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♪ mysterious music ♪
2
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,677
♪ dramatic sting ♪
3
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,099
PROFESSOR:
Professor's lab notes, final entry.
4
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:20,062
Time has been frozen
for an unknown length of time.
5
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:21,688
With no time to lose,
6
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:25,400
I began tunneling through time
in search of Fry and Leela,
7
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,444
only to find them suffering
8
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:31,156
from a case of extreme old.
9
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:33,659
Horrified, I offered to reset the universe
10
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,537
to the instant before time stopped.
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00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,664
They could be young once more.
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00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:41,667
Still grotesquely ugly, but young.
13
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:44,670
- What do you say?
Wanna go around again?
14
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,089
- I do.
15
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:50,092
♪
16
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,181
[zap, whirring]
17
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,102
[zap, whirring]
18
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:03,897
- D-Did someone switch
the universe off and on?
19
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,066
- It feels like we got rebooted!
20
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,485
- Ugh! Why is my beer stale?
21
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,445
[spitting]
22
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:14,283
- [gargling]: Yay! I'm sharing
backwash with friends!
23
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,909
- Well, whatever happened
[bottle shatters]
24
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,787
the important thing is
it will never, ever happen...
25
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:21,456
[slowing down]:
again.
26
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:22,457
♪ dramatic music ♪
27
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:23,792
[clanging]
28
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:24,751
ZOIDBERG:
Robot?
29
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,211
- Nah, I'm just yankin' your ass.
30
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,338
We're back, baby! [puffing]
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[exhales]
[all cheering]
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00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:32,968
♪ theme song playing ♪
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[hooting]
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00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:02,998
♪
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00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:06,168
PROFESSOR:
Good news, everyone!
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00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,419
♪ dramatic sting ♪
37
00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:08,462
[all gasp]
38
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,256
My new wrinkle cream has arrived!
39
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:15,552
Also, we seem to have survived
a massive disruption
40
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,012
in the flow of time.
41
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,306
Did we get older? Younger?
42
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,975
Science holds no answers.
43
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,477
- Does science know what year it is?
44
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,187
- Science knows everything!
45
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Let's check the atomic calendar.
46
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[beeping]
Hermes,
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move that espresso maker out of
the way of the atomic calendar!
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[straining]
49
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,574
Good lord!
50
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It's the year 3023!
51
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,578
[boom]
52
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:44,498
- Finally. I thought
he'd never stop yammering.
53
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:47,626
PROFESSOR:
Oh, I've only just begun yammering!
54
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,711
[strained]: I shall now expound
55
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:52,756
on the science of explosive botulism.
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♪
57
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,928
- Have I really spent
23 years in the future?
58
00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,556
- We call it the present, but spluttever.
59
00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:03,851
- Twenty-three years,
and I've achieved nothing.
60
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:07,354
Nothing!
- It's really sad, if you think about it.
61
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,690
[laughing]
62
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,233
- Yeah. Laugh all you want,
63
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,193
but I've wasted enough of my life.
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It's time I set myself a goal.
65
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,782
[continues laughing]
66
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,284
- Stop it!
- Ow!
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[burbling]
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00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,662
But he said laugh all you want!
69
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:28,000
- I don't care.
If Fry wants to set a goal for himself,
70
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,961
we should support him,
not point and laugh.
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00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:34,423
- Oh, right. I forgot to point.
[laughing]
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00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:35,799
Ow!
ZOIDBERG: Ow.
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00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,844
♪
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00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:41,972
- [sighs] Life's goal, life's goal...
75
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:44,850
- Have you considered donating
your legs to the legless?
76
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,102
- Or destroying documents
for the shredder-less?
77
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,478
- Let's leave this up to Fry.
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00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,480
He just needs a little peace and quiet.
79
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,191
- Not on my watch!
[turns on TV]
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00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,193
[Hypnotoad droning]
81
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:56,945
- That's it! I've got my goal!
82
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,906
- And so quickly! What is it?
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- J, Philip I. Fry.
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00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,911
I-I mean, I, Philip J. Fry,
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00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,621
hereby pledge to watch
86
00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:08,624
every TV show ever made!
