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For one thousand centuries...
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the Falafel family has ruled
the deserts with one thing:
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00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,740
Speed!
4
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We have the fastest camels
and the fastest horses!
5
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Now, due to...
6
00:01:47,580 --> 00:01:49,990
you know what...
7
00:01:51,330 --> 00:01:54,740
we have the fastest planes...
8
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the fastest boats
and the fastest cars!
9
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Except for one: yours!
10
00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:06,040
Last year I sent you
to America for one simple task.
11
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So simple.
12
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:12,240
To emblazon the Falafel name
as the fastest in the world
13
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by winning the Cannonball Run.
14
00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:19,740
And you... failed!
15
00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:24,870
-A thousand thanks!
-But Lion of the deserts...
16
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King of Kings...
17
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-Pop!
-No excuses, you son of my ugliest wife!
18
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A thousand thanks!
19
00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:48,620
How come you have a blond,
blue-eyed slave, hm?
20
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He's an actor.
Hasn't had a series in seven years.
21
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,660
Nine!
22
00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:03,040
-Two thousand thanks!
-I know I didn't win, Pop.
23
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:06,240
I was sick. My ulcer...
24
00:03:06,330 --> 00:03:10,240
I order you back to America...
25
00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:13,620
to win the Cannonball Run!
26
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,740
I give you one last chance, because...
27
00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:20,160
you are my only son
with a driver's license.
28
00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:24,540
-But Pop, there is no Cannonball Run this year.
-So?
29
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:30,080
-Buy one.
-Of course!
30
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{\an8}[HONK HONK]
31
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{\an8}Couple of wise guys behind us.
32
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{\an8}Slow down. Let's see how ballsy they are.
33
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{\an8}-[LAUGHTER]
-Wow! That's a couple of great-looking chicks!
34
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{\an8}-So much for boredom!
-Let's nail 'em! [LAUGHING]
35
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:10,950
{\an8}♪ Ball ♪
36
00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:11,950
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
37
00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:12,950
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
38
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:13,950
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
39
00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:15,010
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
40
00:04:15,050 --> 00:04:16,280
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
41
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,010
{\an8}♪ It's not what you do ♪
42
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:20,150
{\an8}♪ It's how you do it ♪
43
00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:23,780
{\an8}♪ Be anything
you wanna be ♪
44
00:04:23,820 --> 00:04:25,110
{\an8}♪ It's not what you got ♪
45
00:04:25,150 --> 00:04:27,810
{\an8}♪ It's how you use it ♪
46
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,780
{\an8}♪ You be you,
and I’ll be me ♪
47
00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:33,910
{\an8}♪ It's just a matter
of style ♪
48
00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:34,980
{\an8}♪ You can't fake it ♪
49
00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:37,050
{\an8}♪ Mile after mile
feelin' free ♪
50
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:41,080
{\an8}♪ If you got the soul ♪
51
00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:41,880
{\an8}♪ You can make it ♪
52
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,050
{\an8}♪ Move 'em out ♪
♪ Move 'em out ♪
53
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,210
{\an8}♪ Let 'em roll ♪
♪ Let 'em roll ♪
54
00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:48,680
{\an8}♪ From sea to shinin' sea ♪
55
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:53,150
{\an8}♪ Sea to shining sea ♪
56
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{\an8}♪ Ball ♪
57
00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:58,780
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
58
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{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
59
00:05:03,660 --> 00:05:06,740
{\an8}-Wise broads.
-They can't outrun the radio.
60
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,618
{\an8}Charlie, you got one heading your way.
61
00:05:08,701 --> 00:05:09,990
{\an8}You'll see it in about three minutes.
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{\an8}You're three minutes are up!
Man, a couple of great-looking chicks!
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{\an8}Road's straight as an arrow.
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{\an8}I can see for five miles.
Wonder where they are?
65
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{\an8}Don't panic. Just watch
the side roads for dust.
66
00:05:34,111 --> 00:05:35,580
{\an8}No way they can shake us.
67
00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:48,490
{\an8}-You heard me. I think we lost 'em.
-How can you lose a white Lamborghini
68
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:54,160
{\an8}-with two chicks in the middle of nowhere?
-What is this? A quiz? We lost 'em, okay?
69
00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:57,740
{\an8}Haha. I just found 'em, son.
This here's the end of the hunt.
70
00:05:57,870 --> 00:05:59,580
{\an8}Good luck, buddy!
71
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:07,580
{\an8}George, I figure they gotta be between us.
Just pull out and block the damn' road.
72
00:06:08,790 --> 00:06:11,830
{\an8}You got any other bright ideas?
73
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,080
{\an8}I'm eastbound in pursuit
of a white Lamborghini.
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00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,830
{\an8}This is not a recording.
75
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{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
76
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{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
77
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,080
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
78
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,910
{\an8}♪ It's not what you do ♪
79
00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:53,050
{\an8}♪ It's how you do it ♪
80
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,320
{\an8}♪ Be anything
you wanna be ♪
81
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,880
{\an8}♪ It's not what you got ♪
82
00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,320
{\an8}♪ It's how you use it ♪
83
00:06:59,350 --> 00:07:00,680
{\an8}Hey, thanks for the hose job!
84
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,110
{\an8}♪ You be you,
and I’ll be me ♪
85
00:07:02,150 --> 00:07:06,180
{\an8}♪ It's just a matter
of style ♪
86
00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:07,780
{\an8}♪ You can't fake it ♪
87
00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:10,110
{\an8}♪ Mile after mile
feelin' free ♪
88
00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:13,350
{\an8}♪ If you got the soul ♪
89
00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:15,010
{\an8}♪ You can make it ♪
90
00:07:15,050 --> 00:07:17,080
{\an8}♪ Move 'em out ♪
♪ Move 'em out ♪
91
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,350
{\an8}♪ Let 'em roll ♪
92
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:22,790
{\an8}If I tell you boys something, you won't
think I've been drinking, will ya?
93
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:27,490
{\an8}The white Lamborghini is vanished, but there's
a red one behind me honking its horn.
94
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:31,676
{\an8}Correction! It's passing me, and it's
got two great-looking chicks in it!
95
00:07:31,780 --> 00:07:33,320
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
96
00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:34,980
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
97
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:36,810
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
98
00:07:36,850 --> 00:07:38,850
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
99
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,320
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
100
00:07:40,350 --> 00:07:41,810
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
101
00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:45,810
{\an8}♪ Whoooooooo ♪
102
00:07:45,850 --> 00:07:48,110
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
103
00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:50,180
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
104
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:53,680
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
105
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:58,740
-You know Marcie, we've got this routine down.
-Yeah, I think we're ready for the Cannonball.
106
00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:01,620
Oh yeah, I think so.
How far is Redondo Beach?
107
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,740
-150 miles.
-Hm, an hour flat.
108
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,276
What are we waiting for? Let's go!
109
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,250
{\an8}♪ Ball ♪
110
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,250
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
111
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,750
{\an8}♪ Hey, now, Cannonball ♪
112
00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:14,050
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
113
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,780
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
114
00:08:16,820 --> 00:08:18,580
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
115
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:20,080
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
116
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,080
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
117
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,710
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
118
00:08:23,750 --> 00:08:25,250
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
119
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,610
{\an8}♪ Whoooooooo ♪
120
00:08:27,650 --> 00:08:29,250
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
121
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,250
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
122
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,120
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
123
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:36,810
{\an8}♪ Cannonball ♪
124
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,830
P.A.: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen
to the fifth annual Madera air show.
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00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:46,790
The greatest, most sensational gathering
of stunt pilots and daredevils in the US.
126
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:50,740
Displays of flying and courage
like you've never seen before...
127
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,830
concluding with the most
death-defying stunt of them all:
128
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,580
The human Bomb!
So grab your kids, grab your hats.
129
00:08:57,750 --> 00:09:00,620
The festivities will begin shortly!
130
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:09,160
Are you sure this is a good idea, J.J?
131
00:09:10,370 --> 00:09:12,540
A good idea?
132
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-We're gonna get so rich. Rich!
-Rich?
133
00:09:15,790 --> 00:09:19,490
We're gonna split everything 50/50
right down the middle. We're partners!
134
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:22,040
-Partners?
-You bet. We're friends, aren't we?
135
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,930
-Partners and friends.
-And we're gonna be rich.
136
00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:26,370
-Rich partners and friends.
-That's right!
137
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:30,580
-What if something goes wrong?
-What could go wrong?
138
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,790
We've got the ace dive
bomber pilot from World War II.
139
00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:37,170
-Dive bomber?
-Oh yeah.
140
00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:39,290
He'll let you go right out of the plane...
141
00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:40,693
-[TAP TAP]
-with this.
142
00:09:40,776 --> 00:09:41,960
And you'll go right through that target.
143
00:09:42,050 --> 00:09:43,160
-Target?
-Right through...
144
00:09:43,370 --> 00:09:45,910
-and into a net, strong net...
-Net?
145
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:49,790
And if you go through the net, then you'll
land in some hay. I mean, so much hay
146
00:09:49,910 --> 00:09:53,620
-you could feed all the cattle in Texas.
-What am I worried about?
147
00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:56,830
-Nothing! Are you crazy?
-I'm so glad you're laughing.
148
00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:01,660
He can't miss! He can't miss!
I bless you. You will not miss.
149
00:10:01,790 --> 00:10:05,040
-J.J., I'm still scared. Yeah.
-You're still scared?
150
00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:09,410
Well, if you're scared,
you could always have him do it.
151
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:13,660
"Him" doesn't come unless
there's grave danger to human life.
152
00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:16,330
Right...
153
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:19,910
You oughta call "him".
154
00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:25,370
Hello, this is Jack smith.
155
00:10:25,870 --> 00:10:30,160
We've brought our cameras to record for our
30 million viewers a vintage dive bomber,
156
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:34,290
flying on a simulated attack run,
drop a human bomb.
157
00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:37,740
A man encased in steel,
risking life and limb,
158
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:40,910
hurtling to the ground
at 140 miles per hour!
159
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,910
Now, this is a man
of such great courage
160
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,330
that he's destined to become
a household name.
161
00:10:46,540 --> 00:10:49,160
He'll be besieged for autographs,
162
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:52,490
his picture will be on magazine
covers all over the world.
163
00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:55,660
Millions of adoring women
will be at his feet.
164
00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:58,580
He's bound to become
a national celebrity.
165
00:11:00,150 --> 00:11:03,045
♪ Da da daaa ♪
166
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,290
Oh, shit...
167
00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:11,660
-J.J! Long time no see!
-Nice to see you, Captain Chaos.
168
00:11:12,290 --> 00:11:16,240
-Listen, I'd like to take your place in the bomb.
-Have no fear. "Him" is here.
169
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:18,200
-It'd make me very happy.
-You want it?
170
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,370
-Yes.
-You got it.
171
00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:22,740
-Thank you. Okay.
-Suck in!
172
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,025
What a guy!
173
00:11:25,108 --> 00:11:26,980
♪ Deutschland,
Deutschland ♪
174
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,810
♪ Uber alles ♪
175
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:31,850
♪ uber alles in der-- ♪
176
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,540
Give me a D, give me a D,
give me a D-E-U,
177
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:40,040
give me a T, give me a T,
T-S-C-H.
178
00:11:40,290 --> 00:11:43,410
Yea, Deutschland!
Listen...
179
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,620
-You think you might like a beer?
-Hey!
180
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:51,040
-Hey! I want outta here!
-Deutschland, Deutschland...
181
00:11:51,330 --> 00:11:53,990
You asked for it!
182
00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:06,120
P.A.: Here he comes, folks...
Here he is...
183
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:09,040
One of the most dangerous stunts
we've ever had performed in Madera.
184
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:16,120
On his final approach... This has
to be perfect the first time around.
185
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:46,160
That's my partner.
What a team!
186
00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:49,780
P.A.: The crash trucks are on their way.
We'll have word on his condition in a minute.
187
00:12:49,830 --> 00:12:52,620
What a pilot! What a pilot!
Are you okay?
188
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:56,240
Oh my goodness, did you see that?
Wasn't that fantastic?
189
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:59,370
{\an8}-I'm so terrifically happy...
-Oh, shut up and get me outta here!
190
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,740
-Did you hear the crowd? We were terrific!
-Get me out!
191
00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:05,620
I can just see us on People magazine.
We're gonna be a big hit!
192
00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:08,330
J.J., you seem a little shorter!
193
00:13:08,790 --> 00:13:11,390
J.J., are you okay? You know something?
194
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,490
-I figured it out.
-Yeah?
195
00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:14,480
-If we do this ten times a day...
-Yeah?
196
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,910
By the end of the year
we're gonna be billionaires!
197
00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:20,340
-What is that?
-Oh don't worry about that.
198
00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:21,240
It's the Cannonball Race.
199
00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:25,290
It's on again. A million dollars' the prize.
Don't worry. We're gonna be billionaires.
200
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,660
-What did I say?
-You want me to do this ten times a day?
201
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,740
Nine?
202
00:13:34,870 --> 00:13:37,370
What a grouch!
203
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:48,990
I asked you to come here
out of respect for the family.
204
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,910
In the past, the Cannelloni family
205
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:58,080
was the richest and most
powerful family of all the families.
206
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:03,410
We controlled drugs,
prostitution, extortion,
207
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,740
-prostitution, gambling...
-Eh.
208
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,910
You said "prostitution" twice.
209
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,790
Well, I like it. And now...
210
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:18,490
the Rigatonis, the Tortellinis,
the Fettucinis...
211
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:22,740
and even the Raviolis
are bigger than we are.
212
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,370
And why?
213
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,570
High interest rates?
214
00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:31,990
-Acid rain?
-Japanese imports?
215
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:39,740
None of the above.
216
00:14:40,540 --> 00:14:43,410
No... No... No.
217
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:45,540
You I'm not even gonna answer.
218
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:50,120
Gee boss, if I knew there was gonna
be a test I... I would have studied.
219
00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:54,370
When I passed on
the powers of the Don...
220
00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:56,990
to my son Don,
221
00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:00,040
making him Don Don,
222
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:02,370
I had high hopes for him.
223
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:07,330
And what has he done?
He has only brought us disgrace...
224
00:15:07,580 --> 00:15:09,740
and shame.
225
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,080
Wait a minute...
226
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:19,040
This cat is dead.
227
00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:23,580
Get me a new cat.
228
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,740
Oh God...
229
00:15:29,370 --> 00:15:31,990
The cat could have been a contender.
230
00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:34,580
I should have thought...
Thank you.
231
00:15:34,820 --> 00:15:35,917
[MEOW]
232
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,120
It's a tabby. Very nice.
233
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:41,680
[MRREOWWWW]
234
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,290
It's a boy.
235
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:52,490
Boys, go to Vegas.
Lean on Don.
236
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:55,540
-Don Don.
-Hm?
237
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,740
We're here to straighten out your affairs.
238
00:15:58,410 --> 00:16:01,040
What are your assets?
