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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:08,576 [waves crashing] 2 00:00:20,555 --> 00:00:23,525 [electric buzzing] 3 00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:32,032 [eerie singing] 4 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:45,112 [somber piano melody] 5 00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:10,805 [Nevaeh] Okay. So these are the rules. 6 00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,874 You have to get from here to there 7 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:16,109 without touching the floor or the light. 8 00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:18,245 All right, Bearbear, you can do this. 9 00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:20,682 Just have to go slow, okay? 10 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:25,753 -[Chama panting] -[indistinct whispering] 11 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,762 You can do it, Bearbear. You just have to jump. 12 00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:36,798 Okay, ready? 13 00:01:41,636 --> 00:01:44,171 [indistinct whispering] 14 00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:47,140 [Chama panting] 15 00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:54,816 [whispering and panting fade] 16 00:02:00,655 --> 00:02:03,524 [Chama] Sometimes I can feel the sky as it rotates. 17 00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:11,198 It scatters my thoughts, creating this... 18 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,267 sound. 19 00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:17,639 And it'll grow louder. 20 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,642 More aggressive. 21 00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,646 Like two people fighting. 22 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:30,551 I look up and I know I can keep my shit together. 23 00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:34,555 And then it rains. 24 00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:37,224 [thunder cracking] 25 00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:39,560 [rain pouring] 26 00:02:47,502 --> 00:02:48,903 [Chama coughing] 27 00:02:56,678 --> 00:02:59,312 [engine revving] 28 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,816 [engine sputtering] 29 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:12,392 [muffled sound of raindrops] 30 00:03:22,837 --> 00:03:24,839 [raindrops tapping] 31 00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:43,825 It's gonna stop, baby girl. 32 00:03:43,858 --> 00:03:46,894 If it doesn't, I'll be the only kid in class 33 00:03:46,928 --> 00:03:48,428 with an indoor swimming pool. 34 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:52,600 Ooh, que fancy. 35 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,470 You don't need a flood to stand out. 36 00:03:57,105 --> 00:03:59,640 You've got grease all over your face. 37 00:04:01,843 --> 00:04:04,545 Oh, yeah. You, like, totally got it now. 38 00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:06,413 It looks all bad. 39 00:04:07,782 --> 00:04:09,282 [Chama chuckles] 40 00:04:14,956 --> 00:04:16,456 [Chama] It will grow louder. 41 00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:20,695 The lights will turn off. 42 00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,496 [car honking] 43 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:23,598 The roof will cave in. 44 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:26,868 [indistinct whispering] 45 00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:28,503 Everything will fall apart. 46 00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:31,606 [Chama panting] 47 00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,340 And I wonder if you can hear me. 48 00:04:35,076 --> 00:04:37,410 [panting continues] 49 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,947 [indistinct whispering] 50 00:04:43,918 --> 00:04:46,353 [birds chirping] 51 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:54,394 [tense music playing] 52 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,664 [woman panting] 53 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:02,537 Don't let go. 54 00:05:03,938 --> 00:05:05,006 Don't let go. 55 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,407 Please. 56 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,776 [mouthing] 57 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,917 [indistinct rambling] 58 00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:26,961 Hold your hand. 59 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,997 No, don't let me. It's my fault. I did it. 60 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,667 Who's she talking to? 61 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,870 [woman talking in distance] 62 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,071 [Chama] Jesus. 63 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:38,806 [Nevaeh] Is he listening? 64 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,942 I don't know, baby girl. 65 00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:43,511 [Nevaeh] Is she crazy? 66 00:05:49,851 --> 00:05:51,085 I don't know, baby girl. 67 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,119 [woman shouting] You're on fire. 68 00:05:52,153 --> 00:05:53,821 You set it on fire! 69 00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:58,793 I'm holding your fucking hand, 70 00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:01,762 fuck you, you fucking ugly fucker, fucker, fucker... 71 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:05,398 Hold your hand. I'm holding your hand. 72 00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,835 [Chama panting] 73 00:06:09,904 --> 00:06:12,073 [Chama sobbing] 74 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:18,045 [panting continues] 75 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,115 [Matias] You got lost, Chama, or what? 76 00:06:22,083 --> 00:06:23,450 Where you going? 77 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,954 Don't be all nosy, Matias. 78 00:06:28,189 --> 00:06:29,924 She has a job interview. 79 00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,792 Oh, where at? 80 00:06:32,193 --> 00:06:33,761 You my PO now or something? 81 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,501 [bus squeaking] 82 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,408 Look, it's, like, a good job opportunity, okay? 83 00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:50,477 Gonna pay real good, 84 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,646 then you won't be seeing us no more. 85 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,118 Who names their kid Chama? 86 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,088 It's short for Elena. 87 00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:04,592 -No, it isn't. -It is, if I say it is. 88 00:07:05,326 --> 00:07:07,828 Anybody ever tell you you got spiders in your veins? 89 00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:09,563 Anyone ever tell you to put on some shoes? 90 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,441 Come on, baby, get your bag. 91 00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:24,912 [Matias] That you? 92 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:26,681 Yeah, that's me. 93 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,783 [Matias] Hey, good luck out there. 94 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,956 Let me see. 95 00:07:35,323 --> 00:07:37,224 You're gonna lose everything if you don't close your backpack. 96 00:07:37,692 --> 00:07:39,994 Come on. Got everything you need? 97 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,229 Mm-hmm. 98 00:07:42,263 --> 00:07:43,998 I'm gonna be right here, waiting for you after school. 99 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,099 Really? 100 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,034 Yes, really. 101 00:07:47,068 --> 00:07:48,536 Are you gonna give me shit today, too? 102 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:49,904 Come on. 103 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,505 -I love you. -I love you. 104 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:56,978 Have fun. 105 00:07:57,011 --> 00:07:58,746 [school din] 106 00:08:07,989 --> 00:08:10,758 [kids' voices echoing] 107 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,961 I remember being her age. 108 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,999 That's when I learned how to lie. 109 00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:21,135 I used to tell teachers I was sick. 110 00:08:21,469 --> 00:08:23,037 That's why I was missing school. 111 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,008 When I did go, I tried to blend in. 112 00:08:27,475 --> 00:08:29,577 I brushed my hair, 113 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:30,911 cleaned my nails... 114 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:35,049 but inside I felt ants crawling up my skin. 115 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,253 I just wanted to grow up, so everything would be better. 116 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,654 Give me a chance. 117 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,058 I can do the work. 118 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:46,894 I can! 119 00:08:47,328 --> 00:08:48,629 [man] I'm sure you can. 120 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:52,166 [Chama] Come on, quiz me. I know this shit. 121 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,601 When I was younger I used to watch 122 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,036 my abuelo tear cars apart. 123 00:08:55,436 --> 00:08:57,204 He taught me literally everything. 124 00:08:57,805 --> 00:09:00,641 I got an '85 Buick LeSabre I rebuilt. 125 00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:02,576 Runs perfectly... 126 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,545 if it had a fuel pump. 127 00:09:05,079 --> 00:09:06,847 But I can't get a new fuel pump 128 00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:08,749 if I don't got a job and if I don't got a job... 129 00:09:10,084 --> 00:09:11,152 Look. 130 00:09:12,153 --> 00:09:14,255 I'm just trying to get back on my feet, okay? 131 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:20,728 I have a daughter. 132 00:09:24,265 --> 00:09:26,767 Look, the economy's kicking my ass. 133 00:09:26,801 --> 00:09:28,269 I'm just not hiring right now. 134 00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:31,672 [melancholy music playing] 135 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:45,152 [bus humming] 136 00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:03,604 [rock music playing] 137 00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:08,776 [dog barks] 138 00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,714 [cicadas buzzing] 139 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,016 [muffled rock music playing] 140 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,182 [door creaks] 141 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:54,288 [music gets louder] 142 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,030 [indistinct singing] 143 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,715 Abuelo used to say that if you find a black feather... 