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1
00:01:42,226 --> 00:01:45,363
Miss Lemmon! Miss Lemmon!
2
00:01:45,479 --> 00:01:47,537
Miss Lemmon!
3
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,369
What?
4
00:01:51,485 --> 00:01:53,293
Doctor Warfield!
5
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:56,077
Miss Lemmon, get Professor
Kelp in here immediately.
6
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:59,881
But, Dr Warfield, I think Professor
Kelp has a class right now.
7
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:03,593
He had a class. Can't you hear?
8
00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:05,384
Now, get him!
9
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,565
Fire's up here.
10
00:02:17,094 --> 00:02:19,602
Get the axe! Get the axe!
11
00:02:21,849 --> 00:02:25,567
All right, men, all
together at the door.
12
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:31,785
Look out! Look out! Look out!
13
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:49,807
Oh, oh... I beg your pardon.
14
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,771
Oh, but this is terrible!
15
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,435
Oh...!
16
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:59,936
Oh... Oh...
17
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:01,981
Oh, my...!
18
00:03:03,724 --> 00:03:06,066
Professor Kelp?
19
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:13,284
Are you all right? And if you
are, where are you all right?
20
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:18,288
Oh, my...
21
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,725
Dr Warfield wants to
see you in his office.
22
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,697
- Dr Warfield?
- Yes, right away.
23
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:48,034
I used too much...
24
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,295
Kelp.
25
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:27,717
How long have you been on the
faculty of this university?
26
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:32,174
Well, now, I would say, er...
27
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:37,632
prior to my exposure as a student
counsellor, USC, three years...
28
00:05:37,753 --> 00:05:40,641
No, I went to post-grad,
naturally, two years... No...
29
00:05:40,756 --> 00:05:44,060
I had a botany exposure in
one particular school...
30
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:48,855
I had decided, pre-med, botany, whatever,
I would prefer the sciences...
31
00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:52,240
I think I should go back
to when I graduated...
32
00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:54,325
How long?!
33
00:06:11,495 --> 00:06:13,921
Two years and 22 minutes now.
34
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:18,137
Kelp, as I recall, upon
your arrival here,
35
00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:21,223
I told you and the other
new faculty members,
36
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:26,599
I will not stand for any member of staff
utilising the university's facilities
37
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:29,227
for his or her own
personal experiments.
38
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:32,282
Did I not make myself
perfectly clear?
39
00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:36,110
Good, I knew my memory
served me well.
40
00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:40,205
And Kelp, wasn't it
approximately six weeks later
41
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:44,034
that you conducted a rather interesting
experiment before your class?
42
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:49,627
Let me see... I think it had something
to do with an additive to gasolene
43
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:54,255
for the purpose of increasing the
efficiency of the combustion engine.
44
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:59,050
- Right?
- Yes, it was something to that effect...
45
00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,938
Do you recall what
that additive was?
46
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:06,274
Yes, as a matter of fact, now that
you bring it up, the additive was
47
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:11,726
3 parts carbon, 5 parts hydrogen,
1 part nitrogen, 3 parts oxygen.
48
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:14,485
- Which, of course, is?
- Nitroglycerine.
49
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,776
- The results were?
- Negative.
50
00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:18,786
- And?
- Noisy.
51
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,704
Noisy!
52
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:26,585
It was the worst explosion in the history
of this or any other university.
53
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:30,745
That was two years ago and they're
still talking about it today.
54
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:34,585
Now you mention it, I saw
young Phips the other day.
55
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,295
You recall Arnold Phips
was in my class that day?
56
00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:40,470
Yes, really, what
did he have to say?
57
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:44,552
He's feeling much better and the
bandages should be off in two weeks.
58
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:47,773
Oh, well, a couple... Exactly!
That's exactly what I mean!
59
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,608
You are a menace.
60
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:55,532
Professor Kelp, believe me, I
know what I'm talking about.
61
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:58,659
Kelp, it's human nature.
62
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:03,033
Kelp, people just don't like
teachers blowing up their kids.
63
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:10,206
Kelp, try to understand
that I understand
64
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:15,761
that scientists and creators have
their little eccentricities.
65
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:19,718
Einstein hated haircuts, da Vinci
loved to paint and Newton...
66
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,889
Didn't he have something
to do with figs?
67
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:29,064
So therefore I, too, realise that you
have many of the same eccentricities.
68
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:33,522
Leave them in the locker when you
come in in the morning, Professor.
69
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,941
And feel free to take
them home at night.
70
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,537
All right, Kelp,
simmer down and relax.
71
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:51,622
I'm sure we won't have to have another
talk like this again. Am I correct?
72
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:55,588
Oh, without question,
you're absolutely...
73
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:58,506
yes, we'll never have
to correct our talk.
74
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,180
We won't ever speak...
75
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:04,643
That is, we'll never have to talk again.
We just never will discuss talking.
76
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:08,351
Er, we shouldn't really
converse about speaking.
77
00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:12,396
Professor, our discussion
has come to an end.
78
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,567
- Thank you, Dr...
- Kelp.
79
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,237
Yes?
80
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,157
Your watch...
81
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,692
does it...
82
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,453
always?
83
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:27,874
Oh, no, just when I open...
84
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,381
Those are your greens.
85
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,935
Hi, how are you?
86
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,993
"Therefore, through history,
87
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:06,864
"man has been curious..."
88
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:10,248
- Professor Kelp.
- Yes, Worfshefski?
89
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:14,457
- I have to go...
- You have to go?
90
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:17,756
Since when did you find it
necessary to ask permission to go?
91
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:22,759
No, well, what I meant to say,
Professor Kelp, was that...
92
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,889
I have to go to football practice.
93
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,349
Football practice?
94
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,052
At this hour?
What about your studies?
95
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:34,855
Well, Mr Coughman, the coach,
96
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:38,567
he asked me to try and get off
my first class this morning...
97
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,864
Get off your first class?
98
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,530
Did he, now? To get
off your first class?
99
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:48,576
Mr Worfshefski, had you learned
anything in your first class,
100
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:51,459
and I refer to the
elementary class,
101
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:55,831
you might not be in such
dire need of learning now.
102
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:58,917
Your request is denied.
Please sit down.
103
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:02,502
I don't want to hear another
word about your stupid practice.
104
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:08,009
You don't have no call to go yelling
at me like that, Professor Kelp.
105
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:12,887
Worfshefski, I might
have been a little rash.
106
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:16,605
That wasn't very nice
calling my practice stupid.
107
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:19,854
I meant I was stupid in
assuming practice was stupid.
108
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:23,356
Naughty, naughty, naughty.
109
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,949
- Teacher!
- Well, you shouldn't be upset.
110
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:28,409
W... W... Worfshefski,
you're breaking my...
111
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,990
There goes the tibia. Worfshefski,
you're... Worfshefski!
112
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,497
You must realise that...
113
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,712
You don't realise what
you're doing, Worfshefski.
114
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:40,538
Worfshefski, you don't
realise what you're doing.
115
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,504
Well, just don't do
something, sit there!
116
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:52,347
Er, that is... class dismissed!
117
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,388
You may go.
118
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:02,070
Can I be of any assistance,
Professor Kelp?
119
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,492
Oh, er...
120
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:13,738
Thank you, Miss Purdy, you're
very, very considerate.
121
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:16,330
Actually, I would
appreciate the assistance
122
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:23,081
for were it not for you assisting me
I might very well be here all semester.
123
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:27,674
Well, er, let's start
with the book.
124
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:31,257
Yeah... I don't know, I...
125
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,893
You have to... The, er...
126
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,143
Wait, it's connected, you
better not press that.
127
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,859
Just pull it out, Miss Purdy.
128
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,278
Oh, that really snapped.
129
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,779
- I'm sorry.
- That's all right.
130
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:52,658
- Try leaning.
- Oh, no, no, no, no...
131
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,992
Let me just... Let
me have this arm...
132
00:12:56,108 --> 00:13:00,954
Just may I have that arm? All right,
you just hold some of the body...
133
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,092
Thank you, thank you.
134
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,876
- Thank you, Miss Purdy.
- Are you all right, Professor?
135
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:13,965
Oh, yes, this is very
embarrassing, Miss Purdy.
136
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:16,094
Why don't you call me
Stella, Professor?
137
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,554
I thought it was Stella Purdy.
138
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:22,936
Oh, you mean to call you Stella?
How stupid of me. Sorry.
139
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,560
I will, stupid... Er, Stella.
140
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:29,113
I'm very upset. It's
very embarrassing.
141
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:37,116
Honestly, Professor, you shouldn't
let a big ox like that bother you.
142
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:42,125
He's the typical bully that
loves picking on a small man.
143
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:46,465
Yes, yes, you're right, Miss Purdy,
144
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:51,005
but you'd best run along or
you'll miss your next class.
145
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,930
You're all right?
146
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:58,811
Oh, yes, as I said, I'm just
embarrassed. I'm fine, thank you.
147
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:11,115
Er, Miss Purdy...
148
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,738
Miss Pur... Excuse me.
149
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,367
The, er...
150
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:37,222
He's a typical bully that loves
picking on a small man...
151
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:41,135
picking on a small man...
picking on a small man...
152
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,748
I think I broke myself.
153
00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:46,996
Wrong way, sir. This is the gym.
I take it you're new?
154
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:51,293
- Well, I'm not brand new.
- No, I mean a new student.
155
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,973
I'm terribly sorry, sir.
Are you hurt?
156
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:07,181
Well, actually, if you would
say that a man with an ulcer,
157
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:11,611
a nail in his shoe and a splinter in his
finger was then struck by lightning...
158
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:15,272
If you could say he wasn't
hurt then I'm not hurt.
159
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,029
Good. By the way, we don't
wear glasses at Vic Tanny's.
160
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,071
Fine, I'll just take these off.
161
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:23,372
I didn't realise that you're
not supposed to, er...
162
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:27,497
There's nowhere really that I...
Is there some place I could put?
163
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:31,875
- Shall I put these in a locker?
- I'd appreciate it. You're very kind.
164
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:36,338
I would've put them there had I
known that there was a restriction.
165
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:39,887
Some people use them for a
façade, I wear them for eyes.
166
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:43,598
You see, "for eyes",
it's a play on "eyes".
167
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:47,595
I hope I did nothing wrong by
wearing them. I didn't realise.
168
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:51,149
If we could get started. I do have
a class and need to get going.
169
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,985
- Come with me.
- Wonderful.
170
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:57,489
I've never done this before.
I don't know where to begin.
171
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,324
We start right here.
172
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,910
Identical twins.
173
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:05,829
- No, that's a pulling machine.
- A pulling machine? What does it do?
174
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:11,665
- You pull it! 15 or 20 pulls to begin with.
- Oh, I see.
175
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:14,123
- And take it easy.
- Naturally.
176
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:17,545
I wouldn't strain myself for the
world. Thank you very much.
177
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:20,431
You're welcome. Er, happy muscles.
178
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,928
Yes, I certainly do.
