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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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LAST WEEK TONIGHT
WITH JOHN OLIVER
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00:00:30,220 --> 00:00:32,499
Welcome to "Last Week Tonight!"
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00:00:32,579 --> 00:00:34,740
I'm John Oliver.
Thank you so much for joining us.
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It has been a busy week,
from Trump announcing plans
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to ruin your Thanksgiving
at least one more time,
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00:00:40,219 --> 00:00:41,819
to Nancy Pelosi announcing
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00:00:41,899 --> 00:00:43,940
that she'll step down
from her leadership role in the House,
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to Paris
revealing its Olympic mascots,
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00:00:46,459 --> 00:00:49,940
which look less like they're
advertising a worldwide sporting event
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00:00:50,020 --> 00:00:52,819
and more like a gynecologist
spent too much on marketing.
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00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,259
But we're gonna start
with the ongoing chaos at Twitter.
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It has now been three weeks since
it was taken over by Elon Musk,
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a man who answers the question,
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00:01:00,899 --> 00:01:03,740
"What if Willy Wonka
benefitted from apartheid?"
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00:01:04,259 --> 00:01:07,580
And it is worth going back
to the very start of his takeover,
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00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:10,380
because from day one,
it was a total mess.
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Elon Musk posted this video
of him arriving at Twitter's HQ.
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"Let that sink in," he told us.
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Two days later, he announced,
"Comedy is now legal on Twitter".
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Okay, then.
Although, if comedy is now legal,
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we probably need to reconvene
the Comedy Supreme Court
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00:01:27,699 --> 00:01:31,899
to set a precedent about that particular
violation of comedy law right there.
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00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,940
But many of the worst people on
Twitter seemed to take Elon's arrival
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as a sign that the brakes
were now off,
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with one analysis finding
the use of a racial slur
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spiking nearly 500% in the 12 hours
after his deal was finalized.
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Which is pretty shocking,
even for a website
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where a regular trending topic
is sometimes just "the Jews".
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That happens constantly.
You'll log in and see 30,000 people
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Tweeting about "the Jews"
on a Tuesday afternoon,
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and you do not
want to click to find out why.
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00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:04,979
Now, Elon initially tried
to set expectations low, Tweeting,
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00:02:05,059 --> 00:02:08,940
"Please note that Twitter will do lots
of dumb things in coming months",
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something that he then
elaborated on like this.
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Obviously, the intent
is not to do dumb things.
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We're not aspirationally dumb.
We're aspirationally, not dumb.
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00:02:20,579 --> 00:02:22,900
Okay, but if you have to say
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"we're not dumb" in three slightly
different ways in a row,
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00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:29,380
that doesn't really
inspire confidence.
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It's like someone going, "I'm sober.
I'm not drunk. I'm good to drive."
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By the end
of those three statements,
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I'm not handing you
the keys to anything.
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Twitter has always been a place where
you should be "aspirationally dumb".
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00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,660
Honestly, if it ends up becoming
somewhere that you can't Tweet
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00:02:45,739 --> 00:02:48,380
"The Babadook throat
game probably crazy"
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and get a quarter million likes,
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I don't want anything to do
with it anymore.
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00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,500
But whether aspirational
or inadvertent,
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Musk has indeed
done some very dumb things.
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Last week,
a new program went live
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where the site charged $8 a month
for blue checkmarks,
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a feature that used to verify
whether notable people or companies
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were actually
who they said they were.
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00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:11,699
So, for instance, when Amtrak
posted the actual Tweet, "trains",
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you knew an expert
was weighing in.
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And selling that verification
for $8 had predictable results.
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I want to show you a few of the fake
accounts that have popped up.
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A fake account for Nintendo,
the video game company,
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showed Mario there,
their iconic figure,
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giving the finger.
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00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:36,780
We have blurred it
because it's offensive, I guess.
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Yeah, I guess it is!
Mario giving the finger?
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Apparently unacceptable.
But, 500% increase in racism?
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"A-what-a-ya gonna do-a?"
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That doesn't count, by the way.
That one's allowed. I checked.
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00:03:50,819 --> 00:03:52,699
But it wasn't just Nintendo.
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00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:56,220
A fake verified Pepsi account Tweeted,
"Coke is better",
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00:03:56,539 --> 00:04:00,539
a fake American Girl account Tweeted,
"Felicity owned slaves",
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00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:01,979
which kind of makes you wonder
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what "Felicity Discovers a Secret"
was really about.
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00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:07,019
And a fake verified
Tesla account Tweeted,
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"We will be offering 10 000 vehicles
to support the Ukrainian military.
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Our cars are the most advanced
explosive devices on the market."
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So, clearly, things are changing
on Twitter right now.
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The site no longer seems to be adding
explanations to trending topics,
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a feature that helped add greater
context and combated misinformation.
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Which is why "RIPJimmyFallon" trended
on Tuesday with no further information,
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prompting Fallon himself to post,
"Elon, can you fix this?"
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to which Musk responded,
"Fix what?"
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which, yeah, stopped clock twice a day,
is a very funny response.
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But all of this is taking a real toll.
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Major advertisers have paused
or pulled their advertising revenue,
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including "General Mills, GM,
United Airlines, and Pfizer".
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Which is probably
a smart move for them,
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considering we're about 5 seconds away
from a fake Pfizer account Tweeting,
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"The rumors are true,
we chipped ya, baby!"
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or a fake General Mills account
Tweeting out,
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00:05:04,859 --> 00:05:07,100
"Cheerios are just cock rings
for mice!"
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As for working inside Twitter,
that sounds like an absolute nightmare.
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Musk has gotten
rid of more than half the staff,
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at times seemingly targeting
any workers who'd criticized him.
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And at one point,
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"engineers were asked to print out
their recent code contributions",
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so that they could be evaluated.
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Which is not only not how
you traditionally evaluate code,
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it's also a security risk,
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which is presumably why engineers
were then quickly told
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to shred their print-outs.
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And while some argue
there's a method to this madness,
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others aren't so sure.
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You don't fire half the people
that work in a company unless,
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you know, you have a plan, Ben.
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I think.
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Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
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This guy signed some paperwork
eight months ago
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that, it became very clear
he didn't really want to sign.
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And then later on spent
seven months trying to renege on it.
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If he has a plan I would like to see it,
as it is not a publicly available one.
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Right. It sure seems like Elon Musk
doesn't have a plan.
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He even seems to be
crowdsourcing advice,
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00:06:10,939 --> 00:06:14,379
with desperate Tweets like,
"What should Twitter do next?"
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00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:16,499
That is, when he's not spending
his time sharing memes
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like this picture
of a rock with the text,
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"Was magma before it was cool",
which he captioned, "This rocks".
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This is what he spent
$44 billion to do.
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To Tweet this rock joke.
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I think we might actually need
to make comedy illegal again.
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00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:35,939
And the mass departures at Twitter
could cause him real problems,
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not only have multiple labor
lawsuits already been filed,
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00:06:38,820 --> 00:06:42,979
Twitter's also been operating
under consent decree from the FTC,
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requiring special oversight
after allegations of user data misuse,
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00:06:47,499 --> 00:06:51,539
but several key people responsible
for that oversight are now gone.
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00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:56,660
While Elon's online persona throughout
all of this has been the "fun troll",
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during an appearance
at a conference on Monday,
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you got the sense that the fun
may have worn off for him.
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00:07:02,939 --> 00:07:06,140
I'm really working the absolute
most amount that I can work,
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00:07:06,619 --> 00:07:08,900
from morning 'til night,
seven days a week.
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So, this is not something
I'd recommend, frankly.
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Yeah.
