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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:42,541 --> 00:00:46,832 For one thousand centuries... 2 00:00:47,291 --> 00:00:51,999 the Falafel family has ruled the deserts with one thing: 3 00:00:52,083 --> 00:00:53,749 Speed. 4 00:00:54,041 --> 00:00:58,332 We have the fastest camels and the fastest horses. 5 00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:01,290 Now, due to... 6 00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:04,999 you know what... 7 00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:09,749 we have the fastest planes... 8 00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:13,332 the fastest boats and the fastest cars. 9 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:15,874 Except for one: yours. 10 00:01:16,416 --> 00:01:21,040 Last year I sent you to America for one simple task. 11 00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:22,832 So simple. 12 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:27,249 To emblazon the Falafel name as the fastest in the world 13 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:31,124 by winning the Cannonball Run. 14 00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:34,749 And you... failed. 15 00:01:36,666 --> 00:01:39,874 - A thousand thanks. - But Lion of the deserts... 16 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,249 King of Kings... 17 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:43,791 Pop. 18 00:01:43,792 --> 00:01:48,165 No excuses, you son of my ugliest wife. 19 00:01:51,416 --> 00:01:53,665 A thousand thanks. 20 00:01:58,625 --> 00:02:03,624 How come you have a blond, blue-eyed slave? 21 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:09,040 He's an actor. Hasn't had a series in seven years. 22 00:02:09,125 --> 00:02:11,665 Nine. 23 00:02:14,791 --> 00:02:18,040 - Two thousand thanks. - I know I didn't win, Pop. 24 00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:21,249 I was sick. My ulcer... 25 00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:25,249 I order you back to America... 26 00:02:25,666 --> 00:02:28,624 to win the Cannonball Run. 27 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:31,749 I give you one last chance, because... 28 00:02:32,541 --> 00:02:35,165 you are my only son with a driver's licence. 29 00:02:35,291 --> 00:02:38,478 But Pop, there is no Cannonball Run this year. 30 00:02:38,479 --> 00:02:39,540 So? 31 00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:45,082 - Buy one. - Of course. 32 00:03:06,291 --> 00:03:08,144 Couple of wise guys behind us. 33 00:03:08,145 --> 00:03:10,749 Slow down. Let's see how ballsy they are. 34 00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:15,461 Wow. What a couple of great-looking chicks. 35 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:18,249 - So much for boredom. - Let's nail 'em. 36 00:04:18,666 --> 00:04:21,749 - Wise broads. - They can't outrun the radio. 37 00:04:21,791 --> 00:04:23,416 Charlie, you got one heading your way. 38 00:04:23,417 --> 00:04:24,999 You'll see it in about three minutes. 39 00:04:25,041 --> 00:04:28,999 You're three minutes are up. Man, a couple of great-looking chicks. 40 00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:44,062 Road's straight as an arrow. I can see 41 00:04:44,063 --> 00:04:45,874 for five miles. Wonder where they are? 42 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,383 Don't panic. Just watch the side roads 43 00:04:48,384 --> 00:04:50,582 for dust. No way they can shake us. 44 00:04:59,375 --> 00:05:01,383 You heard me? I think we lost 'em. 45 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,499 How can you lose a white Lamborghini 46 00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:06,406 with two chicks in the middle of nowhere? 47 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:09,165 What is this? A quiz? We lost 'em, okay? 48 00:05:09,291 --> 00:05:12,749 Haha. I just found 'em, son. This here's the end of the hunt. 49 00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:14,582 Good luck, buddy. 50 00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:20,809 Figure, they gotta be between us. Just 51 00:05:20,810 --> 00:05:22,582 pull out and block the damn road. 52 00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:26,832 You got any other bright ideas? 53 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,082 I'm eastbound in pursuit of a white Lamborghini. 54 00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:52,832 This is not a recording. 55 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,874 Hey, thanks for the hose job. 56 00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:36,255 If I tell you boys something, you won't 57 00:06:36,256 --> 00:06:37,790 think I've been drinking, will ya? 58 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,488 The white Lamborghini is vanished, but there's 59 00:06:40,489 --> 00:06:42,499 a red one behind me honking its horn. 60 00:06:42,625 --> 00:06:45,021 Correction. It's passing me, and it's 61 00:06:45,022 --> 00:06:47,290 got two great-looking chicks in it. 62 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:11,500 You know Marcie, we've got this routine down. 63 00:07:11,501 --> 00:07:13,749 Yeah, I think we're ready for the Cannonball. 64 00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:16,624 Oh yeah, I think so. How far is Redondo Beach? 65 00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:19,749 - 150 miles. - An hour flat. 66 00:07:20,041 --> 00:07:22,582 What are we waiting for? Let's go. 67 00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:56,832 Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to the fifth annual Madera air show. 68 00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:59,387 The greatest, most sensational gathering 69 00:07:59,388 --> 00:08:01,790 of stunt pilots and daredevils in the US. 70 00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:05,749 Displays of flying and courage like you've never seen before... 71 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,832 concluding with the most death-defying stunt of them all: 72 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:12,582 The human Bomb. So grab your kids, grab your hats. 73 00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:15,624 The festivities will begin shortly. 74 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:24,165 Are you sure this is a good idea, J.J? 75 00:08:25,375 --> 00:08:27,540 A good idea? 76 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:29,552 We're gonna get so rich. 77 00:08:29,554 --> 00:08:30,583 - Rich? - Rich. 78 00:08:30,791 --> 00:08:32,495 We're gonna split everything 50/50 79 00:08:32,496 --> 00:08:34,182 right down the middle. We're partners. 80 00:08:34,183 --> 00:08:35,183 Partners? 81 00:08:35,184 --> 00:08:36,708 You bet. We're friends, aren't we? 82 00:08:36,709 --> 00:08:37,749 Partners and friends. 83 00:08:37,791 --> 00:08:39,085 And we're gonna be rich. 84 00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:41,374 - Rich partners and friends. - That's right. 85 00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:45,582 - What if something goes wrong? - What could go wrong? 86 00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:50,753 We've got the ace dive bomber pilot from World War II. 87 00:08:50,754 --> 00:08:51,760 Dive bomber? 88 00:08:51,762 --> 00:08:54,291 Oh yeah. He'll let you go right out of the plane... 89 00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,942 with this. And you'll go right through that target. 90 00:08:56,944 --> 00:08:58,166 - Target? - Right through... 91 00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:00,915 - and into a net, strong net... - Net? 92 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:03,090 And if you go through the net, then you'll 93 00:09:03,091 --> 00:09:04,790 land in some hay. I mean, so much hay 94 00:09:04,916 --> 00:09:07,973 you could feed all the cattle in Texas. 95 00:09:07,974 --> 00:09:09,024 What am I worried about? 96 00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:11,932 - Nothing. Are you crazy? - I'm so glad you're laughing. 97 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:16,665 He can't miss. He can't miss. I bless you. You will not miss. 98 00:09:16,791 --> 00:09:18,902 J.J., I'm still scared. 99 00:09:18,904 --> 00:09:20,041 - You're still scared? - Yeah. 100 00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:24,415 Well, if you're scared, you could always have "him" do it. 101 00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:28,665 "Him" doesn't come unless there's grave danger to human life. 102 00:09:29,666 --> 00:09:31,332 Right... 103 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,315 You oughta call "him". 104 00:09:38,583 --> 00:09:40,374 Hello, this is Jack Smith. 105 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:43,070 We've brought our cameras to record for our 106 00:09:43,071 --> 00:09:45,165 30 million viewers a vintage dive bomber, 107 00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:49,290 flying on a simulated attack run, drop a human bomb. 108 00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:52,749 A man encased in steel, risking life and limb, 109 00:09:52,875 --> 00:09:55,915 hurtling to the ground at 140 miles per hour. 110 00:09:56,041 --> 00:09:58,915 Now, this is a man of such great courage 111 00:09:59,041 --> 00:10:01,332 that he's destined to become a household name. 112 00:10:01,541 --> 00:10:04,165 He'll be besieged for autographs, 113 00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:07,499 his picture will be on magazine covers all over the world. 114 00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:10,665 Millions of adoring women will be at his feet. 115 00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:13,582 He's bound to become a national celebrity. 116 00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:20,290 Oh, shit... 117 00:10:22,791 --> 00:10:26,665 - J.J. Long time no see. - Nice to see you, Captain Chaos. 118 00:10:27,291 --> 00:10:29,753 Listen, I'd like to take your place in the bomb. 119 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,249 Have no fear. "Him" is here. 120 00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:33,264 - It'd make me very happy. - You want it? 121 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,375 - Yes. - You got it. 122 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:35,802 Thank you. 123 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,750 - Suck in. - Okay. 124 00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:39,999 What a guy. 125 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,540 Give me a D, give me a D, give me a D-E-U, 126 00:10:51,625 --> 00:10:55,040 give me a T, give me a T, T-S-C-H. 127 00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:58,415 Yea, Deutschland. Listen... 128 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:01,624 - You think you might like a beer? - Hey. 129 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,575 - Hey. - Deutschland, Deutschland... 130 00:11:04,577 --> 00:11:06,041 I want outta here. 131 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,999 You asked for it. 132 00:11:18,666 --> 00:11:21,124 Here he comes, folks... Here he is... 133 00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:22,544 One of the most dangerous stunts 134 00:11:22,545 --> 00:11:24,040 we've ever had performed in Madera. 135 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,389 On his final approach... This has to 136 00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:31,124 be perfect the first time around. 137 00:11:58,750 --> 00:12:01,165 That's my partner. What a team. 138 00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:03,206 The crash trucks are on their way. We'll 139 00:12:03,207 --> 00:12:04,749 have word on his condition in a minute. 140 00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:07,624 What a pilot. What a pilot. Are you okay? 141 00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:11,249 Oh my goodness, did you see that? Wasn't that fantastic? 142 00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:12,768 I'm so terrifically happy... 143 00:12:12,769 --> 00:12:14,374 Oh, shut up and get me outta here. 144 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,187 Did you hear the crowd? We were terrific. 145 00:12:16,188 --> 00:12:17,188 Get me out. 146 00:12:17,189 --> 00:12:18,432 I can just see us on People 147 00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:20,624 magazine. We're gonna be a big hit. 148 00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:23,332 J.J., you seem a little shorter. 149 00:12:23,791 --> 00:12:26,572 J.J., are you okay? You know something? I figured it out. 150 00:12:26,573 --> 00:12:27,573 Yeah? 151 00:12:27,583 --> 00:12:29,062 If we do this ten times a day... 152 00:12:29,064 --> 00:12:30,542 - Yeah? - By the end of the year 153 00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,915 we're gonna be billionaires. 154 00:12:33,437 --> 00:12:34,437 What is that? 155 00:12:34,438 --> 00:12:36,249 Oh don't worry about that. It's the Cannonball Race. 156 00:12:36,291 --> 00:12:38,359 It's on again. A million dollars' the prize. 157 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,290 Don't worry. We're gonna be billionaires. 