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1
00:00:39,959 --> 00:00:42,155
Williams to Solo. Do you read me?
2
00:00:42,328 --> 00:00:43,489
Loud and clear. Go ahead.
3
00:00:43,663 --> 00:00:45,859
38th Street clear
as far as Eighth Avenue.
4
00:00:46,032 --> 00:00:50,333
Repeat. No sign of possible Thrush activity
as far as Eighth Avenue.
5
00:00:50,503 --> 00:00:53,404
Roget. Ova! and out. “Na?
6
00:00:53,706 --> 00:00:55,572
[OVER RADIO]
Williams reports 38th Street clear.
7
00:00:55,742 --> 00:00:57,608
- Nat a Thrushie in sight.
- I wouldn't bet on it.
8
00:01:05,618 --> 00:01:07,780
How soon before we reach
the rendezvous point?
9
00:01:07,954 --> 00:01:09,513
In about six minutes, we should, uh...
10
00:01:10,857 --> 00:01:12,882
Wail a second. Hang on. “Na.
11
00:01:13,392 --> 00:01:16,089
- Solo here.
- I'm at Checkpoint David.
12
00:01:16,262 --> 00:01:18,959
- All clear as far as Madison.
- Roger.
13
00:01:19,132 --> 00:01:24,332
Helicopter 490 has made a thorough check
of Zone G, as in “George.“
14
00:01:24,504 --> 00:01:26,029
No foreseeable problems.
15
00:01:26,539 --> 00:01:27,768
Did you hear that, IIIya?
16
00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:31,399
I heard, but I'm still dubious.
17
00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:02,533
WAVERLY:
Yes, I've already paid my compliments...
18
00:03:02,702 --> 00:03:04,636
...to the people in Section Five.
19
00:03:05,705 --> 00:03:09,938
That dummy they made
is astonishingly like me.
20
00:03:10,743 --> 00:03:14,737
So much so that I'm rather glad now
Thrush didn't manage to destroy it.
21
00:03:14,914 --> 00:03:19,511
It might be a good idea to cancel
all public appearances for a while, sir.
22
00:03:19,685 --> 00:03:22,313
Well, perhaps so, Mr. Solo.
23
00:03:23,122 --> 00:03:25,682
But there's one
that I can't possibly avoid.
24
00:03:25,858 --> 00:03:27,189
Nor do I wish to do so.
25
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,294
Blair University.
26
00:03:29,695 --> 00:03:31,561
My alma mater.
27
00:03:32,398 --> 00:03:35,993
And certainly, Thrush isn't gonna prevent
me from getting that honorary degree.
28
00:03:36,168 --> 00:03:38,364
I'm quite certain that Thrush
will do their best...
29
00:03:38,537 --> 00:03:40,699
...to make sure the award is posthumous.
30
00:03:42,375 --> 00:03:44,469
I was rather hoping
that you and Mr. Kuryakin...
31
00:03:44,644 --> 00:03:46,612
...would do your best to see that it isn't.
32
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,272
IIIya's already there, uh.
scouting the terrain. I'll join him tomorrow.
33
00:03:50,449 --> 00:03:51,848
Good.
34
00:04:00,159 --> 00:04:02,355
Oh, and Mr. Solo...
35
00:04:03,462 --> 00:04:08,195
Mr. Solo,
Blair is a coeducation institution...
36
00:04:08,367 --> 00:04:12,270
...so try to curb your
predatory instincts, will you?
37
00:04:13,072 --> 00:04:14,597
Yes, sir.
38
00:04:17,576 --> 00:04:19,567
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
39
00:04:21,314 --> 00:04:23,305
MAN [OVER SPEAKER]: Attention all students.
40
00:04:23,482 --> 00:04:26,941
There will be
a mammoth protest meeting...
41
00:04:27,119 --> 00:04:30,987
...in front of Felton Hall today at 4 p.m.
42
00:04:31,157 --> 00:04:33,216
All students are invited.
43
00:04:33,392 --> 00:04:37,522
I repeat, all students are invited.
44
00:04:37,697 --> 00:04:41,998
Volunteers, please report
to protest headquarters.
45
00:04:42,168 --> 00:04:44,899
Attention all students.
46
00:04:45,071 --> 00:04:47,472
And I mean all students.
47
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:51,577
Come to the mammoth protest meeting
in front of Felton Ha"...
48
00:05:01,087 --> 00:05:04,284
Uh, excuse me.
How does one go about joining the group?
49
00:05:04,790 --> 00:05:07,885
- You wanna protest?
- Very much.
50
00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:09,459
What are we protesting?
51
00:05:10,396 --> 00:05:11,864
MINERVA:
That.
52
00:05:12,531 --> 00:05:13,794
ILLYA:
Oh, I'm with you.
53
00:05:17,636 --> 00:05:19,968
I haven't seen you before.
54
00:05:20,139 --> 00:05:21,607
I'm Minerva Dwight.
55
00:05:21,774 --> 00:05:23,538
Uh, IIIya Kuryakin.
56
00:05:23,709 --> 00:05:26,110
You new left or old left?
57
00:05:27,813 --> 00:05:30,009
Well, I favor
the moderately conservative left...
58
00:05:30,182 --> 00:05:32,480
...slightly to the right of Rasputin.
59
00:05:33,452 --> 00:05:35,477
Who decided on the demonstration?
60
00:05:35,654 --> 00:05:38,282
- That was Gregory's idea.
Gregory?
61
00:05:38,457 --> 00:05:42,451
Gregory Haymish, our off-campus agitator.
Every group has one, you know.
62
00:05:43,129 --> 00:05:45,291
Yes, I know. Uh, is he here?
63
00:05:45,464 --> 00:05:47,330
No, but he'll be at the demonstration.
64
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:49,832
I see. Uh, may I?
65
00:05:59,945 --> 00:06:01,208
MINERVA:
Thank you.
66
00:06:01,380 --> 00:06:02,609
Don't mention it.
67
00:06:09,155 --> 00:06:11,146
[JEERING]
68
00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:28,604
Beautiful. Beautiful.
69
00:06:37,216 --> 00:06:40,277
Greg, IIIya's just joined the group.
70
00:06:40,453 --> 00:06:44,651
HAYMISH: Welcome.
Welcome to the way-outs, big daddy.
71
00:06:46,926 --> 00:06:51,796
[SHOUTS]
All right, group, I wanna hear rebellion!
72
00:06:51,964 --> 00:06:53,955
[STUDENTS YELLING]
73
00:07:05,044 --> 00:07:06,273
ILLYA:
What's the matter?
74
00:07:06,445 --> 00:07:08,413
I don't want Daddy to see me.
75
00:07:08,581 --> 00:07:09,810
Daddy?
76
00:07:11,350 --> 00:07:12,545
This is Dean Dwight.
77
00:07:12,985 --> 00:07:15,079
May I have your attention, please?
78
00:07:15,254 --> 00:07:17,279
Quiet, everybody.
79
00:07:18,724 --> 00:07:22,388
This demonstration
is in violation of university rules.
80
00:07:22,561 --> 00:07:24,393
Please disperse immediately.
81
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:31,226
Unless you disperse immediately...
82
00:07:31,403 --> 00:07:34,429
...I shall order the campus police
to take appropriate measures.
83
00:07:40,179 --> 00:07:41,476
This is your last chance.
84
00:07:41,647 --> 00:07:45,675
Unless you disperse immediately,
you will all be arrested.
85
00:07:46,218 --> 00:07:47,686
Everybody down.
86
00:07:52,725 --> 00:07:54,454
MINERVA:
Come on. What are you waiting for?
87
00:07:55,094 --> 00:07:58,189
All right, officers, do your duty.
88
00:08:03,502 --> 00:08:04,867
[STUDENTS LAUGHING]
89
00:08:10,209 --> 00:08:12,143
You're not supposed to cooperate.
90
00:08:12,311 --> 00:08:14,712
- Not even a little?
- Absolutely not.
91
00:08:16,015 --> 00:08:18,416
HAYMISH:
Police brutality!
92
00:08:18,584 --> 00:08:20,575
[STUDENTS JEERING]
93
00:08:30,629 --> 00:08:32,620
[GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING]
94
00:08:42,208 --> 00:08:44,870
Hi. I have an appointment
with Dean Dwight.
95
00:08:45,044 --> 00:08:47,103
You'll have to wait your tum.
96
00:08:47,279 --> 00:08:48,508
SOLO:
I beg your pardon.
97
00:08:48,681 --> 00:08:51,480
No offense...
98
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:55,052
...but I have an appointment too,
and I'm next, heh.
