All language subtitles for Stargate Atlantis Season 03 Episode 03 - Irresistible

Are you all right, colonel?

It's nothing, just a cold. No big deal.
Just annoying.

- Talk about annoying...
- What?

We should be focusing
on harvesting space gates.

That's what we're doing, Rodney.
The M.A.L.P. Detected life signs.

We have to check it out.
That's the protocol.

Identifying space gates to complete
the intergalactic bridge...

...should be our priority,
not making contact...

...with the locals
of a backwater hamlet.

- Are you that eager to return to Earth?
- This isn't about me.

It's the ability to go back and forth
between Earth and Atlantis conveniently.

- And whenever I want to.
- How's that work, again?

Okay.

Once we've seeded enough stargates
between Pegasus and the Milky Way...

...we'll take a Jumper from one
to the other till we reach the other side.

We won't tax the ZPM,
we won't be reliant on the Daedalus.

Travel time between Earth and Atlantis
will be cut...

...from three weeks to 30 minutes.

- Very clever.
- Yes.

It was Samantha Carter's idea.

Backwater hamlet, dead ahead.

Okay, let's just make contact,
buy our souvenirs and get out of here.

Fair day to you.

Fair day to you.

Nothing here. We should probably go.

Yeah, probably wouldn't hurt
to make contact with the locals, though.

- No, when you're right, you're right.
- We're here now...

Hello. Hello, new people. Why didn't
anybody tell me they were here yet?

- Lucius, I've missed you.
- Willa, I was just out for a walk.

- Have you met the new people yet?
- We just got here.

Oh, great. Then I haven't missed
anything. I hate missing things.

Have you met my wife Willa?
Isn't she gorgeous?

My other wives,
they're just making lunch.

- Fair day, Lucius.
- Hello.

I love you. I love you.
Fair day, everybody.

Fair day, Lucius.

I'm John Sheppard.
Rodney McKay.

Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan.

Teyla.

- And you are from...?
- Athos.

Athos. Yeah, Athos.
I've never been there.

Sounds nice. Is it nice?

Until it was culled by the Wraith.

Oh, I hate them.

What do you say you and me
get together, have lunch, talk about this?

Maybe have some wine?

We don't even know your name.

We're serious.

You mean you truly
have not heard of Lucius?

Well, everyone knows.

He's the wisest and kindest man
among the stars.

Oh, people just say that.

I mean, you can't prove it
till you've met everybody, am I right?

Well, then, Lucius...

...we're glad we met you.

And if you aren't yet, you will be.
Come on, let's have some lunch, huh?

Everybody has to eat.
Come on. Right this way, please.

Please. After you. Please.

- Fair day.
- Fair day, Lucius.

- Fair day. Fair day.
- Fair day.

Here I come.

I love architecture.
It's all a mystery to me, really...

...but hasn't stopped me from trying.
- I see.

- Is she taken yet?
- No.

Nor does he, nor anyone else,
speak for me.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you are definitely
wife material.

Yeah, I love a woman with spirit.

And a great body.

Excuse me, Lucius.

Please pardon my ignorance,
possibly even my manners.

- What is it about you...?
- I know...

...so you don't even have to ask.

I have gifts.

What are those gifts?

Exploration.

Alchemy, medicine.

I have, I have to say,
some of the best ointments around.

See, I could take care of that
just like that.

- It's just a cold.
- Nevertheless.

I have a potion that could
get rid of that in six or seven days.

- That's impressive.
- You get used to it. We'll do a trade.

So where y'all from?

No place in particular.
We move around a lot.

In that wonderful machine.
Yeah, I saw it. I was on a walk.

I look up and I heard... Somebody said
that you flew through the ancestral ring?

Yeah, that was us.

How does it fly?

- It's complicated. One has to...
- Where do you get a machine like that?

I mean, it's a wonderful way to travel.
Can I get one? Are they hard to fly?

Yes, they are hard to fly,
and no, you can't have one.

But I want one.

Please.

Sorry.

Well, perhaps a trade for some of
his wonderful medicines?

- Or perhaps not.
- What? You come all this way...

...you don't even wanna do a trade?