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I don't know what else to say.
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Holy shit.
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That man is, in every possible sense,
in a very dark place.
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The entire vibe of that video
is "Wizard of Oz suicide note".
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And look, who knows
what's going to happen from here.
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Elon certainly doesn't seem to.
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He's decimated his staff
and degraded his product.
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00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:46,900
And sure, he could try
and sell what's left of Twitter.
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Or it could continue
functioning worse than before
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as his free-for-all digital
clown town.
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But while the potential collapse
of this site has been sad
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for the workers
and for those who have relied on it,
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there is undeniably
something a little satisfying
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about a guy who was so desperate
to be perceived
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00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,820
as cool and funny on the internet
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that he paid $44 billion
to make it happen,
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only to discover that he still
somehow couldn't afford it.
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Let that one sink in.
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And now, this!
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And Now:
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People on TV Have Some Thoughts
on Thanksgiving Foods.
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All the sides. Everything else
involved in Thanksgiving.
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The football, the friends, the family,
and everything. Turkey? Nah.
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No. I love all the other leftovers.
Just not the turkey.
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It just smells really bad to me.
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Turkey tastes like dirt.
Ham tastes like salted dirt.
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- I don't like sweet potatoes.
- How dare you?
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That's a strange thing.
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Green bean casserole.
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I've heard recently
that's a white people thing.
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I was gonna say that,
but I didn't want to be offensive.
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I'm a green bean
casserole type myself.
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Nobody eats all the green bean
casserole when I make it.
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I don't like the green beans.
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The only thing my kid will eat
is the biscuits.
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- He hates Thanksgiving food.
- Weird.
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What is going on at your house?
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I try. I make really good
green bean casserole, too.
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Apparently not.
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Moving on. Our main story tonight
concerns the World Cup.
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It's like the Super Bowl, except
the rest of the world gives a fuck.
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The World Cup is a big deal,
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a country even qualifying for it
is a cause for huge celebration.
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Just watch this Australian reporter
lose his mind
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when his nation beat Peru on penalties
to make it to the tournament.
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We're through!
We're through! Yeah!
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How good is this?
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God! How good is this? Yes!
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How are you feeling?
What are you feeling?
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He's got my scarf!
He got me scarf! That's me mum's!
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There is nothing
not to love about that,
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00:09:58,779 --> 00:10:01,019
from that reporter
holding out his microphone,
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to amplify people's joy-shrieking,
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00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:06,100
to the guy kissing the camera,
to someone stealing his scarf,
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which, sadly, he never got back.
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And the reason I know that is,
I have it now.
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Sure, it used to be your mum's,
but now it's all mine.
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00:10:15,979 --> 00:10:18,180
The World Cup
got underway today.
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00:10:18,259 --> 00:10:21,499
And we have talked before about
the organization behind it, FIFA.
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00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:24,420
A cartel-like group of scumbags
and assorted criminals
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00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,379
who occasionally
put on soccer matches.
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00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:30,420
FIFA has always been terrible.
Which is what makes it a little hard
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00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:34,139
to hear FIFA's current president claim
that their event isn't just about sport,
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00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:36,300
it's a net positive for humanity.
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00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:41,300
This FIFA World Cup,
a tournament of peace and unity,
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00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:46,379
will be the one that brings the world
together after some difficult times.
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00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:49,580
We should never underestimate
the unifying power
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00:10:50,379 --> 00:10:52,700
that something so unique has.
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00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:55,940
That is some pretty grandiose talk
coming from the star
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00:10:56,019 --> 00:10:58,940
of "What the Fuck Are Those Eyebrows,
Charlie Brown?"
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00:10:59,019 --> 00:11:01,739
But the truth is a lot more
complicated than that.
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00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:04,779
Which is not to say that I am not
excited about the World Cup.
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00:11:04,859 --> 00:11:05,859
Because I am.
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00:11:05,940 --> 00:11:08,460
It only happens every four years,
and I look forward to it
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00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:12,379
the way people with leap-year birthdays
look forward to leap years:
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00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:14,619
with an enthusiasm
somewhere between "understandable"
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00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:16,540
and honestly "kind of pathetic".
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00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:19,619
This World Cup is being hosted,
for the very first time,
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00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:22,460
in the Middle East,
by the small nation of Qatar,
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00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:25,940
which is going all-out to turn it
into a major branding event,
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00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:29,700
even signing a multi-million-dollar
agreement with David Beckham
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00:11:29,779 --> 00:11:31,779
to be an ambassador
for the country,
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00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:34,859
which presumably includes getting him
to make more videos like this.
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00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:37,659
I think everyone knows
how much I love food,
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00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:40,700
and the food culture
is very exciting in Qatar.
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00:11:40,779 --> 00:11:43,779
This is what I love.
I love to go to spice markets.
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00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:45,580
I love to go to fish markets.
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00:11:46,060 --> 00:11:48,499
I love Murakami.
218
00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:51,259
Everybody knows
how much I love a taco.
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00:11:51,340 --> 00:11:55,100
What I love is also,
we are now in this amazing place
220
00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:58,379
using the traditional spices.
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00:11:58,739 --> 00:12:01,300
I love riding.
I love a bike community.
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00:12:01,659 --> 00:12:04,659
I love being
in the middle of nowhere
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00:12:04,979 --> 00:12:08,420
and talking and eating.
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00:12:09,259 --> 00:12:10,739
This is perfection for me.
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00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:15,259
Okay. So, by my count,
David Beckham loves the following:
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00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:18,340
food, food culture,
spice markets, fish markets,
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00:12:18,659 --> 00:12:22,460
Murakami, a taco, bike culture,
and, of course,
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00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:25,060
being in the middle of nowhere,
eating and talking.
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00:12:25,139 --> 00:12:27,019
They really should've
just kept taking him places,
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00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,779
to see what they could get him
to say he loves for money.
231
00:12:29,859 --> 00:12:33,899
"I love public bathrooms. The aromas,
the atmosphere, I just love 'em.
232
00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:38,139
Everyone knows how much I love
tombstones and grieving families.
233
00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:42,340
I love proctologist offices.
I just love proctologist culture.
234
00:12:42,659 --> 00:12:44,180
This is perfection for me."
235
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:49,139
The point is, the next month is Qatar's
big moment on the world stage.
236
00:12:49,220 --> 00:12:52,700
They're hosting an event expected
to attract over a million spectators,
237
00:12:52,779 --> 00:12:55,899
in person, to a country
just the size of Connecticut.
238
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:58,979
But as you may have heard,
underneath the fun, pageantry,
239
00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:02,100
and David Beckham doing
bad Anthony Bourdain cosplay
240
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:04,379
is a much darker story,
241
00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:06,700
small signs of which
have leaked out this week,
242
00:13:06,779 --> 00:13:08,739
like in this moment
from a Danish reporter.
243
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:12,619
How would you describe working
conditions for journalists in Qatar?
244
00:13:13,379 --> 00:13:17,220
I can show you what the situation is
like by turning the camera 'round.
245
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,300
We are live on Danish television.
246
00:13:19,379 --> 00:13:22,979
And as you can see,
they are stopping us filming.
247
00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:27,499
You invited the whole world
to come here.
248
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:29,619
Why can't we film?
It's a public place.
249
00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:33,499
You can break the camera.
You want to break the camera?
250
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,619
Okay, you can break
the camera.
251
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:38,899
You are threatening us
by smashing the camera.
252
00:13:39,580 --> 00:13:41,580
Just a reminder. He was asked,
253
00:13:41,659 --> 00:13:45,180
"How would you describe working
conditions for journalists in Qatar?"
