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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,863 --> 00:00:05,566 Oh, my God, you are the stupidest dad in the world! 2 00:00:05,617 --> 00:00:07,934 Did the divorce kill some of your brain cells? 3 00:00:07,986 --> 00:00:10,904 I hate cleaning houses when the clients are home. 4 00:00:10,955 --> 00:00:12,573 I can't believe you! 5 00:00:12,624 --> 00:00:13,907 Be invisible. 6 00:00:13,958 --> 00:00:15,576 Why would you buy me these jeans?! 7 00:00:15,627 --> 00:00:17,411 Look at these holes! 8 00:00:17,462 --> 00:00:19,797 They're in all the wrong places! 9 00:00:19,881 --> 00:00:21,381 How am I supposed to know 10 00:00:21,449 --> 00:00:23,950 the right holes from the wrong holes, huh?! 11 00:00:24,002 --> 00:00:25,869 Well, maybe that's why Mom left you! 12 00:00:28,256 --> 00:00:30,257 You don't have the right to ignore my feelings! La, la, la, la. . 13 00:00:30,308 --> 00:00:32,176 Fine, then I'll "la-la-la" you! La, la, la, la, 14 00:00:32,260 --> 00:00:34,127 La-la-la-la! Can't hear you! La-la-la-la! . 15 00:00:34,179 --> 00:00:35,896 And I'll tell you something else, Dad! 16 00:00:35,963 --> 00:00:37,397 You're not fooling anybody 17 00:00:37,465 --> 00:00:40,150 with that stupid toupee. 18 00:00:40,235 --> 00:00:41,018 She's crazy. 19 00:00:41,102 --> 00:00:42,569 This is all my own hair. 20 00:00:42,637 --> 00:00:43,737 Ah! 21 00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:47,341 It's made from my own hair. 22 00:00:47,408 --> 00:00:49,109 Say, ladies, 23 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:51,995 I'm leaving town for a business trip, for a couple of weeks, 24 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,448 and I'm looking to hire a live-in 25 00:00:54,499 --> 00:00:56,867 to look after the house and, uh, Natalie. 26 00:00:56,951 --> 00:00:59,586 One of you interested in a little extra pay? 27 00:00:59,654 --> 00:01:00,921 No hablo ingles. 28 00:01:02,457 --> 00:01:06,243 ... English. 29 00:01:07,745 --> 00:01:09,379 Whoo! 30 00:01:09,447 --> 00:01:10,614 Here we go 31 00:01:10,682 --> 00:01:13,934 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! . 32 00:01:14,149 --> 00:01:16,708 Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for www.addic7ed.com 33 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 34 00:01:22,227 --> 00:01:24,561 I guess Hope's not going to let us sleep in today. 35 00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:26,897 Sh-sh-sh-sh. Maybe if we just lay here quietly, 36 00:01:26,981 --> 00:01:28,816 she'll go back to sleep. 37 00:01:28,867 --> 00:01:31,668 Ow! God... I guess not. 38 00:01:32,821 --> 00:01:34,321 Hey, Hope. 39 00:01:34,372 --> 00:01:37,825 How about just five more minutes, okay? 40 00:01:39,828 --> 00:01:41,194 What happened? Nipple, nipple, nipple! 41 00:01:41,246 --> 00:01:42,963 Okay. My nipple's caught! Uh, try pushing it! 42 00:01:43,030 --> 00:01:45,031 Okay... 43 00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:46,250 Ooh, God... 44 00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:47,751 That's not it! Try pulling it, try pulling it! 45 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,841 Oh! Oh! 46 00:01:53,892 --> 00:01:55,676 You were right. 47 00:01:55,727 --> 00:01:57,845 Grapes make taking walks so much more fun. 48 00:01:57,896 --> 00:01:59,763 One mushy one left, you want it? 49 00:01:59,848 --> 00:02:01,315 All yours. 50 00:02:11,910 --> 00:02:13,894 Ha-ha! 51 00:02:13,945 --> 00:02:14,745 I did it. 52 00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:17,247 What's all this? 53 00:02:17,332 --> 00:02:19,616 Jimmy almost lost his nipple in a crib accident. 54 00:02:19,701 --> 00:02:20,784 Told you those long nipples were going to 55 00:02:20,869 --> 00:02:22,085 come back to haunt you one day. 56 00:02:22,153 --> 00:02:24,204 He gets that from my side of the family. 57 00:02:24,255 --> 00:02:27,090 On the plus side, they're also very sensitive. 58 00:02:27,175 --> 00:02:28,508 Oh, good to know. 59 00:02:28,576 --> 00:02:30,544 Anyway, the crib's been recalled, 60 00:02:30,595 --> 00:02:32,446 along with a lot of this other old baby stuff, too. 61 00:02:32,513 --> 00:02:33,931 It can't be that dangerous. 62 00:02:34,015 --> 00:02:36,383 Jimmy played with most of this stuff; he's fine. 63 00:02:36,434 --> 00:02:39,753 No, come to think of it, he was always getting hurt. 64 00:02:54,035 --> 00:02:56,570 My nipple, my nipple, my nipple! 