Doesn't have to be the ship.
I don't want it.

You gotta have some other stuff
to trade.

Okay, like, how do you get your hair
to go like that?

Lunch was great, but I just realized
we're running late.

- For what?
- For that important thing.

Yes, as much as we'd love
to stay, we really must go.

No. I don't want you to go.
You just got here.

We haven't had the second course.

Please, I want you to see
my medicines.

Go get the ointments, the good ones.
Go. Run. Go.

- Another time, Lucius. We gotta go.
- No.

No, I don't want you to leave.

Okay, okay, okay.

All right. Let them go.

We're all friends here, right?

Tell you what. Soon as we get back,
we'll tell our medical people...

...to come see what you have to offer,
then we'll talk about trade.

- Later today, maybe?
- Maybe.

- I'll have everything ready.
- Thank you.

You won't be disappointed.

Nice people.

- I think the word we're looking for is...
- Obnoxious? Unctuous?

Either one of those works.

The townspeople seem to love him.
There may be something to his medicine.

Sounds like snake oil to me, but might
be worth having Beckett check out.

I'm sure Carson will be able
to get us an answer soon.

- So it's back out to scout for gates?
- Yes. Right away.

It's not a race, Rodney.

Some of the herbs were gathered
from this planet...

...but most were collected from
my many excursions to other worlds.

I have to confess...

...I have concocted remedies
for almost every known ailment.

- Every single one?
- Well, every one in town.

The sick have been cured.

The lame can walk again.

Well, some still crawl, but they crawl
a lot faster than they used to.

- I see.
- Nothing pleases me more...

...than when someone comes up to me,
they say, � ou �? Thank you, Lucius.

You have cured me.
You are a wise and kind man. �

Young, old, women.

Do you like women, Dr. Beckett?

What? Yes, of course.

Yeah, I have a potion...

...that will have them lined up,
just waiting to be with you.

You know what I mean...

...when I say � be with you, � right?
- I think so, yes.

I will trade you that potion...

...for what you are holding
in your bag right now.

My medical kit?

I thought you cured
every known ailment.

Every known ailment in town.
I added that, remember?

Well, it is tempting, but I'm afraid
I couldn't do that, Lucius. Sorry.

Not yet, anyway, huh?

Come on. You must be starving.

I have a great meal lined up for us.

How did the scout go?

Well, we found an unused gate
in orbit over M3R-428.

One lousy gate. We're never
gonna meet our quota at this rate.

- What quota?
- My quota.

Daedalus is still under repair, Rodney.

We won't be able to harvest gates
till it can fly.

Did Beckett bring back
anything worth anything?

No, he hasn't returned yet.

He radioed in earlier,
said he'd like to stay longer.

Apparently he's found
something of interest.

The baby was frozen solid.

Like a statue.

Like a frozen statue.

It must have been in the water for,
I don't know...

...what seemed like an eternity.
I didn't know what to do.

You know, I was a kid myself.

I take the baby...

...and I open my coat
and I tuck the baby inside.

And I start stroking the baby's back.

Gently.

Now, I don't know...

...whether it was the warmth
of my body...

...or the steady, insistent rhythm
of my own life force...

...urging this tiny baby's heart
to begin beating again...

...but beat it did.

And a cry arose...

...piercing the cold night air...

...as if to say...

...� ou �? I am alive. �

Astonishing.

And that baby...

That baby grew up to be...

That beautiful young lady.

No, no, not her, not her. Behind her.

Maybe a little brain-damaged,
but just a little, but the story is true.

And thank you for sharing it with me.

Oh, please, Dr. Beckett.

That's what I like doing most:

To share.

To share me.

And I can see that now.

You see? All you had to do
was get to know me.

You know, Carson...

- May I call you Carson?
- Of course.

This city that you keep
going on and on about...

- Atlantis.
- Yeah, Atlantis.

On a scale of one to 10,
this village being a three...

Oh, Atlantis is definitely a 10.

- It is?
- Oh, yeah.

And those flying ships,
you still have those?

You mean the Jumpers?
We have several.

Oh, yeah. How interesting.
Tell me more.

Ach, Lucius, I think I could do
much better than that.