158 00:12:43,157 --> 00:12:44,157 What did I say? 159 00:12:44,158 --> 00:12:46,665 You want me to do this ten times a day? 160 00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,749 Nine? 161 00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:52,374 What a grouch. 162 00:13:00,666 --> 00:13:04,499 I asked you to come here out of respect for the family. 163 00:13:05,375 --> 00:13:08,415 In the past, the Cannelloni family 164 00:13:08,541 --> 00:13:13,582 was the richest and most powerful family of all the families. 165 00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:18,915 We controlled drugs, prostitution, extortion, 166 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:23,249 prostitution, gambling... 167 00:13:23,583 --> 00:13:26,415 You said "prostitution" twice. 168 00:13:26,541 --> 00:13:29,290 Well, I like it. And now... 169 00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:33,999 the Rigatonis, the Tortellinis, the Fettucinis... 170 00:13:34,583 --> 00:13:38,249 and even the Raviolis are bigger than we are. 171 00:13:39,666 --> 00:13:40,874 And why? 172 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:43,643 High interest rates? 173 00:13:43,645 --> 00:13:47,500 - Acid rain? - Japanese imports? 174 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,249 None of the above. 175 00:13:56,041 --> 00:13:58,915 No... No... No. 176 00:13:59,125 --> 00:14:01,040 You I'm not even gonna answer. 177 00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:03,722 Gee boss, if I knew there was gonna 178 00:14:03,723 --> 00:14:05,624 be a test I would have studied. 179 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:09,874 When I passed on the powers of the Don... 180 00:14:10,375 --> 00:14:12,499 to my son Don, 181 00:14:12,666 --> 00:14:15,540 making him Don Don, 182 00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:17,874 I had high hopes for him. 183 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:22,832 And what has he done? He has only brought us disgrace... 184 00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:25,249 and shame. 185 00:14:27,541 --> 00:14:29,582 Wait a minute... 186 00:14:32,041 --> 00:14:34,540 This cat is dead. 187 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,082 Get me a new cat. 188 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,249 Oh God... 189 00:14:44,875 --> 00:14:47,499 The cat could have been a contender. 190 00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:50,082 I should have thought... Thank you. 191 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,624 It's a tabby. Very nice. 192 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,790 It's a boy. 193 00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:07,999 Boys, go to Vegas. Lean on Don. 194 00:15:09,166 --> 00:15:10,187 Don Don. 195 00:15:10,188 --> 00:15:13,249 We're here to straighten out your affairs. 196 00:15:13,916 --> 00:15:16,540 What are your assets? 197 00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:21,665 Well, I'm good-natured and I dress well. And some people think... 198 00:15:24,041 --> 00:15:27,790 - What about your liabilities? - Well, there is... 199 00:15:27,916 --> 00:15:30,249 one small liability. 200 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:31,582 What? 201 00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:34,874 Well... I could use a tummy tuck. 202 00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:37,665 A tummy tuck? A tummy tuck? 203 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:40,943 I'll kill him... I'll kill him. 204 00:15:40,945 --> 00:15:42,666 - Calm yourself. - I'll kill him. 205 00:15:43,750 --> 00:15:47,540 Don Don, do you have any outstanding markers? 206 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,999 - Look in the in-box. - Look in the in-box. 207 00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:57,749 30,000... It's not too outstanding, but it's a start. 208 00:15:59,916 --> 00:16:03,874 - Fenderbaum? - Fenderbaum. 209 00:16:07,416 --> 00:16:10,455 You better call Jim and tell him where his car is. 210 00:16:10,456 --> 00:16:12,749 Me? I called last time. You call Jim. 211 00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:20,999 - Well, hi there. - Hi. Could I help you girls? 212 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:25,249 - This thing's stuck. - Oh yeah. Yeah. 213 00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:29,332 - Take a hike, Mike. - Yeah, get lost. 214 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,125 What a jerk. 215 00:16:35,126 --> 00:16:38,499 Okay. What are we gonna do? Marcie, hey. 216 00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:42,499 Hey, honey. Right here, yeah. Come on here, baby. 217 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,665 Hi, sugar. 218 00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:50,790 - You girls all right? - Could be. 219 00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:53,540 This is a beauty. Doesn't sound stock. 220 00:16:53,750 --> 00:16:57,999 It isn't. I took the six out and shoe-horned in a 383 hemi. 221 00:16:58,041 --> 00:17:01,499 - It's hot, baby. - Hey, you got room for two more? 222 00:17:03,083 --> 00:17:04,984 - I'm Marcie. - Yeah, and I'm Jill. 223 00:17:04,985 --> 00:17:06,832 - I'm George. - Let's go, Georgie. 224 00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:14,999 L.A. Tower to Japan cargo. Report to hangar three. 225 00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:17,040 Roger, Tower. 226 00:17:17,916 --> 00:17:19,554 No luck. They want us in customs. 227 00:17:19,555 --> 00:17:21,540 They'll impound your car for two days. 228 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:24,874 That means, you're gonna miss the race. What do you want to do? 229 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,249 - Okay, down. - Okay. 230 00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:30,999 Change of plans. You're bailing out. 231 00:17:32,916 --> 00:17:35,040 - Button up. - Roger. 232 00:17:37,083 --> 00:17:39,832 Battle stations. 233 00:18:20,083 --> 00:18:22,165 Okay, make us invisible. 234 00:19:07,083 --> 00:19:10,915 I know you're in there, Blake. I can hear the ice cubes. 235 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:14,415 This is me, Fenderbaum. So open up. 236 00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,790 Blake, I know you're in there. 237 00:19:36,750 --> 00:19:39,249 The Candy Man can. 238 00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:49,582 Everybody loves somebody, sometime... 239 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,332 When I make a dry Martini, I make a dry Martini. 240 00:20:02,416 --> 00:20:05,832 - There's somebody at the window. - That's just the window cleaner. 241 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,437 Honey, who is it? 242 00:20:09,438 --> 00:20:11,874 I don't know. There's nobody there. 243 00:20:12,291 --> 00:20:13,499 Blake. 244 00:20:14,875 --> 00:20:16,409 Open up the window. 245 00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:19,624 I'll be back in a minute. Don't go away. 246 00:20:20,916 --> 00:20:23,249 I'm gonna kill him. 247 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,332 - There's nothing out here. - Blake. Down here. 248 00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:34,499 I don't care what it is. Not now. 249 00:20:34,541 --> 00:20:36,749 But I gotta talk to you now. 250 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,040 - You gotta? - Yes. 251 00:20:45,916 --> 00:20:47,508 Do you know that I'm eighteen 252 00:20:47,509 --> 00:20:49,540 stories above the ground? Eighteen. 253 00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:51,749 - Eighteen? - Yes, eighteen. 254 00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:57,540 Eighteen? 255 00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:07,749 You know you're the tallest short guy I've ever seen? 256 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:13,165 Read this, will you? Just read that. That's from the Sheik. 257 00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:16,499 They're gonna start the Cannonball again. And the sheik's putting up 258 00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:19,246 $1 million to the winner. And you know 259 00:21:19,247 --> 00:21:21,665 who the winner will be? $1 million. 260 00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:25,540 Take it easy now. No, don't come out. 261 00:21:25,750 --> 00:21:28,165 - I'll come in. - Blake? 262 00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:31,816 Where are you going? 263 00:21:31,817 --> 00:21:34,249 I gotta do it. It's a million dollars. 264 00:21:34,666 --> 00:21:36,790 You creep. 265 00:21:38,666 --> 00:21:40,821 Where did you get the scaffold? 266 00:21:40,822 --> 00:21:43,499 Huh? I thought this was the elevator. 267 00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:00,832 I see you got my telegram, Doctor. 268 00:22:01,916 --> 00:22:04,790 Was that that yellow thing with the printing on it? 269 00:22:04,875 --> 00:22:05,875 Yes. 270 00:22:05,876 --> 00:22:08,749 I got that, yes. I read that. It's... 271 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,665 It was... What does it say? 272 00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:15,582 It said I wish to employ your services 273 00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:19,165 to take care of my Royal ulcer during the Cannonball Run. 274 00:22:20,291 --> 00:22:22,874 Do you know much about ulcers? 275 00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:26,499 Proctology's my speciality. 276 00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:29,165 I'm very probably... 277 00:22:29,541 --> 00:22:33,082 the world's most famous expert on ulcers. 278 00:22:34,541 --> 00:22:36,406 I should probably give you an 279 00:22:36,407 --> 00:22:38,915 examination right now. Open up there. 280 00:22:43,583 --> 00:22:47,249 I sterilised it. Before we go any further... 281 00:22:48,666 --> 00:22:52,790 There's the matter of my fee. We should discuss my fee... 282 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,999 It's... just about that amount. 283 00:23:02,583 --> 00:23:04,801 Hey, wait a minute. You gonna drink milk? 284 00:23:04,802 --> 00:23:05,865 Yeah. 285 00:23:05,866 --> 00:23:08,499 Aren't you afraid it's gonna curdle when it hits your liver? 286 00:23:08,583 --> 00:23:11,249 My liver died last year. 287 00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:14,105 Can I help you? 288 00:23:14,106 --> 00:23:17,499 Anybody around here speak Oriental? 289 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:23,832 Sure. One sake coming up. 290 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,749 What he said was: "Blackjack and water" 291 00:23:33,750 --> 00:23:35,499 Now. 292 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:40,082 - You got it? - Yes Sir. Coming right up. 293 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,348 We'll get a nice big bottle of champagne, 294 00:23:44,349 --> 00:23:46,249 and then we'll go up to my place. 295 00:23:46,416 --> 00:23:48,832 Father, what are you saying? 296 00:23:49,916 --> 00:23:52,582 Didn't you ever see Thorn Birds? 297 00:23:54,583 --> 00:23:58,332 Hey pal, I'll never get laid in this outfit. 298 00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:01,999 From now on, I'm gonna wear nothing but open collars. 299 00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:06,749 - No man can live by bread alone. - I can. I love bread. 300 00:24:06,791 --> 00:24:10,374 You know, my favourite is a Parker House roll. It just is so nice. 301 00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:12,161 And then the Russian rye. You know, 302 00:24:12,162 --> 00:24:13,915 there's so many raisins in it that... 303 00:24:14,416 --> 00:24:17,499 - I'm not talking about that. - Okay. 304 00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:19,324 I'm talking about women. 305 00:24:19,326 --> 00:24:20,666 - Women? - Women. 306 00:24:20,875 --> 00:24:22,961 I want a girl that's sensitive and 307 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:25,415 vulnerable. I really... I need a girl. 308 00:24:25,875 --> 00:24:28,915 - Yeah. Me too. - You? 309 00:24:29,041 --> 00:24:31,831 Sure. Hey J.J., I'm not a eunuch, you know? 310 00:24:31,832 --> 00:24:33,832 Of course you're not a eunuch. 311 00:24:33,916 --> 00:24:36,374 Don't put yourself down like that. 312 00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:39,499 You have a striking resemblance to a eunuch, but you... 313 00:24:40,500 --> 00:24:43,999 I'm just kidding. You want a girl? You can have one of my girls. 314 00:24:44,083 --> 00:24:45,705 I couldn't take one of your girls. 315 00:24:45,706 --> 00:24:47,415 - Oh, you can. - Well, maybe just one. 316 00:24:47,583 --> 00:24:49,374 To clear up my complexion. 317 00:24:52,041 --> 00:24:53,233 - So tomorrow... - Tomorrow. 318 00:24:53,235 --> 00:24:55,250 - We turn over a new leaf. - A new leaf. 319 00:24:55,541 --> 00:24:58,415 - Up and clean. - Up and clean. 320 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,999 And tonight... down and dirty. 321 00:25:05,979 --> 00:25:06,979 Hi J.J. 322 00:25:06,980 --> 00:25:09,540 Hi. Are you guys doing anything tonight? 323 00:25:09,573 --> 00:25:10,573 Not now. 324 00:25:10,574 --> 00:25:13,415 Let's go somewhere and talk about customs and camshafts. 325 00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:15,749 Coming, J.J. 326 00:25:31,625 --> 00:25:35,415 Do we still owe Don Don $30,000? 