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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:42,226 --> 00:01:45,363 Miss Lemmon! Miss Lemmon! 2 00:01:45,479 --> 00:01:47,537 Miss Lemmon! 3 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,369 What? 4 00:01:51,485 --> 00:01:53,293 Doctor Warfield! 5 00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:56,077 Miss Lemmon, get Professor Kelp in here immediately. 6 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:59,881 But, Dr Warfield, I think Professor Kelp has a class right now. 7 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:03,593 He had a class. Can't you hear? 8 00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:05,384 Now, get him! 9 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,565 Fire's up here. 10 00:02:17,094 --> 00:02:19,602 Get the axe! Get the axe! 11 00:02:21,849 --> 00:02:25,567 All right, men, all together at the door. 12 00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:31,785 Look out! Look out! Look out! 13 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:49,807 Oh, oh... I beg your pardon. 14 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,771 Oh, but this is terrible! 15 00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,435 Oh...! 16 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:59,936 Oh... Oh... 17 00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:01,981 Oh, my...! 18 00:03:03,724 --> 00:03:06,066 Professor Kelp? 19 00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:13,284 Are you all right? And if you are, where are you all right? 20 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:18,288 Oh, my... 21 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,725 Dr Warfield wants to see you in his office. 22 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,697 - Dr Warfield? - Yes, right away. 23 00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:48,034 I used too much... 24 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,295 Kelp. 25 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:27,717 How long have you been on the faculty of this university? 26 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:32,174 Well, now, I would say, er... 27 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:37,632 prior to my exposure as a student counsellor, USC, three years... 28 00:05:37,753 --> 00:05:40,641 No, I went to post-grad, naturally, two years... No... 29 00:05:40,756 --> 00:05:44,060 I had a botany exposure in one particular school... 30 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:48,855 I had decided, pre-med, botany, whatever, I would prefer the sciences... 31 00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:52,240 I think I should go back to when I graduated... 32 00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:54,325 How long?! 33 00:06:11,495 --> 00:06:13,921 Two years and 22 minutes now. 34 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:18,137 Kelp, as I recall, upon your arrival here, 35 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:21,223 I told you and the other new faculty members, 36 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:26,599 I will not stand for any member of staff utilising the university's facilities 37 00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:29,227 for his or her own personal experiments. 38 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:32,282 Did I not make myself perfectly clear? 39 00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:36,110 Good, I knew my memory served me well. 40 00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:40,205 And Kelp, wasn't it approximately six weeks later 41 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:44,034 that you conducted a rather interesting experiment before your class? 42 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:49,627 Let me see... I think it had something to do with an additive to gasolene 43 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:54,255 for the purpose of increasing the efficiency of the combustion engine. 44 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:59,050 - Right? - Yes, it was something to that effect... 45 00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,938 Do you recall what that additive was? 46 00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:06,274 Yes, as a matter of fact, now that you bring it up, the additive was 47 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:11,726 3 parts carbon, 5 parts hydrogen, 1 part nitrogen, 3 parts oxygen. 48 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:14,485 - Which, of course, is? - Nitroglycerine. 49 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,776 - The results were? - Negative. 50 00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:18,786 - And? - Noisy. 51 00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,704 Noisy! 52 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:26,585 It was the worst explosion in the history of this or any other university. 53 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:30,745 That was two years ago and they're still talking about it today. 54 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:34,585 Now you mention it, I saw young Phips the other day. 55 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,295 You recall Arnold Phips was in my class that day? 56 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:40,470 Yes, really, what did he have to say? 57 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:44,552 He's feeling much better and the bandages should be off in two weeks. 58 00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:47,773 Oh, well, a couple... Exactly! That's exactly what I mean! 59 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,608 You are a menace. 60 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:55,532 Professor Kelp, believe me, I know what I'm talking about. 61 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:58,659 Kelp, it's human nature. 62 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:03,033 Kelp, people just don't like teachers blowing up their kids. 63 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:10,206 Kelp, try to understand that I understand 64 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:15,761 that scientists and creators have their little eccentricities. 65 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:19,718 Einstein hated haircuts, da Vinci loved to paint and Newton... 66 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,889 Didn't he have something to do with figs? 67 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:29,064 So therefore I, too, realise that you have many of the same eccentricities. 68 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:33,522 Leave them in the locker when you come in in the morning, Professor. 69 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,941 And feel free to take them home at night. 70 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,537 All right, Kelp, simmer down and relax. 71 00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:51,622 I'm sure we won't have to have another talk like this again. Am I correct? 72 00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:55,588 Oh, without question, you're absolutely... 73 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:58,506 yes, we'll never have to correct our talk. 74 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,180 We won't ever speak... 75 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:04,643 That is, we'll never have to talk again. We just never will discuss talking. 76 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:08,351 Er, we shouldn't really converse about speaking. 77 00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:12,396 Professor, our discussion has come to an end. 78 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,567 - Thank you, Dr... - Kelp. 79 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,237 Yes? 80 00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,157 Your watch... 81 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,692 does it... 82 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,453 always? 83 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:27,874 Oh, no, just when I open... 84 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,381 Those are your greens. 85 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,935 Hi, how are you? 86 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,993 "Therefore, through history, 87 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:06,864 "man has been curious..." 88 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:10,248 - Professor Kelp. - Yes, Worfshefski? 89 00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:14,457 - I have to go... - You have to go? 90 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:17,756 Since when did you find it necessary to ask permission to go? 91 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:22,759 No, well, what I meant to say, Professor Kelp, was that... 92 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,889 I have to go to football practice. 93 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,349 Football practice? 94 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,052 At this hour? What about your studies? 95 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:34,855 Well, Mr Coughman, the coach, 96 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:38,567 he asked me to try and get off my first class this morning... 97 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,864 Get off your first class? 98 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,530 Did he, now? To get off your first class? 99 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:48,576 Mr Worfshefski, had you learned anything in your first class, 100 00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:51,459 and I refer to the elementary class, 101 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:55,831 you might not be in such dire need of learning now. 102 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:58,917 Your request is denied. Please sit down. 103 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:02,502 I don't want to hear another word about your stupid practice. 104 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:08,009 You don't have no call to go yelling at me like that, Professor Kelp. 105 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:12,887 Worfshefski, I might have been a little rash. 106 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:16,605 That wasn't very nice calling my practice stupid. 