Incoming wormhole.

Opening the shield.
Dr. Beckett's IDC.

It's about time.

Carson.

Oh, my! When you said
this place was a 10...

...I thought, � ou �? Okay, maybe it's an eight
and a half, � but this...

- Carson?
- Oh, Dr. Weir...

...permit me
to introduce Lucius Luvin.

Speaking of stunning...

You never told me anything about her.

Oh, yeah. Yeah...

...I am definitely gonna like it here.

I can't believe you brought him here
without permission.

- I didn't think you'd mind.
- You didn't think I'd mind?

You know the protocols.
You even helped come up with them.

There's so much he can offer us.

This the same guy who said
he could cure my cold in a week?

I know my business, Colonel Sheppard.

He happens to have created several
medicines that are quite remarkable.

- Really? That guy?
- Aye.

He also possesses many valuable herbs
and spices and gourds.

- Did you just say gourds?
- Yes, Rodney, gourds.

We don't know everything,
despite what you may think.

He could prove
to be a very powerful ally.

He's a very wise and kind man.

Are you feeling all right?

What do you mean?

- It's just, you're acting a little...
- Smitten?

I had another word in mind.

- This is not something to treat lightly.
- No, it isn't.

You've brought a stranger
without prior approval.

Now he knows about the city,
as well as our gate address.

Lucius would do nothing to harm us.

He comes in peace. As our friend.

You have his word and mine on that.

- Do you think he poses a threat?
- Definitely a nuisance.

If what Beckett says is correct,
these medicines could be of value.

Just keep an eye on him.
McKay and I are heading out.

Tell Teyla and Ronon not to let him
out of their sight.

Here we are.

It's perfect.

Because you could have
my personal quarters if you wanted.

Oh, no, no. Don't be silly, Carson.
I mean, you know...

...I'll take a look at what you have,
if you insist...

...but this'll do fine for now.

Oh, good. I'm so pleased.
Just let me know if you want anything.

I can't think of anything I want more
than just being here.

Except that...

What?

- No, it's nothing.
- No, tell me.

Well, I get the feeling that your friends
don't like having me around.

Oh, Lucius. Just give them a chance
to get to know you.

- Well, I just hope I get that chance.
- Oh, you will, I promise.

I'm sure Dr. Weir
will want to negotiate...

...an alliance between
your people and ours.

- Really?
- Really.

Oh, that'd be great.

Hello. I was gonna go get
something to eat.

They forgot to bring me something.
Are you guys not allowed to talk?

Guests are not permitted
to move about unescorted.

Well, what do you say
you escort me, then?

- You don't like me yet, do you?
- Yet?

I'm sorry. My manners fail...

...when I am in the presence
of a beautiful woman.

- Isn't she something, huh?
- Yeah.

- We will have something sent to you.
- Oh, no. Come on.

- Don't make me sit all alone. Please?
- We'll both take you.

Both. Both is good. Yeah, we'll get
to know each other, then, okay?

Like, how do you get your hair
to go like that?

Just listen to what he has to say.

Thank you. Fine. I must say,
I'm starting to get concerned...

...about your interest in this man.
It seems...

...excessive.

And I find it puzzling why you've chosen
to greet Lucius with such hostility.

Perhaps it's because
you broke protocol, endangering...

And for that, I am sorry, but can we
please move on past that one mistake...

...and not further alienate
a potential ally?

Fine.

Have him come up to my office.

Hello, Dr. Weir.

Hello, Dr. Weir. Yeah.

Hello, Dr. Weir. Thank you
for granting me this audience.

It's hardly that, Mr. Luvin.

No, please. Lucius.

May this be the first of many gifts...

...that our people exchange.

Thank you.

I made it myself.

The gourd is from the marshes
of my home world...

...topped with a candle that's made
from the congealed tallow...

...of an animal...

...that I killed with my bare hands.

How nice.

It's nothing.

- Please, have a seat.
- After you.

What are you doing?

I was told that you'd like to negotiate
an alliance between our two peoples.

An alliance? Okay. Sure.

That's why I'm here,
is to talk about that.

Well, then, why don't you start
by telling me what you have to offer us?

