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1
00:00:17,734 --> 00:00:21,734
www.titlovi.com
2
00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:28,446
[laughing]
3
00:00:28,488 --> 00:00:30,073
- We don't have time
for this.
4
00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:32,075
You're hurt.
I get it.
5
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:33,868
Now, there's a way
out of this.
6
00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:35,453
Okay?
7
00:00:35,495 --> 00:00:37,205
[laughing]
8
00:00:40,458 --> 00:00:43,211
[clicking]
9
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,754
This never happened
to me before.
10
00:00:44,796 --> 00:00:46,798
Really.
Man.
11
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,426
Oh, man.
12
00:00:52,637 --> 00:00:54,138
Damn it.
13
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,265
You never get a second chance
to make a first impression.
14
00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:59,227
You know?
[engine starting]
15
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,604
Hey!
Oh, no, no, no, no! No!
16
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,567
This time it's loaded.
17
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,111
Six bullets,
each with your name on it
18
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,154
if you don't get out
of my car right now!
19
00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:14,659
That said,
I'm willing to negotiate.
20
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,202
[engine sputtering]
21
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:20,081
Oh, I guess Evelyn
doesn't like you very much.
22
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,541
I'll make you a deal.
23
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,793
You scooch over,
I'll get you out of this alive.
24
00:01:23,835 --> 00:01:24,836
But you better
think fast,
25
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:27,171
'cause that ain't
no birthday clown.
26
00:01:31,718 --> 00:01:33,553
Okay, go!
27
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,014
[horn honks]
28
00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:40,226
Oh, shit.
29
00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:46,107
Okay, L1, R1, up, down, left,
right, right, down, up.
30
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:50,528
[engine revving]
31
00:01:50,570 --> 00:01:51,988
All right, Evelyn,
we have nine days
32
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,281
to get away
from this clown,
33
00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,283
ditch this psychopathic
hitchhiker,
34
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,744
and make it
to New Chicago.
35
00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,370
Hey, look!
You forgot your seatbelt.
36
00:01:59,412 --> 00:02:02,331
[brakes squealing]
Agh!
37
00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:26,647
- Here for the show?
38
00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:29,525
- I'm definitely here
for the show!
39
00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:31,402
[gunfire]
40
00:02:46,751 --> 00:02:48,711
Oh, shit!
41
00:02:48,753 --> 00:02:52,465
[laughing]
42
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,060
- You're not
coming to my show?
43
00:03:04,102 --> 00:03:07,563
Well, then the show
is coming to you!
44
00:03:26,666 --> 00:03:26,916
**
45
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,505
* Oh baby
I like it raw *
46
00:03:32,547 --> 00:03:34,632
* Yeah baby
I like it raw *
47
00:03:34,674 --> 00:03:36,050
* Oh baby
I like it raw *
48
00:03:36,092 --> 00:03:38,594
- Suppertime!
49
00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:43,349
- Stu, I love you,
but this is all your fault.
50
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:44,559
- How was I
supposed to know
51
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,768
the woods would be
crawling with butchers.
52
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:47,562
- They're talking about
getting us exiled.
53
00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:49,522
You had to get caught
sleeping on duty!
54
00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:51,566
- Hey!
You were sleeping, too!
55
00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,443
- I wasn't the one snoring
like a goat in heat!
56
00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:54,610
- It's called sleep apnea.
57
00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:55,820
It's a real
medical condition.
58
00:03:55,862 --> 00:03:57,864
And it would be
a lot more manageable
59
00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,700
if you hadn't traded in
my CPAP machine for porno.
60
00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:02,535
- Well, excuse me for trying
to get you something dope
61
00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:03,661
for your birthday!
62
00:04:03,703 --> 00:04:04,829
- You know what's dope?
63
00:04:04,871 --> 00:04:07,039
A full eight hours
of sleep.
64
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,124
Dreaming is dope!
65
00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:09,208
- [Butcher] Francis!
- [Francis] What?
66
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,127
- Why did you season
both meat baths
67
00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:12,378
in teriyaki sauce?
68
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:14,922
Francis, we talked about
diversifying flavors.
69
00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:16,424
- Fine! Um...
70
00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:18,426
Oh, I'll cover the thick one
in lemon pepper.
71
00:04:18,468 --> 00:04:21,137
- No, no!
[sputtering]
72
00:04:21,179 --> 00:04:23,473
Oh, god,
it's so tangy, dude!
73
00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,183
- I call dibs
on the man titties.
74
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:26,517
[gunshots]
75
00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,482
- Holy cow!
76
00:04:34,192 --> 00:04:35,359
- Clear!
77
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:37,070
[whimpering]
78
00:04:47,789 --> 00:04:49,373
- We don't usually find
the pigs alive
79
00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:53,795
before the luau.
You can cut 'em loose.
80
00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:55,338
Butchers!
81
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:58,758
They'd rather eat the flesh
of their own kind than starve.
82
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:05,014
You guys are guards?
