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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:01,583 [ALEX] You know this is f'ed up right? 2 00:00:01,583 --> 00:00:06,793 [RANDALL] Okay look the hoa wants us to get rid of squatty so that's what we got to do. 3 00:00:06,793 --> 00:00:11,403 Squatty is a local homeless man who sometimes spends his days in vacant houses in the community. 4 00:00:11,403 --> 00:00:15,172 All right one of the houses are for sale and they just don't want anything to happen so 5 00:00:15,172 --> 00:00:16,243 we got to clear him out. 6 00:00:16,243 --> 00:00:20,693 [ALEX] So they're sending us in to clear out some poor homeless guy so their precious property 7 00:00:20,693 --> 00:00:26,913 values don't drop a few thousand dollars oh my god karen now we're gonna have to buy unorganic 8 00:00:26,913 --> 00:00:29,633 caviar it sounds stupid 9 00:00:29,633 --> 00:00:35,473 [RANDALL] It's unfortunate for squatting but unfortunately squatty doesn't live there so 10 00:00:35,473 --> 00:00:36,703 we have to get him out. 11 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:40,263 [ALEX] Well it's inhumane okay who is he even hurting by being there? 12 00:00:40,263 --> 00:00:45,063 [RANDALL] Listen to me we've always been respectful to squatting. 13 00:00:45,063 --> 00:00:46,063 [ALEX] Respectful? 14 00:00:46,063 --> 00:00:48,543 You don't even know his real name, you call him squatty. 15 00:00:48,543 --> 00:00:53,913 Okay I thought it was a toilet. 16 00:00:53,913 --> 00:01:03,263 [RANDALL] There he is. 17 00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:12,643 [ALEX] That's him that's the big threat randall what do you wanna call for backup randa what 18 00:01:12,643 --> 00:01:16,963 are you doing hey listen I'm telling you he's homeless not the hulk 19 00:01:16,963 --> 00:01:18,713 [RANDALL] Hey hey now now. 20 00:01:18,713 --> 00:01:21,813 [ALEX] You're being ridiculous okay uh oh i got it. 21 00:01:21,813 --> 00:01:23,393 [RANDALL] Alex hey alex 22 00:01:23,393 --> 00:01:32,873 [ALEX] Um squatty alex look i know this sucks okay but the hoa sent us over here to kick 23 00:01:32,873 --> 00:01:40,332 you out look I'll be the first to say i think it's some [__] okay look at you you're clearly 24 00:01:40,332 --> 00:01:47,373 not hurting anybody except for their precious property values oh my god karen now we have 25 00:01:47,373 --> 00:01:56,772 to buy non-organic caviar see randall squatty gets it this is my audience right here he 26 00:01:56,772 --> 00:02:05,793 can ride shotgun for all i care about okay squatty um no man I'm not calling you that 27 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:06,793 what's your real name 28 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,793 [SQUATTY] Squatty 29 00:02:07,793 --> 00:02:13,922 [ALEX] No your real name not the name these elitist [__] gave you 30 00:02:13,922 --> 00:02:15,803 [SQUATTY] Nut punch nut punch. 31 00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:16,803 Squatty nut punch. 32 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,962 [ALEX] Your name is squatty nut punch? 33 00:02:19,962 --> 00:02:21,803 [SQUATTY] Squatty nut punch. 34 00:02:21,803 --> 00:02:24,733 [ALEX] What is the origin of that? 35 00:02:24,733 --> 00:02:27,372 [SQUATTY] Squatty! 36 00:02:27,372 --> 00:02:37,803 [ALEX] Oh god 37 00:02:37,803 --> 00:02:39,183 [RANDALL] Squatty. 38 00:02:39,183 --> 00:02:42,223 [ALEX] Oh god randall he got the tip 39 00:02:42,223 --> 00:02:48,392 [RANDALL] Come with me if you want to live. 40 00:02:48,392 --> 00:02:52,282 [ALEX] He got the tip. 41 00:02:52,282 --> 00:02:59,163 [RANDALL] This isn't my first rodeo with squatty damn squatty squatty no 42 00:02:59,163 --> 00:03:00,812 [SQUATTY] Squatting no water? 