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1
00:00:10,298 --> 00:00:12,759
[Doug] You really gonna leave
all this for business school?
2
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:13,968
I was thinkin' about it.
3
00:00:14,135 --> 00:00:15,344
Well, don't.
4
00:00:15,511 --> 00:00:17,305
The best is yet to come.
5
00:00:17,472 --> 00:00:18,931
[Lenny] Hey, honey, I'm home.
6
00:00:19,098 --> 00:00:20,850
You know, I was thinking
about you and Bambi,
7
00:00:21,017 --> 00:00:22,058
seeing you two together
like that...
8
00:00:22,225 --> 00:00:23,436
Like what?
9
00:00:23,603 --> 00:00:25,313
But she came to, um--
10
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,607
over to, uh, borrow this bra.
11
00:00:27,774 --> 00:00:28,816
-[Bambi] Oh, yes.
-Mm-hmm.
12
00:00:28,983 --> 00:00:30,902
I lost mine in a well.
13
00:00:31,068 --> 00:00:32,361
[Doug] Constance Papadopoulos.
14
00:00:32,528 --> 00:00:33,488
-I love it.
-[Doug] I pitched her
15
00:00:33,654 --> 00:00:34,864
on investing in Bottom Dollar.
16
00:00:35,031 --> 00:00:36,991
No, look, she's-she's retired
from shipping.
17
00:00:37,158 --> 00:00:38,618
She... no. She has zero
publishing experience.
18
00:00:38,785 --> 00:00:40,411
I just hear "deep pockets
19
00:00:40,578 --> 00:00:42,580
with no big ideas
of what to do with a magazine."
20
00:00:42,747 --> 00:00:44,081
Why didn't I think of that?
21
00:00:44,248 --> 00:00:45,666
You don't have to.
That's why you got me.
22
00:00:45,833 --> 00:00:47,668
Maybe I have
one good chapter left.
23
00:00:47,835 --> 00:00:50,213
I cannot believe he was right.
24
00:00:50,379 --> 00:00:52,298
[Constance] Yes, he was.
But do we need him?
25
00:00:55,468 --> 00:00:56,844
[T. Rex's "Children
of the Revolution" playing]
26
00:00:57,011 --> 00:00:58,221
[camera shutters snapping]
27
00:00:58,387 --> 00:01:01,182
♪ ♪
28
00:01:02,225 --> 00:01:03,643
[singer] ♪ Yeah ♪
29
00:01:05,186 --> 00:01:08,022
[crowd cheering]
30
00:01:09,315 --> 00:01:11,359
[singer] ♪ Well, you can bump
And grind... ♪
31
00:01:11,526 --> 00:01:13,194
[crowd chanting]
32
00:01:13,361 --> 00:01:15,947
♪ It's good for your mind ♪
33
00:01:16,113 --> 00:01:17,615
♪ Well, you... ♪
34
00:01:17,782 --> 00:01:19,534
Now this is what I call
a comeback, huh?
35
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,953
Yeah, baby.
36
00:01:22,119 --> 00:01:24,163
[singer] ♪ No, you won't fool ♪
37
00:01:24,330 --> 00:01:26,791
♪ The children
Of the revolution ♪
38
00:01:26,958 --> 00:01:28,334
♪ No, no... ♪
39
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,420
When I bought this company
three weeks ago,
40
00:01:31,587 --> 00:01:34,215
this is exactly the kind
of cultural happening
41
00:01:34,381 --> 00:01:35,925
that I hoped
to become a part of.
42
00:01:36,092 --> 00:01:39,428
And I have this man
and his global vision
43
00:01:39,595 --> 00:01:41,722
to thank for pulling me
out of a premature retirement
44
00:01:41,889 --> 00:01:44,934
and hosting
this historic event.
45
00:01:45,101 --> 00:01:48,104
You know, a lot of people
counted us out.
46
00:01:48,271 --> 00:01:52,400
But we are back,
and we are better than ever
47
00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:54,318
with the hottest new movie
48
00:01:54,485 --> 00:01:56,904
to launch
the hottest new company, BDP.
49
00:01:57,071 --> 00:01:58,947
Remember that name.
50
00:01:59,115 --> 00:02:01,284
We're becoming a major player
in media.
51
00:02:01,450 --> 00:02:03,202
And, sure,
Minx is our flagship,
52
00:02:03,369 --> 00:02:06,581
but we're gonna be so much more
than just one magazine.
53
00:02:06,747 --> 00:02:08,833
I'm CFO, chief fun officer.
54
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,127
And I'm art director,
which is an actual title.
55
00:02:11,294 --> 00:02:13,129
We're building a catalog
of new magazines.
56
00:02:13,296 --> 00:02:15,380
Hosting fancy parties
like this one.
57
00:02:15,548 --> 00:02:16,799
There might even be
some merchandise
58
00:02:16,966 --> 00:02:18,259
-coming your way.
-[camera shutter snaps]
59
00:02:18,426 --> 00:02:20,136
You said you wanted splashy.
60
00:02:20,303 --> 00:02:21,971
-Is this splashy enough?
-Well, it's a beginning.
61
00:02:22,138 --> 00:02:23,848
Where's our star editor?
Not here yet?
62
00:02:24,015 --> 00:02:25,057
Oh, Joyce? Uh, she's coming.
63
00:02:25,224 --> 00:02:26,267
She loves red carpets.
64
00:02:26,433 --> 00:02:27,685
She absolutely loves them.
65
00:02:27,852 --> 00:02:32,315
[protesters shouting "Porn-no"]
66
00:02:32,481 --> 00:02:34,025
[protesters] Faith not filth.
Faith not filth.
67
00:02:34,191 --> 00:02:36,777
Faith not filth.
Faith not filth!
68
00:02:36,944 --> 00:02:39,113
[streaker] Whoo! Yeah.
69
00:02:44,702 --> 00:02:46,746
[camera shutters snapping]
70
00:02:48,539 --> 00:02:50,166
-Hello!
-Where were you?
71
00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:52,335
[Joyce] Oh, sorry.
The 101 was crazy.
72
00:02:52,501 --> 00:02:53,836
No, it wasn't.
That's how we got here.
73
00:02:54,003 --> 00:02:55,796
Okay, fine. I was writing
my editor's letter.
74
00:02:55,963 --> 00:02:57,298
A fine thank-you for giving her
the bigger office.
75
00:02:57,465 --> 00:02:58,591
They're the same size.
76
00:02:58,758 --> 00:02:59,967
The glass creates
an optical illusion.
77
00:03:00,134 --> 00:03:01,344
-They are not.
-[Joyce] Look, it's
78
00:03:01,510 --> 00:03:02,428
the first issue
with the new owner.
79
00:03:02,595 --> 00:03:04,513
I wanted to make
the right statement, okay?
80
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,684
And, um, speaking of,
are we sure that Deep Throat
81
00:03:08,851 --> 00:03:10,853
is really putting
our best foot forward?
82
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,521
Oh, I think so.
It's a really feminist tale.
83
00:03:12,688 --> 00:03:14,023
It's about a woman
searching for an orgasm.
84
00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:16,067
Yeah, which she finds
via a clitoris
85
00:03:16,233 --> 00:03:18,694
conveniently located
inside of her mouth?
86
00:03:18,861 --> 00:03:19,904
It's always in the last place
you look.
87
00:03:20,071 --> 00:03:21,489
[both chuckle]
88
00:03:21,656 --> 00:03:22,949
This is our big launch, Joycey,
89
00:03:23,115 --> 00:03:24,408
just smile
and make us look good.
90
00:03:24,575 --> 00:03:25,660
-Have a little fun.
-All right.
91
00:03:25,826 --> 00:03:27,161
This is a big win for us.
92
00:03:27,328 --> 00:03:28,537
-[Joyce] Yeah.
-Oh, my gosh,
93
00:03:28,704 --> 00:03:29,872
there are so many
fabulous people here.
94
00:03:30,039 --> 00:03:31,123
Any new names
on the, uh, guest list?
95
00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:34,543
Red Buttons, the Alans--
Alda and Arkin--
96
00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:35,878
and, you're never gonna
believe this,
97
00:03:36,045 --> 00:03:37,588
Warren frickin' Beatty.
98
00:03:37,755 --> 00:03:39,382
-[chuckles]
-Connie's gonna love this.
99
00:03:39,548 --> 00:03:41,008
Porn has gone mainstream.
We should have
100
00:03:41,175 --> 00:03:42,301
-an after-party, right?
-Yes.
101
00:03:42,468 --> 00:03:43,302
-[Joyce] No. No.
-[Doug] Yes, let's do
102
00:03:43,469 --> 00:03:44,719
-an after-party.
-God no.
103
00:03:44,887 --> 00:03:46,597
The second this is over,
I'm at home in the bath.