144 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,187 it's a warning. 145 00:11:26,621 --> 00:11:29,423 [rock music intensifies] 146 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,445 [lighter clicks] 147 00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:55,182 [muffled talking] 148 00:12:11,065 --> 00:12:14,268 [lips smacking] 149 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:17,438 [melancholy piano music playing] 150 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:22,504 ♪ 151 00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:59,373 [soft vocalization] 152 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:32,607 [rhythmic beeping] 153 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,223 [crickets chirping] 154 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,443 [vehicle humming] 155 00:15:14,716 --> 00:15:20,187 ♪ 156 00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:26,093 [siren wailing in the distance] 157 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,681 We made dinner. 158 00:15:46,714 --> 00:15:47,981 There's some left in the fridge. 159 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,518 She's sleeping, Elena. 160 00:15:50,552 --> 00:15:51,920 She's my daughter. 161 00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:54,121 I know she's sleeping, okay? 162 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,490 Don't look at me like that. 163 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:59,960 -You're in my home. -That the state pays for. 164 00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:06,366 I was robbed, okay? 165 00:16:06,935 --> 00:16:08,368 Don't pretend like you care. 166 00:16:09,504 --> 00:16:11,238 Because if you gave two shits, 167 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,740 you'd drive around and look for them. 168 00:16:12,774 --> 00:16:15,175 Oh, I would drive around and look for your shoes? 169 00:16:15,209 --> 00:16:17,311 Why would you ever want to look for the imaginary person 170 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,580 who stole your shoes, Elena? 171 00:16:18,613 --> 00:16:20,147 [Chama] That's not my name. 172 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,215 Stop talking to me like a child. 173 00:16:21,883 --> 00:16:23,518 [Mari] You know, Friday's her birthday. 174 00:16:23,551 --> 00:16:25,085 I fucking know Friday's her birthday. 175 00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,554 [Mari] If you weren't my sister-- 176 00:16:26,588 --> 00:16:29,256 [Chama] So, what? You'd go? So fucking go! 177 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,124 You are just like Mom. 178 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,628 One of these times... 179 00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:35,496 they're gonna take her away. 180 00:16:39,233 --> 00:16:41,001 Get the fuck out of my house. 181 00:16:41,669 --> 00:16:43,070 Get the fuck out! 182 00:16:46,541 --> 00:16:48,743 [objects clattering] 183 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,194 [annoyed sigh] 184 00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:24,044 [plastic wrapper crinkling] 185 00:17:33,855 --> 00:17:38,258 [Brahms' Lullaby playing] 186 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,244 [lullaby stops] 187 00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:01,181 [peaceful music playing] 188 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:26,139 [coins rattling] 189 00:18:49,897 --> 00:18:52,399 [nature din] 190 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,170 [Toaster] You know, I used to have this dream... 191 00:18:58,205 --> 00:18:59,641 that I got, like, no face... 192 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,877 and I'm just a shadow, 193 00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:04,378 floating over the desert. 194 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,216 And I got, like, this bag of hammers 195 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,451 and I'm just, like, chucking them at cows. 196 00:19:11,953 --> 00:19:13,588 What do you think that means? 197 00:19:13,955 --> 00:19:15,790 [Chama] That you need serious help. 198 00:19:15,823 --> 00:19:17,925 Toaster always showed up when I needed her. 199 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,828 [upbeat music playing] 200 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,835 You can't just, like, open it. 201 00:19:27,869 --> 00:19:30,404 -Why not? -You broke it. 202 00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:32,339 Last year, Nevaeh loved red. 203 00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:36,644 I think this year, she likes the color purple. 204 00:19:37,812 --> 00:19:40,480 Like that Oprah movie about racism? 205 00:19:42,717 --> 00:19:44,519 Balloons. 206 00:19:44,552 --> 00:19:47,622 [plastic wrappers crinkling] 207 00:19:54,862 --> 00:19:56,496 You never, like, look up your dreams 208 00:19:56,531 --> 00:19:57,865 and find out what they mean? 209 00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:00,668 I don't dream. 210 00:20:01,602 --> 00:20:03,403 Every bitch dreams. 211 00:20:03,437 --> 00:20:05,540 Come on, you probably just don't remember it. 212 00:20:05,573 --> 00:20:06,774 [Chama] Mm-mm. 213 00:20:07,441 --> 00:20:08,910 -[lighter clicking] -[Toaster gasps] 214 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:11,946 Maybe that's what I'll study when I go back to school. 215 00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,750 Why Chama don't dream? 216 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,655 -Stupid. Siempre. -[Chama laughs] 217 00:20:20,688 --> 00:20:23,356 -No. -[both laugh] 218 00:20:24,025 --> 00:20:25,860 No, for serious. 219 00:20:27,461 --> 00:20:29,496 I'm going back. 220 00:20:29,530 --> 00:20:32,265 [Chama] Toaster is one of those bitches from the Heights. 221 00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:34,367 She actually knew her father. 222 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,037 He'd buy her things. 223 00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,806 She never worried about nothing. 224 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,341 Toaster was all cool. 225 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,944 And I wanted to be her. 226 00:20:44,612 --> 00:20:45,847 She was a dreamer. 227 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,648 I'm going back. 228 00:20:49,751 --> 00:20:51,251 My dad's gonna pay. 229 00:20:52,754 --> 00:20:54,922 It's gonna be like it used to be, you know? 230 00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:57,525 He's gonna be proud of me. 231 00:20:59,827 --> 00:21:01,629 I don't know, maybe I'll be just, like... 232 00:21:02,764 --> 00:21:04,665 some counselor, you know? 233 00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:08,970 Like, help all these bitches out. 234 00:21:11,773 --> 00:21:13,273 I could tell 'em what's up. 235 00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:18,713 [Chama] Toaster always showed up when I needed her. 236 00:21:18,746 --> 00:21:21,314 She'd help me fix everything. 237 00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:23,651 [pensive music playing] 238 00:21:26,353 --> 00:21:28,288 [Chama] I can make my daughter happy. 239 00:21:32,927 --> 00:21:34,996 I can keep my shit together. 240 00:21:42,603 --> 00:21:44,337 I can make my daughter happy. 241 00:21:44,371 --> 00:21:46,574 I can make my daughter happy. 242 00:21:54,982 --> 00:21:58,485 I can make my daughter happy. 243 00:21:58,519 --> 00:22:01,622 I can make my daughter happy. I can make my daughter happy. 244 00:22:01,656 --> 00:22:03,724 I can make my daughter happy. 245 00:22:03,758 --> 00:22:05,860 I can keep my shit together. I can make my daughter happy. 246 00:22:05,893 --> 00:22:07,595 I can make my daughter happy. 247 00:22:09,030 --> 00:22:10,865 I can keep my shit together. 248 00:22:12,033 --> 00:22:14,001 I can make my daughter happy. 249 00:22:16,804 --> 00:22:18,906 I can keep my shit together. 250 00:22:23,144 --> 00:22:25,046 [upbeat mariachi music playing] 251 00:22:25,079 --> 00:22:27,014 [indistinct chattering] 252 00:22:45,066 --> 00:22:47,001 [playful screaming] 253 00:22:57,444 --> 00:22:59,680 [kids chattering] 254 00:23:03,150 --> 00:23:05,820 [music continues in background] 255 00:23:18,933 --> 00:23:21,602 [muffled chattering] 256 00:23:37,218 --> 00:23:38,920 Hey, baby girl, what's wrong? 257 00:23:39,787 --> 00:23:41,022 I don't know. 258 00:23:41,822 --> 00:23:43,157 Hey. 259 00:23:43,190 --> 00:23:44,825 Don't let bullshit push you. 260 00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:54,568 Sometimes I just want to hide, too. 261 00:23:56,737 --> 00:23:58,039 Just, like, run away. 262 00:24:01,509 --> 00:24:03,144 But everybody's already here, 263 00:24:03,177 --> 00:24:05,746 so you might as well just take all their presents. 264 00:24:15,923 --> 00:24:18,092 You were born two months early, you know why? 265 00:24:18,826 --> 00:24:19,961 [Nevaeh] Hmm? 266 00:24:20,928 --> 00:24:23,496 Because you were so excited to meet your mama. 267 00:24:24,966 --> 00:24:26,667 And I was to meet you. 268 00:24:29,103 --> 00:24:30,604 There she is. 269 00:24:35,042 --> 00:24:37,078 You're my baby girl, you're all I got. 270 00:24:38,913 --> 00:24:40,214 [Nevaeh] You're all I got. 271 00:24:44,685 --> 00:24:46,153 I hope that's not true. 272 00:24:48,789 --> 00:24:51,092 Go on. Have fun, it's your birthday. 273 00:24:55,296 --> 00:24:58,766 [music getting louder] 274 00:24:58,799 --> 00:25:00,968 [people chattering] 275 00:25:01,002 --> 00:25:06,040 ♪ 276 00:25:29,196 --> 00:25:31,832 [children screaming] 277 00:25:31,866 --> 00:25:34,135 [sounds distort and echo] 278 00:25:34,168 --> 00:25:36,670 [indistinct whispering] 279 00:25:39,707 --> 00:25:41,108 [Chama] I can keep my shit. 280 00:25:41,142 --> 00:25:43,244 [Chama gasping] 281 00:25:43,277 --> 00:25:44,745 [child crying] 282 00:25:44,779 --> 00:25:46,147 [Mari] Elena? 283 00:25:46,180 --> 00:25:49,550 [Chama panting] 284 00:25:54,655 --> 00:25:55,790 [girl screaming] 285 00:25:55,823 --> 00:25:58,692 [mariachi music resumes] 286 00:26:15,643 --> 00:26:16,877 [knocking on door] 287 00:26:16,911 --> 00:26:17,912 [Mari] Elena, are you in there? 288 00:26:26,987 --> 00:26:29,123 [phone ringing] 289 00:26:31,792 --> 00:26:33,360 [Mari] Come on. Open up. 290 00:26:33,394 --> 00:26:35,229 -[knocking on door] -[Mari] Elena. 291 00:26:35,629 --> 00:26:37,164 I've been looking for you everywhere. 