Besides candles.

Right.

One tiny settlement
on the entire planet?

Look, all we'd have to do
is relocate them.

We're not evacuating an entire planet
so we can take their gate.

Hey. Welcome back.

Where's Zelenka?

- Well, he's not here.
- No.

No one's here.

Where is everyone?

I'm standing outside.
I don't know what to do.

I ran. I ran. I ran.

And, mind you, I'm the guy
who's holding the weapon, okay?

So here's what I do. Okay.
I'm standing there...

...and I'm running and I see the beast
just coming towards me...

...so I just step to my left, I turn around,
and just as he's coming to me...

...I take my sword, I draw it...

...and I lop off its head. And... Yeah.
And I bend over, I pick it up...

...and I walk in triumph
back to the village.

- Amazing.
- You didn't.

Oh, yes, my giant friend,
I did, and let me tell you this:

I had no trouble finding
female companionship that night.

If you know what I mean.

- Repeatedly.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What the hell is going on?

What do you mean?

What do I mean?
We leave for a few hours...

...and Lucius turns you all
into Stepford wives.

What did he do to you?

Absolutely nothing.

Carson was right about him.

I agree. He has much to offer us.

Herbs and gourds?

Please. The medicines alone
are worth whatever he asks.

The ointment is worth something?

- I haven't actually tested it.
- You're taking his word for it?

- You got a problem with that?
- Me? No. He might.

Teyla, this is the man who asked you
to be his seventh wife.

I know. I hope I didn't upset him.

You just haven't taken the time
to get to know Lucius.

Carson is right. Again.

Look, I think he could be
a great asset to us.

He has traveled extensively
throughout this galaxy...

...and gathered a tremendous amount
of intelligence.

Has he shared any of this intelligence?

Not yet...

...but he did give me this.

A very wise and kind man.

This is creeping me out.

Yeah. Reminds me of an old
Batman episode, actually.

Catwoman used a drug to put
a spell on Batman...

...make him fall in love with her. Ended
up doing all sorts of evil things for her.

Kind of a turn-on, actually.
Julie Newmar in the cat outfit...

- Eartha Kitt was Catwoman.
- Not till season three.

- Really?
- Yeah. You didn't know that?

Oh, so anyway, I did
a little investigating, and...

Surveillance footage from his quarters.

- What's this?
- I took the liberty of searching his room.

There's some residue
from the liquid in the vial.

It'll take some time
to break it down.

I could have used Carson's help
on this, but...

He's off picking daffodils
for his new friend.

Right.

That's brilliant.

This is actually
how we found your planet.

So you fly to a planet,
you take the gate, you fly away.

We try to take stargates that are
in fixed orbit around a planet...

...and then, only if the planet
is uninhabited.

It wouldn't be right to take a gate from
a world that depended on it for trade.

Wait a minute.
I've heard of this planet.

- You have?
- Yeah, I have...

...and I heard that this planet
is completely uninhabited.

It's what I heard.

I don't know about you guys, but I got
a good feeling about this planet.

Well, then we could retrofit the gate
for space deployment.

Beautiful and brilliant.

The two B's.

Dr. Weir.

Oh, hi, John. We were just discussing
the gate-harvesting program.

- Yeah, I heard.
- And Lucius knows...

...of an excellent planet
we should investigate.

I heard that too.

We got intel that the Wraith
recently set up a major outpost there.

An alliance of three hives.

- No. Really?
- Has your intel been verified?

We haven't put boots on the ground, no,
but our contacts are trustworthy.

Not gonna send a team down there when
there's still plenty of gates to scout.

John, you are
way behind Rodney's quota.

Forget Rodney's quota.

I am not sending a team
into harm's way.

You know what?
Colonel Sheppard is right.

Don't get me wrong.
With your advanced weapons...

...you could easily dispose of a tiny
Wraith outpost, if there even is one.

But ultimately...

...is it worth the risk?
No matter how small that risk may be.

- Sure, people may label you a coward...
- Will you knock it off?

Colonel.

I think it's worth investigating.

No. I won't allow it.

John, are you questioning
my authority?