104
00:03:46,764 --> 00:03:47,807
Joan Didion has a new piece
in the Paris Review.
105
00:03:47,974 --> 00:03:49,517
I've been saving it.
106
00:03:49,683 --> 00:03:51,894
-It's 7,000 words, no pictures.
-It's a quick read.
107
00:03:52,061 --> 00:03:53,354
-[camera shutters snapping]
-[screaming]
108
00:03:53,521 --> 00:03:54,438
[Doug]
Rich, go take some photos.
109
00:03:54,605 --> 00:03:55,898
Bambs, mingle.
110
00:03:56,065 --> 00:03:57,525
When you see Warren Beatty,
let me know.
111
00:03:57,692 --> 00:03:59,694
-I wanna meet him.
-Definitely.
112
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:00,861
What about me?
113
00:04:01,028 --> 00:04:02,613
You're management, baby.
114
00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:04,156
You're not lifting a finger.
You just enjoy your night.
115
00:04:04,323 --> 00:04:07,702
Well, we are certainly
a long way from Seneca Falls.
116
00:04:07,868 --> 00:04:09,078
[chuckles nervously] Yeah.
117
00:04:09,245 --> 00:04:10,246
[Constance] Come have a drink
with me.
118
00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:11,705
-With pleasure.
-You guys have fun.
119
00:04:11,872 --> 00:04:13,457
We will.
Nice cane, by the way.
120
00:04:13,624 --> 00:04:15,001
It's a walking stick.
Churchill had one.
121
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:16,335
So did Willy Wonka.
122
00:04:16,502 --> 00:04:18,170
Oh, let him have his moment.
123
00:04:18,337 --> 00:04:20,047
Poor man already feels
like an appendage.
124
00:04:20,214 --> 00:04:21,465
-[Timmy] Mr. Renetti...
-What?
125
00:04:21,632 --> 00:04:22,717
[Timmy] ...I'm Timmy,
the projectionist.
126
00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:24,135
[Doug] Okay.
127
00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:25,886
[Timmy] Sorry, sir,
we have a problem.
128
00:04:26,053 --> 00:04:27,304
Deep Throat is missing.
129
00:04:27,471 --> 00:04:29,390
[camera shutters snapping]
130
00:04:29,557 --> 00:04:32,101
[Pretty's "Funhouse" playing]
131
00:04:32,268 --> 00:04:34,854
♪ ♪
132
00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:37,815
[singer] ♪ Uhn, ahh ♪
133
00:04:39,025 --> 00:04:41,402
[Doug] Okay. [indistinct]
134
00:04:41,569 --> 00:04:42,945
Why are you freakin' me out,
Timmy?
135
00:04:43,112 --> 00:04:45,656
-They're right here.
-Yes, the canisters.
136
00:04:45,823 --> 00:04:47,033
[Doug] Okay?
137
00:04:49,493 --> 00:04:50,911
What am I lookin' at here?
138
00:04:51,078 --> 00:04:52,705
That's
Bedknobs and Broomsticks,
139
00:04:52,872 --> 00:04:54,874
a five-time Academy Award
nominated musical fantasy
140
00:04:55,041 --> 00:04:56,751
set during World War II.
141
00:04:56,917 --> 00:04:58,419
Three adorable moppets
are placed in the care
142
00:04:58,586 --> 00:05:00,421
of an apprentice witch
played by Angela Lansbury.
143
00:05:00,588 --> 00:05:02,339
Apprentice? The woman's
nearly 70 years old.
144
00:05:02,506 --> 00:05:03,549
-[sighs]
-[Timmy] Miss Lansbury's
145
00:05:03,716 --> 00:05:05,426
in her early 40s.
146
00:05:05,593 --> 00:05:06,802
She just has
one of those faces.
147
00:05:06,969 --> 00:05:08,637
Well, unless somebody
comes on that face
148
00:05:08,804 --> 00:05:09,972
in the second act,
149
00:05:10,139 --> 00:05:11,891
this audience
is gonna eat me alive.
150
00:05:12,058 --> 00:05:13,142
What can I say, Doug?
151
00:05:13,309 --> 00:05:14,727
My old lady
made me hire her son.
152
00:05:14,894 --> 00:05:17,480
He's a fuckin' moron.
153
00:05:17,646 --> 00:05:19,565
Yeah, Dwight,
I'm talkin' about you.
154
00:05:19,732 --> 00:05:21,484
Aw, you really fucked me
on this one, you know that?
155
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:22,818
[Cliff]
You think you got it bad?
156
00:05:22,984 --> 00:05:24,111
I'd hate to be
at that birthday party
157
00:05:24,278 --> 00:05:25,237
in Palos Verdes.
158
00:05:25,404 --> 00:05:26,405
[person] I'm gonna slide
159
00:05:26,572 --> 00:05:28,449
up and down the banister.
160
00:05:28,616 --> 00:05:30,493
I thought the bed
was gonna fly.
161
00:05:30,659 --> 00:05:32,369
I guess you could drive
over there.
162
00:05:32,536 --> 00:05:33,662
[Doug] It's a two-hour drive.
163
00:05:33,829 --> 00:05:35,289
Jesus fucking Christ.
164
00:05:35,456 --> 00:05:36,791
I have
a theater full of people.
165
00:05:36,957 --> 00:05:38,084
My boss is here.
166
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,544
You are in luck.
167
00:05:40,710 --> 00:05:42,797
There's another copy
of the film nearby.
168
00:05:42,963 --> 00:05:44,298
Bob Evans been sittin' on it.
169
00:05:44,465 --> 00:05:45,633
[Tina] Who the hell
is Bob Evans?
170
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:46,801
[Doug]
He's some Hollywood hotshot,
171
00:05:46,967 --> 00:05:48,052
and I think he did
The Godfather.
172
00:05:48,219 --> 00:05:49,136
Here, give me that.
Give me that. Come here.
173
00:05:49,303 --> 00:05:50,679
-[Joyce] Director?
-[Doug] Uh, no.
174
00:05:50,846 --> 00:05:51,764
-[Joyce] Writer?
-[Doug] I-I don't know.
175
00:05:51,931 --> 00:05:53,974
All I know is, he's been
spankin' it to this movie
176
00:05:54,141 --> 00:05:55,518
-for two weeks straight.
-[Richie] Ali MacGraw
177
00:05:55,684 --> 00:05:57,353
left him for Steve McQueen.
Cut the guy some slack.
178
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,813
[Tina] Doug, what the hell
are we doin'?
179
00:05:58,979 --> 00:06:00,940
It's 30 minutes there.
It's 30 minutes back.
180
00:06:01,107 --> 00:06:02,441
Please... I'll-I'll vamp
for the crowd.
181
00:06:02,608 --> 00:06:03,901
Just please do this for me.
182
00:06:04,443 --> 00:06:05,402
[Richie] Thomas Guide?
183
00:06:05,569 --> 00:06:06,821
[Doug] It's in the back seat.
184
00:06:06,987 --> 00:06:08,948
And, please,
easy on the brakes.
185
00:06:09,115 --> 00:06:11,367
It's a very expensive car.
186
00:06:11,534 --> 00:06:12,493
Thank you, guys.
I love you, I love you,
187
00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:14,161
I love you.
188
00:06:14,328 --> 00:06:16,956
[protesters shouting "Porn-no"]
189
00:06:20,459 --> 00:06:21,877
[exhales]
190
00:06:22,044 --> 00:06:23,170
-Everything all right?
-Oh, with me?
191
00:06:23,337 --> 00:06:24,880
Fantastic.
Thank you for asking.
192
00:06:25,047 --> 00:06:27,883
♪ ♪
193
00:06:30,177 --> 00:06:31,679
Who's that? Who's that?
194
00:06:31,846 --> 00:06:33,764
-Hmm?
-Who was that?
195
00:06:33,931 --> 00:06:35,558
-I don't know. Is he famous?
-[Bambi] Hi!
196
00:06:35,724 --> 00:06:36,350
-[Lenny] Hey.
-I didn't think you guys
197
00:06:36,517 --> 00:06:37,643
were gonna show.
198
00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:39,061
[Shelly] Yeah, me neither,
199
00:06:39,228 --> 00:06:40,604
especially after I buried
the first invitation
200
00:06:40,771 --> 00:06:42,690
at the bottom of the trash can.
201
00:06:42,857 --> 00:06:43,899
But then the second one
showed up
202
00:06:44,066 --> 00:06:44,984
and this one got
his hands on it,
203
00:06:45,151 --> 00:06:46,359
so here we are.
204
00:06:46,527 --> 00:06:48,320
This scene is wild.
205
00:06:48,487 --> 00:06:49,738
-[Shelly clears throat]
-You know what? I am.
206
00:06:49,905 --> 00:06:50,865
I'm gonna unbutton
the second button.
207
00:06:51,031 --> 00:06:51,991
-Yes, fun.
