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1
00:01:19,984 --> 00:01:22,421
Okay. So these are the rules.
2
00:01:22,552 --> 00:01:24,859
You have to get
from here to there
3
00:01:24,946 --> 00:01:27,775
without touching the
floor or the light.
4
00:01:27,905 --> 00:01:29,777
All right, Bearbear,
you can do this.
5
00:01:29,907 --> 00:01:32,040
Just have to go slow, okay?
6
00:01:44,139 --> 00:01:46,141
You can do it, Bearbear.
You just have to jump.
7
00:01:47,055 --> 00:01:48,186
Okay, ready?
8
00:02:12,515 --> 00:02:14,865
Sometimes I can feel
the sky as it rotates.
9
00:02:20,088 --> 00:02:22,568
It scatters my thoughts,
creating this...
10
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:25,615
sound.
11
00:02:27,922 --> 00:02:29,010
And it'll grow louder.
12
00:02:31,099 --> 00:02:32,013
More aggressive.
13
00:02:34,798 --> 00:02:36,017
Like two people fighting.
14
00:02:39,237 --> 00:02:41,892
I look up and I know I
can keep my shit together.
15
00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:45,896
And then it rains.
16
00:03:53,921 --> 00:03:55,487
It's gonna stop, baby girl.
17
00:03:55,618 --> 00:03:58,490
If it doesn't, I'll be
the only kid in class
18
00:03:58,577 --> 00:03:59,840
with an indoor swimming pool.
19
00:04:01,319 --> 00:04:03,974
Ooh, quefancy.
20
00:04:06,281 --> 00:04:08,152
You don't need a
flood to stand out.
21
00:04:09,066 --> 00:04:10,981
You've got grease
all over your face.
22
00:04:13,505 --> 00:04:16,030
Oh, yeah. You, like,
totally got it now.
23
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,814
It looks all bad.
24
00:04:26,649 --> 00:04:27,868
It will grow louder.
25
00:04:30,783 --> 00:04:32,176
The lights will turn off.
26
00:04:34,135 --> 00:04:35,092
The roof will cave in.
27
00:04:38,574 --> 00:04:39,923
Everything will fall apart.
28
00:04:43,361 --> 00:04:44,710
And I wonder if you can hear me.
29
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:13,914
Don't let go.
30
00:05:15,437 --> 00:05:16,394
Don't let go.
31
00:05:17,874 --> 00:05:18,919
Please.
32
00:05:37,111 --> 00:05:38,590
Hold your hand.
33
00:05:38,721 --> 00:05:41,376
No, don't let me. It's
my fault. I did it.
34
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,205
Who's she talking to?
35
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,600
Jesus.
36
00:05:48,992 --> 00:05:50,124
Is he listening?
37
00:05:51,255 --> 00:05:52,300
I don't know, baby girl.
38
00:05:53,605 --> 00:05:54,911
Is she crazy?
39
00:06:01,483 --> 00:06:02,701
I don't know, baby girl.
40
00:06:02,832 --> 00:06:03,789
You're on fire.
41
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,139
You set it on fire!
42
00:06:07,271 --> 00:06:10,492
I'm holding your fucking hand,
43
00:06:10,622 --> 00:06:13,408
fuck you, you fucking ugly
fucker, fucker, fucker...
44
00:06:13,495 --> 00:06:16,889
Hold your hand. I'm
holding your hand.
45
00:06:31,426 --> 00:06:32,586
You got lost, Chama, or what?
46
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:34,820
Where you going?
47
00:06:36,735 --> 00:06:38,302
Don't be all nosy, Matias.
48
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,479
She has a job interview.
49
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,438
Oh, where at?
50
00:06:43,829 --> 00:06:45,135
You my PO now or something?
51
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,976
Look, it's, like, a good
job opportunity, okay?
52
00:07:00,498 --> 00:07:02,152
Gonna pay real good,
53
00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:03,683
then you won't be
seeing us no more.
54
00:07:07,418 --> 00:07:08,506
Who names their kid Chama?
55
00:07:11,161 --> 00:07:12,467
It's short for Elena.
56
00:07:14,469 --> 00:07:16,384
- No, it isn't.
- It is, if I say it is.
57
00:07:17,515 --> 00:07:19,555
Anybody ever tell you you
got spiders in your veins?
58
00:07:19,604 --> 00:07:21,244
Anyone ever tell you
to put on some shoes?
59
00:07:31,181 --> 00:07:32,835
Come on, baby, get your bag.
60
00:07:35,359 --> 00:07:36,230
That you?
61
00:07:37,187 --> 00:07:38,319
Yeah, that's me.
62
00:07:38,797 --> 00:07:40,147
Hey, good luck out there.
63
00:07:45,108 --> 00:07:46,805
Let me see.
64
00:07:47,632 --> 00:07:49,567
You're gonna lose everything if
you don't close your backpack.
65
00:07:49,591 --> 00:07:51,375
Come on. Got
everything you need?
66
00:07:52,115 --> 00:07:54,161
Mm-hmm.
67
00:07:54,248 --> 00:07:55,573
I'm gonna be right here,
waiting for you after school.
68
00:07:55,597 --> 00:07:56,424
Really?
69
00:07:57,207 --> 00:07:58,687
Yes, really.
70
00:07:58,817 --> 00:08:00,012
Are you gonna give
me shit today, too?
71
00:08:00,036 --> 00:08:01,429
Come on.
72
00:08:01,559 --> 00:08:02,908
- I love you.
- I love you.
73
00:08:07,348 --> 00:08:08,436
Have fun.
74
00:08:23,755 --> 00:08:25,279
I remember being her age.
75
00:08:28,282 --> 00:08:29,562
That's when I
learned how to lie.
76
00:08:31,023 --> 00:08:32,764
I used to tell
teachers I was sick.
77
00:08:33,287 --> 00:08:34,567
That's why I was missing school.
78
00:08:36,638 --> 00:08:38,379
When I did go, I
tried to blend in.
79
00:08:39,206 --> 00:08:41,077
I brushed my hair,
80
00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:42,339
cleaned my nails...
81
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:46,430
but inside I felt ants
crawling up my skin.
82
00:08:48,476 --> 00:08:50,739
I just wanted to grow up, so
everything would be better.
83
00:08:50,869 --> 00:08:52,001
Give me a chance.
84
00:08:54,308 --> 00:08:55,439
I can do the work.
85
00:08:57,267 --> 00:08:58,399
I can!
86
00:08:58,877 --> 00:09:00,357
I'm sure you can.
87
00:09:01,053 --> 00:09:03,752
Come on, quiz me.
I know this shit.
88
00:09:03,882 --> 00:09:05,202
When I was younger
I used to watch
89
00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:06,755
my abuelo tear cars apart.
90
00:09:07,321 --> 00:09:08,844
He taught me
literally everything.
91
00:09:09,584 --> 00:09:12,021
I got an '85 Buick
LeSabre I rebuilt.
92
00:09:12,804 --> 00:09:14,197
Runs perfectly...
93
00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:16,199
if it had a fuel pump.
94
00:09:16,852 --> 00:09:18,549
But I can't get a new fuel pump
95
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,560
if I don't got a job and
if I don't got a job...
96
00:09:21,552 --> 00:09:22,945
Look.
97
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,880
I'm just trying to get
back on my feet, okay?
98
00:09:31,127 --> 00:09:32,128
I have a daughter.
99
00:09:35,914 --> 00:09:38,265
Look, the economy's
kicking my ass.
100
00:09:38,395 --> 00:09:39,831
I'm just not hiring right now.
101
00:11:30,725 --> 00:11:33,118
Abueloused to say that if
you find a black feather...
102
00:11:36,644 --> 00:11:37,732
it's a warning.
103
00:15:56,904 --> 00:15:58,340
We made dinner.
104
00:15:58,470 --> 00:15:59,750
There's some left in the fridge.
105
00:16:00,734 --> 00:16:02,039
She's sleeping, Elena.
106
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,563
She's my daughter.
107
00:16:04,215 --> 00:16:05,521
I know she's sleeping, okay?
108
00:16:06,696 --> 00:16:08,219
Don't look at me like that.
109
00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:11,353
- You're in my home.
- That the state pays for.
110
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,012
I was robbed, okay?
111
00:16:18,665 --> 00:16:19,785
Don't pretend like you care.
112
00:16:21,145 --> 00:16:22,843
Because if you gave two shits,
113
00:16:22,973 --> 00:16:24,627
you'd drive around
and look for them.
114
00:16:24,758 --> 00:16:27,021
Oh, I would drive around
and look for your shoes?
115
00:16:27,108 --> 00:16:28,955
Why would you ever want to
look for the imaginary person
116
00:16:28,979 --> 00:16:30,198
who stole your shoes, Elena?
117
00:16:30,328 --> 00:16:31,808
That's not my name.
118
00:16:31,939 --> 00:16:33,219
Stop talking to me like a child.
119
00:16:33,810 --> 00:16:35,090
You know, Friday's her birthday.
120
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:36,683
I fucking know
Friday's her birthday.
121
00:16:36,813 --> 00:16:38,206
If you weren't my sister...
122
00:16:38,293 --> 00:16:40,774
So, what? You'd
go? So fucking go!
123
00:16:40,904 --> 00:16:42,471
You are just like Mom.
124
00:16:43,994 --> 00:16:45,256
One of these times...
125
00:16:45,779 --> 00:16:46,899
they're gonna take her away.
126
00:16:50,827 --> 00:16:52,307
Get the fuck out of my house.
127
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:54,439
Get the fuck out!
128
00:19:07,268 --> 00:19:08,748
You know, I used to
have this dream...
129
00:19:09,792 --> 00:19:11,011
that I got, like, no face...
130
00:19:12,055 --> 00:19:14,405
and I'm just a shadow,
131
00:19:14,536 --> 00:19:15,755
floating over the desert.
132
00:19:18,148 --> 00:19:20,890
And I got, like,
this bag of hammers
133
00:19:21,021 --> 00:19:23,110
and I'm just, like,
chucking them at cows.
134
00:19:23,806 --> 00:19:25,286
What do you think that means?
135
00:19:25,895 --> 00:19:27,462
That you need serious help.
136
00:19:27,592 --> 00:19:29,638
Toaster always showed
up when I needed her.
137
00:19:37,559 --> 00:19:39,387
You can't just, like, open it.
138
00:19:39,517 --> 00:19:41,955
- Why not?
- You broke it.
139
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,000
Last year, Nevaeh loved red.
140
00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:47,961
I think this year, she
likes the color purple.
141
00:19:49,527 --> 00:19:51,791
Like that Oprah
movie about racism?
142
00:19:54,228 --> 00:19:56,056
Balloons.