239
00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:06,160
Well, I'm good-natured and I dress well.
And some people think...
240
00:16:08,540 --> 00:16:12,290
-What about your liabilities?
-Well, there is...
241
00:16:12,410 --> 00:16:14,740
one small liability.
242
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,080
What?
243
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:19,370
Well... I could use a tummy tuck.
244
00:16:19,830 --> 00:16:22,160
A tummy tuck? A tummy tuck?!
245
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,160
-I'll kill him... I'll kill him. I'll kill him.
-Calm yourself.
246
00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:32,040
Don Don, do you have any
outstanding markers?
247
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:35,490
-Look in the in-box.
-Look in the in-box.
248
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:42,240
30,000... It's not too
outstanding, but it's a start.
249
00:16:44,410 --> 00:16:45,640
Fenderbaum?
250
00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:48,370
-Uh-huh.
-Fenderbaum...
251
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:54,300
You better call Jim
and tell him where his car is.
252
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:57,240
Me? I called last time. You call Jim.
253
00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:05,490
-Well, hi there!
-Hi! Could I help you girls?
254
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,740
-This thing's stuck.
-Oh yeah. Yeah.
255
00:17:10,370 --> 00:17:13,830
-Take a hike, Mike.
-Yeah, get lost.
256
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:22,990
-Ugh. What a jerk!
-Okay. What are we gonna do? Marcie, hey.
257
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,990
Hey, honey. Right here, yeah.
Come on here, baby.
258
00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:29,160
Hi, sugar.
259
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,290
-You girls all right?
-Could be.
260
00:17:35,370 --> 00:17:38,040
This is a beauty.
Doesn't sound stock.
261
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:42,490
It isn't. I took the six out
and shoe-horned in a 383 hemi.
262
00:17:42,540 --> 00:17:45,990
-It's hot, baby.
-Hey, you got room for two more?
263
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,520
-I'm Marcie.
-Yeah, and I'm Jill.
264
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,330
-I'm George.
-Let's go, Georgie.
265
00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:59,490
L.A. Tower to Japan cargo.
Report to hangar three.
266
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,540
Roger, Tower.
267
00:18:02,410 --> 00:18:06,040
No luck. They want us in customs.
They'll impound your car for two days.
268
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:09,370
That means, you're gonna miss the race.
What do you want to do?
269
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,740
-Okay, down!
-Okay.
270
00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:15,140
Change of plans. You're bailing out.
271
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,327
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
272
00:18:17,410 --> 00:18:19,540
-Button up!
-Roger.
273
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:24,330
Battle stations!
274
00:18:31,050 --> 00:18:33,950
[HORN HONKS]
275
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:06,660
Okay, make us invisible.
276
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,280
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
277
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:55,410
I know you're in there, Blake.
I can hear the ice cubes.
278
00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:58,910
This is me, Fenderbaum.
So open up!
279
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,290
Blake, I know you're in there!
280
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,750
♪ The candy man can ♪
281
00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:34,080
♪ Everybody loves somebody,
sometime... ♪
282
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:40,830
When I make a dry martini,
I make a dry martini.
283
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:46,350
[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]
284
00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:50,330
-There's somebody at the window.
-That's just the window cleaner.
285
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,110
[KNOCK KNOCK]
286
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:56,370
-Honey, who is it?
-I don't know. There's nobody there.
287
00:20:56,790 --> 00:20:57,990
Blake!
288
00:20:59,370 --> 00:21:04,120
-Open up the window!
-I'll be back in a minute. Don't go away.
289
00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:07,740
I'm gonna kill him.
290
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:12,830
-There's nothing out here.
-Blake! Down here!
291
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,990
I don't care what it is.
Not now!
292
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,240
But I gotta talk to you now.
293
00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:23,540
-You gotta?
-Yes.
294
00:21:30,410 --> 00:21:34,040
Do you know that I'm eighteen
stories above the ground? Eighteen!
295
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,240
-Eighteen?
-Yes, eighteen!
296
00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:42,040
Eighteen?
297
00:21:49,580 --> 00:21:52,240
You know you're the tallest
short guy I've ever seen?
298
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,660
Read this, will you? Just read that.
That's from the Sheik.
299
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,990
They're gonna start the Cannonball again.
And the sheik's putting up
300
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:06,160
$1 million to the winner. And you know
who the winner will be? $1 million!
301
00:22:06,830 --> 00:22:10,040
Take it easy now.
No, don't come out.
302
00:22:10,250 --> 00:22:12,660
-I'll come in.
-Blake?
303
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,740
-Where are you going?
-I gotta do it. It's a million dollars.
304
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,290
You creep!
305
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:27,990
-Where did you get the scaffold?
-Huh? I thought this was the elevator.
306
00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:44,830
I see you got my telegram, Doctor.
307
00:22:45,910 --> 00:22:48,790
Was that that yellow thing
with the printing on it?
308
00:22:48,870 --> 00:22:50,630
-Yes.
-I got that, yes.
309
00:22:50,710 --> 00:22:52,740
I read that. It's uhm...
310
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,660
It was... What does it say?
311
00:22:56,830 --> 00:22:59,580
It said I wish to employ your services
312
00:22:59,750 --> 00:23:03,160
to take care of my royal ulcer
during the Cannonball Run.
313
00:23:04,290 --> 00:23:06,780
-Do you know much about ulcers?
-[GRUMBLES]
314
00:23:06,870 --> 00:23:10,490
Proctology's my specialty.
315
00:23:10,830 --> 00:23:13,160
I'm very probably...
316
00:23:13,540 --> 00:23:17,080
the world's most famous
expert on ulcers.
317
00:23:18,540 --> 00:23:22,910
I should probably give you an
examination right now. Open up there.
318
00:23:27,580 --> 00:23:31,240
I sterilized it.
Before we go any further...
319
00:23:32,660 --> 00:23:36,790
There's the matter of my fee.
We should discuss my fee...
320
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,990
It's... just about that amount.
321
00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:49,540
-Hey, wait a minute. You gonna drink milk?
-Yeah.
322
00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:52,490
Aren't you afraid it's gonna curdle
when it hits your liver?
323
00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:55,240
My liver died last year.
324
00:23:56,620 --> 00:23:58,950
-Can I help you?
-[SPEAKING CHINESE]
325
00:23:59,750 --> 00:24:01,490
Anybody around here speak Oriental?
326
00:24:01,850 --> 00:24:03,750
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
327
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:07,830
Sure. One sake coming up.
328
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,740
What he said was:
"Blackjack and water"
329
00:24:17,750 --> 00:24:19,490
Now!
330
00:24:21,290 --> 00:24:24,080
-You got it?
-Yes Sir. Coming right up.
331
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:30,240
We'll get a nice big bottle of champagne,
and then we'll go up to my place.
332
00:24:30,410 --> 00:24:32,830
Father, what are you saying?
333
00:24:33,910 --> 00:24:36,580
Didn't you ever see Thornbirds?
334
00:24:38,580 --> 00:24:42,330
Hey pal, I'll never get laid
in this outfit.
335
00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:45,990
From now on, I'm gonna wear
nothing but open collars.
336
00:24:46,500 --> 00:24:50,740
-No man can live by bread alone.
-I can. I love bread.
337
00:24:50,790 --> 00:24:54,370
You know, my favorite is a
Parker House roll. It just is so nice.
338
00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:57,910
And then the Russian rye. You know,
there's so many raisins in it that...
339
00:24:58,410 --> 00:25:01,490
-I'm not talking about that.
-O... Okay.
340
00:25:01,790 --> 00:25:04,660
-I'm talking about women. Women.
-Women?
341
00:25:04,870 --> 00:25:09,410
I want a girl that's sensitive and
vulnerable. I really... I need a girl.
342
00:25:09,870 --> 00:25:12,910
-Yeah! Me too.
-You?
343
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:17,830
-Sure. Hey J.J., I'm not a eunuch, you know?
-Of course you're not a eunuch.
344
00:25:17,910 --> 00:25:20,370
Don't put yourself down like that.
345
00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:23,490
You have a striking resemblance
to a eunuch, but you...
346
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:27,990
I'm just kidding. You want a girl?
You can have one of my girls.
347
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,360
-I couldn't take one of your girls.
-Oh, you can.
348
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,410
Well, maybe just one.
349
00:25:31,580 --> 00:25:33,370
To clear up my complexion.
350
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,240
-So tomorrow... we turn over a new leaf.
-Tomorrow. A new leaf.
351
00:25:39,540 --> 00:25:42,410
-Up and clean!
-Up and clean.
352
00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:47,990
And tonight... down and dirty.
353
00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:53,540
-Hi J.J!
-Hi! Are you guys doing anything tonight?
354
00:25:53,620 --> 00:25:55,210
-Not now.
-Ah, well.
355
00:25:55,300 --> 00:25:57,410
Let's go somewhere and talk
about pistons and camshafts.
356
00:25:57,500 --> 00:25:59,740
Coming, J.J!
357
00:26:15,620 --> 00:26:19,410
Do we still owe Don Don $30,000?
358
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,290
-Did you pay him?
-No.
359
00:26:22,620 --> 00:26:25,040
Well, then we still owe him $30,000!
360
00:26:26,580 --> 00:26:29,620
Well, one of his collection men
came to collect it.
361
00:26:29,830 --> 00:26:33,830
-Wh... wh... where?
-He's at the front door, but don't look.
362
00:26:35,830 --> 00:26:38,490
I said don't look!
363
00:26:38,750 --> 00:26:42,120
If he's at the front door,
we'll go out the back door,
364
00:26:42,250 --> 00:26:45,240
since he can't be at two places
at one time, right?
365
00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:48,410
-That's a good suggestion.
-Split city.
366
00:26:51,250 --> 00:26:54,290
-We're gonna die.
-Aye.
367
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:02,080
-What are they gonna do to us?
-Don't know what they're gonna do to you,
368
00:27:02,250 --> 00:27:06,740
but since Mr. T. ain't here, I'm gonna be
too busy lickin' their boots to see!
369
00:27:14,410 --> 00:27:16,990
The money, or I'll blow you away!
370
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,370
I'll take the money.
371
00:27:21,330 --> 00:27:26,490
Listen guys, why would a couple of
operators like us be in Redondo Beach
372
00:27:26,620 --> 00:27:28,870
with a bunch of hayseeds in jumpsuits?
373
00:27:28,950 --> 00:27:31,170
Okay, wise guys. You tell us!
374
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,290
We're gonna race to
Connecticut and the one that wins
375
00:27:34,370 --> 00:27:38,660
-gets $1 million in cash!
-Only a moron would back up a race like that.
376
00:27:39,750 --> 00:27:41,830
Ahh, Fenderboom, Blake!
377
00:27:42,370 --> 00:27:45,990
Good to see you!
You should be sleeping at this hour.
378
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,490
Remember, we leave at noon tomorrow.
379
00:27:52,290 --> 00:27:55,790
Wingtips? Barbarians.
380
00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:02,240
Come, come! Buy yourselves
a decent clothing store.
381
00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:05,490
-Infidels!
-That's the moron.
382
00:28:06,370 --> 00:28:10,080
You know, these liars
could be telling the truth.
383
00:28:29,910 --> 00:28:32,740
Hymie Kaplan, what a surprise!
384
00:28:33,370 --> 00:28:35,910
Oh wow! You look wonderful!
385
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:41,240
What brings you to the Pinto Ranch?
Is it business or pleasure?
386
00:28:45,250 --> 00:28:47,490
-May I have a chair?
-Oh, certainly.
387
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,240
Oh, it's business.
388
00:28:55,620 --> 00:28:57,740
I just spoke to Dad, isn't that funny?
389
00:28:57,870 --> 00:29:00,270
Don. You don't mind if I
call you Don Don, do you?
390
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:01,540
No, no.
391
00:29:01,620 --> 00:29:06,290
Oh good, Don Don. When your father was having
a little trouble with you in Brooklyn,
392
00:29:06,410 --> 00:29:10,490
he called me and asked me for a favor.
Could he send you out here to Vegas
393
00:29:10,830 --> 00:29:14,040
so that I could watch over yours.
So what do I do?
394
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,740
I give you a job working at the casino.
And what did you do?
395
00:29:16,870 --> 00:29:20,020
You spend all your time
working on the chorus lines!
396
00:29:20,100 --> 00:29:20,960
One line!
397
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,580
-I slept with one lousy chorus line!
-Shut up!
398
00:29:25,250 --> 00:29:28,040
The second favor I do for yours:
you come to me
399
00:29:28,330 --> 00:29:31,900
-and I lend you the money to start this...
-Hymie,
400
00:29:31,983 --> 00:29:35,233
-the recession has hurt every small businessman.
-Oh yeah.
401
00:29:35,776 --> 00:29:36,682
[FINGER-SNAP]
402
00:29:36,765 --> 00:29:39,290
-What does he owe?
-As of 9:30,
403
00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:43,580
the compounded 24% interest
weekly brings it to exactly
404
00:29:43,870 --> 00:29:48,735
9 million, 332 thousand,
448 dollars and 55 cents.
405
00:29:49,330 --> 00:29:51,240
Hymie, I'm doing the best I can!
406
00:29:51,540 --> 00:29:54,080
What?! I'll kill you.
407
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:01,290
That's what's so tragic.
I'm gonna do you another big favor.
408
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,240
I'll give you exactly until
tomorrow to pay everything off.
409
00:30:05,330 --> 00:30:07,330
-Well, it's no problem 'cause...
-Shut up.
410
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,660
Exactly 24 hours, Don Don.
411
00:30:11,790 --> 00:30:13,910
I mean, Dumb Dumb.
412
00:30:14,910 --> 00:30:17,410
I think I call you
Dumb Dumb from now on.
413
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,120
What do you think about that, chaps?
414
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,660
-It's very funny, boss!
-It ain't funny!
415
00:30:25,790 --> 00:30:28,120
Now, I'll tell you
when somethin' is funny!
416
00:30:29,790 --> 00:30:32,040
Mañana, Dumb Dumb.
417
00:30:32,910 --> 00:30:34,740
Hymie, one question.
418
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,330
Oh my God!
419
00:30:41,290 --> 00:30:43,370
What was the question?
420
00:30:43,750 --> 00:30:46,080
It'll keep, Hymie.
421
00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:55,330
-Are you sure this guy's your uncle?
-Yeah, and I told you he's your uncle too.
422
00:30:55,410 --> 00:30:58,290
Listen, I told you, don't tell me,
don't explain it to me again, please.
423
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,240
He's my mother's brother,
who moved to California, and my mother
424
00:31:02,370 --> 00:31:05,120
is your father's sister,
and you're my mother's brother's son.
425
00:31:10,870 --> 00:31:14,740
-Is that our uncle?
-As... as they said, he had... er...
426
00:31:14,830 --> 00:31:17,910
er... a white limo.
I ain't seen him in 20 years.
427
00:31:18,370 --> 00:31:20,830
He's from your side of the family.
428
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,370
Uncle Cal?