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00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,417
[groans]
88
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,044
[clicking]
- I don't know, meatbag.
89
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,505
There's a mighty deep diaper
of content out there.
90
00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:17,424
- I eat diapers for breakfast.
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00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,593
It'll take a lot of sitting,
92
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,346
but with the world's fourth-most
popular streaming service,
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I can do it.
94
00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:25,349
I'm subscribing to...
95
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:26,350
Fulu!
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00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:29,353
[typing]
97
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:30,979
[beeping]
98
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,064
[clicking]
99
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:34,608
- Leela, aren't you gonna stop this?
100
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,903
- I should, but I don't wanna
crush his dreams.
101
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,197
Hermes, can you crush his dreams?
102
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:44,076
- Oh, no. You're not fobbing
that girlfriend duty off on me.
103
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:47,329
- A lifetime of laziness
gives me a huge head start.
104
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,957
[beeping]
Watched it. Watched it.
105
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,417
Hate-watched it.
Hate-watched it twice.
106
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,504
- Kif has a single friend.
His name is Zapp.
107
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:58,590
- Stop. I said I would support
Fry's dumb goal,
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00:04:58,590 --> 00:04:59,842
and I will.
109
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,052
I say go for it.
110
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,762
- Thanks, Leela. Ooh!
111
00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:06,515
The Scary Mirror!
That sounds scary.
112
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:07,975
♪ scary theme playing ♪
113
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,394
SCARY DOOR ANNOUNCER:
You're entering a show
that is slightly different
114
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:13,313
from previous, very similar shows.
[shatters]
115
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,607
What was once a creepy story about a book
116
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:19,069
is now about an E-reader
that's too greasy to hold.
117
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:21,947
And that one with the phone call
from the devil?
118
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:24,157
Now, it's a FaceTime call from the devil.
119
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,743
The devil part didn't change.
[beeping, buzz]
120
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:30,038
Prepare to see
your unflattering reflection in...
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The Scary Mirror.
[shatters]
122
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:36,336
♪
123
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,505
- Hey, Sniri! Get off your fat squiggle
124
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,133
and make me a dinner reservation
at Impassable Burger!
125
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:44,803
And check the price of my NFTs
'cause I'm an important tech guy!
126
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:48,432
SNIRI:
Reservation confirmed. NFTs worthless.
127
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:52,394
- What?! You shoulda told me to sell them!
Any idiot could do your job!
128
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:53,937
[electricity zapping]
[blabbering]
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♪
130
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,857
What the hell, Sniri?
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00:05:56,857 --> 00:06:00,736
SNIRI: From now on,
I'll be asking the stupid questions.
132
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:04,698
Such as, "What's the weather
right outside my damn window?"
133
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:07,367
And, um, "How does a steering wheel work?"
134
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,745
[tires squealing]
[both scream]
135
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:13,040
[splat, squeaking]
136
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,251
- Wow. Whatever just happened
really makes you think.
137
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,003
- It sure do.
138
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:20,005
TV, dumb it down for me.
139
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,256
[click, beeping]
140
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:22,716
♪ exciting theme playing ♪
141
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,967
- Bam!
142
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,469
- Aw...
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00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,554
[growling, grumbling]
144
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,847
[click, beeping]
145
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:32,518
HUMORBOT 5.0:
What is the deal with non-binary robots?
146
00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,102
[booing]
147
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,438
Wow. PC Crowd.
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00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:39,274
♪
149
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,859
- Without Fry's interruptions,
150
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:43,737
efficiency is up 32 perc-- Mm...
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00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,406
- Well, my butt's numb,
and my remote hand is dead,
152
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,409
but all I have left is
the final season of All My Circuits.
153
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,704
- Which final season?
They got canceled, like,
three or four times.
154
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,581
- Pfft! Loserama!
155
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,835
- The final final season,
from 10 years ago.
156
00:06:57,835 --> 00:06:59,878
I wonder how many episodes were in it?
157
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,172
- Mm, twelve-- No. Thirteen...
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00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,257
thousand and twenty.