327 00:25:36,083 --> 00:25:38,290 - Did you pay him? - No. 328 00:25:38,625 --> 00:25:41,040 Well, then we still owe him $30,000. 329 00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:45,624 Well, one of his collection men came to collect it. 330 00:25:45,833 --> 00:25:47,103 Where? 331 00:25:47,104 --> 00:25:49,832 He's at the front door, but don't look. 332 00:25:51,833 --> 00:25:54,499 I said don't look. 333 00:25:54,750 --> 00:25:58,124 If he's at the front door, we'll go out the back door, 334 00:25:58,250 --> 00:26:01,249 since he can't be at two places at one time, right? 335 00:26:01,500 --> 00:26:04,415 - That's a good suggestion. - Split city. 336 00:26:07,250 --> 00:26:10,290 - We're gonna die. - Aye. 337 00:26:14,166 --> 00:26:15,785 What are they gonna do to us? 338 00:26:15,786 --> 00:26:18,082 Don't know what they're gonna do to you, 339 00:26:18,250 --> 00:26:20,471 but since Mr. T. Ain't here, I'm gonna 340 00:26:20,472 --> 00:26:22,749 be too busy licking their boots to see. 341 00:26:30,416 --> 00:26:32,999 The money, or I'll blow you away. 342 00:26:33,166 --> 00:26:35,374 I'll take the money. 343 00:26:37,333 --> 00:26:39,739 Listen guys, why would a couple of 344 00:26:39,740 --> 00:26:42,499 operators like us be in Redondo Beach 345 00:26:42,625 --> 00:26:45,158 with a bunch of hayseeds in jumpsuits? 346 00:26:45,159 --> 00:26:46,332 Okay, wise guys. 347 00:26:46,448 --> 00:26:47,448 You tell us. 348 00:26:47,449 --> 00:26:50,290 We're gonna race to Connecticut and the one that wins 349 00:26:50,375 --> 00:26:51,882 gets $1 million in cash. 350 00:26:51,883 --> 00:26:54,665 Only a moron would back up a race like that. 351 00:26:55,750 --> 00:26:57,832 Fenderboom, Blake. 352 00:26:58,375 --> 00:27:01,999 Good to see you. You should be sleeping at this hour. 353 00:27:02,083 --> 00:27:04,499 Remember, we leave at noon tomorrow. 354 00:27:08,291 --> 00:27:11,790 Wingtips? Barbarians. 355 00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:18,249 Come, come. Buy yourselves a decent clothing store. 356 00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:21,499 - Infidels. - That's the moron. 357 00:27:22,375 --> 00:27:26,082 You know, these liars could be telling the truth. 358 00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:49,249 Hymie Kaplan, what a surprise. 359 00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:52,415 Oh wow. You look wonderful. 360 00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:57,749 What brings you to the Pinto Ranch? Is it business or pleasure? 361 00:28:01,750 --> 00:28:03,999 - May I have a chair? - Oh, certainly. 362 00:28:09,625 --> 00:28:11,749 Oh, it's business. 363 00:28:12,125 --> 00:28:14,249 I just spoke to Dad, isn't that funny? 364 00:28:14,375 --> 00:28:17,124 Don. You don't mind if I call you Don Don, do you? 365 00:28:17,125 --> 00:28:18,125 No, no. 366 00:28:18,125 --> 00:28:20,650 Oh good, Don Don. When your father was having 367 00:28:20,651 --> 00:28:22,790 a little trouble with you in Brooklyn, 368 00:28:22,916 --> 00:28:25,065 he called me and asked me for a favour. 369 00:28:25,066 --> 00:28:26,999 Could he send you out here to Vegas 370 00:28:27,333 --> 00:28:30,540 so that I could watch over yours. So what do I do? 371 00:28:30,625 --> 00:28:33,249 I give you a job working at the casino. And what did you do? 372 00:28:33,375 --> 00:28:36,311 You spend all your time working on the chorus lines. 373 00:28:36,312 --> 00:28:37,312 One line. 374 00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:39,416 I slept with one lousy chorus line. 375 00:28:39,417 --> 00:28:40,417 Shut up. 376 00:28:41,750 --> 00:28:44,540 The second favour I do for yours: you come to me 377 00:28:44,833 --> 00:28:47,301 and I lend you the money to start this... 378 00:28:47,302 --> 00:28:50,687 Hymie, the recession has hurt every small businessman. 379 00:28:50,688 --> 00:28:51,688 Oh yeah. 380 00:28:53,125 --> 00:28:55,790 - What does he owe? - As of 9:30, 381 00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:00,082 the compounded 24% interest weekly brings it to exactly 382 00:29:00,375 --> 00:29:05,582 9 million, 332 thousand, 448 dollars and 55 cents. 383 00:29:05,833 --> 00:29:07,749 Hymie, I'm doing the best I can. 384 00:29:08,041 --> 00:29:10,582 What? I'll kill you. 385 00:29:13,666 --> 00:29:17,790 That's what's so tragic. I'm gonna do you another big favour. 386 00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:21,749 I'll give you exactly until tomorrow to pay everything off. 387 00:29:21,833 --> 00:29:23,832 - Well, it's no problem because... - Shut up. 388 00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:28,165 Exactly 24 hours, Don Don. 389 00:29:28,291 --> 00:29:30,415 I mean, Dumb Dumb. 390 00:29:31,416 --> 00:29:33,915 I think I call you Dumb Dumb from now on. 391 00:29:34,666 --> 00:29:37,624 What do you think about that, chaps? 392 00:29:39,541 --> 00:29:42,165 - It's very funny, boss. - It ain't funny. 393 00:29:42,291 --> 00:29:44,624 Now, I'll tell you when something is funny. 394 00:29:46,291 --> 00:29:48,540 Tomorrow, Dumb Dumb. 395 00:29:49,416 --> 00:29:51,249 Hymie, one question. 396 00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:54,832 Oh my God. 397 00:29:57,791 --> 00:29:59,874 What was the question? 398 00:30:00,250 --> 00:30:02,582 It'll keep, Hymie. 399 00:30:08,250 --> 00:30:09,910 Are you sure this guy's your uncle? 400 00:30:09,911 --> 00:30:11,832 Yeah, and I told you he's your uncle too. 401 00:30:11,916 --> 00:30:13,255 Listen, I told you, don't tell me, 402 00:30:13,256 --> 00:30:14,790 don't explain it to me again, please. 403 00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:17,299 He's my mother's brother, who moved 404 00:30:17,300 --> 00:30:18,749 to California, and my mother 405 00:30:18,875 --> 00:30:21,624 is your father's sister, and you're my mother's brother's son. 406 00:30:27,375 --> 00:30:28,688 Is that our uncle? 407 00:30:28,689 --> 00:30:31,249 As... as they said, he had... er... 408 00:30:31,333 --> 00:30:34,415 er... a white limo. I ain't seen him in 20 years. 409 00:30:34,875 --> 00:30:37,332 He's from your side of the family. 410 00:30:38,625 --> 00:30:40,874 Uncle Cal? 411 00:30:43,333 --> 00:30:47,540 Howdy, boys. Cal's the name and cars is my game. 412 00:30:47,625 --> 00:30:51,790 Got some real sweetheart for little down and 9.9% financing. 413 00:30:52,541 --> 00:30:57,332 Uncle Cal, I'm your nephew... er... Melvin from North Carolina. 414 00:30:57,750 --> 00:30:59,768 You're my brother and sister's boy? 415 00:30:59,769 --> 00:31:01,999 And I'm your nephew Tony from Brooklyn. 416 00:31:02,333 --> 00:31:04,749 What pair are you out of? 417 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,642 Well, it don't matter. Guess you 418 00:31:06,643 --> 00:31:08,540 boys are wandering about my driver? 419 00:31:10,833 --> 00:31:13,499 He sure looks a little... er... little... er... little... 420 00:31:13,916 --> 00:31:15,749 He's weird. 421 00:31:15,791 --> 00:31:18,540 Yeah, I mean, is it easy to get a licence in this town? 422 00:31:18,666 --> 00:31:21,749 Oh, he ain't got no licence. Come here. 423 00:31:22,500 --> 00:31:24,875 I do all the driving from here. He just 424 00:31:24,876 --> 00:31:27,249 sits there and looks like he's driving. 425 00:31:27,333 --> 00:31:30,124 It's a publicity gimmick. I got a slogan: 426 00:31:30,250 --> 00:31:33,499 "If a monkey can drive, so can you." 427 00:31:37,583 --> 00:31:41,290 I love this boy. He's part of our family. 428 00:31:42,291 --> 00:31:45,290 Come on, son. Ain't he cute? 429 00:31:46,416 --> 00:31:50,165 Hey look. Hey, Uncle Cal. We got a real real problem. 430 00:31:50,250 --> 00:31:54,165 Hey Uncle Cal, we ain't got any money right now. We're flat broke. 431 00:31:54,250 --> 00:31:56,582 Yeah, but we need a car right away. 432 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,013 What are you boys doing out here? 433 00:32:00,014 --> 00:32:02,082 Uncle Cal, we... er... we're Ca... 434 00:32:02,416 --> 00:32:05,040 - We're Cannon... - We are Cannonballers. 435 00:32:05,833 --> 00:32:08,999 Stop it, boy. I told you not to play with the phones. 436 00:32:11,291 --> 00:32:14,499 Damn chimp costs me $300 a month in wrong numbers. 437 00:32:15,750 --> 00:32:20,165 Hey, stop it, you primate. That's it. I've had it with you. 438 00:32:20,500 --> 00:32:23,999 Excuse me, fellas. I've gotta teach this old boy some manners. 439 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,249 Son. 440 00:32:28,625 --> 00:32:30,249 Now you've stepped in it. 441 00:32:34,625 --> 00:32:37,749 Boys, I got one condition on the deal. 442 00:32:37,916 --> 00:32:40,576 I'm gonna give you the limo, but only if you 443 00:32:40,577 --> 00:32:42,999 take this hairy son-of-a-bitch with you. 444 00:32:48,125 --> 00:32:50,656 If he's a choreographer, I'm an aviator. 445 00:32:50,657 --> 00:32:51,657 Really? 446 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,593 Same old slop. Let's go to the coffee shop. 447 00:32:55,594 --> 00:32:56,790 Alright. 448 00:32:57,041 --> 00:32:59,540 - See you at the matinee? - Yeah. 449 00:33:00,541 --> 00:33:03,790 If I have to sing "Sound of music" one more time, I'm gonna croak. 450 00:33:03,875 --> 00:33:07,749 I'm so sick of the Crap family, I'm gonna scream. 451 00:33:11,333 --> 00:33:14,582 - Oh, it's so crowded. - Why do we eat here at all? 452 00:33:15,416 --> 00:33:17,735 Here Sisters, take this table. We're finished. 453 00:33:17,736 --> 00:33:18,824 Oh, thank you. 454 00:33:18,825 --> 00:33:20,858 Very generous and very sweet of you. 455 00:33:20,859 --> 00:33:22,790 Bless you. Awfully nice of you. 456 00:33:28,041 --> 00:33:31,290 I tell you, I'm sick of coffee shops, I'm sick of the show. 457 00:33:31,583 --> 00:33:34,082 - I'm sick of show business. - Betty, look at it this way: 458 00:33:34,166 --> 00:33:35,862 It's a stepping stone to Broadway. 459 00:33:35,863 --> 00:33:37,832 I'm getting out while I'm at the bottom. 460 00:33:37,916 --> 00:33:41,082 Finito, Veronica. I wanna get married, I wanna have a big house. 461 00:33:41,250 --> 00:33:44,165 I just wanna find some nice, sweet, bozo millionaire. 462 00:33:44,413 --> 00:33:46,214 You know what I'm gonna do with my half of the million? 463 00:33:46,215 --> 00:33:47,215 - Tell me. - Alright. 464 00:33:47,250 --> 00:33:49,999 I'm gonna buy my mum a great, big, brand new house. 465 00:33:50,333 --> 00:33:52,424 And I'm gonna buy my nephew a pony. And I 466 00:33:52,425 --> 00:33:54,665 will get the kid a shovel, because ponies... 467 00:33:54,791 --> 00:33:56,257 I tell you something. 468 00:33:56,258 --> 00:33:58,999 J.J., what are you gonna do with yours? 469 00:33:59,041 --> 00:34:01,103 My money's gonna be gone, before I even get to the car. 470 00:34:01,104 --> 00:34:02,104 Really? 471 00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:06,292 Come on, let's go introduce ourselves. 472 00:34:06,293 --> 00:34:07,415 Are you crazy? 473 00:34:07,916 --> 00:34:10,665 - Oh my God. - For Jesus Christ. 474 00:34:15,416 --> 00:34:17,997 Excuse us gentlemen, but we have just 475 00:34:17,998 --> 00:34:20,374 spilled coffee all over the table. 476 00:34:20,500 --> 00:34:22,381 Would you mind, if we sat with you? 477 00:34:22,382 --> 00:34:23,449 Sit with us? 478 00:34:23,450 --> 00:34:25,437 - You wanna join us? - Oh no, don't get up. 479 00:34:25,439 --> 00:34:27,000 - Sure. - Boy-nun, boy-nun. 480 00:34:27,916 --> 00:34:30,665 - Boy-nun, boy-nun? - Thank you, Sir. 481 00:34:30,875 --> 00:34:32,423 J.J., they're gonna join us. 482 00:34:32,425 --> 00:34:33,750 - Yeah. - Thank you. 483 00:34:33,833 --> 00:34:36,249 - I'm Sister Veronica. - And I'm Sister Betty. 484 00:34:36,389 --> 00:34:37,389 How do you do? 485 00:34:37,390 --> 00:34:40,249 I'm J.J. McClure and this is Victor Prinze. 486 00:34:40,583 --> 00:34:43,540 - We're partners. - Are you boys married? 487 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,249 No, just partners. 488 00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:51,874 - Partners? Well, sweet. - Sister Betty? 489 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,506 That's correct. But we're not partners, 490 00:34:53,507 --> 00:34:54,749 we're sisters. Not real sisters. 491 00:34:54,875 --> 00:34:57,487 We're just in the same order together. 492 00:34:57,488 --> 00:35:00,290 So what do you gentlemen do for a living? 493 00:35:00,791 --> 00:35:03,165 We race across the country. For money. 494 00:35:03,250 --> 00:35:06,499 Oh, and we're gonna have a race today to the East Coast. 495 00:35:06,666 --> 00:35:09,040 Are you racing to Broadway? 496 00:35:11,333 --> 00:35:13,665 Connecticut. What order did you say you're from? 497 00:35:13,833 --> 00:35:16,290 Oh, actually it's just a... a bunch of girls. 498 00:35:16,416 --> 00:35:17,455 Bunch of girls? 499 00:35:17,456 --> 00:35:19,624 We're affiliated together in the Order of... 500 00:35:19,875 --> 00:35:21,269 - Immaculate... - Chastity. 501 00:35:21,271 --> 00:35:23,500 The Order of Immaculate Chastity. 502 00:35:23,875 --> 00:35:28,332 The Order of Immaculate Chastity. I read the Bible all the time. 503 00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:31,749 In fact, I read the Bible that was printed on the head of a pin. 504 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,540 That was hard. But I never heard of the... 505 00:35:34,833 --> 00:35:36,440 Well, you have to read the New Testament. 506 00:35:36,441 --> 00:35:38,124 That... It's not even in the New Testament. 507 00:35:38,250 --> 00:35:39,330 It's the New... 508 00:35:39,332 --> 00:35:40,916 - New Wave. - Aha. 509 00:35:41,166 --> 00:35:43,207 New... New Test... very progressive Testament. 