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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Greetings from Martin's Comedy Movies 2 00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:08,000 You're a fucking nerd. 3 00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:10,102 Boy, you lucky you even graduating. 4 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,603 - Fuck! - Oh! 5 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,505 You're good at this, huh? Yeah. 6 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,441 You're really good at this. Yeah. 7 00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:16,241 Hey, you want to be friends? 8 00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:20,079 Yours isn't loaded, right? 9 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,749 Just touch it. I'm scared. 10 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,018 Just touch it. 11 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:26,752 Seriously. All right, all right, all right. 12 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,789 You took a bullet for me, man. 13 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:31,657 You shot me in the dick! 14 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,227 Boom, motherfuckers! 15 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,463 You two sons of bitches are going to college! 16 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:47,272 Yin is characterized as slow, soft, passive 17 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,942 and is associated with water and femininity. 18 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:54,346 While, Yang, by contrast, is fast and solid and... 19 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,582 Man, this is BS. 20 00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:59,518 I thought we were going to actual college, not online college. 21 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,753 Listening for coded messages in lectures. 22 00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:02,754 What are you talking about? 23 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:03,655 Look around. 24 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:05,824 This is our city. 25 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:06,959 What do we want to be in college for? 26 00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:08,193 You're right. 27 00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,762 Partners for life. 28 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,765 At Metro city port, the tide comes in at 10:30 A.M. 29 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,434 Then it will return to the sea. 30 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,469 Metro port. One hour. 31 00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:19,471 ¶ ¶ 32 00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:21,406 let's do this. 33 00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,143 ¶ Turn down for what 34 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:29,148 ¶ turn down for what 35 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,484 surprise. There's two more arms. 36 00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,620 ¶ ¶ 37 00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:38,690 ¶ turn down for what 38 00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:51,303 ¶ turn down for what ¶ 39 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,939 - shit! That's the ghost. - The ghost? 40 00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,440 Joste Nillsen, 41 00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,309 biggest trafficker of illegal goods in Metro city. 42 00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,278 He teamed up with a Mexican cartel 43 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,013 and they're running all this shit through the port. 44 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:01,980 What the hell are we supposed to be buying? 45 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:02,781 I don't know. 46 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,685 What are you doing? Huh? 47 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,320 I got a new identity that's Gonna be killer. 48 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,955 I'll be throwing it to you to make it legit. 49 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,624 Okay. 50 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,393 I'm Gonna need you to improvise. Okay? 51 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,594 I don't want to improvise. 52 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,396 I'm Gonna need you to improvise. 53 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,131 I suck at improvising. I don't want to do it. 54 00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:21,733 I need absolute silence while I fall into character. 55 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,603 I need absolute silence while I fall into character. 56 00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:27,406 Can you give me a head start on... 57 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,875 I need absolute... I need absolute silence. 58 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,277 Can you please... Absolute silence. 59 00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,282 ¶ ¶ 60 00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:49,962 Are you fucking serious right now? 61 00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:54,366 All right. I hate people who are late. 62 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,471 We're trying to see that product. 63 00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:00,806 Shit! 64 00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,942 Yo, sleepy! What's up, homie? 65 00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:05,811 You know my cousin, sad boy. 66 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,813 I think you got the wrong guy, homes. 67 00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:10,115 Oh, that's bullshit, man! You sleepy! 68 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,650 Everyone say in the barrio, 69 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,486 "sleepy, he like the Mexican Wolverine" and shit. 70 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,455 Hey, my partner here, he want to see the product. 71 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,589 Why ain't he talking? 72 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,461 My name is Jeff. 73 00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:24,796 That's Jeffe, man. 74 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,200 Tell 'em about mousie's quinceanera, man. 75 00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:31,603 Tell 'em about that crazy adventure you guys had. 76 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,940 I don't know what you're talking about. 77 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,509 Oh, man, when you were telling the story last night, 78 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,511 you had so much detail! 79 00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,713 The detail was so rich! It was rich detail! 80 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,383 Go into incredibly descriptive details 81 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,684 of the story, so we all know. 82 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:47,953 Oh, yes. 83 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,757 It was Dora and Diego 84 00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:53,292 and Swiper. 85 00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:54,993 Swiper? 86 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,595 Who was that you choked out, man? 87 00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,530 He had it coming! Who was that? 88 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,800 Boots. 89 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,137 No, man, that wasn't boots! Boots isn't a real name! 90 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,305 You got to tell them the real story, man. 91 00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:08,273 Start over from the top. 92 00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:11,376 That's a made-up name. 93 00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:15,047 I can't believe the punks I have to deal with these days. 94 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:22,688 It really makes me miss the '90s, 95 00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:25,691 when we had professionals around. 96 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:29,928 You want to check out the goods? 97 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:32,798 Check it out. 98 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:37,035 And shut up. Right? 99 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,770 Where'd you find this gringo, man? 100 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,540 At the fucking Mumford & sons concert and shit? 101 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,585 What is it? Guns? Drugs? 102 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,388 No! No! 103 00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:58,957 Dude! It's gross! 104 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,826 It's inking in my mouth! 105 00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:03,462 I'll get it off. 106 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:06,565 Its tentacle is eating me! 107 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,533 It's so strong! It's really on there, man. 108 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,668 It's biting my face! 109 00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:14,172 Shit! 110 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,908 Black market exotic animals, just like we expected to be in there. 111 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:17,976 The accents are gone, huh? 112 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,846 Take them out, guys. They're cops. 113 00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:31,723 What was that? I don't know! I think we're moving. 114 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,726 We're definitely moving! 115 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,294 There's fucking birds and shit in here! 116 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,462 There's actual shit! 117 00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:39,431 What the fuck? 118 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,867 There's a fucking dragon in here! 119 00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:42,634 Shit! 120 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:46,705 What was that? 121 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,476 Dude, that was our car. 122 00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,712 We shared so much in that car! 123 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:57,382 I'm going to shoot them in the face for that! That was our fucking car! 124 00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,384 What are you doing? 125 00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,219 Don't teen wolf on the truck! 126 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,354 Don't leave me here alone! 127 00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:03,388 Then get up here! 128 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,823 I can't do that! 129 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,759 Then fucking climb around. Come on, climb around. 130 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,795 Let's go. Come on, buddy. You got it. 131 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:10,829 This is so scary! 132 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:11,897 Shoot him! 133 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,465 Don't leave me out here! 134 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,400 I'm all out. You stupid moron! 135 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,501 That's it. Come on. 136 00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:20,472 Fucking get up here. Come on. Fuck! 137 00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:21,807 All right, you good? Yeah! 138 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,175 All you got to do is walk now, okay? Okay. 139 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:26,845 Shit! 140 00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:30,649 What the fuck are you doing? Get up here! 141 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,417 I can't! 142 00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,252 All right, fine, I guess I'll just drag you. 143 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,787 I'm Gonna die! 144 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,423 You're not Gonna die. Just get the fuck up here! 145 00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:44,196 Pull yourself up here. 146 00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:46,598 Use your core! 147 00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,902 You got it, you got it. Come on, come on. Yeah! 148 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:51,636 All right. Think you can stand on your own now? 149 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,038 Yes! 150 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:53,805 I think we lost them. 151 00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,107 Shit! 152 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:58,076 He's the fucking Terminator! 153 00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:00,011 That's fucking dangerous! 154 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,784 You are under arrest! 155 00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,819 Pull the truck over! 156 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,988 I said pull the fucking truck over right fucking now! 157 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,724 You owe me a car, 158 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,226 and it'd better be a fucking Lamborghini, you bitch! 159 00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:15,560 I did it! 160 00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:16,528 You have the right to remain silent. 161 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,196 Oh, shit! 162 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,405 Holy Moses! 163 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:28,773 Shit. 164 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,576 What happened? 165 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:32,577 I think they got away. 166 00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:38,650 Is that a hickey? 167 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:43,788 Oh. This was actually an octopus-related incident. 168 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:48,860 I'd opened a crate and the octopus had leapt onto my face. 169 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,663 Apparently, they have many, many arms. 170 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,098 They have eight tentacles. 171 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,466 Yes, and... 172 00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,434 Look, ladies, 173 00:08:56,436 --> 00:09:00,872 nobody gave a shit about the jump street reboot when you first came on. 174 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,941 Anyone with half a brain, myself included, 175 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,744 thought it was destined to fail spectacularly. 176 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,312 But you got lucky. 177 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,080 So now this department has invested 178 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:13,118 a lot of money to make sure jump street keeps going. 179 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,353 We've doubled their budget. 180 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:18,189 As if spending twice the money guaranteed twice the profit. 181 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,593 Like that's going to work. 182 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:25,864 Yeah. Well, the commissioner's convinced this debacle happened 183 00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,600 because you weren't doing the same undercover student thing 184 00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,001 you did the first time. 185 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,337 She doesn't get that it's always worse 186 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,271 the second time around. 187 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,207 You settle into worn-out roles. 188 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,877 One gets possessive, the other runs away. 189 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,079 You begin a slow, painful unraveling, 190 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,615 as all the good things that came before 191 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:47,052 begin to be crushed by the trash compactor of sadness. 192 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,221 That doesn't sound like us. I mean... 193 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,890 I'm getting a divorce. 194 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:56,528 We don't want to do the same thing. 195 00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:58,930 We want to burst through our ceiling. 196 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,265 And you're Gonna find another ceiling 197 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,800 and you got to bust through that one, 198 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:02,601 and you just got to keep hammering ceilings. 199 00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,502 Okay, okay, okay. 200 00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:07,172 What if we actually went into the secret service 201 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,640 and, like, tried to protect the white house? 202 00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,809 I think... I don't think that would work. 203 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,544 I'm going to ask you to stop talking. 204 00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:13,979 I thought it was a pretty good idea. 205 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:17,716 Do the same thing as last time, everyone's happy. 206 00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:23,655 I can't believe the Koreans bought their church back. 207 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,423 Yeah. Good thing there was an even bigger 208 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,158 abandoned church directly across the street. 209 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,829 Yeah. That's convenient. Yes, it is convenient. 210 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,364 Next year, we'll probably just be right back across the street. 211 00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:33,765 Just next door. 212 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,600 Let's not get ahead of ourselves. 213 00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:36,868 We're not ahead of ourselves. 214 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:37,402 We're right next to each other. 215 00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:44,109 This is awesome. Like, way more expensive for no reason. 216 00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:46,044 Look at Dickson's office. 217 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:49,247 Looks like a giant cube of ice. 218 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,749 How you bitches like jump street now? 219 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,017 Hey! 220 00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,719 Y'all see this shit? 221 00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:57,689 22 jump street is the lick. 222 00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:59,224 And I got a big-ass raise 223 00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:01,726 to babysit you two fuckers again. 224 00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:04,162 Designed it myself. We got an Espresso bar. 225 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,964 I'm thinking about a shark tank over there. 226 00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,432 Ooh, I like sharks. 227 00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:11,202 Fuck a 21 jump street, and fuck a Korean Jesus. 228 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,104 Whoa! Cap, come on, Korean Jesus is right there. 229 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,739 That's Vietnamese Jesus. 230 00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,941 See, this a Vietnamese church. 231 00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:20,345 You racist, sacrilegious sack of shit. 232 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:25,116 Look at that. Vietnamese Jesus just dripping Swagoo. 233 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,651 And we got some new dumb-ass interns. 234 00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:28,119 Hey, hey! Look alive! Huh? 235 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,321 Boys. Yo, jenko. 236 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,060 Hey, Schmidt! 237 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,699 Don't do that. 238 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,801 So, they want the same shit, so here we go. 239 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,170 Same identities. 