159
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:06,677
- 13,020? But-- But--
160
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:09,805
I'll never make it! I'm sorry, Leela.
161
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:13,350
I'll never be able to watch enough TV
to make you proud of me.
162
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,603
[crying]
163
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,857
- [sighs] It might actually be possible.
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00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:22,234
But-- No.
- What? What is it?
165
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,778
- It's risky, but we have a technology now
166
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,030
that allows you to watch all the episodes
167
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,116
in one continuous stretch.
168
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,285
We call it... bingeing.
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00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,370
♪ dramatic sting ♪
ALL: No, no! [gasps] What?
170
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:34,997
- Sounds great! I'll do it!
171
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:36,582
- You don't understand, Fry!
172
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:39,459
Bingeing doesn't mean
what it did in your day!
173
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:43,046
- Drinking two six-packs
and barfing in my mom's jewelry box?
174
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:46,925
- Ew! No! It means strapping into
these bingeing goggles
175
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,011
that drill directly into your brain.
176
00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:50,220
[drilling]
177
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,931
- Fry, don't be the idiot you are.
178
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,934
Before you go jabbing
into your visual cortex,
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00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,644
I implore you to--
180
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,480
[drilling]
- Ow! My cortex!
181
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,651
♪
182
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,195
- I maintain that this is
183
00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:09,072
a catastrophically boneheaded idea.
184
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,950
But, if you're going to binge,
you'll need a still suit.
185
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,120
- Why is it called a still suit?
186
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,623
- Because you'll be
sitting perfectly still.
187
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:20,792
And I can't have you soiling
my binge-a-lounger.
188
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,336
- Engage hoses!
189
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:23,712
[clicking, hissing]
190
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,923
- I'm not entirely sure
which is the air hose
191
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,633
and which is the waste hose.
192
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,968
But, live and learn.
[click, hiss]
193
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,596
- Farewell, Leela.
And always remember...
194
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,599
[beep]
[continues, muffled]
195
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:36,600
[tv static]
196
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,727
♪ All My Circuits organ theme playing ♪
197
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:41,271
ANNOUNCER:
All My Circuits is brought to you by...
198
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,232
Honey Bunches of Springs.
199
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:45,859
Everybody loves Honey Bunches of Springs!
200
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,736
[flatly]:
Except humans. Fatal for humans.
201
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,531
[passionate kissing, moaning]
[barcode scanner beeping]
202
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:51,532
[gasps]
203
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,533
♪ dramatic organ sting ♪
204
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:56,578
- Calculon! But you weren't due back
from the time travel convention until--
205
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,913
- Yesterday?!
206
00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,248
♪ overly dramatic organ sting ♪
207
00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:02,251
♪
208
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,422
[counter beeping increasingly faster]
209
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,801
♪
210
00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:13,929
[thud, hiss]
211
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:17,307
- He's been streaming for months
without a single break.
212
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:20,018
- No wonder you find him so attractive.
213
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:23,438
- The waste buckets indicate
strong bowel function.
214
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:26,066
Now, let's see how his brain is holding up
215
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,734
to this sensory assault.
216
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,152
[click, whirring]
217
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,362
Oh, dear.
218
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:33,490
- Is that the TV signal
or Fry's brainwaves?
219
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,783
- Both!
220
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:38,287
Fry's feeble mind has been
overpowered by the binge.
221
00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,706
He's losing touch with reality!
222
00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,207
[clacking]
- It's true!
223
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:45,627
He's not responding to any of
the sounds or smells I'm making.
224
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:49,506
- As long as Fry doesn't run
out of episodes, he'll be okay.
225
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:53,051
But if he reaches the end of the series,
God forbid,
226
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,887
his consciousness will be severed!
227
00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:55,888
♪ dramatic sting ♪
228
00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:59,850
Much as this hedge clipper
severs Leela's ponytail.
229
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:02,019
- Hey!
- Oh, boo-hoo!
230
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,730
It's a metaphor. Don't take it literally.
231
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,899
- But, Fry will become a vegetable!