143
00:20:06,544 --> 00:20:08,068
You never, like,
look up your dreams
144
00:20:08,198 --> 00:20:09,318
and find out what they mean?
145
00:20:11,071 --> 00:20:11,985
I don't dream.
146
00:20:13,247 --> 00:20:15,162
Every bitch dreams.
147
00:20:15,292 --> 00:20:17,120
Come on, you probably
just don't remember it.
148
00:20:17,251 --> 00:20:18,382
Mm-mm.
149
00:20:21,516 --> 00:20:23,636
Maybe that's what I'll study
when I go back to school.
150
00:20:25,999 --> 00:20:27,130
Why Chama don't dream?
151
00:20:30,394 --> 00:20:32,222
Stupid. Siempre.
152
00:20:32,353 --> 00:20:34,703
No.
153
00:20:35,530 --> 00:20:37,184
No, for serious.
154
00:20:39,012 --> 00:20:41,362
I'm going back.
155
00:20:41,492 --> 00:20:43,886
Toaster is one of those
bitches from the Heights.
156
00:20:44,017 --> 00:20:45,932
She actually knew her father.
157
00:20:46,019 --> 00:20:47,977
He'd buy her things.
158
00:20:48,108 --> 00:20:50,371
She never worried about nothing.
159
00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:52,852
Toaster was all cool.
160
00:20:52,982 --> 00:20:54,331
And I wanted to be her.
161
00:20:56,203 --> 00:20:57,204
She was a dreamer.
162
00:20:58,031 --> 00:20:58,988
I'm going back.
163
00:21:01,338 --> 00:21:02,557
My dad's gonna pay.
164
00:21:04,515 --> 00:21:06,300
It's gonna be like it
used to be, you know?
165
00:21:07,605 --> 00:21:08,868
He's gonna be proud of me.
166
00:21:11,609 --> 00:21:13,209
I don't know, maybe
I'll be just, like...
167
00:21:14,308 --> 00:21:16,005
some counselor, you know?
168
00:21:18,181 --> 00:21:20,357
Like, help all
these bitches out.
169
00:21:23,404 --> 00:21:24,666
I could tell 'em what's up.
170
00:21:28,104 --> 00:21:30,280
Toaster always showed
up when I needed her.
171
00:21:30,411 --> 00:21:32,892
She'd help me fix everything.
172
00:21:38,114 --> 00:21:39,681
I can make my daughter happy.
173
00:21:44,599 --> 00:21:46,383
I can keep my shit together.
174
00:21:54,304 --> 00:21:56,045
I can make my daughter happy.
175
00:21:56,176 --> 00:21:57,917
I can make my daughter happy.
176
00:22:06,664 --> 00:22:10,277
I can make my daughter happy.
177
00:22:10,407 --> 00:22:13,193
I can make my daughter happy.
I can make my daughter happy.
178
00:22:13,323 --> 00:22:15,543
I can make my daughter happy.
179
00:22:15,673 --> 00:22:17,608
I can keep my shit together.
I can make my daughter happy.
180
00:22:17,632 --> 00:22:18,938
I can make my daughter happy.
181
00:22:20,678 --> 00:22:22,245
I can keep my shit together.
182
00:22:23,681 --> 00:22:25,379
I can make my daughter happy.
183
00:22:28,512 --> 00:22:30,253
I can keep my shit together.
184
00:23:49,115 --> 00:23:50,290
Hey, baby girl, what's wrong?
185
00:23:51,378 --> 00:23:52,379
I don't know.
186
00:23:53,423 --> 00:23:54,642
Hey.
187
00:23:54,772 --> 00:23:56,165
Don't let bullshit push you.
188
00:24:04,304 --> 00:24:05,914
Sometimes I just
want to hide, too.
189
00:24:08,351 --> 00:24:09,396
Just, like, run away.
190
00:24:13,182 --> 00:24:14,879
But everybody's already here,
191
00:24:15,010 --> 00:24:17,056
so you might as well just
take all their presents.
192
00:24:27,588 --> 00:24:29,416
You were born two months
early, you know why?
193
00:24:30,504 --> 00:24:31,809
Hmm?
194
00:24:32,897 --> 00:24:34,899
Because you were so
excited to meet your mama.
195
00:24:36,553 --> 00:24:38,077
And I was to meet you.
196
00:24:40,601 --> 00:24:41,950
There she is.
197
00:24:46,781 --> 00:24:48,435
You're my baby girl,
you're all I got.
198
00:24:50,567 --> 00:24:51,568
You're all I got.
199
00:24:56,225 --> 00:24:57,531
I hope that's not true.
200
00:25:00,490 --> 00:25:02,449
Go on. Have fun,
it's your birthday.
201
00:25:51,411 --> 00:25:52,629
I can keep my shit.
202
00:25:56,416 --> 00:25:57,634
Elena?
203
00:26:28,578 --> 00:26:29,538
Elena, are you in there?
204
00:26:43,419 --> 00:26:45,291
Come on. Open up.
205
00:26:45,378 --> 00:26:46,770
Elena.
206
00:26:47,467 --> 00:26:48,907
I've been looking
for you everywhere.
207
00:26:50,383 --> 00:26:52,472
You did all right... good, okay?
208
00:26:53,777 --> 00:26:55,214
Not out here to talk shit.
209
00:26:58,826 --> 00:27:00,219
Hey.
210
00:27:02,699 --> 00:27:04,048
Let's just go out and sing.
211
00:27:18,672 --> 00:27:19,673
Look, you know what?
212
00:27:21,805 --> 00:27:23,111
You don't get to do this.
213
00:27:24,678 --> 00:27:26,245
Not today, this isn't about you.
214
00:27:31,075 --> 00:27:33,730
You think you're so special
215
00:27:33,861 --> 00:27:35,621
and that nobody else
matters, but guess what?
216
00:27:37,386 --> 00:27:38,561
They do.
217
00:28:03,325 --> 00:28:04,457
Somebody help me!
218
00:28:06,546 --> 00:28:08,156
Somebody help!
219
00:28:11,333 --> 00:28:12,378
Now!
220
00:28:26,740 --> 00:28:28,020
I know what you
all are thinking.
221
00:28:28,785 --> 00:28:30,352
Shit gets all fucked.
222
00:28:30,874 --> 00:28:32,267
But that's just the way it goes.
223
00:28:33,660 --> 00:28:36,184
I had this one bitch
try to tell me,
224
00:28:36,315 --> 00:28:39,274
"If you just got a real job,
everything would be all right."
225
00:28:39,970 --> 00:28:42,364
Bitch! I have a felony.
226
00:28:42,495 --> 00:28:44,453
Who's gonna hire me?
Who's gonna teach me?
227
00:28:45,411 --> 00:28:47,369
All I know is selling
dope, hustling.
228
00:28:47,978 --> 00:28:49,850
That's all anyone was
willing to show me.
229
00:28:50,938 --> 00:28:54,550
So, with four little
brothers at home, yeah,
230
00:28:54,681 --> 00:28:57,684
I was gonna hustle to
buy them food and, yeah,
231
00:28:57,814 --> 00:28:59,774
I was gonna smoke to forget
everything I had done.
232
00:29:00,774 --> 00:29:01,688
And yeah.
233
00:29:02,819 --> 00:29:04,517
Shit's gonna get fucked.
234
00:29:27,714 --> 00:29:29,150
I was once a little girl.
235
00:29:31,370 --> 00:29:33,372
Trying to keep my sister safe.
236
00:29:37,027 --> 00:29:38,594
I thought it would all work out.
237
00:29:42,119 --> 00:29:43,512
I used to run toAbuelo's.
238
00:29:46,167 --> 00:29:47,560
He showed me how to fix things.
239
00:29:52,042 --> 00:29:53,348
You showed me how to break them.
240
00:29:58,962 --> 00:30:00,399
You fucking took them, huh?
241
00:30:00,486 --> 00:30:01,530
Let's go.
242
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,934
You drove around with
bottles on the floor.
243
00:30:14,064 --> 00:30:15,805
Your music turned up.
244
00:30:15,936 --> 00:30:17,633
You'd smoke a full pack,
245
00:30:17,764 --> 00:30:20,114
but you still
smelled like roses.
246
00:30:24,292 --> 00:30:26,425
We cried as you pulled
the glass out of our skin.
247
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,017
I am my mother's daughter.
248
00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:35,390
Elena.
249
00:30:44,704 --> 00:30:46,270
Can you tell me
what you were doing?
250
00:30:49,839 --> 00:30:51,275
You're lucky to be alive.
251
00:30:53,974 --> 00:30:55,894
If it hadn't been for the
Narcan you'd be dead...
252
00:30:57,804 --> 00:30:59,632
you probably wouldn't
be here right now.
253
00:31:04,158 --> 00:31:05,551
How much do you normally use?
254
00:31:09,293 --> 00:31:11,339
Was it an accident or
was it intentional?
255
00:31:30,837 --> 00:31:32,578
It's a selfish act,
256
00:31:32,708 --> 00:31:33,988
especially when you're pregnant.
257
00:31:51,727 --> 00:31:52,641
You didn't know?
258
00:32:30,549 --> 00:32:32,028
I was 21.
259
00:32:33,682 --> 00:32:35,379
I'd work on cars, because...
260
00:32:36,598 --> 00:32:37,643
what else am I gonna do?
261
00:32:50,917 --> 00:32:52,745
It was also the last
time I used a needle.
262
00:32:54,355 --> 00:32:55,530
Nobody knew.
263
00:32:56,662 --> 00:32:57,576
I was quiet.
264
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,014
But I always seemed in control.
265
00:33:03,407 --> 00:33:04,452
You're doing it all wrong.
266
00:33:06,323 --> 00:33:08,283
You should be cranking it
the other way, you know?
267
00:33:09,936 --> 00:33:11,633
I'm tightening the tensioner.
268
00:33:12,199 --> 00:33:14,549
Going clockwise, so
the nut can do its job.
269
00:33:17,596 --> 00:33:18,553
That's what's up.
270
00:33:22,078 --> 00:33:22,949
You know, I see you.
271
00:33:26,039 --> 00:33:27,606
You was down at
Chopay's the other day.
272
00:33:28,563 --> 00:33:29,912
Looking all cool and shit.
273
00:33:33,394 --> 00:33:36,484
I see you and I want
to holler at you, mija.
274
00:33:38,747 --> 00:33:39,618
Why?
275
00:33:42,011 --> 00:33:43,651
Because you look like
you need someone to.
276
00:33:48,801 --> 00:33:49,802
So what it is?
277
00:33:51,325 --> 00:33:52,631
Can I help you start it or what?
278
00:34:08,385 --> 00:34:10,823
Santi was all bad.
