All language subtitles for Foodies.2022

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Today I'm joined by Sam van der Horst
from the food blog SamThingNice,

and powerfood loving Lilian Schaaf
from LilianLikes.

They explain all about their 10 challenges
they're doing together.

Go ahead, Sam.

We think very differently about food.

So my publisher thought it was an
interesting idea to contrast them.

- Publisher? Are you writing a book?
- I am.

It's been my dream since I was six.

- I've been a fan of yours since forever.
- That's super cute.

But we aren't here
to talk about your book.

No, in our challenges
we get the same assignments.

But our approaches
are completely different.

Rumor has it that you're both
in the running for a new TV show.

- How exciting.
- Very exciting.

Hey, this is Sam from SamThingNice.
I'm on my allotment...

standing near the cavalo nero.
It's Italian kale.

It's great in pasta
or stir frying it with chickpeas.

This local kale is hardly found
in grocery store.

Instead they do have green
beans from Peru.

And we have Swiss chard again.

Super tasty. Wash them first
or you'll have sand between your teeth.

And manure....

This new cooking show from RTL.
Who should present it?

It depends on what RTL wants.

I love Sam's organic aspect.
Wonderful!

That's your thing, but I like Lilian,
she's a great fit girl.

Presenting it together,
that would be interesting.

Not together!
They can't stand each other.

That's true.

For today's challenge I'm going to eat
the ghost pepper.

In 2007, it won an award
for the hottest pepper in the...

OK. Just eat it.

I'm just going to eat it.

Sam, is there a
Mr. Perfect in your life?

Well, I'm not really...

A man that cooks for you twice

and 3 months later is taking a shit
with the door open? No, thanks.

- What's your name, by the way?
- Joshua.

Keep your hands up.

- Keep going.
- Sam, look over here. Picture.

Shit.

- Duco.
- Hey, Samantha?

- Mom?
- Yes.

- When can Dad and I come for a visit?
- Hey.

- Next week?
- OK.

Oh, fuck. Shit.
Sorry, Mom, I have an appointment.

Do you need anything
from our vegetable garden?

- Yes, grapes.
- Is she in a rush again?

- I have to go. I'll see you later.
- Hi, sweetie.

No!

- Salam.
- Aylakum salam.

Hi, hi.

- Hi.
- Where were you?

- Good to see you.
- Sorry I'm late.

Thank you for all the attention
on social media for our venture,

and that you wanted to help
with the cooking.

Technically, Sam was too late
to help with the cooking.

- But the dishes still need to be done.
- Yeah, no problem.

- Ok, ciao, ciao.
- Bye, thanks again.

- Where's the kitchen?
- I'll show you.

Sorry. Just tasting
to see if they are ripe.

And?

Very nice.

- Like a tiny kiwi.
- That's right.

Sorry. Country girl.
I'll have two boxes.

Know what you're going
to make with them?

Yes.

What?

Are you asking me about
the chef's secret?

5.50.

- Can I use my debit card?
- No, the machine doesn't work.

Shit.

- I haven't seen you here before.
- Haven't seen you either.

There's usually a woman here.
Very kind, but a bit slovenly.

Like someone with psoriasis who keeps
an open can of cat food in the fridge.

She's my mom.

Don't, Lilian.

You don't look good, sweetie.

Chamomile tea on your eyes.
Works wonders.

- 5.50, please.
- Right.

Oh, hello.

What a gorgeous... shop you have.

- Excuse me?
- It's for my blog.

What's your Insta?
Or send me a DM and I'll tag you.

- No, I'm not into that nonsense.
- Excuse me?

That nonsense is read
by a 100,000 people.

That's up to them.
I don't like that sensationalist hype

of super foods and killer bodies.

You can forget about your free exposure.

That's such a shame.

I just don't like food bloggers.

I have to go.

Stop. Hold on.

- 5.50?
- Right. Do you have cash?

Cash?

- Can you send me a Venmo?
- No.

But I'm going to pick fruit on Sunday
and I can use some help.

A nice little earner. 5.50 an hour.

- As it happens.
- As it happens.

- Maybe.
- Then I'll need your number.

06...

- ...1388 2...
- Hold on.

I have a New Year's Eve party
in four months,

so it would nice
if you could be done by then.

Wait, I'll try another way.

Marco.

Sam.

Hey, honey, I've got them.

How are your cats, Mom?

What on earth are you talking about?
I hate cats.

OK, thank you.

Bye.

You've got 46 likes
on Instagram already.

- Did you post it?!
- Of course not. I wouldn't.

- Thanks for the berries.
- Of course.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Hey, ugly mug.
- Hello, hello.

Look at these gorgeous
watermelon radishes.

- Great.
- Right.

- Your visionary friend is here.
- Is he?

- Are we ready?
- Yes, I just picked up the last things.

- Why not have one of the girls do that?
- They're colleagues.

