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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:02,836
Every afternoon,
I've been going to Luke's campus
2
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:04,838
to help him train
for rugby tryouts.
3
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:07,541
What do you say we practice
that lineout lift one last time?
4
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:08,942
And...
I got to go.
5
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,511
I don't want to be late
for women's studies.
6
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,213
That's what I call
my lunch break.
7
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:13,214
All right.
8
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,083
Good luck at tryouts.
9
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,250
The other day,
10
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:19,887
something pretty interesting
caught my eye.
11
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:21,889
Uh...
12
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,891
modifications must be made
13
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,394
to standard
microeconomic procedures
14
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:30,131
to apply
supply and demand analysis.
15
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,265
Hmm.
16
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:34,268
First, we construct
a utility function,
17
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,104
where Y equals income
18
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,439
and X equals
the cost of services.
19
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:39,640
Well...
20
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,776
Uh, next, we vary either X --
21
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,412
Pffffbbbbb.
22
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,880
What --
What's on your mind?
23
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,383
Well, um,
with all due respect,
24
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,120
uh, you have a roomful
of aspiring Realtors here,
25
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,588
and I worry that you might
be turning them off
26
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,091
with all those numbers
and formulas.
27
00:00:57,191 --> 00:01:00,294
It's actually
a very exciting business.
28
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,663
It's about people
and -- and emotional connections
29
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,665
and magnets
with your face on them.
30
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,600
You think you can
just walk in here
31
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,336
and start
teaching this class?
32
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:09,737
I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have --
33
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:11,672
No, I'm asking --
can you teach this class for me?
34
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:14,575
If I leave now, I won't have to
pay the all-day parking rate.
35
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,447
10 minutes with the dean,
36
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:22,015
who, it turns out,
I'd sold a house to,
37
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,817
and I was official.
38
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,686
Imagine Phil Dunphy
shaping minds
39
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:28,289
in the hallowed halls
of Sequoia Community College,
40
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:30,624
established 2016.
41
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:37,165
As you can see from this graph,
it's not about X's and Y's.
42
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:41,369
It's about oohs and ahs.
43
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:45,473
Mm. Okay.
44
00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:48,642
So, what does
real estate equal?
45
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:51,945
80%...
46
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:52,946
eye contact.
47
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:59,487
**
48
00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:04,958
**
49
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,198
All right. Your breakfast
is almost ready.
50
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,500
You're gonna need all your
energy for the courtroom today
51
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,034
in case you have to yell,
"I'm out of order?
52
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,068
You're out of order.
53
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:16,870
The whole damn system's
out of order!"
54
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,206
Might not do that.
55
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:19,907
I think I'm winning, so big fan
of the system right now.
56
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,309
Anyway, it can't hurt
Cam.
57
00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,877
to have some experienced eyes
take a look at this police work.
58
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,713
Sloppy.
Sloppy, sloppy.
59
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,682
Okay, I know you fancy yourself
some sort of detective.
60
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:31,419
You know, I was quite
the amateur sleuth as a boy,
61
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,221
a real-life
Encyclopedia Brown.
62
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:34,722
They called me
Thesaurus Jones.
63
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,824
What I really need right now is
just a few minutes of silence,
64
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,426
just like --
I would say
my toughest case
65
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:41,161
was "The Case
of the Missing Snowman."
66
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,364
You know, at first,
I thought he'd come to life,
67
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,233
but turns out --
Oh. Shh! My trial!
68
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:46,567
Today marks the fourth day
69
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:47,935
of witness questioning
by the DA's office.
70
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,737
- Oh, my God.
- Is that you?
71
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,171
I look like an elf
that just walked
72
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,406
into his own
surprise party.
73
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,874
No, it's like the time we tried
to microwave a squash.
74
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,544
I -- Okay,
this is my first big trial,
75
00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:58,412
a-a chance to make
a name for myself.
76
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,415
All anyone's gonna be talking
about is that awful picture!
77
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,016
Okay,
this is a disaster.