279
00:34:10,953 --> 00:34:12,476
Smelled like
hairspray and sweat.
280
00:34:15,349 --> 00:34:16,742
Reminded me ofAbuelo.
281
00:34:18,961 --> 00:34:20,081
Know how many times he lost?
282
00:34:22,095 --> 00:34:23,400
Five.
283
00:34:23,531 --> 00:34:25,141
He worshiped boxing
284
00:34:25,228 --> 00:34:27,013
and the boxers
who wouldn't quit.
285
00:34:27,100 --> 00:34:28,860
Know how many times he's
got back up and won?
286
00:34:28,928 --> 00:34:30,320
59, baby!
287
00:34:31,408 --> 00:34:33,386
He just sticks out his
tongue and he knows no matter
288
00:34:33,410 --> 00:34:35,151
where he grow up, no
matter how he grow up,
289
00:34:35,238 --> 00:34:36,758
what he could do,
you know what I mean?
290
00:34:38,198 --> 00:34:40,069
He says,
291
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,071
"Hey, pass me the ball,
pass me the bills.
292
00:34:43,246 --> 00:34:45,118
Albuquerque.
293
00:34:45,205 --> 00:34:47,816
Up to you, champ. Albuquerque.
294
00:34:47,947 --> 00:34:49,862
I'm still the champ.
295
00:34:49,992 --> 00:34:51,864
Hey, Grandma, Grandpa,
I'm still your champ!"
296
00:34:53,996 --> 00:34:55,389
I'd tattoo him on my body.
297
00:34:57,347 --> 00:34:58,947
And he promised to
never let me get sick.
298
00:35:01,047 --> 00:35:03,876
We'd get a house together.
299
00:35:04,006 --> 00:35:07,793
I'd get pregnant. Stop using.
300
00:35:07,923 --> 00:35:11,144
I'd worship him, because
he gave me Nevaeh.
301
00:35:11,274 --> 00:35:14,930
She'd be born at
home, just like I was.
302
00:35:15,061 --> 00:35:17,411
He'd play the guitar
for our daughter.
303
00:35:17,541 --> 00:35:19,501
He wasn't very good, but
I didn't know any better.
304
00:35:21,502 --> 00:35:22,677
Then he was gone.
305
00:35:24,026 --> 00:35:25,027
I was alone.
306
00:35:26,376 --> 00:35:27,682
And seven years later...
307
00:35:47,223 --> 00:35:48,529
I need you to nod your head
308
00:35:48,616 --> 00:35:50,016
that you understand
what's going on.
309
00:35:52,054 --> 00:35:53,134
It's in your best interest.
310
00:35:58,104 --> 00:36:00,367
An investigator from
CPS is gonna sit down
311
00:36:00,497 --> 00:36:01,542
- with your daughter.
- No.
312
00:36:02,978 --> 00:36:04,153
You're going to scare her.
313
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:06,112
She's already scared.
314
00:36:13,162 --> 00:36:14,402
We've got a house full of love,
315
00:36:14,468 --> 00:36:16,339
you don't even know.
316
00:36:16,470 --> 00:36:17,926
Do you have a contact
number for her father?
317
00:36:17,950 --> 00:36:19,230
What do you think he's gonna do?
318
00:36:19,778 --> 00:36:21,605
You just want to
take away my baby.
319
00:36:21,736 --> 00:36:23,782
Our intention is never
to remove a child
320
00:36:23,912 --> 00:36:25,087
from their home.
321
00:36:25,914 --> 00:36:27,742
Unless we feel the
child is in danger.
322
00:36:29,048 --> 00:36:30,397
Do I look dangerous?
323
00:36:32,181 --> 00:36:33,922
The situation at the party...
324
00:36:34,053 --> 00:36:34,923
Was an accident!
325
00:36:39,406 --> 00:36:41,974
It was... it was...
326
00:36:47,588 --> 00:36:48,937
It was an accident.
327
00:36:50,373 --> 00:36:51,940
It's never gonna happen again.
328
00:36:56,379 --> 00:36:57,659
Do you understand
why we're here?
329
00:37:08,565 --> 00:37:10,698
Hey, baby girl. Hey.
330
00:37:24,407 --> 00:37:25,626
It's okay.
331
00:37:26,322 --> 00:37:27,280
Here.
332
00:37:29,456 --> 00:37:30,718
Hey, Bearbear.
333
00:37:36,550 --> 00:37:39,205
I'm sorry. I messed up.
334
00:37:40,119 --> 00:37:41,990
Everything's gonna
go back to normal.
335
00:37:44,123 --> 00:37:45,864
Will you stop writing
down everything I say?
336
00:37:59,442 --> 00:38:00,704
Come here.
337
00:38:16,068 --> 00:38:18,026
- I love you.
- I love you.
338
00:38:43,225 --> 00:38:44,226
Fuck them, no?
339
00:38:49,057 --> 00:38:50,929
Fuck them for judging us.
340
00:38:52,931 --> 00:38:53,932
You're a good mother.
341
00:38:54,671 --> 00:38:55,803
I just wanna cry.
342
00:38:57,370 --> 00:38:59,024
But nothing's coming out.
343
00:38:59,850 --> 00:39:00,939
They don't know shit.
344
00:39:04,986 --> 00:39:06,205
What's wrong with me, Toaster?
345
00:39:12,254 --> 00:39:13,734
What are you doing, Chama?
346
00:39:14,648 --> 00:39:16,824
You think you got,
like, a choice, really?
347
00:39:18,521 --> 00:39:21,133
A la maquina, dummy. Not even.
348
00:39:23,135 --> 00:39:24,415
Okay, when we was, like, born...
349
00:39:25,485 --> 00:39:28,488
let's say God, yeah, God.
350
00:39:28,923 --> 00:39:30,229
You know, God was like...
351
00:39:33,145 --> 00:39:35,799
"I'm gonna make this
child super smart.
352
00:39:35,930 --> 00:39:37,497
And then this one?
353
00:39:37,584 --> 00:39:39,238
This one is gonna
be dumb as crackers.
354
00:39:39,368 --> 00:39:41,457
And then this one?
Oh, you know what?
355
00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:44,199
That one is gonna get a
fucking mental illness,
356
00:39:44,286 --> 00:39:46,941
hell yeah, because that'll
be fucking fun, no?
357
00:39:47,072 --> 00:39:48,595
And this one.
358
00:39:48,725 --> 00:39:52,599
This one's gonna
have ADHD, hell yeah!
359
00:39:52,729 --> 00:39:54,427
And this one, just
for shits and giggles,
360
00:39:54,514 --> 00:39:56,646
let's give it leukemia, right?
361
00:39:56,777 --> 00:39:59,432
Because, you know, life
needs more hurdles.
362
00:40:00,128 --> 00:40:02,435
And this one? Yeah, this one.
363
00:40:02,565 --> 00:40:04,698
This one gets an
addictive personality.
364
00:40:06,004 --> 00:40:06,884
And that one doesn't."
365
00:40:10,573 --> 00:40:11,835
This is us.
366
00:40:15,317 --> 00:40:18,103
We gotta fucking
fight until we win.
367
00:40:20,279 --> 00:40:21,889
We're fucking rebels, no?
368
00:40:24,196 --> 00:40:25,806
And we're gonna take
care of all of it.
369
00:40:28,765 --> 00:40:29,897
Just not today.
370
00:41:12,766 --> 00:41:14,550
I want my baby.
371
00:41:20,469 --> 00:41:22,602
- I want my baby.
- It's okay.
372
00:41:23,211 --> 00:41:25,692
- Shh.
- I want my baby.
373
00:41:25,822 --> 00:41:28,695
Shh, can you just,
like, think it
374
00:41:28,825 --> 00:41:30,479
instead of saying it out loud?
375
00:41:30,610 --> 00:41:32,351
I want my baby!
376
00:41:32,481 --> 00:41:34,440
And I would like her
to shut the fuck up!
377
00:41:36,137 --> 00:41:37,095
What the fuck you say?
378
00:41:40,750 --> 00:41:42,274
No, it's okay.
379
00:41:43,057 --> 00:41:44,537
You can, like, say
that one more time.
380
00:41:45,190 --> 00:41:46,452
Just shut her up.
381
00:41:56,418 --> 00:41:58,498
Do you know what the fuck
my friend has been through?
382
00:41:59,813 --> 00:42:01,423
You want her to
shut the fuck up?
383
00:42:02,772 --> 00:42:04,122
Just go back to your seat.
384
00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:07,125
Go back to my seat?
385
00:42:08,691 --> 00:42:10,389
I'll stand here if I want to.
386
00:42:16,221 --> 00:42:17,222
You're drunk.
387
00:42:19,615 --> 00:42:20,790
What'd you say?
388
00:42:21,356 --> 00:42:23,141
You fucking stink, you're drunk.
389
00:42:27,710 --> 00:42:30,191
Fuck! Get this
crazy bitch off me!
390
00:42:30,322 --> 00:42:31,497
Fuck you!
391
00:42:33,063 --> 00:42:34,152
Fuck!
392
00:42:36,632 --> 00:42:38,417
- Fuck!
- Fuck you!
393
00:42:38,547 --> 00:42:39,766
Look at this place, mija.
394
00:42:39,896 --> 00:42:41,289
That's what you dreamed of.
395
00:42:43,465 --> 00:42:45,337
We can put my mother's
papal cross right here.
396
00:42:45,467 --> 00:42:46,729
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah?
397
00:42:46,860 --> 00:42:47,991
Mm-hmm.
398
00:42:51,734 --> 00:42:54,520
Maybe, like, a
painting right there?
399
00:42:54,607 --> 00:42:55,782
You could put up two.
400
00:42:55,912 --> 00:42:57,349
What do you think?
401
00:42:57,914 --> 00:42:59,046
What do you think?
402
00:43:04,356 --> 00:43:08,534
Oh, and... oh, I have
this doll collection
403
00:43:08,664 --> 00:43:10,599
that my mother found outside
a dumpster in the mall.
404
00:43:10,623 --> 00:43:13,060
- Really?
- It's in perfect condition.
405
00:43:13,191 --> 00:43:14,777
Well, like, perfect condition
for, like, the dumpster,
406
00:43:14,801 --> 00:43:16,241
but I've always
wanted to display it.
407
00:43:17,543 --> 00:43:18,583
Where you gonna put it up?
408
00:43:20,328 --> 00:43:21,634
What do you think?
409
00:43:23,766 --> 00:43:24,767
Are you happy or what?
410
00:43:44,613 --> 00:43:45,701
I wanted a miracle.
411
00:43:47,312 --> 00:43:48,226
And I got one.
412
00:43:50,706 --> 00:43:52,099
I didn't need anything else.