240 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,139 Same assignment. 241 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,641 We're going back to high school? 242 00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,576 Your ass look like you about 50. 243 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,111 You're going to mc state. 244 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,746 We're going to college for real? 245 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:58,216 Somebody's out there, they're cooking up a new drug. 246 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,252 It's Adderall mixed with ecstasy mixed with God knows what else. 247 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,888 "Wipey"? 248 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,157 No, you dumb motherfucker. "Whyphy." 249 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,627 Stands for "work hard? Yes. Play hard? Yes." 250 00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,396 Now, these kids take this shit, 251 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:15,066 and they get laser-focused for about four hours of studying, 252 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:18,169 and then they party like it's goddamn 1999. 253 00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,338 Who's this? 254 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,906 That's Cynthia Watson. 255 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,742 She was a student at mc state. 256 00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:24,976 She took some whyphy, 257 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,244 got locked out of her dorm, 258 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,479 ended up falling off the roof. 259 00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:29,247 And now she's dead. 260 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,953 That's her buying drugs on campus. 261 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,654 And that's the dealer. 262 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,857 Find him and we find the supplier. 263 00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:41,726 Sir, can I just say, 264 00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:45,597 it is so refreshing to have a case with a black victim. 265 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,299 I mean, we care so much more because she's black. 266 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,568 I think what he's really trying to say 267 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:53,371 is that we care equally. 268 00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,541 It's a tie, really, how much we care. 269 00:12:56,543 --> 00:13:00,078 Uh... no, we're not. If it was a white person, I wouldn't even care. 270 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,312 One less cracker-ass cracker to worry about. 271 00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:06,484 Why every time you speak I want to throw the fuck up? 272 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:09,387 Infiltrate the dealer, find the supplier. 273 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,889 ¶ ¶ 274 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:20,565 You all right? 275 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,567 Yeah. 276 00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:24,402 It's just... 277 00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:30,275 I'm the first person in my family to pretend to go to college. 278 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,110 Best part is we get to do it together. 279 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,246 What's up, college? 280 00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,648 What's up, bro? We're 322. 281 00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:37,715 Fuck high school, right? 282 00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:38,850 Fuck high school. 283 00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,052 Oh, so tight! 284 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,888 Oh, this is so baller! 285 00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,890 Beds... oh, shit. 286 00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:48,159 Oh, dope. That looks like cum. 287 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,828 That's cum. Okay. All right. 288 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,162 Already got cum on the mattress, Dawg. 289 00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:54,432 Welcome to college. Fuck, yeah. 290 00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,309 Hilarious shirt that signals we drink alcohol. 291 00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:09,247 Some bacon machine that my mom got me. 292 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,582 I do not understand how it works. 293 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,226 It's true. 294 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,360 Super high-tech police gear. 295 00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:26,097 Carte blanche with the budget, motherfucker. 296 00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:30,869 I'm going to veto that poster. 297 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,371 It's a touch childish. 298 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,107 Okay. What do lambos have to do with touching children? 299 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,276 Lambos are lame. 300 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:41,112 I get one choice. I get one thing that I'm not... 301 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,881 We have to agree. You know what I mean? 302 00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,383 What up, fellas? We're your across-the-hall neighbors. 303 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,351 Oh, hey, there's two of you. You're twins. 304 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,485 What's up, man? 305 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,854 We're the Yangs, man. Kenny Yang. What's up? 306 00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,189 Keith Yang. 307 00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,523 What's going on? What's going on? 308 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,691 Did you say the Yangs? 309 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,293 Yeah, dad's Chinese, man. 310 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,528 Our mom's not Chinese. She's black. 311 00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,997 Oh. She's like real black. 312 00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,632 Like Wesley snipes black. Exactly. 313 00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:01,666 We're brothers, too. 314 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:04,769 No. He's not kidding. He's serious. 315 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,170 Oh, really? 316 00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,605 What? Like, one of y'all older? 317 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,307 Mmm-hmm. 318 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,174 Yeah, 'cause you got crow's feet under your eyes, man. 319 00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,876 You specifically. 320 00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:14,646 We're actually just normal college age. 321 00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:16,314 I mean, even if you're a little older, that's cool, man, 322 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,615 because, you know, girls here love older dudes. 323 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:18,917 That's true. 324 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,785 Plus, there's mad fuckable girls here. 325 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,720 Mad fuckable. Especially during spring break. 326 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,923 I love spring break. But I do have to say, 327 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,424 I've fucked a thousand girls by now 328 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,692 and I don't know, at the end of the day, 329 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:28,960 you just kind of want something 330 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,061 that's just a little deeper really. 331 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,932 Yeah, balls deeper. Jinx. Buy me a coke. 332 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:37,335 Oh, snap, we're still saying the same thing. This is amazing! 333 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:40,271 Carrots. Pumpernickels. Glow sticks. Twins! 334 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,173 That's dope, dude. That's so sick. 335 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:45,443 That's crazy. We have that brother connection, too. 336 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,811 You ready? Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 337 00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:48,513 Pirates! Baby feet! Paper clips! Bananas! 338 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,481 Sun! Anger! I don't know! Words! 339 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,716 Quicksand! Shoes! 340 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,117 Boom! 341 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,552 That's hip-hop, man. Awesome. 342 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:55,453 That's great. 343 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,056 It's Gonna be super fun. 344 00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,157 All right? Same as last time. 345 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,060 Dude, if it's like last time, 346 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,928 you're Gonna have an awesome time, and it's Gonna suck for me. 347 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:05,596 No. You're Gonna have an awesome time, too, 348 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,165 because I'm Gonna make sure of it. 349 00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,633 You took a bullet for me. 350 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,202 That's right, I did, and it sucked, but I'd do it again. 351 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,404 No way. It's my turn. I owe you a life debt. 352 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:14,505 Co-ed bathrooms. 353 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,307 What? Oh, shit. 354 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,077 I'm not Gonna take a shit 355 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:19,944 the entire time I'm here. 356 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,179 I know. 357 00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:23,614 Hey. How you doing? 358 00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:25,950 Hey. 359 00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:28,686 What's up? 'Sup? 360 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,788 Just exhausted from inventing Facebook 361 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,124 or whatever website people our age use. 362 00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:38,129 They still have books? 363 00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:40,198 I thought they just put the books inside the computers. 364 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,734 Yeah, I guess the kids just use the stacks to hide and have sex. 365 00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:44,736 So we'll go to all Cynthia's classes and activities, 366 00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:46,137 ask around about the drug 367 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,772 and find out who the dealer is. 368 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,040 Yeah, it's just like last time. 369 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,908 Exactly like last time. 370 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,076 Dude, in human sexuality, 371 00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:53,644 do you get to fuck 372 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,146 or do you just get to watch people fuck? 373 00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:56,781 Neither. 374 00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,584 What the fuck am I taking it for, then? 375 00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,989 Now, obviously, we've all heard this statement before, 376 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,726 I've got a first impression for you. 377 00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,064 Oh, y'all like psychology? 378 00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,399 Tracy Morgan. 379 00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:19,203 Nobody? 380 00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:22,640 Work hard, play hard, am I right? 381 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:28,946 You looking for some whyphy? 382 00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,048 Yeah, man, that'd be sick. 383 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,682 Go to the police station, 384 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,451 walk in and ask your captain to see the evidence room 385 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:34,252 'cause you're a fucking narc. 386 00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:37,355 I think you're mistaken. 387 00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,323 You're literally wearing your badge. 388 00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:40,291 Did you really just check to see 389 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,359 if you were wearing your badge? 390 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:42,360 This guy's a fucking cop. 391 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,128 I didn't look down. 392 00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:50,368 "Wait, Professor Jacobs, doesn't history happen a long time ago?" 393 00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,203 Well, history happens... 394 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,306 This class is such a gut. 395 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,207 Hey, you guys play football? 396 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,209 No, this is actually my laptop. 397 00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,243 Yeah, I'm taking notes right now. 398 00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,313 I'm kidding. It's a football. 399 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,314 Mr. Mcquaid? 400 00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:05,550 Covalent bonds. 401 00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:12,423 What has been the result of the war on drugs? 402 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,592 Why would you ask me? I'm not a cop. 403 00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:17,595 Because this is a college seminar, 404 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,064 and that's how college seminars work. 405 00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:23,634 Professor gets into a lively conversation with the student. 406 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,771 Friction creates fire, and that leads to lessons learned. 407 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,039 Well, it's definitely harder to get drugs. 408 00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:29,607 I can personally tell you that. 409 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,576 The average price of cocaine 410 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,545 has dropped 70% in the last 30 years. 411 00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,414 Then your dealer's probably selling you some pretty stepped-on shit. 412 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:41,452 Mr. Mcquaid, college is a wonderful place. 413 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:45,022 This is where you get to decide who you actually are, 414 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,725 instead of the person that you're clearly pretending to be right now, 415 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:50,161 which everyone sees through, by the way. 416 00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:53,664 You got to decide, "do I just keep doing the same thing, 417 00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:56,100 "or am I Gonna choose a different path 418 00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,602 "and question my convictions?" 419 00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,705 I don't have any prior convictions. 420 00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:05,309 Why are you saying this stuff? 421 00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,448 That's exactly the answer I wanted, Mr. Mcquaid! 422 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,884 I want you to question what I'm saying. 423 00:19:12,886 --> 00:19:15,219 This is the basis of this whole course, 424 00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:16,821 and that's the beauty of college. 425 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,389 You can say whatever you want. 426 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,057 You can be whatever you want. 427 00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,894 I mean, I have tenure. I can really say whatever I want. 428 00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,595 George Washington was a black lesbian. 429 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,430 The Eiffel Tower is made of dildos. 430 00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,199 They can't fire me. I'm indestructible. 431 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:30,801 I'm sleeping with two of my students. 432 00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,069 Her and her. I actually am. 433 00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,138 Now, just like you did before, 434 00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:37,742 I want you right now to say whatever you want. 435 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,377 Say whatever you want. 436 00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,913 Fieto. 437 00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:45,183 "Fieto," not a word, but I'm Gonna accept it. 438 00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,152 You can do whatever you want with your life, Mr. Mcquaid. 439 00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:50,121 The only way you can fail this class 440 00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:52,523 is by not becoming who you truly are. 441 00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:54,792 Please respond to my text. 442 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,798 Okay, we got time for just one more improv game. 443 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,800 For this one, we need a ton of different suggestions. 444 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:05,036 So, we just need you guys to fill in the blank 445 00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,637 in a sentence that we're Gonna set up. 446 00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:09,373 So it'll go like this. Oh, I'm so hungry, I wish I had a... 447 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,342 Tampon! Okay, but we want... 448 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,710 We want it to be actual food 449 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,145 so that it, like, makes sense with the game. 450 00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:17,081 It's more fun that way. So, uh, let's try it one more time. 451 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,116 Oh, I've got to get home so I can feed my... 452 00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:20,651 Boner! 453 00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:21,953 You know what? Let's just play the game, okay? 454 00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:24,388 All right, so what would you... 455 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,856 Hey, that girl's in my psych class. 456 00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:27,258 Damn, she's hot. Go talk to her. 457 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,759 You come talk to her with me. 458 00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:31,462 Stop being a pussy and go talk to her. Go. 459 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:32,763 All right, all right. 460 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,832 Coming to the stage, we got... 461 00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:38,970 J. Bohnes, aka... 462 00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:41,072 Hey. Hi. 463 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,473 I think we're in the same psych class. 464 00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:44,642 Oh, yeah. Hi. 465 00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:46,244 Yeah. 466 00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:51,115 "Pills! Pills! Bills! Pills! 467 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:54,619 "Bills! A sign of the times that rhymes 468 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,487 "Amanda Bynes 469 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:59,156 "drop that raggedy Andy circus 470 00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,058 "circle jerkus..." 471 00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,027 You guys are the improv guys, right? Yeah. 472 00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,428 That's cool. 473 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,230 You're the guy with the terrible suggestions. 