- I like to pick up my own stuff.
- That's why I hired you.

Other idea. I ordered an oyster girl
for tonight.

- But they aren't in season yet.
- Who cares?

People want it
and they're fresh from China.

Then it looks like we have no idea.
That we're just doing something.

It's presentation, trimming. Whatever.
My department.

You do your thing,
I stay out of it.

I do my thing
and you stay out of it.

But oysters? Now?

That's for people who drive
an all-terrain vehicle in the city.

What's wrong with that?
It'll be fine.

Hi, yes I have a restaurant these days
with the best chef in Amsterdam.

But he still has to learn who's the boss.

I'm not making this meringue with egg,
but with aquafaba.

That's the liquid of chickpeas
you normally throw out.

Inspired by the classic
lemon meringue pie,

I'm making a kiwi berry meringue pie.

These are a kind of mini kiwi
flavor bombs.

- And they're super sustainable.
- Nice country girl.

They don't have to be imported
like the ordinary kiwi.

- Interesting. I didn't know that.
- That's why we want Sam.

The concept is simple.

Each week a different local ingredient
stars in both a savory and sweet recipe.

- Do I have wet spots?
- No.

But you do smell a bit of onions.

Think what it will do for your book
when you've got your own show.

- If I ever finish it.
- You will.

I nearly finished the recipes,
but I better get started on the content.

Not that long story about
how beets grow, though.

Everyone's busy, so it can't be
too complicated or expensive.

And with a marketing angle
like Fajah's cellulite book.

And maybe delicious and nice
and authentic?

- I hope Duco's enthusiastic too.
- SamThingNice, right?

- Selfie?
- OK

- It seems I smell of onions, though.
- We're fine with that.

- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

- Come, I need to tell you something.
- What?

- I met a cute greengrocer.
- No way!

- Did you score a date?
- We haven't set a date yet. Look.

Is he hot? Does he have
SamThingNice in his grocery stall?

I haven't seen his zucchini yet.

- Just like that? Not even on Tinder?
- Right.

- Miracles never cease.
- But he hates food bloggers.

- Why?
- He thinks it's sensationalist.

That's good. You've been celibate
for long enough.

Ask him out and he'll see you're terrific.

Bye, sweetie.

- See you later, alligator.
- In a while, crocodile.

What's up?

Nothing.

OK, ok, ok. I met a girl.

Really?

I've asked her to pick fruit toghether.

Picking fruit, you romantic.

Why do my women never ask
something like that?

- Where are the extra tables?
- Why?

We counted on 60 people,
but the printout says 80.

Henry said it's OK.

- Hey, doll.
- Feel like having a free dinner?

OK, guys. Do we want to change
anything before we serve?

- More flavor?
- No.

- It's fine like this.
- Hey, Marco.

- It's the only thing Arie had left.
- Mom, you're an angel.

- Good luck.
- Talk to you later.

- It reminds me of my ex.
- We can't make ceviche out of that.

We'll smoke it and make a rillette.

- With creamy lemon mayo, chives.
- And tarragon.

- One of the food critics wants a word.
- Can the fish be marinated?

- Maybe later.
- You can't let her wait.

Not right now. Fish should already
have been in the marinade.

Later.

- Your mom called me.
- Why?

- Because you weren't picking up again.
- What did you say?

That I'll make sure you'll eat
your vegetables.

Good.

Cheese!

No.

This is just...

I've got an idea.

You aren't the only blogger in the house.

- Hey, your favorite colleague.
- Absofreakinglutely.

Ready? Writing a review
is a different kettle of fish.

At least you have
an opinion about everything.

Hi, welcome to Ginger&Co.

- Did you book a table?
- Yes.

Guys, it's filled to the rafters.
Transavia can learn a lesson from that.

- We have 20 extra people.
- Yes, I invited food bloggers and VIPs.

Food bloggers?

- Sam van der Horst plus one.
- Van der Horst.

Nice outfit.

- Could it be in a different name?
- No, it has to be Van der Horst.

I'm sorry.

I have a food blog
and I was invited by... Harry.

- Henry.
- Right.

On Insta you said you were invited.

- Yes, by Harry.
- Henry.

Our followers will be disappointed
if our last challenge is off.

We need them. That's how it works.

Thank God we have 20 professional
reviewers for dinner.

Know what? Let's bake some fat free
muffins, so they'll have enough food.

I have faith in you guys.
Go get 'em.

I'm here for the fire-eating act.

Sam from SamThingNice!
Sarah, give them a nice table.

Welcome, Lilian from LilianLikes.
Follow me.

I have one table left.
Follow me.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

We've been here for an hour
and I haven't even had a drink.

I feel like my sister in a swingers club.

My colleague will be right with you.

Your colleague said that
30 minutes ago.

I apologize, it's very busy.
Have you made a choice?

Yes, we'd like a tasting menu.

- I have to discuss that with the chef.
- Shared dining is possible everywhere.