107 00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:19,854 I meant I was stupid in assuming practice was stupid. 108 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:23,356 Naughty, naughty, naughty. 109 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,949 - Teacher! - Well, you shouldn't be upset. 110 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:28,409 W... W... Worfshefski, you're breaking my... 111 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,990 There goes the tibia. Worfshefski, you're... Worfshefski! 112 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,497 You must realise that... 113 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,712 You don't realise what you're doing, Worfshefski. 114 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:40,538 Worfshefski, you don't realise what you're doing. 115 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,504 Well, just don't do something, sit there! 116 00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:52,347 Er, that is... class dismissed! 117 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,388 You may go. 118 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:02,070 Can I be of any assistance, Professor Kelp? 119 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,492 Oh, er... 120 00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:13,738 Thank you, Miss Purdy, you're very, very considerate. 121 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:16,330 Actually, I would appreciate the assistance 122 00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:23,081 for were it not for you assisting me I might very well be here all semester. 123 00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:27,674 Well, er, let's start with the book. 124 00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:31,257 Yeah... I don't know, I... 125 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,893 You have to... The, er... 126 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,143 Wait, it's connected, you better not press that. 127 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,859 Just pull it out, Miss Purdy. 128 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,278 Oh, that really snapped. 129 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,779 - I'm sorry. - That's all right. 130 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:52,658 - Try leaning. - Oh, no, no, no, no... 131 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,992 Let me just... Let me have this arm... 132 00:12:56,108 --> 00:13:00,954 Just may I have that arm? All right, you just hold some of the body... 133 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,092 Thank you, thank you. 134 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,876 - Thank you, Miss Purdy. - Are you all right, Professor? 135 00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:13,965 Oh, yes, this is very embarrassing, Miss Purdy. 136 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:16,094 Why don't you call me Stella, Professor? 137 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,554 I thought it was Stella Purdy. 138 00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:22,936 Oh, you mean to call you Stella? How stupid of me. Sorry. 139 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,560 I will, stupid... Er, Stella. 140 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:29,113 I'm very upset. It's very embarrassing. 141 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:37,116 Honestly, Professor, you shouldn't let a big ox like that bother you. 142 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:42,125 He's the typical bully that loves picking on a small man. 143 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:46,465 Yes, yes, you're right, Miss Purdy, 144 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:51,005 but you'd best run along or you'll miss your next class. 145 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,930 You're all right? 146 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:58,811 Oh, yes, as I said, I'm just embarrassed. I'm fine, thank you. 147 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:11,115 Er, Miss Purdy... 148 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,738 Miss Pur... Excuse me. 149 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,367 The, er... 150 00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:37,222 He's a typical bully that loves picking on a small man... 151 00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:41,135 picking on a small man... picking on a small man... 152 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,748 I think I broke myself. 153 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:46,996 Wrong way, sir. This is the gym. I take it you're new? 154 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:51,293 - Well, I'm not brand new. - No, I mean a new student. 155 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,973 I'm terribly sorry, sir. Are you hurt? 156 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:07,181 Well, actually, if you would say that a man with an ulcer, 157 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:11,611 a nail in his shoe and a splinter in his finger was then struck by lightning... 158 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:15,272 If you could say he wasn't hurt then I'm not hurt. 159 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,029 Good. By the way, we don't wear glasses at Vic Tanny's. 160 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,071 Fine, I'll just take these off. 161 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:23,372 I didn't realise that you're not supposed to, er... 162 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:27,497 There's nowhere really that I... Is there some place I could put? 163 00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:31,875 - Shall I put these in a locker? - I'd appreciate it. You're very kind. 164 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:36,338 I would've put them there had I known that there was a restriction. 165 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:39,887 Some people use them for a façade, I wear them for eyes. 166 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:43,598 You see, "for eyes", it's a play on "eyes". 167 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:47,595 I hope I did nothing wrong by wearing them. I didn't realise. 168 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:51,149 If we could get started. I do have a class and need to get going. 169 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,985 - Come with me. - Wonderful. 170 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:57,489 I've never done this before. I don't know where to begin. 171 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,324 We start right here. 172 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,910 Identical twins. 173 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:05,829 - No, that's a pulling machine. - A pulling machine? What does it do? 174 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:11,665 - You pull it! 15 or 20 pulls to begin with. - Oh, I see. 175 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:14,123 - And take it easy. - Naturally. 176 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:17,545 I wouldn't strain myself for the world. Thank you very much. 177 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:20,431 You're welcome. Er, happy muscles. 178 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,928 Yes, I certainly do. 179 00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:33,225 Oh, yes, I've seen that in those magazines. 180 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,443 Oh, that's invigorating. 181 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,414 Oh, that's terrific. 182 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:58,672 I'm going to have a great deal of fun with this, I can tell. 183 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:05,471 "the various aspects, of course, is relativity to hydrogen. 184 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:12,683 "There is hydrogen, duly explosive and more devastating than the atomic. 185 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:19,152 "There is equally the devastation in nitrogen... nitrogen, equally..." 186 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:40,395 I couldn't help but notice - I was standing here - 187 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:46,117 that's amazing, the way you push those things up there. 188 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:49,032 It must take a great deal of patience. 189 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,654 And a little muscle. 190 00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:55,824 Oh, yes. Well, you certainly are... Yes, you are... 191 00:19:55,945 --> 00:20:00,541 I'd love to be able to... I would really enjoy trying that some time. 192 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:04,044 I don't think you'd have the patience for it. 193 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,179 I have the other thing you mentioned: A little muscle. 194 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:11,257 I say, that was, er, sort of a corker! 195 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,553 Here, enjoy yourself. 196 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:32,821 I, er... I suspect it was somewhat heavier than I... 197 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,970 - uncanny. - I agree, Doctor. 198 00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:56,475 But there are a couple of points that I neglected to mention. 199 00:20:56,589 --> 00:21:01,102 Specifically, the day I went to Vic Tanny, I got on the scale, 200 00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:03,691 as they normally do, to check you in, 201 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:07,854 and I weighed 153 pounds, and then after six months, 202 00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:13,318 I weighed myself on that very same scale, and I found that I weighed 151. 203 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:17,157 Very interesting, Professor Kelp. 204 00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:23,288 But I am surprised that a man with your education and background 205 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:26,508 should be intimidated by a bully to this extent. 