83
00:05:05,056 --> 00:05:06,974
- We, uh, we used to be.
84
00:05:07,016 --> 00:05:08,935
Uh, Mike and I were...
- On a scouting mission
85
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,937
from Seattle
looking for trading routes.
86
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,814
Our car broke down
and the next thing you know
87
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,732
we're getting grabbed
by these assholes.
88
00:05:17,068 --> 00:05:20,446
- We're always on the lookout
for upstanding citizens.
89
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:21,864
I'll give you guys
a choice.
90
00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,783
You can try and make
your way back up north
91
00:05:23,825 --> 00:05:26,327
where it can be
pretty dicey,
92
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:28,496
or if you can
take the grit,
93
00:05:28,538 --> 00:05:30,498
join us in bringing
law and order
94
00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:34,168
back to the Divided States
of America.
95
00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:36,087
What do you say?
96
00:05:41,217 --> 00:05:42,885
- Come on.
97
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:48,182
- Sweet.
- All right.
98
00:05:48,224 --> 00:05:50,059
Welcome to the law, huh?
99
00:05:50,101 --> 00:05:51,561
[cheers and applause]
- [agent] Yeah!
100
00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,688
- [Agent Stone] You guys.
- [agent] Don't go dying on us.
101
00:05:55,857 --> 00:05:57,400
- [John Doe] I can't believe
102
00:05:57,442 --> 00:05:59,694
I already got
a flat tire.
103
00:05:59,736 --> 00:06:01,738
Way to go, John.
Way to go.
104
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,867
Hey, silent
but not very deadly,
105
00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:07,618
you gonna come over here
and help me with this?
106
00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:08,870
Don't shush me!
107
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,037
You come over here
and help me with the tire.
108
00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:13,541
[Sweet Tooth]
* Toyland Toyland *
109
00:06:13,583 --> 00:06:17,879
* Little girl
and boy land *
110
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,048
- I'm gonna handle this shit.
Watch my back.
111
00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,507
Ahh!
112
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,801
Ah, shit. Ahh!
113
00:06:23,843 --> 00:06:26,512
[Sweet Tooth]
* When you dwell within it *
114
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:29,640
* You are ever
happy then *
115
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:36,397
You can hide,
116
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,900
but I have ways
to find you.
117
00:06:42,487 --> 00:06:45,865
Marco! Marco!
118
00:06:45,907 --> 00:06:47,533
- I'll be right back,
Evelyn.
119
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:49,494
I'll get us outta here.
120
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:51,829
- [Sweet Tooth] Marco!
121
00:06:53,998 --> 00:06:58,252
Damn!
That usually works.
122
00:06:58,294 --> 00:07:02,048
[electrical humming]
123
00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:03,466
[clangs]
124
00:07:03,508 --> 00:07:05,134
Huh?
125
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,887
- Shh.
126
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:11,349
[glass breaking]
Oh, shit.
127
00:07:11,391 --> 00:07:12,809
[jackpot ringing]
128
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,941
- Marco.
129
00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:29,867
[growls]
130
00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:37,166
- [Sweet Tooth] Well, hi there!
131
00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:38,960
[laughing]
132
00:07:40,712 --> 00:07:42,422
Oh, that tickled.
133
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,841
You know, my dad always
wanted to play catch,
134
00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,634
but he could never
catch a ball.
135
00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:48,594
He could catch
a bullet.
136
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:50,680
[gunshot]
137
00:07:50,722 --> 00:07:52,682
Why are you scurrying away,
little squirrel?
138
00:07:52,724 --> 00:07:55,101
Looking for a nut?
139
00:07:57,979 --> 00:08:02,066
This is gonna be fun!
Machete!
140
00:08:02,108 --> 00:08:04,402
Huh, swung
a little wide there.
141
00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:09,240
Well, aren't we
a tall glass of water!
142
00:08:09,282 --> 00:08:12,160
Me, I'm more of
a Hawaiian punch!
143
00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,870
[groans]
144
00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:14,871
I'm guessing
you don't fight much
145
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,414
outside of your car now,
do you?
146
00:08:16,456 --> 00:08:19,375
- Look, clown, I don't need
four wheels to kick your ass.
147
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,380
[laughing]
148
00:08:24,422 --> 00:08:26,716
[growling]
149
00:08:26,758 --> 00:08:28,593
Any chance we could get this
back in the cars?
150
00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:30,303
[laughing]
151
00:08:33,306 --> 00:08:36,434
- How about a little
kill music?
