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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,920 Jim, I'll need eight battery-operated candles. 2 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,160 They're in my desk drawer. 3 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,120 - Will you just answer a simple question? - If I hear one, of course. 4 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,200 - Uh, this way, please, Jim. - What is happening? 5 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,800 Why is everything so weird? 6 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,440 This all started last week when the power went out, didn't it? 7 00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,000 Three questions, none of them simple. 8 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,120 But to answer your last one, no. 9 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,440 This all started a very long time ago. 10 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,560 But... also, yes. 11 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,200 So, why were we all dancing? 12 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,681 I thought it might make you realize that Maggie loved you, 13 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,040 and then you'd fall in love with her. 14 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,680 It all looks so simple in Jane Austen. 15 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:53,560 Jane Austen? 16 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,160 Oh, yes, the brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell diamond robbery. 17 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,080 You're going to let us in, whether you like it or not. 18 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,240 Not. 19 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,520 You are not welcome here. 20 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,920 Heaven. Doors opening. 21 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,160 - Right. Where do you keep your records? - Records? 22 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,000 You're a scrivener, 37th class. Records, where? 23 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,560 - My office, but... - Lead on. 24 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,960 But... No, I can't! 25 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,040 You're a demon! I can't just... 26 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,360 Do you know how much trouble I'll get into for this? 27 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:31,720 It's fine. 28 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,120 You're forgetting about the bees. 29 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,560 - Bees? - Angels are like bees. 30 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,200 Fiercely protective of their hive if you're trying to get inside. 31 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,360 Once you're in... well, I mean... 32 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,360 is it even faintly possible that an unauthorized demon might be just 33 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,160 wandering around in Heaven unescorted? 34 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:50,480 Mm, bees. 35 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,200 But you don't look like a bee. 36 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,360 You look like a murder hornet 37 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:56,960 or a snake or a... 38 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,200 Bees. Right. 39 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:01,400 Your office. I'll follow you. 40 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,120 Go, go. Hide. 41 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,880 You lot are ridiculous. 42 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,600 We are the legions of the damned. We are invincible. 43 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,760 You might be invincible, but you're still stuck out there, and we're in here. 44 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:26,960 You don't frighten me. 45 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:37,520 I had brothers. You don't scare me by making faces. 46 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,280 - Just leave 'em alone, Maggie. - No. 47 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,440 I'm not scared of them. 48 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,560 I've spent my life being scared of things. 49 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,520 And I'm done with being scared. 50 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,040 Please, Maggie. 51 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,840 Yes, please, Maggie. 52 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:55,040 Please don't embarrass yourself in front of the woman you pathetically love. 53 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:59,440 She's not embarrassing herself. She's... braver than anyone I know. 54 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,240 Two cowards. 55 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:05,160 You posture bravely because you are in there and we are out here. 56 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,640 Leave us alone. Leave this shop alone. 57 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,480 Leave Mr. Fell alone. 58 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,520 You are nothing, Maggie. 59 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,320 Look at you. You run a shop nobody visits, 60 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,000 unable to pay the rent. Dull. 61 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,480 You're unloved and unlovable. 62 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,240 You're a nobody, 63 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,800 and you'll live, and then you'll die, a nobody. 64 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,200 My God, you lot are pathetic. 65 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,440 You wanna come in here and say that to my face? 66 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,000 Come on, quickly. Go! 67 00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,560 Maggie, 68 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,280 what just happened? 69 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,920 I... I think I might have just told them they could come in. 70 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,000 Get back... Get back here now, fast, please. 71 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,080 It's for your own good. 72 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,520 I am perfectly prepared to take defensive action, 73 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,960 should it become necessary. 74 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,680 Stay back. 75 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000 Hello? 76 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,600 Is there anybody there? 77 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:31,600 I have to tell you, 78 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,480 you can all leave now, 79 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,040 and nobody will be hurt. 80 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,520 You'll be hurt. 81 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,440 - Mm, nice office. - It's a bit lonely. 82 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,280 That was why I was so pleased when they said I finally had a job on Earth. 83 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,280 Don't you ever see anyone here? 84 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,760 Well, every few hundred years someone comes and asks me for something. 85 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,680 - You're not really under arrest, are you? - Not really, no. 86 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,240 I'm helping you, aren't I? 87 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:57,880 Yeah. 88 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,720 - I'm going to get into so much trouble. - You think so? 89 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,480 Well then, let's make it worthwhile. 90 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,720 What have you got on Gabriel? 91 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,800 It's all confidential. I can't show it to you. 92 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,080 I mean, I couldn't open it if I wanted to. 93 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,680 I don't have clearance. 94 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,200 You'd have to be a throne or a dominion, or above. 95 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,680 - How did you do that? - I haven't always been a demon, 96 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,440 and they never change their passwords. 