510 00:35:43,208 --> 00:35:44,249 We'll try to catch it. 511 00:35:45,250 --> 00:35:47,540 We have holy work to do. Let's go. 512 00:35:47,875 --> 00:35:50,249 Okay. Well, maybe some other time. 513 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,166 At what time did you say your race is? 514 00:35:53,168 --> 00:35:55,500 - Noon. - At the Portofino Inn, Sister. 515 00:35:56,291 --> 00:35:59,290 - Goodbye, Sister Veronica. - Come, Sister Betty. 516 00:35:59,500 --> 00:36:00,762 Nice meeting you, Sister. 517 00:36:00,764 --> 00:36:02,125 - Thank you. - Bye bye. 518 00:36:02,250 --> 00:36:05,040 Come on, hurry Sister Betty, we have lots of lepers waiting. 519 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,474 - Don Don? - What is this now? 520 00:36:08,476 --> 00:36:09,791 Everything is fine. 521 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,499 What we did is, we put our heads together 522 00:36:13,791 --> 00:36:17,624 and we're gonna rip off the Arab on the road during the car race. 523 00:36:18,041 --> 00:36:20,143 You put your heads together, huh? It 524 00:36:20,144 --> 00:36:22,415 must have sounded like a bowling alley. 525 00:36:22,781 --> 00:36:23,781 Yes, Don Don. 526 00:36:23,782 --> 00:36:26,624 We need millions of dollars by... what time is it now? 527 00:36:26,750 --> 00:36:28,832 Oh my God. By tomorrow. 528 00:36:29,333 --> 00:36:32,582 If we can get the sheikh, we got the money. 529 00:36:32,875 --> 00:36:36,415 He wants us to rip off the Arab and then kidnap him. 530 00:36:36,625 --> 00:36:37,656 What for? 531 00:36:37,657 --> 00:36:40,749 What for? Ransom, you idiots. Ransom. 532 00:36:40,791 --> 00:36:42,915 R-A-N-S-U-M. Ransom. 533 00:36:43,166 --> 00:36:44,422 Understand, you imbeciles? 534 00:36:44,423 --> 00:36:46,082 You got it. Please calm yourself. 535 00:36:46,250 --> 00:36:48,249 - Tell this to Hymie. - Okay, have a nice day. 536 00:37:34,875 --> 00:37:39,832 J.J., is that legal? Both of them? At the same time? 537 00:37:43,166 --> 00:37:46,915 J.J., you're bad. Hi Jill, Hi Marcie. 538 00:37:47,333 --> 00:37:49,499 Cute car. 539 00:37:50,333 --> 00:37:53,874 Imagine the stories J.J.'s making up about last night. 540 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:55,799 He's driving poor Victor crazy. 541 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,415 Yeah. Poor Victor's buying every word of it. 542 00:37:58,791 --> 00:38:00,884 Well, what he doesn't know ain't gonna hurt us. 543 00:38:00,885 --> 00:38:01,885 Never has. 544 00:38:02,041 --> 00:38:04,790 - Let's check out our competition. - Alright. 545 00:38:06,750 --> 00:38:09,665 Well, you look great. You really do. You look real sexy. 546 00:38:09,833 --> 00:38:11,290 Sexy? 547 00:38:13,375 --> 00:38:15,426 - You look... - And I look like a turd. 548 00:38:15,427 --> 00:38:18,040 - No, you don't. - J.J., what am I supposed to be? 549 00:38:18,125 --> 00:38:20,540 You're a career army man. 550 00:38:22,166 --> 00:38:24,499 Forty years in the army, the backbone of the army. 551 00:38:24,625 --> 00:38:25,907 - Alright. - Alright. 552 00:38:25,909 --> 00:38:26,909 Man. 553 00:38:27,250 --> 00:38:29,322 - Wish I had a medal. - You want a medal? 554 00:38:29,323 --> 00:38:30,999 Well, I'd like to have a medal. 555 00:38:31,662 --> 00:38:32,662 - Take one. - Oh, no. 556 00:38:32,663 --> 00:38:34,790 - Take one, you're my friend. - I couldn't take 557 00:38:34,875 --> 00:38:36,585 one of your medals. I couldn't do it. 558 00:38:36,586 --> 00:38:38,124 Take anyone you like. I love you. 559 00:38:38,250 --> 00:38:39,874 Okay. 560 00:38:40,166 --> 00:38:41,529 This is a nice one right here. 561 00:38:41,531 --> 00:38:42,666 - That one. - Thanks. 562 00:38:42,791 --> 00:38:44,915 Oh, this is really swell. 563 00:38:45,750 --> 00:38:48,749 The Congressional Medal of Honour. Thank you very much. 564 00:38:49,375 --> 00:38:51,499 That's really nice. 565 00:38:51,791 --> 00:38:56,999 Oh boy... Oh, and it's so shiny. I'm real glad. I love it. 566 00:38:57,125 --> 00:38:58,397 - Oh, look, J.J. - Ah. 567 00:38:58,399 --> 00:39:00,625 - Good morning. - Good morning. 568 00:39:01,125 --> 00:39:04,540 General? Are you a General? General J.J. McClure. 569 00:39:04,791 --> 00:39:05,957 Oh, you're a private. 570 00:39:05,959 --> 00:39:07,791 - National Guard. - Listen... 571 00:39:07,916 --> 00:39:10,874 The Lord asks a favour and we ask a favour of you. 572 00:39:11,125 --> 00:39:13,153 We have an emergency in New York and 573 00:39:13,154 --> 00:39:15,290 it's very important that we get there. 574 00:39:15,666 --> 00:39:17,981 And we've lost our means of transportation. 575 00:39:17,982 --> 00:39:19,290 And our vows of poverty 576 00:39:19,375 --> 00:39:21,776 prevent us from travelling commercially. 577 00:39:21,777 --> 00:39:23,415 Could we go along with you? 578 00:39:23,833 --> 00:39:26,540 We only have 48 hours to get there, you see. Otherwise... 579 00:39:27,250 --> 00:39:29,790 the lepers might cause a panic. 580 00:39:30,250 --> 00:39:31,280 The lepers? 581 00:39:31,281 --> 00:39:34,290 Yes. We treated lepers on Molokai, 582 00:39:34,416 --> 00:39:35,957 and now several hundred of them have 583 00:39:35,958 --> 00:39:37,540 made their way East to the Big Apple. 584 00:39:37,666 --> 00:39:39,416 We'd like to continue treating them. 585 00:39:39,417 --> 00:39:40,449 Oh... 586 00:39:40,450 --> 00:39:42,061 Oh, sure Sister, this is gonna be swell. 587 00:39:42,062 --> 00:39:43,099 Excuse me. 588 00:39:43,100 --> 00:39:44,701 Excuse me. Just one minute. 589 00:39:44,703 --> 00:39:46,125 - What? - Come here. 590 00:39:46,562 --> 00:39:47,562 What? 591 00:39:47,563 --> 00:39:49,499 How could you tell 'em "The Big Apple"? 592 00:39:50,083 --> 00:39:51,467 The lepers? Big Apple? 593 00:39:51,468 --> 00:39:53,699 Well, The Big Apple is New York, J.J. 594 00:39:53,700 --> 00:39:54,735 I know that. 595 00:39:54,736 --> 00:39:56,540 And I didn't even know they had lepers there. 596 00:39:56,666 --> 00:39:58,645 Listen to me. We can't take nuns along. 597 00:39:58,646 --> 00:39:59,675 - Oh please. - No. 598 00:39:59,676 --> 00:40:02,415 What, if we're driving along and I see a pretty girl hitch-hiking? 599 00:40:02,541 --> 00:40:04,216 She wants to get in the car, a little 600 00:40:04,217 --> 00:40:05,582 action? And we got nuns along? 601 00:40:05,666 --> 00:40:08,874 - I'm good, but I'm not that good. - Listen, if we take these nuns 602 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,249 I bet that God will be our co-pilot. 603 00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:12,665 Well... 604 00:40:17,375 --> 00:40:18,915 - Why not? - Oh, J.J. 605 00:40:19,791 --> 00:40:23,249 - You can come along. - Oh, bless you, my son. 606 00:40:23,375 --> 00:40:25,274 Oh, J.J. You'll get your reward in heaven. 607 00:40:25,275 --> 00:40:26,624 I don't wanna wait that long. 608 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,187 Snappy bags, huh? 609 00:40:29,188 --> 00:40:31,499 - It's purple for Lent. - Ah. Good. 610 00:40:32,291 --> 00:40:34,450 I should tell you something. When we're gonna 611 00:40:34,451 --> 00:40:36,374 be in the car, it'll be kind of cramped. 612 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,721 - It'll be alright? - Of course. 613 00:40:38,723 --> 00:40:40,041 It'll be alright. 614 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:45,249 My Milly took a vow of chastity. She had headaches all the time. 615 00:40:47,500 --> 00:40:49,665 Well, well, well... 616 00:40:49,875 --> 00:40:54,499 Look who we have here. General Patton... and General Admission. 617 00:40:57,166 --> 00:40:59,061 Heckle and Jeckle dressed as cops. 618 00:40:59,062 --> 00:41:01,290 Gotta arrest their minds for vagrancy. 619 00:41:01,750 --> 00:41:05,374 - Any problems, officers? - Are you kidding, Ladies? 620 00:41:05,500 --> 00:41:07,566 I might as well tell you something. We tried 621 00:41:07,567 --> 00:41:09,540 it at the last race, dressed like priests. 622 00:41:09,666 --> 00:41:12,749 We didn't win. It didn't help us and it ain't gonna help you. 623 00:41:14,416 --> 00:41:17,874 Now, as a law enforcement officer I exercise my rights 624 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:22,165 to take these two young ladies and submit them to a very nice long 625 00:41:22,375 --> 00:41:23,937 and thorough body search. 626 00:41:23,939 --> 00:41:25,750 - Shame on you. - Listen. 627 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,153 These are real nuns. This is not a 628 00:41:28,154 --> 00:41:30,749 Halloween party. Have a little respect. 629 00:41:32,291 --> 00:41:34,790 I'm up to here with you. 630 00:41:52,333 --> 00:41:53,415 You're sick. 631 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,415 Gather around, look this way. Fenderboom, Blake, J.J., Victor... 632 00:41:58,583 --> 00:42:01,582 Fellow Cannonballers, give me your attention. 633 00:42:02,125 --> 00:42:04,582 Allah came to me one night and said: 634 00:42:04,666 --> 00:42:07,290 "Falafel, be a sport." 635 00:42:07,625 --> 00:42:10,499 "Spread the wealth before Khomeini gets it all." 636 00:42:12,041 --> 00:42:15,749 Please, please... The important thing to know is 637 00:42:16,333 --> 00:42:23,249 that I personally am donating the purse of $1 million to the winner. 638 00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:37,374 Remember the golden rule: He who has the gold makes the rules. 639 00:42:37,666 --> 00:42:39,790 I go first. 640 00:42:41,791 --> 00:42:43,626 General, will this trip be dangerous? 641 00:42:43,627 --> 00:42:45,415 Oh, I don't think dangerous, Sister. 642 00:42:45,541 --> 00:42:48,040 Maybe exciting, but... 643 00:42:50,625 --> 00:42:53,832 Hello everyone... Good to see you again. 644 00:42:54,416 --> 00:42:56,569 J.J., I shall endeavour to get you the win. 645 00:42:56,570 --> 00:42:59,756 Throw the little nuns in the car and let's be off. 646 00:42:59,757 --> 00:43:01,790 Does your friend have an identity problem? 647 00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:04,874 No problem and no time, Sister. 648 00:43:06,291 --> 00:43:07,989 General, you should be in the back. 649 00:43:07,990 --> 00:43:09,499 Sister Betty, up front with me. 650 00:43:09,750 --> 00:43:11,415 Boy-nun, boy-nun. 651 00:43:13,416 --> 00:43:16,332 - Isn't he adorable? - I heard that. 652 00:43:19,250 --> 00:43:20,999 The jury's still out on that. 653 00:43:21,416 --> 00:43:26,165 Here is to good luck. May it all be mine. 654 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,665 I don't understand this, Tony. 655 00:45:11,041 --> 00:45:15,249 For the last time: I hit the back of the Arab's car, 656 00:45:15,791 --> 00:45:19,249 push a button, presto. These things clamp onto the bumper. 657 00:45:19,833 --> 00:45:23,665 Then I step on the brakes. We stop, get out of the car, 658 00:45:23,791 --> 00:45:27,790 and snatch him... Now do you understand? 659 00:45:30,375 --> 00:45:31,790 Yeah... 660 00:45:51,833 --> 00:45:55,749 - Attention: Smokey in pursuit. - Oh, trouble. 661 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:02,749 - Well, do something high-tech. - Smokey... gaining. 662 00:46:05,500 --> 00:46:07,290 Afterburner... ready. 663 00:46:18,291 --> 00:46:21,124 Boy, that's what I call a high-tech. 664 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:32,915 - Here they come. - Still seems complicated, Tony. 665 00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:37,665 It's a piece of cake. I just speed up and I get to his back bumper. 666 00:46:38,041 --> 00:46:39,999 Here we go. Get ready. Easing up. 667 00:46:40,375 --> 00:46:42,832 Now don't blow it. Just hit the button. 668 00:46:43,083 --> 00:46:47,124 Easing up. Easing up. Now. Now. 669 00:46:47,916 --> 00:46:50,579 You're not holding the wheel steady, Tony. 670 00:46:50,580 --> 00:46:51,999 Hey, you wanna drive? 671 00:46:52,750 --> 00:46:54,165 Hit it. 672 00:46:56,333 --> 00:46:59,270 Nothing can separate us now. Nothing. 673 00:46:59,271 --> 00:47:00,271 Nothing. 674 00:47:08,375 --> 00:47:12,249 Maybe it only works on American cars, Tony? 675 00:47:25,541 --> 00:47:27,582 Oh, how sweet. 676 00:47:44,333 --> 00:47:46,415 Can I help you, ma'am? 677 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,600 Aren't we going above the speed limit? 678 00:47:53,601 --> 00:47:55,249 Yes, 110, Sister Betty. 679 00:47:58,250 --> 00:48:01,249 - Oh, this is exciting. - Are you blessing my leg? 680 00:48:02,375 --> 00:48:03,582 Yeah. 681 00:48:06,791 --> 00:48:09,082 Keep blessing, sister. 682 00:48:13,375 --> 00:48:14,926 We just passed this police car. 683 00:48:14,927 --> 00:48:17,040 That's alright. We pass 'em all the time. 684 00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:22,082 - Sarge, are we doing 80? - Yeah, we sure are. 685 00:48:22,250 --> 00:48:24,533 Did they just pass us like we were standing still? 686 00:48:24,534 --> 00:48:26,040 Let me tell you what to do, son. 687 00:48:26,416 --> 00:48:28,853 Buckle up. You're taking part in your 688 00:48:28,854 --> 00:48:31,290 first high-speed pursuit and capture. 689 00:48:33,833 --> 00:48:37,110 It's following us. The police car's following us. 690 00:48:37,111 --> 00:48:38,749 Probably recognised me. 691 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:49,040 - What? - I mean, it's not my life style. 692 00:48:49,166 --> 00:48:50,624 - I don't... - No, you're fine. 693 00:48:53,291 --> 00:48:55,595 You're shaking. I'll hold your hand. 694 00:48:55,596 --> 00:48:57,249 Oh, thank you, thank you. 695 00:48:57,416 --> 00:49:00,624 - Oh, they're so warm. - J.J. is the warmest. 