I'll go and ask.

- Jacco...
- What?

- It's very busy. Those girls are trying.
- The customer is king.

And it will be material for your review.

There you go, ladies,
Oyster Mushroom Flambé.

Thank you.

- It's busy enough as it is.
- They really wanted...

Food bloggers.
Cut them short right away.

Cut them short.

I apologize. The chef...

Can come and tell us
why this is such a complicated request.

Jac, come on.

Then I'd like...

One ceviche.

There. The mushy peas celebrating
carrots and the ceviche.

- Enjoy.
- Thank you.

No, wait.

There.

Wow, this is so good.

It looks wonderful.

- Two ceviche.
- Yep.

- Isn't it finished by now?
- This is the new batch, chef.

Hey, Mr. Greengrocer?

Do you work here?

- Have you met the chef yet?
- I prefer to be objective.

You'll write something kind anyway.

A tasteless review
that's no good to anyone.

I'm not afraid to give an opinion.

Sometimes it's harsh.

But at least I'm honest.
My followers appreciate that.

You just want people to like you.

Cuddle foodie.

- Sorry, something went wrong.
- Yes, that was very wrong.

- Can I offer you something else?
- A hamburger place?

Jac...

- The eggplant, please.
- There's none left.

Maybe the salty-sweet popsicle
on a plate with seaweed crumb?

Is it the upside-down popsicle
that costs 13 euros?

Yes.

Briny oyster on the house?

But it isn't in season.

Don't you know what these snotty boys
do with naughty girls like you?

No, thanks.

I think we're done here.

They're fresh, you know.

So, what do you think?
Covers and blurbs have to stand out.

They have to pick out yours.
Why do you think Heleen sells so well?

- I...
- It isn't because of her writing style.

- This sells. You do yoga, right?
- Boxing. I find yoga...

Yoga chicks will buy your book.

Always working on balance
and wearing a sports bra.

Couldn't it be...

I'll have Louise schedule
a photo shoot.

And you have to think about
your deadline.

I can't wait for your first version.

I have to take this.

You're doing a great job.
Thank you.

The Duke speaking.

I'll take care of it for you.

Sam?

Were you exercising?

Duco wants me
to go on the cover like this.

- Really, That's not you.
- I know, that's exactly the problem.

Don't worry. The publishers
will be at your feet, because...

...you're among the last two.

- Really?
- Last audition next week.

If you do it like you did last time,
you'll be in 100 percent.

- Don't wear this, though.
- Who's the other contender?

Elody wanted her.

But I'll make sure
it's going to be you.

We'll finally be working together.

You'll be the new Jamie Oliver,
but nicer and prettier,

and without a zucchini.

- It's a bit early for this.
- I have something to celebrate as well.

Elody is going to be in charge
of the foreign branch.

- Guess who's going to replace her?
- Really?

- Congrats.
- I still have to prove myself.

- I can't afford to make any mistakes.
- Your perfection personified.

I know,
but they have to see that as well.

Did you get in touch
with the greengrocer yet?

- No, I'm way too busy with that deadline.
- Come on.

Or you'll go from forgotten vegetables
to forgotten greengrocer.

Do it.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Oh, no.
- Hold on.

Those filters are incredible.
Number greengrocer. There you go.

Got it?

There. Are you proud of me?

- Good, huh? Made it myself.
- Wonderful.. What's in it?

- He sent an 'x'.
- I send that to my handyman too.

- You really need to wear something else.
- Right. Shit.

Come on.

Country girl.

- Shall we?
- Yep.

You do that very professionally.

Picking apples.
Stealing specific berries.

- Do you do something with fruit?
- Eat it.

In terms of work.

No, I...

I write.

- A cookbook.
- That's great.

Are you a chef?

No.

I write about food and stuff..
I do photography. Anyway..

- You're a greengrocer.
- No, the shop's my mom's.

I'm a chef.

Chef. Really?

Look, ground elder. It's edible.

- I use it a lot.
- Don't.

- No, don't.
- It's good.

I know it's edible, but I saw
a sheep pee on this particular one.

- Couldn't you have said so sooner?
- You were too fast.

Here.

Ripened cashew cheese in volcanic ash.

- It's divine.
- Isn't it?

- Best apple pie in Amsterdam.
- After mine?

"Winkel" at the Organic Market.

Best croissant in Amsterdam?

- Fort Nine.
- Niemeijer.

Touché.

At least three parts of butter
to ten parts of flour.

- But it can't feel greasy to the touch.
- And it has to be crispy.

There should be a national ban
on whole wheat croissants.

And on whole wheat pasta.
Eat a sandwich if you want whole wheat.

That's different. I have a wonderful
recipe for whole wheat pasta.

Sorry, I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

I might make it for you someday.

I'll pretend I did hear that.

Have dinner at my restaurant sometime.
It's around the corner.

Is that your restaurant?