152
00:08:36,476 --> 00:08:38,102
* Livin' la vida loca *
153
00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:40,480
* She had dumps like
a truck truck truck *
154
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,273
* Thighs like
what what what *
155
00:08:42,315 --> 00:08:44,734
* Baby move your
butt butt butt *
156
00:08:44,776 --> 00:08:45,985
* I think
I'll sing it again *
157
00:08:46,027 --> 00:08:48,488
* She had dumps like
a truck truck truck *
158
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,406
* Thighs like
what what what *
159
00:08:50,448 --> 00:08:52,408
* All night long *
160
00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:56,120
* Let me see that thong *
161
00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:57,580
* Likin' where
the beat go *
162
00:08:57,622 --> 00:08:58,456
* Da-da-da-da *
163
00:08:58,498 --> 00:08:59,290
* Baby let your bootie go *
164
00:08:59,332 --> 00:09:00,374
* Da-da-da-da *
165
00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:01,417
* Girl you wanna show *
166
00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:02,543
* Da-da-da-da *
167
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:03,795
* That thong
thong thong thong thong *
168
00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:06,464
- Do you love
the silver-haired god?
169
00:09:06,506 --> 00:09:07,799
And don't lie to me.
170
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,008
- Yeah, man.
171
00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,635
Look, I listened to
"Unleash the Dragon"
172
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:12,261
so many times
the disc broke.
173
00:09:12,303 --> 00:09:13,429
I'm not a liar.
174
00:09:13,471 --> 00:09:15,431
- Well, you said you were
coming to my show
175
00:09:15,473 --> 00:09:16,766
and then you
shot at me!
176
00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:18,393
- It was
a misunderstanding.
177
00:09:18,434 --> 00:09:21,479
I been getting shot at
ever since I can remember.
178
00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:23,773
It's force of habit,
I guess.
179
00:09:23,815 --> 00:09:25,650
- Sounds like
you have trust issues.
180
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,984
- Yeah,
you're not wrong.
181
00:09:27,026 --> 00:09:28,694
Nice pipes, dude,
I have to say.
182
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:31,155
That high note, whoo!
It was perfect.
183
00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:33,491
- Oh, word?
- Yeah, can I go?
184
00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:34,826
I got somewhere to be.
185
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:36,452
- I thought you said
you were coming to the show!
186
00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:39,539
- Of course, I am.
187
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,458
Just can I leave
after the show?
188
00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:50,633
- Well, in that case,
tonight is opening night!
189
00:09:50,675 --> 00:09:52,844
[laughing]
190
00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,222
- How were your showers?
191
00:09:56,264 --> 00:09:57,932
- Aw, I don't know
the last time
192
00:09:57,974 --> 00:10:00,435
I felt hot water
that wasn't my own piss.
193
00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:01,686
Uh, sir.
194
00:10:01,728 --> 00:10:03,229
- Consider it
your recompense
195
00:10:03,271 --> 00:10:05,356
for upholding
law and order.
196
00:10:05,398 --> 00:10:11,112
Warm showers, warm blankets,
warm meals.
197
00:10:11,154 --> 00:10:14,240
- Oh.
- Aw, fuck, mashed potatoes?
198
00:10:14,282 --> 00:10:17,160
- [Mike] And goddamn,
look at all that gravy!
199
00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:19,954
I wonder how we can get
one of those punch cards.
200
00:10:19,996 --> 00:10:23,458
- Now, let's proceed
to your initiation.
201
00:10:27,211 --> 00:10:28,588
Right this way,
gentlemen.
202
00:10:30,882 --> 00:10:34,010
What you see down there
is our supply truck.
203
00:10:34,052 --> 00:10:35,845
It brings us
important provisions.
204
00:10:35,887 --> 00:10:39,015
As you can see,
it's broken down.
205
00:10:39,057 --> 00:10:40,933
That's why
it's not moving.
206
00:10:40,975 --> 00:10:45,229
What I need for you to do
is to protect that truck.
207
00:10:45,271 --> 00:10:46,647
- From what?
208
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,524
- Seagulls.
209
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:58,242
- [Sweet Tooth] Skittles?
- [John Doe] No, I'm good.
210
00:10:58,284 --> 00:11:01,245
[chomping]
- Pre-show jitters.
211
00:11:01,287 --> 00:11:03,956
Listen, I really appreciate
you coming along willingly.
212
00:11:03,998 --> 00:11:05,708
Normally I have to drag people
into the theater
213
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,001
kicking and screaming.
214
00:11:07,043 --> 00:11:08,795
But word of advice,
215
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,255
you won't like
what happens if you run.
216
00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:14,717
What? Oh, him?
217
00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:15,968
Nah, he was here
before.
218
00:11:16,010 --> 00:11:17,095
Hey, Donald.
219
00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:19,055
Don't worry,
he can't hear us.
220
00:11:19,097 --> 00:11:21,391
I love names.
I'm kind of a name guy.
221
00:11:21,432 --> 00:11:23,726
You know, the right one
can send a shudder
222
00:11:23,768 --> 00:11:24,894
down your spine.
223
00:11:24,936 --> 00:11:26,938
Wanna know
what I go by?
224
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:28,773
- There's not a person
on the West Coast
225
00:11:28,815 --> 00:11:31,442
that hasn't heard
of Sweet Tooth.
226
00:11:31,484 --> 00:11:32,610
- See what I mean?
227
00:11:32,652 --> 00:11:36,197
I mean, you really
feel that in your bones!
