All language subtitles for [SubtitleTools.com] Friends with Benefits 2011 720p BDRip x264 AAC-MZON3[english subs]
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:15,976 --> 00:00:18,562
Okay. Let's see where we are.
2
00:00:19,104 --> 00:00:22,816
We could move this, get rid of that, kill that.
3
00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:27,487
That kind of freaks me out. Don't need her.
We can get rid of that.
4
00:00:27,946 --> 00:00:29,990
That's done. Okay, we could start with this.
5
00:00:30,157 --> 00:00:33,202
I know it's a hard-hitting piece,
but come on, you guys, it's the Internet.
6
00:00:33,285 --> 00:00:35,579
We need traffic, traffic, traffic.
What do you got?
7
00:00:35,746 --> 00:00:38,290
- How about this?
- It's perfect.
8
00:00:38,415 --> 00:00:40,792
Now, doesn't she look smart and
knowledgeable about immigration reform?
9
00:00:40,959 --> 00:00:42,794
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah. She does, right?
10
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,214
I'm fucking with you people.
This isn't a porn site.
11
00:00:45,297 --> 00:00:46,965
What are we, nerds trying to look at boobies?
12
00:00:47,591 --> 00:00:48,842
Come on, keep looking.
13
00:00:49,593 --> 00:00:51,345
Shit! Hello?
14
00:00:51,428 --> 00:00:53,931
Hey! Baby, where are you?
Are you still at work?
15
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,349
No! Not even close.
16
00:00:55,432 --> 00:00:56,934
Just so you know,
the movie starts in 10 minutes.
17
00:00:57,017 --> 00:00:58,810
- I know! Give me your pants.
- What?
18
00:00:58,936 --> 00:01:00,520
- I'll buy you lunch tomorrow. Come on.
- No.
19
00:01:00,687 --> 00:01:02,481
I'm your boss. Give me your pants.
20
00:01:02,689 --> 00:01:05,025
Please try not to be late.
I really hate missing the beginning.
21
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,276
I know. I know.
22
00:01:08,278 --> 00:01:09,780
Give me your pants. I'm coming, baby.
23
00:01:10,781 --> 00:01:11,782
I'm almost there!
24
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:14,284
- How far away?
- I think I see you!
25
00:01:15,786 --> 00:01:17,996
- Where are you? I'm here.
- So am I.
26
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:19,915
Just so you know,
the movie starts in 10 minutes.
27
00:01:19,998 --> 00:01:22,459
I'm wearing the only clothes
outside the theater,
28
00:01:22,542 --> 00:01:25,295
because I'm the only person
outside the theater!
29
00:01:25,462 --> 00:01:27,506
I love that outfit. You look so sexy in that.
30
00:01:27,631 --> 00:01:29,132
You know that I love this movie.
31
00:01:29,216 --> 00:01:32,970
If a prostitute and a ruthless businessman
can fall in love,
32
00:01:33,845 --> 00:01:34,888
then anyone can.
33
00:01:34,972 --> 00:01:37,140
I know this means a lot to you,
which means it means a lot to me.
34
00:01:37,224 --> 00:01:38,642
Well, apparently it doesn't.
35
00:01:38,725 --> 00:01:40,060
I'm looking at you right now. I can see you!
36
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:41,478
Jamie!
37
00:01:42,187 --> 00:01:43,230
Hey!
38
00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:45,524
- Hey.
- You made it.
39
00:01:45,649 --> 00:01:47,401
- Yeah. Hey.
- Hi.
40
00:01:47,484 --> 00:01:49,987
- Sorry I'm late.
- It's okay. I got us sandwiches.
41
00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:52,406
I got you turkey, no cheese,
gluten-free bread.
42
00:01:52,572 --> 00:01:54,491
You sure this was prepared
in a nut-free facility?
43
00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:56,827
Yes, I'm fully aware of your allergies.
44
00:01:56,994 --> 00:02:00,831
Hey, I'm here! I'm here. I'm really sorry.
45
00:02:01,039 --> 00:02:02,666
We missed Your Body ls a Wonderland.
46
00:02:02,749 --> 00:02:04,710
Okay. Only one song.
That's not so bad, right?
47
00:02:04,835 --> 00:02:06,211
It was fucking Your Body ls a Wonderland!
48
00:02:06,336 --> 00:02:10,173
Well, the good news is,
he has so many good ones.
49
00:02:10,382 --> 00:02:13,969
Here's an idea: next time,
instead of being late, just shit on my face.
50
00:02:14,052 --> 00:02:16,722
'Cause that's kind of the same thing
as missing Your Body ls a Wonderland.
51
00:02:16,847 --> 00:02:17,973
Okay, come on. We really gotta go in.
52
00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:20,267
Julia Roberts is about to put on
her really tall boots.
53
00:02:22,102 --> 00:02:23,395
We need to talk.
54
00:02:27,607 --> 00:02:28,692
I think we should take a break.
55
00:02:28,775 --> 00:02:31,111
I just feel like
we should chill for a while, you know?
56
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:32,988
- You're doing this?
- You're breaking up with me?
57
00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:34,406
You said I was your soul mate.
58
00:02:34,573 --> 00:02:35,741
I did? When?
59
00:02:35,866 --> 00:02:38,327
When we were at that bed and breakfast
having sex.
60
00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:39,911
- But, you know, that doesn't...
- That doesn't what?
61
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:43,206
- Count.
- I was tied up at work. I'm sorry.
62
00:02:43,373 --> 00:02:45,625
Maybe you should care
a little bit less about work
63
00:02:45,709 --> 00:02:47,919
and a little more
about the girl that you're dating.
64
00:02:48,086 --> 00:02:51,423
'Cause last time I checked,
work doesn't reassure you
65
00:02:51,548 --> 00:02:54,009
that liking a finger up your ass
doesn't make you gay.
66
00:02:54,092 --> 00:02:56,928
I never said "go up." Okay?
67
00:02:57,054 --> 00:03:00,432
I just said lightly around...
It's like a little button.
68
00:03:00,557 --> 00:03:02,434
You know what? Not your issue any more.
69
00:03:02,559 --> 00:03:03,685
Is this why you were late?
70
00:03:03,769 --> 00:03:05,270
You were worried
about how to break up with me?
71
00:03:05,395 --> 00:03:07,731
Oh, no, no.
I was trying to decide what to wear.
72
00:03:07,898 --> 00:03:10,067
- So, you went with sneakers and a hoodie.
- Yeah.
73
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,902
What, are you gonna
take the SATs after this?
74
00:03:12,069 --> 00:03:13,820
Don't lash out, okay?
75
00:03:13,904 --> 00:03:15,614
- You're better than that.
- I'm really not.
76
00:03:15,739 --> 00:03:17,407
I just think
we're heading in different directions.
77
00:03:17,491 --> 00:03:19,910
Yeah, you to the John Mayer concert
and me not.
78
00:03:20,077 --> 00:03:22,412
Thank you for doing this
before the concert, by the way.
79
00:03:22,746 --> 00:03:24,498
Best breakup ever.
80
00:03:24,664 --> 00:03:26,750
He is the Sheryl Crow of our generation!
81
00:03:26,917 --> 00:03:28,168
Let me just ask you a quick question.
82
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:32,255
And just know that I am not at all
crushed by this breakup.
83
00:03:32,589 --> 00:03:34,257
So, be honest. Why?
84
00:03:34,341 --> 00:03:35,634
- Wait, is this a trick?
- No.
85
00:03:35,759 --> 00:03:37,594
Just pure anthropological research.
86
00:03:37,761 --> 00:03:39,679
Okay. You want someone
to sweep you off your feet,
87
00:03:39,763 --> 00:03:42,557
but you're more interested
in getting swept off your feet
88
00:03:42,641 --> 00:03:43,850
than the someone who's doing the sweeping.
89
00:03:44,184 --> 00:03:46,144
You seem like you've got it totally together,
90
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:48,105
but you're actually
really emotionally damaged.
91
00:03:48,188 --> 00:03:51,650
Also, you have, like, really big eyes,
and that freaks me out sometimes...
92
00:03:51,775 --> 00:03:53,860
Thank you. That's enough.
93
00:03:53,944 --> 00:03:55,404
It is not you at all.
94
00:03:55,487 --> 00:03:58,615
Of course it's me! You can't say that.
You're breaking up with me!
95
00:03:58,865 --> 00:04:01,493
It's not. It's me. I don't like you any more.
96
00:04:01,618 --> 00:04:03,995
This is my fault. You deserve better than me.
97
00:04:04,121 --> 00:04:05,330
You're a great guy.
98
00:04:05,455 --> 00:04:08,750
A little too emotionally unavailable,
if you ask me.
99
00:04:08,834 --> 00:04:09,876
I didn't.
100
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,211
I really want to stay friends.
101
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:12,796
- Let's stay friends.
- Sure.
102
00:04:13,004 --> 00:04:14,047
Totally.
103
00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:17,175
John Mayer.
104
00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:19,511
John fucking Mayer!
105
00:04:20,387 --> 00:04:21,471
Come here, you.
106
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,141
You're gonna get through this.
107
00:04:26,476 --> 00:04:31,314
Why do relationships always start off so fun
and then turn into suck-a-bag-0-dicks?
108
00:04:31,398 --> 00:04:35,652
I really have to stop buying into this bullshit
Hollywood oliché of true love.
109
00:04:36,695 --> 00:04:39,531
Shut up, Katherine Heigll You stupid liar!
110
00:04:39,656 --> 00:04:42,826
I'm just gonna work and fuck.
Like George Clooney.
111
00:04:42,993 --> 00:04:45,662
I'm just gonna
shut myself down emotionally.
112
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,999
Like George Clooney.
113
00:04:58,508 --> 00:04:59,551
Hello.
114
00:05:00,010 --> 00:05:01,178
Seat up, please, sir.
115
00:05:02,012 --> 00:05:03,013
Is that the Hudson River?
116
00:05:03,722 --> 00:05:05,891
No. It's the East River.
117
00:05:06,183 --> 00:05:10,020
So we won't be landing on it, then,
like that flight,
118
00:05:10,395 --> 00:05:13,273
you know, with that captain
they keep giving medals to?
119
00:05:14,524 --> 00:05:15,942
That pilot was a hero.
120
00:05:18,445 --> 00:05:19,529
Asshole.
121
00:05:21,114 --> 00:05:22,866
Plane actually did a lot of the work.
122
00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:26,870
I think I found the perfect guy
to fill that job at GQ.
123
00:05:27,287 --> 00:05:29,206
No, he's landing early. I'm scrambling.
124
00:05:29,581 --> 00:05:32,459
No, he's not sold on the job yet,
but I'll get him there. I always do.
125
00:05:32,709 --> 00:05:34,794
I'm even picking him up in a hybrid.
126
00:05:35,212 --> 00:05:37,589
He's from LA.
I figured he's into all that bullshit.
127
00:05:38,048 --> 00:05:39,966
Hey, sir, what's that tall building over there?
128
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:41,885
Empire State Building.
129
00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:43,428
No, no, no, no. No. The other one.
130
00:05:43,553 --> 00:05:47,349
The really, really tall one
with the antenna on top of it, the windows.
131
00:05:47,432 --> 00:05:48,934
That is Empire State Building.
132
00:05:49,809 --> 00:05:51,603
Oh, yeah. You're right. King Kong.
133
00:05:51,728 --> 00:05:52,771
Hey...
134
00:05:57,275 --> 00:06:00,070
Oh, hey! Are you done with this? All met up?
135
00:06:00,153 --> 00:06:02,739
Great. Welcome to New York,
Ms. Penderghast.
136
00:06:03,114 --> 00:06:04,282
Yeah.
137
00:06:14,751 --> 00:06:18,129
Oh, no. Excuse me. Sorry.
138
00:06:18,338 --> 00:06:19,422
Okay.
139
00:06:23,677 --> 00:06:25,804
- Can you hand me my bag?
- Sure. Which one?
140
00:06:25,929 --> 00:06:27,013
- The one with the straps.
- Okay.
141
00:06:27,097 --> 00:06:28,181
There.
142
00:06:28,682 --> 00:06:29,933
Okay.
143
00:06:30,934 --> 00:06:33,103
- Thank you.
- Welcome to New York, sir.
144
00:06:36,523 --> 00:06:38,483
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
145
00:06:39,317 --> 00:06:41,278
That's me.
Which one, the blue or the yellow?
146
00:06:41,653 --> 00:06:44,447
No. The makeshift sign made out of lipstick,
that's me.
147
00:06:45,282 --> 00:06:46,992
- You're Dylan Harper.
- I am.
148
00:06:47,284 --> 00:06:48,368
I'm Jamie Rellis.
149
00:06:48,535 --> 00:06:51,204
- You're picking me up from the airport.
- Hi. Yes, lam.
150
00:06:52,372 --> 00:06:53,582
You always pick people up like this?
151
00:06:53,665 --> 00:06:55,542
Yeah, you know,
I like to keep things interesting.
152
00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:57,168
- Welcome to New York.
- Thank you.
153
00:06:58,211 --> 00:07:00,880
You're not exactly what comes to mind
when you think headhunter.
154
00:07:00,964 --> 00:07:04,175
Yeah, I prefer "executive recruiter."
Headhunter sounds a little creepy.
155
00:07:04,301 --> 00:07:06,803
You did stalk me for six months.
Kind of creepy.
156
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,555
Here, here, here, I'll take it.
157
00:07:09,306 --> 00:07:11,516
You're really gonna carry my bag?
You're that girl?
158
00:07:11,725 --> 00:07:14,728
No. I'm gonna change your life. I'm that girl.
159
00:07:15,812 --> 00:07:17,063
My life is already pretty great.
160
00:07:17,147 --> 00:07:20,483
Oh, really? 'Cause you wouldn't be here
if your life were already pretty great.
161
00:07:20,984 --> 00:07:23,320
A free trip to New York.
I'd be an idiot to turn that down.
162
00:07:23,403 --> 00:07:26,323
Well, then I guess you must have been
an idiot for the past six months.
163
00:07:27,407 --> 00:07:29,534
Yeah, a lot of people
would say longer than that.
164
00:07:29,743 --> 00:07:31,536
It's a huge opportunity, Dylan.
165
00:07:31,661 --> 00:07:34,581
Art director of GQ magazine.
This is the big leagues.
166
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,833
I mean, no offense to your little blog
on the Internet.
167
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,918
Which got six million hits last month.
168
00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:41,921
I could put up a video of me mixing
cake batter with my boobs
169
00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:43,548
and it will get eight million hits.
170
00:07:43,673 --> 00:07:46,676
It's been done. Dunkin-My-Tits-Hynes.com.
171
00:07:47,177 --> 00:07:48,178
Really?
172
00:07:48,845 --> 00:07:51,640
Well, look, there's no question that
you are talented at what you do,
173
00:07:51,723 --> 00:07:53,516
but this is GQ.
174
00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:55,435
New York's so crowded.
175
00:07:56,394 --> 00:07:58,563
Look around. I'm from LA, okay?
176
00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:01,775
- I like my open spaces.
- What are you, a gazelle?
177
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:04,069
Come on,
what's really worrying you about this?
178
00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:10,200
I don't know. I don't want to be the guy
who took something legendary
179
00:08:10,283 --> 00:08:13,036
and shit the bed with it.
Excuse the expression.
180
00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:16,081
Well, then don't be the guy who shit the bed.
Excuse the expression.
181
00:08:16,706 --> 00:08:19,250
Be the guy
who made the bed legendary again.
182
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:23,588
Listen, we'll get some coffee in you
before the interview. You'll be fine.
183
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:28,802
I'm sorry, not coffee.
Some green tea, soy, organic hemp bullshit.
184
00:08:29,803 --> 00:08:30,929
Really hot in New York.
185
00:08:31,262 --> 00:08:32,555
Doesn't it get hot in LA?
186
00:08:32,639 --> 00:08:34,516
Yeah, it gets hot in LA, but it's the humidity.
187
00:08:34,599 --> 00:08:37,394
In LA, if it's 90 degrees,
it feels like 90 degrees. But...
188
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:38,937
- Right.
- If it's hot in New York,
189
00:08:39,104 --> 00:08:40,897
it's 90 degrees, it's like 100,000 degrees.
190
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:43,149
This conversation about weather
is really fascinating,
191
00:08:43,233 --> 00:08:44,984
but lucky for me, we are here.
192
00:08:46,444 --> 00:08:47,487
So, good luck.
193
00:08:48,321 --> 00:08:52,117
Whatever happens, happens.
I told you, I don't really want it.
194
00:08:52,409 --> 00:08:55,412
Just do me a favor?
Act like you do so that I look good.
195
00:08:55,495 --> 00:08:57,789
- I can do that.
- Okay. Go get 'em.
196
00:08:57,914 --> 00:08:59,249
This is great, by the way.
197
00:09:09,008 --> 00:09:10,343
Watch it!
198
00:09:20,937 --> 00:09:22,939
- Hey!
- You're still here?
199
00:09:23,273 --> 00:09:25,483
Yeah. Well, it's my job.
200
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:26,651
Nice.
201
00:09:26,776 --> 00:09:29,279
So, tell me, how'd it go?
202
00:09:30,113 --> 00:09:32,240
They bought it.
You're safe for a little while longer.
203
00:09:32,323 --> 00:09:34,617
Well, thank you. I owe you one.
204
00:09:38,955 --> 00:09:39,998
This is from you.
205
00:09:40,457 --> 00:09:41,499
It's your offer.
206
00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:44,127
- Wait, I got it?
- They called about five minutes ago.
207
00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:48,298
Congratulations. Offer expires at midnight.
208
00:09:49,466 --> 00:09:51,134
Why didn't you just tell me
instead of texting me?
209
00:09:51,301 --> 00:09:52,635
'Cause it's more dramatic.
210
00:09:55,305 --> 00:09:56,973
Dylan, you are not gonna shit the bed.
211
00:09:57,557 --> 00:09:59,476
I've seen your work. It's amazing.
212
00:10:00,143 --> 00:10:01,352
It's a huge move.
213
00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:03,646
Would you uproot your entire life for a job?
Be honest.
214
00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:05,982
Well, no. For a job, probably not.
215
00:10:06,232 --> 00:10:09,986
But for New York? Yeah, I would.
216
00:10:10,153 --> 00:10:12,363
Which is why I'm not gonna
try to sell you on the job,
217
00:10:12,489 --> 00:10:13,740
I'm gonna sell you on New York.
218
00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:15,158
It's New York!
219
00:10:15,492 --> 00:10:16,534
I've seen Seinfeld.
220
00:10:16,701 --> 00:10:18,745
Not the bullshit tourist version.
221
00:10:21,331 --> 00:10:22,957
Puppy dog eyes. Nice touch.
222
00:10:23,041 --> 00:10:24,501
Yes! Come on.
223
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,002
Let me buy you a drink.
224
00:10:29,506 --> 00:10:30,548
What's wrong?
225
00:10:31,049 --> 00:10:32,592
What are you waiting for?
226
00:10:32,717 --> 00:10:33,802
The light to change.
227
00:10:33,885 --> 00:10:35,512
You LA folk are so cute.
228
00:10:35,845 --> 00:10:36,930
Come on.
229
00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:38,139
Come on, it's fine.
230
00:10:38,223 --> 00:10:39,265
'See?
_Yep_
231
00:10:39,349 --> 00:10:40,433
I'm gonna die.
232
00:10:40,517 --> 00:10:44,521
Here we have Brooklyn Bridge,
downtown Manhattan,
233
00:10:45,021 --> 00:10:47,857
and right in front of us, an outdoor bar.
234
00:10:49,359 --> 00:10:51,569
Alcohol. Now we're talking.
235
00:10:54,864 --> 00:10:56,199
You know, I like you.
236
00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:58,076
I'll give you your choice of closes.
237
00:10:59,244 --> 00:11:01,454
- What?
- How I close you on this job.
238
00:11:01,538 --> 00:11:04,082
- Okay.
- So we got the flattery close.
239
00:11:04,374 --> 00:11:07,794
Dylan, you are so good at what you do.
240
00:11:07,877 --> 00:11:09,212
The take-it-or-leave-it close.
241
00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:12,215
Man, I don't care if you take it.
I get paid regardless.
242
00:11:12,465 --> 00:11:13,800
The sympathy close.
243
00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:15,343
You see, my kidneys are failing...
244
00:11:15,426 --> 00:11:17,971
Why do women think the only way
to get a man to do what they want
245
00:11:18,054 --> 00:11:19,222
is to manipulate him?
246
00:11:19,389 --> 00:11:23,226
History. Personal experience.
Romantic comedies.
247
00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:26,563
Come on, you're here for a reason,
whether you want to admit it or not.
248
00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:29,816
Yeah, to explore an option.
Who wouldn't want to know their options?
249
00:11:29,983 --> 00:11:31,401
Someone who's in the perfect situation.
250
00:11:31,609 --> 00:11:32,735
Are you in the perfect situation?
251
00:11:32,819 --> 00:11:34,904
Job? Absolutely.
252
00:11:35,071 --> 00:11:37,240
Everything else? None of your business.
253
00:11:41,452 --> 00:11:42,537
Shaun!
254
00:11:42,912 --> 00:11:43,913
- Jamie!
- Hey!
255
00:11:44,038 --> 00:11:45,665
- Hey, what's up, baby?