65 00:02:56,621 --> 00:02:59,873 Yeah, in retrospects, I can see that we should've 66 00:02:59,941 --> 00:03:01,942 paid more attention to child safety. 67 00:03:01,993 --> 00:03:03,944 And now Hope has to sleep in a cardboard box 68 00:03:03,995 --> 00:03:05,879 and play with a teddy bear I made from a bag of rice 69 00:03:05,947 --> 00:03:07,497 and a fuzzy toilet seat cover. 70 00:03:07,582 --> 00:03:08,966 Come to think of it, she could choke on the rice. 71 00:03:09,050 --> 00:03:10,217 Damn it! 72 00:03:10,284 --> 00:03:11,668 We need to find a way to make some fast money! 73 00:03:11,753 --> 00:03:13,754 Jimmy, you think if we knew how to make fast money, 74 00:03:13,821 --> 00:03:16,122 we would have spent our whole lives making slow money?! 75 00:03:16,174 --> 00:03:19,159 Unfortunately, I know how to make some fast money. 76 00:03:19,227 --> 00:03:21,228 Hello. 77 00:03:21,295 --> 00:03:23,563 Hi. I don't know if you're still looking for a live-in but... 78 00:03:23,631 --> 00:03:25,148 Oh, I'm so sorry. 79 00:03:25,233 --> 00:03:26,516 We already hired somebody. 80 00:03:26,601 --> 00:03:28,352 She threw soup at me! 81 00:03:28,436 --> 00:03:29,720 I quit. Wha... 82 00:03:31,973 --> 00:03:33,240 You're hired. 83 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,683 Burt, if we go over it one more time, 84 00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:39,202 we're just gonna start crying again. 85 00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,871 It's just for two weeks, till we have enough money 86 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,690 to buy Hope all the new stuff she needs. 87 00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:46,459 We can make money some other way. 88 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,744 What if I sell my plasma 89 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,030 to those people that make the fancy TVs?! 90 00:03:53,249 --> 00:03:55,033 I miss Virginia. 91 00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:58,003 We all miss Virginia, Maw maw. 92 00:03:58,054 --> 00:03:59,555 That's why we're eating meatloaf, 93 00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:01,640 which somebody thought would be great if it was made of tuna. 94 00:04:01,707 --> 00:04:04,209 Well, it should've worked. It's the chicken from the sea. 95 00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:05,978 But that's stupid, no one eats chicken meatloaf. 96 00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:06,929 It doesn't even make sense! 97 00:04:08,441 --> 00:04:11,580 I'm sorry, it's not the loaf. I just miss my wife. 98 00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:14,485 Time for my bath. Been a couple of days, so 99 00:04:14,569 --> 00:04:15,620 prepare for a long one. 100 00:04:17,538 --> 00:04:19,006 Good luck with that. 101 00:04:19,057 --> 00:04:20,307 I'll tell you what you missed on Phineas & Ferb. 102 00:04:20,374 --> 00:04:22,209 Oh, too late. I already got my finger on my nose. 103 00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:23,394 You can put your finger anywhere you want. 104 00:04:23,478 --> 00:04:25,362 You're still bathing Maw Maw. 105 00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:26,597 Only reason we're doing this is 'cause of your baby! 106 00:04:27,816 --> 00:04:30,234 I don't blame you. I blame society 107 00:04:30,318 --> 00:04:31,718 which says we can't let you swallow the same toys, 108 00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:33,187 which passed harmlessly through your father. 109 00:04:34,823 --> 00:04:37,574 Look, I'll do all the other chores except for Maw Maw. 110 00:04:37,659 --> 00:04:39,109 Every time I try to take care of here, she thinks I'm Paw Paw, 111 00:04:39,194 --> 00:04:40,158 and she tries to kiss me! 112 00:04:40,278 --> 00:04:41,445 She did that to me all the time. 113 00:04:41,529 --> 00:04:42,863 You just have to know how to handle it. 114 00:04:45,333 --> 00:04:48,836 Hey there, Mr. Gardener Man, 115 00:04:48,903 --> 00:04:52,456 I got something better for you to do with that green thumb. 