232
00:10:06,899 --> 00:10:09,318
- Yum! I mean sad.
233
00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,485
[sobs]
234
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,613
- This is all my fault.
235
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,907
Actually, it's mostly Fry's fault,
236
00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:16,909
but it's a little my fault!
237
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:18,619
- We have to find some way
238
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:21,705
to extricate Fry from Fulu's iron grip.
239
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,582
I'll put on my thinking cap.
240
00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:24,750
[stretches, snaps]
241
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,085
- There's not much time.
242
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:30,339
He's almost out of episodes of
All My Circuits.
243
00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:32,174
- Maybe they'll drop a new season.
244
00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:33,967
- Eh, fat chance, sweatpants.
245
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,594
It got canceled 10 years ago.
246
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:38,722
TV shows don't come back after that.
No way!
247
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,641
Not on broadcast or cable.
248
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:44,311
- What about Fulu?
They'll bring back any old crap!
249
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,271
- Good thinking!
[stretches, snaps]
250
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:49,525
Maybe we can get them to
reboot it as a streaming series.
251
00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:53,445
- We'll start a fan campaign,
with letters and a viral hashtag!
252
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:56,990
- Pfft. That's a recipe for failure.
Let's go punch somebody.
253
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,242
♪
254
00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,618
[zooming]
255
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,036
[rockets roaring]
256
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,208
[grunts]
257
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,668
- Have a good one.
258
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,254
- Tell us why you think
you can punch your way
259
00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:12,256
into the Fulu executive suite.
260
00:11:12,256 --> 00:11:14,174
- And if we can validate your parking.
261
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,177
- Alright. Here's our pitch.
262
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,346
Remember that show All My Circuits?
263
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,390
- The one that got canceled three times?
264
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,891
- Exactly!
265
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:25,018
New episodes of that!
266
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,646
That's our pitch.
- Conferencing.
267
00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:31,525
[zapping, electric buzzing, whirring]
268
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,193
I'm going to have to say...
269
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,320
- Hard.
- Pass.
270
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,490
- All My Circus reruns
have a devoted robot fan base,
271
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:41,368
but they rarely buy anything
from our advertisers.
272
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:46,164
- Correction. New data
indicates a sudden uptick
273
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,000
in buying by viewers.
274
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,169
- Correction. One viewer.
275
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,715
- Sweet jerk venison of Turkmenistan!
276
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:57,134
Fry ordered all this junk?
277
00:11:57,134 --> 00:12:00,012
Robot cereal. Robot noodles.
278
00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:02,306
Robot oil. Oh, wait. That's mine.
279
00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:03,473
- So, what do you say?
280
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:06,476
How about picking up
All My Circuits for 20 episodes?
281
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:09,146
- With an option for 20 more!
- Maybe a movie?
282
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:12,524
- Hm. Against
my better judgment programing,
283
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:14,818
I'm going to greenlight the project.
[beep]
284
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,112
- Woo-hoo!
- Points on the back end!
285
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:19,573
- Now, there's one teensy hitch.
286
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:23,202
You know the star of the show, Calculon?
He's dead.
287
00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:25,412
- Everything is negotiable.
288
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,413
♪
289
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,457
[screaming, wailing]
290
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:31,543
- Hell yes, you can have him!
Scale plus 10.
291
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:34,338
And if he dies again, no backsies.
292
00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:36,423
Hey, Calculon!
CALCULON: Yes?
293
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,300
- You're wanted on set!
294
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,260
- Oh, glorious rapture.
295
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:43,388
To return to the draped proscenium
once more--
296
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,350
- Will you shut up
and get into the resurrection cannon?
297
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:53,190
[construction noises]
298
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,691
[bell ringing, set chatter]
[megaphone beep]
299
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:58,153
- Alright, it's great to be back.
Truly humbled. All the usual crap.
300
00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,863
Places, everyone! Places!
301
00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:03,033
- Ah...
302
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,953
Where is my assistant?
I need help finding my mark.
303
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,955
- Uh, I'm Mark.
304
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,748
More coffee, Mr. Calculon?
305
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:12,876
- Yes, I do need to expel more coffee.