- Yeah. Coming in?
- No.

Yes. No, I...

I have an appointment.
Completely forgot.

Stupid of me. So... bye.

- Sam?
- Yes?

I had a great time.

Me too.

Bye. Oh, shit.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Voicemail Jacco. I never listen
to my voicemails, so send a text. Bye.

We had some more cancellations,
so we're going to make a change.

I want more refinement
like mousse and aspic.

Look at those guys
from the Avocado Show. They get it.

But we can look for refinement
in something else.

Polo, you're good in the kitchen,
I'm a trendsetter. Top team.

My preference...

Have you never been taught

that you don't start whining
until after your trial period?

- Those lamps...
- Golden lamps. All the rage.

Let's do it. I want two over there...

- Don't put up with everything he says.
- I'm not.

Sometimes you have to compromise.

Does he have a lot of ideas? Yes.
They're not always the best.

But he's had a few successful
companies.

Do you really believe that?

If you keep doing what he says, we'll
be working in a fairground attraction.

- What is this?
- It's still a draft, but it shows you...

I want a diet, not some funny
recipe book. I thought that was clear.

- But my blog...
- Your blog is no longer relevant.

You've become a brand.
That doesn't demand random recipes.

It needs a lifestyle, a diet.

You want to become major league, right?

I want a nice personal cookbook that...

Personal is good.
Personal is the key word.

Your lifestyle. Your diet.

Your killer body.

I need a result next week
or you'll have to pay back the advance.

My appointment is here.
Go get 'em.

Frans, how are you?
Long time no see. Have a seat.

Ms. van der Horst? Sam?
I wanted to say...

Super thanks.

You made me more aware
of what I eat.

- That's good to hear.
- And don't mind, Duco.

He acts tough,
but I think he's compensating.

- Ah, classic.
- I know.

Selfie?

I've been following you
for two years.

- Keep it.
- Thank you.

What the fuck?

Lilian?

Lilian!

- Can we talk?
- Hey, Sam, how nice.

- Did you pick fruit with the greengrocer?
- Why did you post my review?

Because you're too chicken
to be honest, again.

- I can't do a challenge on my own.
- Remove it.

Once online, forever online.

I know you're a total amateur, but do
I need to explain the internet to you?

Bitch.

Take that review offline.

- Give me my phone.
- No.

- Give it.
- No.

Look.

- If you don't post it, I won't either.
- Deal.

Marco, I should have told you
right away, but I...

I have a food blog.

No.

I should have told you before,
but I'm a food blogger.

Marco, I...

have been lying all along...

...to you. And I know you really
hate foodbloggers, but...

I'm going to make it even worse now...

No. Shit.

Well well well.

I've got something for you.

- Chocolate?
- The chocolate is irrelevant.

Chocolate is never irrelevant.

Want this?

It's about the small thing inside.
That's the real surprise.

Yeah, but not every surprise is nice.

You ate his egg.
He needs a home.

Talking about not so nice surprises...

- Nice, huh, Amsterdam?
- Come on.

Well, what I want to say...

OK, I have a food blog.

- I know you hate food bloggers...
- What's your diet called?

Sorry, that was rude.

No, I know what you mean,
but my blog isn't about trends.

I try to make people think about
local and seasonal food.

But sometimes I have to do things
that don't really suit me.

Same here. My boss constantly
tells me what to do.

The food has to be Instagrammable.

You have to be able to taste the passion
from the photo.

But passion is such a cliché.
It once meant love and small scale.

But now bread from the grocery store
is called passion too.

I think you are very passionate.

- Come in.
- It's still closed.

No, I know someone here.

You know, if it doesn't work out, I can
call a friend with a restaurant in Milan.

He has a piece of land where they grow
their own vegetables and olives.

Sorry.

Marco speaking.

Yes.

Where did that come from
all of a sudden?

Yeah, but I...

I can be there in three hours.

OK, fine. I'm on my way.

- Sorry, I have to go.
- What's wrong?

A fellow food blogger has written
a very negative review.

That Lilian.

- Marco, I...
- I have to go.

No, I have to tell you...
Marco?

'Rotten fish.'

'Soulless.'

'Inflexible.'

Those aren't my favorite hash tags, Polo.

- Here: 'The chef is obviously clueless.'
- It's just one review.

But people take it seriously.

They parrot each other.

Reservations are being cancelled.

Our reviews went from 4.5 to 1.
In less than an hour.

- Does it happen that fast?
- Welcome to the 21st century.

You're the kind of guy who
thinks at late nigth shopping:

"I have to hurry,
because internet closes at nine"

Here. This food critic writes: 'Ceviche
with rotten fish is a mortal sin.'

Another one: 'Cancelled right away.'

'Don't feel like wasting time and money
in the umpteenth 'not-quite' restaurant.'

We're dead and buried
before we've even started.

But I'm not going to take it lying down.