116 00:04:55,376 --> 00:04:57,211 Hello, Burt! 117 00:04:58,579 --> 00:05:00,097 Good luck with that bath. 118 00:05:00,181 --> 00:05:02,015 Just so you're prepared, the carpet does match the drapes, 119 00:05:02,083 --> 00:05:03,383 and it's a deep shag. 120 00:05:05,386 --> 00:05:08,305 Oh, my God. 121 00:05:14,845 --> 00:05:17,131 You can stop doing my laundry! 122 00:05:17,198 --> 00:05:18,449 I won't need any more outfits 123 00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:20,433 because I'm never leaving my house again! 124 00:05:23,621 --> 00:05:25,405 What's wrong? 125 00:05:25,457 --> 00:05:28,375 I have a third eye, that's what's wrong! 126 00:05:28,443 --> 00:05:33,213 Oh, but that's nothing. I can fix that. 127 00:05:33,281 --> 00:05:34,248 You can? 128 00:05:34,299 --> 00:05:35,215 Oh, yeah! 129 00:05:40,805 --> 00:05:41,621 Okay... 130 00:05:43,091 --> 00:05:45,058 Oh, my God! It's completely disappeared! 131 00:05:45,126 --> 00:05:48,128 Mm-hmm. I've always been good with makeup and stuff. 132 00:05:48,179 --> 00:05:49,830 My son only lets me do it to him 133 00:05:49,898 --> 00:05:51,648 when we've both had a few beers, 134 00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:54,518 and I absolutely promise never to tell anyone. 135 00:05:54,602 --> 00:05:56,403 Don't tell anyone I said that... 136 00:05:59,491 --> 00:06:02,976 Okay! 137 00:06:03,027 --> 00:06:04,094 You're dry now, 138 00:06:04,214 --> 00:06:06,280 and don't worry, that thing on your back was a raisin. 139 00:06:06,331 --> 00:06:07,147 Oh, thank you. 140 00:06:07,198 --> 00:06:09,082 I feel better. 141 00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,667 Let me just get your fiber shake ready 142 00:06:10,752 --> 00:06:12,953 and your humidifier like you like it, 143 00:06:13,004 --> 00:06:14,487 and you are good to go! 144 00:06:14,539 --> 00:06:16,757 Just finding the switch on this thing... 145 00:06:20,211 --> 00:06:22,996 Let me pour you a drink. 146 00:06:23,047 --> 00:06:24,264 Wilfrid... 147 00:06:26,384 --> 00:06:30,354 Make that cocktail the same way I like my men. 148 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,674 Stiff... 149 00:06:34,726 --> 00:06:37,778 I'm not Paw Paw, I'm your great grandson, Maw Maw! 150 00:06:39,030 --> 00:06:40,013 Ah! 151 00:06:41,282 --> 00:06:43,784 What are you doing in my room? 152 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:46,920 Why am I sweating? 153 00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:49,089 Am I hot flashing again? 154 00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:50,641 When will this menopause end?! 155 00:06:57,431 --> 00:06:58,282 Hey, it's me! 156 00:06:58,366 --> 00:06:59,533 Sorry. 157 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,034 It's a little chilly out here. 158 00:07:01,102 --> 00:07:03,287 Didn't want my lips to get chapped before I saw ya. 159 00:07:03,371 --> 00:07:06,039 The only thing that doesn't cover is your lips. 160 00:07:06,107 --> 00:07:07,708 What are you doing here anyway? 161 00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:09,293 I missed ya. 162 00:07:09,377 --> 00:07:11,128 So I thought I'd come over here and climb through your window. 163 00:07:11,212 --> 00:07:13,914 Aw, I missed you, too. Mmm... 164 00:07:13,965 --> 00:07:17,117 It will be just like when we were teenagers. 165 00:07:17,168 --> 00:07:19,636 Even better, because now we don't have to make it quick 166 00:07:19,721 --> 00:07:21,421 so you could be home in time for Alf. 167 00:07:21,472 --> 00:07:22,556 Ooh! 168 00:07:31,516 --> 00:07:33,634 Time to wake up, Wilfrid, dear. 169 00:07:35,353 --> 00:07:37,771 What's that smell? 170 00:07:37,822 --> 00:07:40,440 Breakfast, like I make every morning. 171 00:07:40,491 --> 00:07:42,676 Come on, it's getting cold. 172 00:07:47,448 --> 00:07:50,200 French toast will be ready in a jiffy. 173 00:07:50,285 --> 00:07:53,453 And then I'll take care of the baby while you eat. 174 00:07:53,504 --> 00:07:57,090 And the syrup's heating up, just like you like it, too. 175 00:08:02,547 --> 00:08:05,528 Well, good morning, dear. 176 00:08:17,478 --> 00:08:19,512 I'm so glad you got this job. 177 00:08:19,564 --> 00:08:21,064 I know, that was quite a night. 178 00:08:21,149 --> 00:08:23,183 It actually was like being a teenager again. 179 00:08:23,234 --> 00:08:24,684 It was awesome. 