206 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:31,013 Plus, you must know, only some men react to bodybuilding exercise, 207 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,679 whereas others just don't. 208 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:41,230 Professor, revenge can't be that important to you. 209 00:21:41,342 --> 00:21:44,111 I must take objection there, Doctor. 210 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:47,155 Revenge might have been the motivating force, 211 00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:51,528 but I feel that curiosity has taken over where revenge began. 212 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:56,904 I am more or less being compelled by completing something that I started. 213 00:21:57,024 --> 00:22:00,458 I must finish what I start, finish what I start. 214 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:03,243 I admire a man who likes to see something through, 215 00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,955 but your six months have failed. 216 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:10,339 - What will you do now? - I actually don't know, Doctor. 217 00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:13,390 That's why I wanted to see you. 218 00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:16,968 I had one plan and I thought I'd mention it to you. 219 00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:22,181 Chemistry is probably what I know best, that's all I know, really. 220 00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:25,354 Some of the world's finest pharmaceutical companies 221 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:30,646 make bodybuilding minerals, vitamins, chemicals all based on chemistry, 222 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,820 so I'd approach it from a chemistry standpoint. 223 00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:36,408 To prove a point, I'll show you... 224 00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:40,869 Oh, Professor, excuse me, I seem to have run out of time. 225 00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:42,959 I'm due at the hospital. 226 00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:48,591 I'm terribly sorry, I never realised the time. In fact, I have a class... 227 00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:58,935 Go ahead, but I'd like to browse around if it's all right. 228 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:01,054 Not at all. 229 00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:06,646 - I hope you find what you're looking for. - You're terribly kind. Thank you. 230 00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:13,657 Let's see, anatomy, body structure, structure of body muscle... 231 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:39,598 "Man's growth, physically and mentally. 232 00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:44,854 "A man's mind, from childhood to old age, never stops growing. 233 00:23:44,966 --> 00:23:50,226 "Not in size or by measure, but by constant learning and knowledge. 234 00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:55,404 "On the other hand, man's body stops at a point, 235 00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:57,860 "that of completion of the anatomy, 236 00:23:57,979 --> 00:24:01,495 "yet we have learned, through chemistry... " Ha, ha, ha! 237 00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:05,041 "man can grow further with the aid of additional elements." 238 00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:57,417 Seven weeks and 13 experiments have gone by with little or no strides made, 239 00:24:57,538 --> 00:25:01,553 but today I'm certain my formula will work, 240 00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:06,228 so certain that I plan trying it on myself tonight. 241 00:25:20,603 --> 00:25:22,031 Tonight. 242 00:25:31,155 --> 00:25:32,915 Oh, I'm really... 243 00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:39,087 Oh, Miss Purdy, I'm terribly sorry. Just let me get you up there, dear. 244 00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:43,599 That's just ridiculous. I never... I just swung the door... 245 00:25:43,709 --> 00:25:48,518 It's all right. You just knocked the breath out of me. 246 00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:52,776 - So stupid of me. - I'm perfectly all right. No harm done. 247 00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:57,528 - That's fine. - Did anyone invite you for tonight? 248 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:01,191 Invite me? I don't think so... Where? 249 00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:06,867 The class is having a mid-term party at the Purple Pit. We'd love you to join us. 250 00:26:06,983 --> 00:26:11,330 Thank you, it's terribly considerate and kind of you, and I appreciate it, 251 00:26:11,445 --> 00:26:15,460 and I've always said there should be a closer interrelationship 252 00:26:15,575 --> 00:26:18,841 between the student and the faculty based on better learning, 253 00:26:18,953 --> 00:26:23,514 yet the Purple Pit is off limits to the faculty of the university. 254 00:26:23,624 --> 00:26:25,053 Didn't you know? 255 00:26:25,168 --> 00:26:28,434 Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry, Professor. 256 00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:31,219 I guess it slipped my mind, 257 00:26:31,340 --> 00:26:36,897 but the Pit's never been what it's supposed to be, by reputation anyway. 258 00:26:37,013 --> 00:26:41,407 You know, I, too, have heard it's a wild, terrible place, 259 00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:47,453 when it's really just a quaint spot where the students can talk and relax 260 00:26:47,565 --> 00:26:50,500 and just generally get acquainted. 261 00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:55,787 And when you really get down to it, it's quite dull. 262 00:27:26,854 --> 00:27:31,663 - broads. - They'll be glad. You gotta do it. 263 00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:33,828 Why not? 264 00:27:33,945 --> 00:27:36,749 Stella, couldn't you talk Kelp into coming? 265 00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:41,460 Can you imagine the professor here? He'd break into a rash. 266 00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:45,805 Don't be too sure. Professor Kelp's just the kind of guy who might fool you. 267 00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:49,551 I bet he likes to get out on his own a little. 268 00:27:49,669 --> 00:27:55,522 I'll bet you right now he's probably on his way to a secret rendezvous 269 00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:58,817 with a mysterious, dark-haired female. 270 00:28:39,510 --> 00:28:41,437 Come in, Julius. 271 00:28:49,979 --> 00:28:53,329 Er, how are you tonight, Jennifer? 272 00:28:53,441 --> 00:28:56,114 - How are you, Julius? - I'm fine. 273 00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:57,664 I am, too-lius. 274 00:28:57,778 --> 00:29:02,125 Now, be very quiet, Jennifer. We have a lot of work to do. 275 00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:05,591 - Tonight's the big night. - Keep very quiet. 276 00:29:05,703 --> 00:29:11,010 He's got a lot of work to do. Tonight's the big night. The big night. 277 00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:45,044 Well, we're just about ready, Jennifer. 278 00:29:45,159 --> 00:29:50,170 You might be ready, Julius, but if I were you, I'd think about it. 279 00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:54,221 Think, think, you'd better think. 280 00:29:54,335 --> 00:29:56,593 Better think about it. 281 00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:07,748 I told you, Julius. I told you, Julius. 282 00:33:07,862 --> 00:33:12,256 I told you, Julius. I told you... 283 00:34:05,378 --> 00:34:09,606 Thank you very much, sir. We know you'll be very happy. 284 00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:13,066 And you look just stunning. 285 00:34:13,177 --> 00:34:18,105 And we'll have your other suits and things no later than next week. 286 00:36:24,851 --> 00:36:29,411 - What'll it be? - Ah, that's no way to talk! Tsk-tsk! 287 00:36:29,522 --> 00:36:33,240 "What'll it be?" That's no way to treat a customer. 288 00:36:33,359 --> 00:36:35,286 Come here. Pay attention. 289 00:36:35,403 --> 00:36:38,172 You'll feel better and customers'll be happier. 290 00:36:38,281 --> 00:36:42,165 Try this: "What'll it be, hmm?" Try that. 291 00:36:42,285 --> 00:36:45,089 Come on, we haven't got all night. Try it. 292 00:36:45,204 --> 00:36:47,926 What'll it be... mmm? 293 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:51,675 Good, that was wonderful. Did anyone ever tell you you couldn't sing? 294 00:36:51,794 --> 00:36:56,889 Nice. Make me an Alaskan Polar Bear Heater on the double. Come on. 295 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:04,190 Say, why don't you pick on somebody your own disposition? 296 00:37:05,391 --> 00:37:10,912 Oh, please, Mr Bar-room Brawler, don't hurt me or anything like that. 297 00:37:25,536 --> 00:37:28,388 - Did you say Polar Bear Heater? - No, you did. 298 00:37:28,497 --> 00:37:32,595 - I said an Alaskan Polar Bear Heater. - I never heard of that. 299 00:37:32,710 --> 00:37:35,479 Until now. All right, pay attention. 300 00:37:35,588 --> 00:37:38,309 - Two shots of vodka. - Two shots of vodka. 301 00:37:38,424 --> 00:37:40,018 - A little rum. - A little rum. 302 00:37:40,134 --> 00:37:42,690 - Some bitters. - Bitters. 303 00:37:42,803 --> 00:37:46,948 - And a smidgin of vinegar. - And a smidgin of... 304 00:37:47,058 --> 00:37:50,028 You gonna drink this or rub it on your chest? 305 00:37:50,144 --> 00:37:55,451 That was terrific! Did you hear that, folks? A regular George Bernard Shaw. 306 00:37:55,566 --> 00:37:59,746 Good boy! And he did it all by himself. You did it all by yourself without help. 307 00:37:59,862 --> 00:38:02,714 That's terrific. And with your own big mouth. 308 00:38:02,823 --> 00:38:07,087 If you don't want the cocktail shaker in your gums, shut up and pay attention. 309 00:38:07,203 --> 00:38:09,545 - Is that clear? Repeat after me: I'll... - I'll... 310 00:38:09,664 --> 00:38:12,848 - I'll pay attention. - I'll pay attention. 311 00:38:12,959 --> 00:38:14,767 All right, let's continue. 312 00:38:14,877 --> 00:38:16,804 - A shot of vermouth. - A shot of vermouth. 313 00:38:16,921 --> 00:38:18,563 - A shot of gin. - A little gin. 314 00:38:18,673 --> 00:38:20,433 - A little brandy. - A little brandy. 