429
00:31:26,830 --> 00:31:31,040
Howdy, boys!
Cal's the name and cars is my game.
430
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:35,290
Got some real sweetheart
for little down and 9.9% financing.
431
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:40,830
Uncle Cal, I'm... I'm your nephew...
er... Melvin from North Carolina.
432
00:31:41,250 --> 00:31:45,490
-You're my brother and sister's boy?
-And I'm your nephew Tony from Brooklyn.
433
00:31:45,830 --> 00:31:48,240
What pair are you out of?
434
00:31:48,500 --> 00:31:52,040
Well, it don't matter. Guess you boys
are wandering about my driver?
435
00:31:54,330 --> 00:31:56,990
He sure looks a little...
er... little... er... little...
436
00:31:57,410 --> 00:31:59,240
He... he's weird.
437
00:31:59,290 --> 00:32:02,040
Yeah, I mean, is it easy
to get a license in this town?
438
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,240
Oh, he ain't got no license! Come here.
439
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:10,740
I do all the driving from here. He just
sits there and looks like he's driving.
440
00:32:10,830 --> 00:32:13,620
It's a publicity gimmick.
I got a slogan:
441
00:32:13,750 --> 00:32:16,990
"If a monkey can drive, so can you!"
442
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,790
I love this boy.
He's part of our family.
443
00:32:25,790 --> 00:32:28,790
Come on, son. Ain't he cute?
444
00:32:29,910 --> 00:32:33,660
Hey look. Hey, Uncle Cal.
We got a real real problem.
445
00:32:33,750 --> 00:32:37,660
Hey Uncle Cal, we ain't got any
money right now. We're flat broke.
446
00:32:37,750 --> 00:32:40,080
Yeah, but we need a car right away.
447
00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:45,580
-What are you boys doin' out here?
-Uncle Cal, we... er... we're Ca...
448
00:32:45,910 --> 00:32:48,540
-We're... we're Cannon...
-We are Cannonballers.
449
00:32:49,330 --> 00:32:52,490
Stop it, boy! I told you
not to play with the phones.
450
00:32:54,790 --> 00:32:57,990
Damn chimp costs me
$300 a month in wrong numbers.
451
00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:03,660
Hey, stop it, you primate!
That's it! I've had it with you!
452
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,490
Excuse me, fellas. I've gotta
teach this old boy some manners.
453
00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:09,740
Son!
454
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:13,740
Now you've stepped in it!
455
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:21,240
Boys, I got one condition on the deal.
456
00:33:21,410 --> 00:33:26,490
I'm gonna give you the limo, but only if you
take this hairy son-of-a-bitch with you!
457
00:33:31,620 --> 00:33:34,990
-If he's a choreographer, I'm an aviator.
-Really?
458
00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:40,290
-Same old slop. Let's go to the coffee shop.
-Alright.
459
00:33:40,540 --> 00:33:43,040
-See you at the matinee?
-Yeah.
460
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:47,290
If I have to sing Sound of Music
one more time, I'm gonna croak!
461
00:33:47,370 --> 00:33:51,240
I'm so sick of the Crap family,
I'm gonna scream!
462
00:33:54,830 --> 00:33:58,080
-Oh, it's so crowded.
-Why do we eat here at all?
463
00:33:58,910 --> 00:34:02,040
-Here Sisters, take this table. We're finished.
-Oh, thank you.
464
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,290
Very generous and very sweet
of you. Bless you. Awfully nice of you.
465
00:34:11,540 --> 00:34:14,790
I tell you, I'm sick of coffee shops,
I'm sick of the show.
466
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,580
-I'm sick of show business.
-Betty, look at it this way:
467
00:34:17,660 --> 00:34:21,330
-It's a stepping stone to Broadway.
-I'm getting out while I'm at the bottom.
468
00:34:21,410 --> 00:34:24,580
Finito, Veronica. I wanna get
married, I wanna have a big house.
469
00:34:24,750 --> 00:34:27,660
I just wanna find some nice,
sweet, bozo millionaire.
470
00:34:27,910 --> 00:34:29,750
You know what I'm gonna do
with my half of the million?
471
00:34:29,830 --> 00:34:30,780
-Tell me.
-Alright.
472
00:34:30,870 --> 00:34:33,490
I'm gonna buy my mom a great,
big, brand new house.
473
00:34:33,830 --> 00:34:36,020
And I'm gonna buy my nephew a pony.
474
00:34:36,110 --> 00:34:39,510
And I will get the kid a shovel,
because ponies...
475
00:34:39,590 --> 00:34:42,490
-I tell you somethin'
-J.J., what are you gonna do with yours?
476
00:34:42,540 --> 00:34:43,470
My money's gonna be gone,
477
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,290
-before I even get to the car.
-Really?
478
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:50,910
-Come on, let's go introduce ourselves.
-Are you crazy?
479
00:34:51,410 --> 00:34:54,160
-Oh my God!
-For Jesus Christ!
480
00:34:58,910 --> 00:35:03,870
Excuse us gentlemen, but we have
just spilled coffee all over the table.
481
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,620
-Would you mind, if we sat with you?
-Sit with us?
482
00:35:06,750 --> 00:35:08,810
-You wanna join us?
-Oh no, don't get up.
483
00:35:08,900 --> 00:35:10,490
-Sure.
-Boy-nun, boy-nun.
484
00:35:11,410 --> 00:35:14,160
-Boy-nun, boy-nun?
-Thank you, Sir.
485
00:35:14,370 --> 00:35:16,400
-J.J., they're gonna join us.
-Yeah.
486
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:17,370
Thank you.
487
00:35:17,460 --> 00:35:19,740
-I'm Sister Veronica.
-And I'm Sister Betty.
488
00:35:19,910 --> 00:35:23,740
-How do you do?
-I'm J.J. McClure and this is Victor Prinze.
489
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:27,040
-We're partners.
-Are you boys married?
490
00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:29,740
No, just partners.
491
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,370
-Partners? Well, sweet.
-Sister Betty?
492
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:38,340
That's correct. But we're not partners,
we're sisters. Not real sisters.
493
00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:43,790
-We're just in the same order together.
-So what do you gentlemen do for a living?
494
00:35:44,290 --> 00:35:46,660
We race across the country.
For money.
495
00:35:46,750 --> 00:35:49,990
Oh, and we're gonna have
a race today to the East Coast.
496
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,540
Are you racing to Broadway?
497
00:35:54,830 --> 00:35:57,160
Connecticut. What order
did you say you're from?
498
00:35:57,330 --> 00:35:59,790
Oh, actually it's just a...
a bunch of girls.
499
00:35:59,910 --> 00:36:03,120
-Bunch of girls?
-We're affiliated together in the Order of...
500
00:36:03,370 --> 00:36:05,210
-Immaculate...
-Chastity.
501
00:36:05,290 --> 00:36:06,990
The Order of Immaculate Chastity.
502
00:36:07,370 --> 00:36:11,830
The Order of Immaculate Chastity.
I read the Bible all the time.
503
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,240
In fact, I read the Bible that was
printed on the head of a pin.
504
00:36:15,500 --> 00:36:18,040
That was hard.
But I never heard of the...
505
00:36:18,330 --> 00:36:21,690
Well, you have to read the New Testament.
That... It's not even in the New Testament.
506
00:36:21,750 --> 00:36:22,730
It's the New...
507
00:36:22,810 --> 00:36:24,410
-New Wave.
-Aha!
508
00:36:24,660 --> 00:36:27,740
-New... New Test... very progressive Testament.
-We'll try to catch it.
509
00:36:28,750 --> 00:36:31,040
We have holy work to do. Let's go.
510
00:36:31,370 --> 00:36:33,740
Okay. Well, maybe some other time.
511
00:36:34,500 --> 00:36:36,320
At what time did you say your race is?
512
00:36:36,410 --> 00:36:38,990
-Noon.
-At the Portofino Inn, Sister.
513
00:36:39,790 --> 00:36:42,790
-Goodbye, Sister veronica.
-Come, Sister Betty.
514
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,620
-Nice meetin' you, Sister. Bye bye.
-Thank you.
515
00:36:45,750 --> 00:36:48,540
Come on, hurry Sister Betty,
we have lots of lepers waiting.
516
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:52,310
-Don Don?
-What is it now?
517
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:53,290
Everything is fine.
518
00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:56,990
What we did is,
we put our heads together
519
00:36:57,290 --> 00:37:01,120
and we're gonna rip off the Arab
on the road during the car race.
520
00:37:01,540 --> 00:37:05,910
You put your heads together, huh?
It must have sounded like a bowling alley!
521
00:37:06,330 --> 00:37:09,210
-Yes, Don Don.
-We need millions of dollars by...
522
00:37:09,290 --> 00:37:10,120
What time is it now?
523
00:37:10,250 --> 00:37:12,330
Oh my God! By tomorrow!
524
00:37:12,830 --> 00:37:16,080
If we can get the sheik,
we got the money.
525
00:37:16,370 --> 00:37:19,910
He wants us to rip off the Arab
and then kidnap him.
526
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:24,240
-What for?
-What for?!! Ransom, you idiots! Ransom.
527
00:37:24,290 --> 00:37:26,410
R-A-N-S-U-M!
Ransom!
528
00:37:26,660 --> 00:37:29,580
-Understand, you imbeciles?
-You got it. Please calm yourself.
529
00:37:29,750 --> 00:37:31,740
-Tell this to Hymie!
-Okay, have a nice day.
530
00:38:17,870 --> 00:38:22,830
J.J., is that legal? Both of them?
At the same time?
531
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:29,910
J.J., you're bad.
Hi Jill, Hi Marcie!
532
00:38:30,330 --> 00:38:32,490
Cute car!
533
00:38:33,330 --> 00:38:36,870
Imagine the stories J.J.'s
making up about last night.
534
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:41,410
-He's driving poor Victor crazy.
-Yeah. Poor victor's buying every word of it.
535
00:38:41,790 --> 00:38:44,580
-Well, what he doesn't know ain't gonna hurt us.
-Never has.
536
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:47,790
-Let's check out our competition.
-Alright.
537
00:38:49,750 --> 00:38:52,660
Well, you look great. You really do.
You look real sexy!
538
00:38:52,830 --> 00:38:54,290
Sexy?
539
00:38:56,370 --> 00:38:58,500
-You look...
-And I look like a turd.
540
00:38:58,580 --> 00:39:01,040
-No, you don't.
-J.J., what am I supposed to be?
541
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,540
You're a career army man.
542
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,490
Forty years in the army,
the backbone of the army!
543
00:39:07,620 --> 00:39:09,580
-Alright! Man.
-Alright.
544
00:39:10,250 --> 00:39:12,590
-Wish I had a medal.
-You want a medal?
545
00:39:12,670 --> 00:39:13,990
Well, I'd like to have a medal.
546
00:39:14,750 --> 00:39:16,400
-Take one.
-Oh, no.
547
00:39:16,490 --> 00:39:17,790
-Take one, you're my friend.
-I couldn't take
548
00:39:17,870 --> 00:39:21,120
-one of your medals. I couldn't do it.
-Take anyone you like. I love you.
549
00:39:21,250 --> 00:39:22,870
Okay.
550
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,660
-This is a nice one right here. Thanks.
-That one.
551
00:39:25,790 --> 00:39:27,910
Oh, this is really swell.
552
00:39:28,750 --> 00:39:31,740
The Congressional Medal of Honor.
Thank you very much!
553
00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:34,490
That's really nice.
554
00:39:34,790 --> 00:39:39,990
Oh boy... Oh, and it's so shiny.
I'm real glad. I love it.
555
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:42,290
-Oh, look, J.J.
-Ah.
556
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:43,620
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
557
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:47,540
General? Are you a General?
General J.J. McClure.
558
00:39:47,790 --> 00:39:49,020
Oh, you're a private.
559
00:39:49,100 --> 00:39:50,790
-National Guard.
-Listen...
560
00:39:50,910 --> 00:39:53,870
The Lord asks a favor
and we ask a favor of you.
561
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:58,290
We have an emergency in New York
and it's very important that we get there.
562
00:39:58,660 --> 00:40:02,290
-And we've lost our means of transportation.
-And our vows of poverty
563
00:40:02,370 --> 00:40:06,410
prevent us from traveling commercially.
Could we go along with you?
564
00:40:06,830 --> 00:40:09,540
We only have 48 hours to get there,
you see. Otherwise...
565
00:40:10,250 --> 00:40:12,790
the lepers might cause a panic.
566
00:40:13,250 --> 00:40:17,290
-The lepers?
-Yes. We treated lepers on Molokai,
567
00:40:17,410 --> 00:40:20,540
and now several hundred of them
have made their way East to the Big Apple.
568
00:40:20,660 --> 00:40:22,990
-We'd like to continue treating them.
-Oh...
569
00:40:23,250 --> 00:40:25,660
-Oh, sure Sister, this is gonna be swell.
-Excuse me.
570
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,690
Excuse me. Just one minute.
571
00:40:27,780 --> 00:40:29,120
-What?
-Come here.
572
00:40:29,910 --> 00:40:32,490
-What?
-How could you tell 'em "The Big Apple"?!
573
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,830
-The lepers? Big Apple?
-Well, The Big Apple is New York, J.J.
574
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,540
-I know that.
-And I didn't even know they had lepers there.
575
00:40:39,660 --> 00:40:40,490
Listen to me.
576
00:40:40,580 --> 00:40:42,540
-We can't take nuns along. No!
-Oh please.
577
00:40:42,620 --> 00:40:45,410
What, if we're driving along
and I see a pretty girl hitchhiking?
578
00:40:45,540 --> 00:40:48,580
She wants to get in the car,
a little action? And we got nuns along?
579
00:40:48,660 --> 00:40:51,870
-I'm good, but I'm not that good.
-Listen, if we take these nuns
580
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,240
I bet that God will be our co-pilot.
581
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:55,660
Well...
582
00:41:00,370 --> 00:41:01,910
-Why not?
-Oh, J.J.
583
00:41:02,790 --> 00:41:06,240
-You can come along.
-Oh, bless you, my son.
584
00:41:06,370 --> 00:41:09,620
-Oh, J.J. You'll get your reward in heaven.
-I don't wanna wait that long.
585
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:14,490
-Snappy bags, huh? Ah. Good.
-It's purple for Lent.
586
00:41:15,290 --> 00:41:19,370
I should tell you something. When we're gonna
be in the car, it'll be kind of cramped.
587
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,810
-It'll be alright?
-Of course.
588
00:41:21,900 --> 00:41:23,040
It'll be alright.
589
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:28,240
My Milly took a vow of chastity.
She had headaches all the time.
590
00:41:30,500 --> 00:41:32,660
Well, well, well...
591
00:41:32,870 --> 00:41:37,490
Look who we have here.
General Patton... and General Admission.
592
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:44,290
Heckle and Jeckle dressed as cops.
Gotta arrest their minds for vagrancy.
593
00:41:44,750 --> 00:41:48,370
-Any problems, officers?