78
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,352
Th-- There's a place
downtown
79
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:05,453
where all the lawyers
go to drink.
80
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:06,687
It's called The Side Bar.
81
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,689
They put courtroom sketches
on the wall
82
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,591
from everyone's
first big trial.
83
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:11,559
Maybe nobody saw it.
84
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,061
Um...
85
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:16,564
Don't assume the worst.
It could just be an Amber Alert.
86
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,467
- Hey, Dad.
- Yo.
87
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,269
Since it's our first day
with our new partners,
88
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:22,870
I thought maybe
you could get to work
89
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,105
as close to on time
as poss--
90
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,974
I will try my best.
91
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,377
Hi.
92
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:30,978
I'm sorry. Am I late?
93
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:32,280
No, no, no, no.
Oh.
94
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:33,914
And we're not
real time sticklers here.
Ah.
95
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,549
We've found that team members
really excel
96
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:36,817
when they follow
their own energy rhythms.
97
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,319
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Interesting,
'cause I've found
98
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,587
team members are happiest
99
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,589
when the company stays
in business,
100
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:44,325
which means
asses in chairs by 9:00.
101
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,561
Dad, could I just have
a quick -- quick sec with you?
102
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:48,729
Sure.
103
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,432
Um...so, Dad, look,
104
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,667
the culture
is just different here.
105
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,969
And you just can't
come in with a sledgehammer,
106
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,305
or it's gonna create
tension.
107
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,139
You don't want
to alienate people.
108
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,808
So you want me to change
who I am?
No.
109
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,744
I just want you
to hide who you are.
110
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,346
I mean, come on.
Just a little bit.
111
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:06,314
Let's get rid of this.
112
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,648
Look at that.
That's better already.
113
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,083
Who is this 50-something,
huh?
114
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,853
Fine.
I will be on my best behavior.
Thanks, Dad.
115
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:16,457
So sorry about that.
116
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:17,458
Well, it's no problem.
117
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:18,992
Family time is so important.
Uh-huh.
118
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,429
That's why we offer 14 months
paid paternity leave.
119
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,297
Mm-kay.
Let's see an update
120
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:25,198
on that Thinfinity model.
121
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:27,200
Ooh.
Cool design.
122
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:29,102
Who do I high-five
for that, huh?
Everybody.
123
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:31,805
Our design meetings
are organized around burstiness,
124
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,807
which is a rapid-fire
creative process
125
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,176
that really just unlocks
the unconscious.
126
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,311
Oh!
127
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,212
Does anybody else
find that distracting?
128
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:42,049
Actually, it's great
for left-brain stimulation.
129
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:43,384
I got winner!
130
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:44,518
We don't keep score.
131
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,620
- No?
- Watch out!
132
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,688
What the hell?!
133
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,323
You don't know
about Zorbing?
134
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:50,691
It promotes
mind/body balance.
135
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,826
It's kind of like
the German version of Flerming.
136
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,695
Okay, that's it.
137
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,029
Now, I'm about
to introduce you squids
138
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,365
to a little thing called
139
00:04:57,465 --> 00:05:00,334
back-breaking, soul-crushing
hard work.
Mm.
140
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,836
How many heart attacks have you
had here in the last five years?
141
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,005
Zero?
Where am I?!
142
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,840
America loves closets,
143
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,242
and I'm here to build them,
damn it!
144
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:13,814
And you get this back when I see
people pull up in the morning
145
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,649
crying in their cars.
146
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,520
YYYYYeah.
147
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:23,657
Okay, must you?
148
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,325
You know what,
we are gonna make sure
149
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,995
that sketch artist sees the best
possible version of you.
150
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,230
Let's get those apples
a-shining!
151
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,899
Okay, okay, stop.
Don't!
152
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,667
Okay, your face gets weird
when you make that "O" sound,
153
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,235
so avoid that.
154
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,269
A-Are you serious?
155
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,938
The defendant runs
the Orange County
156
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,940
Oceanic and Ornithological
Organization.
157
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,442
That was hard to watch.
Wha--
158
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,176
All rise.