- What are you doing here?
256
00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:46,833
- Shaun White?
- You look great.
257
00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:49,085
- You been working out?
- Nope. Just been eating a lot.
258
00:11:49,252 --> 00:11:50,461
- Okay.
- Yeah.
259
00:11:50,587 --> 00:11:51,671
- You want a drink?
- Yeah!
260
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:52,922
- Let me get you a drink. Yeah?
- Okay.
261
00:11:53,089 --> 00:11:55,425
- Careful! Careful.
- Sorry.
262
00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:58,469
Hey, bro, that was like
a double McTwist 1260.
263
00:12:00,054 --> 00:12:02,473
- Yeah, like the trick.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dylan.
264
00:12:02,599 --> 00:12:04,142
Jamie, you want to get this guy
out of my face
265
00:12:04,267 --> 00:12:05,602
before I break his fucking skull?
266
00:12:06,936 --> 00:12:08,813
Sorry, bro. No disrespect. I'm a huge fan.
267
00:12:08,938 --> 00:12:12,317
You don't fucking know me, man!
Don't talk to me like you know me!
268
00:12:12,442 --> 00:12:15,111
What, you think I'm all chill
'cause I snowboard and shit?
269
00:12:15,278 --> 00:12:17,780
One more word,
I'll fuck you up like dynamite!
270
00:12:18,615 --> 00:12:19,657
Dynamite?
271
00:12:19,949 --> 00:12:21,618
I'm just playing, bro_
272
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,621
Any friend of Jamie's is cool with me.
273
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:27,123
- It's all good, man.
- All good.
274
00:12:27,248 --> 00:12:29,792
I'm whispering in the ear of a dead man.
275
00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:31,586
I'll see you later.
276
00:12:31,669 --> 00:12:32,754
- Good to see you.
- Bye, honey.
277
00:12:34,130 --> 00:12:37,842
Shaun White seems really great. Nice dude.
278
00:12:38,635 --> 00:12:40,803
- How do you know him again?
- I took his virginity.
279
00:12:41,846 --> 00:12:43,389
So you guys have known
each other for a while?
280
00:12:43,473 --> 00:12:44,974
No, it was like eight months ago.
281
00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:46,851
Wow.
282
00:12:47,644 --> 00:12:49,187
So does the carpet match the drapes?
283
00:12:49,646 --> 00:12:52,023
It's hardwood floors,
if you know what I mean.
284
00:12:52,148 --> 00:12:54,275
My God! Terrible visual.
285
00:12:54,359 --> 00:12:56,986
Totally kidding, by the way.
Just an old friend of mine.
286
00:12:58,363 --> 00:13:00,156
You guys use the same leave-in conditioner.
287
00:13:00,615 --> 00:13:02,450
His hair had nice body.
288
00:13:02,533 --> 00:13:04,452
Can I get two gyro number sixes,
extra sauce?
289
00:13:06,663 --> 00:13:08,039
- What are you looking for?
- The cops.
290
00:13:08,331 --> 00:13:09,707
- Come on.
- The cops?
291
00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:11,000
Yep.
292
00:13:11,501 --> 00:13:13,002
Come on!
293
00:13:16,047 --> 00:13:17,840
- Where are you taking me?
- You'll see.
294
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:33,815
Well, here's your open space.
295
00:13:33,898 --> 00:13:36,359
Run, gazelle. Run!
296
00:13:39,070 --> 00:13:43,199
- Wow. This is unbelievable.
- I know.
297
00:13:46,703 --> 00:13:48,705
Okay, this was not on Seinfeld.
298
00:13:49,414 --> 00:13:51,874
Come on,
what's your dad think about all this?
299
00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:55,420
About what?
300
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:56,671
Well, he must have an opinion.
301
00:13:56,754 --> 00:13:58,840
He used to write for the LA Times
for 23 years.
302
00:14:00,091 --> 00:14:01,342
Somebody did their homework.
303
00:14:01,676 --> 00:14:05,680
I have this thing at work. It's called Google.
304
00:14:06,014 --> 00:14:07,932
Come on, what's he think about the job?
305
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,184
Actually, I didn't ask him.
306
00:14:10,685 --> 00:14:12,228
Well, then you must know what he'd say.
307
00:14:16,858 --> 00:14:21,362
He'd tell me to go with my gut and that
he'd be proud of me no matter what I did.
308
00:14:23,573 --> 00:14:24,907
Sounds like a really great man.
309
00:14:27,035 --> 00:14:28,077
Yeah, he is.
310
00:14:28,536 --> 00:14:30,872
Hey, do you want to
see something really cool?
311
00:14:31,122 --> 00:14:33,458
I always want to see something really cool.
What...
312
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:34,959
Come on.
313
00:14:36,294 --> 00:14:37,587
Okay.
314
00:14:39,589 --> 00:14:42,258
Only place in the city
you can actually see the stars.
315
00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:44,427
- Wow.
- Yeah.
316
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,763
- It's pretty awesome.
- I know.
317
00:14:47,805 --> 00:14:49,140
I like to come up here to think.
318
00:14:49,265 --> 00:14:52,101
Just when it gets a little too much
for me down there, it's like...
319
00:14:52,769 --> 00:14:54,479
It's like my New York version
of a mountaintop.
320
00:14:55,313 --> 00:14:58,149
Best part, no cell reception.
321
00:15:01,319 --> 00:15:02,820
You take all your recruits up here?
322
00:15:04,906 --> 00:15:07,283
Actually, never really taken anyone up here.
323
00:15:08,117 --> 00:15:09,452
- Really?
- Yeah.
324
00:15:09,786 --> 00:15:11,079
Thanks.
325
00:15:11,162 --> 00:15:13,414
If you tell anyone about this,
I will rip your ears off
326
00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:15,249
and staple them to your neck.
327
00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:19,170
Everyone in this city seems really violent.
328
00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:22,799
Come on, let's go. One last stop.
329
00:15:23,132 --> 00:15:25,510
- We're just getting comfortable.
- I know you are. Come on, buddy.
330
00:15:25,635 --> 00:15:27,970
It's New York. Now hustle. Come on.
331
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:30,723
- Come on, come on.
- You're showing me Times Square.
332
00:15:30,807 --> 00:15:33,184
- This is not touristy at all!
- Would you shush? Come on.
333
00:15:33,309 --> 00:15:35,603
Do we have to power-walk
everywhere we go?
334
00:15:35,686 --> 00:15:36,979
Yes.
335
00:15:37,146 --> 00:15:40,900
So everybody just kind of walks
wherever they want, then.
336
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:43,027
How 'bout right here?
337
00:15:43,361 --> 00:15:44,695
- What do you mean?
- We're here.
338
00:15:50,827 --> 00:15:52,161
Oh, my God, it's 1988.
339
00:15:52,328 --> 00:15:54,497
All right, smartass, give it five seconds.
340
00:16:19,355 --> 00:16:21,732
- What is this?
- It's a flash mob.
341
00:16:22,191 --> 00:16:24,318
- Like on Oprah!
- Exactly.
342
00:16:24,986 --> 00:16:26,028
Should we get out of the way?
343
00:16:26,154 --> 00:16:28,239
No, no. Enjoy it. Take it all in.
344
00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:33,244
- It's pretty damn cool.
- Right?
345
00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:38,374
It's kind of rad.
346
00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:41,377
Do these people get paid for this?
347
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:45,256
No. No. They kind of just do it for fun.
348
00:16:46,382 --> 00:16:48,176
It's nice to feel
like you're a part of something.
349
00:16:48,259 --> 00:16:50,219
New York can be a little bit lonely at times.
350
00:16:50,761 --> 00:16:52,013
And you're trying to sell me on it.
351
00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:55,391
Every place can be a bit lonely sometimes.
352
00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:01,731
- Be careful!
- Oh, my God.
353
00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:03,566
- Come down.
- Okay.
354
00:17:11,908 --> 00:17:13,409
- Shit. Get back down.
- Okay.
355
00:17:23,711 --> 00:17:25,880
- I'm in.
- What?
356
00:17:26,881 --> 00:17:28,382
- You sold me.
- Really?
357
00:17:28,466 --> 00:17:30,134
- I'll take the job.
- Oh, my God!
358
00:17:30,259 --> 00:17:34,805
- What, are you surprised?
- No! No. Oh, you are gonna crush it!
359
00:17:35,932 --> 00:17:37,600
Amazing.
360
00:17:37,808 --> 00:17:41,270
- You can all go home now! Thank you!
- Very funny.
361
00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:42,438
Come on.
362
00:17:42,605 --> 00:17:45,274
Congratulations, sell-out!
363
00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:46,776
Thank you, thank you.
364
00:17:47,068 --> 00:17:49,153
All I'm saying is,
it wasn't so much the pilot's skill
365
00:17:49,278 --> 00:17:52,240
that landed that plane on the river
as much as the mechanics of the aircraft.
366
00:17:52,323 --> 00:17:54,742
Are you saying
that Captain Sully wasn't a hero?
367
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:56,118
No, no.
368
00:17:56,786 --> 00:17:57,954
There were just other factors.
369
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,956
Are you not an American?
370
00:18:11,634 --> 00:18:14,303
Hey, fuckface, you want to get your shit
out of my car or what?
371
00:18:14,637 --> 00:18:15,930
L... Yeah.
372
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:20,142
Welcome to New York. Go and fuck a dick.
373
00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:45,793
Fuck.
374
00:18:45,876 --> 00:18:49,463
So, all I ask is that you give me
a little bit of time to gain your trust.
375
00:18:49,547 --> 00:18:54,176
I know that I'm new at this, but what I lack
in experience I make up for in cliches.
376
00:18:54,343 --> 00:18:55,845
So, my door is always open.
377
00:18:57,555 --> 00:19:01,350
But seriously, my door is always open.
378
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:07,231
My first order of business, lighter doors.
379
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:10,693
- Okay. Thanks, guys.
- Welcome, Dylan.
380
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,238
Hey, man. Tommy Bollinger, sports editor.
381
00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:17,033
Tommy, I've read your articles.
Love your writing.
382
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,784
Just trying to keep it realsies.
383
00:19:18,868 --> 00:19:22,079
Listen, I'd love to take you out one night
and troll for cock.
384
00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:24,582
- What?
- You got some pretty boys out there in LA,
385
00:19:24,707 --> 00:19:28,377
but the quality in this town is ridiculous.
386
00:19:28,711 --> 00:19:30,546
We can tear this shit up.
387
00:19:31,172 --> 00:19:32,214
I'm not gay, Tommy.
388
00:19:32,381 --> 00:19:36,010
Really? I just assumed,
art director and, you know...
389
00:19:36,177 --> 00:19:38,429
Hey. No skin, more pipe for me.
390
00:19:38,554 --> 00:19:41,265
By the way,
doing a piece on racism in hockey.
391
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:43,517
Love to get your concepts on the font.
392
00:19:43,726 --> 00:19:47,438
I'm thinking Helvetica
but I could be persuaded to Courier New.
393
00:19:47,563 --> 00:19:50,775
But what the fuck do I know?
I'm just the sports editor.
394
00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:53,903
- You sure you're not gay?
- Yep.
395
00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:55,237
- I'm sure.
- Okay.
396
00:19:55,363 --> 00:19:57,031
All right.
397
00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:01,035
_l-ley-
_l-ley-
398
00:20:01,118 --> 00:20:03,704
I'd knock, but you don't have a door.
399
00:20:03,788 --> 00:20:05,164
- I don't.
- No.
400
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,415
Hey, check this out.
401
00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:08,918
Dunkin-My- Tits-Hynes. com.
402
00:20:09,043 --> 00:20:12,254
- Yeah, it really does exist.
- I told you, but not that. This.
403
00:20:14,423 --> 00:20:15,424
Awesome.
404
00:20:15,549 --> 00:20:17,259
But it'd be even more awesome
if this happened.
405
00:20:18,969 --> 00:20:20,262
Wait for it.
406
00:20:21,138 --> 00:20:22,181
Nice!
407
00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:24,392
I got in touch with a guy
who puts flash mobs together.
408
00:20:24,475 --> 00:20:26,811
We're thinking about using them
for guerrilla advertising.
409
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:29,271
Taking something so pure
and commercializing it?
410
00:20:29,814 --> 00:20:31,065
Knew I found the right guy.
411
00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:33,275
- Here I am.
- Okay. Here's your contract.
412
00:20:33,401 --> 00:20:34,944
Sign it and I will be out of here.
413
00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:36,946
Okay.
414
00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:39,949
A whole year?
415
00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:43,911
Why do I get the feeling this is the first
real commitment you've ever made?
416
00:20:43,994 --> 00:20:46,414
It's not. T-Mobile, two years.
417
00:20:46,497 --> 00:20:47,665
And, fuck, do I regret that one.
418
00:20:47,832 --> 00:20:50,292
Do me a favor.
Don't quit or get fired before the year's up,
419
00:20:50,418 --> 00:20:51,836
because otherwise I don't get my bonus.
420
00:20:51,961 --> 00:20:53,337
Wait, I can leave whenever I want?
421
00:20:54,171 --> 00:20:56,132
- What's the point of this contract?
- Just sign the damn thing.
422
00:20:56,424 --> 00:20:57,466
Okay.
423
00:20:59,969 --> 00:21:02,138
Nice doing business with you, Dylan Harper.
424
00:21:03,681 --> 00:21:06,475
Hey, I was thinking of getting some lunch.
Do you know a place?
425
00:21:08,602 --> 00:21:09,812
Are you asking me out?
426
00:21:10,980 --> 00:21:12,440
Whoa, I'm not asking you out.
427
00:21:12,523 --> 00:21:13,691
I'm asking you to show me a restaurant.
428
00:21:13,816 --> 00:21:15,443
I mean, I'm the only friend you have
in New York.
429
00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:17,778
- You don't wanna complicate that.
- I know. I'm not asking you out.
430
00:21:17,862 --> 00:21:19,864
I mean, sure, we'd have fun, roll around,
431
00:21:19,989 --> 00:21:22,158
-get into some erotic humiliation fantasy.
- Erotic?
432
00:21:22,283 --> 00:21:25,619
But it'd all blow up in our faces, end badly,
and we'd never speak to each other again.
433
00:21:25,703 --> 00:21:27,329
I'm not fucking asking you out!
I swear to God!
434
00:21:27,455 --> 00:21:29,707
Okay. You don't like me like that.
435
00:21:29,999 --> 00:21:32,001
You don't have to be so mean about it.
436
00:21:33,169 --> 00:21:34,962
I'm sorry. I didn't...
437
00:21:36,172 --> 00:21:38,507
God, you're such a girl.
Come on, it's my treat.
438
00:21:40,176 --> 00:21:41,677
So was it an easy move?
439
00:21:41,844 --> 00:21:43,679
- It was tough leaving my dad.
- Yeah.
440
00:21:43,804 --> 00:21:45,139
My sister gave me some shit.
441
00:21:45,514 --> 00:21:47,391
But timing was right.
442
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,270
Timing was really right.
443
00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:53,564
- Is that your sister?
- No. My ex.
444
00:21:53,689 --> 00:21:55,858
She's great. Loves John Mayer.
445
00:21:56,734 --> 00:21:58,194
Wants us to stay friends.
446
00:21:59,987 --> 00:22:03,407
She's also convinced she can cure me
of my emotional unavailability.
447
00:22:05,201 --> 00:22:07,036
- You're emotionally unavailable?
- Oh, yeah.
448
00:22:07,203 --> 00:22:10,706
Oh, my God. I'm emotionally damaged.
I haven't seen you at the meetings.
449
00:22:11,207 --> 00:22:13,167
I'm done with the relationship thing.
450
00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:15,461
Girl, you are preaching to the congregation.
451
00:22:15,544 --> 00:22:16,587
- Choir.
- What?
452
00:22:16,754 --> 00:22:19,381
"Preaching to the choir." You're supposed
to preach to the congregation.
453
00:22:19,507 --> 00:22:21,425
- That's the expression.
- Did you understand what I was saying?
454
00:22:21,550 --> 00:22:22,593
Then don't be a dick about it.
455
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,430
Oh, my God. Do you mind?
456
00:22:27,056 --> 00:22:28,349
- Please.
- Great.
457
00:22:28,557 --> 00:22:31,101
Hello. You've reached
Dylan Harper's cell phone.
458
00:22:31,227 --> 00:22:32,978
He's emotionally unavailable,
but if you'd like...
459
00:22:33,062 --> 00:22:35,064
- John fucking Mayer!
- Hello?
460
00:22:37,525 --> 00:22:40,528
Wow. Hello?
You really do have shitty cell service.
461
00:22:40,611 --> 00:22:41,737
- Right?
- Yeah.
462
00:22:44,448 --> 00:22:45,616
I'm gonna have some friends over tomorrow.
463
00:22:46,116 --> 00:22:48,077
Why don't you come,
and you can meet some new people?
464
00:22:48,577 --> 00:22:50,704
I'm gonna have to check my schedule.
I'm really busy.
465
00:22:50,788 --> 00:22:53,290
I work at GQ now.
It's not some little blog on the Internet.
466
00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:57,795
_l-ley-
_l-ley-
467
00:22:57,962 --> 00:22:59,296
- You made it.
- Sorry I'm late.
468
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:02,091
No, no. Please, come in, come in. Thank you.
469
00:23:02,550 --> 00:23:04,093
Hey, everybody! Hey!
470
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:07,263
This here is Dylan. He's from LA.
471
00:23:08,764 --> 00:23:10,891
He's the reason I can afford all this beer.
472
00:23:13,727 --> 00:23:14,770
Okay, all right.
473
00:23:17,731 --> 00:23:19,441
Am I an animal?
474
00:23:20,943 --> 00:23:21,944
Yeah.
475
00:23:22,778 --> 00:23:24,071
Fuck, I'm pretty good at this.
476
00:23:49,805 --> 00:23:53,309
Lieutenant Kali's a West Coast street artist
I got into about five years ago.
477
00:23:53,767 --> 00:23:56,645
- His postmodern interpretation...
- This shit is amazing.
478
00:23:56,770 --> 00:23:57,813
I know, right?
479
00:24:01,942 --> 00:24:05,446
You will be able to find the perfect candidate
to fill the position at your company.
480
00:24:06,155 --> 00:24:07,156
Okay, here we go.
481
00:24:08,532 --> 00:24:11,493
First up is Joey Morena,
who's fluent in Vietnamese
482
00:24:11,619 --> 00:24:13,662
and has had 10 years of experience
in the culinary field.
483
00:24:21,670 --> 00:24:23,130
I can't do this any more.
484
00:24:24,548 --> 00:24:27,176
No, I think we both need to go get happy.
485
00:24:27,843 --> 00:24:29,637
It's not adding up to a hundred any more.
486
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:30,804
Yeah.
487
00:24:30,888 --> 00:24:32,723
Looks like New York's all out of blueberries.
488
00:24:33,015 --> 00:24:34,224
Goodbye, Flapjack.
489
00:24:36,393 --> 00:24:38,020
Taxi! Taxicab!
490
00:24:38,312 --> 00:24:39,313
Flapjack.
491
00:24:39,396 --> 00:24:41,857
Why do all these movies
have such bad music?
492
00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:44,693
It's so that you know how to feel
every single second.
493
00:24:44,860 --> 00:24:45,903
"I'm heartbroken."
494
00:24:48,572 --> 00:24:50,574
"I'm getting married
to the man of my dreams."
495
00:24:53,661 --> 00:24:55,663
"I'm sneaking through an office."
496
00:24:58,916 --> 00:25:00,000
Madison, wait!
497
00:25:00,709 --> 00:25:02,419
Madison!
498
00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:04,421
Madison, wait!
499
00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:06,590
Bryce.
500
00:25:07,174 --> 00:25:09,385
How did you know
I was at Grand Central Station?
501
00:25:09,510 --> 00:25:12,346
You're not. You're in Los Angeles,
where this movie was shot.
502
00:25:12,429 --> 00:25:14,223
I know you better than you know yourself.
503
00:25:15,599 --> 00:25:18,185
And your crazy friend Susie
across the hall told me.
504
00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:19,937
Susie.
505
00:25:20,854 --> 00:25:22,189
Why are you here?
506
00:25:22,398 --> 00:25:23,607
To tell you that
507
00:25:24,733 --> 00:25:26,610
I love that sunsets make you cry,
508
00:25:27,236 --> 00:25:30,072
and I don't care that you failed
your real estate exam,
509
00:25:30,698 --> 00:25:32,616
and I'm glad that you have a five-date rule.
510
00:25:33,909 --> 00:25:35,786
And that I love you.
511
00:25:36,412 --> 00:25:37,955
Not as much as I love you.
512
00:25:40,416 --> 00:25:42,584
Now boarding, track 5, love.
513
00:25:43,085 --> 00:25:45,421
God, I wish my life was a movie sometimes.
514
00:25:45,754 --> 00:25:47,548
You know, I'd never have to worry
about my hair,
515
00:25:47,798 --> 00:25:49,383
or having to go to the bathroom.
516
00:25:49,883 --> 00:25:51,969
And then, when I'm at my lowest point,
517
00:25:52,261 --> 00:25:55,431
some guy would chase me down the street,
pour his heart out,
518
00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:56,640
and we'd kiss.
519
00:25:57,474 --> 00:25:58,809
Happily ever after.