99
00:08:55,221 --> 00:08:56,655
Right behind Mr. Trumbull.
100
00:08:57,122 --> 00:09:00,524
- Who's he?
- He's the head of the board of regents.
101
00:09:00,693 --> 00:09:01,956
And he's in there right now.
102
00:09:04,863 --> 00:09:08,026
The arrests were entirely unnecessary,
Dean Dwight.
103
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,761
Entirely unnecessary.
Think of the publicity.
104
00:09:11,937 --> 00:09:15,373
But the university rules
specifically forbid such demonstrations.
105
00:09:15,541 --> 00:09:17,873
What do I care about university rules?
106
00:09:18,043 --> 00:09:20,341
Oh, the papers will have
a field day on this one.
107
00:09:20,512 --> 00:09:23,277
Besides, students have been
staging demonstrations all year...
108
00:09:23,449 --> 00:09:25,315
...and you haven't had them arrested.
Why now?
109
00:09:25,484 --> 00:09:28,977
I've been patient with them until now,
but patience has its limits.
110
00:09:29,154 --> 00:09:30,883
Indeed it does.
111
00:09:31,056 --> 00:09:33,889
And my patience with you
is fast reaching those limits.
112
00:09:35,227 --> 00:09:38,162
He actually wanted me
to cut open a frog.
113
00:09:38,330 --> 00:09:40,059
Ugh! Can you imagine?
114
00:09:40,232 --> 00:09:41,461
Unbelievable.
115
00:09:41,634 --> 00:09:43,966
Well, I walked out on the course
and never came back.
116
00:09:44,136 --> 00:09:45,831
And then there was French history.
117
00:09:46,005 --> 00:09:49,737
All those kings,
and every one of them a Louis.
118
00:09:49,908 --> 00:09:50,898
[SOLO CHUCKLES]
119
00:09:51,076 --> 00:09:53,807
Heh, you'd have to be a census take!
to keep them straight.
120
00:09:53,979 --> 00:09:56,414
So I flunked out on that course too.
121
00:09:57,049 --> 00:09:59,177
I was never very good at history myself,
Miss, uh...?
122
00:09:59,718 --> 00:10:01,550
- Darling.
- What?
123
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,518
Uh, Patricia Darling.
124
00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:05,179
SOLO:
Mm.
125
00:10:05,357 --> 00:10:07,018
How many courses are you flunking?
126
00:10:07,192 --> 00:10:09,923
FI--? Uh, well, I...
127
00:10:10,095 --> 00:10:11,563
I can't tell yet.
128
00:10:11,730 --> 00:10:12,959
TRUMBULL:
Just remember.
129
00:10:13,132 --> 00:10:17,592
I hold you personally responsible for any
bad publicity attached to this incident.
130
00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:19,260
SOLO:
How do you do? I'm Napoleon Solo.
131
00:10:19,438 --> 00:10:21,736
I have an appointment with Dean Dwight.
132
00:10:21,907 --> 00:10:23,636
Oh, I'm Dwight.
133
00:10:23,809 --> 00:10:27,336
This is, uh, Mr. Jonathan Trumbull,
chairman of our board of regents.
134
00:10:27,513 --> 00:10:29,504
- How are you?
- We just did that.
135
00:10:29,682 --> 00:10:32,617
DWIGHT:
Well, uh, heh...
136
00:10:32,785 --> 00:10:34,310
PATRICIA:
Dean Dwight?
137
00:10:34,486 --> 00:10:36,818
Oh, not again, Patricia.
138
00:10:36,989 --> 00:10:38,423
I'm sorry, Dean Dwight.
139
00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:41,855
- What is it this time, frogs 01 Louis?
- Both.
140
00:10:42,461 --> 00:10:44,395
I'll talk to you later.
141
00:10:46,865 --> 00:10:49,527
Alex Waverly called to tell me
you would be arriving, Mr. Solo.
142
00:10:49,702 --> 00:10:51,329
I trust you have everything well in hand.
143
00:10:51,503 --> 00:10:53,801
Far from it, Mr. Solo. Far from it.
144
00:10:53,972 --> 00:10:57,431
I realized a demonstration at the ceremony
would make security more difficult...
145
00:10:57,609 --> 00:11:00,078
...so I decided to put a stop
to all demonstrations.
146
00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:02,077
I had the main group
of picketers arrested.
147
00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:05,148
Now Trumbull threatens to have me
removed unless I drop the charges.
148
00:11:05,317 --> 00:11:07,308
I think we can handle
the demonstrators, sir.
149
00:11:07,486 --> 00:11:10,751
A matter of principle, Mr. Solo.
A matter of principle.
150
00:11:10,923 --> 00:11:12,152
I will not back down.
151
00:11:12,324 --> 00:11:14,315
[RADIO BEEPING]
152
00:11:14,927 --> 00:11:16,656
Excuse me.
153
00:11:17,629 --> 00:11:18,619
“Na?
154
00:11:18,797 --> 00:11:20,788
[GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING]
155
00:11:22,534 --> 00:11:25,162
Are we allowed to put bail
on our expense accounts?
156
00:11:25,337 --> 00:11:27,305
I gather you're in durance vile.
157
00:11:27,473 --> 00:11:28,941
I am indeed.
158
00:11:29,108 --> 00:11:32,078
SOLO: You seem to have
an affinity for those places.
159
00:11:32,945 --> 00:11:36,006
It was in the line of duty. Would you
please come down and get me out of here?
160
00:11:36,181 --> 00:11:38,115
Me too. Me too.
161
00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:39,876
[OVER RADIO]
Me tau.
162
00:11:40,052 --> 00:11:42,419
That's Minerva. What's she doing there?
163
00:11:43,055 --> 00:11:44,284
I beg your pardon.
164
00:11:45,224 --> 00:11:47,090
DWIGHT:
Minerva Dwight. That's my daughter.
165
00:11:47,259 --> 00:11:48,624
She's there, isn't she?
166
00:11:49,294 --> 00:11:50,659
I'm afraid so, sir.
167
00:11:50,829 --> 00:11:54,129
We'll get you out shortly, IIIya.
Meanwhile, just relax and enjoy the music.
168
00:11:54,299 --> 00:11:55,289
DWIGHT:
It's too much.
169
00:11:55,467 --> 00:11:58,869
First this assassination business,
and now my own daughter arrested.
170
00:11:59,037 --> 00:12:00,869
Well, I'm sorry about that, Mr. Dwight.
171
00:12:01,039 --> 00:12:05,601
It's not your fault, Mr. Solo.
It's just that the year's been so had already.
172
00:12:05,778 --> 00:12:07,542
The free-speech riots last fall...
173
00:12:07,713 --> 00:12:09,738
...the basketball scandal this spring,
and now this.
174
00:12:09,915 --> 00:12:12,680
It's too much for one man. It's...
175
00:12:13,652 --> 00:12:14,983
...just too much.
176
00:12:19,925 --> 00:12:22,189
TRUMBULL:
I'm sure he's an U.N.C.L.E. agent.
177
00:12:22,361 --> 00:12:24,728
Then there are probably more.
178
00:12:24,897 --> 00:12:27,628
U.N.C.L.E. agents tend to hunt in packs.
179
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,427
TRUMBULL:
I say kill him.
180
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:32,764
Well, I wasn't suggesting
we give him a party, Trumbull.
181
00:12:32,938 --> 00:12:37,068
Merely that we wait until
he contacts some of his associates.
182
00:12:37,242 --> 00:12:39,438
Learn to kill efficiently, Trumbull.
183
00:12:39,611 --> 00:12:42,740
You'll save yourself
a great deal of time and trouble.
184
00:12:42,915 --> 00:12:46,374
I can't stand waiting.
It makes me nervous.
185
00:12:46,552 --> 00:12:49,351
Everything makes you nervous, Trumbull.
186
00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,512
[GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING]
187
00:12:58,096 --> 00:13:02,693
It's all right, you're free to go.
The charges have been dismissed.
188
00:13:03,335 --> 00:13:04,769
HAYMISH:
Everybody down.
189
00:13:04,937 --> 00:13:06,166
MINERVA:
IIIya.
190
00:13:08,340 --> 00:13:10,536
What are you doing?
191
00:13:10,843 --> 00:13:13,540
We can't knuckle under
to the establishment now.
192
00:13:13,712 --> 00:13:15,737
We must stand our ground.
193
00:13:15,914 --> 00:13:18,713
Here we are and here we stay.
194
00:13:18,884 --> 00:13:22,115
We shall not be moved.
195
00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:26,852
GUARD:
Jackson! Barnes!