315 00:38:20,550 --> 00:38:22,108 - Lemon peel. - Lemon peel. 316 00:38:22,218 --> 00:38:23,942 - Orange peel. - Orange peel. 317 00:38:24,053 --> 00:38:25,813 Cherry. 318 00:38:25,930 --> 00:38:28,069 - Some more Scotch. - More Scotch. 319 00:38:28,182 --> 00:38:33,193 Now, mix it nice, then pour it into a tall glass. 320 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,829 I never tried this. Mind if I take a sip? 321 00:38:38,943 --> 00:38:41,036 Go right ahead. 322 00:38:44,991 --> 00:38:46,751 Not bad. 323 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:28,877 Hi. 324 00:39:28,993 --> 00:39:31,335 I don't know any better place 325 00:39:31,454 --> 00:39:35,254 to get to know a lovely lady than on the dance floor. 326 00:39:35,374 --> 00:39:39,768 - I hope you don't refuse. - I'm sorry, I'm with... 327 00:39:39,879 --> 00:39:44,475 - Move along, sonny. She's with us. - Sh! Sit down. 328 00:39:44,592 --> 00:39:48,986 Come here, honey. Stand up a minute. Just there. I'll be right back. 329 00:39:49,096 --> 00:39:52,612 We don't want trouble, do we? Sit like nice boys. 330 00:39:52,725 --> 00:39:56,905 Would you like me to tell Dr Warfield, my personal friend, of your bad manners? 331 00:39:57,021 --> 00:40:00,075 He would be very displeased. So cool it. 332 00:40:00,191 --> 00:40:06,329 If you're nice lads, cute little chappies, later on I'll let you twirl my key-chain. 333 00:40:06,447 --> 00:40:08,872 Now, relax. 334 00:40:08,991 --> 00:40:12,176 It's all straight, baby. Put your arm up there. 335 00:40:12,286 --> 00:40:16,218 Remember how they do that in the movies? They walk like high class. 336 00:40:16,332 --> 00:40:19,516 Dancing, nice. We're hugging. It's wonderful. 337 00:40:19,627 --> 00:40:21,766 Clear the floor. 338 00:40:47,989 --> 00:40:50,377 I know what you're thinking. 339 00:40:51,325 --> 00:40:54,592 Where's he been all my life, right? 340 00:40:56,122 --> 00:40:58,298 No, not exactly. 341 00:40:59,208 --> 00:41:04,729 And that you're happy the way I handled those three goons, right? 342 00:41:06,424 --> 00:41:10,735 Well, normally, I would have belted them. 343 00:41:12,346 --> 00:41:15,364 But I didn't want to muss myself up, 344 00:41:15,474 --> 00:41:20,118 and have you dance with a sloppy guy. Dig? 345 00:41:23,149 --> 00:41:28,409 Then, you restrained yourself, just for little old me. 346 00:41:28,529 --> 00:41:30,918 I knew you'd appreciate it. 347 00:41:32,033 --> 00:41:35,466 I do a lot of nice things. 348 00:41:36,954 --> 00:41:43,971 Is that really the case or is this line 27 a for young college girls? 349 00:41:44,086 --> 00:41:49,857 Aw, now, you see? You went and done it. 350 00:41:51,135 --> 00:41:56,526 One of the rare times in my life when I dig down into the soul, 351 00:41:56,641 --> 00:41:59,148 and you doubt my veracity? 352 00:41:59,268 --> 00:42:00,946 Well, that hurts. 353 00:42:03,940 --> 00:42:08,536 Well, it's not your veracity that I doubt. 354 00:42:12,031 --> 00:42:15,749 - The music's stopped. - Yeah, I heard. 355 00:42:17,161 --> 00:42:19,717 Hold it a second. Hold... Hold it. 356 00:42:19,830 --> 00:42:23,015 We'll make our own music, gorgeous. Just hold it. 357 00:42:23,125 --> 00:42:26,891 You and you stay. Tubby, go rest your thumbs. I'll drive. 358 00:42:27,004 --> 00:42:30,189 - Sweetie, go get your lips pressed. - Split. - Listen... 359 00:42:30,299 --> 00:42:34,479 You listen. Sit down. You'll be thrilled. Believe you me. 360 00:42:34,595 --> 00:42:37,530 Sit and listen and watch. 361 00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,400 Mood is wrong! 362 00:42:39,517 --> 00:42:43,365 Innkeeper, got sexy lights? Lay it on me. 363 00:42:43,479 --> 00:42:46,366 Better. Better. Now, watch, baby. 364 00:42:47,775 --> 00:42:49,915 Every move a picture. 365 00:43:00,496 --> 00:43:05,507 ♪ That old black magic has me in its spell 366 00:43:05,626 --> 00:43:10,519 ♪ That old black magic that you weave so well 367 00:43:10,631 --> 00:43:15,808 ♪ Those icy fingers up and down my spine 368 00:43:15,928 --> 00:43:21,023 ♪ The same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine 369 00:43:21,142 --> 00:43:25,951 ♪ The same old tingle that I feel inside 370 00:43:26,063 --> 00:43:31,075 ♪ And then that elevator starts its ride 371 00:43:31,194 --> 00:43:33,915 ♪ And down, down, down I go 372 00:43:34,030 --> 00:43:36,372 ♪ Round, round, round I go 373 00:43:36,490 --> 00:43:40,374 ♪ Like a leaf that's caught in the tide 374 00:43:41,078 --> 00:43:43,254 ♪ I should stay away 375 00:43:43,372 --> 00:43:45,928 ♪ But what can I do? 376 00:43:46,042 --> 00:43:48,467 ♪ I hear your name 377 00:43:48,586 --> 00:43:51,556 ♪ And I'm aflame 378 00:43:51,672 --> 00:43:56,233 ♪ Aflame with such a burning desire 379 00:43:56,344 --> 00:43:59,978 ♪ That only your kiss 380 00:44:00,097 --> 00:44:02,320 ♪ Can put out the fire 381 00:44:02,433 --> 00:44:06,910 ♪ You're the lover I have waited for 382 00:44:07,021 --> 00:44:10,572 ♪ You're the mate that fate had me created for 383 00:44:12,276 --> 00:44:16,955 ♪ And every time your lips meet mine 384 00:44:17,073 --> 00:44:19,878 ♪ Baby, down and down and down I go 385 00:44:19,992 --> 00:44:22,334 ♪ Round and round and round I go 386 00:44:22,453 --> 00:44:26,930 ♪ In a spin, loving the spin that I am in 387 00:44:27,041 --> 00:44:30,261 ♪ Under that old black magic called... 388 00:44:30,378 --> 00:44:32,803 ♪ Old black magic called... 389 00:44:32,922 --> 00:44:38,182 ♪ Old black magic called love 390 00:44:38,302 --> 00:44:39,861 ♪ Love 391 00:44:40,596 --> 00:44:43,022 ♪ Love ♪ 392 00:44:53,776 --> 00:44:58,752 Back. Back! Thank you, kiddies. You're all very nice little boys and girls. 393 00:44:58,865 --> 00:45:03,792 If you're real nice, tomorrow night I might ration out a little more of this rare talent. 394 00:45:03,911 --> 00:45:07,760 Now, back to your seats, back. Go on, go on. 395 00:45:07,874 --> 00:45:09,765 Back, back, back. 396 00:45:11,252 --> 00:45:15,219 They're nice kids, all nice. All nice kids. 397 00:45:15,339 --> 00:45:17,847 They have very good taste, I might add. 398 00:45:17,967 --> 00:45:23,274 I'm glad. It would be a shame to waste the genius of yours on the riff-raff. 399 00:45:23,389 --> 00:45:26,360 Honey, I always say, if you're good and you know it, 400 00:45:26,475 --> 00:45:30,194 why waste time beating around the bush, true? 401 00:45:31,355 --> 00:45:37,209 And I always say that to love yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance, 402 00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:42,545 and after watching you, I know you and you will be very happy together. 403 00:45:42,658 --> 00:45:45,843 Just a minute, sweetheart. I don't recall dismissing you. 404 00:45:46,913 --> 00:45:50,346 You rude, discourteous egomaniac. 405 00:45:50,458 --> 00:45:52,764 You're crazy about me, right? 406 00:45:52,877 --> 00:45:55,468 This morning, looking in the mirror, 407 00:45:55,588 --> 00:45:59,555 I enjoyed what I saw so much, I couldn't tear myself away. 408 00:45:59,675 --> 00:46:01,104 Have some, baby? 409 00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:05,568 If I were your baby, I'd be swinging from a tree. 410 00:46:05,681 --> 00:46:10,408 - Aw, Stella, that's not nice. - How do you know my name? 411 00:46:12,188 --> 00:46:13,948 Well, we were introduced. 412 00:46:14,065 --> 00:46:18,459 No, we weren't introduced, or I would have remembered your name. 413 00:46:18,569 --> 00:46:20,377 Tell me how you knew. 414 00:46:20,488 --> 00:46:25,582 You've heard of ESP, extrasensory perception. I'm a firm believer in ESP... 415 00:46:25,701 --> 00:46:28,257 Hey, buddy, you really sang up a storm. 416 00:46:28,371 --> 00:46:31,222 Yeah, I know. Thanks a lot. 417 00:46:31,332 --> 00:46:35,050 Well, you heard him. Everybody knows Buddy. 418 00:46:35,169 --> 00:46:36,763 - Buddy? - Yeah. 419 00:46:36,879 --> 00:46:42,140 Well, is that it? Or do you find it difficult remembering two of them? 420 00:46:42,260 --> 00:46:45,064 Hey, you're kooky. That was cute. 421 00:46:45,179 --> 00:46:47,817 "Do you find it difficult remembering two of them?" 422 00:46:47,932 --> 00:46:51,033 Wonderful! I knew you'd be a barrel of laughs. 423 00:46:51,143 --> 00:46:53,781 No, I don't find it difficult remembering two. 424 00:46:53,896 --> 00:46:55,989 - ♪ Love, love, love... ♪ - Buddy... 425 00:46:56,107 --> 00:46:59,373 Love. That's it. Buddy Love. 426 00:46:59,485 --> 00:47:01,044 Buddy Love? 427 00:47:01,153 --> 00:47:04,705 Of the Los Angeles Loves. But that's of no consequence. 428 00:47:04,824 --> 00:47:07,960 - Shall we make a move? - Where? 429 00:47:08,077 --> 00:47:10,668 - Do you have a car? - Of course. 430 00:47:10,788 --> 00:47:14,174 - Crazy. Let's split. - Let's split what? 431 00:47:14,292 --> 00:47:16,468 - Is it new? - Not brand new. 432 00:47:16,586 --> 00:47:21,561 - I've driven it a whole week. - Nutty! Let's go. 433 00:47:40,234 --> 00:47:44,498 Here, baby. Wipe the lipstick off, slide over here and let's get started. 434 00:47:45,781 --> 00:47:51,421 We have started and finished. And for an encore, get an earful of the following. 435 00:47:51,537 --> 00:47:54,009 I'll admit you're a very sharp-looking guy. 436 00:47:54,123 --> 00:47:56,892 And you certainly have that proverbial gift of the gab. 437 00:47:57,001 --> 00:47:59,509 I've only gone this far 438 00:47:59,629 --> 00:48:04,936 because when you meet someone like you, your curiosity gets stirred up. 439 00:48:05,051 --> 00:48:09,279 Well, mister, this is one kitten that won't be smitten by that little old devil. 440 00:48:09,388 --> 00:48:14,400 So turn this car around and take me right back where you picked me up. 441 00:48:14,519 --> 00:48:17,026 That is, where we met. 442 00:48:17,146 --> 00:48:19,915 I said wipe the lipstick off. 443 00:48:32,245 --> 00:48:34,302 Was it something I said? 444 00:48:34,413 --> 00:48:36,553 You must be deranged. 445 00:48:40,962 --> 00:48:46,981 If you don't believe in idle chatter and a lot of small talk, yeah, I'm deranged. 446 00:48:47,093 --> 00:48:51,606 You'd prefer I conduct myself like the little boys you usually date? 447 00:48:52,682 --> 00:48:55,699 Nothing delights us more than being enjoyed, 448 00:48:55,810 --> 00:48:59,954 appreciated or just plain liked by someone, right? 449 00:49:01,482 --> 00:49:04,702 You're not going to tell me 450 00:49:04,819 --> 00:49:10,672 that you're here with me now because I don't appeal to you. 451 00:49:10,783 --> 00:49:17,681 And I'm sure that you can see I dig you pretty good, too, right? 452 00:49:17,790 --> 00:49:21,473 Well, isn't it easier to say so? 453 00:49:21,586 --> 00:49:24,603 Would you prefer I used that phoney dialogue 454 00:49:24,714 --> 00:49:29,641 I'm sure you've heard at least a half a dozen times before? 