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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:08,887 --> 00:00:10,512
- Morning, Dad.
- Good morning.
2
00:00:10,723 --> 00:00:13,559
Guess what I made.
Like old times, huh?
3
00:00:13,810 --> 00:00:15,353
You. Me. Toast.
4
00:00:15,604 --> 00:00:17,681
Yeah, we were inseparable.
5
00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:20,611
So, darling, you wait here,
6
00:00:20,819 --> 00:00:22,943
I'll go butter this
up for you real nice.
7
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:25,232
Give me 15 minutes.
8
00:00:26,285 --> 00:00:28,492
I'm sorry, Dad,
I cannot be late for work.
9
00:00:28,704 --> 00:00:30,116
I'm new there, remember?
10
00:00:30,373 --> 00:00:35,167
Oh, Miss Big-Deal-Legal-Secretary,
works in Manhattan now.
11
00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:38,050
You know what toast costs
over there now? Ten dollars.
12
00:00:39,093 --> 00:00:41,335
And if you don't tip, they spit in it.
13
00:00:42,431 --> 00:00:43,546
Then I'll tip.
14
00:00:43,766 --> 00:00:45,558
I'm just gonna have some coffee.
15
00:00:45,810 --> 00:00:47,684
- Hey, slugger, check it out.
- What's that?
16
00:00:47,938 --> 00:00:50,476
It's your new mitt. I broke it in
for the softball game tonight.
17
00:00:50,691 --> 00:00:52,103
Actually, it happened by accident.
18
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,196
I fell asleep on it.
19
00:00:55,906 --> 00:00:57,698
Honey, you're gonna kill me,
I can't make it.
20
00:00:57,909 --> 00:00:59,570
My boss has a really big trial
coming up,
21
00:00:59,786 --> 00:01:01,365
and he wants me
to stay late tonight.
22
00:01:01,622 --> 00:01:02,742
No, we need you at the game.
23
00:01:02,957 --> 00:01:05,414
Come on, none of the guys
can curse as good as you.
24
00:01:05,627 --> 00:01:06,956
Honey, I know.
25
00:01:07,171 --> 00:01:10,506
But I will be at next week's game,
with a lot of new mother references.
26
00:01:10,717 --> 00:01:13,505
Really hurtful, uncalled-for stuff,
all right?
27
00:01:14,097 --> 00:01:16,090
- Okay.
- All right. Bye.
28
00:01:16,308 --> 00:01:18,432
Bye, Daddy. Dad?
29
00:01:18,853 --> 00:01:22,021
Oh, sorry. I was just remembering
a little girl with pigtails
30
00:01:22,232 --> 00:01:24,190
and braces on her teeth, telling me,
31
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"I made the bestest toast ever."
32
00:01:25,945 --> 00:01:28,864
All right, just give me the freaking
toast. Okay? Thank you. Bye.
33
00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:46,346
Will you forget about it? It's over.
34
00:01:46,556 --> 00:01:48,845
Man, I thought if there was one team
we'd beat this year,
35
00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:50,933
it'd be Crabtree & Evelyn.
36
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,723
Well, this guy didn't
help matters much.
37
00:01:53,940 --> 00:01:56,147
Hey, what-?
What do you guys want from me?
38
00:01:56,402 --> 00:02:00,353
You know, I'm allergic to dirt,
grass, bases and Gatorade.
39
00:02:00,574 --> 00:02:03,279
You guys are lucky I'm alive.
40
00:02:03,578 --> 00:02:05,867
Look, look, let's just all agree
we all sucked tonight.
41
00:02:06,123 --> 00:02:09,208
- Hey, I'm in.
- Yeah, we'll kick some ass next week.
42
00:02:09,419 --> 00:02:10,961
Who we playing, Moose?
43
00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:15,590
- City Tech.
- Who's that?
44
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:16,923
Female security guards.
45
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:21,548
Hey, Doug.
46
00:02:21,768 --> 00:02:24,474
Some guy in a really nice car
just pulled into your driveway.