292 00:26:38,432 --> 00:26:41,102 You did all right-- good, okay? 293 00:26:42,203 --> 00:26:43,804 Not out here to talk shit. 294 00:26:47,408 --> 00:26:48,709 Hey. 295 00:26:48,742 --> 00:26:49,844 [knocking on door] 296 00:26:51,045 --> 00:26:52,680 Let's just go out and sing. 297 00:27:07,061 --> 00:27:08,295 Look, you know what? 298 00:27:10,231 --> 00:27:11,732 You don't get to do this. 299 00:27:12,967 --> 00:27:14,935 Not today, this isn't about you. 300 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,109 You think you're so special 301 00:27:22,143 --> 00:27:24,011 and that nobody else matters, but guess what? 302 00:27:25,913 --> 00:27:26,981 They do. 303 00:27:27,014 --> 00:27:28,182 [keys jangling] 304 00:27:31,051 --> 00:27:33,988 [tense music playing] 305 00:27:51,739 --> 00:27:53,140 [Mari] Somebody help me! 306 00:27:54,875 --> 00:27:56,777 Somebody help! 307 00:27:59,514 --> 00:28:01,015 Now! 308 00:28:12,293 --> 00:28:14,828 [music fades] 309 00:28:14,862 --> 00:28:16,230 [Shorty] I know what you all are thinking. 310 00:28:17,164 --> 00:28:18,732 Shit gets all fucked. 311 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:20,868 But that's just the way it goes. 312 00:28:21,969 --> 00:28:24,405 I had this one bitch try to tell me, 313 00:28:24,438 --> 00:28:27,708 "If you just got a real job, everything would be all right." 314 00:28:28,275 --> 00:28:30,477 Bitch! I have a felony. 315 00:28:30,512 --> 00:28:32,479 Who's gonna hire me? Who's gonna teach me? 316 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:35,716 All I know is selling dope, hustling. 317 00:28:36,083 --> 00:28:38,018 That's all anyone was willing to show me. 318 00:28:38,953 --> 00:28:42,823 So, with four little brothers at home, yeah, 319 00:28:42,856 --> 00:28:45,893 I was gonna hustle to buy them food and, yeah, 320 00:28:45,926 --> 00:28:48,362 I was gonna smoke to forget everything I had done. 321 00:28:49,263 --> 00:28:50,364 And yeah. 322 00:28:51,198 --> 00:28:53,167 Shit's gonna get fucked. 323 00:28:59,807 --> 00:29:03,077 [hospital gurney rattling] 324 00:29:11,185 --> 00:29:14,121 [somber music playing] 325 00:29:16,023 --> 00:29:17,758 [Chama] I was once a little girl. 326 00:29:19,594 --> 00:29:22,062 Trying to keep my sister safe. 327 00:29:25,299 --> 00:29:26,867 I thought it would all work out. 328 00:29:27,434 --> 00:29:30,271 -[gasping] -[Beatriz speaks indistinctly] 329 00:29:30,304 --> 00:29:32,139 [Chama] I used to run to Abuelo's. 330 00:29:34,475 --> 00:29:36,210 He showed me how to fix things. 331 00:29:40,281 --> 00:29:41,849 You showed me how to break them. 332 00:29:41,882 --> 00:29:43,784 [gravel crackling] 333 00:29:47,254 --> 00:29:48,989 [Beatriz] You fucking took them, huh? 334 00:29:49,023 --> 00:29:50,190 Let's go. 335 00:29:58,966 --> 00:30:02,336 [Chama] You drove around with bottles on the floor. 336 00:30:02,369 --> 00:30:04,238 Your music turned up. 337 00:30:04,271 --> 00:30:05,939 You'd smoke a full pack, 338 00:30:05,973 --> 00:30:08,809 but you still smelled like roses. 339 00:30:09,943 --> 00:30:12,313 -[car honking] -[girl screaming] 340 00:30:12,346 --> 00:30:15,015 [Chama] We cried as you pulled the glass out of our skin. 341 00:30:16,884 --> 00:30:19,086 [Beatriz panting] 342 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,288 [young Mari crying] 343 00:30:21,322 --> 00:30:22,489 [Chama] I am my mother's daughter. 344 00:30:22,524 --> 00:30:23,991 [man] Elena. 345 00:30:32,966 --> 00:30:34,868 [doctor] Can you tell me what you were doing? 346 00:30:38,205 --> 00:30:39,907 You're lucky to be alive. 347 00:30:42,142 --> 00:30:44,411 If it hadn't been for the Narcan you'd be dead... 348 00:30:46,113 --> 00:30:48,282 you probably wouldn't be here right now. 349 00:30:52,486 --> 00:30:54,188 How much do you normally use? 350 00:30:57,525 --> 00:30:59,960 Was it an accident or was it intentional? 351 00:31:03,197 --> 00:31:05,533 [Chama groaning softly] 352 00:31:19,279 --> 00:31:20,914 It's a selfish act, 353 00:31:20,948 --> 00:31:22,216 especially when you're pregnant. 354 00:31:23,150 --> 00:31:26,186 [tense music playing] 355 00:31:40,134 --> 00:31:41,301 You didn't know? 356 00:31:41,335 --> 00:31:46,373 ♪ 357 00:31:58,118 --> 00:32:00,487 [siren wailing in distance] 358 00:32:03,591 --> 00:32:06,193 [upbeat Spanish song on radio] 359 00:32:14,268 --> 00:32:16,671 [cicadas buzzing] 360 00:32:19,039 --> 00:32:20,675 [Chama] I was 21. 361 00:32:22,109 --> 00:32:24,011 I'd work on cars, because... 362 00:32:24,779 --> 00:32:26,146 what else am I gonna do? 363 00:32:26,180 --> 00:32:29,149 [music continues] 364 00:32:39,092 --> 00:32:41,395 [Chama] It was also the last time I used a needle. 365 00:32:42,764 --> 00:32:44,131 Nobody knew. 366 00:32:45,032 --> 00:32:46,233 I was quiet. 367 00:32:47,669 --> 00:32:49,637 But I always seemed in control. 368 00:32:51,739 --> 00:32:53,106 [Santi] You're doing it all wrong. 369 00:32:54,509 --> 00:32:56,176 You should be cranking it the other way, you know? 370 00:32:58,278 --> 00:32:59,747 I'm tightening the tensioner. 371 00:33:00,113 --> 00:33:03,150 Going clockwise, so the nut can do its job. 372 00:33:06,053 --> 00:33:07,154 That's what's up. 373 00:33:10,525 --> 00:33:11,626 You know, I see you. 374 00:33:14,328 --> 00:33:16,196 You was down at Chopay's the other day. 375 00:33:16,798 --> 00:33:18,566 Looking all cool and shit. 376 00:33:21,569 --> 00:33:25,105 I see you and I want to holler at you, mija. 377 00:33:27,207 --> 00:33:28,308 Why? 378 00:33:30,177 --> 00:33:31,646 Because you look like you need someone to. 379 00:33:37,317 --> 00:33:38,452 So what it is? 380 00:33:39,554 --> 00:33:41,221 Can I help you start it or what? 381 00:33:45,793 --> 00:33:47,562 [romantic guitar music playing] 382 00:33:47,595 --> 00:33:49,664 [both breathing heavily] 383 00:33:56,671 --> 00:33:59,139 [Chama] Santi was all bad. 384 00:33:59,172 --> 00:34:01,108 Smelled like hairspray and sweat. 385 00:34:03,745 --> 00:34:05,379 Reminded me of Abuelo. 386 00:34:07,314 --> 00:34:08,516 Know how many times he lost? 387 00:34:10,552 --> 00:34:11,786 Five. 388 00:34:11,819 --> 00:34:13,487 [Chama] He worshiped boxing 389 00:34:13,521 --> 00:34:15,255 and the boxers who wouldn't quit. 390 00:34:15,289 --> 00:34:16,691 Know how many times he's got back up and won? 391 00:34:17,357 --> 00:34:18,660 59, baby! 392 00:34:19,359 --> 00:34:21,663 He just sticks out his tongue and he knows no matter 393 00:34:21,696 --> 00:34:23,430 where he grow up, no matter how he grow up, 394 00:34:23,463 --> 00:34:25,065 what he could do, you know what I mean? 395 00:34:26,768 --> 00:34:28,368 He says, 396 00:34:28,402 --> 00:34:30,505 "Hey, pass me the ball, pass me the bills. 397 00:34:30,538 --> 00:34:31,639 [speaking indistinctly] 398 00:34:31,673 --> 00:34:33,473 Albuquerque. 399 00:34:33,508 --> 00:34:36,143 Up to you, champ. Albuquerque. 400 00:34:36,410 --> 00:34:38,111 I'm still the champ. 401 00:34:38,145 --> 00:34:40,548 Hey, Grandma, Grandpa, I'm still your champ!" 402 00:34:42,282 --> 00:34:44,084 [Chama] I'd tattoo him on my body. 403 00:34:45,620 --> 00:34:47,487 And he promised to never let me get sick. 404 00:34:49,423 --> 00:34:52,125 We'd get a house together. 405 00:34:52,159 --> 00:34:55,863 I'd get pregnant. Stop using. 406 00:34:55,897 --> 00:34:59,433 I'd worship him, because he gave me Nevaeh. 407 00:34:59,466 --> 00:35:03,203 She'd be born at home, just like I was. 408 00:35:03,236 --> 00:35:05,640 He'd play the guitar for our daughter. 409 00:35:05,673 --> 00:35:07,742 He wasn't very good, but I didn't know any better. 410 00:35:09,911 --> 00:35:11,278 Then he was gone. 411 00:35:12,446 --> 00:35:13,648 I was alone. 412 00:35:14,649 --> 00:35:15,883 And seven years later... 413 00:35:16,249 --> 00:35:18,485 [music playing on radio] 414 00:35:18,519 --> 00:35:20,120 [radio crashing] 415 00:35:21,756 --> 00:35:24,759 [crickets chirping] 416 00:35:35,536 --> 00:35:36,871 [man] I need you to nod your head 417 00:35:36,904 --> 00:35:38,606 that you understand what's going on. 418 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:41,776 It's in your best interest. 419 00:35:46,413 --> 00:35:48,750 An investigator from CPS is gonna sit down 420 00:35:48,783 --> 00:35:50,150 -with your daughter. -[Chama] No. 421 00:35:51,351 --> 00:35:52,587 You're going to scare her. 422 00:35:53,121 --> 00:35:54,789 [man] She's already scared. 423 00:36:01,461 --> 00:36:02,797 We've got a house full of love, 424 00:36:02,830 --> 00:36:04,632 you don't even know. 425 00:36:04,666 --> 00:36:05,967 [man] Do you have a contact number for her father? 426 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,234 What do you think he's gonna do? 427 00:36:07,869 --> 00:36:09,871 You just want to take away my baby. 428 00:36:09,904 --> 00:36:12,305 [man] Our intention is never to remove a child 429 00:36:12,339 --> 00:36:13,407 from their home. 430 00:36:13,941 --> 00:36:16,343 Unless we feel the child is in danger. 431 00:36:17,444 --> 00:36:18,913 Do I look dangerous? 432 00:36:18,946 --> 00:36:20,480 [indistinct chatter] 433 00:36:20,515 --> 00:36:21,949 [man] The situation at the party-- 434 00:36:21,983 --> 00:36:23,584 -Was an accident! -[bangs hand on table] 435 00:36:27,822 --> 00:36:30,625 It was-- it was-- 436 00:36:32,359 --> 00:36:34,762 [muffled crying] 437 00:36:35,997 --> 00:36:37,565 It was an accident. 438 00:36:38,700 --> 00:36:40,568 It's never gonna happen again. 439 00:36:44,639 --> 00:36:45,973 [man] Do you understand why we're here? 440 00:36:46,007 --> 00:36:47,642 [Chama stomping on floor] 441 00:36:56,884 --> 00:36:59,352 [Chama] Hey, baby girl. Hey. 442 00:37:01,488 --> 00:37:04,224 [Chama sniffling] 443 00:37:12,867 --> 00:37:14,234 It's okay. 444 00:37:14,836 --> 00:37:15,903 Here. 445 00:37:17,939 --> 00:37:19,372 Hey, Bearbear. 446 00:37:24,912 --> 00:37:27,447 I'm sorry. I messed up. 447 00:37:28,281 --> 00:37:30,417 Everything's gonna go back to normal. 448 00:37:30,450 --> 00:37:32,053 [pen scratching on paper] 449 00:37:32,086 --> 00:37:34,454 Will you stop writing down everything I say? 450 00:37:38,092 --> 00:37:41,294 [pen scratching continues] 451 00:37:47,969 --> 00:37:49,336 Come here. 452 00:38:04,451 --> 00:38:06,687 -I love you. -I love you. 453 00:38:11,358 --> 00:38:14,394 [droning music playing] 454 00:38:22,435 --> 00:38:25,405 [Chama screaming] 455 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,708 [church bell ringing] 456 00:38:31,646 --> 00:38:32,880 Fuck them, no? 457 00:38:37,484 --> 00:38:39,520 Fuck them for judging us. 458 00:38:41,155 --> 00:38:42,557 You're a good mother. 459 00:38:43,124 --> 00:38:44,457 I just wanna cry. 460 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,360 But nothing's coming out. 461 00:38:48,129 --> 00:38:49,564 [Toaster] They don't know shit. 462 00:38:53,134 --> 00:38:54,836 What's wrong with me, Toaster? 463 00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:00,541 [chuckling] 464 00:39:00,575 --> 00:39:02,076 What are you doing, Chama? 465 00:39:02,777 --> 00:39:05,445 You think you got, like, a choice, really? 466 00:39:06,781 --> 00:39:09,817 A la maquina, dummy. Not even. 467 00:39:11,152 --> 00:39:12,854 Okay, when we was, like, born... 468 00:39:13,888 --> 00:39:16,991 let's say God, yeah, God. 469 00:39:17,357 --> 00:39:18,860 You know, God was like... 470 00:39:21,195 --> 00:39:24,165 "I'm gonna make this child super smart. 471 00:39:24,198 --> 00:39:25,833 And then this one? 472 00:39:25,867 --> 00:39:27,635 This one is gonna be dumb as crackers. 