520
00:26:00,561 --> 00:26:02,604
I mean, a horse and carriage?
521
00:26:02,771 --> 00:26:05,774
Come on, that is awesome.
522
00:26:05,899 --> 00:26:08,360
Not as awesome as this
ambiguously upbeat pop song
523
00:26:08,444 --> 00:26:10,070
that has nothing to do with the plot
524
00:26:10,154 --> 00:26:14,908
they put in at the end to try to convince you
that you had a great time at this shitty movie.
525
00:26:15,951 --> 00:26:18,954
You know, why don't they ever make a movie
about what happens after the big kiss?
526
00:26:19,079 --> 00:26:20,247
They do. It's called porn.
527
00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:24,251
God, I miss sex.
528
00:26:25,627 --> 00:26:27,629
Right? I mean, sometimes you just need it.
It's like...
529
00:26:28,922 --> 00:26:30,632
I don't know, it's like cracking your neck.
530
00:26:30,924 --> 00:26:32,801
Why does it always gotta
come with complications?
531
00:26:32,926 --> 00:26:34,803
- And emotions.
- And guilt.
532
00:26:35,304 --> 00:26:36,305
Guilt.
533
00:26:36,805 --> 00:26:38,682
- It's women's fault.
- What?
534
00:26:38,849 --> 00:26:42,519
You heard me. "Hold me.
Let's spend the rest of our lives together."
535
00:26:42,644 --> 00:26:44,021
Oh, please, you are no better.
536
00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:47,983
"Oh, yeah, baby, come on, now.
Say my name. Yeah...
537
00:26:48,817 --> 00:26:50,694
"I'm done. How was I?"
538
00:26:50,819 --> 00:26:51,820
Who have you been with?
539
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,823
Why can't it not be like that?
540
00:26:54,990 --> 00:26:59,369
It's a physical act. Like playing tennis.
541
00:26:59,828 --> 00:27:02,039
Two people should be able to have sex
like they're playing tennis.
542
00:27:02,164 --> 00:27:03,957
Yeah, I mean, no one wants to
go away for the weekend
543
00:27:04,041 --> 00:27:05,334
after they play tennis.
544
00:27:05,959 --> 00:27:08,712
It's just a game.
You shake hands, get on with your shit.
545
00:27:09,004 --> 00:27:10,172
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
546
00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:13,884
Do you want more beer?
547
00:27:14,843 --> 00:27:16,011
Okay.
548
00:27:23,727 --> 00:27:24,812
- Jamie!
- Yeah?
549
00:27:25,395 --> 00:27:27,105
- Let's play tennis.
- What?
550
00:27:27,189 --> 00:27:28,565
Let's have sex like we're playing tennis.
551
00:27:28,690 --> 00:27:29,900
Get the hell out of here.
552
00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:32,694
Don't laugh. This could be great.
553
00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:34,404
This could take all the weirdness out of it.
554
00:27:34,530 --> 00:27:36,949
Well, we talked about this.
I don't like you like that.
555
00:27:37,032 --> 00:27:39,576
I don't like you like that either.
That's why it's perfect.
556
00:27:40,702 --> 00:27:42,496
I don't even know if I find you attractive.
557
00:27:42,579 --> 00:27:43,705
That's cute.
558
00:27:43,831 --> 00:27:45,415
Well, I do have a thing for jerks
559
00:27:46,542 --> 00:27:48,168
Okay, well, do you even find me attractive?
560
00:27:48,252 --> 00:27:49,670
- That's cute.
- No, no, no.
561
00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:52,214
Before you got to know
my awesome personality.
562
00:27:52,381 --> 00:27:53,382
Strictly physical.
563
00:27:54,258 --> 00:27:55,676
First time you saw me.
564
00:27:57,052 --> 00:27:59,221
- This is just two people talking?
- Yeah.
565
00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:02,724
Two girls over drinks at Bennigan's. Go.
566
00:28:04,393 --> 00:28:07,396
I liked your eyes. I didn't think
I'd ever seen such big, beautiful eyes.
567
00:28:10,357 --> 00:28:13,527
Your lips. Yeah.
I thought you might be a good kisser.
568
00:28:13,861 --> 00:28:15,028
I am.
569
00:28:15,529 --> 00:28:16,905
- Your breasts.
- What about them?
570
00:28:17,030 --> 00:28:18,323
- They intrigued me.
- Really?
571
00:28:18,407 --> 00:28:20,701
- Yeah.
- I think they're so tiny.
572
00:28:21,201 --> 00:28:22,744
- They're still breasts.
- Thanks.
573
00:28:23,954 --> 00:28:25,455
- I liked your hands.
- Mouth.
574
00:28:25,789 --> 00:28:26,832
- Butt.
- Voice.
575
00:28:26,915 --> 00:28:27,958
- Chest.
- Eyes.
576
00:28:28,083 --> 00:28:29,626
- You said that.
- I meant it.
577
00:28:32,963 --> 00:28:35,757
You swear you don't want anything more
from me other than sex?
578
00:28:35,883 --> 00:28:37,593
You swear you don't want anything
more from me?
579
00:28:38,218 --> 00:28:41,263
I know how you girls get.
Tick-took, tick-tock.
580
00:28:41,388 --> 00:28:42,431
Stop it.
581
00:28:43,473 --> 00:28:47,436
- What are you doing?
- I'm pulling up my Bible app.
582
00:28:47,728 --> 00:28:50,397
- You have a Bible app?
- Yes. lam a good girl.
583
00:28:50,606 --> 00:28:51,773
- Hand on the iPad.
- Okay.
584
00:28:51,982 --> 00:28:53,275
Wait, no.
585
00:28:53,567 --> 00:28:54,610
Why can't they figure this out?
586
00:28:54,985 --> 00:28:58,113
No... This thing thinks I'm you and you're me.
587
00:28:58,238 --> 00:28:59,698
Keep your hand still. I'll move the iPad.
588
00:28:59,781 --> 00:29:01,116
- It's actually making me dizzy.
- Hold on.
589
00:29:02,451 --> 00:29:03,660
There we go.
590
00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:09,458
No relationship.
591
00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:11,001
No emotions.
592
00:29:11,752 --> 00:29:12,753
Justsex.
593
00:29:12,836 --> 00:29:15,464
Whatever happens, we stay friends.
594
00:29:15,756 --> 00:29:17,925
- Swear.
- Swear.
595
00:29:22,137 --> 00:29:23,305
Okay.
596
00:29:27,851 --> 00:29:30,312
So I guess we should just start.
597
00:29:31,647 --> 00:29:32,814
Okay.
598
00:29:33,982 --> 00:29:34,983
I'll serve.
599
00:29:35,108 --> 00:29:37,402
That's really... That's enough of the tennis.
600
00:29:37,486 --> 00:29:38,570
Let's go to the bedroom.
601
00:29:38,654 --> 00:29:40,656
What's wrong with the couch?
It's less emotional.
602
00:29:40,781 --> 00:29:42,115
The bedroom has better light.
603
00:29:42,366 --> 00:29:44,910
And since we're just friends,
I don't have to be insecure about my body.
604
00:29:44,993 --> 00:29:46,995
Come on, okay? You're beautiful.
605
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,164
You have nothing to be insecure about.
606
00:29:50,707 --> 00:29:53,210
No, you see,
that is way too emotionally supportive
607
00:29:53,335 --> 00:29:55,295
and you need to just lock that down.
608
00:29:57,547 --> 00:29:59,633
- Your ass is a little bony.
- Much better.
609
00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:02,678
My nipples are sensitive,
I don't like dirty talk,
610
00:30:02,803 --> 00:30:05,806
and had I known this was gonna happen,
I would have shaved my legs this morning.
611
00:30:05,889 --> 00:30:08,433
My chin is ticklish,
I sneeze sometimes after I come,
612
00:30:08,517 --> 00:30:09,977
and if I'd have known
this was gonna happen,
613
00:30:10,060 --> 00:30:11,269
I wouldn't have shaved my legs this morning.
614
00:30:11,353 --> 00:30:12,521
Okie-dokie.
615
00:30:14,731 --> 00:30:17,150
I keep my socks on. Intimacy issues.
616
00:30:17,234 --> 00:30:19,152
Great, 'cause feet gross me out.
Daddy issues.
617
00:30:19,236 --> 00:30:20,570
Great.
618
00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:25,993
I can work with that.
619
00:30:28,870 --> 00:30:29,913
Should be fine.
620
00:30:32,874 --> 00:30:34,251
I can't believe I'm doing this.
621
00:30:34,584 --> 00:30:36,294
Should we stop? We could just go for a run.
622
00:30:36,378 --> 00:30:37,921
I don't know, are we getting too old for this?
623
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,590
- Sex?
- No, casual sex.
624
00:30:40,716 --> 00:30:43,427
It just, I don't know, feels a little collegey.
625
00:30:43,719 --> 00:30:45,554
- I could sing some Third Eye Blind.
- Okay.
626
00:30:49,099 --> 00:30:51,476
- That's not Third Eye Blind.
- I'm pretty sure that's Third Eye Blind.
627
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:52,602
Nope.
628
00:30:56,857 --> 00:30:58,567
- What's wrong?
- We're just doing this once.
629
00:30:58,692 --> 00:30:59,860
- I totally agree.
- Okay.
630
00:30:59,943 --> 00:31:01,153
- Great.
- Great.
631
00:31:01,236 --> 00:31:02,446
Little faster.
632
00:31:02,571 --> 00:31:04,573
- More circular.
- Watch my chin.
633
00:31:04,865 --> 00:31:06,074
- Touch my ears.
- Okay.
634
00:31:07,617 --> 00:31:08,952
Kiss my neck.
635
00:31:10,037 --> 00:31:11,621
- Say my name.
- Dylan Francis Harper Jr.
636
00:31:11,747 --> 00:31:12,748
Not my full name.
637
00:31:12,873 --> 00:31:14,082
Sorry, I had to fill out
a lot of your paperwork.
638
00:31:14,207 --> 00:31:15,250
- Stop talking.
- Okay.
639
00:31:15,375 --> 00:31:17,252
Oh, my God, you're really...
640
00:31:19,087 --> 00:31:24,593
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P...
641
00:31:24,718 --> 00:31:27,054
- Dylan, I...
- Relax.
642
00:31:27,137 --> 00:31:29,306
Just a friend going down on another friend.
643
00:31:29,431 --> 00:31:31,141
Oh, yeah, baby. Tornado.
644
00:31:35,395 --> 00:31:36,438
What, what?
645
00:31:36,605 --> 00:31:38,690
What are you trying to do?
Dig your way to China?
646
00:31:38,774 --> 00:31:40,150
- I'm good at this.
- Says who?
647
00:31:40,275 --> 00:31:41,610
Every girl I've been with.
648
00:31:41,735 --> 00:31:44,112
Well, they're either lying
or their vaginae are made out of burlap.
649
00:31:44,279 --> 00:31:46,114
So, relax. You're not a lizard.
650
00:31:46,448 --> 00:31:47,949
- Okay, fine.
- Okay, fine.
651
00:31:50,744 --> 00:31:52,245
- A little to the right.
- Okay.
652
00:31:52,454 --> 00:31:54,081
- A little bit more to the left.
- Roger that.
653
00:31:54,164 --> 00:31:55,624
- Now go down.
- Here we go.
654
00:31:55,916 --> 00:31:58,251
- A little more... Whoa, too far!
- Sorry.
655
00:32:04,007 --> 00:32:05,258
- What's wrong?
- Nothing!
656
00:32:05,342 --> 00:32:06,843
When women start to scream,
it could be misconstrued.
657
00:32:06,968 --> 00:32:08,428
Just keep going!
658
00:32:17,979 --> 00:32:19,022
Yeah, you know it.
659
00:32:23,777 --> 00:32:25,821
Well, let me tell you how I like it.
660
00:32:26,780 --> 00:32:28,740
See, most girls think
you should start off soft,
661
00:32:28,824 --> 00:32:32,285
but if you just get in, really go for it...
662
00:32:45,132 --> 00:32:46,508
Yeah, you know it.
663
00:33:05,861 --> 00:33:08,947
- Let's go with Obama.
- No, no, no, no!
664
00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:11,867
It's too easy, too predictable. Go with Shaun.
665
00:33:11,992 --> 00:33:16,872
He's stylish, transcendent of sport,
has an ass like a kumquat.
666
00:33:17,247 --> 00:33:19,875
- I hear he's kind of a jerk.
- No, he's not.
667
00:33:20,041 --> 00:33:21,084
You're just threatened by him
668
00:33:21,209 --> 00:33:23,628
because he's the greatest snow sport athlete
in the universe
669
00:33:23,712 --> 00:33:25,672
and he gets more squirrel than an oak tree.
670
00:33:25,755 --> 00:33:27,924
Hey, Dylan?
Jamie Rellis is in the lobby for you.
671
00:33:28,049 --> 00:33:29,092
Okay, thanks.
672
00:33:29,718 --> 00:33:31,511
Let's hit this after lunch. Okay, guys?
673
00:33:32,053 --> 00:33:34,181
Nobody wants to fuck Obama, brah.
674
00:33:34,264 --> 00:33:35,599
He's got ears like an elephant.
675
00:33:35,724 --> 00:33:37,893
That's not the part of an elephant you want.
676
00:33:41,938 --> 00:33:43,064
- Hi!
- Hi.
677
00:33:46,526 --> 00:33:48,278
Sorry to just show up like this.
678
00:33:48,445 --> 00:33:49,571
No, no, no, it's fine.
679
00:33:50,363 --> 00:33:51,406
So...
680
00:33:54,201 --> 00:33:55,243
- Wanna take a walk?
- Love to.
681
00:33:55,410 --> 00:33:57,621
Great. Okay.
682
00:34:03,418 --> 00:34:04,711
Okay, so about what happened, I...
683
00:34:04,794 --> 00:34:07,672
- It was crazy and we shouldn't have done it.
- Exactly. No, no, exactly.
684
00:34:07,756 --> 00:34:09,007
I mean, it is so not me.
685
00:34:09,090 --> 00:34:11,092
I totally agree. Let's forget it happened.
686
00:34:11,384 --> 00:34:14,763
Great. I mean, look,
I've had one-night stands.
687
00:34:14,888 --> 00:34:18,099
We both have had one-night stands,
none of which we're proud of, but...
688
00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:20,101
Really?
689
00:34:20,977 --> 00:34:23,146
Look, to think that you and I
could just have sex
690
00:34:23,271 --> 00:34:25,440
and without it compromising anything
was just so...
691
00:34:25,607 --> 00:34:27,901
- Misguided.
- Exactly.
692
00:34:28,151 --> 00:34:29,486
I was gonna call you this morning.
693
00:34:29,736 --> 00:34:30,779
But you didn't.
694
00:34:30,946 --> 00:34:31,947
But I didn't.
695
00:34:32,113 --> 00:34:34,282
And you see, it's already
coming between us and I really...
696
00:34:34,407 --> 00:34:35,700
I just don't want it to.
697
00:34:35,784 --> 00:34:36,826
It's not going to.
698
00:34:36,952 --> 00:34:39,829
Look, I know that I act all tough
and I talk all tough, but really...
699
00:34:39,955 --> 00:34:42,749
It's just a front to protect yourself
from your own vulnerability.
700
00:34:43,667 --> 00:34:45,293
What are you, my fucking therapist now?
701
00:34:45,502 --> 00:34:50,090
No, I'm a friend. Who knows that
every time you curse, you blink.
702
00:34:50,298 --> 00:34:53,635
- Like your body's rejecting the word.
- It does not.
703
00:34:53,802 --> 00:34:54,803
- Fuck you
- Blinked.
704
00:34:54,928 --> 00:34:56,638
- No, I didn't fucking blink.
- Blinked again.
705
00:34:56,805 --> 00:34:58,431
- Shit.
- Ah, didn't blink.
706
00:34:59,015 --> 00:35:00,100
"Shit" you're okay with.
707
00:35:01,017 --> 00:35:02,185
- It was stupid.
- Yes.
708
00:35:02,310 --> 00:35:05,188
- We're friends, let's stay friends.
- Yes. Yes, this, I don't wanna lose this.
709
00:35:05,313 --> 00:35:06,439
Me neither.
710
00:35:06,648 --> 00:35:07,649
- Great.
- Fantastic.
711
00:35:07,816 --> 00:35:09,609
Portrait for the lovely couple?
712
00:35:18,159 --> 00:35:19,786
- What the hell are we doing?
- I don't know.
713
00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:24,332
- Rub my hair.
- Kiss my neck.
714
00:35:27,460 --> 00:35:28,503
- Watch my nipple.
- All right, all right.
715
00:35:30,338 --> 00:35:32,007
- I didn't know you had a tattoo.
- Yeah.
716
00:35:32,340 --> 00:35:33,466
Why didn't I notice that before?
717
00:35:33,675 --> 00:35:35,051
Because we were drunk.
718
00:35:35,302 --> 00:35:37,137
- Was it your dog?
- No. Never had one.
719
00:35:37,304 --> 00:35:38,388
But everyone else did.
720
00:35:38,513 --> 00:35:40,181
And I thought having a dog
meant you had a normal family,
721
00:35:40,307 --> 00:35:41,975
which at 17 I desperately wanted.
722
00:35:42,058 --> 00:35:43,977
So as a sign of rebellion you got a tattoo
723
00:35:44,185 --> 00:35:45,645
of the most conventional thing
you could think of.
724
00:35:45,729 --> 00:35:47,355
It was super awesome back then.
725
00:35:47,564 --> 00:35:48,648
- Check it.
- Okay.
726
00:35:48,857 --> 00:35:50,108
- A lightning bolt?
- Eighteen.
727
00:35:50,191 --> 00:35:51,401
- Wanted superpowers.
- Yeah.
728
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,237
I was a little into Harry Potter back then.
729
00:35:54,362 --> 00:35:56,948
- Were you also gay back then?
- Harry Potter doesn't make you gay!
730
00:35:57,032 --> 00:35:58,825
- Okay.
- Are you sure about this?
731
00:35:58,908 --> 00:35:59,951
- Are you?
- No.
732
00:36:00,035 --> 00:36:01,202
Me neither.
733
00:36:05,665 --> 00:36:07,876
- How was your day?
- It was okay.
734
00:36:08,501 --> 00:36:10,211
- I had a turkey sandwich for lunch.
- How was that?
735
00:36:10,337 --> 00:36:12,047
It wasn't that good. How was your day?
736
00:36:12,172 --> 00:36:14,549
Still trying to figure out that subway system.
It is tricky.
737
00:36:17,385 --> 00:36:18,887
And it's out of here!
738
00:36:25,226 --> 00:36:26,895
- My butt.
- What?
739
00:36:27,020 --> 00:36:28,563
- Oh, my butt.
- Really?
740
00:36:28,730 --> 00:36:31,816
No, I mean my butt, it's cramping.
Can you grab a pillow?
741
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:33,109
Okay, yeah, yeah.
742
00:36:34,569 --> 00:36:36,237
- So, no butt?
- No.
743
00:36:39,741 --> 00:36:42,202
- Really? Already?
- Just kidding.
744
00:36:47,123 --> 00:36:49,417
- Do you like this position?
- Yeah, it's all right.
745
00:36:52,045 --> 00:36:54,255
I gotta be honest, I feel a little emasculated.
746
00:36:55,090 --> 00:36:59,135
A naked girl is lying on top of you
and you feel emasculated?
747
00:37:00,470 --> 00:37:02,680
- Little bit.
- You do know what that word means, right?
748
00:37:02,764 --> 00:37:04,808
Yes, I know what it means, and I feel it.
749
00:37:04,933 --> 00:37:07,102
Okay, all right, you big baby.
750
00:37:07,644 --> 00:37:09,396
- Chinese fire drill.
- Okay. Go!
751
00:37:11,606 --> 00:37:12,774
Okay.
752
00:37:15,610 --> 00:37:17,070
- Do you feel manly now?
- I do.
753
00:37:17,278 --> 00:37:18,488
Okay. Put it in.
754
00:37:19,948 --> 00:37:20,949
That's not funny.
755
00:37:21,282 --> 00:37:22,784
- It's kind of funny.
- It's kind of funny.
756
00:37:27,288 --> 00:37:28,456
- Hold on.
- What's wrong?
757
00:37:28,581 --> 00:37:29,582
I have to go to the bathroom.
758
00:37:29,666 --> 00:37:32,001
- What? Now?
- Yes, now. I had a lot of watermelon.
759
00:37:43,304 --> 00:37:44,347
What's going on in there?
760
00:37:44,472 --> 00:37:46,099
Do you know how hard it is
to pee with a hard-on?
761
00:37:46,182 --> 00:37:47,225
No, actually.
762
00:37:47,308 --> 00:37:49,602
It's like two lanes of traffic merging into one.
It takes time.
763
00:37:56,276 --> 00:37:57,777
- Are you pooping?
- No.
764
00:37:57,861 --> 00:37:59,988
- Why are you sitting down?
- It's easier to control.
765
00:38:00,196 --> 00:38:02,991
- You want a mess in here?
- No. No, no. Sorry.
766
00:38:17,005 --> 00:38:18,173
Yeah.
767
00:38:18,965 --> 00:38:20,008
Yup.
768
00:38:23,136 --> 00:38:24,220
What? Did I leak?