47
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:27,103
- Yeah, it's called a U-turn.
- No, I don't think so.
48
00:02:27,317 --> 00:02:29,773
- Your wife's getting out.
- Really?
49
00:02:30,029 --> 00:02:32,355
Oh, that's a Jaguar
she's stepping out of, my friend.
50
00:02:32,615 --> 00:02:34,443
XJ8. Top of the line.
51
00:02:34,660 --> 00:02:37,068
Yeah, I test-drove
one of those babies.
52
00:02:37,330 --> 00:02:39,869
And yet, you went
with the '82 Corolla.
53
00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:45,129
Hey, Doug, it's pretty damn nice of you,
letting Carrie date other guys and all.
54
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,256
Yeah, you're very funny.
Very funny.
55
00:02:47,510 --> 00:02:50,595
All right, come on,
back to your assigned seats. Let's go.
56
00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:55,638
Girl in the clubhouse.
You guys had your cootie shots?
57
00:02:55,896 --> 00:02:57,521
- Yeah, right.
- Hi. How was the game?
58
00:02:57,731 --> 00:02:59,440
Oh, everyone sucked, not just me.
59
00:02:59,692 --> 00:03:00,688
Good for you, Spence.
60
00:03:01,653 --> 00:03:03,196
So did you have a good day?
61
00:03:03,405 --> 00:03:06,193
Honey, great day.
62
00:03:06,409 --> 00:03:09,826
What, did you get some kind of, like,
a lift home or something?
63
00:03:10,081 --> 00:03:12,537
Yeah, from Evan, my boss.
In a Jaguar.
64
00:03:12,751 --> 00:03:14,709
Honey, you should get me
one of those.
65
00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:17,791
I'll see you upstairs. Bye, guys.
66
00:03:18,008 --> 00:03:19,835
- See you later, Carrie.
- All right.
67
00:03:25,768 --> 00:03:30,738
Well, sounds like she's got
a nice boss, you know?
68
00:03:30,774 --> 00:03:34,476
That's a good thing,
because a lot of bosses, not nice.
69
00:03:34,696 --> 00:03:37,781
You know, a lot of
not-nice bosses out there.
70
00:03:38,034 --> 00:03:41,238
I say given the choice between
not nice, nice, it's always better--
71
00:03:41,497 --> 00:03:43,537
Stop the staring!
72
00:03:50,258 --> 00:03:51,503
- Hey.
- Hey, help me out.
73
00:03:51,718 --> 00:03:53,718
I have to be in court with Evan.
What do you think?
74
00:03:53,721 --> 00:03:55,513
This or this?
75
00:03:55,890 --> 00:03:57,468
I like them both.
76
00:03:57,684 --> 00:03:59,642
They both suck.
77
00:04:00,646 --> 00:04:03,898
Honey, the women in Manhattan dress
so nice, I look like I'm from Arkansas.
78
00:04:05,569 --> 00:04:07,194
Oh, guess what.
79
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:10,983
There's this really famous cello player
from China, Li Fong something.
80
00:04:11,244 --> 00:04:13,533
Anyway, he's throwing a big concert
next week in the city,
81
00:04:13,747 --> 00:04:18,077
and the firm got all these tickets,
and Evan gave his to me.
82
00:04:18,336 --> 00:04:20,744
So if you play your cards right,
I'll let you go with me.
83
00:04:21,006 --> 00:04:23,130
There's always room for cello.
84
00:04:26,263 --> 00:04:28,636
You call him Evan, huh?
85
00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:31,388
Your boss. You just call him Evan?
86
00:04:31,603 --> 00:04:32,802
Well, that's his name.
87
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,980
No, no, I know, I know. I mean...
88
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,559
It's just that, you know,
my boss has been there six years,
89
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,352
and it's still "Supervisor O'Boyle."
90
00:04:42,534 --> 00:04:46,747
So you just walk around all day
calling each other Evan.