180 00:08:24,736 --> 00:08:27,070 Although I do kind of wish I was watching Alf right now. 181 00:08:27,155 --> 00:08:29,623 Listen, you better get out of here before Natalie wakes up. 182 00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:32,042 And use the window, for old time's sake. 183 00:08:35,296 --> 00:08:36,830 Oh! Wha...?! 184 00:08:36,881 --> 00:08:38,765 Whoa! What happened to the ladder? 185 00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:40,784 Wha... huh? 186 00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,388 Get... 187 00:08:47,708 --> 00:08:49,142 What the hell?! 188 00:08:49,210 --> 00:08:50,543 Who is that?! 189 00:08:50,595 --> 00:08:52,829 Who is that?! 190 00:08:52,897 --> 00:08:54,564 Oh... 191 00:08:54,649 --> 00:08:57,150 Would you believe your dad hired a butler? 192 00:08:57,218 --> 00:08:59,886 And the butler just did it. 193 00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,638 Not helping. 194 00:09:04,232 --> 00:09:05,765 Put your pants on, 195 00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:08,384 and stop everything you were doing or were about to do. 196 00:09:08,436 --> 00:09:09,986 Burt, take this one downstairs. 197 00:09:11,542 --> 00:09:13,890 Okay, Romeo, let's go. 198 00:09:13,941 --> 00:09:18,161 He walks like a penguin. 199 00:09:18,229 --> 00:09:19,863 What are you doing? 200 00:09:19,914 --> 00:09:22,732 You shouldn't be sneaking boys into your room. 201 00:09:22,783 --> 00:09:24,067 You do. 202 00:09:24,118 --> 00:09:26,336 Wha... he's my husband. 203 00:09:26,403 --> 00:09:29,256 Well Robert's my boyfriend, and we're just as in love. 204 00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:32,075 Probably more so, because we're young and hot. 205 00:09:32,126 --> 00:09:33,910 Wha... Why are you so upset about this? 206 00:09:33,961 --> 00:09:35,295 I thought you were going to be cool. 207 00:09:35,612 --> 00:09:38,114 No, no, no, I am still cool! 208 00:09:38,165 --> 00:09:40,249 I'm like, um... wha... 209 00:09:40,465 --> 00:09:42,066 Alicia Silverstone. 210 00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:44,818 And Alicia would say that you are clueless 211 00:09:44,903 --> 00:09:46,737 about the risks of teenage sex. 212 00:09:46,805 --> 00:09:48,272 I don't know who that is. 213 00:09:48,323 --> 00:09:49,673 Is that like a friend of yours or something? 214 00:09:49,741 --> 00:09:51,775 Well, she was a very big star. 215 00:09:51,826 --> 00:09:54,144 Look, whatever celebrity you teens are into nowadays, 216 00:09:54,195 --> 00:09:56,196 they say "don't do it!" 217 00:09:56,281 --> 00:09:57,531 Raven Symone! 218 00:09:58,783 --> 00:10:00,200 I don't know! I... 219 00:10:00,285 --> 00:10:01,869 Kathy Perry! 220 00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:06,090 Science... 221 00:10:06,157 --> 00:10:08,175 Is there anything you can't do? 222 00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,461 Well, I talked to Natalie. 223 00:10:10,512 --> 00:10:11,762 She says, they haven't had sex yet. 224 00:10:11,829 --> 00:10:13,263 But I don't know if I believe her. 225 00:10:13,331 --> 00:10:14,848 I talked to Robert. They haven't. 226 00:10:14,933 --> 00:10:17,017 But he's getting close. I gave him a few tips. 227 00:10:17,102 --> 00:10:19,186 He is a slow song and a wine cooler 228 00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:20,604 away from closing the deal. 229 00:10:20,672 --> 00:10:22,189 What is wrong with you? 230 00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:23,724 Why are you encouraging this kid? 231 00:10:23,808 --> 00:10:25,392 What if Natalie gets pregnant? 232 00:10:25,477 --> 00:10:27,895 Well, you got pregnant. You don't like our life? 233 00:10:27,979 --> 00:10:29,480 No, Burt, I do! 234 00:10:29,531 --> 00:10:32,282 Well, it's just, as a rule, teenagers should... 235 00:10:32,350 --> 00:10:34,735 Son of a bitch, he's going back up there. 236 00:10:34,819 --> 00:10:37,404 Oh, yeah. I told him to wait about ten minutes. 237 00:10:37,489 --> 00:10:38,822 I guess he couldn't hold off. 238 00:10:38,873 --> 00:10:40,791 Which is disappointing, because most of my tips 239 00:10:40,858 --> 00:10:41,909 were about just that. 240 00:10:43,828 --> 00:10:45,629 Seriously?! 241 00:10:45,697 --> 00:10:47,164 Shouldn't you be cleaning 242 00:10:47,215 --> 00:10:48,532 or making me a cheese questadilla or something? 243 00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:49,917 You two, out of bed. 244 00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:51,301 I'm going to show you where this can lead to. 245 00:10:51,369 --> 00:10:53,870 I'm your ghost of teen pregnancy future. 