473 00:39:27,668 --> 00:39:29,804 And then this one? Oh, you know what? 474 00:39:29,837 --> 00:39:32,439 That one is gonna get a fucking mental illness, 475 00:39:32,472 --> 00:39:35,442 hell yeah, because that'll be fucking fun, no? 476 00:39:35,475 --> 00:39:36,911 And this one. 477 00:39:36,944 --> 00:39:40,948 This one's gonna have ADHD, hell yeah! 478 00:39:40,982 --> 00:39:42,783 And this one, just for shits and giggles, 479 00:39:42,817 --> 00:39:44,952 let's give it leukemia, right? 480 00:39:44,986 --> 00:39:47,822 Because, you know, life needs more hurdles. 481 00:39:48,455 --> 00:39:50,825 And this one? Yeah, this one. 482 00:39:50,858 --> 00:39:53,393 This one gets an addictive personality. 483 00:39:54,195 --> 00:39:55,529 And that one doesn't." 484 00:39:59,033 --> 00:40:00,433 This is us. 485 00:40:03,638 --> 00:40:06,741 We gotta fucking fight until we win. 486 00:40:08,709 --> 00:40:10,511 We're fucking rebels, no? 487 00:40:12,213 --> 00:40:14,414 And we're gonna take care of all of it. 488 00:40:17,218 --> 00:40:18,552 Just not today. 489 00:40:21,856 --> 00:40:23,624 [door creaking] 490 00:40:23,658 --> 00:40:25,726 [distorted rock music playing] 491 00:40:28,162 --> 00:40:30,698 [pensive music playing] 492 00:41:01,195 --> 00:41:03,064 I want my baby. 493 00:41:03,097 --> 00:41:05,099 [bus humming] 494 00:41:08,836 --> 00:41:11,038 -I want my baby. -[Toaster] It's okay. 495 00:41:11,572 --> 00:41:14,108 -Shh. -I want my baby. 496 00:41:14,141 --> 00:41:17,111 Shh, can you just, like, think it 497 00:41:17,144 --> 00:41:19,013 instead of saying it out loud? 498 00:41:19,046 --> 00:41:20,648 I want my baby! 499 00:41:20,681 --> 00:41:23,084 And I would like her to shut the fuck up! 500 00:41:24,552 --> 00:41:25,753 What the fuck you say? 501 00:41:29,290 --> 00:41:30,624 No, it's okay. 502 00:41:31,092 --> 00:41:32,960 You can, like, say that one more time. 503 00:41:33,427 --> 00:41:35,096 Just shut her up. 504 00:41:44,338 --> 00:41:46,741 Do you know what the fuck my friend has been through? 505 00:41:48,175 --> 00:41:50,077 You want her to shut the fuck up? 506 00:41:51,145 --> 00:41:52,813 Just go back to your seat. 507 00:41:54,215 --> 00:41:55,716 Go back to my seat? 508 00:41:57,018 --> 00:41:59,020 I'll stand here if I want to. 509 00:42:04,692 --> 00:42:05,860 You're drunk. 510 00:42:08,062 --> 00:42:09,163 What'd you say? 511 00:42:09,563 --> 00:42:11,766 You fucking stink, you're drunk. 512 00:42:14,101 --> 00:42:15,903 -[man groans] -[punches landing] 513 00:42:15,936 --> 00:42:18,606 [man] Fuck! Get this crazy bitch off me! 514 00:42:18,639 --> 00:42:20,141 [Toaster screaming] Fuck you! 515 00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:22,843 [man] Fuck! 516 00:42:24,845 --> 00:42:26,747 -[man] Fuck! -[Toaster screaming] Fuck you! 517 00:42:26,781 --> 00:42:28,215 [Santi] Look at this place, mija. 518 00:42:28,249 --> 00:42:29,950 That's what you dreamed of. 519 00:42:31,385 --> 00:42:33,721 We can put my mother's papal cross right here. 520 00:42:33,754 --> 00:42:35,222 -[Santi] Mm-hmm. -Yeah? 521 00:42:35,256 --> 00:42:36,590 [Santi] Mm-hmm. 522 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,963 Maybe, like, a painting right there? 523 00:42:42,997 --> 00:42:44,331 [Santi] You could put up two. 524 00:42:44,365 --> 00:42:45,766 [Chama] What do you think? 525 00:42:46,333 --> 00:42:47,668 What do you think? 526 00:42:52,373 --> 00:42:56,710 Oh, and-- oh, I have this doll collection 527 00:42:56,744 --> 00:42:58,846 that my mother found outside a dumpster in the mall. 528 00:42:58,879 --> 00:43:01,315 -[Santi] Really? -It's in perfect condition. 529 00:43:01,348 --> 00:43:03,117 Well, like, perfect condition for, like, the dumpster, 530 00:43:03,150 --> 00:43:04,852 but I've always wanted to display it. 531 00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:07,088 Where you gonna put it up? 532 00:43:08,389 --> 00:43:10,257 -What do you think? -[Santi chuckles] 533 00:43:12,059 --> 00:43:13,260 [Santi] Are you happy or what? 534 00:43:13,294 --> 00:43:16,330 [ambient music playing] 535 00:43:32,913 --> 00:43:34,348 [Chama] I wanted a miracle. 536 00:43:35,683 --> 00:43:36,817 And I got one. 537 00:43:39,053 --> 00:43:40,754 I didn't need anything else. 538 00:43:43,190 --> 00:43:48,229 ♪ 539 00:43:51,432 --> 00:43:54,001 [birds chirping] 540 00:44:10,117 --> 00:44:12,153 [Gata] My husband was at home with my daughter. 541 00:44:13,821 --> 00:44:16,023 I was at the long bar with my friends. 542 00:44:18,859 --> 00:44:19,994 Boyfriend. 543 00:44:21,495 --> 00:44:23,197 We were all fucked up. 544 00:44:24,965 --> 00:44:26,200 Breaking vows... 545 00:44:27,868 --> 00:44:29,069 and I fell. 546 00:44:29,638 --> 00:44:31,338 Cracked my fucking tailbone. 547 00:44:33,140 --> 00:44:35,409 I put one of those blue ice packs on it. 548 00:44:36,076 --> 00:44:37,178 It broke. 549 00:44:38,846 --> 00:44:40,281 Dyed my ass blue. 550 00:44:43,484 --> 00:44:46,220 So, I go home smelling like turpentine... 551 00:44:47,154 --> 00:44:49,356 with a serious fucking injury, 552 00:44:49,390 --> 00:44:50,791 a blue ass... 553 00:44:51,526 --> 00:44:53,194 all the while, 554 00:44:53,227 --> 00:44:54,695 I was just supposed to be picking up dinner. 555 00:44:57,131 --> 00:45:01,835 ♪ Lord take me home, take me home ♪ 556 00:45:03,505 --> 00:45:10,144 ♪ 'Cause I need somewhere to go ♪ 557 00:45:10,177 --> 00:45:13,447 ♪ My pockets are empty ♪ 558 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:16,784 ♪ And so is my soul ♪ 559 00:45:16,817 --> 00:45:22,223 ♪ Oh, Lord, take me home, take me home ♪ 560 00:45:23,991 --> 00:45:26,293 ["Broke" by Feedback Revival playing] 561 00:45:40,808 --> 00:45:44,478 ♪ Well I got soul coming out my ears ♪ 562 00:45:44,512 --> 00:45:48,482 ♪ But I ain't got cash to put gas in my pick up ♪ 563 00:45:48,516 --> 00:45:53,287 ♪ Pick up, well I got dreams but I also got fears ♪ 564 00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,557 ♪ Which one will win I cannot tell ♪ 565 00:45:55,590 --> 00:45:58,058 ♪ The good King Jesus or the hounds of hell ♪ 566 00:45:58,092 --> 00:46:00,494 ♪ I said I ain't got no money... ♪ 567 00:46:00,528 --> 00:46:03,497 [faint music playing] 568 00:46:03,531 --> 00:46:06,000 [door creaks and buzzes] 569 00:46:10,404 --> 00:46:12,773 [Mrs. Dyer] Look who finally decided to show up. 570 00:46:13,240 --> 00:46:15,543 I was out looking for a present for my dad. 571 00:46:15,577 --> 00:46:17,111 I don't know what to get him. 572 00:46:17,144 --> 00:46:18,912 Maybe another World War Two book 573 00:46:18,946 --> 00:46:21,081 with the card inside that says, "Happy birthday. 574 00:46:21,115 --> 00:46:22,483 We got nothing in common." 575 00:46:22,517 --> 00:46:25,052 -[Mrs. Dyer sniffs] -[Nick] What? 576 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:27,988 You know your jacket smells? 577 00:46:28,022 --> 00:46:29,189 You ever wash it? 578 00:46:29,990 --> 00:46:31,526 It's not like it touches my ass, 579 00:46:31,559 --> 00:46:33,427 I'm not, like, farting in it... 580 00:46:34,461 --> 00:46:35,796 all the time. 581 00:46:36,997 --> 00:46:38,365 Oh, come on, that was funny. 582 00:46:39,033 --> 00:46:40,834 You know, you really should laugh more. 583 00:46:40,868 --> 00:46:41,969 Especially here. 584 00:46:42,604 --> 00:46:44,338 [door creaks and buzzes] 585 00:46:55,282 --> 00:46:57,117 Not sure if I'm supposed to be here. 586 00:46:57,918 --> 00:47:00,321 [Mrs. Dyer] If you're standing there, you probably are. 587 00:47:00,354 --> 00:47:01,955 But we don't detox. 588 00:47:03,090 --> 00:47:04,191 I'm clean. 589 00:47:04,626 --> 00:47:05,926 [Mrs. Dyer] We're full up. 590 00:47:07,227 --> 00:47:08,596 Plus, it's 3:00 PM. 591 00:47:08,630 --> 00:47:10,565 We don't take anyone past noon. 592 00:47:16,103 --> 00:47:18,172 [Chama] This is the third place I've tried today. 593 00:47:20,207 --> 00:47:22,109 What's worse than being invisible? 594 00:47:23,277 --> 00:47:25,012 Being seen as disposable. 595 00:47:25,045 --> 00:47:27,147 [electric buzzing] 596 00:47:33,087 --> 00:47:35,590 [melancholy music playing] 597 00:47:39,026 --> 00:47:40,595 [Chama] I go to the hospital. 598 00:47:40,628 --> 00:47:43,197 Be responsible. Get checked. 599 00:47:43,230 --> 00:47:44,365 Dose. 600 00:47:48,135 --> 00:47:50,003 I want to rip off my skin. 601 00:47:52,139 --> 00:47:53,474 The way she looks at me. 602 00:47:56,678 --> 00:47:58,345 Does she need to double up? 603 00:47:58,912 --> 00:48:01,281 The nurse. The fucking nurse. 604 00:48:02,082 --> 00:48:05,386 I'm dirty. Disgusting. 605 00:48:05,419 --> 00:48:07,454 She doesn't see me. 606 00:48:07,488 --> 00:48:09,691 She'll check my chart. 607 00:48:09,724 --> 00:48:11,358 She'll know what I've done. 608 00:48:24,706 --> 00:48:27,542 [objects clattering] 609 00:48:29,711 --> 00:48:31,579 [knocking on door] 610 00:48:31,979 --> 00:48:34,649 [door creaking open] 611 00:48:54,334 --> 00:48:56,671 [indistinct whispering] 612 00:49:04,445 --> 00:49:06,480 [toilet flushing] 613 00:49:22,262 --> 00:49:24,398 [Santi] I told you last time I wanted to sell you, 614 00:49:24,431 --> 00:49:25,633 you know what I mean? 615 00:49:26,099 --> 00:49:28,235 I just didn't like the way y'all went out like that. 616 00:49:28,268 --> 00:49:29,604 [man] I know you got something. 617 00:49:29,637 --> 00:49:31,071 [Santi] Nah, not this time. 618 00:49:31,104 --> 00:49:33,675 [indistinct conversation] 619 00:49:33,708 --> 00:49:37,579 [indistinct fighting] 620 00:49:37,612 --> 00:49:39,480 [man] Fuck you up. Fucking kill you. 621 00:49:40,682 --> 00:49:42,149 This shit ain't over. 622 00:49:42,182 --> 00:49:47,221 ♪ 623 00:49:48,322 --> 00:49:49,958 [Chama] Santi, what did you do? 624 00:49:54,161 --> 00:49:55,730 Keep your fucking mouth shut. 625 00:50:11,078 --> 00:50:12,446 [music fades] 626 00:50:22,189 --> 00:50:24,091 [Chama panting] 627 00:50:26,460 --> 00:50:29,597 [Chama crying] 628 00:50:37,471 --> 00:50:39,674 [Chama panting] 629 00:50:48,248 --> 00:50:51,451 [Chama shivering] 630 00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:54,622 [Chama vomiting] 631 00:50:57,892 --> 00:51:00,662 [Chama panting] 632 00:51:08,670 --> 00:51:11,371 [Chama groaning] 633 00:51:11,405 --> 00:51:14,107 [suspenseful music playing] 634 00:51:15,710 --> 00:51:17,277 [Chama groaning] 635 00:51:24,919 --> 00:51:26,721 [groaning continues] 636 00:51:32,359 --> 00:51:34,328 [Chama coughing] 637 00:51:38,398 --> 00:51:40,535 [knocking on door] 638 00:51:43,504 --> 00:51:44,606 Who's there? 639 00:51:48,776 --> 00:51:50,612 [Toaster] What are you doing, Chama? 640 00:51:52,179 --> 00:51:53,380 Toaster. 641 00:51:57,417 --> 00:51:59,152 You gotta go away. 642 00:51:59,186 --> 00:52:00,755 [Chama panting] 643 00:52:04,692 --> 00:52:05,760 Go away! 644 00:52:13,768 --> 00:52:15,202 [Chama] Toaster. 645 00:52:16,336 --> 00:52:18,606 Toaster! 646 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,173 [Toaster] I thought you wanted me to leave. 647 00:52:23,276 --> 00:52:24,912 [sobbing] No, no. 648 00:52:24,946 --> 00:52:26,814 [crying] 649 00:52:30,585 --> 00:52:31,853 I'm all alone. 650 00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,896 [Toaster] Remember when we first met? 651 00:52:41,929 --> 00:52:44,297 We were working at some old folks' home 652 00:52:44,331 --> 00:52:45,800 and making food and shit. 653 00:52:48,803 --> 00:52:50,470 Yeah. 654 00:52:50,505 --> 00:52:52,740 We both hated the way old people were treated. 