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:43,667 ♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪ 177 00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:48,714 ♪ Soon, you'll grow, so take a chance ♪ 178 00:09:48,715 --> 00:09:50,841 ♪ With a couple of kooks ♪ 179 00:09:50,842 --> 00:09:53,761 ♪ Hung up on romancing ♪ 180 00:09:57,515 --> 00:10:00,226 - Let's reinflate my head and go home. 181 00:10:00,227 --> 00:10:04,188 - Yeah. Maybe they'll conk out and we'll get a little us time. 182 00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:13,073 Those little guys are the best, but they're a lot. 183 00:10:14,074 --> 00:10:16,576 - Well, luckily, there's two of us to split the work. 184 00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:19,870 ♪ Doop, doo-doo-doop, doop, doop, doop, doop! ♪ 185 00:10:19,871 --> 00:10:22,039 - Captain Brannigan! At your service, sir. 186 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,417 - With ease, Lieutenant. I have a bit of news to say at you. 187 00:10:25,418 --> 00:10:28,379 - Is it about the baby gifts you claim you sent? Because we still haven't... 188 00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:30,130 - I'm afraid there's no time to discuss 189 00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:32,925 the many presents I bought, some of which are large. 190 00:10:32,926 --> 00:10:35,261 Soldier, you are ordered to report for duty. 191 00:10:36,263 --> 00:10:39,640 - Is it war? - I hope so, but we're not sure. 192 00:10:39,641 --> 00:10:42,434 All we know is that DOOP has lost radio contact 193 00:10:42,435 --> 00:10:46,063 with a remote outpost in Ursa Major. Over and under. 194 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,734 - I'm sorry you'll have to handle the kids alone. 195 00:10:50,735 --> 00:10:52,236 I'm not worried. 196 00:10:58,785 --> 00:11:00,452 I love you! 197 00:11:24,269 --> 00:11:26,145 - Roll call! 198 00:11:26,146 --> 00:11:29,607 "Four eyes." "One-eye." "Crab man." 199 00:11:29,608 --> 00:11:32,026 "Can man." "Who cares?" 200 00:11:32,027 --> 00:11:33,777 Dammit! Where's Amy? 201 00:11:33,778 --> 00:11:35,779 What do I need, a bigger antler? 202 00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:38,490 Oh, I'm so, so sorry. 203 00:11:38,491 --> 00:11:40,159 The babysitter didn't show up. 204 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,077 Ah! 205 00:11:42,078 --> 00:11:45,247 - Finally. Where are you? - Sorry, toots. 206 00:11:45,248 --> 00:11:46,916 I must have the address wrong. 207 00:11:46,917 --> 00:11:49,335 784 West 28th Street? 208 00:11:49,336 --> 00:11:52,087 Uh-huh. Weird, th-that's what I got. 209 00:11:52,088 --> 00:11:53,881 Oh, Earth! Ah! 210 00:11:53,882 --> 00:11:56,550 Coulda swore you said Kepler 10B. 211 00:11:58,053 --> 00:12:01,680 Guess I'll catch the next generation ship back to Nutley. 212 00:12:01,681 --> 00:12:03,515 - Oh... 213 00:12:03,516 --> 00:12:06,644 - Mom, Mom, Mom! Can you judge our whispering contest? 214 00:12:06,645 --> 00:12:08,145 Okay. You ready? 215 00:12:08,146 --> 00:12:11,190 I lose! 216 00:12:11,191 --> 00:12:12,524 Oh, come on! Oh... 217 00:12:17,822 --> 00:12:21,242 - Look at me, chugging mineral water on a weeknight! 218 00:12:21,243 --> 00:12:23,285 So wild and free! 219 00:12:25,372 --> 00:12:27,414 I miss them so. 220 00:12:27,415 --> 00:12:29,333 - I feel you, soldier. 221 00:12:29,334 --> 00:12:32,294 And not in a handsy way this time. 222 00:12:32,295 --> 00:12:33,754 Mm. 223 00:12:33,755 --> 00:12:35,131 Sticky... 224 00:12:36,049 --> 00:12:38,175 Bring a bowl of these candies to my quarters 225 00:12:38,176 --> 00:12:39,552 when you're done crying. 226 00:12:42,597 --> 00:12:45,140 - Thanks for offering to watch the kids, Leela. 227 00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:48,227 I need a break so bad. You have no idea. 228 00:12:48,228 --> 00:12:51,313 - No, it's clear you're a wreck, and I get it. 229 00:12:51,314 --> 00:12:53,357 They're a nightmare. 230 00:12:53,358 --> 00:12:55,901 A-A sweet, adorable nightmare. 231 00:12:55,902 --> 00:12:57,736 - That's fair. Kids! 232 00:12:57,737 --> 00:12:59,863 Mommy's gonna go nap-nap. 233 00:12:59,864 --> 00:13:02,032 Don't be scared of Leela. She's very... 234 00:13:02,033 --> 00:13:03,784 Yay! Mommy Leela! 235 00:13:03,785 --> 00:13:06,120 Cowabunga, dude! 236 00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:13,168 - The Clump-O-Honeys you requested, Capt... Oh jeez. 237 00:13:15,088 --> 00:13:17,923 If there's nothing further, I will... - Oh no, you willn't. 238 00:13:17,924 --> 00:13:21,176 These delicious Clumps aren't for eating. Mm! 239 00:13:21,177 --> 00:13:22,887 Mm... 240 00:13:22,888 --> 00:13:24,972 They're for manscaping. 241 00:13:24,973 --> 00:13:27,558 Manscape me, Kif. That's an order. 242 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:29,811 Owooga! 243 00:13:30,604 --> 00:13:32,855 - Ooh! - Whoa! What's that? 244 00:13:32,856 --> 00:13:34,732 - I never saw one of those before, 245 00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:36,650 and I was born, like, four days ago. 246 00:13:36,651 --> 00:13:39,695 - It's a ship loader. Any hyperactive kids here 247 00:13:39,696 --> 00:13:43,073 up for a nice, exhausting treadmill race? 248 00:13:43,074 --> 00:13:46,493 Oh wow! Cool! I mean, cool. 249 00:13:46,494 --> 00:13:48,495 - God, I hope this works. 250 00:14:10,185 --> 00:14:13,896 - Approaching the outpost, sir. Still no response on any frequency. 251 00:14:13,897 --> 00:14:16,857 - My God. What the hell happened down there? 