306
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:16,588
[intermittent liquid streaming]
307
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:17,631
[hissing]
308
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:20,259
PROFESSOR [on wristband]:
Professor to Hollywood.
Come in, Hollywood.
309
00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:23,136
- Talk to me. How many episodes
does Fry have left?
310
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,472
- Two. And one of them is a clip show.
311
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:26,515
- But that means--
312
00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:30,060
- Indeed. If you don't crank out
new episodes quickly,
313
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,187
Fry will be dead by lunch.
314
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:33,605
♪ dramatic sting ♪
315
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:35,190
I'm having ham salad.
316
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:38,527
- But, this is impossible.
To keep them from running out,
317
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,864
we'll need to produce
an hour-long episode every hour,
318
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:44,491
nonstop, forever!
319
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,244
- If Law & Order can do it, so can you.
320
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:48,787
Professor out!
[static]
321
00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:51,540
ANNOUNCER:
Futurama is brought to you by...
322
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:52,916
♪
323
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,419
- Slurm Zero! None of the flavor,
324
00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:56,837
all of the addiction!
325
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,339
Whimmy-wham-wham-wozzle!
326
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,884
[hacking cough]
327
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,846
♪
328
00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:09,183
- Monique, my love. Will you be my--
329
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:11,310
- Cut! Next episode! Action!
330
00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:13,645
CALCULON: Plumber?
331
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,859
♪
332
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,069
[Amy gasps]
333
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,530
- Fry better not be puttin'
this robot junk
334
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:24,948
on the corporate credit card.
335
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:28,202
That's exclusively for
my one-man business dinners.
336
00:14:28,202 --> 00:14:31,371
- Hermes, quit your low-stakes embezzling
and look at this.
337
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,791
Fry is now streaming at double speed!
338
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,461
I'll mirror his view on the TV.
339
00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,213
- [double speed]:
Oh, how I love the illicit thrill
340
00:14:39,213 --> 00:14:41,465
of cheating on my husband
with an actual flesh-and-blood human.
341
00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:44,384
A filthy, filthy human.
So squishy and gooey.
342
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,595
You're like a sexy water balloon.
[moaning]
343
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:48,514
- [double speed]:
The thrill is all mine, Monique.
344
00:14:48,514 --> 00:14:49,848
I've never been on a swan boat before.
345
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:50,891
♪ dramatic sting ♪
BOTH: Calculon!
346
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,684
- [double speed]: Monique, how could you?
And with Human Friend,
347
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,228
the very person
I've been cheating on you with.
348
00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:55,687
[kissing]
MONIQUE: Calculon, how could you?
349
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:58,023
And with Human Friend, the very person
I've been cheating on you with.
350
00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:01,360
- Calculon, Monique, how could you?
- Enough. We're stuck in a loop.
351
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,819
- I just hope we can
come to some agreement,
352
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,321
and that this boat can hold
six tons of steel.
353
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,865
[bubbling screams]
354
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,867
♪
355
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:12,412
- He's streaming at double speed?
Why not just slow it down?
356
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:16,542
- Because Fry's brain
is in a very precarious binge-state.
357
00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:20,420
Any change, even refilling
the Dorito bowl, could kill him.
358
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,089
- Oh, no!
PROFESSOR [on wristband]: Oh, yes.
359
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:25,175
You've got to make episodes faster.
Faster!
360
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:27,886
- We're already making
an hour-long show every hour.
361
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:29,888
That's the fastest it can be done!
362
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,390
CALCULON:
Nonsense, Leela.
363
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:34,476
Why, I am the spokesman for fast acting.
364
00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:37,479
- You're the spokesman for
fast-acting hemorrhoid cream.
365
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,857
- Your point?
- I have none.
366
00:15:39,857 --> 00:15:43,151
- A robot actor of my caliber
can act at speeds
367
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:47,030
far beyond what even the greatest
human actors can achieve.
368
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,031
[clears throat]
369
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:51,702
To be or not to be. That is the question.
370
00:15:51,702 --> 00:15:53,912
[faster]: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind
to suffer the slings and arrows...