-[Shelly] No, no, no.
208
00:06:52,158 --> 00:06:53,617
You have that eczema patch.
209
00:06:53,784 --> 00:06:54,910
Oh, just put the chain over it.
It'll be foxy.
210
00:06:55,077 --> 00:06:56,745
[Shelly] No, no, no.
I got it. I got it.
211
00:06:56,912 --> 00:06:57,830
-I got it. It's okay.
-[Bambi giggles]
212
00:06:57,997 --> 00:06:58,998
That's perfect. Thank you.
213
00:06:59,165 --> 00:07:00,541
You guys, drinkies.
214
00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:01,876
I'm Chief Fun Offering
my services.
215
00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:04,044
Um, uh, two Jack and Cokes,
216
00:07:04,211 --> 00:07:05,337
unless you have
anything stronger.
217
00:07:05,504 --> 00:07:06,881
Um, I'll see what they have.
218
00:07:07,047 --> 00:07:08,340
-Mm-hmm.
-[Joyce] Oh, my God.
219
00:07:08,507 --> 00:07:09,758
Thank God you're here.
220
00:07:09,925 --> 00:07:11,051
You can keep me company
at this bacchanal.
221
00:07:11,218 --> 00:07:13,929
-[sighs]
-Is that... uh, is that...
222
00:07:14,096 --> 00:07:15,598
is that--no, don't--
is it Telly Savalas?
223
00:07:15,764 --> 00:07:16,724
[Shelly] That could be
any bald head.
224
00:07:16,891 --> 00:07:18,017
[Lenny]
No, no. Look at the gleam.
225
00:07:18,184 --> 00:07:19,435
That's him.
That's Telly Savalas.
226
00:07:19,602 --> 00:07:20,936
-I know it.
-[Joyce] God, the Lamberts
227
00:07:21,103 --> 00:07:22,229
at Deep Throat.
228
00:07:22,396 --> 00:07:23,898
What is the world coming to?
229
00:07:24,064 --> 00:07:26,233
Well, this film is the talk
of the dental community.
230
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,319
Yeah, if that smug Peter Strom
wants to brag
231
00:07:28,484 --> 00:07:30,946
about his porcelain veneers
again, then I'm gonna say,
232
00:07:31,113 --> 00:07:32,656
"Oh, really?
Well, guess what I got to see.
233
00:07:32,823 --> 00:07:34,074
I got to see"--
Yul Brynner.
234
00:07:34,241 --> 00:07:35,451
-Oh, is it?
-[gasps] I knew
235
00:07:35,618 --> 00:07:36,493
-it was a celebrity skull.
-I do like Yul.
236
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,704
[bell clanging]
237
00:07:38,871 --> 00:07:40,080
Now the movie's gonna start
and I didn't say hi.
238
00:07:40,247 --> 00:07:41,916
Uh, you can talk to him after.
239
00:07:42,082 --> 00:07:42,833
-Shall we do this?
-[Lenny] Maybe we're sitting
240
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,251
-by him.
-[Joyce] All right...
241
00:07:44,418 --> 00:07:45,335
-Are we sitting by him?
-[Shelly] No, we're
242
00:07:45,502 --> 00:07:46,378
definitely not.
We're not seated by him.
243
00:07:46,545 --> 00:07:47,963
-How do you know?
-Please don't. Please don't.
244
00:07:48,130 --> 00:07:49,965
[Bambi] That's such
a snazzy jacket, Lenny.
245
00:07:50,132 --> 00:07:51,467
-[Lenny] Thank you.
-[Bambi giggles]
246
00:07:51,634 --> 00:07:53,260
I don't get to, uh, trot it out
very often,
247
00:07:53,427 --> 00:07:54,261
-but...
-[Shelly] You know what?
248
00:07:54,428 --> 00:07:55,596
Let's be close to the aisle.
249
00:07:55,763 --> 00:07:57,223
-[Doug] Okay. Ooh.
-[Shelly] Yeah?
250
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:58,224
-[Lenny] You want me to go--
-[Bambi] Oh, that's so cute.
251
00:07:58,390 --> 00:07:59,475
Your bladder's
the size of a pea.
252
00:07:59,642 --> 00:08:00,851
-[Shelly] Uh, Joyce...
-[Joyce] Yeah.
253
00:08:01,018 --> 00:08:02,186
[Shelly] You know what?
You need to sit here.
254
00:08:02,353 --> 00:08:03,812
-We have sister business.
-[Bambi] Oh, okay.
255
00:08:03,979 --> 00:08:05,147
Prigger! Joyce!
256
00:08:05,314 --> 00:08:06,774
Can I talk to you
for a second? Now?
257
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:09,318
-[Shelly sighs]
-[Joyce] I'm so sorry, Bambi.
258
00:08:09,484 --> 00:08:11,028
[Bambi] Okay. Yup.
259
00:08:11,195 --> 00:08:12,613
Okay. Sorry.
Excuse us.
260
00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:14,823
-[Bambi giggles] Sorry.
261
00:08:14,990 --> 00:08:16,617
-Just scootch that on over.
-[Shelly] Oh.
262
00:08:16,784 --> 00:08:17,618
[Bambi]
Okay, what do you think?
263
00:08:17,785 --> 00:08:19,119
Popcorn, nachos, dog of corn?
264
00:08:19,286 --> 00:08:21,413
Oh, uh, nachos, please.
265
00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:23,415
I have seen popcorn hulls
get jammed
266
00:08:23,581 --> 00:08:24,792
right up into the gumline.
267
00:08:24,959 --> 00:08:26,710
-Yeah.
-Your job is so interesting.
268
00:08:26,877 --> 00:08:28,504
Oh.
269
00:08:28,671 --> 00:08:29,797
Do you judge people
when they get cavities,
270
00:08:29,964 --> 00:08:31,924
or is it nice to feel needed?
271
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:33,884
Well, is it crazy if I say
272
00:08:34,051 --> 00:08:35,761
-it's a little bit of both?
-[both chuckle]
273
00:08:35,928 --> 00:08:37,972
-[laughs]
-[Bambi] No.
274
00:08:38,138 --> 00:08:39,056
No, well, that's
what I was saying...
275
00:08:39,223 --> 00:08:40,641
[Joyce] Oh, no.
276
00:08:40,808 --> 00:08:42,518
Something gone awry
with your mob-distributed
277
00:08:42,685 --> 00:08:44,353
-illegal film?
-Okay, listen, Joyce,
278
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,105
I-I might have to get up there
and vamp a little bit
279
00:08:46,272 --> 00:08:48,357
for the crowd, and-and-and I
might pull you up, okay?
280
00:08:48,524 --> 00:08:50,025
And I'm gonna need you,
if you get up there,
281
00:08:50,192 --> 00:08:51,652
to talk about the--
kind of the lady Minx
282
00:08:51,819 --> 00:08:52,695
perspective of the movie
to keep people going.
283
00:08:52,861 --> 00:08:53,904
All right,
the Minx perspective is gonna
284
00:08:54,071 --> 00:08:56,240
be quite happy in her seat,
eating Nonpareils, okay?
285
00:08:57,032 --> 00:08:57,992
-Want one?
-No, I don't want a Nonpareil.
286
00:08:58,158 --> 00:08:59,785
Those are disgusting.
287
00:09:01,203 --> 00:09:03,414
-Fuck.
-[tires screech]
288
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:04,832
[car doors close]
289
00:09:07,209 --> 00:09:09,086
-[intercom buzzes]
-[garbled voice] What?
290
00:09:09,253 --> 00:09:10,546
[Tina]
We're here for the reels.
291
00:09:10,713 --> 00:09:13,382
[garbled voice]
292
00:09:13,549 --> 00:09:14,925
[Tina] No.
Not Lady Sings the Blues.
293
00:09:15,092 --> 00:09:17,803
-Deep Throat.
-[voice speaking indistinctly]
294
00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:20,097
Okay, thank you. You too.
295
00:09:21,307 --> 00:09:23,892
-Kevin's coming down.
-[Richie] If you say so.
296
00:09:24,059 --> 00:09:26,645
[Doug] Welcome, everybody,
to the biggest and baddest
297
00:09:26,812 --> 00:09:29,690
social event of 1973.
298
00:09:29,857 --> 00:09:32,776
[cheers and applause]
299
00:09:32,942 --> 00:09:35,070
This movie is too hot
for New York City.
300
00:09:35,237 --> 00:09:36,905
They couldn't handle it.
301
00:09:37,072 --> 00:09:39,199
-Chicago couldn't handle it.
-[laughter]
302
00:09:39,366 --> 00:09:41,201
But this is LA, baby.
303
00:09:41,368 --> 00:09:45,414
-Can we handle it?
-[Timmy mutters]
304
00:09:45,581 --> 00:09:47,124
Oh.