455 00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:31,900 So you see, Stell, 456 00:49:32,013 --> 00:49:37,451 when I tell you that you're a vibrant, beautiful, exciting woman, 457 00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:41,954 you can believe me, you can bet it's the truth. 458 00:49:42,064 --> 00:49:49,294 Because I'd have to be a complete idiot not to want to hold you and kiss you, 459 00:49:49,405 --> 00:49:53,550 and make our time together a warm, wonderful moment 460 00:49:53,659 --> 00:50:01,091 that could grow and develop into many moments, many hours, 461 00:50:01,209 --> 00:50:03,467 and into something really important. 462 00:50:05,713 --> 00:50:09,858 Nobody ever said anything like that to me before. 463 00:50:10,426 --> 00:50:16,280 Nor can I ever remember a more honest approach to two people being together. 464 00:50:17,892 --> 00:50:20,697 That's what I want you to understand. 465 00:50:20,811 --> 00:50:24,992 Actually, I've never had, er... 466 00:50:25,107 --> 00:50:26,785 er, that is, er... 467 00:50:28,444 --> 00:50:31,249 er, what I mean is, er... 468 00:50:48,047 --> 00:50:49,689 Miss Purdy... 469 00:50:52,552 --> 00:50:54,229 Hello, Miss Purdy! 470 00:50:55,304 --> 00:50:57,730 Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Professor. 471 00:50:57,849 --> 00:51:01,697 That's perfectly all right, Miss Purdy, I hope I didn't wake you. 472 00:51:01,811 --> 00:51:07,664 I don't recall excluding you from the other class members from taking this test. 473 00:51:07,775 --> 00:51:13,748 I'm terribly sorry, Professor, I was just getting ready to start. 474 00:51:13,865 --> 00:51:18,258 Oh, just getting ready to start. Splendid, splendid. Just getting ready. 475 00:51:20,079 --> 00:51:25,090 Students, please be aware that the test papers must go on my desk for marking, 476 00:51:25,209 --> 00:51:28,844 also please be equally aware of tomorrow's problem: 477 00:51:28,963 --> 00:51:32,728 H20 plus NO2 as we did the other day, if you recall. 478 00:51:32,842 --> 00:51:36,026 I'm awfully sorry, and if it would be agreeable, 479 00:51:36,137 --> 00:51:39,321 I'd like to stay after my last class and take the test. 480 00:51:39,807 --> 00:51:45,494 Well, that's highly irregular, Miss Purdy, but, er... we... we're... 481 00:51:45,605 --> 00:51:47,614 Are you all right, Miss Purdy? 482 00:51:47,732 --> 00:51:53,122 I'll know better tonight. I mean, yes, sir, I'm quite all right. 483 00:51:53,237 --> 00:51:56,706 Oh, fine, then I'll see you tonight... 484 00:51:56,824 --> 00:52:00,423 That is, after your last class, as you said, to take the test. 485 00:52:00,953 --> 00:52:03,260 - Yes. - Fine. I'll hold your paper. 486 00:52:03,372 --> 00:52:07,091 - Thank you. - You're quite welcome. 487 00:52:07,210 --> 00:52:11,141 Be certain that it's after your last class. 488 00:52:11,255 --> 00:52:14,938 I'll be marking these papers accordingly. 489 00:53:37,425 --> 00:53:39,019 Professor. 490 00:53:40,303 --> 00:53:43,273 Ye... Ye... Oh, yes, Gibson? 491 00:53:43,389 --> 00:53:46,739 - I've got that book you asked for. - Thank you. 492 00:53:46,851 --> 00:53:50,450 - My pleasure. - Yeah, wonderful. 493 00:53:50,563 --> 00:53:52,241 Oh... 494 00:53:52,356 --> 00:53:54,698 Now, then... 495 00:53:54,817 --> 00:54:00,623 As you might very well recall, yesterday in "Discussing Biology": 496 00:54:00,740 --> 00:54:06,843 "The long legs of the beetle and the wonderful body of the ant." 497 00:54:07,872 --> 00:54:10,641 No, what I meant to say was: 498 00:54:10,750 --> 00:54:13,175 "The beautiful hair of the blonde fish." 499 00:54:13,294 --> 00:54:17,474 No, actually... Er, no... "The legs..." 500 00:54:18,174 --> 00:54:20,231 "terrific looking..." 501 00:54:21,093 --> 00:54:24,728 I am completely aware of what chemistry and drugs can do 502 00:54:24,847 --> 00:54:27,569 to assist and aid the body and mind. 503 00:54:27,683 --> 00:54:33,204 Yet I don't really believe what happened to me comes strictly from chemistry. 504 00:54:33,314 --> 00:54:37,032 There must be an explanation for this phenomenon. 505 00:54:39,362 --> 00:54:41,704 - Jennifer... - Hi, sweetie. 506 00:54:41,822 --> 00:54:46,419 I knew I was on the right track, but I never figured on anything like this. 507 00:54:46,536 --> 00:54:49,802 I must have hit on heredity. Yep. 508 00:54:49,914 --> 00:54:53,881 That's it. Heredity. Let's see... 509 00:54:57,129 --> 00:54:59,187 Elmer... 510 00:54:59,298 --> 00:55:00,809 Elmer! 511 00:55:00,925 --> 00:55:07,194 If you're not in here in 10 seconds, your dinner will go to your family: The hogs! 512 00:55:07,306 --> 00:55:08,735 Elm...! 513 00:55:08,850 --> 00:55:11,986 Don't you sneak up on me. 514 00:55:12,103 --> 00:55:20,377 I was just finishing the ironing of your underthings, Edwina, darling. 515 00:55:20,486 --> 00:55:23,706 Love... Angel... 516 00:55:24,740 --> 00:55:31,342 And all the other nice things I wish I could think of, so you won't hit... 517 00:55:31,455 --> 00:55:33,844 or yell... 518 00:55:33,958 --> 00:55:36,679 - Honey... - Honey?! 519 00:55:36,794 --> 00:55:44,060 Don't you "honey" me, you... you artificial son of a lizard. 520 00:55:44,177 --> 00:55:49,235 Now, sit down, and for the third time today, 521 00:55:49,348 --> 00:55:54,194 make a slob of yourself trying to find your mouth. 522 00:56:07,825 --> 00:56:09,336 Idiot! 523 00:56:09,452 --> 00:56:14,214 - Can't you eat with your mouth closed? - Not until I get something in it, dearest. 524 00:56:14,332 --> 00:56:17,005 What was that? 525 00:56:17,126 --> 00:56:19,847 Nothing, nothing. It's quite all right. 526 00:56:19,962 --> 00:56:22,814 You're right. You're always right. 527 00:56:26,219 --> 00:56:28,228 My poor Dada. 528 00:56:28,638 --> 00:56:31,110 My poor Dada. 529 00:56:42,026 --> 00:56:45,827 Well, Jennifer, if that's what's to be then I'll be it. 530 00:56:45,947 --> 00:56:50,625 You know what they say, Julie-baby: Que sera, sera. 531 00:56:53,621 --> 00:56:56,971 Oh, Jennifer, you know what I'm thinking? 532 00:56:58,668 --> 00:57:02,219 If this formula were to fall into the wrong hands, 533 00:57:02,338 --> 00:57:05,641 the consequences could be devastating. 534 00:57:05,758 --> 00:57:08,527 Now, it's much too complicated to memorise 535 00:57:08,636 --> 00:57:12,271 and far too vitally important to destroy. 536 00:57:12,390 --> 00:57:17,615 The only two people that I know I can trust are my mother... 537 00:57:17,728 --> 00:57:19,868 and my father. 538 00:57:19,981 --> 00:57:22,038 What I should do... 539 00:57:23,192 --> 00:57:26,626 is mail my formula, a copy, 540 00:57:27,071 --> 00:57:29,876 to Mother and Father 541 00:57:29,991 --> 00:57:35,251 with instructions that were anything to happen to me, 542 00:57:35,371 --> 00:57:41,723 they are to send a copy of the formula and my original copy to Washington. 543 00:57:41,836 --> 00:57:43,679 George or Martha? 544 00:57:43,796 --> 00:57:45,556 No, Washington D... 545 00:57:47,633 --> 00:57:51,434 You're a silly bird with a big mouth. 546 00:58:33,513 --> 00:58:36,068 - Professor Kelp... - Yes? 547 00:58:42,730 --> 00:58:47,207 - I'm ready, Professor. - That's very... Yeah... What? 548 00:58:47,318 --> 00:58:49,411 Did you forget about my test? 549 00:58:50,947 --> 00:58:53,585 No... er... 550 00:58:53,699 --> 00:58:58,545 Actually, no... I... I'm terribly sorry... I did... I have it here... 551 00:58:58,663 --> 00:59:03,590 Why don't you sit down at your table and I'll get your paper. 552 00:59:03,709 --> 00:59:09,314 I actually didn't, er, really forget. I, er... 553 00:59:14,595 --> 00:59:18,313 I have so many members of the... 554 00:59:20,434 --> 00:59:23,025 class, it's difficult to... 555 00:59:27,233 --> 00:59:30,002 Oh, yes, here we are. 556 00:59:31,445 --> 00:59:34,250 It's very difficult to... 557 00:59:36,826 --> 00:59:39,678 You do want me to take the test? 558 00:59:39,787 --> 00:59:42,176 I'm terribly sorry, Miss Purdy. 559 00:59:42,290 --> 00:59:48,179 Certainly, of course, it's necessary for you to take it. 560 00:59:48,671 --> 00:59:51,725 - Miss Purdy... - Yes, Professor? 561 00:59:51,841 --> 00:59:56,733 I was going to say, I sincerely hope that you don't mind if I don't linger. 562 00:59:56,846 --> 01:00:00,196 I have some very essential matters that I must take care of. 563 01:00:00,308 --> 01:00:04,737 Certainly, Professor Kelp. And thank you for understanding. 564 01:00:05,646 --> 01:00:09,791 I understand far better than you would ever believe, honey... 565 01:00:09,901 --> 01:00:13,001 Er, Miss Purdy, that is. 566 01:00:13,112 --> 01:00:18,503 You just go right on and thank you for... 567 01:00:33,424 --> 01:00:36,893 Julius! In the afternoon? 568 01:00:39,597 --> 01:00:41,275 Hiya, chicky-baby. 569 01:00:43,184 --> 01:00:45,857 - How's it going? - Fine. 570 01:00:46,729 --> 01:00:51,787 Crazy. I thought I'd visit your little land of learning. Cute. Cute pad. 571 01:00:51,901 --> 01:00:56,663 What happened to you last night? What d'you run away like that for? 572 01:00:56,781 --> 01:00:59,586 I thought you saw a ghost or something. 573 01:00:59,700 --> 01:01:01,840 Oh, yeah. How about that? 574 01:01:01,953 --> 01:01:03,962 That's why I stopped by. 575 01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:07,798 I thought I'd lay it on you, but this ain't the place to talk. 576 01:01:07,917 --> 01:01:13,972 What do you say we meet later at the Purple Pit? We could talk better there. 577 01:01:14,090 --> 01:01:17,191 I don't know. You're pretty weird. And I don't want... 578 01:01:17,301 --> 01:01:20,153 - Sh, sh. 10 o'clock? - Perfect. 579 01:01:20,263 --> 01:01:22,189 Figures. 580 01:01:22,306 --> 01:01:25,656 Hey, honey, you look a little drawn. 581 01:01:27,395 --> 01:01:34,791 Did you find it a little difficult going all this time without seeing me? Sh, sh. 582 01:01:34,902 --> 01:01:36,995 Don't fight it. 583 01:01:37,113 --> 01:01:44,627 I don't want to hang you up, honey. I see you're doing your little test here. 584 01:01:44,745 --> 01:01:48,380 But don't worry, beautiful. Science'll do fine without you. 585 01:01:48,875 --> 01:01:53,435 But man needs you the most. This man. Come here. 586 01:01:55,131 --> 01:02:00,687 That's good for you. If you want more, call for refills. 587 01:02:00,803 --> 01:02:02,397 Later. 588 01:02:04,307 --> 01:02:05,901 Write nice. 589 01:02:45,223 --> 01:02:47,861 I just told you the time. It's still 11.15. 590 01:02:47,975 --> 01:02:50,910 - Yeah, I know. - OK, kids. 591 01:02:51,020 --> 01:02:53,077 You can all relax. 592 01:02:54,398 --> 01:02:56,621 Watch where you're going, Mac. 593 01:02:58,402 --> 01:03:02,002 Now that your desperate attempt at having a good time's flunked, 594 01:03:02,114 --> 01:03:05,299 have no fear, Buddy's here. 595 01:03:06,077 --> 01:03:08,253 Let the good times roll. 596 01:03:08,913 --> 01:03:11,302 Hiya, baby. 597 01:03:11,415 --> 01:03:13,473 There's my date. 598 01:03:13,584 --> 01:03:16,009 That sharp-looking chick's my date. 599 01:03:45,074 --> 01:03:48,875 Cheer up, baby, your prize package has arrived. 