91
00:04:47,165 --> 00:04:50,535
Well, he doesn't call me Evan.
We'd get a little confused.
92
00:04:51,045 --> 00:04:52,789
I know, I know, I know.
I just- You know.
93
00:04:53,006 --> 00:04:54,715
Anyway, sounds like
a great guy, right?
94
00:04:54,925 --> 00:04:56,717
I mean, partner in
a big New York law firm,
95
00:04:56,928 --> 00:04:59,005
giving his secretary free tickets,
96
00:04:59,223 --> 00:05:03,221
driving her all the way home to Queens
in his fancy Jaguar.
97
00:05:03,478 --> 00:05:05,056
You don't see a lot of that.
98
00:05:05,481 --> 00:05:06,856
Honey, if he didn't drive me home,
99
00:05:07,066 --> 00:05:09,984
how else would we have sex
in his car?
100
00:05:13,908 --> 00:05:14,940
That's not funny.
101
00:05:16,370 --> 00:05:18,162
Come on, you're being stupid.
102
00:05:18,372 --> 00:05:20,330
He's just being a nice guy.
103
00:05:20,542 --> 00:05:22,998
Oh, so he's just being nice, then.
104
00:05:23,212 --> 00:05:25,668
Did he give the cleaning guy
a ride home too?
105
00:05:26,842 --> 00:05:28,123
- No.
- No.
106
00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:31,880
So, now, is he nice or not nice?
I'm a little confused here.
107
00:05:32,724 --> 00:05:35,014
He lives on the Island,
we're on his way.
108
00:05:35,228 --> 00:05:37,435
- What, you don't trust me?
- Of course I trust you.
109
00:05:37,647 --> 00:05:41,860
It's just, you don't really know
this Evan guy, or how he operates.
110
00:05:42,112 --> 00:05:43,487
"Oh, Miss Heffernan,
111
00:05:43,697 --> 00:05:46,615
can you work late with me tonight
on this big legal case?
112
00:05:46,826 --> 00:05:49,496
I spilled Liquid Paper
all over your blouse.
113
00:05:49,705 --> 00:05:54,534
Why don't you shimmy it off,
and I'll wash it."
114
00:05:58,341 --> 00:05:59,884
That's a really lame fantasy.
115
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,763
You gotta start watching
more porno.
116
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,480
- You know what I mean.
- What? Come on, honey.
117
00:06:05,684 --> 00:06:07,476
He's just being a nice guy.
118
00:06:07,686 --> 00:06:10,357
Now, listen, I have a really great job,
and it's going well.
119
00:06:10,565 --> 00:06:12,393
And I want you to be happy for me,
all right?
120
00:06:13,444 --> 00:06:15,188
All right. All right.
You know, I'm sorry.
121
00:06:15,447 --> 00:06:17,606
It's okay. It's all right.
122
00:06:17,825 --> 00:06:21,195
I'm gonna go wash up.
I'll meet you in bed, okay, Evan?
123
00:06:36,641 --> 00:06:38,219
Excuse me.
124
00:06:41,731 --> 00:06:44,935
Hey. Hi. I'm trying to find
Carrie Heffernan.
125
00:06:45,194 --> 00:06:46,854
Oh, she's in Mr Lazar's office.
126
00:06:47,446 --> 00:06:48,941
I thought everyone called him Evan.
127
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:05,970
Doug!
Honey, what are you doing here?
128
00:07:06,179 --> 00:07:08,219
I felt bad about being such an idiot
last night.
129
00:07:08,432 --> 00:07:10,924
I thought I'd drive in and see
if you wanna have some lunch.
130
00:07:11,186 --> 00:07:13,938
Oh, my God, that is so sweet.
Of course I do.
131
00:07:14,148 --> 00:07:16,640
Oh, look, honey! This is my desk.
132
00:07:16,901 --> 00:07:18,016
It's pretty swanky, huh?
133
00:07:18,654 --> 00:07:21,490
I like it. Oh, look at this.