196
00:13:27,326 --> 00:13:29,818
[CHEERING]
197
00:13:35,434 --> 00:13:36,731
Cossacks!
198
00:13:42,241 --> 00:13:46,041
We have called the dean's bluff and won!
199
00:13:46,211 --> 00:13:47,201
[GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING]
200
00:13:47,379 --> 00:13:50,474
Now he wouldn't dare try to stop us
from putting on our demonstration...
201
00:13:50,649 --> 00:13:52,083
...at the graduation.
202
00:13:52,251 --> 00:13:56,245
When Waverly begins his speech,
we all grab our signs...
203
00:13:56,421 --> 00:13:59,550
...and march right down to the podium!
204
00:13:59,725 --> 00:14:01,625
[ALL CHEER]
205
00:14:01,793 --> 00:14:03,887
ILLYA: Uh, do we have to march
down to the podium?
206
00:14:04,062 --> 00:14:07,157
Couldn't we just, uh.
hold them up at the back?
207
00:14:07,332 --> 00:14:11,599
Oh, that would be the nice,
middle-class way of doing it.
208
00:14:11,770 --> 00:14:13,397
- Are we middle-class?
CROWD: No!
209
00:14:13,572 --> 00:14:16,303
Then we march
right down to the podium!
210
00:14:16,475 --> 00:14:18,466
CROWD:
Yeah!
211
00:14:20,779 --> 00:14:22,770
Turned up anything, hmm?
212
00:14:22,948 --> 00:14:24,313
I'm not sure.
213
00:14:24,483 --> 00:14:27,919
This is our big chance...
214
00:14:28,086 --> 00:14:30,282
...to hit the establishment where it hurts.
215
00:14:30,455 --> 00:14:31,616
So let's make the most of it.
216
00:14:31,790 --> 00:14:32,780
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
217
00:14:32,958 --> 00:14:34,357
I'll get it.
218
00:14:35,093 --> 00:14:38,154
I think this, uh, demonstration
is a little too convenient.
219
00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:40,526
I smell Thrush, maybe, huh?
220
00:14:40,699 --> 00:14:42,497
ILLYA:
So do I, but I don't know who.
221
00:14:43,068 --> 00:14:44,593
Uh, just a minute.
222
00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:47,102
Greg, it's for you.
223
00:14:48,373 --> 00:14:50,432
SOLO:
What about him, baby?
224
00:14:51,577 --> 00:14:52,806
Hello?
225
00:14:53,478 --> 00:14:55,640
ILLYA:
He's just a misguided extremist.
226
00:14:55,814 --> 00:14:59,375
Hmm. A Thrush extremist, maybe, huh?
227
00:14:59,551 --> 00:15:00,780
Maybe.
228
00:15:00,953 --> 00:15:02,546
Yes, he's here now...
229
00:15:02,721 --> 00:15:06,248
...and he's talking to the blond-headed kid
that joined the group this morning.
230
00:15:06,425 --> 00:15:10,328
Yeah. Well, I figured
he was an U.N.C.L.E. agent.
231
00:15:11,029 --> 00:15:14,260
Beautiful. All right.
232
00:15:14,433 --> 00:15:15,832
You have the men there...
233
00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:19,403
...and I'll give our two little U.N.C.L.E. mice
a whiff of cheese...
234
00:15:19,571 --> 00:15:23,007
...that will have them scurrying
right into the trap.
235
00:15:29,348 --> 00:15:32,010
HAYMISH: That's all for tonight.
See you tomorrow morning.
236
00:15:32,184 --> 00:15:35,484
CROWD:
Good night. See you later.
237
00:15:38,023 --> 00:15:40,151
IIIya, will I see you tomorrow?
238
00:15:40,325 --> 00:15:42,157
I have a lot of work to do tomorrow.
239
00:15:42,327 --> 00:15:46,264
Dear IIIya,
you're so hopelessly middle-class.
240
00:15:46,431 --> 00:15:49,560
But I like you anyway.
241
00:15:49,735 --> 00:15:51,203
Well, I'm glad.
242
00:15:51,370 --> 00:15:54,067
You know, I'm a biology major.
243
00:15:54,239 --> 00:15:56,640
I'm taking a course in eugenics.
244
00:15:56,808 --> 00:15:58,708
- Well, that's nice.
- Well, don't you think...
245
00:15:58,877 --> 00:16:01,903
...that the improvement of the human race
by selective breeding is important?
246
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,775
- Oh, I do, I do.
- Good.
247
00:16:03,949 --> 00:16:07,112
Because I have a hunch that you and I--
- You and I what?
248
00:16:07,285 --> 00:16:10,220
Just think of the offspring
we could produce.
249
00:16:10,389 --> 00:16:16,886
Why, in three or four generations,
it could be a race of superman.
250
00:16:17,062 --> 00:16:18,928
Almost.
251
00:16:19,097 --> 00:16:20,587
Well, it's a thought-provoking idea...
252
00:16:20,766 --> 00:16:23,758
...but, uh, don't you think
you should finish the course first?
253
00:16:23,935 --> 00:16:25,300
What?
254
00:16:26,104 --> 00:16:29,199
Oh. Well, um...
255
00:16:29,374 --> 00:16:31,604
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
256
00:16:37,416 --> 00:16:39,407
How is it that the clouds
still hang on you?
257
00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:42,349
Hmm? Oh.
258
00:16:42,521 --> 00:16:45,115
You asked me this morning...
259
00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:48,123
...if I remembered any members
of the group acting strangely.
260
00:16:48,293 --> 00:16:50,057
SOLO:
Mm-hm. And have you?
261
00:16:50,228 --> 00:16:54,256
Yeah, well, I seem to recall
a guy named Tony Wills...
262
00:16:54,433 --> 00:16:58,495
...talking to a couple
of very strange cats.
263
00:16:58,670 --> 00:17:00,536
How strange?
264
00:17:00,706 --> 00:17:04,802
The double-breasted types
with bulges right here.
265
00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:08,170
If you wanted to find Tony...
266
00:17:08,947 --> 00:17:11,279
...if you cut straight across the quad...
267
00:17:11,450 --> 00:17:14,385
...right in front of the girls' dorm,
you'll find the student union.
268
00:17:14,553 --> 00:17:16,544
- He'll be there.
- Yeah.
269
00:17:16,722 --> 00:17:18,247
Thank you.
270
00:17:18,857 --> 00:17:20,621
Don't mention it.
271
00:17:42,848 --> 00:17:44,111
[GRUNTING]
272
00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:55,990
- In there.
- That's the girls' dorm.
273
00:17:56,161 --> 00:17:57,993
SOLO:
Is that bad?
274
00:18:09,841 --> 00:18:12,811
J.D.'s from one of those
fraternities again.
275
00:18:12,978 --> 00:18:15,072
That's the third time this week.
276
00:18:15,514 --> 00:18:17,380
They're such ju--
277
00:18:29,861 --> 00:18:31,920
SOLO:
Oh, sorry.
278
00:18:38,069 --> 00:18:40,003
When I was in college,
they used to scream.
279
00:18:40,172 --> 00:18:41,230
Come on.
280
00:18:52,551 --> 00:18:53,950
Juveniles.
281
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,145
ILLYA: Where's the fire door?
PATRICIA: Over there.
282
00:18:57,322 --> 00:18:58,653
MINERVA:
Get the kids.
283
00:18:58,824 --> 00:19:00,451
[GRUNTING]
284
00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:03,723
PATRICIA:
Pillow fight!
285
00:19:03,895 --> 00:19:05,124
GIRL:
Pillow fight!
286
00:19:06,097 --> 00:19:07,531
[GIGGLING]
287
00:19:09,835 --> 00:19:11,200
[SHRIEKING]
288
00:19:30,922 --> 00:19:32,287
GIRL:
Get him!
289
00:19:56,581 --> 00:19:58,777
And I thought you were middle-class.
290
00:19:58,950 --> 00:20:02,909
Well, appearances can be deceptive.
291
00:20:03,088 --> 00:20:06,752
But you must take better care of yourself,
for the sake of our future children.
292
00:20:07,225 --> 00:20:09,626
- Our superman?
- Mm-hm.
293
00:20:09,794 --> 00:20:13,059
Would you rather have
super-boys or super-girls?
294
00:20:14,232 --> 00:20:17,224
Hey, you know, that's the first time
I've gotten any use out of these books.
295
00:20:17,402 --> 00:20:18,392
[GIGGLES]
296
00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:21,835
Well, I don't know about your professors,
but I'd be delighted to give you an A.
297
00:20:22,007 --> 00:20:23,270
In what subject?
298
00:20:24,209 --> 00:20:25,438
Well,uh...