252 00:14:16,858 --> 00:14:19,610 It looks like the whole planet has psoriasis. 253 00:14:19,611 --> 00:14:22,154 - You're looking at the back of my head, sir. 254 00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:36,461 - Welcome to Exobiology Station 38. 255 00:14:38,046 --> 00:14:40,256 - Dammit! I'm outta laser! 256 00:14:40,257 --> 00:14:43,342 - Um, hello, sir. Is this outpost secure? 257 00:14:43,343 --> 00:14:46,262 The DOOP hasn't received any response from you in months. 258 00:14:46,263 --> 00:14:48,764 - Oh, yeah. Transmitter got ripped up by bears. 259 00:14:50,058 --> 00:14:52,518 That's what we study here. Bears. I'm a bear biologist. 260 00:14:52,519 --> 00:14:54,979 - Sounds like a fun job that pays bad. 261 00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:58,440 - I used to be a whale biologist, but I hate whales. 262 00:14:58,441 --> 00:14:59,858 Hate them. 263 00:14:59,859 --> 00:15:02,403 - Well, then it's good you found an animal you like. 264 00:15:02,404 --> 00:15:03,612 - Nope. Still looking. 265 00:15:03,613 --> 00:15:07,032 This bear species is known as tardigrades. 266 00:15:07,033 --> 00:15:09,535 It's a fancy word for ugly. 267 00:15:09,536 --> 00:15:12,288 Oh, shut up, you stupid bear! 268 00:15:12,289 --> 00:15:13,831 They're also stupid, by the way. 269 00:15:13,832 --> 00:15:16,001 I discovered that. Bear biologist. 270 00:15:23,258 --> 00:15:25,969 I fixed the transmitter. 271 00:15:27,178 --> 00:15:29,555 Now, may I please head home to my family? 272 00:15:29,556 --> 00:15:31,891 - Without delay. But first, 273 00:15:31,892 --> 00:15:33,350 candy break? 274 00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:40,774 - Are you bat crackers? 275 00:15:40,775 --> 00:15:43,320 If they smell human food, they go bat crackers! 276 00:15:48,783 --> 00:15:52,494 - It seems they recognize a fellow apex predator. 277 00:15:52,495 --> 00:15:54,873 Well, four can play at that game. 278 00:15:59,711 --> 00:16:02,339 Kif! Help! 279 00:16:05,926 --> 00:16:08,636 Let's go! Faster! Faster! 280 00:16:08,637 --> 00:16:11,472 Go, horseface, go! 281 00:16:11,473 --> 00:16:13,600 Neigh! 282 00:16:14,434 --> 00:16:17,228 Now, buy us ice cream! 283 00:16:21,566 --> 00:16:24,401 Rum raisin tastes just like caterpillars! 284 00:16:24,402 --> 00:16:26,654 - We love you, Leela. 285 00:16:26,655 --> 00:16:29,823 - Aw, hell no! You're not the mom of them! 286 00:16:29,824 --> 00:16:32,952 - What? - Are you done spoiling my kids rotten 287 00:16:32,953 --> 00:16:34,703 so they'll love you more? 288 00:16:34,704 --> 00:16:36,872 - I'm just a beaten-down horse. 289 00:16:36,873 --> 00:16:39,792 - Well, you can trot back to the barn now! 290 00:16:39,793 --> 00:16:43,045 Kif's coming home soon, and you are not their mom! 291 00:16:43,046 --> 00:16:45,714 - Uh, actually, I sort of am. 292 00:16:45,715 --> 00:16:47,717 - Go on! Git! Hyah! 293 00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:55,140 Oh God, they're nuzzling me! 294 00:16:56,935 --> 00:16:58,852 Hello? 295 00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:01,480 - Please come home, Kiffy! 296 00:17:01,481 --> 00:17:04,900 The kids like Leela more than me, and it really hurts. 297 00:17:06,278 --> 00:17:09,029 I'm the worst mom ever. 298 00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:11,365 Except for my own mom. 299 00:17:11,366 --> 00:17:14,577 Stop licking my velour! It's dry clean only! 300 00:17:14,578 --> 00:17:17,121 - Amy, darling, the children love you. 301 00:17:17,122 --> 00:17:18,706 And I love you. 302 00:17:18,707 --> 00:17:21,292 And stay away from my scrotums! 303 00:17:21,293 --> 00:17:24,420 - You're their mother, and you always will be. 304 00:17:24,421 --> 00:17:26,171 Nothing can change that. 305 00:17:27,257 --> 00:17:29,925 - Amy Wong, a challenge has been filed 306 00:17:29,926 --> 00:17:32,303 for the motherhood of these children. 307 00:17:32,304 --> 00:17:35,055 No... 308 00:17:35,056 --> 00:17:37,096 Amy? Amy, I'm coming home, I swear. 309 00:17:39,019 --> 00:17:41,270 I have to leave right now, sir! 310 00:17:41,271 --> 00:17:44,607 No, Kif! The DOOP never leaves a man behind! 311 00:17:44,608 --> 00:17:46,025 Not when I'm the man! 312 00:17:52,157 --> 00:17:55,618 - Alright, bears. Daddy's coming to tuck you in... 313 00:17:56,661 --> 00:17:58,329 to your graves. 314 00:18:01,541 --> 00:18:02,959 - I'll be out here. 315 00:18:06,755 --> 00:18:08,756 - Nobody's taking my babies! 316 00:18:08,757 --> 00:18:10,424 They're everything to me! 317 00:18:10,425 --> 00:18:13,427 - I appreciate your emotional shouting in my ear hole, 318 00:18:13,428 --> 00:18:16,806 but I must intervene whenever parenthood is called into question. 319 00:18:18,141 --> 00:18:19,433 - Grand Midwife? 320 00:18:19,434 --> 00:18:21,936 - Oh, drop the surprised act, Leela. 321 00:18:21,937 --> 00:18:24,313 How could you do this? - Do what? 322 00:18:24,314 --> 00:18:27,149 Suck the jelly out of the jelly donuts with a straw? 323 00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:30,402 - This jelly hound did not summon me. The challenge is automatic 324 00:18:30,403 --> 00:18:33,948 when tests show the smizmar contributed no DNA. 325 00:18:33,949 --> 00:18:35,991 The children inherited genes 326 00:18:35,992 --> 00:18:37,826 only from Kif and Leela, 327 00:18:37,827 --> 00:18:40,704 plus trace DNA from a certain Scruffy. 328 00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:43,707 Scruffy's stuff gets around. 329 00:18:45,293 --> 00:18:48,170 - Should the challenge indicate someone else is the mother, 330 00:18:48,171 --> 00:18:49,421 then that person... 