-Are you kidding, Ladies?
594
00:41:48,500 --> 00:41:52,540
I might as well tell you something. We tried
it at the last race, dressed like priests.
595
00:41:52,660 --> 00:41:55,740
We didn't win. It didn't help us
and it ain't gonna help you.
596
00:41:57,410 --> 00:42:00,870
Now, as a law enforcement officer
I exercise my rights
597
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:05,160
to take these two young ladies
and submit them to a very nice long
598
00:42:05,370 --> 00:42:06,900
and thorough body search.
599
00:42:06,980 --> 00:42:08,740
-VICTOR: Shame on you!
-Listen.
600
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:13,740
These are real nuns. This is not a
Halloween party. Have a little respect.
601
00:42:15,290 --> 00:42:17,790
I'm up to here with you.
602
00:42:35,330 --> 00:42:36,410
You're sick.
603
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,410
Gather around, look this way.
Fenderboom, Blake, J.J., victor...
604
00:42:41,580 --> 00:42:44,580
Fellow Cannonballers,
give me your attention.
605
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,580
Allah came to me one night and said:
606
00:42:47,660 --> 00:42:50,290
"Falafel, be a sport!"
607
00:42:50,620 --> 00:42:53,490
"Spread the wealth
before Khomeini gets it all."
608
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:58,740
Please, please...
The important thing to know is
609
00:42:59,330 --> 00:43:06,240
that I personally am donating
the purse of $1 million to the winner!
610
00:43:15,250 --> 00:43:20,370
Remember the golden rule:
He who has the gold makes the rules.
611
00:43:20,660 --> 00:43:22,790
I go first.
612
00:43:24,790 --> 00:43:28,410
-General, will this trip be dangerous?
-Oh, I don't think dangerous, Sister.
613
00:43:28,540 --> 00:43:33,050
-Maybe exciting, but...
-♪ Da da daaa ♪
614
00:43:33,620 --> 00:43:36,830
Hello everyone...
Good to see you again.
615
00:43:37,410 --> 00:43:41,830
J.J., I shall endeavor to get you the win.
Throw the little nuns in the car...
616
00:43:41,910 --> 00:43:44,790
-and let's be off!
-Does your friend have an identity problem?
617
00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:47,870
No problem and no time, Sister.
618
00:43:49,290 --> 00:43:52,490
General, you should be in the back.
Sister Betty, up front with me.
619
00:43:52,750 --> 00:43:54,410
Boy-nun, boy-nun.
620
00:43:56,410 --> 00:43:59,330
-Isn't he adorable?
-I heard that.
621
00:44:02,250 --> 00:44:03,990
The jury's still out on that.
622
00:44:04,410 --> 00:44:09,160
Here is to good luck.
May it all be mine!
623
00:44:18,620 --> 00:44:20,980
♪ See the lightning
cross the sky ♪
624
00:44:21,020 --> 00:44:22,810
♪ Makes me wonder
why can't I ♪
625
00:44:22,850 --> 00:44:26,580
♪ Move that fast
to get to where I’m going ♪
626
00:44:26,620 --> 00:44:28,750
♪ I just can't wait
to get to you ♪
627
00:44:28,780 --> 00:44:30,680
♪ 'Cause, girl, you know
just what we'll do ♪
628
00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:34,680
♪ So much love for you
it's overflowing ♪
629
00:44:34,720 --> 00:44:38,250
♪ I gave you a license
to drive me up the wall ♪
630
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:39,710
♪ I just can't
shake this spell ♪
631
00:44:39,750 --> 00:44:42,780
♪ That your love
keeps me under ♪
632
00:44:42,820 --> 00:44:44,910
♪ The way you weave
your magic ♪
633
00:44:44,950 --> 00:44:46,680
♪ Your brown eyes
say it all ♪
634
00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:48,680
♪ I look at you
and feel the thunder ♪
635
00:44:48,720 --> 00:44:53,320
♪ Ooh, it hits me
like a Cannonball ♪
636
00:44:54,620 --> 00:44:57,810
♪ Like a Cannonball ♪
637
00:44:57,850 --> 00:45:01,150
♪ Hits me like
a Cannonball ♪
638
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:06,710
♪ Like a Cannonball ♪
639
00:45:06,750 --> 00:45:08,580
♪ Hearts break at
the speed of sound ♪
640
00:45:08,620 --> 00:45:10,650
♪ That's why I’m
so glad I found ♪
641
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:14,280
♪ Someone who makes lovin'
feel so right ♪
642
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,080
♪ If there's a detour
up ahead ♪
643
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,910
♪ I'll take
another road instead ♪
644
00:45:18,950 --> 00:45:22,280
♪ Nothing's keeping me
from you tonight ♪
645
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:25,980
♪ I gave you a license
to drive me up the wall ♪
646
00:45:26,020 --> 00:45:28,180
♪ I look at you
and feel the thunder ♪
647
00:45:28,220 --> 00:45:33,150
♪ Ooh, it hits me
like a Cannonball ♪
648
00:45:33,980 --> 00:45:37,280
♪ Like a Cannonball ♪
649
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:40,780
♪ Hits me
like a Cannonball ♪
650
00:45:41,980 --> 00:45:45,950
♪ Like a Cannonball ♪
651
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,660
I don't understand this, Tony.
652
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:58,240
For the last time:
I hit the back of the Arab's car,
653
00:45:58,790 --> 00:46:02,240
push a button, presto.
These things clamp onto the bumper.
654
00:46:02,830 --> 00:46:06,660
Then I step on the brakes.
We stop, get out of the car,
655
00:46:06,790 --> 00:46:10,790
and snatch him...
Now do you understand?
656
00:46:13,370 --> 00:46:14,790
Yeah...
657
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:29,650
[HORN HONKS]
658
00:46:34,830 --> 00:46:38,740
-COMPUTER: Attention-- Smokey in pursuit.
-O-oh, trouble.
659
00:46:38,950 --> 00:46:41,610
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
660
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:45,740
-Well, do something high-tech.
-COMPUTER: Smokey... gaining.
661
00:46:48,500 --> 00:46:50,290
Afterburner... ready.
662
00:47:01,290 --> 00:47:04,120
Boy, that's what I call a high-tech!
663
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:15,910
-Here they come.
-Still seems complicated, Tony.
664
00:47:16,290 --> 00:47:20,660
It's a piece of cake. I just
speed up and I get to his back bumper.
665
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:22,990
Here we go. Get ready. Easing up.
666
00:47:23,370 --> 00:47:25,830
Now don't blow it. Just hit the button.
667
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:30,120
Easing up. Easing up. Now! Now!
668
00:47:30,910 --> 00:47:34,990
-You're not holding the wheel steady, Tony.
-Hey, you wanna drive?
669
00:47:35,750 --> 00:47:37,160
Hit it!
670
00:47:39,330 --> 00:47:43,240
-Nothing can separate us now. Nothing!
-Nothing!
671
00:47:51,370 --> 00:47:55,240
Maybe it only works
on American cars, eh Tony?
672
00:48:08,540 --> 00:48:10,580
Oh, how sweet.
673
00:48:27,330 --> 00:48:29,410
Can I help you, ma'am?
674
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:38,240
-Aren't we going above the speed limit?
-Yes, 110, Sister Betty.
675
00:48:41,250 --> 00:48:44,240
-Oh, this is exciting!
-Are you blessing my leg?
676
00:48:45,370 --> 00:48:46,580
Yeah.
677
00:48:49,790 --> 00:48:52,080
Keep blessing, sister!
678
00:48:56,370 --> 00:49:00,040
-We just passed this police car.
-That's alright. We pass 'em all the time.
679
00:49:00,500 --> 00:49:05,080
-Sarge, are we doin' 80?
-Yeah, we sure are!
680
00:49:05,250 --> 00:49:07,440
Did they just pass us
like we were standing still?
681
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:09,040
Let me tell you what to do, son.
682
00:49:09,410 --> 00:49:14,290
Buckle up. You're taking part in your
first high-speed pursuit and capture!
683
00:49:16,830 --> 00:49:19,160
It's following us.
The police car's following us.
684
00:49:19,240 --> 00:49:21,740
Probably recognized me.
685
00:49:24,780 --> 00:49:26,550
[CRIES]
686
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:32,040
-What?
-I mean, it's not my life style.
687
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:33,620
-I don't...
-No, you're fine.
688
00:49:36,290 --> 00:49:40,240
-You're shaking. I'll hold your hand.
-Oh, thank you, thank you.
689
00:49:40,410 --> 00:49:43,620
-Oh, they're so warm.
-J.J. is the warmest!
690
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:48,540
-Sister Betty, he has such warm skin!
-He has such warm skin?
691
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,120
You should feel the heater up here.
692
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:56,580
Noticed how I took that last curve?
High and wide, straight through the apex.
693
00:49:56,660 --> 00:49:59,490
Pick up about 15 mph more coming out.
694
00:50:17,910 --> 00:50:20,330
-What are you writin'?
-The accident report.
695
00:50:24,540 --> 00:50:25,540
Damn!
696
00:50:26,250 --> 00:50:29,910
-Tony, are you sure about this?
-Stop complaining!
697
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:34,330
-Statistics proof flying is safer than driving.
-Is that right?
698
00:50:38,290 --> 00:50:43,540
Sideward and rearward
maneuvering is accomplished by...
699
00:50:44,790 --> 00:50:48,240
oh, am I mad at you!
You told me you could fly this thing.
700
00:50:48,370 --> 00:50:51,490
We almost got killed
three times already!
701
00:50:54,410 --> 00:50:58,290
Will you shut up an read the instructions?!
Or we'll be killed for the last time!
702
00:50:58,410 --> 00:51:01,540
You're getting me crazy.
This thing can not fly by itself!
703
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,740
-We're leveling out!
-Alright, so we didn't crash.
704
00:51:22,830 --> 00:51:25,630
Now, explain to me about
the magnet on the helicopter.
705
00:51:25,720 --> 00:51:26,450
Why?
706
00:51:26,540 --> 00:51:30,990
-This scheme is too complicated for me.
-The alphabet is too complicated for you!
707
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:35,830
It's simple: this magnet is powerful enough
to pick a Brinks truck right off the street.
708
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,410
Oh, a Brinks truck, huh?
709
00:51:45,580 --> 00:51:49,830
-Here's your sandwich, Your Highness.
-You'd better not, Your Royalship.
710
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:53,410
That salami will kick the shit
out of your ulcer!
711
00:51:57,250 --> 00:52:01,290
-Wait, wait. There's the Rolls!
-Ha! Good.
712
00:52:05,410 --> 00:52:09,490
-This flyin' is a piece of cake!
-Now that we found 'em, what do we do?
713
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:13,990
Are you kidding? I just sneak up behind 'em.
They probably won't even know I'm there.
714
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:16,990
Then, at the right second:
zappo! We snatch 'em.
715
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,490
Oh! Smart!
716
00:52:19,660 --> 00:52:24,290
Why did I ever doubt you Tony?
I'm too dumb to question smart people.
717
00:52:24,660 --> 00:52:26,790
This is true.
718
00:52:27,250 --> 00:52:30,370
-Tony, don't you think you're too low?
-That's a negative.
719
00:52:31,290 --> 00:52:34,620
-It looks a little low, Tony.
-I can see it through the window, okay?
720
00:52:37,750 --> 00:52:40,290
A little bit to the left.
721
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:44,490
-A little more to the left.
-How did you get here? The Tooth Fairy?
722
00:52:44,620 --> 00:52:48,160
-I flew you here, shmuck!
-Now, down a little.
723
00:52:48,500 --> 00:52:49,860
Hit the button on the magnet!
724
00:52:50,380 --> 00:52:51,650
{\an8}[THUMP]
725
00:52:51,790 --> 00:52:54,990
I love being a gangster!
726
00:52:57,750 --> 00:53:02,490
We're on like glue. Nothing, nothing
could separate us now. Nothing!
727
00:53:04,750 --> 00:53:07,240
-Up, up and away!
-Up, up and away.
728
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,120
Listen!
729
00:53:11,250 --> 00:53:14,660
Up, up and awaaay...
730
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:21,240
-I don't know why it ain't workin'.
-Could be the fan belt.
731
00:53:22,830 --> 00:53:26,370
Maybe it don't work
on nothin' but Brinks trucks.
732
00:53:26,660 --> 00:53:32,240
Don't worry about it.
I'll have it all figured out in a second.
733
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,160
Tony, is your seat belt on?
734
00:53:43,380 --> 00:53:45,320
[CRASH]
735
00:54:01,660 --> 00:54:06,410
Hep. Eatin' time!
You feed him, and... I'll drive.
736
00:54:06,540 --> 00:54:09,370
No, no, no. It's your turn.
You feed him. Come on!
737
00:54:12,580 --> 00:54:14,290
Here you go. Oh...
738
00:54:15,870 --> 00:54:19,579
Son-of-a-bitch!
That son-of-a-bitch is crazy!
739
00:54:19,662 --> 00:54:21,410
He's got a mental case...
740
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:27,610
♪ Ohhhhh ♪
741
00:54:27,650 --> 00:54:29,250
♪ Oh, it's hard to be
a genius, of course ♪
742
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:31,050
♪ But keep that old horse ♪
743
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:33,080
♪ Before the cart ♪
744
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,110
♪ First you gotta
have heart... ♪
745
00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:39,990
-Corporal. You're driving well.
-Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
746
00:54:41,790 --> 00:54:45,620
Sister Betty? You know, I was raised
a Catholic and I'm really interested.
747
00:54:45,750 --> 00:54:49,240
Could you tell us more about
the Order of the Immaculate Charity?
748
00:54:49,620 --> 00:54:52,040
-Chastity.
-Chastity!
749
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:54,490
He always get those words mixed up.
750
00:54:55,620 --> 00:54:58,790
Well... I think it's time for us
to get some sleep.
751
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:01,430
-Oh sure. Good.
-So if you just excuse us,
752
00:55:01,510 --> 00:55:03,240
-we'd like to have a little privacy.
-Sure.
753
00:55:03,660 --> 00:55:05,780
Go ahead, there's... Just put that...
754
00:55:05,860 --> 00:55:07,540
-Good night.
-Good night.
755
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:17,990
Hey, am I crazy? Or are those
the friendliest nuns you've ever seen?
756
00:55:18,250 --> 00:55:21,040
-Isn't Sister Betty cute?
-Ahh. I'd...
757
00:55:22,330 --> 00:55:24,740
I'd like to jump her bones.
758
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:27,800
-J.J., bite your tongue!
-Can't help it. I'm sorry.
759
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:28,990
Aren't you ashamed?
760
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:30,810
-I would!
-Oh my goodness!
761
00:55:30,900 --> 00:55:32,490
Why would you say such a...
762
00:55:37,620 --> 00:55:39,620
-That's sacrilegious!
-These are human beings.
763
00:55:39,750 --> 00:55:41,580
And I'd be very interested
to know how you make out.