474 00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:08,933 Yeah, yeah. You're welcome, man. Yeah. 475 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:12,236 Thanks, guys. Um, lady j is Gonna be up next for you. 476 00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:14,639 Cynthia, that girl who died, 477 00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:15,840 she used to come here all the time, right? 478 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,074 Mmm. 479 00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,877 This piece is called areolas. 480 00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:22,346 Did you know her? 481 00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:24,315 Yeah, she lived across the hall from me. 482 00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,750 Yeah? So why do you care so much? 483 00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:28,352 I'm... I'm writing a... 484 00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:30,588 "Greedy man hands!" 485 00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:33,157 ...a slam poem in her honor. 486 00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,759 Early stages, very early stages. 487 00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:36,060 Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. 488 00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:37,561 Wouldn't it be better 489 00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:39,130 just to, like, plan the stuff out ahead of time, 490 00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:42,800 and then not say it in front of people and embarrass yourself? 491 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:46,237 That's a thing that people do. That's stand-up comedy. 492 00:21:46,239 --> 00:21:47,371 That's probably what you should do, 493 00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,073 because that stuff's funny. 494 00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:53,010 "My brown nipple will produce white milk during lactation..." 495 00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,612 What do you think of this? 496 00:21:54,614 --> 00:21:56,614 I actually think it's really powerful. 497 00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,149 That's cool that you said that, 498 00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:00,351 'cause I actually thought it was really powerful, too, 499 00:22:00,353 --> 00:22:03,020 when the one girl was talking about her nips and shit. 500 00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:08,426 Okay, does anybody have anything they want to share? 501 00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:09,760 Let's see what you got. 502 00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:11,395 Any more poets in the audience? 503 00:22:11,397 --> 00:22:12,396 I... I mean, do you really do poetry? 504 00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:14,799 I do, and I will. 505 00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:16,167 I got somebody. What? 506 00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:18,969 Okay, we got somebody. All right, give it up, guys. 507 00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,371 Yeah! Okay. 508 00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,639 Just go up there. All right, okay. 509 00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:22,807 Okay. No pressure. 510 00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:23,607 You'll see, it's good. Yeah! 511 00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:30,681 Um... 512 00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:34,752 This is a work in progress. 513 00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:37,688 So, uh... 514 00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:44,562 "Slam poetry! 515 00:22:45,263 --> 00:22:46,464 "Yelling! 516 00:22:47,165 --> 00:22:48,099 "Angry! 517 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:52,770 "Waving my hands a lot! 518 00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:54,972 "Specific point of view on things 519 00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:56,774 "Cynthia! 520 00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:00,478 "Cynthia 521 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,714 "Jesus died for our sin-thee-uhs 522 00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:05,616 "Jesus cried 523 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,585 "runaway bride 524 00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:10,121 "Julia Roberts! 525 00:23:10,956 --> 00:23:12,757 "Julia rob 526 00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:14,525 "hurts 527 00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:17,962 "Cynthia! 528 00:23:20,133 --> 00:23:22,233 "Cynthia 529 00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:23,934 "you're dead you are dead 530 00:23:28,273 --> 00:23:29,073 "You're dead" 531 00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:33,144 that's for Cynthia, who's dead. 532 00:23:39,017 --> 00:23:40,017 Whoo! 533 00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:48,192 I don't have a single lead. 534 00:23:48,194 --> 00:23:51,028 I do. I hear you can get whyphy on campus anywhere 24/7. 535 00:23:53,231 --> 00:23:54,899 Do you think they mean whyphy the drug 536 00:23:54,901 --> 00:23:55,900 or Wi-Fi like the Internet? 537 00:23:57,335 --> 00:23:58,869 What... 538 00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:02,339 Fuck you, brain. 539 00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:05,509 How did we find the dealers so easy the first time? 540 00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:07,011 Well, his number was literally on a sticker. 541 00:24:07,013 --> 00:24:09,013 Well, let's go find this guy's sticker. 542 00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:10,781 I don't think this guy does stickers. 543 00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:13,717 Well, we need help. We need to consult an expert. 544 00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:15,686 Yo, dude, you shot him in the dick, dude. 545 00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:16,754 I got him in the dick. Yep. 546 00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:19,190 "Shot him in the dick." 547 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,529 If it isn't Turner and hooch, in the flesh. 548 00:24:25,531 --> 00:24:27,998 Holy shit, you are looking fit. 549 00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:32,436 Hey, you should get some tips from this guy. 550 00:24:32,438 --> 00:24:35,172 He's looking good. Look at those pectoral muscles. 551 00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:37,241 That's the kind of definition I want out of you, man. 552 00:24:37,243 --> 00:24:39,076 What's up, Eric? Hey. 553 00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,645 Mr. Walters, we should, um... 554 00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:43,180 Or I should apologize for, uh... 555 00:24:45,617 --> 00:24:47,117 For shooting my penis off? 556 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,486 Yeah. Yeah. 557 00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:51,822 Don't sweat it, brother. I'm liberated. Totally. 558 00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:52,756 You know they gave me a vagina? 559 00:24:53,758 --> 00:24:55,693 It's awesome. You guys want to see it? 560 00:24:55,695 --> 00:24:57,761 No, no, no, no! No, no, no. 561 00:24:57,763 --> 00:24:59,930 That's fine. All right. Eric's seen it. 562 00:24:59,932 --> 00:25:02,266 Eric's been all up in that shit. Isn't that right, Eric? 563 00:25:02,268 --> 00:25:03,734 You guys got to get me the fuck out of here. 564 00:25:03,736 --> 00:25:04,768 Hey, guess what. 565 00:25:04,770 --> 00:25:05,769 I'm Eric's bitch. 566 00:25:06,271 --> 00:25:07,404 No, you're not. 567 00:25:07,406 --> 00:25:09,206 Yes! I am! 568 00:25:09,774 --> 00:25:10,875 I'm your bitch. 569 00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:14,545 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, honey. 570 00:25:14,547 --> 00:25:16,914 I didn't mean that. You know that, right? 571 00:25:16,916 --> 00:25:18,883 I am such a bitch when aunt Flo shows up. 572 00:25:18,885 --> 00:25:21,886 It bleeds so much, it's crazy. 573 00:25:21,888 --> 00:25:24,288 It's like the elevator doors opening in the shining. 574 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:26,957 Your vagina doesn't fucking work, man. 575 00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:29,627 Worked for you last night. 576 00:25:29,629 --> 00:25:32,963 You are so clearly forcing Eric into this relationship. 577 00:25:32,965 --> 00:25:35,032 Eric, am I forcing you into anything? 578 00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:37,268 Yes. See? 579 00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:38,669 Look, they sent us in undercover at a college 580 00:25:38,671 --> 00:25:40,304 to find the dealer of this new synthetic, 581 00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:42,339 and no one will tell us anything. 582 00:25:42,341 --> 00:25:44,608 That's 'cause you guys look like fucking narcs, all right? 583 00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:46,210 College kids aren't dumb like Eric. 584 00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:47,845 I was supposed to go to Berkeley. 585 00:25:47,847 --> 00:25:50,581 Well, they gave us a picture, so we do have that. 586 00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:51,749 Well, that's your lead, motherfucker! 587 00:25:51,751 --> 00:25:53,651 That's what you start with. 588 00:25:53,653 --> 00:25:55,619 I know, but we can't see his face, so we don't know who it is. 589 00:25:55,621 --> 00:25:57,655 "We don't know who it is. 590 00:25:57,657 --> 00:25:59,723 "I'm Schmidt. My pants are filled with doody." 591 00:25:59,725 --> 00:26:01,792 That's you. 592 00:26:01,794 --> 00:26:02,760 That doesn't sound anything like me. 593 00:26:04,029 --> 00:26:05,596 You sort of sound like that. 594 00:26:05,598 --> 00:26:06,764 That doesn't sound anything like me. 595 00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:07,831 "That doesn't sound anything like me." 596 00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:09,266 It's not not you. 597 00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:13,237 Eric! Close your eyes and tell me who's talking right now. 598 00:26:14,974 --> 00:26:16,974 That's Schmidt being a little bitch. 599 00:26:16,976 --> 00:26:18,542 That's just not a good impression. 600 00:26:18,544 --> 00:26:19,743 Whoa! 601 00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:21,679 Nice job, super sleuths. 602 00:26:21,681 --> 00:26:22,980 Did you even bother to look at the fucking picture? 603 00:26:23,481 --> 00:26:25,015 Yeah. Huh? 604 00:26:25,017 --> 00:26:26,050 There's a reflection right here. 605 00:26:27,819 --> 00:26:29,987 Your fucking guy's got a tattoo. 606 00:26:29,989 --> 00:26:33,557 Find the tattoo, find the dealer. 607 00:26:33,559 --> 00:26:37,728 Fuck, man, I don't know. I do a lot of stupid tattoos to drunk kids. 608 00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:39,063 Do you remember that stupid tattoo? 609 00:26:39,065 --> 00:26:40,931 A bazooka? 610 00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:44,535 Think I might have did it on a football player. 611 00:26:44,537 --> 00:26:45,903 Guy with a red Mohawk. I don't know. 612 00:26:45,905 --> 00:26:47,771 They all start to look the same to me. 613 00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:49,607 I think I know exactly who he's talking about. 614 00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:54,378 Fuck you! 615 00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:56,981 Fuck you, you little walk-on fuck! 616 00:26:56,983 --> 00:26:58,782 I can't, like, move around in these things. 617 00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:00,451 God, I love walk-on day! 618 00:27:00,453 --> 00:27:01,318 Fuck, yeah. 619 00:27:04,022 --> 00:27:05,489 That's a weird time to be q-tipping. 620 00:27:05,491 --> 00:27:08,325 You're all fucking pussies! 621 00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:10,260 Dude, you don't have to do this. What? 622 00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:11,829 I just don't want you to get hurt. I'm not Gonna get... 623 00:27:11,831 --> 00:27:12,963 Whoops. 624 00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:14,264 Shit. Whoa. 625 00:27:14,266 --> 00:27:15,833 Dude, I am so sorry. 626 00:27:15,835 --> 00:27:16,934 It's all right, man. Don't worry about it, man. 627 00:27:16,936 --> 00:27:18,402 Are you sure? All right... Yeah. Ow. 628 00:27:18,404 --> 00:27:20,471 Shit. I got it. 629 00:27:20,473 --> 00:27:21,705 Okay, I got it, I got it. 630 00:27:21,707 --> 00:27:23,307 Ow! That's fine. 631 00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:24,875 I'll get it. No, no, let me get it, let me get it. 632 00:27:24,877 --> 00:27:26,276 No, I got it. Let me just get it. No, let me get it. 633 00:27:26,278 --> 00:27:28,312 I got it, I got it. Let's just... 634 00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:31,048 Dude, I'm sorry. I got my q-tip in your meat, bro. 635 00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:33,050 No, man, I got my... I got my meat in your q-tip. 636 00:27:33,052 --> 00:27:35,319 It's like a whole new type of sandwich. 637 00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,287 Like, a meat q-tip. 638 00:27:37,289 --> 00:27:38,122 Like a meat-qute. 639 00:27:40,725 --> 00:27:42,126 That's funny. 640 00:27:42,128 --> 00:27:43,727 Hey, you guys want some of this sandwich? 641 00:27:43,729 --> 00:27:45,129 It's a meat-qute sandwich. 642 00:27:45,131 --> 00:27:47,398 Me and this guy are having a meat-qute. 643 00:27:49,267 --> 00:27:51,035 You're hilarious, dude. What's your name? 644 00:27:51,037 --> 00:27:53,070 Brad. Wait... Brad. 645 00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:54,405 Uh, yeah, yeah, it's Brad. 646 00:27:54,407 --> 00:27:55,839 I'm Zook. Nice to meet you. Zook. 647 00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:57,808 Nice to meet you, too, man. 648 00:27:58,610 --> 00:27:59,810 Blue 20! 649 00:28:01,246 --> 00:28:02,413 Blue 20! 650 00:28:03,248 --> 00:28:04,381 Set, hut! 651 00:28:05,650 --> 00:28:07,317 ¶ ¶ 652 00:28:26,604 --> 00:28:27,438 You love walk-on day now? 653 00:28:31,643 --> 00:28:32,876 Your arm all right? You want to take that sleeve off? 654 00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:36,380 No, I'm good. 655 00:28:38,316 --> 00:28:40,684 Dude, holy shit, bro. Great fucking catch, dude. 656 00:28:40,686 --> 00:28:44,455 If you see that safety line up that deep, though, hit me quicker. 657 00:28:44,457 --> 00:28:46,356 Oh, yeah, I didn't know you had wheels like that, bro. 658 00:28:46,358 --> 00:28:48,058 It's funny, 'cause he's my brother. So... 659 00:28:48,626 --> 00:28:50,194 Um... 660 00:28:50,196 --> 00:28:53,931 Hey, uh, you know, we have this rush party at zeta. 661 00:28:53,933 --> 00:28:56,800 but I thought, you know, you could come by and meet the guys. 662 00:28:56,802 --> 00:28:58,302 It'd be really fun, I think. 663 00:28:58,304 --> 00:28:59,436 Great. Yeah, maybe we will. 664 00:29:00,972 --> 00:29:02,606 Are you guys, like, together? 665 00:29:02,608 --> 00:29:04,508 Yeah. Yeah, this is my bro. 666 00:29:04,510 --> 00:29:07,044 That's... Funny, dude. You're funny. 667 00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:09,012 Oh. 668 00:29:09,014 --> 00:29:10,714 Uh, really? Wow. Um, okay. 669 00:29:10,716 --> 00:29:12,483 Yeah, man, sure. You, too, you can come, too. 670 00:29:12,485 --> 00:29:13,917 We'll see what we can do. 671 00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:15,052 Also, I said a bunch of stuff earlier 672 00:29:15,054 --> 00:29:16,186 that you didn't acknowledge... 673 00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:18,055 Great catch. Cool, yeah. 674 00:29:18,057 --> 00:29:19,156 See you then. So you won't address that? 675 00:29:19,158 --> 00:29:20,624 What the fuck's up with that guy? 676 00:29:20,626 --> 00:29:22,526 All we have to do now is rush the frat long enough 677 00:29:22,528 --> 00:29:25,295 to confirm that rooster has that bazooka tattoo. 678 00:29:25,297 --> 00:29:27,364 Look, man, do you think it's cool if you come? 679 00:29:27,366 --> 00:29:29,533 'Cause, I mean, he kind of really just asked me. 680 00:29:29,535 --> 00:29:30,601 I just don't want to start off 681 00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:31,301 on the wrong foot with this guy. 682 00:29:33,639 --> 00:29:36,206 Dude, you're tripping. We do everything together. 683 00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:37,841 You should lose the puka shells, though. 684 00:29:37,843 --> 00:29:40,210 Things are different since you didn't go to college. 685 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:43,347 Yo, Brad! What's up, dude? 686 00:29:44,315 --> 00:29:45,716 Same puka, dude. 687 00:29:45,718 --> 00:29:47,017 You got the same... Puka bros. 688 00:29:47,019 --> 00:29:48,252 Holy shit! 689 00:29:49,354 --> 00:29:50,454 Look at him, it's, like, all the same. 690 00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:51,955 Dude, you wear pants, too? 691 00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:54,024 What? Bros, man. Dude. 692 00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:55,626 I knew we were Gonna be connected, just like that. 693 00:29:55,628 --> 00:29:57,094 Yeah, why don't you guys just tie your dicks together 694 00:29:57,096 --> 00:29:57,895 and get married, right, rooster? 695 00:29:57,897 --> 00:29:59,930 Rooster. What's up, bro? 696 00:29:59,932 --> 00:30:01,431 You look good, man. 697 00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:02,766 What's up, rooster? 698 00:30:02,768 --> 00:30:04,434 How you doing, man? Digging the puka. 699 00:30:04,436 --> 00:30:05,769 Thanks, dude. I can't believe it's the same... 700 00:30:05,771 --> 00:30:07,070 How you doing, rooster? 701 00:30:07,072 --> 00:30:08,205 Rooster is getting some pop. 702 00:30:08,207 --> 00:30:09,139 Why don't you go check him out? 703 00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:14,545 You in the zone, bro? In the fucking zone, dude. 704 00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:20,951 Hey. What's up? 705 00:30:21,719 --> 00:30:22,920 What's up? I'm rooster. 706 00:30:22,922 --> 00:30:24,755 Oh, yeah, no. 707 00:30:24,757 --> 00:30:26,089 We've met before. 708 00:30:26,091 --> 00:30:27,524 Oh, really? I don't remember that at all. 709 00:30:27,526 --> 00:30:29,459 You must just have a really plain face. 710 00:30:29,461 --> 00:30:31,261 Yeah. They call me ol' plain face. 711 00:30:31,963 --> 00:30:33,564 They call you that? 712 00:30:33,566 --> 00:30:36,600 So, do you have any body art or, like, any ink I could see? 713 00:30:36,602 --> 00:30:38,602 That's a pretty random question. 714 00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:41,071 Hey, anyway, it was so nice chatting with you, man. 715 00:30:41,073 --> 00:30:42,406 Nice to meet you, man. 716 00:30:42,408 --> 00:30:43,440 Yo, what the fuck, bro? 717 00:30:43,442 --> 00:30:44,641 Yo, what the fuck are you doing, dude? 718 00:30:44,643 --> 00:30:45,676 You serious right now? You... 719 00:30:45,678 --> 00:30:47,044 You're being weird. 720 00:30:48,379 --> 00:30:49,246 You've been weird. 721 00:30:51,082 --> 00:30:53,684 It was just like, "what am I hearing? 722 00:30:53,686 --> 00:30:54,918 "What am I hearing right now?" 723 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:55,919 And the psychic told you that? 724 00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:57,521 Yo. That is so crazy, dude. 725 00:30:57,523 --> 00:30:59,189 Hey, dude, you want to go see the roof? 726 00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:00,557 Fuck yeah, I want to see the roof, dude. 727 00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:02,226 Come on, let's go, let's go. Come on. 728 00:31:02,228 --> 00:31:03,093 Come on to the roof, come on to the roof. Let's go. 729 00:31:08,533 --> 00:31:10,234 Come on, you can do it. Come on, come on, come on! 730 00:31:13,004 --> 00:31:15,472 I miss climbing so much. Come on, let's go. Come on. 731 00:31:15,474 --> 00:31:16,540 All right, uh... 732 00:31:21,679 --> 00:31:23,080 One more time. 733 00:31:23,082 --> 00:31:25,015 I'm just Gonna go home. 734 00:31:25,017 --> 00:31:26,283 I don't know parkour, so... 735 00:31:27,452 --> 00:31:28,285 All right. 736 00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:35,025 Hey, Maya Angelou! 737 00:31:36,962 --> 00:31:39,496 Poetry, okay. I got it. 738 00:31:39,498 --> 00:31:40,564 Make fun of the poetry major. 739 00:31:42,033 --> 00:31:43,533 So, I guess you have no interest 740 00:31:43,535 --> 00:31:45,168 in having a real job in the future. 741 00:31:45,170 --> 00:31:47,371 Absolutely not. No, right? 742 00:31:47,373 --> 00:31:49,773 What about you? 743 00:31:49,775 --> 00:31:52,142 Um, I'm an art major. 744 00:31:52,144 --> 00:31:55,245 Okay. So you definitely cannot talk any shit, 'cause... 745 00:31:55,247 --> 00:31:57,281 No, I can't. I cannot. 746 00:31:57,283 --> 00:31:58,181 ...you're never Gonna make any money. 747 00:31:58,183 --> 00:32:00,183 I'm never Gonna make any money, 748 00:32:00,185 --> 00:32:02,119 so don't tell my parents, but... 749 00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:03,320 When I talk to your parents tonight, 750 00:32:03,322 --> 00:32:05,155 I will not tell them about your major. 751 00:32:05,157 --> 00:32:06,757 Okay, thank you. You're welcome. 752 00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:08,191 All right, art major. 753 00:32:09,027 --> 00:32:10,961 What do you think about that? 754 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:15,666 Um, I would say that 755 00:32:17,101 --> 00:32:20,070 it's these two beings 756 00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:22,940 leaning up against each other in perfect balance. 757 00:32:22,942 --> 00:32:25,609 If one were to fall, they would just lose each other. 