299
00:20:25,610 --> 00:20:27,977
Why don't you try ancient history,
Mr. Solo?
300
00:20:30,048 --> 00:20:32,574
It's what you're about to become.
301
00:20:33,985 --> 00:20:36,955
Excellent timing, gentlemen. Thank you.
302
00:20:37,122 --> 00:20:39,113
Don't celebrate yet, Solo.
303
00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:41,316
There's plenty more where I came from.
304
00:20:44,963 --> 00:20:46,727
I told you.
305
00:20:47,399 --> 00:20:50,027
We should've killed him right away.
306
00:20:50,201 --> 00:20:52,761
Now our whole plan
is knocked into a cocked hat.
307
00:20:52,938 --> 00:20:54,702
I don't see that.
308
00:20:54,873 --> 00:20:58,207
With Haymish in jail,
we can't assassinate Waverly.
309
00:20:58,376 --> 00:21:01,311
“Can't“ is a big word, my good friend.
310
00:21:01,479 --> 00:21:04,471
TRUMBULL:
Of course, we could just shoot him down.
311
00:21:04,649 --> 00:21:06,583
But the idea behind the whole plan...
312
00:21:06,751 --> 00:21:08,981
...was to blame the killing
on the student demonstrators.
313
00:21:09,154 --> 00:21:11,714
There are other ways to kill Waverly...
314
00:21:11,890 --> 00:21:13,858
...and other people to put the blame on...
315
00:21:14,025 --> 00:21:16,153
...so I arranged an alternate method.
316
00:21:16,728 --> 00:21:18,162
Dwight will kill Waverly.
317
00:21:19,764 --> 00:21:23,166
- Who?
- Dean Timothy Dwight.
318
00:21:23,335 --> 00:21:27,329
You must admit,
it's a rather provocative idea.
319
00:21:28,039 --> 00:21:31,236
We haven't been able to find out who's
behind it, but we did get the hatchet men.
320
00:21:31,409 --> 00:21:36,279
Mr. Solo, Thrush has enough hatchet men
to take on the United States Marines.
321
00:21:36,448 --> 00:21:38,348
At least they can't follow
their original plan...
322
00:21:38,516 --> 00:21:41,281
...which was to use a student
demonstration as a smoke screen.
323
00:21:41,453 --> 00:21:44,889
One of their men was to have led
the demonstration and presumably kill you.
324
00:21:45,056 --> 00:21:48,082
WAVERLY: They have as many plans
as they have hatchet men.
325
00:21:48,259 --> 00:21:50,853
They're undoubtedly hatching out
a new one right now.
326
00:21:51,029 --> 00:21:53,293
Alexander, this has gone too far.
327
00:21:53,465 --> 00:21:56,025
The press is having a field day.
Have you seen the headlines?
328
00:21:56,201 --> 00:21:58,431
I'm sorry, Timothy.
329
00:21:58,603 --> 00:22:01,698
I don't mean to cause you embarrassment.
What are the headlines?
330
00:22:01,873 --> 00:22:05,138
Something about a brawl
in a girls' dormitory.
331
00:22:05,310 --> 00:22:06,778
Oh.
332
00:22:06,945 --> 00:22:11,815
Well, with Mr. Solo involved,
I might've known.
333
00:22:12,617 --> 00:22:15,450
Try and be a bit more discreet
in future, Mr. Solo.
334
00:22:15,620 --> 00:22:16,610
Yes, sir.
335
00:22:16,788 --> 00:22:18,847
And please, gentlemen,
leave my daughter out of this.
336
00:22:19,024 --> 00:22:22,255
Since you've arrived, Minerva's
been in jail, she's been in a brawl.
337
00:22:22,427 --> 00:22:24,486
Jonathan Trumbull
has threatened to have me fired.
338
00:22:24,662 --> 00:22:26,130
The students are getting out of hand.
339
00:22:26,297 --> 00:22:28,823
And I think I am on the nerve
of a vergous breakdown.
340
00:22:29,734 --> 00:22:31,498
Must you keep that vaporizer on?
341
00:22:31,669 --> 00:22:34,661
You can smell the fumes
all through the building.
342
00:22:34,839 --> 00:22:36,671
THRUSH AGENT:
It's my sinuses, Trumbull.
343
00:22:36,841 --> 00:22:39,902
Perhaps this makeup
aggravates the condition.
344
00:22:40,078 --> 00:22:43,104
I'm going down to check on preparations
for the graduation ceremony.
345
00:22:43,281 --> 00:22:45,773
I wouldn't wander around if I were you.
346
00:22:45,950 --> 00:22:48,180
THRUSH AGENT [AS DWIGHT]:
Don't worry about me.
347
00:22:49,687 --> 00:22:51,121
A remarkable job.
348
00:22:51,656 --> 00:22:53,590
Truly remarkable.
349
00:22:54,125 --> 00:22:56,457
THRUSH AGENT: You've been
in the sticks too long, Trumbull.
350
00:22:56,628 --> 00:22:59,654
You've forgotten
how we do things in the big city.
351
00:23:06,104 --> 00:23:08,095
[FOOTSTEPS]
352
00:23:10,508 --> 00:23:13,205
SOLO: Dwight was not exactly
brimming over with goodwill.
353
00:23:13,378 --> 00:23:14,607
Would you be?
354
00:23:14,779 --> 00:23:17,840
He might be a little more cooperative,
it he's on the level.
355
00:23:18,016 --> 00:23:20,314
- You think he isn't?
- Consider the facts now.
356
00:23:20,485 --> 00:23:24,888
Thrush knew we'd be here, and Dwight
was the only one who was told about it.
357
00:23:25,056 --> 00:23:27,457
Ah, Mr. Solo.
358
00:23:27,625 --> 00:23:30,151
What do you think of our little campus?
359
00:23:30,328 --> 00:23:35,823
Well, it's, uh, not exactly
a bucolic atmosphere.
360
00:23:42,207 --> 00:23:43,902
Jonathan?
361
00:23:46,711 --> 00:23:48,736
Jonathan?
362
00:23:50,381 --> 00:23:52,247
Jonathan?
363
00:23:53,017 --> 00:23:54,143
[THRUSH AGENT SNIFFING]
364
00:24:18,209 --> 00:24:19,540
Timothy, what's wrong?
365
00:24:20,145 --> 00:24:22,443
It's happened. I've cracked up.
366
00:24:22,614 --> 00:24:25,584
You have? You look all right to me.
367
00:24:25,750 --> 00:24:27,809
I just saw myself, Jonathan.
368
00:24:27,986 --> 00:24:31,388
I just looked into my own face.
It was incredible.
369
00:24:31,556 --> 00:24:33,217
What's wrong with it?
370
00:24:33,391 --> 00:24:35,917
You have a perfectly acceptable face.
371
00:24:36,094 --> 00:24:38,256
Some people might even
consider it handsome.
372
00:24:38,429 --> 00:24:41,660
Yes, but it was on somebody else.
373
00:24:41,833 --> 00:24:43,301
- Your face?
- Yes.
374
00:24:43,468 --> 00:24:46,403
I opened that door and there it was,
my own face.
375
00:24:46,571 --> 00:24:48,869
Through a cloud of swirling mist.
376
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,839
- Swirling mist?
- Yes.
377
00:24:52,010 --> 00:24:56,038
I just saw myself in that room
not 30 seconds ago.
378
00:25:06,958 --> 00:25:10,019
- Inside this room?
- It's empty.
379
00:25:10,461 --> 00:25:12,088
TRUMBULL:
Naturally.
380
00:25:13,965 --> 00:25:15,524
But what's that medicinal smell?
381
00:25:15,700 --> 00:25:16,861
Smell?
382
00:25:17,035 --> 00:25:18,230
[TRUMBULL SNIFFS]
383
00:25:18,403 --> 00:25:20,030
What smell?
384
00:25:21,172 --> 00:25:24,107
First I see things, now I smell things.
385
00:25:25,343 --> 00:25:28,005
Jonathan,
I've finally gone over the edge.
386
00:25:28,179 --> 00:25:30,546
TRUMBULL:
I wouldn't worry about it, Timothy.
387
00:25:30,715 --> 00:25:34,117
It's been a difficult year,
and you're a little upset.
388
00:25:34,285 --> 00:25:36,049
A good night's sleep, and you'll feel fine.
389
00:25:36,221 --> 00:25:39,191
Sleep. I wouldn't dare close my eyes.
390
00:25:39,357 --> 00:25:41,621
I'd see that thing again,
that face, my face.
391
00:25:41,793 --> 00:25:44,558
Now, don't panic.