43 00:03:00,812 --> 00:03:05,083 [RANDALL] It's not about the water squatty. 44 00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:14,733 Come on look at you. 45 00:03:14,733 --> 00:03:22,823 [RANDALL] Squatty no. 46 00:03:22,823 --> 00:03:23,823 What are you doing? 47 00:03:23,823 --> 00:03:28,322 You're naked look at you. 48 00:03:28,322 --> 00:03:40,933 [RANDALL] You want to try again. 49 00:03:40,933 --> 00:03:51,482 oh no no no no damn you squatty. 50 00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:56,152 [RANDALL] Squatty i told you put some clothes on. 51 00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:57,682 It's over. 52 00:03:57,682 --> 00:04:02,272 Face it, its over now Squatty. 53 00:04:02,272 --> 00:04:08,392 The one day I didnt wear my glasses. 54 00:04:08,392 --> 00:04:09,922 My eyes. 55 00:04:09,922 --> 00:04:11,452 Squatty no. 56 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:19,013 [ALEX] [__] man oh he got me right in lefty he got me right in lefty Randall. 57 00:04:19,013 --> 00:04:20,963 [RANDALL] Oh that means he likes you. 58 00:04:20,963 --> 00:04:21,963 [ALEX] What? 59 00:04:21,963 --> 00:04:24,143 [RANDALL] Let me get the ice. 60 00:04:24,143 --> 00:04:26,473 [ALEX] [__] great he likes me. 61 00:04:26,473 --> 00:04:28,873 Oh my god what now? 62 00:04:28,873 --> 00:04:32,933 [RANDALL] Alright, I'm about to go in. 63 00:04:32,933 --> 00:04:35,253 We're gonna get him. 64 00:04:35,253 --> 00:04:39,323 [ALEX] What the [__] are you doing? 65 00:04:39,323 --> 00:04:40,483 [RANDALL] Hmm? 66 00:04:40,483 --> 00:04:43,543 [ALEX] What are you gonna kill him 67 00:04:43,543 --> 00:04:44,803 [RANDALL] No I'm not gonna kill him. 68 00:04:44,803 --> 00:04:47,213 I'm just gonna you know shoot him with the tranquilizer and put him 69 00:04:47,213 --> 00:04:49,153 [ALEX] No no no no you're not gonna tranq him okay. 70 00:04:49,153 --> 00:04:51,133 He's a human being not an animal 71 00:04:51,133 --> 00:04:55,973 [RANDALL] Listen we're gonna put him to sleep and then we're gonna move in okay. 72 00:04:55,973 --> 00:05:00,993 Alex you don't want to do this you oh you don't want to play this game. 73 00:05:00,993 --> 00:05:01,993 Alex. 74 00:05:01,993 --> 00:05:18,823 [ALEX] Squatty, listen to me. 75 00:05:18,823 --> 00:05:21,353 I know things are tough right now okay. 76 00:05:21,353 --> 00:05:27,973 This entire capitalistic system turns people into second-class citizens for no reason other 77 00:05:27,973 --> 00:05:33,163 than they don't want to sell their soul for cash. 78 00:05:33,163 --> 00:05:39,263 Now these people that own this house they want you out of here bud and they don't care 79 00:05:39,263 --> 00:05:41,243 how it happens. 80 00:05:41,243 --> 00:05:45,263 Now my partner he'ss usually pretty cool about stuff like this but today he's on some 81 00:05:45,263 --> 00:05:50,513 john wick [__] so why don't you come with me and we'll get you set up somewhere safe 82 00:05:50,513 --> 00:05:53,833 and this doesn't have to get any worse than it already is. 83 00:05:53,833 --> 00:05:59,063 Come on Squatty I need you to trust me. 84 00:05:59,063 --> 00:06:01,233 Squatty? 85 00:06:01,233 --> 00:06:03,403 Squatty? 86 00:06:03,403 --> 00:06:09,923 [ALEX] Oh god. 87 00:06:09,923 --> 00:06:18,603 [SQUATTY] Good you're awake. 88 00:06:18,603 --> 00:06:25,843 [ALEX] Oh god are you gonna eat me? 89 00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:26,913 [SQUATTY] No I'm not. 90 00:06:26,913 --> 00:06:31,103 [ALEX] My partner Randall knows where I'm at and you're not gonna get away with this. 91 00:06:31,103 --> 00:06:32,103 [RANDALL] Finally time to eat. 92 00:06:32,103 --> 00:06:33,103 [ALEX] What? 93 00:06:33,103 --> 00:06:35,333 [RANDALL] I'm just joking i heard you in the back room. 94 00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:38,753 [ALEX] Great today you get a sense of humor. 