413
00:44:21,868 --> 00:44:23,522
My husband was at
home with my daughter.
414
00:44:25,524 --> 00:44:27,395
I was at the long
bar with my friends.
415
00:44:30,398 --> 00:44:31,356
Boyfriend.
416
00:44:33,271 --> 00:44:34,576
We were all fucked up.
417
00:44:36,491 --> 00:44:37,579
Breaking vows...
418
00:44:39,407 --> 00:44:40,582
and I fell.
419
00:44:41,279 --> 00:44:42,715
Cracked my fucking tailbone.
420
00:44:44,847 --> 00:44:46,762
I put one of those
blue ice packs on it.
421
00:44:47,546 --> 00:44:48,547
It broke.
422
00:44:50,375 --> 00:44:51,637
Dyed my ass blue.
423
00:44:55,554 --> 00:44:57,599
So, I go home smelling
like turpentine...
424
00:44:58,818 --> 00:45:00,820
with a serious fucking injury,
425
00:45:00,950 --> 00:45:02,169
a blue ass...
426
00:45:03,388 --> 00:45:04,867
all the while,
427
00:45:04,954 --> 00:45:06,674
I was just supposed to
be picking up dinner.
428
00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:13,180
♪ Lord take me
home, take me home ♪
429
00:45:15,574 --> 00:45:21,667
♪ 'Cause I need
somewhere to go ♪
430
00:45:21,841 --> 00:45:24,974
♪ My pockets are empty ♪
431
00:45:25,148 --> 00:45:28,543
♪ And so is my soul ♪
432
00:45:28,630 --> 00:45:33,592
♪ Oh, Lord, take me
home, take me home ♪
433
00:45:52,654 --> 00:45:56,266
♪ Well I got soul
coming out my ears ♪
434
00:45:56,354 --> 00:46:00,227
♪ But I ain't got cash to
put gas in my pick up ♪
435
00:46:00,401 --> 00:46:04,971
♪ Pick up, well I got dreams
but I also got fears ♪
436
00:46:05,058 --> 00:46:07,495
♪ Which one will
win I cannot tell ♪
437
00:46:07,669 --> 00:46:09,671
♪ The good King Jesus
or the hounds of hell ♪
438
00:46:09,845 --> 00:46:12,065
♪ I said I ain't
got no money... ♪
439
00:46:22,162 --> 00:46:24,425
Look who finally
decided to show up.
440
00:46:25,034 --> 00:46:27,297
I was out looking for
a present for my dad.
441
00:46:27,428 --> 00:46:28,734
I don't know what to get him.
442
00:46:28,864 --> 00:46:30,649
Maybe another World War Two book
443
00:46:30,736 --> 00:46:32,616
with the card inside that
says, "Happy birthday.
444
00:46:32,738 --> 00:46:34,130
We got nothing in common."
445
00:46:34,261 --> 00:46:36,394
What?
446
00:46:37,786 --> 00:46:39,527
You know your jacket smells?
447
00:46:39,658 --> 00:46:40,789
You ever wash it?
448
00:46:41,703 --> 00:46:43,183
It's not like it touches my ass,
449
00:46:43,270 --> 00:46:44,750
I'm not, like, farting in it...
450
00:46:46,012 --> 00:46:47,100
all the time.
451
00:46:48,754 --> 00:46:49,972
Oh, come on, that was funny.
452
00:46:50,886 --> 00:46:52,406
You know, you really
should laugh more.
453
00:46:52,453 --> 00:46:53,367
Especially here.
454
00:47:06,989 --> 00:47:08,817
Not sure if I'm
supposed to be here.
455
00:47:10,079 --> 00:47:11,864
If you're standing
there, you probably are.
456
00:47:11,994 --> 00:47:13,300
But we don't detox.
457
00:47:14,649 --> 00:47:15,824
I'm clean.
458
00:47:16,303 --> 00:47:17,304
We're full up.
459
00:47:18,871 --> 00:47:20,394
Plus, it's 3:00 PM.
460
00:47:20,525 --> 00:47:21,917
We don't take anyone past noon.
461
00:47:27,923 --> 00:47:29,534
This is the third
place I've tried today.
462
00:47:31,927 --> 00:47:33,451
What's worse than
being invisible?
463
00:47:34,930 --> 00:47:36,497
Being seen as disposable.
464
00:47:50,729 --> 00:47:52,208
I go to the hospital.
465
00:47:52,339 --> 00:47:54,646
Be responsible. Get checked.
466
00:47:54,733 --> 00:47:55,734
Dose.
467
00:47:59,781 --> 00:48:01,348
I want to rip off my skin.
468
00:48:03,785 --> 00:48:04,830
The way she looks at me.
469
00:48:08,311 --> 00:48:09,922
Does she need to double up?
470
00:48:10,705 --> 00:48:12,620
The nurse. The fucking nurse.
471
00:48:13,621 --> 00:48:16,885
I'm dirty. Disgusting.
472
00:48:17,016 --> 00:48:19,018
She doesn't see me.
473
00:48:19,148 --> 00:48:21,542
She'll check my chart.
474
00:48:21,629 --> 00:48:22,709
She'll know what I've done.
475
00:49:34,136 --> 00:49:35,921
I told you last time
I wanted to sell you,
476
00:49:36,051 --> 00:49:37,357
you know what I mean?
477
00:49:38,140 --> 00:49:39,944
I just didn't like the way
y'all went out like that.
478
00:49:39,968 --> 00:49:41,187
I know you got something.
479
00:49:41,317 --> 00:49:42,580
Nah, not this time.
480
00:49:49,282 --> 00:49:50,849
Fuck you up. Fucking kill you.
481
00:49:52,241 --> 00:49:53,503
This shit ain't over.
482
00:50:00,032 --> 00:50:01,381
Santi, what did you do?
483
00:50:05,777 --> 00:50:07,082
Keep your fucking mouth shut.
484
00:51:55,060 --> 00:51:55,974
Who's there?
485
00:52:00,500 --> 00:52:01,980
What are you doing, Chama?
486
00:52:03,677 --> 00:52:04,722
Toaster.
487
00:52:08,987 --> 00:52:10,684
You gotta go away.
488
00:52:16,168 --> 00:52:17,082
Go away!
489
00:52:25,307 --> 00:52:26,569
Toaster.
490
00:52:27,875 --> 00:52:30,312
Toaster!
491
00:52:30,443 --> 00:52:31,723
I thought you
wanted me to leave.
492
00:52:34,839 --> 00:52:36,492
No, no.
493
00:52:42,194 --> 00:52:43,238
I'm all alone.
494
00:52:50,898 --> 00:52:53,553
Remember when we first met?
495
00:52:53,683 --> 00:52:55,816
We were working at
some old folks' home
496
00:52:55,947 --> 00:52:57,122
and making food and shit.
497
00:53:00,255 --> 00:53:02,083
Yeah.
498
00:53:02,214 --> 00:53:04,085
We both hated the way
old people were treated.
499
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,654
Like they were a nuisance.
500
00:53:09,351 --> 00:53:11,527
Like they chose to
be old and shit.
501
00:53:11,658 --> 00:53:13,791
You thought I was like
your sister and shit.
502
00:53:13,921 --> 00:53:15,488
You got all mad.
503
00:53:32,635 --> 00:53:34,159
You know what the worst part is?
504
00:53:35,247 --> 00:53:37,205
All of it.
505
00:53:37,336 --> 00:53:38,816
When you're out, Chama.
506
00:53:41,993 --> 00:53:44,343
You start smoking the crumbs.
507
00:53:44,473 --> 00:53:45,997
I've seen you do it.
508
00:53:46,127 --> 00:53:47,868
You're a dummy.
509
00:53:47,999 --> 00:53:49,359
You smoke the crumbs
and then more.
510
00:53:49,478 --> 00:53:52,568
Then you put Selena
on full blast.
511
00:53:52,655 --> 00:53:57,138
But it's not the same
as when you kiss it.
512
00:53:57,225 --> 00:53:58,836
- Put it in.
- No, shut up!
513
00:54:00,359 --> 00:54:01,708
Open up.
514
00:54:01,839 --> 00:54:03,797
No. No!
515
00:54:06,495 --> 00:54:08,323
I've got something
for you, Chama.
516
00:54:09,934 --> 00:54:11,065
No!
517
00:54:23,208 --> 00:54:25,123
I'll do better, I'll do better,
518
00:54:25,253 --> 00:54:26,907
I'll do better, I'll do better,
519
00:54:26,994 --> 00:54:28,169
I promise I'll do better.
520
00:54:31,433 --> 00:54:33,479
You lied. You lied.
521
00:54:43,619 --> 00:54:45,491
No, don't... Don't
move, don't move.
522
00:54:45,578 --> 00:54:47,536
Is it cold? Is it
cold down there?
523
00:54:47,667 --> 00:54:50,757
Please hold on to
my hand. Oh, my God.
524
00:54:58,852 --> 00:54:59,766
Toaster.
525
00:55:01,420 --> 00:55:02,682
Are you fucking with me?
526
00:55:03,683 --> 00:55:05,598
What are you doing, Chama?
527
00:55:05,728 --> 00:55:07,426
Hey.
528
00:55:10,429 --> 00:55:11,909
- Don't you?
- No, sorry.
529
00:55:13,998 --> 00:55:15,158
I only got a couple of bucks.
530
00:55:19,481 --> 00:55:21,092
Come on. Please.
531
00:55:25,052 --> 00:55:27,402
Come on. Come on. Please.
532
00:55:33,626 --> 00:55:37,935
Come on. Come on.
Come on, please.
533
00:55:45,943 --> 00:55:48,293
I've been talking
to you and not once,
534
00:55:48,380 --> 00:55:51,035
through everything, have
you said anything back.
535
00:55:54,038 --> 00:55:55,126
Are you not there?
536
00:55:56,605 --> 00:55:57,955
Can you not hear me?
537
00:56:39,909 --> 00:56:40,867
Nine months.
538
00:56:44,305 --> 00:56:45,437
Clean.
539
00:56:50,311 --> 00:56:51,356
Look at your arms.
540
00:56:52,052 --> 00:56:54,968
You're a worthless fucking...
541
00:56:56,404 --> 00:56:57,362
junkie.
542
00:57:00,191 --> 00:57:01,471
Why don't you just
kill yourself?
543
00:57:11,550 --> 00:57:12,507
Or you could...
544
00:57:14,335 --> 00:57:15,336
go.
545
00:57:16,685 --> 00:57:17,730
Grab your daughter...
546
00:57:19,949 --> 00:57:21,342
and get out of here.
547
00:57:21,864 --> 00:57:23,214
Get the fuck out of here.
548
00:57:26,391 --> 00:57:27,392
Get the fuck out of here.