97 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,240 Go on, you idiots. Get them! 98 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,080 They aren't gonna keep walking into the circle forever. 99 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,760 Even demons aren't that stupid. 100 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,000 So, what's your plan? 101 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,360 Well, that was it. I didn't have another bit. 102 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,720 Uh... this way, quickly. 103 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:30,880 Why do they keep blowing up? 104 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,800 Well, it's all a bit complicated. The circle, it's a gateway, 105 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,120 but if you step into it and you aren't prepared, 106 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,440 it can discorporate you completely. 107 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,480 Does what you say make sense in your head? 108 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,120 Stop where you are! 109 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,200 And so... 110 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,080 it ends. 111 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,160 Everything ends. 112 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,760 Time and the world 113 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,480 is over, 114 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,720 and we begin eternity... 115 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,880 forever and ever. 116 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,160 Amen. 117 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,760 - Amen. - Amen. 118 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,000 Nah. 119 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:10,880 Nah? 120 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,760 Yep. 121 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:14,640 Nah. 122 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:19,040 Nah to the final victory of Heaven on Earth? 123 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,120 Sorry, just not seeing it this time. 124 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,240 Pass. 125 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:27,640 And may I ask why you're not seeing it? 126 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,480 Surely. 127 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,320 - Why? - I told you you could ask. 128 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:36,120 However, I am the only first-order archangel in the room, 129 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,200 or, you know, the universe, 130 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,880 so I'm not gonna answer so much. 131 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,600 But you feel free to knock yourself out with all the asking. 132 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,000 Anyway, Armageddon the sequel, 133 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,520 that's a nah. 134 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,040 What's next on the agenda? 135 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,520 - The cleaning roster. - Okay! 136 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:55,720 What have you got? 137 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,600 I think we've struck gold. 138 00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,640 Push! 139 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,040 - It's working! - Well, yeah! 140 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,880 There's even more fire extinguishers up here. 141 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,040 Why all the fire extinguishers? 142 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,080 Uh, well, there was a fire here once, you see. 143 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,880 And, um... well, books can go up like... 144 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,240 - Well, anyway... - Brilliant 145 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,760 Got any of that spray foam? 146 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:48,200 So, Gabriel refused point blank to entertain another Armageddon? 147 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,840 Doesn't sound like him at all. 148 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:51,880 Any idea why not? 149 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,880 Not yet. They had a sort of trial. 150 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,040 It was a real trial. It didn't take long, though. 151 00:10:58,800 --> 00:10:59,800 Hello, Crowley. 152 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,240 I didn't expect to ever see you again. 153 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,280 Do we know each other? 154 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,800 When you were an angel. 155 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,960 We worked together on the Horsehead Nebula. 156 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,120 I meet a lot of people. 157 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:16,640 Muriel, you're the last person I'd expect to see collaborating with the enemy. 158 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:17,760 - Oh. - Um... 159 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,320 I suppose, from some points of view, this could look bad, 160 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,600 - but I did arrest him. - No, you didn't. 161 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,040 Well, don't let me interrupt you. Go on. 162 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,280 Show him the trial. 163 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,080 Shax, I charge you to leave this place, 164 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,440 with all your people, 165 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,360 and to jolly well hurry up about it, 166 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,920 or I'm going to have to take 167 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,320 severe measures. 168 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,280 Aziraphale, what are you? 169 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,880 Crowley's emotional support angel? 170 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,600 The softest touch. The one who went native. 171 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,520 Do you need more big human meals, Aziraphale? 172 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,640 Shall we send up the sushi? 173 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,920 Give us Gabriel. 174 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,880 Give him to us now. 175 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,200 - Sometimes people call me Gabriel. - Shh. 176 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,320 And tell that moron 177 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,120 to stop interrupting. 178 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,096 Jim, go... go to your room. You'll be safer there. 179 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,120 Okay. Good night. Does anybody want any hot chocolate? 180 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,240 - No. - Go. 181 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,520 Gabriel, Supreme Archangel, 182 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,800 you have refused to exercise your celestial authority 183 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,680 and you are henceforth removed from office. 184 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,200 I see. You're casting me down to Hell. 185 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,200 Well, I accept my fate. 186 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,440 Sometimes an angel just has to say, 187 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,720 "Guys, enough." 188 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,120 - Even though... - No speeches, Gabriel. 189 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,440 You are not going to Hell. 190 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:15,680 For one prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness 191 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,240 makes a good story. 192 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:18,920 For it to happen twice, 193 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:23,600 makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem. 194 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:24,800 Which there isn't. 195 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,440 Which, needless to say, there isn't. 196 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,160 You will, I am sure you'll be glad to learn, 197 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,040 remain an angel. 