246 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,874 This is where we live. 247 00:10:57,926 --> 00:10:59,143 You can't see it from here, 248 00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:00,561 but there's Silly Putty 249 00:11:00,645 --> 00:11:02,012 plugging holes in the roof. 250 00:11:02,063 --> 00:11:03,714 On the plus side, we have a ton 251 00:11:03,765 --> 00:11:04,898 of empty Silly Putty eggs, 252 00:11:04,983 --> 00:11:06,650 which we can use for all sorts of things. 253 00:11:10,555 --> 00:11:12,723 That's my son pretending to smoke a pipe 254 00:11:12,774 --> 00:11:14,525 and getting a foot rub from his great-grandmother. 255 00:11:14,576 --> 00:11:16,160 I don't know what's going on, 256 00:11:16,227 --> 00:11:18,112 but trust me, those are the actions 257 00:11:18,196 --> 00:11:20,397 of a kid raised by teen parents. 258 00:11:20,448 --> 00:11:22,616 A multigenerational household 259 00:11:22,701 --> 00:11:24,418 leads to a strong family bond. 260 00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:27,371 How's that Harvey Wallbanger? 261 00:11:27,422 --> 00:11:30,958 Uh, tip-top, you little hotsy-totsy. 262 00:11:31,042 --> 00:11:32,593 23 skidoo. 263 00:11:35,597 --> 00:11:37,097 Okay. I got nothing for that one. 264 00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:42,553 Here's what I really wanted to show you. 265 00:11:48,443 --> 00:11:49,810 Cool! You went to Paris? 266 00:11:49,894 --> 00:11:51,779 No. My friend, Becky Decker, 267 00:11:51,863 --> 00:11:53,430 from high school did. 268 00:11:53,481 --> 00:11:56,099 She went to Paris with her college French class. 269 00:11:56,151 --> 00:11:57,818 And this is from my two friends 270 00:11:57,902 --> 00:11:59,570 who went to Hungary and Turkey 271 00:11:59,621 --> 00:12:01,772 while I was at home hungry for turkey. 272 00:12:01,823 --> 00:12:05,292 Oh, here's our prom photo. 273 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,411 How many people get to look that fancy 274 00:12:07,462 --> 00:12:09,213 when welcoming their son into the world? 275 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,081 Look at those fresh-faced kids. 276 00:12:11,149 --> 00:12:13,751 Take a good, hard look at that. 277 00:12:13,802 --> 00:12:15,452 This is what they look like 278 00:12:15,503 --> 00:12:16,720 four years later. 279 00:12:16,788 --> 00:12:18,255 Whoa, you guys aged, 280 00:12:18,306 --> 00:12:20,057 like, 20 years. 281 00:12:20,124 --> 00:12:21,842 Yeah, but we haven't aged at all since then. 282 00:12:21,926 --> 00:12:22,959 Explain that. 283 00:12:23,011 --> 00:12:24,178 Look, Natalie's maid, 284 00:12:24,262 --> 00:12:26,096 I appreciate what you're trying to do, 285 00:12:26,147 --> 00:12:27,464 but we're in love. 286 00:12:27,515 --> 00:12:29,132 And your son seems to be hooking up 287 00:12:29,184 --> 00:12:30,400 with your grandmother, 288 00:12:30,468 --> 00:12:32,436 so I don't know why you're worried about us. 289 00:12:32,487 --> 00:12:34,154 We're staying together, and that's that. 290 00:12:34,239 --> 00:12:36,190 Yes! No, we're not. 291 00:12:36,274 --> 00:12:37,658 I'm sorry, Robert. 292 00:12:37,742 --> 00:12:38,859 I do love you, but there's 293 00:12:38,943 --> 00:12:40,327 too much I want to do in my life. 294 00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:41,495 I... I want 295 00:12:41,579 --> 00:12:43,280 to try crepes in Paris 296 00:12:43,331 --> 00:12:45,332 and gelato in Rome. 297 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:48,001 I want to trip my face off in Amsterdam! 298 00:12:48,086 --> 00:12:50,087 This is all too much for me. 299 00:12:50,154 --> 00:12:51,922 I think we should stop seeing each other. 300 00:13:07,105 --> 00:13:08,972 Love killer. 301 00:13:09,023 --> 00:13:11,225 You killed love. 302 00:13:11,309 --> 00:13:13,310 Here's your high-ball, darling. 303 00:13:13,361 --> 00:13:16,113 Hope you don't mind pot roast tonight. 304 00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:17,731 Horsefeathers, you dumb Dora. 305 00:13:17,816 --> 00:13:20,067 You know I think your cooking is swell. 306 00:13:20,151 --> 00:13:21,201 Oh, Wilfrid. 