331 00:18:49,422 --> 00:18:51,590 eh, or whatever... 332 00:18:51,591 --> 00:18:53,092 shall raise the children. 333 00:18:53,093 --> 00:18:54,426 - But... But... 334 00:18:54,427 --> 00:18:58,430 - You and Kif must be present for the challenge tomorrow. Good day. 335 00:18:59,891 --> 00:19:02,394 Yeah, FYI, y-you've got a little jelly right there. 336 00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:12,111 - Did somebody call an exterminator? 337 00:19:20,370 --> 00:19:23,038 - It's been a blast. - Help me, Kif! 338 00:19:23,039 --> 00:19:26,000 They found the secret candy in my girdle! 339 00:19:33,758 --> 00:19:36,261 I'm a camouflaged killing machine. 340 00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:41,348 - I'm... 341 00:19:41,349 --> 00:19:44,310 I'm sorry I got so jealous, Leela. 342 00:19:44,311 --> 00:19:47,354 I just kinda lost it. - It's okay. 343 00:19:47,355 --> 00:19:50,649 The bond parents feel with their kids is intense... 344 00:19:50,650 --> 00:19:51,942 so I hear. 345 00:19:51,943 --> 00:19:54,653 I'm just proud I helped you become a mom. 346 00:19:58,074 --> 00:20:00,200 I hope it works out for you tomorrow. 347 00:20:00,201 --> 00:20:01,869 - And if it doesn't, 348 00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:05,372 I'm sure you'll take good care of them. 349 00:20:09,836 --> 00:20:12,671 - I refuse to die groveling. 350 00:20:12,672 --> 00:20:14,340 But I'm open to sniveling. 351 00:20:24,684 --> 00:20:26,101 Naked Kif, 352 00:20:26,102 --> 00:20:27,519 you saved my life! 353 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,480 You have my undying loyalty. 354 00:20:30,732 --> 00:20:32,107 Eat Kif! He's boneless! 355 00:20:37,364 --> 00:20:39,531 - This one's for Axl, Mandy, 356 00:20:39,532 --> 00:20:41,158 and little what's-his-name. 357 00:21:03,932 --> 00:21:07,560 - I am the Grand Midwife from the other day, 358 00:21:07,561 --> 00:21:10,980 inquisitor for the challenge of Amy Wong. 359 00:21:10,981 --> 00:21:13,399 Amy, where is your smizmale? 360 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,025 - He isn't with me. 361 00:21:15,026 --> 00:21:18,904 - Oh, the sorrow! Oh, the shame! 362 00:21:18,905 --> 00:21:20,364 - There he is! 363 00:21:22,325 --> 00:21:24,619 - Okay, but it doesn't lessen the shame. 364 00:21:25,829 --> 00:21:27,705 - Kif! - Amy! 365 00:21:27,706 --> 00:21:29,207 Daddy! 366 00:21:30,417 --> 00:21:32,293 - I don't remember him. 367 00:21:32,294 --> 00:21:34,420 - So, like, did you do war stuff? 368 00:21:34,421 --> 00:21:37,256 - I did what a Daddy had to do. 369 00:21:43,263 --> 00:21:45,973 - Bear number 23 was also stupid, 370 00:21:45,974 --> 00:21:49,268 fighting for scraps while I dined on salmon tartare. 371 00:21:51,605 --> 00:21:53,607 None for you, losers! 372 00:21:57,193 --> 00:21:58,569 Oh! 373 00:22:05,327 --> 00:22:08,537 - The challenge may play out over days or weeks 374 00:22:08,538 --> 00:22:11,916 within the brutal confines of the Inquisidome. 375 00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:13,668 Some call it a tiki hut. 376 00:22:14,002 --> 00:22:16,962 - Leela's gonna watch you guys while we're in there. 377 00:22:18,089 --> 00:22:20,133 And maybe a little longer. 378 00:22:20,508 --> 00:22:22,426 But whatever happens, 379 00:22:22,427 --> 00:22:24,429 you're going to be okay. 380 00:22:25,847 --> 00:22:27,598 - You are, too. 381 00:22:38,526 --> 00:22:41,111 - The challenge is a challenging challenge, 382 00:22:41,112 --> 00:22:44,114 dating from when our language had few words. 383 00:22:44,115 --> 00:22:46,909 It will incorporate a battery of genetic tests 384 00:22:46,910 --> 00:22:49,912 and a full neuropsychological obstacle course, 385 00:22:49,913 --> 00:22:52,915 but it begins with a simple question. 386 00:22:52,916 --> 00:22:54,083 Amy Wong. 387 00:22:54,084 --> 00:22:57,753 Do you or do you not love those children? 388 00:23:01,633 --> 00:23:04,678 - More than I knew I could love anything. 389 00:23:05,887 --> 00:23:07,889 - Which is all that truly matters. 390 00:23:08,932 --> 00:23:10,766 The challenge is over. 391 00:23:10,767 --> 00:23:12,351 You are their mother 392 00:23:12,352 --> 00:23:14,979 and always will be. 393 00:23:20,652 --> 00:23:22,611 Oops! That wasn't supposed to happen. 394 00:23:22,612 --> 00:23:24,446 Cheap, lousy wall. 395 00:23:24,447 --> 00:23:28,075 Children! You may now come hug your mother and father. 396 00:23:28,076 --> 00:23:30,244 For only a small additional fee. 397 00:23:33,832 --> 00:23:36,542 - You're my favorite mommy. 398 00:23:40,922 --> 00:23:42,631 - Who wants treacle? 399 00:23:45,719 --> 00:23:47,428 - Strong stuff, huh? 400 00:00:45,547 --> 00:00:47,673 - Aw. He's using his jacket 401 00:00:47,674 --> 00:00:49,717 as some kind of security blanket. 402 00:00:49,718 --> 00:00:51,552 - That's so cute and pathetic. 403 00:00:51,553 --> 00:00:54,847 - It really is. You do you, weirdo! 404 00:00:54,848 --> 00:00:57,391 - Oh, hey, guys. I'm just sucking on my jacket. 405 00:00:57,392 --> 00:00:59,768 A Clump-O-Honey candy got stuck right there 406 00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:02,521 over a thousand years ago, and I can still taste it. 407 00:01:02,522 --> 00:01:04,940 - You know who I bet would like some of that? 408 00:01:04,941 --> 00:01:06,275 Me! Zoidberg. 409 00:01:08,153 --> 00:01:10,362 Oh, no! 410 00:01:10,363 --> 00:01:12,448 Zoidberg, you residue hog! 411 00:01:12,449 --> 00:01:14,658 Now all I taste is crab juice. 412 00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:16,869 - So, buy another jacket candy. 