198 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,040 Although, as a kindness, 199 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:38,080 your memory of your time as Gabriel will be erased. 200 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,880 You will be demoted 201 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,200 to junior recording angel, 202 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,760 38th class. 203 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,240 Oh, that's pretty good, actually. I'm 37th class. 204 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,360 I didn't know that there was one down. 205 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,120 I see. Well, all good things. 206 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,240 Uh, just one thing. These clothes are tailored. 207 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:58,600 Can I keep wearing them? 208 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:02,000 Appropriate raiment will be provided for you, Gabriel. 209 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,840 - These clothes? - Are not appropriate. 210 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,000 Got it. Well, I'll just need to take off my clothes and clean out my desk, then. 211 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,360 - You have a desk? - Yes, I do. 212 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,640 I'll just need a... 213 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000 I'll be right back. 214 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,320 - Can we throw books at them? - I'd rather you didn't. 215 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,120 Obviously no fiction, but encyclopedias? 216 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,000 - It's all online these days anyway. - Oh, if you must. 217 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,320 Ah! 218 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,160 Ah! 219 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,880 {\an8}What? What's he... 220 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,080 Doors opening. 221 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,200 - He dropped it! - Doors closing. 222 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:19,840 Going down. 223 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,560 What's keeping him? 224 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,160 I believe he's taking off his clothes and cleaning out his desk. 225 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,600 Uriel, he doesn't have a desk. 226 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,920 I don't trust him. Can we begin the memory wipe now? 227 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,320 What, without him here? 228 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,800 - Good idea. - Right. 229 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,520 I can't... I can't find his memory anywhere. 230 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,640 In fact, I can't find him in the building. 231 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,120 He's left Heaven. 232 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,400 - Should I sound an alert? - Oh, don't be so wet. 233 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,080 No, you're all just going to have to find him. That's all. 234 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:07,320 Stop lollygagging, you cowards. Get back up those stairs. 235 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,016 Fire extinguishers have all been emptied, and we're out of encyclopedias. 236 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,600 We can't... We can't stop them. 237 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,520 What do we do? 238 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,960 Desperate measures must be taken. 239 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,920 I haven't done this since the Great War. 240 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,160 It's something we're only meant to do when we're actually 241 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,760 on a wartime... footing. 242 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,400 What did you just do? 243 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,200 I think... 244 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,560 I may have just started a war. 245 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,280 What just happened? 246 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,560 I think your friend just declared war on Hell. 247 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,320 This could get very messy. 248 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,480 Ugh, right, come on! Let's get back there. 249 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,760 You too. 250 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,000 Funny old world, isn't it? 251 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:04,440 Hello? 252 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,080 Anybody here? 253 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,240 You came back. 254 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,480 What did you do to them all? 255 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,080 I did the thing with the halo. 256 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,080 - You what? - I did the thing with the halo. 257 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,000 You... You blew up your halo? 258 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,800 Ooh, Hell won't like that. 259 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,680 We are at war! Finally! 260 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,680 Nobody's at war. 261 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:45,920 You idiots sent an idiot to lead a gang of idiots to attack a bookshop. 262 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,400 Those idiots there want their archangel back so they can fire him. 263 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,080 Nice job, Shax. 264 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,400 Beautifully done. 265 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,320 Remind me to put in for your commendation. 266 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,760 - Sarcasm, yes? - Yep. 267 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,400 I'm afraid so. 268 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,320 - If it is to be war... - No, no, no, no, no war. 269 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,760 Aziraphale, let's sort this out. Where's the cardboard box? 270 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,080 - What box? - The one Gabriel arrived with. 271 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,560 Gabriel? He's here? 272 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:32,200 - Sometimes people call me Gabriel. - Yeah, we did a thing... hiding miracle. 273 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,080 Apparently, if we do a miracle together, it all works a bit too well. 274 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,560 - Careful. Could be a trap. - It's a cardboard box. 275 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,800 It's not going to bite you. 276 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,680 Oh, there we go. I thought that's what you were doing. 277 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,800 - What was I doing? - You were writing a message. 278 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,240 Oh, probably to yourself, on the bottom of the box. 279 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,720 "I am in the fly." 280 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,080 What fly? 281 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:04,720 Lord Beelzebub, 282 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,840 I believe flies are your department. 283 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,520 Mm. 284 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,880 There's only one fly here, and it's familiar. 285 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,640 Come here. Come on. 286 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,400 Good boy. 287 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,440 No wonder nobody could find you. 288 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,480 This is where you were keeping all your memories. 289 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,240 All your... you. 290 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,800 Look at you. 291 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,400 You're perfect. 292 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:41,880 Here. 293 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:43,920 Take it. 294 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,800 Gently. 