769
00:38:24,345 --> 00:38:25,346
Did you wash your hands?
770
00:38:25,847 --> 00:38:26,890
Oh, come on, dude.
771
00:38:27,015 --> 00:38:28,641
I know we're just friends, but I'm still a lady.
772
00:38:29,017 --> 00:38:32,353
Now get back in there, wash your hands
and then bring that fine ass back here.
773
00:38:32,479 --> 00:38:35,023
If you keep talking to me like that,
I'm not gonna come back.
774
00:38:40,695 --> 00:38:43,573
- My hammies are killing me.
- Have a banana, they're in the fridge.
775
00:38:43,823 --> 00:38:45,074
Why would you keep bananas in the fridge?
776
00:38:45,366 --> 00:38:47,535
- It dries them out.
- It doesn't. They have a peel.
777
00:38:47,660 --> 00:38:49,162
It's not armor. Air still gets in.
778
00:38:49,245 --> 00:38:50,497
Do you want a banana or not?
779
00:38:50,705 --> 00:38:52,081
Not if they're dry. I'm not an animal.
780
00:38:54,334 --> 00:38:55,877
At least I have food in the house.
781
00:38:56,169 --> 00:38:57,837
All you have at home is drinkable yogurt.
782
00:38:58,171 --> 00:39:00,173
I like to drink my yogurt. It's a timesaver.
783
00:39:00,256 --> 00:39:02,717
Well, then you think you could use that time
to shave your stubble.
784
00:39:02,842 --> 00:39:04,302
Your whiskers are like knives.
785
00:39:04,385 --> 00:39:08,056
Now, see, if you were my girlfriend,
I couldn't tell you to shut up right now.
786
00:39:08,223 --> 00:39:10,558
And because you're just my buddy,
I can tell you
787
00:39:10,683 --> 00:39:15,396
that if you don't start shaving up here,
I'm gonna stop shaving down there.
788
00:39:20,276 --> 00:39:21,486
Hey, hey. Hey...
789
00:39:21,569 --> 00:39:23,112
- Mom!
_"Momll?
790
00:39:24,572 --> 00:39:27,116
My eyes are covered.
I don't know what you're doing.
791
00:39:27,242 --> 00:39:29,911
I can't see you putting on
your black underpants.
792
00:39:30,036 --> 00:39:31,996
Jamie, baby, I missed you.
793
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,414
Oh, baby.
794
00:39:33,706 --> 00:39:35,917
Did your boobs get bigger?
Mom, I'm over here.
795
00:39:36,459 --> 00:39:39,045
Hey, baby. Oh, no, they didn't.
796
00:39:39,254 --> 00:39:42,966
- What are you doing here?
- Victor turned out to be a total Lombard.
797
00:39:43,258 --> 00:39:46,594
L-O-M-B-A-R-D.
"Lots Of Money But A Real Dullard."
798
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:47,971
Victor, her fiancé.
799
00:39:48,096 --> 00:39:49,472
Ex-fiancé.
800
00:39:49,597 --> 00:39:51,641
- What happened?
- Nothing. He was just blah.
801
00:39:51,766 --> 00:39:53,601
I mean, nice, but it was like talking to dirt.
802
00:39:53,726 --> 00:39:56,437
I woke up one day and I said, "Lorna..."
I'm Lorna.
803
00:39:57,438 --> 00:40:00,275
- Dylan.
- I said, "Lorna, this is not your bliss.
804
00:40:00,650 --> 00:40:02,360
-"Just because you're 39..."
- Forty-eight.
805
00:40:02,443 --> 00:40:05,071
"...It doesn't mean you have to settle.
He's not an insurance claim."
806
00:40:05,154 --> 00:40:07,031
So I caught the first plane off the island.
807
00:40:07,115 --> 00:40:09,784
- Cleveland's not an island.
- Oh, baby, it is.
808
00:40:10,118 --> 00:40:12,745
Anyway, here I am. It's so good to see you.
809
00:40:12,829 --> 00:40:15,248
You never told me you had a hot boyfriend.
810
00:40:15,456 --> 00:40:17,208
He's not my boyfriend, Mom.
811
00:40:17,292 --> 00:40:19,168
- That's right, we're just friends.
- I love it.
812
00:40:19,294 --> 00:40:21,671
It's like the '70s in here.
813
00:40:22,463 --> 00:40:24,632
That was a better time. Just sex.
814
00:40:24,757 --> 00:40:27,802
A little grass, a little glue...
Not during pregnancy.
815
00:40:27,927 --> 00:40:29,596
Well, not during the final trimester.
816
00:40:29,679 --> 00:40:32,181
But no complications. It's great!
817
00:40:33,433 --> 00:40:35,852
Okay, well, that's technically, I guess,
what this is.
818
00:40:36,019 --> 00:40:37,312
That's exactly what this is.
819
00:40:37,437 --> 00:40:39,272
So my daughter is just your slampiece?
820
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,316
No, no. "Slampiece"?
821
00:40:41,441 --> 00:40:43,651
I'm just kidding. Slam away.
822
00:40:43,818 --> 00:40:45,111
Have fun. I think this is great.
823
00:40:45,194 --> 00:40:46,821
The only thing is, it takes you off the market.
824
00:40:46,988 --> 00:40:48,948
But what the hell.
The whole reason you go to the market
825
00:40:49,032 --> 00:40:51,784
is to buy the produce, which you already got.
826
00:40:52,994 --> 00:40:56,998
It's so good to see you, baby.
I'm only gonna be here a few weeks.
827
00:40:57,123 --> 00:40:59,000
I'm starving. You got any gin?
828
00:40:59,334 --> 00:41:00,960
It's in the kitchen.
829
00:41:02,462 --> 00:41:03,504
You gotta go.
830
00:41:03,963 --> 00:41:06,299
- Is she wearing Axe body spray?
- I don't know. Come on.
831
00:41:06,382 --> 00:41:08,676
Bananas in the refrigerator?
What are you, Puerto Rican?
832
00:41:09,010 --> 00:41:12,555
- That is terrible, Mother.
- Just joking. Your dad was Puerto Rican
833
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,182
What? You said that he was Greek.
834
00:41:14,349 --> 00:41:15,808
- Potato, potato...
- Get your shoes.
835
00:41:15,892 --> 00:41:18,436
- Okay. All right.
- Well, not... Just go, just go.
836
00:41:18,519 --> 00:41:20,063
I'll just put these on on the bike?
837
00:41:20,188 --> 00:41:21,230
- Yeah.
- Okay.
838
00:41:21,856 --> 00:41:22,899
It was nice to have met you...
839
00:41:23,024 --> 00:41:24,609
- Hey.
- And your pants are coming off.
840
00:41:24,692 --> 00:41:26,736
Oh, my... Mom! Mom, please!
841
00:41:29,030 --> 00:41:30,031
Back,back!
842
00:41:33,826 --> 00:41:35,912
That's what I'm talking about!
843
00:41:36,704 --> 00:41:39,207
We're kicking every gay ass out here!
844
00:41:39,415 --> 00:41:41,751
I don't say that pejoratively,
I say it hopefully.
845
00:41:41,876 --> 00:41:43,378
Hold it. Any of you gay?
846
00:41:43,544 --> 00:41:45,046
- Not even you?
- Come on, man.
847
00:41:45,171 --> 00:41:47,256
Come talk to me after.
Give me five minutes of your time.
848
00:41:47,382 --> 00:41:49,092
I might be able to let you see some reason.
849
00:41:55,264 --> 00:41:57,016
Look at you in the house!
850
00:41:57,100 --> 00:41:58,226
Come on, baby!
851
00:41:59,727 --> 00:42:00,853
I'm supposed to meet up with Jamie.
852
00:42:01,938 --> 00:42:03,606
Who's that, that headhunter?
853
00:42:03,856 --> 00:42:05,191
What, you guys going out now?
854
00:42:05,274 --> 00:42:07,902
No, no, no, we're just friends.
We're messing around a little bit
855
00:42:08,277 --> 00:42:09,987
- What do you mean?
- Sleeping together.
856
00:42:10,071 --> 00:42:11,364
But it's just sex.
857
00:42:11,447 --> 00:42:13,074
That never works, bro.
858
00:42:13,199 --> 00:42:16,911
She's a girl. Sex always means more
to them even if they don't admit it.
859
00:42:17,078 --> 00:42:18,162
Jamie's different.
860
00:42:18,246 --> 00:42:20,832
Does she have a penis
where most girls have a vagina?
861
00:42:20,915 --> 00:42:22,583
- No penis.
- Then she's no different.
862
00:42:22,917 --> 00:42:24,293
What do you know about women, anyway?
863
00:42:24,419 --> 00:42:27,088
Dude, I've turned down more tail
than you'll ever have.
864
00:42:27,213 --> 00:42:28,297
Yeah, bro. You're gay.
865
00:42:28,631 --> 00:42:32,260
But the offers still keep rolling in, naturally.
Look at me.
866
00:42:32,635 --> 00:42:38,641
And, hey, I love women. They're beautiful,
majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures.
867
00:42:38,891 --> 00:42:42,729
Smart, empathetic.
Far superior to men in every way.
868
00:42:43,104 --> 00:42:46,566
And if I had a choice,
I would be with women to my dying day.
869
00:42:46,649 --> 00:42:49,819
But me likes cock so I'm strict-aly dick-aly.
870
00:42:50,903 --> 00:42:53,239
So it's always just about sex, then?
871
00:42:53,322 --> 00:42:56,659
No. I've been in love.
I went down that rabbit hole.
872
00:42:56,993 --> 00:42:58,286
You know what I discovered?
873
00:42:58,953 --> 00:43:01,038
It's not who you want to spend
Friday night with,
874
00:43:01,122 --> 00:43:03,583
it's who you want to spend
all day Saturday with.
875
00:43:03,666 --> 00:43:04,751
Feel me, Felix?
876
00:43:04,834 --> 00:43:08,171
Yeah, but then it's every Saturday
for the rest of your life.
877
00:43:08,755 --> 00:43:10,089
It's okay, you don't get it.
878
00:43:10,339 --> 00:43:12,508
It's no big deal. But you will.
879
00:43:13,176 --> 00:43:17,096
One day, you'll meet someone
and it'll literally take your breath away.
880
00:43:17,263 --> 00:43:21,350
Like you can't breathe.
Like no oxygen to the lungs.
881
00:43:21,517 --> 00:43:23,853
- Like a fish...
- Yeah, I get it, Tommy.
882
00:43:24,353 --> 00:43:25,438
Yeah, you don't.
883
00:43:25,980 --> 00:43:28,357
Nice work on that new online site,
by the way.
884
00:43:28,816 --> 00:43:30,318
What was the font on that headline?
885
00:43:30,610 --> 00:43:31,694
It was Times Roman.
886
00:43:31,819 --> 00:43:34,113
Times Roman. Inspired. I'm out.
887
00:43:40,661 --> 00:43:41,704
You have a boat?
888
00:43:41,871 --> 00:43:45,166
I live in Jersey. And I ain't taking no ferry.
889
00:43:45,833 --> 00:43:47,710
Unless it's out to dinner and a show.
890
00:44:04,018 --> 00:44:05,019
- Hey.
- Yeah.
891
00:44:05,144 --> 00:44:10,441
You and that Dylan? Way to go.
I mean the whole friendship-sex thing.
892
00:44:10,525 --> 00:44:12,193
Kudos, baby, kudos.
893
00:44:13,694 --> 00:44:15,029
It's not that big of a deal.
894
00:44:15,238 --> 00:44:19,158
It's just surprising. I always thought
you were a true-love kind of girl.
895
00:44:19,492 --> 00:44:22,537
Whatever, Mom.
It's not like it's stopping me from anything.
896
00:44:22,703 --> 00:44:24,539
That's what I thought back in '78.
897
00:44:25,206 --> 00:44:26,666
And every year since.
898
00:44:26,916 --> 00:44:29,252
I'm just... I'm flattered, actually.
899
00:44:29,377 --> 00:44:31,337
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
900
00:44:32,213 --> 00:44:34,006
It's just surprising.
901
00:44:35,508 --> 00:44:38,219
- There, done. It's... There we go.
- Okay.
902
00:44:39,846 --> 00:44:42,849
You look great! You look great.
You look like a princess.
903
00:44:43,558 --> 00:44:44,725
- Yeah!
- Really?
904
00:44:44,892 --> 00:44:46,227
- Yeah.
- Okay.
905
00:44:46,352 --> 00:44:50,189
Hey, my friend gave me his house
in Montauk for July 4th.
906
00:44:50,273 --> 00:44:53,192
Let's you and me go away together.
No men, no bullshit.
907
00:44:53,276 --> 00:44:56,070
Just mother-daughter.
Like a Nora Ephron movie.
908
00:44:56,863 --> 00:44:59,407
When was the last time
we spent a full weekend together?
909
00:44:59,574 --> 00:45:02,577
When I was eight, that time in Vermont.
We got snowed in with the ski instructor.
910
00:45:02,702 --> 00:45:03,786
- Demitri.
- Bill.
911
00:45:03,911 --> 00:45:05,246
He reminded me a lot of your father.
912
00:45:05,705 --> 00:45:08,916
Dark curls, olive skin, Cold War accent.
913
00:45:09,041 --> 00:45:10,877
- My father was Russian?
- I don't remember.
914
00:45:11,043 --> 00:45:14,088
But what I do remember is we drank
a lot of vodka and shot a lot of guns.
915
00:45:14,380 --> 00:45:17,758
Mom, this "who's your daddy" game
is getting really old.
916
00:45:17,884 --> 00:45:20,595
I know I haven't been
the best mother in the world...
917
00:45:23,598 --> 00:45:25,057
I'm sorry,
were you waiting for me to jump in?
918
00:45:25,266 --> 00:45:28,394
Come on! Go away with me. Come on!
919
00:45:29,228 --> 00:45:31,063
Come on. Come on.
920
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,317
Okay, we'll do it. It'll be fun, yeah?
921
00:45:40,948 --> 00:45:42,950
- Mom...
- I was trying to bond!
922
00:45:43,075 --> 00:45:45,453
It was either this or sniff glue.
923
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,252
- Sorry about my mom.
- I thought she was funny.
924
00:45:53,336 --> 00:45:56,130
Yeah, she's really funny
when she's asking for money,
925
00:45:56,255 --> 00:45:58,799
and she's hilarious
when she needs a place to stay.
926
00:46:04,138 --> 00:46:07,266
Dylan, I think I wanna start dating again.
927
00:46:08,142 --> 00:46:11,145
Listen, I think we should stop this.
928
00:46:14,106 --> 00:46:15,441
Yeah?
929
00:46:16,150 --> 00:46:17,193
I kind of think you're right.
930
00:46:17,318 --> 00:46:18,319
Right?
931
00:46:18,527 --> 00:46:24,033
Every new beginning
comes from some other beginning's end
932
00:46:24,450 --> 00:46:25,910
That actually makes sense right here.
933
00:46:25,993 --> 00:46:27,954
Who would've thought Third Eye Blind
could be so prophetic?
934
00:46:28,037 --> 00:46:29,163
Not Third Eye Blind.
935
00:46:29,288 --> 00:46:30,998
I'm pretty sure that's Third Eye Blind.
936
00:46:31,165 --> 00:46:32,291
Do you wanna go grab some lunch?
937
00:46:32,375 --> 00:46:33,501
- Yes.
- Okay.
938
00:46:33,709 --> 00:46:35,294
- You're buying.
- What?
939
00:46:37,546 --> 00:46:38,631
Okay.
940
00:46:41,008 --> 00:46:42,009
- Pants.
- Shirt.
941
00:46:42,802 --> 00:46:43,844
So this is the end of this?
942
00:46:44,011 --> 00:46:45,888
- I guess so. But it's good.
- Yeah.
943
00:46:46,013 --> 00:46:47,390
- And we did it.
- With no bullshit.
944
00:46:47,515 --> 00:46:48,557
- Shirt.
- Sweater.
945
00:46:49,475 --> 00:46:51,310
We managed to actually stay friends.
946
00:46:51,686 --> 00:46:52,812
- Yup.
- Yeah.
947
00:46:57,233 --> 00:46:59,026
Okay. So, what is your type, anyway?
948
00:46:59,193 --> 00:47:01,195
No, I don't have a type.
949
00:47:01,362 --> 00:47:03,572
- It's more about what's inside.
- Oh, please!
950
00:47:03,698 --> 00:47:05,408
Okay, what about her?
951
00:47:05,992 --> 00:47:08,035
Yeah. I could get to know her inside.
952
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:09,203
And she's reading a book.
953
00:47:10,037 --> 00:47:11,330
It's probably Nicholas Sparks.
954
00:47:11,872 --> 00:47:13,666
- I'm gonna go talk to her.
- What?
955
00:47:14,041 --> 00:47:15,918
What do you mean, "What?"
We said we wanted to date again.
956
00:47:16,043 --> 00:47:17,712
- I'm gonna go talk to her.
- Now?
957
00:47:17,837 --> 00:47:19,338
Here, in front of all of these people?
958
00:47:19,505 --> 00:47:22,717
I didn't say I was gonna rape her.
I said I was gonna go talk to her.
959
00:47:26,595 --> 00:47:29,390
Excuse me. I'm Dylan. Nice to meet you.
960
00:47:29,890 --> 00:47:31,017
The Notebook.
961
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:38,566
Nice meeting you.
962
00:47:42,278 --> 00:47:44,822
- Well?
- We talked. We laughed.
963
00:47:44,905 --> 00:47:46,032
Yeah.
964
00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:48,409
- She's Belgian.
- Explains the reading.
965
00:47:48,743 --> 00:47:50,161
I showed her where the balcony was,
966
00:47:50,244 --> 00:47:52,913
because that's where
she is meeting up with her husband.
967
00:47:54,915 --> 00:47:56,083
Anniversary trip to New York.
968
00:47:56,375 --> 00:47:59,378
Three kids. Christof, Karlina and Pepijn.
969
00:48:00,504 --> 00:48:01,547
Shut up.
970
00:48:02,590 --> 00:48:05,426
Why are you still laughing?
At least I gave it a shot.
971
00:48:05,676 --> 00:48:08,262
Fine. I'll go next.
972
00:48:08,596 --> 00:48:10,931
- See if I still have game.
- Okay.
973
00:48:11,098 --> 00:48:12,433
-()kay-
-()kay-
974
00:48:12,558 --> 00:48:14,018
- Yes.
- Right here. Eleven o'clock.
975
00:48:14,268 --> 00:48:16,854
- Iced coffee.
- Handsome, but doesn't know it.
976
00:48:17,396 --> 00:48:20,441
Staring at a tree, which means
he's actually in the park for nature
977
00:48:20,524 --> 00:48:22,109
and not to watch women sunbathe.
978
00:48:22,276 --> 00:48:23,861
- Or he's retarded.
- Don't care.
979
00:48:23,944 --> 00:48:25,071
I'm going in.
980
00:48:31,911 --> 00:48:33,370
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
981
00:48:33,871 --> 00:48:34,955
- Hi.
- Hello.
982
00:48:35,456 --> 00:48:36,749
I'm Jamie.
983
00:48:38,375 --> 00:48:39,627
Yeah. Yeah, that works.
984
00:48:41,378 --> 00:48:42,630
Hi.
985
00:48:45,091 --> 00:48:46,133
Okay.
986
00:48:46,300 --> 00:48:47,384
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, my God!
987
00:48:52,139 --> 00:48:56,894
Okay. His name is Parker.
He's a children's oncologist.
988
00:48:58,145 --> 00:48:59,814
And I have a date this Saturday.
989
00:49:01,148 --> 00:49:02,316
- Nice.
- Thank you.
990
00:49:03,150 --> 00:49:04,944
Why'd you wave to me?
991
00:49:05,486 --> 00:49:08,405
I told him you were my gay best friend,
992
00:49:08,489 --> 00:49:10,241
so he wants to set you up with his brother.
993
00:49:12,993 --> 00:49:16,789
College, med school,
and I haven't slept since.
994
00:49:17,206 --> 00:49:19,208
I can't believe you actually cure cancer.
995
00:49:19,667 --> 00:49:21,544
Well, me and God.
996
00:49:22,378 --> 00:49:23,838
- What?
- I'm kidding.
997
00:49:24,171 --> 00:49:26,674
Can you imagine
someone who would actually say that?
998
00:49:26,799 --> 00:49:28,843
Yeah, I could.
I've been out with a lot of them.
999
00:49:29,051 --> 00:49:30,678
- Cancer doctors?
- No, assholes.
1000
00:49:31,345 --> 00:49:32,388
Yeah.
1001
00:49:32,513 --> 00:49:33,681
Well, hopefully you're all done with that.
1002
00:49:34,849 --> 00:49:38,352
Although, I gotta warn you,
lot of cancer doctors, big assholes.
1003
00:49:38,477 --> 00:49:39,478
- Really?
- Yeah.
1004
00:49:39,562 --> 00:49:42,481
And brain surgeons, huge perverts.
1005
00:49:42,731 --> 00:49:45,401
While they're doing this, a little bit of that.
1006
00:49:47,027 --> 00:49:48,028
Hey.
1007
00:49:49,405 --> 00:49:50,698
Thank you.
1008
00:49:51,490 --> 00:49:52,575
When can I see you again?