305
00:09:51,837 --> 00:09:54,506
But first, I wanna introduce
306
00:09:54,673 --> 00:09:57,176
Minx's own Joyce Prigger.
307
00:09:57,343 --> 00:09:59,553
Come on up, Joycey.
308
00:10:00,596 --> 00:10:01,847
You're gonna love her.
I know I do.
309
00:10:02,014 --> 00:10:04,058
Get up, Joycey.
310
00:10:04,224 --> 00:10:06,602
[Bambi] Joyce! Joyce!
Joyce! Joyce! Joyce!
311
00:10:06,769 --> 00:10:09,605
Joyce! Joyce! Whoo!
312
00:10:09,772 --> 00:10:11,940
Whoo!
313
00:10:12,107 --> 00:10:14,318
Surely we can work
something out, guys.
314
00:10:14,485 --> 00:10:16,445
Shutting this down seems to be
an extreme reaction
315
00:10:16,612 --> 00:10:17,738
to this situation.
316
00:10:17,905 --> 00:10:19,448
You placed ads on billboards.
317
00:10:19,615 --> 00:10:20,741
You got those drive time idiots
318
00:10:20,908 --> 00:10:22,409
to yammer about it
on the radio.
319
00:10:22,576 --> 00:10:24,620
Then you wave your klieg lights
across the city
320
00:10:24,787 --> 00:10:26,538
for a movie that's banned
in half the country.
321
00:10:26,705 --> 00:10:27,956
You tied the DA's hands.
322
00:10:28,123 --> 00:10:31,043
Friends, you're killin' me
right now.
323
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:32,628
[Joyce] As we're all aware,
324
00:10:32,795 --> 00:10:35,798
Michelangelo was repulsed
by the female form.
325
00:10:35,964 --> 00:10:38,342
-Um... uh...
-[audience muttering]
326
00:10:38,509 --> 00:10:40,803
Uh, his greatest depictions...
[chuckles weakly]
327
00:10:40,969 --> 00:10:44,139
...were of virginal,
untouched Mary.
328
00:10:44,306 --> 00:10:45,849
[chuckles weakly]
329
00:10:49,228 --> 00:10:50,854
-[feedback whines]
-Uh...
330
00:10:51,021 --> 00:10:52,439
Have you guys seen the movie?
331
00:10:52,606 --> 00:10:54,525
It's more arthouse
than it is porn.
332
00:10:54,691 --> 00:10:55,818
You know what it's about?
It's about a woman
333
00:10:55,984 --> 00:10:57,361
-searching for pleasure--
-Mr. Renetti,
334
00:10:57,528 --> 00:10:58,987
this is not a negotiation.
335
00:10:59,154 --> 00:11:00,239
If a single frame
of Deep Throat
336
00:11:00,406 --> 00:11:01,698
hits that screen,
337
00:11:01,865 --> 00:11:05,119
we're gonna arrest you
and everyone here.
338
00:11:05,285 --> 00:11:07,663
[canisters clatter]
339
00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:10,082
You guys really know
how to rain
340
00:11:10,249 --> 00:11:12,334
on someone's parade,
you know that?
341
00:11:12,501 --> 00:11:13,794
I just don't know
what I'm gonna tell
342
00:11:13,961 --> 00:11:15,087
all those people
in the theater.
343
00:11:15,254 --> 00:11:16,463
I got no Deep Throat now
'cause of you.
344
00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:18,173
Well, better you say it here
345
00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:19,341
than from the inside
of a jail cell.
346
00:11:22,261 --> 00:11:23,554
[second cop]
Good night, Mr. Renetti.
347
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,390
[Doug] I got egg
all over my face, officers.
348
00:11:26,557 --> 00:11:28,475
You win again.
349
00:11:28,642 --> 00:11:30,060
-I lose again.
-[engine rumbles]
350
00:11:30,227 --> 00:11:31,728
Thanks for nothin', officers.
351
00:11:31,895 --> 00:11:34,398
[engine revs]
352
00:11:36,984 --> 00:11:39,486
[Richie] Deep dish pizza,
353
00:11:39,653 --> 00:11:42,156
a lake as big as an ocean,
354
00:11:42,322 --> 00:11:43,240
-the Cubbies--
-Is that a haiku?
355
00:11:43,407 --> 00:11:45,325
[Richie] No.
356
00:11:45,492 --> 00:11:46,869
I was just listing
all the things
357
00:11:47,035 --> 00:11:48,495
that you missed out on
by turning down
358
00:11:48,662 --> 00:11:51,206
-the University of Chicago.
-[sighs] Don't start.
359
00:11:51,373 --> 00:11:53,125
Running Minx
is my business school.
360
00:11:53,292 --> 00:11:55,794
Tina, you're not running Minx.
You're running errands.
361
00:11:55,961 --> 00:11:58,338
Doug can distract us with all
the new titles he wants,
362
00:11:58,505 --> 00:12:01,049
but we're still his gofers.
363
00:12:01,216 --> 00:12:03,969
-[Kevin clears throat]
-[Tina] Oh.
364
00:12:04,136 --> 00:12:05,387
There's supposed to be six.
365
00:12:05,554 --> 00:12:06,763
Yeah. [sighs]
Bob wanted to give
366
00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:08,432
the last three
one more viewing.
367
00:12:08,599 --> 00:12:09,725
-He's had it for a week.
-[Kevin] I don't know, man.
368
00:12:09,892 --> 00:12:11,101
The engagement sequence
cheers him up.
369
00:12:11,268 --> 00:12:12,394
All right, I'll drive back
with the first set.
370
00:12:12,561 --> 00:12:13,562
You stay and take a cab
with the rest.
371
00:12:13,729 --> 00:12:14,563
[Richie] Wha...
372
00:12:15,814 --> 00:12:17,900
Oh, Porn Schlepping 101.
I love that MBA program.
373
00:12:19,443 --> 00:12:21,445
-[exhales]
-[Kevin] Is that grass?
374
00:12:21,612 --> 00:12:23,322
No.
375
00:12:23,489 --> 00:12:25,949
[The Screaming Gyspy Bandits'
"Prematurely" playing]
376
00:12:26,116 --> 00:12:28,702
[brakes screech]
377
00:12:28,869 --> 00:12:30,245
-[Doug] Do you have 'em?
-[Tina] Yes.
378
00:12:30,412 --> 00:12:31,455
Yes.
379
00:12:33,373 --> 00:12:35,292
Oh, Tina, hallelujah.
380
00:12:35,459 --> 00:12:36,919
[both chuckle]
381
00:12:37,085 --> 00:12:38,003
Tell me you weren't ridin'
the brakes
382
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:39,046
like that the whole time.
383
00:12:39,213 --> 00:12:40,422
[Tina] Would you quit worrying?
384
00:12:40,589 --> 00:12:41,882
[Doug] You kill the brakes
when you do that.
385
00:12:42,049 --> 00:12:44,009
Uh, very good guess,
but no, that is the perineum.
386
00:12:44,176 --> 00:12:46,011
[audience chuckles]
387
00:12:46,178 --> 00:12:49,389
Warren, for the 12th time,
I know you know, all right?
388
00:12:49,556 --> 00:12:53,101
We all know you now. Right?
389
00:12:53,268 --> 00:12:56,563
Gentlemen, does any man
in this room
390
00:12:56,730 --> 00:12:59,775
besides Warren Beatty
over there,
391
00:12:59,942 --> 00:13:02,194
know where the clitoris is
on a female body?
392
00:13:02,361 --> 00:13:04,071
[Shelly] Absolutely not.
393
00:13:04,238 --> 00:13:05,572
Yes, good sir.
394
00:13:05,739 --> 00:13:07,950
The little nubbin
under the beret.
395
00:13:08,116 --> 00:13:10,744
Ew. Jeez.
396
00:13:10,911 --> 00:13:12,996
-But yes. Yes, yes.
-[applause]
397
00:13:13,163 --> 00:13:14,998
It's the nubbin.
398
00:13:15,165 --> 00:13:17,543
The nubbin, everybody.
All right, now, let's--
399
00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:22,130
hey-hey, ladies and gentlemen,
you've had enough of me.
400
00:13:22,297 --> 00:13:24,633
Are you ready for the absurdist
401
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,344
cinematic spectacle
of our time,
402
00:13:27,511 --> 00:13:28,887
Deep Throat?
403
00:13:29,054 --> 00:13:31,765
[cheers and applause]
404
00:13:34,935 --> 00:13:37,646
[funky music playing]
405
00:13:38,772 --> 00:13:41,483
[cheers and applause]
406
00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:44,486
♪ ♪
407
00:13:45,487 --> 00:13:48,490
[crickets chirping]
408
00:13:48,657 --> 00:13:49,825
[Richie]
So do all of Bob's assistants
409
00:13:49,992 --> 00:13:51,952
have to wait
for him to jerk off?