413 00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,913 - I can't. They stopped making it 414 00:01:18,914 --> 00:01:22,041 after it got reclassified as industrial glue. 415 00:01:22,042 --> 00:01:25,419 - Ah. Then I, Bender, will recreate the recipe. 416 00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:28,423 Don't forget, I came in third on MasterChef Junior. 417 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,511 - May I have a taste? 418 00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:37,306 - Sure. You seem like the kind of guy who has a mouth. 419 00:01:38,642 --> 00:01:41,810 - Whoa! Diabetic coma! 420 00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:44,731 - Hm. I better add some sugar to make it less sweet. 421 00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:49,068 - And just a touch of treacle 422 00:01:49,069 --> 00:01:52,196 to remind me of my dear departed Aunt Juanita. 423 00:01:52,197 --> 00:01:54,740 She drowned in treacle. 424 00:01:54,741 --> 00:01:57,743 - You know I'm dying on the floor. 425 00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:05,626 So, what do you think? 426 00:02:05,627 --> 00:02:08,963 - Mm! It's perfect, Bender. Totally jacket worthy. 427 00:02:08,964 --> 00:02:11,131 It's a little sticky. 428 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:12,925 It's a lot sticky! 429 00:02:14,594 --> 00:02:17,471 And there's something hard in it. 430 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:23,686 - Luckily, I'm an expert at fixing human beak bones. 431 00:02:23,687 --> 00:02:26,438 Are you free Friday for an expensive appointment? 432 00:02:26,439 --> 00:02:28,942 - Let me check. Open calendar! 433 00:02:30,569 --> 00:02:32,736 Shmeird. There's some old alert 434 00:02:32,737 --> 00:02:34,989 I set up 20 years ago. 435 00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:37,158 Our babies?! 436 00:02:38,785 --> 00:02:40,244 - It's time, my love. 437 00:02:40,245 --> 00:02:42,037 - Oh, Kif! 438 00:02:42,038 --> 00:02:43,706 - The hell are you talking about? 439 00:02:43,707 --> 00:02:46,041 Something to do with the meatbag life cycle? 440 00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:48,127 - That's right, Bender. Many years ago, 441 00:02:48,128 --> 00:02:50,546 I gave birth to a clutch of tadpoles 442 00:02:50,547 --> 00:02:52,339 with Amy by my side. 443 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,800 - I have video of the birth. Wanna see it? 444 00:02:54,801 --> 00:02:55,968 No! 445 00:02:55,969 --> 00:02:58,388 - That is the wrong kind of delivery! 446 00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:03,142 Oh, Nelly! Oh! 447 00:03:07,647 --> 00:03:09,523 - Life is disgusting. 448 00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:11,525 - No, it was beautiful. 449 00:03:11,526 --> 00:03:14,028 But I was so not prepared to be a mother. 450 00:03:14,029 --> 00:03:16,030 - In 20 years, they'll sprout legs 451 00:03:16,031 --> 00:03:18,909 and crawl back onto land as children. 452 00:03:19,618 --> 00:03:21,578 - I'll be ready then. 453 00:03:22,746 --> 00:03:25,247 - Well, Amy, are you ready now? 454 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,124 - Having a family with you 455 00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:30,502 is the only thing I want in the whole world. 456 00:03:30,503 --> 00:03:32,838 - Then can I have your car? - No! 457 00:03:32,839 --> 00:03:34,590 - Too late. I already crashed it. 458 00:03:41,765 --> 00:03:43,140 - Oh, this is so exciting! 459 00:03:43,141 --> 00:03:45,601 The birth ceremony will begin any minute. 460 00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:47,562 - Thanks for the warning. 461 00:03:48,521 --> 00:03:50,689 And don't describe it to me! 462 00:03:50,690 --> 00:03:53,108 - We're here! - Mom! Dad! 463 00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:55,319 Oh, I'm so glad you made it! 464 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,155 - Oh, we wouldn't miss the birth of our grandbabies 465 00:03:58,156 --> 00:03:59,782 for a million dollars. 466 00:03:59,783 --> 00:04:01,951 - 'Cause we're so rich, that's like a penny. 467 00:04:04,955 --> 00:04:07,581 - Oh, my. It's the Grand Midwife. 468 00:04:07,582 --> 00:04:10,125 - I am the Grand Midwife! 469 00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:11,794 - Big fan! 470 00:04:11,795 --> 00:04:14,088 - I am Kif of the clan Kroker. 471 00:04:14,089 --> 00:04:16,423 - I know. I recognize your head. 472 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,509 - And this is my smizmar, Amy. 473 00:04:18,510 --> 00:04:20,970 We have come to receive our offspring. 474 00:04:20,971 --> 00:04:23,264 - As you transition to parenthood, 475 00:04:23,265 --> 00:04:25,891 I shall be your counsel and guide. 476 00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:29,228 I do so out of solemn respect for our traditions 477 00:04:29,229 --> 00:04:31,772 and not for any optional cash donation 478 00:04:31,773 --> 00:04:33,857 people sometimes place in that basket. 479 00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:35,234 - Thank you. - It's green, 480 00:04:35,235 --> 00:04:37,487 and there's a little sign on it. - Found it! 481 00:04:39,656 --> 00:04:42,908 - Then the Emergence shall now commence! 482 00:04:47,122 --> 00:04:49,707 Or not. It's unpredictable. 483 00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:52,751 Guess I'll have to wing it. Anybody here from out of town? 484 00:04:52,752 --> 00:04:54,712 O-oh! Here they come. 485 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:06,223 - Oh my. I'm so anxious, my camouflage reflex is kicking in. 486 00:05:06,224 --> 00:05:07,725 - No, it's helpful. 