228
00:11:36,239 --> 00:11:38,574
What's your name,
friend?
229
00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:40,993
- John Doe.
230
00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:42,787
- Nah, I'll give it
a seven.
231
00:11:42,829 --> 00:11:44,163
- Hey, I didn't
pick it.
232
00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:45,832
I don't know what name
I was born with
233
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:49,210
or who I am really.
234
00:11:49,252 --> 00:11:51,796
- Oh, amnesia.
What's your brand?
235
00:11:51,838 --> 00:11:54,757
Post-traumatic,
transient, dissociative?
236
00:11:54,799 --> 00:11:55,842
- All I know
is my first memory
237
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,844
is me waking up
in my car
238
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,345
with blood coming
out of my head.
239
00:11:59,387 --> 00:12:00,930
- Wait, that's
my first memory too!
240
00:12:00,972 --> 00:12:03,182
My head
covered in blood.
241
00:12:03,224 --> 00:12:04,350
Of course,
it was being pushed
242
00:12:04,392 --> 00:12:05,768
out of my mom's
whisker biscuit, but...
243
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:06,936
- Whoa!
You remember that?
244
00:12:06,978 --> 00:12:10,440
- Oh, yeah.
I remember everything.
245
00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:12,233
You should consider
yourself lucky.
246
00:12:12,275 --> 00:12:14,777
There are some things
I wish I could forget.
247
00:12:14,819 --> 00:12:17,572
Like the time
I shit my pants
248
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:20,533
in my elementary school
production of "Oklahoma".
249
00:12:20,575 --> 00:12:24,203
I can still see
the audience's faces
250
00:12:24,245 --> 00:12:26,748
laughing,
mocking.
251
00:12:29,459 --> 00:12:31,544
Did you know Sisqo's
real name was Mark?
252
00:12:37,967 --> 00:12:39,761
[grunting]
253
00:12:41,054 --> 00:12:42,680
- [Stu] Oh, a rock.
254
00:12:45,016 --> 00:12:46,559
- Man, what is
wrong with you?
255
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:48,644
You holding in a fart
or something?
256
00:12:48,686 --> 00:12:51,314
- If the truck is so important,
why don't they just move it?
257
00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:53,483
Something doesn't
smell right, man.
258
00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:55,651
- Smells good to me.
259
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:57,612
Back in Seattle,
they treated us like morons.
260
00:12:57,653 --> 00:13:00,448
Now look at us;
we holding .30-cals, dude!
261
00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:03,076
Come on, baby,
get your head in the game.
262
00:13:03,117 --> 00:13:05,828
Come on. Come on.
263
00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:07,663
There you go.
- Fuck you!
264
00:13:07,705 --> 00:13:09,499
- Eyes up, boys.
265
00:13:11,334 --> 00:13:13,002
Those seagulls lay a fingernail
on our supplies,
266
00:13:13,044 --> 00:13:15,546
it's open season.
267
00:13:15,588 --> 00:13:16,964
- What the hell?
268
00:13:17,006 --> 00:13:19,008
Hey, why do you
call 'em seagulls?
269
00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:20,718
These look like
normal survivors to me.
270
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,679
- What else would you call
a bunch of fucking trash eaters?
271
00:13:33,648 --> 00:13:36,275
- Dude, are we really
gonna kill these guys?
272
00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:39,946
[suppressed gunshot]
273
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,531
- There's one left, Stu.
274
00:13:41,572 --> 00:13:43,366
He's all yours.
275
00:13:53,042 --> 00:13:56,421
Clean it up!
276
00:14:04,595 --> 00:14:06,180
[suppressed gunshot]
277
00:14:06,222 --> 00:14:09,726
[laughter]
Melon down.
278
00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:11,227
- I saved your ass.
279
00:14:11,269 --> 00:14:13,896
- [Agent Stone] Seagulls,
butchers, exiles.
280
00:14:13,938 --> 00:14:17,233
They see the world
in shades of gray.
281
00:14:17,275 --> 00:14:19,902
What I need
from you two lawmen
282
00:14:19,944 --> 00:14:21,112
is to just show them
283
00:14:21,154 --> 00:14:23,740
that there's only two colors
in the world,
284
00:14:23,781 --> 00:14:27,326
black and blue.
285
00:14:27,368 --> 00:14:31,289
Now, you missed, Stu.
It can happen to anyone.
286
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,833
Rookie mistake.
287
00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:36,878
Hey, don't let it
happen again.
288
00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:41,507
Okay.
289
00:14:41,549 --> 00:14:44,385
You guys want
some burgers?
290
00:14:44,427 --> 00:14:46,471
- Bubby-baby,
bubby-baby.
291
00:14:46,512 --> 00:14:48,181
Tip of the teat,
tip of the teat.
292
00:14:48,222 --> 00:14:49,640
Tip of the teat.
293
00:14:49,682 --> 00:14:54,187
My marvelous mutterer
makes me mingy on Monday.