159
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,878
Last looks.
160
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,214
Be seated.
161
00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:51,051
Mr. Pritchett, you may resume
your questioning of the witness.
162
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,553
Okay.
163
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,388
Mitchell. Mitchell.
He's here.
164
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,590
Only give him
your best side.
165
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,426
Avoid the fluorescent lights,
no O's,
166
00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,093
and whatever you do, do not
stand next to the bailiff.
167
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,195
He is breathtaking!
168
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,432
Oh, my God.
Counselor?
169
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:07,100
Uh, sorry, Your Honor.
Um...
170
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,469
Miss Carpenter...
Bad side!
171
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:13,941
...do you recall seeing this man
on the night in question?
172
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,108
Yes, sir.
173
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,646
And is he,
to your knowledge, the C.E.O...
174
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,782
of the Orange County Oceanic
and Ornithological Organization?
175
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,316
Counselor,
you're mumbling.
Oh --
176
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,485
Can you repeat that,
please?
177
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,920
Does he run
the bird and water place?
178
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:27,921
He does.
179
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,624
And is he here today
in this, uh...
180
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:35,295
As I was saying...
Little further.
181
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:39,900
...is he here today in this,
uh -- in this courtroom?
182
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,001
That's him.
183
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,336
Let the court note
that I am pretty sure
184
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,306
that the witness has identified
the defendant.
185
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,149
Elbow patches?
186
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,085
Did you burn through
another blazer at Benihana's?
187
00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:00,320
Actually, it is for
my new position
188
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,956
teaching real estate
at your school.
189
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,024
What are you
talking about?
190
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,292
They offered me a job.
191
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:06,960
But hey, listen --
listen to me.
192
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,462
Lifelong dreams aside,
193
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,297
I'm not taking this
unless you're on board.
194
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:11,431
I'm definitely not.
195
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,635
I get it.
196
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,169
Don't want your old Pops
cramping your style,
197
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,304
so I'm -- I'm out.
198
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:18,639
It's just funny.
199
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:20,307
I Can't remember the last time
I was this excited.
200
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:21,542
But it wouldn't --
wouldn't make any sense
201
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,876
unless you were
excited, too.
202
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,613
Not even a little bit.
203
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:26,947
Right.
204
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,115
Those poor kids,
though, huh?
205
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,183
I have so much to offer.
206
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,485
For example,
207
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:34,955
which house styles are sold
by which cookie type?
208
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,190
French Revival --
macaroons.
209
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,659
English Tudor --
210
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,193
shortbread.
211
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,564
But...
we both know what you want,
212
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,966
so, uh, I'll resign
and go back
213
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:49,503
to trying to figure out
what to do with my final years.
214
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,304
Okay.
215
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,810
I need a place to stay
for a couple of days.
216
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,145
Can't go home,
can't go to school,
217
00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,513
don't want
to talk about it.
218
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:00,648
Got it.
219
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:03,083
I knew that Alex wanted
to talk about it,
220
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,385
but I had a lot on my mind.
221
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,655
I had a rough morning with Joe.
222
00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:10,357
Have a great first day.
223
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:12,492
Aren't you gonna
walk me in?
224
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:15,062
No. In first grade,
you have drop-off.
225
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,731
No one said anything
about drop-off.
226
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,567
What if I can't find
my cubby?
227
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,902
They don't have cubbies.
They have lockers here.
228
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,838
Wait. Wait a second.
Where's my lunchbox?
229
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,440
Oh, I signed you up
for the hot-lunch program.
230
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:30,177
What is this place?
231
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:31,879
Okay, I've been feeling
some pressure
232
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,914
about what to do
after I graduate this year,
233
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,216
and my parents are constantly
asking me about it.
234
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,718
I thought that you were
going to work.
235
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:41,622
So did I, but lately, I've been
questioning everything.
236
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,423
I even thought
about becoming a fellow.
237
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,959
Ay, Alex,
that's a big change.
238
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,528
But at least you get
to keep the same name.
239
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,930
I'm not even sure
it's what I really want.