That's the worst thing you could do.
392
00:25:44,729 --> 00:25:47,596
I am not panicking.
393
00:25:47,765 --> 00:25:48,994
I'm resigning.
394
00:25:49,167 --> 00:25:52,330
Oh, you can't resign.
Not until after the graduation anyway.
395
00:25:52,503 --> 00:25:55,700
Oh, yes, I'll resign before the graduation,
otherwise, I'd crack up.
396
00:25:55,873 --> 00:25:59,138
Why? It's just an ordinary graduation.
397
00:25:59,310 --> 00:26:01,074
It isn't ordinary, Jonathan.
398
00:26:01,246 --> 00:26:03,840
Believe me.
There are certain things I can't tell you...
399
00:26:04,015 --> 00:26:06,245
...but the strain would be terrible.
400
00:26:06,417 --> 00:26:10,320
And obviously, I'm in no condition
to undergo even a small strain at this point.
401
00:26:12,824 --> 00:26:15,850
Do me one little favor, Timothy.
402
00:26:16,027 --> 00:26:17,961
Before you resign...
403
00:26:18,129 --> 00:26:21,099
...talk to your old friend
in the Psychology Department.
404
00:26:21,266 --> 00:26:22,859
What's his name?
405
00:26:23,401 --> 00:26:25,165
DWIGHT:
Dr. Neary?
406
00:26:25,637 --> 00:26:27,469
Dr. Neary.
407
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,165
All right.
408
00:26:32,577 --> 00:26:34,238
But I warn you...
409
00:26:34,412 --> 00:26:37,871
...I fully intend to resign
before the day is out.
410
00:26:39,651 --> 00:26:41,551
Get me Dr. Neary.
411
00:26:48,192 --> 00:26:49,626
[CLEARS THROAT]
412
00:26:54,666 --> 00:26:59,126
If he resigns publicly before the graduation,
our plan is useless.
413
00:26:59,304 --> 00:27:00,533
Don't worry.
414
00:27:00,705 --> 00:27:03,367
He'll be out of circulation very soon.
415
00:27:03,541 --> 00:27:07,500
You'll just have to take his place
a little earlier than we planned, that's all.
416
00:27:09,414 --> 00:27:12,440
Dr. Neary, Jonathan Trumbull here.
417
00:27:12,617 --> 00:27:15,109
Dean Dwight
is on his way over to see you.
418
00:27:15,286 --> 00:27:17,846
NEARY:
He is? Good.
419
00:27:18,022 --> 00:27:20,320
I haven't seen him since this morning.
420
00:27:20,491 --> 00:27:22,926
He's a sick man, Neary.
421
00:27:23,094 --> 00:27:25,791
I want you to keep him at your place
until you hear from me again.
422
00:27:25,963 --> 00:27:28,898
Sick? Timothy?
423
00:27:29,067 --> 00:27:31,934
Why, he was fine
when I saw him this morning.
424
00:27:32,103 --> 00:27:36,836
If I say he's sick, Neary, he is sick.
425
00:27:37,508 --> 00:27:39,602
Of course, he is sick.
426
00:27:39,777 --> 00:27:41,302
Shall I call a doctor?
427
00:27:41,479 --> 00:27:44,176
Oh, no.
Just make sure he doesn't get away.
428
00:27:44,816 --> 00:27:49,049
But, uh, if he is sick, Mr. Trumbull,
and of course he is...
429
00:27:49,220 --> 00:27:50,949
...shouldn't he be treated?
430
00:27:52,824 --> 00:27:56,260
The regents elect the new chairman
of the Psychology Department...
431
00:27:56,427 --> 00:27:58,657
...next month, Neary.
432
00:27:58,830 --> 00:28:01,959
I had intended
to recommend you for the job.
433
00:28:02,900 --> 00:28:05,665
Uh, but detaining Dean Dwight
without his consent...
434
00:28:05,837 --> 00:28:08,067
...it would be unethical.
435
00:28:08,239 --> 00:28:13,234
And I had not intended to mention
that little indiscretion of yours...
436
00:28:13,411 --> 00:28:15,903
...with that blend graduate student.
437
00:28:17,181 --> 00:28:20,242
Um, I suppose I could
keep him here for a while.
438
00:28:20,418 --> 00:28:23,251
Considering it's for his own good.
439
00:28:23,421 --> 00:28:26,755
His and yours, doctor. Good day.
440
00:28:31,629 --> 00:28:33,723
Take care of him later.
441
00:28:33,898 --> 00:28:37,357
Meanwhile, to all intents and purposes,
I am Dwight.
442
00:28:37,535 --> 00:28:39,765
I don't like replacing him this soon.
443
00:28:39,937 --> 00:28:41,769
I'll have to face that daughter of his.
444
00:28:41,939 --> 00:28:44,567
Either you replace him or he resigns.
445
00:28:45,877 --> 00:28:47,106
All right.
446
00:28:47,278 --> 00:28:50,805
You keep Dwight under wraps.
I'll take care of the brat.
447
00:28:52,884 --> 00:28:54,443
What about the U.N.C.L.E. agents?
448
00:28:55,686 --> 00:28:59,213
We'll find something interesting
for them too.
449
00:29:05,229 --> 00:29:08,722
I still don't think you should come here, sir.
You could give any number of excuses.
450
00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:12,234
Absolutely not, Mr. Solo. I'll be there.
451
00:29:12,403 --> 00:29:14,872
And it's your job
to see that I leave there alive.
452
00:29:15,039 --> 00:29:16,029
Yes, sir.
453
00:29:16,207 --> 00:29:18,335
WAVERLY:
And as far as Dean Dwight is concerned...
454
00:29:18,509 --> 00:29:21,410
- I can assure you, he's beyond suspicion.
- But it is possible...
455
00:29:21,579 --> 00:29:24,378
...that he might've told someone
about our being here, inadvertently.
456
00:29:24,549 --> 00:29:27,416
Yes, it's possible.
Why don't you ask him?
457
00:29:27,585 --> 00:29:30,577
Yes, sir.
That's exactly what we're planning to do.
458
00:29:32,723 --> 00:29:35,090
My own face. It was terrible.
459
00:29:35,259 --> 00:29:38,388
- I can well imagine.
- And I smell things too.
460
00:29:38,563 --> 00:29:41,692
These are not good signs, Timothy.
Not good at all.
461
00:29:41,866 --> 00:29:44,597
Silas, do you think
I've gone over the edge?
462
00:29:44,769 --> 00:29:46,737
I wouldn't say that.
463
00:29:48,105 --> 00:29:51,097
But I think we should have a talk
about your problems.
464
00:29:51,275 --> 00:29:54,176
Along talk, and right now...
465
00:29:54,345 --> 00:29:56,074
...before your condition worsens.
466
00:29:56,247 --> 00:29:58,238
Right now, I'm going to announce
my resignation.
467
00:29:58,850 --> 00:30:01,820
- I think we should talk, Timothy.
- What's there to talk about?
468
00:30:01,986 --> 00:30:05,445
I will resign and I'll have myself
committed voluntarily.
469
00:30:06,023 --> 00:30:08,549
Your symptoms are not that serious.
470
00:30:08,726 --> 00:30:11,752
A frank discussion
might relieve the anxieties...
471
00:30:11,929 --> 00:30:14,762
...that are causing these symptoms.
472
00:30:14,932 --> 00:30:17,958
Otherwise, you may end up like Nelson.
473
00:30:18,135 --> 00:30:19,830
He started out just like you.
474
00:30:21,172 --> 00:30:25,837
He is now in the incurable ward
at the state hospital.
475
00:30:27,278 --> 00:30:29,337
They call him “the vegetable.“
476
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,080
Let's talk. Wait.
477
00:30:39,323 --> 00:30:41,621
I better call my daughter first.
478
00:30:47,198 --> 00:30:48,791
Tell her I'll be late for dinner.
479
00:30:48,966 --> 00:30:50,957
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
480
00:30:52,637 --> 00:30:55,334
- Hello?
- Who is this?
481
00:30:55,506 --> 00:30:59,238
This is Timothy Dwight.
Who am I speaking to, please?
482
00:31:01,078 --> 00:31:02,341
What's wrong?
483
00:31:02,747 --> 00:31:04,613
It's getting worse.
484
00:31:05,449 --> 00:31:08,384
I just talked to myself on the telephone.
485
00:31:09,253 --> 00:31:12,018
Um, sit down, Timothy.
486
00:31:13,691 --> 00:31:15,989
Can I get you an aspirin?
487
00:31:27,405 --> 00:31:31,239
I don't like it, Trumbull.
I don't like it at all.