600 01:03:50,037 --> 01:03:53,304 - Hello, stale ones. - You're pretty late, Mr Love. 601 01:03:53,416 --> 01:03:59,519 Hold it, baby, you got it a little mixed up. You're just way too early, that's all. 602 01:03:59,630 --> 01:04:03,562 Be a nice girl and plant one over there. You'll feel better. 603 01:04:03,676 --> 01:04:05,852 Come on, the best things in life are free. 604 01:04:05,970 --> 01:04:10,150 And you'll admit, you've got one of the best things. Lay it on me. 605 01:04:10,266 --> 01:04:11,741 You're impossible. 606 01:04:11,851 --> 01:04:15,071 Yeah, well, have some impossible. Come on. 607 01:04:20,276 --> 01:04:24,504 See, wasn't that worth waiting for? 608 01:04:24,614 --> 01:04:27,287 Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-UH! 609 01:04:28,701 --> 01:04:33,178 You gotta admit, I'm not one of the run-of-the-mill-type creeps 610 01:04:33,289 --> 01:04:35,797 that hang around this joint, right? 611 01:04:35,917 --> 01:04:38,223 You got a good thing, don't louse it up. 612 01:04:38,336 --> 01:04:43,062 Isn't it enough that you've got the swingingest and the best? 613 01:04:43,174 --> 01:04:47,485 You want me to be on time, too? 614 01:04:47,595 --> 01:04:51,278 - OK, OK, you win. - Naturally. 615 01:04:53,476 --> 01:04:58,950 Please tell me why you ran away last night and left me just sitting there? 616 01:04:59,065 --> 01:05:04,788 Hey, hey, don't get all riled up. Cool it! Cool it! 617 01:05:04,904 --> 01:05:09,713 I don't want to get into no discussions on an empty stomach anyhow. This is flat. 618 01:05:11,911 --> 01:05:15,178 Vampira, bring your kit. 619 01:05:20,628 --> 01:05:22,187 You rang? 620 01:05:22,296 --> 01:05:25,730 You don't sound exactly too thrilled to serve the leader. 621 01:05:25,842 --> 01:05:30,734 On the contrary, I find it a rare privilege to serve His Royal Lowest. 622 01:05:30,847 --> 01:05:36,652 You're cute, like a black widow spider. Shut your mouth and just take the order. 623 01:05:36,769 --> 01:05:41,330 I've decided I shall not continue the flight with the fuel I got. 624 01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:45,953 So give me a boilermaker, and heavy on the boil. 625 01:05:46,070 --> 01:05:49,788 Go on, go on, go on. Come on, I haven't got all night. 626 01:05:54,412 --> 01:05:56,054 She's crazy about me also. 627 01:05:57,456 --> 01:06:02,551 Now, Lost Weekend Junior, you've ordered your drink. 628 01:06:02,670 --> 01:06:05,890 About last night. Would you like to explain what happened? 629 01:06:06,007 --> 01:06:09,939 I told you I was going to tell you. It's... 630 01:06:10,052 --> 01:06:12,726 Why don't we table it a while, sweetie? 631 01:06:12,847 --> 01:06:17,858 I mean, all the kids, they're kind of waiting. It's Dullsville out. 632 01:06:17,977 --> 01:06:22,288 I'll be back. You take five. And I love you, baby. Mean it sincerely. 633 01:06:22,398 --> 01:06:25,071 You wait for me, huh? 634 01:06:25,193 --> 01:06:29,160 Oh, there you are, sweets. Thanks a lot. 635 01:06:37,288 --> 01:06:39,012 Sickening, isn't he? 636 01:06:40,166 --> 01:06:43,302 But... he's got something. 637 01:06:44,462 --> 01:06:48,476 And I mean to find out what it is. 638 01:06:49,342 --> 01:06:51,814 I think I'll do... 639 01:06:52,970 --> 01:06:59,322 do a tune that I'm going to record for Poverty Records. 640 01:07:00,269 --> 01:07:03,204 They're the only ones who'll have me. 641 01:07:08,402 --> 01:07:14,872 ♪ I'm in the mood for love 642 01:07:16,661 --> 01:07:18,718 ♪ Simply... Simp... 643 01:07:18,829 --> 01:07:21,551 ♪ Simply because... 644 01:07:22,792 --> 01:07:26,343 ♪ you're near me 645 01:07:26,462 --> 01:07:28,934 ♪ Fun... Fun... Fun... 646 01:07:29,048 --> 01:07:35,601 ♪ F... Funny but when you're near me 647 01:07:35,721 --> 01:07:40,033 ♪ I... I'm... 648 01:07:40,142 --> 01:07:46,530 ♪ I'm in the mood for love... ♪ 649 01:07:54,699 --> 01:07:56,341 That's... 650 01:07:56,450 --> 01:08:00,465 I think that'll be it for a while, kids. 651 01:08:02,957 --> 01:08:05,726 Later, Stella. Wait... 652 01:08:09,881 --> 01:08:12,816 I feel like the girl on her wedding night 653 01:08:12,925 --> 01:08:16,975 whose absent-minded husband goes home to his mother for dinner. 654 01:08:31,903 --> 01:08:33,995 Where is he? 655 01:08:34,113 --> 01:08:37,831 - What time is it? - I think he's getting his watch fixed. 656 01:08:37,950 --> 01:08:41,918 - Think he had an accident? - Where is he? 657 01:08:42,038 --> 01:08:45,507 - Ten to one he doesn't show. - Hope nothing's wrong. 658 01:09:51,941 --> 01:09:53,665 The... Ow! 659 01:10:40,031 --> 01:10:42,456 ♪ Round and round and round I go 660 01:10:42,575 --> 01:10:44,714 ♪ In a spin 661 01:10:44,827 --> 01:10:46,967 ♪ Loving the spin that I am in 662 01:10:47,079 --> 01:10:50,346 ♪ Under that old black magic called 663 01:10:50,458 --> 01:10:52,800 ♪ Old black magic called 664 01:10:52,919 --> 01:10:57,930 ♪ Old black magic called love 665 01:10:58,049 --> 01:10:59,892 ♪ Love... ♪ 666 01:11:00,885 --> 01:11:07,106 "One chemical, having many individual parts... 667 01:11:08,518 --> 01:11:13,778 "can always be broken down... broken down, always... 668 01:11:14,690 --> 01:11:19,287 "to such a degree that we never need to be in the dark... 669 01:11:19,403 --> 01:11:22,670 "about the whys and wherefore of their capacity. 670 01:11:22,782 --> 01:11:26,381 "And, to me, carbon dioxide 671 01:11:26,494 --> 01:11:29,167 "has always been a gas." 672 01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:32,967 No, I didn't mean... Yes... 673 01:11:33,084 --> 01:11:36,350 Actually, it kinda swings and... 674 01:11:52,186 --> 01:11:58,621 The formula needs to be stronger to ensure more time. 675 01:11:58,734 --> 01:12:01,408 Stronger... ensure more time. 676 01:13:01,672 --> 01:13:03,350 Tired. 677 01:13:03,466 --> 01:13:04,894 Tired. 678 01:13:05,009 --> 01:13:08,644 Yes, Dr Warfield would appreciate it very much. 679 01:13:08,763 --> 01:13:10,238 Can I go right in? 680 01:13:11,974 --> 01:13:16,617 The faculty is always ready to serve the needs of the students. 681 01:13:16,729 --> 01:13:22,832 - I'm terribly sorry I'm late, Dr Warfield. - Any time, Miss Purdy, any time at all. 682 01:13:22,944 --> 01:13:24,372 Thank you. 683 01:13:25,404 --> 01:13:29,288 Therefore, the success or failure of the prom 684 01:13:29,408 --> 01:13:34,503 rests on your shoulders as members of the Entertainment Committee. 685 01:13:34,622 --> 01:13:39,717 Miss Lemmon, will you send in the proposed list of the entertainments. 686 01:13:42,129 --> 01:13:47,271 Good, good, "The Lightlighters". Wonderful... Love folk singers. 687 01:13:47,385 --> 01:13:54,021 ♪ The blue-nosed beetle likes to needle all the people... ♪ 688 01:13:54,141 --> 01:13:57,408 Who is this "Wickern and Wett"? The comedy team? 689 01:13:57,520 --> 01:13:59,162 Good, good, perfect. 690 01:13:59,272 --> 01:14:01,578 I thought they'd split up. 691 01:14:01,691 --> 01:14:06,168 Who's this "Buddy Love"? What's a Buddy Love? 692 01:14:06,737 --> 01:14:10,041 He's a local boy. He's just terrific. 693 01:14:10,157 --> 01:14:12,831 - He's our new leader. - Leader? 694 01:14:12,952 --> 01:14:16,717 - He's, like, too much. - Like too much what? 695 01:14:16,831 --> 01:14:20,549 He's one of the truly great swingers of all time. 696 01:14:21,752 --> 01:14:24,308 Swingers... Swingers of all time... 697 01:14:25,047 --> 01:14:27,769 It seems that you students know Mr Love quite well. 698 01:14:27,884 --> 01:14:32,195 What about the faculty members? Anyone here familiar with Mr Love? 699 01:14:32,305 --> 01:14:36,105 - Oh, he's the greatest. - Do you know Mr Love? 700 01:14:36,225 --> 01:14:37,784 Oh... Me? 701 01:14:37,894 --> 01:14:42,241 No... I meant... Well, I heard all the other students... 702 01:14:42,356 --> 01:14:46,075 - Professor Kelp, I heard that myself. - Yes, you did. 703 01:14:46,194 --> 01:14:48,831 Anyone here know Mr Love? 704 01:14:50,156 --> 01:14:54,419 Very well, in that case, I will have to meet him myself. 705 01:14:54,535 --> 01:14:57,636 Have him come to my office at three o'clock. 706 01:14:57,747 --> 01:15:04,051 Dr Warfield, we don't exactly know how to get in touch with Mr Love, 707 01:15:04,170 --> 01:15:06,179 on such short notice, that is. 708 01:15:06,297 --> 01:15:11,438 What do you mean? Is he some kind of roving bum or something? 709 01:15:11,552 --> 01:15:15,946 - I've never heard of such a thing. - I might see him tonight. 710 01:15:16,057 --> 01:15:20,866 That's not good enough. I want to see him today at three. 711 01:15:20,978 --> 01:15:24,245 I beg your pardon, Dr Warfield, but I... 712 01:15:24,357 --> 01:15:31,290 I just might be able to see my way clear, possibly, to contact this Mr... Love. 713 01:15:32,281 --> 01:15:35,133 Professor Kelp, I don't care who contacts him. 714 01:15:35,243 --> 01:15:39,803 Just get him here by three o'clock today or forget the whole thing. 715 01:15:39,914 --> 01:15:41,342 Meeting dismissed. 716 01:16:11,737 --> 01:16:14,922 - Where's your pad? - About a mile from campus. 717 01:16:15,032 --> 01:16:19,878 I have bought the craziest new drapes... You mean my dictation pad. 718 01:16:19,996 --> 01:16:23,880 - Sorry, I'll get it immediately. - Never mind. What did you want? 719 01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:29,307 Mr Love is waiting outside to see you and he's a gasser... 720 01:16:29,422 --> 01:16:31,561 I mean, shall I ask him to come in? 721 01:16:31,674 --> 01:16:36,187 - If you can do so without fainting. - Yes, sir. 722 01:16:53,112 --> 01:16:56,415 You gonna make that your life's work, baby? 723 01:16:56,532 --> 01:16:58,506 Hey, here. 724 01:17:01,370 --> 01:17:03,463 Mr Love? 725 01:17:03,581 --> 01:17:07,132 Buddy to you. What's your moniker? What do they call you? 726 01:17:07,251 --> 01:17:10,934 Mortimer, Harvey, Norman, Homer? Which is it? 727 01:17:11,422 --> 01:17:13,598 You may call me Dr Warfield, young man. 728 01:17:13,716 --> 01:17:15,559 OK, Doc it is. 729 01:17:15,676 --> 01:17:19,774 What kinda doctor are you, sweetie? Sawbones, is that the idea? 730 01:17:19,889 --> 01:17:23,156 Or a headshrinker? I went to them once, you dig? 731 01:17:23,267 --> 01:17:27,828 Headshrinker. Told me I had a dual personality, split, schizo and all that jazz. 732 01:17:27,939 --> 01:17:32,866 He charges me $82, so I give him $41 and say get the rest from the other guy. 733 01:17:37,532 --> 01:17:39,090 What's eating you? 734 01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:46,014 Mr Love, I sent for you in regard to the senior prom. 735 01:17:46,749 --> 01:17:49,803 However, after seeing you, my door... 736 01:17:49,919 --> 01:17:56,816 Would you think I was terribly rude if I asked you the name of your tailor? 