240
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,198
Okay, you have to be
very sure,
241
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:54,301
because I heard
it's even harder to reverse it.
242
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,136
Can we talk about anything else?
Where's Joe?
243
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,304
He started school today.
244
00:08:57,404 --> 00:09:00,107
He was so panicky
when I dropped him off.
245
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,142
I don't know why.
It's just first grade.
246
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,410
Just first grade?!
247
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,645
That's when
the pressure starts!
248
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,747
Ay!
You're freaking me out!
249
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:10,250
Alex is going to be
a very nervous man.
250
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:13,821
Uh, e-excuse me,
sketch man.
251
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,889
We'd like a word with you
about your little drawings.
Yes.
252
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,958
You don't remember me,
do you?
253
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:18,992
Uh...
254
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,460
It's -- Um...
255
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,963
Well, obviously,
we have offended you somehow.
256
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,465
Oh, were you the barista
we had fired?
257
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,802
Here's a hint -- I once stayed
in your upstairs rental.
258
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:29,903
Oh.
259
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,504
Who consumes
an entire welcome basket?
260
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:33,573
We usually reuse
half this stuff.
261
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,242
All the Altoids.
He was here one night.
262
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,477
He -- He even ate
the horseradish mustard.
263
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,612
What did he put it on?
264
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,513
We purposely
don't give crackers.
265
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,182
Ugh!
266
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,452
Hey.
Hey.
267
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,755
We are so sorry
we offended you, but --
268
00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:49,456
Ooh, too late.
269
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:50,523
I own you two.
270
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,960
And I haven't even gotten
to my best stuff yet.
271
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,662
I can go redder.
272
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,363
You wouldn't.
273
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:57,831
Just wait
till I connect the brows.
274
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:58,832
Please.
275
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,500
We have a child.
276
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,637
Oh, fun --
a reporter from CNN.
277
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:06,807
Looks like this pretty little
portrait's about to go national.
278
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,976
Uh...
What --
What are we gonna do?
279
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,543
Okay, is it just me,
or does this sound
280
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,179
like a job
for Thesaurus Jones?
281
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,047
It's just you.
No. Blackmail, Mitchell!
282
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,549
We just have to dig
something up on this guy.
283
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:20,120
Shouldn't be a problem, because
everyone's hiding something.
284
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,321
Everyone.
285
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:23,824
I feel like you're sitting
on one more...
286
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,392
Everyone.
Yep.
287
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,498
Shh! Shh! Shh!
288
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:34,167
Just as I feared,
my dad had crushed the spirit
289
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,336
of everyone in that office.
290
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,671
I had to do something to prove
291
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,572
we weren't
some stuffy killjoys.
292
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:41,909
It was time to bust out
Party Claire.
293
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,245
She'd retired
after spring break '89.
294
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:47,981
And again in '92.
295
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,417
Hey,
do you have a second?
296
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,252
If this is about
my respecting your process --
297
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:54,888
Actually, we want to thank you
for laying down the law before.
298
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,724
Because we have gone soft
as a company,
299
00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,358
we needed a couple grown-ups
to come in
300
00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,693
and put us
back on track.
301
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:00,828
You know, thanks to you,
302
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:02,062
we've gotten rid
of all the distractions --
303
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,931
no more ping-pong tables,
squirt guns.
304
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:06,066
The only thing we couldn't find
was that giant --
305
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,868
Break time, bitches!
306
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,004
Uh, it turns out
this is a little --
307
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,572
Oh, my God!
The Thinfinity!
308
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,573
I'm so sorry!
309
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,442
Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry!
310
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,944
I -- Oh!
311
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,248
Sorry.
312
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,690
Sketch boy
was unusually well-groomed
313
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:34,061
for somebody coming out
of a government-subsidized gym.
314
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:35,628
Something wasn't right.
315
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:39,066
I was getting
that old Thesaurus Jones tingle.
316
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,267
I decided to do
some sniffing around.