410
00:13:52,119 --> 00:13:53,495
I'm actually a VP at Paramount.
411
00:13:53,662 --> 00:13:54,997
[Richie chuckles]
412
00:13:55,163 --> 00:13:56,665
But I started as his assistant,
413
00:13:56,832 --> 00:13:58,625
and he can't stop thinkin'
of me that way.
414
00:13:58,792 --> 00:14:01,295
[sighs]
The things he makes me do.
415
00:14:01,461 --> 00:14:05,340
[chuckles] You know,
if I ever have an assistant,
416
00:14:05,507 --> 00:14:08,510
I swear I'm gonna be
so nice to him.
417
00:14:08,677 --> 00:14:10,512
-I do have an assistant.
-[Richie] Mm.
418
00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:11,638
[Kevin]
Who do you think is standing
419
00:14:11,805 --> 00:14:14,016
-outside Bob's door right now?
-[Richie giggles]
420
00:14:16,143 --> 00:14:18,437
No. No. I'm getting loopier
by the second, so...
421
00:14:20,272 --> 00:14:21,607
And if I like you loopy?
422
00:14:26,737 --> 00:14:28,572
[Bob] Kevin, I'm done. I need
423
00:14:28,739 --> 00:14:30,032
-a strawberry milkshake...
-[Kevin sighs]
424
00:14:30,198 --> 00:14:31,199
[Bob]
...and a menthol cigarette.
425
00:14:31,366 --> 00:14:33,327
Also, I, uh, fired
your assistant.
426
00:14:33,493 --> 00:14:34,703
He won't stop crying.
427
00:14:34,870 --> 00:14:36,288
-Duty calls.
-Mm.
428
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:39,875
Can you get me a cab?
429
00:14:42,002 --> 00:14:43,003
I have a better idea.
430
00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:45,505
[tires squeal]
431
00:14:45,672 --> 00:14:46,882
[doctor]
Listen, having a clitoris
432
00:14:47,049 --> 00:14:48,425
deep down at the bottom
of your throat
433
00:14:48,592 --> 00:14:50,218
is better than having
no clitoris at all.
434
00:14:50,385 --> 00:14:54,139
That's easy for you to say.
[weeps]
435
00:14:54,306 --> 00:14:56,433
Suppose your balls
were in your ear.
436
00:14:59,394 --> 00:15:00,687
Why, then I could hear
myself coming.
437
00:15:00,854 --> 00:15:03,649
[laughter]
438
00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:06,943
Listen, we have
the problem solved.
439
00:15:07,110 --> 00:15:08,904
All we have to do now
is find a solution.
440
00:15:09,071 --> 00:15:11,031
-[both chuckle]
-[Linda] Like what?
441
00:15:11,198 --> 00:15:12,366
-[Lenny chuckles]
-[Linda weeps]
442
00:15:12,532 --> 00:15:14,701
[doctor] Like-like deep throat.
443
00:15:14,868 --> 00:15:16,036
[Shelly] Sorry, sorry, sorry.
444
00:15:16,203 --> 00:15:17,162
-Oh, my God.
-[Linda] Deep what?
445
00:15:17,329 --> 00:15:18,747
[doctor] Deep throat.
446
00:15:18,914 --> 00:15:20,415
[Linda]
You make it sound so easy.
447
00:15:20,582 --> 00:15:22,918
[doctor] Well, it is.
448
00:15:23,085 --> 00:15:25,754
Try it. You'll like it.
449
00:15:25,921 --> 00:15:28,256
[Linda] Well, what have I got
to lose?
450
00:15:28,423 --> 00:15:29,174
-[doctor] Come dear.
-[Doug] How much time
451
00:15:29,341 --> 00:15:30,550
we got left, Timmy?
452
00:15:30,717 --> 00:15:32,803
Seven, maybe eight minutes.
453
00:15:32,969 --> 00:15:34,805
[Doug] Well, it-it's better
to give the audience
454
00:15:34,971 --> 00:15:36,765
some Deep Throat
than no Deep Throat, right?
455
00:15:36,932 --> 00:15:38,725
No. It's way worse.
456
00:15:38,892 --> 00:15:40,477
-See this crack?
-[Doug] Yeah.
457
00:15:40,644 --> 00:15:42,729
[Timmy] Sound of Music, '66.
We spooled out
458
00:15:42,896 --> 00:15:44,314
right as the Nazis rushed in.
459
00:15:44,481 --> 00:15:45,607
[Doug] All right, so we are
about to give blue balls
460
00:15:45,774 --> 00:15:46,983
to this entire theater.
461
00:15:47,150 --> 00:15:48,026
Is that what you're telling me
right now?
462
00:15:48,192 --> 00:15:49,986
Yes, sir.
463
00:15:50,153 --> 00:15:52,823
[Doug] Teens? Teens? Please.
464
00:15:52,989 --> 00:15:54,658
I need you.
465
00:15:54,825 --> 00:15:56,410
I need you to go find Richie
and figure out
466
00:15:56,576 --> 00:15:57,744
what the holdup is.
467
00:15:57,911 --> 00:15:58,995
By the time I get
there and back,
468
00:15:59,162 --> 00:16:00,539
this reel'll be long done.
It doesn't m--
469
00:16:00,706 --> 00:16:01,665
No, I have a plan for that.
I have a plan for that.
470
00:16:01,832 --> 00:16:02,666
I'm gonna have
Joyce go up there
471
00:16:02,833 --> 00:16:03,917
and tap dance a little bit.
472
00:16:04,084 --> 00:16:05,502
-Please. Please.
-Okay, but it...
473
00:16:05,669 --> 00:16:06,670
-it just doesn't make sense.
-[Doug] I-I-I need you
474
00:16:06,837 --> 00:16:10,006
to go, please.
475
00:16:10,173 --> 00:16:12,342
-I'm begging you.
-Ooh, okay. Yep.
476
00:16:14,261 --> 00:16:15,846
[sighs] Oh, God.
477
00:16:18,306 --> 00:16:21,226
It's a lot. Right?
478
00:16:21,393 --> 00:16:22,811
I've mostly been watching
the crowd
479
00:16:22,978 --> 00:16:24,479
-instead of the screen.
-What? Oh, no.
480
00:16:24,646 --> 00:16:26,898
I-I-I had a large cola.
481
00:16:27,065 --> 00:16:28,859
You know, after three kids,
whoosh, goes right through ya.
482
00:16:29,025 --> 00:16:30,317
Well, Lenny seems to be having
a good time.
483
00:16:30,485 --> 00:16:31,945
[Shelly] Oh, yeah.
Mark my words,
484
00:16:32,112 --> 00:16:33,405
he's in there workshopping
a Deep Throat joke
485
00:16:33,572 --> 00:16:34,740
he'll be telling for years.
486
00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:38,326
[mutters indistinctly]
487
00:16:38,493 --> 00:16:40,287
[Shelly] Huh? Ow!
488
00:16:40,454 --> 00:16:42,581
What's wrong with you?
489
00:16:42,748 --> 00:16:44,958
[mutters indistinctly]
490
00:16:45,125 --> 00:16:46,501
-Joan Didion?
-Oh, my God.
491
00:16:46,668 --> 00:16:49,171
Is it the auth--
Joan Didion? Is she here?
492
00:16:51,798 --> 00:16:53,800
-[Joyce] Hi. Hi.
-[Shelly] Oh, God.
493
00:16:53,967 --> 00:16:56,052
-I'm, uh--I'm Joyce--
-[Joan] Joyce Prigger, yeah.
494
00:16:56,219 --> 00:16:57,554
I enjoyed
your little performance.
495
00:16:57,721 --> 00:17:00,766
Oh, God. Blech. [chuckles]
496
00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:02,100
What are you doing here?
497
00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:04,394
Forming an opinion.
498
00:17:04,561 --> 00:17:07,814
I wanted to see what all the...
the fuss was about.
499
00:17:07,981 --> 00:17:09,524
Well, people are here.
[chuckles]
500
00:17:09,691 --> 00:17:11,651
You know, and people
are really laughing.
501
00:17:11,817 --> 00:17:12,943
But I-I think that's because
502
00:17:13,111 --> 00:17:15,154
of the collective anxiety
503
00:17:15,322 --> 00:17:17,783
of watching something
so unsettling on screen.
504
00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:21,244
The laughter's
a nervous release, you know?
505
00:17:21,411 --> 00:17:23,079
[chuckles]
506
00:17:23,246 --> 00:17:24,372
I think they're laughing
'cause it's a comedy.
507
00:17:24,539 --> 00:17:26,208
Yes. I-I agree.
508
00:17:26,374 --> 00:17:27,793
Well, I don't think
it was their intent,
509
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:29,878
but, uh, regardless,
510
00:17:30,045 --> 00:17:32,047
they seem to have stumbled
onto something.