487 00:05:07,726 --> 00:05:10,227 I wanna look cute for our hundreds of kids. 488 00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:15,190 - We shall now stand by, without interfering, 489 00:05:15,191 --> 00:05:18,319 as we observe the sacred process known as... 490 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,737 the Winnowing. 491 00:05:19,738 --> 00:05:21,155 - What's that mean? 492 00:05:21,156 --> 00:05:23,240 - It means don't start naming them yet. 493 00:05:40,217 --> 00:05:41,717 - Four of them made it! 494 00:05:43,136 --> 00:05:44,762 Well, three and a half. 495 00:05:44,763 --> 00:05:47,306 - Young creatures of the Black Lagoon, 496 00:05:47,307 --> 00:05:49,308 go now to your parents. 497 00:05:52,854 --> 00:05:54,688 - Uh, can I help you? 498 00:05:54,689 --> 00:05:55,941 - Over here! 499 00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:02,279 They're perfect. 500 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,406 - Ew. She's touching them. 501 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:07,409 - Cherish these children, Kif and Amy, 502 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,579 for they are beautiful. 503 00:06:11,623 --> 00:06:12,623 Eh... 504 00:06:12,624 --> 00:06:15,584 - Well, in-in the sense that all children are beautiful. 505 00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:27,346 The transformation is complete! 506 00:06:27,347 --> 00:06:30,891 We welcome these new beings of the land. 507 00:06:32,602 --> 00:06:35,104 - They can call me Captain Uncle. 508 00:06:35,105 --> 00:06:38,524 - Uh, I'll go dispose of this medical waste. 509 00:06:38,525 --> 00:06:40,819 With a little butter and lemon. 510 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,654 - Want a picture with the kids? - No need. 511 00:06:43,655 --> 00:06:45,823 The way they look is burned into my mind. 512 00:06:45,824 --> 00:06:48,534 - They're nice, you know? Just a kinda little... 513 00:06:48,535 --> 00:06:49,827 - Super gross. 514 00:06:49,828 --> 00:06:52,413 - But, you're finally grandparents. 515 00:06:52,414 --> 00:06:54,207 - That'll be our little secret. 516 00:07:05,051 --> 00:07:06,928 Oh my. 517 00:07:09,055 --> 00:07:11,807 - Thanks for bringing the kids by for my lunch break. 518 00:07:11,808 --> 00:07:14,101 - They're the sweetest thing on the menu. 519 00:07:14,102 --> 00:07:15,022 Not even close! 520 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:17,980 - Uh, question. 521 00:07:17,981 --> 00:07:20,984 These three babies are totally different sizes. 522 00:07:21,818 --> 00:07:22,902 Question mark. 523 00:07:22,903 --> 00:07:25,237 - Oh, well, they grew at varying rates 524 00:07:25,238 --> 00:07:27,823 depending on the temperature of the water they were in. 525 00:07:27,824 --> 00:07:31,118 Little Newt here was in a cold, deep area. 526 00:07:31,119 --> 00:07:33,370 - Mama! - Wrong again. 527 00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:37,207 - Mandy is from the temperate middle depths. 528 00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:38,792 - He's shrively! 529 00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:41,170 You haven't seen the half of it. 530 00:07:41,171 --> 00:07:43,380 - And Axl is from the warm shallows, 531 00:07:43,381 --> 00:07:45,216 just like his old man. 532 00:07:45,217 --> 00:07:48,093 Do you always have to talk about me? 533 00:07:48,094 --> 00:07:50,554 - So why does this one keep calling me Mama? 534 00:07:50,555 --> 00:07:52,306 And what's with the big weird eye? 535 00:07:52,307 --> 00:07:54,600 - It's not weird. It looks like yours. 536 00:07:54,601 --> 00:07:55,935 It's pretty weird. 537 00:07:55,936 --> 00:07:57,436 - Why would he look like me? 538 00:07:57,437 --> 00:07:58,896 - Don't you remember? 539 00:07:58,897 --> 00:08:01,607 Twenty years ago, you impregnated Kif. 540 00:08:01,608 --> 00:08:03,943 - Seriously? Oh, my God. 541 00:08:03,944 --> 00:08:05,736 I must have been super drunk. 542 00:08:05,737 --> 00:08:09,114 - Leela, you bone brain! You didn't have sex. 543 00:08:09,115 --> 00:08:11,116 Bone. 544 00:08:11,117 --> 00:08:13,535 - Luckily, there's an educational movie 545 00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:17,081 that explains how Kif's species reproduces. 546 00:08:17,082 --> 00:08:18,832 And it's filthy. 547 00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:22,002 YowzaVision Educational Films 548 00:08:22,003 --> 00:08:25,506 presents Sex Across The Universe. 549 00:08:25,507 --> 00:08:28,342 Oh, yeah! Educate me, baby. 550 00:08:28,343 --> 00:08:30,595 This week, the Amphibiosans. 551 00:08:31,346 --> 00:08:33,889 For every organism across the universe, 552 00:08:33,890 --> 00:08:37,560 reproduction is a steamy, erotic process. 553 00:08:37,561 --> 00:08:40,145 Except the Amphibiosans. 554 00:08:40,146 --> 00:08:42,356 They just barely touch hands 555 00:08:42,357 --> 00:08:45,067 while the rest of us are gettin' it on. 556 00:08:45,068 --> 00:08:47,194 Yowza. 557 00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:48,612 Eh, that was pretty hot. 558 00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:51,240 - So, you see, Amy was my smizmar, 559 00:08:51,241 --> 00:08:54,827 the one whose mere presence made me receptive to pregnancy. 560 00:08:54,828 --> 00:08:57,913 - Which makes me their smizmama. 561 00:08:57,914 --> 00:09:01,208 - But it was Lila who contributed the DNA 562 00:09:01,209 --> 00:09:04,253 when she accidentally touched Kif's hand. 563 00:09:04,254 --> 00:09:06,130 - Are you sure I wasn't drunk? 