I even got you something for it.
134
00:07:22,325 --> 00:07:24,651
"World's Greatest Golfer."
135
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,320
That's all they had in the gift shop
downstairs.
136
00:07:27,582 --> 00:07:29,659
No, no, no, it's good.
Now I have a goal, right?
137
00:07:30,043 --> 00:07:31,586
Honey, this is so sweet of you.
138
00:07:31,796 --> 00:07:33,456
I'll make a quick copy,
then we can go.
139
00:07:33,715 --> 00:07:36,289
- All right, I'll grab the elevator.
- Okay, honey.
140
00:07:52,531 --> 00:07:53,942
Hey.
141
00:07:54,325 --> 00:07:55,736
Hello.
142
00:07:56,870 --> 00:08:00,287
I couldn't help noticing that woman
in there in your office with you.
143
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,828
Is she your assistant?
144
00:08:02,043 --> 00:08:04,369
- Yes. Yes, she is.
- Yeah.
145
00:08:04,839 --> 00:08:06,915
She's quite a looker.
146
00:08:07,968 --> 00:08:10,091
I suppose, yeah.
147
00:08:10,888 --> 00:08:12,632
- She married?
- Yes.
148
00:08:12,849 --> 00:08:14,889
I hate that! Hate it.
149
00:08:15,102 --> 00:08:16,422
But you know what?
A guy like you,
150
00:08:16,604 --> 00:08:19,356
you probably don't even worry
about that kind of thing, huh?
151
00:08:19,816 --> 00:08:22,142
- So, what are you getting at?
- I'm just saying, you know,
152
00:08:22,361 --> 00:08:25,032
working with her every day,
you gotta be thinking about a little:
153
00:08:25,198 --> 00:08:27,156
Hello, Montana!
154
00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:29,150
- Yeah!
- Now, now, now, listen.
155
00:08:29,329 --> 00:08:31,156
No, come on, truth now.
You gonna go for it?
156
00:08:31,373 --> 00:08:33,912
You're gonna go for it, my man!
Come on.
157
00:08:34,168 --> 00:08:35,208
All right, that is enough!
158
00:08:35,378 --> 00:08:37,258
That woman is a fine employee
and a good person.
159
00:08:37,464 --> 00:08:39,837
She deserves better
than to be objectified and leered at
160
00:08:40,051 --> 00:08:41,676
by someone like you.
161
00:08:43,848 --> 00:08:46,636
I just wish her husband was here
to punch your face in.
162
00:08:58,659 --> 00:09:00,450
Moose.
163
00:09:02,288 --> 00:09:03,783
Moose.
164
00:09:04,792 --> 00:09:06,583
I'm hungry.
165
00:09:07,837 --> 00:09:10,293
Who am I, your mother?
Go inside and make a sandwich.
166
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,542
It's too far.
167
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:17,472
I wish the TV were made of cheese.
168
00:09:18,226 --> 00:09:19,804
You know, that's actually possible.
169
00:09:20,061 --> 00:09:21,473
- Get out of here.
- It is.
170
00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:24,400
I mean, you couldn't make it
out of Brie.
171
00:09:25,151 --> 00:09:26,350
But, like, a harder cheese,
172
00:09:26,570 --> 00:09:29,525
like a Stilton
or an aged Gorgonzola.
173
00:09:29,741 --> 00:09:31,650
Absolutely.
174
00:09:32,911 --> 00:09:35,070
Could you make a VCR
out of crackers?
175
00:09:35,331 --> 00:09:36,956
For God's sake,
you're missing the point.
176
00:09:37,167 --> 00:09:39,493
If you went to the trouble
of making a TV out of cheese,
177
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:41,512
you'd have to make a commitment
not to eat it.
178
00:09:41,756 --> 00:09:45,173
Then why would you make it
out of cheese in the first place?
179
00:09:46,471 --> 00:09:48,760
I can't talk to you.
180
00:09:49,558 --> 00:09:50,673
What do you think, Deac?