696 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,767 Sister Betty, he has such warm skin. 697 00:49:03,768 --> 00:49:05,540 He has such warm skin? 698 00:49:06,083 --> 00:49:08,124 You should feel the heater up here. 699 00:49:10,125 --> 00:49:11,942 Noticed how I took that last curve? High 700 00:49:11,943 --> 00:49:13,582 and wide, straight through the apex. 701 00:49:13,666 --> 00:49:16,499 Pick up about 15 mph more coming out. 702 00:49:34,916 --> 00:49:37,332 - What are you writing? - The accident report. 703 00:49:41,541 --> 00:49:42,541 Damn. 704 00:49:43,250 --> 00:49:46,915 - Tony, are you sure about this? - Stop complaining. 705 00:49:47,041 --> 00:49:50,227 Statistics proof flying is safer than driving. 706 00:49:50,228 --> 00:49:51,332 Is that right? 707 00:49:55,291 --> 00:50:00,540 Sideward and rearward manoeuvring is accomplished by... 708 00:50:01,791 --> 00:50:05,249 oh, am I mad at you. You told me you could fly this thing. 709 00:50:05,375 --> 00:50:08,499 We almost got killed three times already. 710 00:50:11,416 --> 00:50:13,473 Will you shut up an read the instructions? 711 00:50:13,474 --> 00:50:15,290 Or we'll be killed for the last time. 712 00:50:15,416 --> 00:50:18,540 You're getting me crazy. This thing can not fly by itself. 713 00:50:36,166 --> 00:50:39,749 - We're levelling out. - Alright, so we didn't crash. 714 00:50:39,833 --> 00:50:42,520 Now, explain to me about the magnet on the helicopter. 715 00:50:42,521 --> 00:50:43,521 Why? 716 00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:45,717 This scheme is too complicated for me. 717 00:50:45,718 --> 00:50:47,999 The alphabet is too complicated for you. 718 00:50:48,125 --> 00:50:50,452 It's simple: this magnet is powerful enough 719 00:50:50,453 --> 00:50:52,832 to pick a Brinks truck right off the street. 720 00:50:53,125 --> 00:50:55,415 Oh, a Brinks truck, huh? 721 00:51:02,583 --> 00:51:04,792 Here's your sandwich, Your Highness. 722 00:51:04,793 --> 00:51:06,832 You'd better not, Your Royalship. 723 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,415 That salami will kick the shit out of your ulcer. 724 00:51:14,250 --> 00:51:18,290 - Wait, wait. There's the Rolls. - Ha. Good. 725 00:51:22,416 --> 00:51:24,237 This flying is a piece of cake. 726 00:51:24,238 --> 00:51:26,499 Now that we found 'em, what do we do? 727 00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,093 Are you kidding? I just sneak up behind 'em. 728 00:51:29,094 --> 00:51:30,999 They probably won't even know I'm there. 729 00:51:31,083 --> 00:51:33,999 Then, at the right second: zappo. We snatch 'em. 730 00:51:34,083 --> 00:51:36,499 Oh. Smart. 731 00:51:36,666 --> 00:51:41,290 Why did I ever doubt you Tony? I'm too dumb to question smart people. 732 00:51:41,666 --> 00:51:43,790 This is true. 733 00:51:44,250 --> 00:51:46,299 Tony, don't you think you're too low? 734 00:51:46,300 --> 00:51:47,374 That's a negative. 735 00:51:48,291 --> 00:51:49,680 It looks a little low, Tony. 736 00:51:49,681 --> 00:51:51,624 I can see it through the window, okay? 737 00:51:54,750 --> 00:51:57,290 A little bit to the left. 738 00:51:58,041 --> 00:51:59,424 A little more to the left. 739 00:51:59,425 --> 00:52:01,499 How did you get here? The Tooth Fairy? 740 00:52:01,625 --> 00:52:05,165 - I flew you here, shmuck. - Now, down a little. 741 00:52:05,500 --> 00:52:08,499 Hit the button on the magnet. 742 00:52:08,791 --> 00:52:11,999 I love being a gangster. 743 00:52:14,750 --> 00:52:17,297 We're on like glue. Nothing, nothing 744 00:52:17,298 --> 00:52:19,499 could separate us now. Nothing. 745 00:52:21,750 --> 00:52:24,249 - Up, up and away. - Up, up and away. 746 00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,124 Listen. 747 00:52:28,250 --> 00:52:31,665 Up, up and awaaay... 748 00:52:35,125 --> 00:52:36,989 I don't know why it ain't working. 749 00:52:36,990 --> 00:52:38,249 Could be the fan belt. 750 00:52:39,833 --> 00:52:43,374 Maybe it don't work on nothing but Brinks trucks. 751 00:52:43,666 --> 00:52:49,249 Don't worry about it. I'll have it all figured out in a second. 752 00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,165 Tony, is your seat belt on? 753 00:53:18,666 --> 00:53:23,415 Hep. Eating time. You feed him, and... I'll drive. 754 00:53:23,541 --> 00:53:26,374 No, no, no. It's your turn. You feed him. Come on. 755 00:53:29,583 --> 00:53:31,290 Here you go. Oh... 756 00:53:32,875 --> 00:53:35,645 Son-of-a-bitch. That son-of-a-bitch 757 00:53:35,646 --> 00:53:38,415 is crazy. He's got a mental case... 758 00:53:53,541 --> 00:53:54,942 - Corporal. - Yes, sir. 759 00:53:54,943 --> 00:53:57,499 - You're driving well. - Thank you, sir. 760 00:53:59,291 --> 00:54:01,284 Sister Betty? You know, I was raised a 761 00:54:01,285 --> 00:54:03,124 Catholic and I'm really interested. 762 00:54:03,250 --> 00:54:06,749 Could you tell us more about the Order of the Immaculate Charity? 763 00:54:07,125 --> 00:54:09,540 - Chastity. - Chastity. 764 00:54:09,625 --> 00:54:11,999 He always get those words mixed up. 765 00:54:13,125 --> 00:54:16,290 Well... I think it's time for us to get some sleep. 766 00:54:16,541 --> 00:54:17,593 Oh sure. Good. 767 00:54:17,594 --> 00:54:19,960 So if you just excuse us, we'd like to have a little privacy. 768 00:54:19,961 --> 00:54:20,961 Sure. 769 00:54:21,166 --> 00:54:23,445 Go ahead, there's... Just put that... 770 00:54:23,446 --> 00:54:25,040 - Good night. - Good night. 771 00:54:31,666 --> 00:54:35,499 Hey, am I crazy? Or are those the friendliest nuns you've ever seen? 772 00:54:35,750 --> 00:54:38,540 - Isn't Sister Betty cute? - I'd... 773 00:54:39,833 --> 00:54:42,249 I'd like to jump her bones. 774 00:54:42,541 --> 00:54:43,843 J.J., bite your tongue. 775 00:54:43,844 --> 00:54:46,499 - Can't help it. I'm sorry. - Aren't you ashamed? 776 00:54:46,541 --> 00:54:47,541 I would. 777 00:54:47,542 --> 00:54:49,999 Oh my goodness. Why would you say such a... 778 00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:57,124 - That's sacrilegious. - These are human beings. 779 00:54:57,250 --> 00:54:59,687 And I'd be very interested to know how you make out. 780 00:54:59,688 --> 00:55:00,688 Huh? 781 00:55:01,125 --> 00:55:03,624 Because I been thinking about getting into Sister Betty's pants. 782 00:55:10,416 --> 00:55:12,582 Oh God, forgive me... 783 00:55:27,125 --> 00:55:30,165 Morning officer. Nice day, isn't it? 784 00:55:30,375 --> 00:55:32,780 Get out of the road, fat boy, before you get run over. Come on. 785 00:55:32,781 --> 00:55:33,781 Okay. 786 00:55:38,083 --> 00:55:40,415 - Good morning. - Goddamn. A General. 787 00:55:42,083 --> 00:55:44,257 Now, what seems to be the problem, officer? 788 00:55:44,258 --> 00:55:46,290 We have speed limits in this here state. 789 00:55:46,916 --> 00:55:49,832 - Even in a nuclear emergency? - What emergency? 790 00:55:50,583 --> 00:55:52,202 We can't talk about it, officer. 791 00:55:52,203 --> 00:55:53,737 Let me see your driver's licence. 792 00:55:53,738 --> 00:55:54,738 No. 793 00:55:54,739 --> 00:55:57,332 I have radioactive breath. 794 00:55:58,666 --> 00:56:00,371 What are you boys trying to pull? 795 00:56:00,372 --> 00:56:02,124 There has been a nuclear meltdown. 796 00:56:02,500 --> 00:56:05,249 We're taking some contaminated material to Connecticut. 797 00:56:05,333 --> 00:56:07,999 Why Connecticut? 798 00:56:09,041 --> 00:56:10,832 They ran out. 799 00:56:11,583 --> 00:56:13,332 Bullshit. 800 00:56:14,625 --> 00:56:17,499 - Hey, uncle Hinky. - Homer. My nephew. 801 00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:19,779 - We'll wait for you, Homer. - Thanks, Sir. 802 00:56:19,780 --> 00:56:20,999 How you're doing, Homer? 803 00:56:21,083 --> 00:56:23,083 Goddamn, I didn't know you was coming home. 804 00:56:23,084 --> 00:56:24,084 Private. 805 00:56:26,083 --> 00:56:28,040 Yes sir, General. 806 00:56:28,250 --> 00:56:29,753 What are you doing here, son? 807 00:56:29,754 --> 00:56:31,790 Well, I had a 3-day pass to come home. 808 00:56:31,875 --> 00:56:34,009 It's the first one I had in two years. 809 00:56:34,010 --> 00:56:35,415 I'm gonna commandeer you 810 00:56:35,541 --> 00:56:37,947 to drive this car to Connecticut. Get in the car, son. 811 00:56:37,948 --> 00:56:38,948 Yes, Sir. 812 00:56:38,949 --> 00:56:42,415 Hold it. Ain't nobody going no place till I phoned this here in. 813 00:56:42,666 --> 00:56:44,924 Uncle Hinky, I gotta do what he says. He got 814 00:56:44,925 --> 00:56:47,082 more medals than all at the base together. 815 00:56:47,250 --> 00:56:49,874 It don't make no difference. I phone it in anyway. 816 00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,832 - Good morning, officer. - Sweet Jesus. 817 00:56:55,166 --> 00:56:57,540 - General, why are we stopping? - I'm sorry, Sister. 818 00:56:57,666 --> 00:57:00,499 I was just explaining to the sheriff the purpose of my mission. 819 00:57:01,125 --> 00:57:04,624 - You carry nuns with you? - In case we don't... 820 00:57:04,750 --> 00:57:07,249 - make it, you know? - Oh, really? 821 00:57:07,791 --> 00:57:09,263 There's a higher purpose involved, 822 00:57:09,264 --> 00:57:11,082 officer. Only the Lord knows what it is. 823 00:57:11,833 --> 00:57:15,249 The safety of our nation depends on the speed of our mission. 824 00:57:16,083 --> 00:57:18,249 Wow. Praise the Lord. 825 00:57:18,333 --> 00:57:20,688 Well, in that case I'll give you a police 826 00:57:20,689 --> 00:57:22,874 escort all the way to the county line. 827 00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:24,624 - Bless you. - Sheriff... 828 00:57:24,750 --> 00:57:27,624 I just want you to know something: America needs your help. 829 00:57:27,750 --> 00:57:29,576 There are two communists disguised as 830 00:57:29,577 --> 00:57:31,499 policemen chasing us in a red Corvette. 831 00:57:31,916 --> 00:57:34,374 - Commies. - No shit? 832 00:57:35,125 --> 00:57:37,124 No shit. 833 00:57:38,541 --> 00:57:40,362 Now, don't go arguing with me. I've 834 00:57:40,363 --> 00:57:42,082 got it straight from the General. 835 00:57:42,250 --> 00:57:44,307 There are two communists dressed up 836 00:57:44,308 --> 00:57:46,249 as policemen in a red Corvette... 837 00:57:46,333 --> 00:57:49,332 trying to steal our nuclear shit. Shoot 'em. 838 00:57:49,500 --> 00:57:52,790 The fate of the country depends on it, do you hear me? 839 00:57:55,666 --> 00:57:58,999 Headquarters, this is units 2 and 5 eastbound on Highway 10. 840 00:57:59,250 --> 00:58:01,249 We got those commies in our sights. 841 00:58:01,250 --> 00:58:02,250 Commies? 842 00:58:02,750 --> 00:58:04,374 Now, I been called a lot of things but 843 00:58:04,375 --> 00:58:05,915 I ain't never been called no commie. 844 00:58:06,500 --> 00:58:08,379 I ain't even a Democrat. 845 00:58:08,380 --> 00:58:12,499 You can inform the General they're as good as caught. 846 00:58:14,666 --> 00:58:16,582 The General... General? 847 00:58:18,041 --> 00:58:21,999 J.J. That son-of-a-bitch. 848 00:58:31,875 --> 00:58:35,040 Good, Blake. But not good enough. 849 00:58:35,125 --> 00:58:38,915 This is 2 and 5 again. We're now westbound on Highway 10. 850 00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:42,415 This is the Captain. I want those two foreigners brought in. 851 00:58:43,041 --> 00:58:45,832 - Dead or alive. - Don't you worry about it. 852 00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:47,694 - You know what I'm gonna do? - What? 853 00:58:47,695 --> 00:58:49,165 I'm gonna turn this car around 854 00:58:49,250 --> 00:58:53,040 and I am gonna block the whole highway sideways. 855 00:58:53,166 --> 00:58:56,749 And when they come they have a choice: either to ditch it 856 00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,749 or ram right straight into us. 857 00:59:00,416 --> 00:59:03,478 Just ditch it or... ram straight into us? 858 00:59:03,479 --> 00:59:04,499 Yeah. 859 00:59:21,750 --> 00:59:25,499 Get outta here with these bananas. I don't want the bananas. 860 00:59:27,166 --> 00:59:30,499 This is humiliating as hell... er... sitting up here. 861 00:59:30,625 --> 00:59:36,082 Well, it's no picnic being back here. Wacked-out monkey. 862 00:59:38,750 --> 00:59:41,040 Stop it. Well, keep your hands off me, monkey. 863 00:59:50,666 --> 00:59:53,415 - What are you doing up here? - Man, it's safer. 864 00:59:55,125 --> 00:59:57,165 - Well, who's driving? - He is. 865 01:00:09,291 --> 01:00:13,999 Would you boys like to stay for dinner? I just made noodle soup. 866 01:00:23,083 --> 01:00:26,124 Note, Blake. General Patton's car. 867 01:00:26,500 --> 01:00:28,915 Is the blimp driving? 868 01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,832 No. It's the General. 869 01:00:32,166 --> 01:00:34,249 The General, huh? Ha. 870 01:00:34,333 --> 01:00:38,040 Oh, I'm gonna make a private out of him. 871 01:00:45,833 --> 01:00:49,999 It's money in the bank. A million bucks. 872 01:00:54,875 --> 01:00:58,832 Oh, come on. It'll be a weekend you'll never forget. 873 01:00:59,250 --> 01:01:01,874 - All three of us? - Yep. 874 01:01:02,791 --> 01:01:04,592 It's gonna be a weekend you can tell 875 01:01:04,593 --> 01:01:06,540 your kids about... if they're all boys. 876 01:01:07,083 --> 01:01:09,236 Look, you guys thrashed this gull-wing 877 01:01:09,237 --> 01:01:11,499 out. I didn't even pay for that one yet. 878 01:01:11,625 --> 01:01:13,490 Listen, baby. We're gonna be as gentle 879 01:01:13,491 --> 01:01:15,499 with that car as we're gonna be with you. 880 01:01:15,750 --> 01:01:18,332 Real sound. Come on, what you say? 881 01:01:21,875 --> 01:01:22,875 Okay. 882 01:01:22,876 --> 01:01:24,250 - Alright. - Okay. 883 01:01:24,416 --> 01:01:26,795 The keys are in the car, but hurry back. 884 01:01:26,796 --> 01:01:28,999 My friends aren't gonna believe this. 885 01:01:29,416 --> 01:01:31,260 Know what? You just bring them too. 886 01:01:31,261 --> 01:01:32,261 Really? 