549
00:57:29,829 --> 00:57:31,048
Police department, don't move!
550
00:57:31,135 --> 00:57:32,353
Police department!
551
00:58:05,473 --> 00:58:08,128
You wanna know the...
552
00:58:08,259 --> 00:58:11,262
two worst words in the
English vocabulary?
553
00:58:14,395 --> 00:58:16,354
What if...
554
00:58:17,442 --> 00:58:19,357
um, what if...
555
00:58:21,620 --> 00:58:23,230
my dad was the president?
556
00:58:25,102 --> 00:58:26,103
Or what if...
557
00:58:27,539 --> 00:58:28,975
um, my mom...
558
00:58:30,237 --> 00:58:31,891
actually wanted me?
559
00:58:34,546 --> 00:58:35,982
What if...
560
00:58:36,809 --> 00:58:38,550
I was born in London,
561
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:39,812
or...
562
00:58:40,682 --> 00:58:41,988
or Ireland?
563
00:58:44,686 --> 00:58:46,906
Lived on a farm far away?
564
00:58:53,608 --> 00:58:55,741
What if when I ate food
565
00:58:55,828 --> 00:58:57,569
I could keep it down,
566
00:58:57,699 --> 00:59:01,138
like, that wasn't even
a thought, you know?
567
00:59:07,666 --> 00:59:08,928
What if they didn't say...
568
00:59:10,234 --> 00:59:11,148
it was all my fault?
569
00:59:14,238 --> 00:59:15,500
Make up lies about me?
570
00:59:22,376 --> 00:59:24,335
What if he came to get me?
571
00:59:27,816 --> 00:59:29,122
You know where I'm at?
572
00:59:34,083 --> 00:59:36,477
You know, what if I didn't
have to ask what if?
573
01:00:17,344 --> 01:00:18,215
Can't.
574
01:00:20,695 --> 01:00:23,350
♪ Please don't say anything ♪
575
01:00:23,524 --> 01:00:25,613
♪ Anything at all ♪
576
01:00:25,744 --> 01:00:28,529
Look, I've... I've been calling
577
01:00:28,616 --> 01:00:31,663
over and over and no...
Nobody will tell me nothing!
578
01:00:31,837 --> 01:00:35,493
♪ The silence says it all ♪
579
01:00:38,452 --> 01:00:41,063
♪ Blood running
through my veins ♪
580
01:00:41,194 --> 01:00:42,413
Where is she?
581
01:00:48,723 --> 01:00:50,203
Don't worry,
582
01:00:51,726 --> 01:00:53,424
No, don't... don't hang up.
583
01:00:53,554 --> 01:00:55,469
I just... I want to
know where she is.
584
01:00:55,556 --> 01:00:58,211
♪ For that call ♪
585
01:01:01,867 --> 01:01:06,263
♪ Ooh ♪
586
01:01:16,011 --> 01:01:17,099
Can't.
587
01:01:17,926 --> 01:01:19,319
Come on!
588
01:01:19,928 --> 01:01:22,235
What the... what the fuck?
589
01:01:22,366 --> 01:01:23,584
We need help!
590
01:01:23,715 --> 01:01:24,846
Who's gonna help us?
591
01:01:25,238 --> 01:01:27,588
Who? Who, who, who?
592
01:01:27,719 --> 01:01:29,851
- I don't know, I just...
- Say it. What?
593
01:01:29,982 --> 01:01:31,699
- Say it! What are you, dumb?
- I feel like...
594
01:01:31,723 --> 01:01:32,898
Who's gonna help us?
595
01:01:33,768 --> 01:01:35,640
- Who's gonna help us?
- I don't know!
596
01:01:36,902 --> 01:01:37,772
I don't know!
597
01:01:39,774 --> 01:01:41,385
- We need help.
- Who's gonna help us?
598
01:01:41,515 --> 01:01:42,908
I don't know. I don't know.
599
01:01:43,604 --> 01:01:46,651
I don't... I feel... I feel...
600
01:01:46,781 --> 01:01:49,175
I feel like I wanna
rip my hair out.
601
01:01:50,394 --> 01:01:52,744
I wanna tear my skin off
602
01:01:52,874 --> 01:01:54,485
and walk away from this shit
603
01:01:54,615 --> 01:01:56,182
I feel all the time!
604
01:01:59,707 --> 01:02:02,884
♪ Don't leave me
don't leave me ♪
605
01:02:03,058 --> 01:02:05,322
♪ Don't leave me
don't leave me ♪
606
01:02:07,454 --> 01:02:08,325
What?
607
01:02:09,326 --> 01:02:10,327
Where are you going?
608
01:02:15,462 --> 01:02:16,463
Where are you going?
609
01:02:17,856 --> 01:02:19,205
You just gonna stumble off?
610
01:02:20,467 --> 01:02:21,627
You gonna stumble right back.
611
01:02:26,865 --> 01:02:28,345
No one gives a shit.
612
01:02:29,868 --> 01:02:31,565
We ain't stupid.
613
01:02:31,696 --> 01:02:33,132
We know there's nothing else.
614
01:02:34,307 --> 01:02:35,439
Where are you going?
615
01:02:37,397 --> 01:02:39,181
Where are you going, Chama?
616
01:03:06,208 --> 01:03:08,733
When Abuelo died, I ran away.
617
01:03:13,041 --> 01:03:14,565
Which brought me
right back to you.
618
01:03:16,915 --> 01:03:18,525
Do you want them to
think you're loca?
619
01:03:18,612 --> 01:03:20,527
Because that's what
they're gonna say, hm?
620
01:03:20,658 --> 01:03:22,338
Look at that crazy,
going around losing it.
621
01:03:32,670 --> 01:03:35,063
It's not fair. I don't
want Abuelo to go.
622
01:03:35,803 --> 01:03:37,483
You think anyone cares
about what you want?
623
01:03:41,026 --> 01:03:42,786
Your sister's not gonna
live with us anymore.
624
01:03:43,420 --> 01:03:45,030
Her father wants her.
625
01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:46,486
Take her back to Texas
and I'm too fucking tired
626
01:03:46,510 --> 01:03:47,380
to keep fighting him.
627
01:03:49,774 --> 01:03:51,428
Just us now.
628
01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:01,022
Don't be mad at what it is
because we're just paying
629
01:04:01,046 --> 01:04:02,486
for something we
did in another life.
630
01:04:04,049 --> 01:04:04,919
Here, drink this.
631
01:04:06,443 --> 01:04:07,879
Not too much.
632
01:04:08,009 --> 01:04:09,409
Just enough to make
you feel better.
633
01:05:08,766 --> 01:05:10,126
I thought you looked
thirsty, mama.
634
01:05:15,207 --> 01:05:17,007
Chart's looking like
you're eight weeks along.
635
01:05:17,862 --> 01:05:19,385
Someone talk to you
about your options?
636
01:05:23,215 --> 01:05:24,521
It's okay, mama, take your time.
637
01:05:33,573 --> 01:05:34,748
Thank you.
638
01:05:35,706 --> 01:05:36,770
You think you gotta
keep it yourself,
639
01:05:36,794 --> 01:05:38,360
but you don't.
640
01:05:39,274 --> 01:05:40,904
I don't know what direction you
gonna go with this pregnancy,
641
01:05:40,928 --> 01:05:43,235
but we can help you
safely transition.
642
01:05:43,365 --> 01:05:44,845
Detox that stuff
out your system.
643
01:05:46,717 --> 01:05:47,979
Or you can continue your way.
644
01:05:50,851 --> 01:05:52,766
You got two options here.
645
01:05:52,897 --> 01:05:55,334
First, you leave, then
there's the second one.
646
01:06:03,124 --> 01:06:04,648
I know I'll see her face again.
647
01:06:11,306 --> 01:06:12,525
The bedpost.
648
01:06:13,831 --> 01:06:14,658
The ceiling.
649
01:06:15,876 --> 01:06:16,747
The mole.
650
01:06:17,835 --> 01:06:19,314
The itch.
651
01:06:19,445 --> 01:06:20,794
Did you hear that?
652
01:06:26,365 --> 01:06:28,062
I know I'll see her face again.
653
01:06:33,590 --> 01:06:35,722
The bedpost. The ceiling.
654
01:06:36,941 --> 01:06:38,638
The mole. The itch.
655
01:06:51,216 --> 01:06:52,957
I know I'll see her face again.
656
01:07:00,181 --> 01:07:03,184
The bedpost. The
ceiling. The mole.
657
01:07:03,315 --> 01:07:04,446
You're looking better.
658
01:07:08,059 --> 01:07:09,887
I know I'll see her face again.
659
01:07:10,017 --> 01:07:11,257
I know I'll see her face again.
660
01:07:11,323 --> 01:07:12,759
You're looking better.
661
01:07:12,890 --> 01:07:14,282
I know I'll see her face again.
662
01:07:14,413 --> 01:07:15,719
You're looking better.
663
01:07:15,849 --> 01:07:17,089
I know I'll see her face again!
664
01:07:31,648 --> 01:07:32,649
First time here?
665
01:07:37,218 --> 01:07:39,394
They think we're all crazy.
666
01:07:39,525 --> 01:07:41,125
Kind of makes me wanna
pop their eye out.
667
01:07:42,441 --> 01:07:44,661
I'm Nell.
668
01:07:48,795 --> 01:07:49,796
Chama.
669
01:07:50,797 --> 01:07:51,798
Like the town.
670
01:07:54,322 --> 01:07:55,672
Chama, New Mexico.
671
01:08:02,896 --> 01:08:04,855
Everything is out to beat us,
672
01:08:05,725 --> 01:08:07,965
but I'm just biding my minutes
'til I get into Guadalupe.
673
01:08:13,733 --> 01:08:14,693
Is this your first time?
674
01:08:16,083 --> 01:08:17,084
Sixth.
675
01:08:22,350 --> 01:08:23,482
See you later.
676
01:08:31,359 --> 01:08:32,186
Bedpost.
677
01:08:35,842 --> 01:08:36,713
Ceiling.
678
01:08:46,287 --> 01:08:47,680
Boredom.
679
01:08:56,297 --> 01:08:57,559
Itch.
680
01:09:01,346 --> 01:09:03,391
Not as sick.
681
01:09:13,967 --> 01:09:15,162
I was in my
Grandma's double-wide
682
01:09:15,186 --> 01:09:16,491
playing with her cat.
683
01:09:16,970 --> 01:09:18,330
Her neighbor stopped
over and asked
684
01:09:18,450 --> 01:09:19,610
if I wanted to try something.
685
01:09:20,408 --> 01:09:22,193
I was like, "How
does it feel?"