181
00:09:50,893 --> 00:09:55,936
I think, why am I here
instead of with my wife and child?
182
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,397
And here comes the Jag,
right on schedule.
183
00:10:00,614 --> 00:10:02,738
Oh, looks like Evan got it detailed.
184
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,445
All right. Come on, guys.
185
00:10:04,703 --> 00:10:07,907
Did he get a haircut? I like it.
186
00:10:08,124 --> 00:10:10,532
I'm not sure.
I think he just put something in it.
187
00:10:10,794 --> 00:10:13,879
- I think he's using mousse, Moose.
- All right, you know what? It's agreed.
188
00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:16,498
He's got a beautiful car
and a fine head of hair, all right?
189
00:10:16,718 --> 00:10:18,129
Get away from the window, will you?
190
00:10:18,512 --> 00:10:21,182
Why do you have to spoil
the one new thing in our life?
191
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,926
Yeah, man, you've been
in a funky mood all night.
192
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:27,482
If you're still worried about Carrie
and her boss, just talk to her about it.
193
00:10:27,519 --> 00:10:28,811
I'm not worried about that.
194
00:10:29,068 --> 00:10:30,708
I met Evan today,
and trust me, he's fine.
195
00:10:31,070 --> 00:10:32,779
- How do you know?
- I know.
196
00:10:32,989 --> 00:10:37,202
I practically begged him
to have sex with her, and nothing.
197
00:10:37,579 --> 00:10:38,954
What are you all wound up about?
198
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,950
I don't know. I don't know.
199
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,332
- Hey, guys. Hi!
- Hey. Hi!
200
00:10:43,587 --> 00:10:45,547
Honey, don't forget,
cello concert tomorrow night.
201
00:10:45,756 --> 00:10:48,082
- You excited?
- Oh, I am. I--
202
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,469
- I'll see you upstairs.
- Love you.
203
00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:51,799
- Bye, guys.
- Okay. Bye-bye.
204
00:10:52,014 --> 00:10:54,221
What is wrong with me?
205
00:10:54,434 --> 00:10:55,810
I should be happy, you know?
206
00:10:56,019 --> 00:10:59,389
I mean, Carrie's got a great new job,
her boss is not hitting on her,
207
00:10:59,607 --> 00:11:01,565
but still there is something
that's bothering me,
208
00:11:01,777 --> 00:11:03,569
and I can't figure out what it is.
209
00:11:03,821 --> 00:11:05,779
Perhaps it's this:
210
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,999
Perhaps you wish
that your original suspicions
211
00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:09,365
had been confirmed.
212
00:11:09,704 --> 00:11:12,196
If this Evan was just some creep
hitting on your wife,
213
00:11:12,416 --> 00:11:13,994
you could've done something
about that.
214
00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:18,540
But now what you're faced with
is a more complex problem.
215
00:11:19,008 --> 00:11:22,841
You're realizing that Carrie
is immersed in a seductive world
216
00:11:23,054 --> 00:11:24,633
full of bright, dynamic people,
217
00:11:24,848 --> 00:11:28,717
a world you can't
possibly compete with.
218
00:11:29,104 --> 00:11:32,770
And that frightens the hell
out of you.
219
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,812
Yeah, that's it.
220
00:11:40,452 --> 00:11:41,828
Li Fong...
221
00:11:48,045 --> 00:11:51,047
Honey, honey.
How do you pronounce X-I-A-U-A?
222
00:11:51,258 --> 00:11:53,138
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to figure out
223
00:11:53,344 --> 00:11:56,928
how to say this guy's name so I don't
sound like such a mook at the concert.
224
00:11:57,140 --> 00:12:00,807
"Hey, this guy on the cello's
pretty good over here. " You know?
225
00:12:01,438 --> 00:12:05,104
Before you hurt yourself there,
I wanted to talk to you about that.