179
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:33,225
Oh, yes, I've seen that
in those magazines.
180
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,443
Oh, that's invigorating.
181
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,414
Oh, that's terrific.
182
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:58,672
I'm going to have a great deal
of fun with this, I can tell.
183
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:05,471
"the various aspects, of
course, is relativity to hydrogen.
184
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:12,683
"There is hydrogen, duly explosive and
more devastating than the atomic.
185
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:19,152
"There is equally the devastation
in nitrogen... nitrogen, equally..."
186
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:40,395
I couldn't help but notice -
I was standing here -
187
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:46,117
that's amazing, the way you
push those things up there.
188
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:49,032
It must take a great
deal of patience.
189
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,654
And a little muscle.
190
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:55,824
Oh, yes. Well, you certainly are...
Yes, you are...
191
00:19:55,945 --> 00:20:00,541
I'd love to be able to... I would
really enjoy trying that some time.
192
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:04,044
I don't think you'd have
the patience for it.
193
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,179
I have the other thing you
mentioned: A little muscle.
194
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:11,257
I say, that was, er,
sort of a corker!
195
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,553
Here, enjoy yourself.
196
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:32,821
I, er... I suspect it was
somewhat heavier than I...
197
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,970
- uncanny.
- I agree, Doctor.
198
00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:56,475
But there are a couple of points
that I neglected to mention.
199
00:20:56,589 --> 00:21:01,102
Specifically, the day I went to
Vic Tanny, I got on the scale,
200
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:03,691
as they normally do,
to check you in,
201
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:07,854
and I weighed 153 pounds,
and then after six months,
202
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:13,318
I weighed myself on that very same
scale, and I found that I weighed 151.
203
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:17,157
Very interesting, Professor Kelp.
204
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:23,288
But I am surprised that a man with
your education and background
205
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:26,508
should be intimidated by
a bully to this extent.
206
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:31,013
Plus, you must know, only some men
react to bodybuilding exercise,
207
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,679
whereas others just don't.
208
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:41,230
Professor, revenge can't be
that important to you.
209
00:21:41,342 --> 00:21:44,111
I must take objection
there, Doctor.
210
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:47,155
Revenge might have been
the motivating force,
211
00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:51,528
but I feel that curiosity has
taken over where revenge began.
212
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:56,904
I am more or less being compelled by
completing something that I started.
213
00:21:57,024 --> 00:22:00,458
I must finish what I start,
finish what I start.
214
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:03,243
I admire a man who likes
to see something through,
215
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,955
but your six months have failed.
216
00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:10,339
- What will you do now?
- I actually don't know, Doctor.
217
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:13,390
That's why I wanted to see you.
218
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:16,968
I had one plan and I thought
I'd mention it to you.
219
00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:22,181
Chemistry is probably what I know
best, that's all I know, really.
220
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:25,354
Some of the world's finest
pharmaceutical companies
221
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:30,646
make bodybuilding minerals, vitamins,
chemicals all based on chemistry,
222
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,820
so I'd approach it from
a chemistry standpoint.
223
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:36,408
To prove a point, I'll show you...
224
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:40,869
Oh, Professor, excuse me,
I seem to have run out of time.
225
00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:42,959
I'm due at the hospital.
226
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:48,591
I'm terribly sorry, I never realised
the time. In fact, I have a class...
227
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:58,935
Go ahead, but I'd like to browse
around if it's all right.
228
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:01,054
Not at all.
229
00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:06,646
- I hope you find what you're looking for.
- You're terribly kind. Thank you.
230
00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:13,657
Let's see, anatomy, body structure,
structure of body muscle...
231
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:39,598
"Man's growth,
physically and mentally.
232
00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:44,854
"A man's mind, from childhood to
old age, never stops growing.
233
00:23:44,966 --> 00:23:50,226
"Not in size or by measure, but by
constant learning and knowledge.
234
00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:55,404
"On the other hand, man's
body stops at a point,
235
00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:57,860
"that of completion of the anatomy,
236
00:23:57,979 --> 00:24:01,495
"yet we have learned, through
chemistry... " Ha, ha, ha!
237
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:05,041
"man can grow further with
the aid of additional elements."
238
00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:57,417
Seven weeks and 13 experiments have
gone by with little or no strides made,
239
00:24:57,538 --> 00:25:01,553
but today I'm certain
my formula will work,
240
00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:06,228
so certain that I plan
trying it on myself tonight.
241
00:25:20,603 --> 00:25:22,031
Tonight.
242
00:25:31,155 --> 00:25:32,915
Oh, I'm really...
243
00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:39,087
Oh, Miss Purdy, I'm terribly sorry.
Just let me get you up there, dear.
244
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:43,599
That's just ridiculous. I never...
I just swung the door...
245
00:25:43,709 --> 00:25:48,518
It's all right. You just
knocked the breath out of me.
246
00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:52,776
- So stupid of me.
- I'm perfectly all right. No harm done.
247
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:57,528
- That's fine.
- Did anyone invite you for tonight?
248
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:01,191
Invite me? I don't
think so... Where?
249
00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:06,867
The class is having a mid-term party at the
Purple Pit. We'd love you to join us.
250
00:26:06,983 --> 00:26:11,330
Thank you, it's terribly considerate
and kind of you, and I appreciate it,
251
00:26:11,445 --> 00:26:15,460
and I've always said there should
be a closer interrelationship
252
00:26:15,575 --> 00:26:18,841
between the student and the
faculty based on better learning,
253
00:26:18,953 --> 00:26:23,514
yet the Purple Pit is off limits
to the faculty of the university.
254
00:26:23,624 --> 00:26:25,053
Didn't you know?
255
00:26:25,168 --> 00:26:28,434
Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry, Professor.
256
00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:31,219
I guess it slipped my mind,
257
00:26:31,340 --> 00:26:36,897
but the Pit's never been what it's
supposed to be, by reputation anyway.
258
00:26:37,013 --> 00:26:41,407
You know, I, too, have heard
it's a wild, terrible place,
259
00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:47,453
when it's really just a quaint spot
where the students can talk and relax
260
00:26:47,565 --> 00:26:50,500
and just generally get acquainted.
261
00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:55,787
And when you really get
down to it, it's quite dull.
262
00:27:26,854 --> 00:27:31,663
- broads.
- They'll be glad. You gotta do it.
263
00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:33,828
Why not?
264
00:27:33,945 --> 00:27:36,749
Stella, couldn't you
talk Kelp into coming?
265
00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:41,460
Can you imagine the professor here?
He'd break into a rash.
266
00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:45,805
Don't be too sure. Professor Kelp's just
the kind of guy who might fool you.
267
00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:49,551
I bet he likes to get out
on his own a little.
268
00:27:49,669 --> 00:27:55,522
I'll bet you right now he's probably
on his way to a secret rendezvous
269
00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:58,817
with a mysterious,
dark-haired female.
270
00:28:39,510 --> 00:28:41,437
Come in, Julius.
271
00:28:49,979 --> 00:28:53,329
Er, how are you tonight, Jennifer?
272
00:28:53,441 --> 00:28:56,114
- How are you, Julius?
- I'm fine.
273
00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:57,664
I am, too-lius.
274
00:28:57,778 --> 00:29:02,125
Now, be very quiet, Jennifer.
We have a lot of work to do.
275
00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:05,591
- Tonight's the big night.
- Keep very quiet.
276
00:29:05,703 --> 00:29:11,010
He's got a lot of work to do.
Tonight's the big night. The big night.
277
00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:45,044
Well, we're just about
ready, Jennifer.
278
00:29:45,159 --> 00:29:50,170
You might be ready, Julius, but if
I were you, I'd think about it.
279
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:54,221
Think, think, you'd better think.
280
00:29:54,335 --> 00:29:56,593
Better think about it.
281
00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:07,748
I told you, Julius.
I told you, Julius.
282
00:33:07,862 --> 00:33:12,256
I told you, Julius. I told you...
283
00:34:05,378 --> 00:34:09,606
Thank you very much, sir.
We know you'll be very happy.
284
00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:13,066
And you look just stunning.
285
00:34:13,177 --> 00:34:18,105
And we'll have your other suits and
things no later than next week.
286
00:36:24,851 --> 00:36:29,411
- What'll it be?
- Ah, that's no way to talk! Tsk-tsk!
287
00:36:29,522 --> 00:36:33,240
"What'll it be?" That's no
way to treat a customer.
288
00:36:33,359 --> 00:36:35,286
Come here. Pay attention.
289
00:36:35,403 --> 00:36:38,172
You'll feel better and
customers'll be happier.
290
00:36:38,281 --> 00:36:42,165
Try this: "What'll it
be, hmm?" Try that.
291
00:36:42,285 --> 00:36:45,089
Come on, we haven't
got all night. Try it.
292
00:36:45,204 --> 00:36:47,926
What'll it be... mmm?
293
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:51,675
Good, that was wonderful. Did anyone
ever tell you you couldn't sing?
294
00:36:51,794 --> 00:36:56,889
Nice. Make me an Alaskan Polar Bear
Heater on the double. Come on.
295
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:04,190
Say, why don't you pick on
somebody your own disposition?
296
00:37:05,391 --> 00:37:10,912
Oh, please, Mr Bar-room Brawler,
don't hurt me or anything like that.
297
00:37:25,536 --> 00:37:28,388
- Did you say Polar Bear Heater?
- No, you did.
298
00:37:28,497 --> 00:37:32,595
- I said an Alaskan Polar Bear Heater.
- I never heard of that.
299
00:37:32,710 --> 00:37:35,479
Until now. All right,
pay attention.
300
00:37:35,588 --> 00:37:38,309
- Two shots of vodka.
- Two shots of vodka.
301
00:37:38,424 --> 00:37:40,018
- A little rum.
- A little rum.
302
00:37:40,134 --> 00:37:42,690
- Some bitters.
- Bitters.
303
00:37:42,803 --> 00:37:46,948
- And a smidgin of vinegar.
- And a smidgin of...
304
00:37:47,058 --> 00:37:50,028
You gonna drink this or
rub it on your chest?
305
00:37:50,144 --> 00:37:55,451
That was terrific! Did you hear that,
folks? A regular George Bernard Shaw.
306
00:37:55,566 --> 00:37:59,746
Good boy! And he did it all by himself.
You did it all by yourself without help.
307
00:37:59,862 --> 00:38:02,714
That's terrific. And
with your own big mouth.
308
00:38:02,823 --> 00:38:07,087
If you don't want the cocktail shaker in
your gums, shut up and pay attention.
309
00:38:07,203 --> 00:38:09,545
- Is that clear? Repeat after me: I'll...
- I'll...
310
00:38:09,664 --> 00:38:12,848
- I'll pay attention.
- I'll pay attention.
311
00:38:12,959 --> 00:38:14,767
All right, let's continue.
312
00:38:14,877 --> 00:38:16,804
- A shot of vermouth.
- A shot of vermouth.
313
00:38:16,921 --> 00:38:18,563
- A shot of gin.
- A little gin.