317
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,771
Sketch guy's face had
a kind of glow
318
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:46,774
that can only be achieved with
expensive creams and unguents,
319
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:50,243
yet all I found were packets
of cut-rate all-purpose lotions.
320
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:53,814
According to my sources,
the gym had an executive level
321
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,583
that provides all manner
of fancy spa products,
322
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,819
but it's for judges
and attorneys only.
323
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,453
I created a diversion
324
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,122
by convincing
the security detail
325
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,590
there was
a towel emergency...
326
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,893
There's a towel
emergency.
327
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,932
...and hacked
into the gym's computer system.
328
00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:15,435
Turns out he's been accessing
the executive level
329
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:18,571
by swiping the ID
of one Victor Graham,
330
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,407
a retired judge.
331
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:23,811
Members of the jury,
332
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,313
the defendant, Mr. Kane,
would have you believe
333
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:29,282
that he was working
at the time of the crime.
334
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,750
Bald?!
335
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,586
...faced lies!
336
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,488
Counselor?
337
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,489
Ah.
338
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,992
Because evidence
would clearly suggest
339
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,661
that, um...
340
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:42,629
Oh.
341
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:43,964
...that while James Kane
342
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:48,201
does have an office on
his company's executive floor,
343
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,470
he was nowhere near it
that night.
344
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:53,640
Nice try,
executive-level Jim.
345
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:56,810
...Kane...
346
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,311
we're onto you.
347
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:02,682
Ladies and gentlemen,
before you've retired, judge...
348
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:04,818
...for yourself
349
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:09,289
and draw
a more accurate conclusion
350
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,724
than the one Mr. Kane
would have you believe...
351
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:14,161
Counselor,
you're speaking weirdly.
352
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:17,030
I'm sure you will find
the defendant's alibi
353
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,465
to be thin.
354
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,334
Even thinner.
355
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:30,677
Good afternoon,
young Realtors.
356
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,846
I have a very important
announcement
357
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,147
to make after class,
358
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:37,017
but in the meantime,
if you would be so kind
359
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:39,219
as to open your books --
360
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,721
Oh, boy. I can't do this.
361
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:46,193
Students, today is
our last day together.
362
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:47,895
Shh, shh.
363
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,063
I've treasured
our time together.
364
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,432
Brett, I know we got off
to a rough start,
365
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,601
but once we broke down
those walls,
366
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,336
I'm not sure
who was teaching who.
367
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,073
Whitney, you're the toughest
single mother I know.
368
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,942
Lucy, you be good to your mom.
369
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,678
Bob, amazing how you battle
that dyslexia.
370
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:08,181
Maybe ease off on the anger
toward your parents, though.
371
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,017
They did you a solid
giving you that name.
372
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:11,751
We're gonna miss you,
Mr. Nudphy.
373
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,254
It's -- You -- You --
You flipped it, but...
374
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,056
I'm gonna miss you guys, too.
375
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:20,627
Location. Location.
Location.
376
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,195
You memorized it.
377
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:27,200
Now, for the second
and last time...
378
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,436
class dismissed.
379
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,605
Dad.
380
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,274
Luke?
381
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,943
How long
have you been back there?
382
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,444
I pretty much saw
the whole thing.
383
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,247
Hey, Dad?
384
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,149
Yeah?
385
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,816
Don't forget
your coffee mug.
386
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:45,085
O-Oh.
387
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,422
I'm sure this all worked out
for the best.
388
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:50,924
I'll, uh, probably miss
389
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,760
a few spontaneous
Frisbee opportunities and...
390
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:56,096
apparently,
a tumbling exchange program --
391
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,597
oh, well --
392
00:14:57,697 --> 00:14:58,999
and an Amateur Inventors
Association.
393
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:01,434
How much fun could it be
changing the world, anyway?
394
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,939
"The Sequoia College
Players Present:
395
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:09,276
A Hall and Oates
Magic Show."
396
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,313
Dad, wait.
Yes, Luke?
397
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,948
Don't forget your mug
again.
398
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,449
Come on!
399
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,485
Can't you see
I'm meant to be here?