488
00:31:31,409 --> 00:31:32,774
Just for one night.
489
00:31:32,944 --> 00:31:35,845
We can't very well get rid
of everyone who knows Dwight.
490
00:31:36,013 --> 00:31:39,972
No, I suppose not.
Though it is a nice idea.
491
00:31:40,151 --> 00:31:42,142
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
492
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:44,684
Come in.
493
00:31:46,190 --> 00:31:48,591
Ah, Mr. Kuryakin and Mr. Solo.
494
00:31:48,759 --> 00:31:50,989
How nice to see you.
495
00:31:52,263 --> 00:31:54,459
- I hope you gentlemen stay for dinner.
- No, thank you.
496
00:31:54,632 --> 00:31:57,499
We have to get back to the campus
to make preparations for tomorrow.
497
00:31:57,668 --> 00:32:01,229
We wanted to ask you if you might have
mentioned our presence here to anyone.
498
00:32:01,872 --> 00:32:03,897
You asked me to keep it to myself,
didn't you?
499
00:32:04,075 --> 00:32:07,807
Well, of course, but you might've
mentioned something without realizing it.
500
00:32:07,979 --> 00:32:10,277
You're speaking
to the dean of this university, Mr. Solo...
501
00:32:10,448 --> 00:32:12,917
...not to one of its crackbrained coeds.
502
00:32:13,884 --> 00:32:14,976
Forgive us.
503
00:32:15,152 --> 00:32:16,142
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
504
00:32:17,455 --> 00:32:18,752
MINERVA:
IIIya.
505
00:32:18,923 --> 00:32:20,550
THRUSH AGENT [AS DWIGHT]:
Oh, hello, dear.
506
00:32:20,725 --> 00:32:21,886
MINERVA:
Hello, Daddy.
507
00:32:22,059 --> 00:32:23,424
How were classes?
508
00:32:23,594 --> 00:32:25,926
Daddy, I didn't have any classes today.
509
00:32:26,097 --> 00:32:27,622
Now, you know that.
510
00:32:27,798 --> 00:32:29,027
Oh, ha, of course.
511
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,932
Sometimes I feel more like a dean
than a daddy. It's an occupational hazard.
512
00:32:33,104 --> 00:32:38,133
Don't worry about that, because you
are doing just fine in the daddy department.
513
00:32:38,309 --> 00:32:40,073
Thank you, dear.
514
00:32:40,244 --> 00:32:42,804
You know Mr. Solo?
My daughter, Minerva.
515
00:32:42,980 --> 00:32:46,245
- Minerva, how are you?
- Hello, Mr. Solo.
516
00:32:47,251 --> 00:32:48,776
“Na. what ate you doing have?
517
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,084
Oh. Oh, I know.
518
00:32:54,525 --> 00:32:58,223
It has something to do
with that business in the dorm, doesn't it?
519
00:32:59,764 --> 00:33:01,425
Something like that.
520
00:33:02,099 --> 00:33:04,830
Uh, I'm sure everything will work out.
521
00:33:05,002 --> 00:33:06,868
I hope so. Good day.
522
00:33:07,038 --> 00:33:10,099
- Good day.
- I'll walk you to the car.
523
00:33:22,086 --> 00:33:23,315
I'm worried about Daddy.
524
00:33:23,487 --> 00:33:24,716
SOLO:
Why?
525
00:33:24,889 --> 00:33:27,483
MINERVA:
Uh, nothing specific.
526
00:33:31,562 --> 00:33:34,293
Well, it's just that
he's been acting peculiar.
527
00:33:34,465 --> 00:33:35,694
ILLYA:
How peculiar?
528
00:33:35,866 --> 00:33:37,630
Very.
529
00:33:38,536 --> 00:33:41,403
Is there anyone else on campus
that knows your father well?
530
00:33:42,373 --> 00:33:44,535
His oldest friend is Silas Neary.
531
00:33:44,709 --> 00:33:46,507
He's a psychology professor.
532
00:33:48,879 --> 00:33:50,506
Bye, IIIya.
533
00:33:51,382 --> 00:33:52,781
Bye.
534
00:33:55,419 --> 00:33:57,820
She's suspicious. So are they.
535
00:33:57,988 --> 00:34:00,013
If we give them enough time...
536
00:34:02,326 --> 00:34:04,658
THRUSH AGENT:
Their time's already run out.
537
00:34:06,731 --> 00:34:08,358
My dear.
538
00:34:10,468 --> 00:34:11,799
I think the moment has arrived...
539
00:34:11,969 --> 00:34:15,462
...for you and Daddy to have
a little talk about the facts of life.
540
00:34:17,508 --> 00:34:19,101
How'd he seem to you?
541
00:34:19,276 --> 00:34:21,973
Like an absent-minded dean.
542
00:34:22,446 --> 00:34:25,711
Mr. Waverly says he's all right,
he's probably all right.
543
00:34:25,883 --> 00:34:29,319
Wouldn't do any harm
to talk to his friend Dr. Neary.
544
00:34:31,455 --> 00:34:34,117
DWIGHT:
All that year, I was terribly frustrated.
545
00:34:34,291 --> 00:34:35,588
Pressures, anxieties, you know.
546
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,060
And then the next year, when I entered
seventh grade, it was even worse.
547
00:34:39,230 --> 00:34:41,164
My father wanted me
to make good marks...
548
00:34:41,332 --> 00:34:43,630
...and my mother wanted me
to go out for the baseball team.
549
00:34:44,502 --> 00:34:46,493
I suppose it was just
a typical problem, but--
550
00:34:46,670 --> 00:34:47,660
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
551
00:34:55,980 --> 00:34:57,573
- Dr. Neary?
NEARY: Yes.
552
00:34:57,748 --> 00:34:59,580
We'd like to talk to you
about Dean Dwight.
553
00:35:05,856 --> 00:35:07,381
When did you get here?
554
00:35:07,558 --> 00:35:09,959
Oh, uh, along time ago.
555
00:35:10,127 --> 00:35:14,963
I've been talking to Dr. Neary
about myself and I, uh...
556
00:35:15,132 --> 00:35:16,793
I'm up to the seventh grade already.
557
00:35:39,156 --> 00:35:41,147
So we meet at last, Dean Dwight...
558
00:35:41,926 --> 00:35:43,519
...face-to-face.
559
00:35:44,094 --> 00:35:48,292
Please, Mr. Solo, no fireworks.
There are ladies in the audience.
560
00:35:48,465 --> 00:35:50,092
Daddy.
561
00:35:52,002 --> 00:35:54,972
Touching. Very touching.
562
00:35:55,139 --> 00:35:58,109
I take pleasure in such happy reunions.
563
00:35:58,275 --> 00:36:00,937
Let's skip the flourishes
and get rid of them.
564
00:36:01,111 --> 00:36:03,671
We have a lot of arrangements to make
before tomorrow morning.
565
00:36:03,848 --> 00:36:08,843
Spoken like a true Philistine, Trumbull.
You have no appreciation of the an.
566
00:36:09,019 --> 00:36:11,454
My business killings
are always quick and clean...
567
00:36:11,622 --> 00:36:14,717
...but this is a pleasure killing,
so I don't mind dawdling a little.
568
00:36:16,794 --> 00:36:20,230
After all,
man has to have some relaxation.
569
00:36:28,839 --> 00:36:31,274
THRUSH AGENT:
Interesting, these communicators.
570
00:36:31,442 --> 00:36:35,208
I think, though, it'd be inadvisable
to let you keep them.
571
00:36:36,046 --> 00:36:39,038
Uh, you'll find the chairs
are bolted to the floor.
572
00:36:39,216 --> 00:36:41,878
Now, class, you're ready
for your final exam...
573
00:36:42,052 --> 00:36:44,987
...to be administered
by this electronic teaching machine...
574
00:36:45,155 --> 00:36:48,648
...which is reputed
to work wonders with slow learners.
575
00:36:48,826 --> 00:36:52,387
A recorded voice will ask you a question
and give you two possible answers.
576
00:36:52,563 --> 00:36:56,898
If you choose the correct answer by
pressing the appropriate button, Mr. Solo...
577
00:36:57,067 --> 00:36:58,398
...a bell will ring.
578
00:36:58,569 --> 00:37:00,663
This will be followed
by the next question.
579
00:37:01,138 --> 00:37:02,469
If you choose the wrong answer...
580
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:05,974
...or fail to answer
within the 15-second time limit...
581
00:37:06,143 --> 00:37:07,406
...a buzzer will sound.
582
00:37:07,578 --> 00:37:10,604
This buzzer is connected
to a cylinder of poison gas.