314
00:38:18,673 --> 00:38:20,433
- A little brandy.
- A little brandy.
315
00:38:20,550 --> 00:38:22,108
- Lemon peel.
- Lemon peel.
316
00:38:22,218 --> 00:38:23,942
- Orange peel.
- Orange peel.
317
00:38:24,053 --> 00:38:25,813
Cherry.
318
00:38:25,930 --> 00:38:28,069
- Some more Scotch.
- More Scotch.
319
00:38:28,182 --> 00:38:33,193
Now, mix it nice, then
pour it into a tall glass.
320
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,829
I never tried this.
Mind if I take a sip?
321
00:38:38,943 --> 00:38:41,036
Go right ahead.
322
00:38:44,991 --> 00:38:46,751
Not bad.
323
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:28,877
Hi.
324
00:39:28,993 --> 00:39:31,335
I don't know any better place
325
00:39:31,454 --> 00:39:35,254
to get to know a lovely lady
than on the dance floor.
326
00:39:35,374 --> 00:39:39,768
- I hope you don't refuse.
- I'm sorry, I'm with...
327
00:39:39,879 --> 00:39:44,475
- Move along, sonny. She's with us.
- Sh! Sit down.
328
00:39:44,592 --> 00:39:48,986
Come here, honey. Stand up a minute.
Just there. I'll be right back.
329
00:39:49,096 --> 00:39:52,612
We don't want trouble,
do we? Sit like nice boys.
330
00:39:52,725 --> 00:39:56,905
Would you like me to tell Dr Warfield,
my personal friend, of your bad manners?
331
00:39:57,021 --> 00:40:00,075
He would be very
displeased. So cool it.
332
00:40:00,191 --> 00:40:06,329
If you're nice lads, cute little chappies,
later on I'll let you twirl my key-chain.
333
00:40:06,447 --> 00:40:08,872
Now, relax.
334
00:40:08,991 --> 00:40:12,176
It's all straight, baby.
Put your arm up there.
335
00:40:12,286 --> 00:40:16,218
Remember how they do that in the
movies? They walk like high class.
336
00:40:16,332 --> 00:40:19,516
Dancing, nice. We're hugging.
It's wonderful.
337
00:40:19,627 --> 00:40:21,766
Clear the floor.
338
00:40:47,989 --> 00:40:50,377
I know what you're thinking.
339
00:40:51,325 --> 00:40:54,592
Where's he been all my life, right?
340
00:40:56,122 --> 00:40:58,298
No, not exactly.
341
00:40:59,208 --> 00:41:04,729
And that you're happy the way I
handled those three goons, right?
342
00:41:06,424 --> 00:41:10,735
Well, normally, I would
have belted them.
343
00:41:12,346 --> 00:41:15,364
But I didn't want
to muss myself up,
344
00:41:15,474 --> 00:41:20,118
and have you dance with
a sloppy guy. Dig?
345
00:41:23,149 --> 00:41:28,409
Then, you restrained yourself,
just for little old me.
346
00:41:28,529 --> 00:41:30,918
I knew you'd appreciate it.
347
00:41:32,033 --> 00:41:35,466
I do a lot of nice things.
348
00:41:36,954 --> 00:41:43,971
Is that really the case or is this
line 27 a for young college girls?
349
00:41:44,086 --> 00:41:49,857
Aw, now, you see?
You went and done it.
350
00:41:51,135 --> 00:41:56,526
One of the rare times in my life
when I dig down into the soul,
351
00:41:56,641 --> 00:41:59,148
and you doubt my veracity?
352
00:41:59,268 --> 00:42:00,946
Well, that hurts.
353
00:42:03,940 --> 00:42:08,536
Well, it's not your
veracity that I doubt.
354
00:42:12,031 --> 00:42:15,749
- The music's stopped.
- Yeah, I heard.
355
00:42:17,161 --> 00:42:19,717
Hold it a second. Hold... Hold it.
356
00:42:19,830 --> 00:42:23,015
We'll make our own music,
gorgeous. Just hold it.
357
00:42:23,125 --> 00:42:26,891
You and you stay. Tubby, go
rest your thumbs. I'll drive.
358
00:42:27,004 --> 00:42:30,189
- Sweetie, go get your lips pressed.
- Split. - Listen...
359
00:42:30,299 --> 00:42:34,479
You listen. Sit down. You'll be
thrilled. Believe you me.
360
00:42:34,595 --> 00:42:37,530
Sit and listen and watch.
361
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,400
Mood is wrong!
362
00:42:39,517 --> 00:42:43,365
Innkeeper, got sexy lights?
Lay it on me.
363
00:42:43,479 --> 00:42:46,366
Better. Better. Now, watch, baby.
364
00:42:47,775 --> 00:42:49,915
Every move a picture.
365
00:43:00,496 --> 00:43:05,507
♪ That old black magic
has me in its spell
366
00:43:05,626 --> 00:43:10,519
♪ That old black magic
that you weave so well
367
00:43:10,631 --> 00:43:15,808
♪ Those icy fingers
up and down my spine
368
00:43:15,928 --> 00:43:21,023
♪ The same old witchcraft
when your eyes meet mine
369
00:43:21,142 --> 00:43:25,951
♪ The same old tingle
that I feel inside
370
00:43:26,063 --> 00:43:31,075
♪ And then that elevator
starts its ride
371
00:43:31,194 --> 00:43:33,915
♪ And down, down, down I go
372
00:43:34,030 --> 00:43:36,372
♪ Round, round, round I go
373
00:43:36,490 --> 00:43:40,374
♪ Like a leaf that's
caught in the tide
374
00:43:41,078 --> 00:43:43,254
♪ I should stay away
375
00:43:43,372 --> 00:43:45,928
♪ But what can I do?
376
00:43:46,042 --> 00:43:48,467
♪ I hear your name
377
00:43:48,586 --> 00:43:51,556
♪ And I'm aflame
378
00:43:51,672 --> 00:43:56,233
♪ Aflame with such a burning desire
379
00:43:56,344 --> 00:43:59,978
♪ That only your kiss
380
00:44:00,097 --> 00:44:02,320
♪ Can put out the fire
381
00:44:02,433 --> 00:44:06,910
♪ You're the lover
I have waited for
382
00:44:07,021 --> 00:44:10,572
♪ You're the mate that
fate had me created for
383
00:44:12,276 --> 00:44:16,955
♪ And every time
your lips meet mine
384
00:44:17,073 --> 00:44:19,878
♪ Baby, down and down and down I go
385
00:44:19,992 --> 00:44:22,334
♪ Round and round and round I go
386
00:44:22,453 --> 00:44:26,930
♪ In a spin, loving
the spin that I am in
387
00:44:27,041 --> 00:44:30,261
♪ Under that old black
magic called...
388
00:44:30,378 --> 00:44:32,803
♪ Old black magic called...
389
00:44:32,922 --> 00:44:38,182
♪ Old black magic called love
390
00:44:38,302 --> 00:44:39,861
♪ Love
391
00:44:40,596 --> 00:44:43,022
♪ Love ♪
392
00:44:53,776 --> 00:44:58,752
Back. Back! Thank you, kiddies. You're
all very nice little boys and girls.
393
00:44:58,865 --> 00:45:03,792
If you're real nice, tomorrow night I might
ration out a little more of this rare talent.
394
00:45:03,911 --> 00:45:07,760
Now, back to your seats,
back. Go on, go on.
395
00:45:07,874 --> 00:45:09,765
Back, back, back.
396
00:45:11,252 --> 00:45:15,219
They're nice kids, all nice.
All nice kids.
397
00:45:15,339 --> 00:45:17,847
They have very good
taste, I might add.
398
00:45:17,967 --> 00:45:23,274
I'm glad. It would be a shame to waste
the genius of yours on the riff-raff.
399
00:45:23,389 --> 00:45:26,360
Honey, I always say, if
you're good and you know it,
400
00:45:26,475 --> 00:45:30,194
why waste time beating
around the bush, true?
401
00:45:31,355 --> 00:45:37,209
And I always say that to love yourself
is the beginning of a lifelong romance,
402
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:42,545
and after watching you, I know you
and you will be very happy together.
403
00:45:42,658 --> 00:45:45,843
Just a minute, sweetheart.
I don't recall dismissing you.
404
00:45:46,913 --> 00:45:50,346
You rude, discourteous egomaniac.
405
00:45:50,458 --> 00:45:52,764
You're crazy about me, right?
406
00:45:52,877 --> 00:45:55,468
This morning, looking
in the mirror,
407
00:45:55,588 --> 00:45:59,555
I enjoyed what I saw so much,
I couldn't tear myself away.
408
00:45:59,675 --> 00:46:01,104
Have some, baby?
409
00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:05,568
If I were your baby,
I'd be swinging from a tree.
410
00:46:05,681 --> 00:46:10,408
- Aw, Stella, that's not nice.
- How do you know my name?
411
00:46:12,188 --> 00:46:13,948
Well, we were introduced.
412
00:46:14,065 --> 00:46:18,459
No, we weren't introduced, or I would
have remembered your name.
413
00:46:18,569 --> 00:46:20,377
Tell me how you knew.
414
00:46:20,488 --> 00:46:25,582
You've heard of ESP, extrasensory
perception. I'm a firm believer in ESP...
415
00:46:25,701 --> 00:46:28,257
Hey, buddy, you really
sang up a storm.
416
00:46:28,371 --> 00:46:31,222
Yeah, I know. Thanks a lot.
417
00:46:31,332 --> 00:46:35,050
Well, you heard him.
Everybody knows Buddy.
418
00:46:35,169 --> 00:46:36,763
- Buddy?
- Yeah.
419
00:46:36,879 --> 00:46:42,140
Well, is that it? Or do you find it
difficult remembering two of them?
420
00:46:42,260 --> 00:46:45,064
Hey, you're kooky. That was cute.
421
00:46:45,179 --> 00:46:47,817
"Do you find it difficult
remembering two of them?"
422
00:46:47,932 --> 00:46:51,033
Wonderful! I knew you'd
be a barrel of laughs.
423
00:46:51,143 --> 00:46:53,781
No, I don't find it
difficult remembering two.
424
00:46:53,896 --> 00:46:55,989
- ♪ Love, love, love... ♪
- Buddy...
425
00:46:56,107 --> 00:46:59,373
Love. That's it. Buddy Love.
426
00:46:59,485 --> 00:47:01,044
Buddy Love?
427
00:47:01,153 --> 00:47:04,705
Of the Los Angeles Loves.
But that's of no consequence.
428
00:47:04,824 --> 00:47:07,960
- Shall we make a move?
- Where?
429
00:47:08,077 --> 00:47:10,668
- Do you have a car?
- Of course.
430
00:47:10,788 --> 00:47:14,174
- Crazy. Let's split.
- Let's split what?
431
00:47:14,292 --> 00:47:16,468
- Is it new?
- Not brand new.
432
00:47:16,586 --> 00:47:21,561
- I've driven it a whole week.
- Nutty! Let's go.