686
01:09:22,323 --> 01:09:24,043
He was like, "Don't be
a baby. Just try it."
687
01:09:25,631 --> 01:09:27,285
So I smoked meth
out of a light bulb.
688
01:09:28,373 --> 01:09:29,973
I was like, "I don't
even feel anything."
689
01:09:31,028 --> 01:09:33,900
Then it was days later
690
01:09:34,031 --> 01:09:35,772
and there was no concept
of where time went.
691
01:09:35,902 --> 01:09:38,513
All I know is
Grandma's cat was dead
692
01:09:38,644 --> 01:09:40,037
and I missed my 16th birthday.
693
01:09:48,610 --> 01:09:52,092
I was just thinking how
fucking awesome life is.
694
01:09:52,223 --> 01:09:55,052
I know. We have
clothes and groceries.
695
01:09:55,182 --> 01:09:56,836
Mom's not snorting
dust off the carpet
696
01:09:56,967 --> 01:09:58,838
and we have college funds.
697
01:09:58,969 --> 01:10:00,889
I'm so glad you're not
fuck ups like Tina's kids.
698
01:10:00,971 --> 01:10:03,060
They smell like garbage.
699
01:10:03,190 --> 01:10:04,994
You're also lucky to have a
house with a working heater.
700
01:10:05,018 --> 01:10:06,324
Do people live without a heater?
701
01:10:06,411 --> 01:10:07,847
Oh, yes.
702
01:10:07,934 --> 01:10:09,762
Because usually those people
703
01:10:09,849 --> 01:10:11,677
are fucking strangers for coke.
704
01:10:13,244 --> 01:10:15,115
- Hey, Nick.
- Hello.
705
01:10:20,338 --> 01:10:21,643
Bring back a chicharrón?
706
01:10:22,862 --> 01:10:23,820
Huh?
707
01:10:25,082 --> 01:10:26,605
Are you even New Mexican?
708
01:10:28,085 --> 01:10:30,043
Born and raised.
709
01:10:30,174 --> 01:10:32,014
You're as New Mexican as
Taco Bell green chili.
710
01:10:32,350 --> 01:10:34,569
There, you see?
You do have jokes.
711
01:10:34,656 --> 01:10:36,136
They're not necessarily
good, but...
712
01:10:56,722 --> 01:10:59,681
♪ I'm gettin' better,
gettin' better all the time ♪
713
01:11:04,121 --> 01:11:05,949
Hey, hey, hold up.
714
01:11:06,079 --> 01:11:07,298
Hold up. You got
a place to go?
715
01:11:09,126 --> 01:11:10,388
Yeah, sure.
716
01:11:11,041 --> 01:11:13,173
There's other spots you can try.
717
01:11:13,260 --> 01:11:15,700
Yeah, everyone's really rolling
out the red carpet these days.
718
01:11:23,096 --> 01:11:25,055
Francis, don't.
719
01:11:25,403 --> 01:11:27,187
Come on, Francis.
720
01:11:27,318 --> 01:11:29,407
'Cause I ain't got nothing left!
721
01:11:29,494 --> 01:11:31,409
Please, will you just go inside?
722
01:11:31,496 --> 01:11:32,714
Francis.
723
01:11:38,111 --> 01:11:39,417
People come and go.
724
01:11:39,547 --> 01:11:41,288
If you want it, you want it.
725
01:11:41,419 --> 01:11:44,335
If you don't, don't
take someone else's bed.
726
01:11:45,249 --> 01:11:47,089
There's a box of donated
clothes in the corner.
727
01:11:52,996 --> 01:11:54,040
Looks like you made it.
728
01:12:21,546 --> 01:12:22,721
Look...
729
01:12:25,158 --> 01:12:26,278
I don't know what I'm doing.
730
01:12:28,248 --> 01:12:29,119
Are you on anything?
731
01:12:31,034 --> 01:12:32,122
No, I'm clean.
732
01:12:35,429 --> 01:12:36,996
Plus, I don't even
got any money.
733
01:12:37,736 --> 01:12:39,016
Has that ever
stopped you before?
734
01:12:43,046 --> 01:12:43,960
Whatever.
735
01:12:57,190 --> 01:12:58,278
I'm not gonna fuck you.
736
01:13:03,414 --> 01:13:04,284
I'm sorry.
737
01:13:12,423 --> 01:13:13,511
Why are you here?
738
01:13:14,251 --> 01:13:16,688
Because I need to
get my daughter back.
739
01:13:25,044 --> 01:13:26,263
Because I need to be normal.
740
01:13:30,528 --> 01:13:31,728
You know what that word means?
741
01:13:32,834 --> 01:13:35,054
The usual, the average,
742
01:13:35,185 --> 01:13:37,143
the typical state or condition.
743
01:13:39,102 --> 01:13:40,103
What's normal to you?
744
01:13:43,454 --> 01:13:44,324
I don't know.
745
01:13:45,586 --> 01:13:46,457
Think about it.
746
01:13:55,553 --> 01:13:57,511
Two girls drinking at a party.
747
01:14:01,515 --> 01:14:03,039
One stops when it's empty.
748
01:14:04,388 --> 01:14:06,172
For the other, it never ends.
749
01:14:07,565 --> 01:14:08,957
So you want to be
able to drink...
750
01:14:09,088 --> 01:14:10,046
No!
751
01:14:11,699 --> 01:14:13,049
I don't fucking need this shit.
752
01:14:20,404 --> 01:14:22,449
Look, it don't have to be easy,
753
01:14:22,580 --> 01:14:25,278
but just, like, fair, you know?
754
01:14:25,409 --> 01:14:27,280
Nothing in life is fair.
755
01:14:27,367 --> 01:14:28,238
We'll see.
756
01:14:29,587 --> 01:14:30,892
What do you know about it?
757
01:14:33,895 --> 01:14:36,246
I was diagnosed with
cancer when I was 30.
758
01:14:36,376 --> 01:14:37,682
My parents won't talk to me.
759
01:14:37,812 --> 01:14:40,206
My first boyfriend
ended in assault
760
01:14:40,293 --> 01:14:42,121
and my last one cheated on me.
761
01:14:42,556 --> 01:14:44,210
I would love a drink,
762
01:14:44,297 --> 01:14:45,777
but I haven't had
one in 12 years.
763
01:14:46,821 --> 01:14:49,346
Nothing in life is
fair, nothing is normal.
764
01:14:50,347 --> 01:14:51,987
But there's beauty if
you fight to see it.
765
01:14:57,441 --> 01:15:00,052
You're gay?
766
01:15:00,183 --> 01:15:01,583
That's what you
took away from that?
767
01:15:06,667 --> 01:15:08,347
You know what I did
when I first got sober?
768
01:15:09,975 --> 01:15:11,175
I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
769
01:15:15,285 --> 01:15:16,605
I wrote a moment
on each of those.
770
01:15:18,505 --> 01:15:20,483
The moments that got me down,
the ones that kept me going.
771
01:15:20,507 --> 01:15:21,900
Everything, leading up 'til now.
772
01:15:25,251 --> 01:15:26,451
Sounds like a lot of triggers.
773
01:15:27,732 --> 01:15:29,516
When you're done,
774
01:15:29,647 --> 01:15:30,604
stick 'em on that wall.
775
01:15:46,664 --> 01:15:47,944
What happened when
you were born?
776
01:15:49,841 --> 01:15:51,103
I tried to kill myself.
777
01:15:52,409 --> 01:15:53,801
There you go.
778
01:15:53,888 --> 01:15:54,976
Start from the beginning.
779
01:16:05,813 --> 01:16:08,425
Cord wrapped around my neck.
780
01:16:08,512 --> 01:16:10,122
It was my first struggle.
781
01:16:17,347 --> 01:16:18,261
This world.
782
01:16:20,088 --> 01:16:21,177
School.
783
01:16:21,307 --> 01:16:23,353
I failed.
784
01:16:23,483 --> 01:16:26,182
If I can fix cars
I can fix anything.
785
01:16:30,273 --> 01:16:33,276
My mother's new boyfriend.
786
01:16:33,363 --> 01:16:35,321
My new boyfriend.
787
01:16:35,408 --> 01:16:38,368
He called me beautiful, ugly.
788
01:16:38,498 --> 01:16:39,760
Look at this place, mija.
789
01:16:41,632 --> 01:16:42,981
This is what you dreamed of.
790
01:16:43,111 --> 01:16:44,287
You gave me no fucking choice
791
01:16:44,374 --> 01:16:45,394
and you have to live with it!
792
01:16:45,418 --> 01:16:46,593
You did this, Elena.
793
01:16:46,724 --> 01:16:48,465
Transforming.
794
01:16:48,987 --> 01:16:50,075
Shut your fucking mouth.
795
01:16:51,337 --> 01:16:53,470
Santi. A dealer.
796
01:16:54,558 --> 01:16:56,429
My first kiss.
797
01:16:56,560 --> 01:16:58,649
Curious.
798
01:17:06,613 --> 01:17:09,312
Play the same song
over and over.
799
01:17:09,442 --> 01:17:11,183
I stuck a needle in my veins.
800
01:17:11,314 --> 01:17:13,229
My sister listened to me.
801
01:17:13,359 --> 01:17:15,187
My sister wouldn't
ask if I came home.
802
01:17:15,318 --> 01:17:17,276
Abuelo used to say
803
01:17:17,363 --> 01:17:18,723
that if you find
a black feather...
804
01:17:19,757 --> 01:17:21,019
it's a warning.
805
01:17:24,501 --> 01:17:26,141
Come on, come on, we
don't have much time.
806
01:17:32,465 --> 01:17:33,771
I love you.
807
01:17:33,901 --> 01:17:36,295
I love you, I love you.
808
01:17:50,527 --> 01:17:52,137
Where are you going, Chama?
809
01:17:52,790 --> 01:17:54,095
You broke it!
810
01:17:57,055 --> 01:17:59,579
I am my mother's lost sisters.
811
01:18:06,456 --> 01:18:08,066
The dealer.
812
01:18:13,201 --> 01:18:14,159
Scared.
813
01:18:25,997 --> 01:18:27,172
Always felt like home here.
814
01:18:28,347 --> 01:18:30,610
- The river.
- It's dirty.
815
01:18:30,741 --> 01:18:32,341
Half the time it
doesn't even have water.
816
01:18:36,181 --> 01:18:37,922
You find what it is
you were looking for?
817
01:18:38,052 --> 01:18:40,011
- Don't be like that.
- Like what, Chama?
818
01:18:40,925 --> 01:18:41,795
Like your mother?
819
01:18:42,796 --> 01:18:43,716
What else have you got?
820
01:18:52,893 --> 01:18:54,939
Your Abuelo used to say,
"I don't need a watch...