254
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:48,340
And just seconds later,
a bunch of golf cart goons
255
00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:50,820
showed up to answer
that question for him.
256
00:13:50,899 --> 00:13:54,979
Although, credit to this guy for being
so excited to appear on Danish TV
257
00:13:55,379 --> 00:13:57,420
that he gave the camera a little wave,
258
00:13:57,739 --> 00:14:00,340
before presumably smashing
the shit out of it.
259
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,139
But harassing journalists
is the tip of the iceberg here,
260
00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:07,180
one that includes a host
of human rights violations.
261
00:14:07,259 --> 00:14:10,820
Given all of that, tonight,
let's talk about the Qatar World Cup.
262
00:14:10,899 --> 00:14:14,100
And let's start by going back
to the moment, back in 2010,
263
00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:16,460
when the winner of the bid
to host this tournament
264
00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:19,259
was announced by the former
head of FIFA, Sepp Blatter.
265
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,899
The winner to organize
266
00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:26,300
the two-22 FIFA World Cup
267
00:14:26,619 --> 00:14:27,899
is Qatar!
268
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:31,180
As a general rule,
I try not to make fun
269
00:14:31,259 --> 00:14:33,859
of old men who don't speak English
as a first language,
270
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:36,739
but, due to evil,
Sepp Blatter is an exception,
271
00:14:36,820 --> 00:14:40,540
and him saying "two-22"
like a vampire telling the time
272
00:14:40,859 --> 00:14:42,540
will just always be funny to me.
273
00:14:42,859 --> 00:14:46,940
But that moment truly stunned people,
because, for reasons that, it turns out,
274
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:51,499
FIFA were fully aware of, Qatar
was a fundamentally unsound choice
275
00:14:51,580 --> 00:14:53,060
for a summer soccer tournament.
276
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:57,139
FIFA conducted its own objective
analysis of the various bids,
277
00:14:57,220 --> 00:15:01,019
which found that Qatar was an
unsuitable place to host the World Cup
278
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,580
and a dangerous place
to host the World Cup.
279
00:15:02,659 --> 00:15:05,259
That the summer temperatures
would be a hazard
280
00:15:05,340 --> 00:15:08,180
to the health of the players
and the fans,
281
00:15:08,739 --> 00:15:11,100
that Doha simply didn't have space
282
00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:14,180
for the kind of stadium infrastructure
that was going to be required.
283
00:15:14,259 --> 00:15:18,139
They would have to build
nine new stadiums,
284
00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:20,259
and there wasn't enough room
for them in Doha.
285
00:15:20,659 --> 00:15:22,499
So, they would have to kind of create
a whole new city.
286
00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:27,779
Yeah, Qatar wasn't just a surprising
choice, it was logically inexplicable.
287
00:15:27,859 --> 00:15:29,700
It'd be like
if the Westminster Dog Show
288
00:15:29,779 --> 00:15:32,619
awarded the "best in show" title
to a tortoise.
289
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:35,820
Nothing against that tortoise,
but not only should it not have won,
290
00:15:35,899 --> 00:15:38,580
it should've been
automatically disqualified.
291
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:40,940
The first and most obvious problem
292
00:15:41,019 --> 00:15:44,060
was that Qatar is notoriously
scorching hot in the summer.
293
00:15:44,139 --> 00:15:47,460
That is why FIFA eventually moved
the World Cup to November.
294
00:15:47,779 --> 00:15:51,499
But Qatar's initial pitch pretended
that heat wouldn't be an issue,
295
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:54,540
promising that they'd build
air-conditioned outdoor stadiums,
296
00:15:54,619 --> 00:15:57,540
while Qatari scientists
pitched ideas like a massive,
297
00:15:57,619 --> 00:16:00,420
remote-control artificial cloud
298
00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:04,340
that they could move around
to cover stadiums in shade.
299
00:16:04,899 --> 00:16:08,700
Which, A, didn't exist, and B,
wouldn't solve your problem anyway.
300
00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:10,580
It's the multimillion-dollar equivalent
301
00:16:10,659 --> 00:16:14,300
of pulling down the little car flap
to keep the sun out of your eyes.
302
00:16:14,379 --> 00:16:16,940
And at this point,
you will not be surprised to learn
303
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:21,499
of the many accusations that Qatar won
their World Cup bid through bribery,
304
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:25,220
with allegations that three of the
officials who agreed to vote for Qatar,
305
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:27,979
did so in exchange
for $1 million each.
306
00:16:28,060 --> 00:16:31,820
And I won't say that Qatar definitely
got the World Cup through bribery.
307
00:16:31,899 --> 00:16:35,379
But I won't say that they didn't.
And I will say that they did.
308
00:16:37,259 --> 00:16:42,259
And while they deny that there
was any misconduct in their bid,
309
00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:44,499
the fact remained
that they were gonna need to build
310
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,619
not just a bunch of new stadiums,
but also, "a new airport,
311
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:50,739
metro system, roads,
and about 100 new hotels".
312
00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:53,300
They had to build so much
new infrastructure, in fact,
313
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,700
that even the World Cup's mascot,
La'eeb,
314
00:16:55,779 --> 00:16:59,259
doesn't seem to be able to believe
what his country has just done.
315
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,619
First thing I want to show you
is the stadiums.
316
00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:05,179
The stadiums!
317
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:08,459
Eight mind-blowing arenas,
318
00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:11,699
designed by some of the best
architects in the world!
319
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,300
This is Lusail City.
320
00:17:13,939 --> 00:17:16,060
Can you believe it didn't exist
10 years ago?
321
00:17:16,740 --> 00:17:19,939
Now, it's one of the cities hosting
FIFA World Cup matches.
322
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,699
You know what, La'eeb?
323
00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:24,340
I can't believe that city
wasn't there 10 years ago, either,
324
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:26,340
and it's actually a bit alarming!
325
00:17:26,419 --> 00:17:28,820
If you drove by an empty plot of land
with a sign reading,
326
00:17:28,899 --> 00:17:30,899
"Coming Soon: A T.G.I.Fridays!"
327
00:17:30,980 --> 00:17:34,219
and the very next day, drove by
and saw the grand opening of it,
328
00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:38,379
you'd rightly have some questions about
how the fuck it happened that fast.
329
00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:40,740
According to one estimate,
Qatar's government has spent
330
00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:43,820
more than $300 billion
on infrastructure projects.
331
00:17:43,899 --> 00:17:46,619
And look, they can afford that.
They have a lot of money,
332
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:49,020
thanks to their huge oil
and natural gas reserves.
333
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:51,939
What they don't have a lot of,
though, is Qataris,
334
00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:55,820
because Qatari nationals
only number around 380,000,
335
00:17:55,899 --> 00:18:00,300
however, the country has an overall
population of nearly three million.
336
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:04,540
And that is because 90% of it consists
of foreigners and migrant workers.
337
00:18:04,859 --> 00:18:08,580
And it's migrant workers who perform
most of the manual labor there.
338
00:18:08,659 --> 00:18:11,580
And those laborers
are the ones who've had to build
339
00:18:11,659 --> 00:18:13,859
all the new infrastructure
for this tournament.
340
00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:17,179
Which brings us to one
of the major scandals underlying it.
341
00:18:17,260 --> 00:18:20,340
Qatar recruited hundreds
of thousands of workers,
342
00:18:20,419 --> 00:18:22,780
mainly from India, Nepal,
and Bangladesh,
343
00:18:22,859 --> 00:18:24,859
through agencies
in their home countries.
344
00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:27,859
Just to secure a job,
migrants had little choice
345
00:18:27,939 --> 00:18:31,859
but to pay recruitment fees of up
to $4,000 before they left the country.