433
00:47:40,234 --> 00:47:44,498
Here, baby. Wipe the lipstick off,
slide over here and let's get started.
434
00:47:45,781 --> 00:47:51,421
We have started and finished. And for an
encore, get an earful of the following.
435
00:47:51,537 --> 00:47:54,009
I'll admit you're a
very sharp-looking guy.
436
00:47:54,123 --> 00:47:56,892
And you certainly have that
proverbial gift of the gab.
437
00:47:57,001 --> 00:47:59,509
I've only gone this far
438
00:47:59,629 --> 00:48:04,936
because when you meet someone like
you, your curiosity gets stirred up.
439
00:48:05,051 --> 00:48:09,279
Well, mister, this is one kitten that
won't be smitten by that little old devil.
440
00:48:09,388 --> 00:48:14,400
So turn this car around and take me
right back where you picked me up.
441
00:48:14,519 --> 00:48:17,026
That is, where we met.
442
00:48:17,146 --> 00:48:19,915
I said wipe the lipstick off.
443
00:48:32,245 --> 00:48:34,302
Was it something I said?
444
00:48:34,413 --> 00:48:36,553
You must be deranged.
445
00:48:40,962 --> 00:48:46,981
If you don't believe in idle chatter and
a lot of small talk, yeah, I'm deranged.
446
00:48:47,093 --> 00:48:51,606
You'd prefer I conduct myself like
the little boys you usually date?
447
00:48:52,682 --> 00:48:55,699
Nothing delights us more
than being enjoyed,
448
00:48:55,810 --> 00:48:59,954
appreciated or just plain
liked by someone, right?
449
00:49:01,482 --> 00:49:04,702
You're not going to tell me
450
00:49:04,819 --> 00:49:10,672
that you're here with me now
because I don't appeal to you.
451
00:49:10,783 --> 00:49:17,681
And I'm sure that you can see I
dig you pretty good, too, right?
452
00:49:17,790 --> 00:49:21,473
Well, isn't it easier to say so?
453
00:49:21,586 --> 00:49:24,603
Would you prefer I used
that phoney dialogue
454
00:49:24,714 --> 00:49:29,641
I'm sure you've heard at least
a half a dozen times before?
455
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:31,900
So you see, Stell,
456
00:49:32,013 --> 00:49:37,451
when I tell you that you're a
vibrant, beautiful, exciting woman,
457
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:41,954
you can believe me, you
can bet it's the truth.
458
00:49:42,064 --> 00:49:49,294
Because I'd have to be a complete idiot
not to want to hold you and kiss you,
459
00:49:49,405 --> 00:49:53,550
and make our time together
a warm, wonderful moment
460
00:49:53,659 --> 00:50:01,091
that could grow and develop
into many moments, many hours,
461
00:50:01,209 --> 00:50:03,467
and into something
really important.
462
00:50:05,713 --> 00:50:09,858
Nobody ever said anything
like that to me before.
463
00:50:10,426 --> 00:50:16,280
Nor can I ever remember a more honest
approach to two people being together.
464
00:50:17,892 --> 00:50:20,697
That's what I want
you to understand.
465
00:50:20,811 --> 00:50:24,992
Actually, I've never had, er...
466
00:50:25,107 --> 00:50:26,785
er, that is, er...
467
00:50:28,444 --> 00:50:31,249
er, what I mean is, er...
468
00:50:48,047 --> 00:50:49,689
Miss Purdy...
469
00:50:52,552 --> 00:50:54,229
Hello, Miss Purdy!
470
00:50:55,304 --> 00:50:57,730
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Professor.
471
00:50:57,849 --> 00:51:01,697
That's perfectly all right, Miss
Purdy, I hope I didn't wake you.
472
00:51:01,811 --> 00:51:07,664
I don't recall excluding you from the other
class members from taking this test.
473
00:51:07,775 --> 00:51:13,748
I'm terribly sorry, Professor,
I was just getting ready to start.
474
00:51:13,865 --> 00:51:18,258
Oh, just getting ready to start.
Splendid, splendid. Just getting ready.
475
00:51:20,079 --> 00:51:25,090
Students, please be aware that the test
papers must go on my desk for marking,
476
00:51:25,209 --> 00:51:28,844
also please be equally aware
of tomorrow's problem:
477
00:51:28,963 --> 00:51:32,728
H20 plus NO2 as we did the
other day, if you recall.
478
00:51:32,842 --> 00:51:36,026
I'm awfully sorry, and if
it would be agreeable,
479
00:51:36,137 --> 00:51:39,321
I'd like to stay after my
last class and take the test.
480
00:51:39,807 --> 00:51:45,494
Well, that's highly irregular, Miss
Purdy, but, er... we... we're...
481
00:51:45,605 --> 00:51:47,614
Are you all right, Miss Purdy?
482
00:51:47,732 --> 00:51:53,122
I'll know better tonight. I mean,
yes, sir, I'm quite all right.
483
00:51:53,237 --> 00:51:56,706
Oh, fine, then I'll
see you tonight...
484
00:51:56,824 --> 00:52:00,423
That is, after your last class,
as you said, to take the test.
485
00:52:00,953 --> 00:52:03,260
- Yes.
- Fine. I'll hold your paper.
486
00:52:03,372 --> 00:52:07,091
- Thank you.
- You're quite welcome.
487
00:52:07,210 --> 00:52:11,141
Be certain that it's
after your last class.
488
00:52:11,255 --> 00:52:14,938
I'll be marking these
papers accordingly.
489
00:53:37,425 --> 00:53:39,019
Professor.
490
00:53:40,303 --> 00:53:43,273
Ye... Ye... Oh, yes, Gibson?
491
00:53:43,389 --> 00:53:46,739
- I've got that book you asked for.
- Thank you.
492
00:53:46,851 --> 00:53:50,450
- My pleasure.
- Yeah, wonderful.
493
00:53:50,563 --> 00:53:52,241
Oh...
494
00:53:52,356 --> 00:53:54,698
Now, then...
495
00:53:54,817 --> 00:54:00,623
As you might very well recall,
yesterday in "Discussing Biology":
496
00:54:00,740 --> 00:54:06,843
"The long legs of the beetle and
the wonderful body of the ant."
497
00:54:07,872 --> 00:54:10,641
No, what I meant to say was:
498
00:54:10,750 --> 00:54:13,175
"The beautiful hair
of the blonde fish."
499
00:54:13,294 --> 00:54:17,474
No, actually...
Er, no... "The legs..."
500
00:54:18,174 --> 00:54:20,231
"terrific looking..."
501
00:54:21,093 --> 00:54:24,728
I am completely aware of what
chemistry and drugs can do
502
00:54:24,847 --> 00:54:27,569
to assist and aid
the body and mind.
503
00:54:27,683 --> 00:54:33,204
Yet I don't really believe what happened
to me comes strictly from chemistry.
504
00:54:33,314 --> 00:54:37,032
There must be an explanation
for this phenomenon.
505
00:54:39,362 --> 00:54:41,704
- Jennifer...
- Hi, sweetie.
506
00:54:41,822 --> 00:54:46,419
I knew I was on the right track, but I
never figured on anything like this.
507
00:54:46,536 --> 00:54:49,802
I must have hit on heredity. Yep.
508
00:54:49,914 --> 00:54:53,881
That's it. Heredity. Let's see...
509
00:54:57,129 --> 00:54:59,187
Elmer...
510
00:54:59,298 --> 00:55:00,809
Elmer!
511
00:55:00,925 --> 00:55:07,194
If you're not in here in 10 seconds, your
dinner will go to your family: The hogs!
512
00:55:07,306 --> 00:55:08,735
Elm...!
513
00:55:08,850 --> 00:55:11,986
Don't you sneak up on me.
514
00:55:12,103 --> 00:55:20,377
I was just finishing the ironing of
your underthings, Edwina, darling.
515
00:55:20,486 --> 00:55:23,706
Love... Angel...
516
00:55:24,740 --> 00:55:31,342
And all the other nice things I wish I
could think of, so you won't hit...
517
00:55:31,455 --> 00:55:33,844
or yell...
518
00:55:33,958 --> 00:55:36,679
- Honey...
- Honey?!
519
00:55:36,794 --> 00:55:44,060
Don't you "honey" me, you...
you artificial son of a lizard.
520
00:55:44,177 --> 00:55:49,235
Now, sit down, and for
the third time today,
521
00:55:49,348 --> 00:55:54,194
make a slob of yourself
trying to find your mouth.
522
00:56:07,825 --> 00:56:09,336
Idiot!
523
00:56:09,452 --> 00:56:14,214
- Can't you eat with your mouth closed?
- Not until I get something in it, dearest.
524
00:56:14,332 --> 00:56:17,005
What was that?
525
00:56:17,126 --> 00:56:19,847
Nothing, nothing.
It's quite all right.
526
00:56:19,962 --> 00:56:22,814
You're right. You're always right.
527
00:56:26,219 --> 00:56:28,228
My poor Dada.
528
00:56:28,638 --> 00:56:31,110
My poor Dada.
529
00:56:42,026 --> 00:56:45,827
Well, Jennifer, if that's
what's to be then I'll be it.
530
00:56:45,947 --> 00:56:50,625
You know what they say,
Julie-baby: Que sera, sera.
531
00:56:53,621 --> 00:56:56,971
Oh, Jennifer, you know
what I'm thinking?
532
00:56:58,668 --> 00:57:02,219
If this formula were to
fall into the wrong hands,
533
00:57:02,338 --> 00:57:05,641
the consequences could
be devastating.
534
00:57:05,758 --> 00:57:08,527
Now, it's much too
complicated to memorise
535
00:57:08,636 --> 00:57:12,271
and far too vitally
important to destroy.
536
00:57:12,390 --> 00:57:17,615
The only two people that I know
I can trust are my mother...
537
00:57:17,728 --> 00:57:19,868
and my father.
538
00:57:19,981 --> 00:57:22,038
What I should do...
539
00:57:23,192 --> 00:57:26,626
is mail my formula, a copy,
540
00:57:27,071 --> 00:57:29,876
to Mother and Father
541
00:57:29,991 --> 00:57:35,251
with instructions that were
anything to happen to me,
542
00:57:35,371 --> 00:57:41,723
they are to send a copy of the formula
and my original copy to Washington.
543
00:57:41,836 --> 00:57:43,679
George or Martha?
544
00:57:43,796 --> 00:57:45,556
No, Washington D...
545
00:57:47,633 --> 00:57:51,434
You're a silly bird
with a big mouth.
546
00:58:33,513 --> 00:58:36,068
- Professor Kelp...
- Yes?
547
00:58:42,730 --> 00:58:47,207
- I'm ready, Professor.
- That's very... Yeah... What?
548
00:58:47,318 --> 00:58:49,411
Did you forget about my test?
549
00:58:50,947 --> 00:58:53,585
No... er...
550
00:58:53,699 --> 00:58:58,545
Actually, no... I... I'm terribly
sorry... I did... I have it here...