511
00:17:32,214 --> 00:17:33,340
And will you excuse me?
512
00:17:36,134 --> 00:17:38,678
[mouthing words]
513
00:17:42,599 --> 00:17:43,850
Hey, Joan?
514
00:17:44,017 --> 00:17:47,354
Um, fun idea
just occurred to me.
515
00:17:47,521 --> 00:17:48,647
-[Joan peeing]
-What if you wrote
516
00:17:48,814 --> 00:17:50,273
about this for Minx?
517
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,525
[Joan] Uh...
518
00:17:51,691 --> 00:17:53,443
Just some
small musings, really.
519
00:17:53,610 --> 00:17:54,486
Just you... just your thoughts
520
00:17:54,653 --> 00:17:56,905
on what it all means.
521
00:17:57,072 --> 00:17:59,574
[Joan] It is possible
to continue this conversation
522
00:17:59,741 --> 00:18:01,701
at another time?
523
00:18:01,868 --> 00:18:04,704
[Joyce] Well, uh, actually,
524
00:18:04,871 --> 00:18:08,875
um, we're having
an after-party,
525
00:18:09,042 --> 00:18:11,503
um, which you should come to.
526
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:13,630
Um, and we can...
we can chat there
527
00:18:13,797 --> 00:18:15,715
if you like and talk about life
528
00:18:15,882 --> 00:18:18,927
and star signs
and... [chuckles]
529
00:18:19,094 --> 00:18:20,220
-Um...
-[Joan] Oh.
530
00:18:20,387 --> 00:18:22,597
-There you go.
-[Joan] Yeah.
531
00:18:22,764 --> 00:18:24,683
Is this in the valley?
532
00:18:26,810 --> 00:18:28,395
-[projector whirring]
-[bang on door]
533
00:18:28,562 --> 00:18:30,438
Help me push this
against the door.
534
00:18:30,605 --> 00:18:31,940
-It might buy us some time.
-[Doug] Stop it.
535
00:18:36,111 --> 00:18:37,529
[Joyce] Her-her-her eyes
were smiling.
536
00:18:37,696 --> 00:18:38,947
You know? Like-like-like,
537
00:18:39,114 --> 00:18:42,158
-from ear to ear. Oh!
-[canisters clatter]
538
00:18:42,325 --> 00:18:45,453
[Doug] Oh, God, no!
[groans]
539
00:18:45,620 --> 00:18:46,913
-[Shelly] Oh! Oh, God.
-[Doug grunts]
540
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,081
[Shelly] Oh, that's terrible.
541
00:18:48,248 --> 00:18:49,666
[Doug] Find reel four.
542
00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:50,834
-[Joyce] All right. Jesus.
-[Richie] Oh, okay.
543
00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:52,335
I haven't seen any of it.
How am I supposed to know
544
00:18:52,502 --> 00:18:53,628
-what's in reel four?
-[Doug] Shout it out.
545
00:18:53,795 --> 00:18:54,588
-I'll know.
-[Richie] I've got, uh,
546
00:18:54,754 --> 00:18:56,214
pubic shaving.
547
00:18:56,381 --> 00:18:57,799
Is this the nurse
making whoopie?
548
00:18:57,966 --> 00:18:59,843
There's a straw
coming out of her vagina.
549
00:19:00,010 --> 00:19:01,887
That's Coke dildo. [pants]
550
00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:03,221
Coke dildo starts reel four.
551
00:19:03,388 --> 00:19:04,264
[Doug] All right, give me reel
four.
552
00:19:04,431 --> 00:19:06,224
It's reel four. Give it to me.
553
00:19:06,391 --> 00:19:07,767
Thank you. Come on.
554
00:19:07,934 --> 00:19:09,728
[Joyce] Oh, my God.
Give me that.
555
00:19:09,895 --> 00:19:11,062
-Come on.
-[Doug] Fuck!
556
00:19:11,229 --> 00:19:14,149
[upbeat music plays]
557
00:19:14,316 --> 00:19:15,984
[singer] ♪ Something's wrong ♪
558
00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:18,153
-[both yell]
-[Joyce] Je--God, reel four.
559
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,614
♪ ♪
560
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:23,074
[doctor] Case 358.
Albert Finster. Age 25.
561
00:19:23,241 --> 00:19:24,910
Bachelor.
562
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:26,536
Has an obsession
in finding out
563
00:19:26,703 --> 00:19:29,164
that things really do
go better with Coke.
564
00:19:29,331 --> 00:19:31,708
-Relax your muscles...
-[projector whirs]
565
00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,543
[projector beeps]
566
00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:35,462
[singer] ♪ I'd like to try ♪
567
00:19:35,629 --> 00:19:38,089
[laughter]
568
00:19:38,256 --> 00:19:42,010
♪ Please don't think
Less of me ♪
569
00:19:42,177 --> 00:19:44,596
♪ I'd like to drink
A little Coke ♪
570
00:19:44,763 --> 00:19:46,598
[Joyce] All right.
571
00:19:46,765 --> 00:19:49,059
Oh. Thank you. [chuckles]
You're very kind.
572
00:19:49,225 --> 00:19:50,727
Thank you.
573
00:19:50,894 --> 00:19:52,979
Hi, hello.
574
00:19:53,146 --> 00:19:54,773
Did you enjoy it?
Love your boa.
575
00:19:54,940 --> 00:19:56,524
'Kay, thank you.
Great to meet you.
576
00:19:56,691 --> 00:19:59,027
Thank you.
Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
577
00:19:59,194 --> 00:20:00,695
All right, you should put
some ice on that,
578
00:20:00,862 --> 00:20:02,447
because we have
an after-party to host.
579
00:20:02,614 --> 00:20:04,366
Thought you nixed that.
Who was it, Joyce Carol Oates
580
00:20:04,532 --> 00:20:06,117
in the bathtub, reading
a book or something?
581
00:20:06,284 --> 00:20:08,578
No, it's Joan Didion, and she's
coming to the party, okay?
582
00:20:08,745 --> 00:20:10,080
She might actually be writing
about Deep Throat
583
00:20:10,246 --> 00:20:12,582
for our magazine.
584
00:20:12,749 --> 00:20:14,542
Oh, God, this really is
a cultural phenomenon.
585
00:20:14,709 --> 00:20:16,127
-Uh... it's not gonna happen.
-[Joyce] Hi.
586
00:20:16,294 --> 00:20:17,545
We don't have time
to throw a party.
587
00:20:17,712 --> 00:20:19,214
What? No, it's fine.
Constance is all over it.
588
00:20:19,381 --> 00:20:20,674
She's got a caterer
on retainer.
589
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,425
-Constance...
-[Joyce] Yeah.
590
00:20:22,592 --> 00:20:24,511
...is gonna stock the booze
for one of our parties?
591
00:20:24,678 --> 00:20:25,887
-Yeah.
-[Doug chuckling] No.
592
00:20:26,054 --> 00:20:27,222
-[Joyce] Why?
-No, no, if we're gonna do it,
593
00:20:27,389 --> 00:20:28,556
it's gotta be Tina.
I'll send Tina.
594
00:20:28,723 --> 00:20:29,808
-She knows what good--
-Tina! Where is Tina?
595
00:20:29,975 --> 00:20:31,601
I haven't seen her all evening.
Thank you.
596
00:20:32,644 --> 00:20:34,104
Hi! Oh, my God, hi.
597
00:20:36,773 --> 00:20:37,732
["If It's Alright, It's Gonna
Be All Night" playing]
598
00:20:37,899 --> 00:20:39,234
[Bambi chuckles] Enjoy!
599
00:20:39,401 --> 00:20:42,529
♪ ♪
600
00:20:43,655 --> 00:20:45,156
-Great choice.
-[singer] ♪ Oh, baby ♪
601
00:20:45,323 --> 00:20:47,325
♪ If it's all right... ♪
602
00:20:47,492 --> 00:20:48,743
[Lenny] No, no, I liked it.
I liked it.
603
00:20:48,910 --> 00:20:51,037
Of course, I've had
a lot of women patients,
604
00:20:51,204 --> 00:20:52,247
but the only thing
I've ever found
605
00:20:52,414 --> 00:20:53,331
in the back of a woman's throat
606
00:20:53,498 --> 00:20:54,708
is esophageal cancer.
607
00:20:54,874 --> 00:20:56,001
-[chuckling]
-So another... oh, yeah.
608
00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:57,585
Hey, you're driving.
609
00:20:57,752 --> 00:20:59,087
[Bambi] Oh, the green ones
are for focus.
610
00:20:59,254 --> 00:21:01,214
Astronauts take them
to survive reentry.
611
00:21:01,381 --> 00:21:03,758
-You can have half.
-[Bambi] Ooh.
612
00:21:03,925 --> 00:21:04,634
-Give it.