564 00:09:06,131 --> 00:09:08,716 I-I mean, I'm drunk now. 565 00:09:08,717 --> 00:09:10,217 - Mwah! 566 00:09:10,218 --> 00:09:11,886 - Ew! Mom, Dad! 567 00:09:11,887 --> 00:09:13,721 Leela! 568 00:09:13,722 --> 00:09:17,559 ♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪ 569 00:09:18,226 --> 00:09:21,186 ♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪ 570 00:09:21,187 --> 00:09:23,564 ♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪ 571 00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:28,861 ♪ Soon you'll grow, so take a chance ♪ 572 00:09:28,862 --> 00:09:33,575 ♪ With a couple of kooks hung up on romancing ♪ 573 00:09:34,326 --> 00:09:38,162 ♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪ 574 00:09:38,163 --> 00:09:41,749 ♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪ 575 00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:43,667 ♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪ 576 00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:48,714 ♪ Soon, you'll grow, so take a chance ♪ 577 00:09:48,715 --> 00:09:50,841 ♪ With a couple of kooks ♪ 578 00:09:50,842 --> 00:09:53,761 ♪ Hung up on romancing ♪ 579 00:09:57,515 --> 00:10:00,226 - Let's reinflate my head and go home. 580 00:10:00,227 --> 00:10:04,188 - Yeah. Maybe they'll conk out and we'll get a little us time. 581 00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:13,073 Those little guys are the best, but they're a lot. 582 00:10:14,074 --> 00:10:16,576 - Well, luckily, there's two of us to split the work. 583 00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:19,870 ♪ Doop, doo-doo-doop, doop, doop, doop, doop! ♪ 584 00:10:19,871 --> 00:10:22,039 - Captain Brannigan! At your service, sir. 585 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,417 - With ease, Lieutenant. I have a bit of news to say at you. 586 00:10:25,418 --> 00:10:28,379 - Is it about the baby gifts you claim you sent? Because we still haven't... 587 00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:30,130 - I'm afraid there's no time to discuss 588 00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:32,925 the many presents I bought, some of which are large. 589 00:10:32,926 --> 00:10:35,261 Soldier, you are ordered to report for duty. 590 00:10:36,263 --> 00:10:39,640 - Is it war? - I hope so, but we're not sure. 591 00:10:39,641 --> 00:10:42,434 All we know is that DOOP has lost radio contact 592 00:10:42,435 --> 00:10:46,063 with a remote outpost in Ursa Major. Over and under. 593 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,734 - I'm sorry you'll have to handle the kids alone. 594 00:10:50,735 --> 00:10:52,236 I'm not worried. 595 00:10:58,785 --> 00:11:00,452 I love you! 596 00:11:24,269 --> 00:11:26,145 - Roll call! 597 00:11:26,146 --> 00:11:29,607 "Four eyes." "One-eye." "Crab man." 598 00:11:29,608 --> 00:11:32,026 "Can man." "Who cares?" 599 00:11:32,027 --> 00:11:33,777 Dammit! Where's Amy? 600 00:11:33,778 --> 00:11:35,779 What do I need, a bigger antler? 601 00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:38,490 Oh, I'm so, so sorry. 602 00:11:38,491 --> 00:11:40,159 The babysitter didn't show up. 603 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,077 Ah! 604 00:11:42,078 --> 00:11:45,247 - Finally. Where are you? - Sorry, toots. 605 00:11:45,248 --> 00:11:46,916 I must have the address wrong. 606 00:11:46,917 --> 00:11:49,335 784 West 28th Street? 607 00:11:49,336 --> 00:11:52,087 Uh-huh. Weird, th-that's what I got. 608 00:11:52,088 --> 00:11:53,881 Oh, Earth! Ah! 609 00:11:53,882 --> 00:11:56,550 Coulda swore you said Kepler 10B. 610 00:11:58,053 --> 00:12:01,680 Guess I'll catch the next generation ship back to Nutley. 611 00:12:01,681 --> 00:12:03,515 - Oh... 612 00:12:03,516 --> 00:12:06,644 - Mom, Mom, Mom! Can you judge our whispering contest? 613 00:12:06,645 --> 00:12:08,145 Okay. You ready? 614 00:12:08,146 --> 00:12:11,190 I lose! 615 00:12:11,191 --> 00:12:12,524 Oh, come on! Oh... 616 00:12:17,822 --> 00:12:21,242 - Look at me, chugging mineral water on a weeknight! 617 00:12:21,243 --> 00:12:23,285 So wild and free! 618 00:12:25,372 --> 00:12:27,414 I miss them so. 619 00:12:27,415 --> 00:12:29,333 - I feel you, soldier. 620 00:12:29,334 --> 00:12:32,294 And not in a handsy way this time. 621 00:12:32,295 --> 00:12:33,754 Mm. 622 00:12:33,755 --> 00:12:35,131 Sticky... 623 00:12:36,049 --> 00:12:38,175 Bring a bowl of these candies to my quarters 624 00:12:38,176 --> 00:12:39,552 when you're done crying. 625 00:12:42,597 --> 00:12:45,140 - Thanks for offering to watch the kids, Leela. 626 00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:48,227 I need a break so bad. You have no idea. 627 00:12:48,228 --> 00:12:51,313 - No, it's clear you're a wreck, and I get it. 628 00:12:51,314 --> 00:12:53,357 They're a nightmare. 629 00:12:53,358 --> 00:12:55,901 A-A sweet, adorable nightmare. 630 00:12:55,902 --> 00:12:57,736 - That's fair. Kids! 631 00:12:57,737 --> 00:12:59,863 Mommy's gonna go nap-nap. 632 00:12:59,864 --> 00:13:02,032 Don't be scared of Leela. She's very... 633 00:13:02,033 --> 00:13:03,784 Yay! Mommy Leela! 634 00:13:03,785 --> 00:13:06,120 Cowabunga, dude! 635 00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:13,168 - The Clump-O-Honeys you requested, Capt... Oh jeez. 636 00:13:15,088 --> 00:13:17,923 If there's nothing further, I will... - Oh no, you willn't. 637 00:13:17,924 --> 00:13:21,176 These delicious Clumps aren't for eating. Mm! 638 00:13:21,177 --> 00:13:22,887 Mm... 639 00:13:22,888 --> 00:13:24,972 They're for manscaping. 