551
00:58:58,663 --> 00:59:03,590
Why don't you sit down at your
table and I'll get your paper.
552
00:59:03,709 --> 00:59:09,314
I actually didn't, er,
really forget. I, er...
553
00:59:14,595 --> 00:59:18,313
I have so many members of the...
554
00:59:20,434 --> 00:59:23,025
class, it's difficult to...
555
00:59:27,233 --> 00:59:30,002
Oh, yes, here we are.
556
00:59:31,445 --> 00:59:34,250
It's very difficult to...
557
00:59:36,826 --> 00:59:39,678
You do want me to take the test?
558
00:59:39,787 --> 00:59:42,176
I'm terribly sorry, Miss Purdy.
559
00:59:42,290 --> 00:59:48,179
Certainly, of course, it's
necessary for you to take it.
560
00:59:48,671 --> 00:59:51,725
- Miss Purdy...
- Yes, Professor?
561
00:59:51,841 --> 00:59:56,733
I was going to say, I sincerely hope
that you don't mind if I don't linger.
562
00:59:56,846 --> 01:00:00,196
I have some very essential matters
that I must take care of.
563
01:00:00,308 --> 01:00:04,737
Certainly, Professor Kelp. And
thank you for understanding.
564
01:00:05,646 --> 01:00:09,791
I understand far better than you
would ever believe, honey...
565
01:00:09,901 --> 01:00:13,001
Er, Miss Purdy, that is.
566
01:00:13,112 --> 01:00:18,503
You just go right on
and thank you for...
567
01:00:33,424 --> 01:00:36,893
Julius! In the afternoon?
568
01:00:39,597 --> 01:00:41,275
Hiya, chicky-baby.
569
01:00:43,184 --> 01:00:45,857
- How's it going?
- Fine.
570
01:00:46,729 --> 01:00:51,787
Crazy. I thought I'd visit your little
land of learning. Cute. Cute pad.
571
01:00:51,901 --> 01:00:56,663
What happened to you last night?
What d'you run away like that for?
572
01:00:56,781 --> 01:00:59,586
I thought you saw a
ghost or something.
573
01:00:59,700 --> 01:01:01,840
Oh, yeah. How about that?
574
01:01:01,953 --> 01:01:03,962
That's why I stopped by.
575
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:07,798
I thought I'd lay it on you,
but this ain't the place to talk.
576
01:01:07,917 --> 01:01:13,972
What do you say we meet later at the
Purple Pit? We could talk better there.
577
01:01:14,090 --> 01:01:17,191
I don't know. You're pretty weird.
And I don't want...
578
01:01:17,301 --> 01:01:20,153
- Sh, sh. 10 o'clock?
- Perfect.
579
01:01:20,263 --> 01:01:22,189
Figures.
580
01:01:22,306 --> 01:01:25,656
Hey, honey, you look
a little drawn.
581
01:01:27,395 --> 01:01:34,791
Did you find it a little difficult going
all this time without seeing me? Sh, sh.
582
01:01:34,902 --> 01:01:36,995
Don't fight it.
583
01:01:37,113 --> 01:01:44,627
I don't want to hang you up, honey.
I see you're doing your little test here.
584
01:01:44,745 --> 01:01:48,380
But don't worry, beautiful.
Science'll do fine without you.
585
01:01:48,875 --> 01:01:53,435
But man needs you the most.
This man. Come here.
586
01:01:55,131 --> 01:02:00,687
That's good for you. If you
want more, call for refills.
587
01:02:00,803 --> 01:02:02,397
Later.
588
01:02:04,307 --> 01:02:05,901
Write nice.
589
01:02:45,223 --> 01:02:47,861
I just told you the time.
It's still 11.15.
590
01:02:47,975 --> 01:02:50,910
- Yeah, I know.
- OK, kids.
591
01:02:51,020 --> 01:02:53,077
You can all relax.
592
01:02:54,398 --> 01:02:56,621
Watch where you're going, Mac.
593
01:02:58,402 --> 01:03:02,002
Now that your desperate attempt
at having a good time's flunked,
594
01:03:02,114 --> 01:03:05,299
have no fear, Buddy's here.
595
01:03:06,077 --> 01:03:08,253
Let the good times roll.
596
01:03:08,913 --> 01:03:11,302
Hiya, baby.
597
01:03:11,415 --> 01:03:13,473
There's my date.
598
01:03:13,584 --> 01:03:16,009
That sharp-looking chick's my date.
599
01:03:45,074 --> 01:03:48,875
Cheer up, baby, your prize
package has arrived.
600
01:03:50,037 --> 01:03:53,304
- Hello, stale ones.
- You're pretty late, Mr Love.
601
01:03:53,416 --> 01:03:59,519
Hold it, baby, you got it a little mixed up.
You're just way too early, that's all.
602
01:03:59,630 --> 01:04:03,562
Be a nice girl and plant one
over there. You'll feel better.
603
01:04:03,676 --> 01:04:05,852
Come on, the best things
in life are free.
604
01:04:05,970 --> 01:04:10,150
And you'll admit, you've got one
of the best things. Lay it on me.
605
01:04:10,266 --> 01:04:11,741
You're impossible.
606
01:04:11,851 --> 01:04:15,071
Yeah, well, have some
impossible. Come on.
607
01:04:20,276 --> 01:04:24,504
See, wasn't that worth waiting for?
608
01:04:24,614 --> 01:04:27,287
Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-UH!
609
01:04:28,701 --> 01:04:33,178
You gotta admit, I'm not one of
the run-of-the-mill-type creeps
610
01:04:33,289 --> 01:04:35,797
that hang around this joint, right?
611
01:04:35,917 --> 01:04:38,223
You got a good thing,
don't louse it up.
612
01:04:38,336 --> 01:04:43,062
Isn't it enough that you've got
the swingingest and the best?
613
01:04:43,174 --> 01:04:47,485
You want me to be on time, too?
614
01:04:47,595 --> 01:04:51,278
- OK, OK, you win.
- Naturally.
615
01:04:53,476 --> 01:04:58,950
Please tell me why you ran away last
night and left me just sitting there?
616
01:04:59,065 --> 01:05:04,788
Hey, hey, don't get all riled up.
Cool it! Cool it!
617
01:05:04,904 --> 01:05:09,713
I don't want to get into no discussions
on an empty stomach anyhow. This is flat.
618
01:05:11,911 --> 01:05:15,178
Vampira, bring your kit.
619
01:05:20,628 --> 01:05:22,187
You rang?
620
01:05:22,296 --> 01:05:25,730
You don't sound exactly too
thrilled to serve the leader.
621
01:05:25,842 --> 01:05:30,734
On the contrary, I find it a rare
privilege to serve His Royal Lowest.
622
01:05:30,847 --> 01:05:36,652
You're cute, like a black widow spider.
Shut your mouth and just take the order.
623
01:05:36,769 --> 01:05:41,330
I've decided I shall not continue
the flight with the fuel I got.
624
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:45,953
So give me a boilermaker,
and heavy on the boil.
625
01:05:46,070 --> 01:05:49,788
Go on, go on, go on. Come on,
I haven't got all night.
626
01:05:54,412 --> 01:05:56,054
She's crazy about me also.
627
01:05:57,456 --> 01:06:02,551
Now, Lost Weekend Junior,
you've ordered your drink.
628
01:06:02,670 --> 01:06:05,890
About last night. Would you
like to explain what happened?
629
01:06:06,007 --> 01:06:09,939
I told you I was going
to tell you. It's...
630
01:06:10,052 --> 01:06:12,726
Why don't we table
it a while, sweetie?
631
01:06:12,847 --> 01:06:17,858
I mean, all the kids, they're kind
of waiting. It's Dullsville out.
632
01:06:17,977 --> 01:06:22,288
I'll be back. You take five. And I
love you, baby. Mean it sincerely.
633
01:06:22,398 --> 01:06:25,071
You wait for me, huh?
634
01:06:25,193 --> 01:06:29,160
Oh, there you are, sweets.
Thanks a lot.
635
01:06:37,288 --> 01:06:39,012
Sickening, isn't he?
636
01:06:40,166 --> 01:06:43,302
But... he's got something.
637
01:06:44,462 --> 01:06:48,476
And I mean to find out what it is.
638
01:06:49,342 --> 01:06:51,814
I think I'll do...
639
01:06:52,970 --> 01:06:59,322
do a tune that I'm going to
record for Poverty Records.
640
01:07:00,269 --> 01:07:03,204
They're the only
ones who'll have me.
641
01:07:08,402 --> 01:07:14,872
♪ I'm in the mood for love
642
01:07:16,661 --> 01:07:18,718
♪ Simply... Simp...
643
01:07:18,829 --> 01:07:21,551
♪ Simply because...
644
01:07:22,792 --> 01:07:26,343
♪ you're near me
645
01:07:26,462 --> 01:07:28,934
♪ Fun... Fun... Fun...
646
01:07:29,048 --> 01:07:35,601
♪ F... Funny but
when you're near me
647
01:07:35,721 --> 01:07:40,033
♪ I... I'm...
648
01:07:40,142 --> 01:07:46,530
♪ I'm in the mood for love... ♪
649
01:07:54,699 --> 01:07:56,341
That's...
650
01:07:56,450 --> 01:08:00,465
I think that'll be it
for a while, kids.
651
01:08:02,957 --> 01:08:05,726
Later, Stella. Wait...
652
01:08:09,881 --> 01:08:12,816
I feel like the girl
on her wedding night
653
01:08:12,925 --> 01:08:16,975
whose absent-minded husband goes
home to his mother for dinner.
654
01:08:31,903 --> 01:08:33,995
Where is he?
655
01:08:34,113 --> 01:08:37,831
- What time is it?
- I think he's getting his watch fixed.
656
01:08:37,950 --> 01:08:41,918
- Think he had an accident?
- Where is he?
657
01:08:42,038 --> 01:08:45,507
- Ten to one he doesn't show.
- Hope nothing's wrong.
658
01:09:51,941 --> 01:09:53,665
The... Ow!
659
01:10:40,031 --> 01:10:42,456
♪ Round and round and round I go
660
01:10:42,575 --> 01:10:44,714
♪ In a spin
661
01:10:44,827 --> 01:10:46,967
♪ Loving the spin that I am in
662
01:10:47,079 --> 01:10:50,346
♪ Under that old black magic called
663
01:10:50,458 --> 01:10:52,800
♪ Old black magic called
664
01:10:52,919 --> 01:10:57,930
♪ Old black magic called love
665
01:10:58,049 --> 01:10:59,892
♪ Love... ♪
666
01:11:00,885 --> 01:11:07,106
"One chemical, having
many individual parts...
667
01:11:08,518 --> 01:11:13,778
"can always be broken down...
broken down, always...
668
01:11:14,690 --> 01:11:19,287
"to such a degree that we never
need to be in the dark...
669
01:11:19,403 --> 01:11:22,670
"about the whys and wherefore
of their capacity.