764
00:55:41,660 --> 00:55:42,990
Huh?
765
00:55:43,620 --> 00:55:46,120
'Cause I been thinking about
getting into Sister Betty's pants.
766
00:55:52,910 --> 00:55:55,080
Oh God, forgive me...
767
00:56:09,620 --> 00:56:12,660
Morning officer! Nice day, isn't it?
768
00:56:12,870 --> 00:56:14,760
Get out of the road, fat boy,
before you get run over.
769
00:56:14,850 --> 00:56:16,080
-Come on.
-Okay.
770
00:56:20,580 --> 00:56:22,910
-Good morning!
-Goddamn! A General!
771
00:56:24,580 --> 00:56:28,790
-Now, what seems to be the problem, officer?
-We have speed limits in this here state.
772
00:56:29,410 --> 00:56:32,330
-Even in a nuclear emergency?
-What emergency?
773
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:34,560
We can't talk about it, officer.
774
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:36,740
-Let me see your driver's license.
-No!
775
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,830
I have radioactive breath.
776
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:44,620
-What are you boys trying to pull?
-There has been a nuclear meltdown.
777
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,740
We're taking some contaminated
material to Connecticut.
778
00:56:47,830 --> 00:56:50,490
Why Connecticut?
779
00:56:51,540 --> 00:56:53,330
They ran out.
780
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:55,830
Bullshit!
781
00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:59,990
-Hey, uncle Hinky!
-Homer! My nephew.
782
00:57:00,290 --> 00:57:02,380
-We'll wait for you, Homer.
-Thanks, Sir.
783
00:57:02,460 --> 00:57:03,490
How you're doin', Homer?
784
00:57:03,580 --> 00:57:06,240
-Goddamn, I didn't know you was coming home!
-Private!
785
00:57:08,580 --> 00:57:10,540
Yes sir, General!
786
00:57:10,750 --> 00:57:14,290
-What are you doing here, son?
-Well, I had a 3-day pass to come home.
787
00:57:14,370 --> 00:57:16,020
It's the first one I had in two years.
788
00:57:16,100 --> 00:57:19,560
I'm gonna commandeer you
to drive this car to Connecticut.
789
00:57:19,650 --> 00:57:21,240
-Get in the car, son.
-Yes, Sir!
790
00:57:21,330 --> 00:57:24,910
Hold it! Ain't nobody goin' no
place till I phoned this here in!
791
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:29,580
Uncle Hinky, I gotta do what he says. He got
more medals than all at the base together.
792
00:57:29,750 --> 00:57:32,370
It don't make no difference.
I phone it in anyway.
793
00:57:34,500 --> 00:57:37,330
-Good morning, officer.
-Sweet Jesus!
794
00:57:37,660 --> 00:57:40,040
-General, why are we stopping?
-I'm sorry, Sister.
795
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:42,990
I was just explaining to the sheriff
the purpose of my mission.
796
00:57:43,620 --> 00:57:47,120
-You carry nuns with you?
-In case we don't...
797
00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,740
-make it, you know?
-Oh, really?
798
00:57:50,290 --> 00:57:53,580
There's a higher purpose involved, officer.
Only the Lord knows what it is.
799
00:57:54,330 --> 00:57:57,740
The safety of our nation depends
on the speed of our mission.
800
00:57:58,580 --> 00:58:00,740
Wow! Praise the Lord!
801
00:58:00,830 --> 00:58:05,370
Well, in that case I'll give you a police
escort all the way to the county line.
802
00:58:05,500 --> 00:58:07,120
-Bless you.
-Sheriff...
803
00:58:07,250 --> 00:58:10,120
I just want you to know something:
America needs your help!
804
00:58:10,250 --> 00:58:13,990
There are two communists disguised as
policemen chasing us in a red Corvette.
805
00:58:14,410 --> 00:58:16,870
-Commies!
-No shit?
806
00:58:17,620 --> 00:58:19,620
No shit.
807
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:24,580
Now, don't go arguing with me!
I've got it straight from the General!
808
00:58:24,750 --> 00:58:28,740
There are two communists dressed up
as policemen in a red Corvette...
809
00:58:28,830 --> 00:58:31,830
trying to steal our nuclear shit!
Shoot 'em!
810
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,290
The fate of the country
depends on it, do you hear me?
811
00:58:37,660 --> 00:58:40,990
[OVER RADIO] Headquarters, this is units 2
and 5 eastbound on Highway 10.
812
00:58:41,250 --> 00:58:43,910
-We got those commies in our sights.
-Commies?
813
00:58:44,750 --> 00:58:47,910
Now, I been called a lot of things but
I ain't never been called no commie.
814
00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:50,200
I ain't even a Democrat.
815
00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:54,490
[OVER RADIO] But you can inform
the General they're as good as caught.
816
00:58:56,660 --> 00:58:58,580
The General... General!?
817
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:03,990
J.J! That son-of-a-bitch!
818
00:59:13,870 --> 00:59:17,040
Good, Blake. But not good enough!
819
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:20,910
[OVER RADIO] This is 2 and 5 again.
We're now westbound on Highway 10.
820
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:24,410
[OVER RADIO] This is the Captain.
I want those two foreigners brought in.
821
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:27,830
-Dead or alive.
-Don't you worry about it.
822
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:28,850
You know what I'm gonna do?
823
00:59:28,930 --> 00:59:31,160
-What?
-I'm gonna turn this car around
824
00:59:31,250 --> 00:59:35,040
and I am gonna block
the whole highway sideways.
825
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:38,740
And when they come
they have a choice: either to ditch it
826
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,740
or ram right straight into us!
827
00:59:42,410 --> 00:59:46,490
-Just ditch it or... ram straight into us?
-Yeah!
828
01:00:03,750 --> 01:00:07,490
Get outta here with these bananas!
I don't want the bananas!
829
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:12,490
This is humiliating as hell...
er... sittin' up here!
830
01:00:12,620 --> 01:00:18,080
Well, it's no picnic being back here!
Wacked-out monkey!
831
01:00:18,350 --> 01:00:19,710
[CRASH]
832
01:00:20,750 --> 01:00:23,040
Stop it! Well, keep your
hands off me, monkey!
833
01:00:32,660 --> 01:00:33,913
What are you doing up here?
834
01:00:33,996 --> 01:00:36,080
-Man, it's safer.
-[CRASH]
835
01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:39,160
-Well, who's drivin'?
-He is.
836
01:00:51,290 --> 01:00:55,990
Would you boys like to stay for dinner?
I just made noodle soup.
837
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:08,120
Note, Blake. General Patton's car.
838
01:01:08,500 --> 01:01:10,910
Is the blimp driving?
839
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,830
No. It's the General.
840
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:16,240
The General, huh? Ha!
841
01:01:16,330 --> 01:01:20,040
Oh, I'm gonna make a private out of him!
842
01:01:27,830 --> 01:01:31,990
It's money in the bank.
A million bucks!
843
01:01:36,870 --> 01:01:40,830
Oh, come on! It'll be
a weekend you'll never forget.
844
01:01:41,250 --> 01:01:43,870
-All three of us?
-Yep.
845
01:01:44,790 --> 01:01:48,540
It's gonna be a weekend you can tell
your kids about... if they're all boys.
846
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:53,490
Look, you guys thrashed this gull-wing out.
I didn't even pay for that one yet.
847
01:01:53,620 --> 01:01:57,490
Listen, baby. We're gonna be as gentle
with that car as we're gonna be with you.
848
01:01:57,750 --> 01:02:00,330
Real sound. Come on, what you say?
849
01:02:04,410 --> 01:02:06,240
-Okay. Okay.
-Alright.
850
01:02:06,410 --> 01:02:10,990
The keys are in the car, but hurry back.
My friends aren't gonna believe this!
851
01:02:11,410 --> 01:02:13,870
-Know what? You just bring them too.
-Really?
852
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:16,160
Sure. And don't forget your camera.
853
01:02:16,580 --> 01:02:18,410
Really?
854
01:02:23,750 --> 01:02:27,740
-You got a full tank of gas in here?
-Please, be careful with it. Please!
855
01:02:29,370 --> 01:02:31,240
(I'll be real gentle)
856
01:03:01,790 --> 01:03:04,290
What do you want, Ching-Chong man?
857
01:03:11,850 --> 01:03:13,580
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
858
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:17,490
Help? Gee, there's only a dozen of 'em.
By the way, can you split that for me?
859
01:03:20,750 --> 01:03:22,240
Thank you.
860
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:42,790
I'll be there in a minute!
861
01:03:54,020 --> 01:03:56,580
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
862
01:04:06,370 --> 01:04:11,240
That was wonderful. You're great. Can you
stay for dinner and meet my parents?
863
01:04:13,500 --> 01:04:16,120
That was so great! What's your name?
864
01:04:17,250 --> 01:04:20,240
Hey, we got a race to finish.
A million bucks!
865
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:22,250
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
866
01:04:22,750 --> 01:04:24,540
He can stay for dinner, too!
867
01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:31,200
Dammit! The race is gonna be over,
if they don't get their buns out here soon.
868
01:04:35,250 --> 01:04:38,160
Golly! They changed their clothes.
869
01:04:40,750 --> 01:04:44,080
-You think we've gone too far?
-Probably.
870
01:04:46,620 --> 01:04:48,990
Let's go for it.
871
01:04:49,250 --> 01:04:52,790
You know, General? I bet this mission
is so secret you had 'em do this
872
01:04:52,910 --> 01:04:55,330
so Russian spies wouldn't recognize 'em.
873
01:05:03,040 --> 01:05:05,490
We got a six-pack and some
chilli-dogs for the trip.
874
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:10,240
I got one for you and one for... "him".
875
01:05:22,620 --> 01:05:25,290
You've adapted to
civilian life very well.
876
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:33,490
Oh my God! Private...
Walk this way.
877
01:05:36,330 --> 01:05:38,290
Nuns, huh?
878
01:05:41,250 --> 01:05:44,990
-Get in the car.
-Yes, General.
879
01:06:05,410 --> 01:06:09,370
Put that away!
You ain't gonna use it!
880
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,330
To your right, Highness.
To your right.
881
01:06:19,620 --> 01:06:23,290
As soon as this cable rips up the Rolls...
882
01:06:23,870 --> 01:06:26,660
-you grab the money...
-I grab the money?
883
01:06:26,790 --> 01:06:29,370
And I grab the sheik
or what's left of 'em...
884
01:06:29,660 --> 01:06:31,910
-and we head back to Vegas.
-Vegas?!
885
01:06:32,180 --> 01:06:34,037
[CAR PHONE CHIMES]
886
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:37,080
Prince Falafel! Buy what?
887
01:06:38,830 --> 01:06:41,080
Nimitz? What's a Nimitz?
888
01:06:42,660 --> 01:06:45,240
The U.S.S. Nimitz, ah!
889
01:06:45,330 --> 01:06:48,990
I want to buy it!
I want to land my 747s on it!
890
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:53,160
I don't care what it costs. How much?
891
01:06:53,410 --> 01:06:56,910
-Feelin' better now, aren't you?
-I can't hear you! Talk louder!
892
01:06:57,040 --> 01:07:00,620
-I said, you're feeling better now, aren't you?!
-Yes, a thousand thanks!
893
01:07:00,750 --> 01:07:03,330
-No problem! Buy!
-Bye.
894
01:07:14,660 --> 01:07:17,040
-Tighten it up, they're coming! Tighter!
-I tighten it!
895
01:07:17,790 --> 01:07:20,490
Come. Hurry. Here it comes!
896
01:07:37,160 --> 01:07:40,290
-Well yeah, you get what you pay for.
-Oh, dammit!
897
01:07:40,750 --> 01:07:43,330
-What now?
-I don't know!
898
01:07:45,250 --> 01:07:48,330
-Well, get out and start smiling.
-Yeah, right.
899
01:08:03,620 --> 01:08:05,990
Don't blame me! I didn't do nothin'!
900
01:08:07,120 --> 01:08:08,990
Me neither. I'm just followin' orders.
901
01:08:22,750 --> 01:08:26,990
We were turning about 8 grand when
the gages lit up like a pinball machine.
902
01:08:27,410 --> 01:08:30,290
Yeah, so we propped the hood
and there's oil leaking.
903
01:08:31,540 --> 01:08:33,490
-Right here.
-Mm-hmm.
904
01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:36,490
-Does it look bad?
-Not from where I'm standing.
905
01:08:36,790 --> 01:08:41,410
-Oh, can you fix it then?
-Honey, I got a tool that'll fix anything!
906
01:08:43,500 --> 01:08:45,240
Oh, yeah?
907
01:08:59,080 --> 01:09:00,630
-Hey, sugar?
-Yeah?
908
01:09:00,710 --> 01:09:02,120
What have you got under the hood?
909
01:09:02,580 --> 01:09:05,990
Alright. That's a 454, four on the floor.
910
01:09:06,660 --> 01:09:08,790
-Full house, with a blower.
-Yeah?
911
01:09:08,870 --> 01:09:10,370
She's a sweetheart, isn't she?
912
01:09:14,040 --> 01:09:16,490
It sure is hot out here, ain't it?
913
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:19,990
Yeah, it really is.
914
01:09:24,080 --> 01:09:27,740
Why don't you relax, sugar?
Everything's gonna be just fine!
915
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:31,040
I don't think my boss
wanted this to do 120 mph.
916
01:09:31,790 --> 01:09:34,360
-Well, it's doin' it!
-Come on, listen.
917
01:09:34,440 --> 01:09:36,330
Why don't you just take me back and...
918
01:09:36,500 --> 01:09:39,740
My... Just take me back to my boss...
Oh jeez, am I gonna get it!
919
01:09:46,250 --> 01:09:49,620
What the heck! It's only a job.
Let's go!
920
01:09:50,660 --> 01:09:53,240
And it's gonna be a weekend
you'll never forget.
921
01:09:59,280 --> 01:10:01,280
[SIREN]
922
01:10:02,120 --> 01:10:06,290
COMPUTER: Attention... Smokie in pursuit.
Attention... Smokie in...
923
01:10:06,370 --> 01:10:08,370
Battle stations!
924
01:10:09,830 --> 01:10:12,490
-Afterburner.
-Roger!
925
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:17,410
Afterburner ready... 3, 2, 1...
926
01:10:17,500 --> 01:10:19,370
Ignition!
927
01:10:29,750 --> 01:10:32,490
-Turn it off! Turn it off!
-Huh? Hah?
928
01:10:34,250 --> 01:10:37,120
Prepare to crash dive!
929
01:10:52,830 --> 01:10:54,050
We just lost it.
930
01:10:54,485 --> 01:10:59,020
[SONAR PINGING]
931
01:11:12,620 --> 01:11:15,240
-Look, beer cans!
-Underwear?
932
01:11:15,500 --> 01:11:18,620
-Now let's give 'em the oil slick.
-Yes, man.
933
01:11:23,620 --> 01:11:26,740
Oil slick... Sorry, fellas.