294
00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:56,314
- You sleep here?
295
00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:58,107
What, the penthouse
was booked up?
296
00:14:58,149 --> 00:15:00,026
- Nah, way too much
space up there.
297
00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:01,235
Nice bidet, though.
298
00:15:01,277 --> 00:15:03,488
Like taking a shotgun
up the ass.
299
00:15:03,529 --> 00:15:05,990
No, I sleep here
because it reminds me
300
00:15:06,032 --> 00:15:08,409
of where I was
before Vegas.
301
00:15:08,451 --> 00:15:11,370
Back then, I lived with
a real solid group of dudes.
302
00:15:11,412 --> 00:15:15,041
But then the world took a shit
and I came to Sin City.
303
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:18,503
Now that was a party.
304
00:15:18,544 --> 00:15:21,130
- You've been here alone
for over two decades?
305
00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:24,050
- Oh, shit, has it been
that long?
306
00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:25,301
Look at this guy.
307
00:15:25,343 --> 00:15:27,929
Hasn't aged a day.
What a beauty.
308
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,305
Nah, I'm not alone.
309
00:15:29,347 --> 00:15:31,307
I got Harold,
which, have you--
310
00:15:31,349 --> 00:15:32,975
you haven't met
Harold yet.
311
00:15:33,017 --> 00:15:35,812
I'm gonna introduce you.
312
00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:38,439
This is Harold.
313
00:15:38,481 --> 00:15:40,650
Been my best friend
since I was a kid.
314
00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:42,944
You know, my entire life
people have been lying to me.
315
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,405
Even my fucking parents!
316
00:15:45,446 --> 00:15:47,448
But, uh, never Harold.
317
00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:50,993
No, he can't lie to me.
He can't lie to anyone.
318
00:15:51,035 --> 00:15:52,578
- I can see that.
319
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:53,704
[sighing]
320
00:15:53,746 --> 00:15:55,665
- I don't know what I'd do
without him.
321
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:57,708
Look at that smile.
322
00:15:57,750 --> 00:15:59,419
So, you got a Harold?
323
00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,671
- No.
I got an Evelyn.
324
00:16:01,713 --> 00:16:03,339
- Oh, that's cute.
325
00:16:03,381 --> 00:16:07,510
- Before I met her,
being alone was all I knew.
326
00:16:07,552 --> 00:16:10,012
You know, she makes
everything easier, you know?
327
00:16:10,054 --> 00:16:13,683
Sometimes I wish I could
make her laugh. Right?
328
00:16:13,725 --> 00:16:15,351
I have to say
after all this time
329
00:16:15,393 --> 00:16:17,937
that's the sound
I miss the most.
330
00:16:17,979 --> 00:16:20,189
- [Sweet Tooth] You know
what sound I miss the most?
331
00:16:20,231 --> 00:16:23,192
The sound of hand meat
clapping together.
332
00:16:23,234 --> 00:16:25,611
Nothing like that
glorious applause.
333
00:16:25,653 --> 00:16:27,405
I mean, it's almost better
than, I don't know,
334
00:16:27,447 --> 00:16:29,449
hearing somebody choking
on their own blood.
335
00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:31,284
But look at me
getting carried away.
336
00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,578
Good thing that your Evelyn's
got hands, huh?
337
00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:35,538
She must clap for you
all the time.
338
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:37,874
- Nah, she doesn't.
She's my car.
339
00:16:37,915 --> 00:16:39,333
- You talk to your car?
340
00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:42,879
That's weird, man.
341
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:47,216
Ah, mwah!
There you are.
342
00:16:47,258 --> 00:16:51,304
So, if Evelyn's not the girl,
who's she?
343
00:16:54,015 --> 00:16:56,601
I caught this little pest
crawling through my vents.
344
00:16:56,642 --> 00:16:58,478
See, I was gonna
starve her.
345
00:16:58,519 --> 00:17:00,480
Watching the life slowly
drain from their eyes.
346
00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:02,857
Kind of
my artistic process.
347
00:17:02,899 --> 00:17:04,567
[laughing]
348
00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:08,321
You know, the last guy
lasted almost four weeks.
349
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:09,864
Hey, Wilbur!
350
00:17:09,906 --> 00:17:12,200
I think she's gonna give you
a run for you money.
351
00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:13,659
She won't.
352
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:17,413
Bubby-baby, bubby-baby.
353
00:17:17,455 --> 00:17:19,957
- Hey, you tried to kill me
every chance you get.
354
00:17:19,999 --> 00:17:21,709
Why should I
show you mercy?
355
00:17:25,046 --> 00:17:26,756
Goddamn it!
356
00:17:30,301 --> 00:17:32,929
Hey, man,
why don't you let her out?
357
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:35,431
- And why would I do that?
- No, no, no, listen.
358
00:17:35,473 --> 00:17:37,392
What good
is an audience of one?
359
00:17:37,433 --> 00:17:39,143
Think about
all the meat slapping
360
00:17:39,185 --> 00:17:42,772
you'll hear
with four hands.