640 00:13:24,973 --> 00:13:27,558 Manscape me, Kif. That's an order. 641 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:29,811 Owooga! 642 00:13:30,604 --> 00:13:32,855 - Ooh! - Whoa! What's that? 643 00:13:32,856 --> 00:13:34,732 - I never saw one of those before, 644 00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:36,650 and I was born, like, four days ago. 645 00:13:36,651 --> 00:13:39,695 - It's a ship loader. Any hyperactive kids here 646 00:13:39,696 --> 00:13:43,073 up for a nice, exhausting treadmill race? 647 00:13:43,074 --> 00:13:46,493 Oh wow! Cool! I mean, cool. 648 00:13:46,494 --> 00:13:48,495 - God, I hope this works. 649 00:14:10,185 --> 00:14:13,896 - Approaching the outpost, sir. Still no response on any frequency. 650 00:14:13,897 --> 00:14:16,857 - My God. What the hell happened down there? 651 00:14:16,858 --> 00:14:19,610 It looks like the whole planet has psoriasis. 652 00:14:19,611 --> 00:14:22,154 - You're looking at the back of my head, sir. 653 00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:36,461 - Welcome to Exobiology Station 38. 654 00:14:38,046 --> 00:14:40,256 - Dammit! I'm outta laser! 655 00:14:40,257 --> 00:14:43,342 - Um, hello, sir. Is this outpost secure? 656 00:14:43,343 --> 00:14:46,262 The DOOP hasn't received any response from you in months. 657 00:14:46,263 --> 00:14:48,764 - Oh, yeah. Transmitter got ripped up by bears. 658 00:14:50,058 --> 00:14:52,518 That's what we study here. Bears. I'm a bear biologist. 659 00:14:52,519 --> 00:14:54,979 - Sounds like a fun job that pays bad. 660 00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:58,440 - I used to be a whale biologist, but I hate whales. 661 00:14:58,441 --> 00:14:59,858 Hate them. 662 00:14:59,859 --> 00:15:02,403 - Well, then it's good you found an animal you like. 663 00:15:02,404 --> 00:15:03,612 - Nope. Still looking. 664 00:15:03,613 --> 00:15:07,032 This bear species is known as tardigrades. 665 00:15:07,033 --> 00:15:09,535 It's a fancy word for ugly. 666 00:15:09,536 --> 00:15:12,288 Oh, shut up, you stupid bear! 667 00:15:12,289 --> 00:15:13,831 They're also stupid, by the way. 668 00:15:13,832 --> 00:15:16,001 I discovered that. Bear biologist. 669 00:15:23,258 --> 00:15:25,969 I fixed the transmitter. 670 00:15:27,178 --> 00:15:29,555 Now, may I please head home to my family? 671 00:15:29,556 --> 00:15:31,891 - Without delay. But first, 672 00:15:31,892 --> 00:15:33,350 candy break? 673 00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:40,774 - Are you bat crackers? 674 00:15:40,775 --> 00:15:43,320 If they smell human food, they go bat crackers! 675 00:15:48,783 --> 00:15:52,494 - It seems they recognize a fellow apex predator. 676 00:15:52,495 --> 00:15:54,873 Well, four can play at that game. 677 00:15:59,711 --> 00:16:02,339 Kif! Help! 678 00:16:05,926 --> 00:16:08,636 Let's go! Faster! Faster! 679 00:16:08,637 --> 00:16:11,472 Go, horseface, go! 680 00:16:11,473 --> 00:16:13,600 Neigh! 681 00:16:14,434 --> 00:16:17,228 Now, buy us ice cream! 682 00:16:21,566 --> 00:16:24,401 Rum raisin tastes just like caterpillars! 683 00:16:24,402 --> 00:16:26,654 - We love you, Leela. 684 00:16:26,655 --> 00:16:29,823 - Aw, hell no! You're not the mom of them! 685 00:16:29,824 --> 00:16:32,952 - What? - Are you done spoiling my kids rotten 686 00:16:32,953 --> 00:16:34,703 so they'll love you more? 687 00:16:34,704 --> 00:16:36,872 - I'm just a beaten-down horse. 688 00:16:36,873 --> 00:16:39,792 - Well, you can trot back to the barn now! 689 00:16:39,793 --> 00:16:43,045 Kif's coming home soon, and you are not their mom! 690 00:16:43,046 --> 00:16:45,714 - Uh, actually, I sort of am. 691 00:16:45,715 --> 00:16:47,717 - Go on! Git! Hyah! 692 00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:55,140 Oh God, they're nuzzling me! 693 00:16:56,935 --> 00:16:58,852 Hello? 694 00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:01,480 - Please come home, Kiffy! 695 00:17:01,481 --> 00:17:04,900 The kids like Leela more than me, and it really hurts. 696 00:17:06,278 --> 00:17:09,029 I'm the worst mom ever. 697 00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:11,365 Except for my own mom. 698 00:17:11,366 --> 00:17:14,577 Stop licking my velour! It's dry clean only! 699 00:17:14,578 --> 00:17:17,121 - Amy, darling, the children love you. 700 00:17:17,122 --> 00:17:18,706 And I love you. 701 00:17:18,707 --> 00:17:21,292 And stay away from my scrotums! 702 00:17:21,293 --> 00:17:24,420 - You're their mother, and you always will be. 703 00:17:24,421 --> 00:17:26,171 Nothing can change that. 704 00:17:27,257 --> 00:17:29,925 - Amy Wong, a challenge has been filed 705 00:17:29,926 --> 00:17:32,303 for the motherhood of these children. 706 00:17:32,304 --> 00:17:35,055 No... 707 00:17:35,056 --> 00:17:37,096 Amy? Amy, I'm coming home, I swear. 708 00:17:39,019 --> 00:17:41,270 I have to leave right now, sir! 709 00:17:41,271 --> 00:17:44,607 No, Kif! The DOOP never leaves a man behind! 710 00:17:44,608 --> 00:17:46,025 Not when I'm the man! 711 00:17:52,157 --> 00:17:55,618 - Alright, bears. Daddy's coming to tuck you in... 712 00:17:56,661 --> 00:17:58,329 to your graves. 713 00:18:01,541 --> 00:18:02,959 - I'll be out here. 714 00:18:06,755 --> 00:18:08,756 - Nobody's taking my babies! 715 00:18:08,757 --> 00:18:10,424 They're everything to me! 716 00:18:10,425 --> 00:18:13,427 - I appreciate your emotional shouting in my ear hole, 717 00:18:13,428 --> 00:18:16,806 but I must intervene whenever parenthood is called into question. 718 00:18:18,141 --> 00:18:19,433 - Grand Midwife? 719 00:18:19,434 --> 00:18:21,936 - Oh, drop the surprised act, Leela. 