887 01:01:32,262 --> 01:01:34,165 Sure. And don't forget your camera. 888 01:01:34,583 --> 01:01:36,415 Really? 889 01:01:41,750 --> 01:01:43,750 You got a full tank of gas in here? 890 01:01:43,751 --> 01:01:45,749 Please, be careful with it. Please. 891 01:01:47,375 --> 01:01:49,249 I'll be real gentle. 892 01:02:19,791 --> 01:02:22,290 What do you want, Ching-Chong man? 893 01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,772 Help? Gee, there's only a dozen of 'em. 894 01:02:33,773 --> 01:02:35,499 By the way, can you split that for me? 895 01:02:38,750 --> 01:02:40,249 Thank you. 896 01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,790 I'll be there in a minute. 897 01:03:24,375 --> 01:03:26,966 That was wonderful. You're great. Can you 898 01:03:26,967 --> 01:03:29,249 stay for dinner and meet my parents? 899 01:03:31,500 --> 01:03:34,124 That was so great. What's your name? 900 01:03:35,250 --> 01:03:38,249 Hey, we got a race to finish. A million bucks. 901 01:03:40,750 --> 01:03:42,540 He can stay for dinner, too. 902 01:03:46,125 --> 01:03:47,527 Dammit. The race is gonna be over, if 903 01:03:47,528 --> 01:03:49,040 they don't get their buns out here soon. 904 01:03:53,250 --> 01:03:56,165 Golly. They changed their clothes. 905 01:03:58,750 --> 01:04:02,082 - You think we've gone too far? - Probably. 906 01:04:04,625 --> 01:04:06,999 Let's go for it. 907 01:04:07,250 --> 01:04:09,145 You know, General? I bet this mission 908 01:04:09,146 --> 01:04:10,790 is so secret you had 'em do this 909 01:04:10,916 --> 01:04:13,332 so Russian spies wouldn't recognise 'em. 910 01:04:21,041 --> 01:04:23,499 We got a six-pack and some chilli-dogs for the trip. 911 01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:28,249 I got one for you and one for... "him". 912 01:04:40,625 --> 01:04:43,290 You've adapted to civilian life very well. 913 01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:51,499 Oh my God. Private... Walk this way. 914 01:04:54,333 --> 01:04:56,290 Nuns, huh? 915 01:04:59,250 --> 01:05:02,999 - Get in the car. - Yes, General. 916 01:05:23,416 --> 01:05:27,374 Put that away. You ain't gonna use it. 917 01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:35,332 To your right, Highness. To your right. 918 01:05:37,625 --> 01:05:41,290 As soon as this cable rips up the Rolls... 919 01:05:41,875 --> 01:05:44,665 - you grab the money... - I grab the money? 920 01:05:44,791 --> 01:05:47,374 And I grab the sheikh or what's left of 'em... 921 01:05:47,666 --> 01:05:49,915 - and we head back to Vegas. - Vegas? 922 01:05:52,125 --> 01:05:55,082 Prince Falafel. Buy what? 923 01:05:56,833 --> 01:05:59,082 Nimitz? What's a Nimitz? 924 01:06:00,666 --> 01:06:03,249 The U.S.S. Nimitz, ah. 925 01:06:03,333 --> 01:06:06,999 I want to buy it. I want to land my 747s on it. 926 01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:11,165 I don't care what it costs. How much? 927 01:06:11,416 --> 01:06:14,915 - Feeling better now, aren't you? - I can't hear you. Talk louder. 928 01:06:15,041 --> 01:06:17,382 I said, you're feeling better now, aren't you? 929 01:06:17,383 --> 01:06:18,624 Yes, a thousand thanks. 930 01:06:18,750 --> 01:06:21,332 - No problem. Buy. - Bye. 931 01:06:32,666 --> 01:06:33,853 Tighten it up, they're coming. 932 01:06:33,855 --> 01:06:35,041 - I tighten it. - Tighter. 933 01:06:35,791 --> 01:06:38,499 Come. Hurry. Here it comes. 934 01:06:55,166 --> 01:06:57,465 Well yeah, you get what you pay for. 935 01:06:57,466 --> 01:06:58,466 Oh, dammit. 936 01:06:58,750 --> 01:07:01,332 - What now? - I don't know. 937 01:07:03,250 --> 01:07:06,332 - Well, get out and start smiling. - Yeah, right. 938 01:07:21,625 --> 01:07:23,999 Don't blame me. I didn't do nothing. 939 01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:26,999 Me neither. I'm just following orders. 940 01:07:40,750 --> 01:07:42,930 We were turning about 8 grand when the 941 01:07:42,931 --> 01:07:44,999 gages lit up like a pinball machine. 942 01:07:45,416 --> 01:07:48,290 Yeah, so we propped the hood and there's oil leaking. 943 01:07:49,541 --> 01:07:51,906 - Right here. - Does it look bad? 944 01:07:51,908 --> 01:07:54,500 Not from where I'm standing. 945 01:07:54,791 --> 01:07:56,484 Oh, can you fix it then? 946 01:07:56,485 --> 01:07:59,915 Honey, I got a tool that'll fix anything. 947 01:08:01,500 --> 01:08:03,249 Oh, yeah? 948 01:08:17,083 --> 01:08:18,184 - Hey, sugar? - Yeah? 949 01:08:18,185 --> 01:08:20,124 What have you got under the hood? 950 01:08:20,583 --> 01:08:23,999 Alright. That's a 454, four on the floor. 951 01:08:24,666 --> 01:08:26,626 - Full house, with a blower. - Yeah? 952 01:08:26,627 --> 01:08:28,374 She's a sweetheart, isn't she? 953 01:08:32,041 --> 01:08:34,499 It sure is hot out here, ain't it? 954 01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:37,999 Yeah, it really is. 955 01:08:42,083 --> 01:08:45,749 Why don't you relax, sugar? Everything's gonna be just fine. 956 01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:49,040 I don't think my boss wanted this to do 120 mph. 957 01:08:49,791 --> 01:08:51,024 Well, it's doing it. 958 01:08:51,025 --> 01:08:54,332 Come on, listen. Why don't you just take me back and... 959 01:08:54,500 --> 01:08:55,928 My... Just take me back to my 960 01:08:55,929 --> 01:08:57,749 boss... Oh jeez, am I gonna get it. 961 01:09:04,250 --> 01:09:07,624 What the heck. It's only a job. Let's go. 962 01:09:08,666 --> 01:09:11,249 And it's gonna be a weekend you'll never forget. 963 01:09:20,125 --> 01:09:24,290 Attention... Smokie in pursuit. Attention... Smokie in... 964 01:09:24,375 --> 01:09:26,374 Battle stations. 965 01:09:27,833 --> 01:09:30,499 - Afterburner. - Roger. 966 01:09:32,166 --> 01:09:35,415 Afterburner ready... 3, 2, 1... 967 01:09:35,500 --> 01:09:37,374 Ignition. 968 01:09:47,750 --> 01:09:51,299 - Turn it off. - Turn it off. 969 01:09:52,250 --> 01:09:55,124 Prepare to crash dive. 970 01:10:10,833 --> 01:10:13,040 We just lost it. 971 01:10:30,625 --> 01:10:33,249 - Look, beer cans. - Underwear? 972 01:10:33,500 --> 01:10:35,843 Now let's give 'em the oil slick. 973 01:10:35,844 --> 01:10:36,844 Yes, man. 974 01:10:41,625 --> 01:10:44,749 Oil slick... Sorry, fellas. 975 01:10:45,375 --> 01:10:49,465 - We're just doing our job. - Yes, sorry. 976 01:10:50,041 --> 01:10:52,332 Attention... enemy astern. 977 01:10:52,666 --> 01:10:55,166 Let's see what's happening. Up the scope. 978 01:10:55,167 --> 01:10:56,167 Okay. 979 01:11:13,083 --> 01:11:14,139 Quiet, please. 980 01:11:14,140 --> 01:11:16,582 Stand by for depth charge attack. 981 01:11:26,875 --> 01:11:28,732 Come on. Catch one. Pay attention. 982 01:11:28,733 --> 01:11:30,790 We've been coming here for five years. 983 01:11:30,916 --> 01:11:32,298 - Five years. - Without a fish. 984 01:11:32,299 --> 01:11:34,068 A big one's out there for you, boys. 985 01:11:34,069 --> 01:11:35,069 You're sure? 986 01:11:35,070 --> 01:11:37,034 Darn right. I saw him jump the other day. I 987 01:11:37,035 --> 01:11:39,124 took a picture, while it was in the air. 988 01:11:39,750 --> 01:11:42,124 Picture weighed 13 and a half pounds. 989 01:11:43,166 --> 01:11:45,499 I really don't like this guy. 990 01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:56,165 Forward all engines. 991 01:12:14,375 --> 01:12:16,999 Come on, just pay attention to what you're doing. 992 01:12:23,416 --> 01:12:25,665 All ahead full. 993 01:12:29,750 --> 01:12:31,499 - Let him go. - No. 994 01:12:31,750 --> 01:12:34,874 We've caught ourselves a Moby Dick. 995 01:12:35,750 --> 01:12:37,915 God damn, we're going with him. 996 01:12:45,875 --> 01:12:48,290 And you haven't seen your family in 2 years? 997 01:12:48,291 --> 01:12:50,499 No, but I'm not complaining. Duty calls. 998 01:12:51,454 --> 01:12:52,454 - General? - What? 999 01:12:52,455 --> 01:12:54,999 How long do you think the national emergency 1000 01:12:55,083 --> 01:12:58,040 will require the services of Private Lyle here, Sir? 1001 01:12:58,766 --> 01:12:59,766 I don't know. 1002 01:12:59,767 --> 01:13:01,749 He hasn't seen his family in 2 years. 1003 01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:05,360 J.J., that is not nice. Truly isn't. 1004 01:13:05,361 --> 01:13:08,290 A General's work is never done. 1005 01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:10,543 - Private. - Yes, Sir. 1006 01:13:10,545 --> 01:13:13,000 I've checked the Geiger counter 1007 01:13:13,666 --> 01:13:16,264 and the radioactivity seems to be dropping. I 1008 01:13:16,265 --> 01:13:18,749 don't think we need your services any more. 1009 01:13:19,250 --> 01:13:20,736 - Yes, sir. - Pull over. 1010 01:13:20,738 --> 01:13:21,750 Yes, sir. 1011 01:13:43,666 --> 01:13:47,082 Private Lyle, you've rendered a great service to this country. 1012 01:13:47,541 --> 01:13:49,328 You make me proud to be in the same 1013 01:13:49,329 --> 01:13:51,165 army with a man with your character. 1014 01:13:52,750 --> 01:13:55,749 I'd like to present you with the Congressional Medal of Honour. 1015 01:13:57,875 --> 01:14:00,020 This Congressional Medal of Honour? 1016 01:14:00,021 --> 01:14:02,165 That Congressional Medal of Honour. 1017 01:14:12,083 --> 01:14:14,415 - That's French. - I know. 1018 01:14:15,291 --> 01:14:17,033 General, for the last 20 years while 1019 01:14:17,034 --> 01:14:18,540 I was working in the motor pool 1020 01:14:18,625 --> 01:14:20,270 I always knew the Good Lord's gonna give 1021 01:14:20,271 --> 01:14:21,915 me a chance to come on a special mission 1022 01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:24,790 like this, to serve my country. 1023 01:14:37,875 --> 01:14:39,915 Bye, Lyle. 1024 01:15:00,083 --> 01:15:02,122 And that's all you have to do, honey. 1025 01:15:02,123 --> 01:15:03,123 Boy, am I sick. 1026 01:15:03,250 --> 01:15:05,375 I ain't never gonna fly with you again. 1027 01:15:05,376 --> 01:15:07,499 Will you shut up and read the instructs 1028 01:15:07,541 --> 01:15:10,415 and tell me what it says about landing this thing? 1029 01:15:12,750 --> 01:15:15,999 - It says: lower the flaps. - Okay, then do it, quickly. 1030 01:15:16,125 --> 01:15:19,040 - Where are they? - Under "F", you idiot. 1031 01:15:19,250 --> 01:15:22,249 Well, let's see. There's a "T" for tabs. Is that any good? 1032 01:15:22,291 --> 01:15:24,507 - Fantastic. Pull it. - Pull what? 1033 01:15:24,509 --> 01:15:27,000 - Anything, dummy. - Okay, Tony. 1034 01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:49,290 To look sharp... 1035 01:15:49,500 --> 01:15:52,249 To feel sharp... 1036 01:15:52,416 --> 01:15:54,832 I like this song so much, I bought the company. 1037 01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:00,725 I don't know why everybody makes such a big 1038 01:16:00,726 --> 01:16:02,332 deal about flying. It's a piece of cake. 1039 01:16:02,666 --> 01:16:04,633 This better work, Tony. I just 1040 01:16:04,634 --> 01:16:07,124 called Don Don, and he's really mad. 1041 01:16:08,166 --> 01:16:10,374 Caesar, Caesar... 1042 01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:15,374 Simplicity is the hallmark of genius. This cannot miss. 1043 01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:17,499 Yeah? 1044 01:16:18,375 --> 01:16:20,999 Relax, alright? 1045 01:16:25,375 --> 01:16:28,499 Damn ulcer's killing me. You got anything for it? 1046 01:16:29,666 --> 01:16:32,790 Charlotte Russe. How delightful. 1047 01:16:34,541 --> 01:16:39,082 Not exactly the Maxim's, but my compliments to the chef. 1048 01:16:53,500 --> 01:16:55,540 A thousand pardons. 1049 01:16:56,125 --> 01:16:59,351 I couldn't help noticing. Obviously 1050 01:16:59,352 --> 01:17:02,040 you are a damsel in distress. 1051 01:17:03,083 --> 01:17:06,009 May I be of service to you? I am the 1052 01:17:06,010 --> 01:17:08,540 great Prince Abdul-Ben Falafel, 1053 01:17:08,833 --> 01:17:12,415 master of all deserts, Prince of princes, 1054 01:17:13,250 --> 01:17:15,499 and one of the world's biggest... 1055 01:17:15,500 --> 01:17:16,500 Yoyos. 1056 01:17:16,501 --> 01:17:19,165 How dare you put a gun to my head. 1057 01:17:22,166 --> 01:17:25,582 As I was saying, do you come here often? 1058 01:17:30,916 --> 01:17:32,730 I wish you guys would have seen us change 1059 01:17:32,731 --> 01:17:34,415 in the bathroom, making this decision. 1060 01:17:34,500 --> 01:17:36,695 Know, what she wanted to do? To put the 1061 01:17:36,696 --> 01:17:38,999 nun's habit on and the shorts underneath. 1062 01:17:39,750 --> 01:17:41,548 And she thought you wouldn't notice. 1063 01:17:41,549 --> 01:17:42,549 I will notice. 1064 01:17:42,583 --> 01:17:44,830 Well, I just didn't want you to be upset 1065 01:17:44,831 --> 01:17:46,749 when you found out I wasn't a nun. 1066 01:17:48,333 --> 01:17:50,999 You're not? 1067 01:17:52,750 --> 01:17:57,332 - I'm not even a Catholic. - Well, nobody's perfect. 1068 01:17:59,541 --> 01:18:02,749 - May I? - Oh, I been waiting for this. 1069 01:18:15,750 --> 01:18:17,447 Sure hate to give the chauffeur a ticket. 1070 01:18:17,448 --> 01:18:18,874 Yeah, it's always the jerk in back 1071 01:18:19,000 --> 01:18:21,915 - giving the orders. - Yeah. 1072 01:18:24,625 --> 01:18:26,374 Pardon me, Sir, we're... 1073 01:18:34,833 --> 01:18:36,777 You know what that is, back there? 1074 01:18:36,778 --> 01:18:38,249 Damn right. It's a chimp. 1075 01:18:38,875 --> 01:18:42,749 Listen to me. See that dark glass? Don't look. 1076 01:18:43,250 --> 01:18:45,915 You know who's behind that glass filming us? 1077 01:18:46,125 --> 01:18:48,749 Allen Funt. We're on "Candid Camera". 