307 00:13:21,286 --> 00:13:23,687 Mmm... 308 00:13:29,244 --> 00:13:30,994 Oh, hey. 309 00:13:31,045 --> 00:13:33,029 Jimmy, you know I love your quirky family, 310 00:13:33,081 --> 00:13:34,915 but you nailing your great-grandmother 311 00:13:34,999 --> 00:13:36,717 is going to be a real deal breaker. 312 00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:38,218 Maw Maw's just in one of her delusions. 313 00:13:38,303 --> 00:13:39,536 She thinks I'm Wilfrid. 314 00:13:39,587 --> 00:13:41,255 But she's easier to take care of this way. 315 00:13:41,339 --> 00:13:42,589 She actually takes care of me. 316 00:13:42,674 --> 00:13:44,591 And if things go too far, I can stop her 317 00:13:44,676 --> 00:13:46,009 just by spraying her with this bottle. 318 00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:47,644 So kissing her on the lips wasn't going too far? 319 00:13:47,712 --> 00:13:49,146 Well, first of all, my mouth was closed. 320 00:13:49,213 --> 00:13:51,214 And second, can you smell that pot roast? 321 00:13:51,266 --> 00:13:53,350 Come on in. 322 00:13:53,401 --> 00:13:55,485 Dinner's... 323 00:13:55,553 --> 00:13:57,905 What the hell is your sister, Mabel, doing here? 324 00:13:57,989 --> 00:13:59,690 Oh, gee willikers, honey buns. 325 00:13:59,741 --> 00:14:02,559 Your pot roast is so swell, I invited her for dinner, see? 326 00:14:04,112 --> 00:14:06,880 How could you invite her today on this special occasion? 327 00:14:06,948 --> 00:14:08,415 What special occasion? 328 00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:10,450 Unbelievable. 329 00:14:11,319 --> 00:14:12,570 Every year! Aah! 330 00:14:12,621 --> 00:14:15,406 Get the spray bottle! 331 00:14:15,457 --> 00:14:18,275 You always forget our anniversary every year! 332 00:14:18,326 --> 00:14:19,577 Sabrina! 333 00:14:19,628 --> 00:14:21,295 Why do I always get my hopes up 334 00:14:21,379 --> 00:14:22,913 every year?! 335 00:14:22,964 --> 00:14:25,082 Squirt her! Squirt her! 336 00:14:25,133 --> 00:14:26,783 You know what? I don't think I should. 337 00:14:26,835 --> 00:14:28,886 'Cause she just really looks like she's hurting right now. 338 00:14:28,953 --> 00:14:30,504 She's really hurting me! 339 00:14:30,589 --> 00:14:31,889 That's who she's hurting! 340 00:14:35,927 --> 00:14:38,262 Do you still believe in love, Robert? Oh, my God! 341 00:14:38,313 --> 00:14:40,297 Oh, it's okay! It's okay, Robert! It's Burt. 342 00:14:40,348 --> 00:14:41,849 It's your ex-girlfriend's temporary maid's husband. 343 00:14:43,068 --> 00:14:44,635 I think I have an idea 344 00:14:44,686 --> 00:14:46,170 how we can get Natalie back. 345 00:14:47,739 --> 00:14:49,823 Do you still believe in love? 346 00:15:00,285 --> 00:15:03,087 You brought us to your high school sex hideout? 347 00:15:03,154 --> 00:15:05,489 You know, it sounds cheap when you say it like that. 348 00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:08,425 Me and Virginia called it the "Stabbin' Cabin." 349 00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:10,661 Which sounds cheap, too, now, 350 00:15:10,712 --> 00:15:12,262 but back then, we thought it was poetic. 351 00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:14,014 I brought you guys here 'cause my wife 352 00:15:14,099 --> 00:15:15,516 showed you what our lives were like, 353 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,934 but she left out some parts. 354 00:15:21,606 --> 00:15:24,308 These ticket stubs are from our first movie date: 355 00:15:24,359 --> 00:15:25,893 Beverly Hills Cop II. 356 00:15:25,977 --> 00:15:27,444 Ah. 357 00:15:27,512 --> 00:15:30,614 This kernel of popcorn fell down Virginia's cleavage. 358 00:15:30,682 --> 00:15:33,016 Just when you think boobs can't get any better... 359 00:15:33,068 --> 00:15:34,318 butter flavored. 360 00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:37,988 Ah, this is the gum wrapper necklace 361 00:15:38,039 --> 00:15:39,957 that Virginia made me at pregnant girl camp. 362 00:15:42,377 --> 00:15:44,495 Ah, these are the pretend magazine covers 363 00:15:44,546 --> 00:15:46,830 Good Adventure Theme Park. 364 00:15:46,881 --> 00:15:48,082 How is that place? 365 00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:50,367 It's almost awesome. 366 00:15:50,435 --> 00:15:51,868 Look. 367 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,138 Virginia and I were perfect for each other. 