226
00:12:05,318 --> 00:12:07,394
I'm thinking, you know,
227
00:12:07,612 --> 00:12:10,448
maybe we need to take a pass
on this cello thing.
228
00:12:10,658 --> 00:12:12,616
What? What are you talking about?
229
00:12:12,827 --> 00:12:14,951
Well, for starters,
we'll be missing a softball game.
230
00:12:15,164 --> 00:12:17,537
- So it's one game, hon.
- Plus the one you already missed.
231
00:12:17,751 --> 00:12:20,159
I mean, people on the team,
they're starting to grumble.
232
00:12:20,379 --> 00:12:24,592
There's a whole lot of internal politics
I've been shielding you from.
233
00:12:25,552 --> 00:12:28,424
All right, honey, what is your problem?
Are you still on the Evan thing?
234
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,675
No, it's not about Evan.
235
00:12:30,893 --> 00:12:32,008
It's about you, you know?
236
00:12:32,228 --> 00:12:34,636
Since you got this new job,
I think it's gone to your head.
237
00:12:34,898 --> 00:12:37,354
- What? Shut up.
- Come on, think about it.
238
00:12:37,568 --> 00:12:40,404
First, you didn't want to eat
your father's toast.
239
00:12:42,032 --> 00:12:44,072
Right? Then your clothes
aren't good enough for you.
240
00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:46,077
Now it's this weird obsession
with the cello.
241
00:12:46,288 --> 00:12:47,948
I mean, what's next, bottled water?
242
00:12:48,207 --> 00:12:49,915
Tea?
243
00:12:50,335 --> 00:12:51,415
Okay, you know what, honey?
244
00:12:51,586 --> 00:12:53,164
You gotta spend less time
in the garage.
245
00:12:53,380 --> 00:12:55,254
Between the fumes
and those friends of yours,
246
00:12:55,466 --> 00:12:57,958
you're losing brain cells.
247
00:12:58,220 --> 00:12:59,845
Come on.
We both know what this is about.
248
00:13:00,055 --> 00:13:02,381
You're trying to impress
your little fancy friends at work.
249
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,849
"Oh, I saw a guy play the cello.
Accept me as one of your own."
250
00:13:08,066 --> 00:13:10,522
Maybe I like listening to cello music,
all right?
251
00:13:10,736 --> 00:13:12,361
- You ever think of that?
- Yeah, okay.
252
00:13:12,572 --> 00:13:15,360
- What's your favourite cello song?
- Okay, let me think.
253
00:13:15,576 --> 00:13:17,569
How about "Bite Me"?
254
00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:20,657
That is so not a song.
255
00:13:20,916 --> 00:13:22,660
Well, you are being such an idiot.
256
00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:24,876
At least I'm an idiot
who fulfils his commitment
257
00:13:25,088 --> 00:13:27,580
to the Queens County Level C
co-ed slow-pitch softball league.
258
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,710
And now we're playing softball
tomorrow night.
259
00:13:29,969 --> 00:13:32,128
No, you will be playing softball
tomorrow.
260
00:13:32,347 --> 00:13:33,842
I will be doing something I enjoy,
261
00:13:34,058 --> 00:13:37,226
which is listening to the music
of the world's greatest cellist,
262
00:13:37,479 --> 00:13:40,185
Li Fong...
263
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,894
I don't know!
264
00:13:42,986 --> 00:13:47,484
Yeah, well, say it, don't spray it.
265
00:14:02,011 --> 00:14:03,506
How you doing?
266
00:14:06,684 --> 00:14:07,764
What's that you're wearing?
267
00:14:11,023 --> 00:14:12,054
Softball uniform.
268
00:14:13,735 --> 00:14:15,775
Just more comfortable?
269
00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:19,188
Playing softball.
270
00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:21,194
Oh, that worked out well.
271
00:14:22,621 --> 00:14:24,032
Where's Carrie?
272
00:14:24,248 --> 00:14:26,740
She went to a cello concert.
273
00:14:27,002 --> 00:14:29,078
Oh, fancy.