Yeah, when it comes to the security
of this base, you're damn right I am.

From now on,
no one goes through that gate...

...without my authorization.

What a terrible cold he must have.

This is not like him, Lucius.

I apologize.

He makes me uncomfortable.

He's really a good man.

I don't see it.

If he doesn't come around,
you're gonna have to do something.

�lizabeth wants to send a team
to check out a gate...

...at a suspected Wraith outpost.
- Is she nuts?

Everybody's nuts, Rodney.
Haven't you noticed?

- Right.
- We need to figure out why.

I'm working on it,
but there's not enough liquid.

- I need more.
- I'll go back to Lucius'village.

- I'm sure he keeps a stash.
- You're leaving me here alone?

You said you need the liquid.

- The place is turning into a nuthouse.
- Somebody's gotta stay.

Keep away from the nuts.

Disable the DHD as soon as I'm gone.
Prevent anybody from dialing out, okay?

Willa.

Sheppard. Sheppard.

- Are you all right?
- Where is he?

- Lucius?
- Did you take him?

Of course, if you did, we're not angry.

He came to my planet on his own.

Please send him back. It hurts us
to be away from him for so long.

Have you always felt
this way about him?

No, but one day...

...as he returned from trading his wares
with a distant people...

...he told me a story,
a wonderful wise, sweet story...

...about something
he accidentally stepped in.

And from that day forward...

...we saw him for the wonderful man
he truly is.

And before that?

I am ashamed to admit that I refused
to share his bed more than once...

...and since he is gone,
everyone is growing sick.

- It has only gotten worse.
- Take it easy.

Have you ever seen him drink,
like, a liquid from a small vial?

- His daily medicine.
- Does he need more?

- I could bring it to him.
- We both can.

I can handle it.

Well, if we get you some,
will you bring him home?

Sure.

Incoming wormhole.
Colonel Sheppard's IDC.

I did. I jumped in. I jump
in the marsh and I'm looking...

...at four of them. I know,
I mean, four of them there...

...and I don't know which one to save.
- What did you do?

And the next day,
she became my wife.

My fifth wife, and now I have six.

You are a scoundrel.
That's what you are.

Come here. You gotta hear this.

Lucius was telling
the most hysterical story.

You know they have marmots
on his planet?

They're not marmots, exactly,
but it's a rodent similar...

- You said you were gonna stay away.
- Yes, well, I tried to keep to myself...

...but Lucius here was concerned for me,
so he just came down...

Ronon held me against the wall.
- -And Lucius and I had a nice, long talk.

- Oh, you did?
- And let me tell you...

...we have nothing to worry about.

This guy's just a big knucklehead.
Aren't you, you big knucklehead?

Where's �lizabeth?

She's out making me
something to eat.

- What?
- I don't know. She said it was a surprise.

So Rodney and I were waiting here
for the team to return.

- We thought that you were them.
- Teyla, Ronon, Beckett.

They volunteered
to check out M6H-491.

- I told you...
- Disable the DHD, I know.

I'm sorry, I didn't. But come on...

...Ronon and Teyla can handle
themselves.

- What about Beckett?
- Now, he can walk on his hands.

He showed Lucius before he left.
You should have seen it.

He was down on his hands...

McKay.

We don't know for sure
that there are Wraith on the planet.

We'll find out soon enough,
won't we?

We sure will.

Atlantis, this is Beckett.
We're coming in hot.

- You all right?
- It was a little rough, but we're good.

It was all terribly exciting.

Well, I guess we can assume
there are Wraith on that planet.

Yes. Many.

Now, don't overreact, John.

Are you kidding me?

You send a team led by Beckett...

...to a planet full of Wraith.
How do you expect me to react?

Well, firstly, they volunteered.

And secondly, we got the herb.

Carson, I will tell people of the tale
of your bravery for many years to come.

- You will?
- Yes, I will.

You sent them to get an herb?

We wanted to go.

Okay. I've just about had enough.

Don't touch it.

What on earth is wrong with you,
John?

We were just helping a friend.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

I think there's something wrong
with him.

You know what?

I'm just tired. It's this damn cold.

I apologize.

Maybe you should get some rest.