821
01:18:55,069 --> 01:18:56,157
I got the river."
822
01:19:05,689 --> 01:19:06,516
If you leave...
823
01:19:08,169 --> 01:19:09,649
I don't ever want
to see you again.
824
01:19:13,218 --> 01:19:14,828
I wish I would've put
my arms around you.
825
01:19:16,047 --> 01:19:17,048
One last time.
826
01:19:19,006 --> 01:19:21,879
I wish I would have
held you, felt you,
827
01:19:22,009 --> 01:19:24,055
smelled that lipstick.
828
01:19:24,185 --> 01:19:26,666
I wish I would have been
home when they found you.
829
01:19:26,797 --> 01:19:28,494
I hated you.
830
01:19:28,625 --> 01:19:30,540
I blamed you.
831
01:19:30,670 --> 01:19:32,270
I skipped your funeral
and Mari hated me.
832
01:19:35,283 --> 01:19:37,503
But I pretend in
that last moment...
833
01:19:39,026 --> 01:19:41,202
you saw something beautiful.
834
01:20:07,968 --> 01:20:08,839
I used to be married.
835
01:20:10,971 --> 01:20:12,571
He's famous, I can't
tell you who it was.
836
01:20:14,061 --> 01:20:15,411
Okay.
837
01:20:17,021 --> 01:20:18,457
I was independent though.
838
01:20:19,110 --> 01:20:20,981
Yeah, I loved to work.
839
01:20:21,112 --> 01:20:23,897
I ran five restaurants.
840
01:20:23,984 --> 01:20:26,944
I mean, most people
only, like, oversee one.
841
01:20:27,074 --> 01:20:28,424
Wanna know how many I ran?
842
01:20:30,164 --> 01:20:31,601
- Five?
- Five!
843
01:20:32,776 --> 01:20:35,300
Yeah, they respected me.
844
01:20:35,431 --> 01:20:36,736
You know, like...
845
01:20:37,650 --> 01:20:39,050
I wasn't a bitch
to them or anything
846
01:20:39,173 --> 01:20:41,349
if that's what you're thinking,
847
01:20:41,480 --> 01:20:42,438
but I was the boss.
848
01:20:44,004 --> 01:20:45,547
You should see the
way they looked at me
849
01:20:45,571 --> 01:20:46,731
when I walked into a Chili's.
850
01:20:48,182 --> 01:20:49,967
Nell likes to talk.
851
01:20:50,097 --> 01:20:52,186
A lot.
852
01:20:52,317 --> 01:20:54,711
She says she first
tried heroin at age ten.
853
01:20:54,841 --> 01:20:56,930
Given to her by a neighbor.
854
01:20:57,017 --> 01:21:00,325
She told her father, who
went to her and beat her.
855
01:21:00,456 --> 01:21:02,303
She started cutting her
knuckles in high school,
856
01:21:02,327 --> 01:21:04,416
but her sister found out
and threw away the razors.
857
01:21:06,636 --> 01:21:08,942
All her friends worked
at a local Chili's.
858
01:21:09,073 --> 01:21:11,162
Nell claims she did, too.
859
01:21:11,292 --> 01:21:14,687
She goes on and on
and on about it.
860
01:21:14,818 --> 01:21:16,776
I just want to scrub
a toilet in peace.
861
01:21:16,907 --> 01:21:18,561
Yeah, I don't
really like Chili's.
862
01:21:20,606 --> 01:21:21,912
Oh, you're one of those...
863
01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:24,480
Applebee's motherfuckers?
864
01:21:31,051 --> 01:21:33,880
Anyways I was doing
really well, you know?
865
01:21:34,011 --> 01:21:35,142
My husband was like...
866
01:22:35,028 --> 01:22:36,900
Okay, let's check in.
867
01:22:39,076 --> 01:22:40,396
It's a cloudy day
out there today.
868
01:22:41,992 --> 01:22:43,352
What's that make
everyone think of?
869
01:22:58,051 --> 01:22:58,922
Rain.
870
01:23:01,185 --> 01:23:03,065
Makes me think of my son
playing in the puddles.
871
01:23:04,623 --> 01:23:05,581
Sweaters.
872
01:23:07,670 --> 01:23:09,585
I hate t-shirts and short pants.
873
01:23:15,199 --> 01:23:16,374
How about you, Gata?
874
01:23:18,028 --> 01:23:18,898
Go fuck yourself.
875
01:23:21,945 --> 01:23:23,385
That's what my ma
used to always say.
876
01:23:25,601 --> 01:23:26,602
Clouds remind me of her.
877
01:23:29,039 --> 01:23:30,039
Every time I'd mess up...
878
01:23:31,215 --> 01:23:33,304
like, when she'd
catch me slipping.
879
01:23:34,740 --> 01:23:35,611
"Great...
880
01:23:36,699 --> 01:23:37,874
go fuck yourself, Gata."
881
01:23:39,266 --> 01:23:41,138
First time I came here,
882
01:23:41,268 --> 01:23:43,967
- Nick suggested that I say...
- Go love yourself.
883
01:23:44,794 --> 01:23:46,447
Yeah, so now...
884
01:23:48,319 --> 01:23:49,625
when I think about my ma...
885
01:23:51,322 --> 01:23:52,453
it's like...
886
01:23:54,934 --> 01:23:55,979
Go love yourself, Gata.
887
01:23:59,896 --> 01:24:01,419
Go love yourself back.
888
01:24:23,049 --> 01:24:23,963
Ow!
889
01:24:34,408 --> 01:24:36,367
Well, I did it,
because I wanted to.
890
01:24:37,629 --> 01:24:38,543
Um...
891
01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:43,679
I climbed out of the
second story window
892
01:24:43,809 --> 01:24:46,986
at my parents' house
and, um, I jumped.
893
01:24:47,117 --> 01:24:49,772
Probably broke, like, two bones.
894
01:24:50,642 --> 01:24:52,992
But, you know, he was...
895
01:24:54,341 --> 01:24:56,126
He was older, uh...
896
01:24:57,910 --> 01:25:00,696
he liked me, uh,
everyone liked me.
897
01:25:04,525 --> 01:25:07,267
And, um, I wanted to see him.
898
01:25:08,138 --> 01:25:11,881
So, yeah, we got a
little strung out...
899
01:25:15,101 --> 01:25:16,015
and, uh...
900
01:25:18,583 --> 01:25:19,715
well, I woke up in a trailer
901
01:25:19,845 --> 01:25:21,586
with four men...
902
01:25:23,327 --> 01:25:24,154
that I didn't know.
903
01:25:26,460 --> 01:25:28,245
I don't even think
they knew my name.
904
01:25:31,248 --> 01:25:34,294
I had to take Clonazepam,
so I wouldn't get seizures.
905
01:25:35,208 --> 01:25:36,888
But one night after my
husband got rough...
906
01:25:38,168 --> 01:25:39,560
I took too many and OD'd.
907
01:25:40,823 --> 01:25:42,825
This spark plug is fried.
908
01:25:43,739 --> 01:25:45,019
I got arrested in middle school.
909
01:25:46,872 --> 01:25:48,221
Sent to Las Nunes.
910
01:25:48,744 --> 01:25:50,049
He ordered a youth diagnostic.
911
01:25:51,137 --> 01:25:52,835
I spent Christmas in jail.
912
01:25:52,965 --> 01:25:54,245
When I got out of
the hospital...
913
01:25:55,272 --> 01:25:56,229
the doctor...
914
01:25:57,317 --> 01:25:59,058
prescribed me Clonazepam.
915
01:25:59,406 --> 01:26:00,843
But I liked jail.
916
01:26:01,669 --> 01:26:02,949
No one was gonna
molest me there.
917
01:26:04,934 --> 01:26:06,936
People always ask what's
your favorite number.
918
01:26:07,850 --> 01:26:09,634
I always thought that
was a dumbass question.
919
01:26:10,330 --> 01:26:11,592
Favorite color I get...
920
01:26:12,637 --> 01:26:14,180
but it's not like you're
gonna decorate your house
921
01:26:14,204 --> 01:26:15,084
in multiples of seven.
922
01:26:16,902 --> 01:26:18,599
But I'm a survivor of suicide.
923
01:26:20,340 --> 01:26:21,951
I tried to kill
myself eight times.
924
01:26:24,040 --> 01:26:25,320
I know I won't live to see nine.
925
01:26:26,346 --> 01:26:27,608
So eight.
926
01:26:28,566 --> 01:26:30,002
That's my favorite.
927
01:26:30,133 --> 01:26:32,091
Okay. Should be good.
928
01:26:36,182 --> 01:26:38,097
Wow, nice.
929
01:26:39,272 --> 01:26:40,186
Thanks.
930
01:27:07,300 --> 01:27:09,955
I've already been
transferred six times.
931
01:27:10,042 --> 01:27:11,322
Does anyone actually work there?
932
01:27:14,090 --> 01:27:14,960
Hello?
933
01:27:23,882 --> 01:27:24,840
Coke?
934
01:27:27,538 --> 01:27:28,931
Mostly opiates.
935
01:27:31,020 --> 01:27:34,153
Mm, no, do you want a Coke?
936
01:27:37,243 --> 01:27:38,984
- Yeah, Sprite.
- Okay.
937
01:27:59,918 --> 01:28:01,050
I never worked at Chili's.
938
01:28:06,142 --> 01:28:07,056
They wouldn't hire me.
939
01:28:13,540 --> 01:28:15,064
Maybe you should have
tried Applebee's.
940
01:29:05,723 --> 01:29:07,483
He was a penguin, but he
was cold all the time,
941
01:29:07,507 --> 01:29:09,031
so he wore a hat
942
01:29:09,161 --> 01:29:10,946
and a little muffler
around his neck.
943
01:29:11,468 --> 01:29:12,948
Nobody?
944
01:29:15,254 --> 01:29:16,492
I don't really know what's
going on with my head.
945
01:29:16,516 --> 01:29:18,562
- I don't know.
- Okay.
946
01:29:18,692 --> 01:29:19,780
All right, we're starting.
947
01:29:22,131 --> 01:29:23,436
Where's Nell at?
948
01:29:24,350 --> 01:29:25,438
She left.
949
01:29:26,396 --> 01:29:27,397
And if she left...
950
01:29:39,800 --> 01:29:42,151
Please hang up and
try your call again.
951
01:29:45,719 --> 01:29:47,156
I've called CPS a million times,
952
01:29:47,286 --> 01:29:48,984
and all I get is the run around.
953
01:29:49,114 --> 01:29:50,811
- They're busy.
- Whose side you on?
954
01:29:53,771 --> 01:29:55,425
They won't even let
me see her, Nick.