400
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,154
I'm sorry, but I've never
had a school to myself.
401
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,291
I was always Alex's dumb brother
or Manny's hot nephew.
402
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:27,527
Now I can finally
be my own person.
403
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,129
I'm sorry. I get it.
404
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,964
I-I r-- I-I really do.
405
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,699
I think I was just getting
a little overexcited.
406
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,767
I'll, uh...
407
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,136
I'll see you at home.
408
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:39,372
Dunphy.
409
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,941
Glad I ran into you so I can
congratulate you personally.
410
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,810
Wait.
I made the team?
First string.
411
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,013
I got to say, your form
on that lineout lift
412
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,847
was impeccable.
413
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,382
Thanks.
Yeah.
414
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,856
Hey, Dad.
I made the team.
415
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,025
That's amazing!
416
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,027
I knew you would.
You're a natural.
417
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,694
Well,
I had a great teacher.
418
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,030
Aww!
419
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,332
So, listen.
420
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:07,000
This is a big campus.
421
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,568
Maybe we could both be here
422
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,638
if we promise to stay
out of each other's way.
423
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,807
Well, I'd hate
to step on your toes.
424
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:16,576
No, no, y-you wouldn't.
425
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:17,710
I would hate to stop you
426
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,146
from doing something
you're so good at.
427
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,747
I guess I could
think about it.
428
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:23,583
I mean, it's not like
I'd be there all the time.
429
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,686
I, uh, have class
and office hours,
430
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:29,222
and I have the 11:00 a.m.
to 2:00 p.m. slot
431
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:33,160
at the campus radio station
on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
432
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,728
Hey, if you want
to be my sidekick...
433
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:37,664
Dad?
You're right.
434
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,232
It's better if I do
all the voices.
435
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,600
What's up?!
436
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:44,337
What's all this?
437
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:47,207
Well, you got me so nervous
about Joe's terrible day
438
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:49,909
that I put all this out
to cheer him up --
439
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,444
sundae, video game.
440
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:54,547
I even wrote him
a little pep talk.
441
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,049
We're lucky to live
in the golden age of medicines.
442
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,917
Hey, Grandpa, I'm staying here
for a couple of days,
443
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,386
and I do not want
to talk about it.
444
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:00,387
Cool.
445
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:03,022
That's Joe.
446
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,894
Hey, is my dad home?
447
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,762
Crap.
What is my mom doing here?
448
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,264
Come with me.
449
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,599
I owe him an apology.
450
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,934
I made a huge scene
at work.
451
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,371
Well, sometimes
the best way to say "I'm sorry"
452
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,706
is in an e-mail.
453
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:24,211
Why don't you write him
at JaysComputerMail@aol.com?
454
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:27,247
I plowed over a bunch of people
in a giant hamster ball.
455
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,316
And then I tried
to impress the foodies
456
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:30,817
by ordering Indian
for lunch.
457
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:31,951
And then I chewed some gum
458
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,653
to get rid
of my coriander breath,
459
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,588
and I'm pretty sure
some's in my hair.
460
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,324
And then I -- Oh --
461
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,659
tripped and fell
and skinned my knee,
462
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,628
and everybody saw
my underwear.
463
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:43,763
Crushed it!
464
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,798
First days are easy
when you're cool.
465
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:46,766
Uh-huh.
466
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,601
I do feel bad
for Conner B.
467
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,471
He brought stinky egg salad
for lunch.
468
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:54,341
He's gonna have to eat
with the nurse.
469
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:55,642
Oh, God!
Ay.
470
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,178
Uh, Joe,
why don't you go upstairs?
471
00:17:58,278 --> 00:17:59,279
Ugh.
472
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:00,947
I just want to go back
to my old office,
473
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:02,415
where I had friends.
474
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:03,683
I know.
475
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:04,651
Sometimes...
476
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:08,255
...you know,
we all have bad days.
477
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,790
And...
478
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:15,795
And sometimes, we have to --
to deal with mean boys.
479
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,130
Boys are mean.