You're probably right.
I just need a good night's sleep.

What does this do?

That engages the HUD,
Heads Up Display.

Heads up. I love that.

It gives me information
when flying the Jumper:

- Navigation, weapons.
- You fly this thing?

- I can fly it too.
- Yes.

Now that you received
the ATA therapy, which I invented.

I was born with a gene
which makes me more proficient...

...at operating Ancient technology.
- He doesn't fly any better.

- Don't you lie...
- All right, all right. Boys...

...stop fighting. A gene, you say?

It's a genetic fingerprint, if you will,
which allows someone...

...to operate any technology
on Atlantis.

I developed an inoculation
which allows those...

...who don't naturally possess the gene,
such as Dr. McKay, to use it.

Really? A gene.
Just an inoculation, huh? That's great.

You know what's really interesting.
If you look at this here...

Doc?

Could I speak with you
for a sec?

Excuse me.

I think there might be
something wrong with me.

It's all right, son.

Admitting it is the first step.

So you finally came around, did you?

Once you get a chance to know Lucius,
he's really a very wise and kind...

Oh, crap.

Why is the Jumper bay roof opening?

Jumper 3's starting up. Who's in it?

- I don't know.
- Jumper 3, please identify.

Jumper 3, this is Flight.
Identify yourself. Look, close the door.

It's too late. It's left the bay.

Hey, Carson. Sorry about that.

What...? Why...?

I'm taking you to the mainland.
It's for your own good. Trust me.

- How often does that happen?
- Never.

We have strict flight protocol...

- He'd have to have a key...
- A security officer saw Sheppard...

...carrying Beckett to the Jumper bay
before the Jumper took off.

- So it was them in the flying machine?
- My computer's missing.

- A tablet, two drives, all my research.
- I told you that man was dangerous.

I have to say, I am very
disappointed right now.

I am so very sorry, Lucius.

Mobilize Jumper teams.
I want them found.

Yes.

They're very good. They will find them.

I need to get back.

No, you don't.

Lucius needs me. You have no right
to abduct me like this.

Call it an intervention.

You probably don't realize it now...

...but what you're going through
is kind of like a detox.

Now, according to research
Rodney was able to do...

...before joining the Lucius fan club...

...that liquid he's been drinking
contains some kind of a chemical.

It interacts with the body
and causes a secretion of a pheromone...

...and then there's something
about gamma activity...

...in the � prefrontral cortrex. �

Prefrontal cortex. The part of the brain
responsible for positive emotions.

See? That's why I need you.
It seems that when people are exposed...

...to this pheromone in close proximity,
it makes them...

...easy to influence.

The longer they're exposed,
the worse the addiction gets.

You mean literally
an addictive personality?

That's what it looks like.

It's rubbish.

Check for yourself.

I will bet you a year's pay
that the liquid in that vial...

...is some kind of an extract made
from the herb you collected for him.

He made you his mule.

If this is true,
why weren't you affected?

My cold. I can hardly breathe.

Plus, I haven't been around him much.
Look.

I would just kidnap him
and take him away somewhere...

...till the pheromone wore off...

...but the people back on his planet
are starting to get sick.

It looks like they're gonna get worse.
I don't want to...

...put our people through that.
- You're doing it to me right now.

Buck up, Carson.

You haven't been exposed that long.
Look, I need you...

...to figure out a way
how to counteract this thing.

There's gotta be an antidote
of some kind.

I can't.

Yes, you can.

You can beat it.

But he needs me.

We should head back.
We've been searching for hours.

We just left, McKay.

I don't like being this far away
from Atlantis. Lucius is worried.

- You think he's worried?
- Jumper 2, report.

We're reading several life signs.

They might be Athosian hunting parties.
We'll check them.

- Lucius worried about us?
- Lucius? He's fine. Just keep looking.

I should have stayed with him.

Wait just a minute.

What is it?

Don't move.

- That thing's set to stun, right?
- Yeah.

Good.

Carson, are you all right?

I will be, once I get back to Lucius.

What did you shoot him for?

Now we're gonna have to carry him
all the way back to the Jumper.

Good morning, colonel.