We're taking it up a notch.

The fish was a mistake,
because we had to improvise.

Let me do it my way.

But then it has to be
El Bulli 2.0 style.

I'll put together a new menu tomorrow.

We can present
it to the guests on Thursday.

- I'll come too.
- It's your day off.

I'll be there.

Henry?

Hey, doll, have you finished your dish
for the audition?

I have a meeting with Elody coming up.

She loves pasta with goat cheese.
Just so you know.

- How did the greengrocer react?
- Lilian posted my review.

And he read it.

- Shit. Was he angry?
- Yes. At Lilian.

- He thinks she wrote it.
- This isn't the time to fuck up.

It happened so fast. I tried to tell him,
but I couldn't manage it.

- Sam, you have to be honest.
- Yeah, I know.

- Shit. Elody. I have to go. Good luck.
- Thanks. Bye.

- Did you actually read it?
- Don't want to.

She's right, though.
Things didn't go well that evening.

Are you defending her?

And that oyster girl. Seriously.
What the fuck?

We're going to do it differently.
Or did you just come to whine?

No, no. No.

Mom? Oh, no.

It's so nice when your daughter
is happy to see you.

- Hi, daughter.
- Hey.

- What's going on here?
- No, no, no.

Oh, fuck.

- Open a window.
- Dad, switch off the smoke detector.

I am. It'll be fine.

- Ah, this is the culprit.
- Damn noise.

Well...

- Let's see...
- Mom, don't.

I'm not doing anything,
just making some room.

Diet? What can you still have?
Hot water with mint?

Careful with my worm stool.

Your what?

It's a small composter for city dwellers.

- Wonderful grapes.
- Thanks, Mom.

Look what I found.

Your big hero when you were 12.
Still recognize him?

Ooh, Rudolph. 'Life and Cooking.'

Look, here is your old recipe book.

Inspiration for your book.
We thought it might inspire you.

We don't have room for all that stuff.

You have four bedrooms
and a huge garage.

Choco-pear cake.

Can you take this back home?

Geez, what a mess here.

I'm preparing for an audition and I also
have to go to the allotment.

We'll come with you. Come on.

- Come on, honey.
- No.

- Come on.
- OK.

That restaurant is in trouble
because of me.

If the food wasn't good,
then it wasn't good.

- You were objective. That counts.
- That's exactly the point.

The food was kind of interesting.

It's just that a lot of things
went wrong that evening,

and I might have let myself be tempted
to be more critical than usual.

Why?

- Lilian.
- Is she one with the teeth?

No, the one with the sports bra.

- Basil for your pesto. Do you need it?
- Yes.

- Want me to pick some?
- Yes. Thanks, Dad.

What if they go bankrupt
because of me?

If people like the food,
they'll soon forget about that review.

- It's over here.
- No, that's mint, honey.

They don't forget a review that quickly.

When something is online,
it remains online.

Yes, that's true.

Take that guy you like.
What's his name?

- George Clooney?
- No, that nice one.

Brad Pitt?

No, the one with the blue eyes.
What's his name?

- Ooh, Jude.
- Jude Law.

He made one mistake. It will haunt him
for the rest of his life.

- Well, it was stupid of him.
- Yes, to tell it.

- Dad...
- So you're going to be on TV.

If the audition goes well.

Take it easy, though.
We worry about you sometimes.

No need, Mom.

Wait a minute.

Snails. That isn't good.

Here, take this home,
or you'll have to throw it out tomorrow.

Throw it out?

Mom, you're a genius.

- Sam.
- Hey.

Where are you?

Hello?

Hi.

Hi.

- You must be Sam.
- Yes.

- Audrey.
- Sam.

I think...

OK.

I'm off.

Oh, sorry.

I...

- I need to...
- OK.

- Coming in?
- Yes.

- I've got an idea.
- Do you? What is it?

We have to put you on the map
as a chef in one blow

without it becoming a hype.

So it has to be something lasting,
something that suits you.

Am I lasting?

Maybe.

Look, #ZeroWaste has 8.9 million posts
on Instagram...

and 5.1 million posts on 'Fine Dining'.

What I mean is: more and more people
don't want to use plastic anymore,

and don't want food to be wasted.

But the only zero waste restaurants
in town serve mediocre cafeteria food.

So what Amsterdam needs is a zero
waste restaurant with fine dining dishes.

That's it.

Making miso out of lemon peel,
growing mushrooms on coffee grounds,

fermenting what would otherwise
go rotten.

I know plenty of suppliers who throw out
their food because it isn't perfect.

Talking about not perfect,

I brought not so perfect kale
from my allotment.

I thought you could turn it
into something perfect.

Of my dad, I only remember
cooking together.

And that I had to taste everything.
Smell first, then taste.

After he died, my mom had to
work her butt off to take care of us.

I had to fend for myself.
Ah, well.

What about you?

I remember that my parents and I...