361
00:17:42,814 --> 00:17:44,941
- Ah, that's true.
362
00:17:44,982 --> 00:17:46,401
I don't often
get feedback
363
00:17:46,442 --> 00:17:50,154
from the 18 to 35
female demographic.
364
00:17:50,196 --> 00:17:53,408
Fine!
[sighs]
365
00:17:53,449 --> 00:17:55,618
You fish her out
and take a seat.
366
00:17:55,660 --> 00:18:00,206
Don't worry,
I got a table just for you.
367
00:18:00,248 --> 00:18:02,375
- And what happens
after the show?
368
00:18:02,417 --> 00:18:04,919
- Well, you go on
your merry way.
369
00:18:04,961 --> 00:18:06,546
- Really?
370
00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:07,797
- Well,
if I'm being honest,
371
00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:10,925
nobody has survived
all three acts.
372
00:18:10,967 --> 00:18:12,635
Gird your loins!
373
00:18:24,522 --> 00:18:25,356
- Tonight,
you will be enjoying
374
00:18:26,315 --> 00:18:27,817
white tiger
prepared three ways.
375
00:18:27,859 --> 00:18:30,111
There's a whole pack of those
milky white assholes
376
00:18:30,153 --> 00:18:31,988
breeding up on
the fourth floor.
377
00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:33,948
Anyway, enjoy.
378
00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:35,575
Bony tit!
379
00:18:39,454 --> 00:18:40,747
- Give me back those keys!
Hey, hey!
380
00:18:40,788 --> 00:18:41,914
If it wasn't for me,
381
00:18:41,956 --> 00:18:43,916
you would be
a starving corpse right now.
382
00:18:54,469 --> 00:18:57,972
Listen, neither one of us
made it pretty far on our own.
383
00:18:58,014 --> 00:19:02,101
So, instead of us trying to--
holy shit, this steak is good.
384
00:19:02,143 --> 00:19:03,811
Instead of us trying to stab
each other in the back,
385
00:19:03,853 --> 00:19:05,521
we should put our heads
together and figure out
386
00:19:05,563 --> 00:19:07,398
how in the hell we're going
to make it through the show.
387
00:19:09,734 --> 00:19:11,694
Is any of this
getting through to you?
388
00:19:16,032 --> 00:19:18,785
Blink twice for yes.
389
00:19:20,369 --> 00:19:22,914
Cool, we're fucked.
390
00:19:22,955 --> 00:19:23,998
[clapping]
391
00:19:26,209 --> 00:19:27,418
[clears throat]
392
00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:34,467
- Tonight, I will be presenting
a one-man play entitled
393
00:19:34,509 --> 00:19:37,595
"That's In-Room
Entertainment",
394
00:19:37,637 --> 00:19:40,348
based on the hotel's
in-room entertainment.
395
00:19:42,183 --> 00:19:46,479
**
396
00:19:46,521 --> 00:19:49,023
Hi, I'm Debra
from guest services.
397
00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:51,359
And welcome to Nevada!
398
00:19:51,401 --> 00:19:55,279
Deep in the heart of Vegas
is the Monte Cristo,
399
00:19:55,321 --> 00:19:57,782
a veritable oasis
in the sand.
400
00:20:01,786 --> 00:20:04,497
And don't forget
about our promenade.
401
00:20:04,539 --> 00:20:06,541
It features
all the latest brands
402
00:20:06,582 --> 00:20:09,836
and is just a stone's throw
from the salon.
403
00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:13,047
Girl, might be time to take care
of those split ends!
404
00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:21,597
And for all you
lovebirds out there,
405
00:20:21,639 --> 00:20:26,352
Las Vegas is still the marriage
capital of the world.
406
00:20:26,394 --> 00:20:28,771
Time for kisses!
407
00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:36,779
And you have selected
express checkout.
408
00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:39,907
Please leave your key
at the drop box
409
00:20:39,949 --> 00:20:42,744
at the front desk.
410
00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:46,080
And thank you
for staying with us.
411
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:57,383
Well, we've come
to the Q&A
412
00:20:57,425 --> 00:21:00,386
where I ask the Q's
or I kick your A.
413
00:21:00,428 --> 00:21:03,347
So, now is
the moment of truth.
414
00:21:03,389 --> 00:21:05,099
What do you think?
415
00:21:07,518 --> 00:21:12,899
- Oh, um, I loved it.
416
00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:15,359
- Liar!
417
00:21:15,401 --> 00:21:17,945
What exactly
did you love about it?
418
00:21:17,987 --> 00:21:19,697
- Uh, your performance!
I was moved!
419
00:21:23,534 --> 00:21:25,995
What? It was
a tour de force!
420
00:21:26,037 --> 00:21:29,415
- I am gonna tour de force
this machete down your throat!
421
00:21:29,457 --> 00:21:31,626
If you're not gonna
tell the truth,
422
00:21:31,667 --> 00:21:34,295
then I'm gonna make you
shut up and bleed.