670
01:11:22,782 --> 01:11:26,381
"And, to me, carbon dioxide
671
01:11:26,494 --> 01:11:29,167
"has always been a gas."
672
01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:32,967
No, I didn't mean... Yes...
673
01:11:33,084 --> 01:11:36,350
Actually, it kinda swings and...
674
01:11:52,186 --> 01:11:58,621
The formula needs to be
stronger to ensure more time.
675
01:11:58,734 --> 01:12:01,408
Stronger... ensure more time.
676
01:13:01,672 --> 01:13:03,350
Tired.
677
01:13:03,466 --> 01:13:04,894
Tired.
678
01:13:05,009 --> 01:13:08,644
Yes, Dr Warfield would
appreciate it very much.
679
01:13:08,763 --> 01:13:10,238
Can I go right in?
680
01:13:11,974 --> 01:13:16,617
The faculty is always ready to
serve the needs of the students.
681
01:13:16,729 --> 01:13:22,832
- I'm terribly sorry I'm late, Dr Warfield.
- Any time, Miss Purdy, any time at all.
682
01:13:22,944 --> 01:13:24,372
Thank you.
683
01:13:25,404 --> 01:13:29,288
Therefore, the success
or failure of the prom
684
01:13:29,408 --> 01:13:34,503
rests on your shoulders as members
of the Entertainment Committee.
685
01:13:34,622 --> 01:13:39,717
Miss Lemmon, will you send in the
proposed list of the entertainments.
686
01:13:42,129 --> 01:13:47,271
Good, good, "The Lightlighters".
Wonderful... Love folk singers.
687
01:13:47,385 --> 01:13:54,021
♪ The blue-nosed beetle likes
to needle all the people... ♪
688
01:13:54,141 --> 01:13:57,408
Who is this "Wickern and Wett"?
The comedy team?
689
01:13:57,520 --> 01:13:59,162
Good, good, perfect.
690
01:13:59,272 --> 01:14:01,578
I thought they'd split up.
691
01:14:01,691 --> 01:14:06,168
Who's this "Buddy Love"?
What's a Buddy Love?
692
01:14:06,737 --> 01:14:10,041
He's a local boy.
He's just terrific.
693
01:14:10,157 --> 01:14:12,831
- He's our new leader.
- Leader?
694
01:14:12,952 --> 01:14:16,717
- He's, like, too much.
- Like too much what?
695
01:14:16,831 --> 01:14:20,549
He's one of the truly great
swingers of all time.
696
01:14:21,752 --> 01:14:24,308
Swingers... Swingers of all time...
697
01:14:25,047 --> 01:14:27,769
It seems that you students
know Mr Love quite well.
698
01:14:27,884 --> 01:14:32,195
What about the faculty members?
Anyone here familiar with Mr Love?
699
01:14:32,305 --> 01:14:36,105
- Oh, he's the greatest.
- Do you know Mr Love?
700
01:14:36,225 --> 01:14:37,784
Oh... Me?
701
01:14:37,894 --> 01:14:42,241
No... I meant... Well, I heard
all the other students...
702
01:14:42,356 --> 01:14:46,075
- Professor Kelp, I heard that myself.
- Yes, you did.
703
01:14:46,194 --> 01:14:48,831
Anyone here know Mr Love?
704
01:14:50,156 --> 01:14:54,419
Very well, in that case, I
will have to meet him myself.
705
01:14:54,535 --> 01:14:57,636
Have him come to my
office at three o'clock.
706
01:14:57,747 --> 01:15:04,051
Dr Warfield, we don't exactly know
how to get in touch with Mr Love,
707
01:15:04,170 --> 01:15:06,179
on such short notice, that is.
708
01:15:06,297 --> 01:15:11,438
What do you mean? Is he some
kind of roving bum or something?
709
01:15:11,552 --> 01:15:15,946
- I've never heard of such a thing.
- I might see him tonight.
710
01:15:16,057 --> 01:15:20,866
That's not good enough. I want
to see him today at three.
711
01:15:20,978 --> 01:15:24,245
I beg your pardon,
Dr Warfield, but I...
712
01:15:24,357 --> 01:15:31,290
I just might be able to see my way clear,
possibly, to contact this Mr... Love.
713
01:15:32,281 --> 01:15:35,133
Professor Kelp, I don't
care who contacts him.
714
01:15:35,243 --> 01:15:39,803
Just get him here by three o'clock
today or forget the whole thing.
715
01:15:39,914 --> 01:15:41,342
Meeting dismissed.
716
01:16:11,737 --> 01:16:14,922
- Where's your pad?
- About a mile from campus.
717
01:16:15,032 --> 01:16:19,878
I have bought the craziest new drapes...
You mean my dictation pad.
718
01:16:19,996 --> 01:16:23,880
- Sorry, I'll get it immediately.
- Never mind. What did you want?
719
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:29,307
Mr Love is waiting outside to
see you and he's a gasser...
720
01:16:29,422 --> 01:16:31,561
I mean, shall I ask him to come in?
721
01:16:31,674 --> 01:16:36,187
- If you can do so without fainting.
- Yes, sir.
722
01:16:53,112 --> 01:16:56,415
You gonna make that
your life's work, baby?
723
01:16:56,532 --> 01:16:58,506
Hey, here.
724
01:17:01,370 --> 01:17:03,463
Mr Love?
725
01:17:03,581 --> 01:17:07,132
Buddy to you. What's your moniker?
What do they call you?
726
01:17:07,251 --> 01:17:10,934
Mortimer, Harvey, Norman,
Homer? Which is it?
727
01:17:11,422 --> 01:17:13,598
You may call me Dr
Warfield, young man.
728
01:17:13,716 --> 01:17:15,559
OK, Doc it is.
729
01:17:15,676 --> 01:17:19,774
What kinda doctor are you, sweetie?
Sawbones, is that the idea?
730
01:17:19,889 --> 01:17:23,156
Or a headshrinker? I went
to them once, you dig?
731
01:17:23,267 --> 01:17:27,828
Headshrinker. Told me I had a dual
personality, split, schizo and all that jazz.
732
01:17:27,939 --> 01:17:32,866
He charges me $82, so I give him $41 and
say get the rest from the other guy.
733
01:17:37,532 --> 01:17:39,090
What's eating you?
734
01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:46,014
Mr Love, I sent for you in
regard to the senior prom.
735
01:17:46,749 --> 01:17:49,803
However, after seeing
you, my door...
736
01:17:49,919 --> 01:17:56,816
Would you think I was terribly rude if
I asked you the name of your tailor?
737
01:17:56,926 --> 01:18:01,735
- That's wild. Absolutely gorgeous.
- Oh, you mean this?
738
01:18:01,848 --> 01:18:06,028
- Just beautiful.
- Actually, it's just a ready-made suit.
739
01:18:06,143 --> 01:18:07,654
You're kidding?
740
01:18:07,770 --> 01:18:13,077
Well, sort of a handmade-to-order
ready-made suit off the rack.
741
01:18:13,192 --> 01:18:16,542
Just magnificent. I think you're modest.
Is that the picture, sweetie?
742
01:18:16,654 --> 01:18:21,131
You've got the perfect physique and
anything you put on swings, right?
743
01:18:21,242 --> 01:18:23,251
Ever consider going
into show business?
744
01:18:23,369 --> 01:18:25,462
- I did a few school plays...
- Nutty...
745
01:18:25,580 --> 01:18:28,680
Girls backstage mob you, swamp you?
Is that the picture?
746
01:18:28,791 --> 01:18:32,723
- Stay there, don't move.
- You might say that in my time...
747
01:18:32,837 --> 01:18:34,680
Sorry, Doc. You all right?
748
01:18:34,797 --> 01:18:38,064
Did you really do a
job in show business?
749
01:18:38,176 --> 01:18:41,027
Anyone ever say you got
a Cary Grant-ish look?
750
01:18:41,137 --> 01:18:43,562
Ever see him walk towards a girl?
751
01:18:43,681 --> 01:18:48,242
Try that walk. Let me see, I'm just
curious. Walk like Cary Grant. Beautiful.
752
01:18:48,352 --> 01:18:51,287
Beautiful. Sure you're doing
the right thing working here?
753
01:18:51,397 --> 01:18:53,240
What did you do? Shakespeare?
754
01:18:53,357 --> 01:18:55,035
- I knew it... Hamlet...
- Hamlet...
755
01:18:55,151 --> 01:18:57,576
- Would you do it?
- Mr Love, it's been so long...
756
01:18:57,695 --> 01:19:02,457
Would you do it for me, Doctor?
Come on, baby. It's gotta be wild.
757
01:19:03,117 --> 01:19:06,052
- Go ahead.
- Let's see...
758
01:19:06,162 --> 01:19:08,800
- To be...
- Hold it! Do it right.
759
01:19:08,915 --> 01:19:11,422
Get on the stage. Let
me be your audience.
760
01:19:11,542 --> 01:19:15,510
- The faculty...!
- It's the best thing in the world for you.
761
01:19:15,630 --> 01:19:18,221
- Get up there and perform.
- If you insist...
762
01:19:18,341 --> 01:19:21,192
- Let it out.
- To be, or...
763
01:19:21,302 --> 01:19:25,613
Hold it. Let's make it a stage.
Let's make it right.
764
01:19:25,723 --> 01:19:30,366
You're gonna be beautiful,
just beautiful. Lay it on me.
765
01:19:30,478 --> 01:19:32,155
Am I in the light?
766
01:19:32,271 --> 01:19:34,660
- To be, or not...
- Hold it! Do it right.
767
01:19:34,774 --> 01:19:39,085
Be in show business. Hamlet, right?
You gotta play it all the way.
768
01:19:39,195 --> 01:19:43,838
Hamlet... Here, put it on. It's
gonna make you feel beautiful.
769
01:19:43,950 --> 01:19:46,920
- I feel it already.
- You'll play it like it's never been played.
770
01:19:47,912 --> 01:19:53,137
- Go on. Let it out. Enjoy it.
- It's a difference...
771
01:19:53,251 --> 01:19:55,924
- To be, or...
- Hold it. Do it right. Hamlet?
772
01:19:56,045 --> 01:19:59,680
A prince? You gotta go all
the way with the sword.
773
01:19:59,799 --> 01:20:03,066
You dig Hamlet. Do it.
Enjoy it. It's beautiful.
774
01:20:03,177 --> 01:20:06,397
Beautiful. You've wasted your
life with this school jazz.
775
01:20:06,514 --> 01:20:10,113
Well, I've often thought
of chucking it all...
776
01:20:10,226 --> 01:20:12,734
- To be, or...
- Hold it.
777
01:20:12,854 --> 01:20:15,195
Royalty is one thing, a crown.
778
01:20:15,314 --> 01:20:18,332
Do it right. Hamlet. Do it right.
779
01:20:18,442 --> 01:20:21,247
- Have the crown. Be Hamlet.
- My hat...!
780
01:20:21,696 --> 01:20:25,745
It's the way it should be.
You've got the crown.
781
01:20:25,867 --> 01:20:30,178
- I think I have it.