368 00:15:54,205 --> 00:15:56,306 Waiting wouldn't have made us more perfect, 369 00:15:56,374 --> 00:15:58,375 but it could have made us miss out on perfect, 370 00:15:58,426 --> 00:16:00,678 and I just don't want to see you guys miss out 371 00:16:00,729 --> 00:16:02,413 on your chance to have the perfect person, either. 372 00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:05,849 Oh, my God, he's right. 373 00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,218 We are perfect for each other. 374 00:16:08,269 --> 00:16:09,937 The world might be against you sometimes, 375 00:16:10,021 --> 00:16:12,055 but you'll always have an ally in me. 376 00:16:12,107 --> 00:16:13,440 Natalie! 377 00:16:13,725 --> 00:16:15,475 Natalie! 378 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,260 I was never here! 379 00:16:17,312 --> 00:16:19,730 And remember, snitches get stitches. 380 00:16:22,819 --> 00:16:24,703 Natalie? 381 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,789 Oh, my God. 382 00:16:27,874 --> 00:16:29,291 She's coming in! 383 00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:31,209 Robert, hide! 384 00:16:31,277 --> 00:16:32,911 She's going to kill you! 385 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,089 Natalie, I know you're in here. 386 00:16:46,843 --> 00:16:48,644 How'd you find me? 387 00:16:48,728 --> 00:16:50,262 I called your dad. 388 00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,564 He uses GPS to track your phone. 389 00:16:52,632 --> 00:16:54,399 That put me in this general area, 390 00:16:54,467 --> 00:16:56,485 and then it didn't take the Mentalist to figure out 391 00:16:56,569 --> 00:16:57,819 you were in the Stabbin' Cabin. 392 00:16:57,904 --> 00:16:59,321 Where's Robert? 393 00:16:59,405 --> 00:17:00,822 He's not here yet. 394 00:17:00,907 --> 00:17:02,958 You got to get out of here before you ruin everything. 395 00:17:03,026 --> 00:17:04,359 I'd rather ruin tonight 396 00:17:04,444 --> 00:17:06,161 than let you ruin your whole life. 397 00:17:06,245 --> 00:17:08,196 Look, Robert and I are in love. 398 00:17:08,281 --> 00:17:09,531 We're meant to be, 399 00:17:09,616 --> 00:17:11,617 just like you and Burt, but with better grades. 400 00:17:11,668 --> 00:17:14,819 Fine, but that doesn't mean you have to sleep together. 401 00:17:14,871 --> 00:17:16,204 But we want to. 402 00:17:16,289 --> 00:17:17,539 We're ready. 403 00:17:17,624 --> 00:17:19,207 You're ready to have a baby? 404 00:17:19,292 --> 00:17:20,659 We know how to use condoms. 405 00:17:20,710 --> 00:17:22,794 We put them on cucumbers in health class. 406 00:17:22,845 --> 00:17:24,663 First of all, putting them on cucumbers 407 00:17:24,714 --> 00:17:26,915 is just setting yourself up for disappointment. 408 00:17:26,983 --> 00:17:28,350 And besides, 409 00:17:28,434 --> 00:17:31,670 condoms don't always work, 410 00:17:31,721 --> 00:17:34,556 and guys don't always stay. 411 00:17:34,641 --> 00:17:36,808 Burt did, and Robert would, too. 412 00:17:36,859 --> 00:17:40,011 And we could have a happy family just like you two. 413 00:17:40,063 --> 00:17:41,396 Yeah, fine. Maybe you will. 414 00:17:41,481 --> 00:17:43,482 Maybe you will be just like me. 415 00:17:43,533 --> 00:17:44,983 Maybe there'll be an accident, 416 00:17:45,034 --> 00:17:47,352 and maybe Robert will do the right thing 417 00:17:47,403 --> 00:17:51,123 and you'll have a family and be happy just like me. 418 00:17:51,190 --> 00:17:53,375 But... 419 00:17:53,459 --> 00:17:57,796 you'll always wonder why he stayed. 420 00:17:57,863 --> 00:18:01,500 Was it for you or the baby? 421 00:18:01,551 --> 00:18:03,802 You'll always wonder if you kept him from something, 422 00:18:03,869 --> 00:18:06,304 from being something more. 423 00:18:06,372 --> 00:18:08,256 Let's be honest... probably not a lot more, 424 00:18:08,341 --> 00:18:10,092 but something. 425 00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,711 Did he stay because he wanted to 426 00:18:12,762 --> 00:18:14,680 or because he had to? 427 00:18:14,731 --> 00:18:16,515 I poked a hole in the condom. 428 00:18:16,566 --> 00:18:18,883 What? 429 00:18:18,935 --> 00:18:21,319 Not your condom; our condom. 430 00:18:21,387 --> 00:18:22,554 Burt, what are you...? 431 00:18:22,605 --> 00:18:24,489 Look, Virginia, from the moment I met you, 432 00:18:24,557 --> 00:18:25,991 I knew you were the one. 433 00:18:26,058 --> 00:18:28,577 I also knew you were way, way out of my league. 