423
00:21:34,337 --> 00:21:37,090
- It was a fucking
snooze-fest.
424
00:21:37,131 --> 00:21:39,133
- Now you talk?
425
00:21:39,175 --> 00:21:40,176
- What the hell
did you say?
426
00:21:40,218 --> 00:21:42,303
- It sucked.
427
00:21:42,345 --> 00:21:43,971
Your performance was
dull as dick water
428
00:21:44,013 --> 00:21:46,474
and frankly beneath you.
429
00:21:46,516 --> 00:21:48,267
- And you?
430
00:21:48,309 --> 00:21:50,019
You agree with her?
431
00:21:56,818 --> 00:21:59,695
- Yes.
I agree with her.
432
00:22:02,448 --> 00:22:03,991
Come on, man,
it was boring.
433
00:22:04,033 --> 00:22:04,992
I get it,
you've been here forever,
434
00:22:05,034 --> 00:22:06,828
but you did a play
about a hotel!
435
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,459
- But didn't Mark Twain say
you should write what you know?
436
00:22:13,501 --> 00:22:14,752
- Well, Mark Twain's
a dumbass.
437
00:22:14,794 --> 00:22:16,129
You gotta get out
in the world, man.
438
00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:17,547
- Yeah.
Look, trust me,
439
00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:20,425
you don't want to spend
the rest of your life alone.
440
00:22:20,466 --> 00:22:22,009
You end up
talking to a car.
441
00:22:22,051 --> 00:22:23,636
- Yeah, like this guy.
442
00:22:23,678 --> 00:22:25,304
- You know what?
You're right.
443
00:22:25,346 --> 00:22:27,056
I can't wait here
for my audience.
444
00:22:27,098 --> 00:22:30,935
I need to get out there
and hunt my audience down.
445
00:22:30,977 --> 00:22:32,019
- Oh, no, no,
that's not what I meant.
446
00:22:32,061 --> 00:22:33,980
- No, that's exactly
what you meant.
447
00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:36,983
I'm gonna get out there,
and I'm gonna embrace the chaos.
448
00:22:37,024 --> 00:22:41,446
Who knows,
maybe I'll even fall in love!
449
00:22:41,487 --> 00:22:44,073
The show is going
on the road!
450
00:22:44,115 --> 00:22:53,833
**
451
00:22:53,875 --> 00:22:56,127
- That was
beautiful, man!
452
00:22:56,169 --> 00:23:04,135
**
453
00:23:17,565 --> 00:23:19,859
- Well, a night
of firsts.
454
00:23:19,901 --> 00:23:21,110
My first
honest critique,
455
00:23:21,152 --> 00:23:23,821
first people I ever let
leave here alive,
456
00:23:23,863 --> 00:23:27,867
but most importantly,
my first two fans.
457
00:23:27,909 --> 00:23:29,619
You two.
458
00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:31,954
I got you a headshot.
459
00:23:31,996 --> 00:23:33,831
There's an inscription
in that.
460
00:23:33,873 --> 00:23:36,709
- [John Doe] "See you soon."
- I hope not.
461
00:23:36,751 --> 00:23:39,295
- Hey, thanks
for being honest.
462
00:23:43,508 --> 00:23:45,843
[engine revving
and tires squealing]
463
00:23:45,885 --> 00:24:00,316
**
464
00:24:00,358 --> 00:24:03,528
[gunshots]
465
00:24:03,569 --> 00:24:05,363
* Come on *
466
00:24:05,405 --> 00:24:07,490
* Come on *
467
00:24:07,532 --> 00:24:09,659
* Come on *
468
00:24:09,700 --> 00:24:14,914
* Yeah *
469
00:24:14,956 --> 00:24:17,625
* Baby
That thong *
470
00:24:17,667 --> 00:24:21,379
* I said I like
the way *
471
00:24:21,421 --> 00:24:24,757
* Baby *
472
00:24:24,799 --> 00:24:29,762
* Listen
Said I like the way *
473
00:24:29,804 --> 00:24:33,474
* I don't think
you heard me *
474
00:24:33,516 --> 00:24:37,311
* Oh-oh-oh *
475
00:24:39,647 --> 00:24:41,774
* Baby *
476
00:24:41,816 --> 00:24:45,445
* Oh-oh-oh *
477
00:24:45,486 --> 00:24:49,115
* Yeah *
478
00:24:49,157 --> 00:24:52,243
* All right *
479
00:24:52,285 --> 00:24:53,619
- [John Doe] You know, I have
to admit I didn't think
480
00:24:53,661 --> 00:24:56,497
we were gonna make it
out of there alive.
481
00:24:56,539 --> 00:24:57,832
I mean, it would have been
a lot easier
482
00:24:57,874 --> 00:24:59,500
if you had piped up
instead of just trying to--
483
00:24:59,542 --> 00:25:01,085
oh, come on!
Have you learned nothing?