758 00:32:26,577 --> 00:32:28,679 So it's just about support. 759 00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:33,483 You can't admit that it looks exactly like testicles? 760 00:32:35,253 --> 00:32:37,120 That's exactly what it looks like. 761 00:32:40,224 --> 00:32:42,893 So, is there someone who supports you? 762 00:32:42,895 --> 00:32:44,394 No, I'm just one of those people 763 00:32:44,396 --> 00:32:46,563 that really likes to spend time with myself. 764 00:32:47,665 --> 00:32:50,033 Tell me about it. 765 00:32:50,035 --> 00:32:53,370 I love to be alone. I am, like, the best at it. 766 00:32:53,372 --> 00:32:56,373 I just love when you're sitting there in a room, 767 00:32:56,375 --> 00:32:57,975 and you're just there with your thoughts, 768 00:32:57,977 --> 00:33:00,043 and you're like, "oh, my gosh, I'm alone. 769 00:33:00,045 --> 00:33:01,845 "Would anyone ever love me?" Or whatever. 770 00:33:01,847 --> 00:33:04,614 And, like, "do I know anyone who would care 771 00:33:04,616 --> 00:33:06,717 "if I just ever came out of this room or not?" 772 00:33:06,719 --> 00:33:08,352 Or whatever and, like... 773 00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:09,519 I don't know. It's just peaceful. I just like it. 774 00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:11,154 Yeah. 775 00:33:11,156 --> 00:33:13,090 Well, if you don't want to be alone tonight, 776 00:33:13,092 --> 00:33:14,358 we are Gonna go hang out at the art building, 777 00:33:14,959 --> 00:33:16,526 if you want to come. 778 00:33:17,095 --> 00:33:18,562 Okay, okay. 779 00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:21,631 Okay. Okay. 780 00:33:28,106 --> 00:33:30,107 I expected tonight would go in a way that you wouldn't expect, 781 00:33:30,109 --> 00:33:31,508 but what I didn't expect was tonight would go 782 00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:33,443 in the exact way that you would expect. 783 00:33:33,445 --> 00:33:36,413 You know what I mean? Totally. 784 00:33:36,415 --> 00:33:38,248 So you guys hang out here a lot? 785 00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:40,717 Yeah. I mean, we're not into the whole frat party kind of stuff. 786 00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:42,452 We like to sit around, just drink some good wine 787 00:33:42,454 --> 00:33:44,454 and talk about some important stuff. 788 00:33:44,456 --> 00:33:48,558 Banging bitches and getting wasted all fucking day. 789 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,660 Those are, like, two of my favorite things to do. 790 00:33:50,662 --> 00:33:53,296 You are, like, a slightly less attractive version of... 791 00:33:53,298 --> 00:33:54,464 Picasso? Picasso. 792 00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:55,532 Right? I've been told that before. 793 00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:56,333 You read my mind. 794 00:33:58,069 --> 00:33:59,102 What? 795 00:34:18,323 --> 00:34:20,257 Oh, that's Cynthia Watson's room. 796 00:34:20,992 --> 00:34:22,526 Oh. 797 00:34:22,528 --> 00:34:26,063 It's only 2:00. I thought it was late. Do you want to come in? 798 00:34:26,065 --> 00:34:29,332 It's only 2:00? I usually go to dinner at, like, 2:00 A.M., so... 799 00:34:29,334 --> 00:34:30,834 Sure, yeah, why not? 800 00:34:34,205 --> 00:34:35,839 I'm Gonna do it. I just got to get it at the right angle. 801 00:34:38,377 --> 00:34:40,277 - Dude, stop. - Stupid fucking goalpost! 802 00:34:40,279 --> 00:34:42,712 It's impossible. You can't fucking do it. 803 00:34:42,714 --> 00:34:44,848 The fans used to rush the field 804 00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:46,483 after every win and tear down the goalposts, 805 00:34:46,485 --> 00:34:49,052 and coach hated it. And so he cemented them in. 806 00:34:49,054 --> 00:34:50,454 They storm the field, and still do it, 807 00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,222 but they just bounce around. 808 00:34:52,224 --> 00:34:53,557 Fuck this goalpost, bro! 809 00:34:53,559 --> 00:34:54,858 You guys might want to hold on, 810 00:34:54,860 --> 00:34:57,427 'cause this shit is coming down. 811 00:35:01,532 --> 00:35:04,534 Yo, what is that? The tattoo, what's that right there? 812 00:35:04,536 --> 00:35:06,069 Oh. Oh, this? Mmm-hmm. 813 00:35:06,071 --> 00:35:09,706 It's my old high school team. The Plainview red herrings. 814 00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:10,474 Look at it swim. 815 00:35:12,343 --> 00:35:14,678 Shit. What? 816 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,580 Shit, that's a really outside-of-the-box 817 00:35:17,715 --> 00:35:18,515 high school mascot. 818 00:35:18,916 --> 00:35:20,383 Hold on, guys. 819 00:35:23,454 --> 00:35:25,755 Hey, why don't you come to practice today? 820 00:35:25,757 --> 00:35:27,624 I mean, you're obviously good enough to play on the team. 821 00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:30,760 Look, I'm not supposed to be here to play football. 822 00:35:30,762 --> 00:35:32,462 What? 823 00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:34,464 I'm just here to do my assignments 824 00:35:34,466 --> 00:35:36,366 and get out, that's it. 825 00:35:36,368 --> 00:35:38,768 I mean, yeah, school's important or whatever, 826 00:35:38,770 --> 00:35:41,705 but when I was throwing you those passes, 827 00:35:41,707 --> 00:35:43,874 it was like I knew where you were Gonna be before you went there. 828 00:35:45,209 --> 00:35:47,344 You know, I had this, like, vision of me 829 00:35:47,346 --> 00:35:50,547 throwing bullet to you, dude, 830 00:35:50,549 --> 00:35:52,916 and then all these fans just started going, like... 831 00:35:54,319 --> 00:35:56,319 "Zook! Mcquaid! Zook! Mcquaid!" 832 00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:58,355 And they were chanting and chanting, 833 00:35:58,357 --> 00:36:00,290 and then the goalposts came down. 834 00:36:00,791 --> 00:36:02,893 Dude? 835 00:36:02,895 --> 00:36:05,829 I have had that exact vision, like, my entire life. 836 00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:09,099 Dude. Dude. 837 00:36:09,101 --> 00:36:10,800 Bro? Bro. 838 00:36:10,802 --> 00:36:12,369 Dude. Bro. 839 00:36:12,371 --> 00:36:13,370 Dude. 840 00:36:14,705 --> 00:36:16,506 Like, well, we fucking can, bro. 841 00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:17,541 All you gotta do is join the team. 842 00:36:21,412 --> 00:36:22,846 Yeah. Why not? 843 00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:24,281 Yes! 844 00:36:24,283 --> 00:36:26,449 Fuck yeah, dude. Fuck yeah, dude. 845 00:36:27,318 --> 00:36:28,485 What's that? 846 00:36:28,487 --> 00:36:29,452 My tattoo. 847 00:36:29,454 --> 00:36:31,254 Yeah, fuck, look. 848 00:36:31,256 --> 00:36:34,391 Look, it's me, Zook. 849 00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:37,294 Got a fucking bazooka for an arm. Know what I mean? 850 00:36:41,999 --> 00:36:43,466 Dude, I'm so fucking pumped 851 00:36:43,468 --> 00:36:44,868 you're Gonna be on this fucking team, bro. 852 00:36:45,904 --> 00:36:46,870 Yep. 853 00:36:52,376 --> 00:36:53,677 What's up with it? 854 00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:55,845 How you doing? 855 00:36:55,847 --> 00:36:57,214 Hi. Good. 856 00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,449 How was the, um... 857 00:37:01,386 --> 00:37:02,719 How was the sex for you? 858 00:37:02,721 --> 00:37:04,955 It was fun for me. It was a good time. 859 00:37:06,190 --> 00:37:07,290 Yeah, right. 860 00:37:07,292 --> 00:37:08,225 I enjoyed it. 861 00:37:08,227 --> 00:37:09,426 Yeah. 862 00:37:10,595 --> 00:37:11,695 This is why I don't drink. 863 00:37:12,463 --> 00:37:13,496 Oh. 864 00:37:13,498 --> 00:37:15,298 Hey. How you doing? 865 00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:17,334 I'm fine. 866 00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:19,803 I mean, I'm not listening to you guys fornicate all night long. 867 00:37:19,805 --> 00:37:20,904 Thrusting and pumping. 868 00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:22,606 Okay. 869 00:37:22,608 --> 00:37:24,841 I thought your hip popped out at one point. 870 00:37:24,843 --> 00:37:26,676 I'm just saying, it's, like, all fun and games, 871 00:37:26,678 --> 00:37:28,878 and then you wake up in bed next to a 40-year-old freshman. 872 00:37:29,413 --> 00:37:31,414 I'm 19, so... 873 00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:34,050 Nineteen minutes late to pinochle, 874 00:37:34,052 --> 00:37:35,652 where you're meeting your old friends in the park? 875 00:37:35,654 --> 00:37:37,420 Yeah, that's what I meant. 876 00:37:37,422 --> 00:37:38,955 Oh, my gosh, Maya, look at him. 877 00:37:38,957 --> 00:37:41,324 He's still so sharp. That's so inspiring. 878 00:37:41,326 --> 00:37:44,060 Tell us about the war, any one of them. 879 00:37:44,062 --> 00:37:46,496 You're, like, the loudest climaxer I've ever heard. 880 00:37:46,498 --> 00:37:49,666 It was, like, the sound of, like, a 30-year-old sprinkler 881 00:37:49,668 --> 00:37:52,068 finally going off for the first time. 882 00:37:52,070 --> 00:37:56,439 Okay, well, so lovely talking with you. 883 00:37:56,441 --> 00:37:57,907 You're a lovely person. Hmm. 884 00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:00,810 Nice to meet you. 885 00:38:00,812 --> 00:38:02,812 Oh, my God. 886 00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:04,514 She seems nice. 887 00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:05,949 She's horrible. 888 00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:08,318 God. 889 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,020 She was Cynthia's roommate, 890 00:38:10,022 --> 00:38:11,454 and I felt bad for her, so I told her I would room with her. 891 00:38:12,056 --> 00:38:13,023 So... 892 00:38:15,493 --> 00:38:17,394 So you probably have a bunch of stuff 893 00:38:17,396 --> 00:38:18,361 that you have to do today. 894 00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:20,297 Right? No. 895 00:38:20,299 --> 00:38:22,532 Oh. Okay. 896 00:38:22,534 --> 00:38:23,933 Look, I just want you to know 897 00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:27,470 I'm not, like, a "hit it and quit it" type of fella. 898 00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:29,105 I'm, like, a "hit it, 899 00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:33,176 "continue to hit it both physically and emotionally" kind of guy, so... 900 00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:34,711 Hey, Doug, you're not Gonna be weird about this, are you? 901 00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,447 No. 902 00:38:37,449 --> 00:38:38,815 I mean, you're cool with just hooking up? 903 00:38:38,817 --> 00:38:41,818 Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, I'm glad you said something. 904 00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:43,253 'Cause I don't even know if I like you when I'm sober. 905 00:38:43,255 --> 00:38:44,521 No, I know, and it's like, 906 00:38:44,523 --> 00:38:46,256 that doesn't even hurt, like, at all. 907 00:38:46,258 --> 00:38:48,992 Okay, so, um... 908 00:38:48,994 --> 00:38:51,494 I'm Gonna... I'm Gonna split. I'll text you later. 909 00:38:52,630 --> 00:38:55,999 Great, that was great sex. You're good at it. 910 00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,400 And I'll text you, three to five minutes or something? 911 00:38:57,402 --> 00:38:58,335 All right. 912 00:38:58,337 --> 00:38:59,736 ¶ ¶ 913 00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:19,723 what the fuck is this? 914 00:39:21,092 --> 00:39:23,226 This is bullshit. 915 00:39:23,228 --> 00:39:25,362 Are you two fucking around at school again? 916 00:39:25,364 --> 00:39:26,830 Hey, we got to pay for this shit. 917 00:39:26,832 --> 00:39:28,631 We need results! No, no, no. 918 00:39:28,633 --> 00:39:31,234 Look, we are looking aggressively 919 00:39:31,236 --> 00:39:33,103 for this very specific tattoo. 920 00:39:33,105 --> 00:39:34,704 Or the tattoo could just be a dead end. 921 00:39:35,573 --> 00:39:37,774 What the fuck? It's the same case! 922 00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:40,510 Do the same thing. 923 00:39:40,512 --> 00:39:42,979 Well, it's not exactly the same case, 'cause 924 00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:45,382 one of us got laid last night. 925 00:39:46,016 --> 00:39:47,016 Schmidt? 926 00:39:47,018 --> 00:39:48,284 Shh. 927 00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:50,186 Don't wake up my dick. 928 00:39:50,188 --> 00:39:51,988 Flew in on the red-eye, hasn't gotten a wink of sleep. 929 00:39:51,990 --> 00:39:53,289 Damn. 930 00:39:53,291 --> 00:39:54,791 We're talking missionary. 931 00:39:54,793 --> 00:39:57,327 We're talking missionary. 932 00:39:57,329 --> 00:40:00,397 We're talking when I'm on top and she's on her back. 933 00:40:02,133 --> 00:40:04,200 She's smart, she's an art major. 934 00:40:04,202 --> 00:40:06,836 She can't be that smart. She's a fucking art major. 935 00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:08,304 Come on. 936 00:40:08,306 --> 00:40:09,839 I will give you some daps, Schmidt. 937 00:40:09,841 --> 00:40:10,840 Give me some motherfucking daps, man! 938 00:40:10,842 --> 00:40:12,075 Come on, give me some. 939 00:40:12,077 --> 00:40:13,910 Give me some. Come on! 940 00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:16,813 My human sexuality class is blowing my mind. 941 00:40:16,815 --> 00:40:18,581 Did you know I used gay slurs in high school? 942 00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:20,683 Yes, directed at me. 943 00:40:20,685 --> 00:40:24,020 Dude, I am so sorry for being a homophone. 944 00:40:24,022 --> 00:40:26,356 Are we Gonna talk about how weird you were today with dickson? 945 00:40:26,358 --> 00:40:29,192 Look, I don't think the tattoo means what you think it means. 946 00:40:29,194 --> 00:40:31,428 I mean, for all we know, a lot of people could have that tattoo. 947 00:40:31,430 --> 00:40:34,931 This tattoo? This absurdly specific tattoo? 948 00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:36,065 Name one other person who has this. 949 00:40:37,401 --> 00:40:39,602 For starters, Zook has it. 950 00:40:39,604 --> 00:40:41,037 Zook has the tattoo? 951 00:40:41,039 --> 00:40:46,242 What the fuck? We've been looking for this tattoo for days! 952 00:40:46,244 --> 00:40:47,977 Do you understand this means Zook is the dealer? 953 00:40:47,979 --> 00:40:49,646 I really want you guys to hang out. 954 00:40:49,648 --> 00:40:52,782 We have hung out. He's completely ignored me. 955 00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:55,585 I'm sorry, but we're Gonna have to investigate your new bff. 956 00:40:55,587 --> 00:40:57,153 We're Gonna put cameras everywhere, 957 00:40:57,155 --> 00:40:58,888 and we're Gonna monitor the fuck out of what he's doing. 958 00:40:58,890 --> 00:41:00,223 We can't just walk into zeta house 959 00:41:00,225 --> 00:41:02,525 and just put up a bunch of fucking cameras, okay? 960 00:41:02,527 --> 00:41:04,260 There's dudes there everywhere. 961 00:41:04,262 --> 00:41:06,029 All right, your plan is stupid. I'm sorry. 962 00:41:06,031 --> 00:41:08,498 My plan is stupid? That's interesting. What... okay. 963 00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:09,833 I'm, like, basically done 964 00:41:09,835 --> 00:41:11,434 fucking watching your shit all the fucking time. 965 00:41:11,436 --> 00:41:12,702 Okay, yeah, exactly. I'm the fucking stupid one. Yeah. 966 00:41:12,704 --> 00:41:14,037 Oh, that's really fucking stupid. 967 00:41:14,039 --> 00:41:16,206 Man, it must be hard being so different. 968 00:41:16,208 --> 00:41:19,442 We're exactly the same. It makes everything so much easier. 969 00:41:19,444 --> 00:41:21,945 Guys, can you just give us some space? 970 00:41:21,947 --> 00:41:23,046 We're really trying to figure something out, 971 00:41:23,048 --> 00:41:24,280 and we need to focus, okay? 972 00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:26,316 You're not Gonna have trouble focusing, man. 973 00:41:26,318 --> 00:41:29,452 Yeah, man, those krispie treats got mad whyphy in them. 974 00:41:29,454 --> 00:41:31,821 We made a batch for the whole dorm, man. 975 00:41:33,524 --> 00:41:36,659 I've eaten six of these. 976 00:41:36,661 --> 00:41:38,695 Then you're Gonna be real focused. Be real focused. 977 00:41:38,697 --> 00:41:40,096 In about four hours, you're Gonna be tripping. 978 00:41:41,799 --> 00:41:43,166 You're fine. You're Gonna be all right, man. 979 00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:44,567 Who sold you whyphy? 980 00:41:44,569 --> 00:41:46,069 Nobody sold it to us. 981 00:41:46,071 --> 00:41:47,937 Yeah, man, Cynthia gave us a butt load, 982 00:41:47,939 --> 00:41:50,306 and in exchange, we wrote her logic paper for her. 983 00:41:50,308 --> 00:41:51,508 All right. All right, man, we'll see you guys later. 984 00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:53,076 Enjoy the food. 985 00:41:53,078 --> 00:41:54,677 Maybe this is a good thing. 986 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:59,148 let's use that focus to figure out a way to get into Zook's house. 987 00:41:59,150 --> 00:42:01,150 You feel anything? No. Do you feel anything? 988 00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:02,852 No, but I have a super high tolerance for... 989 00:42:08,292 --> 00:42:09,759 I'm so focused. 990 00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:10,860 I'm so focused, too. 991 00:42:14,732 --> 00:42:15,431 You don't have to be on top of me. 992 00:42:15,433 --> 00:42:16,733 Yes, I do. 993 00:42:16,735 --> 00:42:18,167 Why? Camouflage. 994 00:42:18,169 --> 00:42:19,302 Go. 995 00:42:24,409 --> 00:42:25,675 Let's go. 996 00:42:27,278 --> 00:42:28,678 No fucking way. 997 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,014 Okay, so no? Dane? All right. 998 00:42:32,049 --> 00:42:32,882 Out, all right. 999 00:42:39,757 --> 00:42:40,757 Bull's-eye. Bingo. 1000 00:42:44,828 --> 00:42:46,563 That helmet looks kind of lame. 1001 00:42:46,565 --> 00:42:48,431 You know what's not lame? 1002 00:42:48,433 --> 00:42:49,265 Safety. 1003 00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:13,656 What are you doing? 1004 00:43:14,224 --> 00:43:15,658 I'm cutting glass. 1005 00:43:15,660 --> 00:43:17,026 It's a laser pointer. 1006 00:43:17,028 --> 00:43:18,695 It can't cut glass. What? 1007 00:43:22,399 --> 00:43:24,801 That's no fun at all. 1008 00:43:24,803 --> 00:43:26,269 I'm so focused. Let's do this. 1009 00:43:26,271 --> 00:43:27,236 I'm so focused. Let's do this. 1010 00:43:39,550 --> 00:43:40,850 Give me another. I don't have any more cameras. 1011 00:43:46,957 --> 00:43:48,191 You don't need to drill so many holes. Yeah, okay. 1012 00:43:55,833 --> 00:43:57,934 Yeah, that one's perfect. Okay, you can do that one. 1013 00:43:57,936 --> 00:43:58,968 I don't have any more cameras. I've said it five times. 1014 00:44:02,206 --> 00:44:04,374 All right. Okay. That's the last of 'em. 1015 00:44:05,677 --> 00:44:06,976 Time to prove that Zook's the dealer. 1016 00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:08,077 Or not the dealer. 1017 00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:10,913 Next up is Brad Mcquaid. 1018 00:44:10,915 --> 00:44:12,515 Right? Yes. 1019 00:44:12,517 --> 00:44:13,950 Yes! 1020 00:44:13,952 --> 00:44:15,952 Obviously, right? I mean, the guy's... 1021 00:44:15,954 --> 00:44:18,087 The guy's all-time. You guys, let's be honest. 1022 00:44:18,089 --> 00:44:20,590 I mean, like, he was opening up beer cans with his eyeballs. 1023 00:44:20,592 --> 00:44:21,624 That's so sweet of them. 1024 00:44:21,626 --> 00:44:23,493 So Brad... Brad's in. 1025 00:44:23,495 --> 00:44:24,694 Uh, Doug Mcquaid. No! 1026 00:44:25,396 --> 00:44:26,863 He's a bag of dicks! 1027 00:44:29,566 --> 00:44:31,034 He's Brad's brother. 1028 00:44:31,036 --> 00:44:33,069 He follows him around everywhere, 1029 00:44:33,071 --> 00:44:35,571 so I doubt we get Brad without Doug. 1030 00:44:35,573 --> 00:44:37,273 That's not true. I have a serious girlfriend. 1031 00:44:37,275 --> 00:44:39,108 I got a bad feeling about this guy, dude. Why? Why? 1032 00:44:39,110 --> 00:44:41,010 I was talking to him for a second. 1033 00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:42,712 He's got a big mouth, okay? 1034 00:44:42,714 --> 00:44:44,881 I feel like he could fuck this whole thing up for us. 1035 00:44:44,883 --> 00:44:47,350 See, you're fucking this up. You talk way too much. 1036 00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:49,686 That guy is harmless, dude. Look at him, he's nice. 1037 00:44:49,688 --> 00:44:51,921 He looks like a 30-year-old eighth grader. 1038 00:44:51,923 --> 00:44:53,122 He's Gonna be fine. 1039 00:44:53,124 --> 00:44:55,291 I'm just saying, the kid sucks. 1040 00:44:55,293 --> 00:44:58,261 Okay, and Brad. Brad could be, like, our guy. 1041 00:44:58,263 --> 00:45:01,064 He could, like, be a part of our thing. 1042 00:45:01,066 --> 00:45:02,799 "Our thing"? Yeah. 1043 00:45:02,801 --> 00:45:04,500 Shh. I'm trying to hear them be nice about me. 1044 00:45:04,502 --> 00:45:05,902 This is fucking bullshit. Shit! 1045 00:45:08,305 --> 00:45:09,706 Shit. 1046 00:45:09,708 --> 00:45:11,207 Is somebody up there? 1047 00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:12,642 Shit. We got to get out of here. 1048 00:45:12,644 --> 00:45:13,810 Did you lock the door? 1049 00:45:13,812 --> 00:45:14,944 I did, man. I checked twice. 1050 00:45:32,329 --> 00:45:33,262 Go, go! 1051 00:45:33,897 --> 00:45:35,298 I'm so focused, dude. 1052 00:45:38,535 --> 00:45:39,769 Shit. 1053 00:45:44,042 --> 00:45:47,710 No, you're just paranoid because we're about to trip balls. 1054 00:45:47,712 --> 00:45:49,078 No, I'm paranoid because it could be dangerous. 1055 00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,012 No, we're fine. Look, we made it. 1056 00:45:50,014 --> 00:45:50,980 We made it. It's all good. 1057 00:45:52,349 --> 00:45:53,616 Oh, shit! 1058 00:45:56,754 --> 00:45:57,920 Help! Help! 1059 00:45:57,922 --> 00:45:59,055 What's happening! 1060 00:45:59,057 --> 00:46:00,189 What the fuck? 1061 00:46:03,827 --> 00:46:06,429 I can't breathe. 1062 00:46:07,564 --> 00:46:09,499 They made us! 1063 00:46:09,501 --> 00:46:11,167 They're Gonna kill us! 1064 00:46:13,270 --> 00:46:14,837 Jenko! 