1009
00:49:56,704 --> 00:49:57,705
Right now.
1010
00:49:59,206 --> 00:50:00,583
- I'm just kidding.
- Okay.
1011
00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:02,376
Can you imagine
someone who would actually say that?
1012
00:50:03,210 --> 00:50:04,712
I played the tuba in high school.
1013
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,047
World's stupidest instrument.
1014
00:50:07,381 --> 00:50:09,091
Especially when you move eight times.
1015
00:50:09,258 --> 00:50:12,887
- Why'd you move?
- My mom really likes to break up with guys,
1016
00:50:13,053 --> 00:50:14,430
and she was really good at it.
1017
00:50:14,597 --> 00:50:16,849
- Was your dad one of them?
- No, no, he was long before that.
1018
00:50:17,266 --> 00:50:18,559
I actually never knew my dad.
1019
00:50:18,893 --> 00:50:20,269
I'm sorry. That sucks.
1020
00:50:23,230 --> 00:50:25,566
All right, look,
I think I should probably tell you something.
1021
00:50:25,733 --> 00:50:27,193
Please don't tell me you're a dude.
1022
00:50:27,276 --> 00:50:29,528
Because that'll be like the third time
since I moved here,
1023
00:50:29,612 --> 00:50:31,238
and I don't think I can handle that.
1024
00:50:31,530 --> 00:50:32,573
I have a five-date rule.
1025
00:50:33,407 --> 00:50:36,076
- You know, like, five dates before we...
- Yeah.
1026
00:50:36,285 --> 00:50:38,954
I saw it in a movie. I thought I'd give it a try.
1027
00:50:40,247 --> 00:50:41,290
You're worth waiting for.
1028
00:50:42,416 --> 00:50:44,251
I'm sure that was the line
in the movie you saw.
1029
00:50:45,961 --> 00:50:47,087
That's awesome.
1030
00:50:47,254 --> 00:50:50,049
This four-year-old that I've been working on
for the last couple months,
1031
00:50:50,257 --> 00:50:51,300
he's gonna be fine.
1032
00:50:51,592 --> 00:50:52,760
- That's great.
- Yeah.
1033
00:50:53,594 --> 00:50:55,221
How is a guy like you single?
1034
00:50:55,304 --> 00:50:58,307
I've just been waiting for someone
to come up to me in the park
1035
00:50:58,599 --> 00:51:00,935
and compliment me for looking at the trees
and not the sunbathers.
1036
00:51:01,060 --> 00:51:02,436
I meant it. It was impressive.
1037
00:51:02,561 --> 00:51:04,563
Actually, if I'm gonna be
completely honest with you,
1038
00:51:04,647 --> 00:51:06,357
I was sleeping standing up.
1039
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:09,568
I worked 36 hours straight.
I don't even know how I got to the park.
1040
00:51:10,486 --> 00:51:11,820
How is a girl like you single?
1041
00:51:13,781 --> 00:51:14,907
Ihaveissues.
1042
00:51:15,115 --> 00:51:16,659
One might even call me damaged.
1043
00:51:16,992 --> 00:51:18,494
Actually, one did call me damaged.
1044
00:51:18,619 --> 00:51:19,745
Get out of here. Damaged how?
1045
00:51:20,454 --> 00:51:21,664
I kind of believe in true love.
1046
00:51:22,331 --> 00:51:24,917
That there might be
a Prince Charming out there for me.
1047
00:51:30,256 --> 00:51:35,219
Listen, I know this is probably a no
because all you do is work like a dull boy,
1048
00:51:35,302 --> 00:51:37,638
but would you like to come get a beer?
1049
00:51:37,763 --> 00:51:38,764
I'm good.
1050
00:51:38,847 --> 00:51:40,599
No, it's not a gay bar.
1051
00:51:40,683 --> 00:51:44,645
And there'll be just as many hot girls
as hot guys.
1052
00:51:46,438 --> 00:51:49,024
You know what? I will come out.
1053
00:51:49,191 --> 00:51:51,944
All right. Let's find you a lady.
1054
00:51:52,987 --> 00:51:54,113
You're still not gay, right?
1055
00:51:54,196 --> 00:51:55,489
- Nope.
- Okay.
1056
00:52:01,328 --> 00:52:02,997
- What?
- Do you know what today is?
1057
00:52:04,039 --> 00:52:06,333
- Date number five.
- I wasn't even counting.
1058
00:52:11,672 --> 00:52:14,633
- Wanna go in the bedroom?
- No. Here's fine.
1059
00:52:20,848 --> 00:52:23,183
I am so glad I met you tonight.
1060
00:52:23,809 --> 00:52:25,227
Me, too.
1061
00:52:29,064 --> 00:52:31,025
What are you thinking?
1062
00:52:31,859 --> 00:52:34,153
Just how great you are.
1063
00:52:45,748 --> 00:52:47,166
Annie, hey.
1064
00:52:47,249 --> 00:52:49,585
Who the fuck is Annie?
1065
00:52:49,710 --> 00:52:50,919
My sister.
1066
00:52:51,045 --> 00:52:53,047
Better be. I'll cut her.
1067
00:52:55,549 --> 00:52:56,717
Of course I'm coming.
1068
00:52:57,051 --> 00:53:01,221
Yeah, I'm taking the 4th off,
so I'll be there for three days.
1069
00:53:11,899 --> 00:53:13,525
Yeah. How's Dad?
1070
00:53:14,026 --> 00:53:15,402
Any worse?
1071
00:53:16,195 --> 00:53:17,863
All right, tell him I said hi.
1072
00:53:18,739 --> 00:53:20,240
Bye, Banannie.
1073
00:53:23,911 --> 00:53:26,246
I want you to meet my parents.
1074
00:53:26,872 --> 00:53:28,791
No, you... Really?
1075
00:53:36,298 --> 00:53:37,591
God!
1076
00:53:55,901 --> 00:53:57,986
Hey. Hold on, hold on.
1077
00:53:58,612 --> 00:54:01,240
No, just hold on. Just give me a second.
1078
00:54:01,323 --> 00:54:04,118
I gotta go find a place to talk. Okay.
1079
00:54:06,412 --> 00:54:08,455
Shit. Shit. Just hold on.
1080
00:54:08,580 --> 00:54:09,748
- Oh, sorry.
- Hold on.
1081
00:54:09,832 --> 00:54:11,417
I was out pretty late last night.
1082
00:54:11,750 --> 00:54:14,670
When I got in, you and your girlfriend
were on the couch
1083
00:54:14,795 --> 00:54:16,338
so I just crashed in your bed.
1084
00:54:16,463 --> 00:54:18,132
- He's not a girl.
- He smells like a girl.
1085
00:54:18,298 --> 00:54:20,509
- You smelled him?
- I wanna buy marshmallows.
1086
00:54:20,634 --> 00:54:23,220
- What did you say?
- For Montauk this weekend.
1087
00:54:23,303 --> 00:54:26,098
I wanna do a campfire,
like when you were little.
1088
00:54:26,181 --> 00:54:27,266
Okay.
1089
00:54:27,349 --> 00:54:30,310
- And then we're gonna look for sticks.
- I hear you. Sticks.
1090
00:54:30,436 --> 00:54:33,313
And then we're gonna sing. We're gonna...
1091
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:35,441
Just hold on a second.
1092
00:54:36,442 --> 00:54:37,609
Okay.
1093
00:54:39,695 --> 00:54:40,863
Okay.
1094
00:54:45,868 --> 00:54:47,077
What's up?
1095
00:54:47,161 --> 00:54:49,121
Do you think guys care more
about global warming
1096
00:54:49,204 --> 00:54:51,623
or how to wear white pants to a cookout?
1097
00:54:51,707 --> 00:54:52,833
Well, that depends.
1098
00:54:52,958 --> 00:54:55,627
Do you have a hot model in a bikini
standing on an icecap?
1099
00:54:55,711 --> 00:54:57,421
No. Ski slope.
1100
00:54:57,504 --> 00:54:59,465
I'd still go with pants to a cookout.
1101
00:54:59,631 --> 00:55:01,175
Yeah, me, too.
1102
00:55:01,717 --> 00:55:04,511
How's your boy Parker? Still staring at trees?
1103
00:55:04,636 --> 00:55:06,889
Two coffees.
Yeah, he's still looking up at trees,
1104
00:55:07,014 --> 00:55:09,224
but this time it's actually in my apartment.
1105
00:55:09,349 --> 00:55:11,727
- It's the fifth date already?
- Maybe. Thank you.
1106
00:55:11,852 --> 00:55:14,563
Did you guys "fifth-date"?
1107
00:55:14,688 --> 00:55:18,358
- How dare you! A lady never tells.
- I know. That's why I'm asking you.
1108
00:55:21,904 --> 00:55:24,740
Hey. I gotta go. You have a great trip in LA
and call me when you land.
1109
00:55:25,073 --> 00:55:26,200
Okay.
1110
00:55:26,325 --> 00:55:27,743
Parker.
1111
00:55:28,410 --> 00:55:29,703
Hey.
1112
00:55:30,996 --> 00:55:33,832
I got us coffees.
Nonfat, one sugar, one Splenda.
1113
00:55:34,416 --> 00:55:36,043
- I gotta get going.
- What?
1114
00:55:36,168 --> 00:55:37,419
I thought you weren't on call today.
1115
00:55:37,544 --> 00:55:40,839
I'm not, but I got that thing... I got stuff.
1116
00:55:40,923 --> 00:55:42,549
This... They just called me.
1117
00:55:44,551 --> 00:55:46,512
- Really?
- Yeah.
1118
00:55:46,678 --> 00:55:49,890
The sneak-out. How incredibly cliché of you.
1119
00:55:50,015 --> 00:55:51,391
I just...
1120
00:55:52,267 --> 00:55:54,269
I don't think I can be your Prince Charming.
1121
00:55:54,394 --> 00:55:57,231
God, you totally didn't get
anything that I was saying, did you?
1122
00:55:57,356 --> 00:56:00,692
- No, no, no. I think you're great.
- Yeah, you, too.
1123
00:56:01,026 --> 00:56:02,694
Hey, you know what?
You and I should stay friends.
1124
00:56:02,778 --> 00:56:04,780
- Really?
- No, go fuck yourself.
1125
00:56:15,749 --> 00:56:17,084
Who sleeps standing up?
1126
00:56:17,584 --> 00:56:18,752
You know, you'd be really proud of me.
1127
00:56:18,877 --> 00:56:20,837
I didn't even blink
when I told him to go fuck himself.
1128
00:56:20,921 --> 00:56:24,591
- You did just then, though.
- This does not count. I'm not in the moment.
1129
00:56:25,217 --> 00:56:26,885
I don't know, maybe I suck in bed.
1130
00:56:26,969 --> 00:56:28,303
Trust me, you don't suck in bed.
1131
00:56:29,096 --> 00:56:30,931
- Thank you.
- So needy.
1132
00:56:31,056 --> 00:56:32,683
Hey, maybe the guy's married or something.
1133
00:56:32,766 --> 00:56:34,601
No, did a background check at work.
1134
00:56:34,726 --> 00:56:37,813
Single, no criminal history, credit report 720.
1135
00:56:37,938 --> 00:56:39,523
Background check. Did you do one on me?
1136
00:56:39,606 --> 00:56:41,817
How could you possibly
max out an Old Navy card?
1137
00:56:41,942 --> 00:56:44,111
After college I was really into cargo pants.
1138
00:56:45,821 --> 00:56:47,656
Dylan, I gotta stop thinking it's not me.
1139
00:56:47,781 --> 00:56:50,033
- I mean, it's gotta be me.
- It's not you.
1140
00:56:50,117 --> 00:56:51,368
Nothing is wrong with you.
1141
00:56:51,451 --> 00:56:53,453
He's a guy.
You gave him a five-date challenge,
1142
00:56:53,579 --> 00:56:55,956
he got you and cutout. Forget the douche.
1143
00:56:56,081 --> 00:56:58,500
He's a dick. He's a dick-douche.
1144
00:56:59,668 --> 00:57:01,169
Go have fun with your mom.
1145
00:57:01,670 --> 00:57:04,840
- Okay.
- Almost forgot. I got you something.
1146
00:57:12,472 --> 00:57:15,142
It's Lieutenant Kali,
the street artist we talked about.
1147
00:57:15,309 --> 00:57:17,811
I got him to do something for you.
"F-tale." Fairytale.
1148
00:57:18,478 --> 00:57:21,648
- I know you're into that girly shit, so...
- This is so cool.
1149
00:57:22,774 --> 00:57:24,735
Dylan, that's actually really sweet.
1150
00:57:24,818 --> 00:57:26,820
- It's cool, right?
- Yeah. Thank you.
1151
00:57:28,655 --> 00:57:30,324
Hey, I'm gonna need to borrow cab fare.
1152
00:57:31,491 --> 00:57:33,660
I'm not taking that thing on the subway.
I don't wanna get rolled.
1153
00:57:33,785 --> 00:57:34,870
No problem.
1154
00:57:34,995 --> 00:57:36,997
As long as you get your feet off my bed.
They're disgusting.
1155
00:57:39,291 --> 00:57:40,375
What are you doing?
1156
00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:41,793
Why are you doing that?
Why are you doing that?
1157
00:57:42,336 --> 00:57:44,212
You're an animal. Stop doing that.
An animal. Stop.
1158
00:57:48,342 --> 00:57:49,801
Hey, Ma.
1159
00:57:51,136 --> 00:57:53,555
Ma. Come on, we gotta get on the road.
1160
00:57:54,014 --> 00:57:55,349
Come on.
1161
00:57:55,474 --> 00:57:56,892
Ma?
1162
00:58:15,535 --> 00:58:17,412
Why did I think that
this time would be any different?
1163
00:58:17,537 --> 00:58:19,164
- Come with me to LA.
- What?
1164
00:58:19,247 --> 00:58:21,958
What else are you gonna do?
It's 4th of July, everybody's left the city.
1165
00:58:22,042 --> 00:58:23,794
You're very sweet for asking, but it's fine.
1166
00:58:23,877 --> 00:58:25,545
You know what, I'll just stay here.
I'll be fine alone.
1167
00:58:25,671 --> 00:58:27,881
I know you'll be fine alone.
You're not a baby in a hot car.
1168
00:58:28,882 --> 00:58:30,717
I'm actually asking you to come
because it would help me.
1169
00:58:31,051 --> 00:58:32,761
You'd be a great distraction for my family.
1170
00:58:32,886 --> 00:58:35,055
They'd forget all about
drilling me for being single.
1171
00:58:35,222 --> 00:58:36,390
Won't they think that we're together?
1172
00:58:36,515 --> 00:58:38,558
- Not if I tell them we're not.
- And they'll believe you?
1173
00:58:38,684 --> 00:58:41,061
Yeah, we're one of these crazy families
that doesn't lie to each other.
1174
00:58:41,186 --> 00:58:42,521
PBS is doing a documentary on us.
1175
00:58:42,729 --> 00:58:43,772
Come on, they'll love you.
1176
00:58:43,897 --> 00:58:46,358
All fast-talking and brusque,
like I'm bringing home a carny.
1177
00:58:46,441 --> 00:58:49,528
You're really nice to ask,
but I'm just gonna stay here.
1178
00:58:49,611 --> 00:58:50,862
Go to the gym.
1179
00:58:51,113 --> 00:58:54,032
I just got you a ticket with my miles,
it's done. Meet me at JFK.
1180
00:58:54,116 --> 00:58:55,534
- But“
- No buts.
1181
00:58:55,617 --> 00:58:58,453
- Like you were gonna go to the gym.
- I wasn't.
1182
00:59:11,925 --> 00:59:13,552
LA's so nice.
1183
00:59:14,136 --> 00:59:15,971
And everyone's so genuine and level-headed.
1184
00:59:17,597 --> 00:59:20,600
Thanks for this. You're good peeps.
1185
00:59:20,767 --> 00:59:22,394
You're the good peeps, dude.
1186
00:59:22,477 --> 00:59:25,105
You haven't met my family.
You don't know what you're in for.
1187
00:59:26,898 --> 00:59:28,066
Okay.
1188
00:59:28,316 --> 00:59:30,152
You know these planes
pretty much land themselves?
1189
00:59:30,277 --> 00:59:33,155
Nobody cares. You sound like an asshole.
1190
00:59:34,614 --> 00:59:35,991
She's from New York.
1191
00:59:36,116 --> 00:59:37,451
I'm sorry.
1192
00:59:48,128 --> 00:59:50,422
Wow. This looks normal.
1193
00:59:50,505 --> 00:59:51,757
It is.
1194
00:59:52,632 --> 00:59:53,759
Thank you.
1195
00:59:57,971 --> 00:59:59,848
Wow, you grew up here?
1196
01:00:00,474 --> 01:00:02,476
It was my grandfather's.
1197
01:00:02,642 --> 01:00:04,269
He bought it
when there was nothing else here.
1198
01:00:04,436 --> 01:00:06,646
My dad and my sister
and her son live here now.
1199
01:00:08,106 --> 01:00:09,983
Why would you move to New York?
1200
01:00:10,150 --> 01:00:11,651
I was conned by some headhunter.
1201
01:00:12,819 --> 01:00:14,321
- You're here.
- Sammy!
1202
01:00:14,488 --> 01:00:15,489
Hey, Uncle Dylan.
1203
01:00:15,655 --> 01:00:16,865
What's up, buddy?
1204
01:00:17,824 --> 01:00:18,909
How are you?
1205
01:00:18,992 --> 01:00:21,703
Jamie, this is my nephew,
Sam the Magnificent.
1206
01:00:21,953 --> 01:00:24,581
- Hello.
- May I offer you a light for your cigarette?
1207
01:00:24,664 --> 01:00:26,333
I'm sorry, I don't smoke.
1208
01:00:26,458 --> 01:00:28,251
Just pretend. He's a magician.
1209
01:00:28,335 --> 01:00:31,213
Of course I'll have a cigarette.
Smoking is great for you.
1210
01:00:34,508 --> 01:00:38,887
- Wow. Thank you, good sir.
- My pleasure, my lady.
1211
01:00:39,805 --> 01:00:41,139
Oh, my God. I got it, I got it.
1212
01:00:41,223 --> 01:00:43,391
Sammy. I got it, I got it.
Just stay still. I got it, I got it.
1213
01:00:43,517 --> 01:00:45,143
Sammy! Are you okay?
1214
01:00:45,227 --> 01:00:46,478
All part of the illusion.
1215
01:00:46,561 --> 01:00:48,188
- Jet Skis later?
- Definitely.
1216
01:00:49,231 --> 01:00:50,440
Still into magic, huh?
1217
01:00:50,524 --> 01:00:53,693
Yep. But I'll take that over him
sexting his friends any day.
1218
01:00:54,528 --> 01:00:56,738
- Dilbert!
- Banannie.
1219
01:00:58,073 --> 01:01:00,575
Jamie, this is my sister, Annie.
1220
01:01:00,700 --> 01:01:02,118
- Hi.
- Thank you for having me.
1221
01:01:02,202 --> 01:01:04,162
Oh, please.
It's nice to have Dylan bring a girl home.
1222
01:01:04,246 --> 01:01:05,831
- We're just friends.
- Oh, no, I know.
1223
01:01:05,914 --> 01:01:08,083
If you were his girlfriend,
he never would've brought you here.
1224
01:01:08,208 --> 01:01:10,877
- This one has intimacy issues.
- I know.
1225
01:01:11,044 --> 01:01:12,087
- Dylan.
- Dad.
1226
01:01:12,212 --> 01:01:13,839
- Dylan. Oh, man.
- Hey.
1227
01:01:13,922 --> 01:01:16,299
- How you doing, buddy?
- I'm good.
1228
01:01:16,383 --> 01:01:18,343
I miss you guys, but I'm good.
1229
01:01:19,594 --> 01:01:20,762
Dede Spencer?
1230
01:01:21,221 --> 01:01:23,098
Jamie. Dylan's friend.
1231
01:01:25,267 --> 01:01:27,018
- I'm sorry. I...
- That's okay.
1232
01:01:27,102 --> 01:01:29,062
No, for a minute you reminded me
of a girl I used to know.
1233
01:01:29,229 --> 01:01:31,565
- No, that's okay. It happens.
- Nice to meet you.
1234
01:01:31,690 --> 01:01:33,775
Pleasure meeting you.
You have a beautiful house.
1235
01:01:33,900 --> 01:01:34,901
Thank you.
1236
01:01:35,193 --> 01:01:38,363
Pool's a little cold,
but it's very expensive to heat, so...
1237
01:01:39,406 --> 01:01:41,408
I think I'm gonna go in
and check the tide tables
1238
01:01:41,533 --> 01:01:43,118
'cause I'm gonna take the boat out
early in the morning.
1239
01:01:43,243 --> 01:01:44,744
- You should come.
- I would love to.
1240
01:01:44,870 --> 01:01:46,454
We sold the boat.
1241
01:01:46,580 --> 01:01:48,582
The doctor doesn't want you
driving the boat any more.
1242
01:01:50,876 --> 01:01:52,752
- Turning to mush.
- No.
1243
01:01:54,379 --> 01:01:56,590
It's good to see you, buddy.
1244
01:01:56,756 --> 01:01:58,383
- Nice to meet you.
- It was nice meeting you, too.