934
01:11:27,370 --> 01:11:30,660
-We're just doin' our job.
-Yes, sorry.
935
01:11:32,040 --> 01:11:34,330
Attention... enemy astern.
936
01:11:34,660 --> 01:11:37,990
-Let's see what's happening. Up the scope.
-Okay.
937
01:11:51,980 --> 01:11:53,950
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
938
01:11:55,080 --> 01:11:58,580
-Quiet, please.
-Stand by for depth charge attack.
939
01:12:08,370 --> 01:12:12,290
-Come on. Catch one. Pay attention!
-We've been coming here for five years!
940
01:12:12,410 --> 01:12:13,800
-Five years!
-Without a fish.
941
01:12:13,890 --> 01:12:16,240
-A big one's out there for you, boys.
-You're sure?
942
01:12:16,290 --> 01:12:20,620
Darn right! I saw him jump the other day.
I took a picture, while it was in the air.
943
01:12:21,250 --> 01:12:23,620
Picture weighed 13 and a half pounds!
944
01:12:24,660 --> 01:12:26,990
I really don't like this guy!
945
01:12:33,850 --> 01:12:35,180
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
946
01:12:35,500 --> 01:12:37,660
Forward all engines.
947
01:12:55,870 --> 01:12:58,490
Come on, just pay attention
to what you're doing.
948
01:13:04,910 --> 01:13:07,160
All ahead full.
949
01:13:11,250 --> 01:13:12,990
-Let him go!
-No!
950
01:13:13,250 --> 01:13:16,370
We've caught ourselves a Moby Dick!
951
01:13:17,250 --> 01:13:19,410
God damn, we're going with him!
952
01:13:26,870 --> 01:13:31,490
-And you haven't seen your family in 2 years?
-No, but I'm not complaining. Duty calls.
953
01:13:32,500 --> 01:13:34,060
-General?
-What?
954
01:13:34,150 --> 01:13:35,990
How long do you think the national emergency
955
01:13:36,080 --> 01:13:39,040
will require the services
of Pvt. Lyle here, Sir?
956
01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:42,740
-I don't know.
-He hasn't seen his family in 2 years.
957
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:46,860
J.J., that is not nice. Truly isn't.
958
01:13:46,940 --> 01:13:49,290
A General's work is never done.
959
01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:51,600
-Private.
-Yes, Sir.
960
01:13:51,690 --> 01:13:53,990
I've checked the Geiger counter
961
01:13:54,660 --> 01:13:59,740
and the radioactivity seems to be dropping. I
don't think we need your services anymore.
962
01:14:00,250 --> 01:14:02,740
-Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
-Pull over.
963
01:14:24,660 --> 01:14:28,080
Pvt. Lyle, you've rendered
a great service to this country.
964
01:14:28,540 --> 01:14:32,160
You make me proud to be in the same
army with a man with your character.
965
01:14:33,750 --> 01:14:36,740
I'd like to present you with the
Congressional Medal of Honor.
966
01:14:38,870 --> 01:14:43,160
-This Congressional Medal of Honor?
-That Congressional Medal of Honor.
967
01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:55,410
-That's French.
-I know.
968
01:14:56,290 --> 01:14:59,540
General, for the last 20 years
while I was working in the motor pool
969
01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:02,910
I always knew the Good Lord's gonna give
me a chance to come on a special mission
970
01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:05,790
like this, to serve my country.
971
01:15:18,870 --> 01:15:20,910
Bye, Lyle.
972
01:15:25,150 --> 01:15:26,850
♪ Cannonball ♪
973
01:15:26,880 --> 01:15:28,210
♪ Cannonball ♪
974
01:15:28,250 --> 01:15:30,710
♪ Whoooooooo ♪
975
01:15:30,750 --> 01:15:32,280
♪ Cannonball ♪
976
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:34,110
♪ Cannonball ♪
977
01:15:34,150 --> 01:15:36,250
♪ Cannonball ♪
978
01:15:37,850 --> 01:15:39,780
♪ Cannonball ♪
979
01:15:41,080 --> 01:15:44,040
-And that's all you have to do, honey.
-Boy, am I sick!
980
01:15:44,250 --> 01:15:48,490
-I ain't never gonna fly with you again!
-Will you shut up and read the instructs
981
01:15:48,540 --> 01:15:51,410
and tell me what it says
about landing this thing?
982
01:15:53,750 --> 01:15:56,990
-It says: lower the flaps.
-Okay, then do it, quickly!
983
01:15:57,120 --> 01:16:00,040
-Where are they?
-Under "F", you idiot!
984
01:16:00,250 --> 01:16:03,240
Well, let's see. There's a "T"
for tabs. Is that any good?
985
01:16:03,290 --> 01:16:05,170
-Fantastic! Pull it!
-Pull what?
986
01:16:05,260 --> 01:16:07,990
-Anything, dummy!
-Okay, Tony!
987
01:16:26,850 --> 01:16:28,780
♪ To look sharp ♪
988
01:16:28,820 --> 01:16:30,210
♪ Da da da da ♪
989
01:16:30,250 --> 01:16:31,780
♪ To feel sharp ♪
990
01:16:31,820 --> 01:16:32,780
♪ Da da da da ♪
991
01:16:33,410 --> 01:16:35,830
I like this song so much,
I bought the company.
992
01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:43,330
I don't know why everybody makes such a big
deal about flying. It's a piece of cake.
993
01:16:43,660 --> 01:16:48,120
This better work, Tony. I just called
Don Don, and he's really mad.
994
01:16:49,160 --> 01:16:51,370
Caesar, Caesar...
995
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:56,370
Simplicity is the hallmark of genius.
This cannot miss.
996
01:16:57,000 --> 01:16:58,490
Yeah?
997
01:16:59,370 --> 01:17:01,990
Relax, alright?
998
01:17:06,370 --> 01:17:09,490
Damn ulcer's killing me.
You got anything for it?
999
01:17:10,660 --> 01:17:13,790
Charlotte Russe. How delightful.
1000
01:17:15,540 --> 01:17:20,080
Not exactly the Maxim's,
but my compliments to the chef.
1001
01:17:34,500 --> 01:17:36,540
A thousand pardons!
1002
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:43,040
I couldn't help noticing.
Obviously you are a damsel in distress.
1003
01:17:44,080 --> 01:17:49,540
May I be of service to you?
I am the great Prince Abdul-Ben Falafel,
1004
01:17:49,830 --> 01:17:53,410
master of all deserts,
Prince of princes,
1005
01:17:54,250 --> 01:17:57,240
-and one of the world's biggest...
-Yoyos.
1006
01:17:57,500 --> 01:18:00,160
How dare you put a gun to my head!
1007
01:18:03,160 --> 01:18:06,580
As I was saying,
do you come here often?
1008
01:18:11,910 --> 01:18:15,410
I wish you guys would have seen us change
in the bathroom, making this decision.
1009
01:18:15,500 --> 01:18:19,990
Know, what she wanted to do? To put the
nun's habit on and the shorts underneath.
1010
01:18:20,750 --> 01:18:23,330
-And she thought you wouldn't notice.
-I will notice.
1011
01:18:23,580 --> 01:18:27,740
Well, I just didn't want you to be upset
when you found out I wasn't a nun.
1012
01:18:29,330 --> 01:18:31,990
You're not?
1013
01:18:33,750 --> 01:18:38,330
-I'm not even a Catholic.
-Well, nobody's perfect.
1014
01:18:40,540 --> 01:18:43,740
-May I?
-Oh, I been waitin' for this.
1015
01:18:56,750 --> 01:18:59,910
-Sure hate to give the chauffeur a ticket.
-Yeah, it's always the jerk in back
1016
01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:02,910
-giving the orders.
-Yeah.
1017
01:19:05,620 --> 01:19:07,370
Pardon me, Sir, we're...
1018
01:19:15,830 --> 01:19:19,240
-You know what that is, back there?
-Damn right! It's a chimp!
1019
01:19:19,870 --> 01:19:23,740
Listen to me. See that dark glass?
Don't look!
1020
01:19:24,250 --> 01:19:26,910
You know who's behind
that glass filming us?
1021
01:19:27,120 --> 01:19:29,740
Allen Funt.
We're on Candid Camera!
1022
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,240
Come on, it's our chance! Come on!
1023
01:19:33,540 --> 01:19:36,370
Stand right here so they
can see you. Stand right here.
1024
01:19:37,750 --> 01:19:39,990
Pardon me, Sir.
I'd like to see your license...
1025
01:19:45,580 --> 01:19:49,160
Oh God, I wonder what the
penalty is for assaulting a police officer.
1026
01:19:49,870 --> 01:19:52,620
He's not gonna make a monkey out of me!
1027
01:19:53,660 --> 01:19:55,580
You're okay? Don't make him mad!
1028
01:20:01,580 --> 01:20:05,740
I'm gonna say hello to my mom. I just
wondered if I could say hello to my mother?
1029
01:20:11,040 --> 01:20:14,330
This is working great. Let's go sing.
Come on, before they go.
1030
01:20:14,980 --> 01:20:17,110
♪ By the light ♪
1031
01:20:17,150 --> 01:20:20,920
♪ Of the silvery moon ♪
1032
01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:24,330
Let's get the hell outta here!
1033
01:20:26,080 --> 01:20:27,270
Hey, Mr. Funt!
1034
01:20:27,350 --> 01:20:30,490
-Aren't we supposed to sign a release?
-Oh, shut up!
1035
01:20:35,790 --> 01:20:39,410
Oh, listen! Look! Hold it!
Look, Cannonballers ahead of us!
1036
01:20:49,080 --> 01:20:51,240
Alright, what the hell happened?
1037
01:20:51,500 --> 01:20:56,740
Hm, Sir. I was eating my dessert when
suddenly I saw one of the cat people.
1038
01:20:57,120 --> 01:20:59,620
-Beautiful body was...
-Now, we have a slight problem.
1039
01:21:00,120 --> 01:21:03,370
Two hoods. They parted
with the Sheik and the money.
1040
01:21:03,450 --> 01:21:04,400
How that happen?
1041
01:21:04,480 --> 01:21:07,120
She was hitchhiking in a leopard
coat and as we approached
1042
01:21:07,290 --> 01:21:12,020
-she flashed and we stopped.
-[SPEAKING CHINESE]
1043
01:21:15,910 --> 01:21:19,160
He's right. Who else knew
the million was in the sheik's trunk?
1044
01:21:29,250 --> 01:21:31,980
I think you two guys have
got something to tell us.
1045
01:21:32,060 --> 01:21:33,740
-Right?
-Right.
1046
01:21:36,500 --> 01:21:39,240
J.J, let me explain to you
as briefly as I can.
1047
01:21:39,660 --> 01:21:44,540
Here's what happened. We owed the guys in
Vegas a little chump change. Nothing really.
1048
01:21:44,790 --> 01:21:47,740
So they sent down some
torpedoes to collect.
1049
01:21:49,620 --> 01:21:53,660
-And you told 'em about the Sheik.
-It was tell 'em or else.
1050
01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:58,120
-Who were these guys?
-The Cannelloni family from Las Vegas.
1051
01:21:58,250 --> 01:22:02,040
-Well, hell. Let's just go get these guys.
-We can't just go get these guys!
1052
01:22:02,160 --> 01:22:04,150
-Why?
-They hold up at the Pinto Ranch.
1053
01:22:04,230 --> 01:22:06,740
And that's guarded like Fort Knox.
1054
01:22:06,790 --> 01:22:09,370
Wait a minute.
Maybe "him" can get through.
1055
01:22:09,580 --> 01:22:14,080
Maybe "him" can get "himself"
killed and take you with "him".
1056
01:22:14,790 --> 01:22:18,410
-"Him" is open for other suggestions.
-What's happening? What's going on here?
1057
01:22:18,830 --> 01:22:24,660
Gaped at her naked body glistening in the
hot sun and her sweet sweat rolling down...
1058
01:22:25,290 --> 01:22:28,830
Hey, wait a minute.
We'll go to the King.
1059
01:22:29,290 --> 01:22:31,660
No, no. The sheik's father hates him.
1060
01:22:32,080 --> 01:22:35,990
Hey, he's not the only king.
We have royalty in this country, too.
1061
01:22:36,870 --> 01:22:39,120
He'll see you guys.
1062
01:22:52,250 --> 01:22:54,410
Sit on this.
1063
01:22:56,330 --> 01:22:58,100
How did you enjoy the Halloween party?
1064
01:22:58,190 --> 01:23:00,990
-What a guy he is.
-What a guy!
1065
01:23:02,250 --> 01:23:07,120
-Alright. How much this time?
-Frank, you know. It's never for ourselves.
1066
01:23:09,500 --> 01:23:13,080
-Not this time, Frank.
-And who asked you to sit down? Get up!
1067
01:23:16,580 --> 01:23:18,830
-Mr. Sinatra...
-You may call me Frank.
1068
01:23:19,540 --> 01:23:22,240
-I can call him Frank.
-Not yet.
1069
01:23:22,410 --> 01:23:25,870
I'll let you know when you can.
Not exactly now, but I'll let you know.
1070
01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:28,410
-What can I call you?
-Call me sir.
1071
01:23:29,370 --> 01:23:35,040
-Call him Sir.
-I got it. Sir... We are Cannonballers.
1072
01:23:35,660 --> 01:23:37,830
-What?
-Cannonballers.
1073
01:23:39,370 --> 01:23:41,330
Oh, wait a minute...
1074
01:23:41,750 --> 01:23:44,240
I've been lonely as much as you have,
from time to time.
1075
01:23:44,870 --> 01:23:49,240
-Come on.
-That's a hot one, Your Majesty. Sir.
1076
01:23:50,080 --> 01:23:53,290
You see, the Cannonball is a race
from California to Connecticut.
1077
01:23:53,370 --> 01:23:55,650
We have lots of fun.
But the Sheik...
1078
01:23:55,730 --> 01:23:56,990
-Sheik?
-Yes.
1079
01:23:57,250 --> 01:23:59,060
-With the blue Rolls Royce.
-Who is he?
1080
01:23:59,140 --> 01:24:00,690
Did I ever sing for him
in London, you think?
1081
01:24:00,830 --> 01:24:03,490
We can't even pronounce his name.
You see, they kidnapped him
1082
01:24:03,580 --> 01:24:07,040
and they took $1 million out of the trunk
of his car. That's why we came to you.
1083
01:24:07,790 --> 01:24:12,160
-Why come to me? Why don't you go to the FBI?
-Who taught the FBI?
1084
01:24:15,580 --> 01:24:18,080
Okay, alright. Who snatched him?
1085
01:24:18,410 --> 01:24:20,620
Oh, the Cannellonis.
1086
01:24:23,080 --> 01:24:24,990
I got an idea.
1087
01:24:25,120 --> 01:24:29,120
I got a trio that I use in my act and this
bum's been trying to steal it for months.
1088
01:24:32,410 --> 01:24:34,790
Dorothy, get me Don Don.