655 00:52:54,408 --> 00:52:56,276 Like they were a nuisance. 656 00:52:57,645 --> 00:52:59,781 Like they chose to be old and shit. 657 00:52:59,814 --> 00:53:02,315 [Toaster] You thought I was like your sister and shit. 658 00:53:02,349 --> 00:53:04,184 You got all mad. 659 00:53:05,485 --> 00:53:07,254 [lighter clicking] 660 00:53:07,287 --> 00:53:08,923 [fire crackling] 661 00:53:08,956 --> 00:53:14,194 ♪ 662 00:53:18,032 --> 00:53:20,735 [Chama groaning] 663 00:53:20,768 --> 00:53:22,804 [Toaster] You know what the worst part is? 664 00:53:23,705 --> 00:53:25,573 All of it. 665 00:53:25,606 --> 00:53:27,441 [Toaster] When you're out, Chama. 666 00:53:30,310 --> 00:53:32,747 You start smoking the crumbs. 667 00:53:32,780 --> 00:53:34,481 I've seen you do it. 668 00:53:34,515 --> 00:53:35,983 You're a dummy. 669 00:53:36,017 --> 00:53:37,752 You smoke the crumbs and then more. 670 00:53:37,785 --> 00:53:40,822 Then you put Selena on full blast. 671 00:53:40,855 --> 00:53:45,392 But it's not the same as when you kiss it. 672 00:53:45,425 --> 00:53:47,461 -Put it in. -[screaming] No, shut up! 673 00:53:48,763 --> 00:53:49,997 [Toaster] Open up. 674 00:53:50,031 --> 00:53:52,299 [Chama] No. No! 675 00:53:52,332 --> 00:53:54,602 [banging on door] 676 00:53:54,635 --> 00:53:56,971 [Toaster] I've got something for you, Chama. 677 00:53:58,405 --> 00:53:59,507 No! 678 00:53:59,540 --> 00:54:02,242 [music intensifies] 679 00:54:03,811 --> 00:54:05,479 [Chama panting] 680 00:54:11,418 --> 00:54:13,554 [Chama] I'll do better, I'll do better, 681 00:54:13,588 --> 00:54:15,355 I'll do better, I'll do better, 682 00:54:15,388 --> 00:54:16,657 I promise I'll do better. 683 00:54:16,691 --> 00:54:19,794 [indistinct arguing] 684 00:54:19,827 --> 00:54:21,896 [woman] You lied. You lied. 685 00:54:21,929 --> 00:54:26,366 [indistinct, overlapping voices] 686 00:54:26,399 --> 00:54:29,302 [woman sobbing incoherently] 687 00:54:31,939 --> 00:54:33,841 No, don't-- don't move, don't move. 688 00:54:33,875 --> 00:54:35,877 Is it cold? Is it cold down there? 689 00:54:35,910 --> 00:54:39,046 Please hold on to my hand. Oh, my God. 690 00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:41,883 [woman sobbing] 691 00:54:44,952 --> 00:54:47,054 [heavy metal music playing] 692 00:54:47,088 --> 00:54:48,388 [Chama] Toaster. 693 00:54:49,791 --> 00:54:51,291 Are you fucking with me? 694 00:54:52,059 --> 00:54:54,061 What are you doing, Chama? 695 00:54:54,095 --> 00:54:55,897 [man's voice muffled] Hey. 696 00:54:55,930 --> 00:54:57,865 [speaking indistinctly] 697 00:54:58,833 --> 00:55:00,568 -Don't you? -No, sorry. 698 00:55:02,103 --> 00:55:03,671 I only got a couple of bucks. 699 00:55:04,739 --> 00:55:07,942 [man speaking indistinctly] 700 00:55:07,975 --> 00:55:09,744 Come on. Please. 701 00:55:13,446 --> 00:55:16,017 Come on. Come on. Please. 702 00:55:22,023 --> 00:55:26,627 Come on. Come on. Come on, please. 703 00:55:28,029 --> 00:55:29,362 [silence] 704 00:55:34,101 --> 00:55:36,469 [Chama] I've been talking to you and not once, 705 00:55:36,504 --> 00:55:39,674 through everything, have you said anything back. 706 00:55:42,442 --> 00:55:43,778 Are you not there? 707 00:55:45,046 --> 00:55:46,581 Can you not hear me? 708 00:55:47,447 --> 00:55:49,482 [tape rolling] 709 00:55:53,921 --> 00:55:56,924 [music box lullaby playing] 710 00:56:07,902 --> 00:56:10,137 [baby crying] 711 00:56:10,171 --> 00:56:15,408 ♪ 712 00:56:22,917 --> 00:56:23,985 [distant thud] 713 00:56:28,222 --> 00:56:29,523 Nine months. 714 00:56:30,224 --> 00:56:31,525 [sighs] 715 00:56:32,793 --> 00:56:34,061 Clean. 716 00:56:38,766 --> 00:56:39,867 Look at your arms. 717 00:56:40,433 --> 00:56:43,571 You're a worthless fucking... 718 00:56:44,939 --> 00:56:46,007 junkie. 719 00:56:48,209 --> 00:56:50,077 Why don't you just kill yourself? 720 00:56:51,746 --> 00:56:55,415 [panting] 721 00:57:00,087 --> 00:57:01,155 Or you could... 722 00:57:02,924 --> 00:57:03,991 go. 723 00:57:05,126 --> 00:57:06,426 Grab your daughter... 724 00:57:08,229 --> 00:57:09,797 and get out of here. 725 00:57:10,231 --> 00:57:11,866 Get the fuck out of here. 726 00:57:13,034 --> 00:57:14,735 [baby crying] 727 00:57:14,769 --> 00:57:16,037 Get the fuck out of here. 728 00:57:18,139 --> 00:57:19,540 Police department, don't move! 729 00:57:19,573 --> 00:57:20,975 Police department! 730 00:57:23,611 --> 00:57:26,714 [baby crying] 731 00:57:28,282 --> 00:57:30,851 [suspenseful music plays] 732 00:57:37,992 --> 00:57:39,093 [Santi exclaims] 733 00:57:39,827 --> 00:57:41,494 [Santi grunts] 734 00:57:49,637 --> 00:57:51,605 [reel stops] 735 00:57:53,774 --> 00:57:56,243 [Nell] You wanna know the... [chuckles] 736 00:57:56,277 --> 00:57:59,947 ...two worst words in the English vocabulary? 737 00:58:02,783 --> 00:58:04,986 What if... [chuckles] 738 00:58:05,886 --> 00:58:07,989 ...um, what if... 739 00:58:10,024 --> 00:58:11,892 my dad was the president? 740 00:58:13,627 --> 00:58:14,729 Or what if... 741 00:58:15,963 --> 00:58:17,631 um, my mom... 742 00:58:18,632 --> 00:58:20,500 actually wanted me? 743 00:58:23,004 --> 00:58:24,638 What if... 744 00:58:25,206 --> 00:58:27,174 I was born in London, 745 00:58:27,208 --> 00:58:28,509 or... 746 00:58:29,176 --> 00:58:30,611 or Ireland? 747 00:58:33,047 --> 00:58:35,516 Lived on a farm far away? 748 00:58:36,250 --> 00:58:37,518 [chuckles] 749 00:58:41,922 --> 00:58:44,225 What if when I ate food 750 00:58:44,258 --> 00:58:45,926 I could keep it down, 751 00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:49,697 like, that wasn't even a thought, you know? 752 00:58:49,730 --> 00:58:51,632 [chuckles] 753 00:58:56,003 --> 00:58:57,538 What if they didn't say... 754 00:58:58,639 --> 00:58:59,774 it was all my fault? 755 00:59:02,610 --> 00:59:04,178 Make up lies about me? 756 00:59:07,281 --> 00:59:08,549 [sniffs] 757 00:59:10,818 --> 00:59:12,920 What if he came to get me? 758 00:59:12,953 --> 00:59:14,055 [chuckles] 759 00:59:16,257 --> 00:59:17,725 You know where I'm at? 760 00:59:22,329 --> 00:59:25,032 You know, what if I didn't have to ask what if? 761 00:59:25,066 --> 00:59:26,300 [chuckles] 762 00:59:27,701 --> 00:59:30,037 [soft music plays] 763 00:59:30,071 --> 00:59:35,109 ♪ 764 01:00:05,806 --> 01:00:06,907 Can't. 765 01:00:08,976 --> 01:00:11,812 ♪ Please don't say anything ♪ 766 01:00:11,846 --> 01:00:14,048 ♪ Anything at all ♪ 767 01:00:14,081 --> 01:00:16,851 Look, I've-- I've been calling 768 01:00:16,884 --> 01:00:20,087 over and over and no-- nobody will tell me nothing! 769 01:00:20,121 --> 01:00:24,125 ♪ The silence says it all ♪ 770 01:00:26,427 --> 01:00:29,396 ♪ Blood running through my veins ♪ 771 01:00:29,430 --> 01:00:31,065 Where is she? 772 01:00:37,104 --> 01:00:38,806 Don't worry, [indistinct] 773 01:00:40,074 --> 01:00:41,842 [Chama] No, don't-- don't hang up. 774 01:00:41,876 --> 01:00:43,844 I just-- I want to know where she is. 775 01:00:43,878 --> 01:00:46,814 ♪ For that call ♪ 776 01:00:50,384 --> 01:00:54,855 ♪ Ooh ♪ 777 01:01:04,465 --> 01:01:05,733 [Chama] Can't. 778 01:01:06,300 --> 01:01:07,668 [Toaster] Come on! 779 01:01:08,235 --> 01:01:10,771 What the-- what the fuck? 780 01:01:10,804 --> 01:01:12,072 We need help! 781 01:01:12,106 --> 01:01:13,407 Who's gonna help us? 782 01:01:13,741 --> 01:01:15,910 Who? Who, who, who? 783 01:01:15,943 --> 01:01:18,179 -I don't know, I just-- -[Toaster] Say it. What? 784 01:01:18,212 --> 01:01:20,014 -Say it! What are you, dumb? -I feel like-- 785 01:01:20,047 --> 01:01:21,248 Who's gonna help us? 786 01:01:21,916 --> 01:01:24,318 -Who's gonna help us? -I don't know! 787 01:01:25,252 --> 01:01:26,387 I don't know! 788 01:01:27,888 --> 01:01:29,790 -We need help. -[Toaster] Who's gonna help us? 789 01:01:29,823 --> 01:01:31,392 I don't know. I don't know. 790 01:01:31,992 --> 01:01:34,995 I don't-- I feel-- I feel-- 791 01:01:35,029 --> 01:01:37,798 I feel like I wanna rip my hair out. 792 01:01:38,799 --> 01:01:41,168 I wanna tear my skin off 793 01:01:41,202 --> 01:01:43,003 and walk away from this shit 794 01:01:43,037 --> 01:01:44,838 I feel all the time! 795 01:01:45,439 --> 01:01:47,875 [Toaster laughs] 796 01:01:47,908 --> 01:01:51,212 ♪ Don't leave me don't leave me ♪ 797 01:01:51,245 --> 01:01:53,948 ♪ Don't leave me don't leave me ♪ 798 01:01:55,883 --> 01:01:56,951 [Toaster] What? 799 01:01:57,785 --> 01:01:59,019 Where are you going? 800 01:02:03,857 --> 01:02:05,092 Where are you going? 801 01:02:06,227 --> 01:02:07,828 You just gonna stumble off? 802 01:02:08,563 --> 01:02:10,231 You gonna stumble right back. 803 01:02:15,269 --> 01:02:17,004 No one gives a shit. 804 01:02:18,305 --> 01:02:20,040 We ain't stupid. 805 01:02:20,074 --> 01:02:21,742 We know there's nothing else. 806 01:02:22,544 --> 01:02:24,078 Where are you going? 807 01:02:25,813 --> 01:02:27,815 Where are you going, Chama? 808 01:02:33,487 --> 01:02:35,990 [eerie music plays] 809 01:02:47,368 --> 01:02:49,303 [screaming] 810 01:02:54,475 --> 01:02:57,411 [Chama] When Abuelo died, I ran away. 811 01:02:59,514 --> 01:03:01,248 [screaming] 812 01:03:01,282 --> 01:03:03,117 [Chama] Which brought me right back to you. 813 01:03:03,150 --> 01:03:05,052 [screaming] 814 01:03:05,085 --> 01:03:06,588 [Beatriz] Do you want them to think you're loca? 815 01:03:06,621 --> 01:03:08,556 Because that's what they're gonna say, hm? 816 01:03:08,590 --> 01:03:10,457 Look at that crazy, going around losing it. 817 01:03:11,859 --> 01:03:13,394 [bell tolling] 818 01:03:20,602 --> 01:03:23,304 It's not fair. I don't want Abuelo to go. 819 01:03:23,804 --> 01:03:25,839 You think anyone cares about what you want? 820 01:03:29,243 --> 01:03:30,978 Your sister's not gonna live with us anymore. 821 01:03:31,646 --> 01:03:33,447 Her father wants her. 822 01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:34,848 Take her back to Texas and I'm too fucking tired 823 01:03:34,882 --> 01:03:35,983 to keep fighting him. 824 01:03:38,018 --> 01:03:40,120 -[crow squawking] -Just us now. 825 01:03:47,294 --> 01:03:49,263 Don't be mad at what it is because we're just paying 826 01:03:49,296 --> 01:03:50,831 for something we did in another life. 827 01:03:52,466 --> 01:03:53,535 Here, drink this. 828 01:03:54,902 --> 01:03:56,236 Not too much. 829 01:03:56,270 --> 01:03:57,572 Just enough to make you feel better. 830 01:04:17,257 --> 01:04:18,325 [sniffs] 831 01:04:24,431 --> 01:04:25,499 [thud] 832 01:04:25,533 --> 01:04:27,635 [serene music plays] 833 01:04:27,669 --> 01:04:32,940 ♪ 834 01:04:56,964 --> 01:04:58,332 [nurse] I thought you looked thirsty, mama. 835 01:05:03,437 --> 01:05:05,272 Chart's looking like you're eight weeks along. 836 01:05:06,006 --> 01:05:08,041 Someone talk to you about your options? 837 01:05:11,478 --> 01:05:13,213 It's okay, mama, take your time. 838 01:05:16,450 --> 01:05:17,519 [sniffs] 839 01:05:21,756 --> 01:05:23,023 Thank you. 840 01:05:23,691 --> 01:05:25,159 [nurse] You think you gotta keep it yourself, 841 01:05:25,192 --> 01:05:26,561 but you don't. 842 01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:29,129 I don't know what direction you gonna go with this pregnancy, 843 01:05:29,163 --> 01:05:31,666 but we can help you safely transition. 844 01:05:31,699 --> 01:05:33,500 Detox that stuff out your system. 