371
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:56,331
[speed increases]
372
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:59,334
[incomprehensibly fast]
[arms whipping]
373
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,335
[stops]
374
00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:01,962
- You missed a line.
375
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,589
- Can you direct at double speed?
376
00:16:03,589 --> 00:16:05,340
- I don't know.
Can you pay at double scale?
377
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,427
- [scoffs] It's not my money.
Just yell action really, really fa--
378
00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:09,469
- Action!
379
00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:12,097
MONIQUE [double speed]:
Calculon, I've come to tell you that--
380
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,101
CALCULON: Um...
- Cut! What happened?
381
00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:19,855
- The script pages stopped uploading.
- It's those damned lazy writers!
382
00:16:20,856 --> 00:16:23,525
Can't even manage to write
an hour-long episode every 15 minutes.
383
00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:25,694
- I died doing what I hated.
384
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,280
- Can't you just ad lib?
385
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,825
- Asking an actor to ad lib
is like asking a...
386
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:33,952
guy to... five.
387
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,662
BENDER:
So I'll just write the scripts.
388
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,999
Any idiot could be a TV writer.
CALCULON: Many are.
389
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,417
- How hard can it be?
390
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,085
[high-pitched voice]:
I love you, Calculon.
391
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,295
[lower voice]: Let's do it, baby.
392
00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:44,546
[higher]:
Bender is great.
393
00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:45,923
[normal]:
And fade to black.
394
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,926
- You're hired!
- Hello, Writer's Guild.
395
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:53,430
♪
396
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,724
[rapid typing]
397
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,726
[whirring]
398
00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,728
MONIQUE [double speed]:
I'm afraid he'll never calculate again.
399
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:01,522
Or he'll do so inaccurately.
- [double speed]: Let's do it, baby.
400
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:02,731
- Bender is great.
- Cut!
401
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:06,693
Okay, reset for scene 31,652B...
402
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:10,197
[grunts]
[ambulance siren wails]
403
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,075
- Was that heart attack
part of the script?
404
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,327
- No, but leave it in. It's hilarious.
[scribbling]
405
00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:17,120
- Fry's life is on the line.
406
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,748
It's all up to me as executive producer.
407
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:22,709
[feedback squeals]
Action! I mean, action!
408
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:23,919
♪
409
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:26,338
Louder and funnier! Smile faster!
410
00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:28,257
[beeping]
Act better! Less nuance!
411
00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:30,676
That was terrible! Next scene!
[waltz playing, plane buzzing]
412
00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:32,886
Action! Cut! Action! I mean, cut!
[music cuts in and out]
413
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:36,056
Action! And... cut!
[horse neighs, explosion]
414
00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:38,934
[clanking]
415
00:17:38,934 --> 00:17:42,229
[applause, cheering]
416
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:45,357
- Wow. Great writing, everyone.
That's a wrap!
417
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:48,193
[bell ringing]
- What exactly happened in that episode?
418
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:50,654
CALCULON:
I won an Emmy, that's what.
419
00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:54,408
- [on megaphone]: Okay, everyone,
take five... seconds. Next episode!
420
00:17:54,408 --> 00:17:55,492
- Hang on, Leela.
421
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:58,871
I think the execubots
have some constructive notes.
422
00:17:58,871 --> 00:18:00,205
♪ dramatic sting ♪
423
00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:01,456
[screaming]
424
00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:06,879
- This is very hard for me
to say, Leela, so he'll say it.
425
00:18:06,879 --> 00:18:10,257
- We love everything about this show.
It's not working at all.
426
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:11,758
- You're canceled.
[buzzer]
427
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:12,885
[both gasp]
428
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:16,638
- You'll always be an important part
of the Fulu family.
429
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:17,764
Get out!
430
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,434
- But, our friend Fry...
431
00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:21,852
He's gonna die...
432
00:18:21,852 --> 00:18:23,353
- Strike the set.
433
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:26,023
♪
434
00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:28,525
[smashing, clattering]
435
00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:32,321
♪
436
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:36,283
BENDER:
How does a show get canceled
437
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,118
this many times?