274
00:14:31,424 --> 00:14:33,583
Listen, Arthur,
can I ask you a question?
275
00:14:34,428 --> 00:14:36,006
Sure.
276
00:14:36,264 --> 00:14:37,842
All right, now be honest.
277
00:14:38,517 --> 00:14:40,426
When I first married Carrie,
278
00:14:40,644 --> 00:14:44,478
was there a small part of you
that felt that maybe, I don't know,
279
00:14:44,691 --> 00:14:47,064
that I wasn't good enough for her?
280
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:50,524
Hey, it was a wedding.
I'd had a few drinks.
281
00:14:50,741 --> 00:14:53,826
When I said those things, I had no
idea I was speaking to your mother.
282
00:14:54,037 --> 00:14:55,864
- No, I know, I just-
- She was nodding.
283
00:14:56,081 --> 00:14:57,659
Agreeing with me, for God's sakes!
284
00:14:57,875 --> 00:14:59,833
How could I know?
285
00:15:01,505 --> 00:15:03,794
Arthur, I'm just...
286
00:15:04,008 --> 00:15:05,289
Really? My mother?
287
00:15:05,552 --> 00:15:07,011
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
288
00:15:07,221 --> 00:15:08,929
Bosomy woman, right?
289
00:15:32,295 --> 00:15:34,003
Excuse me. I'm down there.
290
00:15:45,479 --> 00:15:47,935
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
291
00:15:48,566 --> 00:15:51,901
Car, listen, I've been doing
a lot of thinking, and you know what?
292
00:15:52,112 --> 00:15:55,031
If this is something you wanna try,
I'm with you.
293
00:15:55,283 --> 00:15:56,528
Really? You really mean that?
294
00:15:56,785 --> 00:16:00,123
I do, I do. If we like it, we like it.
If we don't, we don't.
295
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:01,701
I'm betting we will.
296
00:16:03,502 --> 00:16:06,172
Well, okay.
297
00:16:06,339 --> 00:16:07,917
Thank you.
298
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:11,882
Oh, here we go.
299
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:15,798
Okay, all right. Stop.
300
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,452
Should I get the car?
301
00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:38,839
No.
302
00:16:40,550 --> 00:16:43,885
Car, if we leave now, we can still
make it by the third inning. Come on.
303
00:16:44,138 --> 00:16:46,048
Doug, I don't wanna leave.
304
00:16:46,558 --> 00:16:49,132
Come on,
you can't possibly be liking this.
305
00:16:51,606 --> 00:16:54,359
You can't possibly be liking this.
Who are you kidding?
306
00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:55,939
Oh, yes, I am.
307
00:16:56,196 --> 00:16:59,400
Oh, yeah. This? Oh, this is great.
308
00:17:02,329 --> 00:17:05,414
Oh, this is so wonderful.
309
00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:07,784
Come on.
310
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:12,626
I swear to God, I will smack you.
311
00:17:16,722 --> 00:17:20,009
Will you stop?
You're embarrassing me.
312
00:17:20,269 --> 00:17:22,143
I'm embarrassing you?
I'm embarrassing you?
313
00:17:22,355 --> 00:17:25,807
You know what?
You're embarrassing me.
314
00:17:26,068 --> 00:17:27,443
Are you insane?
315
00:17:27,695 --> 00:17:29,375
Come on.
You can't possibly be liking this.
316
00:17:29,572 --> 00:17:32,111
Tell me, what is so great about this?
What is so great about it?
317
00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:34,028
Shut up.
318
00:17:47,721 --> 00:17:50,213
I'm sorry.
319
00:17:51,684 --> 00:17:54,390
Carrie, I'm sorry.
320
00:17:55,105 --> 00:17:57,431
I love you.
321
00:18:00,321 --> 00:18:06,859
You can stay or you can leave,
I don't care, but just shut up.
322
00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:32,354
Encore! Encore!
323
00:19:43,538 --> 00:19:45,745
Doug, are you coming, or what?