...washed, dried and sowed the seeds
from one pumpkin.

A few months later, the garden
was full of little pumpkins.

So magical.

In high school, I spent
all of my clothing allowance on food.

- Did you? Such as?
- French cheese, new herring...

Just everything interesting and tasty.

What are you doing?

Sorry, my girlfriend
is a big fan of hers.

- You could have asked first.
- Yeah, sorry.

- It's OK. Let's take a photo together.
- Really?!

She'll love it.

- What's your girlfriend called?
- Simone.

- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

- Again, sorry.
- It's OK.

- Bye. Thank you.
- Bye.

How do you deal with this?

- It's part of it.
- Bye-bye.

Wave at him.

Bye.

Amsterdam is so beautiful and peaceful
when you're on the water.

To the Amsterdam canals

I've lost my heart forever

Amsterdam fills my thoughts

as the most beautiful city
in our country

All those Amsterdam people

who are actually from the countryside

but never want to move elsewhere

but they do want a parking permit

I don't have a car

All those lights in the square
late at night

No one can wish for anything better

than to be an Amsterdammer
to be a country girl

Fuck.

Why were you so hard to reach?

Were you at your greengrocer's?

No way. Tell me everything.

But not now.
I'm totally stressed out.

Me too.

And now my recipe for old school
pasta pesto, but with a twist.

Instead of parmesan, I'll be using
great cheese.

Did I say great cheese?
I meant goat cheese.

It's better for your guts.

The viewers don't want stories
about bowel movements, do they?

Pasta pesto, goat cheese.

It's better for the...

...body.

Sorry, I lost the plot.

- Take your time.
- Well...

Right.

We got the picture, Sam.
Thank you.

- I can start over.
- That's not necessary.

- I know enough.
- Sorry, I don't know exactly...

I think... Nervous.

Jacco, can you show Sam out
and Lilian in?

Thank you, Sam.

How did it go?

Your review is really going viral.

Is that why you have problems
with your website?

Or are you busy with other things?

Lilian, are you ready?

Born ready, Jackie, let's go.

Yes.

Hi, this is Marco's voicemail.
Leave a message after the beep.

Hey Marco, could you maybe call me
when you're finished?

The new menu. Smoked Schiphol
goose with a cream of kale,

and rye bread miso.

Roasted apple
with a black garlic lacquer.

Yeah, yeah, let's just taste it.

The entire dish is made from food
that would be thrown out.

Zero waste.

What is this?
I'm at a table, not a garbage can.

- Wow, Marco...
- I'll explain it one more time.

People come here to be surprised.

Every time they come here

they have to get something
they've never seen before.

Or tasted, maybe?
It has to be good as well.

Of course.
But I miss the wow.

I miss the 'Ooh, what is this?
What am I experiencing?'

'Everyone has to see this.'
Click, click, click. Social media.

I miss that. You know,
a shape that looks like a glass,

and bouillon poured over it
and that it melts in front of your eyes.

But you come up with this.

Something that even
an Italian housewife can make.

- Hold on.
- In her spare time.

If you don't want my input,
why did you hire me?

Good point. You're fired.

Excuse me?

I don't have the time to hold your hand.

- Tonight is your last evening.
- Fine.

- Bye, Marco.
- Bye, Henry.

No new messages.

Sam?

Well, I can congratulate you.

- With what?
- With the show, nerd.

But the audition...

On the condition that you stop
doubting yourself all the time.

No one wants to watch that.

Congratulations!

I wasn't able to access your site.
Can you get it back up in the air ASAP?

- Yeah...
- Thank you.

By this afternoon.

I have to go.

Sam?

Sam!

What's going on with you? I had to praise
you right through the Ozon layer.

But you don't seem to care.

Hey, hello. I really had
to convince Elody, you know.

She was tending towards Lilian.

- Fuck.
- What?

You're kidding.

I have to go and see Marco.

Hi, this is Marco's voicemail.
Leave a message after the beep.

Hi, this is Marco's voicemail.
Leave a message after the beep.

- Marco, I...
- It isn't even the review.

That's your opinion.

And you were right
about an important issue.

But it's underhanded of you
not to say anything for all that time.

Putting on an act.

How hypocritical must you be?

I was just waiting for the right moment...

- The right moment?
- Marco, please, I...

The man says: get out.

Have a nice evening.

We're diving into the world
of food bloggers.

After a harsh review, the life of
SamThingNice changes into...

SomeThingBad.

It was a lot harsher
than I'm used to from Sam.

And it was gone all of a sudden.
That was too much of a coincidence.

Look, falling in love happens...

that isn't the issue,.
I'm happy for her.

The only thing that bothers me
is that she lied.

That just isn't done.

Our followers deserve the truth.

There's enough bullshit on...

- That's her, from SamThingNice.
- Really?

I think she's so two-faced.

He isn't home.

Here.

OK, thank you.