295 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,200 Now... 296 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,080 open it. 297 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:15,000 How I am supposed to get ten million angels to stand down 298 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,200 from their war footing is... 299 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,000 It doesn't bear thinking about. 300 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,720 You should try to get ten million demons 301 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,200 to put down their weapons and go back to work. 302 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,520 Well, at least we know whose fault it is! 303 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,440 You can't sit there, I'm waiting for someone. 304 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,080 - You're waiting for me. - I don't think so. 305 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:42,320 New face. 306 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,560 I had the old one for 6,000 years. I just thought it was time for a change. 307 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,920 - I don't know who you are. - Come on, it's me. 308 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,320 Beelzebub. Lord of the Flies. 309 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:53,680 Watch. 310 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,920 - There you go. - Why did you wanna meet me here? 311 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,680 Well, if we're gonna have background talks, 312 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,000 they can't be in either of our home territories. 313 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,200 And what do we need to discuss? 314 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:09,960 Arma-bloody-geddon. 315 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,720 That was a complete and utter pain in the ass. 316 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,920 - I know, but we are ready for round two. - As are we. 317 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,600 Utterly ready. Armageddon, here we come. 318 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,960 Arma-bloody-geddon. Arma-bloody-geddon. 319 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,480 Ah. 320 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,440 - Well, you lost. - So did you. 321 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,240 - No, we didn't. - Well, you didn't win. 322 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,960 Tell me about it. 323 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,136 Everyone in Heaven is all like, "Well, you're the commander-in-chief, 324 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,296 can't you just make the war happen anyway?" Like, I make the rules. 325 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,240 That's exactly what my lot said. 326 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,320 Well, 327 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,800 it's good to know there's someone who understands. Thank you. 328 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,560 It's a pity we'll never speak again. 329 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,360 I have a proposal to make. 330 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,960 Instead of Armageddon, what about... 331 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,040 no Armageddon? 332 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,040 An interesting proposal. 333 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:08,920 No Armageddon. 334 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:11,920 They won't like that, though. 335 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,120 Most of my demons live for Armageddon, if you can call that living. 336 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,040 Well, my angels too. But you can't always get what you... 337 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:20,240 live for. 338 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,600 Advantages to no Armageddon? 339 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,920 We keep the status quo, static and, um, quo-ey. 340 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,240 - No one can ever know, of course. - Of course. 341 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:34,840 A deal? 342 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:37,200 Mm. 343 00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:44,280 I like this song. 344 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,000 Song? 345 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,560 - The music that's playing now. - What music? 346 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,080 The noise. 347 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,640 That's music? 348 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,080 I like it. 349 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,960 Contains information in a tuneful way. 350 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,120 Every day something is getting closer. 351 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,400 Then, um... Then I also like it. 352 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,800 ♪ Love like yours Will surely come my way ♪ 353 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,160 ♪ A-hey, a-hey, hey ♪ 354 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:20,480 ♪ Love like yours Will surely come my way ♪ 355 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,320 So... 356 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,480 agreement concluded. 357 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,200 No need to ever meet again, is there? 358 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,240 None whatsoever. 359 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:46,960 Let there be light. 360 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,480 I think the sculptor really caught something. 361 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,080 The shape of the head. 362 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,120 Beautiful. Really moving. 363 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,720 It's a very good likeness. 364 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,360 Sometimes I come here for hours and just... 365 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:02,440 look at it. 366 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,800 Right. Shall we go to the pub? 367 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:20,080 Two goblets of your intoxicating liquor, please. And, uh... 368 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:21,920 - Packet of crisps. - Very good, sir. 369 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,320 Which liquor would that be? 370 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:28,600 Whichever one it is you humans usually orally consume. 371 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,760 Two pints of regular, then. 372 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:38,360 What's that? 373 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,080 A classic 1960s jukebox. 374 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,760 You don't see many of them these days. 375 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,080 You just put your money in and tell it what you want to hear. 376 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,160 Oh... 377 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:49,920 You people. 378 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:51,760 Amazing. 379 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:57,560 Ha! 380 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,720 ♪ Everyday it's a-gettin' closer ♪ 381 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,240 ♪ Goin' faster than a roller coaster ♪ 382 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:09,600 ♪ Love like yours will surely come my way... ♪ 383 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:11,520 Here you go. 384 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,240 - You don't actually have to consume. - Oh. 385 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,560 - And the... - Oh, packet of crisps? Good. 386 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:24,480 ♪ ...yours will surely come my way ♪ 387 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,160 Is that... Did you... 388 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:29,960 - A small miracle. - Oh. 389 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,200 That song will always be there on that jukebox, 390 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,600 - to comfort the afflicted. - Mmm. 391 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:40,840 I should give you something. 