1245
01:01:58,466 --> 01:02:00,218
- Jamie. See?
- Yes.
1246
01:02:05,223 --> 01:02:08,059
- What's with the pants?
- He doesn't like them any more.
1247
01:02:08,268 --> 01:02:10,103
He's getting worse.
1248
01:02:10,478 --> 01:02:12,230
It's so good to have you here.
1249
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:14,482
Go show her the beach.
1250
01:02:15,942 --> 01:02:17,986
- Let me show you the beach. Come on.
- Okay.
1251
01:02:18,111 --> 01:02:20,947
- Go, get sandy. Get all messed up.
- Okay.
1252
01:02:36,504 --> 01:02:38,548
Dylan never told me about your dad.
1253
01:02:38,632 --> 01:02:41,343
Yeah, it's been tough on him.
They were real close.
1254
01:02:42,010 --> 01:02:43,887
Dylan doesn't quite know
how to deal with the Alzheimer's.
1255
01:02:43,970 --> 01:02:45,180
I'm sorry.
1256
01:02:45,305 --> 01:02:47,891
He'll be his regular old self
and everything seems fine,
1257
01:02:47,974 --> 01:02:50,644
and then just in a flash, he's gone.
1258
01:02:52,604 --> 01:02:55,106
- That's Dylan when he was nine.
- Are those braids?
1259
01:02:55,357 --> 01:02:57,984
He was going through a Kris Kross phase.
Remember them?
1260
01:03:03,448 --> 01:03:06,201
- Is that your mom?
- No, that's Dylan's speech therapist.
1261
01:03:07,327 --> 01:03:10,288
He had a stutter.
It got real bad when he was nervous.
1262
01:03:10,538 --> 01:03:11,998
He had a rough childhood.
1263
01:03:12,165 --> 01:03:15,168
- His math tutor called it "character-building."
- Math tutor?
1264
01:03:15,293 --> 01:03:19,130
No, we're talking, like, 8 times 6 equals 1,200.
1265
01:03:19,214 --> 01:03:21,299
But he's very visual, thank God.
1266
01:03:21,549 --> 01:03:26,054
- Can you please explain to me this photo?
- That is my 12th-birthday surprise party.
1267
01:03:26,179 --> 01:03:28,223
- Hey.
- Amazing moment.
1268
01:03:28,348 --> 01:03:30,058
I'm exhausted. I'm gonna go to bed.
1269
01:03:30,183 --> 01:03:33,228
- Jamie, you all good with your room?
- Yeah. No, it's perfect.
1270
01:03:33,645 --> 01:03:35,397
Thank you. Thank you for everything.
1271
01:03:40,193 --> 01:03:43,405
Sammy and I built a saw-a-girl-in-half box,
so just be careful on your way to bed.
1272
01:03:43,530 --> 01:03:46,658
- He's not using a real saw, is he?
- Of course he is. He's magnificent.
1273
01:03:47,158 --> 01:03:50,537
I'll make sure he brushes his teeth,
and you, don't believe anything she says.
1274
01:03:50,662 --> 01:03:52,163
She's a liar.
1275
01:03:53,206 --> 01:03:55,667
- He's a pretty special guy.
- Yeah, I think so.
1276
01:03:58,420 --> 01:04:00,380
- Jamie. Hey.
- Hey.
1277
01:04:00,714 --> 01:04:01,881
- You up?
- Yeah. Come in.
1278
01:04:04,843 --> 01:04:06,636
- I thought you were going to bed.
- I was.
1279
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:09,389
But then I realized
we were both single again, so...
1280
01:04:13,101 --> 01:04:14,728
- Dude, no.
- Why not?
1281
01:04:14,853 --> 01:04:16,730
I washed my hands. With soap this time.
1282
01:04:16,896 --> 01:04:18,773
Are you serious?
Why would you just assume?
1283
01:04:18,940 --> 01:04:22,610
You cracked your neck on the porch.
This thing. That's your tell, remember?
1284
01:04:22,777 --> 01:04:26,072
I cracked my neck
because we were on a flight for six hours,
1285
01:04:26,740 --> 01:04:29,617
and you were yapping my ear off
about how planes all fly themselves,
1286
01:04:29,743 --> 01:04:31,244
and it actually kinked my neck a bit.
1287
01:04:31,369 --> 01:04:34,080
- So, no?
- No. Not having sex with you.
1288
01:04:34,205 --> 01:04:36,458
Is it your special time?
They have an app for that. No, wait.
1289
01:04:39,419 --> 01:04:41,379
- Nope, you're good to go.
- We talked about this.
1290
01:04:41,463 --> 01:04:44,132
- Plus, I just got dumped, so...
- Okay, I'm sorry.
1291
01:04:44,257 --> 01:04:46,551
I thought this would be a good way
to take your mind off him.
1292
01:04:46,634 --> 01:04:48,762
No, I don't function that way.
Sex is not gonna help.
1293
01:04:49,220 --> 01:04:51,347
But you know what will? Emotional support.
1294
01:04:51,431 --> 01:04:54,309
Before we were sex without emotion,
and now we're emotion without sex.
1295
01:04:54,434 --> 01:04:55,852
Exactly.
1296
01:04:55,935 --> 01:04:57,771
I just need you to be my friend right now.
1297
01:04:57,896 --> 01:04:59,939
Okay. So I'll listen to you
while you give me a hand job.
1298
01:05:00,231 --> 01:05:02,567
- No.
- I'm kidding. I got it. Good night.
1299
01:05:02,817 --> 01:05:06,821
Wait, hold on! Friends can still hang out
and, I don't know, listen to music.
1300
01:05:07,072 --> 01:05:08,114
Listen to music?
1301
01:05:10,158 --> 01:05:11,284
I'm gonna kill Annie.
1302
01:05:12,118 --> 01:05:15,121
- I can't believe you used to like them.
- I didn't like these guys.
1303
01:05:15,246 --> 01:05:16,289
I don't even remember...
1304
01:05:28,968 --> 01:05:31,304
And then there's something,
I don't know what he says right there...
1305
01:05:33,807 --> 01:05:36,351
Are you kidding me?
These dudes were da bomb.
1306
01:05:36,476 --> 01:05:38,353
Everybody had Girbauds,
we all wore them backwards.
1307
01:05:38,478 --> 01:05:39,479
The baseball jerseys.
1308
01:05:41,314 --> 01:05:43,316
I went as Kris Kross
three years in a row for Halloween.
1309
01:05:43,441 --> 01:05:45,610
- Oh, you poor kid.
- I'm not proud of it.
1310
01:05:45,860 --> 01:05:49,489
Hey, I borrowed one of your books.
I hope that's okay.
1311
01:05:53,034 --> 01:05:54,327
Like this.
1312
01:05:56,788 --> 01:05:57,831
No.
1313
01:06:06,548 --> 01:06:07,674
Surprise!
1314
01:06:11,386 --> 01:06:14,681
Have you really never brought
a girl home before?
1315
01:06:14,889 --> 01:06:16,683
I brought you here.
1316
01:06:16,808 --> 01:06:19,978
I mean like a real girl. Not a friend.
1317
01:06:20,854 --> 01:06:22,856
- A real girl?
- Yeah.
1318
01:06:24,149 --> 01:06:25,567
I guess not.
1319
01:06:25,692 --> 01:06:28,361
- Separation of church and state.
- Ah, yes.
1320
01:06:28,528 --> 01:06:32,031
Build up as many walls as possible.
That's really healthy.
1321
01:06:32,157 --> 01:06:34,242
- What, are you talking to me about walls?
- Yeah.
1322
01:06:34,367 --> 01:06:36,578
What about you and your mom?
1323
01:06:36,744 --> 01:06:39,706
You couldn't get me out of there fast enough
when she walked in on us.
1324
01:06:39,873 --> 01:06:42,000
That was for your own protection. Okay?
1325
01:06:42,083 --> 01:06:45,920
I'm just surprised she didn't try
to slip you her number or something.
1326
01:06:46,045 --> 01:06:48,214
She did. She put it in my phone.
1327
01:06:48,339 --> 01:06:50,425
- Under "MILF."
- Oh, my God.
1328
01:06:50,550 --> 01:06:53,219
It's cool, we only hooked up, like, twice.
1329
01:06:54,846 --> 01:06:57,140
I'm starting to get a mental image.
1330
01:06:57,223 --> 01:06:58,474
Well, I have a video image.
1331
01:06:58,558 --> 01:07:01,728
No. Just stop it. Just stop it.
1332
01:07:04,355 --> 01:07:06,399
Just wrong.
1333
01:07:09,736 --> 01:07:10,904
What?
1334
01:07:12,447 --> 01:07:14,741
Nothing. Just glad I met you.
1335
01:07:17,202 --> 01:07:20,246
Yeah, well, knowing you doesn't suck either.
1336
01:07:38,097 --> 01:07:41,267
- But I thought you said...
- I know what I said.
1337
01:09:18,448 --> 01:09:19,532
God.
1338
01:09:44,432 --> 01:09:46,601
Lasorda was a good pitcher,
but he was an even better manager.
1339
01:09:46,726 --> 01:09:49,187
- Wrecking Crew?
- I wasn't saying he's not a great manager.
1340
01:09:49,270 --> 01:09:51,022
He's underappreciated as a pitcher,
that's all I'm saying.
1341
01:09:51,105 --> 01:09:52,440
We get it. Guys.
1342
01:09:52,565 --> 01:09:53,649
- Hi.
- Morning.
1343
01:09:53,733 --> 01:09:57,236
- Good morning.
- Is it always this beautiful out here?
1344
01:09:57,737 --> 01:10:00,615
Well, in between the fires and the floods,
we get about 10 good days.
1345
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:03,493
No, no. Here. You two sit together.
1346
01:10:03,576 --> 01:10:04,952
- Are you sure?
- Oh, yeah, no, no.
1347
01:10:05,078 --> 01:10:07,747
- You don't have to do that, Dad.
- I know. I wanna look at the boat.
1348
01:10:07,830 --> 01:10:09,582
I love that boat.
1349
01:10:09,916 --> 01:10:11,751
- Here. Sorry.
- Great. Thanks.
1350
01:10:12,126 --> 01:10:13,294
Here.
1351
01:10:14,128 --> 01:10:16,798
Thank you. This... Okay.
1352
01:10:18,424 --> 01:10:20,510
- Coffee, my lady?
- Yes, please.
1353
01:10:21,511 --> 01:10:22,929
Thank you.
1354
01:10:24,639 --> 01:10:27,183
- All right, man!
- Look at you!
1355
01:10:27,433 --> 01:10:30,561
- That's pretty impressive.
- Yay, Sammy!
1356
01:10:30,645 --> 01:10:32,313
All right!
1357
01:10:32,647 --> 01:10:36,442
Oh, buddy. Your shirt's leaking.
Oh, no, that's...
1358
01:10:36,526 --> 01:10:37,652
Apologies.
1359
01:10:42,365 --> 01:10:43,533
Here.
1360
01:10:48,121 --> 01:10:49,789
- You okay?
- Yeah.
1361
01:10:50,706 --> 01:10:52,125
- You?
- Yeah.
1362
01:11:04,554 --> 01:11:06,806
- See them, Sammy?
- Yeah.
1363
01:11:08,641 --> 01:11:10,643
- Pretty cool, huh?
- Yeah.
1364
01:11:11,561 --> 01:11:13,396
God, it's nice.
1365
01:11:13,479 --> 01:11:17,733
I do miss the mornings out here.
Right before it burns off, it really is beautiful.
1366
01:11:17,984 --> 01:11:19,193
I like Jamie.
1367
01:11:21,821 --> 01:11:23,656
And she's pretty, too.
1368
01:11:23,823 --> 01:11:26,492
Hey, easy, dude.
Don't you go casting a spell on her.
1369
01:11:26,826 --> 01:11:30,496
I'm a magician, not a wizard.
You and your gay Harry Potter.
1370
01:11:30,997 --> 01:11:33,541
You can't deny that going to Hogwarts
wouldn't be life-changing.
1371
01:11:34,667 --> 01:11:37,170
- I miss you.
- I miss you, too, bud.
1372
01:11:38,171 --> 01:11:41,007
Mom misses you. And so does Grandpa.
1373
01:11:43,009 --> 01:11:44,177
Does he say anything?
1374
01:11:44,510 --> 01:11:47,346
No. But sometimes he calls me Dylan.
1375
01:11:50,224 --> 01:11:51,851
He said that he didn't want the job.
1376
01:11:51,934 --> 01:11:54,687
That he was just coming to New York
to explore his options.
1377
01:11:54,937 --> 01:11:56,105
What a crock of gas.
1378
01:11:57,106 --> 01:11:59,192
You fly across the country
to explore your options?
1379
01:11:59,275 --> 01:12:00,693
Please. I don't think so.
1380
01:12:00,776 --> 01:12:04,405
Exactly! Please, I knew I had him
the second he got off that plane.
1381
01:12:04,572 --> 01:12:05,781
- Oh, did you, now?
- Yeah.
1382
01:12:05,865 --> 01:12:08,451
Was that the same second you leapt
onto the baggage carousel barefoot
1383
01:12:08,534 --> 01:12:09,869
and acted out a scene from Will and Grace?
1384
01:12:10,536 --> 01:12:12,413
- She did?
- Oh, yeah, you should have seen her.
1385
01:12:12,538 --> 01:12:13,873
"Look at me, I'm goofy but cute."
1386
01:12:13,956 --> 01:12:15,500
You know what? It was all part of my plan.
1387
01:12:15,583 --> 01:12:16,751
Quite a plan.
1388
01:12:16,876 --> 01:12:18,336
Did you major in Planning
at Headhunting College?
1389
01:12:18,419 --> 01:12:20,755
- So clever.
- It's not a real college, by the way, buddy.
1390
01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:23,925
You guys bicker like
you're an old married couple.
1391
01:12:24,217 --> 01:12:25,510
Here, pick a card, my lady.
1392
01:12:25,593 --> 01:12:26,761
Okay.
1393
01:12:26,886 --> 01:12:28,846
Oh, no, not that one. The one on top.
1394
01:12:28,930 --> 01:12:31,098
- This is a good one.
- So...
1395
01:12:31,224 --> 01:12:32,391
- Yeah?
- Shuffle.
1396
01:12:32,558 --> 01:12:34,477
Did you get her an engagement gift?
1397
01:12:34,894 --> 01:12:37,480
We're not engaged, Dad. We're not together.
We're just friends.
1398
01:12:37,563 --> 01:12:41,734
All right, you don't wanna label it.
I understand. But get her some jewelry.
1399
01:12:42,735 --> 01:12:44,111
The only thing your mom loves is jewelry.
1400
01:12:44,237 --> 01:12:47,740
I don't care how upset she is,
I get her jewelry, she lights right up
1401
01:12:48,115 --> 01:12:49,283
Where is she, anyway?
1402
01:12:50,618 --> 01:12:53,788
- She's not here, Dad.
- I know, that's why I asked. Where is she?
1403
01:12:56,123 --> 01:12:58,292
- She's not coming.
- Why not?
1404
01:12:58,834 --> 01:13:01,587
She doesn't live with you any more, Pop.
You're not married.
1405
01:13:02,338 --> 01:13:04,966
- What?
- She left about 10 years ago.
1406
01:13:05,091 --> 01:13:06,175
I don't understand.
1407
01:13:06,592 --> 01:13:08,469
She divorced you, Dad.
1408
01:13:11,597 --> 01:13:12,932
- I have to call her.
- Dad, you can't.
1409
01:13:13,015 --> 01:13:14,433
Stop telling me what to do.
1410
01:13:15,810 --> 01:13:17,270
Get your...
1411
01:13:20,940 --> 01:13:22,191
Grandpa!
1412
01:13:22,441 --> 01:13:23,734
Dylan, get...
1413
01:13:23,818 --> 01:13:25,194
- You okay, Dad?
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
1414
01:13:25,278 --> 01:13:27,697
- Here, let me help you up.
- No, don't. Don't!
1415
01:14:00,021 --> 01:14:01,480
Here we are.
1416
01:14:02,565 --> 01:14:04,859
This is beautiful.
1417
01:14:04,984 --> 01:14:07,737
Yeah, this is where I used to come to think.
My rooftop.
1418
01:14:07,820 --> 01:14:09,322
Okay, how high do you think that fence is?
1419
01:14:09,488 --> 01:14:10,990
I'm a little over 6 foot.
1420
01:14:11,157 --> 01:14:14,410
Looks like it's about three of me.
So six times three...
1421
01:14:15,494 --> 01:14:17,163
Ninety-two feet.
1422
01:14:17,663 --> 01:14:21,042
- Ninety-two feet. That's really tall, right?
- Yeah.
1423
01:14:22,001 --> 01:14:25,504
But they don't want you to get up there,
so I guess that makes sense.
1424
01:14:25,588 --> 01:14:29,342
- Wait. Six times three...
- Oh, God, you poor kid.
1425
01:14:30,217 --> 01:14:32,053
- What's up?
- Come on.
1426
01:14:32,511 --> 01:14:34,055
What? What? Where are you going?
1427
01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:37,391
Jamie, no, no, no, no, no, wait.
They take this shit seriously, okay?
1428
01:14:37,516 --> 01:14:38,517
Look at all the cameras.
1429
01:14:38,601 --> 01:14:41,979
This is the only landmark this city has
other than the Scientology Center.
1430
01:14:42,063 --> 01:14:45,149
And if any of these cameras are hooked up
to the actual Scientology Center,
1431
01:14:45,232 --> 01:14:47,109
that was an inappropriate joke
and I apologize.
1432
01:14:47,193 --> 01:14:49,779
I believe in the freedom of science fiction.
1433
01:14:51,280 --> 01:14:52,948
Pussy! Oh, sorry.
1434
01:14:53,032 --> 01:14:54,075
Pussy!
1435
01:14:54,450 --> 01:14:55,534
Come on!
1436
01:15:01,874 --> 01:15:04,669
- You really never been up here before?
- No.
1437
01:15:04,752 --> 01:15:07,213
I've also never transferred
heroin in my rectum,
1438
01:15:07,296 --> 01:15:09,090
'cause it's against the law.
1439
01:15:09,423 --> 01:15:13,219
You know, sometimes a simple
yes or no answer is adequate.
1440
01:15:13,386 --> 01:15:15,054
Hey, why didn't you tell me about your mom?
1441
01:15:15,554 --> 01:15:17,556
She's not worth talking about.
1442
01:15:18,224 --> 01:15:19,225
That's rough.
1443
01:15:19,558 --> 01:15:20,935
So is leaving your husband and kids.
1444
01:15:22,061 --> 01:15:24,105
Yeah, you never told me about him either.
1445
01:15:24,230 --> 01:15:26,148
You know, there's a lot of stuff
you didn't tell me.
1446
01:15:26,273 --> 01:15:27,817
I don't want your pity.
1447
01:15:29,318 --> 01:15:33,072
I can handle anything except
that look in people's eyes.
1448
01:15:35,491 --> 01:15:38,411
- That one.
- Who cares what anybody thinks?
1449
01:15:38,953 --> 01:15:42,289
He's the smartest man I've ever known.
He's the only person I'd ever go to for advice.
1450
01:15:42,415 --> 01:15:43,666
He's my dad.
1451
01:15:43,791 --> 01:15:45,209
Dylan, he's still the same man.
1452
01:15:45,292 --> 01:15:46,627
When I see the way people look at him now...
1453
01:15:46,752 --> 01:15:49,922
It doesn't matter how people look at him.
1454
01:15:50,005 --> 01:15:51,257
All that matters is how you look at him.
1455
01:15:51,340 --> 01:15:54,176
Yeah, but he's walking around
without his pants. Everyone's staring.
1456
01:15:54,301 --> 01:15:55,886
- So what?
- It's embarrassing.
1457
01:15:55,970 --> 01:15:57,638
He needs to know that nothing has changed.
1458
01:15:57,763 --> 01:15:59,640
That he's still that same man to you.
1459
01:15:59,765 --> 01:16:01,767
Can we stop talking about this?
1460
01:16:03,310 --> 01:16:06,564
Yeah, that's really smart.
Let's just not talk about our feelings.
1461
01:16:06,647 --> 01:16:07,773
I'm trying not to.
1462
01:16:09,775 --> 01:16:12,862
Come on. ls something going on here?
You've been acting really weird.
1463
01:16:13,195 --> 01:16:14,947
- No, I haven't.
- Yeah, you have.
1464
01:16:15,531 --> 01:16:16,824
Is this about what happened the other night?
1465
01:16:16,949 --> 01:16:19,034
What, sex? That doesn't mean anything.
You know that.
1466
01:16:22,288 --> 01:16:23,330
Right.
1467
01:16:23,456 --> 01:16:25,624
- And I haven't been acting weird.
- Okay.
1468
01:16:27,293 --> 01:16:29,670
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, shit!
1469
01:16:29,837 --> 01:16:31,756
- I told you!
- Well, I'm sorry!
1470
01:16:31,839 --> 01:16:32,882
Fuck!
1471
01:16:32,965 --> 01:16:36,051
This is the LAPD. You are trespassing.
Get down from the sign.
1472
01:16:36,135 --> 01:16:37,303
We gotta jump-
1473
01:16:39,221 --> 01:16:41,640
- Dylan, jump!
- I'm frozen.