955
01:29:55,555 --> 01:29:56,687
I gotta see her.
956
01:29:57,557 --> 01:29:58,471
You will.
957
01:30:15,532 --> 01:30:18,100
Hey, it's me. Don't hang up.
958
01:30:19,188 --> 01:30:21,755
If you check out, you
come back by 8:00 PM.
959
01:30:21,842 --> 01:30:24,628
If you come back by 8:00
PM, you take a test.
960
01:30:24,758 --> 01:30:27,065
Anything you bring
back will be searched.
961
01:30:27,196 --> 01:30:28,893
Anything on the list
will be confiscated.
962
01:30:29,763 --> 01:30:31,243
That includes mouthwash.
963
01:30:31,852 --> 01:30:33,985
Don't think we're not
wise on mouthwash.
964
01:31:23,513 --> 01:31:24,383
We're closed.
965
01:31:25,297 --> 01:31:26,211
That's okay.
966
01:31:28,300 --> 01:31:29,432
I don't got any money.
967
01:31:30,563 --> 01:31:31,695
I have somewhere to be.
968
01:31:32,391 --> 01:31:33,542
Can't get caught up
in you right now.
969
01:31:33,566 --> 01:31:34,959
I'm not in any trouble.
970
01:31:36,308 --> 01:31:38,397
Well, you know what I mean.
971
01:31:42,314 --> 01:31:43,954
I heard you've been
checking up on Nevaeh.
972
01:31:45,752 --> 01:31:48,320
Yeah. I understand.
973
01:31:49,365 --> 01:31:51,193
You're incognizant,
you don't give a shit.
974
01:31:52,368 --> 01:31:54,248
I have enough of my own
problems to worry about.
975
01:31:57,590 --> 01:31:58,809
I can't be your broken record.
976
01:32:15,695 --> 01:32:17,132
Mari.
977
01:32:25,836 --> 01:32:27,011
I got shoes on.
978
01:32:50,556 --> 01:32:52,036
I keep thinking about Toaster.
979
01:32:53,298 --> 01:32:54,169
What she told me.
980
01:32:55,953 --> 01:32:57,998
We gotta fight until
we fucking win.
981
01:33:25,765 --> 01:33:27,506
Don't look at me like that.
982
01:33:27,637 --> 01:33:28,986
She's taking a
shit. She'll be...
983
01:33:29,116 --> 01:33:30,944
Where are you taking
us Nick? Disneyland?
984
01:33:31,075 --> 01:33:33,251
Yeah, right, I bet he's gonna
take us to an NA meeting.
985
01:33:33,382 --> 01:33:34,462
Yeah, I'd be down for that.
986
01:33:34,513 --> 01:33:35,819
Come on.
987
01:33:36,602 --> 01:33:37,884
- Let's go to Splash Mountain.
- Yep, yep!
988
01:33:37,908 --> 01:33:39,605
Come on, Gata. Smile for me.
989
01:33:40,171 --> 01:33:42,478
Here's your smile, Shorty.
990
01:33:42,608 --> 01:33:44,369
Don't be like that. Just
one. Don't be like that!
991
01:33:44,393 --> 01:33:46,177
All right. Everybody in.
992
01:33:46,308 --> 01:33:47,483
Hey, what about Chama?
993
01:33:47,613 --> 01:33:48,533
Yeah, where's Chama at?
994
01:33:55,752 --> 01:33:56,752
It's fucking hot in here.
995
01:33:59,408 --> 01:34:00,235
Come on, girl.
996
01:34:04,369 --> 01:34:05,718
I like the sun on my face.
997
01:34:09,548 --> 01:34:12,116
It calms the
pounding in my chest.
998
01:34:13,552 --> 01:34:14,727
I wonder where we're going.
999
01:34:17,817 --> 01:34:20,603
If Nick really gets it.
1000
01:34:20,733 --> 01:34:22,735
I told him the truth.
1001
01:34:22,866 --> 01:34:25,260
About the doctor.
That I'm scared.
1002
01:34:36,836 --> 01:34:38,621
The sun feels bright on my face.
1003
01:35:00,338 --> 01:35:02,209
Take this over Magic Kingdom.
1004
01:35:02,340 --> 01:35:04,124
Damn, this shit's no joke.
1005
01:35:07,911 --> 01:35:08,781
Come on, Lucy.
1006
01:35:48,212 --> 01:35:50,345
There are thousands of
women that can't have kids.
1007
01:35:54,044 --> 01:35:55,350
And God's got jokes.
1008
01:36:00,485 --> 01:36:01,356
You want this baby?
1009
01:36:08,754 --> 01:36:10,365
But I don't deserve
either of them.
1010
01:36:17,937 --> 01:36:19,809
My first boyfriend
ended in assault.
1011
01:36:22,986 --> 01:36:24,074
Yeah, uh...
1012
01:36:26,642 --> 01:36:27,730
I wasn't the victim.
1013
01:36:35,302 --> 01:36:36,260
I was 18.
1014
01:36:37,348 --> 01:36:38,262
High.
1015
01:36:40,482 --> 01:36:42,527
Made a terrible decision,
1016
01:36:42,658 --> 01:36:45,530
ended up hurting the one
person that I truly loved.
1017
01:36:51,971 --> 01:36:54,278
Spent some time locked
up, hating myself.
1018
01:36:55,932 --> 01:36:57,412
Yeah, that never
really goes away.
1019
01:37:01,590 --> 01:37:05,028
But if you can turn guilt,
1020
01:37:05,158 --> 01:37:06,682
hate into something else...
1021
01:37:12,078 --> 01:37:14,124
you can do something
for the world
1022
01:37:14,254 --> 01:37:16,518
that's beyond yourself.
1023
01:37:26,963 --> 01:37:28,268
We're at the bottom of a hill.
1024
01:37:30,096 --> 01:37:31,271
Can you climb?
1025
01:39:43,882 --> 01:39:44,753
The 15th.
1026
01:39:47,016 --> 01:39:47,886
Next Friday.
1027
01:39:50,846 --> 01:39:52,126
You'll get to see your daughter.
1028
01:40:29,188 --> 01:40:30,799
My name isn't really Chama.
1029
01:40:34,106 --> 01:40:36,935
I saw this postcard once
of a mother and daughter
1030
01:40:37,066 --> 01:40:39,068
standing outside
Chama, New Mexico.
1031
01:40:40,983 --> 01:40:42,637
I wanted to live
in that postcard.
1032
01:40:47,772 --> 01:40:48,643
I talk to my mom.
1033
01:40:51,384 --> 01:40:52,472
And tell her things...
1034
01:40:53,865 --> 01:40:55,040
but not in real life...
1035
01:40:55,911 --> 01:40:57,652
because this reality
took her away.
1036
01:41:01,960 --> 01:41:04,180
I talk to her,
because I got to try
1037
01:41:04,310 --> 01:41:05,790
to understand my scars...
1038
01:41:07,879 --> 01:41:09,533
and not just pick at my scabs.
1039
01:41:18,237 --> 01:41:19,517
I've been through a lot of shit.
1040
01:41:22,241 --> 01:41:23,852
I've put people through...
1041
01:41:25,288 --> 01:41:26,463
a lot more.
1042
01:41:29,335 --> 01:41:30,467
It's not fair.
1043
01:41:33,470 --> 01:41:34,689
But like Nick says...
1044
01:41:36,778 --> 01:41:37,692
"Nothing is fair...
1045
01:41:39,084 --> 01:41:39,955
nothing is normal."
1046
01:41:45,438 --> 01:41:46,526
What have I done?
1047
01:41:50,226 --> 01:41:51,183
What am I doing?
1048
01:41:54,752 --> 01:41:55,840
If I'm not Chama, then...
1049
01:41:58,974 --> 01:42:00,062
who am I?
1050
01:42:15,164 --> 01:42:15,991
I'm an addict.
1051
01:42:20,909 --> 01:42:22,189
I've slept on the
streets, but...
1052
01:42:23,999 --> 01:42:25,087
I'm not homeless.
1053
01:42:29,178 --> 01:42:30,832
I'm terrified.
1054
01:42:37,360 --> 01:42:38,448
We need help.
1055
01:42:40,711 --> 01:42:41,581
I will help.
1056
01:42:53,332 --> 01:42:54,246
I'm here...
1057
01:42:55,421 --> 01:42:56,596
and I will be a mother.
1058
01:42:59,208 --> 01:43:00,035
I am a mother.
1059
01:46:02,782 --> 01:46:06,569
♪ Flower of the flowers
flowers from above ♪
1060
01:46:06,743 --> 01:46:11,139
♪ Today and forever,
know you have my love ♪
1061
01:46:11,313 --> 01:46:15,186
♪ Flower of the flowers
flowers from above ♪
1062
01:46:15,360 --> 01:46:19,364
♪ Today and forever,
know you have my love ♪
1063
01:47:33,003 --> 01:47:34,526
- Love you, Peggy.
- Love you, Mama.
1064
01:47:49,411 --> 01:47:54,155
♪ You came into my life ♪
1065
01:48:02,467 --> 01:48:07,646
♪ Like you've always been ♪
1066
01:48:07,820 --> 01:48:12,869
♪ By my side ♪
1067
01:48:15,480 --> 01:48:21,834
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1068
01:48:22,008 --> 01:48:27,579
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1069
01:48:27,753 --> 01:48:33,107
♪ All right ♪
1070
01:48:34,238 --> 01:48:39,113
♪ All right ♪
1071
01:48:42,551 --> 01:48:46,598
♪ Came into my life ♪
1072
01:48:48,600 --> 01:48:55,216
♪ And it became clear to me ♪
1073
01:48:55,303 --> 01:49:00,177
♪ Like you've always been ♪
1074
01:49:00,351 --> 01:49:05,487
♪ By my side ♪
1075
01:49:08,316 --> 01:49:14,757
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1076
01:49:14,931 --> 01:49:20,415
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1077
01:49:20,502 --> 01:49:25,289
♪ All right ♪
1078
01:49:27,291 --> 01:49:30,425
♪ All right ♪
1079
01:50:00,629 --> 01:50:06,069
♪ You came into my life ♪
1080
01:50:07,723 --> 01:50:14,295
♪ And it became clear to me ♪
1081
01:50:14,469 --> 01:50:20,431
♪ That you'd always be ♪
1082
01:50:20,605 --> 01:50:26,002
♪ By my side ♪
1083
01:50:28,613 --> 01:50:35,229
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1084
01:50:35,403 --> 01:50:40,712
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1085
01:50:40,886 --> 01:50:45,935
♪ All right ♪
1086
01:50:47,937 --> 01:50:52,246
♪ All right ♪
1087
01:50:54,726 --> 01:50:59,340
♪ All right ♪
73157
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