392 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,880 Here. It's for you. 393 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,120 You never know when you'll need it. 394 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,320 It's a container, so... 395 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,760 it's bigger on the inside. You can put things in it. 396 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,600 Bye-bye. 397 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,520 I don't actually know what to say. 398 00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:16,520 Why not? 399 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,360 No one's ever given me anything before. 400 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,320 ♪ ...seems a little longer ♪ 401 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,800 ♪ Every way, love's a little... ♪ 402 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:45,600 Aziraphale. 403 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,520 Michael, Uriel. 404 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,360 - Don't tell me. - I won't. 405 00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,160 - It's Saraqael! - Saraqael! 406 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,320 Yes, I knew that. Of course it is 407 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:04,960 Oh, eesh. 408 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:06,840 You guys. 409 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:10,760 You. 410 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,560 Thank you. 411 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,280 Silly, silly angel. 412 00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:19,360 Why? 413 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,760 I was coming to you, but... 414 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,040 I... 415 00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:27,440 forgot. 416 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,320 Well, I think Aziraphale probably took much better care of you 417 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:33,720 than I could've done. 418 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:34,840 Beelzebub! 419 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,360 You traitor! 420 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,160 Collaborating with Heaven? 421 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,440 I didn't collaborate with Heaven 422 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,600 any more than Gabriel collaborated with Hell. 423 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,960 I just found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides. 424 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,160 That's really sweet. 425 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,560 - Enough to make you believe in true love. - Mortals? 426 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,040 What are mortals doing here? Someone turn them into pillars of salt. 427 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:06,720 - Saraqael. - I'm on it. 428 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,120 That... That won't be necessary. I'll see to this. 429 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,960 Maggie, Nina, you come with me. 430 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:13,720 You got this? 431 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,040 Oh, um, absolutely, yes. 432 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,520 Just don't, uh, tell anybody about any of this. 433 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,640 Not that anyone would ever believe a word of it. 434 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,600 Oh, God, I should've been open half an hour ago. 435 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,560 How can you think about that after all this? 436 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,800 People need coffee, I sell coffee, it's my coffee shop. 437 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,056 - I should be open by now. - Right, nice knowing you both. 438 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,080 Let's say goodbye forever 439 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,920 and pretend none of this ever happened, yeah? 440 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,680 Oh. Some of us have been working all night, you know. 441 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:49,640 Where did you come from? 442 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:54,640 I don't remember. 443 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,560 Good call. Never tell them how it's done, 444 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,320 unless they pay you for it first. Here, pick a card. 445 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,240 I'm going to my shop, to sleep behind the counter. 446 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,000 Unless you'd like some help? 447 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,496 Could you nip down the mini mart and pick me up some cream, 448 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,360 oat milk, soy milk, and almond milk? 449 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:16,800 Mm. I'm on it. 450 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:23,840 I can't hear you. 451 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,920 Can we have... Please, can we have a... 452 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,480 I've had quite enough of this. 453 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:37,760 You will speak one at a time. 454 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:46,080 I demand that you handover both Gabriel and Beelzebub 455 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,440 as gifts for Satan, our master. 456 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,120 He won't want them. 457 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,440 Maybe as hors d'oeuvres. 458 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,000 And I demand you hand them over to us, 459 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,960 to face celestial punishment. 460 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,120 Obviously we would be reserving the option 461 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,280 to send them both to Hell as our punishment. 462 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,280 But we'd be the ones doing it. 463 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,040 Why don't we ask them 464 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,040 where they'd like to go? 465 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,600 Oh, this is ridiculous. 466 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,480 No, there are precedents. 467 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,280 Hell doing Heaven's punishing for you. 468 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,040 Job, that was one. Lovely man, never met him. 469 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,120 Um, Gabriel, 470 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,000 Beelzebub, 471 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,480 what do you want? 472 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,600 I would like... 473 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,000 better clothes, 474 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,320 and I would like to be with Beelzebub. 475 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,200 Wherever Beelzebub is... is my Heaven. 476 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:35,320 Mm-hmm. 477 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,320 And where you are, my sweet, is forever my Hell. 478 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,920 You know, Alpha Centauri's nice. 479 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,160 Always wanted to go there. 480 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,640 Couple of decent planets. No nightlife to speak of. 481 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,000 If you leave, 482 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,480 you can never come back. 483 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,400 - That would be the point. - If you flee, 484 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,800 traitor, 485 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,360 Hell will send all its legions to hunt you down. 486 00:31:56,440 --> 00:32:00,840 You know as well as I do how badly understaffed Hell is right now. 487 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,200 Anyway, with me not there, Shax, 488 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,800 you could be the next Grand Duke of Hell. 489 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,600 Grand Duke of Hell. 490 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,880 Angels and Demons, they can't just... 491 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:16,000 ♪ Everyday, it's a-getting closer ♪ 492 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:20,560 ♪ Going faster than a rollercoaster ♪ 493 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,880 ♪ Love like yours will ♪ 494 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,760 ♪ Surely come my way ♪ 495 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,680 ♪ A-hey, a-hey-hey ♪ 496 00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,440 Ah, if you're going back to Hell, can I get my flat back? 497 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,800 - Who the hell cares? - I care! 498 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,520 I'm bored of living in my car. 499 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,240 And I don't think my car's much of a fan of it either. 