583
00:37:11,215 --> 00:37:14,344
When the buzzer sounds,
the gas is released.
584
00:37:14,852 --> 00:37:18,413
So you see, my friends,
your first mistake will also be your last.
585
00:37:18,589 --> 00:37:21,581
To insure your privacy,
we've sealed off all the ventilators.
586
00:37:21,759 --> 00:37:26,253
And there will be no proctors.
We operate here on the honor system.
587
00:37:29,867 --> 00:37:31,460
Seal it.
588
00:37:40,945 --> 00:37:44,472
MAN [ON RECORDING]: Question one. European history.
589
00:37:44,648 --> 00:37:48,414
In what year did Napoleon Bonaparte die?
590
00:37:48,585 --> 00:37:52,317
Answer A: 1823.
591
00:37:52,489 --> 00:37:56,483
Answer 3: 7827.
592
00:37:56,660 --> 00:37:58,560
[TICKING]
593
00:37:58,729 --> 00:38:00,322
Come on, Napoleon,
you should know that.
594
00:38:00,497 --> 00:38:03,956
I was named after him.
I wasn't at his funeral.
595
00:38:04,902 --> 00:38:07,462
I flunked history
the same year I flunked Latin.
596
00:38:07,638 --> 00:38:10,403
- Dr. Neary?
- I'm afraid it's not my field, Mr. Solo.
597
00:38:10,574 --> 00:38:12,804
I think it's 1823, but I'm not sure.
598
00:38:12,977 --> 00:38:15,002
Well, let's not die by default.
599
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:17,845
[RINGING]
600
00:38:18,916 --> 00:38:20,611
[ALL SIGH]
601
00:38:34,698 --> 00:38:38,692
MAN [ON RECORDING]:
Question 309- Nature! science-
602
00:38:38,869 --> 00:38:42,828
The horseshoe crab
belongs to which genus?
603
00:38:43,007 --> 00:38:46,204
Answer A: Genus Armonidae.
604
00:38:46,377 --> 00:38:49,210
Answer 3: Genus Rhexiflia.
605
00:38:49,380 --> 00:38:51,439
- Armonidae.
- Rhexillia.
606
00:38:51,615 --> 00:38:53,606
[CLOCK TICKING]
607
00:39:00,190 --> 00:39:02,682
[BELL RINGING]
608
00:39:10,868 --> 00:39:12,836
THRUSH AGENT [AS DWIGHT]:
Alex.
609
00:39:13,704 --> 00:39:16,105
WAVERLY: Ah, Timothy.
THRUSH AGENT: It's been too long.
610
00:39:16,306 --> 00:39:18,673
This is Jonathan Trumbull,
chairman of our board of regents.
611
00:39:18,842 --> 00:39:21,311
WAVERLY: Mr. Trumbull.
THRUSH AGENT: Alex Waverly.
612
00:39:21,478 --> 00:39:23,879
Well, Timothy.
you're looking well, I must say.
613
00:39:24,048 --> 00:39:26,107
THRUSH AGENT:
I'm looking forward to the next hour...
614
00:39:26,283 --> 00:39:29,309
...more than I can tell you, Alex.
WAVERLY: Uh, Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin...
615
00:39:29,486 --> 00:39:30,544
...aren't they here?
616
00:39:30,721 --> 00:39:32,519
Why, no, I haven't seen them
since last night.
617
00:39:32,689 --> 00:39:33,679
WAVERLY:
That's curious.
618
00:39:33,857 --> 00:39:35,757
THRUSH AGENT:
Everything's in order, my friend.
619
00:39:35,926 --> 00:39:38,759
Indeed, everything's just fine.
620
00:39:48,439 --> 00:39:50,908
Oh, I don't know, gentlemen.
621
00:39:51,075 --> 00:39:54,807
I don't think the younger generation
is completely hopeless.
622
00:39:54,978 --> 00:39:57,845
Difficult perhaps, but not hopeless.
623
00:39:58,015 --> 00:40:00,006
You could kill him now just as easily.
624
00:40:00,184 --> 00:40:05,748
No, I want to wait until they're all seated
and he's in the middle of his speech.
625
00:40:05,923 --> 00:40:10,053
I want it to be absolutely clear
he's been killed by Dean Timothy Dwight.
626
00:40:10,227 --> 00:40:13,925
Killed in front
of the entire graduating class.
627
00:40:14,098 --> 00:40:16,362
Consider what'll happen, Trumbull.
628
00:40:16,533 --> 00:40:20,401
The groves of academe
will be shaken to the very roots.
629
00:40:20,571 --> 00:40:23,302
The scandal will lead
to so many investigations...
630
00:40:23,474 --> 00:40:25,306
...U.N.C.L.E. will be finished.
631
00:40:25,476 --> 00:40:29,413
Absolutely finished as a secret agency.
632
00:40:29,580 --> 00:40:32,447
And Thrush will move into the vacuum.
633
00:40:32,616 --> 00:40:35,051
TRUMBULL:
Excuse me. This way, gentlemen, please.
634
00:40:41,525 --> 00:40:43,892
Open Channel D, please.
635
00:40:46,296 --> 00:40:48,025
Mr. Solo?
636
00:40:48,765 --> 00:40:50,597
Mr. Kuryakin?
637
00:40:51,401 --> 00:40:53,460
Either of you, come in, please.
638
00:40:54,004 --> 00:40:58,669
MAN [ON RECORDING]: Question 336. Biochemistry.
639
00:40:58,842 --> 00:41:00,867
TRUMBULL:
We're ready, Mr. Waverly.
640
00:41:01,378 --> 00:41:03,437
Oh, coming, coming.
641
00:41:06,683 --> 00:41:10,620
TRUMBULL: Alexander Waverly
hardly needs an introduction.
642
00:41:10,787 --> 00:41:14,155
His reputation
is well-known by all of you.
643
00:41:14,324 --> 00:41:19,091
And on this day, when you are
about to leave the cloistered halls of ivy...
644
00:41:19,530 --> 00:41:22,090
...no man is more qualified...
645
00:41:22,266 --> 00:41:26,362
...to give you a few words
of wise advice...
646
00:41:26,537 --> 00:41:28,096
...as you are about to...
647
00:41:28,272 --> 00:41:30,536
MAN [ON RECORDING]:
The star Alpha 17...
648
00:41:30,707 --> 00:41:33,369
...is haw many light years from the sun?
649
00:41:33,544 --> 00:41:37,037
Answer A: 416.
650
00:41:37,214 --> 00:41:40,343
Answer B: 394.
651
00:41:40,517 --> 00:41:41,507
[DWIGHT SNORING]
652
00:41:41,685 --> 00:41:43,016
Daddy.
653
00:41:43,187 --> 00:41:44,484
[TICKING]
654
00:41:44,655 --> 00:41:45,884
Daddy, wake up.
655
00:41:46,056 --> 00:41:47,717
DWIGHT:
It's 394.
656
00:41:47,891 --> 00:41:49,689
NEARY:
Four sixteen.
657
00:41:49,860 --> 00:41:52,158
DWIGHT:
Three ninety-four, I tell you.
658
00:41:52,329 --> 00:41:54,491
ILLYA: Push the button.
SOLO: Which one?
659
00:41:55,966 --> 00:41:57,161
[RINGING]
660
00:42:00,337 --> 00:42:02,499
TRUMBULL:
But before you hear Mr. Waverly...
661
00:42:02,673 --> 00:42:05,233
...I would be derelict in my duty...
662
00:42:05,409 --> 00:42:09,846
...if I did not give you a few words
of parting advice of my own.
663
00:42:10,013 --> 00:42:12,482
MAN [ON RECORDING]: Geography. Mt. Whitney...
664
00:42:12,649 --> 00:42:16,313
ILLYA:
Napoleon, that's closed-circuit television.
665
00:42:16,820 --> 00:42:20,950
MAN“.
Answer A: 14,495.
666
00:42:21,124 --> 00:42:23,388
Answer 3: 74.
667
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,028
TRUMBULL:
I can only say...
668
00:42:25,195 --> 00:42:27,527
...we of the older generation...
669
00:42:27,698 --> 00:42:33,262
...look to you for new solutions
to our old problems.
670
00:42:34,037 --> 00:42:35,471
[SIGHS]
671
00:42:39,476 --> 00:42:40,807
[ILLYA GRUNTS]
672
00:42:41,678 --> 00:42:43,271
ILLYA:
Four ninety-five.
673
00:42:43,447 --> 00:42:45,006
How do you know?
674
00:42:46,683 --> 00:42:48,742
ILLYA:
I climbed it.