-[Kevin] I love what you did
613
00:21:04,801 --> 00:21:05,844
with the lens flare.
It makes you feel
614
00:21:06,011 --> 00:21:06,886
like someone's looking.
615
00:21:07,053 --> 00:21:08,096
[Richie]
Most people get derailed
616
00:21:08,263 --> 00:21:09,889
-by the monster cock.
-[chuckles]
617
00:21:10,056 --> 00:21:11,933
Oh. Funny and talented.
618
00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:13,601
Hope you're ready to hit
the big time.
619
00:21:13,768 --> 00:21:15,311
-[Richie chuckles] Okay.
-[glasses clink]
620
00:21:15,478 --> 00:21:17,981
[Doug] Well, the difference is,
cane's got a crook,
621
00:21:18,148 --> 00:21:20,275
whereas this baby right here...
check that out.
622
00:21:20,442 --> 00:21:23,778
Nepalese fire opal.
623
00:21:23,945 --> 00:21:26,239
-They say it's cursed.
-[laughter]
624
00:21:26,406 --> 00:21:28,825
[chuckles]
I say it's expensive.
625
00:21:28,992 --> 00:21:30,618
-[Bambi] Ahem.
-[Doug] A great piece.
626
00:21:30,785 --> 00:21:34,330
[singer] ♪ I know you're gonna
Make it all right ♪
627
00:21:34,497 --> 00:21:37,292
[laughter]
628
00:21:42,297 --> 00:21:43,757
[person] Oh, yeah?
When I was a kid,
629
00:21:43,923 --> 00:21:45,300
I thought a blow job
was someone
630
00:21:45,467 --> 00:21:47,052
literally blowing on your dick.
631
00:21:47,218 --> 00:21:48,928
No, the first time
I saw a penis,
632
00:21:49,095 --> 00:21:51,181
I thought it was
a long belly button.
633
00:21:51,347 --> 00:21:54,434
What kind of wackos
send these unsolicited?
634
00:21:54,601 --> 00:21:56,686
Aw, grandpa thinks he belongs
in a magazine.
635
00:21:56,853 --> 00:21:58,313
[laughter]
636
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,148
That's Wayne.
He has a purple heart.
637
00:22:00,315 --> 00:22:01,608
[Joyce] Yeah.
And a purple penis.
638
00:22:02,984 --> 00:22:05,945
Um...
639
00:22:06,112 --> 00:22:07,530
[person]
Hey, can I get a refill?
640
00:22:07,697 --> 00:22:09,532
[laughter]
641
00:22:09,699 --> 00:22:11,076
[singer] ♪ Now, I know
That when I take you... ♪
642
00:22:14,412 --> 00:22:16,081
[Constance] Ah, nothing
more attractive
643
00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:18,666
than a man doing the dishes.
644
00:22:18,833 --> 00:22:20,668
You know, if you were
20 years younger,
645
00:22:20,835 --> 00:22:22,337
I might just lock you away
in my tower.
646
00:22:22,504 --> 00:22:24,005
[Doug] Well, if you were
ten years older,
647
00:22:24,172 --> 00:22:25,632
-I might let ya.
-[Constance chuckles]
648
00:22:25,799 --> 00:22:27,175
I'm just sayin' my goodbyes.
649
00:22:27,342 --> 00:22:28,635
Not bad
for our maiden voyage, huh?
650
00:22:28,802 --> 00:22:30,011
What do you think? You happy?
651
00:22:30,178 --> 00:22:31,805
I especially appreciate
the way you handled
652
00:22:31,971 --> 00:22:33,556
the debacle
with the missing reels
653
00:22:33,723 --> 00:22:35,475
and the police.
654
00:22:35,642 --> 00:22:37,185
-What police?
-[Constance] Mm-hmm.
655
00:22:37,352 --> 00:22:38,186
I know that you're used
to taking care
656
00:22:38,353 --> 00:22:41,314
of all these things
by yourself, but use me.
657
00:22:41,481 --> 00:22:44,359
I was the DA's
third-largest donor,
658
00:22:44,526 --> 00:22:46,236
and that prickly
son of a bitch owes me.
659
00:22:46,402 --> 00:22:47,862
Good to know.
660
00:22:48,029 --> 00:22:50,198
But I like
what I saw tonight, Douglas.
661
00:22:50,365 --> 00:22:52,325
I'm very excited
to roll up our sleeves
662
00:22:52,492 --> 00:22:54,035
and see where this is gonna go.
663
00:22:54,202 --> 00:22:55,120
Me too.
664
00:22:55,286 --> 00:22:57,038
Oh, and by the way,
665
00:22:57,205 --> 00:23:00,708
awfully generous of you to give
Joyce the larger office.
666
00:23:00,875 --> 00:23:02,210
You are a gentleman.
667
00:23:06,422 --> 00:23:07,465
[Doug sighs]
668
00:23:10,677 --> 00:23:11,636
Your car is on Mulholland
669
00:23:11,803 --> 00:23:12,762
somewhere between Coldwater
670
00:23:12,929 --> 00:23:14,430
and Laurel Canyon.
671
00:23:14,597 --> 00:23:16,099
That Rolls is a piece of shit,
and so are you.
672
00:23:16,266 --> 00:23:17,517
I shouldn't have sent you,
673
00:23:17,684 --> 00:23:18,476
but there was no way
I could have reached--
674
00:23:18,643 --> 00:23:20,019
Laurel and Coldwater?
675
00:23:20,186 --> 00:23:21,437
That's a two-mile stretch,
Teens.
676
00:23:21,604 --> 00:23:22,981
[Tina] Tough shit.
677
00:23:23,148 --> 00:23:24,190
I just walked
into a big-ass party
678
00:23:24,357 --> 00:23:25,817
that I wasn't invited to
679
00:23:25,984 --> 00:23:28,319
for a movie
I didn't get to see.
680
00:23:28,486 --> 00:23:29,362
[Doug]
Go back to the party, guys.
681
00:23:29,529 --> 00:23:31,531
Have fun. Tina, please,
682
00:23:31,698 --> 00:23:32,699
you think
that was my intention?
683
00:23:32,866 --> 00:23:34,075
There was no way
I could reach you.
684
00:23:34,242 --> 00:23:36,286
[Tina]
Résumés for my replacement.
685
00:23:36,452 --> 00:23:38,705
I am the managing editor, Doug,
not your secretary.
686
00:23:38,872 --> 00:23:40,915
If you need me,
I'll be drinking
687
00:23:41,082 --> 00:23:43,209
your secret Scotch
in Joyce's office.
688
00:23:43,376 --> 00:23:44,752
That's where the fun
seems to be.
689
00:23:44,919 --> 00:23:48,548
-[laughter]
-The-the-the only thing
690
00:23:48,715 --> 00:23:49,883
I've found at the back
of a woman's throat
691
00:23:50,049 --> 00:23:52,552
-is a swollen uvula.
-[all laugh]
692
00:23:53,761 --> 00:23:55,346
Okay, these pills are
definitely making me funnier.
693
00:23:55,513 --> 00:23:57,098
-Can I have the other half now?
-[Shelly] No. It's 2:00 a.m.
694
00:23:57,265 --> 00:23:58,725
The sitter probably thinks
we're dead.
695
00:23:58,892 --> 00:24:00,518
Okay, so what's another hour?
696
00:24:00,685 --> 00:24:02,312
You've had enough, okay?
697
00:24:02,478 --> 00:24:05,315
Y-you can tell all your friends
tomorrow at the club
698
00:24:05,481 --> 00:24:08,818
about your big party
with the porn stars.
699
00:24:08,985 --> 00:24:11,613
That's what you think
this night is about?
700
00:24:11,779 --> 00:24:13,406
Shell...
701
00:24:15,658 --> 00:24:17,869
Something is going on with you,
and I don't know what.
702
00:24:18,036 --> 00:24:19,579
And I-I don't quite know why,
but I just figured
703
00:24:19,746 --> 00:24:20,538
it would be good
for us to get away
704
00:24:20,705 --> 00:24:21,539
from the kids and the house
705
00:24:21,706 --> 00:24:22,665
and the responsibilities,
706
00:24:22,832 --> 00:24:23,833
try to have a little fun
together?
707
00:24:25,460 --> 00:24:26,836
I would like that, too,
708
00:24:27,003 --> 00:24:29,797
to have some fun with you.
709
00:24:30,340 --> 00:24:32,592
Look, I love you.
710
00:24:32,759 --> 00:24:34,260
And-and whatever this is,
711
00:24:34,427 --> 00:24:35,970
I wanna figure it out with you.
712
00:24:36,137 --> 00:24:37,138
Do whatever it takes.
713
00:24:39,474 --> 00:24:41,226
I do still have
that other half, so...