484
00:25:04,839 --> 00:25:06,340
What is your problem
anyway?
485
00:25:06,382 --> 00:25:07,467
- I'm trying
to find someone.
486
00:25:07,508 --> 00:25:08,426
- Well, I'm trying
to get somewhere,
487
00:25:08,468 --> 00:25:09,385
and I lost a hell
of a lot of time
488
00:25:09,427 --> 00:25:11,179
watching that
god-awful play.
489
00:25:13,222 --> 00:25:15,391
If you put the gun down,
I'll drop you off
490
00:25:15,433 --> 00:25:17,643
as close as I can
to where you're going. Deal?
491
00:25:17,685 --> 00:25:20,021
- Fine.
But I'm keeping the gun.
492
00:25:20,063 --> 00:25:22,398
- No, come on, that one's new.
All right, all right, take it.
493
00:25:27,904 --> 00:25:29,739
What's your name anyway?
494
00:25:32,575 --> 00:25:34,327
Okay, I'll start.
Hi, I'm John.
495
00:25:34,368 --> 00:25:36,496
You're...?
496
00:25:36,537 --> 00:25:38,581
Bridget?
497
00:25:38,623 --> 00:25:40,083
Yolanda?
Jennifer?
498
00:25:41,751 --> 00:25:43,795
Okay. So, since you
like to be quiet,
499
00:25:43,836 --> 00:25:45,505
that's what I'm gonna
call you: Quiet.
500
00:25:45,546 --> 00:25:48,174
Is that okay, Quiet?
- Yep.
501
00:25:48,216 --> 00:25:50,009
- So, you're really not
gonna tell me your name?
502
00:25:50,051 --> 00:25:51,719
- Nope.
503
00:25:52,678 --> 00:25:54,347
- Fine.
504
00:25:54,389 --> 00:25:55,932
Makes it easier
when I drop your ass off
505
00:25:55,973 --> 00:25:58,476
in the middle
of nowhere, Quiet.
506
00:26:05,108 --> 00:26:06,526
- [Agent Shepard]
Sack up, newbs.
507
00:26:06,567 --> 00:26:09,237
Got a live one.
508
00:26:09,278 --> 00:26:11,030
I'll stop the vehicle
509
00:26:11,072 --> 00:26:13,116
and demand to see
their open road license.
510
00:26:13,157 --> 00:26:15,118
If they don't got it,
they don't pass.
511
00:26:19,455 --> 00:26:20,415
What?
512
00:26:20,456 --> 00:26:22,542
- Hey, sorry,
just one question.
513
00:26:22,583 --> 00:26:24,919
Where do we bring 'em?
514
00:26:24,961 --> 00:26:28,798
Oh, and why are we
stopping them?
515
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,551
And what's
an open road license?
516
00:26:31,592 --> 00:26:33,886
Is it common at the--
- Just get in.
517
00:26:33,928 --> 00:26:36,097
- We learn on the job.
I respect that.
518
00:26:36,931 --> 00:26:37,932
- I've never seen
a checkpoint
519
00:26:37,974 --> 00:26:39,934
that wasn't outside
of a settlement.
520
00:26:39,976 --> 00:26:41,144
And these guys
aren't on the map.
521
00:26:41,185 --> 00:26:43,938
So, more delays.
522
00:26:43,980 --> 00:26:45,022
Let me do
all the talking.
523
00:26:45,064 --> 00:26:46,399
I deal with these guys
all the time.
524
00:26:46,441 --> 00:26:49,235
I speak their lingo.
525
00:26:49,277 --> 00:26:52,029
- Hey, ORL, please.
526
00:26:52,071 --> 00:26:54,449
- Did you just ask me
for oral?
527
00:26:54,490 --> 00:26:58,286
- Uh, no, sir.
ORL.
528
00:26:58,327 --> 00:26:59,954
Open road license.
529
00:26:59,996 --> 00:27:02,582
- That's an awful acronym.
530
00:27:02,623 --> 00:27:04,584
Hey, look,
I'm just a milkman.
531
00:27:04,625 --> 00:27:07,211
I'm just passing through, man.
Come on.
532
00:27:07,253 --> 00:27:08,838
And you guys look great,
by the way.
533
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,173
I love your shirts, man.
534
00:27:10,214 --> 00:27:12,008
What are you, like a club
or a team or something?
535
00:27:12,050 --> 00:27:14,761
- We're officers.
Of the law.
536
00:27:14,802 --> 00:27:17,305
- Ah, angry black friend.
Okay.
537
00:27:26,731 --> 00:27:29,108
Hey, where--
Get back in the car!
538
00:27:29,150 --> 00:27:30,485
- [Stu] Listen to
your friend!
539
00:27:30,526 --> 00:27:31,861
- Eat my ass,
motherfucker!
540
00:27:31,903 --> 00:27:35,823
[clicking and buzzing]
541
00:27:35,865 --> 00:27:38,117
[wincing]
542
00:27:38,159 --> 00:27:44,499
**
543
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:51,499
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