- Do Hamlet and really let it out.
782
01:20:30,288 --> 01:20:32,843
You're beautiful.
783
01:20:32,957 --> 01:20:36,640
To be, or not to be;
that is the question:
784
01:20:36,752 --> 01:20:39,225
Whether 'tis nobler
in the mind to suffer
785
01:20:39,338 --> 01:20:43,187
The slings and arrows of
outrageous fortune...
786
01:20:43,301 --> 01:20:47,101
- Oh, beautiful. Doctor, you choked me.
- I'm not through...
787
01:20:47,221 --> 01:20:52,279
You choked me. It was gorgeous.
The prettiest thing I've ever seen.
788
01:20:52,393 --> 01:20:54,569
- See you at the prom, Doc?
- Oh, yes.
789
01:20:54,687 --> 01:20:57,456
- Behind the footlights?
- We'll have you there...
790
01:20:57,565 --> 01:21:02,457
- I knew it, baby. You're beautiful.
- Carry on the great tradition of theatre.
791
01:21:02,570 --> 01:21:07,248
- Practise that Shakespeare.
- At the prom, Mr Love.
792
01:21:08,659 --> 01:21:13,255
To be, or not to be;
that is the question...
793
01:21:41,234 --> 01:21:43,907
Jennifer, what am I
to do, Jennifer?
794
01:21:44,028 --> 01:21:49,751
Have you ever thought of taking poison?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, Julius, taking poison!
795
01:24:17,723 --> 01:24:19,615
Hi... Doctor.
796
01:24:20,893 --> 01:24:23,615
- Kelp.
- Yes, sir?
797
01:24:23,729 --> 01:24:27,993
- Do you mind?
- Not at all. Do you lead?
798
01:24:28,109 --> 01:24:30,664
I'm sorry. I did misunderstand.
799
01:24:30,778 --> 01:24:36,667
I get carried away, what with the music.
It was a toe-tapper, I must admit.
800
01:24:36,784 --> 01:24:42,341
It's rare to hear instrumentation these
days, what with folk singers, etc...
801
01:24:42,456 --> 01:24:45,593
Would you care for some
refreshment, Miss Lemmon?
802
01:24:45,710 --> 01:24:51,052
Thank you, I think I would, but let
me go. You don't have to bother.
803
01:24:51,174 --> 01:24:54,773
There's no bother.
It would be my pleasure.
804
01:24:54,886 --> 01:24:58,520
- Kelp...
- Yes, I'll have a lemonade, too.
805
01:24:58,639 --> 01:25:02,689
- Kelp, will you get us two lemonades?
- I'm terribly sorry, Doctor.
806
01:25:02,810 --> 01:25:07,905
I was again so terribly distressed
at that wonderful toe-tapper.
807
01:25:08,024 --> 01:25:10,330
Well, zip and I'm gone.
808
01:25:32,882 --> 01:25:34,560
Hi, Professor.
809
01:25:34,675 --> 01:25:36,649
- Oh, Stell.
- Stell?
810
01:25:36,761 --> 01:25:39,945
That is, Miss Purdy... I'm sorry.
811
01:25:40,056 --> 01:25:44,616
How are you? Are you
having a good time, dear?
812
01:25:44,727 --> 01:25:47,283
I'm having a good time, but...
813
01:25:47,396 --> 01:25:53,250
I'd have a much better time if
somebody would ask me to dance.
814
01:26:02,495 --> 01:26:05,168
Cat got your tongue, Professor?
815
01:26:05,289 --> 01:26:09,683
No, the punch bowl has my arm.
816
01:26:11,003 --> 01:26:13,677
- I didn't realise...
- Let me help you.
817
01:26:13,798 --> 01:26:18,275
Thank you. I guess I'm
just accident prone.
818
01:26:18,386 --> 01:26:21,321
- Don't worry about it.
- I won't.
819
01:26:21,430 --> 01:26:27,236
- Come on, let's dance.
- Oh, yes, all right. Let me leave that.
820
01:26:27,353 --> 01:26:30,288
That sounds like a splendid idea.
821
01:27:00,428 --> 01:27:05,106
I neglected to mention, Miss Purdy, you're
looking very beautiful this evening.
822
01:27:05,224 --> 01:27:08,444
You must be looking forward to
seeing your Buddy Love tonight.
823
01:27:08,561 --> 01:27:13,239
- How did you know that?
- Everyone knows he's appearing tonight.
824
01:27:13,357 --> 01:27:19,128
Oh... Here. I guess I'm looking
forward to seeing him.
825
01:27:19,238 --> 01:27:21,876
But I can't figure out why.
826
01:27:23,409 --> 01:27:27,092
Well, he is quite
good-looking, is he not?
827
01:27:27,205 --> 01:27:31,468
Oh, yes, he is, but that
means nothing to me.
828
01:27:32,710 --> 01:27:39,014
He... I'm told he is a young man
with a very nice personality.
829
01:27:40,927 --> 01:27:47,943
On the contrary, he's rude, disrespectful,
self-centred and discourteous.
830
01:27:48,059 --> 01:27:50,650
Then it's not his nice personality.
831
01:27:50,770 --> 01:27:52,613
Hardly.
832
01:27:52,730 --> 01:27:55,155
I'm told that he's quite
talented, though.
833
01:27:55,858 --> 01:28:01,545
Oh, yes, he's very talented.
But talent comes in many forms.
834
01:28:01,656 --> 01:28:05,338
I believe intelligence is a
greater talent than anything.
835
01:28:06,035 --> 01:28:13,098
If Buddy has any real intelligence, he has
a fantastic talent for keeping it hidden.
836
01:28:13,209 --> 01:28:16,559
I see, well, then,
evidently, Miss Purdy,
837
01:28:16,671 --> 01:28:21,646
whatever you see in this young
man it must be very well buried.
838
01:28:23,219 --> 01:28:25,442
I think you're getting warm.
839
01:28:25,555 --> 01:28:29,439
Well, then, perhaps, and
it's just a possibility,
840
01:28:29,559 --> 01:28:35,495
he chooses to keep the inner man
locked up so that no one steps on him.
841
01:28:36,899 --> 01:28:41,044
But he should know I don't
want to step on him.
842
01:28:41,153 --> 01:28:44,539
Maybe someday I'll get
to prove it to him.
843
01:28:44,657 --> 01:28:49,466
If he ever unlocks that inner
man and lets him loose,
844
01:28:49,579 --> 01:28:52,549
so that I can grab
him and hold him.
845
01:28:52,665 --> 01:28:55,682
- I appreciate it.
- What?
846
01:28:55,793 --> 01:28:58,514
That... What I meant
was, that's very nice.
847
01:29:13,352 --> 01:29:17,367
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
It's show time. Gather round!
848
01:29:17,481 --> 01:29:19,907
We'll get the show on the road.
849
01:29:20,026 --> 01:29:24,455
Before we go on, I'd like you to
meet some of the specialists:
850
01:29:24,572 --> 01:29:27,922
There's Butch Stone up
there, you remember Butch.
851
01:29:30,411 --> 01:29:32,468
My kid brother, Stumpy Brown.
852
01:29:32,580 --> 01:29:36,345
Stumpy not only plays the
trombone, but also sings.
853
01:29:36,459 --> 01:29:40,259
Butch Stone is known for 'A
Good Man is Hard to Find'.
854
01:29:40,379 --> 01:29:44,062
We've a great show lined up
for you, a few surprises...
855
01:29:44,175 --> 01:29:47,858
Why do men keep
running away from me?
856
01:30:10,535 --> 01:30:12,259
The formula...
857
01:30:16,165 --> 01:30:18,472
- Jennifer!
- Hi, there.
858
01:30:18,584 --> 01:30:20,262
Jennifer.
859
01:30:28,845 --> 01:30:31,352
My formula.
860
01:30:33,975 --> 01:30:35,818
Th-Th-The formula.
861
01:30:36,602 --> 01:30:41,281
Jennifer, you've eaten
all of my formula.
862
01:30:42,608 --> 01:30:46,955
- Excuse me.
- Oh, shut up, you stupid bird!
863
01:30:47,071 --> 01:30:50,172
Then I can't suggest you
call your mother and father
864
01:30:50,283 --> 01:30:54,380
and get them to read the formula
from the copy you sent...
865
01:30:54,495 --> 01:30:58,723
Oh, what a wonderful bird!
Where's the phone?
866
01:31:02,086 --> 01:31:06,647
Long distance will be area code...
Oh, yes, area code...
867
01:31:06,757 --> 01:31:10,558
Sp... Sp... Splendid
idea, Jennifer.
868
01:31:13,764 --> 01:31:16,652
H... Hello, Father.
869
01:31:17,935 --> 01:31:21,120
Hello... I say, hello, Father.
870
01:31:21,230 --> 01:31:23,655
This is Julius. Yeah, I...
871
01:31:23,774 --> 01:31:26,828
Julius... J... Yes, your son.
872
01:31:26,944 --> 01:31:29,370
Would you be good enough, Dad,
873
01:31:29,488 --> 01:31:35,841
to open the formula for me and read
it to me so I can mark it down.
874
01:31:35,953 --> 01:31:39,303
Yes, I certainly... Actually,
I'd appreciate it, yes...
875
01:31:46,422 --> 01:31:49,357
It's just going to
have to be enough.
876
01:32:22,208 --> 01:32:26,970
Where can he be? I hope nothing's
happened to prevent his getting here.
877
01:32:27,088 --> 01:32:29,857
He better get here or
there'll be a riot.
878
01:32:42,895 --> 01:32:46,530
Thank you. Thank you very much.
879
01:32:46,649 --> 01:32:49,240
Ladies and gentlemen,
introducing the next performer
880
01:32:49,360 --> 01:32:52,378
is one of the easiest
chores I've ever had.
881
01:32:52,488 --> 01:32:56,123
Simply because this card I'm
holding is the announcement
882
01:32:56,242 --> 01:33:00,174
that the performer wants
read exactly as written.
883
01:33:00,288 --> 01:33:02,464
Makes it easy.
884
01:33:02,582 --> 01:33:07,924
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting
the world's greatest everything.
885
01:33:08,045 --> 01:33:11,182
The best dressed, the
swingingest performer,
886
01:33:11,299 --> 01:33:15,527
and one of the nicest
guys in the whole world.
887
01:33:15,636 --> 01:33:20,030
Here he is, the 1963 senior
prom's answer to Don Juan,
888
01:33:20,141 --> 01:33:21,984
Mr Buddy Love.
889
01:33:52,006 --> 01:33:55,226
♪ Up at dawn and sleepy and yawning
890
01:33:55,343 --> 01:33:59,357
♪ Still the taste of wine
891
01:33:59,472 --> 01:34:02,941
♪ Then I remember
you're mine and...
892
01:34:03,059 --> 01:34:07,026
♪ I've got a world that's fine
893
01:34:07,146 --> 01:34:10,496
♪ What's before me?