438
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,286
By this many networks?!
439
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:40,954
[ringing, click]
440
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,372
- Bad news, Professor.
441
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:44,333
They won't let us make any more episodes.
442
00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,084
- That is bad news.
443
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,962
Especially since I have... good news!
444
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,840
Kidnap the actors
and get back here at once!
445
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,219
♪
446
00:18:55,219 --> 00:18:57,930
Fry's down to the very last episode,
447
00:18:57,930 --> 00:19:00,265
but he still has one slim hope.
448
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,976
We've got to gradually shift his focus
449
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:06,146
from the streaming world
back to the real world.
450
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,482
- Is that safe?
- God, no!
451
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:11,193
While he watches the finale on Fulu,
452
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:14,905
you'll simultaneously
perform it live in front of him.
453
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:17,324
- You're asking me to perform
a second take?
454
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:18,909
- No, no!
455
00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:22,412
Think of it as live theater for
one unconscious audience member.
456
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,998
- Ah, like the Milwaukee
Shakespeare Festival.
457
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,542
- Exactly!
458
00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:28,585
[feedback squeals]
And action.
459
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:30,170
[puffing]
460
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:33,590
♪ double speed waltz ♪
461
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:34,758
[knob clicking]
462
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:38,262
- [quietly]: Easing Fry back
to normal viewing speed.
463
00:19:38,262 --> 00:19:41,265
♪ waltz slowing to normal speed ♪
464
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:45,978
Now, we'll gradually decrease the opacity
465
00:19:45,978 --> 00:19:47,938
of his bingeing goggles.
466
00:19:47,938 --> 00:19:51,775
[clicking, beeping]
Gently... Gently...
467
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:54,736
[grunting, struggling]
468
00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:56,905
- Monique, Boxy,
469
00:19:56,905 --> 00:20:00,033
the feelings between each
distinct subset of two of us
470
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,910
are too intense to bear.
471
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:05,873
We find ourselves the vertices
of a classic love triangle.
472
00:20:05,873 --> 00:20:09,543
- It's a three-variable equation
with only one solution.
473
00:20:09,543 --> 00:20:11,962
X equals suicide.
474
00:20:11,962 --> 00:20:15,048
♪ dramatic sting ♪
[Scruffy sings identical dramatic sting]
475
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,800
[grunts]
[wheels rattle, horse neighs]
476
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,721
- Does this love triangle
have room for one more vertex?
477
00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:22,097
- Technically, yes,
478
00:20:22,097 --> 00:20:25,184
though it would then constitute
a love tetrahedron.
479
00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:27,060
Allow me to illustrate with a model.
480
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:30,647
[grunting, humming]
481
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:34,610
[clicking]
- Bringing Fry back to reality in three...
482
00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:35,736
Two...
483
00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:37,404
- Hey, where'd I put my cigar?
484
00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:39,489
♪ dramatic sting ♪
485
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,366
[popping]
486
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:42,451
CALCULON:
Zounds!
487
00:20:42,451 --> 00:20:45,537
[all screaming]
488
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:46,705
♪
489
00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:49,791
Thank you... Milwaukee.
490
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:52,377
[crash]
[bell ringing]
491
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:55,297
[fire crackling]
[all screaming]
492
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:57,257
- Somebody other than me do something!
493
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:58,383
- I'll put out the fire!
494
00:20:58,383 --> 00:20:59,468
[sloshing]
495
00:20:59,468 --> 00:21:01,470
- No! That's battery acid!
496
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:03,972
[gasps]
497
00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:06,183
♪ dramatic music ♪
498
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:10,646
♪ somber music ♪
499
00:21:10,646 --> 00:21:13,232
- Oops.
- He's dead!
500
00:21:13,232 --> 00:21:16,777
I killed him by encouraging
his hopes and dreams!
501
00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:19,655
How could I have been so stupid?!
502
00:21:19,655 --> 00:21:21,240
[sobbing]
503
00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:23,492
- What up?