I want to apologize
for this harsh treatment.

I hate that �lizabeth had to do this.

Cut the crap.

So...

...that herb of yours...

One of my greatest discoveries.

Well, it's my only great discovery,
but you got to admit, it's pretty great.

How'd you get by before that?

I was a baker. Bread, mostly.

The occasional muffin at festival time.

So that herb
pretty much changed everything.

Yeah.

Yeah, I baked it into my own bread...
I like to experiment.

- -And I noticed that people started
to like me. Well, hate me less...

...but pretty soon it became like.

So I perfected a potion.

It worked great for years.

Then the Wraith set up
an outpost on the only planet...

...where I could get the herb.

I knew I could never go back there.

Then we showed up.

I'm telling you, it was fate.

And everybody wanted to help,
so I let them.

See, that's the great thing
about this herb.

Nobody gets hurt.

They just wanna help me all the time.
What's wrong with that?

I'm a nice guy.
I never make them do anything...

...they didn't wanna do.
- Six wives.

Sometimes all at once.

When you get over this cold,
we're gonna have a long chat.

Face to face.

And I got a feeling we're
gonna become the best of friends.

And you're gonna wanna
help me too, all the time.

And you'll love it.

Just a warning, Lucius.

You get too close to me,
it'll be the last thing you do.

That's all right, colonel.

I'm in no rush.

Lucius?

Yeah, go ahead, Carson.

- I've finished preparing the inoculation.
- All right, I'll be right down.

I gotta go get an inoculation.
We'll talk after.

- Giving you the ATA therapy?
- Yeah. Isn't that great?

There. All done.

Now, remember, it's only effective
in 47 percent of those who receive it.

Well, I'm a naturally lucky fella.

The only way to know for sure is to
have you try to operate something.

Okay.

It takes about an hour to be effective.

In the meantime, just rest easy,
dear friend.

Are you okay?
Can I get you anything?

No, Rodney. I'm fine.

- You sure?
- Absolutely.

- Because it would no trouble.
- Mess hall. Blue Jell-O.

- Just a little bit of whipped cream.
- Right away.

We really should talk about marriage.

Jumper 1, this is Flight.

The bay doors are open.

You are go for launch.

� Go for launch. �
That's so exciting. Thanks, Rodney.

All right, here goes.

- I'll take it from here.
- What...?

Wait. You're supposed to be in jail.

- Carson.
- Save your breath.

Your charm no longer has
any effect on me.

No. No, but, Carson...

- We're supposed to be best of friends.
- Carson didn't give you the ATA gene.

What?

It's a serum that effectively neutralizes
the chemical in that herb of yours.

Took some myself.

I don't know what that means.

It means we can have that face-to-face
conversation you wanted us to have.

The only thing that'll happen
is you'll catch my cold.

What is taking him so long?
Okay, I should go up there.

Wait. Wait.

They're taking off.

It worked.

He's flying it.

Fly, Lucius, fly.

- Where are you taking me?
- Little vacation.

Time to let Dr. Beckett give the serum
to my people without you interfering.

And then what?

Then maybe I'll take you back home.

I'm sure your people will be thrilled
to see you again.

You would do that for me?

Without even being
under the effect of the herb?

- After all I did?
- Well, I'm a nice guy.

Oh, colonel, I can't thank you enough.
Thank you so much...

After I give them the serum.

So how was Lucius'homecoming?

Well, they didn't kill him...

...although I do see a string
of divorces in his future.

If they haven't strung him up first.

The townspeople are over
their withdrawal. I doubt that'll happen.

That is, unless we discover he's revealed
the location of Atlantis to anyone.

In which case I said
I'd track him down...

...hang him by his feet and cut off his...
- Thank you. We get the idea.

So everyone here back to normal?

We're still fine, John.

No lingering desires?

Secret longings for his touch?

It's embarrassing enough without you
constantly reminding us, thank you.

All right, all right.

Anyway, I better get back and clean
your quarters before the next scout.

Right.

Rodney.

It was one teeny, tiny taste
for research purposes.

- Burn it.
- All of it.

Right now.

Fine. Story of my life.

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[ENGLISH]