675
00:42:50,854 --> 00:42:51,844
[BELL RINGS]
676
00:42:52,022 --> 00:42:54,081
ILLYA: Help!
If there's anybody can see us, help us.
677
00:42:54,258 --> 00:42:56,522
[ON TV]
Help!
678
00:42:56,693 --> 00:42:58,627
Help! Help, anybody.
679
00:42:58,795 --> 00:43:02,026
MINERVA:
Please! Please!
680
00:43:02,199 --> 00:43:06,693
TRUMBULL: And finally,
I can give you no better advice than this:
681
00:43:06,870 --> 00:43:11,467
Heed well the words of the man
who is about to speak to you...
682
00:43:11,642 --> 00:43:14,907
...Alexander Waverly.
683
00:43:15,912 --> 00:43:17,903
[APPLAUSE]
684
00:43:20,350 --> 00:43:23,012
Gentlemen of the faculty...
685
00:43:23,654 --> 00:43:28,558
...parents and members
of the graduating class...
686
00:43:28,725 --> 00:43:31,626
MAN [ON RECORDING]: Question 340- Mathematics.
687
00:43:32,162 --> 00:43:35,462
What is the numerical value of pi?
688
00:43:35,632 --> 00:43:40,001
Answer A: 3.14159.
689
00:43:40,170 --> 00:43:45,336
Answer 3: 3- 74758.
690
00:43:46,009 --> 00:43:48,569
DWIGHT 8. NEARY:
Answer B.
691
00:43:49,579 --> 00:43:50,978
This is a historic occasion.
692
00:43:51,148 --> 00:43:53,947
It's the first time
you both agreed on something.
693
00:43:56,653 --> 00:43:58,644
[BUZZING]
694
00:44:00,524 --> 00:44:02,583
That's impossible. It must be answer B.
695
00:44:02,759 --> 00:44:05,694
Agreed. It must be.
696
00:44:05,862 --> 00:44:07,626
The machine is wrong.
697
00:44:10,434 --> 00:44:13,028
Save your breath, professor.
You're gonna need every bit of it.
698
00:44:16,206 --> 00:44:18,197
[STUDENTS CHANTING AND JEERING]
699
00:44:19,409 --> 00:44:22,902
PATRICIA: Hey, kids. Trouble.
I need your help. Come on!
700
00:44:26,116 --> 00:44:30,110
WAVERLY: And as I look out
over this sea of young faces...
701
00:44:30,287 --> 00:44:34,656
...I cannot believe
those prophets of doom...
702
00:44:35,192 --> 00:44:38,287
...who are certain
that civilization is at its last gasp.
703
00:44:45,635 --> 00:44:47,626
[STUDENTS YELLING]
704
00:44:49,639 --> 00:44:50,868
STUDENT 1:
Look.
705
00:44:51,041 --> 00:44:52,031
[MINERVA COUGHING]
706
00:44:52,209 --> 00:44:53,870
STUDENT 2:
Hold your breath.
707
00:44:54,044 --> 00:44:55,034
Hold your breath.
708
00:44:55,212 --> 00:44:57,180
STUDENT 1:
Untie the ropes.
709
00:44:57,347 --> 00:44:58,974
STUDENT 2:
Don't breathe.
710
00:44:59,916 --> 00:45:01,611
STUDENT 1:
Hold your breath.
711
00:45:03,153 --> 00:45:05,918
The future is in your hands.
712
00:45:06,089 --> 00:45:10,720
After all, we old ones
will not be around much longer.
713
00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:20,894
And then it will be your task
to carry forward the torch.
714
00:45:21,071 --> 00:45:27,443
I must admit, the world you inherit
from us is not exactly unscaned...
715
00:45:27,611 --> 00:45:28,601
...but nevertheless--
716
00:45:28,779 --> 00:45:30,770
[CLEARING THROAT]
717
00:45:32,916 --> 00:45:34,509
[GUN COCKS]
718
00:45:40,357 --> 00:45:41,518
[GUNSHOT]
719
00:45:41,691 --> 00:45:43,682
[CROWD SCREAMING]
720
00:46:10,220 --> 00:46:13,212
SOLO: Dean Dwight.
Better stay right where you are.
721
00:46:13,390 --> 00:46:15,449
Run into any Thrush men,
you're likely to get killed.
722
00:46:15,625 --> 00:46:17,093
Oh, I doubt that.
723
00:46:17,260 --> 00:46:18,591
[SOLO GRUNTS]
724
00:46:36,246 --> 00:46:38,647
Trumbull! It's him.
725
00:46:38,815 --> 00:46:39,805
Shoot him, Trumbull.
726
00:46:39,983 --> 00:46:41,314
No, Trumbull. It's him.
727
00:46:43,220 --> 00:46:44,585
MINERVA:
No!
728
00:46:46,656 --> 00:46:48,146
- Shoot him!
- Daddy!
729
00:46:49,993 --> 00:46:51,859
No!
730
00:46:54,264 --> 00:46:55,663
Daddy!
731
00:46:59,536 --> 00:47:01,903
Darling, you saved my life.
732
00:47:02,072 --> 00:47:03,301
[DWIGHT CHUCKLING]
733
00:47:03,473 --> 00:47:05,134
How could you tell us apart?
734
00:47:06,076 --> 00:47:08,340
Don't you think
I even know my own daddy?
735
00:47:14,851 --> 00:47:17,912
SOLO: I thought you were building
your superman plans around IIIya.
736
00:47:18,088 --> 00:47:19,317
MINERVA:
I was.
737
00:47:19,489 --> 00:47:21,651
But he told me
that insanity ran in his family.
738
00:47:21,825 --> 00:47:22,815
[SOLO CHUCKLES]
739
00:47:22,993 --> 00:47:26,861
Well, I couldn't very well expose
my future children to that kind of risk.
740
00:47:28,031 --> 00:47:31,296
Why, he even told me
that he was a little...
741
00:47:31,468 --> 00:47:32,697
mo”.
742
00:47:32,869 --> 00:47:36,237
Hmm. Crazy like a fox.
743
00:47:36,406 --> 00:47:39,569
Do they still print these things
on sheepskin, Timothy?
744
00:47:39,743 --> 00:47:43,338
I'm ashamed to say this to you, Alex.
but that's ordinary paper.
745
00:47:43,513 --> 00:47:45,982
Economy has replaced tradition.
746
00:47:46,149 --> 00:47:48,641
Things have changed
since you and I were in college.
747
00:47:48,818 --> 00:47:50,980
PATRICIA:
Mr. Kuryakin.
748
00:47:53,123 --> 00:47:57,651
- Yes, Miss Darling?
- Please. Patricia.
749
00:47:58,862 --> 00:48:02,594
Uh, can I call you IIIya?
750
00:48:03,266 --> 00:48:04,256
Please do.
751
00:48:04,434 --> 00:48:08,769
Heh, you know,
Mr. Solo told me how smart you are.
752
00:48:08,972 --> 00:48:12,203
I mean, getting all these answers
when you were on the teaching machine.
753
00:48:12,375 --> 00:48:14,605
Oh, he's a very bright guy.
754
00:48:15,045 --> 00:48:18,777
Well, the point is, I'm not.
755
00:48:18,949 --> 00:48:19,973
[GIGGLES]
756
00:48:20,150 --> 00:48:26,055
So I thought that maybe
you might tutor me in the evenings.
757
00:48:26,222 --> 00:48:28,554
Mm. He'd do a wonderful job.
758
00:48:28,725 --> 00:48:31,023
You know, there's insanity in my family.
759
00:48:31,194 --> 00:48:32,662
Oh! Heh.
760
00:48:32,829 --> 00:48:35,696
Well, that makes it
even more interesting, heh.
761
00:48:35,865 --> 00:48:37,890
You will, won't you?
762
00:48:38,868 --> 00:48:40,563
Why not?
763
00:48:41,471 --> 00:48:42,802
Hey.
764
00:48:43,206 --> 00:48:44,765
I beg your pardon, Miss Dwight?
765
00:48:45,875 --> 00:48:48,276
Well, it just dawned on me.
766
00:48:48,445 --> 00:48:53,144
Since we're friends with U.N.C.L.E.,
who do we demonstrate against next?
767
00:48:53,316 --> 00:48:55,045
Oh, now, really, Minerva, please.
768
00:48:55,218 --> 00:48:56,879
Don't worry, Timothy.
769
00:48:57,053 --> 00:48:59,750
So long as there are students,
there'll be protest.
770
00:48:59,923 --> 00:49:02,984
That's one tradition
that will never change.
771
00:49:54,577 --> 00:49:56,568
[ENGLISH SDH]59249
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