845 01:05:35,169 --> 01:05:36,604 Or you can continue your way. 846 01:05:39,273 --> 01:05:41,008 You got two options here. 847 01:05:41,041 --> 01:05:43,944 First, you leave, then there's the second one. 848 01:05:51,385 --> 01:05:53,287 [Chama] I know I'll see her face again. 849 01:05:59,761 --> 01:06:01,128 The bedpost. 850 01:06:02,196 --> 01:06:03,297 The ceiling. 851 01:06:04,298 --> 01:06:05,399 The mole. 852 01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:07,669 The itch. 853 01:06:07,702 --> 01:06:09,236 -[woman] Did you hear that? -[Chama coughs] 854 01:06:09,269 --> 01:06:12,607 [indistinct whispering] 855 01:06:14,609 --> 01:06:16,578 [Chama] I know I'll see her face again. 856 01:06:16,977 --> 01:06:20,481 [machine beeping] 857 01:06:21,816 --> 01:06:24,351 The bedpost. The ceiling. 858 01:06:25,352 --> 01:06:27,154 The mole. The itch. 859 01:06:27,187 --> 01:06:29,289 [indistinct whispering] 860 01:06:32,727 --> 01:06:36,096 [music intensifies] 861 01:06:39,500 --> 01:06:41,636 [Chama] I know I'll see her face again. 862 01:06:48,442 --> 01:06:51,713 The bedpost. The ceiling. The mole. 863 01:06:51,746 --> 01:06:53,046 You're looking better. 864 01:06:56,316 --> 01:06:58,285 [Chama] I know I'll see her face again. 865 01:06:58,318 --> 01:06:59,554 I know I'll see her face again. 866 01:06:59,587 --> 01:07:01,154 [woman] You're looking better. 867 01:07:01,188 --> 01:07:02,690 I know I'll see her face again. 868 01:07:02,724 --> 01:07:04,157 [woman] You're looking better. 869 01:07:04,191 --> 01:07:05,325 I know I'll see her face again! 870 01:07:07,461 --> 01:07:09,196 [phone ringing] 871 01:07:20,140 --> 01:07:21,241 First time here? 872 01:07:25,479 --> 01:07:27,715 They think we're all crazy. [chuckles] 873 01:07:27,749 --> 01:07:29,684 Kind of makes me wanna pop their eye out. 874 01:07:30,852 --> 01:07:32,820 [exclaims] I'm Nell. 875 01:07:33,521 --> 01:07:36,223 [woman speaks indistinctly on radio] 876 01:07:37,324 --> 01:07:38,458 Chama. 877 01:07:39,259 --> 01:07:40,427 [Nell] Like the town. 878 01:07:42,764 --> 01:07:44,164 Chama, New Mexico. 879 01:07:44,799 --> 01:07:46,133 [elevator bell dings] 880 01:07:51,271 --> 01:07:53,173 Everything is out to beat us, 881 01:07:53,608 --> 01:07:56,276 but I'm just biding my minutes 'til I get into Guadalupe. 882 01:08:02,182 --> 01:08:03,283 Is this your first time? 883 01:08:04,484 --> 01:08:05,520 Sixth. 884 01:08:05,553 --> 01:08:07,589 [indistinct over radio] 885 01:08:10,825 --> 01:08:12,060 See you later. 886 01:08:14,194 --> 01:08:15,563 [phone rings] 887 01:08:17,431 --> 01:08:19,701 [machine beeping] 888 01:08:19,734 --> 01:08:20,802 [Chama] Bedpost. 889 01:08:24,304 --> 01:08:25,405 Ceiling. 890 01:08:34,816 --> 01:08:36,283 Boredom. 891 01:08:44,826 --> 01:08:46,159 Itch. 892 01:08:49,731 --> 01:08:51,899 Not as sick. 893 01:08:51,933 --> 01:08:54,802 [machine beeping] 894 01:09:02,209 --> 01:09:03,511 [Shorty] I was in my Grandma's double-wide 895 01:09:03,544 --> 01:09:04,812 playing with her cat. 896 01:09:05,212 --> 01:09:06,714 Her neighbor stopped over and asked 897 01:09:06,748 --> 01:09:07,882 if I wanted to try something. 898 01:09:08,650 --> 01:09:10,585 I was like, "How does it feel?" 899 01:09:10,618 --> 01:09:12,386 He was like, "Don't be a baby. Just try it." 900 01:09:13,921 --> 01:09:15,623 So I smoked meth out of a light bulb. 901 01:09:16,456 --> 01:09:18,425 I was like, "I don't even feel anything." 902 01:09:19,426 --> 01:09:22,229 Then it was days later 903 01:09:22,262 --> 01:09:23,965 and there was no concept of where time went. 904 01:09:23,998 --> 01:09:26,868 All I know is Grandma's cat was dead 905 01:09:26,901 --> 01:09:28,670 and I missed my 16th birthday. 906 01:09:29,537 --> 01:09:30,605 [click] 907 01:09:33,407 --> 01:09:35,208 [comedic music plays] 908 01:09:36,878 --> 01:09:40,548 I was just thinking how fucking awesome life is. 909 01:09:40,581 --> 01:09:43,417 I know. We have clothes and groceries. 910 01:09:43,450 --> 01:09:45,318 Mom's not snorting dust off the carpet 911 01:09:45,352 --> 01:09:46,954 and we have college funds. 912 01:09:46,988 --> 01:09:49,356 I'm so glad you're not fuck ups like Tina's kids. 913 01:09:49,389 --> 01:09:51,291 They smell like garbage. 914 01:09:51,324 --> 01:09:53,293 You're also lucky to have a house with a working heater. 915 01:09:53,326 --> 01:09:54,962 Do people live without a heater? 916 01:09:54,996 --> 01:09:56,296 Oh, yes. 917 01:09:56,329 --> 01:09:57,965 Because usually those people 918 01:09:57,999 --> 01:10:00,300 are fucking strangers for coke. 919 01:10:01,602 --> 01:10:03,538 -Hey, Nick. -[Nick] Hello. 920 01:10:03,571 --> 01:10:05,305 [phone rings] 921 01:10:08,743 --> 01:10:10,277 Bring back a chicharrón? 922 01:10:11,344 --> 01:10:12,446 [Nick] Huh? 923 01:10:13,447 --> 01:10:15,215 Are you even New Mexican? 924 01:10:16,551 --> 01:10:18,318 Born and raised. 925 01:10:18,351 --> 01:10:19,854 You're as New Mexican as Taco Bell green chili. 926 01:10:20,555 --> 01:10:22,924 There, you see? You do have jokes. 927 01:10:22,957 --> 01:10:24,792 They're not necessarily good, but... 928 01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:27,895 [buzzing] 929 01:10:36,904 --> 01:10:40,307 ["Big Black Tooth" by Feedback Revival playing] 930 01:10:44,846 --> 01:10:48,315 ♪ I'm gettin' better, gettin' better all the time ♪ 931 01:10:52,486 --> 01:10:54,387 [Nick] Hey, hey, hold up. 932 01:10:54,421 --> 01:10:55,923 Hold up. You got a place to go? 933 01:10:57,625 --> 01:10:58,760 Yeah, sure. 934 01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:01,328 [Nick] There's other spots you can try. 935 01:11:01,361 --> 01:11:03,263 Yeah, everyone's really rolling out the red carpet these days. 936 01:11:04,699 --> 01:11:07,902 -[indistinct screaming] -[glass breaking] 937 01:11:11,506 --> 01:11:13,473 [Nick] Francis, don't. 938 01:11:13,875 --> 01:11:15,543 Come on, Francis. 939 01:11:15,576 --> 01:11:17,812 [Francis] 'Cause I ain't got nothing left! 940 01:11:17,845 --> 01:11:20,047 [Nick] Please, will you just go inside? 941 01:11:20,081 --> 01:11:21,348 Francis. 942 01:11:26,521 --> 01:11:27,889 [Mrs. Dyer] People come and go. 943 01:11:27,922 --> 01:11:29,657 If you want it, you want it. 944 01:11:29,690 --> 01:11:32,593 If you don't, don't take someone else's bed. 945 01:11:33,194 --> 01:11:35,362 There's a box of donated clothes in the corner. 946 01:11:41,102 --> 01:11:42,670 [Nell] Looks like you made it. 947 01:12:10,064 --> 01:12:11,331 Look... 948 01:12:13,568 --> 01:12:14,669 I don't know what I'm doing. 949 01:12:16,671 --> 01:12:17,772 Are you on anything? 950 01:12:19,439 --> 01:12:20,775 No, I'm clean. 951 01:12:23,711 --> 01:12:25,345 Plus, I don't even got any money. 952 01:12:25,947 --> 01:12:27,582 Has that ever stopped you before? 953 01:12:31,519 --> 01:12:32,620 Whatever. 954 01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:46,767 I'm not gonna fuck you. 955 01:12:47,134 --> 01:12:49,369 [Nick chuckles] 956 01:12:51,873 --> 01:12:52,940 I'm sorry. 957 01:12:55,910 --> 01:12:56,978 [Chama sighs] 958 01:13:00,815 --> 01:13:01,916 Why are you here? 959 01:13:02,415 --> 01:13:05,385 Because I need to get my daughter back. 960 01:13:13,460 --> 01:13:14,896 Because I need to be normal. 961 01:13:18,766 --> 01:13:20,101 You know what that word means? 962 01:13:21,202 --> 01:13:23,204 The usual, the average, 963 01:13:23,237 --> 01:13:25,806 the typical state or condition. 964 01:13:27,541 --> 01:13:28,743 What's normal to you? 965 01:13:31,879 --> 01:13:32,980 I don't know. 966 01:13:33,981 --> 01:13:35,082 [Nick] Think about it. 967 01:13:43,891 --> 01:13:46,160 Two girls drinking at a party. 968 01:13:49,897 --> 01:13:51,699 One stops when it's empty. 969 01:13:52,733 --> 01:13:54,835 For the other, it never ends. 970 01:13:55,903 --> 01:13:57,538 So you want to be able to drink-- 971 01:13:57,571 --> 01:13:58,673 No! 972 01:14:00,007 --> 01:14:01,742 I don't fucking need this shit. 973 01:14:08,816 --> 01:14:10,818 Look, it don't have to be easy, 974 01:14:10,851 --> 01:14:13,754 but just, like, fair, you know? 975 01:14:13,788 --> 01:14:15,790 Nothing in life is fair. 976 01:14:15,823 --> 01:14:16,924 [Chama] We'll see. 977 01:14:17,959 --> 01:14:19,492 What do you know about it? 978 01:14:22,129 --> 01:14:24,732 I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 30. 979 01:14:24,765 --> 01:14:26,067 My parents won't talk to me. 980 01:14:26,100 --> 01:14:28,602 My first boyfriend ended in assault 981 01:14:28,636 --> 01:14:30,503 and my last one cheated on me. 982 01:14:30,938 --> 01:14:32,540 I would love a drink, 983 01:14:32,573 --> 01:14:34,141 but I haven't had one in 12 years. 984 01:14:34,909 --> 01:14:37,611 Nothing in life is fair, nothing is normal. 985 01:14:38,346 --> 01:14:40,181 But there's beauty if you fight to see it. 986 01:14:45,820 --> 01:14:48,255 -You're gay? -[Nick chuckles] 987 01:14:48,289 --> 01:14:49,857 That's what you took away from that? 988 01:14:54,996 --> 01:14:56,731 You know what I did when I first got sober? 989 01:14:58,232 --> 01:14:59,667 I'm sure you're gonna tell me. 990 01:15:03,604 --> 01:15:05,072 [Nick] I wrote a moment on each of those. 991 01:15:06,707 --> 01:15:08,809 The moments that got me down, the ones that kept me going. 992 01:15:08,843 --> 01:15:10,511 Everything, leading up 'til now. 993 01:15:13,347 --> 01:15:14,949 Sounds like a lot of triggers. 994 01:15:16,150 --> 01:15:17,985 When you're done, 995 01:15:18,019 --> 01:15:19,220 stick 'em on that wall. 996 01:15:34,969 --> 01:15:36,070 What happened when you were born? 997 01:15:38,272 --> 01:15:39,707 I tried to kill myself. 998 01:15:40,875 --> 01:15:42,309 There you go. 999 01:15:42,343 --> 01:15:43,611 Start from the beginning. 1000 01:15:52,353 --> 01:15:54,055 [deep inhale] 1001 01:15:54,088 --> 01:15:56,891 [Chama] Cord wrapped around my neck. 1002 01:15:56,924 --> 01:15:58,592 It was my first struggle. 1003 01:15:58,626 --> 01:16:01,862 [intense music plays] 1004 01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:06,901 This world. 1005 01:16:08,369 --> 01:16:09,737 School. 1006 01:16:09,770 --> 01:16:11,639 I failed. 1007 01:16:11,672 --> 01:16:14,775 If I can fix cars I can fix anything. 1008 01:16:18,646 --> 01:16:21,382 My mother's new boyfriend. 1009 01:16:21,415 --> 01:16:23,751 -My new boyfriend. -[panting] 1010 01:16:23,784 --> 01:16:26,754 He called me beautiful, ugly. 1011 01:16:26,787 --> 01:16:28,289 [Santi] Look at this place, mija. 1012 01:16:28,322 --> 01:16:29,890 [Chama] [indistinct] 1013 01:16:29,924 --> 01:16:31,325 [Santi] This is what you dreamed of. 1014 01:16:31,358 --> 01:16:32,726 [Mari] You gave me no fucking choice 1015 01:16:32,760 --> 01:16:33,794 and you have to live with it! 1016 01:16:33,828 --> 01:16:35,062 You did this, Elena. 1017 01:16:35,096 --> 01:16:36,797 [Chama] Transforming. 1018 01:16:37,264 --> 01:16:38,732 [Santi] Shut your fucking mouth. 1019 01:16:39,767 --> 01:16:42,103 [Chama] Santi. A dealer. 1020 01:16:42,970 --> 01:16:44,872 My first kiss. 1021 01:16:44,905 --> 01:16:47,274 Curious. [indistinct] 1022 01:16:49,276 --> 01:16:53,013 [indistinct ruminating] 1023 01:16:54,849 --> 01:16:57,751 [Chama] Play the same song over and over. 1024 01:16:57,785 --> 01:16:59,653 I stuck a needle in my veins. 