1474
01:16:41,724 --> 01:16:42,808
Come on, get down!
1475
01:16:42,892 --> 01:16:44,018
Sir, this is your last warning.
1476
01:16:44,143 --> 01:16:46,312
- Use the ladder!
- I have a fear of heights!
1477
01:16:46,562 --> 01:16:51,317
And also helicopters!
They don't make sense to me!
1478
01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:53,736
What do you mean
you have a fear of heights?
1479
01:16:54,195 --> 01:16:55,613
Why would you come up here?
1480
01:16:55,696 --> 01:16:58,240
You called me a pussy!
1481
01:17:00,242 --> 01:17:02,912
A bizarre situation
this afternoon in the Southland.
1482
01:17:02,995 --> 01:17:06,540
The LAPD rescued a local man
from the Hollywood sign,
1483
01:17:06,999 --> 01:17:08,709
the city's only real landmark.
1484
01:17:08,834 --> 01:17:11,003
They actually wrapped you in a foil blanket!
1485
01:17:11,212 --> 01:17:12,755
Did you run a marathon before this?
1486
01:17:12,838 --> 01:17:14,381
- Okay. Give me...
- No!
1487
01:17:14,507 --> 01:17:16,759
- No, no. I wanna save it. I gotta save it
- No. That's enough!
1488
01:17:16,842 --> 01:17:19,094
- Give me the remote! Shut up!
- No, I wanna watch it over and over.
1489
01:17:19,178 --> 01:17:20,763
Foil wrapper...
1490
01:17:20,846 --> 01:17:22,056
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
1491
01:17:23,015 --> 01:17:24,767
It's okay, it'll be up on YouTube.
1492
01:17:26,060 --> 01:17:29,772
Hey, you're still good to take Dad that week
I have to go to DC for Sam's class trip, right?
1493
01:17:29,855 --> 01:17:33,025
- Yeah, he's gonna stay with me in New York.
- Oh, good.
1494
01:17:33,400 --> 01:17:36,111
So, when are we gonna see Jamie again?
1495
01:17:36,195 --> 01:17:37,655
I don't know.
1496
01:17:37,738 --> 01:17:40,115
What's your problem?
Did you have a fight with your girlfriend?
1497
01:17:40,199 --> 01:17:42,243
She's not my girlfriend.
Why don't you believe me?
1498
01:17:42,368 --> 01:17:44,703
I would believe you if you didn't lie to me.
1499
01:17:44,787 --> 01:17:46,831
I saw you creeping out of her room
the other night.
1500
01:17:46,914 --> 01:17:48,958
Like you had just had sex,
if you know what I mean.
1501
01:17:49,208 --> 01:17:50,960
Yes, I know what you mean, you just said it.
1502
01:17:51,043 --> 01:17:53,254
And how do you know
what I look like after I have...
1503
01:17:53,379 --> 01:17:56,590
I'm not talking to you about this, okay?
We're not together.
1504
01:17:57,049 --> 01:17:59,260
- Dylan.
- Enough! I'm not talking about it.
1505
01:17:59,468 --> 01:18:00,719
Dylan.
1506
01:18:02,555 --> 01:18:03,973
Forgot my saw. I'll be right back.
1507
01:18:06,559 --> 01:18:09,103
I'll wait here. Don't worry about me.
1508
01:18:09,228 --> 01:18:12,398
Friends who have sex?
What are you, in college?
1509
01:18:12,481 --> 01:18:14,441
- It doesn't matter, it's over.
- Why?
1510
01:18:14,567 --> 01:18:16,235
Because we don't like each other like that.
1511
01:18:16,318 --> 01:18:19,280
Okay, you know what?
Can we just talk about this? Sit down.
1512
01:18:19,572 --> 01:18:20,990
What more are you looking for?
1513
01:18:21,073 --> 01:18:23,075
- Who says I'm looking for anything?
- Dylan.
1514
01:18:23,242 --> 01:18:26,412
- I don't know, but it's not Jamie.
- Why, because you're great together?
1515
01:18:26,745 --> 01:18:28,330
Because you're actually
friends with each other?
1516
01:18:28,414 --> 01:18:30,875
Because this is the happiest
I have ever seen you?
1517
01:18:30,958 --> 01:18:33,836
I don't know what to tell you.
She's not for me. I don't like her like that.
1518
01:18:33,919 --> 01:18:37,423
- You liked her enough to have sex with her.
- It's just physical.
1519
01:18:37,506 --> 01:18:40,384
- Like playing tennis.
- I don't even know what that means, Dylan.
1520
01:18:40,467 --> 01:18:43,012
I haven't seen you this dumb
since you got that candy corn tattoo.
1521
01:18:43,137 --> 01:18:45,431
It's a lightning bolt! With extra powers!
1522
01:18:45,514 --> 01:18:47,600
Dylan, you can't name
one thing that's wrong with her.
1523
01:18:47,766 --> 01:18:50,895
I can never go out with her.
She's too fucked up.
1524
01:18:50,978 --> 01:18:52,897
Okay, she doesn't want a boyfriend.
1525
01:18:52,980 --> 01:18:54,148
She's too damaged.
1526
01:18:54,273 --> 01:18:56,317
Magnum P.l. couldn't solve
the shit going on in her head.
1527
01:18:56,442 --> 01:18:58,652
Wow. You'll say anything right now
1528
01:18:58,777 --> 01:19:00,321
not to admit that
you're perfect for each other.
1529
01:19:00,446 --> 01:19:02,323
- Why am I still having this conversation?
- Because I'm right.
1530
01:19:02,448 --> 01:19:04,116
- Good talk, Annie.
- Dylan.
1531
01:19:24,345 --> 01:19:26,388
I don't think the three-point line
would have done anything.
1532
01:19:26,472 --> 01:19:28,265
- He was taller than anyone alive.
- No, but it helped Kobe.
1533
01:19:28,349 --> 01:19:29,808
- Kobe Bryant is incredible.
- It helped him.
1534
01:19:29,892 --> 01:19:33,270
- You're men. You like sports. You're men.
- Scored 81 points. Please.
1535
01:19:33,354 --> 01:19:35,230
Hey! We were waiting for you.
1536
01:19:35,522 --> 01:19:36,941
I actually got a call from work.
1537
01:19:37,024 --> 01:19:38,734
I have to be on a red eye tonight
back to New York.
1538
01:19:39,068 --> 01:19:40,486
- Tonight?
- Yeah.
1539
01:19:40,861 --> 01:19:42,821
- Tomorrow's the 4th.
- I know, it sucks.
1540
01:19:43,072 --> 01:19:44,365
Well, at least let me drive you to the airport.
1541
01:19:44,490 --> 01:19:47,493
No, no. It's fine. Stay.
I already called a cab. It's out front.
1542
01:19:47,576 --> 01:19:49,620
But thank you guys for everything.
1543
01:19:49,703 --> 01:19:52,498
And thank you for letting me stay here.
It's been pretty great.
1544
01:19:55,751 --> 01:19:56,919
_l-ley-
_l-ley-
1545
01:19:57,002 --> 01:19:59,922
- Everything okay, buddy?
- Yeah, buddy. Everything's great.
1546
01:20:00,005 --> 01:20:01,340
I just really gotta go.
1547
01:20:01,674 --> 01:20:05,302
So, thank you again. I'm sorry I gotta go.
1548
01:20:05,386 --> 01:20:07,096
- Let Dylan drive you.
- Yeah.
1549
01:20:07,179 --> 01:20:10,015
- Do you wanna take some food to go?
- Do you want me to saw you in half?
1550
01:20:10,182 --> 01:20:13,435
You can send your bottom part to New York
and your top half can stay here.
1551
01:20:14,895 --> 01:20:17,898
Or the whole of you could stay.
1552
01:20:18,023 --> 01:20:19,733
Okay, I'm sorry. I gotta go.
1553
01:20:32,121 --> 01:20:33,539
Jamie!
1554
01:20:41,046 --> 01:20:43,590
She's gone. She hopped in the cab.
1555
01:20:50,889 --> 01:20:53,267
- We should eat. You hungry, buddy?
- Yeah.
1556
01:20:53,642 --> 01:20:56,061
Okay. Hand me your plate.
1557
01:21:26,341 --> 01:21:29,178
Hey, bro. You hungry?
'Cause I'm going to get something to eat.
1558
01:21:29,261 --> 01:21:32,264
Thanks, man.
I think I'm just gonna work through lunch.
1559
01:21:32,431 --> 01:21:37,519
A work ethic. I love it.
That is why this country is still number one.
1560
01:21:38,103 --> 01:21:41,857
Well, behind Germany and France
and Belgium and Japan and China and...
1561
01:21:42,274 --> 01:21:44,526
Thank God for Bangladesh.
1562
01:21:45,277 --> 01:21:48,781
By the way, why did you take
your door off its lovely hinges?
1563
01:21:48,864 --> 01:21:51,283
It was dumb, man.
Something I saw in a management book.
1564
01:21:51,450 --> 01:21:55,204
Oh, right, right.
Like, that's how Warren Buffett got rich.
1565
01:21:55,287 --> 01:21:57,039
He took doors off of things.
1566
01:21:57,122 --> 01:21:59,124
Hey, everybody wants a shortcut in life.
1567
01:21:59,208 --> 01:22:02,044
My guidebook is very simple.
You wanna lose weight?
1568
01:22:02,211 --> 01:22:03,378
Stop eating, fatty.
1569
01:22:03,504 --> 01:22:04,630
You wanna make money?
1570
01:22:04,713 --> 01:22:06,715
Work your ass off, lazy.
1571
01:22:06,799 --> 01:22:07,925
You wanna be happy?
1572
01:22:08,008 --> 01:22:10,219
Find someone you like and never let him go.
1573
01:22:10,469 --> 01:22:13,472
Or her, if you're into that kind of creepy shit.
1574
01:22:26,318 --> 01:22:28,821
Hi, you've reached Jamie Rellis.
I can't pick up the phone right now,
1575
01:22:28,904 --> 01:22:31,490
but please leave a message
and I'll call you back.
1576
01:22:38,664 --> 01:22:41,667
Mom, Mom, you gotta point it at the screen.
You gotta tell it where you are.
1577
01:22:42,334 --> 01:22:45,712
Fine. I'm over here pouring myself a drink.
1578
01:22:49,758 --> 01:22:53,178
Booty call.
I can take a walk around the block.
1579
01:22:53,262 --> 01:22:55,848
No, no. Nope, that's okay.
1580
01:22:55,931 --> 01:22:57,683
This is your apartment.
I don't wanna twat-block you
1581
01:23:00,686 --> 01:23:02,521
That's Dylan, right?
1582
01:23:02,688 --> 01:23:04,481
- He seemed pretty great.
- You met him once.
1583
01:23:04,565 --> 01:23:06,400
Well, that's more than
anybody else you've dated.
1584
01:23:06,692 --> 01:23:09,695
I don't know, you think maybe I keep
my worlds apart for some crazy reason?
1585
01:23:20,873 --> 01:23:23,375
I am an asshole.
1586
01:23:24,042 --> 01:23:27,129
We're looking for someone
to lead the redesign of our entire website.
1587
01:23:27,212 --> 01:23:28,964
Someone to turn it completely upside down.
1588
01:23:29,047 --> 01:23:30,799
But you can't tell me
what company you work for?
1589
01:23:30,883 --> 01:23:33,427
For confidentiality reasons, no.
1590
01:23:33,552 --> 01:23:34,761
Can you give me a hint?
1591
01:23:34,887 --> 01:23:38,891
We may or may not be the largest seller
of purchased goods on the Internet.
1592
01:23:38,974 --> 01:23:41,310
And by "purchased goods," I mean books.
1593
01:23:41,727 --> 01:23:44,313
You just placed the new art director
over at GQ, right?
1594
01:23:44,396 --> 01:23:45,439
Yeah.
1595
01:23:45,564 --> 01:23:48,442
That's the type of guy we want.
Shoot, that's the guy we want.
1596
01:23:48,567 --> 01:23:49,568
Can you get him to come out to us?
1597
01:23:50,402 --> 01:23:52,988
No longer have a relationship with him.
1598
01:23:53,113 --> 01:23:55,949
- Can you get to him?
- He's still in the first year of his contract,
1599
01:23:56,074 --> 01:23:58,493
so that would be inappropriate.
1600
01:23:58,577 --> 01:24:00,662
So is paying full price
for a book at Barnes & Noble,
1601
01:24:00,746 --> 01:24:01,914
but people do dumb shit.
1602
01:24:05,584 --> 01:24:08,086
Hi, you've reached Jamie Rellis.
I can't pick up the phone right now,
1603
01:24:08,170 --> 01:24:10,255
but please leave a message
and I'll call you back.
1604
01:24:10,422 --> 01:24:13,425
Wow, right to voice mail. Didn't even ring.
1605
01:24:25,687 --> 01:24:26,939
Jamie.
1606
01:24:28,857 --> 01:24:31,151
How'd you know I was up here?
1607
01:24:32,444 --> 01:24:34,279
Only place in the city
you don't get reception.
1608
01:24:34,363 --> 01:24:35,614
Right.
1609
01:24:35,781 --> 01:24:37,866
- Why are you avoiding me?
- I'm not.
1610
01:24:38,158 --> 01:24:40,118
Really? Come on, Jamie.
1611
01:24:40,285 --> 01:24:44,289
Well, Dylan, I don't know if you've heard,
but I am seriously fucked up.
1612
01:24:44,998 --> 01:24:48,961
I mean, Magnum P.l. couldn't solve
the shit going on up here.
1613
01:24:49,962 --> 01:24:52,256
- Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
- But I'm just gonna go
1614
01:24:52,339 --> 01:24:55,634
and try to fix the shit going on up
in my head, if that's even possible.
1615
01:24:56,301 --> 01:25:00,013
I shouldn't have said that.
I was just trying to get my sister off my back.
1616
01:25:00,138 --> 01:25:02,349
- She thought we liked each other.
- Yeah, me, too, Dylan.
1617
01:25:02,474 --> 01:25:03,475
I thought we were friends.
1618
01:25:03,558 --> 01:25:06,144
But friends don't go
talking shit about each other,
1619
01:25:06,228 --> 01:25:09,606
which must mean that you and I
were actually never friends.
1620
01:25:09,690 --> 01:25:13,110
- That all you wanted was to get in my pants.
- What?
1621
01:25:13,193 --> 01:25:15,404
You jumped at the chance
at your dad's house.
1622
01:25:15,487 --> 01:25:16,571
You cracked your neck.
1623
01:25:16,655 --> 01:25:18,782
I thought you were giving me a sign.
We talked about this.
1624
01:25:18,865 --> 01:25:20,200
Oh, my God, really?
1625
01:25:20,325 --> 01:25:22,577
You pulled my robe off.
"Oopsy." Remember?
1626
01:25:22,661 --> 01:25:24,871
Yeah. And then you snuck out of the room.
1627
01:25:24,997 --> 01:25:26,164
"Oopsy." Remember that?
1628
01:25:27,165 --> 01:25:30,168
Are you pissed off at me
because I didn't cuddle?
1629
01:25:32,004 --> 01:25:36,091
Isn't that why we started
this whole arrangement in the first place?
1630
01:25:36,258 --> 01:25:37,926
You wanted this.
1631
01:25:40,595 --> 01:25:42,180
I wanted this?
1632
01:25:43,223 --> 01:25:44,516
Just me?
1633
01:25:44,850 --> 01:25:48,145
God, you are just like every other guy.
1634
01:25:48,228 --> 01:25:51,023
The sad thing is, Dylan,
I actually thought you were different.
1635
01:25:51,106 --> 01:25:53,358
Different from what?
I'm not your boyfriend, I'm your friend.
1636
01:25:54,192 --> 01:25:56,361
Well, with friends like you,
who needs friends?
1637
01:25:59,114 --> 01:26:03,535
And thank you for ruining my mountaintop.
1638
01:26:04,411 --> 01:26:05,704
Asshole.
1639
01:26:12,627 --> 01:26:14,588
Hey, man, you can't be up here.
1640
01:26:15,464 --> 01:26:16,631
Okay.
1641
01:26:16,923 --> 01:26:19,593
- You okay?
- I'm fine.
1642
01:26:46,244 --> 01:26:48,288
Bryce, is this for me?
1643
01:26:48,580 --> 01:26:50,957
Yeah. And so is this.
1644
01:26:51,333 --> 01:26:53,919
Madison, will you marry me?
1645
01:26:54,252 --> 01:26:56,171
You bet your ass, Flapjack!
1646
01:26:58,423 --> 01:27:00,675
- I love New York.
- I love you.
1647
01:27:01,426 --> 01:27:03,303
Oh, my God.
Look, the Empire State Building.
1648
01:27:03,512 --> 01:27:04,679
Wow.
1649
01:27:04,763 --> 01:27:06,348
Oh, look, the Statue of Liberty.
1650
01:27:13,688 --> 01:27:15,107
Hello, this is Jamie.
1651
01:27:16,942 --> 01:27:18,860
What do you mean they went to him directly?
1652
01:27:19,945 --> 01:27:21,446
Well, is he gonna take it?
1653
01:27:21,613 --> 01:27:24,699
No, no, no, no, no. I'll handle it.
I'll call him right now.
1654
01:27:24,783 --> 01:27:25,951
Okay.
1655
01:27:29,704 --> 01:27:31,456
Hey, this is Dylan. Leave a message.
1656
01:27:39,840 --> 01:27:41,508
Excuse me. May I help you?
1657
01:27:41,716 --> 01:27:43,760
Oh, hi. Where's Dylan Harper?
1658
01:27:43,844 --> 01:27:45,470
He's at a photo shoot for the sports issue.
1659
01:27:45,971 --> 01:27:49,224
That's right. The photo shoot.
Where was that again?
1660
01:27:49,474 --> 01:27:50,559
I'm sorry. Who are you?
1661
01:27:51,309 --> 01:27:52,477
One of the models.
1662
01:27:53,186 --> 01:27:55,313
I have the perfect body for Photoshop.
1663
01:27:55,814 --> 01:27:59,401
Yeah, this gets more angular,
these get longer,
1664
01:27:59,526 --> 01:28:01,820
and this gets way more Christian.
1665
01:28:02,320 --> 01:28:04,406
So where did you say he was again?
1666
01:28:05,490 --> 01:28:08,869
Sports is the last chance we have
of bringing our world together, bro.
1667
01:28:09,035 --> 01:28:12,080
So I just wanted to shoot some photos
that speak to that,
1668
01:28:12,164 --> 01:28:14,541
to the unification of all people
through sports.
1669
01:28:14,666 --> 01:28:16,042
Okay, guys. Let's go.
1670
01:28:16,668 --> 01:28:17,836
That's it.
1671
01:28:18,378 --> 01:28:19,588
Beautiful.
1672
01:28:19,754 --> 01:28:21,465
Okay, now put your arms around each other,
1673
01:28:21,548 --> 01:28:23,884
like you like each other,
like you love each other.
1674
01:28:24,259 --> 01:28:26,511
- Too gay?
- A little bit.
1675
01:28:26,761 --> 01:28:28,889
Throw some girls in there.
1676
01:28:29,014 --> 01:28:31,349
Come on, ladies. Hop to.
1677
01:28:32,934 --> 01:28:36,229
Girls, girls. Okay, look. Just blend in.
1678
01:28:36,688 --> 01:28:38,899
Okay, let's go boy, girl, by
1679
01:28:39,024 --> 01:28:40,859
- Dylan.
-...boy, boy, boy, boys.
1680
01:28:41,693 --> 01:28:43,528
- What are you doing here?
- You met for another job!
1681
01:28:43,612 --> 01:28:46,364
- What, are you gonna leave now?
- I don't know. Yeah, I took one meeting.
1682
01:28:46,448 --> 01:28:48,867
- I can't believe you.
- Come here.
1683
01:28:49,910 --> 01:28:51,995
- Is this your way of getting back at me?
- What?
1684
01:28:52,078 --> 01:28:54,206
You know that if you leave
before a year is up, I get screwed.
1685
01:28:54,456 --> 01:28:55,916
Oh, right.
1686
01:28:56,041 --> 01:28:57,250
If I did leave,
1687
01:28:57,375 --> 01:29:00,170
Girls, girls. Okay, look. Just blend in.
1688
01:29:00,253 --> 01:29:02,088
I'd write you a check for your bonus.
1689
01:29:03,381 --> 01:29:05,759
Whatever it is, I'll pay for it.
Happy now? We good?
1690
01:29:06,051 --> 01:29:08,220
- Why didn't you tell me you were looking?
- That's personal.
1691
01:29:08,303 --> 01:29:10,597
And we're not friends any more.
You made that pretty clear.
1692
01:29:12,140 --> 01:29:15,810
See, all I wanted to do
was have sex with you. Remember?
1693
01:29:16,561 --> 01:29:18,146
Pretend you were the best friend I'd ever had.
1694
01:29:18,230 --> 01:29:20,065
Open up to you
like I've never done with anyone ever.
1695
01:29:20,398 --> 01:29:23,735
And then when the sex stopped,
invite you to LA for the weekend
1696
01:29:25,320 --> 01:29:26,780
to introduce you to my family.
1697
01:29:28,323 --> 01:29:30,742
- I'll send you a check if I take the job.
- Don't bother.