1089
01:24:38,080 --> 01:24:41,580
They must be terrific for Frank
to recommend them personally.
1090
01:24:41,750 --> 01:24:45,660
I guarantee you have never seen
anything like this in your whole...
1091
01:24:45,790 --> 01:24:48,410
I'm not saying this,
just because I'm their agent.
1092
01:24:48,750 --> 01:24:53,120
You know, I just love auditioning
new talent. I get all excited.
1093
01:24:53,950 --> 01:24:55,010
♪ Stop ♪
1094
01:24:55,050 --> 01:24:57,980
♪ In the name of love ♪
1095
01:24:58,020 --> 01:25:03,220
♪ Before you break
my heart ♪
1096
01:25:10,650 --> 01:25:13,210
♪ Baby, baby,
I’m aware ♪
1097
01:25:13,250 --> 01:25:14,350
♪ Of where you go ♪
1098
01:25:14,380 --> 01:25:18,080
♪ Each time
you leave my door ♪
1099
01:25:18,120 --> 01:25:22,350
♪ I watch you
walk down the street ♪
1100
01:25:22,380 --> 01:25:25,910
♪ Knowing your other
love you meet ♪
1101
01:25:25,950 --> 01:25:27,680
♪ But this time... ♪
1102
01:25:28,080 --> 01:25:31,870
-Come on, what's the matter?
-They are a little short on looks.
1103
01:25:32,080 --> 01:25:35,660
But didn't you notice the nice
unison? The way they dance?
1104
01:25:38,720 --> 01:25:42,580
♪ Think it over ♪
1105
01:25:43,150 --> 01:25:44,750
♪ I've known of your ♪
1106
01:25:44,780 --> 01:25:47,080
♪ Your secluded nights ♪
1107
01:25:47,120 --> 01:25:49,110
♪ I've even seen her ♪
1108
01:25:49,150 --> 01:25:50,750
♪ Maybe once or twice ♪
1109
01:25:51,550 --> 01:25:53,620
-♪ But is her sweet expression ♪
-They're fabulous.
1110
01:25:55,120 --> 01:25:59,850
♪ Worth more than
my loving affection? ♪
1111
01:25:59,880 --> 01:26:00,880
♪ But this time ♪
1112
01:26:00,920 --> 01:26:03,810
♪ Before you
leave my arms ♪
1113
01:26:03,850 --> 01:26:07,050
♪ And rush off
to her charms ♪
1114
01:26:07,080 --> 01:26:08,050
♪ Think it over ♪
1115
01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:11,580
♪ Haven't I been
good to you? ♪
1116
01:26:11,620 --> 01:26:12,650
♪ Think it over ♪
1117
01:26:12,680 --> 01:26:16,350
♪ Haven't I been
sweet to you? ♪
1118
01:26:16,380 --> 01:26:18,750
♪ Stop ♪
1119
01:26:23,290 --> 01:26:26,910
Frank ain't no dummy.
I can't sing...
1120
01:26:27,040 --> 01:26:30,740
but even I can follow that act.
1121
01:26:35,000 --> 01:26:36,660
[FALSETTO] Thank you.
1122
01:26:45,250 --> 01:26:47,660
Girls, you're hired!
You're hired, girls! You're hired!
1123
01:26:48,120 --> 01:26:52,160
You all have life... lifetime
contracts here at the Pinto Ranch.
1124
01:26:52,500 --> 01:26:55,240
I'll just have to move
someplace else... Now, girls!
1125
01:26:55,620 --> 01:26:59,740
Lovely. Go to your dressing rooms
and powder your noses... a lot!
1126
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:03,410
Absolutely wonderful. Frank certainly
knows his stuff! Just wonderful.
1127
01:27:08,160 --> 01:27:10,490
Bad news.
1128
01:27:26,830 --> 01:27:30,380
Oh, girls. How do you spell Laverne?
Is that one word or two?
1129
01:27:30,470 --> 01:27:31,460
-Two.
-Three.
1130
01:27:32,160 --> 01:27:34,240
Oh, Hymie, what a pleasant surprise!
1131
01:27:40,500 --> 01:27:43,040
Uh, what a pleasant surprise...
1132
01:27:43,410 --> 01:27:47,830
Hey! I said I'd be here in 24 hours.
Therefore...
1133
01:27:48,330 --> 01:27:52,990
it ain't no surprise. And it ain't
gonna be pleasant either. May I?
1134
01:27:55,410 --> 01:27:57,330
Oh my God...
1135
01:28:10,750 --> 01:28:14,240
-What are these three bow-wows?
-It's our new lounge act.
1136
01:28:14,330 --> 01:28:18,240
What do they do? Scare the
audience to death? ...That's funny!
1137
01:28:20,330 --> 01:28:22,540
Mr. Hymie?
1138
01:28:24,410 --> 01:28:25,610
You girls ever hear of Nair?
1139
01:28:25,700 --> 01:28:27,580
-We're working on it.
-Huh?
1140
01:28:28,120 --> 01:28:30,620
Our doctor has us on hormones.
1141
01:28:31,540 --> 01:28:35,490
Well, I suggest you go for a second opinion,
because I think he's over-prescribing.
1142
01:28:36,250 --> 01:28:38,790
Hi, I'm Laverne.
1143
01:28:38,880 --> 01:28:41,150
[CRUNCH]
1144
01:28:45,540 --> 01:28:47,990
Get me those hormones.
1145
01:28:49,540 --> 01:28:52,540
Alright, Dumb-Dumb.
Where's my nine large?
1146
01:28:55,250 --> 01:28:58,620
One million dollars, Hymie.
And the rest is in escrow
1147
01:28:58,750 --> 01:29:01,790
in a bank in downtown Las Vegas.
1148
01:29:02,040 --> 01:29:06,160
I'm gonna consider this
interest only, alright?
1149
01:29:07,410 --> 01:29:13,790
Now, you have the principal by tomorrow,
or you'll be under downtown Las Vegas.
1150
01:29:16,410 --> 01:29:20,240
-Girls... so long.
-Bye, Mr. Hymie.
1151
01:29:22,750 --> 01:29:25,740
Excuse me...
You have a Ladies' restroom?
1152
01:29:25,870 --> 01:29:27,400
Yes, it says "Cowgirls".
1153
01:29:27,490 --> 01:29:29,290
-It's the second door on the left.
-On the left.
1154
01:29:29,500 --> 01:29:34,080
Now, this is a lifetime contract, as I said.
I presume they'll have their own wardrobe?
1155
01:29:38,500 --> 01:29:40,580
-Tits up!
-Alright.
1156
01:29:43,750 --> 01:29:47,870
-Mr. Hymie!
-That Laverne comes near me, waste her!
1157
01:29:50,250 --> 01:29:53,370
We were just wondering if you could
give us a little advice on our careers.
1158
01:29:53,580 --> 01:29:56,290
Oh, yeah! Get out of show business.
1159
01:29:57,120 --> 01:29:58,660
Now!
1160
01:30:01,500 --> 01:30:04,240
We got the money!
1161
01:30:04,750 --> 01:30:07,160
Hide! Somebody's coming!
1162
01:30:17,540 --> 01:30:19,670
-Your purses.
-Oh, good. We got the money!
1163
01:30:19,750 --> 01:30:21,410
-Oh, let's go!
-No, no!
1164
01:30:22,040 --> 01:30:23,740
We gotta save the Sheik!
1165
01:30:23,820 --> 01:30:25,580
-Come on.
-Alright.
1166
01:30:29,750 --> 01:30:34,660
Hi, I was wondering if you gentlemen will
be kind enough to help me with my luggage?
1167
01:30:37,370 --> 01:30:39,790
Man, those three broads
got a case of the uglies.
1168
01:30:39,870 --> 01:30:44,810
-Let the boss not hear you say that.
-[PUNCHES]
1169
01:30:46,120 --> 01:30:49,370
It's torture, I tell you.
Torture! Please. Please!
1170
01:30:49,500 --> 01:30:50,670
Hey, it's got a lock on it.
1171
01:30:50,760 --> 01:30:52,160
-Break it down.
-Come on.
1172
01:30:52,830 --> 01:30:55,490
Ladies, at one, two, three!
1173
01:30:58,790 --> 01:31:02,370
More Ladies! My beauties,
you must wait your turn.
1174
01:31:02,500 --> 01:31:04,830
There is only so much water
in the fountain.
1175
01:31:05,540 --> 01:31:06,810
Sheik, it's us!
1176
01:31:06,900 --> 01:31:09,990
-We're not girls!
-How dare you?
1177
01:31:10,040 --> 01:31:13,240
It is out of the question!
Allah will only forgive so much!
1178
01:31:13,370 --> 01:31:14,920
Hey Abdul, put your slipper's on.
1179
01:31:15,010 --> 01:31:17,240
-Let's get outta here.
-I don't want to go!
1180
01:31:18,080 --> 01:31:19,630
I've tried everything, but...
1181
01:31:19,710 --> 01:31:21,740
-Get me out of this.
-This is something.
1182
01:31:21,830 --> 01:31:25,040
-Can I take this with me?
-Okay with me. Come, tickle!
1183
01:31:26,870 --> 01:31:29,140
-I'm terribly sorry.
-Now, listen to me.
1184
01:31:29,220 --> 01:31:31,870
If these three uglies
get away with my million
1185
01:31:32,370 --> 01:31:36,330
Dumb-Dumb, then your father's gonna
owe me a big favor. You know why?
1186
01:31:36,500 --> 01:31:38,650
-No.
-Because I'm gonna kill you.
1187
01:31:38,730 --> 01:31:42,370
And then... he's gonna kill you.
And then he's gonna kill you.
1188
01:31:42,620 --> 01:31:45,830
-And then he's gonna kill you!
-Charmed. There's no need to worry, Hymie.
1189
01:31:46,000 --> 01:31:49,040
You see, they cannot escape.
There's no way out of here.
1190
01:31:49,120 --> 01:31:51,740
You are totally secure!
1191
01:31:53,500 --> 01:31:56,240
However, I'm very shaky.
1192
01:32:01,500 --> 01:32:04,410
-Open!
-Oh, shit! You got the key?
1193
01:32:04,620 --> 01:32:05,560
Maybe.
1194
01:32:05,640 --> 01:32:08,160
-You ungrateful putz!
-Hold it!
1195
01:32:14,410 --> 01:32:16,740
The three little pigs!
1196
01:32:25,330 --> 01:32:27,240
Get me somebody to hide behind!
1197
01:32:30,620 --> 01:32:34,080
This is it, boys. Remember the rules...
1198
01:32:34,750 --> 01:32:38,160
-No rules!
-You heard him. Absolutely no rules!
1199
01:32:38,500 --> 01:32:42,240
I told you, there's nothing to worry about.
There won't be any witnesses.
1200
01:32:42,830 --> 01:32:45,080
No witnesses?
1201
01:32:46,870 --> 01:32:49,330
J.J., they're all around us. I...
1202
01:33:12,160 --> 01:33:14,910
-My money or your life.
-Money!
1203
01:33:16,160 --> 01:33:18,990
-He's got the money.
-Ha... He's got the money.
1204
01:33:20,660 --> 01:33:21,990
J.J.
1205
01:33:27,540 --> 01:33:30,380
Hey, did you see that picture where
the bad guys get their last request?
1206
01:33:30,620 --> 01:33:32,810
-Yeah.
-Well, some time on the late show.
1207
01:33:32,900 --> 01:33:34,080
It was really a good movie.
1208
01:33:35,750 --> 01:33:38,790
A last meal perhaps?
You could lay a little BBQ on us.
1209
01:33:38,910 --> 01:33:41,660
You know, something that you
would go over the coals with?
1210
01:33:42,330 --> 01:33:45,040
I'll have some quiche.
And a little chocolate mousse.
1211
01:33:46,290 --> 01:33:49,080
Er, Shish kebab...
No, no. Couscous.
1212
01:33:50,040 --> 01:33:51,490
Friggin' chickasee?
1213
01:33:53,250 --> 01:33:55,080
Chicken fricasse...
1214
01:33:55,830 --> 01:33:58,160
-And you?
-I'd like a wine list.
1215
01:34:00,040 --> 01:34:03,120
Where I'm sending you, baby,
everything's on the menu.
1216
01:34:22,160 --> 01:34:23,740
We're saved!
1217
01:34:32,250 --> 01:34:34,240
Hey, reminds me of Brooklyn!
1218
01:34:40,660 --> 01:34:42,330
Hi there!
1219
01:34:50,750 --> 01:34:52,580
Surprise!
1220
01:34:57,000 --> 01:34:58,740
You too!
1221
01:35:00,660 --> 01:35:03,160
Any questions, boys?
1222
01:35:09,330 --> 01:35:12,080
-Do you mind a personal remark?
-No, of course not!
1223
01:35:12,250 --> 01:35:14,410
That is absolutely gorgeous!
1224
01:35:16,410 --> 01:35:18,490
Hey, one's getting away!
1225
01:35:20,830 --> 01:35:24,240
-I got him.
-I'll guard your back. Be careful and watch out!
1226
01:35:24,290 --> 01:35:26,620
No problem. I'll be right back!
1227
01:35:34,250 --> 01:35:36,910
You're okay? Must be
a pretty tough guy up there.
1228
01:35:37,040 --> 01:35:39,790
-Maybe I should take care of this one.
-He's all yours.
1229
01:35:44,160 --> 01:35:46,580
I think, he's over his head this time.
1230
01:36:01,370 --> 01:36:04,870
-Hey! You look like an athlete.
-Wow, thank you. I was an athlete.
1231
01:36:05,000 --> 01:36:06,830
-Oh yeah?
-Yeah, I was...
1232
01:36:08,040 --> 01:36:09,640
Oh, then you can
probably handle yourself.
1233
01:36:09,730 --> 01:36:12,620
-You're in danger.
-I'll protect you, Sister.
1234
01:36:13,500 --> 01:36:15,490
Four, five, six, seven...
1235
01:36:16,910 --> 01:36:18,410
Next!
1236
01:36:22,620 --> 01:36:25,870
Oh, don't do that to me again.
This is just beautiful!
1237
01:36:26,000 --> 01:36:27,110
That's European, isn't it?
1238
01:36:27,200 --> 01:36:29,040
-But of course.
-Absolutely stunning!
1239
01:36:29,750 --> 01:36:31,660
That's enough. That's enough!
1240
01:36:34,290 --> 01:36:36,490
-A thousand thanks, Sisters!
-Bless you, my friend.
1241
01:36:42,290 --> 01:36:44,120
Over there! Yeah!
1242
01:36:44,250 --> 01:36:47,580
Come on, you brat. You pervert!
1243
01:36:47,830 --> 01:36:50,240
Hey, how do you like this
for a hose job?
1244
01:36:56,000 --> 01:36:58,240
Oh yeah? Salute!
1245
01:36:59,660 --> 01:37:03,660
-Hello, Chaos!
-Look J.J., a flower! Nice, huh?