324
00:19:45,958 --> 00:19:47,452
I don't wanna come.
325
00:19:47,710 --> 00:19:51,294
I wanna sit here and keep thinking
about what an idiot I've been.
326
00:19:51,548 --> 00:19:53,188
Well, then I'd give you
another few hours,
327
00:19:53,384 --> 00:19:55,258
but they're closing
the parking garage.
328
00:19:56,722 --> 00:19:59,558
So, what happened to you
tonight, Doug?
329
00:19:59,767 --> 00:20:01,926
What made you lose your mind?
330
00:20:04,232 --> 00:20:06,604
You've been so wrapped up
in this new job of yours,
331
00:20:06,818 --> 00:20:09,488
with your great new boss
and these great people
332
00:20:09,697 --> 00:20:11,524
and all this culture stuff.
333
00:20:12,242 --> 00:20:13,762
I don't know, I just got to wondering,
334
00:20:13,952 --> 00:20:16,160
you know, why you'd ever want
to come home to me.
335
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:21,491
- What?
- No, it's just, you know,
336
00:20:21,713 --> 00:20:23,456
you make a good point.
337
00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:27,302
- Thanks.
- Well, what the hell is wrong with you?
338
00:20:27,512 --> 00:20:30,679
You think because I take a job
on the other side of the river
339
00:20:30,891 --> 00:20:32,434
and go to a frigging cello concert,
340
00:20:32,643 --> 00:20:34,601
I'm not gonna want
to be married to you anymore?
341
00:20:34,855 --> 00:20:37,144
No, no, it goes back further
than that.
342
00:20:37,358 --> 00:20:38,817
At our wedding,
when the priest said,
343
00:20:39,027 --> 00:20:41,234
"Do you take this man
to be your lawful wedded husband",
344
00:20:41,447 --> 00:20:42,989
and you said, "Yes",
345
00:20:43,199 --> 00:20:45,869
I gotta be honest,
I thought you settled.
346
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,534
- All right, this is ridiculous.
- It's not ridiculous.
347
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,703
In case you haven't noticed here,
there's a little bit of difference.
348
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,199
You, smart and sexy.
349
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,663
Me, not that smart.
350
00:20:55,882 --> 00:20:58,208
Not that sexy.
351
00:20:58,928 --> 00:21:01,598
Well, if you're so undesirable,
352
00:21:01,806 --> 00:21:04,892
how come I think about you
in the middle of a meeting at work?
353
00:21:05,144 --> 00:21:07,600
And how come
you still make me laugh
354
00:21:07,814 --> 00:21:12,062
after you tell the same dumb joke
for the third time?
355
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,026
And how come I can't sleep
until I know you're lying next to me?
356
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:17,653
Really, you can't?
357
00:21:18,912 --> 00:21:20,490
No.
358
00:21:20,706 --> 00:21:22,829
Then why do you scream
when I touch you?
359
00:21:23,251 --> 00:21:25,458
Because I'm sleeping. I'm startled.
360
00:21:26,797 --> 00:21:28,078
I love you.
361
00:21:29,801 --> 00:21:31,878
I love you too.
362
00:21:35,517 --> 00:21:37,973
- So, what did you think of the concert?
- I liked it.
363
00:21:38,187 --> 00:21:39,730
Get out of here. You did not.
364
00:21:39,939 --> 00:21:43,440
I did too.
It was long, but it was good.
365
00:21:43,778 --> 00:21:45,486
It was long.
366
00:21:45,697 --> 00:21:47,773
God, it was long.
367
00:21:51,955 --> 00:21:53,913
Hey, Bernstein!
368
00:21:54,124 --> 00:21:56,283
Your mother's a ****!
369
00:21:56,544 --> 00:21:58,952
And she likes to **** for $2!
370
00:21:59,214 --> 00:22:02,798
And you pitch like you got
a **** up your ****!
371
00:22:07,767 --> 00:22:09,511
I love you.
28794
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