500 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,160 I believe the Dark Council 501 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,720 will have something to say about all this nonsense. 502 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,960 Well, I'm sure they'll be thrilled that the mighty Shax 503 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,000 has uncovered a traitor in our midst. 504 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,840 Let's find out, shall we? 505 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,840 Order accurately and fast. I haven't slept in 30 hours 506 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,400 and I will not hesitate to mock you if I don't like your order. 507 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,800 Yes, I quite understand. 508 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:16,080 I'd like a... 509 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,400 large oat milk latte 510 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,680 with a dash of almond syrup, please. 511 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:24,680 Coming up. 512 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,760 Do people ever ask for death? 513 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:28,920 What? 514 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,640 Well, the name of your establishment, "Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death." 515 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,760 I assume they always ask for coffee. 516 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:37,920 They don't ever ask for death, no. 517 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,880 No, I don't suppose they do. 518 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:42,480 So predictable. 519 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,960 I am authorized to remove the name of anyone 520 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,400 who helped Gabriel from the Book of Life. 521 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,360 You will never have existed, Aziraphale. 522 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:53,896 In the absence of Gabriel, 523 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,320 - I am the Supreme Archangel. - Duty officer. 524 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,120 - And I... - Excuse me, I'm sorry, 525 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,160 I must interrupt you there. 526 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:01,880 Um... 527 00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,520 Oh, and I've brought over a coffee. 528 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,960 I don't believe I asked for any interruptions. 529 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:10,560 I couldn't help it. You're talking utter balderdash. 530 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,160 I mean, complete piffle! 531 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,800 You don't have the authority to do anything like that. 532 00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:17,840 Um, and who are you? 533 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,160 For Heaven's sake. 534 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:24,080 And I mean that most literally. You don't know me? 535 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,640 Well, uh, what about you, Demon? Do you know me? 536 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,280 - Get him out of here! - Really? 537 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:32,760 Oh, I know you. 538 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,160 Last time I saw you, you were a big, floating giant head, man. 539 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:37,960 Oh! 540 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:39,880 The Metatron. 541 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:41,136 Correct! 542 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,600 This calls much less attention, though. 543 00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:48,040 Right, you, you, you, back to Heaven, spit, spot, not another word. 544 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,920 Ah-ah-ah! Not you. 545 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:55,160 Um... Your... Your Reverence, your... 546 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,080 - You Grace, your... - Oh, come on, spit it out. 547 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,040 Have we done anything wrong? 548 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,880 Well, that remains to be seen, does it not? 549 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,480 Well, go on, off you go, the lot of you! 550 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,440 Except the dim one. 551 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,440 I may need you. 552 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:19,680 Right. 553 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,680 It's just you and me, Aziraphale, eh? 554 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,640 I think we need to have a bit of a chinwag, 555 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:29,800 don't you? 556 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,120 I don't believe there's anything left to be said. 557 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,960 I've made my position quite clear. 558 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,120 Yeah, well, I brought you a coffee from the shop. 559 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,960 It's an oat milk latte 560 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,880 with a hefty jigger of almond syrup. 561 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,880 - You brought me a coffee? - Are you going to take it? 562 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,480 - Shall I? - Drink it? 563 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:53,320 Of course. 564 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,040 I've ingested things in my time, you know. 565 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,760 It's... It's very nice. 566 00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:02,840 Yes, I should jolly well hope so. 567 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,920 Well, we have things to talk about. 568 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,120 Shall we take a little stroll? 569 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:09,160 Um... 570 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:12,080 Mm. Go on. They can't get any weirder. 571 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,040 Oh. 572 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:34,640 You should leave now too. 573 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,040 The Metatron told me to wait. 574 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:40,800 He said he might need me. 575 00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,160 Me! He might need me. 576 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:45,640 Marvelous. Have a gold star. 577 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,600 - They'll be back soon. - Yes. 578 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:52,160 When Aziraphale does come back, I think we need a little us time. 579 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,480 After all this, I think we are going for 580 00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:01,840 an extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz. 581 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,040 Brilliant idea! 582 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,160 Breakfast. Us time. 583 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,160 Just us. Not you. 584 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,320 Oh. Oh, right, yes. 585 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,800 I can, um, explore the bookshop. 586 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,120 Um... you need to go. 587 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,080 Can I... Can I take a book with me? 588 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,320 I was looking at one earlier. 589 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,480 They're like people, only portable. 590 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,640 Go for it. Here, you'll like this one. 591 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,760 - No, it won't do any good. - It doesn't matter. 