346
00:18:32,899 --> 00:18:36,020
And once they got to Qatar,
they were already in debt
347
00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:39,419
and trapped in a system
known in the Middle East as kafala.
348
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:42,580
The kafala system can be a form
of modern-day slavery,
349
00:18:42,939 --> 00:18:47,179
and the features of it amount
in some cases to forced labor.
350
00:18:47,659 --> 00:18:50,659
It's true. All the new stadiums
and infrastructure
351
00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:53,580
were essentially built
through modern-day slavery.
352
00:18:53,659 --> 00:18:55,899
So, we should probably introduce
a new collective noun
353
00:18:55,980 --> 00:18:57,820
to refer to this group of stadiums.
354
00:18:57,899 --> 00:19:01,899
A gaggle of geese, a pod of whales,
an atrocity of stadiums.
355
00:19:02,699 --> 00:19:06,260
The kafala system exists in some form
in several countries in the Middle East.
356
00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:09,020
And under it in Qatar,
workers couldn't switch jobs
357
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:12,859
or leave the country without the
explicit permission of their employer,
358
00:19:12,939 --> 00:19:16,780
in some cases, because they might've
literally had their passport taken away.
359
00:19:17,139 --> 00:19:19,379
And being so fully dependent
on an employer
360
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:22,139
meant that laborers
had virtually no rights.
361
00:19:22,219 --> 00:19:24,219
Take Anish, a laborer from Nepal,
362
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,300
who maintains
that he was routinely underpaid,
363
00:19:26,379 --> 00:19:29,419
and for doing work
in truly brutal conditions.
364
00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:33,939
I went to Qatar in 2019.
365
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:37,740
On the 21st of March, I started
working at the Lusail Stadium.
366
00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:40,699
It was very hot in Qatar.
367
00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:44,060
It got up to 52 degrees Celsius
the first year I was there.
368
00:19:46,379 --> 00:19:49,619
I used to sweat in the exact way
as if it was raining from the sky.
369
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,820
You know how hot
52 degrees Celsius is?
370
00:19:53,219 --> 00:19:55,780
It's 125 degrees Fahrenheit.
371
00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:59,899
If you build a stadium in that heat,
you should get to own it.
372
00:20:00,379 --> 00:20:04,580
That shouldn't be Lusail Stadium.
That should be Anish's Fucking Stadium,
373
00:20:04,659 --> 00:20:07,580
and no one should be allowed inside it
without saying that out loud.
374
00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,780
And there's something
pretty fucked up about arguing,
375
00:20:10,859 --> 00:20:14,060
"It's too hot for peak athletes
to be outside for 90 minutes,
376
00:20:14,139 --> 00:20:17,260
but it's completely fine for people
to build stadiums in that heat
377
00:20:17,340 --> 00:20:19,619
for hours a day,
and for months on end."
378
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:21,859
And that's not even getting
into the living conditions
379
00:20:21,939 --> 00:20:23,740
that workers there
were subjected to.
380
00:20:23,820 --> 00:20:28,300
We drove outside the city to a place the
government doesn't want people to see:
381
00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:31,780
the sprawling labor camps
where the workers are housed.
382
00:20:31,859 --> 00:20:35,540
Inside, the men were packed
wall to wall, eight to a room.
383
00:20:35,619 --> 00:20:38,659
The heat was stifling,
the kitchen filthy,
384
00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:41,699
the beds, they told us,
infested with bedbugs.
385
00:20:42,379 --> 00:20:45,820
22-year-old Koom lives here
among 150 other men.
386
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:48,060
They share two bathrooms.
387
00:20:48,139 --> 00:20:50,459
There's no shower here?
There's nowhere to wash your body?
388
00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:52,619
- No.
- Where do you wash your body?
389
00:20:53,020 --> 00:20:57,100
- The buckets.
- You wash your body in the toilet?
390
00:20:57,619 --> 00:21:01,020
Hard to believe,
but in these camps, it's routine.
391
00:21:01,580 --> 00:21:04,300
At another camp, the toilets
overflowed with sewage,
392
00:21:04,699 --> 00:21:08,139
and two filthy kitchens
were being shared by 600 men.
393
00:21:08,659 --> 00:21:12,500
That is horrifying. No one
should ever have to live like that.
394
00:21:12,580 --> 00:21:14,859
Just wait until La'eeb
finds out about this.
395
00:21:16,780 --> 00:21:17,859
Yeah.
396
00:21:17,939 --> 00:21:20,540
Yeah, your tournament's built
on human suffering, buddy!
397
00:21:20,939 --> 00:21:23,419
And you should know,
when that reporter went and talked
398
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:26,699
to the head of one of Qatar's
leading sports organizations,
399
00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:27,859
it didn't go well.
400
00:21:28,379 --> 00:21:30,219
You go yourself and investigate it.
401
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:34,500
You will see them living in a very,
you know, comfortable,
402
00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:36,619
healthy environment.
403
00:21:36,939 --> 00:21:38,500
- Comfortable and healthy?
- Of course.
404
00:21:38,580 --> 00:21:41,340
They are living
in a very healthy environment.
405
00:21:41,659 --> 00:21:45,020
Mr. Al-Sulaiteen, with all due respect,
we have gone to the camps.
406
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:46,899
- You went yourself?
- Yes. This week in Doha.
407
00:21:47,379 --> 00:21:51,379
Where you have hundreds of thousands
of men living in labor camps,
408
00:21:51,459 --> 00:21:54,820
some of them packed into small rooms,
eight men to a room
409
00:21:55,459 --> 00:21:59,419
like the one we saw,
10 men sharing a toilet, no showers.
410
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,820
Have you been
to the labor camps yourself, sir?
411
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:04,100
I'm not going to answer
your questions.
412
00:22:04,540 --> 00:22:06,619
- You don't want to answer that?
- I don't want to answer.
413
00:22:07,179 --> 00:22:09,820
And with that,
we were told the interview was over.
414
00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:11,659
Incredible.
415
00:22:11,740 --> 00:22:14,820
Nothing says "workers live in a
comfortable and healthy environment"
416
00:22:14,899 --> 00:22:17,899
quite like leaving the room
30 seconds after you realize
417
00:22:17,980 --> 00:22:21,300
that the person you're talking
to has actually seen that environment.
418
00:22:21,379 --> 00:22:22,500
And it gets worse.
419
00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:25,980
A Guardian investigation
found that 6,500 migrant workers
420
00:22:26,060 --> 00:22:29,580
died in Qatar
from 2010 to 2020.
421
00:22:29,659 --> 00:22:32,899
That number accounts for all
migrant worker deaths in Qatar,
422
00:22:32,980 --> 00:22:35,139
not just those who worked
on stadiums.
423
00:22:35,219 --> 00:22:37,179
And the Qatari
government's preferred count
424
00:22:37,260 --> 00:22:40,379
states that there've
actually only been 37 deaths
425
00:22:40,459 --> 00:22:42,139
among laborers
at World Cup stadiums,
426
00:22:42,219 --> 00:22:45,219
and of those, that only three
were "work-related".
427
00:22:45,540 --> 00:22:48,419
But if that number
seems suspiciously low to you,
428
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:50,340
it's because it very much is.
429
00:22:50,820 --> 00:22:53,540
Their "preferred count"
is conveniently limited
430
00:22:53,619 --> 00:22:55,219
to the small handful
of work sites
431
00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:57,740
that were under the highest level
of scrutiny
432
00:22:57,820 --> 00:23:01,459
and exclude the hundreds of other
World Cup-related projects.