1025 01:16:59,687 --> 01:17:01,388 My sister listened to me. 1026 01:17:01,422 --> 01:17:03,691 My sister wouldn't ask if I came home. 1027 01:17:03,724 --> 01:17:05,392 Abuelo used to say 1028 01:17:05,426 --> 01:17:07,128 that if you find a black feather... 1029 01:17:08,229 --> 01:17:09,630 it's a warning. 1030 01:17:12,733 --> 01:17:14,735 [woman] Come on, come on, we don't have much time. 1031 01:17:20,841 --> 01:17:22,243 [Chama] I love you. 1032 01:17:22,276 --> 01:17:24,812 I love you, I love you. 1033 01:17:24,845 --> 01:17:27,648 [indistinct ruminating] 1034 01:17:36,357 --> 01:17:38,692 -[Santi grunts] -[screaming] 1035 01:17:38,726 --> 01:17:40,794 [Toaster] Where are you going, Chama? 1036 01:17:41,228 --> 01:17:42,730 You broke it! 1037 01:17:45,299 --> 01:17:47,968 [Chama] I am my mother's lost sisters. 1038 01:17:48,002 --> 01:17:51,405 [indistinct, overlapping ruminating] 1039 01:17:54,509 --> 01:17:56,677 -The dealer. -[car horn honks] 1040 01:18:01,516 --> 01:18:02,816 Scared. 1041 01:18:05,486 --> 01:18:08,355 [serene music plays] 1042 01:18:14,395 --> 01:18:15,796 Always felt like home here. 1043 01:18:16,497 --> 01:18:18,999 -The river. -It's dirty. 1044 01:18:19,033 --> 01:18:20,768 Half the time it doesn't even have water. 1045 01:18:24,471 --> 01:18:26,240 You find what it is you were looking for? 1046 01:18:26,273 --> 01:18:28,709 -Don't be like that. -Like what, Chama? 1047 01:18:29,376 --> 01:18:30,411 Like your mother? 1048 01:18:30,978 --> 01:18:32,279 What else have you got? 1049 01:18:41,121 --> 01:18:43,490 Your Abuelo used to say, "I don't need a watch-- 1050 01:18:43,525 --> 01:18:44,792 I got the river." 1051 01:18:54,101 --> 01:18:55,202 If you leave... 1052 01:18:56,470 --> 01:18:58,272 I don't ever want to see you again. 1053 01:19:01,375 --> 01:19:03,444 [Chama] I wish I would've put my arms around you. 1054 01:19:04,445 --> 01:19:05,746 One last time. 1055 01:19:07,281 --> 01:19:10,284 I wish I would have held you, felt you, 1056 01:19:10,317 --> 01:19:12,286 smelled that lipstick. 1057 01:19:12,319 --> 01:19:15,089 I wish I would have been home when they found you. 1058 01:19:15,122 --> 01:19:16,991 I hated you. 1059 01:19:17,024 --> 01:19:18,792 I blamed you. 1060 01:19:18,826 --> 01:19:20,894 I skipped your funeral and Mari hated me. 1061 01:19:23,464 --> 01:19:26,133 But I pretend in that last moment... 1062 01:19:27,368 --> 01:19:29,803 you saw something beautiful. 1063 01:19:56,230 --> 01:19:57,464 [Nell] I used to be married. 1064 01:19:59,199 --> 01:20:01,168 He's famous, I can't tell you who it was. 1065 01:20:02,537 --> 01:20:04,004 [Chama] Okay. 1066 01:20:05,439 --> 01:20:06,907 I was independent though. 1067 01:20:07,542 --> 01:20:09,511 Yeah, I loved to work. 1068 01:20:09,544 --> 01:20:12,212 I ran five restaurants. 1069 01:20:12,246 --> 01:20:15,382 I mean, most people only, like, oversee one. 1070 01:20:15,416 --> 01:20:17,051 Wanna know how many I ran? 1071 01:20:18,586 --> 01:20:20,254 -[Chama] Five? -Five! 1072 01:20:21,155 --> 01:20:23,857 Yeah, they respected me. 1073 01:20:23,891 --> 01:20:25,092 You know, like... 1074 01:20:25,826 --> 01:20:27,461 I wasn't a bitch to them or anything 1075 01:20:27,494 --> 01:20:29,863 if that's what you're thinking, 1076 01:20:29,897 --> 01:20:31,131 but I was the boss. 1077 01:20:32,299 --> 01:20:33,901 You should see the way they looked at me 1078 01:20:33,934 --> 01:20:35,235 when I walked into a Chili's. 1079 01:20:36,503 --> 01:20:38,238 [Chama] Nell likes to talk. 1080 01:20:38,272 --> 01:20:40,508 -[Nell speaking indistinctly] -[Chama] A lot. 1081 01:20:40,542 --> 01:20:43,143 She says she first tried heroin at age ten. 1082 01:20:43,177 --> 01:20:45,145 Given to her by a neighbor. 1083 01:20:45,179 --> 01:20:48,550 She told her father, who went to her and beat her. 1084 01:20:48,583 --> 01:20:50,484 She started cutting her knuckles in high school, 1085 01:20:50,518 --> 01:20:53,020 but her sister found out and threw away the razors. 1086 01:20:54,656 --> 01:20:57,391 All her friends worked at a local Chili's. 1087 01:20:57,424 --> 01:20:59,493 Nell claims she did, too. 1088 01:20:59,527 --> 01:21:02,963 She goes on and on and on about it. 1089 01:21:02,996 --> 01:21:05,199 I just want to scrub a toilet in peace. 1090 01:21:05,232 --> 01:21:07,201 Yeah, I don't really like Chili's. 1091 01:21:09,002 --> 01:21:10,538 Oh, you're one of those... 1092 01:21:11,472 --> 01:21:13,173 Applebee's motherfuckers? 1093 01:21:14,975 --> 01:21:16,076 [Nell chuckles] 1094 01:21:19,346 --> 01:21:22,383 Anyways I was doing really well, you know? 1095 01:21:22,416 --> 01:21:23,651 My husband was like... 1096 01:21:23,685 --> 01:21:25,953 [rhythmic vibration] 1097 01:21:38,700 --> 01:21:40,200 [snoring] 1098 01:21:40,234 --> 01:21:43,270 [rhythmic vibration continues] 1099 01:22:01,054 --> 01:22:02,156 [snoring] 1100 01:22:23,477 --> 01:22:25,547 Okay, let's check in. 1101 01:22:27,481 --> 01:22:29,016 It's a cloudy day out there today. 1102 01:22:30,317 --> 01:22:31,653 What's that make everyone think of? 1103 01:22:37,559 --> 01:22:41,161 [siren wailing in distance] 1104 01:22:46,534 --> 01:22:47,602 Rain. 1105 01:22:49,503 --> 01:22:51,573 Makes me think of my son playing in the puddles. 1106 01:22:53,106 --> 01:22:54,208 [Lucy] Sweaters. 1107 01:22:55,810 --> 01:22:58,278 I hate t-shirts and short pants. 1108 01:23:03,518 --> 01:23:04,985 How about you, Gata? 1109 01:23:06,386 --> 01:23:07,522 Go fuck yourself. 1110 01:23:10,257 --> 01:23:11,992 That's what my ma used to always say. 1111 01:23:13,828 --> 01:23:15,295 Clouds remind me of her. 1112 01:23:17,431 --> 01:23:18,566 Every time I'd mess up... 1113 01:23:19,366 --> 01:23:22,002 like, when she'd catch me slipping. 1114 01:23:23,203 --> 01:23:24,271 "Great... 1115 01:23:25,105 --> 01:23:26,508 go fuck yourself, Gata." 1116 01:23:27,709 --> 01:23:29,476 First time I came here, 1117 01:23:29,511 --> 01:23:32,614 -Nick suggested that I say-- -Go love yourself. 1118 01:23:33,046 --> 01:23:35,082 Yeah, so now... 1119 01:23:36,684 --> 01:23:38,285 when I think about my ma... 1120 01:23:39,787 --> 01:23:41,054 it's like... 1121 01:23:43,290 --> 01:23:44,659 Go love yourself, Gata. 1122 01:23:48,328 --> 01:23:50,030 Go love yourself back. 1123 01:24:02,409 --> 01:24:03,578 [Nick sighs] 1124 01:24:11,553 --> 01:24:12,620 Ow! 1125 01:24:16,223 --> 01:24:18,292 [car horns honking] 1126 01:24:22,764 --> 01:24:25,065 Well, I did it, because I wanted to. 1127 01:24:25,900 --> 01:24:27,200 Um... 1128 01:24:28,570 --> 01:24:31,839 I climbed out of the second story window 1129 01:24:31,873 --> 01:24:35,375 at my parents' house and, um, I jumped. 1130 01:24:35,409 --> 01:24:38,078 [chuckles] Probably broke, like, two bones. 1131 01:24:38,746 --> 01:24:41,649 [clears throat] But, you know, he was-- 1132 01:24:42,750 --> 01:24:44,752 he was older, uh... 1133 01:24:46,219 --> 01:24:49,389 he liked me, uh, everyone liked me. 1134 01:24:50,290 --> 01:24:51,391 [chuckles] 1135 01:24:52,860 --> 01:24:55,697 And, um, I wanted to see him. 1136 01:24:56,229 --> 01:25:00,568 So, yeah, we got a little strung out... 1137 01:25:03,571 --> 01:25:04,672 and, uh... 1138 01:25:06,874 --> 01:25:08,241 well, I woke up in a trailer 1139 01:25:08,275 --> 01:25:10,243 with four men... 1140 01:25:11,646 --> 01:25:12,780 that I didn't know. 1141 01:25:14,716 --> 01:25:16,784 I don't even think they knew my name. 1142 01:25:16,818 --> 01:25:18,418 [Nell laughs] 1143 01:25:19,053 --> 01:25:22,657 I had to take Clonazepam, so I wouldn't get seizures. 1144 01:25:23,190 --> 01:25:25,492 But one night after my husband got rough... 1145 01:25:26,628 --> 01:25:28,195 I took too many and OD'd. 1146 01:25:29,262 --> 01:25:31,198 This spark plug is fried. 1147 01:25:31,933 --> 01:25:33,635 [Gata] I got arrested in middle school. 1148 01:25:35,335 --> 01:25:36,638 Sent to Las Nunes. 1149 01:25:37,105 --> 01:25:38,706 He ordered a youth diagnostic. 1150 01:25:39,574 --> 01:25:41,274 I spent Christmas in jail. 1151 01:25:41,308 --> 01:25:42,710 When I got out of the hospital... 1152 01:25:43,811 --> 01:25:44,879 the doctor... 1153 01:25:45,747 --> 01:25:47,481 prescribed me Clonazepam. 1154 01:25:47,882 --> 01:25:49,249 [Gata] But I liked jail. 1155 01:25:49,884 --> 01:25:51,519 No one was gonna molest me there. 1156 01:25:52,954 --> 01:25:55,188 [Shorty] People always ask what's your favorite number. 1157 01:25:55,857 --> 01:25:58,158 I always thought that was a dumbass question. 1158 01:25:58,793 --> 01:25:59,894 Favorite color I get... 1159 01:26:00,595 --> 01:26:02,563 but it's not like you're gonna decorate your house 1160 01:26:02,597 --> 01:26:03,698 in multiples of seven. 1161 01:26:05,298 --> 01:26:07,234 But I'm a survivor of suicide. 1162 01:26:08,703 --> 01:26:10,638 I tried to kill myself eight times. 1163 01:26:12,406 --> 01:26:13,841 I know I won't live to see nine. 1164 01:26:14,942 --> 01:26:16,209 So eight. 1165 01:26:16,978 --> 01:26:18,478 That's my favorite. 1166 01:26:18,513 --> 01:26:20,748 Okay. Should be good. 1167 01:26:24,519 --> 01:26:26,754 -[hood slams shut] -Wow, nice. 1168 01:26:27,755 --> 01:26:28,823 Thanks. 1169 01:26:28,856 --> 01:26:33,895 ♪ 1170 01:26:35,697 --> 01:26:38,833 [whispering indistinctly] 1171 01:26:38,866 --> 01:26:43,905 ♪ 1172 01:26:55,616 --> 01:26:58,351 [Chama] I've already been transferred six times. 1173 01:26:58,385 --> 01:26:59,954 Does anyone actually work there? 1174 01:27:02,523 --> 01:27:03,624 Hello? 1175 01:27:12,365 --> 01:27:13,467 Coke? 1176 01:27:16,037 --> 01:27:17,572 Mostly opiates. 1177 01:27:19,339 --> 01:27:22,777 Mm, no, do you want a Coke? 1178 01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:27,615 -Yeah, Sprite. -Okay. 1179 01:27:30,518 --> 01:27:32,486 [cans opening] 1180 01:27:34,956 --> 01:27:36,758 [slurping] 1181 01:27:48,102 --> 01:27:49,737 I never worked at Chili's. 1182 01:27:52,372 --> 01:27:53,473 [chuckles] 1183 01:27:54,509 --> 01:27:55,710 They wouldn't hire me. 1184 01:28:01,916 --> 01:28:03,751 Maybe you should have tried Applebee's. 1185 01:28:08,488 --> 01:28:09,590 [chuckling] 1186 01:28:24,471 --> 01:28:27,440 [rhythmic vibration] 1187 01:28:53,968 --> 01:28:55,903 He was a penguin, but he was cold all the time, 1188 01:28:55,937 --> 01:28:57,437 so he wore a hat 1189 01:28:57,470 --> 01:28:59,339 and a little muffler around his neck. 1190 01:28:59,807 --> 01:29:01,642 -Nobody? -[chuckling] 1191 01:29:03,410 --> 01:29:04,812 I don't really know what's going on with my head. 1192 01:29:04,846 --> 01:29:06,981 -I don't know. -Okay. 1193 01:29:07,014 --> 01:29:08,415 All right, we're starting. 1194 01:29:10,417 --> 01:29:12,053 -Where's Nell at? -[Nick sighs] 1195 01:29:12,820 --> 01:29:14,088 She left. 1196 01:29:14,822 --> 01:29:16,023 And if she left... 1197 01:29:21,162 --> 01:29:24,431 -[phone hangs] -[dialing] 1198 01:29:25,465 --> 01:29:28,069 [phone ringing] 1199 01:29:28,102 --> 01:29:30,805 [operator] Please hang up and try your call again. 1200 01:29:34,075 --> 01:29:35,610 I've called CPS a million times, 1201 01:29:35,643 --> 01:29:37,144 and all I get is the run around. 