1078 01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:51,249 Come on, it's our chance. Come on. 1079 01:18:52,541 --> 01:18:55,374 Stand right here so they can see you. Stand right here. 1080 01:18:56,750 --> 01:18:58,999 Pardon me, Sir. I'd like to see your licence... 1081 01:19:04,583 --> 01:19:06,272 Oh God, I wonder what the penalty 1082 01:19:06,273 --> 01:19:08,165 is for assaulting a police officer. 1083 01:19:08,875 --> 01:19:11,624 He's not gonna make a monkey out of me. 1084 01:19:12,666 --> 01:19:14,582 You're okay? Don't make him mad. 1085 01:19:20,583 --> 01:19:22,514 I'm gonna say hello to my mum. I just 1086 01:19:22,515 --> 01:19:24,749 wondered if I could say hello to my mother? 1087 01:19:30,041 --> 01:19:33,332 This is working great. Let's go sing. Come on, before they go. 1088 01:19:34,416 --> 01:19:39,540 By the light of the silvery moon... 1089 01:19:41,000 --> 01:19:43,332 Let's get the hell outta here. 1090 01:19:45,083 --> 01:19:48,395 Hey, Mr. Funt. Aren't we supposed to sign a release? 1091 01:19:48,396 --> 01:19:49,499 Oh, shut up. 1092 01:19:54,791 --> 01:19:58,415 Oh, listen. Look. Hold it. Look, Cannonballers ahead of us. 1093 01:20:08,083 --> 01:20:10,249 Alright, what the hell happened? 1094 01:20:10,500 --> 01:20:12,906 Sir. I was eating my dessert when 1095 01:20:12,907 --> 01:20:15,749 suddenly I saw one of the cat people. 1096 01:20:16,125 --> 01:20:18,624 - Beautiful body was... - Now, we have a slight problem. 1097 01:20:19,125 --> 01:20:22,374 Two hoods. They parted with the Sheik and the money. 1098 01:20:22,500 --> 01:20:23,500 How that happen? 1099 01:20:23,501 --> 01:20:26,124 She was hitch-hiking in a leopard coat and as we approached 1100 01:20:26,291 --> 01:20:28,790 she flashed and we stopped. 1101 01:20:34,916 --> 01:20:38,165 He's right. Who else knew the million was in the sheik's trunk? 1102 01:20:48,250 --> 01:20:51,624 I think you two guys have got something to tell us, right? 1103 01:20:51,625 --> 01:20:52,749 Right. 1104 01:20:55,500 --> 01:20:58,249 J.J, let me explain to you as briefly as I can. 1105 01:20:58,666 --> 01:21:01,019 Here's what happened. We owed the guys in 1106 01:21:01,020 --> 01:21:03,540 Vegas a little chump change. Nothing really. 1107 01:21:03,791 --> 01:21:06,749 So they sent down some torpedoes to collect. 1108 01:21:08,625 --> 01:21:10,934 And you told 'em about the Sheik. 1109 01:21:10,935 --> 01:21:12,665 It was tell 'em or else. 1110 01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:14,440 Who were these guys? 1111 01:21:14,441 --> 01:21:17,124 The Cannelloni family from Las Vegas. 1112 01:21:17,250 --> 01:21:19,361 Well, hell. Let's just go get these guys. 1113 01:21:19,362 --> 01:21:21,040 We can't just go get these guys. 1114 01:21:21,166 --> 01:21:23,610 - Why? - They hold up at the Pinto Ranch, 1115 01:21:23,611 --> 01:21:25,749 and that's guarded like Fort Knox. 1116 01:21:25,791 --> 01:21:28,374 Wait a minute. Maybe "him" can get through. 1117 01:21:28,583 --> 01:21:33,082 Maybe "him" can get "himself" killed and take you with "him". 1118 01:21:33,791 --> 01:21:35,536 "Him" is open for other suggestions. 1119 01:21:35,537 --> 01:21:37,415 What's happening? What's going on here? 1120 01:21:37,833 --> 01:21:40,681 Gaped at her naked body glistening in the 1121 01:21:40,682 --> 01:21:43,665 hot sun and her sweet sweat rolling down... 1122 01:21:44,291 --> 01:21:47,832 Hey, wait a minute. We'll go to the King. 1123 01:21:48,291 --> 01:21:50,665 No, no. The sheik's father hates him. 1124 01:21:51,083 --> 01:21:54,999 Hey, he's not the only king. We have royalty in this country, too. 1125 01:21:55,875 --> 01:21:58,124 He'll see you guys. 1126 01:22:11,250 --> 01:22:13,415 Sit on this. 1127 01:22:15,333 --> 01:22:17,884 How did you enjoy the Halloween party? 1128 01:22:17,885 --> 01:22:19,999 - What a guy he is. - What a guy. 1129 01:22:21,250 --> 01:22:23,174 Alright. How much this time? 1130 01:22:23,175 --> 01:22:26,124 Frank, you know. It's never for ourselves. 1131 01:22:28,500 --> 01:22:29,767 Not this time, Frank. 1132 01:22:29,768 --> 01:22:32,082 And who asked you to sit down? Get up. 1133 01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:37,832 - Mr. Sinatra... - You may call me Frank. 1134 01:22:38,541 --> 01:22:41,249 - I can call him Frank. - Not yet. 1135 01:22:41,416 --> 01:22:43,145 I'll let you know when you can. Not 1136 01:22:43,146 --> 01:22:44,874 exactly now, but I'll let you know. 1137 01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:47,415 - What can I call you? - Call me sir. 1138 01:22:48,375 --> 01:22:49,866 Call him Sir. 1139 01:22:49,867 --> 01:22:54,040 I got it. Sir... We are Cannonballers. 1140 01:22:54,666 --> 01:22:56,832 - What? - Cannonballers. 1141 01:22:58,375 --> 01:23:00,332 Oh, wait a minute... 1142 01:23:00,750 --> 01:23:03,249 I've been lonely as much as you have, from time to time. 1143 01:23:03,875 --> 01:23:04,969 Come on. 1144 01:23:04,970 --> 01:23:08,249 That's a hot one, Your Majesty. Sir. 1145 01:23:09,083 --> 01:23:12,290 You see, the Cannonball is a race from California to Connecticut. 1146 01:23:12,375 --> 01:23:14,964 We have lots of fun. But the Sheik... 1147 01:23:14,965 --> 01:23:15,999 - Sheik? - Yes. 1148 01:23:16,250 --> 01:23:17,337 With the blue Rolls Royce. 1149 01:23:17,338 --> 01:23:19,665 Who is he? Did I ever sing for him in London, you think? 1150 01:23:19,833 --> 01:23:22,499 We can't even pronounce his name. You see, they kidnapped him 1151 01:23:22,583 --> 01:23:24,376 and they took $1 million out of the trunk 1152 01:23:24,377 --> 01:23:26,040 of his car. That's why we came to you. 1153 01:23:26,791 --> 01:23:29,770 Why come to me? Why don't you go to the FBI? 1154 01:23:29,771 --> 01:23:31,165 Who taught the FBI? 1155 01:23:34,583 --> 01:23:37,082 Okay, alright. Who snatched him? 1156 01:23:37,416 --> 01:23:39,624 Oh, the Cannellonis. 1157 01:23:42,083 --> 01:23:43,999 I got an idea. 1158 01:23:44,125 --> 01:23:46,148 I got a trio that I use in my act and this 1159 01:23:46,149 --> 01:23:48,124 bum's been trying to steal it for months. 1160 01:23:51,416 --> 01:23:53,790 Dorothy, get me Don Don. 1161 01:23:57,083 --> 01:24:00,582 They must be terrific for Frank to recommend them personally. 1162 01:24:00,750 --> 01:24:02,535 I guarantee you have never seen 1163 01:24:02,536 --> 01:24:04,665 anything like this in your whole... 1164 01:24:04,791 --> 01:24:07,415 I'm not saying this, just because I'm their agent. 1165 01:24:07,750 --> 01:24:12,124 You know, I just love auditioning new talent. I get all excited. 1166 01:24:47,083 --> 01:24:48,749 Come on, what's the matter? 1167 01:24:48,750 --> 01:24:50,874 They are a little short on looks. 1168 01:24:51,083 --> 01:24:54,665 But didn't you notice the nice unison? The way they dance? 1169 01:25:10,583 --> 01:25:12,624 They're fabulous. 1170 01:25:42,291 --> 01:25:45,915 Frank ain't no dummy. I can't sing... 1171 01:25:46,041 --> 01:25:49,749 but even I can follow that act. 1172 01:25:54,000 --> 01:25:55,665 Thank you. 1173 01:26:04,250 --> 01:26:06,665 Girls, you're hired. You're hired, girls. You're hired. 1174 01:26:07,125 --> 01:26:11,165 You all have life... lifetime contracts here at the Pinto Ranch. 1175 01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:14,249 I'll just have to move some place else... Now, girls. 1176 01:26:14,625 --> 01:26:18,749 Lovely. Go to your dressing rooms and powder your noses... a lot. 1177 01:26:19,000 --> 01:26:20,828 Absolutely wonderful. Frank certainly 1178 01:26:20,829 --> 01:26:22,415 knows his stuff. Just wonderful. 1179 01:26:27,166 --> 01:26:29,499 Bad news. 1180 01:26:45,833 --> 01:26:48,958 Oh, girls. How do you spell Laverne? Is that one word or two? 1181 01:26:48,959 --> 01:26:49,999 - Two. - Three. 1182 01:26:51,166 --> 01:26:53,249 Oh, Hymie, what a pleasant surprise. 1183 01:26:59,500 --> 01:27:02,040 What a pleasant surprise... 1184 01:27:02,416 --> 01:27:06,832 Hey. I said I'd be here in 24 hours. Therefore... 1185 01:27:07,333 --> 01:27:11,999 it ain't no surprise. And it ain't gonna be pleasant either. May I? 1186 01:27:14,416 --> 01:27:16,332 Oh my God... 1187 01:27:29,750 --> 01:27:33,249 - What are these three bowwows? - It's our new lounge act. 1188 01:27:33,333 --> 01:27:37,249 What do they do? Scare the audience to death?...That's funny. 1189 01:27:39,333 --> 01:27:41,540 Mr. Hymie? 1190 01:27:43,416 --> 01:27:44,869 You girls ever hear of Nair? 1191 01:27:44,871 --> 01:27:46,583 - We're working on it. - Huh? 1192 01:27:47,125 --> 01:27:49,624 Our doctor has us on hormones. 1193 01:27:50,541 --> 01:27:52,661 Well, I suggest you go for a second opinion, 1194 01:27:52,662 --> 01:27:54,499 because I think he's over-prescribing. 1195 01:27:55,250 --> 01:27:57,790 Hi, I'm Laverne. 1196 01:28:04,541 --> 01:28:06,999 Get me those hormones. 1197 01:28:08,541 --> 01:28:11,540 Alright, Dumb-Dumb. Where's my nine large? 1198 01:28:14,250 --> 01:28:17,624 One million dollars, Hymie. And the rest is in escrow 1199 01:28:17,750 --> 01:28:20,790 in a bank in downtown Las Vegas. 1200 01:28:21,041 --> 01:28:25,165 I'm gonna consider this interest only, alright? 1201 01:28:26,416 --> 01:28:29,683 Now, you have the principal by tomorrow, 1202 01:28:29,684 --> 01:28:32,790 or you'll be under downtown Las Vegas. 1203 01:28:35,416 --> 01:28:39,249 - Girls... so long. - Bye, Mr. Hymie. 1204 01:28:41,750 --> 01:28:44,749 Excuse me... You have a Ladies' restroom? 1205 01:28:44,875 --> 01:28:47,436 Yes, it says "Cowgirls". It's the second door on the left. 1206 01:28:47,437 --> 01:28:48,437 On the left. 1207 01:28:48,500 --> 01:28:50,843 Now, this is a lifetime contract, as I said. 1208 01:28:50,844 --> 01:28:53,082 I presume they'll have their own wardrobe? 1209 01:28:58,000 --> 01:29:00,082 - Tits up. - Alright. 1210 01:29:03,250 --> 01:29:04,281 Mr. Hymie. 1211 01:29:04,282 --> 01:29:07,374 That Laverne comes near me, waste her. 1212 01:29:09,750 --> 01:29:11,230 We were just wondering if you could 1213 01:29:11,231 --> 01:29:12,874 give us a little advice on our careers. 1214 01:29:13,083 --> 01:29:15,790 Oh, yeah. Get out of show business. 1215 01:29:16,625 --> 01:29:18,165 Now. 1216 01:29:21,000 --> 01:29:23,749 We got the money. 1217 01:29:24,250 --> 01:29:26,665 Hide. Somebody's coming. 1218 01:29:37,041 --> 01:29:39,496 - Your purses. - Oh, good. We got the money. 1219 01:29:39,497 --> 01:29:40,915 - Oh, let's go. - No, no. 1220 01:29:41,541 --> 01:29:43,275 We gotta save the Sheik. 1221 01:29:43,277 --> 01:29:45,083 - Come on. - Alright. 1222 01:29:49,750 --> 01:29:52,179 Hi, I was wondering if you gentlemen will 1223 01:29:52,180 --> 01:29:54,665 be kind enough to help me with my baggage? 1224 01:29:57,375 --> 01:29:59,790 Man, those three broads got a case of the uglies. 1225 01:29:59,875 --> 01:30:02,290 Let the boss not hear you say that. 1226 01:30:06,125 --> 01:30:09,374 It's torture, I tell you. Torture. Please. Please. 1227 01:30:09,500 --> 01:30:10,741 Hey, it's got a lock on it. 1228 01:30:10,743 --> 01:30:12,166 - Break it down. - Come on. 1229 01:30:12,833 --> 01:30:15,499 Ladies, at one, two, three. 1230 01:30:18,791 --> 01:30:22,374 More Ladies. My beauties, you must wait your turn. 1231 01:30:22,500 --> 01:30:24,832 There is only so much water in the fountain. 1232 01:30:25,541 --> 01:30:28,653 - Sheik, it's us. - We're not girls. 1233 01:30:28,654 --> 01:30:29,999 How dare you? 1234 01:30:30,041 --> 01:30:33,249 It is out of the question. Allah will only forgive so much. 1235 01:30:33,375 --> 01:30:36,184 Hey Abdul, put your slipper's on. Let's get outta here. 1236 01:30:36,185 --> 01:30:37,249 I don't want to go. 1237 01:30:38,083 --> 01:30:39,598 I've tried everything, but... 1238 01:30:39,599 --> 01:30:41,749 - Get me out of this. - This is something. 1239 01:30:41,833 --> 01:30:45,040 - Can I take this with me? - Okay with me. Come, tickle. 1240 01:30:46,875 --> 01:30:48,125 I'm terribly sorry. 1241 01:30:48,126 --> 01:30:51,874 Now, listen to me. If these three uglies get away with my million 1242 01:30:52,375 --> 01:30:54,381 Dumb-Dumb, then your father's gonna 1243 01:30:54,382 --> 01:30:56,332 owe me a big favour. You know why? 1244 01:30:56,500 --> 01:30:57,500 No. 1245 01:30:57,501 --> 01:30:59,499 Because I'm gonna kill you. And then... 1246 01:30:59,791 --> 01:31:02,374 he's gonna kill you. And then he's gonna kill you. 1247 01:31:02,625 --> 01:31:03,933 And then he's gonna kill you. 1248 01:31:03,934 --> 01:31:05,832 Charmed. There's no need to worry, Hymie. 1249 01:31:06,000 --> 01:31:09,040 You see, they cannot escape. There's no way out of here. 1250 01:31:09,125 --> 01:31:11,749 You are totally secure. 1251 01:31:13,500 --> 01:31:16,249 However, I'm very shaky. 1252 01:31:21,500 --> 01:31:24,415 - Open. - Oh, shit. You got the key? 1253 01:31:24,625 --> 01:31:27,012 - Maybe. - You ungrateful putz. 1254 01:31:27,014 --> 01:31:28,166 Hold it. 1255 01:31:34,416 --> 01:31:36,749 The three little pigs. 1256 01:31:45,333 --> 01:31:47,249 Get me somebody to hide behind. 1257 01:31:50,625 --> 01:31:54,082 This is it, boys. Remember the rules... 1258 01:31:54,604 --> 01:31:55,604 No rules. 1259 01:31:55,605 --> 01:31:58,165 You heard him. Absolutely no rules. 1260 01:31:58,500 --> 01:32:00,375 I told you, there's nothing to worry 1261 01:32:00,376 --> 01:32:02,249 about. There won't be any witnesses. 1262 01:32:02,833 --> 01:32:05,082 No witnesses? 1263 01:32:06,875 --> 01:32:09,332 J.J., they're all around us. I... 1264 01:32:32,166 --> 01:32:34,915 - My money or your life. - Money. 1265 01:32:36,166 --> 01:32:38,999 - He's got the money. - Ha... He's got the money. 