The choice for you as host
of our show has been withdrawn.

What? But I...

We have a good reputation
and we'd like to keep it that way.

- The contract has already been signed.
- Sam...

Be happy you don't have to pay
for the damage we suffered.

Jacco?

Do you have anything to add?

No, I get it.

- 'I get it'?
- I put my head on the block for you.

Why don't you get that?
You were the best.

- But you fucked up.
- Jac, I...

I was nearly fired too.

Someone on the board
accused me of nepotism.

You're just dropping me.

- Who's dropping who?
- I told you to be honest to him.

Right, stick you head in the sand
as usual.

Right, you're perfect!

Apparently not perfect enough,
because I've lost that promotion.

- Jac!
- No.

Jac?

Oh, honey.

It's good you came.

Oh, sweetie.

Give me your bag.

If only I could...

It even contains built-in pumice
to remove rough calluses...

...a color. You can always take
the horned melon.

A very special fruit
with a delicious flavor.

Apart from it being a healthy shake,
we also want it to look great.

- And there...
- If only I could be with you...

- Tea. Sugar's on the table.
- Who still uses sugar in their tea?

Why don't you go outside for a while?

Some fresh air?

Lying on the couch all day
doesn't make you happy.

I wish you weren't so far away from me

Then I'd be able to show...

Have you tasted the nasturtium yet?

Here.

Dad?

- Yes?
- Do you ever read my blog?

Sure. Your mom and I
read everything.

When you read it, do you think:

Well, that's typical Sam?

Yeah, it looks nice.

And everything is healthy.

And you have a lot of followers.

It's busy, though.

Shouldn't you take it easier sometimes?

Like those snails.

Your mom's nightmare.

Want a go?

Sam's cookbooks

Sam's cookbook

meringue ghosts

What do you need?
Eggs, powdered sugar, chocolate...

Christmas snacks

For my birthday we make an apple pie,
with whipped cream

Here we dried grandpa's apples.

Smells good, but making
apple pie is more fun.

Oh, honey.

- Call me when you get home.
- I will.

- Thanks, Mom.
- Sure.

Hey, Mom, I did it.

My own 'Sex and the City' moment.

- Hi.
- Hi, Sam, we have work to do.

- What?
- I'll be there in four minutes.

Make sure you're ready
and wear something nice.

Luckily for us, Reviewgate
doesn't need to hamper your book.

There's no such thing as bad publicity.

Louise told me last night
about your revelations.

- It's so inspiring.
- That's exactly what people want.

A diet book with personal pieces
about what you went through recently.

Marco and those new insights.
BAM bestseller.

- We never gave up on you.
- Where are we going exactly?

My wife plays tennis with Loretta.

It's a great opportunity
we are taking with both hands.

Loretta?

Yo, it's me. We're here.

Come on, move it.
Move, move, move.

There, you look great again.

Wonderful.

Welcome to 'Coffee Time'.

Our guest today is food blogger
Sam van der Horst.

- Sam, it's good to see you.
- Thank you for having me.

We all know Sam from her food blog
SamThingNice.

But recently she became
the talk of the town.

I can put it that way, can't I?
The talk of the town?

It was quite intense.

Right?

- Right.
- Right.

And now there's that apology blog
you posted yesterday.

None of us understands it anymore.

Tell us about it,
because we're confused.

Sure.

Well...

My blog came about
through my passion.

No. No, sorry, through my love
of good food.

Honest and healthy recipes.
That's also...

Arjan!

...what made SamThingNice popular.

But with that success I got the feeling
I had to keep my followers happy.

Because I was a food blogger
I started to do certain things.

Then I was allowed
to write a cookbook.

I've wanted to do that since I was six.

But my publisher wanted to go
in a completely different direction.

I started doing things
that were expected of me.

Or even worse, things I thought
other people expected of me.

Like challenges and reviews.

That's called being an influencer.

But I actually felt I was just
being constantly influ...

- ...influenc...
- Influenced.

...influed by other people.

- Is that what it's called?
- I know what you mean.

Anyway,
when everything collapsed...

I suddenly realized that I'd gotten very
far away from what makes me happy.

It's a bit late for this, sweetie.

What message do you want
to give your followers?

That you have to be true to yourself.

When something doesn't feel right,
it usually isn't.

I'm done with being
permanently dissatisfied

and always wanting
to become more perfect.

I just want to do things...

...that make me happy.

Back to basics.

Yes. Back to basics, I think.

- Thank you.
- We have a surprise for you. Watch this.

Let's see if he's home.

Marco?

Good morning, Marco.
'Coffee Time'.

You're live on the show.

What's your response
to Sam's latest blog?

Didn't read it.

She's decided to do things
very differently.

And she really really regrets
what's happened.

Would you like
to say something to her?

- No, I'm leaving.
- Oh, really, where are you going?

Somewhere far away
from Amsterdam. Bye.

But, Marco... Marco...