433
00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:04,980
What's more, autopsies weren't
done on most of these workers,
434
00:23:05,060 --> 00:23:08,939
with one investigation finding
that nearly 70% of deaths of Indian,
435
00:23:09,020 --> 00:23:11,300
Nepali, and Bangladeshi nationals
436
00:23:11,379 --> 00:23:15,139
were attributed to "natural causes"
or "cardiac arrest".
437
00:23:15,540 --> 00:23:18,179
Which feels deliberately vague.
438
00:23:18,260 --> 00:23:21,300
Because cardiac arrest
just means their heart stopped,
439
00:23:21,379 --> 00:23:23,699
which is literally
how everybody dies.
440
00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:27,500
I can tell you with full confidence
that "his heart stopped"
441
00:23:27,580 --> 00:23:29,980
is how both I and Kid Rock
will die.
442
00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:31,939
That doesn't mean
that our cardiac arrest
443
00:23:32,020 --> 00:23:34,020
will be caused by the same thing,
though, does it?
444
00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:36,340
One of our deaths
will likely involve a lot of meth,
445
00:23:36,419 --> 00:23:39,500
a monster truck,
and a variety of illegal fireworks,
446
00:23:39,580 --> 00:23:41,780
and the other death
will be Kid Rock's.
447
00:23:43,179 --> 00:23:47,260
And Qatar will argue that they have
made some significant labor reforms.
448
00:23:47,340 --> 00:23:49,699
It's something that the head
of their World Cup efforts
449
00:23:49,780 --> 00:23:51,260
has proudly bragged about.
450
00:23:51,939 --> 00:23:54,699
If we look at the actions that
the government has taken so far,
451
00:23:54,780 --> 00:23:57,500
laws implemented
and being applied as well,
452
00:23:58,859 --> 00:24:01,260
the kafala system
has been dismantled.
453
00:24:01,340 --> 00:24:04,939
Both in terms of allowing
for workers to change employers
454
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:09,060
and at the same time also there
was the exit permit system.
455
00:24:09,459 --> 00:24:10,899
They couldn't leave
without permission.
456
00:24:10,980 --> 00:24:12,859
That has been dismantled as well.
457
00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:17,580
Those reforms sound great,
and to an extent, they are.
458
00:24:17,659 --> 00:24:20,139
But they also have
some major asterisks on them.
459
00:24:20,219 --> 00:24:23,139
Workers in Qatar have said
that "they are still required
460
00:24:23,219 --> 00:24:25,139
to get permission
from their current employer
461
00:24:25,219 --> 00:24:27,139
before they can move
to a new job",
462
00:24:27,219 --> 00:24:29,820
and have also experienced
"retaliation from their employers"
463
00:24:29,899 --> 00:24:31,219
when they try to leave.
464
00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:33,699
But also, the reforms
that he's bragging about there
465
00:24:33,780 --> 00:24:37,020
only began
to be implemented in 2018,
466
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:39,540
when much of the hard work
was already done.
467
00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:42,740
So, he is bragging about
dismantling the kafala system
468
00:24:42,820 --> 00:24:45,179
while sitting
in a stadium built using it.
469
00:24:45,659 --> 00:24:48,300
The only way that pat on the back
could've been more hypocritical
470
00:24:48,379 --> 00:24:52,699
is if he'd forced a migrant worker
to do it for him in 120-degree heat.
471
00:24:53,340 --> 00:24:57,260
Incredibly it's not just Qatar bragging
about the progress that's been made.
472
00:24:57,340 --> 00:25:00,820
FIFA has had the nerve
to claim credit for it, too.
473
00:25:01,260 --> 00:25:03,379
All the changes
that have happened in this country
474
00:25:03,780 --> 00:25:05,780
in terms of human rights
and workers' rights and so on,
475
00:25:06,699 --> 00:25:09,219
human rights,
would not have happened,
476
00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:14,740
or certainly not at the same speed
without the projectors of the World Cup.
477
00:25:15,379 --> 00:25:19,100
Corruption Caillou, that is one hell
of a fucking claim there.
478
00:25:19,619 --> 00:25:22,619
Because you cannot possibly argue
FIFA deserves credit here.
479
00:25:22,699 --> 00:25:24,540
FIFA's evaluation of Qatar's bid
480
00:25:24,619 --> 00:25:27,260
had literally zero mentions
of human rights
481
00:25:27,340 --> 00:25:29,260
or demands for labor reforms.
482
00:25:29,340 --> 00:25:31,060
Think of it like this:
if the country
483
00:25:31,139 --> 00:25:33,899
had made no changes to its kafala
system in the past few years,
484
00:25:33,980 --> 00:25:35,540
and instead had passed a law called
485
00:25:35,619 --> 00:25:38,899
"The Doubling Down
on Slave Labor Act of 2019",
486
00:25:38,980 --> 00:25:40,260
you know
what would have happened?
487
00:25:40,340 --> 00:25:43,300
The World Cup still would
have kicked off in Qatar today.
488
00:25:43,379 --> 00:25:45,419
Isn't that right, La'eeb?
Wink if you agree!
489
00:25:46,659 --> 00:25:50,219
I fucking knew it! I knew you knew
what was going on there!
490
00:25:50,980 --> 00:25:53,100
When FIFA awarded Qatar
the World Cup,
491
00:25:53,179 --> 00:25:55,540
there was only one way
those stadiums were getting built,
492
00:25:55,619 --> 00:25:58,379
and there was only one group of people
who were going to do it,
493
00:25:58,459 --> 00:26:00,260
and they gave them
the tournament anyway.
494
00:26:00,619 --> 00:26:02,300
And that is not
the only troubling thing
495
00:26:02,379 --> 00:26:04,500
that they had
to have known back then.
496
00:26:04,580 --> 00:26:07,179
Let's take a moment to talk
about Qatar's human rights situation.
497
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:10,859
And I recognize, every country
has human rights issues,
498
00:26:10,939 --> 00:26:12,780
including this one,
for more on that,
499
00:26:12,859 --> 00:26:15,820
see every other story
this show has ever done.
500
00:26:16,139 --> 00:26:18,899
But Qatar is, in some ways,
next level.
501
00:26:18,980 --> 00:26:21,260
Women there
have very limited rights.
502
00:26:21,340 --> 00:26:23,780
They need permission
from their male guardians to marry,
503
00:26:23,859 --> 00:26:27,580
work in many government jobs,
and travel abroad until certain ages.
504
00:26:27,659 --> 00:26:30,060
Also, because sex
outside of marriage is illegal,
505
00:26:30,139 --> 00:26:32,980
pregnant women have to present
a marriage certificate
506
00:26:33,060 --> 00:26:34,780
to receive prenatal care.
507
00:26:34,859 --> 00:26:36,340
Which I hesitate
to even tell you about,
508
00:26:36,419 --> 00:26:39,139
just in case the Supreme Court
is watching this show tonight
509
00:26:39,219 --> 00:26:40,820
and getting any new ideas.
510
00:26:41,740 --> 00:26:45,020
As for the LGBT community,
sexual conduct between men
511
00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:48,260
is criminalized and can result
in seven years in prison.
512
00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:51,060
And FIFA
was not unaware of this.
513
00:26:51,379 --> 00:26:54,580
Sepp Blatter even joked
about it just days after Qatar
514
00:26:54,659 --> 00:26:55,820
was awarded the tournament.
515
00:26:55,899 --> 00:26:58,939
Because when he was asked what
advice he would give to gay fans
516
00:26:59,020 --> 00:27:02,419
who might want to travel to Qatar,
this was his fun response.
517
00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:07,780
Then I would say then that they should
refrain from any sexual activities.