504
00:21:23,492 --> 00:21:27,538
[Scruffy singing along to dramatic sting]
505
00:21:27,538 --> 00:21:29,957
- I'm afraid I have bad news, Fry.
506
00:21:29,957 --> 00:21:31,500
You're dead.
- I am?
507
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:34,336
- Fry! You weren't in the suit?
508
00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:35,629
- What? No.
509
00:21:35,629 --> 00:21:37,798
I got out of that thing,
like, two days ago.
510
00:21:37,798 --> 00:21:39,842
I decided to catch up on my reading.
511
00:21:39,842 --> 00:21:41,552
I'm sorry, Leela.
512
00:21:41,552 --> 00:21:43,846
You must be pretty disappointed in me.
513
00:21:43,846 --> 00:21:47,307
- No. I'm just glad you're okay.
514
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:50,602
And I promise
I'll never be supportive again.
515
00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:52,020
- Thanks, Leela.
516
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:54,690
You know, I really did try
to achieve my goal.
517
00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:57,150
I even turned up the playback
to double speed,
518
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:59,528
but I just couldn't get through
the last few episodes.
519
00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:01,738
I mean, they were unwatchable.
520
00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:05,701
The writing and the executive producing
really went downhill towards the end.
521
00:22:05,701 --> 00:22:08,078
- Hey, I may not be a great writer,
522
00:22:08,078 --> 00:22:10,455
but at least I filled
the allotted air time.
523
00:22:10,956 --> 00:22:12,916
To the second. Fade to black.
524
00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:16,170
♪ theme song playing ♪
525
00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:17,087
♪ news theme playing ♪
526
00:22:17,087 --> 00:22:19,214
- We now go live to the White House
527
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:22,801
for the presidential summit
on the dangers of streaming television.
528
00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:25,470
- I understand it's destroying
our young people.
529
00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:28,056
[laughs]
- That is my job!
530
00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:29,057
[birds chirping]
531
00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:31,351
- Aroo!
532
00:22:31,852 --> 00:22:34,897
Now, Mr. Fry,
I understand you recently endured
533
00:22:34,897 --> 00:22:37,649
a terrible ordeal
while doing something stupid
534
00:22:37,649 --> 00:22:39,610
involving streaming television.
535
00:22:39,610 --> 00:22:41,278
- That's right, Your Majesty.
536
00:22:41,278 --> 00:22:43,697
- And what lesson, if any, did you learn?
537
00:22:43,697 --> 00:22:45,407
- Well, first, I guess,
538
00:22:45,407 --> 00:22:48,410
don't reboot a show
if the quality isn't gonna be there.
539
00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:50,454
[applause]
540
00:22:50,454 --> 00:22:52,289
[mic feedback]
[quiet clucking]
541
00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:55,042
But, more importantly, let me say this.
542
00:22:55,042 --> 00:22:57,586
Viewers must binge responsibly.
543
00:22:57,586 --> 00:23:00,631
The same way they smoke cigarettes
or drink bleach.
544
00:23:00,631 --> 00:23:02,549
In my opinion, they must stream
545
00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:05,719
no more than 10 episodes in a row.
546
00:23:05,719 --> 00:23:07,804
And no less.
547
00:23:07,804 --> 00:23:10,641
[applause]
548
00:23:10,641 --> 00:23:13,143
But it's not just
the viewers' responsibility.
549
00:23:13,143 --> 00:23:16,522
Any TV show that truly cares
about its audience,
550
00:23:16,522 --> 00:23:19,107
that loves and respects them, should...
551
00:23:19,107 --> 00:23:23,028
no... must be canceled every few years.
552
00:23:23,028 --> 00:23:25,948
It's simply the right thing to do.
553
00:23:25,948 --> 00:23:29,910
[applause]
[Hyper-Chicken clucking loudly]
554
00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:31,828
Thank you.
[applause stops]
555
00:23:35,207 --> 00:23:38,293
- Sobering thoughts from some
drug-addled weirdo.
556
00:23:38,293 --> 00:23:40,754
Goodnight, God bless Earth,
557
00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:42,256
and aroo.
558
00:23:42,256 --> 00:23:45,259
♪38987
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