95 00:06:38,753 --> 00:06:42,673 [SQUATTY] David Squattington but probably know me as squatty. 96 00:06:42,673 --> 00:06:45,383 [ALEX] Yeah you punched me in the nut. 97 00:06:45,383 --> 00:06:46,493 [SQUATTY] Only once? 98 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:48,253 I must have really lied to you. 99 00:06:48,253 --> 00:06:49,293 [ALEX] Twice 100 00:06:49,293 --> 00:07:02,063 [SQUATTY] Sorry about that um I've been living with schizophrenia for about five years homeless 101 00:07:02,063 --> 00:07:03,193 for about three. 102 00:07:03,193 --> 00:07:10,713 Things were going okay until i lost my job couldn't afford the medicine lost my house 103 00:07:10,713 --> 00:07:17,823 i was bouncing from jail to street every couple of months i'd have an episode get arrested 104 00:07:17,823 --> 00:07:23,373 end up in the psych ward where they give me a bunch of pills and send me on my way that 105 00:07:23,373 --> 00:07:26,253 worked for a while until they run out. 106 00:07:26,253 --> 00:07:35,963 it's only a matter of time before squatty comes out that was my life before i met randall. 107 00:07:35,963 --> 00:07:36,963 Saved my life. 108 00:07:36,963 --> 00:07:48,313 [RANDALL] I wouldn't say all of that buddy um i met david about a year ago when he was 109 00:07:48,313 --> 00:07:53,823 uh squatting in one of the houses which actually was quite helpful because he kept it pretty 110 00:07:53,823 --> 00:08:00,253 tidy and then he just moved to another house when one got sold. 111 00:08:00,253 --> 00:08:11,813 three months later, i met squatty.I tried to do whatever i could to help the situation 112 00:08:11,813 --> 00:08:19,003 you know i gave him money just anything to get david back to normal but lucky enough 113 00:08:19,003 --> 00:08:26,313 it was early on in the situation and the medication kicked in fairly quickly so 114 00:08:26,313 --> 00:08:35,102 [ALEX] Wow that's actually really amazing randall. 115 00:08:35,102 --> 00:08:40,381 [RANDALL] yeah i mean i would have told you to plan but you just you know kept on ranting 116 00:08:40,381 --> 00:08:41,472 and you're brazen actions 117 00:08:41,472 --> 00:08:43,413 [ALEX] First of all what rants? 118 00:08:43,413 --> 00:08:46,783 okay what brazen actions right 119 00:08:46,783 --> 00:08:47,783 [RANDALL]yeah 120 00:08:47,783 --> 00:08:50,042 [ALEX]so what are we gonna do with squatty? 121 00:08:50,042 --> 00:08:52,273 [RANDALL] It's already handled. 122 00:08:52,273 --> 00:08:54,833 [ALEX] He can't stay here, this place is already sold. 123 00:08:54,833 --> 00:09:00,602 [RANDALL] We got a new house that's sold i always got my buddy covered 124 00:09:00,602 --> 00:09:07,903 [ALEX] And when were you gonna tell me this plan right when i shut up 125 00:09:07,903 --> 00:09:11,973 [SQUATTY] that's right 126 00:09:11,973 --> 00:09:19,812 [ALEX] y'all [__] you know i really gotta hand it to randall really stepped up his game 127 00:09:19,812 --> 00:09:26,583 it's especially impressive knowing how much we get paid and his actions may have inspired 128 00:09:26,583 --> 00:09:33,143 me to do a little good you know it's surprising that with today's online threats some organizations 129 00:09:33,143 --> 00:09:40,783 don't use very secure passwords some hoas even keep an admin password and with that 130 00:09:40,783 --> 00:09:46,313 information someone could theoretically divert a few thousand dollars from the budget each 131 00:09:46,313 --> 00:09:54,062 year into a fund set up to purchase medications for david and people like david let's just 132 00:09:54,062 --> 00:09:58,212 say david's gonna be taken care of for quite a long time theoretically 133 00:09:58,262 --> 00:10:02,812 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 11694

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