518
00:27:10,219 --> 00:27:13,419
They say in comedy, you can
either punch up, punch down,
519
00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:15,740
or co-sign oppressive governments
for a quick laugh
520
00:27:15,820 --> 00:27:17,939
while looking like the Penguin
went to Wharton,
521
00:27:18,020 --> 00:27:20,820
and we all know
which option he just chose there.
522
00:27:20,899 --> 00:27:24,300
Get Sepp Blatter a Netflix special.
It seems like he's ready.
523
00:27:25,139 --> 00:27:28,859
Qatar has repeated that everyone
is welcome at this World Cup,
524
00:27:28,939 --> 00:27:30,179
including gay fans.
525
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:34,020
But as this gay Qatari man,
who was granted asylum in the U.S.
526
00:27:34,100 --> 00:27:36,740
citing the dangers he faced there,
points out,
527
00:27:36,820 --> 00:27:39,540
even if that is the case
for the next four weeks,
528
00:27:39,619 --> 00:27:41,699
it's a hell of a blind eye to turn.
529
00:27:42,300 --> 00:27:43,459
It's like having
530
00:27:45,500 --> 00:27:50,780
a household with children
that are domestically abused.
531
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:53,939
And now, you are gonna have
a fancy dinner party.
532
00:27:55,780 --> 00:27:57,859
People can come in,
they can bring their kids.
533
00:27:58,179 --> 00:28:02,500
Their kids can jump on the table
and they can do everything they want.
534
00:28:03,139 --> 00:28:04,859
The children that live there
535
00:28:04,939 --> 00:28:07,740
are gonna be in the basement,
quiet, behaving.
536
00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:11,899
And they can't jump on the table
like the other kids that visited,
537
00:28:12,859 --> 00:28:15,379
because they will be punished
in that household for doing it.
538
00:28:17,060 --> 00:28:19,820
Now you know that the children
there are abused,
539
00:28:21,419 --> 00:28:23,419
so how are you showing up
to our home?
540
00:28:24,139 --> 00:28:25,139
Exactly.
541
00:28:25,459 --> 00:28:28,780
The Qatari government is engaging
in some truly horrendous behavior.
542
00:28:28,859 --> 00:28:32,740
And we can't just gloss over that and
uncritically put it in the spotlight.
543
00:28:32,820 --> 00:28:36,219
It's an authoritarian regime,
not Mel fucking Gibson.
544
00:28:36,740 --> 00:28:38,100
By the way, here's a fun game.
545
00:28:38,179 --> 00:28:40,219
Guess how many movies
he's been in this year?
546
00:28:40,300 --> 00:28:44,619
You're wrong, it's seven.
This truly has been the year of Mel!
547
00:28:45,419 --> 00:28:47,419
And none of this,
the working conditions,
548
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:49,219
the oppression of women
or gay people,
549
00:28:49,300 --> 00:28:50,899
was a dealbreaker for FIFA.
550
00:28:50,980 --> 00:28:55,619
Qatar's authoritarian tendencies
may have been a deal-sweetener,
551
00:28:55,699 --> 00:28:58,459
because FIFA has long
had a soft spot for autocrats.
552
00:28:58,540 --> 00:28:59,580
And I'm not just saying that
553
00:28:59,659 --> 00:29:02,500
because they gave the World Cup
to Russia in 2018,
554
00:29:02,580 --> 00:29:05,340
or went ahead with one
in Argentina in 1978,
555
00:29:05,419 --> 00:29:07,659
when it was run
by a military dictatorship,
556
00:29:07,740 --> 00:29:12,980
or even that they held the second
World Cup in Mussolini's Italy in 1934.
557
00:29:13,540 --> 00:29:15,100
They've said it themselves.
558
00:29:15,580 --> 00:29:18,340
FIFA's former secretary general,
Jerome Valcke, once said,
559
00:29:18,419 --> 00:29:21,740
"I will say something which is crazy,
but less democracy
560
00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:24,419
is sometimes better
for organizing a World Cup.
561
00:29:24,780 --> 00:29:26,820
When you have
a very strong head of state,
562
00:29:26,899 --> 00:29:29,139
that is easier for us organizers."
563
00:29:29,540 --> 00:29:32,139
And even for a quote
which is prefaced by,
564
00:29:32,219 --> 00:29:34,459
"I will say
something which is crazy,"
565
00:29:34,540 --> 00:29:36,219
that is fucking nuts.
566
00:29:37,260 --> 00:29:42,020
But authoritarians are good for FIFA,
and FIFA is good for authoritarians.
567
00:29:42,340 --> 00:29:45,659
As this critic points out,
Russia's World Cup four years ago
568
00:29:45,740 --> 00:29:48,300
was preceded by a lot of controversy
and criticism,
569
00:29:48,379 --> 00:29:50,939
but that's not what people
remember about it.
570
00:29:51,659 --> 00:29:53,659
What you saw
in the run-up to 2018
571
00:29:54,020 --> 00:29:57,020
was a lot of coverage
of what was happening in Russia,
572
00:29:57,419 --> 00:29:58,820
a lot of coverage
of the rights abuses,
573
00:29:59,139 --> 00:30:01,500
a lot of interest in that,
and a lot of engagement in it.
574
00:30:03,699 --> 00:30:07,100
And I think what the Qataris will have
noticed was how that all vanished
575
00:30:07,179 --> 00:30:09,699
as soon as the first whistle blew.
576
00:30:11,020 --> 00:30:13,500
And I think everyone
became captivated by the football.
577
00:30:15,540 --> 00:30:18,500
The Qataris know that if they
can just get to that first whistle,
578
00:30:18,580 --> 00:30:20,139
then they're over the line.
579
00:30:21,179 --> 00:30:23,980
It's true.
Such is the power of the World Cup.
580
00:30:24,060 --> 00:30:28,219
Any memories of controversy are likely
to be washed away once it begins.
581
00:30:28,300 --> 00:30:32,219
And incidentally,
what a VIP box to be a part of there.
582
00:30:32,540 --> 00:30:35,459
Quick tip for the president of FIFA,
if you're gonna make arguments
583
00:30:35,540 --> 00:30:37,939
about how your organization
is a global force for good,
584
00:30:38,020 --> 00:30:39,419
maybe try not to sit
585
00:30:39,500 --> 00:30:42,139
between Mohammad bin Salman
and Vladimir Putin,
586
00:30:42,459 --> 00:30:45,580
because you are the filling
in a real shit sandwich there.
587
00:30:46,419 --> 00:30:50,419
And the thing is,
that first whistle has now been blown.
588
00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:54,500
Qatar played Ecuador in the opening
game of the tournament earlier today.
589
00:30:54,580 --> 00:30:56,340
So, what now?
590
00:30:56,740 --> 00:31:00,139
Well, workers like Anish hope
that some of the athletes participating
591
00:31:00,219 --> 00:31:04,100
can help shine a light on all the
exploitation that went into this event.
592
00:31:07,780 --> 00:31:09,260
My message for Messi,
593
00:31:09,340 --> 00:31:12,060
thousands of workers like me
have worked on the stadium.
594
00:31:12,379 --> 00:31:14,820
We did not get our salary,
our benefits.
595
00:31:14,899 --> 00:31:17,540
I hope that if you talk
about workers like us,
596
00:31:17,619 --> 00:31:19,219
maybe we will get
what we are owed.
597
00:31:20,939 --> 00:31:23,980
I do not have much faith,
but still, I have hope.
598
00:31:24,780 --> 00:31:27,100
And that hope is pretty moving,
599
00:31:27,459 --> 00:31:30,419
especially given all the reasons
not to have any.