1065 00:46:14,839 --> 00:46:16,372 Where are you going? 1066 00:46:21,178 --> 00:46:24,080 Oh, fuck! I'm having a bad trip! We're having a bad trip! 1067 00:46:24,082 --> 00:46:26,015 I think we are tripping, but... 1068 00:46:26,017 --> 00:46:27,483 God, isn't this great? 1069 00:46:27,485 --> 00:46:29,385 My side's so much scarier than yours. 1070 00:46:29,387 --> 00:46:31,554 Oh, shit, your trip sucks. 1071 00:46:31,556 --> 00:46:33,189 You should come over here. It's way better. 1072 00:46:33,191 --> 00:46:34,290 Okay. 1073 00:46:37,629 --> 00:46:39,462 It's some kind of weird split screen! 1074 00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:42,398 Hello, football. 1075 00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,935 Jenko! Jenko! 1076 00:46:45,937 --> 00:46:47,804 I finally got my lambo! 1077 00:46:48,305 --> 00:46:50,506 Hey, Schmidt, look! 1078 00:46:50,508 --> 00:46:51,541 Look! Look! 1079 00:47:02,986 --> 00:47:04,520 My legs are tired. 1080 00:47:08,258 --> 00:47:09,992 Help! No more music! 1081 00:47:10,894 --> 00:47:12,228 You'll always be alone. 1082 00:47:13,698 --> 00:47:14,797 Hey, Jenko. What? 1083 00:47:14,799 --> 00:47:16,365 Where are you going? 1084 00:47:16,367 --> 00:47:17,466 I'm just Gonna go up for a little while, okay? 1085 00:47:17,468 --> 00:47:18,768 Stay, stay here. 1086 00:47:18,770 --> 00:47:20,570 No, I don't want to stay here. I'm flying. This is amazing. 1087 00:47:20,572 --> 00:47:22,305 No. God. Don't go! 1088 00:47:22,307 --> 00:47:23,372 Oh, my God. 1089 00:47:23,374 --> 00:47:24,640 No! 1090 00:47:24,642 --> 00:47:26,609 Stay here! No, no, stop it. 1091 00:47:26,611 --> 00:47:29,245 You're dragging me down! Why would you drag me down? 1092 00:47:29,247 --> 00:47:30,179 Please stay! I'm flying. 1093 00:47:31,281 --> 00:47:32,648 Stay! 1094 00:47:35,786 --> 00:47:37,687 Wake up! Get out of the car! Shit. 1095 00:47:37,689 --> 00:47:39,555 Get out of the car! Get on the ground! 1096 00:47:39,557 --> 00:47:40,756 On your fucking knees! 1097 00:47:40,758 --> 00:47:42,291 Get on your knees! 1098 00:47:42,293 --> 00:47:44,327 You already know, don't you? What? 1099 00:47:44,329 --> 00:47:45,161 Do you have anything to say? 1100 00:47:45,163 --> 00:47:46,796 Please don't kill us. 1101 00:47:46,798 --> 00:47:48,831 If you don't have anything to fucking say, 1102 00:47:48,833 --> 00:47:50,933 open your fucking mouth. 1103 00:47:56,506 --> 00:47:57,740 What the fuck? 1104 00:47:57,742 --> 00:47:59,175 Is that vodka? 1105 00:47:59,177 --> 00:48:01,811 Welcome to zeta, pledges! 1106 00:48:01,813 --> 00:48:03,346 Yeah, buddy! 1107 00:48:05,415 --> 00:48:11,087 Pledges, tonight, we separate the weak from the strong. 1108 00:48:12,856 --> 00:48:15,658 If you don't make it through tonight, 1109 00:48:15,660 --> 00:48:17,393 you're dead to all of us. 1110 00:48:18,195 --> 00:48:19,228 Rooster, 1111 00:48:19,796 --> 00:48:21,297 light the torch! 1112 00:48:22,466 --> 00:48:23,633 For zeta! 1113 00:48:29,006 --> 00:48:31,607 Drink, motherfucker! Drink, motherfucker! 1114 00:48:31,609 --> 00:48:33,643 Drink, motherfucker! Drink, motherfucker! 1115 00:48:39,783 --> 00:48:41,817 Look, whatever happens tonight, you have to keep up, okay? 1116 00:48:41,819 --> 00:48:43,219 I'm Gonna throw up. 1117 00:48:43,221 --> 00:48:44,487 I know. Shut up. Go. 1118 00:48:45,389 --> 00:48:46,923 Ready? Go! 1119 00:48:46,925 --> 00:48:49,125 Here we go, here we go. 1120 00:48:49,127 --> 00:48:51,427 One, two, three, four, five... 1121 00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:53,829 I can't do it anymore! I can't do it anymore! 1122 00:48:53,831 --> 00:48:55,031 Twenty's the record! 1123 00:48:55,033 --> 00:48:57,099 Thirty-three, 34... 1124 00:48:57,668 --> 00:48:58,868 ...67... 1125 00:49:36,073 --> 00:49:37,206 You can do this, you can do this. 1126 00:49:37,208 --> 00:49:38,307 I can't. This is disgusting. 1127 00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:39,475 No, you got to. I can't do this anymore! 1128 00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:41,544 And now, for my favorite event. 1129 00:49:43,013 --> 00:49:44,046 Fuck this. I'm not doing this. 1130 00:49:44,048 --> 00:49:45,181 I'm not doing it. What are... no! 1131 00:49:45,183 --> 00:49:47,216 I'm not doing this, okay? All right? 1132 00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:53,289 Hey! 1133 00:49:53,291 --> 00:49:55,091 Schmidt! What the fuck, man? 1134 00:49:55,093 --> 00:49:57,493 What is your problem? You said you wanted to stick together. 1135 00:49:57,495 --> 00:50:00,262 This is what we have to do to win their trust. 1136 00:50:00,264 --> 00:50:02,765 This is supposed to be fun. It's just drinking and bonding games. 1137 00:50:02,767 --> 00:50:04,367 It's fun. 1138 00:50:04,369 --> 00:50:05,534 It's fun for you. It's not fun for me. 1139 00:50:07,137 --> 00:50:09,338 I don't know. Maybe we should just... 1140 00:50:11,141 --> 00:50:14,010 Maybe we should just investigate different people. 1141 00:50:15,779 --> 00:50:18,447 Did you really just say that? 1142 00:50:18,449 --> 00:50:20,383 Did you really just say that you want to investigate other people? 1143 00:50:20,385 --> 00:50:21,751 That's what you want? 1144 00:50:21,753 --> 00:50:23,652 I don't know, maybe. 1145 00:50:23,654 --> 00:50:26,355 Maybe we should just... We should just branch out. 1146 00:50:26,357 --> 00:50:28,224 Okay, just sow our oats a little. 1147 00:50:28,859 --> 00:50:30,393 Sow our cop oats. 1148 00:50:30,395 --> 00:50:32,061 Look, I have an in with Zook. 1149 00:50:32,063 --> 00:50:33,996 We have a thing and it's good, and... 1150 00:50:33,998 --> 00:50:36,399 I don't know, maybe I should just stay closer to him. 1151 00:50:36,401 --> 00:50:38,300 And you should do your thing 1152 00:50:38,302 --> 00:50:40,603 with your connections and channels 1153 00:50:41,405 --> 00:50:42,938 with Cynthia's roommate. 1154 00:50:42,940 --> 00:50:45,074 You should see if she knows who sold her drugs. 1155 00:50:45,776 --> 00:50:47,510 I just... I just don't... 1156 00:50:49,079 --> 00:50:52,448 I don't like the idea of us doing stuff separately. 1157 00:50:52,450 --> 00:50:54,517 No, look, we can still investigate 1158 00:50:55,118 --> 00:50:57,219 together. 1159 00:50:57,221 --> 00:51:00,656 It's just, you know, now it'll be an open thing. 1160 00:51:02,159 --> 00:51:03,893 You want an open investigation? 1161 00:51:03,895 --> 00:51:06,328 I don't know if that's what I want. 1162 00:51:06,330 --> 00:51:09,498 All right? I just think it's healthy right now for us to try it. 1163 00:51:12,169 --> 00:51:13,269 Okay. 1164 00:51:14,104 --> 00:51:17,039 Yeah? Sure. 1165 00:51:17,041 --> 00:51:18,808 Okay, so I guess I'll just catch you later, then. 1166 00:51:23,447 --> 00:51:25,481 You okay? 1167 00:51:25,483 --> 00:51:27,450 No, you can't hug me right now. 1168 00:51:27,452 --> 00:51:29,051 Do you need money for a cab or anything? 1169 00:51:29,053 --> 00:51:31,587 No, I don't need money for a cab. 1170 00:51:32,589 --> 00:51:33,589 Okay. 1171 00:51:42,699 --> 00:51:45,201 I don't know where the fuck I am right now. 1172 00:51:50,140 --> 00:51:51,507 Hey, Lauren. 1173 00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:56,846 I just want to get in bed and watch friends all day. 1174 00:51:56,848 --> 00:52:00,850 Let's hear it for your metropolitan city state statesmen! 1175 00:52:02,353 --> 00:52:04,253 And the statesmen take the field 1176 00:52:04,255 --> 00:52:07,323 for the opening game against the university of college generals. 1177 00:52:07,824 --> 00:52:09,058 Ready? 1178 00:52:09,060 --> 00:52:10,493 And a surprise start today 1179 00:52:10,495 --> 00:52:12,761 for walk-on freshman Brad Mcquaid. 1180 00:52:12,763 --> 00:52:14,163 Looks pretty old to be a freshman. 1181 00:52:14,165 --> 00:52:15,064 It's the hormones in the milk, Bob. 1182 00:52:15,066 --> 00:52:16,565 Ready? Set, hut! 1183 00:52:18,235 --> 00:52:19,635 Haythe drops back. 1184 00:52:21,238 --> 00:52:22,204 And connects with Mcquaid! 1185 00:52:24,509 --> 00:52:27,877 Who beats safety will glock like an egg white in my famous meringue recipe. 1186 00:52:30,847 --> 00:52:32,414 Holy shit, he's good. 1187 00:52:32,416 --> 00:52:35,651 None of you tell Mcquaid that he's good, all right? 1188 00:52:35,653 --> 00:52:38,821 If you do, he'll leave this shitty program. 1189 00:52:38,823 --> 00:52:41,724 And as the clock ticks down, we've got time for one last play. 1190 00:52:45,562 --> 00:52:49,098 Another perfect hookup between Haythe and Mcquaid. 1191 00:52:49,100 --> 00:52:51,367 Even their end zone celebration is in perfect sync. 1192 00:52:51,369 --> 00:52:53,769 It's like these two share a single brain, Bob. 1193 00:52:53,771 --> 00:52:56,305 That's right, Jim. They both have one half a brain. 1194 00:52:56,307 --> 00:52:57,706 And the crowd rushes the field 1195 00:52:57,708 --> 00:52:59,375 to try and knock down a goalpost. 1196 00:52:59,377 --> 00:53:00,509 It's not coming down! 1197 00:53:03,114 --> 00:53:04,446 Good luck, guys. 1198 00:53:04,448 --> 00:53:06,715 Looks like mc state's got a new power couple. 1199 00:53:06,717 --> 00:53:08,184 Zook and mcquaid! 1200 00:53:11,021 --> 00:53:12,454 I got to get around you, man. 1201 00:53:12,456 --> 00:53:14,857 I can't jump up. I got a broken ankle. 1202 00:53:19,930 --> 00:53:20,863 Yeah! 1203 00:53:22,098 --> 00:53:24,466 Fuck yes! 1204 00:53:24,468 --> 00:53:25,968 Yeah! One more! 1205 00:53:28,104 --> 00:53:28,804 Shit. 1206 00:53:31,508 --> 00:53:32,641 Who is that? 1207 00:53:32,643 --> 00:53:33,576 Nothing. All right, ready? 1208 00:53:34,978 --> 00:53:36,245 Come on! 1209 00:53:36,247 --> 00:53:37,479 Focus! 1210 00:53:47,090 --> 00:53:48,724 Come on! Do it! 1211 00:53:48,726 --> 00:53:50,226 Fuck you, Arnold Schwarzenegger! 1212 00:53:50,228 --> 00:53:51,794 I'm so jammed! Fuck you! 1213 00:53:51,796 --> 00:53:53,729 There's a sock on the door! Don't come in! 1214 00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:55,164 Fuck, yeah! 1215 00:53:55,166 --> 00:53:56,665 I'm having sex with a human woman. 1216 00:53:56,667 --> 00:53:58,267 My God! Fuck! 1217 00:54:03,373 --> 00:54:04,807 Hey! Look at you! 1218 00:54:04,809 --> 00:54:05,975 What are you guys doing here? 1219 00:54:05,977 --> 00:54:07,977 What? Are you kidding? It's parents weekend. 1220 00:54:07,979 --> 00:54:09,545 Fuck. 1221 00:54:09,547 --> 00:54:12,014 Wonderful. You're dating someone. 1222 00:54:12,016 --> 00:54:15,050 Thanks, mom. Listen, we're undercover, okay? 1223 00:54:15,052 --> 00:54:15,718 Thank you. No problem. 1224 00:54:16,987 --> 00:54:17,886 Doug! 1225 00:54:18,255 --> 00:54:19,755 Maya! 1226 00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:20,656 Hey. Hi. 1227 00:54:21,391 --> 00:54:22,625 These are my parents. 1228 00:54:22,627 --> 00:54:24,593 So this is the girl? 1229 00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:26,729 Hi. I'm Annie. I'm your new mother-in-law. 1230 00:54:28,498 --> 00:54:30,099 Nice to meet you. Worst thing to say. 1231 00:54:30,101 --> 00:54:31,400 Hi. Hey. David. 1232 00:54:31,402 --> 00:54:32,334 My dad. Nice to meet you. 1233 00:54:33,103 --> 00:54:34,536 Well, my parents are here, too. 1234 00:54:34,538 --> 00:54:36,739 Maya, hurry up! 1235 00:54:36,741 --> 00:54:39,008 Your mama done found a table she want. 1236 00:54:45,982 --> 00:54:47,750 How do you know this person? 1237 00:54:47,752 --> 00:54:50,352 Dad, this is Doug, a guy that I'm dating. 1238 00:54:50,354 --> 00:54:52,588 The fuck? I... 1239 00:54:52,590 --> 00:54:54,723 How's your classes going, Doug? 1240 00:54:54,725 --> 00:54:57,459 You... we were just in the neighborhood, and... 1241 00:54:57,461 --> 00:54:58,560 I have an idea. Why don't we all sit together? 1242 00:54:58,562 --> 00:54:59,895 Would that be fun? 1243 00:54:59,897 --> 00:55:01,063 Yes, thank you. 1244 00:55:15,879 --> 00:55:17,279 So... 1245 00:55:17,281 --> 00:55:18,847 Do you like weather? 1246 00:55:20,417 --> 00:55:22,217 You two know each other? 1247 00:55:22,219 --> 00:55:23,686 No. 1248 00:55:23,688 --> 00:55:25,521 This is crazy, all these, uh, 1249 00:55:26,790 --> 00:55:28,791 students and parents. 1250 00:55:30,093 --> 00:55:31,026 Potential witnesses. 1251 00:55:32,395 --> 00:55:33,595 How did you two meet? 1252 00:55:33,597 --> 00:55:35,698 Oh, I love meet-cute stories. 1253 00:55:35,700 --> 00:55:37,666 We met at a poetry slam, 1254 00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:39,868 and then he stalked me back to my dorm room. 1255 00:55:39,870 --> 00:55:42,004 Stalked her? Oh, that's so beautiful. 1256 00:55:42,006 --> 00:55:43,305 Then what happened? 1257 00:55:43,307 --> 00:55:45,407 And then we hung out and we watched a movie. 1258 00:55:46,376 --> 00:55:49,011 Actually, we watched it a couple times. 1259 00:55:50,547 --> 00:55:52,548 This is bullshit! 1260 00:55:52,550 --> 00:55:54,283 This fucking... waiter! 1261 00:55:54,285 --> 00:55:56,885 What can a black man do to get some water around here? 1262 00:55:56,887 --> 00:55:58,487 Give the fucking guy some water! 1263 00:55:58,489 --> 00:56:00,489 He's black! He's been through a lot! 1264 00:56:00,491 --> 00:56:03,459 For the sake of your daughter, please keep it together. 1265 00:56:03,461 --> 00:56:04,993 I'm Gonna need a motherfucking crepe before I go crazy. 1266 00:56:06,196 --> 00:56:08,530 I'll be right back. 1267 00:56:08,532 --> 00:56:11,633 So, where are you from originally? 1268 00:56:11,635 --> 00:56:12,768 I'm straight outta Compton, 1269 00:56:14,371 --> 00:56:16,338 but my husband's from Northridge. 1270 00:56:16,340 --> 00:56:18,073 Come on, man, hook me up. 1271 00:56:20,310 --> 00:56:22,378 What the fuck y'all doing? Y'all rationing around here? 1272 00:56:22,380 --> 00:56:24,213 Come on, hook me up. Two little fucking string beans? 1273 00:56:24,215 --> 00:56:26,582 Give me the goddamn string beans. 1274 00:56:26,584 --> 00:56:28,450 I want some fucking deviled eggs. 1275 00:56:28,452 --> 00:56:29,818 I like fruit. Don't you like fruit? 1276 00:56:30,353 --> 00:56:31,820 I like fruit. 1277 00:56:31,822 --> 00:56:33,989 But this pork shit? Got to go! 1278 00:56:33,991 --> 00:56:35,424 He's really taking it out on the omelet bar. 1279 00:56:35,426 --> 00:56:36,859 Shit was nasty! 1280 00:56:36,861 --> 00:56:38,594 He's under a lot of pressure at work. 1281 00:56:38,596 --> 00:56:40,429 What's up, playa? Want to go to the movies? 1282 00:56:40,431 --> 00:56:43,332 I'll break your motherfucking legs! Break your legs! 1283 00:56:44,702 --> 00:56:46,335 What? 1284 00:56:46,337 --> 00:56:48,670 How you doing, Mr. nice plant? Get your fucking ass in there. 1285 00:56:56,646 --> 00:56:58,080 Hey, you want another beer? I'm Gonna get another beer. 1286 00:56:58,082 --> 00:56:59,882 Yeah, yeah, I'll do another. 1287 00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:18,133 Hey, look, man, 1288 00:57:18,135 --> 00:57:19,668 you know you can always tell me something 1289 00:57:19,670 --> 00:57:21,036 if you want to get it off your chest. 1290 00:57:21,038 --> 00:57:21,837 You know I'm always here for you, right? 1291 00:57:24,374 --> 00:57:25,374 What are you trying to say? 1292 00:57:25,376 --> 00:57:26,475 No, nothing. 1293 00:57:29,779 --> 00:57:32,347 All right, with everything that happened 1294 00:57:32,349 --> 00:57:33,649 with Cynthia and whyphy, 1295 00:57:35,518 --> 00:57:36,485 I just don't want you to screw up. 1296 00:57:37,654 --> 00:57:40,322 You don't think I know what I'm doing? 1297 00:57:40,324 --> 00:57:42,057 What? I know exactly what I'm doing here. 1298 00:57:44,794 --> 00:57:46,328 I'm Gonna tell you something, all right? 1299 00:57:46,330 --> 00:57:47,796 Can I trust you? Yeah, of course. 1300 00:57:53,203 --> 00:57:56,638 I have a friend who knows a guy at UMC. 1301 00:57:57,407 --> 00:57:59,374 He's a scout. It's d-I. 1302 00:57:59,376 --> 00:58:01,043 Their QB, he's not playing well. 1303 00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:02,044 They're not happy with the situation. 1304 00:58:02,046 --> 00:58:03,412 They want me to make a tape. 1305 00:58:03,414 --> 00:58:05,747 And I want you to be on it with me. 1306 00:58:09,619 --> 00:58:11,687 Nothing else? 1307 00:58:11,689 --> 00:58:13,555 They had five guys in the draft last year. 1308 00:58:13,557 --> 00:58:14,823 I mean, Brad, this could be our shot. 1309 00:58:14,825 --> 00:58:16,859 We're like the dynamic duo, bro. 1310 00:58:16,861 --> 00:58:19,294 We're like Batman and Robin. 1311 00:58:19,296 --> 00:58:21,196 But we're both Batman. 1312 00:58:21,198 --> 00:58:23,365 What do you want to be, like, a stockbroker? 1313 00:58:23,367 --> 00:58:24,900 Or a cop? 1314 00:58:24,902 --> 00:58:26,768 Dude, your ceiling is, like, 1315 00:58:27,704 --> 00:58:29,171 so high. 1316 00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:34,009 You can just bust right... 1317 00:58:34,011 --> 00:58:36,144 Just break right through it. Right through it. 1318 00:58:36,146 --> 00:58:38,914 Right through it. Right through it. 1319 00:58:38,916 --> 00:58:40,883 You really think I could make it at UMC? 1320 00:58:40,885 --> 00:58:44,219 Dude, you could make it into the hall of fame. 1321 00:58:44,221 --> 00:58:46,121 No, dude, come on, that's you. 1322 00:58:46,123 --> 00:58:48,590 You're Gonna be in, like, the anals of football history. 1323 00:58:48,592 --> 00:58:51,159 Dude, you could make it into the anals of football history, too. 1324 00:58:52,195 --> 00:58:55,697 We're Gonna have to tear those anals up. 1325 00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:57,266 All right. We're Gonna fucking tear it up. 1326 00:58:57,268 --> 00:58:58,100 I mean, it's just a tape, right? 1327 00:58:59,435 --> 00:59:00,769 I fucking hate my dad so much. 1328 00:59:00,771 --> 00:59:02,170 Do you have any idea 1329 00:59:02,172 --> 00:59:03,405 what it's like to have a guy like that 1330 00:59:03,407 --> 00:59:05,140 telling you what to do all the time? 1331 00:59:05,142 --> 00:59:06,575 I can only imagine. 1332 00:59:06,577 --> 00:59:09,978 I just don't understand what his problem is with you specifically. 1333 00:59:09,980 --> 00:59:12,814 I don't... Jesus. That makes no sense to me. 1334 00:59:12,816 --> 00:59:13,916 I mean, you are a perfectly good guy. 1335 00:59:13,918 --> 00:59:15,017 You're very honest and nice. 1336 00:59:15,019 --> 00:59:17,619 Why does my dad have your phone number? 1337 00:59:17,621 --> 00:59:20,188 I don't know. Maybe the school directory or something. 1338 00:59:20,190 --> 00:59:21,557 Let's do something... 1339 00:59:21,559 --> 00:59:22,424 Let's do something that would distract us. 1340 00:59:22,426 --> 00:59:24,059 Okay. 1341 00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:26,128 So we don't have to think about him anymore. 1342 00:59:26,130 --> 00:59:27,729 Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm. 1343 00:59:27,731 --> 00:59:28,797 All right. Um... 1344 00:59:29,465 --> 00:59:30,599 Maya. 1345 00:59:32,669 --> 00:59:34,002 Is it okay if we just talk? 1346 00:59:36,205 --> 00:59:37,105 Okay. 1347 00:59:37,473 --> 00:59:39,508 Let's talk. 1348 00:59:39,510 --> 00:59:41,276 No way. Yeah. 1349 00:59:41,278 --> 00:59:43,278 I was Peter Pan, but then I was, like, late. 1350 00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:44,346 You're really close with your brother, then. 1351 00:59:45,515 --> 00:59:47,049 It seems like. Yeah. 1352 00:59:47,850 --> 00:59:49,284 Yeah, you know... 1353 00:59:53,122 --> 00:59:54,823 You're a fucking genius, dude. 1354 00:59:54,825 --> 00:59:55,924 Are you sure it's not too much, though? No! 1355 00:59:57,594 --> 00:59:59,595 Yeah! Fuck, yeah! 1356 00:59:59,597 --> 01:00:01,897 All right? All right? Yeah. Yeah. 1357 01:00:01,899 --> 01:00:03,332 All night, bro. Come on. All night. Yeah, I know. 1358 01:00:03,334 --> 01:00:04,800 It's Gonna be so worth it, dude. 1359 01:00:04,802 --> 01:00:06,268 It's Gonna be fucking worth it, I promise, all right? 1360 01:00:06,270 --> 01:00:07,736 Dude, you know what this needs? 1361 01:00:07,738 --> 01:00:09,504 Another star wipe. 1362 01:00:09,506 --> 01:00:11,540 Jinx. Buy me a beer. 1363 01:00:11,542 --> 01:00:12,641 Nice twist. 1364 01:00:12,643 --> 01:00:13,742 On what? 1365 01:00:15,511 --> 01:00:17,312 I can't believe we've been talking all night. 1366 01:00:17,314 --> 01:00:21,316 Oh, my God, it's 8:00. I have class, actually. 1367 01:00:21,318 --> 01:00:23,418 Okay. I... 1368 01:00:23,420 --> 01:00:26,288 Yeah, you can help yourself to whatever you need, and... 1369 01:00:26,290 --> 01:00:27,623 All right. 1370 01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:29,524 Yeah, I'm so sorry, this... 1371 01:00:29,526 --> 01:00:30,993 I'll see you. 1372 01:00:30,995 --> 01:00:32,027 I'll see you later. 1373 01:00:32,029 --> 01:00:33,762 Okay. Best night ever. 1374 01:00:33,764 --> 01:00:35,197 Okay. Bye. 1375 01:00:37,333 --> 01:00:38,367 Bye. 1376 01:00:42,839 --> 01:00:44,806 How long have you been there? 1377 01:00:44,808 --> 01:00:47,275 Like, the longest amount of time you could think of right now. 1378 01:00:47,277 --> 01:00:48,677 This stuff wasn't meant for you. 1379 01:00:48,679 --> 01:00:50,245 It was meant to be private. 1380 01:00:50,247 --> 01:00:52,781 So, am I supposed to just sit here and not act like 1381 01:00:52,783 --> 01:00:55,017 I hear every one of your problems? 1382 01:00:55,019 --> 01:00:58,387 You got 99 problems, but being young isn't one. 1383 01:00:58,389 --> 01:01:01,757 You're just jealous because Maya and I have a real connection. 1384 01:01:01,759 --> 01:01:03,258 I'm pretty close with my grandpa, too. 1385 01:01:04,961 --> 01:01:06,461 You're more messed up than Cynthia was, 1386 01:01:06,463 --> 01:01:08,697 and she went to the school shrink three times a week. 1387 01:01:08,699 --> 01:01:10,866 Why? I don't know. 1388 01:01:10,868 --> 01:01:12,701 But he gave her a ton of pills and shit. 1389 01:01:12,703 --> 01:01:15,103 Maybe he could give you something for your weird old face. 1390 01:01:15,105 --> 01:01:15,937 Okay. 1391 01:01:19,909 --> 01:01:22,444 Hey. You're late. 1392 01:01:22,446 --> 01:01:25,247 No, actually, I was busy with the investigation. 1393 01:01:26,983 --> 01:01:30,185 This is Cynthia's therapist's office. This is our investigation. 1394 01:01:31,721 --> 01:01:32,454 All right. 1395 01:01:40,263 --> 01:01:42,064 Watch the door. 1396 01:01:42,066 --> 01:01:45,300 Oh, is that all I'm good for? Just watching a fucking door? 1397 01:01:47,637 --> 01:01:48,837 Got it. 1398 01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:52,908 "Patient exhibits drug-induced paranoia. 