720 00:18:21,937 --> 00:18:24,313 How could you do this? - Do what? 721 00:18:24,314 --> 00:18:27,149 Suck the jelly out of the jelly donuts with a straw? 722 00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:30,402 - This jelly hound did not summon me. The challenge is automatic 723 00:18:30,403 --> 00:18:33,948 when tests show the smizmar contributed no DNA. 724 00:18:33,949 --> 00:18:35,991 The children inherited genes 725 00:18:35,992 --> 00:18:37,826 only from Kif and Leela, 726 00:18:37,827 --> 00:18:40,704 plus trace DNA from a certain Scruffy. 727 00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:43,707 Scruffy's stuff gets around. 728 00:18:45,293 --> 00:18:48,170 - Should the challenge indicate someone else is the mother, 729 00:18:48,171 --> 00:18:49,421 then that person... 730 00:18:49,422 --> 00:18:51,590 eh, or whatever... 731 00:18:51,591 --> 00:18:53,092 shall raise the children. 732 00:18:53,093 --> 00:18:54,426 - But... But... 733 00:18:54,427 --> 00:18:58,430 - You and Kif must be present for the challenge tomorrow. Good day. 734 00:18:59,891 --> 00:19:02,394 Yeah, FYI, y-you've got a little jelly right there. 735 00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:12,111 - Did somebody call an exterminator? 736 00:19:20,370 --> 00:19:23,038 - It's been a blast. - Help me, Kif! 737 00:19:23,039 --> 00:19:26,000 They found the secret candy in my girdle! 738 00:19:33,758 --> 00:19:36,261 I'm a camouflaged killing machine. 739 00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:41,348 - I'm... 740 00:19:41,349 --> 00:19:44,310 I'm sorry I got so jealous, Leela. 741 00:19:44,311 --> 00:19:47,354 I just kinda lost it. - It's okay. 742 00:19:47,355 --> 00:19:50,649 The bond parents feel with their kids is intense... 743 00:19:50,650 --> 00:19:51,942 so I hear. 744 00:19:51,943 --> 00:19:54,653 I'm just proud I helped you become a mom. 745 00:19:58,074 --> 00:20:00,200 I hope it works out for you tomorrow. 746 00:20:00,201 --> 00:20:01,869 - And if it doesn't, 747 00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:05,372 I'm sure you'll take good care of them. 748 00:20:09,836 --> 00:20:12,671 - I refuse to die groveling. 749 00:20:12,672 --> 00:20:14,340 But I'm open to sniveling. 750 00:20:24,684 --> 00:20:26,101 Naked Kif, 751 00:20:26,102 --> 00:20:27,519 you saved my life! 752 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,480 You have my undying loyalty. 753 00:20:30,732 --> 00:20:32,107 Eat Kif! He's boneless! 754 00:20:37,364 --> 00:20:39,531 - This one's for Axl, Mandy, 755 00:20:39,532 --> 00:20:41,158 and little what's-his-name. 756 00:21:03,932 --> 00:21:07,560 - I am the Grand Midwife from the other day, 757 00:21:07,561 --> 00:21:10,980 inquisitor for the challenge of Amy Wong. 758 00:21:10,981 --> 00:21:13,399 Amy, where is your smizmale? 759 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,025 - He isn't with me. 760 00:21:15,026 --> 00:21:18,904 - Oh, the sorrow! Oh, the shame! 761 00:21:18,905 --> 00:21:20,364 - There he is! 762 00:21:22,325 --> 00:21:24,619 - Okay, but it doesn't lessen the shame. 763 00:21:25,829 --> 00:21:27,705 - Kif! - Amy! 764 00:21:27,706 --> 00:21:29,207 Daddy! 765 00:21:30,417 --> 00:21:32,293 - I don't remember him. 766 00:21:32,294 --> 00:21:34,420 - So, like, did you do war stuff? 767 00:21:34,421 --> 00:21:37,256 - I did what a Daddy had to do. 768 00:21:43,263 --> 00:21:45,973 - Bear number 23 was also stupid, 769 00:21:45,974 --> 00:21:49,268 fighting for scraps while I dined on salmon tartare. 770 00:21:51,605 --> 00:21:53,607 None for you, losers! 771 00:21:57,193 --> 00:21:58,569 Oh! 772 00:22:05,327 --> 00:22:08,537 - The challenge may play out over days or weeks 773 00:22:08,538 --> 00:22:11,916 within the brutal confines of the Inquisidome. 774 00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:13,668 Some call it a tiki hut. 775 00:22:14,002 --> 00:22:16,962 - Leela's gonna watch you guys while we're in there. 776 00:22:18,089 --> 00:22:20,133 And maybe a little longer. 777 00:22:20,508 --> 00:22:22,426 But whatever happens, 778 00:22:22,427 --> 00:22:24,429 you're going to be okay. 779 00:22:25,847 --> 00:22:27,598 - You are, too. 780 00:22:38,526 --> 00:22:41,111 - The challenge is a challenging challenge, 781 00:22:41,112 --> 00:22:44,114 dating from when our language had few words. 782 00:22:44,115 --> 00:22:46,909 It will incorporate a battery of genetic tests 783 00:22:46,910 --> 00:22:49,912 and a full neuropsychological obstacle course, 784 00:22:49,913 --> 00:22:52,915 but it begins with a simple question. 785 00:22:52,916 --> 00:22:54,083 Amy Wong. 786 00:22:54,084 --> 00:22:57,753 Do you or do you not love those children? 787 00:23:01,633 --> 00:23:04,678 - More than I knew I could love anything. 788 00:23:05,887 --> 00:23:07,889 - Which is all that truly matters. 789 00:23:08,932 --> 00:23:10,766 The challenge is over. 790 00:23:10,767 --> 00:23:12,351 You are their mother 791 00:23:12,352 --> 00:23:14,979 and always will be. 792 00:23:20,652 --> 00:23:22,611 Oops! That wasn't supposed to happen. 793 00:23:22,612 --> 00:23:24,446 Cheap, lousy wall. 794 00:23:24,447 --> 00:23:28,075 Children! You may now come hug your mother and father. 795 00:23:28,076 --> 00:23:30,244 For only a small additional fee. 796 00:23:33,832 --> 00:23:36,542 - You're my favorite mommy. 797 00:23:40,922 --> 00:23:42,631 - Who wants treacle? 798 00:23:45,719 --> 00:23:47,428 - Strong stuff, huh? 799 00:23:47,478 --> 00:23:52,028 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 58012

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