434 00:18:28,661 --> 00:18:29,945 I was not. 435 00:18:30,029 --> 00:18:31,997 I was in a back brace. 436 00:18:32,064 --> 00:18:33,415 That was a bonus. 437 00:18:33,499 --> 00:18:35,784 It was like you were hot and bionic. 438 00:18:35,868 --> 00:18:37,703 Plus smart and funny. 439 00:18:37,754 --> 00:18:39,121 I knew my only shot 440 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:41,406 was to get you pregnant so you had to marry me 441 00:18:41,457 --> 00:18:43,074 before you figured out you could do better. 442 00:18:43,126 --> 00:18:46,044 So, your plan for a lifetime of happiness 443 00:18:46,095 --> 00:18:49,181 was to trick me into getting pregnant at 15 years old? 444 00:18:49,248 --> 00:18:50,949 That was the best I could come up with. 445 00:18:52,101 --> 00:18:54,052 Well... 446 00:18:54,103 --> 00:18:56,972 it's hard to argue with your results. 447 00:19:11,738 --> 00:19:13,071 I'm confused. 448 00:19:13,122 --> 00:19:14,790 Does that mean we're supposed to have sex 449 00:19:14,874 --> 00:19:16,441 or not have sex or... 450 00:19:16,492 --> 00:19:17,993 Do whatever you want. We don't care. 451 00:19:18,077 --> 00:19:19,878 It was never really about you. 452 00:19:24,283 --> 00:19:26,117 I'll never stop loving you . 453 00:19:26,169 --> 00:19:28,053 Oh... look. 454 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,971 Oh... 455 00:19:30,056 --> 00:19:34,476 Whatever else I may do . 456 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,645 Happy anniversary, darling. 457 00:19:36,729 --> 00:19:38,847 It's beautiful. 458 00:19:38,931 --> 00:19:41,483 My love for you 459 00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:45,403 Will live till time itself 460 00:19:45,471 --> 00:19:47,722 Is through 461 00:19:49,459 --> 00:19:51,242 I'll never stop wanting you... . 462 00:19:51,294 --> 00:19:52,761 What the hell is going on? 463 00:19:52,845 --> 00:19:54,262 Oh. 464 00:19:54,347 --> 00:19:57,098 We're just giving Maw Maw a special memory. 465 00:19:57,183 --> 00:19:59,351 It's cool. I'm fine with it. 466 00:19:59,418 --> 00:20:00,635 He's allowed to touch anything above the waist, 467 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,086 and her boobs are so low, 468 00:20:02,138 --> 00:20:03,388 that doesn't really allow for much of anything. 469 00:20:05,975 --> 00:20:08,092 When it comes to wives, 470 00:20:08,144 --> 00:20:11,930 Barbara June, you are the cat's meow. 471 00:20:11,981 --> 00:20:14,566 Speaking of things that purr, 472 00:20:14,617 --> 00:20:17,569 I have a gift you can open. 473 00:20:17,620 --> 00:20:20,071 Here's a hint. 474 00:20:20,122 --> 00:20:22,073 It's my legs. 475 00:20:22,124 --> 00:20:24,159 Okay, we're done. 476 00:20:27,647 --> 00:20:29,447 Why am I wet? 477 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,718 And why are there decorations out here? 478 00:20:33,786 --> 00:20:36,388 Did I drown in the tub, and this is my wake? 479 00:20:38,090 --> 00:20:39,641 Ooh... 480 00:20:39,725 --> 00:20:42,427 I'm here. I'm here. 481 00:20:42,478 --> 00:20:45,564 You're not dead, Maw Maw. 482 00:20:45,631 --> 00:20:48,526 Damn it, this life is taking forever. 483 00:20:49,192 --> 00:20:51,728 Hey, this is Wilfred's and my song. 484 00:20:51,737 --> 00:20:53,179 Really? I didn't know that. 485 00:20:53,299 --> 00:20:55,602 Oh yeah we danced on this song years ago, 486 00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:57,744 on our wonderful anniversary. 487 00:20:57,864 --> 00:21:00,345 It's the year Wilfred gave me this necklace. 488 00:21:00,465 --> 00:21:02,880 It's my favorite memory. 489 00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:06,495 That's why I never take it off. 490 00:21:10,666 --> 00:21:12,675 Well I guess I won't be getting that necklace back. 491 00:21:12,795 --> 00:21:15,323 I'll get you a new necklace on our anniversary, 492 00:21:15,443 --> 00:21:17,670 which I promise to never forget. 493 00:21:20,581 --> 00:21:23,567 - You taste like your great grandmother. - I'll brush my teeth. 494 00:21:24,497 --> 00:21:27,539 Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for www.addic7ed.com 495 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,103 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 496 00:21:31,153 --> 00:21:35,703 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35418

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