1399 01:01:52,910 --> 01:01:55,343 "Believes her life is in danger." 1400 01:01:55,345 --> 01:01:56,178 Uh, door, door. 1401 01:01:58,414 --> 01:02:00,415 Hey. 1402 01:02:00,417 --> 01:02:02,851 I wasn't told that I had a 9:00 A.M. session. 1403 01:02:02,853 --> 01:02:04,720 Yeah, no, we're your 9:00 A.M. that's us. 1404 01:02:04,722 --> 01:02:07,322 And we're cured. 1405 01:02:07,324 --> 01:02:09,958 Thank you very much. You're an amazing doctor. 1406 01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:11,727 Please. You think you're the first partners 1407 01:02:11,729 --> 01:02:16,565 only to try to run when you're first faced with talking with me? 1408 01:02:16,567 --> 01:02:17,999 How the fuck did you know we were partners? 1409 01:02:18,001 --> 01:02:19,768 He doesn't know we're partners. 1410 01:02:19,770 --> 01:02:21,503 I suspect you're partners. 1411 01:02:21,505 --> 01:02:24,172 A relationship is something that requires constant work. 1412 01:02:24,174 --> 01:02:25,674 Which is what I thought we learned in high school. 1413 01:02:25,676 --> 01:02:27,642 So you are high school sweethearts. 1414 01:02:27,644 --> 01:02:28,844 I picked up on that early. 1415 01:02:28,846 --> 01:02:30,045 Please, continue the dialogue. 1416 01:02:30,513 --> 01:02:31,480 Doc. 1417 01:02:32,982 --> 01:02:34,516 I just feel like sometimes 1418 01:02:34,518 --> 01:02:36,017 he's not even trying anymore. 1419 01:02:36,019 --> 01:02:38,386 Like this isn't even worth saving. 1420 01:02:38,388 --> 01:02:39,721 Oh, okay. Well, sometimes I feel like 1421 01:02:39,723 --> 01:02:41,356 that we should be more like the Yangs. 1422 01:02:41,358 --> 01:02:43,058 Or maybe I should be more like your beautiful Zook. 1423 01:02:43,060 --> 01:02:44,626 Oh, go fuck yourself! You go fuck yourself. 1424 01:02:44,628 --> 01:02:46,628 Okay. You're so selfish. 1425 01:02:46,630 --> 01:02:48,497 All right. That's a lot of fucking. Oh, my God. 1426 01:02:48,499 --> 01:02:52,200 sometimes I like to have the participants make Physical contact. 1427 01:02:52,202 --> 01:02:53,602 Why don't you hold hands? 1428 01:02:53,604 --> 01:02:55,003 Okay. I'm not doing that. 1429 01:02:55,005 --> 01:02:56,872 Hmm? Do you see? 1430 01:02:56,874 --> 01:02:58,039 Reach out your hand. 1431 01:02:58,041 --> 01:02:59,541 I'm... 1432 01:02:59,543 --> 01:03:01,343 He's literally reaching out for you. 1433 01:03:01,345 --> 01:03:02,444 He won't hold my hand. 1434 01:03:02,446 --> 01:03:03,612 I'm not doing it. 1435 01:03:03,614 --> 01:03:05,013 I kind of need you to do it. 1436 01:03:05,015 --> 01:03:06,848 He won't hold my hand. Oh, you... 1437 01:03:06,850 --> 01:03:08,316 You got to interlock it, though. 1438 01:03:08,318 --> 01:03:09,684 If you don't interlock it, it's not hand-holding. 1439 01:03:09,686 --> 01:03:11,253 Fine. 1440 01:03:11,255 --> 01:03:12,420 We might as well just be friends 1441 01:03:12,422 --> 01:03:13,455 and not partners. 1442 01:03:13,457 --> 01:03:14,322 Nice, right? 1443 01:03:15,291 --> 01:03:17,392 Okay, you see this? This is strong. 1444 01:03:17,394 --> 01:03:19,628 What I want to be able to have is this. 1445 01:03:19,630 --> 01:03:22,297 Is this... 1446 01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:26,101 I want to be able to have that, that same thing, in, like 1447 01:03:26,103 --> 01:03:28,270 without actually having to do it. 1448 01:03:28,272 --> 01:03:29,471 Are you embarrassed of your partner? 1449 01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:30,906 No, not at all. Okay? 1450 01:03:30,908 --> 01:03:32,674 And why the fuck are you guys ganging up on me? 1451 01:03:32,676 --> 01:03:33,875 Gang up on him. Okay, seriously. 1452 01:03:33,877 --> 01:03:35,644 Okay, okay. He's clingy. 1453 01:03:35,646 --> 01:03:37,913 He literally is terrified of being by himself. 1454 01:03:37,915 --> 01:03:39,514 Look, I know Zook's your buddy 1455 01:03:39,516 --> 01:03:40,415 and you don't want him to be guilty, 1456 01:03:40,417 --> 01:03:41,883 but he's our guy. 1457 01:03:41,885 --> 01:03:43,819 No, he's actually not our guy. I would know. 1458 01:03:43,821 --> 01:03:46,354 Now, you know, we sometimes cling to things 1459 01:03:46,356 --> 01:03:48,456 because they're familiar and comfortable. 1460 01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:50,192 I teach about a principle called embedding. 1461 01:03:50,194 --> 01:03:51,726 Look at the facts. Matter of fact, I... 1462 01:03:51,728 --> 01:03:54,296 Zook has the tattoo. He knew Cynthia. 1463 01:03:54,298 --> 01:03:55,597 I know the first time he met you, 1464 01:03:55,599 --> 01:03:56,898 you dropped a fucking sandwich on his foot 1465 01:03:56,900 --> 01:03:58,300 and he smiled at you, 1466 01:03:58,302 --> 01:04:01,369 but you are completely blind to the fact... 1467 01:04:01,371 --> 01:04:03,305 What'd you say embedding was? Embedding? 1468 01:04:03,307 --> 01:04:06,775 Oh, embedding is our tendency to latch on to 1469 01:04:06,777 --> 01:04:09,277 the first bit of information that we're offered 1470 01:04:09,279 --> 01:04:11,913 and overlooking, or even ignoring, contradictory information. 1471 01:04:11,915 --> 01:04:12,814 It's a fascinating principle... 1472 01:04:12,816 --> 01:04:14,583 Shut up. I'm thinking. 1473 01:04:15,651 --> 01:04:17,953 You think it's possible that 1474 01:04:17,955 --> 01:04:19,788 we embedded? 1475 01:04:19,790 --> 01:04:21,423 What, like when we were drunk or something? 1476 01:04:21,425 --> 01:04:23,325 We embedded each other? Okay. I'm Gonna recommend... 1477 01:04:23,327 --> 01:04:24,092 Okay, you can leave the room. 1478 01:04:24,094 --> 01:04:25,160 Just get the fuck out. 1479 01:04:26,095 --> 01:04:27,462 Get the fuck out. You heard him. 1480 01:04:27,464 --> 01:04:28,763 This took a turn. 1481 01:04:28,765 --> 01:04:30,265 One, two... 1482 01:04:30,267 --> 01:04:32,033 - Okay. Yep. - Good session. 1483 01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:33,301 The first time we saw the photo 1484 01:04:33,303 --> 01:04:34,669 of Cynthia buying whyphy, 1485 01:04:34,671 --> 01:04:37,339 Dickson said, "this guy's the dealer." 1486 01:04:37,341 --> 01:04:39,407 Everything we've done and thought has been based on that fact, 1487 01:04:39,409 --> 01:04:41,109 but what if Dickson was wrong? 1488 01:04:41,111 --> 01:04:43,545 And we've ignored all the other clues. 1489 01:04:43,547 --> 01:04:44,880 What if Cynthia wasn't the buyer? 1490 01:04:45,781 --> 01:04:47,849 What if Cynthia was the dealer? 1491 01:04:47,851 --> 01:04:51,286 Captain, we have something really, really important to tell you about. 1492 01:04:55,558 --> 01:04:57,058 Captain? 1493 01:04:57,060 --> 01:04:58,793 Are you wearing Kevlar? 1494 01:04:58,795 --> 01:05:03,331 Now, gentlemen, we're not Gonna sit here and pretend 1495 01:05:03,333 --> 01:05:05,834 there's not a big-ass elephant in the room. 1496 01:05:05,836 --> 01:05:06,635 What the fuck is going on? 1497 01:05:08,004 --> 01:05:09,938 This is what the fuck is going on. 1498 01:05:16,112 --> 01:05:18,947 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! 1499 01:05:22,184 --> 01:05:24,185 Oh, shit! No! 1500 01:05:24,187 --> 01:05:27,756 That is not happening right now! No! 1501 01:05:27,758 --> 01:05:31,159 Hey, y'all, he's fucking the captain's daughter! Yo! 1502 01:05:31,161 --> 01:05:32,661 Every time he say that shit... 1503 01:05:32,663 --> 01:05:34,229 Oh, my fuck! 1504 01:05:34,231 --> 01:05:36,231 ...that's another foot in your ass. 1505 01:05:36,233 --> 01:05:39,467 Schmidt, you clearly... Yo, this is the best thing ever! 1506 01:05:41,671 --> 01:05:44,239 Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter! 1507 01:05:44,241 --> 01:05:47,242 Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter! 1508 01:05:47,244 --> 01:05:50,078 Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter! 1509 01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:52,681 Shit! Fuck! 1510 01:05:52,683 --> 01:05:55,283 You fucked captain Dickson's daughter? 1511 01:05:55,952 --> 01:05:57,519 Captain, what the... 1512 01:05:57,521 --> 01:05:59,921 You bragged to him to his face. 1513 01:05:59,923 --> 01:06:01,589 To his actual face. Captain... 1514 01:06:01,591 --> 01:06:05,393 Do you understand that this face right here, you bragged to that face? 1515 01:06:05,395 --> 01:06:08,964 You actually high-fived Schmidt for fucking your daughter. 1516 01:06:08,966 --> 01:06:10,031 Holy shit! 1517 01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:12,067 Oh, my God! This is... 1518 01:06:13,402 --> 01:06:14,970 It's really not that funny. 1519 01:06:16,038 --> 01:06:17,939 I just want to say that 1520 01:06:17,941 --> 01:06:22,344 it was bizarre not to share the fact 1521 01:06:22,346 --> 01:06:24,879 that your daughter went to mc state. 1522 01:06:24,881 --> 01:06:26,247 I think it's bizarre 1523 01:06:26,249 --> 01:06:28,616 that I haven't cut your motherfucking nuts off. 1524 01:06:28,618 --> 01:06:31,953 What if captain gets to punch you in the face one time, 1525 01:06:31,955 --> 01:06:33,688 really, really, really hard? 1526 01:06:33,690 --> 01:06:34,656 Nah. 1527 01:06:36,092 --> 01:06:38,259 I got something way better than that. 1528 01:06:41,764 --> 01:06:44,733 You think Cynthia was the dealer? 1529 01:06:44,735 --> 01:06:47,936 How the fuck we Gonna infiltrate the dealer if the dealer is dead? 1530 01:06:47,938 --> 01:06:49,371 We have to stop treating this 1531 01:06:49,373 --> 01:06:51,773 like it's exactly the same as last time. 1532 01:06:51,775 --> 01:06:54,843 And we got a bigger problem. No more money in the budget. 1533 01:06:54,845 --> 01:06:56,077 What? I thought we had Cate Blanchett. 1534 01:06:56,946 --> 01:06:58,513 Cate Blanchett? 1535 01:06:58,515 --> 01:07:01,016 Yeah, I thought we had Cate Blanchett with the budget. 1536 01:07:01,018 --> 01:07:02,550 You mean "carte blanche." 1537 01:07:03,452 --> 01:07:04,686 That one. 1538 01:07:04,688 --> 01:07:06,488 Welcome back, dum-dum. 1539 01:07:06,490 --> 01:07:09,724 We did have carte blanche. Not no more. 1540 01:07:09,726 --> 01:07:11,893 You got that expensive chase in the beginning, 1541 01:07:11,895 --> 01:07:15,663 that expensive equipment, this fucking office... 1542 01:07:15,665 --> 01:07:18,933 This look like some shit iron man would have. Shit's expensive! 1543 01:07:18,935 --> 01:07:22,904 I got on $800 shoes, and you can't even see the motherfuckers. 1544 01:07:22,906 --> 01:07:25,340 So now you two motherfuckers is in the crosshairs. 1545 01:07:25,342 --> 01:07:26,808 I'm warning you, 1546 01:07:26,810 --> 01:07:28,710 find the supplier, 1547 01:07:28,712 --> 01:07:30,378 but don't cost the department no more money. 1548 01:07:32,481 --> 01:07:36,017 Look, I apologize about the Zook thing. 1549 01:07:36,019 --> 01:07:38,353 You were right, he's not the dealer. 1550 01:07:38,355 --> 01:07:39,821 Okay, great. You apologized. 1551 01:07:39,823 --> 01:07:41,222 What's that worth, man? 1552 01:07:41,224 --> 01:07:44,526 Now we have no leads. What are we supposed to do now? 1553 01:07:44,528 --> 01:07:45,427 Police work. 1554 01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:54,436 Fuck. 1555 01:07:58,208 --> 01:08:00,308 Don't throw a fucking dead person's dildo at me. 1556 01:08:00,310 --> 01:08:02,477 We're at work right now, okay? 1557 01:08:02,479 --> 01:08:04,746 Kids don't check out books anymore, right? 1558 01:08:05,848 --> 01:08:07,582 I don't even think they know how to read. 1559 01:08:10,386 --> 01:08:12,187 Library. Book place. 1560 01:08:12,189 --> 01:08:13,354 Library. 1561 01:08:13,356 --> 01:08:15,423 The supplier is putting drugs 1562 01:08:15,425 --> 01:08:16,524 inside the books in the library, 1563 01:08:16,526 --> 01:08:18,660 where literally no one goes anymore, man. 1564 01:08:18,662 --> 01:08:20,428 And the dealers check out the books. 1565 01:08:20,430 --> 01:08:22,297 We're going to catch the supplier. 1566 01:08:22,299 --> 01:08:23,598 Do you realize how cool... Wait, one sec, one sec. 1567 01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,100 What's up, dude? 1568 01:08:25,102 --> 01:08:27,001 Hey, dude, where are you? 1569 01:08:27,003 --> 01:08:29,237 We're warming up. The game's about to start. 1570 01:08:29,239 --> 01:08:30,839 All right, man. Um, look, I'm just Gonna... 1571 01:08:30,841 --> 01:08:32,107 I'm coming. 1572 01:08:32,109 --> 01:08:33,341 All right, later. 1573 01:08:33,343 --> 01:08:34,943 What are you doing? Don't leave me hanging. 1574 01:08:34,945 --> 01:08:37,645 Dude, I got to go or I'm Gonna blow my cover, okay? 1575 01:08:37,647 --> 01:08:39,114 You can do this alone. I'll be back in two hours. 1576 01:08:39,116 --> 01:08:40,315 You got this. 1577 01:08:50,927 --> 01:08:52,327 You scared me. 1578 01:09:03,105 --> 01:09:06,007 State name! Number! State name! Number! 1579 01:09:06,009 --> 01:09:07,609 Color! Color! Number! 1580 01:09:08,377 --> 01:09:09,744 This is the place. 1581 01:09:09,746 --> 01:09:11,312 You'd think if somebody wants to show us their operation, 1582 01:09:11,314 --> 01:09:12,747 they'd at least be on time. 1583 01:09:14,183 --> 01:09:16,584 Look at this crap. Huh? 1584 01:09:16,586 --> 01:09:18,653 I do miss the days... Shit. 1585 01:09:18,655 --> 01:09:20,488 What's he doing here? ...When people did normal drugs. 1586 01:09:21,223 --> 01:09:22,590 What is this? Jelly beans? 1587 01:09:23,792 --> 01:09:24,959 Crap! 1588 01:09:24,961 --> 01:09:26,995 Set, hut! 1589 01:09:26,997 --> 01:09:29,931 Mcquaid crosses in an end-around. 1590 01:09:29,933 --> 01:09:33,234 It's a trick play! These two are practically interchangeable. 1591 01:09:33,236 --> 01:09:35,503 Mcquaid throws down the field to haythe. 1592 01:09:40,209 --> 01:09:42,177 And he hangs on for the touchdown! 1593 01:09:42,179 --> 01:09:43,745 These two are peas in a pod, Bob, 1594 01:09:43,747 --> 01:09:45,146 but instead of little green balls, 1595 01:09:45,148 --> 01:09:46,648 they are human football players. 1596 01:09:50,854 --> 01:09:54,756 Let's hear it once again, mc state, for your dynamic duo. 1597 01:09:58,027 --> 01:09:59,561 Oh, shit. My brother needs me again. 1598 01:10:01,931 --> 01:10:04,332 Look, you know, loyalty's cool, 1599 01:10:04,334 --> 01:10:06,167 and I admire it, 1600 01:10:06,169 --> 01:10:07,335 and I know he's your brother. 1601 01:10:09,305 --> 01:10:10,972 But you can't allow yourself to be held down by a guy 1602 01:10:10,974 --> 01:10:13,675 just because he won't let go. 1603 01:10:18,047 --> 01:10:19,247 Yeah. Um... 1604 01:10:21,517 --> 01:10:23,318 I gotta take a piss. 1605 01:10:25,955 --> 01:10:28,122 The kid's pretty rude to make us wait like this. 1606 01:10:28,124 --> 01:10:29,791 Can you shut it? 1607 01:10:29,793 --> 01:10:31,993 What's wrong with those classic drugs from the '90s? 1608 01:10:31,995 --> 01:10:33,795 Heroin, you know, cocaine... 1609 01:10:33,797 --> 01:10:35,563 Hey, hey. Whoa. Shit. 1610 01:10:35,565 --> 01:10:36,631 I'm fucking here. You happy? Shh! 1611 01:10:36,633 --> 01:10:38,299 The ghost is right there, okay? 1612 01:10:38,301 --> 01:10:39,767 He's about to meet up with the supplier. 1613 01:10:39,769 --> 01:10:41,703 - Hey. Check that out. - You shush. 1614 01:10:41,705 --> 01:10:43,404 You're the one fucking talking. You're being so fucking loud. 1615 01:10:43,406 --> 01:10:44,572 You shut the fuck up. 1616 01:10:45,708 --> 01:10:46,708 - What's going on here? - Shit! 1617 01:10:46,710 --> 01:10:48,243 Um... 1618 01:10:48,245 --> 01:10:51,446 You're interrupting a really stellar blow job. 1619 01:10:51,448 --> 01:10:53,448 Oh, fuck, I just came so hard! 1620 01:10:53,450 --> 01:10:54,682 What the hell is going on? 1621 01:10:54,684 --> 01:10:55,650 It's okay. It's just a couple of faggots. 1622 01:10:56,785 --> 01:10:58,586 Hey, Yo, what the fuck did you just say? 1623 01:10:58,588 --> 01:10:59,988 Did you just call us "faggots"? 1624 01:10:59,990 --> 01:11:01,022 He said you were sucking his dick. 1625 01:11:02,024 --> 01:11:03,591 It's 2014, asshole. 1626 01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,159 You can't fucking use "faggot." 1627 01:11:05,161 --> 01:11:07,295 "Gay" is okay. "Homosexual," maybe. 1628 01:11:07,297 --> 01:11:09,797 And if you know the person, you might be able to call them a "queer." 1629 01:11:09,799 --> 01:11:11,699 If they have a great sense of humor, but I don't. 1630 01:11:11,701 --> 01:11:13,234 I'm sorry, he took one human sexuality class, 1631 01:11:13,236 --> 01:11:14,435 he thinks he's Harvey milk. 1632 01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:16,304 Oh, my God. Will you please, 1633 01:11:16,306 --> 01:11:18,306 just for once, just back me up? 1634 01:11:18,308 --> 01:11:19,907 Why can't you just use your head for once? 1635 01:11:19,909 --> 01:11:21,276 Oh. You want me to use my head? Fine. 1636 01:11:23,646 --> 01:11:24,879 Oh, yeah, what's up now, motherfuckers? 1637 01:11:24,881 --> 01:11:25,880 You remember me? 1638 01:11:25,882 --> 01:11:27,148 I'm your best night... 1639 01:11:27,150 --> 01:11:28,516 I'm your worst nightmare. 1640 01:11:28,518 --> 01:11:30,685 Oh, man, it's my memory. 1641 01:11:31,353 --> 01:11:32,920 It's getting worse lately. 1642 01:11:32,922 --> 01:11:34,656 Are you the police? 1643 01:11:34,658 --> 01:11:37,959 Yeah, that's right. And you motherfuckers are all under arrest. 1644 01:11:39,194 --> 01:11:40,762 Where's your gun? 1645 01:11:40,764 --> 01:11:41,896 What? Do you have guns? 1646 01:11:42,831 --> 01:11:44,265 No. 1647 01:11:44,267 --> 01:11:45,967 No, I don't. 1648 01:11:45,969 --> 01:11:48,736 'Cause we have guns. 1649 01:11:48,738 --> 01:11:52,840 Well, why don't you put your guns down, and let's fight like men? 1650 01:11:55,210 --> 01:11:56,678 Because we have guns. 1651 01:11:56,680 --> 01:11:58,513 Schmidt, run! Get him! 1652 01:11:58,515 --> 01:12:00,715 Go! Go, go. Go! 1653 01:12:00,717 --> 01:12:01,516 Shit! 1654 01:12:02,618 --> 01:12:04,185 How hard can it be? Shoot them! 1655 01:12:04,187 --> 01:12:05,420 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 1656 01:12:05,422 --> 01:12:06,387 Shoot them! Shoot them! 1657 01:12:08,190 --> 01:12:09,557 Come on, this way, it's faster. 1658 01:12:09,559 --> 01:12:10,825 No, just come this... Schmidt! Schmidt! 1659 01:12:13,095 --> 01:12:13,928 Hurry up, okay? 1660 01:12:18,567 --> 01:12:19,901 Schmidt, will you hurry up! 1661 01:12:19,903 --> 01:12:21,069 Stop yelling at me! You're distracting me! 1662 01:12:24,173 --> 01:12:25,640 Schmidt, come on! Let's go! 1663 01:12:25,642 --> 01:12:27,475 I can't jump down! I'm not, like, fucking spider-man! 1664 01:12:27,477 --> 01:12:29,344 I'm Gonna get the car. 1665 01:12:33,315 --> 01:12:34,549 Stairs are so much faster. 1666 01:12:35,685 --> 01:12:37,385 That's the car you got? 1667 01:12:37,387 --> 01:12:38,953 I'm sorry it's not a fucking lambo. Shut up and get in. 1668 01:12:38,955 --> 01:12:40,054 Are they even still chasing us? 1669 01:12:40,056 --> 01:12:40,955 Yes, they're still chasing us! 1670 01:12:48,864 --> 01:12:50,264 Why did you do that? We were about to catch the supplier. 1671 01:12:50,266 --> 01:12:51,499 What's wrong with you? 1672 01:12:51,501 --> 01:12:52,767 Look, if you don't say something, 1673 01:12:52,769 --> 01:12:54,535 people will never stop discriminating. 1674 01:12:54,537 --> 01:12:56,137 Will you please do something 1675 01:12:56,139 --> 01:12:57,138 about how slow this thing's going? 1676 01:13:01,544 --> 01:13:02,744 Oh, shit! Watch out, watch out! 1677 01:13:06,882 --> 01:13:08,683 That is just like a little helmet machine. 1678 01:13:19,027 --> 01:13:20,962 We can't destroy any more stuff! 1679 01:13:20,964 --> 01:13:23,531 We can't waste any more of the department's money! 1680 01:13:23,533 --> 01:13:24,866 Watch out for that cash machine! 1681 01:13:27,970 --> 01:13:29,604 Whoo! 1682 01:13:29,606 --> 01:13:30,772 Which way? Which way? Which way? 1683 01:13:30,774 --> 01:13:31,439 Whichever way's cheaper! 1684 01:13:32,241 --> 01:13:34,108 Right? You went right? 1685 01:13:34,110 --> 01:13:35,543 You could've gone in a parking lot, 1686 01:13:35,545 --> 01:13:36,878 you went to the sculpture garden? 1687 01:13:36,880 --> 01:13:37,945 Do you know how expensive that's Gonna be? 1688 01:13:43,185 --> 01:13:44,652 Shit! 1689 01:13:44,654 --> 01:13:45,620 It's like they're trying to hit 'em or something. 1690 01:13:45,622 --> 01:13:46,954 I mean, it looks cool, 1691 01:13:46,956 --> 01:13:48,055 but, I mean, it's just so wasteful. 1692 01:13:50,959 --> 01:13:53,094 They're destroying everything! 1693 01:13:53,096 --> 01:13:55,329 Captain's Gonna kill us! 1694 01:13:55,331 --> 01:13:56,898 What are we Gonna do? 1695 01:13:56,900 --> 01:13:58,065 All right, we're Gonna lose 'em in the robotics lab. 1696 01:13:58,067 --> 01:13:59,000 What? 1697 01:14:04,740 --> 01:14:07,074 Oh, no! Oh, we broke everything! 1698 01:14:07,076 --> 01:14:08,843 There was a lot of expensive stuff in there! 1699 01:14:10,279 --> 01:14:11,179 Oh, shit! 1700 01:14:12,748 --> 01:14:13,614 They're going into the stadium! 1701 01:14:16,885 --> 01:14:18,186 Listen, Schmidt, I gotta tell you something. 1702 01:14:19,388 --> 01:14:20,588 I got offered a scholarship 1703 01:14:20,590 --> 01:14:22,356 to play football here next year. 1704 01:14:22,358 --> 01:14:24,392 And Zook said I could room with him, you know, 1705 01:14:24,394 --> 01:14:28,329 so I was thinking that I could do that, maybe. 1706 01:14:28,331 --> 01:14:30,331 What? You can't be a cop 1707 01:14:30,333 --> 01:14:32,099 and stay here and play football with Zook. 1708 01:14:32,101 --> 01:14:34,135 No, look, I know, okay? It's just... 1709 01:14:34,137 --> 01:14:36,270 There's no friction with me and Zook. We're the same. 1710 01:14:36,272 --> 01:14:38,473 Do you want out? If you want out, just say it. 1711 01:14:38,475 --> 01:14:40,274 No, I don't want out, okay? 1712 01:14:40,276 --> 01:14:41,943 It's just, when I'm on the football field 1713 01:14:41,945 --> 01:14:44,479 and I'm diving for a pass, I feel like I can fly. 1714 01:14:44,481 --> 01:14:45,780 All right? And when I'm with you, 1715 01:14:45,782 --> 01:14:47,048 it just feels like you hold me down. 1716 01:14:48,684 --> 01:14:50,551 I just wish you could fly with me. 1717 01:14:50,553 --> 01:14:53,521 And the statesmen win, 34-14. 1718 01:14:53,523 --> 01:14:55,423 And there go the fans onto the field. 1719 01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:03,264 Jenko! 1720 01:15:04,366 --> 01:15:05,700 Jesus Christ! 