592 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,680 We have to tell them. 593 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,040 Fine. 594 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,560 Anyone wants anything, tell 'em we'll be back in five minutes. 595 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,280 Okay. 596 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:19,160 Tidied up. 597 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,800 Where's the other one? We need to talk to you. 598 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:25,040 - He's out. Not a good time. - I wasn't asking. 599 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:26,480 There are things you need to hear. 600 00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:30,600 You and your... partner have been messing about in our lives. 601 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,400 We're not a game. We're real people. 602 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,160 You can't just pair us up for your amusement. 603 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,400 You were crying and Nina needed rescuing and... 604 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,000 My relationship just ended. 605 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,000 I am not ready to start another one yet. 606 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,320 I'd just be a rebound mess. 607 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:46,960 I can't start seeing Maggie. 608 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,680 When I'm ready, I hope she'll be there, but there isn't any guarantee. 609 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:53,760 - There is. - You're not helping, angel. 610 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:55,840 Look at you two. 611 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,480 You're the hard bitten one, the can't trust anyone ever again, 612 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,640 and Mr. Wherever He Is is the soft one who still believes in magic 613 00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:04,600 and people being basically good and all that. 614 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,400 Why are you telling me all this? I don't understand. 615 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:09,160 That's why she's telling you. 616 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:10,960 Because you don't understand. 617 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:15,360 Because you and Mr. Fell don't ever talk to each other. 618 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,000 We talk all the time! 619 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,640 We've been talking for millions of years. 620 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:22,600 Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla. 621 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,560 I say something brilliant, he says something 622 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,400 unintentionally funny back. It's great. 623 00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,960 You never say what you're really thinking. 624 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,280 That was all we needed. 625 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,840 It's what you two need as well. 626 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,160 Well, you don't have to answer immediately. 627 00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,640 Take all the time you need. 628 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,640 I... I don't know what to say. 629 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,640 Well then, go and tell your friend the good news. 630 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,480 - We're just going. - I'm sure you two have a lot to say. 631 00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,160 What's that you're holding, Muriel? 632 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:29,520 A book. 633 00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,280 It's called a book. 634 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,880 I'm "reading" a book. 635 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,360 Excellent! 636 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,480 What a perfectly splendid thing to do! 637 00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,120 Is it? 638 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:44,440 Oh. Yes. Jolly good. 639 00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:50,880 Look, I suppose, um... 640 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,120 I've got something to say. 641 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,160 I know we ought to be talking about... 642 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,016 It's probably best if I start off doing all the talking, 643 00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,096 you do all the listening, 'cause if I don't start talking now, 644 00:40:58,120 --> 00:40:59,800 I won't ever start talking, right? 645 00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:01,816 - Yes, so... - What's that lovely human expression? 646 00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,320 Oh, yes! Hold that thought. 647 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:05,680 You see, I... 648 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,560 I have some incredibly good news to give you. 649 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,920 - Really? - I... um... 650 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,640 So, um... 651 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,600 the Metatron, you know, I don't think he's as bad a fellow... 652 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,960 Well, I think I might've misjudged him. 653 00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:24,920 You see, I... Well, he said, um, 654 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,800 that Gabriel 655 00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,080 obviously hadn't worked out... 656 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,640 as Supreme Archangel and Commander of the Heavenly Host, 657 00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,280 and he asked who I thought should take over in Heaven 658 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,840 now that Gabriel was gone. 659 00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:37,920 And I said... 660 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:42,200 - Michael? - Oh, don't be silly! No, no, no, no, no. 661 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:46,200 There's only one candidate who makes even the slightest bit of sense. 662 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,280 And that's you. 663 00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,840 And I said, "Me?" 664 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:53,440 And he said... 665 00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,360 Well, yes. You're a leader, 666 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,600 you're honest, you don't just tell people what they want to hear. 667 00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:02,960 It's why Gabriel came to you in the first place, I imagine. 668 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:07,400 There are huge plans afoot, enormous projects, 669 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,320 and I will need you to run them. 670 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,160 You are just the angel for the job. 671 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,600 I... I don't want to go back to Heaven. 672 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,080 Where would I get my coffee? 673 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,040 You know, as Supreme Archangel, 674 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,480 you would be able to decide who to work with. 675 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:31,160 Yeah, I've been looking back over a number of your... 676 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,400 previous exploits, and I see that in quite a few of them 677 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,400 you formed a de facto partnership 678 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:39,760 with the demon Crowley. 679 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,960 Now, if you wanted to work with him again, that... 680 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,680 might be considered irregular, 681 00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,880 but it would certainly be within your jurisdiction 682 00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,800 to restore your friend, Crowley, 683 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,600 to full angelic status. 684 00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:57,760 He said what? 685 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,000 He said I could appoint you 686 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,000 to be an angel. 