1266 01:32:40,666 --> 01:32:41,999 J.J. 1267 01:32:47,541 --> 01:32:48,897 Hey, did you see that picture where 1268 01:32:48,898 --> 01:32:50,290 the bad guys get their last request? 1269 01:32:50,300 --> 01:32:51,300 Yeah. 1270 01:32:51,301 --> 01:32:52,762 Well, some time on the late show. 1271 01:32:52,763 --> 01:32:54,082 It was really a good movie. 1272 01:32:55,750 --> 01:32:58,790 A last meal perhaps? You could lay a little BBQ on us. 1273 01:32:58,916 --> 01:33:01,665 You know, something that you would go over the coals with? 1274 01:33:02,333 --> 01:33:05,040 I'll have some quiche. And a little chocolate mousse. 1275 01:33:06,291 --> 01:33:09,082 Er, Shish kebab... No, no. Couscous. 1276 01:33:10,041 --> 01:33:11,499 Frigging chickasee? 1277 01:33:13,250 --> 01:33:15,082 Chicken fricasse... 1278 01:33:15,833 --> 01:33:18,165 - And you? - I'd like a wine list. 1279 01:33:20,041 --> 01:33:23,124 Where I'm sending you, baby, everything's on the menu. 1280 01:33:42,166 --> 01:33:43,749 We're saved. 1281 01:33:52,250 --> 01:33:54,249 Hey, reminds me of Brooklyn. 1282 01:34:00,666 --> 01:34:02,332 Hi there. 1283 01:34:10,750 --> 01:34:12,582 Surprise. 1284 01:34:17,000 --> 01:34:18,749 You too. 1285 01:34:20,666 --> 01:34:23,165 Any questions, boys? 1286 01:34:29,333 --> 01:34:32,082 - Do you mind a personal remark? - No, of course not. 1287 01:34:32,250 --> 01:34:34,415 That is absolutely gorgeous. 1288 01:34:36,416 --> 01:34:38,499 Hey, one's getting away. 1289 01:34:40,687 --> 01:34:41,687 I got him. 1290 01:34:41,688 --> 01:34:44,249 I'll guard your back. Be careful and watch out. 1291 01:34:44,291 --> 01:34:46,624 No problem. I'll be right back. 1292 01:34:54,250 --> 01:34:56,915 You're okay? Must be a pretty tough guy up there. 1293 01:34:57,041 --> 01:34:58,937 Maybe I should take care of this one. 1294 01:34:58,938 --> 01:34:59,938 He's all yours. 1295 01:35:04,166 --> 01:35:06,582 I think, he's over his head this time. 1296 01:35:21,375 --> 01:35:22,998 Hey. You look like an athlete. 1297 01:35:22,999 --> 01:35:24,874 Wow, thank you. I was an athlete. 1298 01:35:25,000 --> 01:35:26,832 - Oh yeah? - Yeah, I was... 1299 01:35:28,041 --> 01:35:30,259 Oh, then you can probably handle yourself. 1300 01:35:30,260 --> 01:35:32,624 - You're in danger. - I'll protect you, Sister. 1301 01:35:33,500 --> 01:35:35,499 Four, five, six, seven... 1302 01:35:36,916 --> 01:35:38,415 Next. 1303 01:35:42,625 --> 01:35:45,874 Oh, don't do that to me again. This is just beautiful. 1304 01:35:46,000 --> 01:35:47,234 That's European, isn't it? 1305 01:35:47,235 --> 01:35:49,040 - But of course. - Absolutely stunning. 1306 01:35:49,750 --> 01:35:51,665 That's enough. That's enough. 1307 01:35:54,291 --> 01:35:56,499 - A thousand thanks, Sisters. - Bless you, my friend. 1308 01:36:02,291 --> 01:36:04,124 Over there. Yeah. 1309 01:36:04,250 --> 01:36:07,582 Come on, you brat. You pervert. 1310 01:36:07,833 --> 01:36:10,249 Hey, how do you like this for a hose job? 1311 01:36:16,000 --> 01:36:18,249 Oh yeah? Salute. 1312 01:36:19,666 --> 01:36:23,665 - Hello, Chaos. - Look J.J., a flower. Nice, huh? 1313 01:36:24,000 --> 01:36:25,749 See ya. 1314 01:36:27,250 --> 01:36:29,198 And I figured that 30,000 we owe you... 1315 01:36:29,199 --> 01:36:30,999 This will more than take care of it. 1316 01:36:32,416 --> 01:36:33,834 May I buy you a drink? 1317 01:36:33,836 --> 01:36:35,125 - Yes. - Cherie. 1318 01:36:35,666 --> 01:36:38,790 Cherie? I guess everyone... They seem to be so busy. 1319 01:36:43,541 --> 01:36:44,749 That was fun, J.J. 1320 01:36:48,250 --> 01:36:50,540 - Get those guys. - You got it. 1321 01:36:51,125 --> 01:36:53,415 Fly, baby. Fly. 1322 01:36:54,541 --> 01:36:57,999 Help is on the way. Justice will triumph. 1323 01:37:00,875 --> 01:37:04,249 Sorry, bad guys. Carry on. 1324 01:37:04,875 --> 01:37:08,030 Raining like a son-of-a-bitch over there. You need any help here? 1325 01:37:08,031 --> 01:37:09,082 Yes. Inject that. 1326 01:37:09,250 --> 01:37:13,249 Fine. Oh, the plague. I've seen this before... 1327 01:37:24,333 --> 01:37:28,249 No, Jackie. J.J... Cannonball... You got it. 1328 01:37:40,250 --> 01:37:42,415 - Friend or foe? - Have a guess. 1329 01:37:45,250 --> 01:37:47,375 - It's a bird. - It's a plane. 1330 01:37:47,377 --> 01:37:48,666 It's Hymie. 1331 01:37:57,500 --> 01:37:59,999 Would you hold this for me, please? I would like to really... 1332 01:38:00,083 --> 01:38:03,665 get a good look at that ring again. It's truly lovely. 1333 01:38:08,083 --> 01:38:09,624 Oh my God... 1334 01:38:17,541 --> 01:38:19,832 oh, look... 1335 01:38:20,250 --> 01:38:24,540 - J.J., it's a vision. - No... No, it's us. 1336 01:38:29,625 --> 01:38:32,040 Oh, Sister Betty. 1337 01:38:32,500 --> 01:38:34,984 "Him" didn't know you had that in you. 1338 01:38:34,985 --> 01:38:35,985 "Him" will. 1339 01:38:37,000 --> 01:38:39,374 We're here to help you win. 1340 01:38:39,875 --> 01:38:41,978 - Did you miss me? - So much... 1341 01:38:41,979 --> 01:38:44,624 Oh thanks. A little more than that? 1342 01:38:45,250 --> 01:38:47,999 I'm glad you missed me that much. 1343 01:38:48,791 --> 01:38:50,999 All these wonderful gals. 1344 01:38:52,500 --> 01:38:54,582 Fenderbaum. 1345 01:38:56,333 --> 01:38:58,999 Boy-nun, boy-boy, boy-nun. 1346 01:39:02,333 --> 01:39:06,040 Fenderbaum. What are you doing with my partner? 1347 01:39:06,500 --> 01:39:08,332 - Partner? - Partner? 1348 01:39:08,500 --> 01:39:12,165 Yes. I have bought the Pinto Ranch. 1349 01:39:12,583 --> 01:39:14,040 Yes. 1350 01:39:15,625 --> 01:39:19,165 And why not? I have a weakness for blondes... 1351 01:39:19,375 --> 01:39:22,249 and women without moustaches. 1352 01:39:24,500 --> 01:39:27,230 Before you do any hiring you tell 1353 01:39:27,231 --> 01:39:30,374 your partner about your liabilities. 1354 01:39:30,500 --> 01:39:32,915 You know, you have a very big mouth. 1355 01:39:34,333 --> 01:39:36,582 - My sheikh. - My partner. 1356 01:39:36,791 --> 01:39:40,082 My Sheik, I will need just a little operating capital. 1357 01:39:40,666 --> 01:39:42,415 How much? 1358 01:39:43,541 --> 01:39:47,124 - Nine million dollars? - Nine million? 1359 01:39:47,375 --> 01:39:50,874 A drop in the well. I will give you 18 million. 1360 01:39:51,000 --> 01:39:52,971 That way you will have some petty cash. 1361 01:39:52,972 --> 01:39:55,082 Thank you, my sheikh. Where are you going? 1362 01:39:55,750 --> 01:39:58,040 To win the race. 1363 01:39:58,500 --> 01:40:02,749 To share in my good fortune with my fellow Cannonballers 1364 01:40:03,000 --> 01:40:07,999 I have decided to raise the prize money to two million dollars. 1365 01:40:09,791 --> 01:40:12,749 - How many zeros is in that? - I don't know. 1366 01:40:13,875 --> 01:40:16,119 - We'll split it three ways? - Yeah. 1367 01:40:16,120 --> 01:40:17,999 Come, my sweethearts, we go. 1368 01:40:27,291 --> 01:40:29,290 Hey, Fenderbaum, Blake. Come here a minute. 1369 01:40:30,000 --> 01:40:32,415 What is it, Frank? Can't you see we're busy? 1370 01:40:32,541 --> 01:40:34,395 I know that. That's why I want to get 1371 01:40:34,396 --> 01:40:36,249 a head start. See you in Connecticut. 1372 01:41:32,750 --> 01:41:37,499 Oh, so sorry. You are average player. Please try again later. 1373 01:42:06,625 --> 01:42:08,629 You gotta have to stop this thing. I can't 1374 01:42:08,630 --> 01:42:10,540 examine you with all this moving around. 1375 01:42:10,625 --> 01:42:13,495 I can't stop. I can't stop. Just keep 1376 01:42:13,496 --> 01:42:16,290 me alive until we reach Connecticut. 1377 01:42:25,166 --> 01:42:27,832 So much for Abdul... 1378 01:42:28,583 --> 01:42:32,499 It's money in the bank, I tell you. A million bucks. 1379 01:42:32,666 --> 01:42:35,540 The whole of a million bucks apiece. 1380 01:42:41,625 --> 01:42:42,636 That's Frank. 1381 01:42:42,637 --> 01:42:45,332 Where'd he learn to drive like that? 1382 01:42:45,583 --> 01:42:47,915 I don't know, but don't let him pass us. 1383 01:42:48,250 --> 01:42:50,749 - Floor it. - It's floored. 1384 01:42:51,291 --> 01:42:54,332 Hi Frank, chicky-lover baby. Hi there. 1385 01:42:54,500 --> 01:42:56,077 Remember me, Fenderbaum? Listen, 1386 01:42:56,078 --> 01:42:57,999 whoever gets to the finish line first 1387 01:42:58,250 --> 01:43:00,499 we split it 50/50, okay? 1388 01:43:02,000 --> 01:43:03,374 70/30 1389 01:43:04,875 --> 01:43:07,374 How about 10%? 1390 01:43:07,875 --> 01:43:09,290 Forget it. 1391 01:43:33,000 --> 01:43:35,790 Forget it, guys. You're four hours and 15 Martinis late. 1392 01:43:35,875 --> 01:43:37,457 Better go in the bar and get gassed up, 1393 01:43:37,458 --> 01:43:38,999 because you're racing back tomorrow... 1394 01:43:39,291 --> 01:43:40,291 at noon. 1395 01:43:40,292 --> 01:43:43,165 Park it. I'll see you in the bar. 1396 01:43:44,000 --> 01:43:47,332 Thanks. We'll leave tomorrow and we'll be back in four days. 1397 01:43:47,583 --> 01:43:51,374 Then Atlantic City and a weekend you'll never forget. 1398 01:43:51,500 --> 01:43:55,040 Once again you have brought shame and disgrace to our tribe 1399 01:43:55,166 --> 01:43:57,008 by not winning the Cannonball Run. 1400 01:43:57,009 --> 01:43:59,249 But Pop, there was this doctor in the car. 1401 01:43:59,375 --> 01:44:01,915 - He gave me a... It was kismet. - I warn you. 1402 01:44:02,125 --> 01:44:05,290 Tomorrow's race is the last Cannonball I am financing. 1403 01:44:05,416 --> 01:44:07,999 If you do not win, do not bother to come home. 1404 01:44:08,083 --> 01:44:10,832 Pop, don't worry. I can't lose. 1405 01:44:11,041 --> 01:44:13,672 I have hired the winner of this Cannonball 1406 01:44:13,673 --> 01:44:15,874 to be my co-driver in the next one. 1407 01:44:16,250 --> 01:44:20,249 I'd like you to meet him. I have told him so much about you, Pop. 1408 01:44:23,500 --> 01:44:27,540 Excuse me, Sir. I'd like you to meet my Pop. 1409 01:44:46,083 --> 01:44:48,097 The Cannonball is a race from California 1410 01:44:48,098 --> 01:44:49,915 to Connecticut. We have lots of fun. 1411 01:44:50,000 --> 01:44:53,082 And then... The Sheik... What they... 1412 01:44:53,750 --> 01:44:56,624 I can get this. Just a minute. I can do it. Wait a minute. 1413 01:44:57,083 --> 01:44:58,925 - And... - We'll start from the slap. 1414 01:44:58,926 --> 01:44:59,926 From the slap? 1415 01:45:00,333 --> 01:45:02,374 Sir. Er... 1416 01:45:05,833 --> 01:45:08,540 Just pick it up right from the slap. 1417 01:45:10,041 --> 01:45:11,790 Sir. 1418 01:45:11,875 --> 01:45:14,041 Sorry, we get this in a minute. It's 1419 01:45:14,042 --> 01:45:15,915 alright. We get it. Here we go. 1420 01:45:16,291 --> 01:45:19,082 Oh, Sir. The Cannonball is a race 1421 01:45:19,083 --> 01:45:21,249 from Connecticut to your ass. 1422 01:45:35,750 --> 01:45:38,999 Now, if your mother could kiss like that... 1423 01:45:39,333 --> 01:45:42,124 We're just gonna place it. Ready? Huh? 1424 01:45:44,625 --> 01:45:47,082 Is that what you want? You got it. 1425 01:45:47,250 --> 01:45:48,632 - Okay? - I don't trust you. 1426 01:45:48,633 --> 01:45:51,249 No, you got it, I swear. I'm just gonna place it. 1427 01:45:54,166 --> 01:45:57,332 Oh shit, if I wasn't getting a lot of money... 1428 01:45:58,125 --> 01:46:01,374 - Don't get it from the ground. - Where might I gonna get it from? 1429 01:46:01,500 --> 01:46:04,249 Get it from here. This is fresh. 1430 01:46:04,666 --> 01:46:07,749 - There'll be a mound here. - I got fresh stuff here. 1431 01:46:07,833 --> 01:46:11,790 Nobody's ever peed on this. I'm just gonna place it. 1432 01:46:15,625 --> 01:46:18,332 How animals live on this shit? 1433 01:46:40,291 --> 01:46:44,374 Listen, if we have these nuns God will be our co-pilot. 1434 01:46:44,750 --> 01:46:47,915 I don't care. You listen to me. Listen to me. 1435 01:46:50,791 --> 01:46:53,082 We're not taking those nuns along. 1436 01:46:56,083 --> 01:46:59,040 What is the matter with you? I can't work like this. 1437 01:47:00,791 --> 01:47:02,442 She's winking at me. 1438 01:47:02,444 --> 01:47:05,250 - Hold there. - She's to wave. 1439 01:47:05,291 --> 01:47:06,314 Alright. 1440 01:47:06,315 --> 01:47:09,385 I have no protection. She is... Goddammit... 1441 01:47:09,386 --> 01:47:10,749 Pick it up. 1442 01:47:11,625 --> 01:47:15,415 - Lepers? New York? - No: "Lepers? Big Apple?" 1443 01:47:16,625 --> 01:47:19,374 I order you... 1444 01:47:22,833 --> 01:47:24,233 J.J. Long time no see. 1445 01:47:24,234 --> 01:47:26,624 Captain Chaos, nice to see you again. 1446 01:47:28,121 --> 01:47:29,121 Would you do it again? 1447 01:47:29,122 --> 01:47:30,750 - Yeah, certainly. - Here we go. 1448 01:47:37,666 --> 01:47:40,290 Keep it rolling. Here we go. 1449 01:47:44,541 --> 01:47:45,541 - J.J. - Captain Chaos. 1450 01:47:45,542 --> 01:47:46,587 Long time no see. 1451 01:47:46,588 --> 01:47:47,749 Good to see you again. 1452 01:47:47,875 --> 01:47:48,919 Good to see you. 1453 01:47:48,920 --> 01:47:51,249 Listen, I'd deem it a personal pruverage... privilege, 1454 01:47:51,375 --> 01:47:53,406 if I can get in that bomb and get my teeth 1455 01:47:53,407 --> 01:47:55,249 fixed. Turn around, let's start again. 1456 01:47:58,541 --> 01:47:59,644 - J.J. - Captain Chaos. 1457 01:47:59,646 --> 01:48:00,852 Long time no see. 1458 01:48:00,853 --> 01:48:02,165 Good to see you again. 1459 01:48:02,833 --> 01:48:05,665 I'd deem it a privilege you let me ride in the bomb. 1460 01:48:06,166 --> 01:48:07,982 Did you understand that at all? Just 1461 01:48:07,983 --> 01:48:09,749 turn around and let me do it again. 1462 01:48:13,750 --> 01:48:16,624 Listen, isn't somebody gonna say "Cut"? 110697

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