1721 01:15:08,003 --> 01:15:09,337 Dude, the brakes are out. What? 1722 01:15:09,339 --> 01:15:10,872 Get the fuck out of the way! 1723 01:15:10,874 --> 01:15:11,973 You gotta jump. You gotta jump, jump, jump! 1724 01:15:18,247 --> 01:15:18,813 No. 1725 01:15:28,690 --> 01:15:29,824 Fuck! 1726 01:15:41,837 --> 01:15:43,037 Let's go, boss. We gotta go. 1727 01:15:45,073 --> 01:15:47,108 You did it! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 1728 01:15:49,478 --> 01:15:51,078 You're under arrest, sir. 1729 01:15:51,080 --> 01:15:52,713 Hey, I'm an officer, all right? 1730 01:15:52,715 --> 01:15:55,149 Just take me in. I'll explain later. 1731 01:15:55,151 --> 01:15:57,218 No, no, no. Hey, he's a student. He didn't do anything. 1732 01:15:57,220 --> 01:16:00,187 Wait, wait. What are you doing? What are you doing? 1733 01:16:00,189 --> 01:16:01,155 I, um... 1734 01:16:01,823 --> 01:16:03,324 I decided for you. 1735 01:16:04,826 --> 01:16:08,129 Just stick with football. 1736 01:16:08,131 --> 01:16:11,365 I can't give you the same feeling that these guys can. 1737 01:16:11,367 --> 01:16:12,400 Maybe we were only supposed to do this once. 1738 01:16:12,402 --> 01:16:13,968 What? 1739 01:16:13,970 --> 01:16:14,936 Dude, this is the fucking best moment of my life! 1740 01:16:14,938 --> 01:16:16,270 Let's go, man! 1741 01:16:19,441 --> 01:16:22,910 Mcquaid! Mcquaid! Mcquaid! 1742 01:16:28,617 --> 01:16:29,917 ¶ ¶ 1743 01:16:37,960 --> 01:16:39,226 Hey, Maya Angelou. 1744 01:16:40,329 --> 01:16:41,629 Thanks for lying to me. 1745 01:16:48,270 --> 01:16:49,136 Aw. 1746 01:16:53,976 --> 01:16:56,210 Lam-bros! Yes! 1747 01:16:56,212 --> 01:16:58,546 Brad Mcquaid! Brad Mcquaid! 1748 01:16:58,548 --> 01:16:59,947 Brad Mcquaid! Brad... 1749 01:17:07,022 --> 01:17:09,056 How are we doing tonight, sir? Good, thanks. 1750 01:17:09,058 --> 01:17:10,992 Are we waiting on anybody or you dining alone? 1751 01:17:10,994 --> 01:17:13,027 Someone may swing by, but we can... 1752 01:17:13,029 --> 01:17:14,795 We can order without them. 1753 01:17:14,797 --> 01:17:19,100 We have identified and arrested one Dr. Karl Murphy, 1754 01:17:19,102 --> 01:17:22,436 who was found with whyphy residue throughout his office... 1755 01:17:22,438 --> 01:17:26,007 ...and had a close personal relationship with the deceased. 1756 01:17:26,009 --> 01:17:28,709 Exactly like a case we had recently at a high school. 1757 01:17:29,578 --> 01:17:31,746 Exactly the same. 1758 01:17:32,781 --> 01:17:34,949 The case is closed. 1759 01:17:34,951 --> 01:17:37,118 You know, like, what you're Gonna do after you're out of here? 1760 01:17:41,556 --> 01:17:43,791 You're not supposed to throw rocks. 1761 01:17:45,293 --> 01:17:46,527 What? 1762 01:17:46,529 --> 01:17:49,030 You're not supposed to throw rocks. 1763 01:17:49,032 --> 01:17:50,798 ¶ I ain't missing you at all 1764 01:17:53,902 --> 01:17:58,239 ¶ since you've been gone away 1765 01:17:58,241 --> 01:18:01,008 the lobster for one person. 1766 01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:03,144 Enough for one person only. 1767 01:18:03,146 --> 01:18:06,847 ¶ No matter what my friends say 1768 01:18:06,849 --> 01:18:08,649 I found something in this whyphy case that caught my attention. 1769 01:18:08,651 --> 01:18:10,351 Get the fuck out of my office. 1770 01:18:10,353 --> 01:18:11,819 Sir, you don't... We caught the guy. 1771 01:18:12,989 --> 01:18:15,289 Yeah! Yeah! 1772 01:18:20,028 --> 01:18:23,130 Hey, you want to do anything else other than work out today? 1773 01:18:23,132 --> 01:18:24,365 Like what? 1774 01:18:24,367 --> 01:18:26,000 Come on, dude. They're just lobsters, dude. 1775 01:18:26,002 --> 01:18:27,468 Come on. No, don't be afraid. 1776 01:18:27,470 --> 01:18:29,470 It's Gonna claw your face. It's Gonna claw your face. 1777 01:18:36,144 --> 01:18:39,880 It's Gonna be like this, dude, for the rest of our lives. 1778 01:18:39,882 --> 01:18:41,315 ¶ ¶ 1779 01:18:41,317 --> 01:18:44,218 ¶ down this long distance line tonight 1780 01:18:44,220 --> 01:18:46,120 ¶ I ain't missing you at all 1781 01:18:49,091 --> 01:18:53,060 ¶ since you've been gone away 1782 01:18:53,062 --> 01:18:54,829 ¶ I ain't missing you 1783 01:18:58,500 --> 01:19:02,870 ¶ no matter what my friends say 1784 01:19:02,872 --> 01:19:04,739 ¶ ain't missing you ¶ 1785 01:19:06,742 --> 01:19:07,875 hey. Hey. 1786 01:19:10,679 --> 01:19:12,513 What are you doing here? 1787 01:19:12,515 --> 01:19:14,482 Just came to see how you are. 1788 01:19:15,784 --> 01:19:17,585 I'm doing fucking great. 1789 01:19:17,587 --> 01:19:19,086 I'm the happiest I've ever been, 1790 01:19:19,088 --> 01:19:21,655 so I'm just having a great time with myself. 1791 01:19:21,657 --> 01:19:23,457 I'm glad you're having a good time with yourself. 1792 01:19:23,459 --> 01:19:26,761 I'm a solo artist now, like Beyonce. 1793 01:19:26,763 --> 01:19:30,498 I used to have the other destiny's children, but now I'm just, uh, 1794 01:19:30,500 --> 01:19:31,699 a lone superstar. 1795 01:19:31,701 --> 01:19:33,434 Happy for you. 1796 01:19:33,436 --> 01:19:36,337 Just a light-skinned Princess with a dream and an amazing voice. 1797 01:19:36,339 --> 01:19:37,138 That's great. 1798 01:19:38,140 --> 01:19:39,006 How are you? 1799 01:19:39,708 --> 01:19:42,209 I'm pretty great. 1800 01:19:42,211 --> 01:19:44,912 I just chill and... You know how chill Zook is. 1801 01:19:44,914 --> 01:19:45,980 Zook's such a chill guy. 1802 01:19:45,982 --> 01:19:47,648 Just like ice. 1803 01:19:47,650 --> 01:19:49,483 That makes me so happy for you. 1804 01:19:52,554 --> 01:19:54,855 So, look, I just wanted to say that, like, 1805 01:19:54,857 --> 01:19:56,924 I was thinking about the case, 1806 01:19:56,926 --> 01:19:59,193 and I was worried that they got the wrong guy for it. 1807 01:20:00,962 --> 01:20:01,729 I don't think he's the guy, either. 1808 01:20:01,731 --> 01:20:03,330 Yeah? 1809 01:20:03,332 --> 01:20:05,399 I looked into the ghost's background, 1810 01:20:05,401 --> 01:20:08,469 and I saw that he pays tuition for a student at mc state. 1811 01:20:08,471 --> 01:20:10,204 You think the ghost could be the supplier's dad? 1812 01:20:10,206 --> 01:20:11,472 Maybe. 1813 01:20:11,474 --> 01:20:12,540 Okay, that's a pretty good piece of information. 1814 01:20:12,542 --> 01:20:13,808 Thank you. 1815 01:20:13,810 --> 01:20:16,210 Well, I heard whyphy's coming back in a big way. 1816 01:20:16,212 --> 01:20:17,711 Someone's bringing a shit-ton of that stuff 1817 01:20:17,713 --> 01:20:19,547 down to Puerto, Mexico, for spring break. 1818 01:20:19,549 --> 01:20:22,583 And if that happens, whyphy is going viral. 1819 01:20:22,585 --> 01:20:24,051 It's Gonna be at every college in the country. 1820 01:20:24,053 --> 01:20:26,287 I think my information was stronger. 1821 01:20:26,289 --> 01:20:28,255 Look, if you... If you want to, 1822 01:20:29,925 --> 01:20:30,958 we could go down there. 1823 01:20:32,060 --> 01:20:33,761 Like together? 1824 01:20:33,763 --> 01:20:35,396 We don't have to put a label on it. 1825 01:20:35,398 --> 01:20:37,598 Just, like, one-time. One-time thing. 1826 01:20:37,600 --> 01:20:39,733 No big commitment or stress to each other. 1827 01:20:43,038 --> 01:20:45,539 What about school and football and your wonderful new life? 1828 01:20:46,842 --> 01:20:47,608 I have time off. 1829 01:20:49,711 --> 01:20:51,212 I'm on spring break. 1830 01:20:51,746 --> 01:20:52,847 ¶ ¶ 1831 01:21:05,895 --> 01:21:06,894 Cool tingling. 1832 01:21:08,029 --> 01:21:09,430 Got room for one of these babies. 1833 01:21:09,432 --> 01:21:11,732 A grenade. Why you Gonna put it there? 1834 01:21:11,734 --> 01:21:13,167 That's just unsanitary. 1835 01:21:13,169 --> 01:21:14,134 Feels right. 1836 01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:27,181 Missed a spot. 1837 01:21:38,827 --> 01:21:40,194 You know this is just a one-time thing, right? 1838 01:21:41,796 --> 01:21:42,930 I know. 1839 01:21:44,266 --> 01:21:46,467 So you're not Gonna be weird about this? 1840 01:21:50,772 --> 01:21:51,939 Okay. 1841 01:21:56,611 --> 01:21:57,478 Perfect. 1842 01:21:58,747 --> 01:22:00,481 Spring break, motherfucker. 1843 01:22:04,152 --> 01:22:05,586 Did you not see that I was going first? Excuse you. 1844 01:22:05,588 --> 01:22:07,655 Excuse you. You want to go first? 1845 01:22:07,657 --> 01:22:09,623 Spring break, motherfuckers! 1846 01:22:11,794 --> 01:22:13,294 ¶ ¶ 1847 01:22:13,296 --> 01:22:15,362 ¶ I be divin' in the crowd 1848 01:22:15,364 --> 01:22:16,897 ¶ shake my dreads, actin' wild 1849 01:22:16,899 --> 01:22:18,565 ¶ can't do lean, too blowed out 1850 01:22:18,567 --> 01:22:20,367 ¶ too turned up, I can't turn down 1851 01:22:20,369 --> 01:22:21,835 ¶ can't turn down can't turn down 1852 01:22:21,837 --> 01:22:23,203 ¶ can't turn down 1853 01:22:27,876 --> 01:22:29,009 hey. 1854 01:22:38,320 --> 01:22:40,220 ¶ All I wanna do is party 1855 01:22:40,222 --> 01:22:41,722 ¶ my head keep on spinning around 1856 01:22:41,724 --> 01:22:43,090 ¶ baby girl, why don't you first 1857 01:22:43,092 --> 01:22:44,959 ¶ drop it to the ground 1858 01:22:44,961 --> 01:22:46,727 ¶ I be divin' in the crowd 1859 01:22:46,729 --> 01:22:48,195 ¶ shake my dreads, actin' wild 1860 01:22:48,197 --> 01:22:49,964 ¶ can't do lean, too blowed out 1861 01:22:49,966 --> 01:22:51,799 ¶ too turned up, I can't turn down 1862 01:22:51,801 --> 01:22:53,400 ¶ can't turn down can't turn down 1863 01:22:53,402 --> 01:22:54,935 ¶ can't turn down can't turn down 1864 01:22:54,937 --> 01:22:56,704 ¶ can't turn down can't turn down 1865 01:22:56,706 --> 01:22:58,005 ¶ can't turn down can't turn down ¶ 1866 01:23:02,811 --> 01:23:05,079 my gosh! I'm sweaty. 1867 01:23:05,081 --> 01:23:06,180 You guys are actually eating stuff in here? 1868 01:23:06,681 --> 01:23:08,315 That's so crazy. 1869 01:23:08,317 --> 01:23:09,950 Come on, man, put your dick away. 1870 01:23:09,952 --> 01:23:11,218 Put your fucking dick away. 1871 01:23:11,220 --> 01:23:12,720 Upstairs, upstairs. Let's go. 1872 01:23:15,190 --> 01:23:16,957 Okay, so here's the plan. 1873 01:23:16,959 --> 01:23:21,061 We're Gonna get all these kids at spring break hooked on whyphy. 1874 01:23:21,063 --> 01:23:23,063 Then you're Gonna bring it back to your turf, 1875 01:23:23,065 --> 01:23:25,165 and you're Gonna sell the shit out of it. 1876 01:23:25,167 --> 01:23:27,901 "Sell shit out of it." Do you see that? 1877 01:23:27,903 --> 01:23:31,705 And if you rat me out, I framed my psych prof just for giving me a b-minus. 1878 01:23:31,707 --> 01:23:34,208 He's in jail now, so don't fuck with me. 1879 01:23:35,610 --> 01:23:36,744 We're Gonna build a nationwide network. 1880 01:23:36,746 --> 01:23:39,146 What? What the fuck are you doing? Be quiet. 1881 01:23:39,148 --> 01:23:41,615 Why don't you sell those old classic drugs 1882 01:23:41,617 --> 01:23:44,685 from the '90s, like cocaine, heroin and... 1883 01:23:44,687 --> 01:23:47,388 Dad, those are, like, old-people drugs. 1884 01:23:47,390 --> 01:23:49,256 That's, like, what they did on the golden girls. 1885 01:23:49,258 --> 01:23:50,824 Like, blanche did heroin. 1886 01:23:50,826 --> 01:23:53,160 All right, I'll just sit here and be silent. 1887 01:23:53,162 --> 01:23:55,763 Blanche never did heroin. 1888 01:23:55,765 --> 01:23:57,965 Okay, so, Yangs, you'll take my dead roommate's spot. 1889 01:23:57,967 --> 01:23:59,299 Cool. Dope. 1890 01:23:59,301 --> 01:24:01,168 Are you kidding me, Yangs? Are you fucking high? 1891 01:24:01,170 --> 01:24:02,970 Of course. Yeah, I am. 1892 01:24:02,972 --> 01:24:04,271 Jesus Christ, have you ever heard of, 1893 01:24:04,273 --> 01:24:05,706 "don't get high on your own supply"? 1894 01:24:05,708 --> 01:24:06,840 We didn't. Nah. 1895 01:24:06,842 --> 01:24:08,075 I didn't do that. 1896 01:24:08,077 --> 01:24:09,676 Yeah, I used his and he used mine. 1897 01:24:09,678 --> 01:24:11,812 Okay, well, now I have to make a fucking example out of you. 1898 01:24:13,048 --> 01:24:13,847 That's a gun. Yeah. 1899 01:24:13,849 --> 01:24:15,682 Who first? 1900 01:24:15,684 --> 01:24:17,384 You want to go first? I don't want to die. 1901 01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:18,819 You die... I don't want to die. 1902 01:24:18,821 --> 01:24:20,320 You want to do rock paper scissors? Rock paper scissors? 1903 01:24:20,322 --> 01:24:21,655 That's how we'll do it. That's how we'll do it. 1904 01:24:22,057 --> 01:24:23,190 Fuck. 1905 01:24:23,658 --> 01:24:24,858 Fuck. 1906 01:24:24,860 --> 01:24:26,260 Fuck. 1907 01:24:26,262 --> 01:24:27,628 Yeah, we won't figure this out. 1908 01:24:27,630 --> 01:24:29,229 - I'll shoot both of you. - Darling. 1909 01:24:29,231 --> 01:24:31,598 If you're going into the family business, 1910 01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:33,500 you will have to have a clean record. 1911 01:24:33,502 --> 01:24:36,203 That's why we have these guys to do it for us. 1912 01:24:37,705 --> 01:24:39,773 Oh, fuck. Jinx. 1913 01:24:39,775 --> 01:24:40,741 We got to move right now. 1914 01:24:40,743 --> 01:24:43,410 Buy me a coke in heaven. Jinx again. 1915 01:24:43,412 --> 01:24:44,611 Put your guns down! Fucking guns down! 1916 01:24:45,146 --> 01:24:46,480 Doug? 1917 01:24:46,482 --> 01:24:48,949 My name's not Doug, it's Schmidt. 1918 01:24:48,951 --> 01:24:50,751 And guess what, we're cops. Boom. 1919 01:24:51,986 --> 01:24:53,454 Oh, my God. 1920 01:24:53,456 --> 01:24:55,689 Yeah, everybody knows. Really? 1921 01:24:55,691 --> 01:24:59,126 You guys look like the stars of a cop show called Hawaiian dads. 1922 01:24:59,128 --> 01:25:01,728 All right, enough is enough. Boys, move in! 1923 01:25:01,730 --> 01:25:03,564 - Oh, do we have company? - Yeah! 1924 01:25:05,033 --> 01:25:06,834 Drop your guns. Drop yours first. 1925 01:25:06,836 --> 01:25:09,169 We have way more guns than you. Drop your fucking guns. 1926 01:25:09,171 --> 01:25:10,370 Okay, that's a good point. 1927 01:25:10,372 --> 01:25:12,106 Wow. 1928 01:25:12,108 --> 01:25:14,741 I mean, was this really your entire plan? 1929 01:25:14,743 --> 01:25:16,176 Coming in here with no backup? 1930 01:25:16,178 --> 01:25:19,213 Or maybe we had a far more elaborate plan. Mmm-hmm. 1931 01:25:19,215 --> 01:25:21,548 Maybe my partner has a tracking device in his pocket right now. 1932 01:25:21,550 --> 01:25:22,783 May... what? 1933 01:25:22,785 --> 01:25:24,451 You had the fucking tracking device. I don't have it. 1934 01:25:24,453 --> 01:25:26,086 That's the one fucking thing you were supposed to remember. 1935 01:25:26,088 --> 01:25:27,988 You're the smart person. You do the tracking device shit. 1936 01:25:27,990 --> 01:25:29,723 That's your domain. I do the Physical shit. 1937 01:25:29,725 --> 01:25:31,825 You know what, I may drag you down sometimes, 1938 01:25:31,827 --> 01:25:34,862 but every possible time you can do something dumb, 1939 01:25:34,864 --> 01:25:36,330 you do the dumbest possible thing. 1940 01:25:36,332 --> 01:25:37,998 No, the fucking dumbest possible thing 1941 01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:39,833 is letting two cops blah-blah-blah 1942 01:25:39,835 --> 01:25:42,402 while other cops are getting in position to bust their shit in. 1943 01:25:42,404 --> 01:25:44,071 Oh, so you mean I brought the tracking device. 1944 01:25:44,073 --> 01:25:46,140 Yeah. What's up now, huh? 1945 01:25:46,142 --> 01:25:47,674 That seemed like such a real argument. 1946 01:25:47,676 --> 01:25:49,042 That's improv, bitch. 1947 01:25:49,044 --> 01:25:50,177 Move! 1948 01:25:51,946 --> 01:25:53,213 Spring break yourself, fool. 1949 01:25:55,116 --> 01:25:57,217 We shoot dicks off here in jump street. 1950 01:26:00,388 --> 01:26:02,789 We're here, as well. 1951 01:26:02,791 --> 01:26:05,826 We jump street, and we about to jump in Yo' ass. 1952 01:26:06,928 --> 01:26:08,529 Right in the crack. 1953 01:26:08,531 --> 01:26:09,897 Don't do it, Leatherface. 1954 01:26:16,337 --> 01:26:16,937 He's got the drugs! 1955 01:26:22,777 --> 01:26:25,112 This is so boring. No one's getting shot. 1956 01:26:26,981 --> 01:26:28,415 Oh, my God. 1957 01:26:28,417 --> 01:26:31,785 Did you just get shot, like, right after I fucking said that? 1958 01:26:34,322 --> 01:26:35,322 Can I have your gun? It's bigger. 1959 01:26:36,859 --> 01:26:37,858 Stop! I'll shoot you in the ass! 1960 01:26:37,860 --> 01:26:38,725 Dad! 1961 01:26:40,128 --> 01:26:42,196 Maya? 1962 01:26:42,198 --> 01:26:43,764 What are you doing here? 1963 01:26:43,766 --> 01:26:44,898 This is a shoot-out. 1964 01:26:44,900 --> 01:26:46,500 You know what happens in a shoot-out. 1965 01:26:46,502 --> 01:26:48,368 They always kidnap the girl. 1966 01:26:48,370 --> 01:26:49,703 Not always. 1967 01:26:49,705 --> 01:26:51,438 Mercedes? You're coming with me. 1968 01:26:51,440 --> 01:26:53,407 Bitch, please. I ain't going nowhere with you. 1969 01:26:55,878 --> 01:26:57,110 Now. 1970 01:26:57,112 --> 01:26:58,212 Dad, what do I do? 1971 01:26:58,214 --> 01:26:58,979 Is that my bathing suit? 1972 01:27:02,151 --> 01:27:03,417 Just ask. It's polite. 1973 01:27:05,386 --> 01:27:06,820 You shot me in my foot! Wait! 1974 01:27:06,822 --> 01:27:08,488 Move! Move faster now! 1975 01:27:08,490 --> 01:27:11,058 I'm taking my time. Shit, you shot me in my goddamn foot. 1976 01:27:11,060 --> 01:27:12,259 Doug? Doug! 1977 01:27:12,261 --> 01:27:13,627 Maya! 1978 01:27:13,629 --> 01:27:15,095 Mercedes just took my dad that way! 1979 01:27:15,097 --> 01:27:16,463 Okay, we're on it. 1980 01:27:18,399 --> 01:27:21,335 If I die, I'm Gonna kill both of you motherfuckers! 1981 01:27:21,337 --> 01:27:23,303 Fuck. How are we Gonna catch him now? 1982 01:27:26,040 --> 01:27:27,407 Lambo. 1983 01:27:30,478 --> 01:27:31,979 Policia! Policia! Fuck off. 1984 01:27:32,981 --> 01:27:33,714 Shit, there's ghost! 1985 01:27:34,949 --> 01:27:36,116 What? What do we do? 1986 01:27:36,118 --> 01:27:37,484 Uh, we need to split up. 1987 01:27:38,219 --> 01:27:40,153 Are you okay with that? 1988 01:27:40,155 --> 01:27:41,221 Yeah, I can do it. 1989 01:27:41,223 --> 01:27:42,556 Are you sure? 1990 01:27:42,558 --> 01:27:44,358 I need to drive, 'cause you're faster on foot. 1991 01:27:44,360 --> 01:27:45,826 What? I don't get to drive the lambo? 1992 01:27:45,828 --> 01:27:47,761 No, you don't. Come on, let's go! 1993 01:27:47,763 --> 01:27:49,596 But I want... Who gives a shit about the lambo? Just go! 1994 01:27:49,598 --> 01:27:50,697 Let go of the fucking keys! I can't let 'em go. 1995 01:27:50,699 --> 01:27:51,898 You're Gonna have to take 'em. 1996 01:27:51,900 --> 01:27:53,700 Take care of her, okay? It'll be glorious, I promise. 1997 01:27:55,036 --> 01:27:55,736 How do you drive this thing? 1998 01:27:56,704 --> 01:27:58,272 You got to let her drive you, bro. 1999 01:28:01,009 --> 01:28:02,376 I can't get in. 2000 01:28:05,113 --> 01:28:06,280 Hey! 2001 01:28:06,282 --> 01:28:07,514 Look where you're going! 2002 01:28:10,385 --> 01:28:11,551 It's so confusing! 2003 01:28:18,426 --> 01:28:19,993 Easy, bitch. My hands are hurting. 2004 01:28:22,664 --> 01:28:23,530 Whoa! 2005 01:28:27,702 --> 01:28:29,436 You know who's behind us in that car? 2006 01:28:29,438 --> 01:28:31,371 That's one of the best drivers that we got. 2007 01:28:32,073 --> 01:28:33,206 Fuck! 2008 01:28:33,208 --> 01:28:35,342 Oh, shit. 2009 01:28:35,344 --> 01:28:36,877 - Fucking complicated. - What is this? 2010 01:28:38,379 --> 01:28:39,646 Holy shit! 2011 01:28:41,649 --> 01:28:43,483 You fucked up me driving a Lamborghini, you dick! 2012 01:28:45,987 --> 01:28:46,753 Fuck you, doves! 2013 01:28:55,463 --> 01:28:57,964 Puerto, Mexico, let's hear you get crazy! 2014 01:29:03,371 --> 01:29:04,504 It's like a Batmobile. 2015 01:29:04,506 --> 01:29:05,539 Come on, Schmidt! 2016 01:29:08,409 --> 01:29:09,643 Old man coming through! 2017 01:29:12,080 --> 01:29:13,347 Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. 2018 01:29:13,349 --> 01:29:16,416 Brad! Spring break! 2019 01:29:16,418 --> 01:29:17,451 Look, I can't, all right? 2020 01:29:18,586 --> 01:29:20,320 Dude, I got to go. I got to go. 2021 01:29:20,322 --> 01:29:21,822 This is quite enough. 2022 01:29:21,824 --> 01:29:23,690 You need to let me go and drop all this. 2023 01:29:25,426 --> 01:29:26,426 Get out of the way! 2024 01:29:30,798 --> 01:29:33,900 Tokyo drift! 2025 01:29:36,137 --> 01:29:38,605 That was way too fast and pretty... 2026 01:29:38,607 --> 01:29:40,407 Way too... A little bit too furious. 2027 01:29:40,409 --> 01:29:42,809 Schmidt! Get over here! I'm handcuffed! 2028 01:29:44,446 --> 01:29:46,480 Give it up, asshole! And nice parking job! 2029 01:29:46,482 --> 01:29:48,081 Fuck! I'll be right back. 2030 01:29:48,083 --> 01:29:49,449 I gotta go. I'll be right back. Sorry. 2031 01:29:49,451 --> 01:29:51,451 That's a direct order, motherfucker! Come over here! 2032 01:29:59,927 --> 01:30:01,795 You are so old and weak! 2033 01:30:01,797 --> 01:30:04,131 Drop the fucking gun! Seriously! 2034 01:30:04,133 --> 01:30:05,599 Get your wrinkly hands off me! 2035 01:30:10,071 --> 01:30:11,204 Where the hell have you been? 2036 01:30:11,206 --> 01:30:12,539 Looking for you. 2037 01:30:12,541 --> 01:30:14,207 I've been running like crazy! 2038 01:30:14,209 --> 01:30:15,475 Hey! Hey. 2039 01:30:17,678 --> 01:30:19,546 Want to fight like a man? 2040 01:30:19,548 --> 01:30:21,381 Then you better fight like two men. 2041 01:30:21,383 --> 01:30:22,182 Hey. Hey. 2042 01:30:23,351 --> 01:30:25,552 Really? More twins? 2043 01:30:28,656 --> 01:30:30,023 Get up, old man river! 2044 01:30:30,758 --> 01:30:32,626 Come on! Hey. 2045 01:30:32,628 --> 01:30:34,127 Get up and hit me, you fucking pussy! 2046 01:30:34,129 --> 01:30:36,129 I'm not Gonna fight a girl, so just stop! 2047 01:30:36,131 --> 01:30:37,497 It shouldn't matter. 2048 01:30:37,499 --> 01:30:39,499 If you thought of me as a person instead of a woman, 2049 01:30:39,501 --> 01:30:41,001 you would hit me and not feel bad about it. 2050 01:30:42,904 --> 01:30:44,571 Okay. Bring it! 2051 01:30:44,573 --> 01:30:46,106 I'm ready. 2052 01:30:46,108 --> 01:30:47,641 It's on now, Dawg. 2053 01:30:48,142 --> 01:30:49,443 Girl fight. 2054 01:30:51,513 --> 01:30:53,847 Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. 2055 01:30:53,849 --> 01:30:55,415 Is there blood in my eye? Oh, my God. Are you all right? 2056 01:30:55,417 --> 01:30:56,850 I think there's blood in my eye. 2057 01:30:56,852 --> 01:30:58,452 Fucking learn how to hit! 2058 01:31:00,388 --> 01:31:02,088 That's a little better! 2059 01:31:02,090 --> 01:31:03,657 That's a little better, motherfucker! Come on! Come on! 2060 01:31:07,862 --> 01:31:09,963 No! No! What? 2061 01:31:09,965 --> 01:31:11,898 What were you doing? What am I doing? 