480
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,831
You're right, Gloria.
481
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:19,866
I am right?
482
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:21,100
Mm.
483
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,870
Oh, you know what I love
about this family?
484
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:24,937
Mnh-mnh.
485
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:28,208
We're not quitters --
especially you.
486
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:33,012
Remember how hard it was
for you to learn how to swim?
487
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,481
It wa hard.
488
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:38,117
But now it's your favorite thing
in the world
489
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:42,189
because it reminds you
of how strong you are.
490
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,023
I mean,
I like to swim...
491
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,992
Tomorrow can
only be better.
492
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:47,059
Mm.
493
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,695
But just in case,
I'll come at lunch,
494
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,631
and I will kiss you
through the fence.
495
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,066
How about I text you
around 11:00
496
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:55,335
and let you know
how I'm doing?
497
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:58,405
So, you want to tell me
why you're avoiding your mom?
498
00:18:58,505 --> 00:18:59,372
I'm not avoiding her.
499
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,308
Hey, what's --
what's all this?
500
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:03,876
Danger O'Shea memorabilia.
I'm a big collector.
501
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:04,977
Who's Danger O'Shea?
502
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,313
Legendary daredevil.
503
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:09,081
Got famous for jumping over
a school bus on his motorcycle.
504
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:10,550
Get over here!
Talk to me.
505
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,485
Tell me why
you're avoiding your mom.
506
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:13,753
Okay.
507
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,389
Well, I've been on
a science track my whole life,
508
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,725
which my parents love --
"Alex the scientist."
509
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,728
But...lately, I've been
having second thoughts.
510
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,697
I've always loved singing,
and -- and I've been doing
511
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,433
some open-mic nights
recently,
512
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,235
and it's been going
really well.
513
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,437
I see where this is going.
Sing for me.
514
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,505
What, like...right now?
515
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,940
Just sing.
516
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:41,013
* Somewhere
over the rainbow *
517
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,583
* Skies are blue
518
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,518
That was great.
519
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,221
Stick to science.
520
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:51,190
Wow. You really got a knack
for pep talks in this house.
521
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,393
I'm not saying
it's impossible.
522
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:54,594
I'm saying play the odds.
523
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,696
For example,
you take this O'Shea guy.
524
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,931
Oh, good.
We're back to him.
But he was smart.
525
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,701
He started a business,
got established.
526
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,536
And when he couldn't kick
the daredevil dream,
527
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:04,637
he went for it.
528
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,406
And he was good --
real good --
529
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,040
until that fateful day
he tried to jump
530
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,943
over a motorcycle
in a school bus.
531
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,446
Fortunately for him,
unlike his act,
532
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,547
he had a safety net.
533
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,816
His business.
Jumped right back in.
534
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,150
Within a year,
it was bigger than ever.
535
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,920
The point is, you've been on
the science track for 15 years.
536
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,723
See it through.
Build a foundation.
537
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:25,792
If in a couple of years,
you still have the singing bug,
538
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:26,793
go for it!
539
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,395
I guess you're right.
540
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:30,062
It would be pretty dumb
of me
541
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,898
to give up
on the career path I'm on.
542
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,401
I could make half a mil
my first year out of school.
543
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:36,269
Wow!
What do they pay men?
544
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,408
So, Danger never did
another stunt again?
545
00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:44,176
He still brings that maverick
spirit to everything he does,
546
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,912
which is why he got
to the top of his industry.
547
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:49,482
Some people think
it's the greatest stunt
he ever pulled off.
548
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:53,152
Thanks for the talk...
549
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,854
Danger.
550
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,593
So, I won my case,
and even better,
551
00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:03,363
this is going up
at The Side Bar.
Yeah.
552
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,031
And now maybe
you'll have some respect
553
00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:06,299
for my investigative
skills.
554
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:09,001
It was a pretty simple case,
because, as I've said,
555
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:12,171
everyone has
something to hide.
556
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,673
Everyone.
557
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,952
You know --
Everyone.
558
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:31,123
-- Captions by VITA --40076
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