1698
01:29:35,789 --> 01:29:37,832
Why don't you pick him up?
1699
01:29:38,250 --> 01:29:40,835
Yeah. Just pick him on up.
1700
01:29:41,127 --> 01:29:43,255
Oh, you little Christ figure, you!
1701
01:30:07,445 --> 01:30:09,781
- Hey, Dyl.
- Dad's coming into Newark Airport, right?
1702
01:30:09,864 --> 01:30:11,616
Yeah, he leaves at 9:00 our time.
1703
01:30:11,783 --> 01:30:14,619
9:00. So it's a five-hour flight,
three-hour time difference,
1704
01:30:14,703 --> 01:30:17,330
so he gets in at 32:00?
1705
01:30:17,455 --> 01:30:20,458
5:00. Be there at 5:00, Dylan.
1706
01:30:20,709 --> 01:30:22,669
Right. How is Dad?
1707
01:30:24,337 --> 01:30:26,840
He's lost more often than not now.
1708
01:30:26,965 --> 01:30:29,968
But then he has these moments
of real clarity. It's hit or miss.
1709
01:30:30,051 --> 01:30:31,219
- Okay.
- How's Jamie?
1710
01:30:33,722 --> 01:30:35,307
- That's over.
- Oh, Dylan!
1711
01:30:35,473 --> 01:30:38,518
- Okay, we're done.
- Don't be an idiot, please.
1712
01:30:38,643 --> 01:30:40,979
Thank you, Annie.
I'll pick up Dad tomorrow at the airport.
1713
01:30:41,062 --> 01:30:42,814
-32:00 sharp.
- I love you.
1714
01:30:46,484 --> 01:30:47,861
I don't know what it is.
1715
01:30:47,986 --> 01:30:50,488
I just can't get myself
to start looking for a replacement for him,
1716
01:30:50,572 --> 01:30:51,656
assuming that he leaves.
1717
01:30:51,740 --> 01:30:54,951
- Do you want some motherly love advice?
- Not really.
1718
01:30:55,035 --> 01:30:56,786
Oh, good, 'cause I don't know
how to do that.
1719
01:30:56,870 --> 01:31:00,457
What I do know is that
it's no great goddamn secret
1720
01:31:00,540 --> 01:31:03,251
you live in fear of repeating my mistakes.
1721
01:31:03,335 --> 01:31:05,420
And you're not wrong, so learn from me.
1722
01:31:05,670 --> 01:31:08,673
Do you know how many men in my life
I thought were really perfect?
1723
01:31:08,882 --> 01:31:10,008
- Eighty.
- One.
1724
01:31:10,175 --> 01:31:11,843
- Eighty-one?
- One.
1725
01:31:12,052 --> 01:31:14,512
It was your dad. Greatest man I ever met.
1726
01:31:14,596 --> 01:31:16,264
Obviously. Look at you.
1727
01:31:16,348 --> 01:31:19,559
How smart you are, how great,
how funny, how driven.
1728
01:31:19,684 --> 01:31:21,019
Your vaguely Middle Eastern beauty.
1729
01:31:21,102 --> 01:31:23,855
Sure as hell didn't all come from me.
1730
01:31:24,189 --> 01:31:26,274
Okay, but, seriously, Mom,
1731
01:31:26,358 --> 01:31:28,693
do you really not remember
where my dad's from?
1732
01:31:28,902 --> 01:31:30,528
Or is it like a coping mechanism?
1733
01:31:30,612 --> 01:31:32,405
- A little of both.
- Okay.
1734
01:31:32,530 --> 01:31:35,033
But I'm pretty sure he's Eurasian.
1735
01:31:36,201 --> 01:31:39,871
I mean, we all have our Prince Charming,
you just gotta know him when you see him.
1736
01:31:40,038 --> 01:31:42,540
Mom, it's Prince Charming.
You should just know.
1737
01:31:42,624 --> 01:31:45,877
Well, your Prince Charming isn't coming
to rescue you in a horse and carriage.
1738
01:31:45,960 --> 01:31:47,629
That's not who you want.
1739
01:31:47,712 --> 01:31:51,633
I mean, you're looking for a man
to be your partner.
1740
01:31:52,550 --> 01:31:54,260
To take on the world with.
1741
01:31:54,386 --> 01:31:57,138
You gotta update your fairytale, baby.
1742
01:31:57,764 --> 01:31:59,599
My Prince Charming?
1743
01:32:00,308 --> 01:32:01,643
You.
1744
01:32:01,810 --> 01:32:02,894
Mom.
1745
01:32:25,166 --> 01:32:28,753
- Hey.
- A wheelchair. Like I'm an invalid.
1746
01:32:28,920 --> 01:32:30,463
- How was the flight?
- I'm hungry.
1747
01:32:30,588 --> 01:32:32,298
You know they don't serve food
in coach any more?
1748
01:32:32,424 --> 01:32:34,676
You'd think with these new planes,
they practically fly themselves,
1749
01:32:34,759 --> 01:32:37,303
they could get rid of a pilot
and use his salary for a hot lunch.
1750
01:32:37,429 --> 01:32:39,848
- I know, right? Let's get you some food.
- God.
1751
01:32:40,306 --> 01:32:42,517
The engineering on these planes
is so advanced.
1752
01:32:42,600 --> 01:32:43,810
Completely computerized.
1753
01:32:43,935 --> 01:32:45,937
- It's like playing a video game.
- Exactly.
1754
01:32:46,104 --> 01:32:48,940
God. How long have we been waiting here?
It's ridiculous.
1755
01:32:49,107 --> 01:32:51,151
I'll be right back, okay?
1756
01:32:53,945 --> 01:32:55,989
Excuse me. We've been waiting a while.
1757
01:32:56,114 --> 01:32:57,782
- Harper.
- Yeah, I got you. I got you.
1758
01:32:57,866 --> 01:32:59,492
I have to seat people in the order they came.
1759
01:32:59,617 --> 01:33:01,536
I totally understand that, but I'm with my dad
1760
01:33:01,619 --> 01:33:03,496
-and he's not in the best shape.
- I'm sorry.
1761
01:33:03,663 --> 01:33:05,457
Is there no way we could,
like, squeeze a table?
1762
01:33:05,832 --> 01:33:08,376
No, I gotta go by the list. Sorry.
1763
01:33:12,297 --> 01:33:13,465
Dad?
1764
01:33:20,305 --> 01:33:21,473
Dad?
1765
01:33:22,807 --> 01:33:24,309
Shit. Dad?
1766
01:33:37,030 --> 01:33:38,490
You gonna join me?
1767
01:33:48,208 --> 01:33:49,834
Absolutely.
1768
01:33:54,547 --> 01:33:56,341
Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry, you cannot do this.
1769
01:33:56,424 --> 01:33:58,635
Could I get a steak, medium, please?
1770
01:33:58,718 --> 01:34:00,678
- Sir, this is the Daily Grill.
- Make that two.
1771
01:34:09,854 --> 01:34:11,231
Dede? Dede!
1772
01:34:20,198 --> 01:34:21,366
Dad.
1773
01:34:21,866 --> 01:34:23,201
Dad.
1774
01:34:27,038 --> 01:34:28,122
Who is Dede?
1775
01:34:28,915 --> 01:34:33,211
Jesus. She's just a girl that I met in the Navy
1776
01:34:34,295 --> 01:34:35,713
Was...
1777
01:34:38,216 --> 01:34:39,801
She was the love of my life.
1778
01:34:41,386 --> 01:34:42,428
Okay?
1779
01:34:43,555 --> 01:34:44,889
Why didn't you tell me about her before?
1780
01:34:45,056 --> 01:34:47,892
This is not something
you discuss with your children.
1781
01:34:47,976 --> 01:34:50,854
And besides, I have you and Annie.
I have no regrets.
1782
01:34:50,937 --> 01:34:51,980
So tell me now.
1783
01:34:54,232 --> 01:34:55,608
She was the love of my life.
1784
01:34:55,733 --> 01:34:56,985
And I was too stupid to realize it,
1785
01:34:57,068 --> 01:35:00,154
and I lost her because of something
so dumb I don't even remember.
1786
01:35:00,905 --> 01:35:02,323
And I never really got over her.
1787
01:35:02,907 --> 01:35:06,661
And I think that may be
one of the reasons your mom left.
1788
01:35:07,912 --> 01:35:11,457
You know, my friends used to say that
when Dede and I looked at each other,
1789
01:35:11,583 --> 01:35:12,750
it was electric.
1790
01:35:12,834 --> 01:35:14,085
And I let her go.
1791
01:35:14,502 --> 01:35:15,837
I just let her go.
1792
01:35:15,920 --> 01:35:19,465
Because I was too damn proud
to tell her how I really felt about her.
1793
01:35:20,174 --> 01:35:22,760
I'll tell you something that I wish
I knew when I was your age.
1794
01:35:22,927 --> 01:35:24,762
And I know you've heard
a million times, "life is short."
1795
01:35:24,846 --> 01:35:28,433
But let me tell you something,
what this is teaching me
1796
01:35:28,516 --> 01:35:31,644
is that life is goddamn short
and you can't waste a minute of it.
1797
01:35:34,272 --> 01:35:36,107
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1798
01:35:40,612 --> 01:35:44,449
The girl I brought home to LA, Jamie?
1799
01:35:44,532 --> 01:35:47,201
- Yeah, what's going on with her?
- I think I messed it up.
1800
01:35:47,702 --> 01:35:49,287
- Fix it.
- She won't talk to me.
1801
01:35:49,621 --> 01:35:51,748
Maybe she'll listen. There's always a way.
1802
01:35:51,831 --> 01:35:56,502
If you think there's even a chance
that she could be it, you fix it.
1803
01:35:58,630 --> 01:35:59,881
Did Annie put you up to this?
1804
01:36:00,632 --> 01:36:01,799
Who's Annie?
1805
01:36:02,342 --> 01:36:03,509
I'm kidding.
1806
01:36:03,635 --> 01:36:05,929
What, I can't joke about this?
1807
01:36:06,012 --> 01:36:08,514
- Jesus Christ, Dad.
- I don't know what else to do.
1808
01:36:10,350 --> 01:36:11,476
Let's go.
1809
01:36:11,851 --> 01:36:13,895
You don't want to finish your steak?
1810
01:36:13,978 --> 01:36:16,856
We're eating in the goddamn airport.
I can leave the steak. Come on.
1811
01:36:17,357 --> 01:36:21,319
Yeah, hey, this is Dylan Harper from GQ.
We met a few weeks ago at the...
1812
01:36:21,402 --> 01:36:23,863
Right. Hey, can I ask you a huge favor?
1813
01:36:24,197 --> 01:36:26,658
- I am so sorry, sir.
- It's my fault.
1814
01:36:26,741 --> 01:36:28,284
- You just scared me.
- No, no. My fault. You all right?
1815
01:36:28,368 --> 01:36:29,869
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Here, let me help you with that.
1816
01:36:29,994 --> 01:36:32,580
- Thanks, man. You're really nice.
- All right. Hey, safe travels.
1817
01:36:32,664 --> 01:36:34,165
- All right, thanks, man.
- Okay, thank you.
1818
01:36:34,916 --> 01:36:38,753
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
All right, let's dance, Clowny Brown.
1819
01:36:38,920 --> 01:36:41,589
- What's your problem with me?
- I saw you at that bar with Jamie.
1820
01:36:41,839 --> 01:36:45,426
How could such an awesome girl
be with this over this?
1821
01:36:46,177 --> 01:36:49,013
I've been trying to take that little monkey
to pound-town for years.
1822
01:36:49,514 --> 01:36:51,349
- I'll tell her you say hello.
- What?
1823
01:36:51,557 --> 01:36:53,601
You missed a little. There you go.
1824
01:36:53,685 --> 01:36:55,353
Dylan! I got a cab. Come on.
1825
01:36:55,436 --> 01:36:56,854
I ever run into you again,
1826
01:36:56,938 --> 01:36:59,357
I'll crush your earlobes
and make soup stock out of them.
1827
01:36:59,524 --> 01:37:01,526
- You have a vivid imagination.
- I do!
1828
01:37:01,609 --> 01:37:03,945
- I'm gonna get in the cab now.
- I'm gonna go make soup!
1829
01:37:04,028 --> 01:37:05,905
- What's the matter with her?
- I don't know.
1830
01:37:10,034 --> 01:37:13,371
God! I thought LA was bad.
This traffic is terrible.
1831
01:37:13,538 --> 01:37:14,789
Is there another way into the city?
1832
01:37:25,216 --> 01:37:27,301
I owe you big time, Tommy.
1833
01:37:27,385 --> 01:37:31,764
You'll make it up to me.
Actually, I was heading into town anyway.
1834
01:37:32,265 --> 01:37:36,561
Tonight's the Butterfly Ball.
Great place to pick up dudes.
1835
01:37:36,728 --> 01:37:38,896
- You okay, Dad?
- Are you kidding?
1836
01:37:39,063 --> 01:37:42,358
1937 Chris-Craft?
Couldn't get any better, buddy.
1837
01:37:42,442 --> 01:37:43,568
Nice.
1838
01:37:45,820 --> 01:37:47,989
Yeah. Hi, this is Dylan. We met at...
1839
01:37:48,072 --> 01:37:51,159
Right. Can I ask you a huge favor?
1840
01:37:55,663 --> 01:37:57,999
My number. Here's the remote.
1841
01:37:58,249 --> 01:38:01,419
My friend Dave from across the hall,
his oven broke, so he'll be using the kitchen.
1842
01:38:01,502 --> 01:38:04,839
Your friend Dave is here using the kitchen
or watching me?
1843
01:38:05,256 --> 01:38:06,591
Go.
1844
01:38:06,758 --> 01:38:08,301
- Holy...
- What?
1845
01:38:08,426 --> 01:38:10,261
"How to wear white pants to a cookout."
1846
01:38:10,428 --> 01:38:13,514
Did you scoop the Times on this?
I smell Pulitzer.
1847
01:38:14,098 --> 01:38:15,308
All right, all right.
1848
01:38:15,433 --> 01:38:16,851
Just say hello to her for me, will you?
1849
01:38:17,852 --> 01:38:19,270
See you, Dad.
1850
01:38:20,605 --> 01:38:21,773
Thanks, man.
1851
01:38:22,148 --> 01:38:23,691
Hi, Dave from across the hall.
1852
01:38:23,775 --> 01:38:27,487
Hi, Mr. Harper. How are you?
1853
01:38:28,362 --> 01:38:29,947
And now we know why you're here.
1854
01:38:30,948 --> 01:38:34,535
Mom, I'm over by the Lexington exit.
Where are you?
1855
01:38:34,619 --> 01:38:36,746
I'm standing right by the guy in the tie.
1856
01:38:36,829 --> 01:38:40,500
- There are a million guys in ties.
- So look for the guy I'm standing next to.
1857
01:38:40,625 --> 01:38:43,461
You never do what you say you're gonna do.
When am I gonna learn?
1858
01:38:43,669 --> 01:38:45,171
Just hang on, baby.
1859
01:38:49,801 --> 01:38:50,885
What?
1860
01:38:53,221 --> 01:38:55,139
I don't think I'm gonna be able
to make it after all.
1861
01:38:55,223 --> 01:38:57,350
Something came up. Let's meet tomorrow.
1862
01:38:57,475 --> 01:39:00,561
I'll be on the stairs. Right across from you.
1863
01:39:05,024 --> 01:39:06,484
Oh, my God.
1864
01:39:06,859 --> 01:39:08,319
Have a great night, baby.
1865
01:39:27,713 --> 01:39:29,257
What is this?
1866
01:39:29,382 --> 01:39:32,051
It's Closing Time, by the band Semisonic!
1867
01:39:32,343 --> 01:39:34,637
It's not Third Eye Blind.
Can you believe that?
1868
01:39:34,720 --> 01:39:37,515
No, no, no. Not the song. This.
1869
01:39:37,723 --> 01:39:39,725
You said you wanted your life
to be like a movie.
1870
01:39:40,685 --> 01:39:44,272
Sorry I had to use the real Grand Central
instead of the fake one.
1871
01:39:51,028 --> 01:39:52,113
Listen, Jamie, I'm...
1872
01:39:52,196 --> 01:39:54,365
I'm having trouble hearing you!
1873
01:39:54,448 --> 01:39:56,325
Yeah, I didn't really think this through.
1874
01:39:56,409 --> 01:39:58,744
I guess in the movies
the guy pours his heart out
1875
01:39:58,870 --> 01:40:00,246
and they put the music in later.
1876
01:40:00,413 --> 01:40:01,581
What?
1877
01:40:04,876 --> 01:40:06,043
I messed up.
1878
01:40:07,044 --> 01:40:08,546
I was scared.
1879
01:40:09,380 --> 01:40:11,090
Look at what happened
with my mom and my dad.
1880
01:40:11,215 --> 01:40:12,300
Of course I was scared.
1881
01:40:13,134 --> 01:40:14,552
So I ruined it.
1882
01:40:15,720 --> 01:40:17,513
Everything that happens in the day,
1883
01:40:17,597 --> 01:40:20,766
all I can think to myself is,
"I can't wait to tell Jamie about this."
1884
01:40:21,767 --> 01:40:24,896
When I see someone cursing,
all I picture is you blinking.
1885
01:40:25,730 --> 01:40:30,318
And when I hear a kid's been cured of cancer,
I pray it's not by that douchebag,
1886
01:40:30,401 --> 01:40:33,321
tree-hugging fucking doctor
who ran out on you.
1887
01:40:33,571 --> 01:40:37,950
I mean, cancer being cured is awesome,
but, you know, I wish someone else did it.
1888
01:40:38,826 --> 01:40:40,119
Come on.
1889
01:40:45,082 --> 01:40:47,418
Hey, I miss you.
1890
01:40:47,585 --> 01:40:49,420
Yeah, I miss you, too.
1891
01:40:49,629 --> 01:40:51,589
But you're not wrong, I am damaged.
1892
01:40:51,756 --> 01:40:53,966
So am I. Who isn't?
1893
01:40:54,258 --> 01:40:56,135
That's what makes us so awesome.
1894
01:40:56,260 --> 01:40:57,929
- And our tattoos.
- Yeah.
1895
01:41:00,097 --> 01:41:02,600
- No, no, no.
- Shut up. It's not what you think.
1896
01:41:03,142 --> 01:41:05,603
Jamie, will you be my best friend again?
1897
01:41:06,646 --> 01:41:08,940
- That is so lame.
- I know.
1898
01:41:10,107 --> 01:41:11,734
That's some Prince Charming shit,
though, right?
1899
01:41:11,817 --> 01:41:13,027
- Get up.
- Okay.
1900
01:41:14,612 --> 01:41:17,823
Look, I can live without
ever having sex with you again.
1901
01:41:18,199 --> 01:41:20,034
It'd be really hard.
1902
01:41:20,493 --> 01:41:23,329
Hey, I want my best friend back,
1903
01:41:23,621 --> 01:41:25,456
because I'm in love with her.
1904
01:41:26,332 --> 01:41:28,793
- Under one condition.
- Anything.
1905
01:41:30,628 --> 01:41:31,963
Kiss me.
1906
01:41:33,547 --> 01:41:36,175
- In public? In front of all these people?
- I did not ask you to...
1907
01:41:55,820 --> 01:41:57,822
You can all go home now.
1908
01:42:04,078 --> 01:42:06,038
Okay. So...
1909
01:42:09,000 --> 01:42:11,168
- What do we do now?
- Have our first date.
1910
01:42:11,544 --> 01:42:12,670
Okay.
1911
01:42:15,840 --> 01:42:18,926
Oh, my God!
Did you get a horse and carriage?
1912
01:42:20,011 --> 01:42:21,846
Yeah, that's not for you.
1913
01:42:22,054 --> 01:42:25,099
Oh, thank God.
Horses actually scare the shit out of me.
1914
01:42:25,266 --> 01:42:26,517
- Really?
- Yeah.
1915
01:42:26,684 --> 01:42:27,935
So, where are you from?
1916
01:42:28,019 --> 01:42:30,563
- Outside of Philly, actually.
- Interesting.
1917
01:42:30,771 --> 01:42:34,358
- I'm from LA, just moved to New York.
- Interesting. Didn't really ask, but go on.
1918
01:42:34,442 --> 01:42:37,737
What? I'm excited, I'm on a first date. So...
1919
01:42:38,070 --> 01:42:40,239
This isn't weird at all.
1920
01:42:40,364 --> 01:42:42,533
- We're okay.
- Yeah. Thank you.
1921
01:42:44,910 --> 01:42:46,537
So...
1922
01:42:49,123 --> 01:42:50,708
Yeah, fuck it.
1923
01:49:01,912 --> 01:49:05,666
Roll credits, roll credits, roll credits.
And here come the outtakes.
1924
01:49:06,083 --> 01:49:09,420
Because if the actors had
a good time making it, it must be good.
1925
01:49:09,586 --> 01:49:11,422
You bet your ass, Jason.
1926
01:49:12,005 --> 01:49:14,425
Oh, my God, I just called him Jason.
1927
01:49:14,508 --> 01:49:16,260
Look, the crew's laughing.
1928
01:49:17,261 --> 01:49:20,139
They made me do it! They made me do it.
1929
01:49:20,806 --> 01:49:22,266
It's my favorite part.
151243