737 01:17:56,926 --> 01:18:01,735 - That's wild. Absolutely gorgeous. - Oh, you mean this? 738 01:18:01,848 --> 01:18:06,028 - Just beautiful. - Actually, it's just a ready-made suit. 739 01:18:06,143 --> 01:18:07,654 You're kidding? 740 01:18:07,770 --> 01:18:13,077 Well, sort of a handmade-to-order ready-made suit off the rack. 741 01:18:13,192 --> 01:18:16,542 Just magnificent. I think you're modest. Is that the picture, sweetie? 742 01:18:16,654 --> 01:18:21,131 You've got the perfect physique and anything you put on swings, right? 743 01:18:21,242 --> 01:18:23,251 Ever consider going into show business? 744 01:18:23,369 --> 01:18:25,462 - I did a few school plays... - Nutty... 745 01:18:25,580 --> 01:18:28,680 Girls backstage mob you, swamp you? Is that the picture? 746 01:18:28,791 --> 01:18:32,723 - Stay there, don't move. - You might say that in my time... 747 01:18:32,837 --> 01:18:34,680 Sorry, Doc. You all right? 748 01:18:34,797 --> 01:18:38,064 Did you really do a job in show business? 749 01:18:38,176 --> 01:18:41,027 Anyone ever say you got a Cary Grant-ish look? 750 01:18:41,137 --> 01:18:43,562 Ever see him walk towards a girl? 751 01:18:43,681 --> 01:18:48,242 Try that walk. Let me see, I'm just curious. Walk like Cary Grant. Beautiful. 752 01:18:48,352 --> 01:18:51,287 Beautiful. Sure you're doing the right thing working here? 753 01:18:51,397 --> 01:18:53,240 What did you do? Shakespeare? 754 01:18:53,357 --> 01:18:55,035 - I knew it... Hamlet... - Hamlet... 755 01:18:55,151 --> 01:18:57,576 - Would you do it? - Mr Love, it's been so long... 756 01:18:57,695 --> 01:19:02,457 Would you do it for me, Doctor? Come on, baby. It's gotta be wild. 757 01:19:03,117 --> 01:19:06,052 - Go ahead. - Let's see... 758 01:19:06,162 --> 01:19:08,800 - To be... - Hold it! Do it right. 759 01:19:08,915 --> 01:19:11,422 Get on the stage. Let me be your audience. 760 01:19:11,542 --> 01:19:15,510 - The faculty...! - It's the best thing in the world for you. 761 01:19:15,630 --> 01:19:18,221 - Get up there and perform. - If you insist... 762 01:19:18,341 --> 01:19:21,192 - Let it out. - To be, or... 763 01:19:21,302 --> 01:19:25,613 Hold it. Let's make it a stage. Let's make it right. 764 01:19:25,723 --> 01:19:30,366 You're gonna be beautiful, just beautiful. Lay it on me. 765 01:19:30,478 --> 01:19:32,155 Am I in the light? 766 01:19:32,271 --> 01:19:34,660 - To be, or not... - Hold it! Do it right. 767 01:19:34,774 --> 01:19:39,085 Be in show business. Hamlet, right? You gotta play it all the way. 768 01:19:39,195 --> 01:19:43,838 Hamlet... Here, put it on. It's gonna make you feel beautiful. 769 01:19:43,950 --> 01:19:46,920 - I feel it already. - You'll play it like it's never been played. 770 01:19:47,912 --> 01:19:53,137 - Go on. Let it out. Enjoy it. - It's a difference... 771 01:19:53,251 --> 01:19:55,924 - To be, or... - Hold it. Do it right. Hamlet? 772 01:19:56,045 --> 01:19:59,680 A prince? You gotta go all the way with the sword. 773 01:19:59,799 --> 01:20:03,066 You dig Hamlet. Do it. Enjoy it. It's beautiful. 774 01:20:03,177 --> 01:20:06,397 Beautiful. You've wasted your life with this school jazz. 775 01:20:06,514 --> 01:20:10,113 Well, I've often thought of chucking it all... 776 01:20:10,226 --> 01:20:12,734 - To be, or... - Hold it. 777 01:20:12,854 --> 01:20:15,195 Royalty is one thing, a crown. 778 01:20:15,314 --> 01:20:18,332 Do it right. Hamlet. Do it right. 779 01:20:18,442 --> 01:20:21,247 - Have the crown. Be Hamlet. - My hat...! 780 01:20:21,696 --> 01:20:25,745 It's the way it should be. You've got the crown. 781 01:20:25,867 --> 01:20:30,178 - I think I have it. - Do Hamlet and really let it out. 782 01:20:30,288 --> 01:20:32,843 You're beautiful. 783 01:20:32,957 --> 01:20:36,640 To be, or not to be; that is the question: 784 01:20:36,752 --> 01:20:39,225 Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer 785 01:20:39,338 --> 01:20:43,187 The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune... 786 01:20:43,301 --> 01:20:47,101 - Oh, beautiful. Doctor, you choked me. - I'm not through... 787 01:20:47,221 --> 01:20:52,279 You choked me. It was gorgeous. The prettiest thing I've ever seen. 788 01:20:52,393 --> 01:20:54,569 - See you at the prom, Doc? - Oh, yes. 789 01:20:54,687 --> 01:20:57,456 - Behind the footlights? - We'll have you there... 790 01:20:57,565 --> 01:21:02,457 - I knew it, baby. You're beautiful. - Carry on the great tradition of theatre. 791 01:21:02,570 --> 01:21:07,248 - Practise that Shakespeare. - At the prom, Mr Love. 792 01:21:08,659 --> 01:21:13,255 To be, or not to be; that is the question... 793 01:21:41,234 --> 01:21:43,907 Jennifer, what am I to do, Jennifer? 794 01:21:44,028 --> 01:21:49,751 Have you ever thought of taking poison? Ha, ha, ha, ha, Julius, taking poison! 795 01:24:17,723 --> 01:24:19,615 Hi... Doctor. 796 01:24:20,893 --> 01:24:23,615 - Kelp. - Yes, sir? 797 01:24:23,729 --> 01:24:27,993 - Do you mind? - Not at all. Do you lead? 798 01:24:28,109 --> 01:24:30,664 I'm sorry. I did misunderstand. 799 01:24:30,778 --> 01:24:36,667 I get carried away, what with the music. It was a toe-tapper, I must admit. 800 01:24:36,784 --> 01:24:42,341 It's rare to hear instrumentation these days, what with folk singers, etc... 801 01:24:42,456 --> 01:24:45,593 Would you care for some refreshment, Miss Lemmon? 802 01:24:45,710 --> 01:24:51,052 Thank you, I think I would, but let me go. You don't have to bother. 803 01:24:51,174 --> 01:24:54,773 There's no bother. It would be my pleasure. 804 01:24:54,886 --> 01:24:58,520 - Kelp... - Yes, I'll have a lemonade, too. 805 01:24:58,639 --> 01:25:02,689 - Kelp, will you get us two lemonades? - I'm terribly sorry, Doctor. 806 01:25:02,810 --> 01:25:07,905 I was again so terribly distressed at that wonderful toe-tapper. 807 01:25:08,024 --> 01:25:10,330 Well, zip and I'm gone. 808 01:25:32,882 --> 01:25:34,560 Hi, Professor. 809 01:25:34,675 --> 01:25:36,649 - Oh, Stell. - Stell? 810 01:25:36,761 --> 01:25:39,945 That is, Miss Purdy... I'm sorry. 811 01:25:40,056 --> 01:25:44,616 How are you? Are you having a good time, dear? 812 01:25:44,727 --> 01:25:47,283 I'm having a good time, but... 813 01:25:47,396 --> 01:25:53,250 I'd have a much better time if somebody would ask me to dance. 814 01:26:02,495 --> 01:26:05,168 Cat got your tongue, Professor? 815 01:26:05,289 --> 01:26:09,683 No, the punch bowl has my arm. 816 01:26:11,003 --> 01:26:13,677 - I didn't realise... - Let me help you. 817 01:26:13,798 --> 01:26:18,275 Thank you. I guess I'm just accident prone. 818 01:26:18,386 --> 01:26:21,321 - Don't worry about it. - I won't. 819 01:26:21,430 --> 01:26:27,236 - Come on, let's dance. - Oh, yes, all right. Let me leave that. 820 01:26:27,353 --> 01:26:30,288 That sounds like a splendid idea. 821 01:27:00,428 --> 01:27:05,106 I neglected to mention, Miss Purdy, you're looking very beautiful this evening. 822 01:27:05,224 --> 01:27:08,444 You must be looking forward to seeing your Buddy Love tonight. 823 01:27:08,561 --> 01:27:13,239 - How did you know that? - Everyone knows he's appearing tonight. 824 01:27:13,357 --> 01:27:19,128 Oh... Here. I guess I'm looking forward to seeing him. 825 01:27:19,238 --> 01:27:21,876 But I can't figure out why. 826 01:27:23,409 --> 01:27:27,092 Well, he is quite good-looking, is he not? 827 01:27:27,205 --> 01:27:31,468 Oh, yes, he is, but that means nothing to me. 828 01:27:32,710 --> 01:27:39,014 He... I'm told he is a young man with a very nice personality. 829 01:27:40,927 --> 01:27:47,943 On the contrary, he's rude, disrespectful, self-centred and discourteous. 830 01:27:48,059 --> 01:27:50,650 Then it's not his nice personality. 831 01:27:50,770 --> 01:27:52,613 Hardly. 832 01:27:52,730 --> 01:27:55,155 I'm told that he's quite talented, though. 833 01:27:55,858 --> 01:28:01,545 Oh, yes, he's very talented. But talent comes in many forms. 834 01:28:01,656 --> 01:28:05,338 I believe intelligence is a greater talent than anything. 835 01:28:06,035 --> 01:28:13,098 If Buddy has any real intelligence, he has a fantastic talent for keeping it hidden. 836 01:28:13,209 --> 01:28:16,559 I see, well, then, evidently, Miss Purdy, 837 01:28:16,671 --> 01:28:21,646 whatever you see in this young man it must be very well buried. 838 01:28:23,219 --> 01:28:25,442 I think you're getting warm. 839 01:28:25,555 --> 01:28:29,439 Well, then, perhaps, and it's just a possibility, 840 01:28:29,559 --> 01:28:35,495 he chooses to keep the inner man locked up so that no one steps on him. 841 01:28:36,899 --> 01:28:41,044 But he should know I don't want to step on him. 842 01:28:41,153 --> 01:28:44,539 Maybe someday I'll get to prove it to him. 843 01:28:44,657 --> 01:28:49,466 If he ever unlocks that inner man and lets him loose, 844 01:28:49,579 --> 01:28:52,549 so that I can grab him and hold him. 845 01:28:52,665 --> 01:28:55,682 - I appreciate it. - What? 846 01:28:55,793 --> 01:28:58,514 That... What I meant was, that's very nice. 847 01:29:13,352 --> 01:29:17,367 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. It's show time. Gather round! 848 01:29:17,481 --> 01:29:19,907 We'll get the show on the road. 849 01:29:20,026 --> 01:29:24,455 Before we go on, I'd like you to meet some of the specialists: 850 01:29:24,572 --> 01:29:27,922 There's Butch Stone up there, you remember Butch. 851 01:29:30,411 --> 01:29:32,468 My kid brother, Stumpy Brown. 852 01:29:32,580 --> 01:29:36,345 Stumpy not only plays the trombone, but also sings. 853 01:29:36,459 --> 01:29:40,259 Butch Stone is known for 'A Good Man is Hard to Find'. 854 01:29:40,379 --> 01:29:44,062 We've a great show lined up for you, a few surprises... 855 01:29:44,175 --> 01:29:47,858 Why do men keep running away from me? 856 01:30:10,535 --> 01:30:12,259 The formula... 857 01:30:16,165 --> 01:30:18,472 - Jennifer! - Hi, there. 858 01:30:18,584 --> 01:30:20,262 Jennifer. 859 01:30:28,845 --> 01:30:31,352 My formula. 860 01:30:33,975 --> 01:30:35,818 Th-Th-The formula. 861 01:30:36,602 --> 01:30:41,281 Jennifer, you've eaten all of my formula. 862 01:30:42,608 --> 01:30:46,955 - Excuse me. - Oh, shut up, you stupid bird! 863 01:30:47,071 --> 01:30:50,172 Then I can't suggest you call your mother and father 864 01:30:50,283 --> 01:30:54,380 and get them to read the formula from the copy you sent... 865 01:30:54,495 --> 01:30:58,723 Oh, what a wonderful bird! Where's the phone? 866 01:31:02,086 --> 01:31:06,647 Long distance will be area code... Oh, yes, area code... 867 01:31:06,757 --> 01:31:10,558 Sp... Sp... Splendid idea, Jennifer. 868 01:31:13,764 --> 01:31:16,652 H... Hello, Father. 869 01:31:17,935 --> 01:31:21,120 Hello... I say, hello, Father. 