1246
01:37:04,000 --> 01:37:05,740
See ya!
1247
01:37:07,250 --> 01:37:10,990
And I figured that 30,000 we owe you...
This will more than take care of it.
1248
01:37:12,410 --> 01:37:15,120
-May I buy you a drink? Cherie!
-Yes.
1249
01:37:15,660 --> 01:37:18,790
Cherie!? I guess everyone...
They seem to be so busy!
1250
01:37:23,540 --> 01:37:24,740
That was fun, J.J!
1251
01:37:28,250 --> 01:37:30,540
-Get those guys!
-You got it.
1252
01:37:31,120 --> 01:37:33,410
Fly, baby! Fly!
1253
01:37:34,540 --> 01:37:37,990
Help is on the way!
Justice will triumph!
1254
01:37:40,870 --> 01:37:44,240
Sorry, bad guys! Carry on.
1255
01:37:44,870 --> 01:37:47,030
Raining like a son-of-a-bitch over there.
1256
01:37:47,110 --> 01:37:49,080
-You need any help here?
-Yes. Inject that.
1257
01:37:49,250 --> 01:37:53,240
Fine. Oh, the plague!
I've seen this before...
1258
01:38:04,330 --> 01:38:08,240
No, Jackie! J.J...
Cannonball... You got it!
1259
01:38:20,250 --> 01:38:22,410
-Friend or foe?
-Have a guess!
1260
01:38:25,250 --> 01:38:26,960
-It's a bird.
-It's a plane.
1261
01:38:27,040 --> 01:38:28,660
It's Hymie!
1262
01:38:37,500 --> 01:38:39,990
Would you hold this for me, please?
I would like to really...
1263
01:38:40,080 --> 01:38:43,660
get a good look at that ring again.
It's truly lovely.
1264
01:38:48,080 --> 01:38:49,620
Oh my God...
1265
01:38:57,540 --> 01:38:59,830
oh, look...
1266
01:39:00,250 --> 01:39:04,540
-J.J., it's a vision.
-No... No, it's us.
1267
01:39:09,620 --> 01:39:12,040
Oh, Sister Betty.
1268
01:39:12,500 --> 01:39:15,830
-"Him" didn't know you had that in you.
-"Him" will.
1269
01:39:17,000 --> 01:39:19,370
We're here to help you win!
1270
01:39:19,870 --> 01:39:21,740
-Did you miss me?
-So much...
1271
01:39:21,830 --> 01:39:24,620
Oh thanks. A little more than that?
1272
01:39:25,250 --> 01:39:27,990
I'm glad you missed me that much!
1273
01:39:28,790 --> 01:39:30,990
All these wonderful gals!
1274
01:39:32,500 --> 01:39:34,580
Fenderbaum!
1275
01:39:36,330 --> 01:39:38,990
Boy-nun, boy-boy, boy-nun.
1276
01:39:42,330 --> 01:39:46,040
Fenderbaum! What are you
doing with my partner?
1277
01:39:46,500 --> 01:39:48,330
-Partner?
-Partner?
1278
01:39:48,500 --> 01:39:52,160
Yes! I have bought the Pinto Ranch!
1279
01:39:52,580 --> 01:39:54,040
Yes!
1280
01:39:55,620 --> 01:39:59,160
And why not?
I have a weakness for blondes...
1281
01:39:59,370 --> 01:40:02,240
and women without mustaches.
1282
01:40:04,500 --> 01:40:10,370
Before you do any hiring you tell
your partner about your liabilities.
1283
01:40:10,500 --> 01:40:12,910
You know, you have a very big mouth!
1284
01:40:14,330 --> 01:40:16,580
-My sheik!
-My partner!
1285
01:40:16,790 --> 01:40:20,080
My Sheik, I will need
just a little operating capital.
1286
01:40:20,660 --> 01:40:22,410
How much?
1287
01:40:23,540 --> 01:40:27,120
-Nine million dollars?
-Nine million?
1288
01:40:27,370 --> 01:40:30,870
A drop in the well!
I will give you 18 million.
1289
01:40:31,000 --> 01:40:35,080
-That way you will have some petty cash!
-Thank you, my sheik. Where are you going?
1290
01:40:35,750 --> 01:40:38,040
To win the race!
1291
01:40:38,500 --> 01:40:42,740
To share in my good fortune
with my fellow Cannonballers
1292
01:40:43,000 --> 01:40:47,990
I have decided to raise the
prize money to two million dollars!
1293
01:40:49,790 --> 01:40:52,740
-How many zeros is in that?
-I don't know!
1294
01:40:53,870 --> 01:40:54,870
We'll split it three ways?
1295
01:40:54,950 --> 01:40:57,990
-Yeah!
-Come, my sweethearts, we go!
1296
01:41:07,290 --> 01:41:09,290
Hey, Fenderbaum, Blake!
Come here a minute!
1297
01:41:10,000 --> 01:41:12,410
What is it, Frank?
Can't you see we're busy?
1298
01:41:12,540 --> 01:41:16,026
I know that. That's why I want to get
a head start. See you in Connecticut.
1299
01:41:16,735 --> 01:41:18,050
♪ Piso en el acelerador ♪
1300
01:41:18,080 --> 01:41:20,010
♪ Voy en busca
de tu amor ♪
1301
01:41:20,050 --> 01:41:23,210
♪ Tu eres el final
de mi camino ♪
1302
01:41:23,250 --> 01:41:27,610
♪ Tengo prisa por llegar
no me puedo desviar ♪
1303
01:41:27,650 --> 01:41:31,580
♪ No hay distancia
para estar contigo ♪
1304
01:41:31,620 --> 01:41:35,580
♪ Tienes la licencia
para guiar mi amor ♪
1305
01:41:35,620 --> 01:41:39,110
♪ Me enloqueces con tu magia,
tu sonrisa ♪
1306
01:41:39,150 --> 01:41:43,050
♪ Tu cara me persigue,
por el retrovisor ♪
1307
01:41:43,080 --> 01:41:50,080
♪ Y tu recuerdo me estremece
tan fuerte como Cannonball ♪
1308
01:41:51,250 --> 01:41:55,110
♪ Como Cannonball ♪
1309
01:41:55,150 --> 01:41:57,980
♪ Como Cannonball ♪
1310
01:41:59,180 --> 01:42:02,780
♪ Como Cannonball ♪
1311
01:42:02,820 --> 01:42:07,250
♪ Sigo una estrella fugaz
no puedo quedarme atras ♪
1312
01:42:07,280 --> 01:42:11,850
♪ Tu eres la ruta
que escogi...♪
1313
01:42:12,750 --> 01:42:17,490
Oh, so sorry. You are average
player. Please try again later.
1314
01:42:19,050 --> 01:42:23,110
♪ Tienes la licencia
para guiar mi amor ♪
1315
01:42:23,150 --> 01:42:26,850
♪ Me enloqueces con tu magia,
tu sonrisa ♪
1316
01:42:26,880 --> 01:42:30,910
♪ Tu cara me persique,
por el retrovisor ♪
1317
01:42:30,950 --> 01:42:33,080
♪ Y tu recuerdo
me estremece ♪
1318
01:42:33,120 --> 01:42:38,050
♪ U-u tan fuerte
como Cannonball ♪
1319
01:42:38,780 --> 01:42:43,020
♪ Como Cannonball... ♪
1320
01:42:46,620 --> 01:42:50,540
You gotta have to stop this thing. I can't
examine you with all this movin' around.
1321
01:42:50,620 --> 01:42:56,290
I can't stop! I can't stop! Just keep
me alive until we reach Connecticut!
1322
01:43:05,160 --> 01:43:07,830
So much for Abdul...
1323
01:43:08,580 --> 01:43:12,490
It's money in the bank,
I tell you. A million bucks!
1324
01:43:12,660 --> 01:43:15,540
The whole of a million bucks apiece!
1325
01:43:21,620 --> 01:43:25,330
-That's Frank.
-Where'd he learn to drive like that?
1326
01:43:25,580 --> 01:43:27,910
I don't know, but don't let him pass us!
1327
01:43:28,250 --> 01:43:30,740
-Floor it!
-It's floored!
1328
01:43:31,290 --> 01:43:34,330
Hi Frank, chicky-lover baby!
Hi there!
1329
01:43:34,500 --> 01:43:37,990
Remember me, Fenderbaum? Listen,
whoever gets to the finish line first
1330
01:43:38,250 --> 01:43:40,490
we split it 50/50, okay?
1331
01:43:42,000 --> 01:43:43,370
70/30
1332
01:43:44,870 --> 01:43:47,370
How about 10%?
1333
01:43:47,870 --> 01:43:49,290
Forget it.
1334
01:43:50,380 --> 01:43:53,080
♪ Cannonball ♪
1335
01:43:53,120 --> 01:43:57,180
♪ Fuerte como Cannonball ♪
1336
01:43:57,220 --> 01:44:04,320
♪ Como Cannonball
fuerte como Cannonball ♪
1337
01:44:05,750 --> 01:44:09,580
♪ Como Cannonball ♪
1338
01:44:13,000 --> 01:44:15,790
Forget it, guys!
You're four hours and 15 martinis late!
1339
01:44:15,870 --> 01:44:18,990
Better go in the bar and get gassed up,
'cause you're racing back tomorrow...
1340
01:44:19,330 --> 01:44:23,160
-at noon!
-Park it. I'll see you in the bar.
1341
01:44:24,000 --> 01:44:27,330
Thanks. We'll leave tomorrow
and we'll be back in four days.
1342
01:44:27,580 --> 01:44:31,370
Then Atlantic City and a
weekend you'll never forget.
1343
01:44:31,500 --> 01:44:35,040
Once again you have brought
shame and disgrace to our tribe
1344
01:44:35,160 --> 01:44:39,240
-by not winning the Cannonball Run.
-But Pop, there was this doctor in the car.
1345
01:44:39,370 --> 01:44:41,910
-He gave me a... It was kismet.
-I warn you!
1346
01:44:42,120 --> 01:44:45,290
Tomorrow's race is the last
Cannonball I am financing.
1347
01:44:45,410 --> 01:44:47,990
If you do not win,
do not bother to come home.
1348
01:44:48,080 --> 01:44:50,830
Pop, don't worry. I can't lose!
1349
01:44:51,040 --> 01:44:55,870
I have hired the winner of this Cannonball
to be my co-driver in the next one.
1350
01:44:56,250 --> 01:45:00,240
I'd like you to meet him. I have
told him so much about you, Pop.
1351
01:45:03,500 --> 01:45:07,540
Excuse me, Sir.
I'd like you to meet my Pop!
1352
01:45:26,080 --> 01:45:29,910
The Cannonball is a race from California
to Connecticut. We have lots of fun.
1353
01:45:30,000 --> 01:45:33,080
And then... The Sheik... What they...
1354
01:45:33,750 --> 01:45:36,620
I can get this. Just a minute.
I can do it. Wait a minute.
1355
01:45:37,080 --> 01:45:39,740
-And... From the slap?
-We'll start from the slap.
1356
01:45:40,330 --> 01:45:42,370
Sir! Er...
1357
01:45:45,830 --> 01:45:48,540
Just pick it up right from the slap.
1358
01:45:50,040 --> 01:45:51,790
Sir!
1359
01:45:51,870 --> 01:45:55,910
Sorry, we get this in a minute.
It's alright. We get it. Here we go.
1360
01:45:56,290 --> 01:45:59,079
Oh, Sir! The Cannonball is a race
1361
01:45:59,080 --> 01:46:01,240
from Connecticut to your ass.
1362
01:46:15,750 --> 01:46:18,990
Now, if your mother
could kiss like that...
1363
01:46:19,330 --> 01:46:22,120
We're just gonna place it. Ready? Huh?
1364
01:46:24,620 --> 01:46:27,080
Is that what you want? You got it.
1365
01:46:27,250 --> 01:46:28,420
-You got it.
-I don't trust you.
1366
01:46:28,510 --> 01:46:31,240
No, you got it, I swear.
I'm just gonna place it.
1367
01:46:34,160 --> 01:46:37,330
Oh shit, if I wasn't getting
a lot of money...
1368
01:46:38,120 --> 01:46:41,370
-Don't get it from the ground.
-Where might I gonna get it from?
1369
01:46:41,500 --> 01:46:44,240
Get it from here. This is fresh.
1370
01:46:44,660 --> 01:46:47,740
-There'll be a mound here.
-I got fresh stuff here.
1371
01:46:47,830 --> 01:46:51,790
Nobody's ever peed on this.
I'm just gonna place it.
1372
01:46:55,620 --> 01:46:58,330
How animals live on this shit?
1373
01:47:20,290 --> 01:47:24,370
Listen, if we have these nuns
God will be our co-pilot.
1374
01:47:24,750 --> 01:47:27,910
I don't care. You listen to me.
Listen to me.
1375
01:47:30,790 --> 01:47:33,080
We're not taking those nuns along.
1376
01:47:36,080 --> 01:47:39,040
What is the matter with you?
I can't work like this!
1377
01:47:40,790 --> 01:47:43,670
-She's winking at me.
-Hold there.
1378
01:47:43,750 --> 01:47:45,240
She's to wave.
1379
01:47:45,290 --> 01:47:47,400
-Alright. Okay.
-I have no protection.
1380
01:47:47,480 --> 01:47:50,740
-She is... Godammit...
-Pick it up.
1381
01:47:51,620 --> 01:47:55,410
-Lepers? New York?
-No: "Lepers? Big Apple?"
1382
01:47:56,620 --> 01:47:59,370
I order you...
1383
01:48:02,830 --> 01:48:06,620
-J.J! Long time no see.
-Captain Chaos, nice to see you again.
1384
01:48:08,120 --> 01:48:09,160
Would you do it again?
1385
01:48:09,250 --> 01:48:10,740
-Yeah, certainly.
-Here we go.
1386
01:48:17,660 --> 01:48:20,290
Keep it rollin'. Here we go.
1387
01:48:24,540 --> 01:48:26,110
-J.J!
-Captain Chaos!
1388
01:48:26,200 --> 01:48:27,740
-Long time no see.
-Good to see you again.
1389
01:48:27,870 --> 01:48:29,160
-Good to see you!
-Listen...
1390
01:48:29,250 --> 01:48:31,240
I'd deem it a personal pruverage...
privilege,
1391
01:48:31,370 --> 01:48:35,240
if I can get in that bomb and get my teeth
fixed. Turn around, let's start again.
1392
01:48:38,540 --> 01:48:40,040
-J.J!
-Captain Chaos.
1393
01:48:40,130 --> 01:48:42,160
-Long time no see.
-Good to see you again.
1394
01:48:42,830 --> 01:48:45,660
I'd deem it a privilege
you let me ride in the bomb.
1395
01:48:46,160 --> 01:48:49,740
Did you understand that at all?
Just turn around and let me do it again.
1396
01:48:53,750 --> 01:48:56,620
Listen, isn't somebody gonna say "Cut"?
114222
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