2062 01:31:11,900 --> 01:31:13,166 Why'd you try to kiss me? 2063 01:31:13,168 --> 01:31:14,334 I didn't fucking try and kiss you! 2064 01:31:14,336 --> 01:31:16,536 Yes, you did. Ooh, you're so weird! 2065 01:31:16,538 --> 01:31:18,371 You're fucking Mr. and Mrs. Smith-ing me. 2066 01:31:18,373 --> 01:31:19,873 I'm not Mr. and Mrs. Smith-ing you. 2067 01:31:19,875 --> 01:31:21,241 This wasn't a sexy fight. 2068 01:31:21,243 --> 01:31:23,543 Oh, like you haven't wanted to kiss me the whole time. 2069 01:31:23,545 --> 01:31:25,879 I never once wanted to kiss you! 2070 01:31:25,881 --> 01:31:27,747 Never! No! 2071 01:31:27,749 --> 01:31:28,849 You just did it again! Stop it! Stop! 2072 01:31:28,851 --> 01:31:30,383 You're making a face that is sexy! 2073 01:31:30,385 --> 01:31:32,185 I don't even want to kiss you! 2074 01:31:32,187 --> 01:31:33,553 Then stop trying! 2075 01:31:33,555 --> 01:31:34,988 You keep trying! 2076 01:31:34,990 --> 01:31:36,623 I've never tried to kiss you. 2077 01:31:36,625 --> 01:31:37,557 You gave me "kiss me" eyes. 2078 01:31:37,559 --> 01:31:38,959 No, I didn't. 2079 01:31:38,961 --> 01:31:40,794 The eyes were "I just got punched in the face" eyes. 2080 01:31:40,796 --> 01:31:42,062 They weren't "kiss me" eyes. 2081 01:31:42,064 --> 01:31:43,296 I don't even like you! 2082 01:31:43,298 --> 01:31:45,065 Neither do I, so stop kissing me! 2083 01:31:45,067 --> 01:31:46,199 Okay! 2084 01:31:47,435 --> 01:31:49,202 No! You're leaning in again! 2085 01:31:49,204 --> 01:31:50,737 I didn't know if we were Gonna punch or kiss! 2086 01:31:50,739 --> 01:31:52,239 You're making this so uncomfortable. 2087 01:31:52,241 --> 01:31:55,108 This is the most uncomfortable fistfight I've ever been in. 2088 01:31:55,110 --> 01:31:56,643 I'm Gonna give you an out by punching you in the face. 2089 01:31:56,645 --> 01:31:58,111 Okay? Okay. 2090 01:31:58,113 --> 01:31:59,813 And then we're Gonna go back to fighting 2091 01:31:59,815 --> 01:32:01,081 and we'll pretend this never happened, 2092 01:32:01,083 --> 01:32:02,148 'cause I feel so awkward. 2093 01:32:17,565 --> 01:32:18,932 I want to see you get crazy! 2094 01:32:24,338 --> 01:32:25,205 Whoo! 2095 01:32:50,898 --> 01:32:52,799 I fucking hate spring break! 2096 01:32:56,003 --> 01:32:57,270 Fuck! 2097 01:32:57,272 --> 01:32:58,171 Ow! 2098 01:33:02,843 --> 01:33:04,344 Are you kidding me? It's plastic. 2099 01:33:04,346 --> 01:33:05,979 Doesn't even hurt! Okay... 2100 01:33:05,981 --> 01:33:07,080 This isn't the spring break you imagined? 2101 01:33:08,082 --> 01:33:09,115 How about this? You want a little fun? 2102 01:33:09,117 --> 01:33:10,216 What is that? 2103 01:33:10,218 --> 01:33:11,518 Get wet, baby! 2104 01:33:11,520 --> 01:33:13,186 So much lube in my face! 2105 01:33:14,422 --> 01:33:15,589 Oh. 2106 01:33:15,591 --> 01:33:17,057 Lube on my face. 2107 01:33:20,161 --> 01:33:22,729 You're so violent! 2108 01:33:22,731 --> 01:33:24,831 Get off me unless you're Gonna fuck me! 2109 01:33:24,833 --> 01:33:26,099 I'm not Gonna fuck you! 2110 01:33:26,101 --> 01:33:27,767 Are we Gonna fuck? No, we're not! 2111 01:33:27,769 --> 01:33:29,035 Is that what's happening? 2112 01:33:29,037 --> 01:33:30,637 No! I'm not Gonna fuck you, ever! 2113 01:33:30,639 --> 01:33:32,072 Get off! 2114 01:33:40,548 --> 01:33:41,715 Hey! 2115 01:33:42,483 --> 01:33:43,683 Hey! 2116 01:33:44,920 --> 01:33:46,453 What? What are you Gonna do? 2117 01:33:46,455 --> 01:33:48,655 Choke me with your liver-spotted hands? 2118 01:33:48,657 --> 01:33:50,423 You Gonna push me over with your Walker? 2119 01:33:50,425 --> 01:33:52,025 I'm impressed you caught up to me. 2120 01:33:52,027 --> 01:33:53,326 You probably haven't run that fast 2121 01:33:53,328 --> 01:33:54,794 since you played stickball in the field 2122 01:33:54,796 --> 01:33:56,696 behind old pop Wiggleby's sweet shop. 2123 01:33:57,598 --> 01:33:59,366 Freeze, bitch. Oh, thank God. 2124 01:33:59,368 --> 01:34:01,935 Look who got off the motherfucking leash. 2125 01:34:01,937 --> 01:34:03,370 Now who's the damsel in distress? Fuck! 2126 01:34:03,372 --> 01:34:05,772 Well, I guess it's him. 2127 01:34:05,774 --> 01:34:06,940 I don't have a clean shot, Schmidt. 2128 01:34:06,942 --> 01:34:08,208 Then don't take the shot! 2129 01:34:08,210 --> 01:34:10,276 Maybe I want to take a dirty shot. 2130 01:34:10,278 --> 01:34:12,412 Kind of like the dirty shot you took on my daughter. 2131 01:34:12,414 --> 01:34:15,649 I didn't take a dirty shot on your daughter, okay? 2132 01:34:15,651 --> 01:34:18,385 We talked a lot, and we care about each other. 2133 01:34:18,387 --> 01:34:20,053 All the good qualities you have, 2134 01:34:20,055 --> 01:34:21,988 I can feel inside of Maya. 2135 01:34:21,990 --> 01:34:23,223 I'm Gonna take the shot. 2136 01:34:23,225 --> 01:34:24,924 Don't take the shot. 2137 01:34:24,926 --> 01:34:26,192 I can shoot right through your shoulder, 2138 01:34:26,194 --> 01:34:27,794 hit the bitch right in the chest. 2139 01:34:27,796 --> 01:34:29,629 Don't take the shot. I'm taking the shot. 2140 01:34:29,631 --> 01:34:30,864 I'll take the fucking shot. 2141 01:34:30,866 --> 01:34:32,465 Nobody take the shot before me. 2142 01:34:32,467 --> 01:34:34,300 How about we take it at the same time? No one take a shot. 2143 01:34:34,302 --> 01:34:35,902 Wait, wait, wait, wait! 2144 01:34:38,973 --> 01:34:41,041 Shit! You have the right to remain silent... 2145 01:34:41,043 --> 01:34:42,375 No, no, no, I got this. 2146 01:34:42,377 --> 01:34:44,144 You go handle the ghost. He's on the roof. 2147 01:34:44,146 --> 01:34:45,712 I'm on it. I got it. 2148 01:34:45,714 --> 01:34:47,814 - What you looking at? - Oh! 2149 01:34:47,816 --> 01:34:49,315 Good job on the cuffs, baby girl. 2150 01:34:57,392 --> 01:34:59,092 So many fucking stairs. 2151 01:35:04,799 --> 01:35:07,067 It's me! It's me! Shit. 2152 01:35:07,069 --> 01:35:08,101 You made it, dude. Did you get Mercedes? 2153 01:35:08,903 --> 01:35:10,403 Yeah. All by myself. 2154 01:35:10,405 --> 01:35:12,138 Really? 2155 01:35:12,140 --> 01:35:14,741 Mainly by myself. Okay. 2156 01:35:14,743 --> 01:35:16,676 And, dude, you were right, that lambo... 2157 01:35:16,678 --> 01:35:18,078 Just can't hear that right now. 2158 01:35:18,080 --> 01:35:19,612 It's a shitty-made car. It's not good. 2159 01:35:19,614 --> 01:35:20,880 Hey, let's go. We got to go. 2160 01:35:20,882 --> 01:35:21,715 How many bullets you got left? 2161 01:35:22,550 --> 01:35:24,350 None. 2162 01:35:24,352 --> 01:35:25,218 Act like you have bullets, then. 2163 01:35:36,697 --> 01:35:38,465 We gotta go! 2164 01:35:38,467 --> 01:35:39,499 We have to wait for pudding! 2165 01:35:46,440 --> 01:35:49,142 Jenko! 2166 01:36:01,122 --> 01:36:02,188 Go, go! 2167 01:36:05,560 --> 01:36:07,227 Here, take this. Okay. 2168 01:36:07,229 --> 01:36:08,328 I tried to take a bullet for you, man. 2169 01:36:08,330 --> 01:36:09,696 Yeah. But you didn't. 2170 01:36:09,698 --> 01:36:11,731 But I tried. It's the thought that matters. 2171 01:36:11,733 --> 01:36:12,899 No, it's not the thought that counts. 2172 01:36:12,901 --> 01:36:14,033 It's fucking taking the bullet. 2173 01:36:18,372 --> 01:36:19,506 Cover me. I'm Gonna go long. 2174 01:36:20,141 --> 01:36:21,241 Okay. 2175 01:36:45,332 --> 01:36:48,034 Bye-bye, Terminator! 2176 01:37:01,949 --> 01:37:03,583 Hey! Get off of my chopper! 2177 01:37:04,618 --> 01:37:06,186 Can you shake him off? 2178 01:37:06,188 --> 01:37:08,555 I'm coming for you, motherfucker! 2179 01:37:08,557 --> 01:37:09,989 Come on, just wiggle the stick back and forth! 2180 01:37:12,026 --> 01:37:13,459 He's only got one arm! 2181 01:37:13,461 --> 01:37:15,295 I only need one arm to punch you in the dick. 2182 01:37:16,964 --> 01:37:18,164 Shake him off! Shake him off! 2183 01:37:18,866 --> 01:37:20,366 Don't be a pussy! 2184 01:37:52,366 --> 01:37:53,933 Holy shit! 2185 01:37:53,935 --> 01:37:55,835 I did it! 2186 01:37:55,837 --> 01:37:57,604 I look so fucking badass! 2187 01:37:57,606 --> 01:37:58,705 Oh, my God, you flew! 2188 01:37:58,707 --> 01:37:59,772 This is crazy! 2189 01:37:59,774 --> 01:38:00,974 You made the leap, man! 2190 01:38:00,976 --> 01:38:02,342 Why'd you do that? 2191 01:38:02,344 --> 01:38:04,010 'Cause you did it! 2192 01:38:04,012 --> 01:38:05,411 I couldn't leave you hanging, man! 2193 01:38:05,413 --> 01:38:06,746 What are you talking about? I was fine. I had it. 2194 01:38:06,748 --> 01:38:07,580 You weren't... 2195 01:38:15,090 --> 01:38:17,023 I got you! Shit! Schmidt! 2196 01:38:17,025 --> 01:38:18,191 I got you! 2197 01:38:18,193 --> 01:38:19,392 You saved my life! 2198 01:38:31,639 --> 01:38:33,907 I just realized something. 2199 01:38:33,909 --> 01:38:35,842 You don't hold me down, man. 2200 01:38:35,844 --> 01:38:37,076 You lift me up. 2201 01:38:37,078 --> 01:38:39,579 Literally and figuratively. 2202 01:38:39,581 --> 01:38:40,580 Yeah, I know. I meant both. 2203 01:38:41,482 --> 01:38:43,349 You don't drag me down, either, man. 2204 01:38:43,351 --> 01:38:44,984 I mean, except right now. 2205 01:38:44,986 --> 01:38:47,420 You're dragging me down. You're really heavy. 2206 01:38:47,422 --> 01:38:49,455 Hey, listen, there's a grenade in my shorts. 2207 01:38:49,457 --> 01:38:50,690 Can you reach it? 2208 01:38:50,692 --> 01:38:52,358 You gotta go in from underneath. 2209 01:38:52,360 --> 01:38:53,459 Oh, shit! 2210 01:38:57,064 --> 01:38:58,498 Is that it? That's my dick. 2211 01:38:58,500 --> 01:38:59,699 What about that? 2212 01:38:59,701 --> 01:39:00,433 That's my dick also. 2213 01:39:02,504 --> 01:39:04,337 Why is it hard? 2214 01:39:04,339 --> 01:39:06,406 I have so much adrenaline right now! 2215 01:39:06,408 --> 01:39:08,141 Is that it? You're tickling me. 2216 01:39:08,143 --> 01:39:09,409 I can't find it! 2217 01:39:09,411 --> 01:39:10,276 That's it! Grab it! 2218 01:39:12,046 --> 01:39:13,212 Yes! 2219 01:39:13,214 --> 01:39:14,914 No, I got it in my mouth. 2220 01:39:14,916 --> 01:39:16,215 Say something cool when you throw it! 2221 01:39:16,217 --> 01:39:18,184 One, two, three! 2222 01:39:20,054 --> 01:39:22,221 Something cool! 2223 01:39:27,628 --> 01:39:28,428 They're gone! 2224 01:39:29,930 --> 01:39:31,564 Oh, I feel so... 2225 01:39:37,871 --> 01:39:39,138 Whoo-hoo! 2226 01:40:06,567 --> 01:40:07,867 We did it! 2227 01:40:07,869 --> 01:40:09,035 Dude, fuck, I'm... Ow! 2228 01:40:09,037 --> 01:40:11,070 Oh! Shit, sorry. 2229 01:40:11,072 --> 01:40:12,405 Dude, I miss you so much, man. 2230 01:40:12,407 --> 01:40:13,906 I miss you, too. 2231 01:40:13,908 --> 01:40:15,808 You were like a tiny little flower seed 2232 01:40:15,810 --> 01:40:18,411 and I was clenching you in my fist. 2233 01:40:18,413 --> 01:40:20,880 But a flower, it can't grow in a fist. 2234 01:40:20,882 --> 01:40:24,217 A little seed needs to fly away free and find its soil. 2235 01:40:24,219 --> 01:40:27,253 Yeah, I know. I tried to soil myself and, dude, I didn't like it. 2236 01:40:27,255 --> 01:40:29,489 I wanted a relationship without friction. 2237 01:40:29,491 --> 01:40:31,591 Dude, you need friction to create fire. 2238 01:40:31,593 --> 01:40:34,360 And that's what we have, we have fire. 2239 01:40:34,362 --> 01:40:36,596 Dude, I'm in. I'm all in. 2240 01:40:36,598 --> 01:40:38,097 Thank God. 2241 01:40:38,099 --> 01:40:40,933 Dude, this is what I've always wanted. Just me and you, buddy. 2242 01:40:40,935 --> 01:40:42,335 I love you. 2243 01:40:42,337 --> 01:40:43,703 Me, too, man. I love you, man. 2244 01:40:46,640 --> 01:40:48,441 You know what? 2245 01:40:48,443 --> 01:40:49,575 That's who he should be with, man. 2246 01:40:51,478 --> 01:40:53,746 What? 2247 01:40:53,748 --> 01:40:55,715 Hey, what'd you say when you threw the grenade up there? 2248 01:40:55,717 --> 01:40:56,883 I said, "something cool." 2249 01:40:56,885 --> 01:40:58,384 What did you say? 2250 01:40:58,386 --> 01:41:00,153 It was "something cool." No, but what'd you say? 2251 01:41:00,155 --> 01:41:01,421 Yeah, I know. I said, "something cool." 2252 01:41:04,491 --> 01:41:07,226 I didn't expect spring break to be this stinky. 2253 01:41:07,228 --> 01:41:09,362 It's pretty gross. 2254 01:41:09,364 --> 01:41:12,065 Man, we're getting too old for this shit. 2255 01:41:12,067 --> 01:41:14,667 We started off too old for this shit. 2256 01:41:14,669 --> 01:41:16,669 You ain't lying about that. 2257 01:41:19,273 --> 01:41:23,176 Dude, we're even about the arm thing, okay? Right? 2258 01:41:23,178 --> 01:41:24,277 What? What do you want to do? 2259 01:41:24,279 --> 01:41:25,545 Don't move. Fuck. All right. 2260 01:41:25,547 --> 01:41:27,346 Just get it over with, all right? Don't move. 2261 01:41:27,348 --> 01:41:28,781 One... Just graze my arm. 2262 01:41:28,783 --> 01:41:30,416 I don't want you to hit the bone. ...Two, 2263 01:41:30,418 --> 01:41:32,151 three. 2264 01:41:32,153 --> 01:41:34,120 Fuck! Fuck! Shit! 2265 01:41:34,122 --> 01:41:35,688 Oh, my God, are you all right? Shit! 2266 01:41:35,690 --> 01:41:37,723 Why, man? Why am I always getting hurt around you? 2267 01:41:37,725 --> 01:41:38,825 - Jenko, what are you doing? - Oh, fuck you. 2268 01:41:38,827 --> 01:41:40,693 Fuck you, Schmidt. Stop dicking around. 2269 01:41:40,695 --> 01:41:42,962 Hey, cap. Congratulations, you two. 2270 01:41:42,964 --> 01:41:45,731 You managed to un-fuck up the situation you originally fucked up. 2271 01:41:45,733 --> 01:41:47,233 Thanks. 2272 01:41:47,235 --> 01:41:48,601 I wish you can un-fuck my daughter, 2273 01:41:48,603 --> 01:41:50,470 but I'm Gonna let that be the past. 2274 01:41:50,472 --> 01:41:52,939 Now, for your next mission, 2275 01:41:52,941 --> 01:41:56,008 you two sons of bitches are going to medical school. 2276 01:41:56,010 --> 01:41:57,477 What? 2277 01:42:07,588 --> 01:42:09,755 This time, foreign exchange students. 2278 01:42:09,757 --> 01:42:10,823 Awesome. Yes! 2279 01:42:10,825 --> 01:42:11,691 In Russia. 2280 01:42:12,192 --> 01:42:13,226 What? 2281 01:42:15,129 --> 01:42:16,229 Do Svidanya. 2282 01:42:16,231 --> 01:42:17,497 Vodka soda. 2283 01:42:22,736 --> 01:42:25,238 Next assignment. A semester at sea. 2284 01:42:38,185 --> 01:42:41,487 You two sons of bitches are going to culinary school. 2285 01:42:41,489 --> 01:42:42,822 There's a microchip in this empanada. 2286 01:42:42,824 --> 01:42:44,857 Old family recipe. 2287 01:42:44,859 --> 01:42:46,225 Best to keep it a secret. 2288 01:42:48,428 --> 01:42:49,862 Oh, shit! 2289 01:43:00,174 --> 01:43:01,841 New assignment... 2290 01:43:01,843 --> 01:43:03,376 Cap, does Schmidt look any different to you? 2291 01:43:04,077 --> 01:43:05,778 No. That's Schmidt. 2292 01:43:05,780 --> 01:43:07,280 I don't know what you're talking about, man. 2293 01:43:07,282 --> 01:43:08,381 He look exactly the same to me. 2294 01:43:08,383 --> 01:43:09,949 I got new glasses. 2295 01:43:09,951 --> 01:43:12,618 Yeah, man, he just got some new glasses, man. God damn. 2296 01:43:12,620 --> 01:43:13,653 No one's Gonna fucking notice. 2297 01:43:16,089 --> 01:43:17,523 Let's do this, Schmidt. 2298 01:43:17,525 --> 01:43:20,526 Yeah. Just like we always do, Jenkins. 2299 01:43:20,528 --> 01:43:22,261 It's Jenko. Sorry. 2300 01:43:30,537 --> 01:43:33,005 I'm really, really glad you're back, Schmidt. 2301 01:43:33,007 --> 01:43:34,740 What are you talking about? What contract dispute? 2302 01:43:34,742 --> 01:43:36,876 I've been here the whole time. 2303 01:43:36,878 --> 01:43:37,877 Man, shut the fuck up. 2304 01:43:37,879 --> 01:43:39,445 How about a flight academy? 2305 01:43:50,557 --> 01:43:53,793 Undercover just got a whole lot sexier. 2306 01:44:02,536 --> 01:44:03,836 You're jump street, right? 2307 01:44:03,838 --> 01:44:05,004 Yeah. How the fuck do you know that? 2308 01:44:05,572 --> 01:44:07,106 I'm booker. 2309 01:44:07,108 --> 01:44:08,608 Oh, shit. Man, you're a legend. 2310 01:44:15,082 --> 01:44:15,848 Traffic school! 2311 01:44:16,817 --> 01:44:17,850 Military school. 2312 01:44:18,852 --> 01:44:19,752 Scuba class. 2313 01:44:20,754 --> 01:44:21,787 Dance academy. 2314 01:44:21,789 --> 01:44:23,256 Yes. 2315 01:44:23,258 --> 01:44:26,325 Finally something I'm amazing at. 2316 01:44:26,327 --> 01:44:29,328 ¶ Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall 2317 01:44:30,163 --> 01:44:31,497 ¶ you'll find you need us 2318 01:44:31,499 --> 01:44:33,566 ¶ 'cause there's no one else to call 2319 01:44:33,568 --> 01:44:36,636 You sons of bitches is Gonna be in a video game. 2320 01:44:37,904 --> 01:44:39,105 Let's blow shit up. 2321 01:44:39,107 --> 01:44:40,740 Jump street style. 2322 01:44:40,742 --> 01:44:42,508 ¶ We out of control all over the place 2323 01:44:42,510 --> 01:44:44,510 ¶ and somebody gotta put it to a stop, quick 2324 01:44:44,512 --> 01:44:46,512 ¶ out on the road all up in your face 2325 01:44:46,514 --> 01:44:49,382 Get ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfuckers. 2326 01:44:49,384 --> 01:44:52,018 It's inking in my mouth! 2327 01:44:52,020 --> 01:44:52,852 Don't fuck my daughter. 2328 01:44:54,688 --> 01:44:55,521 ¶ ¶ 2329 01:44:59,494 --> 01:45:02,662 ¶ They're the jump street and 'bout to jump up in your ass 2330 01:45:02,664 --> 01:45:05,965 ¶ this the special unit that's designed to keep it quiet 2331 01:45:05,967 --> 01:45:09,969 ¶ we infiltrate the dealers and we find the damn suppliers 2332 01:45:09,971 --> 01:45:13,205 ¶ don't need permission to decide what you believe 2333 01:45:13,207 --> 01:45:16,042 ¶ say jump, jumping down on jump street 2334 01:45:16,044 --> 01:45:17,610 all right, new assignment. 2335 01:45:18,178 --> 01:45:19,779 Six hours of makeup? 2336 01:45:20,947 --> 01:45:22,348 We're getting too old for this shit. 2337 01:45:22,350 --> 01:45:23,316 Nice. 2338 01:45:23,817 --> 01:45:25,284 ¶ ¶ 2339 01:45:25,286 --> 01:45:26,652 ¶ wait, we just here trying to find us 2340 01:45:26,654 --> 01:45:28,354 ¶ Schmidt went lookin', till he found love 2341 01:45:28,356 --> 01:45:30,222 ¶ got his life sweet, bon appetit 2342 01:45:30,224 --> 01:45:31,924 ¶ spring break, bitch, throw a party on the beach 2343 01:45:31,926 --> 01:45:33,693 ¶ shit did change, but all that means 2344 01:45:33,695 --> 01:45:34,994 ¶ is that your real friends don't ever leave 2345 01:45:35,796 --> 01:45:37,396 ¶ will it ever be complete? 2346 01:45:37,398 --> 01:45:38,998 ¶ Jump street won't ever cease 2347 01:45:39,000 --> 01:45:40,800 ¶ ever cease ever cease 2348 01:45:40,802 --> 01:45:42,668 ¶ ever cease ever cease 2349 01:45:42,670 --> 01:45:44,470 ¶ ever cease ever cease 2350 01:45:44,472 --> 01:45:45,971 ¶ ever cease ever cease 2351 01:45:45,973 --> 01:45:47,807 ¶ ever cease ever cease 2352 01:45:47,809 --> 01:45:49,008 ¶ ever cease ever cease ¶ 2353 01:45:52,646 --> 01:45:54,447 Something cool! 2354 01:46:02,756 --> 01:46:04,523 ¶ ¶ 2355 01:46:04,525 --> 01:46:07,360 ¶ we're Gonna live forever 2356 01:46:10,597 --> 01:46:13,799 ¶ we're Gonna live forever 2357 01:46:13,801 --> 01:46:16,635 ¶ we're Gonna live for we're Gonna live for 2358 01:46:16,637 --> 01:46:19,638 ¶ we're Gonna live for we're Gonna live for 2359 01:46:19,640 --> 01:46:22,108 ¶ we're Gonna live for we're Gonna live for 2360 01:46:25,746 --> 01:46:29,982 ¶ yeah, me and my homie this is aye 2361 01:46:29,984 --> 01:46:32,985 ¶ and it's going down like a fire drill 2362 01:46:32,987 --> 01:46:35,988 ¶ came a long way, now we part here 2363 01:46:35,990 --> 01:46:38,791 ¶ and we still running shit, call it diarrhea 2364 01:46:38,793 --> 01:46:40,526 ¶ coming up together like them good fellas 2365 01:46:40,528 --> 01:46:41,827 ¶ heart through the loop 2366 01:46:41,829 --> 01:46:43,562 ¶ holding down, keep it real in these streets 2367 01:46:43,564 --> 01:46:45,030 ¶ back to the roof 2368 01:46:45,032 --> 01:46:47,800 ¶ anywhere, anytime I got your back like a spine 2369 01:46:47,802 --> 01:46:51,070 ¶ my homies never left behind my whole team get to shine 2370 01:46:51,072 --> 01:46:54,039 ¶ the world has opened up that's why we're blowing up 2371 01:46:54,041 --> 01:46:56,976 ¶ that's why we rolling up drinking till we throw up 2372 01:46:56,978 --> 01:47:00,112 ¶ the way we get this cheddar, there ain't nobody better 2373 01:47:00,114 --> 01:47:03,382 ¶ write our names in the sky 'cause we Gonna live forever 2374 01:47:03,384 --> 01:47:04,817 ¶ live forever, man 2375 01:47:04,819 --> 01:47:07,686 ¶ we're Gonna live forever 2376 01:47:10,791 --> 01:47:14,493 ¶ we're Gonna live forever 2377 01:47:14,495 --> 01:47:16,962 ¶ we're Gonna live for we're Gonna live for 2378 01:47:16,964 --> 01:47:19,965 ¶ we're Gonna live for we're Gonna live for 2379 01:47:19,967 --> 01:47:22,568 ¶ we're Gonna live for we're Gonna live for 2380 01:47:27,374 --> 01:47:30,509 ¶ life of the party, patron and Bacardi 2381 01:47:30,511 --> 01:47:33,078 ¶ get faded, get sloppy, and all up in that chick's body 2382 01:47:33,080 --> 01:47:34,780 ¶ came up with the people that's real 2383 01:47:34,782 --> 01:47:36,015 ¶ ticket to the meal 2384 01:47:36,017 --> 01:47:37,683 ¶ now like it, we all together 2385 01:47:37,685 --> 01:47:39,218 ¶ that's just how it is 2386 01:47:39,220 --> 01:47:40,920 ¶ I'm throwed like a strike out 2387 01:47:40,922 --> 01:47:42,254 ¶ shine brighter than a lighthouse 2388 01:47:42,256 --> 01:47:43,656 ¶ bigger than the white house 2389 01:47:43,658 --> 01:47:45,157 ¶ go against my team, get wiped out 2390 01:47:45,159 --> 01:47:46,559 ¶ got them choppers like troopers 2391 01:47:46,561 --> 01:47:48,260 ¶ don't make me split your head 2392 01:47:48,262 --> 01:47:50,930 ¶ my lil' homie left up here, he'll smoke ya like a cig 2393 01:47:52,966 --> 01:47:55,835 ¶ we're Gonna live forever 2394 01:47:59,039 --> 01:48:02,541 ¶ we're Gonna live forever 2395 01:48:02,543 --> 01:48:05,177 ¶ we're Gonna live for we're Gonna live for 2396 01:48:05,179 --> 01:48:08,147 ¶ we're Gonna live for we're Gonna live for 2397 01:48:08,149 --> 01:48:10,850 ¶ we're Gonna live for we're Gonna live for 2398 01:48:41,481 --> 01:48:44,550 ¶ we're Gonna live forever 2399 01:48:47,454 --> 01:48:50,623 ¶ we're Gonna live forever 2400 01:48:50,625 --> 01:48:53,659 ¶ we're Gonna live for we're Gonna live for 2401 01:48:53,661 --> 01:48:56,462 ¶ we're Gonna live for we're Gonna live for 2402 01:48:56,464 --> 01:48:58,998 ¶ we're Gonna live forever 2403 01:49:02,536 --> 01:49:06,205 ¶ we're Gonna live forever 2404 01:49:06,207 --> 01:49:07,573 ¶ yeah 2405 01:49:09,342 --> 01:49:10,242 ¶ forever ¶ 2406 01:51:37,557 --> 01:51:38,724 Eric. 2407 01:51:40,026 --> 01:51:41,760 Eric, are you awake? 2408 01:51:43,196 --> 01:51:44,129 No. 2409 01:51:45,331 --> 01:51:46,331 I'm late. 175580