Can I say hello to someone?
Hello, Mom! Greetings from me!

Did you know this?

This was my idea, baby.
Isn't it terrific?

- Fuck you and your fucking diet.
- Why are you being so difficult?

Do you want
to make a nice book or not?

This is the best PR
from here to Alaska. Amateur!

- Excuse me?
- What?

You're such a dick.

Yeah, but...

I'll call you back, OK?

Sorry.

Come here.

What will you do now?

I don't know.
Maybe there's another publisher...

- No, silly. About Marco, of course.
- He obviously doesn't want me.

Sweetie, open your eyes.
He wants you.

Without filters and followers.
He wants you.

You just have to try harder.

You finally found someone who wants
to listen to your beet stories.

Italy.

Far away from Amsterdam. Milan.

A friend of his has a restaurant there.
So he's leaving.

Taxi!

- Jac, we aren't in New York.
- I just ordered an Uber.

- This one?
- Yeah.

- Jacqueline? To the Houthavens?
- Yes. Step on it, please.

Someone has to be convinced
of the importance of romance.

- It's faster by bike.
- But then she'll get there all sweaty.

- Can't you go faster?
- Well... See? That won't work.

Let's see if I can go through here...

A bit like this, ladies.
That's how it goes in Amsterdam.

- You can do this, OK?
- OK.

Hurry.

Rietbergen,
check out that purple taxi, dick.

Ladies, get out of the car.

Hi honey, give us a kiss.

Welcome to Amsterdam.
An amusement park for drunks.

- I'm going to run.
- What?

Kissy kissy please!

I'm wearing heels.
I'll be there as soon as I can.

Can I have a kiss?

You're too late.

Really? Shit.

- Italy?
- So you can break his heart again?

- It didn't go like that.
- It did go like that.

And who had to pick up the pieces?
Me.

Stop, stop.

I'm sorry for calling you
a slovenly, old cat lady.

Good going, sister.

Sorry, sorry.

- I have to know where Marco is, or...
- Or what?

Or I don't know anymore. Please.

I'm here!

- Sir, we're in a rush.
- Schiphol.

You probably pictured yourself
running to the gate.

- He isn't taking a plane.
- So what is he taking?

- Milan?
- Rome. Milan just drove away.

Fuck.

Just kidding.
This one's going to Milan.

- Coming?
- No.

I just have to say something
to someone.

OK, quickly.

Marco?

Marco.

Sorry. I know you don't want me,

and I understand you prefer
to go olive picking.

But I have to tell you I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about the review,
but even more so that I didn't tell you.

I'm sorry I didn't dare to be myself,
like you.

I was afraid to lose you
before I even had you.

I understand quite well
that you don't want me anymore.

But I do want you.

I want you.

I want to talk about food with you until
the early hours while you kiss my neck.

And in the morning we can discuss
where we get our croissants.

Drinking coffee made by a percolator,

and be amazed that some people
put up with Senseo coffee.

And I want to argue with you
about the best way to shell peas.

And starting a worm hotel together
and make miso.

And make out underneath the fig tree
on my allotment.

And I want to miss you when you spend
long evenings in the kitchen.

And feeling myself complete
when we spoon in bed.

I want to be who I am with you.

Or being who I always was.
I just lost myself for a while.

I'm so sorry that I fucked up.

Are you done, dear?

Sorry.

Sam?

It's OK.

It wasn't OK, but...

- It's OK.
- Really?

I'd love to start a worm hotel with you.

- Hello, country girl.
- Hello, greengrocer.

- Sam?
- Yes?

- This is the porch.
- Gosh, look at that.

- Nice, huh?
- It's wonderful.

It's really...

Hey.

- You must be Mieke and Arjan.
- Yes.

- And you're Loes?
- Nice to meet you.

- Hi, honey.
- Hello.

- Marco.
- So what do you think?

Welcome.

- They did all this on their own.
- Yes, our children are very capable.

- We brought something for you, Loes.
- You shouldn't have. How nice.

- For your cats.
- Dad...

- What?
- That's great.

- Oh, sweetie.
- Nice, huh?

Great photo.

- I want to show it to Marco.
- Boxes full.

- Honey?
- Yes?

- It's here.
- Look.

- Nice, huh?
- It worked out very well.

- Champagne.
- Look.

- Oh, nice.
- Thank you.

Nice. Thank you.

Where's Jacco?

Here she is.

Look, sweetie.
I'm sure you'd like a glass.

- Mieke.
- Hey.

- Arjan.
- Jacqueline.

- Sweetie, you've got some...
- What?

The corner of your mouth...
Cheers, Jacqueline.

Cheers, Samantha.

- To 'Sam Marco'.
- To Sam Marco.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

We'll get another bottle.

- Let me have a look.
- Nice, huh?

You did write an entire chapter
about beets all the same.

Come on Jac,
it's one of the few vegetables...

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