1202 01:29:37,178 --> 01:29:39,446 -[Nick] They're busy. -Whose side you on? 1203 01:29:42,049 --> 01:29:43,951 They won't even let me see her, Nick. 1204 01:29:43,985 --> 01:29:45,385 I gotta see her. 1205 01:29:46,053 --> 01:29:47,121 You will. 1206 01:29:49,757 --> 01:29:52,392 -[phone hangs] -[dialing] 1207 01:29:57,765 --> 01:30:00,001 [phone ringing] 1208 01:30:03,871 --> 01:30:06,173 Hey, it's me. Don't hang up. 1209 01:30:06,841 --> 01:30:10,111 [Mrs. Dyer] If you check out, you come back by 8:00 PM. 1210 01:30:10,144 --> 01:30:12,914 If you come back by 8:00 PM, you take a test. 1211 01:30:12,947 --> 01:30:15,182 Anything you bring back will be searched. 1212 01:30:15,216 --> 01:30:17,484 Anything on the list will be confiscated. 1213 01:30:18,085 --> 01:30:19,620 That includes mouthwash. 1214 01:30:20,054 --> 01:30:22,590 Don't think we're not wise on mouthwash. 1215 01:30:27,128 --> 01:30:29,664 -[birds chirping] -[door clicks open] 1216 01:30:31,232 --> 01:30:34,669 -[engine roars] -[door clicks closed] 1217 01:30:41,642 --> 01:30:43,911 [serene music plays] 1218 01:30:43,945 --> 01:30:48,983 ♪ 1219 01:30:56,657 --> 01:30:59,593 [siren wailing in distance] 1220 01:31:08,235 --> 01:31:09,637 [bell rings] 1221 01:31:11,939 --> 01:31:13,007 We're closed. 1222 01:31:13,708 --> 01:31:14,842 That's okay. 1223 01:31:16,711 --> 01:31:18,079 I don't got any money. 1224 01:31:18,980 --> 01:31:20,081 I have somewhere to be. 1225 01:31:20,514 --> 01:31:21,983 Can't get caught up in you right now. 1226 01:31:22,016 --> 01:31:23,617 I'm not in any trouble. 1227 01:31:24,719 --> 01:31:27,021 Well, you know what I mean. 1228 01:31:30,558 --> 01:31:32,193 I heard you've been checking up on Nevaeh. 1229 01:31:34,195 --> 01:31:36,630 Yeah. I understand. 1230 01:31:37,465 --> 01:31:39,266 You're incognizant, you don't give a shit. 1231 01:31:40,167 --> 01:31:42,136 I have enough of my own problems to worry about. 1232 01:31:45,906 --> 01:31:47,508 I can't be your broken record. 1233 01:31:56,050 --> 01:31:57,518 [keys jingling] 1234 01:32:04,225 --> 01:32:05,760 Mari. 1235 01:32:14,301 --> 01:32:15,636 I got shoes on. 1236 01:32:31,385 --> 01:32:34,555 [engine roars] 1237 01:32:38,793 --> 01:32:40,661 [Chama] I keep thinking about Toaster. 1238 01:32:41,695 --> 01:32:42,797 What she told me. 1239 01:32:44,231 --> 01:32:46,634 We gotta fight until we fucking win. 1240 01:32:48,736 --> 01:32:50,805 [bus hissing] 1241 01:32:54,975 --> 01:32:56,977 [distorted music plays] 1242 01:32:57,011 --> 01:33:02,049 ♪ 1243 01:33:11,759 --> 01:33:14,061 [engine roars] 1244 01:33:14,095 --> 01:33:15,763 [Gata] Don't look at me like that. 1245 01:33:15,796 --> 01:33:17,331 [Shorty] She's taking a shit. She'll be-- 1246 01:33:17,364 --> 01:33:19,300 Where are you taking us Nick? Disneyland? 1247 01:33:19,333 --> 01:33:21,402 Yeah, right, I bet he's gonna take us to an NA meeting. 1248 01:33:21,435 --> 01:33:22,937 [Lucy] Yeah, I'd be down for that. 1249 01:33:22,970 --> 01:33:24,105 [Shorty] Come on. 1250 01:33:24,573 --> 01:33:26,140 -Let's go to Splash Mountain. -[Lucy] Yep, yep! 1251 01:33:26,173 --> 01:33:28,075 Come on, Gata. Smile for me. 1252 01:33:28,543 --> 01:33:30,678 Here's your smile, Shorty. 1253 01:33:30,711 --> 01:33:32,746 [Shorty] Don't be like that. Just one. Don't be like that! 1254 01:33:32,780 --> 01:33:34,381 All right. Everybody in. 1255 01:33:34,415 --> 01:33:35,850 [Shorty] Hey, what about Chama? 1256 01:33:35,883 --> 01:33:36,984 [Gata] Yeah, where's Chama at? 1257 01:33:37,418 --> 01:33:38,752 [car door slams shut] 1258 01:33:44,024 --> 01:33:45,326 [Lucy] It's fucking hot in here. 1259 01:33:47,828 --> 01:33:48,929 [Shorty] Come on, girl. 1260 01:33:52,433 --> 01:33:54,368 [Chama] I like the sun on my face. 1261 01:33:57,738 --> 01:34:00,741 It calms the pounding in my chest. 1262 01:34:01,876 --> 01:34:03,344 I wonder where we're going. 1263 01:34:06,180 --> 01:34:08,983 If Nick really gets it. 1264 01:34:09,016 --> 01:34:11,085 I told him the truth. 1265 01:34:11,118 --> 01:34:13,888 About the doctor. That I'm scared. 1266 01:34:13,921 --> 01:34:18,993 ♪ 1267 01:34:25,099 --> 01:34:27,301 The sun feels bright on my face. 1268 01:34:44,451 --> 01:34:45,753 [car door clattering] 1269 01:34:48,756 --> 01:34:50,724 Take this over Magic Kingdom. 1270 01:34:50,758 --> 01:34:52,726 Damn, this shit's no joke. 1271 01:34:56,363 --> 01:34:57,431 Come on, Lucy. 1272 01:35:01,135 --> 01:35:02,236 [car door slams shut] 1273 01:35:02,269 --> 01:35:04,939 [wind whooshing] 1274 01:35:36,437 --> 01:35:39,039 There are thousands of women that can't have kids. 1275 01:35:42,476 --> 01:35:43,978 And God's got jokes. 1276 01:35:48,882 --> 01:35:50,017 You want this baby? 1277 01:35:57,124 --> 01:35:58,993 But I don't deserve either of them. 1278 01:36:06,267 --> 01:36:08,435 My first boyfriend ended in assault. 1279 01:36:11,472 --> 01:36:12,773 Yeah, uh... 1280 01:36:14,975 --> 01:36:16,410 I wasn't the victim. 1281 01:36:23,618 --> 01:36:24,918 I was 18. 1282 01:36:25,620 --> 01:36:26,920 High. 1283 01:36:28,956 --> 01:36:30,558 Made a terrible decision, 1284 01:36:30,592 --> 01:36:34,161 ended up hurting the one person that I truly loved. 1285 01:36:40,200 --> 01:36:42,903 Spent some time locked up, hating myself. 1286 01:36:44,305 --> 01:36:46,073 Yeah, that never really goes away. 1287 01:36:49,977 --> 01:36:53,447 But if you can turn guilt, 1288 01:36:53,480 --> 01:36:55,316 hate into something else... 1289 01:37:00,354 --> 01:37:02,557 you can do something for the world 1290 01:37:02,590 --> 01:37:05,092 that's beyond yourself. 1291 01:37:05,125 --> 01:37:07,562 [wind whooshing] 1292 01:37:15,402 --> 01:37:16,904 We're at the bottom of a hill. 1293 01:37:18,640 --> 01:37:19,907 Can you climb? 1294 01:37:24,478 --> 01:37:27,214 [crickets chirping] 1295 01:37:40,227 --> 01:37:41,395 [knocking on door] 1296 01:37:43,230 --> 01:37:45,966 -[door clicks open] -[upbeat rock music plays] 1297 01:37:52,072 --> 01:37:54,108 [serene music plays] 1298 01:37:54,141 --> 01:37:58,879 ♪ 1299 01:38:30,244 --> 01:38:33,046 [indiscernible whispering] 1300 01:38:41,088 --> 01:38:42,189 [screaming] 1301 01:38:42,222 --> 01:38:44,425 [whispering continues] 1302 01:38:49,764 --> 01:38:51,465 [sighs] 1303 01:38:51,498 --> 01:38:54,636 [whispering continues] 1304 01:38:54,669 --> 01:39:00,107 ♪ 1305 01:39:09,416 --> 01:39:12,152 [panting] 1306 01:39:20,762 --> 01:39:23,397 [both panting] 1307 01:39:32,339 --> 01:39:33,440 The 15th. 1308 01:39:35,476 --> 01:39:36,544 Next Friday. 1309 01:39:39,246 --> 01:39:40,481 You'll get to see your daughter. 1310 01:39:40,515 --> 01:39:43,484 [both panting] 1311 01:39:56,129 --> 01:39:59,299 [shouting] 1312 01:40:00,234 --> 01:40:03,470 [Gata panting] 1313 01:40:17,417 --> 01:40:19,486 [Chama] My name isn't really Chama. 1314 01:40:22,289 --> 01:40:25,425 I saw this postcard once of a mother and daughter 1315 01:40:25,459 --> 01:40:27,695 standing outside Chama, New Mexico. 1316 01:40:29,296 --> 01:40:31,265 I wanted to live in that postcard. 1317 01:40:36,203 --> 01:40:37,304 I talk to my mom. 1318 01:40:39,807 --> 01:40:41,074 And tell her things... 1319 01:40:42,276 --> 01:40:43,410 but not in real life... 1320 01:40:44,144 --> 01:40:46,246 because this reality took her away. 1321 01:40:50,284 --> 01:40:52,687 I talk to her, because I got to try 1322 01:40:52,720 --> 01:40:54,454 to understand my scars... 1323 01:40:56,290 --> 01:40:58,158 and not just pick at my scabs. 1324 01:41:06,534 --> 01:41:08,101 I've been through a lot of shit. 1325 01:41:10,638 --> 01:41:12,507 I've put people through... 1326 01:41:13,808 --> 01:41:15,075 a lot more. 1327 01:41:17,812 --> 01:41:19,079 It's not fair. 1328 01:41:21,849 --> 01:41:23,283 But like Nick says... 1329 01:41:25,252 --> 01:41:26,386 "Nothing is fair... 1330 01:41:27,454 --> 01:41:28,590 nothing is normal." 1331 01:41:33,895 --> 01:41:35,162 What have I done? 1332 01:41:38,766 --> 01:41:39,834 What am I doing? 1333 01:41:42,937 --> 01:41:44,504 If I'm not Chama, then... 1334 01:41:47,508 --> 01:41:48,610 who am I? 1335 01:41:48,943 --> 01:41:51,378 [wind whooshing] 1336 01:42:03,524 --> 01:42:04,626 I'm an addict. 1337 01:42:08,930 --> 01:42:10,765 I've slept on the streets, but... 1338 01:42:12,399 --> 01:42:13,768 I'm not homeless. 1339 01:42:17,672 --> 01:42:18,940 I'm terrified. 1340 01:42:18,973 --> 01:42:21,843 [soft string instrumental plays] 1341 01:42:25,847 --> 01:42:27,147 We need help. 1342 01:42:28,950 --> 01:42:30,217 I will help. 1343 01:42:30,250 --> 01:42:35,523 ♪ 1344 01:42:41,829 --> 01:42:42,897 I'm here... 1345 01:42:43,898 --> 01:42:45,198 and I will be a mother. 1346 01:42:47,702 --> 01:42:48,770 I am a mother. 1347 01:42:48,803 --> 01:42:53,841 ♪ 1348 01:43:07,588 --> 01:43:09,524 [door creaks open] 1349 01:43:09,557 --> 01:43:12,325 [serene music plays] 1350 01:43:12,359 --> 01:43:17,431 ♪ 1351 01:43:30,410 --> 01:43:33,514 [sobbing] 1352 01:43:41,522 --> 01:43:42,623 [sniffs] 1353 01:43:42,657 --> 01:43:47,695 ♪ 1354 01:44:01,341 --> 01:44:02,844 [soft music plays] 1355 01:44:02,877 --> 01:44:07,915 ♪ 1356 01:44:07,949 --> 01:44:09,550 [sighs] 1357 01:44:35,610 --> 01:44:38,713 [bus engine winds down] 1358 01:44:41,916 --> 01:44:43,084 [bus doors open] 1359 01:44:43,117 --> 01:44:46,521 [engine revs] 1360 01:44:53,094 --> 01:44:57,031 [music intensifies] 1361 01:45:15,482 --> 01:45:19,854 [singing in Spanish] 1362 01:45:19,887 --> 01:45:24,926 ♪ 1363 01:45:51,018 --> 01:45:54,889 ♪ Flower of the flowers flowers from above ♪ 1364 01:45:54,922 --> 01:45:59,426 ♪ Today and forever, know you have my love ♪ 1365 01:45:59,459 --> 01:46:03,496 ♪ Flower of the flowers flowers from above ♪ 1366 01:46:03,531 --> 01:46:07,802 ♪ Today and forever, know you have my love ♪ 1367 01:46:07,835 --> 01:46:09,971 [singing in Spanish] 1368 01:46:10,004 --> 01:46:15,042 ♪ 1369 01:47:21,208 --> 01:47:23,177 -[woman] Love you, Peggy. -[girl] Love you, Mama. 1370 01:47:24,912 --> 01:47:28,182 ["I Remember You" by Weedrat plays] 1371 01:47:37,725 --> 01:47:42,797 ♪ You came into my life ♪ 1372 01:47:44,165 --> 01:47:49,469 ♪ [indistinct lyrics] ♪ 1373 01:47:50,838 --> 01:47:56,210 ♪ Like you've always been ♪ 1374 01:47:56,243 --> 01:48:01,481 ♪ By my side ♪ 1375 01:48:03,751 --> 01:48:10,224 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1376 01:48:10,257 --> 01:48:16,030 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1377 01:48:16,063 --> 01:48:21,702 ♪ All right ♪ 1378 01:48:22,703 --> 01:48:27,742 ♪ All right ♪ 1379 01:48:30,911 --> 01:48:35,216 ♪ Came into my life ♪ 1380 01:48:36,917 --> 01:48:43,324 ♪ And it became clear to me ♪ 1381 01:48:43,357 --> 01:48:48,729 ♪ Like you've always been ♪ 1382 01:48:48,763 --> 01:48:54,135 ♪ By my side ♪ 1383 01:48:56,604 --> 01:49:03,077 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1384 01:49:03,110 --> 01:49:08,883 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1385 01:49:08,916 --> 01:49:13,921 ♪ All right ♪ 1386 01:49:15,689 --> 01:49:19,126 ♪ All right ♪ 1387 01:49:19,160 --> 01:49:24,198 ♪ 1388 01:49:49,023 --> 01:49:54,695 ♪ You came into my life ♪ 1389 01:49:55,963 --> 01:50:02,770 ♪ And it became clear to me ♪ 1390 01:50:02,803 --> 01:50:09,009 ♪ That you'd always be ♪ 1391 01:50:09,043 --> 01:50:14,615 ♪ By my side ♪ 1392 01:50:16,884 --> 01:50:23,390 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1393 01:50:23,424 --> 01:50:29,230 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1394 01:50:29,263 --> 01:50:34,635 ♪ All right ♪ 1395 01:50:36,337 --> 01:50:40,908 ♪ All right ♪ 1396 01:50:43,077 --> 01:50:47,982 ♪ All right ♪ 1397 01:50:55,289 --> 01:50:57,324 [music ends] 95693