870 01:31:21,230 --> 01:31:23,655 This is Julius. Yeah, I... 871 01:31:23,774 --> 01:31:26,828 Julius... J... Yes, your son. 872 01:31:26,944 --> 01:31:29,370 Would you be good enough, Dad, 873 01:31:29,488 --> 01:31:35,841 to open the formula for me and read it to me so I can mark it down. 874 01:31:35,953 --> 01:31:39,303 Yes, I certainly... Actually, I'd appreciate it, yes... 875 01:31:46,422 --> 01:31:49,357 It's just going to have to be enough. 876 01:32:22,208 --> 01:32:26,970 Where can he be? I hope nothing's happened to prevent his getting here. 877 01:32:27,088 --> 01:32:29,857 He better get here or there'll be a riot. 878 01:32:42,895 --> 01:32:46,530 Thank you. Thank you very much. 879 01:32:46,649 --> 01:32:49,240 Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the next performer 880 01:32:49,360 --> 01:32:52,378 is one of the easiest chores I've ever had. 881 01:32:52,488 --> 01:32:56,123 Simply because this card I'm holding is the announcement 882 01:32:56,242 --> 01:33:00,174 that the performer wants read exactly as written. 883 01:33:00,288 --> 01:33:02,464 Makes it easy. 884 01:33:02,582 --> 01:33:07,924 Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the world's greatest everything. 885 01:33:08,045 --> 01:33:11,182 The best dressed, the swingingest performer, 886 01:33:11,299 --> 01:33:15,527 and one of the nicest guys in the whole world. 887 01:33:15,636 --> 01:33:20,030 Here he is, the 1963 senior prom's answer to Don Juan, 888 01:33:20,141 --> 01:33:21,984 Mr Buddy Love. 889 01:33:52,006 --> 01:33:55,226 ♪ Up at dawn and sleepy and yawning 890 01:33:55,343 --> 01:33:59,357 ♪ Still the taste of wine 891 01:33:59,472 --> 01:34:02,941 ♪ Then I remember you're mine and... 892 01:34:03,059 --> 01:34:07,026 ♪ I've got a world that's fine 893 01:34:07,146 --> 01:34:10,496 ♪ What's before me? Routines that bore me 894 01:34:10,608 --> 01:34:13,116 ♪ Punch the clock at eight 895 01:34:14,654 --> 01:34:18,123 ♪ But what a lucky guy I am 896 01:34:18,241 --> 01:34:22,041 ♪ I've got a world that's great 897 01:34:22,161 --> 01:34:24,503 ♪ Atom bombs 898 01:34:24,622 --> 01:34:28,305 ♪ Cape Canaveral and false alarms 899 01:34:28,417 --> 01:34:32,017 ♪ Half the universe is up in arms 900 01:34:32,129 --> 01:34:37,437 ♪ So I flip a little, too Until I'm holding you 901 01:34:37,552 --> 01:34:41,021 ♪ What's the hassle? I'll buy the castle 902 01:34:41,138 --> 01:34:44,939 ♪ We can live like kings 903 01:34:45,059 --> 01:34:48,658 ♪ If we're together for ever 904 01:34:48,771 --> 01:34:50,496 ♪ I've got a world that... 905 01:34:50,606 --> 01:34:52,366 ♪ You've got a world that... 906 01:34:52,483 --> 01:34:56,877 ♪ We've got a world that swings 907 01:34:56,988 --> 01:35:00,539 ♪ I'd like to take you through this wild, wonderful venture 908 01:35:00,658 --> 01:35:04,708 ♪ Fly like a kite through space, no strings 909 01:35:04,829 --> 01:35:08,761 ♪ I don't want to lose that bell that rings 910 01:35:08,875 --> 01:35:10,718 ♪ I've got a world that... 911 01:35:10,835 --> 01:35:12,927 ♪ You've got a world that... 912 01:35:13,045 --> 01:35:20,275 ♪ We've got a world that swi-i-i-ings 913 01:35:20,970 --> 01:35:26,824 ♪ We've got a world that swings ♪ 914 01:35:43,075 --> 01:35:44,919 You're very wise. 915 01:35:46,829 --> 01:35:50,263 If you'll hold it a second, I'll thrill you some more. 916 01:35:50,374 --> 01:35:55,350 I'd like to do a tune for you that's been a favourite of the gang at the... 917 01:35:55,463 --> 01:35:58,932 you should pardon the expression, Dr Warfield... Purple Pit. 918 01:36:02,845 --> 01:36:07,737 You dig? It's that old standard, 'Black Magic'. 919 01:36:17,944 --> 01:36:21,128 ♪ That old... ♪ 920 01:36:48,850 --> 01:36:51,487 ♪ That old... ♪ 921 01:37:02,154 --> 01:37:04,543 I, er... 922 01:37:07,201 --> 01:37:11,714 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not usually at... 923 01:37:14,041 --> 01:37:19,218 I'm not usually at a loss for words, 924 01:37:19,338 --> 01:37:21,478 but if you'll just... 925 01:37:22,633 --> 01:37:25,307 bear with me a moment, I think I might be able to explain. 926 01:37:30,266 --> 01:37:34,280 It happened some time ago... 927 01:37:34,395 --> 01:37:39,406 being a scientist, I just happened to have stumbled on 928 01:37:40,902 --> 01:37:44,620 one of the curious mysteries of science. 929 01:37:46,199 --> 01:37:49,050 I found myself... 930 01:37:49,160 --> 01:37:56,223 so curious that I was unable to just stop. 931 01:37:56,334 --> 01:37:59,138 Nonetheless... 932 01:37:59,253 --> 01:38:03,398 I never really knew what was going to prevail. 933 01:38:04,759 --> 01:38:11,692 I do know now that I should've left it alone... actually. 934 01:38:12,642 --> 01:38:14,366 But... 935 01:38:16,103 --> 01:38:18,825 it is a very, very hard thing to do, 936 01:38:22,360 --> 01:38:27,585 particularly when you've found that you've been able to do something 937 01:38:27,698 --> 01:38:31,499 that so many others failed to do. 938 01:38:33,079 --> 01:38:34,507 Therefore... 939 01:38:41,963 --> 01:38:48,516 Actually, I have no real defence for my actions, 940 01:38:48,636 --> 01:38:50,978 other than... 941 01:38:51,097 --> 01:38:57,615 I had no control over what I said or did as Buddy Love. 942 01:39:16,706 --> 01:39:18,929 I can only say... 943 01:39:23,004 --> 01:39:25,559 I hope... 944 01:39:25,673 --> 01:39:28,181 I hope I haven't hurt anyone... 945 01:39:28,301 --> 01:39:30,025 hurt anyone. 946 01:39:31,971 --> 01:39:34,111 I didn't mean to hurt anyone. 947 01:39:34,223 --> 01:39:37,028 I didn't mean to do... 948 01:39:37,143 --> 01:39:40,778 anything that wasn't of a kind nature. 949 01:39:45,401 --> 01:39:49,415 Learning a lesson in life is... 950 01:39:49,530 --> 01:39:52,631 is never... 951 01:39:52,742 --> 01:39:56,460 is never really too late. 952 01:39:57,872 --> 01:40:01,590 And I think that the... 953 01:40:01,709 --> 01:40:05,807 the lesson that I learned came just in time. 954 01:40:09,091 --> 01:40:12,192 I don't want to... 955 01:40:12,303 --> 01:40:15,902 I don't want to be something that I'm not. 956 01:40:16,015 --> 01:40:18,440 I didn't like being someone else. 957 01:40:20,019 --> 01:40:23,535 At the same time, I'm very glad I was. 958 01:40:25,274 --> 01:40:29,039 'Cause I found out something that I never knew. 959 01:40:33,908 --> 01:40:36,416 You might as well like yourself. 960 01:40:39,080 --> 01:40:43,130 Just think about all the time you're going to have to spend with you. 961 01:40:43,251 --> 01:40:44,845 And... 962 01:40:47,755 --> 01:40:49,184 Well... 963 01:40:54,095 --> 01:40:57,646 If you don't think much of yourself, how can others? 964 01:40:57,765 --> 01:41:00,700 That's what I found out. 965 01:41:19,203 --> 01:41:23,301 Dr Warfield, I'm very sorry and... 966 01:41:25,418 --> 01:41:28,684 I like it here at the university very much. 967 01:41:28,796 --> 01:41:31,814 I hope that... 968 01:41:31,924 --> 01:41:38,193 I hope that after you hear the facts, you won't think too terribly wrong of me. 969 01:41:38,306 --> 01:41:41,940 I love everybody here and I... 970 01:41:42,059 --> 01:41:47,201 I wouldn't really like to leave... actually. 971 01:42:31,275 --> 01:42:34,709 Can I be of any assistance, Professor? 972 01:42:40,910 --> 01:42:44,426 No, thank you very much. I'll... 973 01:42:44,539 --> 01:42:50,724 I'll have to just try and work this out myself, thank you. 974 01:42:50,837 --> 01:42:55,563 Well, there's really nothing to work out, Professor, 975 01:42:55,675 --> 01:42:59,903 other than understand that 976 01:43:00,012 --> 01:43:06,731 just being one person is more than enough for any human being to handle. 977 01:43:09,021 --> 01:43:12,039 Do you mean that... 978 01:43:12,149 --> 01:43:16,828 - Well, you have to understand that... - Sh! 979 01:43:16,946 --> 01:43:23,843 I'm only trying to say that I'd never want to spend my life with anyone like Buddy. 980 01:43:26,622 --> 01:43:32,926 Being the wife of a professor would be much more normal and... 981 01:43:33,045 --> 01:43:35,185 much happier. 982 01:43:39,760 --> 01:43:41,319 Oh, Stella! 983 01:43:43,723 --> 01:43:48,235 See, I... I told you I'm accident prone. 984 01:44:08,539 --> 01:44:10,299 That's actually... 985 01:44:11,542 --> 01:44:16,470 "The psychological properties of visual quality and quantity 986 01:44:16,589 --> 01:44:22,810 "can be represented conveniently by a three-dimensional diagram. 987 01:44:22,929 --> 01:44:27,109 Three-dimensional diagram, right. Oddly enough... 988 01:44:27,225 --> 01:44:30,990 Thanks, sonny. Thanks for telling us where our kid works. 989 01:44:31,103 --> 01:44:35,248 Not so loud, Elmer, dear. Loud? Who the devil's loud? 990 01:44:35,358 --> 01:44:39,076 Oh-oh! Whoah-oh! 991 01:44:40,446 --> 01:44:43,547 Marge, Marge, Marge, Marge. 992 01:44:43,866 --> 01:44:48,046 Hey, class, how are you? Good to be amongst. 993 01:44:50,831 --> 01:44:53,090 Well, well... 994 01:44:54,836 --> 01:45:00,606 If it isn't the square bookworm we laughingly referred to as our son. 995 01:45:01,968 --> 01:45:04,559 Here, bookworm, have a cigar. 996 01:45:04,679 --> 01:45:09,108 Go ahead, go on. Pure Havana, straight from Havana, yeah. 997 01:45:09,225 --> 01:45:14,699 Cost us $6 million ransom. Pretty good, huh? 998 01:45:15,273 --> 01:45:17,828 Good to see you again, Julius. 999 01:45:17,942 --> 01:45:20,913 Mush and hush. Mouth, mouth, hush, mush. 1000 01:45:21,028 --> 01:45:25,375 Here, now, back, back. Hush. Nothing. 1001 01:45:26,826 --> 01:45:32,596 Here it is, kids. Are you tired of being a square? Tired of a dull existence? 1002 01:45:32,707 --> 01:45:36,507 Well, for one dollar, the tenth part of a sawbuck, 1003 01:45:36,627 --> 01:45:38,969 try Kelp's Kool Tonic. 1004 01:45:39,088 --> 01:45:41,940 You, too, can be the life of the party. 1005 01:45:42,049 --> 01:45:43,809 He's right, kids, it's a gasser. 1006 01:45:43,926 --> 01:45:47,775 Step right up, folks. Be somebody, be anybody. 1007 01:45:49,807 --> 01:45:53,276 - Sixteen bottles, look, here. - Five... 1008 01:45:56,480 --> 01:45:58,573 Wait, wait, wait, Stella. 1009 01:45:58,691 --> 01:46:01,364 Wait, sweetheart, what have I done? 1010 01:46:01,485 --> 01:46:03,662 What has he done? What will I do? 1011 01:46:03,779 --> 01:46:07,462 I know what you'll do. Do you have the licence? 1012 01:46:07,575 --> 01:46:10,925 - Yes, here it is, dear. - What are we waiting for? 1013 01:46:11,037 --> 01:46:15,086 What about the formula, what about Mother, what about Father? 1014 01:46:15,208 --> 01:46:19,436 What's done is done. And we have our own lives to live. 1015 01:46:19,545 --> 01:46:21,934 Come on, let's go. 1016 01:46:23,466 --> 01:46:28,809 Yes, actually, Stella, what's right is right, let's split. 1017 01:47:24,235 --> 01:47:25,533 Subtitles by Julie Donaldson 84833

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