714
00:24:43,603 --> 00:24:44,979
[Lenny chuckles]
715
00:24:45,146 --> 00:24:46,731
[singer]
♪ ...to your lips, darlin' ♪
716
00:24:48,233 --> 00:24:52,070
♪ It's poison to some ♪
717
00:24:52,237 --> 00:24:53,446
[Shelly sighs] Come with me.
718
00:24:53,613 --> 00:24:54,656
I know a place.
719
00:24:56,366 --> 00:24:58,159
[indistinct] kiss.
720
00:24:58,952 --> 00:25:00,828
-[both] Oh.
-[Richie] Watch out,
721
00:25:00,995 --> 00:25:02,288
the cabinet on the left
is a little wobbly.
722
00:25:02,455 --> 00:25:04,499
-[Shelly] Okay.
-[Richie chuckles]
723
00:25:07,835 --> 00:25:09,212
[Joan] You're the belle
of the ball.
724
00:25:09,379 --> 00:25:11,506
[Joyce] Joan! Hi.
725
00:25:11,673 --> 00:25:13,591
I didn't know you were here.
Hi.
726
00:25:13,758 --> 00:25:15,051
[Joan] That's by design.
727
00:25:15,218 --> 00:25:16,052
[Joyce] Oh.
728
00:25:17,762 --> 00:25:19,722
Is that your notebook?
729
00:25:19,889 --> 00:25:22,141
Are you-are you considering
writing the piece?
730
00:25:22,308 --> 00:25:25,103
[sighs] I don't think I have
much to say about Deep Throat.
731
00:25:26,104 --> 00:25:28,523
Oh. Really?
732
00:25:28,690 --> 00:25:30,191
Mm.
733
00:25:30,358 --> 00:25:32,527
But doesn't it seem
like people are longing
734
00:25:32,694 --> 00:25:36,364
for a way to be more open
about sexuality
735
00:25:36,531 --> 00:25:40,535
and-and to ask questions
without feeling shame?
736
00:25:40,702 --> 00:25:42,453
And so they've turned
this ridiculous movie
737
00:25:42,620 --> 00:25:43,871
into this spectacle
738
00:25:44,038 --> 00:25:46,791
to give themselves a way
to do just that.
739
00:25:46,958 --> 00:25:48,501
And, do you know,
I don't think it stops there.
740
00:25:48,668 --> 00:25:50,586
I-I think... I don't know.
741
00:25:50,753 --> 00:25:52,630
This feels like the beginning
of something.
742
00:25:52,797 --> 00:25:55,091
[singer]
♪ It's poison for some ♪
743
00:25:55,258 --> 00:25:57,176
Sounds like you've
already started writing it.
744
00:25:57,343 --> 00:25:59,512
[singer]
♪ So wait like a lady ♪
745
00:25:59,679 --> 00:26:03,725
♪ Lady, lady, lady
Lady, lady, lady ♪
746
00:26:03,891 --> 00:26:05,852
♪ Wait like a lady
Wait like a lady ♪
747
00:26:06,019 --> 00:26:08,104
♪ Lady, lady, lady... ♪
748
00:26:08,271 --> 00:26:10,815
[Doug sighs]
749
00:26:11,524 --> 00:26:13,818
-[Bambi] Hey.
-[Doug] Hey.
750
00:26:13,985 --> 00:26:15,653
Well, this is the biggest party
we've ever thrown.
751
00:26:15,820 --> 00:26:17,113
[Doug] Oh, by far.
752
00:26:19,032 --> 00:26:20,366
Ernest Borgnine
and Warren Beatty
753
00:26:20,533 --> 00:26:21,743
came to blows
in the parking lot.
754
00:26:21,909 --> 00:26:24,370
What? Why didn't anybody
come tell me?
755
00:26:24,537 --> 00:26:26,748
It wasn't a fair fight.
756
00:26:26,914 --> 00:26:28,291
Ernie dropped with one punch.
757
00:26:28,458 --> 00:26:30,585
Ugh, I fucking missed
everything.
758
00:26:34,130 --> 00:26:35,923
I think I like
the old parties better.
759
00:26:36,090 --> 00:26:38,176
Yeah. Porn's gone mainstream.
760
00:26:40,553 --> 00:26:44,932
[typewriter clacking]
761
00:26:46,934 --> 00:26:48,686
[groans]
762
00:26:50,438 --> 00:26:51,606
[typewriter dings]
763
00:26:53,232 --> 00:26:55,943
["Number One" playing]
764
00:26:56,110 --> 00:26:58,946
♪ ♪
765
00:27:00,573 --> 00:27:04,786
[singer] ♪ My daddy said ♪
766
00:27:06,913 --> 00:27:11,959
♪ Son, the time's done come ♪
767
00:27:13,795 --> 00:27:16,881
♪ I'm gonna turn you loose
And let go your hand ♪
768
00:27:17,048 --> 00:27:20,843
♪ You got to go in the world
And prove yourself a man ♪
769
00:27:22,970 --> 00:27:25,056
♪ 'Cause you been
Put down here ♪
770
00:27:25,223 --> 00:27:26,849
♪ To be number one ♪
771
00:27:27,016 --> 00:27:28,726
♪ You've got to rise
In the morning ♪
772
00:27:28,893 --> 00:27:30,728
♪ And meet the sun ♪
773
00:27:30,895 --> 00:27:33,731
♪ You gotta sit at the table
And break the bread ♪
774
00:27:33,898 --> 00:27:35,400
♪ And if the blood
In your veins ♪
775
00:27:35,566 --> 00:27:37,318
♪ Is runnin' red ♪
776
00:27:37,485 --> 00:27:39,195
♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪
777
00:27:39,362 --> 00:27:42,031
♪ Or you might as well
Be dead ♪
778
00:27:42,198 --> 00:27:45,034
♪ ♪
779
00:27:47,912 --> 00:27:52,125
♪ My daddy said ♪
780
00:27:54,544 --> 00:27:58,589
♪ Son, the time's done come ♪
781
00:28:01,259 --> 00:28:04,679
♪ You got to look all around
Find a solid stone ♪
782
00:28:04,846 --> 00:28:06,347
♪ You got to make
Things ready ♪
783
00:28:06,514 --> 00:28:10,435
♪ And build yourself a home ♪
784
00:28:10,601 --> 00:28:12,645
♪ 'Cause you been
Put down here ♪
785
00:28:12,812 --> 00:28:14,689
♪ To be number one ♪
786
00:28:14,856 --> 00:28:16,107
♪ You got to rise
In the morning ♪
787
00:28:16,274 --> 00:28:18,443
♪ And meet the sun ♪
788
00:28:18,609 --> 00:28:21,195
♪ You got to sit at the table
And break the bread ♪
789
00:28:21,362 --> 00:28:23,281
♪ And if the blood
In your veins ♪
790
00:28:23,448 --> 00:28:25,074
♪ Is runnin' red ♪
791
00:28:25,241 --> 00:28:26,576
♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪
792
00:28:26,742 --> 00:28:28,578
♪ Or you might as well
Be dead ♪
793
00:28:28,744 --> 00:28:30,371
[Doug] Eighteen.
794
00:28:32,790 --> 00:28:34,917
Motherfuck.
795
00:28:35,668 --> 00:28:39,213
[singer] ♪ My daddy said ♪
796
00:28:42,508 --> 00:28:46,512
♪ Son, the time's done come ♪
797
00:28:48,723 --> 00:28:50,308
♪ You got
To find you a woman ♪
798
00:28:50,475 --> 00:28:52,643
♪ And treat her good ♪
799
00:28:52,810 --> 00:28:55,730
♪ Do your duty
Like you know you should ♪
800
00:28:55,897 --> 00:28:59,192
♪ You'll never have to worry
'Bout bein' alone ♪
801
00:28:59,358 --> 00:29:02,278
♪ The woman's gonna make you
A happy home ♪
802
00:29:04,989 --> 00:29:06,866
♪ 'Cause you been
Put down here ♪
803
00:29:07,033 --> 00:29:08,826
♪ To be number one ♪
804
00:29:08,993 --> 00:29:10,661
♪ You got to rise
In the morning ♪
805
00:29:10,828 --> 00:29:12,663
♪ And meet the sun ♪
806
00:29:12,830 --> 00:29:15,625
♪ You got to sit at the table
And break the bread ♪
807
00:29:15,791 --> 00:29:17,168
♪ And if the blood
In your veins ♪
808
00:29:17,335 --> 00:29:18,961
♪ Is runnin' red ♪
809
00:29:19,128 --> 00:29:21,088
♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪
810
00:29:21,255 --> 00:29:25,635
♪ Or you might as well
Be dead ♪
811
00:29:30,389 --> 00:29:33,267
♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪
812
00:29:33,434 --> 00:29:38,898
♪ Or you might as well
Be dead ♪
813
00:29:44,737 --> 00:29:47,532
♪ ♪
59177
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