600
00:31:31,020 --> 00:31:33,260
And I really hope
that Messi hears that message.
601
00:31:33,340 --> 00:31:35,580
Though, given that he plays
for Paris Saint-Germain,
602
00:31:35,659 --> 00:31:39,219
a team literally owned by
the state investment fund of Qatar,
603
00:31:39,300 --> 00:31:42,219
I wouldn't hold your breath
waiting for him to criticize them.
604
00:31:42,300 --> 00:31:45,260
People generally don't openly shit
on their employers,
605
00:31:45,340 --> 00:31:48,500
unless of course that employer
is Warner Brothers Discovery,
606
00:31:48,580 --> 00:31:50,820
in which case
you can happily shit away,
607
00:31:51,300 --> 00:31:54,740
because apparently they're too busy
canceling shows to notice.
608
00:31:55,100 --> 00:31:58,859
I will say, some players, to their
credit, have been speaking out.
609
00:31:58,939 --> 00:32:00,619
Harry Kane
and other team captains
610
00:32:00,699 --> 00:32:03,659
have said that they'll wear a OneLove
armband during games,
611
00:32:03,740 --> 00:32:06,619
and organizations from
Australia's national team to FIFPRO,
612
00:32:06,939 --> 00:32:08,899
the international players' union,
613
00:32:08,980 --> 00:32:11,379
have issued statements condemning
Qatar's treatment of workers,
614
00:32:11,459 --> 00:32:13,139
women, and gay people.
615
00:32:13,219 --> 00:32:17,139
But ultimately, it's not the players
who are responsible for this mess,
616
00:32:17,219 --> 00:32:18,260
it's FIFA.
617
00:32:18,580 --> 00:32:20,740
They put the World Cup in Qatar,
618
00:32:20,820 --> 00:32:24,780
and everything that's happened since
then has been a complete disgrace.
619
00:32:24,859 --> 00:32:27,939
I'm not saying that you shouldn't
watch this World Cup
620
00:32:28,260 --> 00:32:29,659
or be excited about it.
621
00:32:29,740 --> 00:32:32,419
As tough as this is to admit,
I will be watching.
622
00:32:33,020 --> 00:32:36,740
One of my greatest joys is sitting
completely alone in my living room
623
00:32:36,820 --> 00:32:39,139
and cheering on England
until they're inevitably
624
00:32:39,219 --> 00:32:41,459
knocked out in the quarterfinals
on penalties.
625
00:32:41,980 --> 00:32:45,260
But let's try and make sure
a line is drawn here.
626
00:32:45,580 --> 00:32:48,540
Because in a few weeks' time,
the World Cup will be over.
627
00:32:48,980 --> 00:32:51,260
The final whistle will be blown
on December 18th
628
00:32:51,340 --> 00:32:53,300
in the stadium that Anish built
629
00:32:53,379 --> 00:32:56,060
in a city
that didn't exist 10 years ago,
630
00:32:56,139 --> 00:32:57,980
and FIFA will happily move on.
631
00:32:58,300 --> 00:33:00,459
And while they will point
to new human rights policies
632
00:33:00,540 --> 00:33:01,780
that they've now adopted,
633
00:33:01,859 --> 00:33:04,859
we'll see how truly committed
to those they really are.
634
00:33:05,619 --> 00:33:08,659
Especially given that one of the
suitors to host the 2030 World Cup
635
00:33:08,740 --> 00:33:12,659
is rumored to be Saudi Arabia,
which also uses the kafala system
636
00:33:12,740 --> 00:33:15,619
and has an even worse
human rights record than Qatar.
637
00:33:15,699 --> 00:33:19,899
There is no reason to believe
that FIFA will ever do the right thing.
638
00:33:19,980 --> 00:33:24,619
But I would love it if it could,
for just once in its shitty history,
639
00:33:24,699 --> 00:33:29,219
find a way to hold itself to the lofty
ideals that it has the gall to profess.
640
00:33:29,780 --> 00:33:32,699
I would love that as much
as I love the World Cup itself,
641
00:33:32,780 --> 00:33:34,139
and maybe, just maybe,
642
00:33:34,219 --> 00:33:37,379
even as much as David Beckham
loves a taco.
643
00:33:38,340 --> 00:33:40,859
Because that would be
perfection for me.
644
00:33:41,740 --> 00:33:42,780
And now, this!
645
00:33:43,459 --> 00:33:44,540
And Now
646
00:33:44,859 --> 00:33:47,580
People on TV
Interrogate the Important Question:
647
00:33:48,060 --> 00:33:50,659
Do You Say Pecan or Pecan?
648
00:33:51,260 --> 00:33:54,139
- Talk about pecan and pecan.
- What do you say?
649
00:33:54,459 --> 00:33:56,459
It's pecan.
650
00:33:56,780 --> 00:34:00,020
- I'll trust the Southerner on this one.
- It's pecan. You say pecan?
651
00:34:00,340 --> 00:34:02,139
- You don't like pecan pie?
- I don't like pecan pie.
652
00:34:02,459 --> 00:34:04,619
- It's pecan.
- It's a pecan.
653
00:34:04,980 --> 00:34:08,139
- I love the Publix pecan Danish.
- I'm glad you say pecan.
654
00:34:08,219 --> 00:34:10,420
- I do, too.
- It's not a pecan?
655
00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:12,500
- We have toasted pecans here.
- Toasted pecans.
656
00:34:12,580 --> 00:34:14,299
- Pecan or pecan?
- It's pecan.
657
00:34:15,139 --> 00:34:16,619
- I say pecans.
- Pecan.
658
00:34:17,219 --> 00:34:18,420
Okay, fine.
659
00:34:18,500 --> 00:34:20,619
- You're also going to add one ounce
- It's pecan!
660
00:34:20,699 --> 00:34:22,779
- One ounce of simple syrup.
- Pecan!
661
00:34:23,540 --> 00:34:25,580
- You say pecan?
- I say pecan.
662
00:34:26,179 --> 00:34:28,219
- Of course.
- I don't know what to say.
663
00:34:28,659 --> 00:34:30,339
- Pecan or pecan?
- It's a pecan.
664
00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:32,860
Who wants to eat
something called a pecan?
665
00:34:33,179 --> 00:34:36,380
- Pecan or pecan?
- It's not a urinary device.
666
00:34:36,460 --> 00:34:40,179
- Are they pecans or pecans?
- They're both delicious. I don't care.
667
00:34:40,259 --> 00:34:42,779
Do you say pecan or pecan?
Praline or praline?
668
00:34:42,860 --> 00:34:45,380
I say thanks so much.
One of our good friends, Mel B
669
00:34:48,619 --> 00:34:49,819
Moving on.
670
00:34:49,900 --> 00:34:52,580
Before we go,
this is our final show of the year,
671
00:34:52,659 --> 00:34:55,060
and frankly,
it has been a turbulent one,
672
00:34:55,139 --> 00:34:59,060
from Britain having its shortest and
weirdest-serving prime minister ever,
673
00:34:59,139 --> 00:35:02,500
to Roe v. Wade being overturned,
to Russia's war in Ukraine,
674
00:35:02,580 --> 00:35:05,020
which, lest we forget,
began back in February,
675
00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:07,500
with the haunting sound
of air-raid sirens,
676
00:35:07,580 --> 00:35:10,179
and was covered on CNN
with this jarring moment.
677
00:35:10,900 --> 00:35:13,659
Air Raid Sirens Riding Out
in Ukraine's Capital.
678
00:35:19,020 --> 00:35:23,699
And a little bit of chicken fried,
cold beer on a Friday night.
679
00:35:24,779 --> 00:35:28,819
A pair of jeans that fit just right
and the radio up.