687 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,320 You could come back to Heaven and... 688 00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:08,480 and everything, 689 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:10,600 like the old times. 690 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,600 Only, even nicer. 691 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:15,840 Right. 692 00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,520 And you told him just where he could stick it, then? 693 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:23,680 Not at all. 694 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:27,040 Oh, we're better than that, you're better than that, Angel! 695 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,160 You don't need them. I certainly don't need them! 696 00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,600 Look, they asked me back to Hell, I said no. 697 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:33,920 I'm not gonna be joining their team. Neither should you. 698 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:35,800 But... Well, obviously you said no to Hell, 699 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:36,920 you're the bad guys. 700 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:39,000 But Heaven... 701 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,560 Well, it's the side of truth, of light, 702 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:45,800 of good. 703 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,360 When Heaven ends life here on Earth, 704 00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,800 it'll be just as dead as if Hell ended it. 705 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,200 Tell me you said no. 706 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,520 Tell me you said no. 707 00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:07,880 If I'm in charge... 708 00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:10,840 I can make a difference. 709 00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:13,400 Oh. 710 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,960 Oh, God. Right, okay. 711 00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:17,816 Right. I didn't get a chance to say what I was going to say, 712 00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:19,000 I think I'd better say it now 713 00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,400 Right, okay, yes, so... 714 00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:27,360 We've known each other a long time. 715 00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,680 We've been on this planet for a long time. I mean, you and me. 716 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,240 I could always rely on you. 717 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,680 You could always rely on me. We're a team, a group. 718 00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:39,560 Group of the two of us. 719 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,800 And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't. 720 00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:49,960 I mean, the last few years, not really. 721 00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:57,320 And I would like to spend... 722 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,520 I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub 723 00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,040 can do it, go off together, then we can. 724 00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,320 Just the two of us. We don't need Heaven, 725 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,560 we don't need Hell, they're toxic. 726 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,640 We need to get away from them, just be an us. 727 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,800 - You and me, what do you say? - Come with me... 728 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,360 to Heaven. I'll run it, you can be my second in command. 729 00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:23,880 We can make a difference. 730 00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:26,920 You can't leave this bookshop. 731 00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,120 Oh, Crowley. 732 00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:33,680 Nothing lasts forever. 733 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:38,040 No. 734 00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,520 No, I don't suppose it does. 735 00:45:46,240 --> 00:45:47,240 Good luck. 736 00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:50,400 Good luck? Crowley! 737 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:51,840 Crowley, come back, 738 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:53,640 to Heaven! 739 00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:56,400 Work with me! 740 00:45:58,360 --> 00:45:59,560 We can be together! 741 00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:01,160 Angels... 742 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:03,680 doing good! 743 00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,200 I... I need you! 744 00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:15,360 I don't think you understand what I'm offering you. 745 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:16,680 I understand. 746 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,080 I think I understand a whole lot better than you do. 747 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,080 Well... 748 00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:27,040 then there's nothing more to say. 749 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,040 Listen. 750 00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:32,960 Do you hear that? 751 00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:36,360 I don't hear anything. 752 00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:38,840 That's the point. 753 00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:41,440 No nightingales. 754 00:46:45,240 --> 00:46:46,440 You idiot. 755 00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,200 We could have been... us. 756 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:14,680 I... 757 00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:20,360 I forgive you. 758 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:26,520 Don't bother. 759 00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:48,200 How did he take it? 760 00:47:50,240 --> 00:47:52,320 Um, not well. 761 00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,360 Ah, well, always did want to go his own way. 762 00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:59,080 Always asking damn fool questions, too. 763 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,240 Right, ready to start? 764 00:48:03,240 --> 00:48:04,240 I... 765 00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:06,840 But, um... 766 00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:09,600 my bookshop. 767 00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:12,480 Yes, well, for now 768 00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,960 I've entrusted it to Muriel, 769 00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:16,960 so it should be in good hands. 770 00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:19,760 But... 771 00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,840 Anything you need to take with you? 772 00:48:26,720 --> 00:48:27,720 No. 773 00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:29,800 Nothing I can think of. 774 00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:31,960 Ah. 775 00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:37,320 I think I... 776 00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,400 Nothing at all. 777 00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:57,000 Well, I can't think of a better angel 778 00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:58,800 to wrap things up, 779 00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:00,800 and to set into motion 780 00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,600 the next step in the great plan. 781 00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:05,840 Um, yes, you mentioned that. 782 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:07,440 Can I know what it is? 783 00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:11,000 Well, it's something we need an angel of your talents to direct. 784 00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:14,960 An angel who is familiar with how they do things on Earth. 785 00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:17,720 - Ah. - We call it the Second Coming. 786 00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,880 Doors closing. Going up. 787 00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:21,080 ♪ A nightingale sang ♪ 788 00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:25,720 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪ 56730

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