Routines that bore me
894
01:34:10,608 --> 01:34:13,116
♪ Punch the clock at eight
895
01:34:14,654 --> 01:34:18,123
♪ But what a lucky guy I am
896
01:34:18,241 --> 01:34:22,041
♪ I've got a world that's great
897
01:34:22,161 --> 01:34:24,503
♪ Atom bombs
898
01:34:24,622 --> 01:34:28,305
♪ Cape Canaveral and false alarms
899
01:34:28,417 --> 01:34:32,017
♪ Half the universe is up in arms
900
01:34:32,129 --> 01:34:37,437
♪ So I flip a little, too
Until I'm holding you
901
01:34:37,552 --> 01:34:41,021
♪ What's the hassle?
I'll buy the castle
902
01:34:41,138 --> 01:34:44,939
♪ We can live like kings
903
01:34:45,059 --> 01:34:48,658
♪ If we're together for ever
904
01:34:48,771 --> 01:34:50,496
♪ I've got a world that...
905
01:34:50,606 --> 01:34:52,366
♪ You've got a world that...
906
01:34:52,483 --> 01:34:56,877
♪ We've got a world that swings
907
01:34:56,988 --> 01:35:00,539
♪ I'd like to take you through
this wild, wonderful venture
908
01:35:00,658 --> 01:35:04,708
♪ Fly like a kite through
space, no strings
909
01:35:04,829 --> 01:35:08,761
♪ I don't want to lose
that bell that rings
910
01:35:08,875 --> 01:35:10,718
♪ I've got a world that...
911
01:35:10,835 --> 01:35:12,927
♪ You've got a world that...
912
01:35:13,045 --> 01:35:20,275
♪ We've got a world
that swi-i-i-ings
913
01:35:20,970 --> 01:35:26,824
♪ We've got a world that swings ♪
914
01:35:43,075 --> 01:35:44,919
You're very wise.
915
01:35:46,829 --> 01:35:50,263
If you'll hold it a second,
I'll thrill you some more.
916
01:35:50,374 --> 01:35:55,350
I'd like to do a tune for you that's
been a favourite of the gang at the...
917
01:35:55,463 --> 01:35:58,932
you should pardon the expression,
Dr Warfield... Purple Pit.
918
01:36:02,845 --> 01:36:07,737
You dig? It's that old
standard, 'Black Magic'.
919
01:36:17,944 --> 01:36:21,128
♪ That old... ♪
920
01:36:48,850 --> 01:36:51,487
♪ That old... ♪
921
01:37:02,154 --> 01:37:04,543
I, er...
922
01:37:07,201 --> 01:37:11,714
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm not usually at...
923
01:37:14,041 --> 01:37:19,218
I'm not usually at
a loss for words,
924
01:37:19,338 --> 01:37:21,478
but if you'll just...
925
01:37:22,633 --> 01:37:25,307
bear with me a moment, I think
I might be able to explain.
926
01:37:30,266 --> 01:37:34,280
It happened some time ago...
927
01:37:34,395 --> 01:37:39,406
being a scientist, I just
happened to have stumbled on
928
01:37:40,902 --> 01:37:44,620
one of the curious
mysteries of science.
929
01:37:46,199 --> 01:37:49,050
I found myself...
930
01:37:49,160 --> 01:37:56,223
so curious that I was
unable to just stop.
931
01:37:56,334 --> 01:37:59,138
Nonetheless...
932
01:37:59,253 --> 01:38:03,398
I never really knew what
was going to prevail.
933
01:38:04,759 --> 01:38:11,692
I do know now that I should've
left it alone... actually.
934
01:38:12,642 --> 01:38:14,366
But...
935
01:38:16,103 --> 01:38:18,825
it is a very, very
hard thing to do,
936
01:38:22,360 --> 01:38:27,585
particularly when you've found that
you've been able to do something
937
01:38:27,698 --> 01:38:31,499
that so many others failed to do.
938
01:38:33,079 --> 01:38:34,507
Therefore...
939
01:38:41,963 --> 01:38:48,516
Actually, I have no real
defence for my actions,
940
01:38:48,636 --> 01:38:50,978
other than...
941
01:38:51,097 --> 01:38:57,615
I had no control over what I
said or did as Buddy Love.
942
01:39:16,706 --> 01:39:18,929
I can only say...
943
01:39:23,004 --> 01:39:25,559
I hope...
944
01:39:25,673 --> 01:39:28,181
I hope I haven't hurt anyone...
945
01:39:28,301 --> 01:39:30,025
hurt anyone.
946
01:39:31,971 --> 01:39:34,111
I didn't mean to hurt anyone.
947
01:39:34,223 --> 01:39:37,028
I didn't mean to do...
948
01:39:37,143 --> 01:39:40,778
anything that wasn't
of a kind nature.
949
01:39:45,401 --> 01:39:49,415
Learning a lesson in life is...
950
01:39:49,530 --> 01:39:52,631
is never...
951
01:39:52,742 --> 01:39:56,460
is never really too late.
952
01:39:57,872 --> 01:40:01,590
And I think that the...
953
01:40:01,709 --> 01:40:05,807
the lesson that I learned
came just in time.
954
01:40:09,091 --> 01:40:12,192
I don't want to...
955
01:40:12,303 --> 01:40:15,902
I don't want to be
something that I'm not.
956
01:40:16,015 --> 01:40:18,440
I didn't like being someone else.
957
01:40:20,019 --> 01:40:23,535
At the same time,
I'm very glad I was.
958
01:40:25,274 --> 01:40:29,039
'Cause I found out something
that I never knew.
959
01:40:33,908 --> 01:40:36,416
You might as well like yourself.
960
01:40:39,080 --> 01:40:43,130
Just think about all the time you're
going to have to spend with you.
961
01:40:43,251 --> 01:40:44,845
And...
962
01:40:47,755 --> 01:40:49,184
Well...
963
01:40:54,095 --> 01:40:57,646
If you don't think much of
yourself, how can others?
964
01:40:57,765 --> 01:41:00,700
That's what I found out.
965
01:41:19,203 --> 01:41:23,301
Dr Warfield, I'm very sorry and...
966
01:41:25,418 --> 01:41:28,684
I like it here at the
university very much.
967
01:41:28,796 --> 01:41:31,814
I hope that...
968
01:41:31,924 --> 01:41:38,193
I hope that after you hear the facts, you
won't think too terribly wrong of me.
969
01:41:38,306 --> 01:41:41,940
I love everybody here and I...
970
01:41:42,059 --> 01:41:47,201
I wouldn't really like
to leave... actually.
971
01:42:31,275 --> 01:42:34,709
Can I be of any
assistance, Professor?
972
01:42:40,910 --> 01:42:44,426
No, thank you very much. I'll...
973
01:42:44,539 --> 01:42:50,724
I'll have to just try and work
this out myself, thank you.
974
01:42:50,837 --> 01:42:55,563
Well, there's really nothing
to work out, Professor,
975
01:42:55,675 --> 01:42:59,903
other than understand that
976
01:43:00,012 --> 01:43:06,731
just being one person is more than
enough for any human being to handle.
977
01:43:09,021 --> 01:43:12,039
Do you mean that...
978
01:43:12,149 --> 01:43:16,828
- Well, you have to understand that...
- Sh!
979
01:43:16,946 --> 01:43:23,843
I'm only trying to say that I'd never want
to spend my life with anyone like Buddy.
980
01:43:26,622 --> 01:43:32,926
Being the wife of a professor
would be much more normal and...
981
01:43:33,045 --> 01:43:35,185
much happier.
982
01:43:39,760 --> 01:43:41,319
Oh, Stella!
983
01:43:43,723 --> 01:43:48,235
See, I... I told you
I'm accident prone.
984
01:44:08,539 --> 01:44:10,299
That's actually...
985
01:44:11,542 --> 01:44:16,470
"The psychological properties
of visual quality and quantity
986
01:44:16,589 --> 01:44:22,810
"can be represented conveniently
by a three-dimensional diagram.
987
01:44:22,929 --> 01:44:27,109
Three-dimensional diagram,
right. Oddly enough...
988
01:44:27,225 --> 01:44:30,990
Thanks, sonny. Thanks for
telling us where our kid works.
989
01:44:31,103 --> 01:44:35,248
Not so loud, Elmer, dear.
Loud? Who the devil's loud?
990
01:44:35,358 --> 01:44:39,076
Oh-oh! Whoah-oh!
991
01:44:40,446 --> 01:44:43,547
Marge, Marge, Marge, Marge.
992
01:44:43,866 --> 01:44:48,046
Hey, class, how are you?
Good to be amongst.
993
01:44:50,831 --> 01:44:53,090
Well, well...
994
01:44:54,836 --> 01:45:00,606
If it isn't the square bookworm
we laughingly referred to as our son.
995
01:45:01,968 --> 01:45:04,559
Here, bookworm, have a cigar.
996
01:45:04,679 --> 01:45:09,108
Go ahead, go on. Pure Havana,
straight from Havana, yeah.
997
01:45:09,225 --> 01:45:14,699
Cost us $6 million ransom.
Pretty good, huh?
998
01:45:15,273 --> 01:45:17,828
Good to see you again, Julius.
999
01:45:17,942 --> 01:45:20,913
Mush and hush. Mouth,
mouth, hush, mush.
1000
01:45:21,028 --> 01:45:25,375
Here, now, back, back.
Hush. Nothing.
1001
01:45:26,826 --> 01:45:32,596
Here it is, kids. Are you tired of being
a square? Tired of a dull existence?
1002
01:45:32,707 --> 01:45:36,507
Well, for one dollar, the
tenth part of a sawbuck,
1003
01:45:36,627 --> 01:45:38,969
try Kelp's Kool Tonic.
1004
01:45:39,088 --> 01:45:41,940
You, too, can be the
life of the party.
1005
01:45:42,049 --> 01:45:43,809
He's right, kids, it's a gasser.
1006
01:45:43,926 --> 01:45:47,775
Step right up, folks.
Be somebody, be anybody.
1007
01:45:49,807 --> 01:45:53,276
- Sixteen bottles, look, here.
- Five...
1008
01:45:56,480 --> 01:45:58,573
Wait, wait, wait, Stella.
1009
01:45:58,691 --> 01:46:01,364
Wait, sweetheart, what have I done?
1010
01:46:01,485 --> 01:46:03,662
What has he done? What will I do?
1011
01:46:03,779 --> 01:46:07,462
I know what you'll do.
Do you have the licence?
1012
01:46:07,575 --> 01:46:10,925
- Yes, here it is, dear.
- What are we waiting for?
1013
01:46:11,037 --> 01:46:15,086
What about the formula, what
about Mother, what about Father?
1014
01:46:15,208 --> 01:46:19,436
What's done is done. And we
have our own lives to live.
1015
01:46:19,545 --> 01:46:21,934
Come on, let's go.
1016
01:46:23,466 --> 01:46:28,809
Yes, actually, Stella, what's
right is right, let's split.
1017
01:47:24,235 --> 01:47:25,533
Subtitles by Julie Donaldson
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