680
00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:31,420
Get five boneless wings for $1
with any handcrafted burger.
681
00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:32,619
Only at Applebee's.
682
00:35:33,060 --> 00:35:36,020
Yeah. The point is,
it's been a very weird year.
683
00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:38,940
Thankfully, though,
we did manage to have some fun.
684
00:35:39,020 --> 00:35:41,540
We produced a Subway-sandwich
Korean drama,
685
00:35:41,619 --> 00:35:45,020
we sent a polar bear to bet on an ice
melting contest in Alaska,
686
00:35:45,380 --> 00:35:48,779
we blackmailed Congress
with information that we still have,
687
00:35:48,860 --> 00:35:51,940
and Nick Offerman blew up a trash can
to make a point about elections.
688
00:35:52,020 --> 00:35:53,659
But perhaps our weirdest moment
689
00:35:53,739 --> 00:35:56,100
came when we discussed
AI image generators.
690
00:35:56,179 --> 00:35:57,980
Because you may remember,
we learned that people
691
00:35:58,060 --> 00:36:01,500
had made a surprisingly large number
of AI-generated images of me,
692
00:36:01,860 --> 00:36:05,219
with this generator alone
featuring around 500 of them.
693
00:36:05,299 --> 00:36:07,460
We then stumbled
on a whole sequence of images
694
00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:11,179
that involved me falling in love
with a cabbage and marrying it,
695
00:36:11,259 --> 00:36:13,299
something that we then
re-created in person,
696
00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:16,540
with Steve Buscemi presiding
as the wedding officiant.
697
00:36:16,619 --> 00:36:19,900
Yeah, I married a cabbage this year,
and it was a beautiful day.
698
00:36:20,900 --> 00:36:23,900
I have a quick update. Because
recently we checked that generator,
699
00:36:23,980 --> 00:36:26,139
to see if more images
had been made of me,
700
00:36:26,219 --> 00:36:28,860
and it turns out
that they very much had.
701
00:36:28,940 --> 00:36:34,779
A search for my name on there
currently returns over 15,000 results.
702
00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:37,139
And let me be very clear:
this has to stop.
703
00:36:38,060 --> 00:36:39,819
This shit is getting out of hand.
704
00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:43,500
Some users were apparently continuing
to speculate on my romantic exploits,
705
00:36:43,580 --> 00:36:44,699
with images like
706
00:36:44,779 --> 00:36:48,139
"John Oliver has tired of cabbage,
is now dating a carrot,"
707
00:36:48,659 --> 00:36:51,940
while others have moved on, like
with this one starting with the prompt,
708
00:36:52,020 --> 00:36:55,060
"two raccoons conducting
an interview of John Oliver",
709
00:36:55,139 --> 00:36:56,779
which produced this result.
710
00:36:57,139 --> 00:37:00,699
And kudos for going with
my point of view in that situation.
711
00:37:01,420 --> 00:37:04,380
But one new sequence of images
in particular caught our eye,
712
00:37:04,460 --> 00:37:06,980
because it seemed to be setting
a new story in motion.
713
00:37:07,060 --> 00:37:08,580
It begins with this prompt:
714
00:37:08,659 --> 00:37:12,420
"John Oliver unicycling towards
a very steep mountainous hill".
715
00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:15,299
Which prompted this almost
serene set of images.
716
00:37:15,380 --> 00:37:18,139
However, there is a development,
because the next image is,
717
00:37:18,219 --> 00:37:20,940
"While unicycling up a very steep
mountainous hill,
718
00:37:21,020 --> 00:37:23,179
John Oliver
realizes he can't even unicycle,
719
00:37:23,259 --> 00:37:26,420
doesn't ever want to,
and not only is he afraid of heights,
720
00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:28,980
he literally has a crippling
fear of unicycles.
721
00:37:29,060 --> 00:37:32,179
As he tumbles down the hill in agony,
he says his trademark catchphrase,
722
00:37:32,259 --> 00:37:33,900
'Why do unicycles exist!?'"
723
00:37:34,259 --> 00:37:37,259
Which, to be fair, is a thing
that I do say all the time!
724
00:37:37,900 --> 00:37:41,619
There are then a few images of me,
post-unicycle-accident,
725
00:37:41,699 --> 00:37:44,819
in the hospital, until finally,
they typed in the prompt,
726
00:37:44,900 --> 00:37:46,819
"After recovering
from his unicycle accident,
727
00:37:46,900 --> 00:37:49,739
John Oliver returns to his show
where he does one of those wild
728
00:37:49,819 --> 00:37:52,020
'John Oliver has HBO money' stunts,
729
00:37:52,100 --> 00:37:55,179
like I guess he ties together
100 unicycles in pairs of two
730
00:37:55,259 --> 00:37:57,299
because 'that's what nature
intended' or something,
731
00:37:57,380 --> 00:37:59,619
and then there are
like 50 clowns on stage
732
00:37:59,699 --> 00:38:01,940
riding the dangerous
John Oliver bi-unicycles
733
00:38:02,020 --> 00:38:04,819
and then John is like 'that's our show,
see you next week.'"
734
00:38:05,179 --> 00:38:09,060
And picture in your mind right now
what a spectacular image
735
00:38:09,460 --> 00:38:12,060
would be generated
by a description like that.
736
00:38:12,139 --> 00:38:13,619
Do you have that image
in your mind?
737
00:38:14,339 --> 00:38:17,219
Good. Because this is the image
the AI produced.
738
00:38:18,460 --> 00:38:19,500
Very cleverly,
739
00:38:20,060 --> 00:38:24,179
focusing on the "see you next week"
part of that prompt.
740
00:38:24,259 --> 00:38:25,900
Look how happy I look there!
741
00:38:27,179 --> 00:38:28,460
And it is such a shame.
742
00:38:28,980 --> 00:38:33,339
The concept of chaotic clowns wobbling
around dangerously on unicycles
743
00:38:33,420 --> 00:38:37,940
felt like a pretty decent metaphor
for the year that we all went through.
744
00:38:38,420 --> 00:38:40,739
It's messy, idiotic,
a little bit scary,
745
00:38:41,060 --> 00:38:44,380
and it feels like someone
didn't fully think it all through.
746
00:38:44,460 --> 00:38:47,900
And it's frustrating not being able
to see that image for ourselves.
747
00:38:48,779 --> 00:38:50,819
Is something
that someone might say,
748
00:38:51,259 --> 00:38:54,259
if they didn't have access
to HBO production budgets.
749
00:38:54,339 --> 00:38:57,420
So, with that said, to close out
our season, here it is!
750
00:38:58,460 --> 00:39:01,699
The physical manifestation
of the last year!
751
00:39:02,219 --> 00:39:05,179
Look at all these fucking clowns!
752
00:39:05,819 --> 00:39:06,860
Look at them!
753
00:39:08,739 --> 00:39:11,699
Look at this utter atrocity!
754
00:39:15,299 --> 00:39:17,940
Thank you so much for watching
our show this year!
755
00:39:18,339 --> 00:39:19,980
We really appreciate it!
756
00:39:20,060 --> 00:39:22,100
Thanks to our staff
Stop honking!
757
00:39:22,460 --> 00:39:24,699
Thanks to our staff
for working so hard.
758
00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:27,819
We will be back next year.
I don't like this at all!
759
00:39:28,139 --> 00:39:31,339
We'll be back next February.
Please stay safe until then.
760
00:39:31,420 --> 00:39:34,500
Say it with me:
why do unicycles exist?
761
00:39:34,980 --> 00:39:37,659
Classic phrase!
See you next year, good night!
67967
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